My wife and I are going on another road trip soon. We often give ourselves weird challenges to keep the drive interesting. Which begets the birth of the Costco Road Trip Challenge!!
-We're only going to eat at Costco -Only foods that Costco employees physically make. -Kirkland brand packaged items not allowed. -No samples. -No continental breakfast at hotel. -You don't have to go into a Costco everyday and eat. -Eat at standard times. No one-meal-a-day or intermittent fasting. -No complaining about how unhealthy this is. It's one trip. -Expert level: only use the bathroom at Costco.

16-minute read.

pro-West party leader says they met PM Pashinyan and discussed a referendum to solidify Armenia's shift to EU

KHZMALYAN (European Party of Armenia): The referendum is our suggestion and demand. We presented it to Pashinyan and expect a response within a reasonable timeframe. We advised making a public statement soon. A referendum would also make Pashinyan's job easier by allowing the people's will to decide Armenia's direction.
REPORTER: How did Pashinyan respond?
KHZMALYAN: He suggested the meeting be held in a closed format so I can't reveal all details. We hope that our voice, our offer, our demand, was heard. If we do not receive a positive response, we will take measures by employing the same methods currently used by anti-European forces [the ongoing protests led by pro-Russian ex-regime]. We will take to the streets and demand a referendum for Eurointegration if necessary.
REPORTER: How long are you ready to wait before taking action?
KHZMALYAN: A few months. Georgia will hold parliamentary elections in October, and Moldova will hold a similar Eurointegration referendum - also in October. The U.S. will hold presidential elections in November which will be important for Armenia's future. Even if the worst scenario unfolds in all three countries, Armenia must stand firm and not take a step back. Armenia could become the leader in democracy in all of Eastern Europe if you consider the situation in Georgia, Hungary, and Slovakia [pro-Russia populist leader]. Armenia could receive an unprecedented level of assistance from Europe under those circumstances.
REPORTER: Did Pashinyan say he plans to leave CSTO?
KHZMALYAN: We did not demand specific dates but we urged him to complete all these processes this year, preferably by November.
REPORTER: Did Pashinyan agree?
KHZMALYAN: The participants of the meeting are under the impression that we were able to present convincing arguments but time will show what actions he takes. The government functions very poorly but nevertheless, they are doing something, they are taking steps.
REPORTER: On May 9, Bagrat Galstanyan gave Pashinyan 1 hour to resign but it's May 21 and he is still here. Why wasn't the opposition able to remove him?
KHZMALYAN: The 3 former presidents and their surrogate forces, backed by 30 years of power, were unable to bring forward a figurehead, a single ideology, that could win the hearts of the people. They used various political technologies, they switched between black and white robes, and they extended the 1 hour to 7 days, but none of that helped because the Armenian people hate them more than they hate Nikol Pashinyan.
REPORTER: You used to be a lot harsher on Pashinyan but something appears to have changed in your tone after your recent meeting with him. What is the reason?
KHZMALYAN: We were able to present our demands and the timelines to accomplish them. Unlike the archbishop and the former regimes surrounding him, we did not give "one hour" for Pashinyan to accept our demands; we did not make ultimatums. We believe the current government is carrying out and will carry out the will of the people to overcome the status of a Russian colony and join the ranks of free nations. We did and do see steps [taken by the government] towards this; we cannot ignore this. We saw the Strassbourg, but also Moscow. We saw the [April 5 meeting in] Brussels, but also [the recent meeting between FMs in] Almaty. We are told this is an attempt to "balance" and we understand where they are coming from, but our factions speak on behalf of over 60% of Armenians who view Russia's policies as deadly for Armenia. We expect concrete actions and we have formed a platform to continue this work; there will be petitions and other actions from us. We are ready to assist Pashinyan, who may be constrained due to ongoing negotiations, by being the public voice and saying the things he cannot say. We will continue to work, to pressure, to influence, to demand. Our meetings also continue abroad. We will press on until we reach our goal - the Eurointegration of Armenia. //
Several prominent Western-oriented political parties recently formed an alliance to promote Armenia's Eurointegration.
video,

Pashinyan appoints a ruling party member as a deputy head of the newly formed Foreign Intelligence Service - the Armenian "CIA"

After the 2020 war, Pashinyan said Armenia will need a modern intel agency to gather information and analyze foreign threats, while the NSS -- described as historically a "pro-Russian" agency by many -- will focus on internal matters.
source,

Pashinyan met the deputy head of the United States CIA to discuss bilateral, international, and regional issues

A delegation led by David Cohen is in Yerevan. Cohen also met NatSec Armen Grigoryan.
source, source,

Armenia's Investigative Committee chief hosted U.S. Deputy Assistant Secretary in the Bureau of International Narcotics and Law Enforcement Affairs

Qyaramyan and Yoder discussed bilateral cooperation, the recent retraining for Armenian agents and technical assistance, cooperation between law enforcement agencies of Armenia and the United States, anti-narcotrafficking, and the fight against gender-based violence.
Yoder also met Armenia's Interior Minister Ghazaryan to discuss the ongoing police reforms and formation of new divisions, the fight against narco-trafficking, technical assistance for rescuers, and retraining courses. Yoder emphasized effective cooperation, noting that the achievements within the framework of sectorial reforms are exceptional. The US wants to expand the agenda of cooperation.
source, source,

Armenian army officers continue to take part in NATO exercises titled Regex 2024 held in Moldova

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: The exercise is organized with the support of the NATO Joint Forces Command in Naples, Italy, and aims to train the military according to Western standards for planning and conducting exercises, crisis management, strengthening and assessing the level of interoperability of forces in a multinational environment.
We remind you that the exercise "Regex 2024" consists of several workshops during the current year. The first workshop took place between February 16 and March 1, and the second between 22 − April 26, 2024. //
source, source,

NATO and Armenia strengthen cooperation in defense education

Armenia's defense ministry representatives recently visited NATO headquarters to discuss NATO’s Defence Education Enhancement Programme (DEEP) for Armenia.
NATO: The DEEP programme is an excellent tool to support Armenian military education system reforms and strengthen the country’s cooperation with NATO.
ARMENIA: With the support of DEEP experts we implemented major changes in all levels of our educational curriculum at Military Academy, starting from cadets up to the most senior levels. It helped us to establish cooperation with many international partner institutions.
source,

Armenia is an emerging destination for UK and global investors: Armenia's Ambassador to London Business Matters

👔 Armenia is committed to building a knowledge-based, export-oriented, and inclusive economy.
👔 Armenia is diversifying its growing economy with pioneering sectors, creating ample investment opportunities.
👔 Armenia’s investment legislation grants equal treatment to foreign investors
👔 There are no restrictions on remittances and repatriation of profits, free exchange of foreign currencies and no limitations on staff recruitment
👔 The country’s favorable business climate and ‘open-door’ policy is also reflected in international reputable rankings where Armenia is ranked one of the highest in the region.
👔 Although Armenia has a relatively modest internal market, it offers different models of economic cooperation and serves as a gateway to major world markets
👔 Armenia has maintained a high level of cooperation with the EU through CEPA
👔 Armenia and UK will soon have a CEPA-like agreement
full article, source,

Turkey modernizes an Azerbaijani Su-25ML jet with guided bombs and Teber missiles

It uses KGK laser guidance for missiles and increases the reach to 110 km.
source,

Pashinyan's Chief of Staff hosted the French Ambassador to discuss defense, economy, infrastructure, and humanitarian topics

... also the upcoming events dedicated to the 100th anniversary of Charles Aznavour.
source,

Parliament Speakers of Armenia and Ukraine discuss the situation in the South Caucasus and Ukraine

source,

Q&A with ruling party MP Vahagn Alexanyan about the ongoing protests led by pro-Russian opposition

REPORTER: You continue to criticize the "holy movement"...
ALEXANYAN: The what now?
REPORTER: ... the "holy movement", by calling it a "pagan" movement. What is the ruling party's stance and do you discuss this internally?
ALEXANYAN: Of course we do, although I don't think Kocharyan's decision to name this movement "holy" is helping them. It's comical.
REPORTER: Do you have proof that Bagrat srbazan is [tied with Kocharyan]?
ALEXANYAN: Bagrat Galstanyan is surrounded by the entire political team of Robert Koharyan, he was a member of Kocharyan's 2022 protests and gave similar speeches he gives today, he received a praise from Russian propagandists, and he was named by a Russian propagandist Aram Gabrielyanov as a potential candidate for a new protest movement just a few months prior to these events, so it's beyond reasonable doubt that Bagrat Galstanyan is part of Kocharyan's team.
REPORTER: You were earlier accusing Galstanyan of being a Russian agent, and now Kocharyan's agent?
ALEXANYAN: Same thing.
REPORTER: The opposition gathered many thousands of supporters on May 9. What does the size of the crowd indicate?
ALEXANYAN: It was similar to Kocharyan's final rally before the 2021 elections. And?
REPORTER: The opposition created a video of "Pashinyan's lies" and broken promises. Will you respond?
ALEXANYAN: The clip itself is a lie and manipulation. For example, one of the supposed lies was Pashinyan's promise of an amnesty for overdue fines and penalties. You are a journalist, you tell me, was there an amnesty or not?
REPORTER: Pashinyan had also said that POWs could wait "just a few more months" and that he wouldn't "sacrifice Armenia's sovereignty" in exchange for bringing them back sooner. Why aren't they back?
ALEXANYAN: Dozens of POWs returned home in December, and efforts continue to bring back the rest. Literally 1-2 days before the POWs' return, the opposition claimed that the POWs were "forgotten" by the government. "Ոչ մի բան չեք անում:"
REPORTER: What about the Nagorno-Karabakh leadership?
ALEXANYAN: There are efforts to return them as well.
REPORTER: Why did the police form a wall to block entry to village Kirants [for nonresidents]?
ALEXANYAN: I think the NSS said they had to take action to prevent interference with the border work. From what I can tell, the protest leader himself went there yesterday and returned only 15 minutes later so there wasn't a big desire to stay there apparently.
REPORTER: They plan to hold a big rally on May 26 where they might nominate Bagrat srbazan as the PM's candidate to replace Pashinyan.
ALEXANYAN: Why not go straight for [alleged narco baron] Mihran Poghosyan [who publicly praised the protests]?
REPORTER: There appears to be a consensus around Bagrat srbazan after a meeting between several forces.
ALEXANYAN: Consensus minus one, where "minus one" is the people. Or to be more precise, "minus two", because the Constitution also prohibits Bagrat from serving as a prime minister. Congratulations on an initiative that's dead on arrival. It's absurd. They suggested replacing the Constitution to allow a dual citizen to serve as PM. Okay... To get Canadian citizenship you have to take an oath to serve the best interests of Canada. To allow dual citizens to serve as PM in Armenia we have to accept for the PM to have loyalty towards another state. The alternative is for the candidate [Bagrat] to admit that his word [oath to Canada] wasn't worth a dime. Երևի մատերը խաչ արած ա երդվել։
REPORTER: But don't you think you are manipulating because Galstanyan received Canadian citizenship just to be able to serve in the church in Canada? He didn't go there to live or conduct business.
ALEXANYAN: It doesn't matter why he went to Canada. He is a citizen of Canada and took an oath. Even religious leaders with dual citizenship cannot become prime ministers. I don't have an issue with him being a dual citizen, but it limits his office options. He still hasn't renounced his Canadian citizenship even after all these talks about a possible nomination.
REPORTER: Galstanyan said he is ready to renounce it as soon as there is a need for it.
ALEXANYAN: In other words, he seeks "guarantees" that he will be the candidate in order to renounce it?
full,source, source,

opposition churchman Bagrat Galstanyan demands the Armenian government compensate the damage done to the church during USSR and "return" the properties "legally belonging" to the church

This was said as a response to the critics of the church leadership who accused the church of turning into a political party and suggested taxing the church like a business.
BAGRAT: We have 19th-century churches that were forcefully confiscated and turned into ruins. The properties of the Armenian church must be returned to the church. The area of Moscow Cinema belongs to the church, half of the Katoghike Church was demolished and belongs to the church, and part of the items in Matenadaran were taken away from the church. Instead of threatening us with taxes, they must think about how they plan to return our properties, fully renovated and ready for service.
source,

the church is actually paying taxes but they do have some exemptions

The church paid $1 million in income taxes last year.
There are tax exemptions to import certain goods deemed for charity. They also don't pay property tax, and taxes on income generated from the sales of ceremonial accessories. The latter two are the frequent targets of church critics.
source,

Armenia's Constitutional Court has a vacant seat. Pro-Russian opposition criticizes Pashinyan's ruling party for favoring a "George Soros-linked" judge who worked for U.S. State Department.

A Serj-era judge is leaving the Constitutional Court after receiving a job offer elsewhere so one seat is vacant. It is the judiciary's turn to nominate a CC judge, so hundreds of judges recently held a meeting and voted for Judge Balayan as their candidate. Balayan's father was a CC judge during Kocharyan's tenure. He was accused in the Wikileaks report of having inappropriate deals with President Kocharyan. Pashinyan's ruling party did not vote to approve Balayan. This led to a second gathering of hundreds of judges where they voted to nominate Judge Khachaturyan as their candidate. The parliament summoned him for Q&A on Tuesday.
SPEAKER: We invite the representative of the judiciary to present their nominee for CC.
JUDICIARY REP: 267 judges voted. Judge Davit Khachaturyan, a member of the Criminal Chamber of the Court of Cassation, won the majority votes.
2000-2005: [blah blah blah]
2003-2006: Legislative Assistance Project Manager at Southern Caucasus Anti-Drug (SCAD) Program, sponsored by European Union and implemented by United Nations Development Program
2006: Program Assistant at U.S. Embassy in Armenia, Bureau for International Narcotics and Law Enforcement Affairs (INL)
2007-2013: U.S. Embassy in Armenia, U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), Legal Specialist
2014: Academy of Justice of the Republic of Armenian-Russian, Vice-Rector and Lecturer
2015-2016: Council of Europe Office in Yerevan, Program “Strengthening Health Care and Human Rights Protection in Prisons in Armenia”, Legal Expert
2016: EU project “Development and Strategic Studies”, Expert on Judiciary and Human Rights field reforms
2015-2017: EU project “ENP Progress Reports and Assessment Reports on Armenia´s Compliance with GSP+ obligations”. Expert on Rule of Law/Justice.
2013–2020: Law Faculty of Yerevan State University. Lecturer. Development and teaching of courses for the Master Program: “European Standards for the human rights protection in criminal proceedings”, and “Professional Skills of a Lawyer”
etc.
OPPOSITION MP: The ruling faction earlier chose not to confirm the appointment of Judge Davit Balayan; they obviously prefer Davit Khachaturyan. Can you explain why you didn't mention that Khachaturyan served on the board of directors and later as the president of the board at George Soros's Armenia-based Open Society Foundations? How will this record impact his work at CC?
JUDICIARY REP: I presented parts of his professional activities available on the court's public platforms. You can ask the candidate directly.
OPPOSITION MP: The Soros Foundation publicly listed him as a member so I don't understand why it's being hidden now. In your opinion, how will his work at the Soros Foundation affect his impartiality?
JUDICIARY REP: The majority of judges chose him and it's up to Parliament whether to confirm or reject.
RULING MP: Was the voting held in a closed session or can you see how each judge voted?
JUDICIARY REP: It's a closed format. My duty here is to present the candidate. [basically, leave me alone I'm just doing my job]
RULING MP: Why not make the court voting and internal discussions more transparent for the public to see so we will have fewer conspiracy theories on why one judge was preferred over the other?
JUDICIARY REP: I share the view that it needs to be as public as possible but the majority of judges voted to keep the session closed to the press.
RULING MP: Just because the discussions and the vote were behind closed doors that doesn't mean it was anti-democratic, but still, it's better to publicize the process. We hope to see a change in this approach.
JUDICIARY REP: The ballot casting will always be secret and I think that's the right approach in order to allow judges to express themselves without constraints, but I agree that the discussions and speeches should be public. Either way whatever we discuss behind closed doors always reaches the press so in practice there isn't really a major transparency issue there.
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: First, every part of my biography has always been public and part of public discussions. Second, I have always voted in favor of making internal discussions open to the press; it's the best way to avoid incorrect assumptions. Full speech here.
OPPOSITION MP: Congratulations. The ruling party intends to approve your candidacy just as they voted for you in the past for other positions. In all of those instances, you didn't mention your work at the Сорос Foundation. Now, a very interesting coincidence [drumroll... are you guys ready for this bombshell?], during the same time while you worked at Сорос foundation, in 2006-2013, you were also a U.S. Embassy employee [got 'em]. //
Nikol Pashinyan has resigned.
Tavush stretches all the way to Russia.
Bagrat srbazan becomes the Supreme Leader of Historical Soil & Water and the Generalissimos of Slow-Melting Candles... and of course removes the speed cameras from highways.
OPPOSITION MP (continues): With this biography, how do we know you are not an agent of foreign influence?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: I was not an "employee" at the Soros Foundations. Other famous figures have served on the Board [mentions a famous doctor]. Everyone who was part of the Board had duties but it was not really an "employment". As for my simultaneous work with the U.S. Justice Department, there was no conflict with my membership or presidency at the Board because the latter was fully a public activity and we were only given a symbolic sum to compensate for our expenses; we are talking about less than $100/mo. I will let you be the judge regarding an agent of influence. There is a lot that's missing from my biography that was read here [lists some boring constitutional research work, etc.].
OPPOSITION MP: You keep being "promoted" by the ruling party without having the chance to finish your terms. The longest job you've ever held was at the Сорос Foundation - 8 years. The brother of the head of the Anti-Corruption Committee, who is about to join the CC, cannot be impartial. Again, what guarantees can you present that you are not a [Western] agent?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: Your expectation for guarantees stems from the assumption that the [Open Society Foundations] were engaged in activities other than the ones they were actually engaged in. I won't present any "guarantees" because there is no "threat" to begin with. As I've said, that part of my biography has always been discussed publicly and the activities were public and covered by the press.
RULING MP: In your speech you spoke about the judiciary in the U.S. and brought examples. The U.S. doesn't have a Constitutional Court. Don't you think we should also merge the Constitutional and [Cassations Court] with the upcoming referendum to have one Supreme Court with corresponding chambers?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: I support having one unified body like in the U.S., or clarifying the duties to prevent each body from interfering with the other. Lengthy answer.
OPPOSITION MP: A person [in Kirants] received permission [from USSR] to build a house and live in it. Then the [Armenian] government told him there was a mistake [after the clarification of borders]. Some 50 years after this incident, what would your verdict be in this case?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: I understand the context. This issue is the task of the Prime Minister and Foreign Minister and we cannot interfere in each other's institutions. I assume there will be a peace agreement eventually that will be sent to the Constitutional Court for examination, therefore I will refrain from making prejudgments now in order to be allowed to take part in future processes.
full video, source, source,

anti-corruption: Armenian authorities conclude that luxury Dubai property belonging to former regime MP's relative was not obtained illegally by him therefore will not be seized as part of an asset forfeiture case

Mher Sedrakyan (Tokhmakhi Mher) is a Serj-era MP whose family is going through an asset forfeiture case worth ֏7.5 billion ($19.3 million) that includes 22 real estate properties, cars, and company shares registered under his name and the names of immediate family members.
Additionally, investigative journalists recently found a luxury property in Dubai registered under the ex-MP's relative. Authorities have concluded that he is not the true ownebeneficiary of this Dubai apartment, therefore it won't be seized.
source,

the army concludes exercises for commanders

Context in May 14 news digest. The defense ministry says they have noted improvements and deficiencies and will take steps to correct them.
source,

Defense Minister Papikyan visited the frontlines and the newly built fortifications: PHOTO

The army continues to dig, asphalt, and build.
source,

Armenia's Foreign Minister met the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency during an international forum

ROSSI: Effective cooperation has been established between Armenia and the IAEA. We discussed several issues on the bilateral agenda, oncology and radiation medicine, safety, and reliable operation of the Armenian NPP.
MIRZOYAN: We plan to extend the lifespan of Metsamor NPP until 2036 while exploring new opportunities.
source,

Armenian lawyers went on strike on Tuesday to protest a bill that would move them from a turnover tax-based system to a VAT-based taxation

Context on the gray economy and why the government wants to gradually abolish the turnover tax system in May 2 news digest.
A group of lawyers said on Tuesday that their 5% turnover tax [for annual turnover under ֏119M] will become 10% this year, and in 2025 they will be required to switch to a 20% VAT/18% profit tax. The cost of legal services for many clients could increase by over 38%, they warned.
The Ombudsman and the Justice Ministry reportedly oppose this bill by the Finance Ministry.
source, source, source, source,

video shows the new payment terminals in Yerevan subway station

They plan to replace all gates next month. The Soviet-era tokens (zheton) are being replaced with QR codes, an app, and later - bank cards.
All stations will have payment terminals to purchase QR tickets. It prints out a paper with QR. Telcell's app lets you buy a ticket and instantly get a QR on the phone's screen.
Seniors who can't use "high-tech" can approach the token sellers and get a QR paper instead of a token.
video,

Yerevan will host an exhibition on Charles Aznavour’s 100th anniversary

Hundreds of rare artifacts will present the life and legacy of the legendary artist.
Location: National Museum-Institute of Architecture
Date: May 22-July 22
source,

Germany wants to purchase an Armenian man

Dortmund Borussia is interested in the services of Armenian national Edward Spertsyan as a replacement for departing Marco Reus.
During this season, midfielder Spertsyan has played 32 matches, scored 11 goals, and made 7 assists. His ass is worth €18 million.
source,

posting this here instead cuz it's relevant...
in los angeles and during my shift overheard gamespot employees discussing KH content they were working on. one of them was lucy james from gamespot and idk who but one of them casually mentioned that it was dropping january 28. don't know if they were there for KH or what because i also saw big cutouts of elden ring.
they probably know who I am but i don't care this is BIG. i'm calling this as rumor because i don't know where they heard that from. they didn't sound like they were speculating.
if they know it, we should be getting an announcement soon, but they also said they're not expecting any KH announcements from summer games fest despite geoff keighley recent teases.
Square might just do their own stream if that's the case.
i really can't prove this because I literally only heard it, and I don't think people in games media would have dated info related to this game, even though they technically don't work in the gaming industry.

Given the numerous posts about the rumored announcement scheduled for Wednesday morning, we have created this megathread to consolidate all information and maintain organization within the subreddit.
Either Jman or I will update this post with any new information as it becomes available.
What We Know So Far:

• The announcement is expected to take place on Wednesday morning, May 22nd.
• Employees at stores nationwide and customer support have reportedly been instructed to increase staffing through Friday. Some locations are even approved for full overtime. We consider this information highly reliable, as it comes from over three sources.
• Customer support staff have recently undergone retraining specifically focused on customer retention, suggesting that T-Mobile anticipates a significant number of customers calling to cancel services. This is also considered highly reliable, with confirmation from over three sources.
• It has been reported that a Store Manager (or higher) must be present for a full 8 hours each day through Friday at all locations. While managers are not typically required for account management, this likely indicates preparation for handling an influx of dissatisfied customers. We consider this moderately reliable, based on two sources.

Current Rumor:

• The prevailing speculation is that T-Mobile will be increasing the prices of legacy plans.

As soon as we receive official information, this post will be updated immediately to keep everyone informed.
Stay tuned for updates.

I don’t want to rant out of frustration but this may go there. I also have a few sincere questions out of concern and need for my own awareness. I started selling in 2011 and was an early ambassador (lol when it meant something and you had to be accountable and apologize for selling a swimsuit that was nwot to earn that status) so I’ve seen some things…
like when all party invites came from that one poor employee who the newb karens ripped to shreds because they did not understand how automated invites worked or that they could unsubscribe from emails. LOL.
I never dreamt I would see the romper room messy bs that these live shows have brought. Holy untreated mental illness Batman. I have read up on changes to the algo and pretty much the basics of how to please the gods and things are going decently. If anyone reads this and wants to mentor me counsel me or offer tips grace or support I’d honestly welcome it. But wow I’ve been blown away at the expectations of people. And at some of the low key judgment toward resellers. Why is that? It’s kind of amazing the way that this platform has lost a sense of decorum I’m guessing due to the lack of support for sellers. Buyers are privy to way more information about most of these items than they are what they buy online and even in some stores. Yet ask questions of sellers that are so out of pocket and with very little frame of reference. So many aspects of clothing are subject to wearer that it’s difficult to answer things like “how does this fit” and that’s a fave. When a stock photo and measurements are given? Figure it out! 🤦‍♀️ if you’re short it’s prob gonna be long hun. And I do NOT talk like that. But a few days back on this app of getting questions like “is that the sheen on the pants or do they fit that tight” when the measurements, stock photos, fabric content and multiple other photos of the fabric in various lighting are listed. I feel like adults should be able to not have to make me ask them how thick their thighs are and compare it to the measurement in the listing for them. That is my time and it is worth money. Sorry but that’s just capitalism? I did not choose it. I’m sorry these basic skills are so allusive. People literally don’t know how to measure their own clothes and compare though?
Is this the experience others have had in current years and how do you handle these people who seem to not understand how clothes work?
Then there are the people who repeatedly make the same lowball offer. And insist on commenting that they made an offer when the offer was extremely low. I’ve got one who I want to block because she’s being rude about it and in her about section it says “NOT a reseller just selling clothes my family doesn’t wear anymore.” That’s technically reselling babe. When did the virtue signaling like begin??. And if it’s some “I have a real job” flex that is for one thing extremely ableist and I would like to say check your privilege to anyone in that camp before you come at me. She has had time to comment on my listing all day demanding I respond to her offer and give more info. 🧐 Not a reseller yet she has been on here for several years and has made over 600 sales. Cool beans tell me more. Ok now I’m ranting sorry.
I have gotten so many questions that could have been answered so much faster had they googled it or by using that handy image search function. Or by searching for similar listings and seeing that info listed elsewhere. I realize this makes me sound like a lazy or unresponsive/bad seller but I’ve just been swamped since getting my closet back up and going. That definitely does not mean I’m rolling in sales. I have not bought bots I’m trying to just get measurements on all the listings and develop my inventory. Again. People seem to behave like they are helpless and are impatient with their questions. Is it the clientele these days? Is it because they can? Am I the problem lol Will it get better or do I need to resign? Why does it seem like even the people who sell don’t have empathy for fellow sellers like they used to? How do they draw a line between seller and reseller if they literally are making offers to these resellers reaping the benefits of their work? We are all trying our best because we literally need money to survive. Why do these people act like we owe them so much of our time when they aren’t even going to make a purchase? That screen sure ups the audacity. Poshmark has strayed so far from where it started. But the utter lack of altruism. It feels like I’ve only encountered trolls since my return.

I'm having a frustrating experience with CCRM. Every time I turn around, my wife and I are getting hit with new random tests that are turning up results that sounds like whatever they tested is unproven science or skeptical about the validity of it... but they're throwing at us "GOOD NEWS WE CAN GET AROUND THAT ISSUE!"
Recently I (M) had a chromatin test and it came up "too high". My % is not too much higher than the optimal percent from what I found in independent publications on NIH and other medical studies. I did some looking around peer reviewed studies, and the % to be concerned at is nearly 2x what my number is at.
Regardless, the solution they threw at me is to buy a "special prescription supplement" called Ovahealth Acai.
This seemed odd. Usually I've been told by doctors that most supplements are pseudoscience, not FDA approved, and usually unproven with the exception of only a few like fish oil. So I got to reading and reading and digging into medical journals. Literally all I can was one single study published by CCRM with a sample size of 50 men from 4 years ago, and any sort of other publications about acai berries references this one single study. Even the NIH says that acai has no scientific evidence to support the use for any health-related purpose.
I finally get the call from this "pharmacy" that told me it was going to be nearly $200 shipped for these Magical Berries™️. I asked for the prescription instead, and they said that this "pharmacy" is the only one that can distribute it. Of course this is even more concerning now.
Does anyone have experience with CCRM peddling unnecessary berries, tests, or anything else on vulnerable couples who will do whatever it takes to start a family?
Sorry, just a bit put off by this. Doing tons of tests is one thing and I'm always about more data, but pushing magical berries that the proof is by their own employees on me is almost textbook snake oil salesman that has me really thinking hard making them justify every cost going forward.

TMUS (Tmobile) is having some type of announcement tomorrow morning. Employees believe it is being announced that they will raise their prices on legacy plans that were advertised as “price locked”. Leaders have been instructed to have plenty of employees for the next three days, both retail and call center staff. Overtime has been approved and managers are expected to be there. Usually if it’s a crazy promotion they will have training beforehand so employees are prepared to sell. As of right now district managers, and regional managers have been left in the dark without any information about what’s happening. This isn’t normal. CEO also sold 40k shares last week but has been selling since last year.
Position: short term puts on TMUS. If they do fuck over their customers on old plans it would have a negative impact on their customers but like Netflix and Disney they probably know it’s worth it in the long run.
No idea what I’m doing btw.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to ask for this kind of advice, but it's the first place I thought of.
I work from home in customer service for a large company that is constantly expanding without hiring new people. For this reason, existing employees are currently having their assigned schedules stripped away so that new ones better aligned with "business needs" can be assigned based on our metrics (highest metrics = first to pick, lowest = you get what's left).
As fucked up as this system sounded, I'd been dying for a new schedule and worked my ass off for a shot at some sort of work/life balance. When schedules were finally announced I got exactly what I asked for, with the stipulation that I'd need to do some additional training I'd previously declined as it meant almost doubling my workload for no additional pay. I agreed to this ONLY because my new schedule was an absolute dream, and (in my mind) just as good as a raise.
A week later, we get an email saying that the start date for our new schedule was being pushed back. I was annoyed, but I got over it since there was no mention of those schedules being changed. I go through with my training - it's hell - and continue working as usual while counting down the days until I'm able to clock out while the sun is still up. For those few weeks, my manager was out of office several times on 3-4 day vacations. Our team would occasionally receive forwarded emails from other managers with important info that she wasn't there to give us.
A week ago, I get a message from my manager a few minutes before I get off asking why I hadn't submitted my new shift preferences list as it would be due that evening. I checked every single email I'd received since it was announced that our new schedules were being postponed - I got nothing. I let her know this, and she says she can't find the email either and will just use the one I submitted originally. Again, I'm annoyed, but I figure my new new schedule can't be too different as my metrics had been consistently high.
I got that new new schedule today, and it is more or less my current schedule without the consecutive off days (think 10 hour shifts, off Mon, Wed, Fri). Out of maybe 20 possible schedules, it was more than halfway down my original preference list. I checked and double checked, and my metrics are actually higher now than when my dream schedule was awarded. I genuinely have no idea how this happened, and I waited around for half an hour after I got off in hopes of asking my manager but she marked herself out of office not long after I sent an email asking for clarification. No prior notice she'd be away, and no word on when she'll be back.
What am I supposed to do about this? I'm infamously bad at putting my foot down, but I can't imagine continuing at this company without getting the scheduled I worked for.
Tl;Dr: I was promised a new, easier schedule based on my high metrics. I agreed to take on additional work for this easier schedule. I just found out that - despite me taking on the additional work and still keeping my metrics high - I will actually be getting a different, shittier schedule. Who do I yell at and how loud?

First, I have to start the post by saying I am so sick of Marketing. Every time I am hired into a company that seems legitimate, they are doing something so scammy on the back end. I recently was hired by a company that seemed very promising in cybersecurity space. I went through four rounds of interviews where they talked a lot about their company and wanted me to expand on my background. I was very excited when I was offered the job and was given a generous salary. Not long into working the position, I noticed that not everything was as it seemed.
During my interview, I was told I would be brought on to focus on the D2C market, but they quickly had me start creating marketing material for a "sales" company they worked with. I didn't think too much of it as I was still doing a mixture of content for our main D2C side and this other side that focused on the sales company and their IBOs. I started to hear more and more about this sales company and was told there were many do's and don'ts because of how our company was structured. This prompted me to start looking into the sales company, and I immediately saw search engine results about how this company is a scam company and a pyramid scheme.
I still kind of kept my calm even when seeing this because I just figured we had a deal with the sales company where they helped us sell some of our product and earned a cut. Well, I now know it is MUCH MUCH more than that. Our CEO suddenly resigned last week out of nowhere, and a new COO was appointed and told us we would be focusing on the sales company and their IBOs now and would be putting no focus on the D2C anymore. I then heard from a co-worker that we are 90% owned by this huge sales company. (I don't want to mention any names here) but they have a terrible reputation online for being a pyramid scheme. Also, I just discovered that the call center we have that I thought was for us is LOCATED inside the sales company's headquarters. I am just so upset because I feel like, as an employee, I was baited and switched on what the company I was joining was, and now I am not sure.
Has this happened to anyone else?

TLDR - Shiny Weapon Drop Rate is 3.85% (1/26~) base, from any source. probably. With the 'Drop Rate Buff' added on May 21, 2024, that is likely doubled, to a 7.7% (1/13~) chance.
I tracked 1k drops for drop, attunement, shiny, and perks (just to quantify how unlucky i am)

Shiny Drop Rate over time

https://i.ibb.co/pPNv1p5/image.png
As the sample size builds up, there is some fluctuation until it stabilizes between 3.5% - 4.0% Sample is obviously not large enough to be certain. But based on Bungie's historical enthusiasm for using the number 7 literally everywhere, I am drawing the conclusion they tested the initial drop rate as either 7, 7.7, or 7.77%, and found it a bit too high, so sliced it in half. With today's 'BRAVE drop buff', it appears to be a drop rate buff specifically for shiny drops, which is likely doubling it, to restore the drop rate to 7.7% (ish) (probably)
and some of the raw stats -
Some of the finer details you may be interested in:

Raw Info
Total Weapon Drops	1025
Total Shiny Weapon Drops	38
Total Drops while Attuned to Any Gun	1011
Total Drops, Dropped Gun is Attuned	493
Attune Hit Percent	48.76%
Shiny Percent	3.71%
Shiny Hit Rate	1 / 26.97
Drop is Shiny, AND is Attuned	23 / 38
Shiny=Attuned Percent	60.53%

Gun	Total Drops	Attuned Drop Hits	Attuned Drop Chances	Attune Hit Pct	Attune Hit Rate
recluse	97	0	0	0	0 / 0
hungJury	89	0	0	0	0 / 0
succession	91	0	0	0	0 / 0
edgeTransit	134	94	183	51.37%	94 / 183
fallingGuillotine	0	0	0	0	0 / 0
elsiesRifle	106	44	89	49.44%	44 / 89
mountainTop	79	24	59	40.68%	24 / 59
midnightCoup	170	121	242	50.00%	121 / 242
hammerhead	132	106	220	48.18%	106 / 220
forebearance	0	0	0	0	0 / 0
blastFurnace	63	63	151	41.72%	63 / 151
lunasHowl	64	41	67	61.19%	41 / 67​

Attunement Rate for Mountaintop, Luna, are a bit off, but the sample size is small enough to attribute it to luck. You may have noticed an oddity though - 0 drops of Falling Guillotine, or Forbearance. So lets also get into some drop mechanics / Onslaught Tips

Weapon Drop Pool

Your initial drop pool, is only the first 4 weapons available - Recluse, Hung Jury, Succession, and Edge Transit. The remaining 8 weapons cannot drop, until you FULLY complete the associated weapon quest. Specifically, when the quest makes you Attune to the weapon on step 2, for the first time, that adds the drop into your loot pool. If you just don't do the quest, don't attune, etc - you can remove guns you don't want, from your loot pool. Between the weapon unlock mechanics, the layout of the map, and the initial plan of '6 extra weapons unlock 1 per week', I believe the initial plan was 8 weeks of Onslaught, with 1 unlock per week, and that was 'buffed' before the announcement to 6 + 6 over weeks, and finally into 6 + 6 over 3 weeks.

Shiny Drop Sources

All weapon drops are equal - wave 10 boss, opening the chest w/ 10 tokens, claiming a vendor engram from Shaxx, or turning in a weekly Arcite bounty - Every drop has a chance to be shiny.
finally, if you only take one piece of information away -

Heavy Ammo Crates in Onslaught only despawn when a build phase ends, or a player enters the boss portal.

NOT the Spark / Round 6 Portal. If you have a heavy crate sitting on the ground when the Spark/Rift portal opens, Don't open it, leave it outside, burn your heavy clearing the Sparkbearers inside, then refill after.

I’ll start of my assuring you that this is NOT a troll post, it’s a genuine issue that I have, please don’t make fun of me, I’m already ashamed having to ask this (ok, you can make fun as long as you help). I’m in my mid thirties and I’ve never in my life used a hair conditioner - I’ve never thought I needed it, I just have naturally strong hair that I keep quite short (think buzz cut, letting it grow ~ until it covers the back of my neck, rinse and repeat) and I’ve always kept my skin- and hair-care pretty basic, but ever since I got into Lush I’ve been slowly expanding my routine so now I‘d like to try a conditioner and see if it makes my hair look any better.
I went to a store and got a couple samples (Super Milk, Happy Happy Joy Joy and Retread - all the employee‘s picks, I’ve basically just said I’ve never used one but would like to start and she gave me these to try out after looking at my hair, she said they’re good general-purpose ones). Only later did I realise I didn’t ask how to use them and the website descriptions are not exactly helpful - for all 3 it says basically something to the extent of “use it to condition your hair”.
Literally all I know about hair conditioners is that there are 2 types - to rinse off like a shampoo and to put on and leave it be. How do I use these ones? Do I rinse them off (immediately or after X minutes?), do I leave them on (how long? till morning? till next time I wash my hair?), is there anything else I need to do before or after besides washing my hair with shampoo first? Also, are these good picks or would something else be better? How will I know if they’re working?
Thanks in advance for any and all help!

Ever since I first saw someone use an octatrack in 2010 I've always been a fan of it and the other Elektron devices. I love my octatrack despite its age and have always enjoyed making stuff on it. With that said, the device is starting to show its age and I believe that Elektron will ship a replacement to the octatrack within the next year or two. Naturally they're not going to announce this until they drop it, so predictions are hard but I'm going to make them anyway.
There is an OT-sized gap in the lineup
Right now in their lineup, for any given role, they have a full-sized item and a half-sized item (I'm ignoring the model:... devices and the other ones for now). The Analog 4 has the Digitone (synths), the Analog Rytm has the Syntakt (drum synths), and the OT has the Digitakt (samplers).
The Digitakt 2's new features are really starting to give the OT a run for its money, especially with the 16 audio/midi tracks, the sidechainable "pump-ready" compressor, and the Overbridge support are quite simply things that the OT cannot support even with a firmware upgrade.
The lack of overbridge support is the biggest gap IMO, especially for a device that is meant to be the "centerpiece" of a hardware setup. I can use every other device as a sound card to record and master on my computer, but not the OT, which means I have to either use a device that has fewer inputs or a separate audio interface.
I have a DT1 and while I don't have a DT2 it seems to have a lot of really incredible features. However what it doesn't have as much of the "centerpiece" features that the OT boasts, mainly the multi-stereo-in, multitrack recording and diverse FX. When you combine the inherent gaps in the DT2 and the inherent gaps in the OT, it seems like there's enough of a gap to justify a new device.
It will be built off of the Digitakt, almost like a DT plus
According to what I've seen on Elektronauts, the team that made the OT are no longer at the company, and apparently it has a codebase that is different enough from the other devices that they are unable to get Overbridge working on it (which is why its not already on there). So its reasonable to think that the OT is essentially in maintenance mode: maybe a few extra features with firmware upgrades but its about as mature as its going to get. Contrast that with the other overbridge-ready devices which feel a bit more "evergreen", its difficult to eke out new features with what exists now.
While I have no window into their development process, it seems to me it would be much easier to add OT-like features to the DT than it would be to get the OT up to "evergreen" status.
Based on what has been developed so far with the DT2, it kinda feels like they're doing this in preparation to build a new flagship device.
It will not be called an Octatrack, and it will be something completely new
This will not be a MKIII device and will be called something else. Since the DT2 already boasts 16 channel stereo sampling, the OT would likely need to match that, which kinda makes the OT naming a bit odd.
Since it will be built from the ground up, it makes sense for them to brand this as a totally different device to avoid the OT comparisons and give them the freedom to do something new.
Also, since the OT is already a great device, it might make sense to keep shipping those alongside the new thing. This would also help levy any criticisms that the new product might have for being too "divergent" from what the OT does.
DAW-less and performance-centric setups have started to become more of a thing lately if what I've seen online is any indication, and if I were them I would be wanting to position this as an even more powerful "centerpiece" device than anything else on the market. Ableton is starting to get in on their turf a bit with the standalone Push, and Akai is continuing to upgrade the MPC platform, so IMO they're going to need to get serious with a device that connects DAW-less to DAW.
Elektron could ship an OT with DT features, but I'd wager they will want to reimagine this a bit. I just hope they keep the crossfader!
It will be the most expensive device they sell (> $2k but probably not by much)
Not that I want it to cost this much, but shipping a new product is a good time to bump up the price floor, what with inflation and all. The standalone Push is already selling at $2k, and if this is supposed to compete with that, it stands to reason it will have a similar price tag. Some on here have said that Elektron has been focusing so much on the half-sized devices since they sell better and I generally agree, but given my above points, they might want to go all out on a "mothership" device with the associated price tag.
Also, if they decide they want to continue making the OT, they can probably keep selling it at $1600 without cannibalizing the new device too much.
What I really want
I really just want an OT with overbridge support, a dedicated master with compressor sidechain, good effects (current effects are fine but could be better), and that incredible crossfader with the scenes. I'm not the first person to ask for that either. The fact that this hasn't happened yet while the DT is getting lots of upgrades, it feels like a new OT-like device is (relatively) around the corner.

Hi all, longtime listener, first-time caller. Please see my query and first 300 below.
My biggest question is this: 95% of the story takes place in 2014, but the book opens in 2020 when my main character receives a letter from the California Dept of Fair Housing & Employment informing her of an investigation into behavior at Chatpic. Receiving the letter spurs her to tell the story of what happened back then. The book checks back into 2020 in the middle as my MC tries to get more information about the investigation, and then it ends back in 2020 again when she decides what she wants to do about the letter.
The reason the story takes place in 2014 is because the time period--pre #MeToo/Donald Trump/the workplace reckoning of 2020--informs the decisions the MC makes back then, and she's looking back at it from a wiser perspective. If you've read The Rachel Incident, Caroline O'Donoghue does a similar thing as she retells a 2008 abortion story from the perspective of present day.
In the end, the investigation is not a driving force of the plot--so my question is how important is it that it's mentioned in the query? I ask because I've found that trying to add that piece to what I've already written starts to get convoluted, though obviously I can work at it. I think it's very clear once you read the first 300, but for agents who don't want a sample, is it clear in the blurb that this story is looking back to a time gone by?
Mostly looking for insight on this question specifically, but if you have further feedback about the letter for first 300, open to that as well. Thanks!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear [Agent],
Thank you for the opportunity to submit my query for TERMS OF SERVICE, a true-ish fictional story about a young woman in a nearly impossible workplace a la UNCANNY VALLEY meets THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (with shades of 9 TO 5). TERMS OF SERVICE is complete at 95,000 words.
It’s 2014 and down-and-out celebrity blogger Maggie Clarke is desperate for a fresh start. Not only is she broke in New York City, but at 31, she thought she’d be writing something a little less embarrassing than Justin Bieber listicles by now. When her longtime internet friend Aron York–recently named the world’s youngest billionaire–offers her a lucrative position at his massively popular social media app Chatpic that puts her at the center of his inner circle in Los Angeles, it’s exactly the step-up she’s been waiting for. As Maggie learns to manage the always-on hours, the slew of acronyms, and the unlimited access to free cold brew, she encounters another more complicated problem–the boys’ club. Except this isn’t the typical ham-fisted sexism she’s used to–this is the tech bro variety: insidious, inexorable, and infuriating. When she meets an ambitious young reporter who encourages her to speak out, Maggie has a shot at revenge. But in a world before mansplaining and microaggressions, is blowing the whistle worth the risk? And is anyone ready to hear it?
Like Maggie, I was also plucked from internet obscurity by the world’s (then) youngest billionaire, [redacted], to come work at his massively popular social media app, [redacted company]. I was a founding member of the company’s content team, and all I have to show for it is six footnotes in the [redacted company] biography [redacted title] and the brutal feminist awakening that inspired me to write this manuscript. Before that, I was a full-time writer in New York whose work has appeared on MTV, Rolling Stone and Elle. Currently I’m a content and editorial consultant in Chicago, and I’m also on TikTok where 21,000 people watch me rant about work and office culture. (It’s also where 2M people enjoyed my show-and-tell video about the “sentimental” stock certificates [redacted company previously mentioned] gave a few early employees–that were worth exactly $0.00.)
As the agent who represents [Author 1] and [Author 2], you have a strong list when it comes to complex female characters embroiled in complicated social dynamics. TERMS OF SERVICE would be a great addition to this track because, while similar themes of class and workplace are explored, my flavor of levity and sarcasm makes my work distinct from [Author 1] and [Author 2], bringing a new facet to your program.
If you are interested in reading TERMS OF SERVICE, I would be happy to forward a sample of any length you suggest. Thank you for your consideration!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
First 300:
Chapter 1
2020
A lot of people might revel in the idea of receiving a letter announcing an investigation into their ex-employer.
One might, for example, envision draping themselves in a mink stole, lighting the cigarette at the end of their old-timey cigarette holder, and dialing the investigator’s number from a rotary phone atop a solid wood desk under shadowy, film noir lights. One might then imagine whispering I knew this day would come into the receiver between bursts of psychotic, hysterical laughter as they rejoiced in the long overdue arrival of the long arm of the law.
But me, I wasn’t so sure. Maybe because I didn’t have a mink stole.
No, I was crouched on the ground of my parents’ musky basement in Des Plaines, Illinois, knee-deep in piles of old diaries and CDs when I received notice of one such letter. It was month four of COVID, and Dad and I were only halfway through his cleaning list. He was already a germaphobe so a global pandemic was all he needed to justify a top-to-bottom disinfection of the entire house. And since my routine trip home in the middle of March turned into a hapless extended stay when the world shut down, it was the perfect excuse to put me to work. Just like the good old days.
We wiped down every square inch of the place. We soaked the faucet heads in lemon juice, we scrubbed the coffee mugs with baking soda. We vacuumed the damn fridge.
Reorganizing the basement shelves was a beast. Every box was like a Russian nesting doll of useless crap: old TV Guides, corroded double-A batteries, dried-out cans of paint primer, an unsettling number of hand saws. I made decent headway through the “tools” and “electronics,” but I lost all steam when I got to my high school stuff—faded Polaroids and folded-up notes stopped me in my tracks.

Coming Fall 2024!

Nearly four years ago (Sep-2020), I began an apprenticeship at Cambridge Typewriter Co. (CTC), under legendary repairman Tom Furrier, that would come to define my life until only recently. As Tom’s chosen successor, I was over the moon to be taking CTC into the future, having already banked 1,000+ refurbished typewriters (repairs, sales, and even Hollywood props) and learned the finer points of customer service. Unfortunately, between the costs of purchasing the shop, providing necessary upgrades/modernizations, and leasing Boston-area commercial space (all the while having enough money left over for the day-to-day operations of running the business), I could not afford to acquire CTC without a bank loan. As Tom’s apprentice, and not his employee, my journey into learning the trade was funded by my extremely supportive and loving wife, who, as sole breadwinner during my entire apprenticeship, I couldn’t ask to shoulder yet another financial burden, i.e. today’s interest rates, just so I could pursue my dream of purchasing the shop.

My exit from CTC shocked both Tom and myself. On my last day, he asked what I planned to do. Considering how much we had saved to purchase CTC, I told him my wife and I hoped to begin a self-funded venture in southern New Hampshire, nearer to home, within 6-12 months. (The 80+ miles of cumulative, daily commute to/from CTC was draining.) While saddened by my departure, Tom agreed my strategy was sound and gave me his blessing, although he admitted he would try to find a replacement buyer, which I agreed was fair, as CTC is his legacy and should not be wholly dependent upon my involvement moving forward—and Tom deserves a well-earned and long-overdue retirement after decades spent maintaining the business.

Shaking hands, we parted ways.

Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of material acquisitions (hundreds of typewriters!), legal approvals, and commercial contracts, but I’m proud to announce the future opening of New England Typewriter, LLC (NET). Located minutes from the MA border in sales-tax-free New Hampshire, NET will be a self-funded typewriter shop, easily accessible from Boston/Worcester, MA; Nashua/Manchester, NH; Kittery, ME; and the entire North Shore region, without the pesky congestion of city traffic. We are also a reasonable drive from Vermont, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. Apart from providing quality, affordable typewriter repair and sales, our goal is to promote a thriving typewriter community within the New England area through type-ins, outreach, and other such events.

Thank you, Tom, for your tutelage!

Thank you to my wife for her love and support (and Happy 15^th Wedding Anniversary, by the way)!

Thank you, everyone, for your time and attention!

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and our website (under construction) to support a small business!

“Log off the ‘net…with NET!”

Hello everyone, I need experts' advice on this matter. I was a GS-12 employee for over 90 days before I resigned due to a death in the family. My SF-50 shows that I moved back to the family. However, it has been difficult to get back on the same series. I was in series 1035, so I decided to try other series like 0343. I took the OPM exam and was referred to all grades 9-12. But, because this is a field I haven't been in for a long while, I decided to decline the last offer for GS-11 because I do not want to make any mistakes. I recently accepted a GS position in the 0343 group and was placed on step 9 / 1. I want to negotiate the offer based on my previous federal job experience, completing a GS-11 to the last GS-12 with over 90 days on that grade. Can I get sincere assistance on how to word my negotiation letter? I already have my TJO.

From a former board member:
Good afternoon!
To all my fellow Ithaca residents, please make sure to take to the polls today, to vote in the Ithaca City School District Board of Education election. If you believe in public education, making sure our students, teachers and support staff are getting the resources and tools they need to thrive and succeed, you will make time to get to the pools, between 12pm and 9pm. If you don’t have access to transportation, I am happy to transport folks (send me a message on Facebook or email)
As many of you know, I spent 6 years on the Board of Education, until I made the difficult decision to resign two years ago. After receiving many Facebook messages, text messages, and phone calls in the past 24 hours from friends and community members asking me who they should vote for and if they should vote yes/no to the budget, I have decided to share my thoughts publicly so I can get back to my 9-5 job for the day . As a single mom of three and a homeowner, I empathize with the sentiment of people feeling like they can no longer afford to rent or own a home in Ithaca. However, Ithaca has been becoming unaffordable for quite some time, I say this as someone who has lived in this community for 21 years. This feeling did not start with our assessment that increased this past year or the rollout of the BoE budget. Voting NO to the budget will not change your assessment, it will not “stick it” to administrators, who will get their raises along with other unionized ICSD employees as part of contractual negotiations. Voting NO will punish and hurt children, teachers and supporting staff. Teachers and support staff will have less resources and support to educate and inspire our children if we have to adopt a contingency plan. And our most vulnerable students will suffer the most. “How a society treats its most vulnerable is always the measure of its humanity” – Ghandi. In this context, how ICSD cares for and educates its most vulnerable students is an indication of how well the school district fares in educating its school community.
As we have all read about four of our schools losing “Good Standing” status with NYSED, and our Black and Brown students feeling the impact of this the most; how can we as a community in good conscious, say that we will provide our children, our future leaders with less than they deserve to overcome the many obstacles that the pandemic has created. For all the caregivers, educators, mental health workers out there, we all know - no one is okay! Some of us were not okay before we were forced into a few years of isolation, so to expect our educators to be able to reconcile the damages that the pandemic created with fewer resources is setting our educators up for the impossible. And yes, taxpayers should not have to bear the weight of this alone when we live in a town with college/university campuses. So instead of glorifying the problem, why don’t we talk about structural solutions? How many of us know Anna Kelles and Lea Webb personally, socially or professionally? Why don’t we bring in our state representatives to help us think about structural long-term solutions of state aid and university contributions? And while we are at it, invite Governor Kathy Hochul who sits on the Board of Trustees of Cornell University to this conversation; why are we not thinking strategically about those who hold power to shift this paradigm? I know this will take time, and folks are concerned with the now.
What can we do now? We can do an inventory of what ICSD offers and provides our students and staff from academics to extracurricular activities. We can ask the questions of, what is the district allocating funding for and is it effective and for whom? The district has an Evaluation Officer, we need to hear from her on what are the impacts of our initiatives, programs, and the curriculum offerings. Our teachers and support staff have unions and union leaders. We need to hear from the union leaders, not just during budget season or when chaos is amiss, but throughout the academic years so we know how best to support teachers all year long.
I will be voting yes to the budget. Yes, it is a huge increase. But guess what folks? We have 12 schools in our very small city, and we are living during a time of high inflation so the services needed to support all these 12 schools have increased. A typical classroom in our building has many adults. I bring this up because I constantly hear the comparison of salary of ICSD teachers to teachers outside the district who are making more than ICSD teachers. 9/10 times these teachers in other districts are making more money because they don’t have co-teachers, teachers assistants, teacher aides, 1:1s, etc. I am in NO way making the argument to have less support in the classroom or to eliminate positions, I am pointing out that our district has a larger supporting staff than many other districts. Teachers and supporting staff deserve a HIGHER wage without question. But this is not an ICSD only problem, this is a nationwide issue. Our country has not put anywhere near enough funding into public education that is needed. And this is not an excuse for the Board or the highly paid administration team. But we have to be real about what are the root causes vs. symptoms of the problems. Give this article a read if you have time: Schools are bracing for widespread teacher layoffs. Here’s why CNN Politics
Now the tricky part of this post, who I am voting for. I am going to be brutally honest because that is just who I am. After attending the public forum with all seven candidates, I left with very very strong opinions of what I witnessed and heard. I plan to vote for Barry Derfel, Moira Long, and Eldred Harris. I know Barry Derfel very peripherally from sitting on the BoE, as well as when I worked for the Multicultural Resource Center, and he was supporting teachers with culturally responsive teaching as well as participating with the Talking Circles initiative. What I know of Barry, is that he is a supporter of equity and inclusion, meaning NO CHILD GETS LEFT BEHIND. Barry has been a teacher, an administrator, and is a parent – he understands the many facets of public education and how we are thriving as a district and how we are failing as a district. Two truths can stand side by side.
I was on the BoE with both Eldred and Moira during my tenure, and it was not always cordial and a walk in the park between us. But what I can say, is that in those behind the door conversations, heated debates, I rarely ever questioned their commitment to children and teachers and support staff. Moira has always championed for teachers and retirees; she understands their plight and struggles as a former teacher herself. Eldred and I both grew up in NYC (though he is my senior by maybe a couple decades) and understand the struggles of being hyper visible yet unseen, overcoming adversity, attending underfunded schools, and taught by teachers who were tasked with the impossible. I know Eldred to be someone who is going to champion for what is best for every child, someone who is going to tap into their radical imagination to think of another way forward, someone who has institutional knowledge and knows how far the district has come, and someone who is willing to ask the hard questions.
I’m going to close this long monologue by saying I believe in creating space for new voices at the table. However, some of these new voices are advocating for changes that will hurt specific populations of children, like candidates who are advocating to bring back policies such as "tracking", while research shows tracking has a disparaging outcome for students and frankly is a racist policy. I said it. There are also candidates who have flip flopped on their support of the budget, telling ITA they would vote yes and after receiving the teacher’s union endorsement telling community members, they would vote no for the budget. Misleading your constituents is never a good sign and not a good way to build community trust and engagement. If I had to vote for a fourth candidate, it would be Todd Fox. He was honest and transparent about his talents and his lack of knowledge of the processes within public education. However, he spoke with passion and authenticity when speaking about his experiences in the school district as a student, and the support he wished he had as a former ICSD student. What I hope for in a school board member, is someone is not afraid to ask the hard questions, someone who listens with compassion and empathy (even if they disagree), someone who takes the time to get to know their constituents and can be honest with themselves and their fellow board members when they are individually or collectively are missing the mark. And most importantly, someone who is is always thinking about equity, and who is at the table and who is not. Our district is in need of school board members who are looking beyond what their individual child needs and instead is looking at what all of our children need in order to receive an equitable education that allows them to more than survive but to thrive within ICSD.
(excuse my typos I don’t have the energy to edit this another time, apologies)
Nicole LaFave
Nicole LaFave Interim Director of Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging Office of Diversity and Inclusion Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management Cornell University
Edited to add that I’m not the author, just sharing.

~First~
Cats, Cops and C4
The Erumenta woman tries to fight even as he forces her into the cell, her natural fire flaring hot enough for his clothing to smoulder and him to mentally congratulate himself for his Undaunted Brand. It’s literally saved his fingers multiple times today.
Marlintine Spire is like many of the spires of Centris still reeling from the massive scan. Sure it had been legal, and both Living Goddesses upon the world had told everyone to calm down in their own way. But just because something is legal and endorsed by powerful figures does not make it a popular move.
“You burn any of your fellow prisoners while you’re in there and you’re getting a suppression collar.” He tells the obstinate criminal as he shoves her into the holding cell and slams the bars shut. The forcefields supplementing the metal bars flickers into place and the blast of flame she aimed at his face splashes against it without further effect. “Cute, keep it up and we won’t need a court hearing to upgrade you to a real prison.”
“He’s being serious. Stripper boy is playing at being a serious police officer.” Another criminal mocks and is subsequently ignored as Chenk leaves the area. He has other things to do.
“Ma’am.” He greets Chief Bowman as he slips by to head back out.
“Hold it human. I know your kind are endurance monsters, but you need to sit the hell down. You’ve been dragging in cult soldiers for six and a half hours straight. Your legal overtime ended a half hour ago.”
“Then keep a cell open for me as I keep bringing in more people. This needs to be quelled.” Chenk says and as he turns to keep going she grabs his belt and pulls him back.
“You need to rest.”
“The Spire is in the middle of a borderline insurrection. I can rest when it’s...” He begins to say before a sudden movement to his right makes his head snap around. Just before Vera the Takra-Takra crashes into him.
“Thanks for stalling him out Chief! Come on you goofy human!” Vera announces as she drags him down the hallway and into Linda’s Office. She tosses him onto the couch and then pounces onto him and pins him.
“Really?” Chenk asks.
“Yes really. You need to calm down. And I found a way to force it.” Linda states.
“But the Spire is...”
“You are one officer. Supersoldier on loan to the station or not, you’re still only one officer. The structural integrity of this spire only depends upon you when there’s a bomb threat and even then, only when it’s a chemical bomb.” Linda tells him. “Or do we have to restrict you to only being called out during a bomb threat?”
“No.” He says. “But people are still getting hurt and...”
“And they're the ones hurting themselves. Just please calm down. I know you’re skilled, but your sense of justice is just going to hurt you at this rate. Don’t want to leave a bad example for Amy now do you?” Linda teases him and Chenk groans in frustration.
“... I really should have thought things through before growing attached to that girl.”
“Oh probably, but it was adorable to see. The world crashing down on a poor little girl in over her head and then Officer Hero, Supersoldier from the blackest void of the galaxy flies in to save her.” Vera teases.
“Still, him being a supersoildier is a bit of a problem right now. Big man needs a mission, or he’s going to go nuts!” Linda notes. “Luckily! I called one of your friends on the ship. Soldier, you’re in position to requre a talking to from The Observer. However, the call is on hold, but you need to be here when it goes off.”
“That’s a dirty trick.” Chenk notes even as an Undaunted communicator is tossed at him and he catches it. It’s activated, it’s in a waiting queue and there’s no way he can go into the field now if he’s waiting for an official answer. “Very dirty.”
“Good thinking!” Vera compliments as she cuddles closer to her pinned target. Her hair spikes out in sudden shock as The Communicator then goes off to signify the call has gone through. “I jinxed it!”
“Specialist Chenk Barnabas sir!” Chenk answers the call instantly as he sits up and Vera scurries off him.
“Really? I put him on that waiting list to get him to calm down and stop working.”
“Specialist Barnabas, I’m one of numerous individuals filtering the sheer number of incoming calls to The Inevitable. You’re in the proper queue now, please state what you have been doing as a member of The Undaunted so that Observer Wu can better decide who to speak with.”
“I’m on loan to one of Marlintine Spire’s major police stations. Due to the overpopulation of Centris this means I have been acting as elite law enforcement over a population that exceeds that of many of earth’s countries.”
“I see, anything in particular that you’re doing?”
“I’m a chemical expert and accredited detective at this rate. I am the go to specialist for law enforcement when it comes to chemical explosives for a full ten percent of Centris Police Departments.”
“Any particularly interesting cases you’ve been assigned to?”
“Yes, one that is still being debated in court by none other than The Trytite Lady. It involves cloning, murder, mercenaries, numerous criminal gangs and a great deal of more nonsense such as massive prison breaks, fighting robots and Axiom effects so dangerous that even speaking about them in anything more than the most broad and general of terms on an open frequency is a punishable offence.”
“So you have seen a fair amount of what has occurred in the galaxy.”
“I’ve seen enough that I’m going to be very hard to surprise or overwhelm any longer.” Chenk says.
“Very good. I’ll just note this down. The Galaxy is absolutely insane, I’ve been fielding calls from people with like nine heads all speaking in concert and god damn lobster people and more...”
“That’s reality for you.” Chenk replies. “Always more absurd than it should be.”
“Indeed, stand by. I’m putting you into the next proper queue. It shouldn’t be more than a minute or two long.” The Assistant states and then the call shifts to simply display that he’s fourth in the queue now.
“Hunh. Faster and somehow slower than expected at the same time.” Chenk says even as Vera leans against him.
“Even when you take a break you’re still working.”
“You didn’t complain about me being an endurance monster when I planted this in you.” He says gently patting her growing stomach and she pushes him a bit in protest.
“Problem with getting the super-babies of doom is the wait for the baby.” Vera complains and he chuckles before the communicator activates again. He puts it in broadcast mode as Linda leaves her desk to sit next to him for support.
“Observer Wu I take it?” Chenk asks the Asian man who nods.
“And you are Officer and Operative Barnabas. The little summary in front of your call has my attention. Tell me, how are laws generally handled in the Centris space.”
“Centris is a massively overpopulated planet consisting of Spires and Plates. The Spires are the massive multi tiered towers that have two hundred levels each and each level holds enough people to populate any major city on Earth with ease. The lower the level on the spire the less funding, infrastructure and support it has with the bottom ten generally considered a universal slum or no man’s land. Law enforcement in those areas is nigh on impossible and the air itself has been described as thick and fetid. No natural light reaches those areas either.”
“And higher up?”
“Increasing amounts of wealth and support. To such a degree that the plates, which form an artificial ring around Centris are of such high quality that their most squalid and desperate places are at roughly the same standard of living as the middle fifty floors of a well off Spire. As you can imagine, policing all this is an outright herculean effort and every station, no matter how well funded, armed or endorsed is simply inadequate for the task.”
“What sort of crimes have you witnessed?”
“I’ve stopped terrorist conspiracies, torn down drug labs, found myself between assassins and their targets, I’ve stood in the middle of gang wars commanding people to stand down, I have tackled muggers, murderers and maniacs alike into walls and cuffed them. Not even twenty minutes ago I dragged a criminal who could light fires with her will alone into a cell, my jacket is still singed from it.”
“So the world is rife with criminality.”
“No more than any other place, there’s just so many people crammed in here that it’s constant, and that’s without the recent provocation that every single criminal organization received more or less simultaneously. Generally for every single idiot that needs a police officer to remind them why good behaviour is a good idea, there’s an entire bus full of people that didn’t even consider breaking the law.” Chenk explains.
“But when they truly commit crimes they don’t stop do they?”
“No, more resources, technology and Axiom means that if someone wants to break the rules they can break the very concept of rules. The last major case I was in before this flashfire of criminality was kicked off involved the sanctity of body and mind being shattered for the sake of mere greed by a figure so underworld infamous that for a chance to get either evidence on the person in question or ingratiate themselves to them we had an all out war break out in the station. One that if not for a quick trick, we would have lost.”
“And the trick was?”
“Switching out the prize for a disguised tracking beacon.” Chenk says and Observer Wu nods appreciatively. “I can’t credit on that though, it was The Private Stream that did that.”
“I haven’t had that fully explained to me. What is THE Private Stream?”
“I’m not the best person to explain it, but a quick summary is that it’s a shared persona for low profile work. Operative Jameson is the founder and original Private Stream, a persona that lets him go around while heavily armed and armoured while arousing no suspicion.”
Vera snorts in amusement. “Arousing... lot of girls find the aw shucks innocent routine to be arousing.”
Chenk slowly urns to her. “What?”
“You know what.”
“Maybe I don’t!”
“Maybe you do.”
“Could we focus please?” Observer Wu asks. “Now, as an Officer, are there any laws that you would find concerning about humans?”
“Yes, they’re usually location dependant thankfully. So the issue can be avoided. Furthermore there’s a lot of leeway given in laws where the traits of a species would make following the law difficult if not impossible. For example a human can generally get away carrying substances that are considered highly toxic or dangerous due to the fact that our diets contain what many people in the galaxy are nothing more than hard core poisons.”
“Hmm... Could you be more specific?”
“Well, this one won’t apply to you due to an amendment that Admiral Cistern was able to get allies to help him push through, but one of the most popular religions the galaxy over is the Gravid Faith, it has numerous denominations and variants and several of them create what’s called Arrangement Systems where men are required by law to have a hundred wives.”
“And the amendment is?”
“That if you are gainfully employed by governmental or military forces that you are exempt from the law so long as you remained employed in such a manner. You Observer Wu are the eyes of hundreds of Earth Nations meaning a government employee.” Chenk explains and he nods.
“I see. Any other exemptions?”
“Generally the Galaxy looks down on kinetic weaponry, so when it was pushed that humans wear weapons and cultural garb it was allowed through without issue. So humans are legally allowed to carry weapons like knives and pistols at almost all time without question. It’s... rather stupid in my opinion, but well it would be even more foolish for me to complain about something I’m outright benefiting from.”
“Hmm... any other laws?”
“They very much vary by location. Which are further influenced by the species of the residents, local culture, religion, political association, economic status. The name of the game is jurisdiction issues here on Centris. The local police departments all help one another, but always at the invite of the local officers who can actually confirm if what’s taking place is a crime or not in the local area.”
“Can you give an example of this working against things?”
“Alright, the easiest example is with drugs. There is no agreed on way to combat the spread of illegal narcotics. Some make the growing of the plants that produce what you want illegal. Others make the refinement of it’s fruit illegal and some make the selling of the drug illegal. So you can produce it all on the third Spire and sell it on the first two legally. You can grow the plant on the second and third spire legally, refine it on the first and third legally and that way you have a massive multi-jurisdiction drug running operation without technically breaking any law.”
“Hmm... that is a great deal to consider. I presume other such crimes can operate the same way?”
“Unfortunately yes. But that’s the problem with laws, you need to set where the boundaries are, but not make people prisoners in their own homes. There’s always a loophole.”
“Tragically yes.” Observer Wu remarks. “Now, I do need to speak to the others, but I have a few moments more. Who and what are you sitting near. The vaguely catlike woman on your right and the... generally human looking woman on your left are?”
“Linda is to my left. Partner and wife, the first actual police officer of us three. Vera is to my right. Wandering Warrior and wife. Linda is a Tret woman, they’re best considered to be humans if we evolved with Axiom helping us, a sister species to our own people. Vera is a Takra-Takra, she and her kind can shapeshift into the ferocious Warform and use it in battle. They pride their skill as Warriors and seek out stronger mates to empower the next generation.” Chenk explains before tiltiing the view down a little to show the pregnant stomach on Vera. “A work in progress.”
“I see. Congratulations. Although compared to many other Undaunted you seem a little behind.”
“I wasn’t aware it was a race.”
“Which is exactly how you lose the race!” Vera says in an amused tone.
“Indeed. Every conversation leads me to believe that I need to take an entire university degree in order to understand things. Thankfully your own is rather straight forward.”
“Really? Who are you speaking with next?”
“I haven't decided yet, but I need to speak with everyone in some way.” Observer Wu states.
“Good luck sir, I think you’ll need it.” Chenk says.
“Excuse me, is there a way to get a human to calm down and take a break? Ever since Centris was Scanned and hidden societies were exposed all over Chenk has refused to stop working. Is there any way to just get him to take a break?” Linda asks.
“It generally varies from person to person. But I would suggest guilting him. Emotional blackmail is a powerful tool.” Observer Wu says with a slight smirk.
“Traitor!” Chenk declares and there’s a chuckle from The Observer.
“Indeed. I’m afraid this call needs to finish now. Best of luck.” Observer Wu says before the call ends.
“So... we need to guilt you then? Okay!” Vera exclaims before her eyes start to water. “Don’t you wanna be there for the baby? Doesn’t she deserve a daddy?”
“Oh my god woman!”
~First~ Last

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

Howdy all,
I previously posted on this forum about being possibly terminated from my company. After discussing with them for a while, they offered to give me one month worth of pay in order for me to resign back in April. There was an incident with me and another employee was being incredibly racist towards me, and I ended up walking off the job prior to that. There are numerous situations that exposed me to a lot of racist and unprofessional behavior from my Japanese coworkers, for example, being yelled at on the job in front of guests, and other employees, I tried to bear with it as much as I could, and I tried to educate them that their behavior was unacceptable especially for foreigners, but they wouldn’t hear it one night during service. One of the coworkers ended up, saying something completely unprofessional and rude to me during service to which I couldn’t stand it, and I decided that I would leave early and go home the next day without even hearing my explanation as to what happened and only listening to the Japanese employees the manager of the hotel told me that I “didn’t need to come into work anymore and that he couldn’t allow me to come back to work”
After that incident he didn’t allow me to come back to work and I stayed at home for practically one month while he figured out how to get rid of me.
Fast forward I had numerous meetings with HR while they “Investigate” the issue. And in the end they concluded that I was “Not able to get along with everyone”
And that I should be transferred to another location of theirs in Tokyo.
However the costs for moving would befall on me and be my responsibility.
I told them I’m unable to afford that, and that I should be allowed to come back to work. Their rudeness isn’t my fault, and I’m there to work not to get along with everyone.
They said neither option was acceptable for them, and they asked me to resign on your own.
That they would pay me for May (Which they did)
And June,
I feel like I’m getting ripped off here and we are having no a meeting in five days to discuss the resignation. They were so eager to have me sign the resignation form the day after our third meeting. Even asking me if I had any questions, I didn’t sign it and now we are having a big meeting with me, HR, and possibly the ceo of the company I believe. Or at least the big boss on the 30th.
I’m not sure what I should do here, I need my salary for June to pay my rent, and I’ve been job hunting like crazy since the beginning of May. But I haven’t found anything yet, I live in Kyoto as well.
I really can’t afford to consult a lawyer, especially since I’m going back to the states next week to visit my sick grandmother.
I’m at a loss, if I accept this resignation can I still claim unemployment while I find another job? Do I give up that right? Should I ask for a better severance?
I already tried to ask for severance up till July, but they said it’s not possible. That if I don’t resign I will be terminated, I am Shain by the way if that helps.
Any advice would be super helpful.