I have back pain on the right side when i breath it hurt

It was said. There is no going back now. The damage was done. All the promises made. The time spent in each others arms. The late night movies, the good morning calls. All of it. Gone. The words can’t be unsaid. The hurt can’t be unfelt. The wound can’t be sewn. You were my everything. I would have gone through so much hurt to shield you from the pain that was right in front of you. I did. But the words are out now. I tried so hard for so long to pretend it didn’t hurt. I tried to pretend like it wasn’t eating away at me inside. I wanted you but there was no you without her. The life I was waiting for was nothing but a fairy tale, told to a child who didn’t understand how she could love someone so intensely and it still not be enough. Kids grow up on Disney movies. That’s the first view into “true love” they have. There are hard times but in the end everything works out for love. For true love. Disney fucking lied. And this is no fairy tale. Reality isn’t so pretty and it isn’t wrapped up in a nice little bow. He was Prince Charming. He was intelligent, gorgeous, and the perfect gentleman. He cared about you, was there for you, loved you. He was everything you had ever hoped for. He was perfect. But here’s the part Disney doesn’t show you. He got comfortable. He stopped trying as hard. As time went on and things became tougher, he wasn’t your Prince Charming anymore. He doesn’t show you the same care. The same interest. The same intensity of love and longing and passion. The late night movies stop. The good morning calls stop. The fire he once had in his eyes for you stop. Life has beaten him down and down and down until he had no fight left to give. A piece of him died. And it took the best piece of you with it. Broken, depressed, scared, sad, confused, on how something so beautiful could cut so god damn deep. But he’s not all gone. That love remains. The embers are still there. A glimpse of who he was, who you were, who they were. Just enough to hold on. Hold on and pray that those days would come back. That one day you would open your eyes and he was there. Just as loving. Just as caring. Just as perfect as he once was. Your Prince Charming had come home. But this isn’t a fairy tale. Those pieces are gone and that little girl is devastated. Crying on the floor left wondering why, WHY? Why? But there’s no going back now. The damage is done. The fighting has stopped. It’s over. It’s really over. He’s gone.

It was said. There is no going back now. The damage was done. All the promises made. The time spent in each others arms. The late night movies, the good morning calls. All of it. Gone. The words can’t be unsaid. The hurt can’t be unfelt. The wound can’t be sewn. You were my everything. I would have gone through so much hurt to shield you from the pain that was right in front of you. I did. But the words are out now. I tried so hard for so long to pretend it didn’t hurt. I tried to pretend like it wasn’t eating away at me inside. I wanted you but there was no you without her. The life I was waiting for was nothing but a fairy tale, told to a child who didn’t understand how she could love someone so intensely and it still not be enough. Kids grow up on Disney movies. That’s the first view into “true love” they have. There are hard times but in the end everything works out for love. For true love. Disney fucking lied. And this is no fairy tale. Reality isn’t so pretty and it isn’t wrapped up in a nice little bow. He was Prince Charming. He was intelligent, gorgeous, and the perfect gentleman. He cared about you, was there for you, loved you. He was everything you had ever hoped for. He was perfect. But here’s the part Disney doesn’t show you. He got comfortable. He stopped trying as hard. As time went on and things became tougher, he wasn’t your Prince Charming anymore. He doesn’t show you the same care. The same interest. The same intensity of love and longing and passion. The late night movies stop. The good morning calls stop. The fire he once had in his eyes for you stop. Life has beaten him down and down and down until he had no fight left to give. A piece of him died. And it took the best piece of you with it. Broken, depressed, scared, sad, confused, on how something so beautiful could cut so god damn deep. But he’s not all gone. That love remains. The embers are still there. A glimpse of who he was, who you were, who they were. Just enough to hold on. Hold on and pray that those days would come back. That one day you would open your eyes and he was there. Just as loving. Just as caring. Just as perfect as he once was. Your Prince Charming had come home. But this isn’t a fairy tale. Those pieces are gone and that little girl is devastated. Crying on the floor left wondering why, WHY? Why? But there’s no going back now. The damage is done. The fighting has stopped. It’s over. It’s really over. He’s gone.

I have a habit of taking my jewelry off when my piercings are not fully healed and getting them re-pierced (which I’ve done a few times). The point is I handled the pain just fine and I thought they didn’t hurt as much. Currently, I have nose, belly button, and a bunch of ear piercings. I’ve been wanting to get snake bites done on both my left and right side of my lip at the same time. Can anyone with lip piercings rate the pain level, please?

Just wanted to voice to someone (or somewhere) that i miss my ex but I feel like he and I should really just be done forever or at least until we can learn to communicate and control our own actions better.. When we are reunited once again (which is on a weekly basis we separate and return) we constantly fight like on a nightly basis these days…oftentimes resulting in us both becoming extremely emotional and not being able to control ourselves and things become physical .. he knows how to push the boundaries with me and at times it feels like he wants to push me to becoming physical. ( I’m usually the one who loses it first).. he doesn’t just stand there of course he fights back and things are said, words that can’t be taken back things broken that can never be repaired, feelings and memories of the worst times in both our lives i do know this as a fact.. we are oil and water.. but when we arent emulsifying (not sure if thats a proper verb in this context) with one another we are the best of friends. Harmoniously giving and taking from each other, yin and yang type feels. But in an instant like a timer has been placed on us we switch and are back to being the volatile mixture we both dread..
I just don’t get why, how, and what is going on.. but the worst thing about it all is when we’re apart I feel like the hugest part of my happiness is absent.. i feel extremely alone and never could i find a replacement for him.. i just wish with all my might that we could work for longer than a week- hell at this point longer than 24 hours before turning friends into foes.
This is by far the most complicated relationship I’ve ever been in, the most emotionally difficult and frankly draining situation I’ve ever had to deal with with the most split I’ve ever felt: because one large part of me knows what we need to do, and the other even larger part of me (the fighter, the never-give-up side) is firmly committed to making this work. I feel like we both have so much to realize before it ever could even begin to work properly.. not to mention all the family, on lookers, and naysayers who are judging from the sidelines saying let go, give in, move on, other people out there…
Idk I just wanted to vent and secretly I hope he might see this so he could know where my mind/heart is at while we are in another non communication spell.. don’t know if this is it or if we’ll be in each others bed by tomorrow night but if you made it this far thank you for reading my personal plight and please send good vibes my way for the best possible outcome…be it if it’s painful or not.. i just want happiness and peace for both of us in the end because we both deserve it.. and our unborn child deserves happiness and the most saf, loving environment to be able to thrive in as well… thanks goodnight Reddit.

It was said. There is no going back now. The damage was done. All the promises made. The time spent in each others arms. The late night movies, the good morning calls. All of it. Gone. The words can’t be unsaid. The hurt can’t be unfelt. The wound can’t be sewn. You were my everything. I would have gone through so much hurt to shield you from the pain that was right in front of you. I did. But the words are out now. I tried so hard for so long to pretend it didn’t hurt. I tried to pretend like it wasn’t eating away at me inside. I wanted you but there was no you without her. The life I was waiting for was nothing but a fairy tale, told to a child who didn’t understand how she could love someone so intensely and it still not be enough. Kids grow up on Disney movies. That’s the first view into “true love” they have. There are hard times but in the end everything works out for love. For true love. Disney fucking lied. And this is no fairy tale. Reality isn’t so pretty and it isn’t wrapped up in a nice little bow. He was Prince Charming. He was intelligent, gorgeous, and the perfect gentleman. He cared about you, was there for you, loved you. He was everything you had ever hoped for. He was perfect. But here’s the part Disney doesn’t show you. He got comfortable. He stopped trying as hard. As time went on and things became tougher, he wasn’t your Prince Charming anymore. He doesn’t show you the same care. The same interest. The same intensity of love and longing and passion. The late night movies stop. The good morning calls stop. The fire he once had in his eyes for you stop. Life has beaten him down and down and down until he had no fight left to give. A piece of him died. And it took the best piece of you with it. Broken, depressed, scared, sad, confused, on how something so beautiful could cut so god damn deep. But he’s not all gone. That love remains. The embers are still there. A glimpse of who he was, who you were, who they were. Just enough to hold on. Hold on and pray that those days would come back. That one day you would open your eyes and he was there. Just as loving. Just as caring. Just as perfect as he once was. Your Prince Charming had come home. But this isn’t a fairy tale. Those pieces are gone and that little girl is devastated. Crying on the floor left wondering why, WHY? Why? But there’s no going back now. The damage is done. The fighting has stopped. It’s over. It’s really over. He’s gone.

I just finished the campaign and had a few multiplayer matches. This is my review, please be advised spoilers below.
Story / Campaign:
I started playing on medium dificulty, didn't want to rush through the story, but not make it a struggle either. The campaign starts with the Mothership emergency launch, after something managed to weaponize hyperspace. This really set the mood right, so off i went through the campaign and managed to finish it in 6 hours which was a disappointment in itself. I wanted more, it can't feel like an epic journey if you just go through it. Resources are plenty, so most of the time i just threw everything at the enemy. Only later missions require some planning and careful tactics. I missed the careful planning i had to do in Homeworld 1 and the feeling that every ship is important - repairing and docking damaged ships. In Homeworld 3 if you loose ships, it's okay, the resources are there. Also it feels like you are in a nonstop rush (lorewise it makes sense) to achieve the objectives. Otherwise i like the diverse missions that the megaliths / terrain can provide. Sometimes it feels clunky, yes, and i would have loved a few missions in open space, after all this is the void, but the campaign gameplay, while short, is good.
The story and the universe in itself is a huge disappointment. We're basically left with the Hiigaran and Incarnate factions alone. The Kalan Raiders are present for 2 missions and you forget about them quickly. No Bentusi, no Taiidan, no Vagyr and no Progenitor - we swim in Progenitor megaliths yet not one ship or stations active: no Keepers, no Movers. Considering the gates colonised space and this was a Galactic threat there would have been plenty of opotunities to introduce some allies and other factions. Instead it's just you and the Incarnate. No explanation to who built the Planet Killers, no real connection to the galaxy you are trying to save. Homeworld 1 gave you the feeling of a living universe, that things happened behind the scenes. I remember arriving at Karos and being amazed at the old destroyed ships and the story behind them, the junkyard dog.
Cataclysm as well made you feel small in this galaxy of Big Bads and you had to deal with a literal monster. While it introduced no new races (ships), it expanded those in Homeworld 1, gave context and made the Bentusi even more mysterious and alien.
Homeworld 2 focused on the Cores, so does Homeworld 3, the magical hyperspace cores, which seem to activate everything in this galaxy - far jumping, Sajuuk, Eye of Aaran, the Pro Plus mode of the Hyperspace Network. The main villain of Homeworld 3 makes no sense, if she seeks the Cores, she could have done so earlier, especially with that tech behind her. Since this is focused on Hyperspace it could have been a good idea to have a Beast cameo at least.
The ending is just as lame as the rest of the story: Karan and the Queen being together in Hyperspace afterlife or whatever - The queen killed billions just because (the story doesn't show why and how it would have helped her plans) and yet Karan will be with her together. Come on.
Also if there will be expansions (i hope they will), can we please stop with the Prophecies and magical artifacts? Let's go to HW1 style politics game. Depending on how far the Khar-Kushan is from Hiigara, a good story might be the way back - since the gates are down and they have no far-jumping cores. Maybe implement branches of alliances with different factions. Bring Back T-mat.
Graphics and Audio
Amazing. Simply put amazing. You are in the middle of the battles, battle chatter, weapon sounds, ships exploding everything on point. The asteroid mission and the volumetric lightning made it 10x better than it actually is. Love it!
Gameplay
While clearly i hated the campaign story, i enjoyed going through it gameplay wise, especially the later levels where you had to plan and use ships wisely. Some bugs yes, where you have to insist with the orders, as ships refuse to aknowledge them, but overall i am happy. At least in large battles you have Interceptors as cannon fodder, cloaked bombers to surprise a high value target, frigates are there to hold the mainlines or snipe from afar, along with destroyers, while battlecruisers dominate the battlefield. I find no ships overpowered (the BCs seemed a bit too much in HW2). Not much on the corvette side (maybe they wanted to limit the strikecraft count), just Railgun Corvettes - which are like corvette bombers - the ace in the sleeve - but often they are a one time use only.
Multiplayer-wise the maps seem too small for skirmishes, it's just so easy to rush. The megaliths do provide some interesting takes, but also make things clunky when your ships choose to go the other way around.
War Games i like so far although it is heavily dependent on your crew. Wait a bit too much and those destroyers will send you after Karan. Also the artefacts should be able to be selectable before starting - otherwise it may be just luck that guides you through.
Conclusion
Minus the story (which is an important part for HW and for me) this is a good game. I can't wait to see what the modding community will do - imagine skirmishes with all those races - Kushan, Taiidan , HW2 Hiigaran and Vagyr, HW3 Hiigaran and Incarnate - and others. In epic space battles!

Tl;dr : I've hurt my best friend of 2 years but I don't know what comes next an apology or what are the steps to rebuild a relationship. It's the first time something like that ever happened in my life and I'm really lost on what to do overall, how to face the situation, and, ultimately make amends.  
So, for context, 2 weeks ago my best friends put me up for a night because I had a medical appointment but no way to easily return to my house the same day. She was deeply sick – which required for her to visit emergency services the day before – but I didn't even bother to take some news of her and ask her how was she. Then I went to her house like nothing happened instead of canceling my visit, which could have been possible – I knew other people who could've helped me.  
I don't know what went through my mind but that was really stupid, I feel so ashamed of what I did I can't even describe it.  
I apologise about my behaviour a week after, I knew I did something very bad and I wanted to do it properly, but I didn't even apologise for the rights things ! I wasn't aware of how bad I hurt her and what I've done, so instead of apologising about not canceling and not taking news of her, I apologised for coming late or doing to much noises in the morning... She had to explain herself what I did wrong which didn't lessen my shame.  
Thus, in her response she explained to me how bad I hurt her and what I did wrong. Then she said that she forgave me but she'll need some time to herself (especially far frome me), process her disappointment and how inconsiderate and selfish I was. (Which I totally understand, I don't think less about myself at all.)  
Here I am now, waiting for her to comeback, but I really don't know what comes next after an apology ? How are de supposed to move on ? To be honest, I feel unworthy of her forgiveness, I'm so afraid of hurting her again I feel like throwing up. I don't even know why she doesn't hate me as much as I hate myself. I didn't even noticed I hurt her, how can I prevent doing something similar in the futur ? I'm terrified, I don't want something like that to ever happen again...  
But in the other side, refusing her forgiveness is like a million times worse. I don't know if that's the right mindset but I will do everything I can to "proof" her – and myself – that she made the right decisions.  
Besides, I feel like a terrible impostor with my other friends, as if they are not seeing the real me. How would they act if they knew what horrible things I've done ? I feel like I should tell them all what happened so then they can decide wether they want to stay friends with someone like me or not. That's the first time something like that happened in my life and I'm really unsure of what to do ; what are the steps to rebuild our relationships ? How can I ever tell her again that I love her and that she means the world to me when my actions speaks the contrary ? I'm so ashamed of myself I want to crawl in a cave and to never come out again.

Day 0!
5/13, total lap, took uterus, cervix, tubes, and did a bladder check. Edit: both ovaries intact.
I checked in about 840, surgery about 1040. One final pregnancy test. The staff was amazing (except the anaesthesiologist was a bit of a dick to one of the nurses, I didn’t like that-I think I might be reporting that… but he was fine to me). Even my gyno who I wasn’t a fan of during our appointments, I could tell surgery is where she was meant to be. I met my OR nurse, anaesthesiologist, and my gyno/surgeon in pre-op where every single person (plus surgical day care nurse) went over everything with me again and again, and ensured I was comfortable with what we were planning to do, and confirmed that barring any issues, my catheter would be removed during surgery, and then a camera check up the urethra and into the bladder. There was a slight hiccup in something in the lab with my pre op blood work where they listed me as a c section (ABSOLUTELY NOT) and something in the test regarding transfusion expired within 3 days and I did my pre op Thursday. I was worried it was going to delay things but since I have been fortunate and never had a transfusion (and the surgeon believed me and didn’t want her day messed up, plus they had the Thursday results) they called the lab, they were there super quick, and it was drawn up then I was wheeled in to the OR. Once in the OR they had me transfer onto the table, got me situated, introduced the surgical team, and my surgeon went over everything one last time while I was still conscious and made sure everyone was on the same page and ready to go. I was given oxygen and told to take a few deep breaths, and then they started pumping meds into my IV and I was out.
From what I hear (my surgeon called my mom/pickup person) it all went like clockwork. I was out in under two hours, into recovery to wake up and when I came to, three nurses (or health care workers, whatever their role, but I think RNs) were chatting about me near my bedside on how I had a lack of requirements before I could be discharged. I don’t think they realised or expected me to be awake so quickly but I said I had been told that as soon as I could walk to the bathroom and pee on my own, I could leave. They looked a little shocked. Not sure if because I was awake or because I knew what I needed to do.
I did say in recovery to my nurse that I felt like I needed to pee, but they wanted me to wait until the hour was up in recovery and I was transferred back to surgical day care.
Once I was in day care I was given juice, digestive cookies and my phone and started texting my mom, who was right outside, and said I was back to where she could come see me. The person at the desk at the front tried not to let her in and said I wasn’t back yet (not sure if there was a lack of communication or no) but mom insisted I was texting her and telling her I was back, and the woman from the desk had to come in and check for herself that I was back… and asked my nurse-who was again nearby-and I heard the front desk woman muttering and said something about “her mom”. I piped up and said don’t try to stop her from coming in, she won’t go away and she would get in either way, I’m texting with her now. The woman didn’t like that much, but my nurse laughed and okay’d her coming in.
Nurse back in day care listened to me pretty quick, did her checks and made she I could sit/stand and disconnected my IV line. She walked me to the bathroom to make sure I was okay. I peed without issue-it was a bit tender coming out but no burning… but man. Maybe bring your own toilet paper. That rough stuff is even rougher when you’re sensitive😳
I felt immediately better cause now I knew they could let me out once my final hour in recovery was complete. Another glass of juice, some more post op checks done, and I was able to get my IV out. (I know most people wouldn’t like IVs but it was a huge hang up for me… my veins suck and it was tender and once they confirmed I could leave I wanted it GONE.
Passed the rest of the time chatting, going over discharge paperwork/instructions, then I was given the official go ahead to change and leave. Slow going, changing, and man the hospital pads are atrocious (and no wings?!). I peed once more, hating the toilet paper but loved the mesh ish shorts they gave me and asked for a couple more, and they gave me two or three more. I was allowed to leave just after 230pm.
I was able to walk out of the hospital on my own two feet. Slowly, but walking and being upright felt much better than sitting. The nurse said it was allowed as long as mom was right there (which she obviously was) in case I got dizzy. We walked out to the front entrance (elevator, no stairs of course), and I stood at a safe spot where I could sit if I needed to, while she went and got the car from the far side of the lot. I probably could have walked it, but it was slow and didn’t want to chance anything.
The ride home was a bit rough-I forgot my pillow and I think that would have helped. Held my hands/palms onto my lower belly for some support. It was manageable, I wasn’t crying out in pain or anything, but definitely internally felt every little bump despite mom trying her best to avoid them.
I’m staying in my own apartment, (parent’s offered me to stay at theirs but I’m far more comfy in my own place, and no stairs) my dad’s sleeping on the couch while my pup is at the house with my mom and their two dogs. So far I’ve been able to manage on my own but it’s nice knowing he’s here incase I need something. When I got home, much to my dad’s chagrin (he wanted to do it for me), I made myself buttered toast, had an ice cream sandwich, some arrowroot cookies, a Tylenol and after eating upright and walking in circles a bit, I went to my bed with my heating pad, pregnancy pillow and about 8462619 other pillows I adjusted as needed. I’m very happy I had a pregnancy pillow. I was debating getting the wedges but decided with the option of Amazon same day/next day delivery, if I changed my mind it wouldn’t be long without it.
Obviously there’s more internal room now, but a heads up-I’ve peed a few times since getting home (it’s near 1am) I have noticed that “hmm I need to pee” turns quickly into “YUP GOTTA GO” when I stand up. I think that little bit extra gravity assist hits when I stand. No burning, still just a bit sensitive, but I bought a peri care bottle with a nozzle on it and is it a game changer. The hospital gave me one but it didn’t have an angled nozzle, which to me is useless unless I want to climb in my shower every time or end up with water all over my floor. First time I used it, I just rinsed with cool water multiple times as it was soothing (not going into the vagina).
There’s been very little blood so far-some spotting but not much.
The pain? Feels like a concentrated day 2 of my usual bad periods, with low back pain (helped greatly with heating pad). Like most of us here… we’re used to heavy pain so it’s not all that unbearable.
I was given tramadol, and didn’t take my first one until 9pm. Didn’t love the feeling. And my limbs started tingling which was weird. That’s supposed to be a withdrawal effect. But my body doesn’t handle drugs well so could just be me. I’ll see what happens later in the night if I need something else, I’ll take it. But so far the pain/discomfort is reminding me not to sleep how i normally do-on my side with my leg up toward my abdomen.
I’ve got my naproxen and Tylenol that the pharmacy okay’d me to take instead of Advil and Tylenol.
Forgot to mention-my throat is a bit sore, but not nearly what I expected. Feels like I just spent some time around a campfire where the smoke randomly followed me. One Halls seemed to help, and of course, ice cream sandwiches 😂.
And now to wait for meeting the real me after 20+ years of being on oral birth control… should be some definite hormonal swings during recovery plus that, but can’t wait😂🤦🏻‍♀️

I (26M) recently discovered that my girlfriend (24F) might still be in contact with her ex, and I'm not sure how to approach the situation. My suspicions arose on her birthday when she got excited about a call from a work colleague. Given my history of being cheated on, I was already sensitive to such things. Later, I saw an Instagram notification from her ex on her phone, increasing my concerns.
When I asked her when she last spoke to him, she claimed it was before we started dating. However, I checked her phone and found they had been interacting intermittently over the past year while we were together. Their interactions included liking stories and brief "how are you" messages.
What really concerned me were a few messages where she initiated conversations, saying she missed him and wished he were at an event we attended together. She explained this as a cultural way of speaking from his country. They also mentioned meeting up when he visited our city, though she claimed these were just empty agreements they never followed through on. Another message had her joking about starting an OnlyFans account due to AI taking over, to which he responded non-flirtatiously.
When I confronted her, she accused me of invading her privacy and said this was traumatizing for her. She also claimed her ex was depressed and that she was just trying to cheer him up when he posted worrying stories. Their relationship lasted seven months and supposedly ended because they didn't have much in common, though I suspect it might have been because he moved away. She always spoke kindly of him, which adds to my suspicions.
After our first fight, she said we should only discuss this once and that I should trust her. Not wanting to hurt her, I was willing to believe her. However, before we slept, she deleted all the texts between them as well as a message to a coworker she had described as flirty, where she commented on a story saying it was a thirst trap and he repeatedly called her "pitchoune." The next day, I couldn't get it out of my mind. When I questioned her, not about deleting the messages or the coworker, she got angry, saying I was being hot and cold and that I didn't want her to talk to any men (which I hadn't mentioned). She then left the house.
During that time, I decided the evidence I saw wasn't damning enough and that deleting her texts with her ex was irrelevant because I believed I saw everything. As for the coworker, the text was in French, which I don't fully understand, so maybe it was okay. We talked things out, but now I don't feel okay seeing her texting or just being on the phone raises my heartbeat. She also started badmouthing the coworker, which didn't sit right, and I don't know what to do.
I'm really struggling to understand if I'm overreacting or if my concerns are valid. She lost her virginity to me, so I feel like cheating should not be in question. Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: I found out my girlfriend has been texting her ex and a flirty coworker behind my back. She claims it's harmless, but I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if my concerns are valid. Looking for advice on how to handle this.

All context is very important here, so please read this entire post.
My friend, we’ll call her Tina, recently moved to a house with her friend whom we’ll call Amy, and Amy’s boyfriend “Dylan”. Tina and Amy both work days, while Dylan has yet to find a job so he’s home all day. Tina brought her cat to their new house, no other pets were present but they have a 3 pet limit. Amy and Dylan wanted to get a puppy, but prior to their moving, my fiancé and I had taken in a pregnant stray cat and Tina wanted to take two kittens, one for her and Amy. This would have put them at the 3 per limit, leaving them unable to get a puppy.
Within the first week of the move, Tina’s cat passed while she and Amy were at work. Dylan told them that Tina’s old rickety box fan had fallen on her, which may have been possible, but it was NOT a heavy fan. Certainly not heavy enough to have done the damage that had happened to the cats head, but they had no proof and no reason to believe it was anything more than a freak accident. I drove to comfort her, and offered for her to take the mother cat as well as the two kittens, as the mother cat had grown to love Tina as she was often at my house. She accepted immediately, no hesitation. While I was there to console Tina, Amy returned home from work and immediately began speaking lightly of the situation, smiling and even cracking a few jokes. Imo, this was very strange to do considering her best friend had just lost a very important part of her life.
Tina’s mom, grandma, my MIL, and a few other people truly believe that Dylan hurt her cat. I honestly do too, but there is no proof and Tina adamantly denies that he would do something like that.
Fast forward to last week. The kittens were ready to go, and having no proof and no real reason to have ever suspected anything, I sent them and mama home with Tina. I was sent photos and videos of them exploring and seemingly adjusting well. My fiancé and I visited them Sunday to make sure all is well, and we noticed a scratch on mama’s shoulder. When we asked, we were told she freaked out at first because she was in a new place sans some babies, and most likely hurt herself during this time. Sure, makes sense.
Well, tonight I received a text from Tina that mama had passed. When she was perfectly fine a day ago. The excuse was that they think she cut herself on the broken wood of their couch, which she could have, but if that were the case I feel like there would have been much more blood. Her back leg looked broken, but it’s hard to tell in a photo. Two healthy adult cats have died within a week of being in their home when only Dylan was there. Leaving them once again able to get a puppy since now there’s only two kittens there.
I haven’t told my fiancé yet as he’s asleep (I work nights) but he is going to be devastated as he loved mama cat (we couldn’t keep her as we have two adult cats already and they hated each other, so this WAS a perfect solution). He is going to want to get the police or animal control involved, but again, there is absolutely no proof of foul play.
My compromise right now is either they give us the kittens back or we get some sort of authorities involved. That house clearly isn’t safe for animals, even if these instances weren’t Dylan’s doing. My question is, is that the right thing to do? What would you all do in this situation? Are my suspicions justified?

Long story not so short is basically went off from work back in October for a physical ailment ( polyps, protrusions etc) , a genetic obsessive compulsive disorder I'm trying to improve / take care of and general anxiety/social disorder. It's been hell trying to get in for surgery , paying for therapy @ $250 a session that's supposed to be weekly / biweekly and affording to live in general when I'm only being paid around 1700-1800 a month a - rent is easily almost half that. So getting into the issue, recently the LTD insurance company instead of continuing to focus on my ailment and mental health progression, is suddenly requesting I now also focus on stopping cannabis consumption all due to the fact I have mentioned to them a few times through phone interviews that its been my method of coping / useage has increased due to all these issues still being prevalent ( daily in pain in my lower regions 😅) they requested I start treating my consumption so I went to a raam clinic and got setup with resources to lower my usage, I found out last week that the LTD actually wanted me to go Into residential rehabilitation not raam to treat my useage , which is completely unnecessary / would be detrimental due to my mental heath / physical situation. So far my raam clinic dr has written a letter stating the residential treatment is not suitable for me , I'm seeing my Family Dr later today to get their support and backing on not needing the residential treatment / to remind LTD that the focus should be my ailment and mental health , because at the end of the day I've been working and consuming my whole adult life and it wasn't a prevention from working . So my question is does anyone know if the insurance company can really force this decision of treatment no matter what?, or if having my drs documentation + raam clinic documentation + psychologist could overturn them and rule out the cannabis factor? So far I've heard two sides being either they can loophole and still say cannabis = more ocd and general anxiety problems and the others saying if they disregard the documentation stating it's not a reason why he can't work, that I should seek legal counsel.

My girlfriend and I are each other’s first significant other. We’ve been dating for 8 years now. It’s been more like a marriage really, we started living together after a few months of dating. We’ve gone through college together and have had shared many memories and life milestones together. From buying our first cars, getting our first apartment, graduating college, landing our first salary jobs. We love each other’s families and get along well. We’re both successful in our careers, and make a decent living. Only step left is marriage right?
In our culture marriage is heavily pressured. Mainly on the men, extra on me since my older bothers failed to find wives. The joke is “I’m my family’s last hope to continue our bloodline.” All my life I’ve been reminded this. The day she met my family she’s been called the “Wife that hasn’t had a marriage yet.”
Since the start of our relationship, my girlfriend has stuck to me like glue. After a few months of dating, I drove her back to her hometown 2.5 hours away from college for summer break. Once it was time for me to go, she insisted she come back with me. I accepted, and we haven’t spent more than two weeks apart since.
I know I love her and she’s a keeper for sure, but sometimes I question if it was ever even my choice. I feel as though we were force married and we did it to ourselves. Our sex life has been mediocre, mostly my fault. It’s just hasn’t been interesting the last 6 years. I think I’m okay with having a one and only? I see how this could lead to problems in the future. Not sure if it gets any easier. I feel like this is an uncommon experience, and we have no to relate to in this context.
In recent years, we’ve had a few arguments. I’ve alway toughen things out, but I’ve bottled up too much over the years. I’m confident there’s been no cheating, but her keeping a secret from me 5 years into our relationship has really damaged my trust in her. Now that the pressure for marriage is at an all time peak. I’ve started reflecting on our relationship as a whole and have started asking myself “Is this even what I want?”, “Am I even happy?”, “How come I never had the butterflies?”, “Why don’t I know she’s the one?”
I’ve tried talking to friends and family about this, but I see it on their face they’ve already taken a side as soon as it’s mentioned.
The thought of this hurts me to my core.

I had a crown put on my right far-back molar. I was expecting it to be two operations: one for the tooth prep and temporary crown, and another to affix the permanent crown. Instead, it was three operations.
In the first one, he drilled down the tooth. During this operation, he told me that the decay on the tooth was so bad that he "had to remove some bone". However instead of leaving with a temporary crown, he put some kind of hard putty on the tooth to mimic the shape of a full tooth and told me I needed to come back for another appointment to get the temporary.
Then, when the time came for the second operation, he was absolutely unable to get my tooth numb, no matter how much anesthetic / novacaine he applied. We ended up cancelling the appointment with a plan to come back later and try again on a different day. On the second try, same problem happened - no matter how much anesthetic he applied I was still able to feel pain. Eventually we just had to go through with the operation, where he had to do more drilling on the tooth, and I just had to sit there and endure the pain. He gave me an oxygen mask to try and help, but it didn't help much. I'm not sure why he had to do more drilling during this second appointment, I guess he didn't finish the drilling during the first appointment? But eventually after all the pain, he fitted the temporary and I left.
Then, the third appointment I got the permanent crown uneventfully.
During this whole process I kept trying to ask questions to understand why it was three appointments instead of two, why I had to get the putty instead of the temporary, and why he was unable to get my tooth numb during the second appointment. They never gave me any kind of a straight answer, just gave me "patient-talk" trying to reassure me that everything was normal and everything was going to be fine. The most information I got was from the receptionist, simply telling me that having to get the putty was "unusual" for a crown operation.
All this secrecy and lack of a straightforward explanation, in addition to the inability to get me numb, makes me think that my dentist simply screwed something up during the first appointment. I'm wondering if he accidentally drilled into my jawbone or something, and instead of admitting the mistake and explaining what's happened, he's trying to cover it up, maybe so that he's protected from malpractice.
Can anyone give me any kind of a better explanation or speculation as to what may have happened here?

My STBXW (30F) left me (35M) 1.5 months ago. We have been together for 6.5 years. No kids.
Our marriage didn't start as a fairy tale, but it kept improving for the first 5.5 years.
There was no cheating, physical or substance abuse.
We were very compatible on so many levels. Never got bored of each other, never ran out of things to talk about. Laughed a lot. Going through lockdown was a breeze, since we both really enjoyed spending time together. We were best friends, true soulmates.
I was confident and secure that this bond would last a lifetime... I knew in my heart, that I would never break it. But it didn't last a lifetime. This loss of innocence is very traumatic, I don't know how to trust someone again after a deep rejection like that.
We had different views and priorities in life, which was always a source of conflict, and both of us were really stubborn.
I can't say for sure, but I think that I was a good husband. Although maybe I wasn't, since good husbands don't get abandoned. I don't drink or smoke. I earned a pretty good salary, kept in shape, always supported her career beginnings, paid for food/going out/bills/rent all those years, always had time for her and for us, found and planned new activities for us. House chores, except cooking, were equally divided. I definitely wasn't perfect and there are many things that I wish I could have done better, especially in the last year or so.
We started arguing A LOT. After about 4-5 months, serious divorce talks started, and after another 2, she completely checked out and left. I pleaded, I begged, but that just convinced her of making the right choice and made it worse. I later realized that she has grieved the relationship in those months of arguing. We both hurt each other so much mentally during that time. I can't forgive myself. It's sad how many men only see the real problems when it is too late. 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. I really saw what our problems were when she left, I tried discussing it, promising to change, which I really meant. But it was "too little, too late".
I feel so much guilt and shame. Received a lot of support from friends and family which I didn't expect.
After she left, she liked my FB posts and we chatted for two weeks. Then it quickly dried down to divorce proceedings. She blames me for destroying our relationship and ruining everything and says that she is the victim here. Maybe she is right? I'm so devastated that I think she is probably right. The only concern is that right before all that arguing started, she read about 5 books on "toxic relationships", "narcissists", "abusers", etc.
And in the last 2 months before leaving, she was reading a book "Why men love bit**es".
It's been 1.5 months now, and all I can think about for 90% of the day is her. I deeply feel that I will never find someone like her again. The though of death is on my mind every other day. If it wasn't for my mother, I would probably end it. Signed up for therapy in two days, it's going to be my first time.
I keep asking everyone for a recovery timeline, but everyone just says "that's very individual". The most common answer seems to be 6-18 months of this purgatory. Cried literally 10 times yesterday, and twice today already. I just don't know how to move on, and most importantly, I see no reason to move on, except to save my mother from the pain of seeing me suffer and fail at life.
Please, can you share your experiences? Have you really, truly considered someone your soulmate, your best friend, and then moved on? How long will I be in this purgatory? I do remember that I was sometimes unhappy in those years. But isn't everyone on some level, occasionally unhappy in a marriage? We don't live in a fairy tale, and that's normal, right? How do I know if I am putting her on a pedestal? Sorry for so many questions.
I still consider her a good person and wish her well, although I am devastated that she left me when I felt in my heart that we would overcome anything and I would never ever abandon her.

This isn’t what it sounds like… this was no typical window, and this was no ordinary situation…
I (27F) am a full time drag performer in my city and one of the places I frequently perform at is a local queer owned and operated bar run by someone who I consider a good friend. It was this past Mother’s Day while I was performing at his establishment, when the freak accident occurred.
I had already done my two numbers, and the cast and I were closing out the show with a silly group number. While I was going around interacting with the crowd, I noticed some people from outside trying to get a look inside through the giant windows up at the front. My first instinct was to be silly and pretend to moon the people outside by putting my butt up against the glass (I was wearing a bodysuit.) Big mistake…
The second my cheeks touched the glass the whole window shattered and came crashing down around me, leaving me pretty much shredded. I had to get rushed to the hospital where I had to have about fifteen stitches, and a bunch of superficial cuts skin glued and cleaned out. They even took x rays to make sure there was no glass stuck inside the big cut that they had to sew shut. I can’t even imagine the cost that I’ll possibly end up being responsible for in all this…
The whole ordeal was pretty traumatizing to say the least. While my injuries may not seem that bad, considering it could have been a lot worse, I’m still reeling from the whole ordeal and I feel like my adrenaline has been going for two days and it’s been difficult to sleep. I also discovered another cut that appears to be really deep, and I might need to go back in for more stitches. I didn’t notice it on the first visit because this particular cut just so happens to be right on the outside of my anus and I didn’t think to tell them to check there. Now I’m sitting here worried and I’m thinking about going to the emergency room again tomorrow to get it looked at. It’s pretty nasty and is more painful than the one on my back and I’m also worried about infection.
I also had to call out of work that night, for obvious reasons, and have been struggling to deal with the pain and discomfort, and I have a busy weekend of work and drag ahead of me while dealing with an injury, if I can even make it. I brought up these concerns to one of my best friends and they told me I should think about taking them to court… I see where they’re coming from but I’m having a hard time considering the place this happened at is owned by one of my good friends, and I wouldn’t want to ruin a relationship over something like this.
I’m also extremely anxious over the fact that it might be considered my fault for leaning up against a window. However this is something that so many people have done here and other venues innocently, and this could’ve happened to anyone. If the window had a hairline crack (which is our current working theory as to why it shattered so easily), what would’ve happened if a customer slipped on something and lost their balance and went through the window? Or even if a child went to press their face up against the window and it shattered like it did to me?
Even though I happened to be the one who appeared to break it, it still doesn’t make sense to me why a business would A) use such cheap glass for a giant store front window in a major city or B) if it was a defect or hairline crack in the glass not have it replaced or fixed. Would that even make it my fault then? I’m grateful to legitimately be alive right now. However this is already causing a great deal of pain and suffering. Not only is it painful to sit or walk or even use the bathroom, I’m also out of a lot of money already, since we cancelled the second seating of the show and I’ve missed work on top of it. Not to mention my brand new costume being shredded and stained in blood, that is now unusable…
So please help me Reddit. What do I do? Am I the asshole? Or do I legitimately have a case here?

I (25M) sleep on my side. This has been harmless for most of my life but now I’m not so sure.
When I wake up in the morning, in many recent days I find that I’ve rolled into my right arm, doubling over the limb at the elbow and pressing down on it with the weight of my chest.
This causes pain in my inner elbow that subsides rapidly after a few bodyweight bicep curls. I don’t notice any pain after the morning, nor any differences in feeling or feeling or function between my two arms (I have a separate muscular asymmetry issue that starts in my neck, but I don’t think it’s related), but I have to wonder if I’m damaging my joints little by little. What are the thoughts of the folks on this site?

My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.

Yes, it’s exactly what you read in the title. I think I have feelings for guy I haven’t met in person. So, a few years ago, I matched with a guy on Tinder. He and I have each other’s social medias, but not one another’s phone numbers. We’ve been messaging each other for a few years on Snapchat until recently.
He and I are close in age,early twenties, and from the same state. He goes to a college a few states away, so we’ve never met in person or when he was back in the same state. In the beginning of the messaging, he and I were consistent with the back and forth. There was flirting, jokes,etc.There were some points where I was more into him and he was more into me, it seemed we were never on the same page. We shared deep personal conversations and light hearted funny conversations. I think he’s really handsome, funny, intelligent, and geeky. And so much more. When I realized my feelings were strong, I tried to make the first move and invite him to my birthday celebration, he respectfully declined and explained that he wouldn’t be able to make it . He had a valid reason, he’s extremely bright(Physics Major, like Math, but Rocket Science) and got into a lab in another state for the summer, great opportunity, so I was very happy for him.
I tried to keep conversations after the fact, but it seems like I just wasn’t clicking with him like I was before. Seems like I was forcing it, and it was very one-sided on my behalf. Having feelings for somebody and having them on all your social media isn’t fun seeing them have fun and just seeing them accomplished things it truly truly makes it harder to keep my feelings to myself. I’m happy for him, but it hurts because I want to be a person that he shares this with.
Me, being states away didn’t help anything it’s not like I would be able to see him or if we pushed the boundary into being something more it would work necessarily. I had hoped though after starting more conversations, yet getting the same results of it feeling like I was bothering him, I kinda just took a break from social media. It’s been roughly 2 months since we’ve spoken. To be honest with you, I think he just forgot about me. Understandably he went to a college that was hours away. He had his friends there. I think his final year of college was this year. He probably even graduated. Which means he’s coming back to our state, his birthday is coming up and I want to spark up conversation by telling him “Happy Birthday” and maybe confessing my feelings to him, if I can’t work up the confidence to confess my feelings that is, I think I should start by offering my number and seeing where it goes from there? Hopefully, meeting him in person!
He’s a genuinely a great person, but I don’t wanna ruin anything we’ve built up to or anything we just have in general. Maybe if I like just wait it out this could just become a fleeting crush, but I don’t wanna stay with the feeling of “what if” . Any advice?

i think i might have a ruptured cyst and i’m trying to get into the gyno for a ultrasound.
can a ruptured cyst cause lower back swelling? i have it on my right side - where i’ve had a cyst in the past that i had surgery for.
other symptoms: sudden lower back pain that is now dull yet somewhat intense, pain in my pelvis, bad nausea, frequent urination, and spotting

My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.

I could use some advice please … I was at Whole Foods tonight at the self checkout. The first item that I scanned was a chapstick. I scanned it and then put it in my pocket because it was so small that it would fallen through. I should’ve used a small paper bag, but it felt like such a waste considering it’s just a tiny little item. I continued to scan my items and had someone come up to me .. She was very arrogant and rude and she said “ we know what you did we saw you put that in your pocket. We saw you clearly put that in your pocket.” Honestly, I was shocked because I’ve seen other people do that and they don’t normally make a big deal out of it if you scanned it. I get it though I was thoughtless. I just didn’t make much of it at the time which I definitely will now. I assume that if i scanned it then it was fine. I was holding it in my hand while moving the cart. I didn’t have it in my pocket to begin with. I said” i just did that because it’s really small and it’s going to fall through. I did scan it, though it was the first thjng that I scanned . Please look at the screen and see that I did scan it. “ She finally looked at the screen and insisted that she still didn’t see it on the screen when it was right in front of her face. I had to pull out the item to compare the bees shimmer “ bees shimmer chapstick “ and put the burt bee’s chapstick in front of the screen for her to finally get it. She just kept saying no no I don’t see it before that. I was like what the hell is wrong with this person?… like are they trying to give me a hard time… She went over to talk to other employees that are all group together watching everything from a far. I felt like I was a new museum exhibition on display. Based on the way they were acting it was obvious that she didn’t clear my name and tell them that I did scan it. It was mortifying honestly because I do my best to try me a good person and here I was being treated badly. I want to go back tomorrow and clear my name. I actually left to the car and then came babecause I wanted to explain to everyone I actually left and went to the car . I decided to go back in but they were closing. The girl at the door didn’t know what was going on anyway when I tried to explain what happened. As I was talking to her at the door, the woman that went at me in the first place was like power walking through the store to hear what I was saying to the woman at the door. I mean, she was practically running to us. I couldn’t believe it.,. I could just see that it was going to turn into a giant fight and I was already stressed out and in a lot of pain because I have fibromyalgia. I just didn’t want to deal with it and said I don’t appreciate how it was handled and left. I really don’t appreciate the way I was treated. I want to know what I should do? I was actually getting to know some people there and now it’s just depressing. I don’t like looking bad and I could tell she didn’t clearly correct what I was accused of. I mean she could have just explained that it was a misunderstanding. She could have said that I probably shouldn’t have put that in my pocket but that I did scan it first. Would you be upset about this too? Should I go and explain what happened ? They were looking at me really bad like it was the story of the year which is ridiculous. It was humiliating and upsetting. I always shop there and probably spent thousands of dollars by now. I had at least 25 items in my cart tonight. I don’t want to be known as a thief or attempted thief..😞 I could really use some advice right now…

TL;DR at the bottom!
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. I've met his parents a year ago and while they're very nice people, his father constantly makes "jokes" along the lines of, women belong in the kitchen, women should wear makeup, women should do the laundry, dishes, ect.. he would see a pretty woman on the street or in a photo with his wife next to him and make comments that would make me uncomfortable but my boyfriend and his family just ignore it. No one laughs and remain silent. Sometimes his father doubles down as a reaction to silence. When it's just me and my boyfriend and his father the chauvinistic comments come out more and a year later regardless of anything I say they just keep coming. My boyfriend usually says nothing, doesn't even look at me or acts like nothing happens. He's told me that in private his mother expresses to him she sometimes hates how her husband talks to her and what he say says about women and my boyfriend says he's spoken to his father which in turn makes his father very angry and even louder and argumentative. My boyfriend's excuse for this is his father will never change so why try.
Yesterday I spent all day with my boyfriend and his family and while his father mostly behaved there were a couple of times throughout the day where he said his little chauvinistic comments and it makes me uncomfortable. I brought this up with my boyfriend today he got incredibly defensive and mean over text saying I'm out of line and what would my expert opinion be to fix this 30-year-old family problem that he's having. I honestly don't give a shit how to fix it. I told him I feel bad for his mother and I'm glad he doesn't have a sister.
I grew up defending myself from this shit and I'm over it. I feel like if I continue this relationship with my boyfriend I'm going to have to constantly endure his father's misogynistic and chauvinistic crap, even if he's saying them as "jokes" that no one laughs at. I'm not interested in this bs, I don't care for it and it makes me uncomfortable.
TL;DR: Heres where I may be overreacting. I'm planning a trip with my boyfriend in a couple months to his family's beach house and I'm dreading the thought being trapped on the other side of the country for weeks enduring his father's little chauvinistic comments and jabs. Am I overreacting by going no contact with my boyfriend for now? I'm just so mad right now I have nothing nice to say. I love him but him getting upset and angry with me being uncomfortable about the situation has me livid. Am I over reacting if I back out of the trip? I've already decided not to go over to his parents house especially if his father's there because I'm not interested in hearing his stupid little comments. I love my boyfriend and I don't want to break up with him over this but it really upsets me that he stays quiet while his father says chauvinistic crap to the women he loves right to their faces in front of him.