Hi, David here!
Everyone has flaws and imperfections, either physically or personality wise.
Don’t get hung up on things about yourself which may be unalterable.
Don’t always be trying to overtly hide such flaws. The insecurity shown when trying to hide a fault often comes off as being way less attractive than the actual fault itself.
Obsessively trying to hide a fault highlights a person’s insecurity and shows low self-confidence.
In the cases where the fault could potentially have an impact on your performance, it’s often much more effective to directly address the issue upfront, and call out the elephant in the room as it were.
But for the scenarios where the fault is inconsequential, you could choose to address it instead in a more nonchalant manner. If the fault does not matter to you, why should it matter to other people?
You can joke about your flaws, but do not do so in a self-deprecating kind of way. If you joke about yourself in a self-deprecating kind of way, then you are probably hoping that people will laugh with you instead of just at you. And while perhaps funny, this does not make you look attractive.
However, being able to openly joke about yourself in such a way that you are not simply searching for approval from others, shows that you are truly comfortable with who you are.
You can also re-frame a fault as a positive.
Being overly defensive or qualifying oneself let’s someone know that they have successfully accomplished getting under your skin, which may have been their very intention. Completely ignoring such remarks or either responding nonchalantly or with a joke is often a much better response.
There are actually many benefits to having flaws:
When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether.
Especially if the flaw is physical. Internal confidence is a way more attractive than some external superficial flaw.
If the flaw is blatantly obvious, and yet you conduct yourself as if it has no drastic effect on your self-worth, it shows great self-confidence.
Similarly, if others try to actively attack you over a flaw, but you remain nonreactive, confident and well-grounded despite their provocations, you can come off looking even better than before.
Faults can also allow other people to find you more accessible and relatable. People can’t identify and connect well with others who appear perfect.
And finally, learning to overcome certain shortcoming in life is what allows you to build resourcefulness, character and work ethic.
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Adding to that, I just finished putting together my dating eBook "How to Date Any Girl" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
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The eBook is 27 pages long and gives you a practical step-by-step solution to meeting women (15+ years of knowledge put into it).
You can get the eBook by clicking here!
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This book is the result of going out and socializing with girls for over a decade. I have put in there all the fundamentals I have learned over that time so I would really appreciate all the feedback I could get!!
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What are your thoughts? Do you have any tips to add?
Let's discuss in the comments :)
Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
Coach David

“Psst, I see dead people.”
I was already awake by 6 AM, going to sleep early cause of being high does that to you.
Okay, I’m starting to remember now, I knocked out in the middle of the third quarter in Game 3 between the Timberwolves and Nuggets. Admittedly, I was already high as hell while watching, but could you blame me? What an awful performance last night, I was already losing hope by the end of the first half. I’m looking at these stats and I’m wondering how Mike Conley even managed to get more rebounds than Rudy. They didn’t have their head in the game
Honestly thought that today was a Sunday until around 12 PM. It’s easier to think that when you were smoking all morning. I hardly ever smoke earlier in the day, once I start sobering up, it starts leaving me kinda hazy. Thankfully, I was coming off of that as I was heading to work.
I clocked in at 4 PM, didn’t have anything too crazy for work today. It was a wedding reception for 50, wasn’t a really huge one, but hey, it all pays the same.
The only specific instructions that I was given is that I place the food out at a specific time span. I thought it was a stupid idea since it would mean that people wont have anything to eat after awhile. We usually just refill everything up until it’s all gone, this is just some unnecessary shit. And they end up changing their minds about it too once people complained.
I was mostly bored throughout the event. I guess it’s a good thing that it’s making me bored, shows how much this job has gotten easy for me. I helped out my brother set up some events we got later this week. It’s going to be some bullshit those days, but I’m trying to have some hope that it wouldn’t be.
Once the event was over at 10 PM, I started shutting this shit down. I wasn’t trying to stay here longer than I should’ve. I was asking the hosts if I could help box away their dessert or remove their decorations, they think I was being helpful, but I just didn’t want to miss my bus. I wasn’t going to wait a half hour for the next bus.
Unfortunately, they kept on dancing even after a half hour after the event was over. I didn’t bother asking any of my supervisors because they weren’t going to say shit about them overstaying since they’re spineless. And I can’t say shit myself because then they’d ask for someone above me so it’s no fucking use. My brother and I just asked for a coworker of ours to do us a favor by just heading down in the event space at 11 PM to just take all the dirty glasses and lock it up in a room so that my brother could clean it tomorrow. That’s how we get away with not having to stay when guests pull this kind of shit.
I wish there was a fee set in place for guests to deal with when they overstay, but this ain’t that kind of hotel. Even though it should be, we’re literally in one of the best spots to have a hotel at in the entire state, but these fuckers don’t like money it seems. So why do I still work here? Read the third to last word of the sentence before that question.
Song Of The Day: Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us
Looking Back on 5/11/23:
I wasn’t gonna engage with someone in an argument or conversation if she was just going to be spitting out ridiculous shit, so I just ignored her ass. That lady was being racist as fuck, talking shit about my skin tone and hair. Embarrassing as hell to have been that drunk or on drugs that early in the morning.
Anyways if you’re gonna argue with someone, don’t even bother if they can’t argue in good faith. Don’t waste your breath to those who don’t want to listen.
I remember having Canes that day, that was probably the worst experience I had there. I didn’t even finish it, I threw like half of it in the trash due to how bad it was.
“Mischievous shit”, god, I definitely moved on from my ex faster than I remembered. Physically anyways. I don’t even remember what I did that night, it’s not like I would’ve been able to write about it if I did anyways. Some things aren’t meant to be all out in the open. The fact that I don’t remember the full details on what happened that night, well, I do remember some of it. I clearly wasn’t in the right headspace at that time.

I’ve been re-watching episodes where Dr Bailey started out as a mousey intern, full of shyness, and severely lacking confidence, and became the powerhouse that she evolved into when she initially taught each of the original five.
Bailey loved each of the original five as her own children, that’s why she gets so frustrated when Meredith puts herself in these kind of situations. It’s a mother’s frustration, a mother’s love.
Lets examine Bailey over the entire series run.
She loved each of original five as if they were her own children, and thats why she gets so frustrated when Meredith does something to put herself in these kinds of situations. Its a mothers love…is it not?
I mentioned Meredith’s trial as an example yesterday, and i re-watched it closely and revised my opinion.
She knew as far back as season 3 that Meredith was a pain in her side. Remember the panties on the bulletin board?
Remember her being protective of Meredith and laying into McDreamy when he caught them in a parked car?
She also knew that Meredith had the makings of an excellent surgeon. She knew that Meredith had to go through the refiners fire.
Heres a transcript of her speech.
Dr. Bailey: 'Ever since I first met Meredith Grey I knew she was going to be a thorn in my side. You're worried about her breaking rules? Well, that's not gonna stop. She's been doing that since day one.
And, yes, she broke a law to save a life. So she deserved to lose her job. She deserves to pick up trash. No one should be questioning her license.
She's too good at what she does. And she's worked too hard to get to where she is. And with all that she has survived, it hasn't made her hard. It hasn't made her mean or cold. It hasn't made her not care.
It's made her better. It's made her better than anyone in this room. Well, except me. I'm Dr. Miranda Bailey, chief of surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, and I approve this message.'
—————— my reasoning of Dr. Bailey at the hearing————
Bailey doesn’t try to lessen what Meredith has done. She doesn’t try to get her off the hook. She explains why Meredith is such a good surgeon and states that everything she’s been through has made her an even better doctor.
Meredith may make some interesting choices, and some of them may drive Dr. Bailey up the walls, just like children often do. But given their relationship, Dr. Bailey hated Meredith’s actions, but not Meredith herself.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone you loved and cared about did something you you hated and didnt approve of? Did you hate them for it or did you hate *what they did* but not themselves?
You can hate what someone does without hating the person themselves. That is what I believe Bailey has done. In the beginning of the series, she was billed as a not-see (not typing it out)
This was Dr Bailey’s first speech to the interns in S1E1
"I have five rules, memorize them,” she told the interns. “Rule number don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change, trauma protocol…nurses will page you, you will answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two.”
“Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain,” she continued.
“You run labs, write orders, work every second until you drop and don’t complain. On-call rooms, Attendings hog them, sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying."
“Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, then not only would you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason, we clear?”
She was responsible for turning out excellent surgeons.
You dont go easy on them and expect them to thrive and survive. You go hard on them. But you want them to succeed.
Otherwise you are just wasting your time, your resources, and the lives of the patients that they lost.
In the current season, Dr Bailey is back, doing what she did in the beginning, but this time she has 20 years experience.
We’ve seen Miranda go soft on people during the series and we’ve seen that doesn't turn out very well. Remember what BCB is an acronym for? What surgeons need is tough love. What surgeons need is someone to inspire them.
Bailey may be straightforward, tough, and full of wit and wisdom. Without a doubt, she is a really good physician and an independent one at that. However that independence has cost her personal relationships such as Ben.
She hated that Ben became a firefighter and is how in a very perilous environment day after day, but she doesn’t hate the guy.
If anything, Miranda has become more compassionate and more open hearted…not hateful
Not too long ago, Miranda started a women’s clinic at the hospital and as a result of her hard work in the face of adversity from the pro-lifers, she wins the esteemed Catherine Fox Award.
How can you do something like that while spreading hate throughout the hospital? You cant.

Hi all! With TFS looming over the horizon, I wanted to take a look at some Exotic weapons we have in that grand ol’ arsenal of ours that haven’t been doing too hot in a while… or ever. We have a lot of strong choices nowadays, and even some fun niche ones too, but there are a lot of picks that just don’t make sense, have better legendary variants, or are outdated asf (looking at you specifically, DARCI). In this post, I want to share some fun ideas I had for how to rebalance these exotics, adding new functionality in both their intrinsic abilities and catalysts. I don’t even think all these exotics necessarily need a huge intrinsic buff: sometimes a catalyst is all it takes; just look at how nice Trinity Ghoul is with its catalyst, and that’s just a teeny tiny change.
What I count as an underpowered exotic is a weapon that doesn’t really have a place both in regular play, endgame activities, or as a niche weapon with certain uses. So something like Tractor Cannon, although not a DPS/adclear option, is super super useful against certain bosses like Crota or in certain situations, therefore, in my mind it is not underpowered as it has its place. Something like Hard Light, though… yeah.
I’m swinging the hammer kinda heavy with the buffs because it’s more fun that way. I hope you all enjoy, and please share your ideas too! Bonus if you make a bingo card to see how many of these exotics Bungo actually changes in TFS. We’ll find out soon enough, I’d imagine.
Oh, yeah, and this is just my opinion. I know some or a lot of these weapons are usable. But alas, this is what I think.
KINETIC WEAPONS:
Sweet Business: Adds intrinsic Overload capabilities. Once this weapon is spun up, it will remain spinning until reloaded. This assures that once you enter combat, you won’t be stuck having to get ‘er goin every time a new enemy jumps you. Catalyst now adds Killing Tally. This perk would make the weapon much stronger (duh) but also it has good synergy with Sweet Business, as the playstyle opts for keeping the weapon out, in use, and continuously fed from ammo pickups or actium war rig.
MIDA Multi-Tool: Adds the ability to change the rate and mode of fire, so that the weapon can behave like a pulse rifle and an auto rifle by changing perk options in the gun’s menu. Scoping in now highlights information about enemies and distance, just like DARCI does.
Crimson: Perhaps this sounds repetitive, but for weapons that sustain fire, Killing Tally is really solid. This would reward the user for continuous precision kills to maintain Killing Tally, a strong bonus on top of Exotics have a 40% buff against red bars.
Cerberus+1: Damage againts elite (orange bar) and major (yellow bar, non capitalized names) also increased by 40% to match the minor (red bar) enemy increase. New intrinstic perk: Interial Quakes: sustained damage on one target causes shockwaves to summon at the location of the target, disorienting them and dealing high damage. This offers Cerberus+1 a variant of Kinetic Tremors that has increased functionality, as it’s an exotic, as well as the ability to activate off of non-precision hits since.. yeah hitting crits with Cerberus is ass.
Bad Juju: Catalyst increases super energy gained from a kill closer to D1 levels, to make it more of a super battery. We get our super back so quickly in PvE with the amount of orbs we generate; let’s ratchet Bad Juju up to make it a competitive super generating option. The catalyst also gives Desperado.
Bastion: I wish I knew what to do to make it better. But it needs help.
Traveler’s Chosen: This weapon was designed back when Bungo was like “lol we hate damage perks”. Gathering Light now grants an escalating damage bonus in addition to its previuos effects. Consuming Gathering Light increases this weapon’s RoF for 10 seconds to compensate for being reset to its baseline.
Cryosthesia 77K: Here’s a dousey. Every third precision shot applies x25 slow to enemies. The special “reload after kill” show now loads the gun with a projectile that is akin to a coldsnap grenade, seeking out and freezing a target. Catalyst grants headstone so you can make more stasis crystals with this bad boy.
Wicked Implement: Make this thing a 260rpm scout. That is all.
ENERGY:
Coldheart: Catalyst adds voltshot. Increase the damage ramp-up for sustained fire.
Borealis: Why does this thing not have anti barrier. Half of its gimmick is breaking barriers. Give it anti barrier lmao and it’ll be top tier in GMs. That’s literally all you need to do?
Skyburner’s Oath: Increase rate of fire for Scout Rifle mode. Make it unstop intrinsically.
Merciless: Catalyst gives Controlled Burst, further decreasing charge time and increasing damage.
Hard Light: Add incandescent, voltshot, and destabilizing rounds depending on the elemental mode that is selected. Catalyst allows it to swap between Stasis and Strand, giving Headstone and Hatchling respectively.
Fighting Lion: Just revert some of the nerfs on this poor guy for crying out loud. Life was more fun when he was still kickin’.
Prometheus Lens: Sustained damage will this weapon can cause enemies to ignite prematurely.
Tommy’s Matchbook: Buff the scorch this weapon deals against enemies. Increase hipfire accuracy further to make sure you can hit your shots. Allow for kills on scorched enemies to trigger brief health regeneration.
POWER:
D.A.R.C.I.: Ammo type switched to special, damage is decreased to compensate. Deals further increased precision damage after hitting 3 shots in a row. Catalyst adds Reconstruction and High-Impact Reserves.
Legend of Acrius: Add one-two punch, as well as the ability for Acrius to add a solar centurion shield if you are within close proximity (melee range) of an enemy.
The Wardcliff Coil: Buff the damage! This weapon and EoT deal less damage against bosses since they fire a salvo but it’s too weakkkk. Also, catalyst jolts targets if 5 or more rockets hit the target.
The Prospector: Grant this weapon a GL variant of bipod” grenades deal decreased damage, but this weapon can carry double the amount of grenades. Grenades chain lightning between themselves and targets when exploded, and the catalyst now adds auto-loading holster.
Worldline Zero: Uhhh….
Sleeper Simulant: Buff that damage Bungie. Make it a powerhouse again.
Black Talon: I’m not gonna lie I have no idea what to do to make this thing better.
One Thousand Voices: Make this thing hurt, Bungie. Buff it’s fuckin damage. And make it guarantee ignite enemies if the entire beam hits a target. Chain reaction is added as well to chain explosions from target to target.
Truth: Rockets have a larger blast radius than normal, and debuff nearby enemies with Volatile. Bipod is added to the roster of perks. Rocket tracking becomes closer to its D1 level of aggresiveness. Catalyst reloads this weapon whenever a void debuff is cast to double capacity.
Deathbringer: Too much setup, too little payoff. Void orbs now weaken targets. The void orbs now take less airtime to reach max damage increase.
Eyes of Tomorrow: Make it do more damage against bosses. Stop being a pussy. We have Gjallarhorn, Dragon’s Breath, and whatever the fuck else. Make. Them. Fear. It.
Deterministic Chaos: Removes the sustained fire requirement for triggering weakening and volatile rounds. Enemies are made volatile AND weak at the same time (every 4 shots), and every 16^th shot is now a quadruple damage bullet.

This is a really strange one. Also feeling super fucking hopeless. This is like half "help me!" and half vent. I'm a lonely person. I've been alone my whole life save for a couple friends I would make here and there. Some online, some offline. Last year I started trying to be more "active" in my friends' lives after coming out as transfem and moving back to my hometown. I had about six friends in total, a guy I've known since middle school and talked to on-and-off, two guys who were friends with me in high school and also knew that guy, an online friend from the Netherlands who I used to talk to literally every day, and an online friend from Chicago that I have met many times in person, known him for like ten years now.
Last September I made a Discord server and introduced all my friends to each other. It was really great at first, we all played video games together, we spent time on the call all the time, it was nice. Then after New Years one of the guys I knew from high school started being really, really mean to me. Out of like nowhere, just mean, dismissive, hateful. I try and be very kind, unassuming, maybe a little passive. I am not an aggressive person IRL at all, I am outgoing and I am not ever, EVER mean to anyone. Following this guy's lead everyone just started piling onto me, saying that like, I am useless, or I am stupid, or I have "bad takes." Illinoisian friend suggested they make a server without me, which they did. Then everyone started disengaging from me, leaving me on read, etcetera. Again, I have not been hostile or aggressive towards any of these people, in fact, I actively try and appease them 100% of the time because I am afraid of abandonment, so this is like the worst thing ever!
Anyway, found out from my middle-school-friend (who is the only one who seems to actively want to talk to me still) that they sit in this group chat all day and play fucking World of Warcraft and talk shit about me from time to time, I guess. I tried to be proactive and went to breakfast with Mr. Meanie Pie and talked to him a bit one-on-one and asked him, hey, why is everyone being so mean, can you please be a little nicer to me? I don't really know what I've done wrong, and he said some half-assed stuff about something mean I said once on Twitter like over a month ago(had already stopped going on Twitter because it's shitty for my mental health and does indeed empower me to say sarcastic things occasionally) and said that he would "talk to me however he wants" because I "deserve it" and that he's not going to put effort into maintaining our relationship because I am a shitty person. This man is like 6ft tall, was in the military, big dude. I am literally a 5'7" skinny autistic trans girl. So even just starting that conversation was fucking nerve-wracking. What does someone like that get out of bullying a little person like me? Jesus Christ.
I thought this sort of behavior was reserved for like, high school girls. I cannot understand it for the life of me. I introduced all my friends to each other and then they KICKED ME OUT!! How the fuck does that even work!? Has this happened to anyone else?! What the hell do I do now? It's upended my entire social life, which I didn't have much of to begin with! No idea what to do now, I don't have any other non-familial connections besides them. This has happened twice before to me when I was a teenager, but not so far as an adult. If the problem is me, I need to know how to fix it.

In his essay Why I Am Not A Conservative, F. A. Hayek has this to say about conservatism:

Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving. It may succeed by its resistance to current tendencies in slowing down undesirable developments, but, since it does not indicate another direction, it cannot prevent their continuance. It has, for this reason, invariably been the fate of conservatism to be dragged along a path not of its own choosing. The tug of war between conservatives and progressives can only affect the speed, not the direction, of contemporary developments.
...
As has often been acknowledged by conservative writers, one of the fundamental traits of the conservative attitude is a fear of change, a timid distrust of the new as such,[5] while the liberal position is based on courage and confidence, on a preparedness to let change run its course even if we cannot predict where it will lead. There would not be much to object to if the conservatives merely disliked too rapid change in institutions and public policy; here the case for caution and slow process is indeed strong. But the conservatives are inclined to use the powers of government to prevent change or to limit its rate to whatever appeals to the more timid mind. In looking forward, they lack the faith in the spontaneous forces of adjustment which makes the liberal accept changes without apprehension, even though he does not know how the necessary adaptations will be brought about.

Granted, this was written a long time ago and in Britain, but I was curious what TS thought about conservatism being characterized in this manner.

Hi all!
As someone with ADHD I have always had issues with planning and cooking food. I order out a lot because it’s the easiest and least stressful for my brain. But, my gut health is seriously seriously compromised. I am tired all the time, always have an upset stomach, etc.
Between forgetting to eat (thanks stimulants) and then actually eating (but not with healthy intentions) I just feel fking awful. Stimulants have also given me an ulcer i’m pretty sure. I know I need more fiber for sure. I honestly feel like I need to cleanse my gut or something, it’s bad.
All this to say, I don’t know how to cook for myself, I guess lol. I don’t like cooking much either.
Does anyone have any advice? The thought of grocery shopping or making myself a meal sometimes makes me want to cry because I’m already over hungry and don’t know what to make for myself.

His ex sent me this message. Sorry it’s so long! Has anybody else gotten a similar message in the past? How did you react?
Message below: “It’s been over a year of me wondering whether I should just come out and ask you or message you… but being afraid that if I do, and I’m wrong, it’ll be a the biggest mistake of my life. I have begged and begged him to tell me what you are to him, and he denies having anything more than a platonic friendship with you.
I want to preface this message with, I have no ill will towards you, I just want some answers… answers I don’t believe I’m going to get from Jared. I don’t know if he’s mentioned anything about me. So here goes…
November 2022, I sent Jared an email, telling him I loved him, missed him, and though I didn’t require a response back, I wanted him to know how sorry I was for everything that had happened and things had ended. He responded with a lengthy email telling me he still fervently loved me and how he too was sorry for how things had ended. That email lead to the last year and a half of events.
December 2022, I drove down to Roanoke and surprised him at the Carilion garage. He left the hospital as fast as he could that night, and we spent the rest of that evening together, catching up, and he left for Key West two days later. Two weeks later, he came up to DC and we had a late birthday celebration for him at Clyde’s in Georgetown and went to see A Christmas Carol at the Ford Theater. A few weeks later we drove to Jersey to see Matchbox20, by now it was the end of January 2023. Almost every week off, for the last year, he would come up and see me, if even for only two days, or I would drive down to Roanoke and spend the week with him. We spoke about our past, the hurt, and future, he told me numerous times that when he pictured marriage and children, it was only with me, but he needed time. This part is important, and I’ll come back to it later. We celebrated my birthday at a restaurant in Navy Yard, two weeks before you guys left for London. Chris video chatted with that night while we were at the restaurant eating Wagyu, and they discussed the new shipment of sunglasses Chris had gotten for Miggieswear.
The weekend of the Super Bowl, he had come seen me earlier that week, the day after he left I came to Roanoke and left the day of the Super Bowl. He told me his parents were having a viewing party and he had to go home and cook. I’m now assuming he left my Airbnb and came to your place.
That February he planned a trip to London, with Nicole, Ryan and Chris, and what he told me were, Nicole’s “friends.” Nicole happened to post a picture of you guys sitting on the plane and I was shocked, why would Nicole’s friend be sitting between him and Ryan. I sent him a message while you were on that 6 hour flight, telling him that if he had been seeing somebody, then why didn’t he tell me? There was no point in us spending time together if he had moved on. His response to me was “do you even know what you’re looking at? I’m surprised you don’t recognize her, that’s Nicole’s friend. You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions right now and don’t know what you’re talking about.” Something in my gut didn’t believe it but I wanted to trust that, so I did. I put you out of sight, out of mind. When he got back, he told me how he wished I’d been there with him, we both love history and old buildings, it’s a place we would have found magical together. I don’t know who came up with the idea of going to London, but part of me always thinks I’m the one who put it there when I shared the pictures i had taken when I went there the year we had been no contact.
We went to a Kenny Chesney concert in Charlottesville that March when I got back from my family trip to India, and he got back from London. Between work, us both traveling with our families, we were excited to see one another. We were going to go to St Augustine, but because of the weather, we stayed in Roanoke and saw Kenny Chesney in Charlottesville. The original plan had been to spend the night in Charlottesville at a hotel, but we couldn’t get one last minute so we ended up driving back to Roanoke and sneaking into the basement at his parents house and sleeping in his bed at 3am.
A few months later, we went to Richmond, and stayed the weekend, exploring the city, and watched Hamilton at the Altria Theater. A few months after that, we went to Savannah and Atlanta, where he got a flat tire driving into the garage, and spent the rest of the weekend at a yoga retreat. July, he asked me to go to Boston with him and his brother, for 4th or July weekend, but I couldn’t because my siblings were in town. Every single week, he came down and either stayed with me, or made a quick trip to spend time with me…
This past September, I found out he took you to Justin’s wedding, and I broke. I needed more from him. I have known him, been intimate with him, shared my every fear, worry, I have brought him home cooked meals from DC and surprised him at work with dinner, I’ve made him care packages. I’ve made Ryan Easter baskets and sent him birthday presents and encouraged Jared to put him in academic classes, I’ve helped Jared look into private schools for Ryan, and weighed the pros and cons of the options. I had no expectations in return from him other than, at the very least, a mutual respect and HONESTY.
I’ve seen him quite a few times since September and I last saw him in Roanoke at the beginning of March 2024. We sat in front of each other, in his car before he went into work that Monday night, and he told me, again, that when he thinks of marriage and a future, I’m the only one he pictures a marriage and children with. I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to make a point, I’m saying it because i don’t know what to believe anymore.
I became suspicious of his relationship with you, when he mentioned going to Macchu Picchu and hiking through the mountains. As all women have the ability to find out details they might later regret, I did the same thing. Except I didn’t believe he had actually gone to Macchu Picchu. I knew his passport had been long expired since around or before COVID, and I knew he had renewed it before he went to London. But that was when I realized you were the girl in the photo that Nicole posted. When I confronted him about Macchu Picchu, he told me he had been joking and he had also already told me he’d been joking. He had NEVER told me it was a joke, he had actually refused to show me photos when I asked him for pictures from the trip… he had then proceeded to change the topic, which is what had even raised red flags in my head.
My point is, I have asked him point blank so many times whether you two have a relationship. You tell me you still love me, that you picture marriage and a family with me, but this girl is a part of your life, and you took her to a wedding with you, while I was on a trip with my siblings, you took her to London with you, and you continue to tell me she’s just a friend. I asked him again on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning after he left work, if you two are dating, and he said no. He asked me why I’m so hyper-fixated on somebody who’s just a friend when he has a million other female friends.
In September, he told me he needed a month to clear his head, that he wanted to commit to me, but he was afraid and that he needed to get over the fear and roadblock of our past break up. I gave him grace and understood. So we took a 4 week break. Some time during that time period, he sent me a snap of doves, and said “doves, and swans mate for life.” He sent me Ed Sheeran songs telling me he wants to find his way back to me. “No Strings Attached… you are the one I love”
In November, he messaged me and told me he had a surprise for me and to look for something in the mail. He loves the Count of Monte Carlo, it’s one of his favorite movies, and he told me it was in reference to that. A few weeks later I got a candle, a silver 400 dollar Buddha candle from Thomson Ferrier. I didn’t understand the reference to the Count of Monte Carlo, but it was a beautiful gesture and present… especially because he knew how much little gestures from him mean to me.
Fast forward to January, I got another 350 dollar black skull candle from him, from Thomson Ferrier. At this point I was upset, angry and livid. I called my sister in tears that evening. I had come back to him because he told me he loved me, that he “has a fire that burns so deeply” when he thinks of me. If i had known that wasn’t true, i would have closed the chapter a year and a half ago. I don’t want $700 worth of gifts and candles, I want more. I want marriage, I want children, I want our lives to move forward, I want communication. Out of anger, I packed up the candle, his sweatshirts and clothes that he had left at my place this past year, and mailed them back to his house. I’m sure it’s sitting somewhere in his basement closet/ bedroom… along with his white Huq sweatshirt, a picture of us I had up in my house, and various articles of clothing.
What upsets me is that he didn’t just involve me this year, he involved my family. He sent my mom presents, my parents in return sent him gifts. My sister, parents and cousins messaged him asking him to come around more. There was no point in involving my family, if he was going to involve himself with you. There was no point in involving himself with me, if he was going to involve himself with you. Those leather Indian shoes sitting in his room, my dad bought those for him. That blue sweater, those green pants and that maroon shirt, my parents bought those for him just this last year.
I don’t know what he’s told you about me, but I will say this. I was your age when we started dating. I was 29 years old. He was single, that’s what everyone in our residency program thought. He would tell everyone how Shari left him one day, all of a sudden just got up and left. “I saw the look behind her eyes just change when she looked at me.” He would tell everyone his horrific dating stories. When i started dating him, there was no doubt in my mind he was single… but I was wrong. He wasn’t single, he was dating Devon, one of the nurses from Carilion, and he had been for the past 4 years prior to that. At one point when he moved to Norfolk, she had even moved in with him. Even Shari was visiting him in Norfolk during this time period. I would have never suspected it, nobody in our residency program did. It wasn’t until one day, when he told me his friends were visiting from home, and they were all going to a concert together, that I found out. Her profile picture was of the two of them together, and her Facebook relationship status said “in a relationship.” Out of my own naivety, i believed him when he told me she was crazy and obsessed with him. He told me, to him, they were just friends but she wanted more. Women do a lot of things, but no woman is dumb enough to think she’s your girlfriend when she’s not. When we moved back to our hometowns, Devon was there waiting for him. He disappeared one day for 24 hours, told me that he was helping his dad’s friend who was stranded in NC. A year and a half later, i would find out that was a lie and that he had been at a concert Florida Georgia Line concert with her. She had been visiting his grandmother with him, staying at his parents home. The irony is that a few weeks after he took her, he took me to the same concert in Scranton. Him and his family didn’t bat an eye when a month later, I showed up and was the “new girlfriend.”
Eventually Devon found out about his lies and left him, but again, stupid me thought she was a crazy girl who just wanted so badly to be with him, that she built their relationship up in her head.
Dignity, respect for humans, empathy, are the most important qualities in a human being.
What I don’t wish is for you to be in my spot in 5 years. He will paint you in his colors, make you fall in love with MB20, and take you to Augustana concerts, he’ll tell you that you understand him, and his heart in a way that nobody else does. He’ll bond with you over music, and send you songs that make you feel he’s talking about you. He is so good at making you feel seen, and involving you with his family. He’ll say he had a vision of a girl that looks like you, coming into his life, and here you are, his soul mate. And one day, the same way that Shari, Devon and I got lost in him, the reality of everything will come pouring down on you. Be careful, there are signs between the lines, and the smiles, and good times. Make sure you don’t miss those, whatever you decide.
My relationship with him, started off just like yours. Another girl on the periphery, and teetering the line of inappropriate. Everything you call him out on, will always have an excuse, and you will believe him because he’s the “good guy” who goes above and beyond for people.
I don’t wish for any woman to go through the pain I’ve gone through, the manipulation, the lies and the emotional abuse. I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say, be careful and don’t be blind to the small things that will one day become huge. The novelty will fade, and though Jared isn’t the devil, he has a lot of growing up to do at 40. It was not okay to toy with me and drag me through the mud this year. It wasn’t okay to minimize his relationship with you and lie to me about it. It’s not okay to, to this day claim to see a life with me and not commit to it. I deserve better, and you deserve better.
How men talk about their ex’s and other women is an indication about how they will one day talk about and treat you. That is the worst and best lesson i have learned. I’m 34, years of my life wasted, and he took another year of my life knowing full well, this is how it would end. He’s sat on the phone with me for hours talking about how stupid PA’s are and if you were going to not be a doctor, at least become an NP, who has better bedside knowledge. Why would he say that, because i suppose you’re a PA and it minimizes the significance of even having a relationship with somebody who isn’t as intelligent as he is. The lack of respect will always be there, you just have to look for it.
Dishonesty, and manipulation are a plague, and if that’s who you are at 40, it is who you will always be unless you recognize that something needs to change. Where there is no accountability, there can be no change. I’m not the exception, I’m the same as the two girls before me. He’ll show you text messages where he never responded to me, even though he replies on Snapchat where every thing is erased. I cannot believe i didn’t see the signs. He will make me look crazy and laugh at me, the same way he showed me messages from Jen, and Elisabeth, and Devon, and made them sound crazy to me. I guess that’s his MO. The same way he told me you were nothing to him.
I was going to send you this message, two months ago… i then decided not to because he convinced me he wasn’t dating you… I saw him less than a month ago in Roanoke, i begged him to tell me that he was in a relationship with you. He said he wasn’t, again, he told me he was going to a wedding alone with only Ryan and that he wasn’t taking you. I then begged him to tell me that we were done and that he didn’t love me anymore. His response was idk what’s going to happen a year from now, i know I’ll see you again. His response every time has been when im ready for a relationship, emotionally, do you want me to finally let you know? I don’t care to be with him anymore. I’m so over it but i really think you should know the type of person you’re dealing with.
He has put me through so much hell for a year and a half of my life, stringing me along acting like he’s doing me a favor while he works on his own mental health and claims to still love me when we are together.”
TLDR: my SO’s ex messaged me saying he’s been seeing both of us for the past year and a half. Has anybody experienced this before. She sent me pictures from the past year of them and their text exchanges

I'm in Canada. I'm 23
I graduated in Spring 2023 with an Hons BS in Computer Science. In August 2023, I secured a job as a Cloud Engineer at a small-scale company utilizing AWS, despite having no prior internship/Co-op/full time permanent work experience (didn't get any Co-ops due to Covid)
My cloud computing background at that time was a cloud computing course which I took in Uni which involved using EC2 Instances and basic cloud computing concepts.
My responsibilities at my present job have predominantly revolved around the infrastructure side, using infrastructure as a code (IaC), using AWS CDK with Python, server maintenance, renewing SSL Certificates, automations, assisting senior members in basic tasks (like following up), onboarding new team members, installing/updating software across various EC2 instances, migrating RDS/volumes /other resources to reduce costs. (Pretty much those tasks which an intern would do since this is my first ever tech job, never worked full time before).
I am planning to switch roles later this year, aiming to delve deeper into AWS and cloud related positions as I've found some interest in it and learnt quite many things. I noticed several jobs requiring good amount of experience (they all sounded like intermediate/senior level roles) while I only have close to 1 year of experience as time goes.
My only reason to leave this job is the pay (earning less than $40k/yr, again its my first ever job with no prior internships/Co-ops).
Looking for some Career Advice on how I can switch roles with the right amount of experience & guidance, How can I stand out during this job search/learning process, progress more in cloud computing or if I should really pursue cloud computing further:

1. Is cloud computing a promising domain to pursue further in Canada? Is the job market for cloud computing experiencing downturns as well? As I might like to continue with this job in case the market is really bad.
2. Should I aim for some other positions outside Cloud (like AI, etc). I see a lot of news regarding layoffs, market being too bad, people not able to find jobs, and it's making me worried to switch roles even after some experience in hand.

2a. (Continuation of point 2) Is there any other Cloud platform which would be more helpful depending on the market demand, if AWS isn't in high demand ? (Like Azure, Salesforce, GCP or anything else)
2b. What other fields/positions in Tech could I target if Cloud Positions are out of reach due to a good amount of experience necessary. I often hear about cybersecurity and AI but understand they can be highly competitive.

1. I am aware of AWS certifications but uncertain if obtaining certifications alongside one year of experience would suffice to transition roles. Given my junior position, I'm curious if starting with the AWS Cloud Practitioner certification is adequate or if pursuing multiple certifications alongside additional experience would be more beneficial.
   
2. Would AWS/cloud related projects (of any other platform) be helpful to show it to my prospective employer ? I'm worried about the cost of architecture as I don't want to pay a huge amount out of my pocket (I know Cost optimization is important and I'm gradually learning about this at work).
   
3. Is there a cloud related roadmap I can follow for AWS or for some other cloud platforms to advance my skills and career prospects?
   

Any Additional Career Advice/Guidance would be great.

TLDR: My "mother" is a vile evil woman who has stolen from my grandma and nephew, committed crimes and exploited people, had me working at 15 to support the family while she did nothing, and lied to me so I wouldn't see my grandma on Mother's Day. I have a long post on my full story on another subreddit on my profile if you want more context.
My "mother" is a vile, awful person who has committed heinous and despicable acts. To make an extremely long story short, I grew up in an unstable household. My dad wasn't around and my mom was unwilling to work to support us. I was pawned off to my grandparents who lived with us, and they were more parents to me than my actual parents were. Everything my mom has done has been to fuel her ego, and as with many narcissists, to seek validation to reinforce her nonexistent identity outside external validation. She needs validation constantly on how young and beautiful she looks, how rich and great she is, and how she is an excellent and caring mom. Yet a good mother wouldn't have had me and my siblings and grandparents living in a former drug house infested with millions of roaches, rats, black mold, and on again off again running water and electricity. A good mom also wouldn't have sat around having parties and drinking while I, at 15 years of age and two senior citizens, broke our backs trying to sell and rent party supplies and carrying an 800 lb bounce house to customers that wanted to rent them. I worked at 15 like a Victorian boy instead of going to school trying to make ends meet because my parents wouldn't. My "mother" has done everything evil you can think of, from scamming and stealing from innocent people, catfishing other men (while with my stepdad), pretending to be my sister online for validation and money, forcing my sister to be a model and hook up with much older men for the promise of advancement (she was 17 and these men where in there 30s or older), spies on my widowed sister-in-law, had me living in deplorable conditions and having me eat old food infested with roaches and rat droppings, conducting illegal gambling business and money laundering, kept the fact that (some of) my siblings are adopted from them, baby trapped my stepdad, had little to no concern for my mental health and did not help or try to accommodate my sensory issues (I suspect I may have level 1 autism, mostly with sensory issues) and much, much, much more. I have been going to therapy and am currently doing emdr to undo the damage that my evil "mother" has done. She is a master of manipulation, love bombing, and buying people's love, loyalty, and affection. I, for the second time, have gone no contact with her.
Now that there's some context, my grandmother means everything to me. She lives in a convalescent home and my mom has control over her. I wanted to see her on Mother's Day. My mom asked if I was going to come to lunch. I said we were visiting my wife's mom, then coming to the house later at 5. She said that was not going to work because they were going to eat at 1. I said, OK well, if we can't do the restaurant, then take her to the house, so we can all visit her at 5. She said she couldn't do that, and why couldn't we just go to eat with them and then, IF there's time, we could go to my mother-in-law's house for a little bit. I said no, everything has been arranged already, and as usual you don't inform anyone of plans and expect everyone last second to cancel theirs and do yours. We were going to make my mother-in-law a priority, however, there was time for both. She got mad and said she would not be bringing my grandma to the house and I guess that was it. I said, well, I guess it is. On Mother's Day, I called my grandma, and she was upset and crying, asking why I hadn't seen her, and that she had come to visit the house. My mom took her to the house after lunch and didn't tell me. Neither did any of my other family. She said that she wanted to come back home and didn't want to live at the facility. She is fairly healthy and in reality, doesn't need to be at the facility. After talking to her, I confronted my mom and said that I explicitly told you that I wanted to see Grandma, and you said you were NOT bringing her to the house. You did bring her to the house and intentionally did not tell me. Because I did not bow down and follow your commands like everyone else, you deliberately orchestrated this, so I would not see her in an act of revenge to spite me. There was no reason you couldn't have called or texted and told me you were bringing her, especially after I told you I wanted to see her, even if it was at the last minute. It was an intentional act. She just said you are always talking shit about me. I told her it's not talking shit if it's true. She then hung up. This is what she does. If you don't follow the Führers command, bow at her feet, and tell her how wonderful and gracious she is, she will seek vengeance and do things to spite you, to bring glory for herself.
My grandma told me that my "mom" mistreats her, and is collecting pay from the government pretending to be her caretaker (when in reality my mom does absolutely nothing and has no job whatsoever. She dedicates her life to crime, fraud, and scams. She ran an underground casino with my stepdad and when they got busted my stepdad took the fall) but instead dumped her in a conversant home and does not care for her at all. Besides all that, my grandma also stated that she takes all of her social security money and keeps it. This is not surprising because my nephew, who is technically an orphan, having lost both parents recently, is under the custody of my horrible "mother" and he had some kind of inheritance left for him. When my "mother" discovered this, she swept in and wiped it clean. Her greed is deplorable. Wherever there is money, the Sheriff of Nottingham will do anything to get every last coin wherever she can get it. She even charges people $5 to use the washing machine. The most important thing to my "mother" is herself and her endless black hole of needing to be validated and praised, along with the endless black hole of greed. It is her entire identity. I am so enraged, and I can not let these things happen. When will my "mother" face consequences for her actions? She cannot continue to commit evil acts and not only get away with them but also prosper because of it. One of the worst parts, however, is that everyone, even if they have their problems with her, always goes along with what the dear leader says and continues to enable her by telling her she's a good mom and that they appreciate her. She needs to face consequences for her actions, but I don't know what to do. She can't continue to harm people and get away with it. I need help.

I (21M) have had a friend for about a year who was fine at first but overly competitive. Recently she's been incredibly apathetic, showing no emotion or comfort when my step-grandmother passed and telling me to suck it when I received an award at work that she was in the running for as well. She's over all extremely shallow and rude with no reason, if she wins at something she rubs it in your face and if she loses she takes it out on you despite it being far from your doing, she's childish.
The problem is, she's friends with two of my close friends and I can't not talk to her if I want to talk to them, she's always there. She's expressed things to these other friends of mine and now at least one of them believes I'm an asshole, she's ruining my bonds with these people and making me dread going to work everyday knowing that I have to be in the same place as her, I've spoken with my boyfriend who said to talk HR to change my hours but not much has been done. How do I work around this?

I’m at a loss right now. Does anybody’s team lead talk bad about associates to other associates? My team lead will talk so bad about someone to an associate and then turns around and talks bad about the associate she was just shit talking too. It makes me wonder what she says about me to others. I shouldn’t care but I do to an extent. Other associates have brought it up to management but she goes around telling everyone “So and so said this about me and it’s not true.” Kinda like a young child would. She is a really good lead. The department runs fairly smooth. But as a person…not so much. How should I go about this? Since she will talk about it to other associates? I wanted to just transfer departments and be done with it. But I love my department. It’s hard to say goodbye just because of one person.

TLDR: My "mother" is a vile evil woman who has stolen from my grandma and nephew, committed crimes and exploited people, had me working at 15 to support the family while she did nothing, and lied to me so I wouldn't see my grandma on Mother's Day. I have a long post on my full story on another subreddit on my profile if you want more context.
My "mother" is a vile, awful person who has committed heinous and despicable acts. To make an extremely long story short, I grew up in an unstable household. My dad wasn't around and my mom was unwilling to work to support us. I was pawned off to my grandparents who lived with us, and they were more parents to me than my actual parents were. Everything my mom has done has been to fuel her ego, and as with many narcissists, to seek validation to reinforce her nonexistent identity outside external validation. She needs validation constantly on how young and beautiful she looks, how rich and great she is, and how she is an excellent and caring mom. Yet a good mother wouldn't have had me and my siblings and grandparents living in a former drug house infested with millions of roaches, rats, black mold, and on again off again running water and electricity. A good mom also wouldn't have sat around having parties and drinking while I, at 15 years of age and two senior citizens, broke our backs trying to sell and rent party supplies and carrying an 800 lb bounce house to customers that wanted to rent them. I worked at 15 like a Victorian boy instead of going to school trying to make ends meet because my parents wouldn't. My "mother" has done everything evil you can think of, from scamming and stealing from innocent people, catfishing other men (while with my stepdad), pretending to be my sister online for validation and money, forcing my sister to be a model and hook up with much older men for the promise of advancement (she was 17 and these men where in there 30s or older), spies on my widowed sister-in-law, had me living in deplorable conditions and having me eat old food infested with roaches and rat droppings, conducting illegal gambling business and money laundering, kept the fact that (some of) my siblings are adopted from them, baby trapped my stepdad, had little to no concern for my mental health and did not help or try to accommodate my sensory issues (I suspect I may have level 1 autism, mostly with sensory issues) and much, much, much more. I have been going to therapy and am currently doing emdr to undo the damage that my evil "mother" has done. She is a master of manipulation, love bombing, and buying people's love, loyalty, and affection. I, for the second time, have gone no contact with her.
Now that there's some context, my grandmother means everything to me. She lives in a convalescent home and my mom has control over her. I wanted to see her on Mother's Day. My mom asked if I was going to come to lunch. I said we were visiting my wife's mom, then coming to the house later at 5. She said that was not going to work because they were going to eat at 1. I said, OK well, if we can't do the restaurant, then take her to the house, so we can all visit her at 5. She said she couldn't do that, and why couldn't we just go to eat with them and then, IF there's time, we could go to my mother-in-law's house for a little bit. I said no, everything has been arranged already, and as usual you don't inform anyone of plans and expect everyone last second to cancel theirs and do yours. We were going to make my mother-in-law a priority, however, there was time for both. She got mad and said she would not be bringing my grandma to the house and I guess that was it. I said, well, I guess it is. On Mother's Day, I called my grandma, and she was upset and crying, asking why I hadn't seen her, and that she had come to visit the house. My mom took her to the house after lunch and didn't tell me. Neither did any of my other family. She said that she wanted to come back home and didn't want to live at the facility. She is fairly healthy and in reality, doesn't need to be at the facility. After talking to her, I confronted my mom and said that I explicitly told you that I wanted to see Grandma, and you said you were NOT bringing her to the house. You did bring her to the house and intentionally did not tell me. Because I did not bow down and follow your commands like everyone else, you deliberately orchestrated this, so I would not see her in an act of revenge to spite me. There was no reason you couldn't have called or texted and told me you were bringing her, especially after I told you I wanted to see her, even if it was at the last minute. It was an intentional act. She just said you are always talking shit about me. I told her it's not talking shit if it's true. She then hung up. This is what she does. If you don't follow the Führers command, bow at her feet, and tell her how wonderful and gracious she is, she will seek vengeance and do things to spite you, to bring glory for herself.
My grandma told me that my "mom" mistreats her, and is collecting pay from the government pretending to be her caretaker (when in reality my mom does absolutely nothing and has no job whatsoever. She dedicates her life to crime, fraud, and scams. She ran an underground casino with my stepdad and when they got busted my stepdad took the fall) but instead dumped her in a conversant home and does not care for her at all. Besides all that, my grandma also stated that she takes all of her social security money and keeps it. This is not surprising because my nephew, who is technically an orphan, having lost both parents recently, is under the custody of my horrible "mother" and he had some kind of inheritance left for him. When my "mother" discovered this, she swept in and wiped it clean. Her greed is deplorable. Wherever there is money, the Sheriff of Nottingham will do anything to get every last coin wherever she can get it. She even charges people $5 to use the washing machine. The most important thing to my "mother" is herself and her endless black hole of needing to be validated and praised, along with the endless black hole of greed. It is her entire identity. I am so enraged, and I can not let these things happen. When will my "mother" face consequences for her actions? She cannot continue to commit evil acts and not only get away with them but also prosper because of it. One of the worst parts, however, is that everyone, even if they have their problems with her, always goes along with what the dear leader says and continues to enable her by telling her she's a good mom and that they appreciate her. She needs to face consequences for her actions, but I don't know what to do. She can't continue to harm people and get away with it. I need help.

TLDR; This guy I don’t really know clearly has feelings for me. He seems sweet but I’m hesitant because I’m trans and his parents are apparently conservative. Guy is also trying a bit too hard and recently tried to impress me by potentially lying about being a fan of theater.
Heya, so I’m curious to see what people’s thoughts are on a little… situation I’m in. I (transmasc Junior) realized recently that a classmate (male Junior) almost certainly has feelings for me. I’ll call him “Kay” for now. Let me explain.
In my 6th period, I don’t really interact with people much. I’m certainly not shy, but it’s one of those core classes that has a mix of everyone and non of your usual crowd, so you end up struggling to make friends. Theres this small group of guys that I get along fairly well with, they’re accepting of my identity, really chill, and just the kind of dorks that I love surrounding myself with. Because I’ve always sorta had those four, I’ve never breached out to the rest of the class. Which is why it was unusual when another guy (who istg I had NEVER interacted with) approached me while we were changing seats for assigned groups and suddenly said hi. This is Kay.
It was a simple greeting and I thought nothing of it. I asked if he was in my assigned group, and he didn’t really respond and awkwardly shuffled away. Alright, a little weird, but nothing harmful and I forgot about it.
Two days later, the whole class is waiting outside for our teacher to show up and open the door. Kay suddenly approaches me and asked how I was. Reminder that I DON’T KNOW THIS GUY. I didn’t even know his NAME until a week after our first interaction when I overheard the teacher call him. He knew mine though, and I ended up feeling ridiculously guilty for it for that week I was trying to figure out what was happening.
Anyway, I digress.
When he asked me how I was, I was honest and told him I was looking forward to going home because of how tired I was from rehearsals. He asks about what I was rehearsing for, and I explained that I’m in my theater classes’s final show where we host it entirely on our own. But because of how little time we were given, we’ve been hauling ass with rehearsals that last from right after school until 7:30 at night. Then he did something that no one has ever done to me before:
He asked me to save him a ticket. He WANTED to go to this play I was in. No one besides immediate family ever wanted to go to a production I was in. Like… fuck, okay, if that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is. I told him that I’d let him know when tickets went live.
Flash forward to that following Monday, our teacher spontaneously decided to change up the seating layout in her classroom and told people to sit wherever they wanted that day. I took a random seat and Kay sits, not next to me, but like a table over. I guess trying to not be too obvious? But then he hits me with this ringer “Hey Evan! How was your weekend” It was alright “Did you go to prom?” (Prom was that previous weekend)
Woah.
Now that felt like he just asked me if I was single.
So I tell him “Nah, not this year. But I will next year, for sure.”
His response? “Oh! Well, if you’re not going with anyone, maybe we could go together next year?” Then followed by the quick backtrack of: “As friends!”
Oh. Oh he is stupid. But it’s a kind of cute stupid that I don’t actually mind all that much. It’s sort of endearing how silly it is.
We don’t interact too much after that, I would note that during a class debate where we were split into two teams, he and I happened to be on the same team. Really, I was the only one on my team debating (and, not to brag, but to totally I won my team the debate and I was arguing the opposite of what I actually believed in), but he was the only one who tried to pitch in. Now what he said was out of pocket and didn’t match the stance I was going with at all, but it was sweet how he tried to help. He even leaned over after everything was said and done and thanked for winning the debate for my team.
Really, he seems sweet, but I barely know him. All I know is that he’s in the Medical Technology classes (based on how he wears scrubs once in a while) and apparently plays Call of Duty because he asked if I played. I might download it, just in case he asks again. I’m not the type to fall head over heels quickly. It takes me time. Especially as a trans guy who needs to be careful who they befriend and date because I never know what someone’s opinions of me or my identity is. Or if they even realize I am trans. I dress rather androgynous, leaning towards masculine, and my hair goes down to my collar bone in a sort of wolf-cut mullet thing. I’m short. I don’t passes very well, a lot of people tend to think I am just a bit androgynous rather than transmasc. I should be starting hormone replacement therapy later this summer, but this guy doesn’t know that. Sure I’m not traditionally feminine in the slightest and he has to be okay with that if he’s got a thing for me now. But does he know to what extent that goes? Is he just hoping for a tomboy girlfriend and not a boyfriend? Fuck, man, I don’t know.
With Kay, I’m particularly concerned because when I brought this up in my Theater class, I got two different responses which were not… great. One of my classmates literally squealed “EW!” because apparently he wasn’t a great guy in middle school. But I’m willing to see past that since that was 3+ years ago. People change and middle school tends to bring out the worst in everyone (middle schoolers are VICIOUS). But then my teacher had this sort of “Oh no…” kind of look. She explained that he’s a sweet guy, but his family is also extremely conservative. However, his older brother is apparently gay, so there’s that. Does he take after his brother or his parents? I genuinely have no clue, but I am praying to whatever got that is out there that he’s the former.
So yeah. Terrified of giving this guy a chance. I’m not disinterested, I want to give it a chance, get to know him before deciding how I feel because I literally have no way of knowing until we can have actual conversations beyond “how was your day?”
Then there’s today. We had another short “how are you” conversation and I told him I was stressed (again, because of my show), and he laid it on heavy that he was hoping to go, and I told him “Yeah! I remember you asking me to save you a ticket, but I’m not confident in its quality right now. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a theater production, but if you haven’t I wouldn’t want this one to be your first.”
He responds with: “Oh no, it’s not my first time, I’ve seen Hamilton and the nutcracker and stuff like that. I like theater.”
I was so excited at first because I thought he genuinely had an interest in Theater, but then a minute later I realized we saw both of those shows in our history class: one was Hamilton on Disney+ and we watched it when we were learning about the Revolution and what not, the other was when we saw a Ballet troupe perform the Nutcracker in our theater because our teacher was a guest dancer in it.
This. Mother fucker. Pretty much lied to my face to impress me. I don’t know if I should feel flattered that he’s trying so hard or insulted that he thought I’d fall for it.
I don’t even know how I feel. I almost want to just call him out and tell him to just ask for my number instead of trying to be someone he’s not to impress me. I might just do that. I’ll think about it.
Anywho, give me your thoughts on the situation. I’m at a loss, and tbh, my friends aren’t being the most helpful. Meanwhile my mom is telling me to play hard to get, which just feels cruel considering how hard he’s already trying.

So, I just got through watching One Piece and I have a few theories. To be honest, I haven’t looked to deep into what's already out there, besides just clarifying some facts for myself online so feel free to show me some things that I have missed. It’s possible some of this is already circulating around. I really just want to try and put my ramblings into one place. Spoilers for One Piece!
Ok, so there's a few separate theories to this but most of it has to do with Blackbeard and his motivations. One thing I find interesting is that Blackbeard, even since he was a part of Whitebeards crew, has been looking for very strong devil fruits and seems to have intimate knowledge of the ones he is seeking. The first one he sought out was the Dark-Dark fruit which among other things seems to be capable of stopping, and possibly stealing other devil fruit powers. One of his crew members, Shiryu, was seen to have the Clear-Clear fruit ability which already belonged to another character. I have to assume he knew about this before he found and acquired this fruit. Which begs the question, why does he know so much about this fruit? He is now able to use that power to steal powers for himself and his crew. We haven't gotten confirmation that the Dark-Dark fruit can do this, but just like a lot of things about this post, I’m going to be assuming that this is the case. In stealing these devil fruit abilities, he has to be very aware of not only what these fruits can do but who is currently using them. Law, in a recent episode, even alludes to the fact that he is hunting down devil fruit users. Now Burgess has the Strong-Strong fruit. Again, where is he getting this information? He obviously knew what Whitebeards devil fruit was capable of from the time he spent with him, and decided that of all the devil fruits he could have, he wanted that ability. Granted, it is an incredibly strong fruit, one worthy of an emperor of the sea, but with his intimate knowledge of devil fruits there had to be a reason Teach went after that one for himself. I think I have a possible answer.
Now this next part, I think is a common theory floating around out there but it is necessary for the rest of what is to come. Teach is one of the only people we have seen have multiple devil fruit abilities. This is crazy enough in itself, but if you notice, he stopped at just the two. Why not just take many devil fruit powers for himself and become the strongest out there? I think it's because he has the Zoan type Cerberus fruit. I mean, his jolly rodger is a Cerberus head. This could possibly make him three beings in one, allowing him to have three devil fruits. A Zoan type Cerberus fruit, a Paramecia fruit in the Quake-Quake fruit, and a Logia in the Dark-Dark fruit. Teach is smart. I think a big part of his motivations led him to intimately knowing about the powers of these three fruits. He knew if he acquired the Cerberus fruit then he could hold three devil fruit abilities and somehow figured out where that fruit was. Then I think he knew that if he joined Whitebeard for long enough he would eventually be led to the Dark-Dark fruit and be able to steal other abilities which were already taken. Then, once he had the opportunity he stole the most important fruit for his purposes, the quake-quake fruit.
Making even more assumptions, we need to look at the ancient weapon Pluton. What we know now is that Pluton is a world ending weapon, specifically a ship that was built a long time ago in Water 7, and that those blueprints were passed down until they reached Franky. We also just found out that it is sunken beneath Wano. Wano is a country that has massive walls built around it. The ancient settlement far below what is now Wano is where the ship actually resides, and those walls would need to be broken to retrieve the ship.
Now we're gonna talk a bit about the World Government. Specifically in regard to the Five Elders. Each one is named in some way after a planet in our solar system. St. Topman Warcury (Mercury), St. Ethan Baron V. Nusjuro (assuming the V. is for Venus), St. Marcus Mars (Mars), St. Shepard Ju Peter (Jupiter), and St. Jaygarcia Saturn (Saturn). The three ancient weapons are the rest of the planets. Uranus, Poseidon (Which the roman name would be Neptune), and Pluton (or Pluto). Poseidon, we know is also a person, Shirahoshi. It would make sense that Uranus and Pluton were also actual, physical people. But Pluton is a ship. However, we have seen before that ships in the One Piece world can have their own spirits, or personas. This has been shown with the Going Merry and the Sunny. The exact lore behind how this happens isnt totally clarified and so I think there are things about it we haven’t been told yet. It's possible that Pluton is not just a magnificent war ship but also holds the spirit of what may have been one of these Elders of the World government. Some kind of all encompassing power that has had major effects on the world in the past.
Now, going back to Blackbeard for a sec, if he does have a Cerberus devil fruit that has more interesting implications. Cerberus is the hound of Hades, the three headed dog that guards the entrance to the underworld. Another name for Hades is Pluto. It is very possible that Blackbeard works for this ancient weapon and that with the powers he has acquired, specifically with the quake-quake fruit, he intends to break the walls of Wano and finally release Pluton. He is, afterall, not too far from Wano at this very moment. It is possible that Pluton has been behind all of Blackbeards motives and actions.
Not only that, but Hades, the guardian of the underworld, is in a way the devil himself. I also think that not only is Pluton a person as well as a ship, but he is the original creator of the devil fruits. This might be one way to explain Blackbeards intimate knowledge of so many devil fruits including where to find them. Now, among the celestial bodies of our solar system that I listed, two were not accounted for. That was Earth and the Sun. I think the Sun is obvious to find. Joyboy. Nika the sun god. But then we have Imu, this new character who seems to be the head of it all. Umi, or Imu backwards, in Japanese means “the sea”. The whole world of One Piece is covered in the sea. So Imu could perhaps be our very own home planet, or at least some kind of embodiment of it. Now, if all of these Elder, these god like beings have some kind of dominion over different aspects of the world, then here is the conclusion to my theory.
Pluton and Imu at some point got into a big fight, likely over the creation of devil fruits. Imu took Plutons spirit and sealed him away in this world ending ship and then sunk him to the bottom of the sea, beneath Wano, putting up those walls to keep him there, and then declaring that all devil fruit users would be cursed by the sea, which he rules over.
Anyway, that's just some thoughts I had, but please help me fill in any things I might be missing and let me hear your ideas on all of this!

Hey gang - I don't know where to vent - so i'll vent here, I'm not sure if i'm in the wrong mindset. My partner (33F) is 14 weeks pregnant. (WOOT!) prior to this, we've been together for over 2 years. We both have been out of college and have about 7 YOE. I own my own home, my own cars, and we are both financially stable. We both agreed to start trying (if it happens it happens) 2 years into our relationship. we are both extremely excited about this next step in our life! I first told my brother and my parents. They both were even more excited than I, I loved it, I even have recordings of their reactions, it is beautiful. Then we decided to tell her mother and brother, granted, I've gotten really close with her brother, and her mother (we lived with them for 3 months while i closed on my home). When we told her mother, her mothers reaction was more of a 1.5 hr screaming fest; the repeated statements were; "How could you do this to me, you embarrassing me", "I taught you better", "What is wrong with you guys?", "How could you skip this step?", "This is wrong", "I am embarrassed" , "This makes me look bad", "I am disappointed in you (her daughter)". different ways of saying that, just because we weren't wed. I proceeded to be clam, and stand my ground, to ensure her, that her daughter is the love of my life, the barer of my child, I will fight for this family, I will love both of these people with ever being of my fiber. I told her my reason was that I would rather have a larger finical safety net to bring a child into this world since we are both 33, than to spend money on a wedding, and risk later life pregnancy. She would have non of this. As i watched my partner cry her face off, while her mother just stood there laying waste with her unsupportive words. I was torn, I am a big family guy. I only have a tiny circle (my clan) that i keep close... I told her mom, "I'm sorry you feel this way, what can i do to make you feel better?" she continued to just yell the same sentiment.. I looked at my partner, knowing she should NOT be stressed during this time of pregnancy, and said 'lets leave and give each other space' my partner didn't want to (in respect for her mom - we are both asian) but I insisted we leave. We did, I told her "respectfully I think we all need some space, if you allow us, we would like to leave right now", she said "ok".
I could not sleep for a couple nights (its been 3 weeks) the words she said cut like knives.. I feel offended, I feel so angry. Logically, in my mind i think, if you are a parent, your job is to watch your children.. they fumble, they fail, but you guide them you support them. How could you ever tell them their actions are a mistake and embarrassment.. furthermore.. her daughter is pregnant, she is experiencing so many emotions, especially fear.. how could you not put aside your feeling, and know at this very moment your daughter is looking for your support.. how could you let your daughter down when she needs you the MOST. I am twisted up, because I thought I was a good judge of character.. but wow all i come up with is selfish individual... who just cares about themselves.. This mother is supposed to be an adult.. all that angry and anguish all because... ? we weren't married? because we 'skipped' a step? all because we didn't fit into their cookie cutter norms.. I spiraled further questioning myself.. then came back around.. I grew up in a trailer.. no money, I fought tooth and nail, to put myself in college, to learn, to grow, to buy myself a car, to buy myself a home, and to get myself to a point I love. Yet how am i so irked by this person.. how can this person even understand what I went through. they don't, I think i'm just so conflicted. Sometimes I wish I could go and let her know a piece of my mind, I love family, and the thought of putting a rut between my partner and her mother also kills me.. I don't want that, but I don't want someone with those values of "self", "me", "me" around my child. Ever since then, so much of my why my partner and her brother are the way they are makes sense. I just want to let this mother know, "I am disappointed in myself, for letting someone so selfish come so close to me, I forgive but I don't forget. Lastly Thank you, thank you for raising someone to NOT be like you"
sorry - I guess... in some big part of this whole post is my having this bottled up emotion, being conflicted, and not able or willing to put this stress on my pregnant partner.
Thanks for listening.

baby is 10 and a half months, 9 months adjusted tomorrow as she was 7 weeks premature. took her up to bed at 18:30 after a bath, red light, rain sounds, dark, cream, pjs, sleep sack, bedtime book and nurse. fell asleep for 19:00, at about 19:08 put her in crib. woke up within 2 mins. nurse again for agesss and wasnt falling asleep. try patting back while on my chest which wasn’t working and she was getting annoyed so put in crib about 19:50 and attempt to pat back for 20 mins and give up. nurse again, 20:30(?) she stopped and patted her back on my chest and she was fussing so bounced her, started fussing again at this point in getting angry and just cried. then put her in the crib patted for back for a bit, she stopped wriggling and fell asleep at 20:51. at least it wasn’t like the two nights before this where it was the same except she was screaming. today she had two naps, woke up at quarter to 8. first nap can’t remember how long but she woke at 11 but second was 14:30ish till 15:08 (started nursing at 14:00).
shes never been a good sleeper, but the past while had consistently gone down easy for bed. bedtime routine was always between 7-8, dim red light pjs nappy book nurse etc. morning wakeup could be anytime like 6 7 8 9. only in recent months has she started sleeping in her crib instead of our bed because i started putting her down on her belly. im implementing anew stricter routine in the hope it helps. bath, getting ready for bed 6:30, lotion, nappy, pjs, sleepsack, book, nurse. with the same red light and rain sounds. with waking her in the morning at a set time (either 6:30 or 7, not sure which at the moment). i have blackout curtains but they aren’t 100% and with it being near summer its not 100% dark, so ive brought a portable blackout curtain and it should hopefully be here thursday or friday.
her naps have always been all over the place, being 20-40 mins. before today being either 2-3x, hadn’t really been tracking wake windows too much. if we are out of the house she will be too distractible to nap most of the time. when she was littler i had to rock and bounce for up to an hour and it was IMPOSSIBLE to put her in her crib, it got better and she would nurse and conk out but now i feel like shes just getting worse. she can wake up 3-5 times per night on top of now it being a struggle to get her down for bed. i’m at the brink now and just hating being a mother, having feelings of hating even her and i get so angry. sleep issues, weaning going nowhere, tired of nursing, especially nights like this it makes my skin crawl. sometimes i just want to run away. i don’t know what to do anymore. i was vehemently against cio but now i just dont know what to do. whether its cio or paying a sleep consultant with money i dont have. i just do not know what to do anymore. im just so tired of it all. sorry if this is a bit all over the place it is a big vent but any advice is appreciated.

My now ex job(food factory)has fired me because I kept complaining about a line lead who has harassing me and calling me fat ass, weak man, unintelligent man and whole bunch of other out of pocket names in Spanish thinking I did not know what he was saying. He been doing it from day one I started working there and at first I let it slide because I try not start even more work hostilities even more than what is all ready there at work or respond to the bulling or better yet out of pocket thing someone be saying. However it got to the point where I wanted to hurt the guy because I told him many times to stop fucking with me but he wouldn’t listen so I reported him to the higher ups. Nothing was being done about it so I told the guy to his face one day that if he didn’t want to fight me stfu and stop fucking with before something terrible going to happen to you. He stop bothering me for awhile but then started it back up later on so I took it up even higher ups but when I did they said I was terrible at my job and I can’t do my job that I was shit at it and that I complain to much about others but can’t take responsibility for my own work and that is when I lost it. So I got into a heated argument with the higher up about showing me respect and you can’t talk to me like I’m a child we are both grown ass man who do you think you are? So I cuss him out about his behavior so he hit me with the power trip I send your fucking ass home and document you for your bad behavior. I look him in the eyes and respond with, so you going to write me up but won’t do anything about the other guy? For harassing me and making a hostile work place? Fuck you I’m going home for the day I’m not putting up with this bullshit! Got a call the next day saying I’m fired for cussing out a supervisor and a HR lady which I never did is one of the craziest part. The HR lady me and her have a very honest conversations so Ik the supervisor is a full of shit unless she lied to them as well idk anymore. I change the name of the company to factory below.
“You are not allowed on the property. They are going to cut your lock. They provided a very detailed report of what happened when they moved you from the dough room. That behavior really isn't acceptable at all. They noted you do not have take responsibility for any of your actions. You always blame someone else, or your tools, or the equipment. That is an issue in a work environment. Everyone messes up, that's how we learn.”
“The factory stated you got hostile with the HR coordinator and the production supervisor on why you were not in the dough room. Working with factory an associate can be moved around where they are needed. And using any type of swearing against any factory or temp associate is not tolerated.”
(Side note) I have high standards and I don’t like to joke or play around at work. I’m not there to make friends or make people happy I’m there to do a job make sure everything is running smoothly and go home. I’ve never apologies for who I am and been unapologetic for it all. I don’t take my personal life to work and work life home Ik how to separate the two once I hit the clock in and out machine. Lots of people hate me for how I am but I could care less as long as my job gets done. You are hired to get a job done so get it done. ( side side note) my grandfather always told me that A man should get a job done no matter what if he was hired for it. When he was on his death bed he told me to not stop going to work and keep moving forward don’t cry for him and be happy and just move forward. Yea it was really hard but that man kept me going. I understand not everyone can just move on and whatever but at least separate your lives Best you can. I understand what I said earlier will get lot of people mad but I’ll live with it tell I die. I’m looking to sue the company for loss of wages, emotional distress and hostile work environment. Maybe discrimination since they know I have a disability… talk to me people. How should I move forward!!?? Am I wrong?? I’ve never been so humiliated at a job before and felt betrayed that I just lost it.

My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had for breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
"...umm "My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.

"...umm "

Part two of the noodle demon.
Now that this creature knelt before me I realized that the room I was in was so terrible quietly you could hear everyone's ass get tight in anticipation of what would happen next.
" ...what...are you. "
I spoke carefully to the being that had taken the shape of myself. It still took my breath away and my throat was dry.
The beast was a deep green. The color mixed with shades of grey streaming from it. The longer I looked at it I could see it getting closer to what I looked like shaping itself.
From small flowing green tendrils to an arm they grew as they twisted and made bone then muscle and finally skin.
It locked eyes with me and it smiled deeply at me. As it formed the face finally.
" Your vassle. "
My eyes had not moved to the crowd at all but even though the lights hit the stage so hard it was enveloped in smoke.
The creature's eyes glowed as it answered brightly, not figuratively. This thing's eyes were glowing.
"To serve you, We are bound by blood magic. I am a reflection of your desires, Master, " it said, its voice now a whisper in my mind.
It began to stand up as my grey suit began to form on it and by the time it stood fully up it had copied what I looked like.
" let me explain everything. "
My body frozen in fear woke up with adrenaline as I blinked and a flash of green smoke covered my vision as he teleported right to me face to face.
Its body turned to smoke and went into the slits of my eyes. I felt visions follow me in my peripheral vision but surprisingly no pain followed power filled me and it felt like one hell of a drug.
My body and mind altered.
I was now in a very dark place with no walls or light except my reflection on the floor which waved like water.
I took a step back looking around and back to the reflection of me on the ground.
Soon the water rippled and my reflection fell through the floor like gravity was inverted. he flew upright and water fell off of him as he looked at me as he now stood straight ahead of me. He was just reflecting in the water but now eyed me down.
Collecting my nerves.
I begin to speak.
" what do you want..."
He was still in my form and stood perfectly straight. Now with water dripping from his...my hair.
Slight stubble with hair that hung down and my hazel eyes were not present within him but I was greeted with a swelling acidic green that doubled the size of my pupil.
" to serve you. "
He made no other movement than putting his hands behind his back like a soldier at ease.
I could not tell if it was lying or not.
" ...is that it? "
" I am the embodiment of your fear desires and brilliance. You have shaped me. Your desire for solitude birthed me. I will aid you in shaping the world how you see fit. Your reality becomes mine. "
There was a slight echo in the room as he spoke.
" wait...where are we "
I questioned haphazardly
" your mind. "
An awkward silence was in the air until I spoke
" so...am I just standing on the stage not making a sound? "
He gave me a concerned look.
" no...time has frozen outside for you. You may sleep here without having to in the real world so to others you look as if you never rest and you may think and plan what to do in battle here. For them, it will be about two seconds...Do...do you not have any knowledge of what I am? "
Suddenly I felt bad like I had encountered someone famous and I had no idea who they were. A slap in the face like a popular kid meeting someone who had never heard of them. Ego shattered.
" ok sorry no. I...don't go around reading about...monsters?"
I felt like was I saying the n-word of the demon realm not knowing if that word was offensive.
He folded his arms a little upset.
"Are you not a warrior? "
" well...no I...just watch TV and cook here and there- "
The demon cut me off
" weak. "
" excuse me? "
" look. I am an immortal being and after a while you get bored. So I'm sorry if I may be a little upset after being bonded with some nobody. "
I got quiet and I was a little annoyed that I was being roasted by some demon that I just met.
Its form wavers and eyes begin to open on its skin. Cheeks forhead etc.
"After being a god for so long it's fun to play with limitations. Makes things extremely exciting. "
" what do you mean by that? "
" look. You can only be so entertained by the same things. Life gets boring and now...you are going to help me with this. I get to have pure entertainment while you get every wish you could ever want. A mutual bond no? "
He then closed his eyes annoyed and the other eyes meshed back to his skin.
" though... the TV is not that interesting...life is what gets the blood pumping"
I felt the need to quickly change the topic
"Are there others like you? "
The room began to take shape very slowly as the water floor turned to wood and walls went around us.
" of course. You may meet them one day "
Confused and curious I pressed.
"Meet them? "
" yes. Summoning one of us is considered a threat to them. "
He spoke while opening and closing his newly found hand except backward.
" hm...no that don't look right "
I quickly responded
" Wait! How is doing that a threat! "
"Well, one doesn't just accidentally Summon one of us to suddenly get powers beyond human control. "
I thought back to how I summoned him by accident with some food I made.
" well...funny story but I summoned you using my breakfast..."
I had never regretted speaking so much as in that moment.
" What... "
Acid dripped from his words. Literally. His pupils split in half and his bottom jaw ripped open like an ant and curved giving sharpness to the bone.
"Please don't kill me. "
The room began to look like a cozy cabin with a fireplace and he slowly went back to normal.
" I would if I could. I've never felt so disrespected. We are bonded by your blood. If you die...I die. "
Suddenly I felt at ease by this new information.
Then a thought came to my mind
" ...God's can die? "
" you did hear me, right? "
The SAS from this guy was unneeded and I was starting to miss him being on his knees as weird as that sounds.
" so...all that power gone.... in an instant... "
" well...no actually God's powers don't just disappear they transfer to whoever killed them...wait...hold up."
He suddenly had an epiphany.
A smile grew on his face and he grabbed my shoulders
" you! You are going to help me kill the other gods! "
He sounded proud but I let him down.
" ha! No. "
" oh come on! Don't be like that. "
He did a pout.
"Look, man. I'm not killing gods for you. Just because you are bored. "
" hey...they might send people to kill you because you bonded with me. "
"What did I ever do to them? "
"They have a system to this stuff. They like to build and watch things play out. You're a problem. That can mess it up. So...they kill ya...to be honest, I don't know any other way to explain it, man. You know people normally just use my power to kill people and become a king and know this already. "
"This is outrageous. "
" bro. Look if you do this I will be able to get their powers and you will be able to do so much more than what I offer "
I tilted my head
" what can you do? Know what never mind. I will just talk to them and figure things out. "
He groaned and his form melted down sagging and it shot back up reforming
"Is there not anything that you want? Anything in the world? Gods don't put themselves in physical forms. They give people power and can make beings to hunt you. And if they care enough to come down themself. Ha, good luck."
I stopped and thought about it trying to weigh the options of pissing off higher beings.
Suddenly. I found something.
"Can you bring back the dead..."
He stopped confused.
" well...no "
" then I don't want anything "
" wait! "
He threw his arms out pleading
"I don't...but another God does..."
He crosses his arms smiling. He had left the question hanging letting me reconsider his offer.
I stopped and thought for a while before looking back up to him.
I let out a sigh and looked him in the eyes
" ok...you are going to help me get my father back. "
The demon smirked.