How long do livejasmin credits last

My company is remote first which is awesome. I work from home in the beginning and end of the week and go in a couple days in the middle of the week. For me it was a best of both worlds scenario. I have a reason to leave my house a couple days a week and still have a wfh benefit half the time.
I was interviewing for jobs when I was laid off and I ended up getting this one which is a much better fit for my career goals and I’m grateful for that and lucky to be working. It’s a much more relaxed work space whereas at my last company, if you weren’t overworked and in tears you weren’t working hard enough. In this economy, there aren’t many jobs available in what I want to do. It’s one of those departments that gets leaned down first when money gets tight. So overall I’m grateful.
The only issue is I’m the only person who HAS to go in. It’s optional for others but not for me. In the first two weeks it was okay because my manager was coming in on two of the days I was to work with me. Now that has stopped. We have catered lunch once a week and sometimes one or two people show up but usually that day it’s just me and the CEO that day. Honestly I’m itching for more work that falls for what you’d expect within my title but most of my meetings are with IT figuring out how to plug in a computer no one shows up to use, or fixing wifi that only I’m connected to. Or ordering a new piece of furniture for the office that the CEO will think makes it feel “less like an office.” And might encourage people to come in. I get here, power through the little bit of work they’ve trained me on and then basically sit in complete silence until the mail arrives, get that, deposit the checks, and then sit in silence again until someone asks me to do something or it hits 5pm.
The main problem for me is I’m someone who hates to be alone. I just enjoy the presence of other people. Even if we aren’t talking it makes me feel safe. I get very depressed when I feel alone. My roommate and I don’t need to be talking all the time, but just knowing he’s in the house is nice but he works nights. So while I don’t see her all the time we usually have breakfast and dinner together before each of us go to work and it’s just enough interaction to feel connected. I know I feel a little more badly right now because my parent and I who I imagined I would spend my life with split up on my first day. I thought throwing myself into the new company and working hard would help but there’s just not an opportunity for that. I basically am alone in office all day long and now have lost my main source of communication. I’m at an age where all my friends are married or engaged and don’t particularly make time for people outside of their relationships. It feels like a lot of my social interactions have gone from being minimal - moderate to minimal - nonexistent.
It’s been 2 months and I’ve started to realize I think they only wanted to hire someone for this position, not because they needed any real help with what I wanted to do but because they needed someone to come sit here and take up space in the office space that they rented. I feel like if they didn’t have this space I wouldn’t have a job and they’d just let my manager remain overwhelmed. In fact, someone I was on a call with today all but confirmed that. They promise to teach me more things but every new meeting just comes with ordering some more office bullshit. I feel horrible on a daily basis. I would love to work from home more but I can tell they’d just let me go if I expressed that. I feel so depressed being here by myself that I spend half the day crying. It’s been a week since another person came in. I don’t know what to do and I’m embarrassed to tell them how badly the loneliness of the office makes me feel. They can’t force the other employees to come in just because I’m sad and alone, but could they at least let me go home if it hits noon and no one has showed up? I just feel like asking anything about my current work schedule will land me back in the job market and I really can’t afford it right now.
I’m starting to feel very worthless. I can’t even really make friends here. Hell, a couple of my friends from my old company have started taking turns working from home and coming to see me for a coffee break once a week. It’s sweet but I can also tell they’re seeing me decline mentally and I feel burdensome.
I don’t know what to do and how to make myself feel better. Any advice appreciated.

Hi I have done two session. After my 1 st I got overheated in the head and then I felt nausea after. During my 2 Nd I felt very hot but not for as long as the first time. Since my 2!d the nausea has gotten worse and the sleeping , it doesn't end. I just keep sleeping. I give in becusse I am not working right now . The nausea was so bad last night thar when I ate my stomach was pulsing with pain. I dreamt that night of a workplace altercation and popular girls from my high school and feeling so vulnerable . My husband died 2 months ago and I am struggling with intense grief .. all this to say that has anyone had the nausea get worse over the week. I cancelled my appointment with the therapist . I do t wan to stop the healing by should I be forcing myself to get on with things or just give in . When will I feel better ? How long to come down front he session .

Just some background information, me (26F) and my bf (26M) just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. He is from a remote northern Canadian town and we currently live in a city 6 ish hours away and just bought a house a year ago. I am from another province but I have family in the city and drive home 8 ish hours usually around the holidays and long weekends. He is extremely close with his family and often goes to visit at least once a month. Some more context, he works a fly in and out job so I only see him half of the year.
He has asked me to move back for years and I always told him I didn’t want to because I would be giving up everything. I finally feel happy with the life I have built in the city. I have new lasting friendships, a good relationship with my family, adventure, and hobbies (I train aerial arts). I already struggle with loneliness and depression when he’s at work as I tend to isolate myself pretty easily and have to force myself to go out, otherwise I won’t have human interaction for days at a time.
We just found out last week that is dad has cancer. His dad is his biggest role model so of course this has destroyed him. He feels guilty for not spending more time, not being there the last five years, etc. I’m doing my best to be a rock for him when he needs it, but he has left to go spend a few months with his family, which is fine because it’s what he needs the most right now, and I told him I would look after the house while he's away.
Of course now the idea of us moving there is stronger than ever, as he said it’s “a damn good reason to move back”. His dad is taking about leaving him the house, and his mom is talking about how someone will need to move in with her if something where to happen since she can’t look after everything herself (they live on a few acres of land). He has three other siblings, two of them have their own families but they all live in the town. His closest brother has mentioned that he and his fiancée are willing to move in with his mom since they are the only ones without a mortgage.
Of course I love my bf so much, and I never want to lose him and I always said he was the one and we were going to get married. I know it’s selfish, and maybe I’m an asshole, but I would be giving up EVERYTHING to move there. My family, my friends, my aerial arts, my job, everything. My family back home has repeatedly told me not to move there as it’s too remote and we’ll never be able to visit (it’s over 10 hours of driving). I’ve always been a city girl. I like going out to bars, restaurants, festivals, downtown life, having my out of town friends visit, etc. My bf has always been a country boy, grew up quadding, fishing, shooting, etc. I enjoy the country but this is not the life I would have made for myself. I’m not sure that I can be happy there, and I’m afraid of being left alone there with no support while he’s gone to work. My family would never visit and neither would my friends. I want to support him, but I’m not sure about making this sacrifice, but I don’t want to lose him either.
tl;dr bf is from small remote town and wants to move back, I don’t want to because the sacrifice is too much for me. His dad has cancer and now the pressure to move back is on.

Hey everyone!
I’ve posted here before but I figured ide post again with another attempt to make genuine friends as I am having a very hard time making them in person.
I am 24f, I’ve been married for 4 years and I also have a daughter!
Somethings about me that might be relatable :
I love psychology and I am currently working on a B.S in psychology, I love star wars and the office! I love playing video games that are open world and survival like scum I also really like helldivers
I also love taking hikes and traveling! I’m going on a road trip soon and I’m very excited about that!
Other things about me:
I haven’t had a genuine friend in a very long time and have done reflecting on maybe it was something I was doing wrong hence me being the common denominator. My husband says I choose the wrong people to open up to and consider a friend. I refuse to believe that I’ve contributed nothing to the reason why my friendships do not last so therefore I try to be very careful with what I say and how I say it. It’s very hard because I can be rather blunt but I’ve really been trying to work on that.
Ide love to hear any advise that anybody has regarding on how to make friends because honestly I’ve never been good at it and Covid definitely made it worse so ide love any tips and tricks!

I‘ve been a very active player up until the last act, with almost every battle pass completed (just lvl 50, no epilogue) and I have never been more demotivated to play this game than in these last to acts.
So I wanted to share a few points that annoy me to express my disappointment with the games current development.

1. Daily Mission System

Some days you just have a few bad games and other days you just have time for 1, maybe 2 games. If those games don’t grant you enough round wins you can’t complete your dailies and won’t get the “haven’t played in a day so here’s a bonus” buff to your daily missions the next day. Why am I being forced to win rounds to get my bonus XP? For what reason am I being punished for not being able to always get 14 round wins in a day. Old system with mission was better, cause you could complete them regardless of a losing streak.

1. Battle Pass XP

I like the passes and the stuff but often times it feels very slow to get some XP. You get like 4k XP for a game I think? And the later lvls take like 30k to complete, so when you are out of your weekly missions it can take a long time to get a few BP lvls. With every year passing I have less time for gaming and more other responsibilities that I need and want to take care of. Even though I’d still like to complete the pass, it feels more and more demoralizing to do so.

1. Maps

This map pool really isn’t fun. It has been going on for too long and ugh. Even the “we try to give you a different map after you played one too many times” thing is very hit or miss. Sometimes it feels like im rotating games between Bind, Ascent and Icebox only. I still don’t know why we can’t just choose the maps we want to play in unrated.

1. Ranked rewards

I’m not a big ranked player myself. I wanted to try n reach diamond rank and did that in Episode 7. Happy that I got the buddy but how is there no new ranked reward? The same buddy with a different number on it since the beginning of the game I think? That’s just lame.

1. Shop

Worst shop ever. By this point there are way too many collections to justify 4 random rotating daily skins. There aren’t even reruns of old collections. Let’s say there is a new player who likes one of the old player cards from the Magepunk collections, well bad luck for them cause there is no way to ever get that accessory in the games current state. That’s just dumb and very consumer unfriendly.

1. Money go brrr

Obviously Riot wants to make money, duh. But Valorant feels more like “least amount of work we can get away with, for the maximum amount of money” than any other live service game I have ever played (except for Overwatch 2 maybe). I just wish something exciting/fresh/different would happen more often in the game.

1. Radianite

As said, I was a very active player and have many BP’s completed. I sit around 1000 radianite and habe nothing to do with it. Give me something to spend my radianite on other than skin upgrades (maybe let us convert it to Kingdom Credits?)
Feel free to add points or rant back at me if you disagree with one of my points. Just wanted to share my opinion and let out some frustration (Also I apologize for any english mistakes, not my native language)

Long story short, before meeting my now husband I got into a little credit card debt. He comes from money and I just couldn't keep up with his lifestyle. We got married, then I got pregnant and between everything I sort of just ignored the debt. Two years later, I have emails coming in asking for payment. I'm so embarrassed to tell my husband, and I'm currently a stay at home mum. What do I do??? Can I just keep ignoring it? I changed my last name, so does that protect me from anything? P.s his family is the one with money. He has a stable job, but telling him to pay for this debt, would be super uncomfortable and I'd hate to put this into him
HELP

this is something i’ve gone back and forth with for as long as i can remember, but especially since meeting my (25f) husband (26m) 8 years ago.
before him, i was adamant i did not want children. the idea always left me uneasy, made me uncomfortable. as a child i was never the typical play with baby dolls, play pretend mom sort of kid. it made me wildly uncomfortable to picture myself as someone’s mother even as a child. however, my husband is the absolute love and light of my life and loving someone so unconditionally and fully has shifted my perspective over the years. he would be an amazing father and it makes me want to create a life with him that has half his dna.
in 2019 we bought a house. a few months after, despite me having an IUD, i ended up pregnant. i was 20 at the time, we were dead broke (buying a house that young will do that to you), and i was deep in the trenches of my (multiple) mental illness. i struggled for a few weeks trying to decide what i wanted. my husband told me he loved me and if i wanted to keep it, he was nothing but happy and excited. he never pressured me one way or another. in the end i made the choice to terminate the pregnancy. it was an extremely painful decision, but i knew i was in no place financially, mentally or in my maturity to bring a life into this world. it felt like i would be doing an injustice to my child and making a horribly irresponsible choice.
i’ve never considered myself to be an overly sentimental type. i terminated the pregnancy at 6 weeks, it was little more than a raspberry seed. they gave me a picture of my ultrasound at the appointment to confirm my pregnancy and 5 years later, i still have it. it’s tucked away and mostly forgotten about but i have it, couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.
i know now that even though i regret it occasionally or wonder how my life would have turned out, i made the best choice i could have. i was not ready to be someone’s mother. no one close to me in my life was having children yet and i was not ready to be the first to break that barrier and feel the weight of becoming a mother with no one to relate to.
now, three of the people closest to me in my life have had children in the last year and a half and my best friend is currently pregnant. attending their baby showers has filled my chest with this ache and anxiety. like this deep sadness? that i’m not experiencing this beautiful thing and not sure if i ever will. maybe it’s like the most fucked up biological case of fomo but i can’t help the way it makes me feel.
when i think about my husband and i as parents, i see good things but my biggest fear in the world is how much a child would change our dynamic and that there is no guarantee it wouldn’t drive us apart. for context, my husband and i literally never fight. not in the unhealthy “don’t communicate our feelings with each other and let it built into quiet resentment” way, but that we literally just have nothing to fight about. we do okay for ourselves financially, he manages all the bills/budgeting. we have healthy communication and a very affectionate and loving relationship. he is my best friend, i could spend every second in his presence and never get tired of him. he is the love of my life.
but i don’t have any strong examples from my own life of people who have not had their life flipped upside down by having children. maybe their foundation was week to begin with and a child was the draw that broke the camels back, but i can’t shake the anxiety that kids ruin relationships. i know logically this isn’t true, but watching my parents extremely toxic and messy divorce has left a lasting impression on me that somehow the stress of me and my brother existing were largely to blame. all of my friends growing up always had single/divorced parents. i’ve watched from a distance countless couples fall apart shortly after having children. i would rather never have a child than ever ever lose my husband.
that being said, i still can’t shake the extremely foreign feeling of maternal desire. i don’t know what to do with it or how to make it better. i don’t really know why im writing this, maybe just to get it off my chest or get some outside perspective.
TLDR: i’ve gone my whole life not wanting children until very recently i am second guessing my life long conviction and it has left me extremely confused.

I am 32m and wife is 35f in a LCOL area. We both make in the 80-90k range.
I have 90k in 401k, 25k in stocks and 35k in HYSA. So while I try to spread my money out and invest my wife though doesn’t believe in investing because “she doesn’t wanna lose it all” and “thinks it’s all imaginary money”. She has maybe 80k in a HYSA and probably another 20k in her checking account.
I have tried to talk to her multiple times over the last couple years about investing, about compounding interest, about how in the long run as long as she does a ETF or diversified investment there is literally a 0% chance of “losing everything” but she is unresponsive to any suggestions I have.
We all know the 5% HYSA while it is high right now is not a sustainable investment strategy especially while thinking about 20-30 years down the road. Has anyone else been in a situation like this and how did you handle it? Or should I just let her do her own thing? Seems like she is just leaving so much on the table.

A reflection from my recent therapy session.
I've been doing therapy for a little less than a year now with some slow progress. Combined with therpary and some recent events in my life I've concluded on something which has made me forgive myself in a big way:

• Meeting the wrong people at certain points in your life can completely mess with you for a long time -

I had what I thought was a good group of friends in school, but what we got to about 16/17 they all started dating. I wanted to do the same but didn't have much luck. Their solution to stop me feeling like 13th wheel (yeah...) was to stop inviting me out until I met someone. I spent my last year of high school with no friends because of this.
These friendships never recovered from that point. That was 13 years ago and now, none of those people are even friends with each other, their romantic relationships (some of them are in the same relationship from 13 years ago) are their whole world.
When I went to university, I made a new group of friends. And for about a year maybe, things were great! But then they all started coupling up (again I was the single one). Things were a bit different this time, they didn't stop inviting me out but they didn't want to go out anymore. "why would I spend lots of money going to a baclub when I have a girlfriend/boyfriend".
We also never went on holiday as a group, other than me, no one could afford it because they were paying for holidays with their partners.
So my early twenties, became a series of nights in because my friends didn't want to go out.
As a boy in their early twenties, who was a virgin. I felt like a lot of my needs weren't being met. I spent a lot of time on my own when my friends were busy with their partners and when I did see my friends, it was always a night in. I confided in my friends about these feelings and the responses I got were : "dating isn't a big deal" "we don't care that you are a virgin" "you care about what other people think too much" "stop comparing your life to other people's"
Looking back on it now, I can see that I was being gaslit. They weren't really listening to how I felt.
I wanted to be out doing things and meeting new people. I wanted to go concerts, themed parties or conventions. I wanted to go on holiday. Bloody hell, I wanted to meet women, date and have sex! What an outrageous thing for a 21 year old single man to want...
I was made to feel that what I wanted was wrong, that I wasn't allowed to have those needs.
I'm now 30 years old and living in a different country. I've lived here for about 2 years now. None of the people above are in my life anymore. In hindsight I can see that every conversation we had or every "day/night in" we had was initiated by me.
But even now, nearly 10 years later I still feel guilty for: - wanting to go drinking with my friends - being interested in things my friends aren't - being attracted to or wanting to have sex with someone
Even being in a completely new place, the effects of those friendships still haunt me. Because of those unhealthy relationships, I'm 30 years old and I don't know how to express my feelings or desires. Or make close healthy relationships.
So yeah, that's a bit of my life story. In summary - Meeting the wrong people as a teenageyoung adult completely fucks you up.

I’ve never used dating apps or anything in the past, but I’m also not meeting any new people as much as I was when I was younger, and I work in a male dominated industry, so I don’t think finding people at work is a suitable option.
In regards to the relationship, I couldn’t leave because of financial ties but the relationship had been sexless, loveless, and she basically didn’t acknowledge me for the last 3 years, so I’m not seeing it as too soon to look at dating again
Anyway, I work quite a lot, and weird hours, so I don’t wanna seem uninterested if I try to arrange a date and I have lots of nights I can’t do it because of work, I just feel like there’s so many things that have changed in dating too, like how do dating apps work, and how do I find people that aren’t just looking for a hookup?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, sincerely a very confused man who’s clearly been out of the dating world for too long

Me(31 M)and my gf(32 F) have been together for almost 6 years. We were long distance the first 4 years of our relationship. We lived on different states and we lived about 3 and a half hours away from each other but I visited her a lot. I then moved to her state when she gave her birth to our baby about 23 months ago. I left my job but I maintained a pretty good relationship with my boss and he told me I can come back whenever I want to work a couple of days whenever I need an extra buck. I started doing that pretty regularly when we moved to our new apartment January of 2024 and the rent/ bills quadrupled for us since we were no longer with roommates. In April I decide I want to come to work at my home state but I bring our baby with me to give my gf a break and make things easier for her. The entire time I was in my home state, she argued with me about weird things and even accused me of cheating. She accused me of cheating not just 1 or 2 or even 3 times, she literally did it about 20 times. She was also accusing me of weird things like having a fake social media account and following her friends. I never did these things, I never even thought about cheating on her, so all this just didn’t make any sense to me. The entire time I was in my home state, I felt so weird and like something happened. I then get back with our baby and things seem pretty normal. There’s so many details in between now and when I find out she’s cheating but I dont want to make this much longer than what it is but pretty much I find out she’s been cheating on me. She told me she met up with the guy twice and had sex with him 4 different times but that she never wanted him and the reason why she cheated on me was because she was so convinced that I was cheating on her. And also one those times she met up with him was 3 days after I get back which is when I found out. As you can imagine this has been very difficult for me to accept and having a baby be involved in this just makes it even more difficult. It makes my blood boil as well when she says that the reason why she cheated was because she thought I was cheating. I literally get so mad whenever I hear that because I never in almost 6 years have even thought about cheating on her. She obviously feels bad and she says she wants to be with me but the trust is destroyed and it’s been a very difficult last couple of days since I found all this out. She’s pretty much not accepting that the relationship is over. She keeps forcing things and saying that we need to fix this and that breaking up is not the answer. She even has scheduled a therapy appointment because she’s all in on becoming a better person for me, but I just can’t forgive her for what she did or forget that she did what she did. Us having a baby makes things so difficult because I can’t cut all contact with her so I can really heal from this situation. I’ve been in my home state since I found all this out and I really miss my baby. I tell her that this is the beginning of the end to our relationship whether we end things today or in a year from now because I will never see her the same again, but she’s not taking no for an answer. I then get really upset and start talking to her pretty nasty which I really want to avoid doing but she just keeps pushing it and getting all these nasty feelings out of me. And it doesn’t make it any better when I tell her that I can’t believe she did that and what she tells me every time is that she cheated because she thought I was cheating and that she was going through a lot for a little while and thinking that I didn’t want her or thought she wasn’t attractive ….. which is literally fucking ridiculous, because to me she’s so hot and I tell her that all the time. This situation has been extremely frustrating to me and idk if I’ll ever believe her or even see her the same regardless of what she’s saying and how she feels and how she’s “trying to fix” things.

Long story short, my ex w/ diagnosed (severe) BPD did an abrupt 180 and dumped me last spring after 5 ish years of being best friends/together, and right before we were supposed to move in together (marriage discussions were ongoing, etc). They accused me of physical and emotional abuse and other things like saying I was the only person who made them feel like killing themselves, etc. Lots of fallout after that, I landed in the ER and then an IOP, did lots of therapy and got myself recalibrated (diagnosed with PTSD), and eventually stopped letting them gaslight me and cut contact last July.
I haven't blocked them on social media, but I did mute them and don't see their insta stories i.e. I consider choosing to not look at their socials EVER a therapeutic exercise for me (vs removing the choice by blocking them). I have no delusions about this person, I don't want to talk to them, I don't want anything to do with them, and I am very aware of how severely I was mistreated, emotionally abused, etc. I have empathy for them to an extent... but limited. For a while, they appeared to be on a similar trajectory of having muted me but not looking. Then I saw them show up in my story views a couple times between september and February (on dates that were important to us, like my birthday). I wasn't thrilled but I was like whatever your hole to dig buddy.
In the past couple months tho, I've noticed a sharp uptick in how many times this person shows up in my story views. it's been at least a couple times a month, and up to 3 times per week (if I post that many stories). I was planning to be an adult about things cuz blocking someone seems both childish (and ineffective) to me, but the frequency with which I see their name on both my private and my band's (public) account stories is starting to weird me out. If I abused them the way they said I did, why look at my profile at all???? And why leave an etrail that I can see? They could easily just stalk me without clicking on my stories and I'd never know.
Part of my motivation in not blocking them(besides the fact that it would be ineffective) is that it can't be healthy for them to look at my pages and blocking them from easy access would be an act of kindness I dont feel like extending at this time. But on the flip side...seeing their name regularly is starting to weird me out, and I legit cannot understand why they'd be donig this and leaving a trail. Right now my rule is they will get instantly blockd if they ever like/comment/react/IM me on any platform...but idk i am definitely starting to feel paranoid
Has anyone else ever had a BPD ex act like this? What happened??? we ended on such abysmal terms i'm just really at a loss.

Hi all,
My grandfather is ill and has a year or so left (Alzheimer's and a heart disease) and I would like to spend one last time with him. I am getting a note from his doctor in Ecuador explaining what he has and how my presence is needed.
I found out about AP recently and wanted to ask, 1) after I submitted all my required documents to USCIS, how long will it take them to approve my AP? 2) once approved, can I choose the dates to fly to Ecuador and for how long I can be there?
*ideally I would like to get approved in 6 months. Anyway I can do that? I’m ok with 3 but 6 Is ideal due to work
Thank you all in advance.

So just for context, I like to do creative writing exercises by trying to string along connections between fictional characters that have no connections, I've seemingly incidentally come to the conclusion of something about Courier 6 and The Lone Wanderer.
I'm not gonna beat around the bush beyond that. I will explain what my thought process is. I'm going to explain why Courier 6 is a con artist, and the Lone Wanderer is the beginning of the story of what would become the West Coasts most dangerous Mailman. A hero who truly lived long enough to become the villain in a world of his own making.
The Lone Wanderer, and why his character is designed to have a sequel story.
Upon completing Project Purity, certain things to note happen in the general Lore of the game. The Lone Wanderer is confirmed to have purified the wasteland upon delivering the G.E.C.K (keep note of this entire sentence), and also confirmed to have lost his Father and Sarah Lyons before the time New Vegas is taken place. The Dialogue of the Lone Wanderer is unique because people actually are consciously aware of his fame due to Three Dog's radio station. James alludes to this in dialogue. In fallout 4, Megaton is alluded to have been destroyed.
This leads me to believe the Lone WandereCourier 6 may be the same individual, due to James' untimely demise, would lead anybody to be stricken with severe mental illness. (I KNOW ITS A REACH BUT HEAR ME OUT)
Let's discuss Courier 6's past
His earliest known accomplishments is being a Postman for a California based Mailing Company in the early 2280's, now traveling across the entire nation (extremely treacherous, yet not really a sweat for someone as powerful and dangerous as loss-stricken Lone Wanderer). The violent actions of the Lone Wanderer are yours to create as you play the game of course. Same for New Vegas. What leads me to believe they are one in the same is due to Lonesome Road, Ulysses alluding to some sort of "Talk" about the man that is the Courier. There's also the idea of how the Courier traveled the Divide with a straight up nuclear weapons detonation device.
It's literally stated by Ulysses and even your OWN BRAIN that YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. Responsibility is a common theme in dialogue between people of importance in the stories and the Lone WandereCourier 6. Why? Because the Lone Wanderer was abandoned by his father, and lost his mother during child birth. The loss the Lone Wanderer has experienced, as a staunchly well esteemed vault dweller (passing all exams, escaped, saved the wasteland from being exposed to the Modified FEV). Dude is a straight up Hero, yet, if we are to assume this character would go on after the end of the story of Fallout 3, what exactly would a man like this do? He'd find a new home, far far away, doing a job similar to what would amount to being his calling (other than annihilating every single thing in his path). Being a Mailman.
I don't know why nobody has realized this but the story of the Lone Wanderer in Fallout 3 is actually a story about a young adult man finding his calling in being a Mail Carrier. Having been dealing with so much trauma, a 19 year old man that is the Lone Wanderer, would definitely have a psychopathy after all that happens. Imagine what it must be like for a man like Ulysses to be from Cali, and meeting the Lone Wanderer (nobody knows what the Lone Wanderer looks like on the west coast, but know OF him.)
Now into the REALNESS ZONE because I wanna explain what I was thinking that made me connect the dots, besides the fact that the idea that being able to set your age in FNV means it's impossible for it to be a sequel to Fallout 3 due to the Lone Wanderer is confirmed 19 years of age. You JUST TURN to adult age by the events of Fallout 3, by New Vegas, that man has experienced a LOT. And that LOT, has got to be all of the events of Fallout 3 for one reason.
Ulysses knows who Courier 6 truly is, but due to amnesia, and Ulysses own psychopathy (recurring theme for people who become exceptionally dangerous and powerful in the Wasteland), and its this dialogue that basically has been in front of ALL OF US the entire time, and nobody has ever known what it actually means. The Courier definitely doesn't, but the Lone Wanderer, if he were talking to Ulysses, I know for a fact that all of Ulysses dialogue would remain unchanged, but the Lone Wanderer would say very different things than what the Courier 6 said.
"Name's died twice to history. If the West thanks you... the East won't, in time. Fall apart, back to the tribes, maybe."
Implying that Courier 6 had a double life, or a life before the current one Ulysses met him. He met him before Benny shot him, but clearly wasn't close in any capacity. Referring to knowing where he came from, and possibly knowing he's the Lone Wanderer. If anyone could get the signal from DC of any news regarding the Lone Wanderer, it is Ulysses (Ulysses' Point in Big Mt. Big Mt. contains many many clues as well.)
"Let the land do the killing for you, that's one of the things you taught me."
Whether the Courier at the time of transporting the Platinum Chip, had either intentionally or unintentionally set off the nukes in his path, the idea of him being completely unaware of it before Benny shot him is completely false according to Ulysses' statement. Basically, whatever was already there; nuclear missile silos, were what would be the land that killed everything for the Courier. He says he taught it to him because, well, as someone who's talked about on the other continental shelf, he must know what he's doing. He must be deliberate in his intention. Maybe it's alluding to this man being not actually a Courier... Maybe...
Courier 6's Brain's Dialogue: "I don't know. I'm afraid the trauma of our separation rendered me quite insensate. I didn't come around until I was safely ensconced in this tank." (separation anxiety is one of the biggest hints in my opinion. Not just every wasteland powerhouse experiences subconscious anxieties of the nature that someone living in a cozy environment would. Like the Lone Wanderer, having lost his father, and mother, and Sarah Lyons, and Megaton.)
"Oh, lovely, we've reached the mindless violence portion of the program. Tell me, what exactly are you - and I use the word loosely - planning?" (clearly there's a separation of intention between the Courier's subconsciousness and his actual actions. That's indicative of someone who cannot fathom responsibility for his actions.
"Ah yes, there's that greed and general sense of malice. I'd nearly forgotten it. What's the plan, then?" (I think this just reinforces everything even more because it's obvious from lines like this that this man has a serious history and even his own subconsciousness knows he did something extremely bad... like nuking an entire trade route in a drunken stupor? Don't believe me? Why does your brainless body say this then?)
Brainless Courier 6:
"I would. And I'd follow it up with an alcohol-and-ant-nectar cocktail every night." (a truth. Without the brain to develop conscious lies, clearly this was what Courier 6 has done before. Must be lots of ants where the Courier 6 is originally from, and intentionally moved somewhere where he could still realistically acquire ant nectar)
More Ulysses dialogue that reinforces the idea of the Courier's intentions being significantly different than the narrative:
"That violence in the sky, had a source. Tracked it. Like following a river current. Left the colors to mark my way, like always, case someone finds them, learns the pattern - the Courier might." (James unintentionally left a paper trail for the Lone Wanderer to follow. His tracking skills are significant enough that Ulysses knew.)
"Not a camp - vigil, maybe. Never claimed it as mine. {More a question}If anyone owns the Divide... {"well..."}your claim is stronger than mine." (sort of a jab at how dangerous you are.)
"Words aren't the only way couriers meet... sometimes it's the paths we walk. But no... we've never spoken before now." (he's seen him visibly possibly many times before they first spoke.)
"You may not know my voice, but we've walked the same places. The Long 15 to Primm... that wasn't the only road you ever walked." (He knows a secret)
"I've been to your home, the place you kept returning to... may not be the place you were born, was the place you gave life to, same thing." (He knows he's foreign to the West Coast region.)
I know this is all a reach, but the thing that cements my idea, is because there is no official dated time for which Courier 6 began his activities. To me, it reads like things happened in a very short span of time, the time between F3 and FNV chronologically is 4 years. Now I wanna provide EVEN MORE hints, because there's so many weird interactions between the Courier and just random people. People even confusing him for something he's not, and it's evident that is the case due to established lore, its not like people are lying, its just purely subtle hints.
(The Courier is initially unaware of the rarity and value of the Sunset Sarsaparilla star bottle caps as Malcolm Holmes says the Courier did not express any reaction upon finding their first one.)
And let me get the Montana Connection to the Courier bit out of the way before people start saying, "uh but he shagged a broad in 2260-something:
"That would explain how they could forget what happened at The Divide... but then there's all this other weird stuff the Courier does remember, like a shtupping he gave a dame in Montana 17 years earlier. (Interestingly, this also establishes a ballpark minimum age for the Courier of around age 30, if said doinking occurred when he was a teenager).
More strangely, (with a high Intelligence stat), the Courier can speak Latin to Silus while interrogating him, but is totally dumbfounded by a phrase in Latin spoken to him by Arcade. (This is all the weirder because the Latin the Courier uses when speaking to Silus is more advanced than Arcade's "Nihil novi sub sole", which -- even without being proficient in Latin -- is fairly easy to figure out from the English words descended from it.)"
And finally, the one thing I predicted just by thinking about all of this. The Courier is a Con Artist. He flat out tells Keith he is one.
And lastly, the ED-E and Courier connection. What is that connection? They both long to return to their true homes, the Courier remarks, "Why do you think I became a courier?" HE WAS ONE WHEN HE WAS HOME, AND HE CONTINUED TO BE ONE AFTER AS WELL.
Any counter argument would be greatly appreciated, however, I believe I've covered all bases without saying Sarah and Sheldon Weintraub are the Courier's/Lone Wanderer's long lost siblings lmao. And also, before people get confused about the Montana Connection, the implication I'm making with that is the fact that going off of specifics like, for example, a Brain Damaged Courier saying he messed around with a woman in a place like Montana, but not knowing what Illinois is, or what Chicago is, or what Denver is. Oh and also, the Latin thing too. His brain was too damaged before he went to Big Mt. where his subconsciousness is fully revealed to be a sorta nihilistic, psychopathic, and bitter as well. The emotion of being bitter in that fashion, regarding violence, greed, malice as a end-all-be-all means the Courier wasn't always like that. He was once a not-so greedy, malicious, and violent individual. To me, everything from that dialogue between Brainless Courier and the Courier's Brain tells me he was once a Vault dweller.

I hate that exist with a loathing. All I exist to do is be Invisible. Constantly searching for even the slightest bit of leisure to just exist as myself. I'm never allowed to be myself. I cannot even grief this without interruption. Everyone is more important. All the tasks and days and other people are always more important- then what I am ...what I need...or have to say. Why do even people talk to me ? Why ask me anything if u will only interupt or respond negatively. Why seek me out only to ghost me each time. Why tell me I love you - yet neglect very obvious cried for help...how is that every single person can watch me going thru this and offer nothing - when I had poured my heart into things. I cringe even looking at myself in the mirror knowing that's the face no one sees. That is the face of someone completely incapable of love and unqualified for real attention. No this is the face that has earned nothing but discust and avoidance. I am all too easy to overlook or categorize negatively.......while I'm being traumatized to the point t I wish I'd die off. Everydta I wish it was today. The only good joy I get is gearing on here and trying make others feel good and even then I'd a slice away at me knowing no one will ever step in to do such things for me ......I'm tried. I don't want to keep repeating this everyday I literally cannot. I can't bear the shame I actually lose my shit bc I'm so traumatized and isolated.....I literally cannot take this anymore .....what is the breaking point ? I cant even function anymore....i hate that i have absolutelyno one i can trust or that understans....i cant remember the last hug i got....the last real encounyer with someone i knew loved me....why am i always - alone !? Its driving me crazy ...everyone thinks there alone ...but i have been alone for uears ongoing now trapped in small town w small minded people who all hate me to deTh i want so mucb to lwave but cant :( :( :( why must i always be where im noy wanted. What does it actually feel like to be somewhere im wanted ? Not tolerated...and made to feel like this ...should be eanred.....that im hard to tolerate and i should just be grateful for being invisible........ the seething feeling I have toward people....I even hate myself for the fact that this is my existence? One at the whim of others who make every effort to convince me that I'm the problem and I deserve this .... my heart aches so much ...I cant bear it anymore....I really am struggling here...why would anyone have to endure this for so long ....why can't the universe send me at least someone....anything ..... I'm gonna crazy with my greif and tsuma before I ever get out of here......I know if I just....get out of here...away from the toxic......I know I'm worth being around d....why can't i get there.......why must I just fight to mentally survive....why can't I find people who genuine like me ? Why can't anyone be honest...and tell me what's wrong with me........

i recently found this show out and am obssessed with it. so, as i regularly do, i will share some opinions i have about the show. i also know it was cancelled early, so i know the story should've been depeloved further.
so, here are my opinions, and in the honor of Jenny Nicholson, i have organized them into a numbered list.

1. reverend putty kinda gets too much credit sometimes. i know its nice he accepts stephanie and they bond, but wasn't it his idea to not let anyone give orel advice? also, the advice he gave orel was terrible. (god's chef) for example. i know compared to some of moralton's other citizens he might seem like a nice guy but he is deeply flawed and hypocritical.
   
2. elaborating on God's Chef, i tend to have a pretty high tolerance to edgy/gross out humour, but Orel impregnating women was actually really hard to watch and i just hoped the episode would be over. the way it's treated as a joke when in Alone they handle the subject matter in a much more serious way makes me wonder if episodes like god's chef were necessary. also i know about alone being one of the reasons they cancelled the show early and it enrages me.
   

3.the egg stuff. just like god's chef, all the scenes with the eggs made me viscerally uncomfortable, the long shots of the chickens about to lay their eggs on season 2 to the egg imagery on season 3, like clay rubbing eggs while making out with mrs censordoll and having that vision of him falling out of an egg (i still don't get what that's supposed to mean, but it felt pretty uncomfortable to watch. some people say it's about clay's oedipus complex but i don't quite get it.
4.I don't know if this counts as an opinion or a plot hole, but in the beginning of the series we see clay watching Danielle pee and then introduces himself to him, getting ignored by danielle. later in the show we find out danielle had an affair with bloberta to get closer to clay, which implies there was something between him and clay at least since shapey was born.
5.elaborating on Stopframe's affair with Bloberta, i just find it so weird that he would have a child with her to get closer to Clay. In the season 1 finale we see how mad Clay gets at the possibility of Shapey not being his biological son and Bloberta cheating, and he doesn't give an f about Shapey. If Clay found out about the affair between Bloberta and Danielle he would be really upset, and more upset at Danielle than at Bloberta, seeing as he cares much more about him than her.

1. Bloberta is not to blame for Clay's alcoholism. I've done a post about this and i think Bloberta is a terrible person for many reasons, but not for introducing Clay to alcohol. Anyone else could have introduced it to him and the same thing would happen; Clay clearly has an addictive personality and it seems like his mother drank and smoked quite a bit as well. We should be mad at Bloberta for the psycho way she gaslit Clay into marrying her and her neglect for her children rather than for his drinking.

7.This is just a random question, but we see Orel running for Pope at one of the episodes in the future. That makes me wonder if he became catholic. But that's just a theory. insert matpat joke
This was kind of an unhinged rant so thx if you read it all. Opinions are also appreciated

This post might be a little jumbled, but I do need to get this off my chest. Finding closure in my dad's passing from many years ago.
It all happened so fast, and I never had time to prepare. I was at home playing video games many summers ago, and my mom went to visit him at the hospital. My mom was taking a long time for some reason. I started getting a little suspicious that something was off, but I shrugged it off. Turns out my first instinct was right.
Then when she came home at night, she called me into the living room and told me he was gone. That's it. No preparation, nothing. It left me in shock, and it's the kind of moment that sticks with you forever. How do you even prepare for something so sudden? You don't.
And then a week later at the funeral, the person in the casket didn't even look like my dad AT ALL. He looked like a haunting ghost mannequin mockery of sorts. Why did I have to take a look? I never wanted my last memory of him to be...whatever THAT was. Just awful.
I've recently requested an online death certificate, so that I can get the address of the cemetery where he was buried. It's been a while since he passed, so I don't remember where exactly (though I still have a vague idea), and I've never visited his grave before since for the longest time I didn't have a car until recently.
But I seriously realize that I've never gotten closure and now is a good time. Just visiting his grave, leaving flowers and maybe having a so called "talk" with him. Talking with my therapist has really made me realize that I've never gotten the closure I needed, and that this is a good step in the right direction.

And I mean an injury where you are required to go to a hospital and a doctor hands U a doctor's note (doctor's note is the most important here).Backstory is that I have an exam in two days I am not prepared for,now before you come with the 'whats wrong with this kid just study and even if u fail nothing major will happen' this exam will guarantee if I go to uni or not,for the last few months ive been having the worst breakdowns ever,caused by personal issues i dont wanna reveal.This has caused significant damage to my studies and I'm tired.Some points to take into account: if I skip this exam with a valid doctors note that actually interferes with how i write the exam,then it's valid,HOWEVER pls keep in mind i also have an exam 2 two days after exam 1 which i absolutely must give because the teacher for that exam was absolutely lovely and she helped me study for it extremely well,I don't wanna disappoint her,contrary to this the teacher for exam 1 was absolutely a nightmare,i wont go into details but he has humiliated me before,one of the reasons for my mental breakdowns.So basically,a fake injury where I have to go to the hospital and get an approved doctors note,but shouldn't last too long that it seems suspicious that i was able to do my exam 2 days later perfectly fine,

If you have taken it, how long were you on it and what was your experience like? Would you take it again if you had to do it over again?
I experienced a blighted ovum at 7 weeks with my last transfer and I only have one embryo left. All of the tests came back normal and there aren’t any signs of a clotting disorder. My RE recommends only taking baby aspirin daily vs. adding lovenox to my protocol, but she will give me the lovenox if I decide to take it. I know that it comes with a decent amount of risk, so I’m just trying to weigh my options and it feels a little impossible.

Chapter 1

Concept art for Sybil
Of Men and Ghost Ships, Book 1: Chapter 17
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First, Carter met an AI who looked like an old-earth pirate, and now he met an alien who looked like an old-earth viking. Well, if that viking stood nearly eight feet tall, had fangs and claws that could put some daggers to shame, and a bony carapace armor seemingly covering most of his vital organs. He wasn't sure if he just had some odd luck when it came to encountering the weirdest entities the universe had to offer or if he was at the butt of some galactic joke.
Carter showed Erik how to use the goo dispenser, to which the larger alien made a face but managed to politely keep any complaints to himself as they both got a bowl and sat down at a table with Sybil's two robotic guards passively waiting not far from the table. As he sat down, Cater couldn't help but ask. "So, Erik, huh?"
Before he could ask his question, the behemoth of a man laughed. "Yes, it's a human name. I was 'raised,' for lack of a better term, by pirates who gave me the name. No, I don't know where I came from or even if there are more like me somewhere out there. Long story short, I got my freedom the hard way, and ever since, I've just been trying to get by in this galaxy!"
That answered several of Carter's questions without him having to ask them. " Get asked those a lot, do you?"
Erik nodded while he tried a spoonful of the much, then looked down at the bowl with surprise before taking another bite. "You could say that! Probably the most common questions I get right after people screaming incoherently or begging for their lives. Not that those are questions, but I kinda feel like they're implied, if you know what I mean!"
Carter nodded cautiously. "Do you get that a lot? People begging for their lives, I mean?"
The bigger alien grinned. "Well, yeah! And more than half the time, I didn't even do anything to warrant it! Guess I'm just too big and scary for my own good!"
Carter made a show of taking a bite of his own mint-flavored sludge. "And the other half of the time?"
Erik shrugged, but Carter couldn't help but notice his grin became just a bit more predatory. "Well, let's just say I don't start many fights, but I sure do end a lot of them! Guess I seem like an easy mark or something!"
Carter suspected it was the "or something" but decided not to push the issue. Instead, he figured maybe he could bring up some common ground. "So, not a big fan of pirates then?"
The larger alien shook his head., "No, I like them just fine! Why, they're just about my favorite thing to test the sharpness of my axes on!"
Carter looked at his dining companion skeptically. "Axes? Really? In this day and age?"
Erik laughed. "Yeah, yeah, I know, they're not the most efficient weapons out there, and I'm not above using some more traditional armaments in a pinch, but I tell ya, there's nothing more satisfying than cleaving through a battle suite in hand-to-hand combat with a good heavy axe! Sides, I got used to them back when I fought as a gladiator."
Carter supposed he should have been ready for a crazy story, but he still found himself surprised for the umpteenth time in one conversation. "Wait, wait, wait... You were a gladiator? Like as in an arena, fight to the death kinda thing?"
Erik laughed again. "Yeah, pretty much! However I ended up fighting monsters more than people. There weren't many pirates willing to get in the ring with me, even with a battle suit, and I wasn't willing to kill any ordinary folk who got thrown in with me. Thankfully, I was too big a draw for them to just execute for refusing to kill normals, though I'm sorry to say they didn't get out of the situation any better than if I had. Still, I've killed more than my fair share of wild beasties! They even managed to bring in this giant wolf-like monster with a bladed tail. It was the size of a moose! I kid you not! I got no idea where they found that monster, but it would have killed me for sure if it hadn't been for Vanessa backing me up. Even then, we were both out of commission for the better part of a month after that one. Well, we might have been fit to go a bit before that, but that was the one that made us decide it would be considerably better for our health if we got out of the gladiator business sooner rather than later!"
Oddly enough, Carter found himself grinning along with Erik despite the nature of the story. There was just something about the guy that made listening to him ramble on about stuff kinda fun. Despite his thick accent, or maybe partially because of it, the man was a heck of a storyteller. However, now that the story seemed to have come to an end, the larger alien seemed to think for a moment before asking his own question. "So tell me, captain, where's the rest of your crew? The only ones I've seen since coming aboard are you and your robotic monsters!" He pointed back at the two escorts Sybil provided.
Carter looked askance at the alien. "I invited two aliens who look like they might be able to pick a fight with a full squad of commandos and come out on top, and you're wondering where my crew is?"
Erik kind of nodded and laughed again. "Yeah, I guess that tracks! No sense puttin' everyone at risk when you don't know nothin' about us, and we won't be here very long, is there? Speaking of, how much longer is my friend's treatment gonna take?"
The word "friend" was a surprising choice. Was Erik just using it as a general term, or did he really consider the kid he'd hauled onboard the ship a friend? Carter supposed it didn't matter. Instead, he figured he might as well find out. "Hey, Sybil, how's the treatment going?"
The girl appeared. "Well, the patient looks like he'll pull through. However, given the nature of his injury and how long it's been since he received it, we cannot save his foot. We're discussing whether he would like a temporary replacement or if he'd rather a replacement be grown in a better-stocked facility."
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Alen looked at the disturbingly attractive woman in shock. "What do you mean you're gonna lop off my foot?"
The woman in red just looked annoyed with him for some reason. "I mean just that. Your foot is too badly damaged to save. I can fit you with a temporary replacement, but that'll come with some unpleasant side effects while you adjust and again if it's removed. Alternatively, you could just wait and have an organic replacement grown at another facility and bypass the side effects, but you will be short a foot for however long that takes. Now choose. It'll determine where I cut through the bone and nerves."
Having just woken up from his drugged sleep, Alen had assumed the surgery was over, but apparently, they were still in the middle of treatment. His head was still somewhat groggy as he fought through the haze to understand and decide. "Um, well, I don't know when I'll be able to get anything better, but...uh...how unpleasant are we talking here?"
The attractive woman crossed her arms and glared at him as if he was wasting her valuable time. "It varies from one individual to the next, but the side effects can range from mild discomfort to occasional sharp pains strong enough to require medical intervention."
That was when another voice spoke up from behind Alen. He quickly realized it was Vanessa. "Is it not possible for you to deaden the pain receptors in the area while leaving enough nerve function to enable the use of the replacement?"
The woman in red shook her head. "Pain is an essential tool, especially if we're fitting him with a temporary replacement. It'll let him know if something's gone wrong. Without it, he could get an infection or even tear something without realizing it. It's better to err on the side of leaving too much sensation than too little. It can always be adjusted at a proper facility as needed."
On the one hand, that really sounded unpleasant. But on the other hand, who knew how soon Alen could get a replacement grown? What would he do in the meantime? "Uh... I guess...if I have to pick one... I'll take the temporary replacement..."
The lady in red gave only a brief acknowledgment. "About time." Then, before Alen could have second thoughts, the world went dark again.
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The girl nodded as if receiving some unheard report. "Well, that settles it. He'll be getting a temporary replacement. It'll take a bit longer as we'll have to fit him with some attachments for the augmatics. A rough approximation puts the remaining time at an hour and a half. We should finish cannibalizing the pirate vessel shortly afterward."
Carter turned toward his guest. "Well, there you have it..."
However, the girl interrupted him again before he could finish his thoughts. "Sir, we've got more incoming. There are more of them, and they're more dispersed this time..."
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Poor Alen! That dude has definitely not had it easy as of late!
My Wiki has all my chapters and stories, including the short series and stories that I write for an occasional change of pace or style!
As a reminder, "Of Men and Dragons" Books 1 and 2 are available to purchase in e-book or physical form. (Both softcover and hardcovers are available!) Book 3 is almost done being edited, so I'll just have to get the cover art and formatting done, and it will be available to purchase as well! Hopefully, in no more than a month or two! (Barring more Amazon drama like last time... fingers crossed!)
OMAD Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09NCPP3PP
OMAD Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQ7FQ1ZJ

I am 19, eh I met this girl a year ago. We met my freshmen year of college and I met her from a video game online. I never experienced love or dated and I was 18 at the time so I said to myself I am ready to be open arms to the world. Things went well as a talking stage until last valentines , when I found out she was liking some other guy online. I was never really afraid to talk about it because it was online and my constant paranoia and her dishonesty led us to fall apart since I was always on edge when she spoke to me, always paranoid why she is speaking. Months after everything was sinking, she blocked me without question and I was constantly ghosted so I just took the sign this was short-lived and she never really wanted me, just the attention.
Months later, from another mutual friend online, they said she wanted to see me again multiple times. I wasn't taking it because I heard when my friend answered to her that I didn't want to see her, then she replied : "Ah well, I hope he cried well when I abandoned him". I then almost a month ago, I decided to contact her because I heard that not too long after she said that, she tried to see me two more times. And I contacted again to see if it was true, why still contact and we spoke again. She spoke about how she thought about me, how she miss me, I said the same back but she also started to ask if I was single or in a relationship because she said she is single.
Anyways, eh, she said she was scared of love and relationships so I said, ok that is fine with me, and I guess she wants to be my friend and contact with me still. And I didn't know until recently, but she is entertaining and in a talking stage with someone in real life. I found out myself by digging a bit and when I confronted her about it since she told me she is scared of love. She tells me that it's none of my business, how I need to leave her alone, how we never were close..
I am just stumped.. I came back to get my answers if she really liked me. How she is in life, and I feel like now since day 1 when I met them, I was used for attention.. I broke out an argument against text to keep asking why if she ever cared or loved me in the first place because how she used to speak to me about meeting and caring and our families. But she ended up saying give it up and sleeping.
​
What do I do? I have friends but I don't speak much so I don't have much around to speak to about it..
Some advice would be nice, what do I do.. she is still in my contact and she is giving me cold turkey after I call her out asking me about my relationship status yet when I ask, the tables are flipped on me and apparently I am crazy for caring to ask about their status in depth. I just wanted to know, because right now I am treated less than a friend. Like strictly on the video game friend, we don't have each others socials anymore either.. Just contact through a video game.
She keeps insisting I block her during the argument, if I don't believe what she says about her caring for me and scared of love. But I am always on guard because this is online, and I just want to know if they are okay still, I think as a friend.. but I am given cold turkey but she keeps asking me to stay and she wants to keep me but I am treated less as a person since what happened. Do I trust my gut and accept shes entertaining and talking with others? Or do I stick as a friend and trust her, I don't know.

I (31 female) have been with my husband (30 male) for 9 years, married for 1. I want to provide a bit of a back story to explain what I’ve dealt with in the past to preface everything that has recently happened.
My mother (60 female) is very warm and giving. From the minute I announced we were engaged, she helped in any way she could. She and my father paid for our wedding venue, and on top of all of that, gave us extra money here and there during the process of planning the wedding. On the other hand, my mom is also a bit of a gossip. If she hears my mother-in-law say something that could potentially hurt my feelings, she tells me. I don’t think the intent is bad, however, she tells me every little thing my mother-in-law says and it often drives me crazy. Some things should be left unsaid.
My mother-in-law (60 female) is a very nice woman but is not very warm. She never really makes my husband and I feel supported during a big life change (like a wedding or buying a house), however, she usually steps in at the 11th hour. The entire time of planning the wedding, she constantly told me what I should do, what I shouldn’t do, etc. She is very traditional in the sense that she believes since I am a girl, my dad had to pay for my wedding, and since she was the mother of the groom, all she had to be responsible for was the rehearsal dinner so anything outside of that was like pulling teeth. She made me feel bad for decorating the dining hall where my reception was saying things like “Why do you care?”, and “I didn’t have to decorate my dining hall this much when I got married” and “No one is even going to pay attention to decorations”. My husband confronted her about this and explained to her that our wedding reception was a blank canvas that needed to be decorated. Nothing is included like it was 35 years ago. She made a bit of a stink and said she didn’t “mean it like that”, but she eventually apologized. Fast forward to the wedding day and she was nothing but nice, very attentive, and even helped me pay for my wedding makeup.
When we bought a house, she kept telling us “Good luck with that” as a backhanded comment, making us feel like we had to suffer because she did or something. She kept asking us who was going to help us move, in a certain tone, which made it seem like it wouldn’t be her and we shouldn’t even ask. Then on the day we moved in, she helped us all day and even stayed late cleaning and vacuuming for us. She also took us out to eat once we were finished.
She seems to do this often where she riles me up, makes me think she will not help, and then swoops in and does everything I ever wanted her to on the day of. My husband said he thinks she does this so she’s not tied to plans or feels obligated to help, but I just think it’s plain rude. Why would you make your kids feel like they can’t come to you for help? Then she tricks us because she ends up helping despite what she said.
Since dealing with this for 9 years, I have learned to brush it off, and when the time comes, I know she’ll help or be there for us. It’s not something I’m used to since my mother is nothing like that, but I have learned this is how my mother-in-law is and for the sake of my husband and keeping the peace, I deal with it.
Now onto what recently happened.
We had both of our parents over for a Mother’s Day brunch. We have done this in the past and typically, our moms do get along. However, my mom usually ends up telling me things my mother-in-law said behind my back because she truly has no filter. It’s like as soon as she has a thought, she says it without thinking. I usually roll my eyes and brush it off, but this time was different.
Our moms were on my living room couch, alone, having a conversation. No one was around them to witness this conversation, and I believe my mother-in-law does that on purpose. I recently got a promotion at work and my mom mentioned how it’s great I got a promotion and she’s happy the raise will give us some relief, especially with just buying a house. My mother-in-law says, “I think when they have a baby, they need to hire someone to help.” My mom said, “Oh, I’m planning to help them as much as I can if they have kids”. And my mother-in-law said she’s terrified to change a diaper and hold a baby because “it’s been so long”. My mom responded and said “Oh, I’m so excited for them to have kids! It’s like riding a bike. Once you’ve don’t it before, you can do it again.” And my mother-in-law said, “Well, I’m scared to take care of someone else’s baby.”
My mother told me all of this was said once my in-laws left for the day. I think my mom intended to warn me that my mother-in-law wouldn’t be very supportive if I ever became pregnant. Yes, my husband and I do want kids. However, why is my mother-in-law talking about what I should do before I’m even pregnant? What if we try and we can’t even have children? Why is this being talked about at all? My mother said nothing about us having kids, and out of nowhere my mother-in-law started making comments about what I should do. Her suggestion to hire someone implies that if I ever asked her to babysit or help in any way, she would tell me to go hire someone because she’s not doing it. Also calling her unborn grandchild “someone else’s baby” is a crazy statement considering it would have the same last name as her. She acts like I’m a stranger. And forget about me for a second, why wouldn’t she think of it as her son’s baby? Her comments are just plain hurtful.
My mom got upset because she would be thrilled to be a grandma and, sadly, we don’t feel that same energy from the other side of the family. I felt this way when we planned our wedding, and when we bought a house. I had to worry and wonder how my mother-in-law would act on the day of the event because all the days leading up to it, she was insufferable. And once the event came, she was fine. But this really isn’t something you should do that with. Having a baby is such a precious and special moment. Why would you make your kids feel like you will not give an ounce of help? No one provoked her to say that. Also, I never would expect our parents to clock in a take care of a baby 5 times a week when they’re retired. It would just be nice to know we can drop the baby at Grandma’s if my husband and I want to go out to dinner. According to my mother-in-law’s pattern, she would probably end up being a wonderful grandma once the baby was in her arms, but I don’t want someone around me who’s not going to support me until the last second.
My husband saw how upset I was about these comments and decided to call her. He started the conversation by saying, “My mother-in-law told me you said you’re afraid for a baby to be in the family because you haven’t taken care of one in a long time?”.
Before he could even explain further or mention the other things she said, she flipped out. She was screaming and crying, and my husband said he could barely make out the words she was saying, but some of what she said were things like “This is why I don’t like being around your mother-in-law. She always twists my words.”, “That’s not what I meant.” “How could you think I would mean that in a bad way?”. My husband tried to ask, “Well then, how did you mean it?”, but she hung up on him and hasn’t talked to him since.
My husband feels awful and now feels guilty, which I think was her goal. She usually never takes accountability and ends up making us feel bad for saying anything at all. He knows I deserve an apology and wants her to know that her words can hurt people’s feelings, but he doesn’t know how to resolve this since she pulled out the “woah is me” card. I also know that maybe my mom shouldn’t have told me what my mother-in-law said, but it also hurt my mom’s feelings because my mother had a very supportive mother-in-law so she was hoping the same for me.
Apart of me feels dramatic to be this upset, but I let a lot roll off my back in the past. I let her say whatever she wanted while I planned our wedding and bought our house. Now I feel like if I ever become pregnant, it would be another rollercoaster of her making shitty comments before the baby arrived (or is even conceived apparently). Both my husband and I hit a breaking point and decided to not let this one roll off our backs. Are we the assholes?