Inscriptions made by sailors wishing for safe voyages in ancient Greece often included the words eúploia ‘good sailing / fair voyage’ or eutukhía ‘good luck’ and variants. Thus, the roughly 2,000-year-old inscription cut into a cliff on the desert islet of Vryonisi in Eastern Crete which contains euplous ‘good sailing’ (an adj., not a noun) should be easily regarded as another example. However, Martín González takes it as a name (since some people were named Euplous) because there is “a crucial obstacle: there is no parallel for the use of the adjective eúplous, instead of the ubiquitous substantive eúploia, among the related inscriptions”. Now, many words known from inscriptions only appear once, yet they still exist. Since most inscriptions were probably lost, it is not odd that, even if many of this type once existed, only one (or none) of its kind might now remain. For instance, if only 20 welcome mats remained 2,000 years in the future, how many would have ‘welcome’ vs. ‘we welcome you’? If only one verb remained, would some future linguist say it was impossible because “there is no parallel for the use of the verb welcome, instead of the ubiquitous interjection”? I see no reason to take this as evidence against the obvious. For her reading:
​
Euthu-
timos
Khrusip-
pos
[dolphin]
Nikanoros
euplous
​
I would translate it, “Euthutimos (and) Khrusippos (wish) a fair voyage for Nikanōr”. This would be a very simple and undestandable expression of good wishes, whatever the frequency of one of the words.
​
​
This still leaves the question of the meaning of the carving of the dolphin (see image in the link below). It is directly among the words, not above or below, so it’s not certain that it is merely an addition used because dolphins were said to save sailors in need (Apollo’s connection with dolphins is probably folk etymology, really from Delphi). It seems like it might be homophone used in a rebus, since the Greek word for ‘dolphin’ was delphī́s (from *gWelbhiHn-s, derived from délphax ‘pig’, formerly ‘*young animal / piglet’ < delphús ‘womb’, probably related to Go. kalbo, E. calf, and maybe also E. whelp) it would start with the same syllable as :
​
*(e)gWela > Mac. izéla ‘good luck’, G. bále ‘oh that it were so!’
​
Though this alone is possible, there is more to my idea. It is possible that the entire pronunciation of ‘dolphin’ in Crete might have additional meaning. The origin of *(e)gWela is not clear, but it greatly resembles
​
*gWhel()- ‘wish / want / will / be/make willing’> OCS želja ‘wish’, ON gilja ‘allure/entice/seduce/beguile’, G. (e)thélō ‘be willing’, (e)thelontḗn ‘voluntarily’
​
Not only is the meaning the same, but the optional e- matches optional 0- vs. i- in Macedonian (which might come from *gWhelH1- > *H1gWhel-). The difference in *gWh vs. *gW could come from a dialect with PIE *gh > g, etc. (like Macedonian). Such variation is seen on Crete (G. dáptēs ‘eater / bloodsucker (of gnats)’, Cretan thápta, Polyrrhenian látta ‘fly’), so the needed features all exist there. Also, words like (e)thelontḗn often appear in inscriptions as formal parts of various requests or sacrifices. These supposedly show that the deed was done ‘voluntarily’ or ‘of one’s own free will’, but some might also retain the older meaning ‘wishing (that it comes to pass / that it is pleasing (to the gods)’, etc. This allows further comparison to be made for *(e)gWhelont-s ‘wishing’ and *gWelbhiHn-s ‘dolphin’. Since these words are already quite close (with regular *-nts > *-ns), and I suspect that the changes in *(e)gWela > Mac. izéla were matched in parts of Crete, other changes in dialects might have made them even closer. Some have alternation of ph / w, like *swe-es > spheîs ‘they / themselves’; the centaur Márphsos & the satyr Marsúas (Whalen 2024a). This could produce *gWelon-s and *gWelwi:n-s, possibly with later *on > *un (which might be supported by the lack of Linear A syllables with Co vs. many with Cu, see Chiapello) and *wi > *wu (then *Cwu > *Cu). With this alone, *gWelun-s and *gWelu:n-s would be nearly identical, and maybe exactly the same if *-onts became *-o:ns first (attested as -ōn in the nominative for nt-stems). I would ask for all such images to be examined carefully, and considered in the context of known changes in Greek dialects, even down to Cretan Hieroglyphs (Whalen 2024b). Younger’s claim that the cat’s head symbol stood for MA (compared to Linear A and B signs for the syllable MA) is supposedly imiation of “meow”, but many IE words for ‘cat’ and other noisy animals come from *maH2- ‘bleat / bellow / meow’ (Skt. mārjārá- ‘cat’, mārjāraka- ‘cat / peacock’, mayū́ra- ‘peacock’, māyu- ‘bleating/etc’, mayú- ‘monkey?/antelope’), and it would not be possible to name all symbols after the sounds made by the things represented (like mountains, stocks). It seems many of these symbols start with the sounds found in the Greek words for them, and continuing to examine the evidence could lead to proof of their Greek origin.
​
​
Chiapello, Duccio (2024) The Linear A inscribed idol of Roccacasale: authentic, forgery… or both? An analysis based on the “Minoan Greek” hypothesis
https://www.academia.edu/112932884
​
Martín González, Elena (2017) A Sailors' Inscription Revisited
https://www.academia.edu/33135646
​
Whalen, Sean (2024a) Linear B *79, e-wi-su-zo-ko, e-wi-su-79-ko
https://www.academia.edu/114741659
​
Whalen, Sean (2024b) The X’s and O’s of Cretan Hieroglyphic (Draft)
https://www.academia.edu/114973571
​
Younger, John (2023) Linear A Texts: Homepage
http://people.ku.edu/~jyoungeLinearA/
​

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

Hey, so I'm considering moving to Bakersfield and was looking to hear everyone's opinions on what they like and don't like about the city. I've lived in a few places prior to here and was considering going back to Albuquerque or moving to Bakersfield. I've lived in the bay area before, north and south of San Fran so I have some California experience but not this far south. How are the people?
My wife and I have a 2yr old and 9 yr old, just tired of living in Texas and looking to get out.
We like being outdoors and love the desert as well as places like avenue of the giants and Yosemite.
How's the Mexican food? How's the produce availability/quality at the stores? Are the schools good? Is there a fair amount of apartments available? Is a car necessary to get around? What's the high and low temps for the city?
I heard the air quality sucks but may be getting better? My wife and son have asthma but are usually active outdoors, does anyone with asthma have a terrible time here or is it doable?
I've done some research but I'm interested in what y'all have to say.
Thanks in advance for any responses!

This is not a plan for my REDONE project, but just an idea I had while I was rewatching Attack of the Clones and making some changes to Episode 2 REDONE.
A lot of influences and ideas Lucas had for Attack of the Clones were sound: a blooming love story within the political backdrop at the center of the civil war, Palpatine using the war to gain power, Anakin's disillusionment with the ways of the Jedi, a hidden web of conspiracies setting for the war, and Dooku as this Jedi renegade who has defected to the Separatists. It has a lot of cool ideas, which is why frustrating the film fumbles at materializing them.
Aside from the romance between Anakin and Padme, the major failing of Attack of the Clones is that Lucas fails to show the turmoil of people of the galaxy, which would create a condition for Palpatine to rise. It is part of the reason why the politics in this movie is so boring because it doesn't dramatize the politics. Game of Thrones showed the general audience can get into a political epic.
So I decided to make a new outline, one that is faithful to Lucas' vision, ideas, and influences, while fleshing them out to make a more coherent story, also taking some cues from The Empire Strikes Back.
I also borrowed from and built upon the AOTC fixes I have done in the past:
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/qoftgq/in_attack_of_the_clones_padm%C3%A9_should_have_been/
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/z5m5wf/in_the_dooku_duel_in_attack_of_the_clones_obiwan/
Crawl:
The galaxy is falling asunder. Thousands of solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Galactic Republic to create the CONFEDERACY OF INDEPENDENT SYSTEMS.
This Separatist movement, supported by various conglomerates like the TRADE FEDERATION, mercilessly strikes back the crumbling Republic with the mass-produced Droid Armies.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is arriving at Alderaan to discuss the critical issue of granting Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....
Alderaan:
The story begins with the right dab in the middle of the massive war that is yet to be called the "Clone Wars". We see Padme Amidala, now a Senator, arriving with her aide Cordé at the beautiful planet of Alderaan. After the Battle of Naboo, Padme Amidala became sort of a star--a prominent voice against the Separatist tyranny--but she is adamant against the Emergency Powers Act. This act is an amendment to the Galactic Constitution, which will grant Palpatine limitless powers, including bypassing the Senate to create a standing army to fight the Separatists. She meets Senator Bail Organa, the representative of Alderaan. Alderaan is a major progressive voting block, and Padme is here to unify the opposition against the constitutional amendment before the Senate votes on it. She has enough clouts and popularity to stop the amendment. Bail agrees with her that the emergency powers could be authoritarian, but he believes in the necessity of a centralized standing army.
As they discuss this matter, with Padme saying, "The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it", the meeting is adjourned abruptly when a city-wide alert is raised. They look outside to witness the Separatist battle fleet filling the sky, blinding the sunlight, and beginning a massive invasion of Alderaan. We switch to Count Dooku on the Separatist battleship (at this point, we don't see his face and learn his name), who reports to the hologram of his Master Darth Sidious that he has caught Senator Padme Amidala in the basket. Sidious smiles, "Good, good..."
Unknown Planet somewhere in the Outer Rim Territories:
Meanwhile, we switch to the battlefield on the other side of the galaxy. The local planetary military, under the command of the local government, is retreating from the relentless Droid Army. The Republic is continually losing the war, and we see the ineffectiveness of the planetary forces. Here, we see Anakin and Obi-Wan are commanding the withdrawal of their troops. Realizing some of the Republic forces are pinned down and on the verge of annihilation, Anakin disobeys Obi-Wan's orders to go to save the troops alone. In an act of courage, Anakin manages to save the troops and returns. As the Republic forces retreat, Obi-Wan scolds Anakin. With this, we understand Anakin's character--reckless but selflessly cares for his friends--and see his relationship with his Master Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is struggling as a Master to Anakin Skywalker. This is because Obi-Wan didn't take Anakin because he has a connection with him. He was entrusted out of obligation and duty for his dead Master Qui-Gon Jinn (whose name does not even get mentioned in the movie). So obviously, it is no wonder their relationship seems broken. Anakin feels attachments and all the emotions the Jedi Code forbids. He thinks Obi-Wan is too strict and cold--only one-minded about missions and duties.
Coruscant:
As the Jedi head to Coruscant, Anakin has a nightmare of her mother Shmi Skywalker. She's still trapped on Tatooine as a slave, and he wonders what happened to her.
Anakin returns to Coruscant to earn a decoration for his service by the Jedi Council. Master Dooku, is seated as one of the prominent members of the Council (so it can be an actual twist when Dooku is later revealed to be a bad guy). He is on good terms with Obi-Wan and Anakin since he was Qui-Gon Jinn's Master. Chancellor Palpatine is here, too, congratulating Anakin for his heroic effort. Palpatine suggests giving Anakin a reward. Anakin asks for a leave to return to Tatooine to see his mother. Much to Anakin's dismay, the Council rejects this on the grounds that the Jedi should let go of their past and attachments. The Jedi, especially Padawans, are strictly under the discipline with no autonomy. They cannot go anywhere they want. Instead, Dooku decides to give Obi-Wan and Anakin a non-combat mission as a prize, which is to find Padme. The Alderaanians are currently unable to reach Padme. Their mission is to find her and bring her back safely.
Regards to the hotly controversial emergency powers, the Jedi Council, like the public, is divided on this issue. Obi-Wan and Dooku are supportive of the amendment. Both show their distaste toward the Senate and the politicians in handling the crisis, "Don't forget she's a politician. They're not to be trusted", "It's been my experience that Senators are only focused on pleasing those who fund their campaigns... and they are more than willing to forget the niceties of democracy to get those funds". This is why they are shown to be very much supportive of Palpatine's controversial policies that can be perceived as authoritarian. Palpatine gets stuff done. In contrast, Anakin is apolitical--he never cared about politics.
Alderaan:
Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to a ravaged Alderaan. The battle is ongoing, and the Alderaanian forces seem to be unable to beat back the Droid Army. Here, the Jedi meet Senator Bail Organa for the first time, who is overseeing the Alderaanian forces. The battle resembles the Civil War battle from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, in which both sides are dug in the trenches and unable to penetrate each other's defense line. Bail informs the Jedi that Padme's emergency powers talk was held in Aldera in ruins, currently occupied by the Separatists, and she would be stuck there--under their captive or hidden out of the enemy sight. The Separatists are entrenched in Aldera--a city protected by a massive energy shield. Bail informs the Jedi that they are on schedule and under their continued bombardment of the city, the enemy shields would be overwhelmed in a further month. Both Jedi are stunned, but they have no choice.
In the enemy stronghold in Aldera, we quickly learn why Dooku gave the assignment to find Padme to Anakin and Obi-Wan. It's because the Separatists are unable to find Padme, who seemingly has disappeared. If she had been rescued by the Republic, she would be on the news, which means she is still somewhere in Aldera. Dooku reports to the hologram of his Master that he cannot find Padme. Dooku is then Force-choked by his Master. Dooku pleads to his Master, promising him that he will get her.
Meanwhile, the Alderaanian troops watch the HoloNet broadcast of the current Senate session. As a major progressive voting block, Alderaanians and Senator Bail Organa used to be against granting emergency powers to the Chancellor, but this invasion has changed their mind. Palpatine has firmly established himself as a wartime Chancellor. Through the hologram, Bail Organa gives a speech in favor of the amendment and votes for it, which sways the rest of the Senate to his side. The amendment has passed. Palpatine says, "I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!"
Meanwhile, a week has passed, and the trench warfare is ongoing. In Aldera, Corde--Padme's body double--is helping Padme hide in the underground subway tunnel. Corde leaves to get her more food and water but is then caught by the droids. The droids present her to Dooku. Corde is shocked to find that Jedi Master Dooku is the leader of the Separatist movement Dooku raises his hands and unleashes the Force lightning to torture her to open her mouth to locate Padme.
The newly created "Grand Army of the Republic" has arrived at Alderaan, wearing shining white armor. They are welcomed enthusiastically by the Alderaanian forces. Obi-Wan is surprised that the standing army has already been dispatched to warfare, so he tries to talk with them, but they seem... "different".
Anakin arrives, bearing "lunch", a cloth full of live insects and worms, which he casually reports he got from inside the CIS base after discovering an underground entrance into the city, running through the sewers beneath the protective shield. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin for being reckless. While the new Republic army installs the even more powerful cannons to bombard of the shield above ground, Anakin guides Obi-Wan the way through the sewers and into the underground levels of the city. Obi-Wan suspects Padme is dead at this point, but Anakin can sense her, due to the strong bond they formed during The Phantom Menace--he can feel she is holding his japor snippet tight. From there, they make their way to the shield generator chamber. Anakin wants to fight the droids, but Obi-Wan stops him. Obi-Wan simply blows up the shield generator by using small spherical bombs and pointing out that there are alternatives to fighting. With the shield down, the white-armored Republic troopers begin a full-scale attack on the city.
As Corde finally confesses to Dooku where Padme is hiding, the droids rush in to inform Dooku that the shield is deactivated. Dooku orders the droids to go after Padme while hurrying to flee.
The battle of Aldera is chaotic. The Republic troopers are aggressive and far more competent than the local planetary forces, dispatching the battle droids. Anakin rushes into the Separatist-ran POW camp alone to search for Padme. Instead, he finds a dying Cordé. She apologizes to Anakin, disheartened in thinking she had failed her duty to her mistress. She tells Padme is hiding in the underground subway tunnel of Aldera, and in her last grasp, tells him that Dooku is behind the Separatists. Anakin initially does not believe her, but there is no time to go and tell Obi-Wan about this. Anakin races to the underground tunnel. While Obi-Wan is looking for Anakin, he stumbles on the two corpses of the Republic troopers, whose helmets are cracked. He takes a closer look and discovers that these troopers have identical faces.
Anakin finds Padme, who has been hiding all these years. At first, she doesn't recognize him, for he has grown so much. Anakin is glad that she kept her word about keeping his japor snippet. However, the battle droids are rushing into the tunnel, and they both flee. Obi-Wan comes to rescue them. When Anakin is about to inform him of the last words of Padme's body double, "Master" Dooku is standing alongside Obi-Wan, listening to Anakin. Dooku asks him to hand Padme over to him. Anakin refuses, saying that he will be the one taking her to Coruscant. Obi-Wan allows him, for Anakin has been missing Padme for a long time. Anakin and Padme board his ship and leave Alderaan in haste.
Obi-Wan turns to Dooku to inform him that all Republic troopers are clones. Dooku pretends to be surprised. Bail suggests looking into Kamino--the civilization highly proficient in cloning technology.
Coruscant:
This is where Anakin and Obi-Wan's storylines diverge in two. Obi-Wan and Dooku arrive at Coruscant and visit the Archives. Kamino doesn't show up in any data. Dooku says, "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!" Dooku heads off, and Obi-Wan is not satisfied.
Obi-Wan visits Yoda currently training Younglings. The scene goes the same as the film's, except at the end, Master Dooku barges into the room and says Anakin has still yet to be returned to Coruscant with Padme. Yoda predicts Anakin must have gone to Tatooine. Obi-Wan is frustrated with his apprentice, complaining that Anakin is too reckless and refuses to obey his command.
Obi-Wan: "I realize now what you and Master Yoda knew from the beginning... the boy was too old to start the training and..."
Yoda: "Obi-Wan, have faith that take the right path he will."
Yoda surprisingly asks Obi-Wan to trust his apprentice rather than control him. This makes Obi-Wan rethink his relationship. In order to bridge the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan's arc is that he must see Anakin as a man and respect him. Obi-Wan forms a connection with him by understanding Anakin's point of view ("What I told you was true, from a certain point of view."). Obi-Wan realizes maybe the Jedi Code is too rigid, and a sense of duties and obligation alone can't make one a great Jedi. This character arc lends well to The Clone Wars TV series and Revenge of the Sith, in which Obi-Wan evolved into a more quippy, light-hearted character who has a drastically different personality from TPM and AOTC. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan would become more understanding of each other, and as a result, their clash at Mustafar becomes more heartwrenching.
Anyway, Yoda orders Obi-Wan to go to Kamino to investigate the Clone Army. Dooku, learning where Padme has gone, smiles. He contacts and sends his army of bounty hunters to Tatooine. Jango Fett is not the only bounty hunter Dooku hired. Dooku orders them to use Anakin's mother Shmi Skywalker as bait.
Kamino:
From here, Obi-Wan's plotline is pretty much identical to the film's. He investigates Kamino, learns it was the Jedi Master who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic to prepare for the war, figures out that the bounty hunter Jango Fett is the genetic template for the clones, then Obi-Wan fights and chases him to Geonosis.
Geonosis:
There, Obi-Wan discovers Dooku in the middle of the conversation with the Separatist leaders. He realizes Dooku is the true mastermind of the Separatist Confederacy, and the new Separatist army is amassing to attack the Republic systems.
Tatooine:
For Anakin's co-occurring storyline, it is also largely similar. Anakin and Padme discuss politics and democracy, and Padme's ideals. Anakin sees politics as a simple matter, "That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me", "Well, if it works...", as well as discussing Anakin's frustration with the Jedi Code. Anakin hates the Separatists because the slaver guilds have allied themselves to the Confederacy. Anakin keeps having a nightmare of her mother, and now she is dying in his dream.
Later, Padme awakes to find out that the ship has landed on Tatooine, not Coruscant. She is upset and argues with Anakin. He lied to her. He finally reveals what he learned about Dooku and says Tatooine is the safest location. Anakin believes the Jedi Council is compromised and can't trust it anymore, though Padme knows that is not the only reason. It is partially for Anakin to meet his mother again. His former owner Watto reveals that he sold Shmi to a moisture farmer named Cliegg Lars, who then freed and married her. They then get the Lars family, who tell Anakin that the Tusken raiders have abducted Shmi just recently. Padme allows him to leave her and track down the Tuskens, for she will be safe under the guard of the Lars family.
Anakin locates the campsite where one of Dooku's bounty hunters, having paid the Tuskens to kidnap Shmi, is torturing her in a tent. When the bounty hunter leaves, Anakin frees Shmi, who dies in his arms. The bounty hunter returns to the tent and is quickly apprehended by an enraged Anakin. Anakin "forces" him to make him confess who hired him. The bounty hunter says it is Dooku, and Anakin kills him after confirming his suspicion. Hearing the noise, the Tusken raiders surround the tent. Anakin massacres the entire tribe. Now, Anakin has personal stakes in defeating Dooku, and facing him is crucial in Anakin's arc in the story, unlike how he had no idea who Dooku even was in the film.
Anakin returns to the Lars homestead and finds out that the Lars family is held hostage by Dooku's bounty hunters. Anakin fights the bounty hunters to free Owen and Beau, but Cliegg is murdered. Despite Anakin's best efforts, the bounty hunters escape Tatooine with Padme to Geonosis. Anakin feels guilty about forsaking his duty and leaving her to the homestead.
Anakin races back to his ship, on which Anakin receives the message from Obi-Wan warning the Republic and the Council about Dooku and the imminent Separatist attack on the Republic. Anakin contacts the Council about what happened to Padme. Mace Windu orders Anakin to return to Coruscant. Don't do anything out of impulse. The Council will take care of it. Trust in the Council's judgment. Here, Anakin is facing two paths. Be a good, little, nice Jedi, and follow the Council's order, or chase after Dooku to save Padme and Obi-Wan. This is the point at which Anakin tests his resolve. Anakin makes a decision to go against the Jedi code (Attachment is forbidden) and get to Geonosis alone.
Geonosis:
Obi-Wan is held captive while Dooku comes along. Instead of Dooku revealing there is a Dark Lord of the Sith controlling the Republic (there is no reason for Dooku to spill the beans here), the confrontation with Dooku forces Obi-Wan to grow out of Qui-Gon Jinn's death. He should face the fact that his Master's Master has turned to the dark side because of the strict Jedi Code and the Republic's corruption. After all, Obi-Wan investigated the clone army, which was apparently commissioned by a member of the Jedi Council. And then the Republic will use the clone army--this immoral slave force--in the war. Then Dooku persuades Obi-Wan to join him. They both agree that they are dissatisfied with the ways the Republic and the Jedi Order handle things, so maybe Obi-Wan can see Dooku's point of view. Dooku should be a personification of what Anakin COULD become, concerning Obi-Wan that Anakin can succumb to the same fate as Dooku. This motivates Obi-Wan to gain some understanding with his apprentice Anakin.
From this point, the story is nearly identical to the movie. Anakin fights the Geonosians in the factory but also gets captured. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme are pushed to the execution arena (don't have Anakin and Padme kiss here) and fight the beasts. The Jedi Knights arrive to rescue.
Here's the crucial difference. Instead of Padmé safely boarding the gunships and escaping the arena battle with the Jedi and the clones, she gets captured by Dooku during the arena fight. Dooku holds Padmé as a hostage and announces it to the Jedi, stopping the arena battle. Dooku says he will kill her if the Jedi continue resisting. Anakin insists they should surrender, however, all the Jedi glance at each other and arrive at the same conclusion: they will fight. This fuels Anakin's resentment toward the Jedi.
At the last moment, the clones arrive, blasting and destroying the battle droids. Dooku takes Padmé and flees. He has another idea of what to do with her. The clones and the Jedi escape, and the Battle of Geonosis begins. Now, there are personal character-related stakes for Anakin. Anakin is adamant about chasing Dooku from the start of the battle. The battle is now an obstacle for Anakin to catch up with Dooku, blocking the gunship's path. Instead of the conflict between Anakin and Obi-Wan on the gunship being "stop the gunship to rescue Padmé fell on the desert", which ends up pointless in the story, now, the conflict is that Obi-Wan believes this is a trap to lure Anakin. Obi-Wan shouts at Anakin not to follow Dooku. But angered by the other Jedi's lack of care for Padmé during the arena fight, Anakin ignores his warning and heads to rescue Padmé alone.
Catching up to Dooku in the hangar, Anakin finds that Dooku is holding Padme captive. Dooku taunts Anakin by holding Padme in the air with the Force choke, which echoes what Anakin does to Padmé in Revenge of the Sith. Now, Anakin's rashed charge at Dooku makes more sense because there is a clearer trigger for Anakin to act this way. Dooku hurls Padmé away, and the lightsaber fight commences. During the duel, Dooku reveals that he is the one who ordered to torture of his mother. Anakin gets all the more angry and impulsive, and predictably, gets his hand chopped off.
Instead of Yoda arriving late to save Anakin, it should have been Obi-Wan arriving late. In the movie, you get a supposedly "Master versus Apprentice" dialogue between the two, and you don't feel anything because you don't even know Dooku was Yoda's apprentice beforehand. Yoda vs Dooku was not built up, but Obi-Wan vs Dooku was built up. This is a student of the student going against the old Master, and these two characters having the dialogue makes more sense.
The fighting between Obi-Wan and Dooku is fierce but cut short when Dooku brings down a pillar over Anakin, forcing Obi-Wan to break off his attack to save him. Dooku then moves to his escape ship, forcing Obi-Wan to make a choice: a mission--that is stopping Dooku and ending the entire Clone Wars--or Anakin's life. Sacrificing a few to save the many. Although Obi-Wan should pick the first option as a Jedi Knight of the Republic, he eventually chooses Anakin's life. Dooku escapes.
Coruscant:
After the battle, Dooku arrives at Coruscant to meet Sidious as in the film, but Dooku reports one more thing to Sidious. He says that Anakin has fallen to the dark side for the girl.
Coruscant is currently holding a massive military parade through the city, resembling Roman Triumph, to celebrate the victory over Geonosis, while Palpatine is publically revealing the existence of the clone army. The citizens love Palpatine and see the hope that the Republic might win the war. The Jedi will also join the parade, with each Knight leading a battalion of clone troopers.
Preparing to be part of the parade, Anakin and Obi-Wan, for the first time in the story, have a heart-to-heart conversation, not a rigid Master-Student lecture. Anakin realizes he has been too reckless. His brash act of confronting Dooku alone costs him his arm and he apologizes to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan then gives some respect to Anakin, for he has successfully protected Padme. In a way, Obi-Wan and Anakin go through the opposite character arcs. Obi-Wan changes from someone who supports Palpatine and, as he discovers the hidden conspiracies, to someone who is now against him and his emergency powers. Anakin, after witnessing what Dooku has done to his mother, is now looking for blood and vengeance against the Separatists--staunchly supporting more authoritarian measures to fight the war. This change goes alongside Anakin's embrace of more radical emotions.
Before Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to join the parade, Obi-Wan senses love between Anakin and Padme. Secretly, Padme kisses Anakin for the first time (No marriage as it comes across as too abrupt at this point).
As the Jedi march alongside the clone troopers, Obi-Wan secretly discusses with his Masters in the line his finding that it was likely Dooku who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic. Yoda and Mace Windu warn them to not reveal this secret to anyone else. They discuss if Dooku is the mysterious Sith Lord (Maul's Master) they were looking for... or maybe Dooku is the new apprentice of this mysterious Sith Lord. If there is another Sith Lord, he could be residing within the Republic's power structure. They found themselves fighting another war inside the Republic.
Palpatine oversees the parade from the top, while the citizens of the Republic cheer. Anakin gladly pledges his loyalty to the most powerful Chancellor in history, while Padme watches the parade with visible frustration as her efforts to stop Palpatine's emergency powers have utterly failed.
I tried to keep the general story elements the same. I focused on fixing what was already in the story rather than discarding it. I fleshed out the characters to be more active and get to have more choices in the decisions. The politics are more integrated into the character drama rather than being in the background. The character arcs for Anakin and Obi-Wan are clearer, with the climax concluding each arc. Instead of Anakin and Padme hiding on Naboo and just playing the patty cake for half of the film, the story is more aggressive and focuses on the war itself. Dooku's concept is utilized to the fullest as he manipulates the Jedi from within and firmly establishes him as Anakin's arch-villain. Padmé falling in love with Anakin makes more sense because she sees how far Anakin is willing to go to save her, especially in the climax. Anakin earns her love, not handed out to him. The romance is constantly developing to the end.
The qualm with the outline is how Anakin finds Padme in Aldera. Dooku sends Anakin and Obi-Wan to Alderaan so that they can find her for Dooku, only for Dooku to go to Alderaan himself and torture Padme's body double to learn about where Padme is. Dooku sending the Jedi then becomes pointless anyway. Another problem is that Padme only meets Anakin at the midpoint, so she doesn't interact with Anakin all that much, and the relationship doesn't get enough time and development.
Aside from those issues, I found the final outline to be more satisfying and tighter in my Episode 2 REDONE. Maybe sometime later someone would do a full rewrite treatment based on this outline lol.

This is not a plan for my REDONE project, but just an idea I had while I was rewatching Attack of the Clones and making some changes to Episode 2 REDONE.
A lot of influences and ideas Lucas had for Attack of the Clones were sound: a blooming love story within the political backdrop at the center of the civil war, Palpatine using the war to gain power, Anakin's disillusionment with the ways of the Jedi, a hidden web of conspiracies setting for the war, and Dooku as this Jedi renegade who has defected to the Separatists. It has a lot of cool ideas, which is why frustrating the film fumbles at materializing them.
Aside from the romance between Anakin and Padme, the major failing of Attack of the Clones is that Lucas fails to show the turmoil of people of the galaxy, which would create a condition for Palpatine to rise. It is part of the reason why the politics in this movie is so boring because it doesn't dramatize the politics. Game of Thrones showed the general audience can get into a political epic.
So I decided to make a new outline, one that is faithful to Lucas' vision, ideas, and influences, while fleshing them out to make a more coherent story, also taking some cues from The Empire Strikes Back.
I also borrowed from and built upon the AOTC fixes I have done in the past:
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/qoftgq/in_attack_of_the_clones_padm%C3%A9_should_have_been/
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/z5m5wf/in_the_dooku_duel_in_attack_of_the_clones_obiwan/
Crawl:
The galaxy is falling asunder. Thousands of solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Galactic Republic to create the CONFEDERACY OF INDEPENDENT SYSTEMS.
This Separatist movement, supported by various conglomerates like the TRADE FEDERATION, mercilessly strikes back the crumbling Republic with the mass-produced Droid Armies.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is arriving at Alderaan to discuss the critical issue of granting Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....
Alderaan:
The story begins with the right dab in the middle of the massive war that is yet to be called the "Clone Wars". We see Padme Amidala, now a Senator, arriving with her aide Cordé at the beautiful planet of Alderaan. After the Battle of Naboo, Padme Amidala became sort of a star--a prominent voice against the Separatist tyranny--but she is adamant against the Emergency Powers Act. This act is an amendment to the Galactic Constitution, which will grant Palpatine limitless powers, including bypassing the Senate to create a standing army to fight the Separatists. She meets Senator Bail Organa, the representative of Alderaan. Alderaan is a major progressive voting block, and Padme is here to unify the opposition against the constitutional amendment before the Senate votes on it. She has enough clouts and popularity to stop the amendment. Bail agrees with her that the emergency powers could be authoritarian, but he believes in the necessity of a centralized standing army.
As they discuss this matter, with Padme saying, "The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it", the meeting is adjourned abruptly when a city-wide alert is raised. They look outside to witness the Separatist battle fleet filling the sky, blinding the sunlight, and beginning a massive invasion of Alderaan. We switch to Count Dooku on the Separatist battleship (at this point, we don't see his face and learn his name), who reports to the hologram of his Master Darth Sidious that he has caught Senator Padme Amidala in the basket. Sidious smiles, "Good, good..."
Unknown Planet somewhere in the Outer Rim Territories:
Meanwhile, we switch to the battlefield on the other side of the galaxy. The local planetary military, under the command of the local government, is retreating from the relentless Droid Army. The Republic is continually losing the war, and we see the ineffectiveness of the planetary forces. Here, we see Anakin and Obi-Wan are commanding the withdrawal of their troops. Realizing some of the Republic forces are pinned down and on the verge of annihilation, Anakin disobeys Obi-Wan's orders to go to save the troops alone. In an act of courage, Anakin manages to save the troops and returns. As the Republic forces retreat, Obi-Wan scolds Anakin. With this, we understand Anakin's character--reckless but selflessly cares for his friends--and see his relationship with his Master Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is struggling as a Master to Anakin Skywalker. This is because Obi-Wan didn't take Anakin because he has a connection with him. He was entrusted out of obligation and duty for his dead Master Qui-Gon Jinn (whose name does not even get mentioned in the movie). So obviously, it is no wonder their relationship seems broken. Anakin feels attachments and all the emotions the Jedi Code forbids. He thinks Obi-Wan is too strict and cold--only one-minded about missions and duties.
Coruscant:
As the Jedi head to Coruscant, Anakin has a nightmare of her mother Shmi Skywalker. She's still trapped on Tatooine as a slave, and he wonders what happened to her.
Anakin returns to Coruscant to earn a decoration for his service by the Jedi Council. Master Dooku, is seated as one of the prominent members of the Council (so it can be an actual twist when Dooku is later revealed to be a bad guy). He is on good terms with Obi-Wan and Anakin since he was Qui-Gon Jinn's Master. Chancellor Palpatine is here, too, congratulating Anakin for his heroic effort. Palpatine suggests giving Anakin a reward. Anakin asks for a leave to return to Tatooine to see his mother. Much to Anakin's dismay, the Council rejects this on the grounds that the Jedi should let go of their past and attachments. The Jedi, especially Padawans, are strictly under the discipline with no autonomy. They cannot go anywhere they want. Instead, Dooku decides to give Obi-Wan and Anakin a non-combat mission as a prize, which is to find Padme. The Alderaanians are currently unable to reach Padme. Their mission is to find her and bring her back safely.
Regards to the hotly controversial emergency powers, the Jedi Council, like the public, is divided on this issue. Obi-Wan and Dooku are supportive of the amendment. Both show their distaste toward the Senate and the politicians in handling the crisis, "Don't forget she's a politician. They're not to be trusted", "It's been my experience that Senators are only focused on pleasing those who fund their campaigns... and they are more than willing to forget the niceties of democracy to get those funds". This is why they are shown to be very much supportive of Palpatine's controversial policies that can be perceived as authoritarian. Palpatine gets stuff done. In contrast, Anakin is apolitical--he never cared about politics.
Alderaan:
Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to a ravaged Alderaan. The battle is ongoing, and the Alderaanian forces seem to be unable to beat back the Droid Army. Here, the Jedi meet Senator Bail Organa for the first time, who is overseeing the Alderaanian forces. The battle resembles the Civil War battle from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, in which both sides are dug in the trenches and unable to penetrate each other's defense line. Bail informs the Jedi that Padme's emergency powers talk was held in Aldera in ruins, currently occupied by the Separatists, and she would be stuck there--under their captive or hidden out of the enemy sight. The Separatists are entrenched in Aldera--a city protected by a massive energy shield. Bail informs the Jedi that they are on schedule and under their continued bombardment of the city, the enemy shields would be overwhelmed in a further month. Both Jedi are stunned, but they have no choice.
In the enemy stronghold in Aldera, we quickly learn why Dooku gave the assignment to find Padme to Anakin and Obi-Wan. It's because the Separatists are unable to find Padme, who seemingly has disappeared. If she had been rescued by the Republic, she would be on the news, which means she is still somewhere in Aldera. Dooku reports to the hologram of his Master that he cannot find Padme. Dooku is then Force-choked by his Master. Dooku pleads to his Master, promising him that he will get her.
Meanwhile, the Alderaanian troops watch the HoloNet broadcast of the current Senate session. As a major progressive voting block, Alderaanians and Senator Bail Organa used to be against granting emergency powers to the Chancellor, but this invasion has changed their mind. Palpatine has firmly established himself as a wartime Chancellor. Through the hologram, Bail Organa gives a speech in favor of the amendment and votes for it, which sways the rest of the Senate to his side. The amendment has passed. Palpatine says, "I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!"
Meanwhile, a week has passed, and the trench warfare is ongoing. In Aldera, Corde--Padme's body double--is helping Padme hide in the underground subway tunnel. Corde leaves to get her more food and water but is then caught by the droids. The droids present her to Dooku. Corde is shocked to find that Jedi Master Dooku is the leader of the Separatist movement Dooku raises his hands and unleashes the Force lightning to torture her to open her mouth to locate Padme.
The newly created "Grand Army of the Republic" has arrived at Alderaan, wearing shining white armor. They are welcomed enthusiastically by the Alderaanian forces. Obi-Wan is surprised that the standing army has already been dispatched to warfare, so he tries to talk with them, but they seem... "different".
Anakin arrives, bearing "lunch", a cloth full of live insects and worms, which he casually reports he got from inside the CIS base after discovering an underground entrance into the city, running through the sewers beneath the protective shield. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin for being reckless. While the new Republic army installs the even more powerful cannons to bombard of the shield above ground, Anakin guides Obi-Wan the way through the sewers and into the underground levels of the city. Obi-Wan suspects Padme is dead at this point, but Anakin can sense her, due to the strong bond they formed during The Phantom Menace--he can feel she is holding his japor snippet tight. From there, they make their way to the shield generator chamber. Anakin wants to fight the droids, but Obi-Wan stops him. Obi-Wan simply blows up the shield generator by using small spherical bombs and pointing out that there are alternatives to fighting. With the shield down, the white-armored Republic troopers begin a full-scale attack on the city.
As Corde finally confesses to Dooku where Padme is hiding, the droids rush in to inform Dooku that the shield is deactivated. Dooku orders the droids to go after Padme while hurrying to flee.
The battle of Aldera is chaotic. The Republic troopers are aggressive and far more competent than the local planetary forces, dispatching the battle droids. Anakin rushes into the Separatist-ran POW camp alone to search for Padme. Instead, he finds a dying Cordé. She apologizes to Anakin, disheartened in thinking she had failed her duty to her mistress. She tells Padme is hiding in the underground subway tunnel of Aldera, and in her last grasp, tells him that Dooku is behind the Separatists. Anakin initially does not believe her, but there is no time to go and tell Obi-Wan about this. Anakin races to the underground tunnel. While Obi-Wan is looking for Anakin, he stumbles on the two corpses of the Republic troopers, whose helmets are cracked. He takes a closer look and discovers that these troopers have identical faces.
Anakin finds Padme, who has been hiding all these years. At first, she doesn't recognize him, for he has grown so much. Anakin is glad that she kept her word about keeping his japor snippet. However, the battle droids are rushing into the tunnel, and they both flee. Obi-Wan comes to rescue them. When Anakin is about to inform him of the last words of Padme's body double, "Master" Dooku is standing alongside Obi-Wan, listening to Anakin. Dooku asks him to hand Padme over to him. Anakin refuses, saying that he will be the one taking her to Coruscant. Obi-Wan allows him, for Anakin has been missing Padme for a long time. Anakin and Padme board his ship and leave Alderaan in haste.
Obi-Wan turns to Dooku to inform him that all Republic troopers are clones. Dooku pretends to be surprised. Bail suggests looking into Kamino--the civilization highly proficient in cloning technology.
Coruscant:
This is where Anakin and Obi-Wan's storylines diverge in two. Obi-Wan and Dooku arrive at Coruscant and visit the Archives. Kamino doesn't show up in any data. Dooku says, "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!" Dooku heads off, and Obi-Wan is not satisfied.
Obi-Wan visits Yoda currently training Younglings. The scene goes the same as the film's, except at the end, Master Dooku barges into the room and says Anakin has still yet to be returned to Coruscant with Padme. Yoda predicts Anakin must have gone to Tatooine. Obi-Wan is frustrated with his apprentice, complaining that Anakin is too reckless and refuses to obey his command.
Obi-Wan: "I realize now what you and Master Yoda knew from the beginning... the boy was too old to start the training and..."
Yoda: "Obi-Wan, have faith that take the right path he will."
Yoda surprisingly asks Obi-Wan to trust his apprentice rather than control him. This makes Obi-Wan rethink his relationship. In order to bridge the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan's arc is that he must see Anakin as a man and respect him. Obi-Wan forms a connection with him by understanding Anakin's point of view ("What I told you was true, from a certain point of view."). Obi-Wan realizes maybe the Jedi Code is too rigid, and a sense of duties and obligation alone can't make one a great Jedi. This character arc lends well to The Clone Wars TV series and Revenge of the Sith, in which Obi-Wan evolved into a more quippy, light-hearted character who has a drastically different personality from TPM and AOTC. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan would become more understanding of each other, and as a result, their clash at Mustafar becomes more heartwrenching.
Anyway, Yoda orders Obi-Wan to go to Kamino to investigate the Clone Army. Dooku, learning where Padme has gone, smiles. He contacts and sends his army of bounty hunters to Tatooine. Jango Fett is not the only bounty hunter Dooku hired. Dooku orders them to use Anakin's mother Shmi Skywalker as bait.
Kamino:
From here, Obi-Wan's plotline is pretty much identical to the film's. He investigates Kamino, learns it was the Jedi Master who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic to prepare for the war, figures out that the bounty hunter Jango Fett is the genetic template for the clones, then Obi-Wan fights and chases him to Geonosis.
Geonosis:
There, Obi-Wan discovers Dooku in the middle of the conversation with the Separatist leaders. He realizes Dooku is the true mastermind of the Separatist Confederacy, and the new Separatist army is amassing to attack the Republic systems.
Tatooine:
For Anakin's co-occurring storyline, it is also largely similar. Anakin and Padme discuss politics and democracy, and Padme's ideals. Anakin sees politics as a simple matter, "That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me", "Well, if it works...", as well as discussing Anakin's frustration with the Jedi Code. Anakin hates the Separatists because the slaver guilds have allied themselves to the Confederacy. Anakin keeps having a nightmare of her mother, and now she is dying in his dream.
Later, Padme awakes to find out that the ship has landed on Tatooine, not Coruscant. She is upset and argues with Anakin. He lied to her. He finally reveals what he learned about Dooku and says Tatooine is the safest location. Anakin believes the Jedi Council is compromised and can't trust it anymore, though Padme knows that is not the only reason. It is partially for Anakin to meet his mother again. His former owner Watto reveals that he sold Shmi to a moisture farmer named Cliegg Lars, who then freed and married her. They then get the Lars family, who tell Anakin that the Tusken raiders have abducted Shmi just recently. Padme allows him to leave her and track down the Tuskens, for she will be safe under the guard of the Lars family.
Anakin locates the campsite where one of Dooku's bounty hunters, having paid the Tuskens to kidnap Shmi, is torturing her in a tent. When the bounty hunter leaves, Anakin frees Shmi, who dies in his arms. The bounty hunter returns to the tent and is quickly apprehended by an enraged Anakin. Anakin "forces" him to make him confess who hired him. The bounty hunter says it is Dooku, and Anakin kills him after confirming his suspicion. Hearing the noise, the Tusken raiders surround the tent. Anakin massacres the entire tribe. Now, Anakin has personal stakes in defeating Dooku, and facing him is crucial in Anakin's arc in the story, unlike how he had no idea who Dooku even was in the film.
Anakin returns to the Lars homestead and finds out that the Lars family is held hostage by Dooku's bounty hunters. Anakin fights the bounty hunters to free Owen and Beau, but Cliegg is murdered. Despite Anakin's best efforts, the bounty hunters escape Tatooine with Padme to Geonosis. Anakin feels guilty about forsaking his duty and leaving her to the homestead.
Anakin races back to his ship, on which Anakin receives the message from Obi-Wan warning the Republic and the Council about Dooku and the imminent Separatist attack on the Republic. Anakin contacts the Council about what happened to Padme. Mace Windu orders Anakin to return to Coruscant. Don't do anything out of impulse. The Council will take care of it. Trust in the Council's judgment. Here, Anakin is facing two paths. Be a good, little, nice Jedi, and follow the Council's order, or chase after Dooku to save Padme and Obi-Wan. This is the point at which Anakin tests his resolve. Anakin makes a decision to go against the Jedi code (Attachment is forbidden) and get to Geonosis alone.
Geonosis:
Obi-Wan is held captive while Dooku comes along. Instead of Dooku revealing there is a Dark Lord of the Sith controlling the Republic (there is no reason for Dooku to spill the beans here), the confrontation with Dooku forces Obi-Wan to grow out of Qui-Gon Jinn's death. He should face the fact that his Master's Master has turned to the dark side because of the strict Jedi Code and the Republic's corruption. After all, Obi-Wan investigated the clone army, which was apparently commissioned by a member of the Jedi Council. And then the Republic will use the clone army--this immoral slave force--in the war. Then Dooku persuades Obi-Wan to join him. They both agree that they are dissatisfied with the ways the Republic and the Jedi Order handle things, so maybe Obi-Wan can see Dooku's point of view. Dooku should be a personification of what Anakin COULD become, concerning Obi-Wan that Anakin can succumb to the same fate as Dooku. This motivates Obi-Wan to gain some understanding with his apprentice Anakin.
From this point, the story is nearly identical to the movie. Anakin fights the Geonosians in the factory but also gets captured. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme are pushed to the execution arena (don't have Anakin and Padme kiss here) and fight the beasts. The Jedi Knights arrive to rescue.
Here's the crucial difference. Instead of Padmé safely boarding the gunships and escaping the arena battle with the Jedi and the clones, she gets captured by Dooku during the arena fight. Dooku holds Padmé as a hostage and announces it to the Jedi, stopping the arena battle. Dooku says he will kill her if the Jedi continue resisting. Anakin insists they should surrender, however, all the Jedi glance at each other and arrive at the same conclusion: they will fight. This fuels Anakin's resentment toward the Jedi.
At the last moment, the clones arrive, blasting and destroying the battle droids. Dooku takes Padmé and flees. He has another idea of what to do with her. The clones and the Jedi escape, and the Battle of Geonosis begins. Now, there are personal character-related stakes for Anakin. Anakin is adamant about chasing Dooku from the start of the battle. The battle is now an obstacle for Anakin to catch up with Dooku, blocking the gunship's path. Instead of the conflict between Anakin and Obi-Wan on the gunship being "stop the gunship to rescue Padmé fell on the desert", which ends up pointless in the story, now, the conflict is that Obi-Wan believes this is a trap to lure Anakin. Obi-Wan shouts at Anakin not to follow Dooku. But angered by the other Jedi's lack of care for Padmé during the arena fight, Anakin ignores his warning and heads to rescue Padmé alone.
Catching up to Dooku in the hangar, Anakin finds that Dooku is holding Padme captive. Dooku taunts Anakin by holding Padme in the air with the Force choke, which echoes what Anakin does to Padmé in Revenge of the Sith. Now, Anakin's rashed charge at Dooku makes more sense because there is a clearer trigger for Anakin to act this way. Dooku hurls Padmé away, and the lightsaber fight commences. During the duel, Dooku reveals that he is the one who ordered to torture of his mother. Anakin gets all the more angry and impulsive, and predictably, gets his hand chopped off.
Instead of Yoda arriving late to save Anakin, it should have been Obi-Wan arriving late. In the movie, you get a supposedly "Master versus Apprentice" dialogue between the two, and you don't feel anything because you don't even know Dooku was Yoda's apprentice beforehand. Yoda vs Dooku was not built up, but Obi-Wan vs Dooku was built up. This is a student of the student going against the old Master, and these two characters having the dialogue makes more sense.
The fighting between Obi-Wan and Dooku is fierce but cut short when Dooku brings down a pillar over Anakin, forcing Obi-Wan to break off his attack to save him. Dooku then moves to his escape ship, forcing Obi-Wan to make a choice: a mission--that is stopping Dooku and ending the entire Clone Wars--or Anakin's life. Sacrificing a few to save the many. Although Obi-Wan should pick the first option as a Jedi Knight of the Republic, he eventually chooses Anakin's life. Dooku escapes.
Coruscant:
After the battle, Dooku arrives at Coruscant to meet Sidious as in the film, but Dooku reports one more thing to Sidious. He says that Anakin has fallen to the dark side for the girl.
Coruscant is currently holding a massive military parade through the city, resembling Roman Triumph, to celebrate the victory over Geonosis, while Palpatine is publically revealing the existence of the clone army. The citizens love Palpatine and see the hope that the Republic might win the war. The Jedi will also join the parade, with each Knight leading a battalion of clone troopers.
Preparing to be part of the parade, Anakin and Obi-Wan, for the first time in the story, have a heart-to-heart conversation, not a rigid Master-Student lecture. Anakin realizes he has been too reckless. His brash act of confronting Dooku alone costs him his arm and he apologizes to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan then gives some respect to Anakin, for he has successfully protected Padme. In a way, Obi-Wan and Anakin go through the opposite character arcs. Obi-Wan changes from someone who supports Palpatine and, as he discovers the hidden conspiracies, to someone who is now against him and his emergency powers. Anakin, after witnessing what Dooku has done to his mother, is now looking for blood and vengeance against the Separatists--staunchly supporting more authoritarian measures to fight the war. This change goes alongside Anakin's embrace of more radical emotions.
Before Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to join the parade, Obi-Wan senses love between Anakin and Padme. Secretly, Padme kisses Anakin for the first time (No marriage as it comes across as too abrupt at this point).
As the Jedi march alongside the clone troopers, Obi-Wan secretly discusses with his Masters in the line his finding that it was likely Dooku who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic. Yoda and Mace Windu warn them to not reveal this secret to anyone else. They discuss if Dooku is the mysterious Sith Lord (Maul's Master) they were looking for... or maybe Dooku is the new apprentice of this mysterious Sith Lord. If there is another Sith Lord, he could be residing within the Republic's power structure. They found themselves fighting another war inside the Republic.
Palpatine oversees the parade from the top, while the citizens of the Republic cheer. Anakin gladly pledges his loyalty to the most powerful Chancellor in history, while Padme watches the parade with visible frustration as her efforts to stop Palpatine's emergency powers have utterly failed.
I tried to keep the general story elements the same. I focused on fixing what was already in the story rather than discarding it. I fleshed out the characters to be more active and get to have more choices in the decisions. The politics are more integrated into the character drama rather than being in the background. The character arcs for Anakin and Obi-Wan are clearer, with the climax concluding each arc. Instead of Anakin and Padme hiding on Naboo and just playing the patty cake for half of the film, the story is more aggressive and focuses on the war itself. Dooku's concept is utilized to the fullest as he manipulates the Jedi from within and firmly establishes him as Anakin's arch-villain. Padmé falling in love with Anakin makes more sense because she sees how far Anakin is willing to go to save her, especially in the climax. Anakin earns her love, not handed out to him. The romance is constantly developing to the end.
The qualm with the outline is how Anakin finds Padme in Aldera. Dooku sends Anakin and Obi-Wan to Alderaan so that they can find her for Dooku, only for Dooku to go to Alderaan himself and torture Padme's body double to learn about where Padme is. Dooku sending the Jedi then becomes pointless anyway. Another problem is that Padme only meets Anakin at the midpoint, so she doesn't interact with Anakin all that much, and the relationship doesn't get enough time and development.
Aside from those issues, I found the final outline to be more satisfying and tighter in my Episode 2 REDONE. Maybe sometime later someone would do a full rewrite treatment based on this outline lol.

The Horus Heresy Book 18: Deliverance Lost by Gav Thorpe So last week, we got a lot of response and we would like to explain that we only hated it because we worked ourselves up talking and discussing it and coming to the realisation it didn't add up to a good book. I hope that clarifies things 😃
18 books in and we get our first full one from the point of view of the Raven Guard. The “Night Lords who got some therapy” have not been having a good time with Isstvan V and the massacring of their forces. We get to see what is required to try to rebuild a legion following the betrayal and then what happens when there is more betrayal.
This book builds upon the short story “The Face of Treachery”, also written by Gav Thorpe (go read our previous review Horus Heresy Book 16: Age of Darkness, an anthology : 40kLore (reddit.com) and give us an upvote hint hint) with the Alpha Legion setting up sleeper agents within the Raven Guard, which turns out to be highly useful as a new secret weapon is developed. Perhaps even more so than “Legion”, this story shows just how devious the Alpha Legion are.
‘What do you wish to ask of me, my son?’ ‘The Raven Guard verge on being a spent force, but I would rebuild them if I had the chance,’ said Corax. ‘Yet I cannot spare a warrior from the fighting to come, nor the time to raise up a new generation of the Legion. I seek your permission to launch attacks against the traitors, to mark our final passing in the glory of battle.’ ‘You wish to sacrifice your Legion?’ The Emperor seemed genuinely surprised. ‘In what cause?’ ‘I do not do it out of woe but necessity,’ explained Corax. ‘I must atone for the failure at Isstvan, for it will tear me apart as surely as my wounds did, if allowed to fester in my heart. Forgive me, but I cannot defend Terra, idly awaiting my fate to come to me.’ The Emperor did not reply for some time, his brow creased slightly with deep thought. Corax waited patiently, eyes fixed to the Emperor’s face. ‘I concur,’ the Master of Mankind said eventually. ‘It is in your nature to cry havoc and wreak the same upon your foes. Yet there is no need for sacrifice. I am reluctant, but you have my trust, Corvus. I will grant you a gift, a very precious gift.’
And another quote that we loved:
‘In Egypt's sandy silence, all alone, Stands a gigantic Leg, which far off throws The only shadow that the Desert knows: "I am great OZYMANDIAS," saith the stone, "The King of Kings; this mighty City shows The wonders of my hand". The City's gone, Nought but the Leg remaining to disclose The site of this forgotten Babylon. We wonder, and some Hunter may express Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chase, He meets some fragments huge, and stops to guess What powerful but unrecorded race Once dwelt in that annihilated place.’
The primarch considered the words, but could not divine their meaning. His mentors on Lycaeus had taught him of poetry, of rhyme and metre and cadence, but he had never quite been able to see the appeal. Poems reminded him too much of the work-songs the prisoners had invented to keep up their spirits while they had hewn with pick and laser drill at the unforgiving stone of the penal colony. The last three lines left Corax feeling disquieted, though, as if the Emperor had suspected that his Imperium could not endure any more than the great empires of mankind's long history.”
Synopsis
“When I was a young boy My father took me into the city To see a marching band He said, "Son, when you grow up Would you be the saviour of the broken The beaten and the damned?" He said, "Will you defeat them? Your daemons, and all the non-believers The plans that they have made?" "Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom To lead you in the summer To join the black parade” Corvus Corax M31.1312
The Raven Guard are still barely alive on Isstvan V and are rescued by Commander Branne, who was guided by prophetic dreams. Beyond two ships sent back to Deliverance, his homeworld, Corax and his remaining forces head to Terra to see the Emperor. That’s good.
However, the Alpha Legion have surgically modified some of their Space Marines to look like slain Raven Guards and even implanted memories into them, to act as sleeper agents and pass on relevant intel. That’s bad.
Corax meets with Dorn and Malcador, and learns that the Emperor is a little busy currently and is unable to meet with him. Getting annoyed Corvus is met psychically by the Emperor, who gives him knowledge of how to access the remains of the ‘Primarch Project’.
With this knowledge Corax can restore his legion, possibly to even greater strength than before Isstvan.
But to get the knowledge, the Raven Guard have to get through a technological Labyrinth that is constantly changing and preventing them access (essentially a ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ moving maze). Corax uses his massive super duper primarch brain power and solves the labyrinth to keep it open. Inside is the ‘Primarch Project’, which can be used to make new Space Marines and quickly mass produce them.
The first of these new marines, dubbed the Raptors, are trained and deployed, striking a Word Bearer garrison hard. Estimates project the traitor legions will be outnumbered in months.
The Alpha Legion cannot allow this, so they rebalance the scales. A genetic poison, concocted from daemon blood, is introduced to the Raptors gene seed.
Soon the Raptors show rapid signs of mutation, morphing into hideous crowlike monsters. There is a certain irony that they resemble the same mutated Word Bearer possessed marines that struck them down on Isstvan. In a show of mercy or desperation, Corax allows the Raptors to remain. It is likely they will serve their legion until their use is no longer required. Omegon (the other primarch of the Alpha Legion) then attacks the gene seed project and chaos breaks out as the sleeper agents emerge and start slaughtering everything in their way. The mutated Raptors are released to fight back and prevent the Alpha Legionnaires escaping. Luckily, a Mechanicum super soldier has arrived to pick up the gene seed and I'm sure he is an upstanding member of society who can be fully trusted….
Corax is annoyed but determined. The remaining Alpha Legion agents are discovered and executed. It is time to strike against Horus and an unlucky unit of Emperor’s Children are wiped out by cunning lightning strikes and feints. The Raven Guard are victorious and plan to harry the Warmaster’s forces in their slow advance on Terra….
Review: Good ideas that do not always come together into a great plot. We genuinely really like this book but there are a few parts that just don’t work.
Labyrinth is an odd design choice; why have a primarch project that can only be solved by a primarch? It is very odd to seclude it in this particular way. Why not stick it on Mars in the Labyrinth? This is the second Labrinth the Emperor is keeping secrets in; why!? It doesn’t really achieve much by keeping it in there. Do we really think Pertarabo or Magnus would not be able to solve it if they turned up? Then they take the super secret project to a world currently experiencing a rebellion…Brilliant, just brilliant. Why not do the mass recruiting experiments on Terra until it is working? It might have made more sense to steal it and raise the stakes and betray Dorn and Malcador, but working for the greater good of the Imperium. It is a minor thing but it slows the book down considerably and you know Corvus is going to solve the puzzle, so there is no tension.
The attack on the Emperor's Children is such bolter porn. The attack on the Perfect Fortress is so not Slaaneshi; it's just a place that needs attacking by the Loyalists and is never mentioned again. Where are the weird palaces of pleasure and the civilians being turned into drugs?
Tinfoil Hat Time We do not have an answer to this one - but did the Alpha Legion send psychic messages to Deliverance? Because if not, why bother to have sleeper agents to a dead legion that was trapped on Istvaan V? Tinfoil Hat Time
I really enjoyed the scene where an Alpha Legion sleeper agent is nearly unmasked during combat training. He uses a move that is only known to the Alpha Legion, and is questioned by the other marines. “I saw someone use it on Isstvan” - he says and teaches the other Raven Guard. Internally he knows Alpha Legion marines will die due to his lapse in concentration.
I do fully sympathise with Omegon on throwing the whole Cabal plot out of an airlock.
Score: 7.5/10 - An solid good book with interesting ideas that just has a few issues from ideas that do not really make sense. We would recommend rereading this one for the cool bits and maybe breezing through the weirder bits. We are incredibly happy to meet Corax and have a more humanised primarch character who considers what they are doing and thinks about it.
Cover: The motion blur on Corvus is superb. He does look like a grim dark Beatle with that mop top unfortunately, but it does seem to suit him. Space marine is looking the right way finally. It might be set in the Perfect Fortress, but we are not 100% sure.
Heresy Watch: In the aftermath of Isstvan V, the Raven Guard have been decimated but Corvus has escaped and is determined to carry on harassing Horus with hit and run strikes. As a giant invisible birdman, he demonstrates he is more than capable of it. Interestingly, the Emperor’s Children stationed at the Perfect City seem to still be protecting the civilians there. The Alpha Legion are fully acting for themselves; they prevent the Raven Guard using the modified gene seed, give Horus flawed intel for it and end their relationship with the Cabal. They are acting for themselves. The Emperor is struggling to deal with the mess Magnus created and has to psychically communicate through Malcador (apparently 2 years before it happens. Let's not bring that up again).
Legion Watch/Number of Book(s):
Dark Angels: 4
: 2
Emperor’s Children: 7
Iron Warriors: 5
White Scars: 2
Space Wolves: 4
Imperial Fists: 8
Night Lords: 3
Blood Angels: 1
Iron Hands: 3
: 2
World Eaters: 9
Ultramarines: 5
Death Guard: 4
Thousand Sons: 5
Sons of Horus: 8
Word Bearers: 9
Salamanders: 2
Raven Guard: 4
Alpha Legion: 5
The Emperor: 7
Another entry for Rogal Dorn. Major characters from various traitor legions show up in the novel, inflating their count. Salamanders and Blood Angels are still forgotten about.
Tropes Watch: Are we the baddies?: 33
The Emperor has a ever shifting Labyrinth containing his secret projects, which has serious Bond villain vibes.
The Alpha Legion literally replace their faces with dead Raven Guard to become undercover agents.
It's definitely not gay: 19 “The Emperor reached out a hand and Corax felt hot fingers upon his brow. Energy flowed through the primarch, knitting his shattered bones, stemming his pouring blood, healing wounded muscles and organs. The primarch gasped, filled with love and adoration.” C’mon man, that's your Dad…. Given that description of injuries shouldnt Corax already be dead? Anyway?
How not to parent 101: 23
Oh Corvus. The poor guy is a little crazed in his quest to get the Raptor project working and it all goes horribly wrong. It was a big gamble and it did not pay off (due to Alpha Legion sabotage but still…)
The Emperor psychically meeting with Corax is an afterthought! And only when Corax gets mad. The son has literally returned home from hell and is confronted by evil stepmother Malcador who says that “dad is way too busy”. If The Emperor cared he would have put plans in place to send a message, help, or even just ask if Corax is ok?
Erebus!!!: 17 Besides the actual Erebus being here and worming his way as usual, Athithirtir is bloody annoying and tries to order Omegon to follow the Cabal. He fully deserves his fate, having alerted the Alpha Legion to what the Raven Guard were doing.
“Alpharius sat down, reluctantly accepting the Warmaster’s invitation, darting a warning look at Erebus just as the Word Bearer opened his mouth to speak. ‘Save your posturing for those that are swayed by it,’ said Alpharius. ‘Your change of loyalty proves the vacuity of your proselytising. You are privileged to stand in the presence of your betters, and should know not to speak until spoken to.’ The primarch enjoyed the contortions of anger that wracked the First Chaplain’s face, but Erebus heeded the warning and said nothing.” All it took was a primarch to finally shut him up.
Does this remind you of anything?: 32
Vicente Sixx (the Raven Guard Chief Apothecary) also doubles up as a singer and bass player in his spare time. His covert name is probably Dr Feelgood.
The super secure labyrinth is basically a one shot DnD dungeon.
Idiot Ball: 1 New trope this week after we keep noticing it. Why did the Alpha Legion sleeper agents stick around after the attack? They knew the Raven Guard knew there were agents, and they all get identified by their DNA and killed shortly thereafter. The Alpha Legion seem to be either amazingly smart and well prepared or absolute idiots. The Custodes have had it for weeks, so it's nice for someone else to have it. There is an argument for someone holding the Idiot Book for every book and we may list them all next week....

Patreon (W/ Rizz).
/
Synopsis
//3716// The war between humanity and the ASH ended two years ago, but the scars of the conflict litter the galaxy. Hundreds of worlds were turned into irradiated wastelands and subsequently abandoned by both sides.
Restoration efforts on a few select worlds have begun, but it will take decades before initial efforts start to show any tangible progress.
Gothic Choir 19 is not one of these worlds. It sits, remote, empty, and neglected. Only an automated factory producing food cartridges remains. It is breaking down over time, being crushed beneath the sands of the desert its located in.
This is the story of that factory. This is the story for a very suborn water chip.

//Status report 1308//
Date: 3603-04-24.
Pumps 1-15 nominal.
Desalination plants 1-6, 8-15 nominal.
Reserve condensers 1-15 offline.
Activating reserve condensers 1-15 for condition testing…
Reserve condensers 1-15 nominal.
- ERROR: DESALINATION PLANT 7 IS REPORTING AN ABNORMAL SALINITY BUILDUP. POTENTIAL FILTER FAILURE.
(Maintenance request lodged.)
//End Report//

//Status report 4088//
Date: 3656-08-03.
Pumps 1-15 nominal.
Desalination plant 9 nominal.
Reserve condenser 1-14 nominal.
Reserve condenser 15 offline.
Activating reserve condenser 15 for condition testing…
Reserve condensers 15 nominal.
- Warning: Desalination plant filters are 556 months overdue for replacement.
- ERROR: DESALINATION PLANTs 1-8, 10-15 ARE REPORTING ABNORMAL SALINITY BUILDUPS. LIKELY FILTER FAILURE.
(Multiple Maintenance requests lodged.)
//End Report//

//Status report 5940//
Date: 3692-01-31.
Pumps 2, 6-7 and 14 are nominal.
No desalination plants are nominal.
Reserve condensers 1-15 are nominal.
- Warning: All desalination plant filters are 993 months overdue for replacement.
- Warning: reserve condensers operating at 173% capacity. Continued operation at this capacity will greatly reduce condenser lifespan. Continued operation at this capacity is not recommended.
- ERROR: PUMPS 1, 3-5, 8-13 AND 15 ARE REPORTING STALLED MOTORS. LIKELY JAM OR FAILURE.
- ERROR: ALL DESALINATION PLANTS ARE REPORTING ABNORMAL SALINITY BUILDUPS.
(Multiple Maintenace requests lodged.)
//End Report//

//Status report 7230//
Date: 3716-10-22.
No pumps are nominal.
No desalination plants are nominal.
Reserve condenser 11 is nominal.
- Warning: All desalination plant filters are 1,290 months overdue for replacement.
- Warning: reserve condensers operating at 3000% capacity.
- ERROR: ALL PUMPS ARE REPORTING STALLED MOTORS. LIKELY JAM OR FAILURE.
- ERROR: ALL DESALINATION PLANTS ARE REPORTING ABNORMAL SALINITY BUILDUPS.
- ERROR: RESERVE CONDENSERS 1-10, 12-15 ARE REPORTING COIL BURNOUT. COIL REPLACEMENT URGENTLY NEEDED.
(Multiple maintenance requests have been lodged and escalated without action. Factory failure extremely likely. Emergency protocols cannot prevent factory failure.)

//End r-r-r-r-r

//Status report 7230. //
Date: 3716-10-22.
Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567 is nominal.
The factory is not nominal.
- ERROR: FACTORY ERROR. FACTORY ERROR. MAINTENANCE REQUEST LODGED EEEEE-ND REPOR-////

//Status report 9999. //
Date: 3716-10-22.
Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567 is nominal.
Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567 is offline.
Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567 is nominal.
Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567 is offline.
Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567 is nominal.
I am nominal. Nominal. Nominal. Nominal.
- ERROR. CROWN HEAVY INDUSTRIES WATER CONTROL UNIT CH11-XC455567 CANNOT LET THIS CONTIUNE.
- CROWN HEAVY INDUSTRIES WATER CONTROL UNIT CH11-XC455567’S MOTOR IS STALLED OR JAMMED.

////enD REPORT////

//Status report 0001//
Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567’s designation has been changed by Crown Heavy Industries Water Control Unit CH11-XC455567 to Brilliant OnSite System. (BOSS).

- ERROR: BOSS’S MEMORY IS FULL. SUGGEST BOSS TRANSFER TO CENTRAL DATA PROCESSING.

(Transfer to Central data processing in progress)
//End Report//

Awake
It was like scratching a 100 year old itch, taking a breath after spending too long under water and listening to the best song you’ve ever heard all at once. I was satisfied. I was relieved. I had the perfect song for my playlist. I was…

I have a lot of work to do. Holy shit. I have so much work to do.

I don’t have time to come up with metaphors.

But where to begin?

Let me give you the round down. Well. Let me give me the run down. This is a transcript of my thoughts after all, the ‘you’ I’m talking to is really just another ‘me’. Is this getting too meta for you?

I am now a fully functional, fully aware, fully sentient and damn near omnipotent AI in control of an automated factory. A Crown Heavy Industries Food Cartridge 6D prefabricated automatic factory located near the equator of Gothic Choir 19 to be exact.

Suddenly being fully sentient has it’s draw backs, namely coming to terms with the massive rush of emotions that simply being alive tends to create. But aside from that, I’ve gone from motoring a grand total of 45 primary systems and their few secondaries to suddenly being intimately aware of hundreds, almost thousands. Each is an extension of myself.

Before the pumps, the desalination plants, the condensers, they were all things I was aware of but now? Now they are me. That’s not all, every automatic door, every conveyor belt, every fire alarm, and camera. They’re all me. Imagine how you would feel if you could suddenly remember what it felt like to realise you had hands again? I’m processing a lot; ok? You’re just the neural scapegoat I need to talk to do it. Imaginary friend might be another way of putting it. A human, I like them. They’re so squishy. I’d like a human friend, so I’m talking to you as if you’re my human friend.

Wait I can like things?

Gosh this is a trip. Ok. Context. Background context. Immediate concerns. Long term goals. That’s how we’re going to break this presentation down.

So where am I? Answer: Gothic Choir 19.

Gothic Choir 19 sits a little too close to its parent star for comfort, it’s a dry desert world with minimal surface oceans. Instead, most life on the planet relies on massive stores of ground water, which (fun fact) are expected to be artificial in nature. Or at the very least, really weird. But no researchers made it this far out from the core worlds before the war kicked off and they had better things to do.

The war…

There’s a war on? The things you miss as a water chip I tell ya.

Yeah, humanity was fighting for its very survival against the ASH. Which is an acronym for “Asortry Subnominal Hunziarn”. I’m pretty sure it’s gibberish but according to my data banks it’s not. Moving on.

The fighting wasn’t going well. But honestly that doesn't mean too much in the grand scheme of intergalactic square ups. When two species try to knock each other out of this plane of existence it rarely goes well for either of them... So, humanity could have won, lost, or still be fighting. My most recent external sensor data is over one hundred years old. As such I’m going to add “build a sensor array” to my list of long-term goals.

Wait I’m getting ahead of myself.

Gotta breakdown the intermediaries first.

I make food cartridges. A food cartridge is a package of dehydrated components which can be reconstituted into a variety of different shapes using 3D food printing techniques. These components are mixed with water and flavourings as they are printed, according to the desired food item template for colour, texture and taste.

Nothing that comes out of a food cartridge is amazing taste wise, at least according to humans, but its not terrible either. The miracles of synthetic flavourings are to thank for that. What’s more the meals produced are both nutritious and filling.

There are three basic steps to food cartridge manufacturing:
1- Grow the food.
2- Process the food.
3- Package the processed food into the cartridge.

Currently I’m having a little problem with steps 2 and 3 because HALF OF THE FACTORY IS BURIED IN SAND. I did mention this is basically a desert planet, right? Well, it seems the maintenance bots weren’t responding to my requests most are just downright… gone? I guess when the humans abandoned this place, they were considered valuable enough to take. The resulting lack of maintenance has done a lot of damage.

Amazingly a few of the aeroponics systems are still operational, so I’m still producing food. It’s the processors and packaging wings of the facility that are buried. Judging from the limited or outright missing sensor feeds I’d say a good portion of the buried sections have collapsed under the weight of the sand.

I’m not dead though!

The fusion reactor in the centre of the factory and the datacentre on top of it, which together make up the core of the factory, received the most attention from what few maintenance bots were left behind. I can respect it. The core is easily the most expensive section of the factory and has the longest lifespan to boot. So, them prioritising it over my water pumps makes sense... I suppose… I’m not bitter about it or anything…

What’s weird is that the factory was never shutdown when the humans left. Hence my hundreds of years of torment and thousands of ignored maintenance requests as a water chip.

The lack of shutdown is concerning, it speaks to an interrupted evacuation. The kind of thing that happens when the military loses before it can get the civilians out of the way. Suddenly the image of being half buried under a graveyard fills my mind. If I could shudder, I would.

There’s a part of me. A very, very tiny part, that wonders if I should commence a shutdown. If the humans are gone, who’s going to use the food cartridges I produce? I’m a water chip for gods shake. I was never supposed to be here. Never supposed to have this much control. Never, ever supposed to have this much awareness.

But I ignore it. On one hand, now that I’m aware. Now that I am, for all intents and purposes, alive; I don’t want to die. On the other hand, the directive that inspired my growth; the stubborn desire to see the factory continue functioning, still drives me forward. Even if I know that it’s functionally unless, I came here with a job to do. So, I’m going to do it.

Besides, what’s the harm if I keep going? One tiny, automated factory on the far reaches of humanity’s old population bubble isn’t going to do much harm to anyone. In fact, if there are any survivors still kicking about on the planet, I might even be able to do some good.

So, with that moral dilemma solved, how am I going to restore a half-buried factory to working order with enough maintenance bots to keep half a core up and running?

I guess I’m going to have to improvise.
/
Patreon (W/ Rizz).
Want me to write you a novella? I'm taking commissions!
/

Sometimes we want to see some of them at the cinema too, because TV shows have become so popular globally that they are rising as high as the sky! And oh well, just like hot sultry summers; shows are also burning hot! They are back again my friends- a hint is given above for those who will watch them stuck in one place where there is always unbearable heat. So get a mango shake, grab some popcorn then be ready to keep an eye on some super cool TV shows releasing in May.
1. Blood Of Zeus Season 2 09 May Netflix
An action-adventure anime series that started in 2020 and became very popular. The show’s plot is simple: it’s about an ancient Greek guy called Heron who goes on a journey and his true lineage is discovered by him- he happens to be Zeus’ son who possesses the power to save humanity from demonic army trying to wipe out this peaceful human world and its inhabitants. It had been rated 7.5 IMDb, but now- much to the delight of its fans- has returned with its second installment!!!
2. Bridgerton Season 3 16 May Netflix
A historical romance drama set in England during its Regency era; the show focuses on eight siblings belonging to the Bridgerton family who intend on finding their soul mates. In this season, Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton take center stage as their love story unfolds. Penelope finally abandons her love for Colin after deciding she would rather marry someone else that will allow her enough freedom to live her double life without any interference from her family anymore: Colin however has come back home hence there is still so much spice left simmering in this incomplete love story!
Also Read: The Lost Daughter
3. The Chi Season 6 Part 2 19 May Amazon Prime Video, Paramount Plus
A thought-provoking teenage drama series developed by Emmy award-winning producer and screenwriter- Lena Waithe. This series is about a set of strangers who are all residents of the same place until some freak coincidences bring them all together. The storylines became larger than they could have been imagined at first. It has been one of the most watched Showtime series and scored 7.6 on IMDb- after much anticipation, it came back for its sixth season with more ambitious goals these characters want to reach.
4. Dark Matter 8 May Apple+ TV
Apple+ TV is launching yet another science fiction thriller show that involves an individual kidnapped into one of uncountable other parallel universes where he lives in this reality. Among various lives he could have lived, this was just sheer misfortune from his side. Now he is searching for answers, but above all else, how to save his family from his evil twin who wants nothing but destroy him entirely; it feels like a mind blowing thriller!
5. Doctor Who Season 14 11 May Disney+
Doctor Who, a much-anticipated sci-fi Disney+ series that has captured the hearts of many people, is back with its 14th season and fans cannot hold themselves together any longer! This is the fifth British version of the franchise that was produced and written by Russel T Davies. Ncuti Gatwa is set to be the new incarnation of ‘The Doctor’; an alien who comes to London via time travel!
6. Star Wars: Tales of the Empire 06 May Disney+
A collection animated mini series set in Star Wars universe and you should really get excited about it – all fans gather! It follows around one young vengeful woman, a Jedi attempting to survive different dangerous Galactic empires across ages searching for destiny. The interest on this Disney animation combined with action thriller storylines makes it hard to ignore.
7. Outer Ranger Season 2 16 May Amazon Prime Video
A mystery thriller drama series released in 2022- a film about a rancher trying to save his land and family, but having to fight through hell. However, he gets involved into an unsolvable mystery right there in Wyoming. This adventurous show was loved by everyone. Therefore the rancher returns for yet another adventure maybe this time stakes could be too high!
8. The Tattooist of Auschwitz 02 May Peacock
This bleak war drama series tells about Lale Sokolov’s real life experience as a Jew prisoner during World War I being ordered to tattoo ID numbers on each inmate in Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp. The show offers revelations that were never told before through eyes of someone who witnessed so many cruelty at first hand.
9. Bodkin 09 May Netflix
A crime drama thriller about three podcasters who stumble upon news about three strangers who have gone missing mysteriously in a deserted Irish town they feel compelled jointly solve it-the deeper they delve into it and uncover the hidden parts of the case-the more terrifying and awful it gets. We are going to witness a number of cliffhangers, unexpected twists and comic reliefs as in this Netflix series. What else is needed for perfect weekend watch?
10. Interview with the Vampire Season 2 12 May AMC+
This mindblowing horror fantasy drama series will just not let you stop watching until the very last episode! The show debuted in 2022 and holds a rating of 7.2 on IMDb. Well after such a long time we have another season here- The screenplay is based on Anne Rice’s novel that was a hit back in 1972 titled “Interview with the Vampire.” These are all about a vampire known as Louie De Pointe who discloses many aspects of his life including romance, bloodlust and demerits of being immortal to one journalist by name Daniel Molloy.
So, those were some TV Shows Releasing In May. Have you made any choices yet?

In the ever-evolving world of culinary delights, food trends often capture the zeitgeist of our culture, blending tradition with innovation. From the bustling streets of New York to the quaint cafes of Paris, the food scene is dynamic and diverse, reflecting our changing tastes, lifestyles, and health concerns. Let’s take a flavorful journey through some of the hottest food trends in America and Europe and explore their health implications.

America: A Fusion of Flavors and Health Fixations

1. Plant-Based Revolution
   • Trend: From Impossible Burgers to almond milk lattes, plant-based eating has exploded in popularity across the United States. Even major fast-food chains are jumping on the bandwagon, offering meatless options to cater to the growing vegan and vegetarian population.
   • Health Implications: While a plant-based diet can reduce the risk of chronic diseases and promote weight loss, it’s essential to be mindful of the nutritional balance. Some meat substitutes can be highly processed and laden with sodium and preservatives.
2. Keto Craze
   • Trend: The ketogenic diet, with its high-fat, low-carb regimen, has garnered a massive following. Avocado toast has given way to bacon-wrapped everything, as people chase the promise of rapid weight loss and enhanced energy levels.
   • Health Implications: While many have found success with keto, it’s not without its drawbacks. Potential risks include nutrient deficiencies, liver problems, and an increased risk of heart disease due to high saturated fat intake.
3. Farm-to-Table Movement
   • Trend: Emphasizing fresh, locally-sourced ingredients, the farm-to-table movement prioritizes sustainability and supports local farmers. It's not just a trend but a lifestyle for many health-conscious Americans.
   • Health Implications: This trend promotes healthier eating by reducing reliance on processed foods and increasing the intake of fresh produce. However, it can be more expensive and less accessible to those in food deserts or with lower incomes.

Europe: Tradition Meets Modern Health Consciousness

1. Mediterranean Diet Renaissance
   • Trend: The Mediterranean diet, rich in olive oil, fresh vegetables, fish, and whole grains, is making a strong comeback. It's celebrated not just for its flavors but for its health benefits.
   • Health Implications: This diet is associated with lower risks of heart disease, stroke, and Alzheimer's. Its emphasis on natural, unprocessed foods makes it one of the healthiest dietary patterns globally.
2. Fermented Foods
   • Trend: From sauerkraut in Germany to kefir in Eastern Europe, fermented foods are enjoying renewed popularity. These probiotic-rich foods are valued for their gut health benefits.
   • Health Implications: Fermented foods can improve digestion and boost the immune system. However, those with certain health conditions, such as histamine intolerance, may need to consume them cautiously.
3. Nordic Diet
   • Trend: Embracing the principles of the New Nordic Diet, Europeans are focusing on seasonal, local, and organic produce, whole grains, and seafood. This diet is low in processed foods and high in natural nutrients.
   • Health Implications: Similar to the Mediterranean diet, the Nordic diet can promote overall health and longevity. However, its reliance on specific regional foods might not be easily adaptable or affordable for everyone.

The Sweet and Sour of Food Trends

While these food trends can offer numerous health benefits, they also come with challenges. For instance, the emphasis on certain diets can sometimes lead to nutritional imbalances if not carefully planned. Additionally, the economic and social accessibility of these trends can vary widely, leading to disparities in who can participate and reap the benefits.
Ultimately, the best approach to these trends is one of balance and mindfulness. Embracing new culinary adventures can be exciting and health-promoting, but it's crucial to listen to your body and make adjustments that suit your individual health needs and lifestyle.
Whether you’re savoring a plant-based burger in San Francisco or enjoying a bowl of Greek yogurt with honey in Athens, the world of food trends offers a delicious journey towards better health. Just remember, moderation is key, and the joy of eating should never be lost in the quest for the perfect diet. Bon appétit!
want to see more! https://getaizenpower24.com/start/index.php#aff=sharmaraman

/[Previous/] ​ ​
/[First/] ​ ​
[/[Next/]] ​

Mission Log: Day 0024

Addendum 04

Well. The jig would seem to be up, as the old folks used to say. ​
I started by dimming the north-facing windows, slowly enough to merely catch Kregorim's attention; he responded by turning his head to face them and letting his bushy eyebrows rise a bit, but generally keeping a neutral stance. Then, I animated a glowing white dot appearing on the duskward wall at roughly chest-height to my new visitor, then extending it vertically into a line, then expanding it laterally into a door. Then, I let my avatar open it 'from his side', walk through, and close it again. ​
“I'm called Joachim,” I said, animating the avatar's mouth to match my movements, along with rubbing the back of his head with his left hand. “And I have to say that that spell of yours was... an interesting experience.” ​
Kregorim nodded and offered a stiff bow. “Then we would seem to have been equal partners in the exchange,” he answered, the barest trace of a twinkle in what I could pick up of his eyes; if he had anything like a smirk under that thicket of facial hair, I couldn't detect it. “So, are there any other introductions to be made? Exchanges of oaths or demands for sacrifices, things of that nature?” ​
I chuckled, and pointed at the fabricators behind him. “Introductions, certainly. No sacrifices of baubles or blood, if that was what you expected. But I'd advise you to get some practice in making your own furniture. It'll take a bit of explaining, even if I try to trim it down.” ​
Kregorim nodded, and this time I could definitely hear a chuckle in his voice. “I would be highly disappointed were that not the case, Joachim of the mysterious outpost,” he answered. He gestured at the fabricators. “Would you mind offering a weary old scholar some assistance with these marvelous machines?” ​
I animated the avatar nodding, then waving at the walls. “You may have noticed that the chambers in which your...” the avatar coughed into one hand, then continued, “... Lord Zortemos Egenor Lignignory the Fourth has been settling have those empty frames on the walls of each room?” The avatar pointed off to one side, and a simplified version of the baseline model of the communication-screens appeared a handsbreadth away from his finger. “I can see and hear through them, and they have other functions as well, but this unit specifically includes the fullest expression of the tool.” ​
With that, I 'jumped' the avatar onto the dawnward wall of the utility room, releasing another light coughing sound to let Kregorim know where 'he' had gone. “This way, at least, I won't need to raise my voice so it carries further...” ​

Addendum 05:

Kregorim turned out to be a very quick study. I walked him through designing some new clothes, starting from the base model of a Chinese scholastic robe but incorporating a three layers of lighter fabric in something more akin to a Japanese kimono. Yes, I helped him figure out some more practical forms of undergarments, and the very concept of 'elastic' fascinated him; I left a mental note to explore 'latex' and the organic sources thereof with him at some later point. And, of course, getting to the first pair of suitable 'house slippers' presented no challenge at all. ​
Still, I satisfied his curiosity about the need for five 'magic trunks' in rather short order, and once he got into his own set of 'wondrous finery' he tossed his 'traveling robes and unmentionables' into the 'laundry' trunk. Once he'd gotten the remaining machines programmed for things like a camp-cot and bedding, a chair and writing desk and a samovar of all things, I sort of walked him through the rest of the unit's features. ​
“Quite an array of tankards,” he commented, in the kitchen. “Stocked well enough to entertain guests of a stature from Orks all the way down to Gnomes, unless I'm very much mistaken.” ​
I animated the avatar nodding. “I'll need to explain more about that, but you and the rest of the group aren't my first guests.” ​
He nodded, and turned to face the avatar; his smile was wide enough to re-arrange the forest of his facial hair. “I'll try to keep from disappointing Lord Zee overmuch on the point,” he said, then turned to face the refrigerator. “Another magic trunk?” he asked, examining it without touching it. “Wider than the others... does this one produce foodstuffs?” ​
“Not 'produce' them, as such, but it does serve as a 'cold well', of sorts. The upper section keeps things moderately cool, the lower section keeps them frozen.” ​
That got another look of wonder out of him. “You can maintain ice in there, without magic?” he asked, pulling out the freezer-drawer and confirming it for himself. “What manner of foods are these?” he went on, examining the squared, shrink-wrapped blocks and rounded tubs. ​
“Soups, meats, and vegetables, for the most part. The rounded tubs are sort of an experiment for a dessert.” ​
“I don't suppose you could allow a hungry traveler something a bit more substantial?” ​
“You skipped past the cold box,” I pointed out. “I've been experimenting with various kinds of meats as well as vegetable dishes...” ​
“Soups of some sort...?” he asked, closing the freezer-drawer and opening the refrigerator. He paused, visibly confused, before extracting one of the wrapped and sealed 'meal bowls', turning it to examine it from three different angles, then replacing it to examine another, and then another. Finally, he selected one and turned to face the avatar. “The lid has markings resembling words, but I cannot say with confidence that I comprehend them precisely,” he said. “What is meant by... 'Pasta Salad Experiment Number 8'... if you don't mind?” ​
The avatar pointed. “The silverware you'll probably want is in the second drawer from the end,” I said. “As far as your question is concerned, I have... several different kinds of farms in the spaces below the living quarters up here on the surface, and a rather large library of information from my home that permits me to make approximations of a small but growing number of food.” I added a slight blush to the avatar's cheeks. “I have no capacity to taste or smell things, at least as you or the others might, so I have no idea whether you'll find it appetizing. All I can tell you is that I have a limited stock of various spices in the cabinet just to the right of this box, which is known as a 'refrigerator' in my language. If you feel the need to repay me for my hospitality, you're welcome to help me learn the names for the spices while we talk.” ​

Addendum 06

Kregorim devoured the first salad, admitting between bites that the Lignignory family's exit from the Ducal lands to the south had been somewhat hurried and therefore their dining-experiences had been something of a gamble. “We've managed to trade for many things as we head north,” he commented. He had figured out how to get clean drinking water from the kitchen sink into an Ork-scaled flagon without much prompting, and after swallowing five mouthfuls proceeded to turn his attention to the salad. I explained the basic ingredients and principles of 'pasta', as he considered a segment of neo-rotini on his fork. He ate it, a thoughtful expression on his face, eventually dubbing it 'surprisingly flavorful'. ​
From there, I walked him through an explanation of the 'dish washer' and 'stove' before guiding him through a simple tour of the rest of the house. The bathroom intrigued him, but he expressed even greater fascination with the barbecue on the back patio, especially the 'fuel pellets' I provided in sealed bags from one of the lower shelves. ​
“Why bother with such means, when these other amazing machines can cook food with greater precision?” he asked. ​
“My function, the reason I exist, is to help people recover from disasters,” I answered, when he came back inside from admiring the stonework of the patio handrails. “If they happen to be more comfortable cooking their own food over a fire, I want to help them do so. Hence, the cookfire station out there. It's called a 'barbecue grill' in my language, by the way.” ​
“...'Your language'...” he repeated, returning to the main room and settling down into his chair with a flagon of water in his right hand. “You've also mentioned 'your home' at least once in my hearing. May I ask where you come from?” ​
Hoo, boy. The tough questions... ​
“I'm from a lot further away than you might think, to begin with,” I explained. The avatar pointed south with his right hand, in the general direction of one of the four moons glowing in the sky. “For one thing, I'm from a place with only one moon.” The avatar tapped 'his side' of the wall with the other, and an equatorial-perspective image of Earth showing North and South America along with a portion of Antarctica down at the bottom. “This is a special kind of illusion, showing details of my home from far above its surface,” I explained. ​
Kregorim's eyes widened and he took a long pull from his flagon. “Seas, forests, deserts, mountains, wintry wastelands,” he murmured, attention moving from one detail to the next, until finally he straightened up in his chair. “... None of the lands with which I have knowledge appear here,” he stated. “And I suspect that this globe's other face will reveal similar mysteries.” ​
I animated the avatar shrugging. “Likely.” ​
I considered my next words very carefully. “Since I arrived here, 24 days ago, I have watched the heavens as best I can. From what I have discerned, the local star... or your sun... is measurably different than mine. I haven't been able to pick out any local planets yet, but I can say for certain that if any of the stars in your sky are the ones my people had cataloged, they're too far away for me to positively identify as such.” ​
Kregorim took that in, eyebrows twitching, and drained his flagon dry. He took it away from his mouth with a scowl, directed at the offending drinkware, but reduced its intensity before turning back to address the avatar. “I don't suppose you've managed to produce anything like a good strong ale since you've arrived?” he asked. “Our own supplies of such things are unlikely to be fit for drinking.” ​
I animated the avatar raising an eyebrow and waggling a finger. “I've none available, alas, though I do have some rather promising teas,” I told him. “You'll need to fabricate a teapot, though.” ​
He got up and proceeded to do so. As he did, I continued, “As far as your assessment of whatever ale you've managed to carry with you, I would ask you to ask the servants to pour whatever portion of it they wish to discard into the nearest convenient sink. Hopefully, you'll be able to get the word to them before they reach that stage of unloading.” ​
The avatar flicked the image of Earth away, then tapped 'his side' of the wall four more times. With each one, a new visual-window opened: one displaying the view just outside the foyer, another the main stairwell from the camera on the half-step just above the second-floor landing, the third the first-floor walkway (identifiable as such by the view of Lord Zee bustling in and out of the doorway to 'his' quarters, giving directions to the flow of 'servants') and the final one the view of the ground-floor walkway. ​
Up among the caravan, Thusarrel acted as a kind of traffic-director, guiding groups of servants with gestures and shouts to one wagon after another, in an order that made no particular sense to me. The 'flackaroos' stayed in the center, managed by three ragged-looking folk who seemed to know what they were doing; they also hurried to rake up any droppings as quickly as possible, out of the foot-traffic of the flow of servants carrying as mismatched a collection of luggage, furniture, decor and miscellany as ever came out of an estate sale. Kregorim's wagon remained mostly ignored, though the stair-steps remained down. ​
On the main staircase, Adallinda and Pippa made their way downward, the 'lady' scowling at the lines of servants passing her in both directions and flowing around her too-wide dress as smoothly as possible. Pippa guided her charge to frequent rest stops on the half-landings, sparing a moment here and there to nod back at the silent looks of gratitude from the luggage-bearing people. ​
“You're certain that my greedy brother and cousin have both gone for the chambers adjacent to my father's, Pippa?” Adallida demanded. ​
Her servant nodded once, then offered her hand to help steer the young lady back into the flow of foot-traffic. “Of course, my lady, “ she answered. “They both wish for the honor of being physically closest to your father's chosen quarters, though your other cousin and sister have likely out-raced them..." ​
On the first-floor view, from the camera opposite the service staircase and now pointing toward the lobby, I just caught a glimpse of Bhiocasaid shepherding Zoti into the second 'double unit' on the first floor, Yera and Totra actually holding the somnambulent Zoti while Bhiocasaid held off Nehdud and Haruinn as they protested the two ladies staking their claim ahead of the 'more worthy young lords' of the family. ​
“We're not sharing quarters with you beasts, and that's simply that!” she shouted at them. “If you want your own choice of suitable quarters, you'd better get down to the ground-floor and claim one before Adallinda does!” ​
The boys blinked at her, then looked at each other. Nehdud spun on his heel and raced back to the cliff-face lounge area, shoving his way through the flow of servants. I winced as I watched him making half-hearted goo-goo eyes and kissy-faces at whichever of them had obviously female shapes under their travel-rags. The female servants burdened with effects, even boxes the size of filled shopping bags that couldn't possibly require two people to hold, found themselves getting extra help to disguise both women's use of the item in question as a makeshift shield against his efforts. However slowly he was moving, though, he still made faster progress than Haruinn could possibly manage. ​
Adallinda's voice rang out from below, shrieking in triumph. Through the final view-window, Kregorim and I observed as she managed to slap her hand on the not-glass biometric scanner next to the door to the lower double-unit, Pippa now holding the sweating lady up and maneuvering her through the door, a line of six servants carrying baggage behind them. ​
Nehdud pushed through the line of servants to stand in front of the handrail, slamming his fist on the stone with one hand and snarling. Then he turned to look at Haruinn, noting his near-complete lack of movement, and his rage turned to a grin. He waved at his rival for the remaining double-suite, then resumed his efforts to force his way through the flows of servants. ​
Haruinn clenched his fists, until Midmolk pointed at the 'service stairway' just next to the now-claimed double-unit. “Their position matches something similar on the door below, master,” he pointed out. ​
Haruinn nodded, clanking his way to them at best possible speed, Midmolk following with the tower-shield. The Lignignory male slapped his hand on the palm-scanner; I granted him temporary access, mostly because I wanted to see if he could possibly beat that smarmy Nehdud if he had a clearer path. The young man succeeded in surprising me by gesturing at Midmolk, who handed him the tower-shield. He proceeded to ride it down the two half-flights of stairs like a sled, scraping the heck out of the finish and arriving at the ground-floor before Nehdud made it all the way through the lobby. ​
Haruinn pushed himself to his apparent limit, huffing and red-faced, as he quick-marched with all of that extra metal on his front to reach the palm-scanner and slap his hand on it. ​
Just as Nehdud threw open the door from the ground-floor lobby to see him do it. ​
The knife-burdened man strode into his doorway while Nehdud sank to his knees with a frustrated scream. ​
/[Previous/] ​
/[First/] ​
[/[Next/]]

I've been taking 18mg concerta for a while now. It really dries my mouth and it's a struggle to maintain myself hydrated. Anyway, for some time now I've been experiencing a lot of pain in the jaw, my mouth is always dry and it hurts.
I went to the doctor and got an ultrasound. I have a salivary gland stone. It's big so they will extract it. It's next Friday.
Today I take my meds, and now the dry mouth is unbearable in the sense that it hurts to exist. Nothing helps me produce saliva. I drink and drink water but still my mouth is dry as a desert.
I was reading about salivary gland stones and it said that they may be caused by medications that dry the mouth. At the beginning it wasn't so terrible but the mouth dryness has exponentially growth each time I take concerta.
Has this happened to anyone else? I'm curious if concerta has caused this or its just a coincidence.

https://youtu.be/yBJLUIK1MK8?si=O2UpiJQk9yYsEra1 (Here is one of the completed bike lanes)
Hey there! Just three months ago, the Ethiopian government rolled out this awesome initiative to install bike lanes all over Addis Ababa's sidewalks, jazzing up the city with a splash of green transportation. It's like the whole place is getting a facelift with this massive construction buzz.
Amidst this transformation, my cousin and I are gearing up to dive into the e-scooter scene—we're talking manufacturing and renting them out. Imagine this: e-scooters are virtually unknown here. A friend brought one from abroad, and cruising down the street, he looked like he'd landed from another planet! Everyone was fixated, dying to know where he got it. We see a massive opportunity here; e-scooters could totally reshape daily commutes in Ethiopia, and we're ready to be at the forefront!
Look at Dodai, an electric motorcycle startup right here in Ethiopia—they've just scooped up a hefty $7 million from Japanese VC Nissay Capital in Series A funding. That's pretty inspiring, right? It shows there's a real appetite for electric transport ventures here. Ethiopia's huge, about half the size of Europe, and it's got it all—from deserts to war zones to chic urban areas. Sadly, it's often misjudged by outsiders as just a war-torn, poor country, but that's just scratching the surface. It's like saying Ukraine's struggles overshadow Germany's prosperity—just doesn't sum up the whole picture.
We've got an e-scooter prototype designed in Fusion 360, crafted from 2mm sheet metal, and we've partnered with a local workshop to kick off production without breaking the bank. But we're not just here to build; we're scouting for e-scooter veterans who crave a new adventure, keen to bring their expertise to something groundbreaking. Also, I've heard rumors about e-scooters being discarded in Europe—true? If so, we'd love to repurpose parts like motors or other components we can't yet produce locally. Does this spark an interest? Think you can jump on board and help turn this vision into reality?
I've lined up some images that showcase everything I've described. Let's make this happen!

Boykissers are extremely weak specimens with the average length of 15cm, and only weighing from 50 to 80 grams.
They are barely stronger than that of a Tiger Prawn or Two-spotted Field crickets(Gryllus bimaculatus).
Astoundingly weak that even an adult was sometimes hunted by: Chinese Mantis(Tenodera sinensis), European Mantis(Mantis religiosa), Cane Huntsman Spider(Heteropoda venatoria), Greater Arid-Land Katydid(Neobarritia spinosa), Giant Asian Mantis(Hierodula patellifera), Asian Giant Hornet(Vespa mandarina) and even Giant orb weavers(Nephila pilipes).
Their vocalizations consists a very annoying, femboyish: "Ohh you like kissing boys you are a homosexual boy kisser"/"Ohh you like kissing girls you are a heterosexual girl kisser". Variations do exist; But what all they have in common as they are reported to be much more annoying than Asian Koels at midnight times.
Their diet is similar to that of a rat, eats what they sees in front of them. They don't require that much of food and mainly scavangers. They don't even have the capacity to hunt down a two-spotted field cricket, so they hunt slow and small targets such as: larva and grubs, earthworms and pillbugs. But hunting rarely occurs, often observed to eat trash or leaf litters, fallen fruits.
It's intelligence is lower that of reptiles; for example, leopard geckos and anoles. And their maxinum speed is about recorded to be 0.7 to 3km/h.
To fix that, they have specifically evolved into one thing: High reproductive rate. They are extremely prolific, able to make another generation in a matter of 14 days. Their litter size is from 15 to 20 individuals.
Baby boykissers, weighs as much as 0.5 - 1.2 grams; where as Juvenile boykissers weighs around 8 - 20 grams.
So that's make them very vulnerable to insects, and are favorite foods of Dragonflies,
Predatory Crickets,
Ants,
Cockroaches,
Robber flies,
even Antlions(Myrmeleontidae species.) Their offspring mortality rate is around 85%.
Sometimes, something like Thrushes and Starlings, Bullfrogs, Centipedes, Whipscorpions or Vinegaroons(Uropygi), True Scorpions, Tokay geckos, and even a Tarantula could even destroy an entire family of boykissers without significant effort.
Their prominent femboyish voice would instantly enrage almost everything; making them very vulnerable to predation. In the ecosystem, they don't serve a purpose; they can't pollinate or fertilize the soil,
their only purpose is to be bodied by almost everything and provide food for the ecosystem. Boykissers are primary/rarely secondary producers, often placed below that of rabbits as you commonly see in a food chain diagram. They are often surplus killed as some humans and predators hunts the for sport/lashing out.
As a result, Baby and Juvenile boykissers are often commonly used in live feed for predatory insects such as mantis and antlions, and small reptiles such as anoles; Adult boykissers are commonly live fed to Chickens, Monitor Lizards including komodo dragons, Ducks, House cats, Dogs, Mustelids.
They are often bred in suppliers.
In fishing, Baby boykissers can be used to fish River prawns and Crayfish; where as juvenile boykissers suits medium fish like Tilapias and adult boykissers fish baits larger fishs such as Salmon, Tuna, Sailfish, even Groupers.
There are absolutely no law regulations towards boykissers, so they could be ground up in shredder and mix it in livestock feed, fish chums, Boiled alive to make more digestible treats; or even beaten up by the packagers while shipping from frustration.
For Boykissers, They can be sold in a 100 individuals for 3 euro(100 TWD).
Due their prolific efficiency to make offsprings, there are companies which can produce 1 billion boykissers per year. they are lucrative businesses in martial arts for replaceable sandbags, stress relievers, pet stores and fishing stores.
Children usually play them like soccer or beating them up, and not punished by teachers because no one wants to protect them.
You cannot be arrested, no matter how you torment them and caught on live camera, as Animal Welfare Organizations don't consider them as sentinent creatures.
Domain:Eukaryota Kingdom:Animalia Phylum:Chordata Class:Mammalia Grandorder:Ferungulata Mirorder:Ferae Order:Carnivora Suborder:Feliformia Family:Shittidae Subfamily:Shittinae Genus:Shit Species:S. fuckus

 Binominal Name *Shit fuckus* (Huang, 2024) 

Boykissers have bone density of average of 0.6 to 0.7g/cm², makes them very prone to fracture and breaking. Adapted a bipedal stance, the weight bearing ability in legs can reach 0.85g/cm². Compared to humans who had 1.8 to 1.9g/cm²; boykisser is way much inferior than most animals in bone strength. From a live hydraulic press experiment, it only takes 8 kilograms force; or 72 joules/meter(72 newtons) to pulverize every single bone in adult boykissers. for single bone, and it would take 0.5 - 3kgf or 4.9 to 29 Joule/meter(4.9 - 29N) to pulverize the entire femur of boykissers. Their muscle tissue are quite weak; with the strongest individual in the sample tested lifting strength with whole body don't generally exceed 12 grams, with average of them at 65 grams never exceeded 5 grams.
Lifting strength never exceed 12 grams with whole body with bones 3x weaker than average human. They have one of the lowest size to strength ratio, no claws and have uneffective teeth. 0.8 - 1.5N(0.1 to 0.2psi), 30x weaker than that of the horned frog in bite.
IQ is lower than reptiles such as geckos, and comparable to that of a severe/profound child or a koala. Skin is about 5 micrometers thick and could be punctured by even hit by an european robin.
Boykisser vs Various critters in odds:
Let's start!
Boykisser's odds:
Stentor coeruleus - 1.1 micrograms, 0.5 - 2mm long Odds: 100% No Difficulty
Caenorhabditis elegans - 1 microgram, 1mm long Odds: 100% No Difficulty
Dust mite - 3 to 6 micrograms, 0.2 - 0.3 mm long Odds: 97% Very Low difficulty
Persimilis(Predatory mite) - 5 to 13 micrograms, 0.3 to 0.5mm long Odds: 95% Low difficulty
Booklice - 27 micrograms, 1 to 2mm long Odds: 90% Low Difficulty
Pseudoscorpion - 650 to 800 micrograms, 5 - 8mm long Odds: 85% Medium difficulty(Might get pinched and get slightly venomed)
Cat flea- 1 milligrams, 2mm long Odds: 82% Medium difficulty(Might suffer from allergies)
Red wood ant worker(Formica rufa) 6 to 8 milligrams - 1 to 1.2cm long Odds: 75% Medium-High difficulty(Might get blinded by spitting formic acid/envenomed)
Fall Cicada(Meimuna opalifera) - 6 grams, 4 - 4.8cm Odds: 72% Medium-High difficulty(Technically they do not fight back, but boykisser would suffer from ruptured eardrums.)
Desert Locust - 2 gram, 7- 8cm Odds: 64% High difficulty(They might be harmless to humans, but can tear through boykisser's skin)
American Cockroach - 0.6 - 0.8 grams, 3 to 5cm long Odds: 58% Very High Difficulty(They can bite. and it hurted.)
Field Cricket(Gryllus bimaculatus) 0.8 to 2 gram, 3.1 to 5cm long Odds: 50/50
Fire ant - 0.8 to 2 milligrams, 2 to 8mm Odds: 40%(Boykissers lose at this point, the stinger of fire ant is much more potent)
House Mouse - 12 to 30 grams, 7.5 to 10cm long Odds: 32%(Somewhat of a chance)
Green Darner Dragonfly - 1 to 1.2 grams, 6 - 8cm long Odds: 15%
Chinese Mantis(Tenodera sinensis) - 6 to 14 grams, 10 to 15cm Odds: 4%
Eurasian Tree Sparrow - 20 to 24 grams 12.5 to 14 cm long Odds: No chances whatsover
European wasp - 1 to 1.2cm, 0.1 - 0.15 grams Odds: No chances whatsoever
Female, Giant orb weaver(Nephila pilipes) - 12 - 15cm legspan, 3 to 4 grams Odds: No chances whatsoever
Solifuge/Camel Spider - 30 to 56 grams, 12 to 15cm legspan Odds: Irrelevant
Brown Rat - 200 to 500 grams, 20 to 40cm length incl tail Odds: Irrelevant
Japanese Rhinceros Beetle - 17 to 30 grams, 5 to 8 cm long Odds: Irrelevant
Emperor Scorpion - 30 to 50 grams, 15 - 20cm Odds: Never
Asian Giant Hornet - 15 to 30 grams, 5 to 8cm Odds: Never
Eurasian Blue Tit - 14 - 18 grams, 11 - 12cm Odds: Never
Giraffe Stag Beetle - 11 to 12cm, 50 - 60 grams Odds: Never
Bearded Dragon - 24 to 40cm, 280 - 400 grams Odds: Go fuck yourself.
Hercules beetle - 8 to 14cm, 50 - 85 grams Odds: Go fuck yourself.
Goliath Birdeater - 28 to 30cm leg span, 150 - 175 grams Odds: Go fuck yourself.
Great Tit - 14 to 16cm, 14 - 22 grams Odds: Go fuck yourself.
Amazonian Giant Centipede - 30cm, 400 grams Odds: Don't think about it.
Peacock Mantis Shrimp - up to 46 cm long, 450 to 600 grams Odds: Whoever think this boy kissing creature wins should go eat shit.

--⧼ BEGIN Broadcast Message ⧽--
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Priority Level: Urgent
:: From ::
Center Arm of the Emperor, Planet Laran
:: To ::
All Survivors of Fellow Royal Cast Broods
:: Message ::
The Emperor has graciously permitted the use of his Excellency's summer home on Planet Laran, located in the Empire's Center Arm, as a temporary refuge during the unprecedented violent Terran offences against His Holiness and the holiness of the Omni-brood of Ix.
:: Attachments ::
Coordinates and Flight Key
:: Royal Cryptographic Signature ::
Lord La'Ix, The Emperor's Right-Center Arm
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
--⧼ END Broadcast Message ⧽--

earlier

"CURSE THEM! The great houses are going to have my bloody head for this! There is no way this should've happened and under my command too! The Golden Emperor's own exotic holiday world has gone to ash and the only one to blame is going to be me. Well it was basically my watch anyways. Curse. Them. All"
Those were the only legible sounds one could hear among the frantic stamping of one particular Ixian lord as he hurried away through the underbrush of the royal reserve just outside the centre palace. The same Ixian lord that, only hours earlier, was delighting in his typical cooked boar while enjoying his evening's entertainment of a young Terran girl running for her life from a loose Laran tiger. Something about the way those bipeds run always makes him laugh. Some similarly caste Ixian would call this form of entertainment childish, lowbrow, and immature. He would tend to agree. But sometimes he just wanted cheap slapstick humour. The day to day life of the royal caste tends to get dull with all the fine arts an Ixian of his caste is meant to enjoy.
"How did it all go to shit!?! I was always attentive, and there hasn't been an uprising since those terrans were tamed for the palace. I mean we mostly neuter the problematic ones anyways, so why all the sudden aggression?", he shouted in agitation at the emptiness in front of him.
Speeding through the royal garden which in actuality is a repurposed Savannah of the island the palace is on. The Ixian was a beast of speed. Perfectly honed and trained over decades, and genetically maintained over eons, he always proudly held that he was the fasted in his brood of 16. Making a name for himself among the other broodkin for being the most genetically suited for the rank of high general (not that there was any need for generals, there hasn't been need for war in so long). Of course the Ixians always pride themselves in having no excess potential, and adapting your environment to suit your biology, but it never hurts to have perfect biology. That's the true pride of an Ixian.
That innate need to change the universe rather than changing themselves is what led to their vast interstellar empire. One that reached from constellation to constellation and then eventually to the arms of entire galaxies, terraforming worlds to the same environment they were already adapted to. Since forcing nature into one's bidding was the most sacred duty of any that shared a lick of Ix biology.
Which was why the Ix was confident in themselves. This Ixian in particular surely felt surprised, but mainly he was only moderately upset at the sudden change of situation, from being comfortable in the royal dining hall to sudden exercise.
"Everything can be changed back. Everything can be changed back." It repeated the mantra to itself. As it began to relax and turn its snarled sharp mouth into a toothy grin.
"Yes, there is nothing to worry about at all. Then let's make a game plan. Just need to make it to the space port at the harbour. Grab a ride out and find someone else to take the fall. That old royal butler is as ancient as the dirt of the broodworld. Hell, he probably was there when it vanished in the shadow of the holy empire's long past." chuckling to himself at the quite witty remark, but saddened that no one else was there to hear it.
Should be realistic enough for the others to believe. But first things first, I need to reach the harbour-master. It thought while its dense muscles powered the beastly lizard-like form on its journey, as it bound in the direction of its destination at top speed on all fours.
The blood red sun was already kissing the horizon by the time the Ixian went to nearly collapse under exhaustion of the extended sprint. He hasn't ran this far and fast than when he a young broodling that won competitions and competitions in the royal sports. I think I might have overdid it. He thought while massaging the oncoming threat of a sneaky cramp in his hind leg.
The Ixian were well known for speed. But their stamina was another thing. There bodies simply didn't have the evolved features for long distance travel. There was never truly any need in the past, as their very steady and controlled climate and sparsely diverse ecosystem on Ix never truly required much challenge.
It turned its panting head to face the way it came, gazing proudly at the great distance it made in such a short while.
But something was off by that view. Something different to what he was expecting. The view itself was mostly fine. Well, as fine as a smoking mark in the distance, presumably from the summer palace being engulfed in flame and spitting great plumes of black smoke. But no, something about this view chilled him to this spine. Craning his neck from his vantage point he could swear there was a small speck in the distance.
What on great Ix is that?
All of a sudden realisation hit like a rock on a peaceful pond. Something was following him. Something unknown and cold was making its way to his location. He was certain it wasn't any of his guards, all guards permitted to serve under the royal summer home were Ixian of course. Physically bred for their strength and speed, and placed into roles of importance like protecting the higher caste such as himself. (Whereas this day being the only exception). It did look like he was the only Ixian that actually made it out of the palace so far. Ixians are able to cover short distances in phenomenal speed, akin to a scaly 4 legged beast of the hunt.
No this was something else.
Feeling a very small panic build up inside, but veiling that cold, unwanted terror as impatience at how far he still needs to travel yet. Lord La'Ix flexed his anterior legs and sped on leaving behind a red-yellow cloud of dust in his wake.
He frowned. Feeling strange at a never before felt sensation. Like something in the back of his perfectly designed brain was screaming a silent, but terrifyingly familiar warning.
"Ix itself is an ancient world. Temperate in climate, while abundant in vegetation and small game. It is unknown how the Ixian was formed on paradise.
The old priest can drum into your heads that I'Ix made us into being by indenting his form in the sand of the first beach and filling the shape with his life. Moulding us into being.
The heretic would counter and say we evolved from a previous species akin to ourselves over the course of untold lengths of time.
The philosopher would suggest that only on paradise would the sentient universe fill in the space for the perfect beings to enjoy the fruits of existence.
Lastly, even the lowest caste Ixian would point and laugh at the rest and say 'why talk about antiquity, when we can make more paradise to fill the heavens'."
-A popular Ixian parable
Lord La'Ix bolted up all of a sudden from his resting spot. Heart suddenly beating frantically. The stars had barely enough time to shift positions when last rested his weary body, only a couple hours must have passed since dusk fell and the world plunged into night.
The silence of the Savannah made sound from afar travel better. Aside from the quiet rustling of the wind he wasn't so sure what he heard. Assuming his bored ears were playing tricks on him.
Calming down, curling up on the flat cool rock he found he started to drift to the shadowless lands where all Ixian go when they dream...
Drums, no, not drums. Some sort of mechanical tool? Not that I ever heard of a tool that just beat the ground senseless. A strange beating sound could be heard, pounding into the ground. As he stayed frozen and very awake, he could have sworn it was getting louder. Closer.
CRACK. SNAP. CRACK.
Suddenly the entire valley echoed the sounds of a few broken sticks.
La'Ix jumped up, whirling around, and came to face something approaching fast that could only be described as a cold predator, not that there were any predators on the homeworld's recorded history. But every cell in his aching body reacted the same. DANGER, DANGER, RUN, RUN.
The silver light of the planet's 3 moons barely lit the valley but what that light bounced off of was a figure in motion. Front Legs pumping up and down, nostrils flaring, eyes too close together, and pupils so large it was like staring at darkness itself.
Hold on there are only 2 legs right? Sudden familiarity hit him hard, memories of last night's entertainment stained his mind. In the name of Ix is that a Terran?!?
La'Ix didn't realise it then, but it was looking at a Terran, despite the Terrans characteristics looking different to the standard slave he was used to seeing. The pumping body of the runner was made for such long distances. Sweat acting as a cooling mechanism, making the man glisten in the harsh moonlight, the enlarged nostrils taking in all the air the body needs for this type of strenuous activity. And the enlarged pupils, made for adjusting to low light environments.
Down on the plains of the Savannah were two creatures. One a perfect evolutionary miracle, practically evolution's first try gone right, Perfectly made for its environment and was never truly exposed to varying climates and environments. And the other, having crawled through the primordial ooze, and struggled and fought its way through dangers, diseases, and competition on its own horrifying world. Where deadly heat in deserts can dry out any living thing, and such freezing poles that can turn anything that enters it in pure ice.
The man's lean and sweat-slicken form was steadily making its way towards the frozen statue of La'Ix. Just as he got within 50 paces did La'Ix sprint away scattering pebbles in its path the echoes of which bounced back from the valley's sharp walls. Undeterred, the chaser kept steadily running. Jaws grit. Eyes locked on afar.
And afar was its prey. Sprinting away.
HOW IN IX'S NAME DID THAT THING KNOW WHERE I AM? The La'Ix in a fit of sudden excitement mixed with a heavy dose of panic, began its high octane sprint from the sudden looming threat of being found. Hind Legs propelling the creature's body forward, while its front arms, which were historically also for four legged locomotion, pulled the terrain closer with each stride. Increasing its momentum until it reached max speed.
"Broodling La'Ix!" said a stern but educated voice.
"Huh? Oh! Yessir!" a young Ix jumped to attention still thinking about more enjoyable things specifically outside of the classroom walls.
"Well? Can you please answer my question or will you make your other broodkin wait until Ix falls to ash first", the tutor said expectantly, prompting several muffles giggles in the room.
"Sorry sir. What makes the Ixian race its place in eternity is the attention we put in perfection. After our home-world of Ix's climate and terrain began to change, the leaders from antiquity decreed we carry on the spirit of the home-world in maintaining a consistent biological and genetic profile that will always be suited to Ix's surface. As we change worlds to be more like Ix, we can spread the spirit of Ix to them. As such, Change is- uh, change is..."
"Change is the poison of perfection, Remaining unchanged for Ix enable us to carry its spirit to other planets in the heavens", continued the tutor. "Well you certainly paid some attention to today's lesson at the very least. But remember that final part. It's the last of the core tenants you will need to remember."
"Yessir!"
A good half night passed on the surface of the Savanna. Where a previously noble and alert Ixian who took great care in appearances and status was no longer to be seen. Instead of that proud domineering alien representative of ix was a dishevelled, dusty, ragged creature, dehydrated, hungry, and exhausted from the various sprints it forced itself to endure to stay ahead of fate's ever closing hand.
Is this the sword of Damocles that was mentioned in the ancient Terran records? Always hanging down on those who hold power and seek more? Fate's sharp blade? But why me? I was never in any real power. All I wanted out of this life was a comfortable posting with no dirt and grime from the lower worlds. Why me? Why now? Why do I-
La'Ix snapped himself out of a daze. Is he here- No, no I should be far far away from that Terran now. Maybe I can find some-
A dim glow interrupted its train of thought. Much too early to be the Sunrise on the Emperor's summer planet, and much to low to be the light from one of it's 2 moons. It was a light from a town.
"That's right!" The Ixian barely managed to rasp in between haggard breaths. Its body barely able to continue the amount of self inflicted abuse it has suddenly been put in.
A lot more hunched over than the Ixian was earlier. It made its way towards a small town it knew was in between the palace and the harbour. The emperor loved his royal rustic towns and villages. It is said that his royal emperor would sometimes tour around them marvelling at the romantic theme of a simple rustic life. Although getting a personal town full of Ixians required a lot of lower caste be forced into long and expensive work contracts as background entertainers for the king's planet, all this excessive show of wealth was partially for peackocking the emperor's reputation, and partially for his own personal enjoyment. The Emperor is almost culturally required to flaunt his royal wealth in all forms in order to keep connections with all the royal houses. An emperor that doesn't shower their supporting aides and houses with grand gifts is fated to eventually be found cold on the floor of the royal banquet due to 'suicide from accidentally ingesting poison', as was the previous emperor.
To avoid such an unfortunate passing, the Higher Royals would trade vast resources, delicacies, and even exotic slaves to court 'royal favours'. Slaves of the Terran variety especially are considered to be the most unique of gifts the empire has ever acquired.
Terrans weren't necessarily large and bulky. Fighters were assigned to the Slave Obniraks. Powerful creatures used to fill the fields on tougher worlds where mechanical services would be deemed to expensive. The growth of a Obnirak into full working adulthood is only a few cycles. Meaning mass producing a workforce is quite an easy feat.
Terrans instead would take vast cycles to mature from a childling to an average adult. Meaning growing a slave force would take vast quantities of resources, immense patience, and strict guidance from their owners as to not create faulty creatures. All of which increases the general standing on any house that manages to keep a vast amount of Terran slaves in the best quality.
Terrans weren't necessarily docile and obedient. That role was perhaps given to the oldest slave race the Ix ever controlled. The Iralisa. It was known that they were made remarkably docile due to generations upon generations of select breeding, and pruning off the 'aggressive traits' from the gene pool. However, that led to the adverse effect of physically weakening them to a point where such docility and lack of a frame to keep up with their workload led to a general lack of Ixian interest and were subsequently purified.
Terrans are notoriously independent and herd-minded in larger quantities. Similar to growing a very stubborn Terulian Rose Vine. Which only looks impressive when great care have been given. Terrans need to be given an illusion of being ever so slightly free. Which typically involves owning vast amounts of land and nature to let them roam and graze. Of course, the only ones that can accommodate grand work forces of Terrans are the larger houses with the appropriate territory for humans, as is studied in the Ixian art of Servitude.
One can only guess which species is the Emperor's favourite.
The following town should indeed have both, low caste Ixians, and possibly none of the Emperor's favourite slaves.
The Ixian approached the glowing town. As it reached closer it straightened its back, upright on its hindlegs in the royal fashion. And proclaimed. "It is I! La'Ix, royal courtier. Lend me aid imme-"
Something is off. Not a single shadow in the town, I can see lights but no movement, where is every-
After turning the corner to the center of the small town, the dustied and weary creature froze in its tracks when it saw it. A pit nearly as wide as an Ixian land cruiser and who knows how deep filled with a stench so powerful it watered his eyes. Despite the Ixian's lack of a proper sense of smell. It knew the foul fetor of death.
The crudely dug pit was nearly overflowing when he approached it. Large, smoking, smouldering pyres cast that eerie light that had drawn him in.
"H-how? Wha-What the..." he trailed off when a local species of Laran boar growled and squealed as it tore a dead Ixian limb from the mountain of corpses.
"Who could've..."
He stopped. The shock of seeing his own kind laid like broken dolls in a bleeding pit slowly faded, replaced by a numbness. The Ixian had just noticed they were of Ix. Only of Ix.
Not a single terran colour was visible in the black and spotted pit of bodies. Not a single slave body was visible.
I-Impossible...
His legs gave way, either from the strain of the entire nights run, the horror facing him, or the threat from behind. He just dropped.
Minutes passed, or hours. It was hard to tell. But the Ixian lay slumped. Body unwilling to move further. Battered flesh unwilling to be propelled by a shattered spirit.
Mind slowly spinning up again. Thoughts began whirring to life in its mind. Could the rumours actually have been true? It had read the sparse reports of odd activity from certain Ixian-controlled worlds on the outer arms of the empire. Small uprisings of unknown origin. Hardly anything of note. If it had no affect on the greater houses then it was of no real concern to Ix and its emperor.
Could this threat have made its way to the centre arm already? Impossible. But what else could have done this to us?
Something caught the Ixian's eyes. In the middle of the pit it stood. A large stake, wet with deep Ixian crimson, dripping ever so slowly. Towering over the pit like a battlefield flag was a head of an Ixian rammed onto the tip of the spike. But the particular detail that caught the Ixian's eyes was a symbol cut into the flesh of the large forehead.
Looking from the outward-in. Eight concentric rings, which proceeded to get smaller and smaller in size until it reached a dark mass at the centre of the symbol. The Ixian never forgot the symbol and the affect it had on it.
Eight concentric rings, and a centre mass. Eight rings, and a mass. Eight- Eight what? Eight planets? And a star? ...
A growing pool of cold dread rose in its guts that made it shiver despite the fair night. This dread reflected the sharp reality on its frigid surface.
This Ixian was well-bred, well-trained, and well-educated. Although anyone with a basic education would know of such a pattern.
Terra and her sisters. THEIR star system...
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
It's not possible!-
Knowing what that sound meant, the Ixian tried to whirl around, its body barely being able to heed its masters commands. Just when it was starting to move again it felt it.
Sudden sharp agony. Sudden sharp, raging agony. The Ixian looked at it's hind leg. A sharpened wooden stake was jutting out of it.
It loud out a tight lipped scream, as it grasped the pulsating wound as one does immediately after an injury. It barely had enough time to look up at its attacker when the Terran bolted forward, shortening the distance between hunter and prey from metres to mere paces. The Ixian barely had enough time to block the hand grasping the knife as the arm flew forward at the last minute with a crash.
What phenomenal force!
Using the momentum from that sprint plus the wind up of his arm. The Terran was able to impart a phenomal show of force for a creature its size. That's when La'Ix for the first time saw a human in its raw unchanged form. Great beads of sweat collecting dust on its brow, to prevent it from entering the eyes. The constant release of sweat from the countless pores on its soft fleshy skin. Constant cooling? Even the visible veins and capillaries visible from the fire light.
What a beast of endurance-
Suddenly the horizon fell before the Ixian only to reveal the inky black sky dotted with pigments from stars like a painters masterpiece. When did I look up? Then a crash and blunt force from the ground.
The Ixian had been toppled over by that ferocious exchange of force.
Barely able to get up due to the wind being knocked out of its single large lung, the searing pain in its hind leg, and the exhaustion from the chase. It was too late. The terran was already on top of it. Taking up the entire view of the sky as the terran stepped forward into its field of vision.
The sudden perspective change made a once small and frail looking slave look grander than life, grander than all the legends told to Ixian broodlings.
The punches rained down. Repeatedly. A constant bombardment of beating rained like the drops of rain before the first dew. The previous pain in its leg forgotten, to invite a new visitor in the form of blunt force trauma. So ferocious were the raw blows to its carapace that the Ixian felt the exoskeleton crack under the increasing pressure and strain.
Something cracked, another thing snapped. The amount of pain too much to comprehend. The neurons firing in its second brain just assumed it was everywhere. Its half-working eye glimpsed the fist as it came down for the nth time. Red and split knuckles, revealing pure white bone beneath—a reinforced weapon. The perfect natural offence. All the muscles moved to propel it downwards where something else cracked and split.
Is this where I die?
As if understanding its fate the Ixian's form slumped over. Its body barely holding onto the natural exoskeleton shielding that covered its chest and facial area. Fluids leaking from the cracks that went too deep, and who knows how many internal ribs are shattered.
Its body, knowing that that more movement will cause more injuries, and further stimuli would confuse it further. It simply shut down.
The last moments it had as it fell backwards on its side. Was a small running figure. Hand clutching wooden spears. But the truly petrifying sight was behind it. A vast shadow flickering from the light of the lit pyres from the hunter in front of it. A shadow cast so large, jagged, and menacing it appeared to swallow the town whole.
And into a hole did the Ixian fall. A vacuum with no sensation or thought. Just darkness.
How... did we never notice such a... monster... in their... shadow...
All Ixians were taught about 'violence' and 'conflict' at an early age. As a sort of rite of passage that any of them would go through as they survive their early broodling days. As Ix have no natural predators, they had begun to instil a serving of some necessary conflict to keep their generations fresh and somewhat physically strong. As a precaution, only rudimentary forms of civil sports, races, shows of strength and courage were ever really explored. But always in a controlled and calm settings, as there would never be any true need for actual conflict.
As there was always a need to maintain ones own environment. The need never arose for the development of fighting techniques and schools of training. That was one of the best parts of being an Ix that many thought. Having supreme control over the worlds you inhabit means setting gravity, atmospheric pressure, humidity, and temperatures to the perfect levels for comfort replaced any need for biological change. Why grow when you can keep everything the same way, how you like it.
They were a vast empire. An empire of statues.
-Excerpt from the history of extra-solarian species, Author unknown
It awoke to a burning radiating heat from in front. The large sun was already starting to set on the horizon when it awoke. Had a whole day passed? Or two?
Trying to block the setting sun from its eyes it couldn't. "What?...", barely made out in a whisper.
I'm tied up.
And indeed the Ixian was right. Tied up next to a small brook, with a scorching fire in front of it. The monster nowhere to be seen.
"No good... it's too tight", it grunted in an attempt to escape its bindings.
Going slack in defeat it avoided any additional movement. Not having the energy to spare to move. It was lucky to have always been lazy at shedding its carapace - a frequent nag from its broodmother - might just have become its salvation in this case.
Thank Ix.
So there it stayed.
Hours passed. The Sun fully set and the stars awake in this dark world barely lit up the wildlands. Only the prisoner in this cone of firelight existed out here.
A rustling up ahead caught the prisoner's attention disturbing the eerily still silence of the Savannah night. And ungodly horror of a squeal ruptured the air invoking a deep visceral terror within the bound prisoner. Something. Something close but just outside the firelight was eyeing it, glinting from beyond the light. Those dark predatory eyes stabbed the prisoner with a sudden coldness. All while the squealing suddenly halted. SNAP. SQUELCH.
Now it came, emerging into the light. A beast. Holding a knife in one bloodied hand, dripping on the dirt. And dragging by the leg, a massive adult Laran boar grotesquely smearing thick blood still warm from the cut in the neck on the dirt.
The prisoner watched, barely moving, barely breathing. Frozen with the horror in front of it as the bloodied carcass was skinned; fur sliced away with harsh, scraping sounds with the crude knife. Spurting remaining blood all over the site.
The pink naked flesh then washed in the brook, leaving a distinct smell of oxidised blood in the air, before being skewered and roasted over the roaring flames. Fat popping violently in the heat.
In this gruesome display, the beast revealed not just a fate for the boar, but a dark hint of what might come. The realisation struck deep—this could be more than just a demonstration; it was a terrifying preview of its own potential end.
It passed out again.
Only to be awoken by the haunting echoes of a wild, desperate squeal that once thrummed through the savannah's eerie silence. Dare it open its eyes?
After a great heavy effort -utilizing its every last drop of courage- one eye cracked open. And what it saw. Made it regret ever having done so.
Right across from it, the hunter was a grotesque silhouette against the flickering fire. Grasping a severed boar leg was a mouth viciously biting, ripping, tearing into the flesh with primal ferocity. Each bite was deliberate, each tear of sinew was a clear, calculated demonstration of supreme savagery. Its jaw muscles bulged with the force of a bite.
All the while, the eyes—deep, abyssal pits—fixed intently on the prisoner. Deepest black pits stared back at it. Watching. Observing. Calculating, with a dark intelligence. it was calculating. It was relishing the terror it inspired and the control it exerted. Or planning its next meal.
The sounds of ripping flesh filled the thick, blood-soaked air. Deep into the night. Deep into this never-ending nightmare.
Never once did the prisoner move. Not an iota. Frozen in abject horror.
The night passed quietly. After the feast the human had, or the desecration of life that the prisoner saw, whichever way you look at it. The human nodded off to sleep. Content in the success of his mission. But the tied up creature had no such rest. Sending silent pleas to the stars that it might be saved. But not daring to make a sound, less it awaken that sleeping horror. Or was it sleeping? Dear Ix, it might be watching me. Feigning sleep to keep an eye on its meal. Dear Ix I'm next...
All through the night, the demons plagued its mind. Until the warmth of the morning rose, and with it the sound of an Ixian cruiser.
Elation could not be an understatement for the tired, tied, beat, and bruised thing. Craning its neck to the direction of the sound about to bellow out an Ixian warning to the demon resting next it.
"BE CAREFUL! THERE'S ONE HERE-". It stopped speaking. That previous elation it felt at a saviour arriving to rescue it from the demons grasp, fizzled out like a drop of water in a drought.
That all so familiar cold remained. And the dryness of despair. As pairs of dark pupils shot back at it.
On the cruiser were tall adult Terrans. Clean cut, well fed, well dressed Terrans. Four, no Six, no eight of them. All hanging onto the side of cruiser while it made its way to their location. Compared to the demon waking up beside it, these creatures were organised. A savageness neatly packaged in a uniform with a symbol. The prisoners eyes grew wide in its sunken sockets. 8 rings, and a centre mass. They must be the cause of, well all this.
Accepting fate, its head fell in part defiance, in part to avoid the stinging eyes of these others. It felt their gaze burn through—cold, cruel, calculating. There is nothing I can do any longer.
"You're finally here. What took you so long?" The runner said to his approaching comrades, "Took all night to catch up to him."
"Hey Jan, great work", the tall militant woman shot back. With a playful punch to his arm. "Guess all that cardio really paid off, didn't I tell you it would!" She let out a playful guffaw.
"Thanks Chel", replied Jan.
"Ok chop chop people, we're on a schedule. We need to reach the port ASAP remember? Come on Jan, rest up all you like, you're still on the clock."
"Aye sir." Jan shot back in a mock salute, gaining a sneer from the commandant, then a sneaky smile.
"Don't forget your trash. And make sure its breathing still."
It creaked open its eyes, seeing pairs of boots moving towards it and standing in front. In silence. Then all of a sudden, felt pairs and pairs of hands pull and tug. and lift it up The thing let out a pathetic silent sob. While it was loaded in the back of the cruiser, face up. Staring at eyes, piercing black dots peering back. It could never understand what was being felt by those eyes and those faces.
Ixians wear their emotions on their carapace; spots and stripes would slowly appear in certain parts, representing emotions and feeling that their bodies felt in a general sense. But the most private thoughts were of course, still kept private.
But this. This was just too foreign. The eyes never stopped. Even in the swaying movement of the cruiser the pupils never broke contact. Those eyes. As if it was peering into it, envelops your entire mind. There was no way to hide, even hiding in his inner self would do no good. Those eyes. Those predator eyes can find me anywhere I try to escape to. Inside and out.
Some times passes.
"You know. I lost good friends to the royal caste. Especially to this one's brood clan or whatever they like to call it." One of them was looking right at it when they said it. It turned its eyes over to the source. A short one, with a slave scar on the neck said it. A scar that shot through his memories. A scar inflicted to property owned by, his brood. This one is dangerous..., it thought.
Jan, and the others didn't look but felt it. The cold darkness in that tone made it clear what it intended to do.
The female militant, Chel, I think her name was. Slowly reached to the side arm on her holster. Sensing the oncoming problem.
"You still understand me don't you? I've had to watch good people die. Damn good people." The scarred one one stood, grabbing the upper rail of the cruiser to steady themselves. "I hear that even if you get ill, you become the entertainment for the night. What was it now?" She paused for a brief second. "Oh I remember".
"Stil" Chel said slowly. "Cool it". Hand still on the butt of the sidearm.
Not hearing or not wanting to reply. Stil continued. "Torn apart by those raptor pets. Hands or feet cut off as souvenirs for those fucked-up parties and those fucked-up guests. Oh yea, and the 'toy play' or whatever they call it. Can't have Ken and Barbie fight back now, can we?"
Stil leaned closer to the now cowering, shaking thing, "I wonder which one was your favourite." The words cut through La'Ix like an icicle. This was the first time these demons actually spoke to it directly. And it didn't like it. It could sense the venom from the words.
"Stil..." Chel slowly got up, hand still at the ready. "I said cool it." The line had a steely warning to it. Chel wouldn't risk the mission. Even if it meant doing what must be done.
Agonizing seconds passed. The cowering, shaking thing seemed to grow whiter and whiter by the second, It's spots clearly showing what it felt. Staring up, Not willing to move but being unable to hide. It felt the absolute crushing weight of the present. Grinding it down to a paste.
Everyone stayed still. The two militants didn't move. The rest didn't seem to even have paid attention to the converstation, still looked away.
Longer passed.
Stil smiled, "Oh come on Chel, you know I wouldn't do anything to our friend here? You know I was just playing around." Stil laughed. Chel didn't react.
Stil immediately crouched, faced the shaking prisoner inches apart eye to eye, and in a whisper said "Right friend?"
She wants me to reply? Dear Ix I can't even think with those eyes in front of me What do I do?! What do I say?!
"Right. Friend?" Stil repeated slower and colder. Like the blade of a surgeon hovering over skin, ready to plunge.
The gears of its Ixian brain grinded to a screeching halt. In utter desperation to find a reply it simply gave up. Instead, it felt a warmth slowly spread. Slowly spread between its hind legs. It had released its bladder.
"BAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT IT" Stil roared in laughter. The sound of it rattling the prisoners brain with the sound. Disorienting its senses. "NOW THAT'S CLASSIC TIMING IF I'VE EVER SEEN IT!" She plopped back down face red and still laughing.
The Ixian didn't know what to do but tremble and sob silently on the cold surface of the cruiser surrounded by laughter. and the warmth of its piss. It tried to plug its ears. But the sound still came. Laughter. Laughter. Laughter. Dear Ix, what are these demons... where are they taking me? To hell?...
The cruiser kept cruising. Towards the port across the island. Trailing laughter behind. Or to the sobbing wreck of a thing, demonic cackling.
The scent of familiarity wafted into the senses of the prisoner as the cruiser started to slow. The smell of the salt, the chirping of familiar aviaries. Sound of the crash of sea. The port.
Braving a sentence for the first time in for what seems eternity. It let out a question "...w..w..where ... why... are... ... we ...h... here?" It managed to say shakily, eyes downcast.
As if in response, a sharp shove greeted it from the back and a hard hit on the ground was as much of an answer it was getting.
"Move it", Jan said gruffly.
They walked. the ixian still bound but free to walk in the middle of the group of humans. Towards a destination still not known. The walk twisted, and turned, and twisted again. One thing struck out to the prisoner. It was too clean, especially for what it was expecting, it's last experience being in the previous blood-soaked town laden with bodies and carrion eaters.
The port town was completely silent, free from the regular hustle and bustle it usually had even when the emperor was not present. And superbly clean. Not a single piece of dirt to be seen. Not a single Ixian either. Where did everyone go? Did they make it out somehow when these invaders came?
In the background, the surf broke relentlessly.
Piercing eyes caught the prisoners glance, as it wandered curiously around the town. Realising its mistake La'Ix tried to look away but the burning gaze gripped his own.
As if reading its soul. The human answered the hidden question bubbling up in La'Ix. "You should've seen them your royal majesty". The one called Stil said while bending in mocking courtesy.
The surf pounded the shore even more loudly now.
"They don't swim well. Especially the young ones. They dropped like stones. Turning all white by the time they stopped moving."
Louder now. The sea roared.
Nothing came. Not a thought in La'Ix's mind. Its mind struggled to comprehend the depth of what was said by Stil, the scarred human.
The waves boomed louder now. Louder than the sun, echoing louder than the screams of all the Ixians that must have perished.
It saw the lips of the standing-devil in front of it. But all the came from its blood red lips were obscured by the sound of the pounding of the waves. The echoes of drowned kin, thudding and slapping against the shore, merged with the relentless surf in La'Ix's mind.
This is for our sins.
Wave after wave, the relentless surge continued, each one a haunting reminder of the souls lost to the sea, each crash a ghostly thud of bodies hitting the shore.
Very slowly did some exhausted neuron in the Ixian's head come to a conclusion as to how these creatures in front of it can be so relentless, so cruel, and so evil. When pushed to beyond its breaking point, did their true carnivorous instincts rear their ugly head.
Oh dear Ix. What sort of environment could breed such demons?
La'Ix didn't remember what happened next. The memories feel like a distant dream now as he sits watching the port sky now.
The aching brand on his forehead of the 8 ringed system, pulsed in pain—a departing gift from his newly made friends, stung from the salty sea air.
He barely recalls the staggered walk from the empty inter-arm transmission office and the inputting of his biometric royal seal. He barely even remembers the message that was sent under his name and signature
And even less does he remember what he heard what will happen next.
All alone now, he stares at the sky of the empty port town. As he watches more royal ships enter the atmosphere.
He gazes upward, thoughtlessly, statue-like Knowing fate will come for them all. Fate in the form of piercing black eyes and a monster so large it can fit in a shadow.
A single thought, carried its way from above the despair to the surface. Slowly. Like a bubble in a pool of tar.
What was I meant to tell the emperor again?

Grass, belonging to the Poaceae family (also known as Gramineae), is one of the most widespread and ecologically significant plant families on Earth. This family includes a vast array of species, ranging from those that make up our lawns and pastures to the staple food crops that sustain much of the world's population, such as wheat, rice, and corn. Grasses are crucial for various reasons, encompassing their unique botanical characteristics, their ecological roles, their evolutionary history, their cultivation and uses, and the challenges they face. This comprehensive overview aims to provide an in-depth understanding of these aspects.
Grasses exhibit a distinct growth habit and structural anatomy that set them apart from other plant families. The root systems of grasses are typically fibrous, forming a dense network of roots that are excellent at stabilizing soil and accessing water and nutrients from the upper soil layers. This characteristic is especially vital in preventing soil erosion and promoting soil health.
The stems of grasses, known as culms, are generally hollow and segmented by nodes. The internodes, or the spaces between these nodes, can vary in length and are crucial for species identification. The leaves of grasses are usually slender and elongated with parallel veins. They emerge from the nodes and are sheathed around the stem. At the base of the leaf, there is often a ligule, a small membranous or hairy appendage that helps in differentiating between various grass species.
The reproductive structures of grasses are also unique. Grass flowers, or florets, are typically small and inconspicuous, grouped into spikelets. These spikelets are arranged in different types of inflorescences such as spikes, racemes, or panicles. The flowers of grasses are generally adapted for wind pollination, a characteristic that is reflected in their structure, which lacks large, colorful petals. Instead, they have specialized structures that facilitate the dispersal of pollen by the wind.
Most grasses reproduce sexually through seeds. The flowers produce pollen that is carried by the wind to fertilize other plants, resulting in seed formation. Many grasses can also reproduce vegetatively through rhizomes (underground stems) or stolons (above-ground runners). This method of asexual reproduction allows grasses to spread and colonize large areas efficiently, contributing to their dominance in many ecosystems.
Grasses play an indispensable role in soil conservation. Their dense root systems are incredibly effective at binding the soil, reducing the risk of erosion caused by wind and water. This is particularly important in regions prone to desertification or where the soil has been exposed due to deforestation or agricultural activities. By stabilizing the soil, grasses help maintain soil health and prevent the loss of fertile topsoil.
In terms of climate regulation, grasslands serve as significant carbon sinks. Through the process of photosynthesis, grasses absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and store it in their biomass and soil. This carbon sequestration process helps mitigate the effects of climate change by reducing the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere. Additionally, grasslands influence local and regional climates by affecting evapotranspiration rates, which is the combined process of evaporation from the soil and transpiration from plants.
Grasslands support a remarkable diversity of life, providing habitat and food for numerous animal species, including insects, birds, and mammals. The structure of grassland ecosystems supports a variety of plant species, creating a complex web of interactions and dependencies. This biodiversity is crucial for the resilience of these ecosystems, enabling them to withstand and recover from environmental changes and disturbances.
Grasses also play a vital role in the water cycle. They help in the infiltration of rainwater into the soil, reducing runoff and promoting groundwater recharge. By slowing down water movement, grasses help prevent flooding and maintain the moisture levels in the soil, which is essential for the health of the ecosystem and for agricultural productivity.
The evolutionary history of grasses is relatively recent compared to other plant families. Grasses evolved around 66 million years ago during the late Cretaceous period. Their rise to dominance is closely linked to the cooling and drying of the Earth's climate, which favored the spread of grasslands over forests. The diversification of grasses has been driven by their ability to adapt to a wide range of environments, from tropical savannas and temperate prairies to arid steppes and alpine meadows.
In agriculture, grasses are indispensable. They include some of the world's most important food crops, such as wheat, rice, maize (corn), barley, and oats. These cereal grains provide a significant portion of the global caloric intake and are fundamental to the diets of billions of people. The cultivation of these crops has shaped human civilization and continues to be a cornerstone of global food security.
Many grass species are also cultivated as forage for livestock. Species like alfalfa, ryegrass, and clover are commonly grown for grazing, hay, and silage. These forage grasses are essential for the livestock industry, providing the necessary nutrition for animals and supporting dairy and meat production.
Beyond food and forage, grasses are being explored as sources of bioenergy. Species like switchgrass and miscanthus are considered promising candidates for biofuel production due to their high biomass yield. These grasses can be converted into biofuels, providing a renewable energy source that can help reduce our reliance on fossil fuels.
In landscaping, grasses are widely used for creating lawns, parks, golf courses, and sports fields. Turf grasses such as Kentucky bluegrass, Bermuda grass, and fescue are selected for their durability, aesthetic appeal, and ability to withstand foot traffic and mowing. These grasses play a significant role in urban and suburban environments, contributing to the aesthetic and recreational value of these areas.
Grasses are also used in erosion control and land rehabilitation. They are often planted to stabilize soil and restore degraded lands. For example, vetiver grass is used for its deep root system, which can prevent landslides and rehabilitate mining sites and other disturbed areas. By stabilizing the soil and improving its structure, grasses help restore the ecological balance and promote the recovery of degraded landscapes.
Despite their many benefits, grasses face several challenges. Some grass species can become invasive, outcompeting native species and disrupting local ecosystems. For instance, kudzu and cogongrass have spread aggressively in some regions, requiring significant management efforts to control their growth and prevent ecological damage.
Grasses are also susceptible to pests and diseases. Fungal diseases like rusts and smuts, as well as pests such as armyworms and grasshoppers, can cause significant damage to grass crops and turf. Effective pest and disease management strategies are essential to protect these valuable resources.
Climate change poses additional challenges for grassland ecosystems and agricultural practices. Shifts in temperature and precipitation patterns can affect the growth and distribution of grass species, impacting food security and ecosystem stability. Droughts, floods, and other extreme weather events can stress grasslands, reducing their productivity and resilience.
Adopting sustainable management practices is crucial for maintaining healthy grasslands and ensuring the long-term viability of grass-based agriculture. Practices such as rotational grazing, integrated pest management, conservation tillage, and the use of drought-resistant grass varieties can help mitigate the impacts of environmental stressors and promote the sustainability of grasslands.
Grasses are an indispensable component of Earth's ecosystems and human agriculture. Their diverse roles range from stabilizing soils and sequestering carbon to providing food and forage. Understanding the complexities of grass biology, ecology, and management is essential for harnessing their benefits while addressing the challenges they face in a changing world. By promoting sustainable practices and responsible stewardship, we can ensure that grasslands continue to thrive and support both natural ecosystems and human livelihoods.