Hey, everyone. This is a throwaway account just to avoid any issues. I posted here a couple hours ago with my main account, but deleted just in case. I'm happy to provide my other account to the mods if needed. Also, I'm so sorry in advance for the long post. I just needed to at least hear some kind words, so thank you for hearing me out.
My wife struggles with BPD, Bipolar 2, and CPTSD. She also suffers from Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Hashimoto’s, and Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria. We’ve been together for about 15 years, and while everything has been extremely hard, I want to stress that I do not blame her for anything. She is in DBT and Trauma Therapy, and is actively trying to work on herself. She accepts responsibility when she’s aware of a problem and tries her best to remedy things where she can. I love her and appreciate all the hard work she puts into trying to fix things and learn where she can improve.
With that said, I can’t fully express how hard things can get on my end. She’s federally disabled, so she stays at home and just focuses on herself as much as she can. The world can be challenging, though, especially with her degree of disability, so she doesn’t go out much. She ends up feeling very alone and has created a codependent situation where she doesn’t feel comfortable going out unless I’m with her, and when she’s not having a good BPD day, approaches me as if I am required to provide her that support or attention and failing to be there for her or failing to want to do those things is treated equivalently to depriving her of an emotional need. She doesn’t act that way when she’s doing well, but when she has a bad day (which can be somewhat often), that’s when I’m blamed. With this, my life is just going to work, working as hard as I can to support her, coming home, giving her all my free time because she’s been alone all day, repeating that until the weekend when I do work around or outside of the house, and give all my free time to her again. I understand how unhealthy it is to not have any form of self-care available to me, but so much as mentioning that I want to do something for me can sometimes devolve into abuse, so I often just stop trying and do my best to get some enjoyment out of the time I give to her.
Outside of those social issues, she also tends to use a coping mechanism she’s developed over the years on me. Whenever she has very heavy feelings about a situational thing (i.e. something that she has no control of or any outlet for, like a cherished pet dying, where she can’t blame or attack anyone but still creates heavy feelings), she doesn’t seem to know how to work through those feelings in a healthy way and ends up holding onto them until they pile up. Her way of coping, then, is to latch onto any problem she can find from me (or anyone else in the way, but typically just me), blow up that problem as big as she can, then try to shove all her feelings into that problem by attacking or emotionally abusing me. And, if that problem is too small to justify all those feelings, then she will pull in any problem she can from the past – small problems, large problems, unresolved problems, resolved problems, things to do with me, or even things that have nothing to do with me. She’ll then take those issues and continue adding it to the base problem until she feels like she’s offloaded all her feelings and can move on. I’ve attempted to tell her about the coping mechanism a few times in the past, but when she started using the fact that I wanted to talk about a problem to use her coping mechanism on me, I stopped trying to bring it up.
So, with these two main issues, things can be an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I’m chained up in a corner, where sometimes she comes over to really love and care about me, and other times she stops by just to emotionally beat me. I feel so extremely alone, all the time. But, what makes it worse is that I know it’s not really her fault. She’s getting the help she needs and is actively working on her issues. She feels remorse whenever I’m able to talk with her about these issues, and tries her best to support me when she’s doing well. If she wasn’t actively trying to fix the issues, or didn’t accept responsibility for her actions, I would likely be okay just walking away. But, she needs a support system. She needs someone there to help her or she will never get better. It’s like there are two very distinct people I’m married to – one that is loving, kind, appreciative, and supportive, and the other is angry, spiteful, and abusive. And, I know if I walk away from the abusive side of her, I have to abandon the side of her that I love, and that’s just not something I’m willing to do. She deserves support just as much as anyone else, but it’s just so extremely hard, all the time.
I will say, I was able to very recently get her to accept couple’s therapy. I know it’s going to be tricky because she has actively tried to discredit my therapists in the past when they say things she doesn’t agree with. So, I know if we get a couple’s therapist that she doesn’t have some kind of default trust in, there’s the risk she will fall into that mindset again. She does fully trust her therapist at this point, so I asked her to get a recommendation from him in an attempt to create some default trust in whomever we end up seeing together. Today is her next therapy session, so hopefully she comes back with a name and contact information for us to set up our first session. I sincerely wish we didn’t have to do couple’s therapy because most insurances don’t cover couple’s, which means I have to pay out of pocket with money I don’t have. But, the alternative is just remain chained up in the corner with no end in sight, and I just don’t think I have it in me to continue this cycle without entirely just falling apart.
I’m so sorry for the long post. I’m sorry for anyone that made it this far, but thank you for any support you can provide. I don’t want to leave her. I want to support her as much as I can, and hopefully couple’s therapy finally makes things better. But, for now, I feel so extremely alone, so thank you for hearing me out. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

My wife and I have been together for 6 years. She says that we don't spend enough time together and that I'm not attentive enough. She thinks I don't care all while telling me on a daily basis that she hates me because of it.
Here's what she expects, per the text she sent me 15 minutes ago:
(We both get home around 5:00 PM after work)
Sit with her while she cooks dinner
Eat with her (nothing wrong with this, I enjoy it.)
After eating, sit with her and watch a show.
Then grab her some clothes and towels and take them to the batheoom
Sit with her while she takes a bath.
After, sit with her in the bed till she's ready to go to sleep.
By this time it's about 9:30 or 10:00 PM. I still have things to do. This doesn't include cleaning, taking care of the dogs or any of the numerous things I have to do personally every day.
I go to bed at 12PM - 1AM every night. I wake up at 5AM.
If I can't fulfill this she loses her shit.
Just to put things in perspective. I'm working my normal job, and working with my dad to build his business at the same time. Good money and more is coming so I'm doing everything I can to make it. I work 6 days a week. She is pregnant and I'm doing everything I can to please her, provide for her and a future for my child. I can't catch a break and honestly my mental health has taken a massive hit. She constantly reminds me of how terrible I am and how much she hates me.
Idk what to do. I love her though. Very much so.
This is the last text she sent me:
"no, you've been shitty and at this point I don't think your capable of being any better."
How am I supposed to remedy this? She's not listening to me at all. It doesn't matter what I say, she's right and I'm wrong. How do I fix this issue?
TL;DR
Wife has a todo list 10 miles long, it's driving me nuts.

Hey, everyone. This is a throwaway account just to avoid any issues. I know getting support is the point of this subreddit, but I still feel badly offloading on anyone, so I’ll start by saying I’m sorry and thank you.
My wife struggles with BPD, Bipolar 2, and CPTSD. She also suffers from Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Hashimoto’s, and Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria. We’ve been together for about 15 years, and while everything has been extremely hard, I want to stress that I do not blame her for anything. She is in DBT and Trauma Therapy, and is actively trying to work on herself. She accepts responsibility when she’s aware of a problem and tries her best to remedy things where she can. I love her and appreciate all the hard work she puts into trying to fix things and learn where she can improve.
With that said, I can’t fully express how hard things can get on my end. She’s federally disabled, so she stays at home and just focuses on herself as much as she can. The world can be challenging, though, especially with her degree of disability, so she doesn’t go out much. She ends up feeling very alone and has created a codependent situation where she doesn’t feel comfortable going out unless I’m with her, and when she’s not having a good BPD day, approaches me as if I am required to provide her that support or attention and failing to be there for her or failing to want to do those things is treated equivalently to depriving her of an emotional need. She doesn’t act that way when she’s doing well, but when she has a bad day (which can be somewhat often), that’s when I’m blamed. With this, my life is just going to work, working as hard as I can to support her, coming home, giving her all my free time because she’s been alone all day, repeating that until the weekend when I do work around or outside of the house, and give all my free time to her again. I understand how unhealthy it is to not have any form of self-care available to me, but so much as mentioning that I want to do something for me can sometimes devolve into abuse, so I often just stop trying and do my best to get some enjoyment out of the time I give to her.
Outside of those social issues, she also tends to use a coping mechanism she’s developed over the years on me. Whenever she has very heavy feelings about a situational thing (i.e. something that she has no control of or any outlet for, like a cherished pet dying, where she can’t blame or attack anyone but still creates heavy feelings), she doesn’t seem to know how to work through those feelings in a healthy way and ends up holding onto them until they pile up. Her way of coping, then, is to latch onto any problem she can find from me (or anyone else in the way, but typically just me), blow up that problem as big as she can, then try to shove all her feelings into that problem by attacking or emotionally abusing me. And, if that problem is too small to justify all those feelings, then she will pull in any problem she can from the past – small problems, large problems, unresolved problems, resolved problems, things to do with me, or even things that have nothing to do with me. She’ll then take those issues and continue adding it to the base problem until she feels like she’s offloaded all her feelings and can move on. I’ve attempted to tell her about the coping mechanism a few times in the past, but when she started using the fact that I wanted to talk about a problem to use her coping mechanism on me, I stopped trying to bring it up.
So, with these two main issues, things can be an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I’m chained up in a corner, where sometimes she comes over to really love and care about me, and other times she stops by just to emotionally beat me. I feel so extremely alone, all the time. But, what makes it worse is that I know it’s not really her fault. She’s getting the help she needs and is actively working on her issues. She feels remorse whenever I’m able to talk with her about these issues, and tries her best to support me when she’s doing well. If she wasn’t actively trying to fix the issues, or didn’t accept responsibility for her actions, I would likely be okay just walking away. But, she needs a support system. She needs someone there to help her or she will never get better. It’s like there are two very distinct people I’m married to – one that is loving, kind, appreciative, and supportive, and the other is angry, spiteful, and abusive. And, I know if I walk away from the abusive side of her, I have to abandon the side of her that I love, and that’s just not something I’m willing to do. She deserves support just as much as anyone else, but it’s just so extremely hard, all the time.
I will say, I was able to very recently get her to accept couple’s therapy. I know it’s going to be tricky because she has actively tried to discredit my therapists in the past when they say things she doesn’t agree with. So, I know if we get a couple’s therapist that she doesn’t have some kind of default trust in, there’s the risk she will fall into that mindset again. She does fully trust her therapist at this point, so I asked her to get a recommendation from him in an attempt to create some default trust in whomever we end up seeing together. Today is her next therapy session, so hopefully she comes back with a name and contact information for us to set up our first session. I sincerely wish we didn’t have to do couple’s therapy because most insurances don’t cover couple’s, which means I have to pay out of pocket with money I don’t have. But, the alternative is just remain chained up in the corner with no end in sight, and I just don’t think I have it in me to continue this cycle without entirely just falling apart.
I’m so sorry for the long post. I’m sorry for anyone that made it this far, but thank you for any support you can provide. I don’t want to leave her. I want to support her as much as I can, and hopefully couple’s therapy finally makes things better. But, for now, I feel so extremely alone, so thank you for hearing me out. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

ALFALFA AND NETTLE LEAF
Everyone needs to check this out.
I’ve been looking for a remedy to help with chronic allergies for nearly 10 years. It gets worse during allergy season, but remains steady throughout the year.
I’ve tried everything under the sun…nasal spray, antihistamines, multiple allergy tests, pills, ginger, turmeric, diet changes (low histamine, low inflammatory), etc. None of those did anything at all, except Benadryl (which was effective), but made me into a zombie and fall asleep after 2 hours.
After hearing Bart Sibrel on Joe Rogan mention alfalfa to remedy allergies, I started using alfalfa and nettle leaf in tea about a week ago. I also made them into capsules, but that didn’t seem to be as effective. Since then, my allergies have been reduced by at least 80%.
Miracle!!!!
Boil water and then put about half a teaspoon of nettle and half a teaspoon of alfalfa in and let steep for about 10 minutes, drink up. I’ve been doing this about 3 times a day.
These links will get you where you need to go:
https://homesteadingfamily.com/easy-home-remedy-for-allergies/
https://www.farmhouseteas.com

ALFALFA AND NETTLE LEAF
Everyone needs to check this out.
I’ve been looking for a remedy to help with chronic allergies for nearly 10 years. It gets worse during allergy season, but remains steady throughout the year.
I’ve tried everything under the sun…nasal spray, antihistamines, multiple allergy tests, pills, ginger, turmeric, diet changes (low histamine, low inflammatory), etc. None of those did anything at all, except Benadryl (which was effective), but made me into a zombie and fall asleep after 2 hours.
After hearing Bart Sibrel on Joe Rogan mention alfalfa to remedy allergies, I started using alfalfa and nettle leaf in tea about a week ago. I also made them into capsules, but that didn’t seem to be as effective. Since then, my allergies have been reduced by at least 80%.
Miracle!!!!
Boil water and then put about half a teaspoon of nettle and half a teaspoon of alfalfa in and let steep for about 10 minutes, drink up. I’ve been doing this about 3 times a day.
These links will get you where you need to go:
https://homesteadingfamily.com/easy-home-remedy-for-allergies/
https://www.farmhouseteas.com

ALFALFA AND NETTLE LEAF
Everyone needs to check this out.
I’ve been looking for a remedy to help with chronic allergies for nearly 10 years. It gets worse during allergy season, but remains steady throughout the year.
I’ve tried everything under the sun…nasal spray, antihistamines, multiple allergy tests, pills, ginger, turmeric, diet changes (low histamine, low inflammatory), etc. None of those did anything at all, except Benadryl (which was effective), but made me into a zombie and fall asleep after 2 hours.
After hearing Bart Sibrel on Joe Rogan mention alfalfa to remedy allergies, I started using alfalfa and nettle leaf in tea about a week ago. I also made them into capsules, but that didn’t seem to be as effective. Since then, my allergies have been reduced by at least 80%.
Miracle!!!!
Boil water and then put about half a teaspoon of nettle and half a teaspoon of alfalfa in and let steep for about 10 minutes, drink up. I’ve been doing this about 3 times a day.
These links will get you where you need to go:
https://homesteadingfamily.com/easy-home-remedy-for-allergies/
https://www.farmhouseteas.com

Hello party people, not sure if I came to the right place but got a situation on our hands. Went to tour a SF ranch home in our area and as soon as we walked in there was a noticable damp & musty smell that permeated the whole house. There was no crawl space (house was built effectively on top of the dirt with less than 2 inches between them) or vapor barrier. We are thinking water is coming down the property and settling under the house, also evident from some wobbly floor joists. From an initial call with a mold remediation company, since we cannot properly address the source of the water by getting under the house we can attempt to remove the existing mold but the problem will always come back. We suspect this is a big deal since if we wanted to address the source of the water we're talking jacking the house up, digging a new crawl space, etc - AKA some major, labor-intensive, and costly work, but aren't sure. We can't even scrub down the moldy floor joists since they're under the damn house!
We have a bit of a unique situation- for us, the property is more interesting than the house (6 acres). My husband is a builder and we would likely live on the land in a travel trailer for a year or two while we build up a new house on that land. I guess I'm curious in y'all's opinions, how big of a deal are these mold/water problems and are we crazy for thinking the house is a complete tear down? We offered about 60% under asking, which is a fair price for the land alone, but don't know if we're out of our minds or if you can truly make the mold situation livable. Thanks in advance

Humanity was dead and buried for a while now, one of the myriads of species to drop off the stage of life, unsung and forgotten. Hundreds of millions of years have passed without humans, and no one really noticed, but their story had another chapter in the writing.
In a year too far off to be adequately represented by primitive calendar systems, another species took on the galactic spotlight. Young and intrepid, they quickly spread out from their home star and colonized big swathes of space, implementing their own manifest destiny.
In terms of biology, they were far removed from any arthropodic semblance. If terrestrial animals were to be involved, for the sake of example by comparison, the ones that would least offend future biologists would be corals.
The aliens’ bodies were made of soft, spongy material that coalesced into thick cylinders, about a man’s height and half as thick. One end would often be attached to something, be it nutrient rich rock or motorized vehicles, while the other terminated with an impressive dendritic structure of feelers and other motile bits.
Perhaps due to their sedentary biology, their kind was always thoughtful, or as more malicious sources would put it, slow. Every action was preceded by lengthy deliberations, internal or otherwise, which often led to rational outcomes. As such, they were considered peaceful and friendly, often avoiding conflict even when their own interests suffered. They were awfully smug about it, and viewed themselves as superior to everybody else, as living things often do.
When not dealing with others, they were hopeless romantics and deeply introspective. They were by no means lazy, but felt that only jobs constructive to the soul were worth doing, and those could vary wildly depending on the individual. Once their empire covered a healthy chunk of the galaxy, they had the time and means to further indulge in this quirk of theirs. Through the efforts of many great philosophers and generations of trial and error, they reached the conclusion that almost any work is worth doing, as long as it was enjoyable to the person performing it. The theory was eventually put into practice, and led to many productive communities across the empire with happy and fulfilled workers. Their planets exploded with the beautiful work of myriads of artists, and their starports built the ingenious designs of their engineers. The mundane occupations were considered to have an innate nobility to them that many of their kind appreciated, and professions like mining and farming never went out of style.
In short, their nation flourished thanks to their ideals. But one type of job always remained a problem. No one could be found that would frankly enjoy doing it, and the ruling body didn’t want to disrupt the souls of the citizenry by mandating it. Problematically, if the posts remained unfilled, the government became sluggish and ineffective. The job was that of the governmental clerk.
In the spirit of unity, many tried to force themselves to do it. This often led to willful euthanasia of the workers, who felt their existence had permanently and irrevocably lost all meaning after several months on the job.
Unfortunately for them, they were poor roboticists and software engineers, and creating synthetic personnel was out of the question. In contrast, their fluency in the biological sciences was stupendous, and it would’ve been a trifle to produce individuals fine tuned for the position. But according to their ethics, such manipulations affected the soul, and were a societal anathema.
While dealing with this problem, due to an inconceivably improbable coincidence alien scientists managed to recover the DNA of several long, long dead humans. The aliens’ convictions about the spirit, its health and wellbeing, didn’t fully extend toward other species, and that produced a unique opportunity. After the due deliberation on the matter, the human species was resurrected, and put to good work as clerks, thus finally propelling the imperial machinery into motion.
Through indoctrination, it was ingrained into every person of the new-old species that they held a tremendous debt to their benefactors. After all, every human that would ever exist from that point on, could track their ancestry to someone revived by the aliens. It was an immense burden, but ever the product of their environment, the new humans took it on eagerly, and passed it to their children, and grandchildren, creating a caste of indentured servant clerks.
Every human would be required to work for sixty years in the civil service, right after their one year of accelerated growth to maturity, and after that would be allowed to retire. Their genetic makeup was tweaked, and many diseases cured. Top of the line healthcare was provided to all free of charge, and so missing a day’s work for being unwell was nearly unheard of. Childbaring happened through ectogenesis, and childcare was done by governmental services, by clerks, leaving young parents free to focus on their careers. Human holidays, sans resurrection day, were kept to a minimum, citing that being alive was a holiday in itself. At sixty, the generational debt was considered paid, and individuals were expected to have about twenty years of time left to explore various hobbies and work on their soul. Free euthanasia services were also available. It was often perceived by the human community that retirees received little to no healthcare, and that genetic switches made them outright die well before their twenty years were up. The reports were investigated by the suspected alien authorities themselves, and they were deemed invalid, untrue, and slanderous.
Direct communication between the two species was impossible. The coral aliens had no ears or eyes, and communicated with molecular signals that were undetectable to humans, except for the cases where they caused stuffy nose and other allergic reactions. Thus the two strata remained separate, and rarely intermingled.
For eons everybody was happy, and the empire prospered. The aliens were free to pursue whatever their souls desired, and the cogs of governmental machinery spun smoothly thanks to the human clerks.
With time however, checks and balances were loosened, and humanity realized their position came with significant power over the nation. Little by little they usurped the remaining ruling bodies, and took control of the entire system, heading the state into the future.
Change flashed like lightning, now here, and then gone, just an afterimage, the prolonged contemplative decision making a thing of the past. Where rationality once ruled was now the domain of self interest. Humanity steered the empire on its new course, and did what they had done hundreds of millions of years prior, and ran it into the ground. It wasn’t abrupt or sudden, it took generations, but gradually it succumbed to external pressures and internal friction. Its foundations shaken and its government corrupted, it had a slim chance to withstand, and went the way of all failed states and eventually disintegrated. Its neighbors consumed it, and its citizens were enslaved or purged, with time disappearing completely.
And thus, another chapter in humanity’s history closed with extinction. This time they didn’t go about it alone, and brought the alien corals along for the ride.

I have a 9 wk old. Last week he developed a bit of a cough. Earlier this week I took him to the doctors. He’s never had a fever. Sleeping, eating and pooping like normal. She told me it was just a regular cold and his body had to go through the motions.
At the beginning I was giving him a low dose of Tylenol (he’s the right weight for it) however I felt like it did nothing for him so I stopped.
He is in great spirits but this damn cough won’t go away. He has some phlegm which he has no idea how to spit out so that has been causing discomfort. Yesterday it started to really affect his eating. He will eat fine but the minute he starts coughing and we remove the bottle, he refuses to take it back. I’m at my wits end trying to ensure he is getting enough food and not losing weight. I have tried all the at home remedies to help with the cough and nothing is working.
Any advice would be appreciated. I’m a first time mom and just worried that he won’t get better or that he will start to lose weight.

My (29F) husband (40M) wants to sell our family home. What do I do?
Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I feel it’s only been helpful because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family. My husband says that he’s tired of the mortgage and feeling forced to work and missing out on spending time with our daughter (his job is very high stress).
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. I’m afraid of her being an only child of divorce; I imagine it’ll be lonely and emotionally traumatizing. He is a good father to her, even though he is cold (but civil) with me.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.

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Welcome back to a little more MARRIED Mary Mania before I wrap things up with The Abridged Goblinization. I decided that this bit deserved its own chapter. Some of you seem to be entertained by Mary (or at least entertained by your own loathing of her), so I hope this will prove amusing. In my life, I've encountered an inordinate number of low-key lolcows (probably because I was far too patient and far too passive for far too long), so I might as well throw just enough distortion on the page to protect the good guys and the genuinely reformed beards. But I'm also gonna shine a bright, unflattering spotlight on the lolcows, creeps, weirdos, pervs, and BEARDS, both neck and leg.
And I'll very, very cautiously tiptoe over the bit where I do a bunch of mental gymnastics, squint my eyes, tilt my head, and convince myself that dating Whisky might be a welcome change of pace. I have no delusions when I look back on it. This was a dumb move in retrospect, but all the mental gymnastics in the world can't bring me to a reasonable scenario where I was psychic and thus able to predict what he'd become once he stopped pretending to be a gentleman. Nor can the most elite, Olympic-level mental gymnastics execute a double salto layout with a half-twist perfectly enough to force me to concede the "logical point" that I should have spotted warning signs that I'd never freakin' seen before. Okay, that's enough saltiness for today. Don't worry. This chapter mostly focuses on Mary's mania. Whisky's just kind of... there.
So there I was... dating a guy who called when he said he would, remained constant in his affections, never asked for weird stuff in the sack (in fact, we weren't even intimate at that point), and claimed to be a secular humanist who practiced elements of Hinduism (as opposed to conveniently becoming born-again whenever it suited his needs to wallow in shame). And we seemed to have similar enough tastes in media, which made for pleasant movie nights and enjoyable conversations about nerdy stuff. It felt like a step up. It felt safe. At that point in time, I was content.
But here's a shameful admission for ya. My original intention was to make Whisky the "for now guy." I knew I could do better. I was formally educated, I was in shape, I was normatively attractive, and I tended to be successful in both my theatrical and academic endeavors. Plus, I was super friendly and good with people. Whisky was kind of a bump on a log. Sure, he seemed nice. He was sometimes able to make interesting conversation. But my overall sentiment regarding the relationship was, to quote Whisky's favorite catch phrase, "Meh."
I knew he was mooching off his mysterious "big bro," and he wasn't doing this with the intention of saving up and eventually becoming self-sufficient. He just kicked up a fuss whenever he wanted something, and... it usually appeared. I still thought he was physically unattractive, too. I hate nasty-ass beards, I have a strong preference for shorter guys (they don't need to be as short as Dennis, but I don't exactly love being towered over), and Whisky had whatever the dude version of resting bitch face is. I admonished myself for being shallow and decided to soldier on. Date after date. And I did kind of get used to all the shallow things I objected to.
But, really... Dating Whisky at all was a dick move on my part. Then again, how many Nice Guy (TM)s want girls to do exactly what I did? Not attracted? Think he's kind of a bum? Find him a bit boring? Just give him a chance!!! Go on a crap-ton of dates with him until you like the familiarity enough to settle for him. That's the key to a healthy relationship!!! It never works. You could flip this around and apply it to Nice Girls who want pity dates, too.
Anyway. Lucy knew I was dating Whisky, and she thought it was great. She was honestly just happy to see that I was no longer pining over Dennis and that Whisky was no longer getting relentlessly stalked by Mary. Speaking of Mary... She'd had an imaginary dramatic breakup with Scumbanger not long after she crashed Lucy's brunch. Murky aside... The following summer, I'd do another show with the pervy pest and I'd find out that Mary had given the former Rum Tum Tugger a tug in the parking lot of The Imp and had let him motorboat her. When dozens of lewd messaged filled his inbox the following day, the most indiscriminate playboy I'd ever met in my freakin' life blocked that clingy legbeard's number and never had any further contact with her. But seeing as neither of them are especially reliable sources, my best guess is that the truth is somewhere in between.
After the dramatic "breakup" with Scumbanger, Mary immediately became obsessed with the new tech guy (and his wife). They allegedly had something of a throuple situation going on, but no one ever witnessed any hard evidence of this. And then Mary and Tech Guy's wife allegedly had a catfight in the middle of the fancy restaurant where the three spent their date nights. Mary did have a shiner and a scraped knee for a few weeks, and she intimated to me that Chuckie was actually the one responsible for her looking a little rough...
I believed her because there was something very different about her demeanor when she told me this. When she was in larger groups, she just screeched about how she thought the catfight was foreplay until Tech Guy ghosted her. Yet again, we'll never know the truth. But I err on the side of belief when someone tells me that DV is going on in their home, even if I generally regard that person as a delusional pathological liar. Plus, Mary had never badmouthed Chuckie before and she never made excuses for her philandering. She just felt entitled to any ding-dong she desired. Bottom line, I think there was an unfortunate incident, and I urged her to report it. She didn't; but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And, yes. I think we're allowed to show compassion for Mary if Chuckie did indeed do what she was accusing him of. She absolutely deserved to get dumped in a spectacular fashion. No one deserves violence, though. But I think we're also allowed to laugh at Mary when she's acting like a crank-crazed maniac.
Moving on to lighter topics! Mary claimed to be having a hot, steamy affair with the artistic director of The Imp. At first, this seemed outlandish. But he had been the one to hire her. And he repeatedly refused to replace her when she consistently failed to learned her lines, ran around naked, and contributed little more than mukbangs to the comedy (again, I personally found it funny when she did that, but I was in the minority).
Some skullduggery was definitely afoot. Was it "sexy time," as Mary enthusiastically claimed? Who knows. Chuckie might have been paying the dude to give Mary a hobby. But not long after Mary started boasting about boning the artistic director, he suddenly began calling her out on her unprofessional behavior. They "broke up," but Mary managed to avoid getting kicked out of the improv troupe, bragging that she could sue the director for sexual harassment if he fired her.
And then... there was the pièce de résistance of Mary's misadventures in mating. She met a biker dude at Filthy McNasty's. This guys was disgusting. Most of her previous dudes had been questionable, weird, or possibly imaginary. But we all saw this one. He was as fat as a Hutt, he smelled like a grease trap, motor oil, B.O., and a very specific type of cheese... The few teeth that he had were black and green, his fingernails were yellowed and a few of them oozed pus. Finally, the volume and crackly, bubbly properties of his frequent farts indicated to George Gay that he, "definitely had a virgin booty." Mary's lard-ass loverboy called himself "Hogg," which was probably a reference to the two-wheeled vehicle that he was very obviously too large to actually ride. Or it might have just been an obvious nickname for a filthy fat fuck.
But Hogg, like Tech Guy a few loverboys ago, had a wife. And she made frequent appearances at Filthy's as well. Hogg's wife was shockingly... kind of pretty. A little rough around the edges. Didn't smell the greatest. But she stood in stark contrast to her repugnant hubby, even with her fried hair, her sloppily inked tats, and her imprecisely applied eye makeup. Her teeth were free of obvious rot. She had a beautiful figure. And she had a carefree attitude that was probably attractive to a number of people. She'd fart right along with Hogg, she didn't shave her legs, and the profane compound nouns she came up with always cracked me up (lard-tard, smegma-booger, felch-belcher).
And Mary was once again claiming to be in a throuple with The Hoggs. But this time, there was hard evidence. They'd get busy in some corner of the establishment, and even got booted from the dive bar a few times for lewd behavior, offensive odors, and illegal drug use. On one particular night, Mrs. Hogg lit one of her hubby's gargantuan ass-rippers while Mary was doing her thing, completely shrouded by his big belly. The blue flame ignited some spilt booze on the dingy floor, and a small fire erupted. The staff were able to stomp it out, but the nasty throuple was unceremoniously banished.
Alas, management allowed Mary to re-enter the bar because she apparently had some sort of sway with one of the bartenders. Instead of meeting her...uh... "partners" for some more boom-boom, Mary decided to come back inside and gush about Hogg's majestic rooster to all of us. She smelled like D cheese, ammonia, and burnt farts as she plopped down at our table, already screeching about how much bigger her "new boo" was, compared to that vile turd of an artistic director.
George Gay: Fuck me, Mary!!! You reek. Go wash the uncircumcised methhead off your hands and then you can sit with us.
Mary started to protest. Lucy cut her off. "Your whole body is probably a veritable Petri dish from fooling around with those nasty-ass people." She handed Mary some Purell. "Was the junkie junk off, keep the bottle, and don't you fucking touch me when you come back!"
Mary's bottom lip began to quiver and she looked pleadingly at me. "Just wash up," I told her. "You're too pretty to go around smelling like that.”
Off she went to the dingy bathroom. Maybe I wasn't harsh enough, but flattery got results in this instance. And when she returned, she had managed to dilute the stench enough so that we could stand to sit at the same table with her.
Mary took a deep breath in preparation to gush about something that would have undoubtedly been disgusting, but George cut her off this time. "Mare. How do you even BANG someone with a belly like that?"
Mary (speaking a bit more quickly than usual): Oh, it just takes some creative positioning. We get him to lie down. If Mrs. Hogg is taking in the rod, I hold his bowl of jelly up with both arms and stick my cooter in his face. He eats it like his mommy made it! And when it's my turn to get blasted, the missus uses a bunch of yoga straps to hold it up. I have to take it from behind because my own little tiny bit of va-jiggle-jaggle bumps up against his bowl of jelly if why try to smash like vanilla people. It's so much fun, though!!! And then he props his bowl of jelly up on the coffee table and plays with himself while he watches his honey strap on a dil...
George: I so regret asking.
Mary: They're sooo fun to fool around with! I think they might be my forever partners! (Her hands were too shaky to slide down her body in unbridled ecstasy, so she clasped them together and hid them underneath her itty bitty little gunt.)
Lucy: So when are you gonna dump Chuck?
Mary: Well... Hogg and the missus don't have much scratch. And what they do have, they spend on smokeables. When I meet a real sugar daddy, I'll get rid of Chuckle. He pretended to be a baller before we got married. But he's just middle management and he's content to stay there. Pffffftt. No ambition.
Mary launched into another long, unnecessarily graphic gushing about her garbage partners and their nasty-ass boom-boom. So I decided this would be a good time to clear my conscience about dating Whisky. Mary hadn't so much as mentioned him in months. She was inexplicably smitten with The Hoggs. And her ultimate dream man was obviously some filthy rich dude (perhaps a literally filthy dude who was also rich), which took Whisky out of the running. I still think it would have been amusing if Mary had tried to date Mori...
I waited for her adult film star gasp to wind down before I finally interjected, "Wow. Sounds like you've got a fantastic sex life right now!"
Mary: I do! You need to get over that born-again weirdo and find a real man so that you and I can have good girl talk!
Me: Well... I'm not banging anybody, but I am dating somebody. Sort of. It's not really that big of a deal. I'm not even sure that I'm completely into him. But he's been super sweet to me...
Lucy put her arm around me, almost as if she knew I was about to need protection.
Mary: TELL ME!
I hesitated. "Well... It's Whiskers."
In an instant, George jumped up and grabbed Mary by the shoulders, lest she lunge at me.
But Mary got very quiet. Silent tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She gasped and buried her face in her hands, now emitting one seemingly endless, impossibly high-pitched whine.
George loosened his grip and began to pat her on the back. Lucy's grip tightened on me and she whispered, "Here we go. Overreaction sequence has commenced."
Mary lifted her red, tear-stained face and glared at me. "HOW COULD YOU???"
Me: Mary, I swear. I thought you hated his guts. I haven't heard you talk about him in ages. When he asked, I thought it would be good for me to give him a chance since he's always been really sweet to me.
Mary: But what about the way he treated ME??? He was such an asshole!
Lucy: Was he? Mary, you stalked the guy. If he was rude, it was only because you weren't taking NO for an answer.
Mary: He never told me he wanted to end things. He just kept ghosting me. But whenever I showed up at his house and jumped on him, we always wound up smashing. Eventually.
I didn't have the gumption at that point in my life to suggest to Mary that it's wrong on every imaginable level to coerce someone into intimate activity, regardless of gender. And even knowing what Whiskers would eventually become, he didn't deserve THAT. I should have called her out. Instead I tried to steer the conversation back to her current bedroom bliss and try to get her to resume thinking the disgusting thoughts that delighted her so much.
Me: Who cares what he's doing now?! Aren't you insanely happy with your fun new lovers???
Mary: NO! THEY STINK! HE'S FAT. I want my sexy Whisky-Boo Whiskers back!!! Give him back, Valley! Puh-leeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeease.
Me: I don't "have" him. I'm just seeing him. If he hurt you this much, why don't you try to sit down and have a real conversation with him? It might be good for both of you to clear the air.
Mary: He blocked me on everythi-iiiiiii-iiiii-iiiiiing. Waaaaaaaaaah!
Me: Well, I guess that's your answer. You probably overwhelmed him. He seems like a bit of a softy. Personally, I need a softy right now. But I think you need a manly man.
Mary rose. She gave me an icy stare. And then she cooed in an unnervingly sweet tone. "I love you, Valley-Boo. I know you didn't mean to break my heart."
Me: Thank you, Mary. Really, I wouldn't have even considered his initial invitation if you hadn't been calling him "Satan," and telling us all that you hated him, and dating all these new guys. I didn't do it to spite you, I swear. It just happened.
Mary (still creepily, icily sweet): Yes. We're so alike, you and I. It's perfectly understandable that the same guy would go for both of us. But you owe me. You owe me big.
Me: I'm gonna disagree with that. If you think I slighted you, just tell me to fuck off. If you really do understand that these things happen, then you'll accept that there was no malice on anyone's part.
Mary: Mmmm-hmmmm. We'll see about that.
She jiggled her Jupiters, tossed her hair, and stalked out of the dive bar...

AND THEN SHE BANGED DENNIS.

For years, I watched in dismay as my hairline receded and my confidence followed suit. Male pattern baldness was something I thought only happened to other people, but there it was, staring back at me every morning in the mirror. I tried all the usual remedies, special shampoos, supplements, finestaride, minoxidil and even a few home remedies, but nothing seemed to make a difference. My self-esteem took a hit, and I began avoiding social situations where my thinning hair would be on full display.
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DermMatch didn't just cover up my baldness; it restored a sense of normalcy to my life. I found myself engaging more in social activities and feeling less self-conscious in professional settings. I even got compliments on my hair, something I hadn't heard in a long time.
Using DermMatch has been a gamechanger for me, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone facing similar struggles with hair loss. It's not just about appearance, it's about regaining confidence and feeling comfortable in your own skin again. If you're looking for a way to cope with male pattern baldness, give DermMatch a try. It might just change your life like it did mine.
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So, I haven't been able to play AWII up until now because I simply don't own a Series X or game on PC (I still game on a base Xbox One and 360). I'm a massive fan of the original game and the American Nightmare digital add-on. I even purchased the novelization of the original game, and downloaded the little live action mini series they made years ago. I stayed away as much as I could from playthroughs on YouTube as I didn't want to be spoiled in terms of story or gameplay. Happily, a friend of mine who owns both a Series X and the game let me take a spin on the game from the beginning. I felt so excited to sit down and play it, especially after hearing the rave (non-spoiler) reviews it got. I played for about three and a half hours before choosing to hang it up.
Now, before I say anything more, I just want to say that these are merely my own feelings, thoughts and opinions on the game. If you loved the game, I genuinely am glad for that. Not all games are going to appeal to everyone, and the decisions and changes Remedy made for the sequel were what they thought was best.
That being said, as much as it pains me to say, after giving it an honest chance, I find it simply is not for me. To be completely honest, I didn't like much of it. There were a few things I did like, such as the Dark Place version of NYC, and especially the updated version of Bright Falls, as the town itself was one thing I adored about the original game. Watery was also a welcome addition. And Coffee World flat out cracked me up. And I also liked the updated look of Wake, and the character of Alex Casey.
But that's about where my likes end. I will try and avoid any spoilers in my own personal criticisms. But, the massive change in tone from the first game was one thing I honestly didn't like. I very much liked the, what I can only describe as Action-Horror style of the original, over the flat out Horror style of AWII (And I say that as a horror writer myself!) Maybe it's simply because I've played the original since I was 20 years old in 2010 to now, but it was just too jarring for me. The best way to phrase it, was that it felt like it was trying to emulate the Resident Evil remakes too much. I also missed the cliche, somewhat cheesy 70s and 80s movie tone the original had as it went more serious. To me, that sort of sucked the fun out of things. The same with the whole concept of the cork board and connecting pictures together. With either Alan or Saga. It just wasn't my personal cup of tea. It slowed things down too much.
I also disliked the change in combat. Many people found the combat of the original to be tedious, but I personally liked the swarming enemy mechanics. I like the rush of panic as you swing Alan around, pointing the flashlight and trying to land your shots. Making the enemies much harder and fewer just felt less engaging and tense to me, and making them venerable bullet sponges also wasn't that enjoyable to me. In addition, I also missed the driving segments that the first game had. Again, I know others didn't enjoy them, but I personally did. Getting behind the wheel and ramming into the Taken was a highlight for me.
One other thing I wasn't a fan of either, was adding a new, playable character. I won't delve into this too much, as way too many people have muddied the waters over this as I've stumbled across YouTube videos with titles about it. Suffice to say, the actress who portrayed Saga Anderson did a great job, but, if it makes sense, in a game called Alan Wake II, his character was the one I wanted to play, not another, even if it was chosen for story direction.
Beyond that, I also missed the licensed soundtrack that the first game had. It made the game, to me at least, feel more connected to the real world, which always helps increase immersion. Plus, a game filled with songs by artists I love such as Roy Orbison, Poe, The Black Angels, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and more just was all that and a bag of chips. Plus, to be honest, I wasn't a big fan of the new rendition of the in game band Old Gods of Asgard. The original songs sounded genuinely like ones a 70s rock band would have put out 50 years ago; the ones I heard didn't. Maybe I didn't get far enough in to the game to find they were supposed to be new songs that the Anderson brothers recorded, but still.
Honestly, I think I would more have preferred the version of Alan Wake II we were supposed to get 11 or 12 years ago, before it was shelved. I watched that footage back again when I returned home tonight, and found myself enjoying watching it more than what I played.
Again, if you did enjoy the game, I am truly happy for you, as it makes all your lives that much more enjoyable. Please don't let my negative reaction detract from your positive one! Enjoy the game!
But, for me?
I think I'll just stick to playing the original and American Nightmare.

I really don’t know what’s going on… I’ve been dissociating since I was in his apartment I think… was this my fault????
Met up with this guy from Grindr he told me he is 37, I’m 18. He told me he was just looking for friends, no sex, which is what I’m looking for, we meet at a park and he starts making me touch his dick and touching him. He said I was looking tense and I wasn’t really talking much (I was pretty nervous, was shaking and pretty tense). He told me he’d get some alcohol and we’d go to his apartment so I could drink and loosen up. At this point I didn’t want to go but we were on the street.. how do you fucking run away?????? I could’ve try to run away but he was waaay bigger than me and if he caught me I was scared he would’ve beat me up… (he kept bragging abt how we was so good at fighting and he would fight anyone, etc… big red flag but I was too scared to go). We got to his apartment which was sketchy afffff, not really an apartment but a room. He got completely undressed and said he was a nudist, so he wasn’t doing anything sexual. And blamed me for implying that him being naked was sexual and I ended up looking like the horny one… kept insisting I took my clothes off but I told him no. He then grabbed me and started rubbing his dick against me. I wasn’t engaging at all but he kept doing it. For so many other reasons he was a weirdo and a creep… but I was in his apartment and it would’ve been difficult to escape, so my plan was to turn him off, talk for a bit and then go.
But he kept insisting and then he physically grabbed me and started being all over me and tickling me… 😓this sounds so pathetic ik but I’m really ticklish and he kept saying he’d stop if I took off my tshirt. Even though he kept tickling I resisted and didn’t take off my shirt. Eventually he got tired and took it off me. He commented on my body and how I was too fat… but I’m so confused… why’d he try to have sex with me if I’m not hot???????
Once I was shirtless he kept grabbing me and pinning me down, I couldn’t move and I was scared that if I tried to get free he would think I was trying to escape and not let me go/get violent… all of this time he kept asking for me to kiss him, and he tried to manipulate me by telling me that if I really wanted us to be friends and for him to be my boyfriend I had to do what he wanted me to do in order to satisfy him… told me that was the point of a relationship, making the other person happy even if you don’t wanna do something… he kept trying to convince me to kiss him… alternating with “oh it’s okay if you don’t wanna kiss me, I would never force you” bullshit…
I was really not into him and he was so fucking ugly (looked way older than 37, at least 50) so I obviously didn’t fall for any of that crap, but it didn’t matter that I didn’t believe it, he forced me into the bed and he’d rub his dick on me, he’d lick my fucking face and my ears, his dick smelled and his body was greasy… it was extremely disgusting, he was ugly, but he thought he was so hot cause he’s muscular, had a big dick, and according to him all guys were after him (he’s a foreigner that’s why). But it literally didn’t matter, he was so disgusting to me… every now and then he’d try to take my pants off or he’d touch my crotch, I was soft af 💀💀💀and he’d ask me why im soft… bruh, i had been physically resisting… i was not into him AT ALL, it was fucking disgusting…. I just wanted to go or find any excuse to go.
When he’d pin me down and force my arms he would bite my nipples… which hurt so fucking much. It progressively got worse and worse to the point that it felt almost like he was torturing me (???), my nipples are extremely bruised rn and they hurt so much. I tried not to move cause he was biting so fucking hard I thought it would ripped them… this was extremely painful. I was telling him to stop but I guess he took it as if I was into bdsm or I was into pain?????? I never told him that? I think he was trying to hurt me. He kept trying and insisting in taking my pants off. He said plenty of times he’d stop if I took of my pants. When I resisted he’d bite me like this or tickle me… every now and then he managed to open my pants and take them down a bit… but I always managed to get them back up.
One of this times he was pulling my pants down he also pulled my underwear and put my dick in his mouth… this was so fucking intrusive and I got so fucking scared. i resisted and told him “yeah we’ll do it just wait” but he was pulling me to him. I quickly put my dick back in (I stayed soft through all of this, mind you). And I got on top of him, like engaging… I found out this to be a good tactic. When he was trying to pin me down or getting to much I would “take control” as he said and make him think I wasn’t trying to set myself free, but trying to “ride” him(?). That was so relieving cause I could be free for a little bit. When he got to pin me down he’d put his dick so close to my face, thank god it didn’t touch my face, I was so grossed out. IT LITERSLLY SMELLED!!!
This was so fucking scary…. My glass with the alcohol he had poured me was in the counter, next to a kitchen knife. I kept leaving my glass there after I drank so I could reach for the knife anytime. Every now and then I would ask him to stop so I could drink, but he didn’t let me and he kept getting all over me.
All of this time (like 2 hours) I refused and managed for him to not kiss me. But at the end, some times I let my guard down he literally kissed me… fuck that was nasty. It happened like 4 times. Obviously they were quick kisses since I would move my head out instantly…
A little after that we went out, I told him I’d let him fuck me at my house… so we were walking outside and a crowd walked past us, it was the perfect opportunity (he was walking in front of me) so I blended with them for a little and then I ran. I hopped on a random bus that was going by and kept going until I was far. Then I went home…
All of this happened like 4-5 hours ago… I told him to fuck off on Grindr and it says he’s 0m away… I’m scared as fuck. When I was at his apartment he kept talking how he would beat up my dad or brother if they ever hurt me or said something bad abt me… if he’s actually around here I think we’re in danger. But has anyone had that glitch???? I immediately turned off my location permits for Grindr after I ran away so could it be that it’s glitched???? But I’ve refreshed so many times and it keep saying 0m. Every single profile does update the location but his keeps saying 0m. Is it possible that he followed me???? Or is it just a glitch?

Hello Everyone! I wanted to say I have appreciated so much of what has been shared here, from personal experiences, remedy recommendations, etc.
I was hoping to ask if anyone knows, is it possible that by me taking too many different types of things to combat stomach pain/nausea be contradicting?
I take daily probiotics, fiber gummies with prebiotics, dicyclomine, activated charcoal, apple cider vinegar gummies, I drink ginger & green tea.
Was thinking about adding on other things like Fennel, Shilajit, peppermint & licorice.
I’m leaving in a few days for a trip to the Philippines and am very very anxious about getting sick, I have some backup meds just in case extreme pain sets in, Ondansetron, Promethazine and Dicyclomine + Pepto Bismol and Imodium for traveler’s diarrhea.
All in all I’m a little nervous about potentially overdoing it by taking all of these things while simultaneously unsure if any of them are canceling each other out (ex: Anti Diarrhea but also Fiber supplements or the Promethazine which can cause constipation) On top of all of this I’m very gassy all the time and would rather not need to constantly run out of the room around my wife’s family while visiting (luckily she is amazing and puts up with it at home lol)
Thank you in advance to anyone who might be able to empathize with me or potentially offer any advice. Appreciate this community so so much.

My husband and I have been married for nearly 8 years and are parents of soon to be 3 young children (I’m due with our last kiddo next month). We are in our early 30s but have known each other since our early teens. We both have established, full time careers, are well educated, etc. We are in many ways what I would say is the suburban modern family. Life is hectic but we also have been very fortunate due to a combination of luck and consistent hard work and good decision making.
My husband’s family is quite the opposite. His dad has worked construction/carpentry since his early teens and been the breadwinner of the family, but has, for the most part, struggled to make ends meet. He is all in all a very charming, kindhearted guy though, and despite our vastly different lifestyles, I genuinely like him.
My MIL…she’s something else. While we have a mostly cordial relationship, she is truly one of the most self-absorbed people I’ve ever met. And not in a malicious manner— she just genuinely is narcissistic and thinks she knows best. Mostly this an annoying nuisance to occasionally deal with. She has said and done some unsavory things in the past that have resulted in short NC periods.
But this mentality ramped up to an 11 on a scale of 1-10 back in late February/early March.
My husband and I were going through an extremely stressful period in our marriage due to a number of issues. I was— and still am— pregnant with our third, we have a 5 and 2 year old, we were both working full time, and my husband’s job kept requiring him to travel out of state for a couple weeks at a time. Running a household as essentially a single mother while working full time was very stressful in itself, but then my grandmother had a stroke while he was out of state. By the time he got back, it was clear she wasn’t going to recover. She died with 48 hours of his return— which had given me just enough time to travel to visit her.
Almost simultaneously, my MIL was diagnosed with CLL. MIL has dealt with recurrent minor illnesses for some time (sinus and ear infections, the flu, etc.), so the cancer diagnosis wasn’t particularly surprising to me. But as most would do, we all spent some time reading up on this particular form of cancer, the general prognosis and treatment, etc.
My own parents happen to have both had cancer. My dad is a stage 2 prostate cancer survivor, having undergone treatment about 15 years ago. My mom unfortunately was not so lucky with her diagnosis— anaplastic carcinoma of the thyroid— and from diagnosis to death was less than ten months. It’s been about a decade now. Needless to say, I feel I am fairly well versed in the oncology world for an average person and able to provide some insight on the experience.
CLL, as I understand, and from what I’ve now heard from her original oncologist, is generally not a very aggressive cancer. I have heard some people refer to it as more like autoimmune disorder. It often requires little treatment and more “watchful waiting” of symptoms. My MIL was told by the oncologist that this is exactly what their plan was, that her cancer was not aggressive or requiring treatment, and that she could essentially live a normal life with occasional blood draws for monitoring purposes.
From the moment she was diagnosed though, it has been all about her. Her cancer diagnosis overshadowed my grandma’s actual death. My husband had to be gone for a day and a half to attend her first appointment, even if I was balancing life as a single working mom who was grieving at the moment. Before her first consultation, everyone was sure she was dying, even though it didn’t take an expert to look over her bloodwork and realize that she was likely in a very low stage of this non-aggressive cancer.
When she attended her consultation, her, FIL, SIL, and my husband had to go to support and were relieved to hear the good news. MIL was mortally offended that the oncologist poo-pooed her ridiculous made up, self-enforced diet that had already caused her to lose 10lbs. She’s not a big boned lady, so that was not weight she needed or should be losing. MIL is convinced that homeopathic and naturopathic remedies are the way to go, that “big pharma” is out to get us and make a buck off of our treatment, etc. She quite literally took ivermectin for covid previously, folks. So the fact that an oncologist would tell her that her diet was downright silly pissed her off and she quickly tried to find others more aligned with her viewpoints.
Life resumed more normally for a couple of weeks, but her random “cures” added to her diet and lifestyle have gotten increasingly bizarre and frankly inconvenient for her entire family.
This past weekend, we visited them, and MIL was insistent that she was dying and the next oncologist would recommend chemo for treatment. I fail to see why one oncologist would be so nonchalant about treatment and another would propose aggressive treatment, but I digress. She brought up Dr. Oz, a holistic massage therapist that uses oils and massage to cure cancer, and worst of all, a new item she’s added to her diet— roasted apricot pits. Now if you’re like me, you might be wondering what would possess someone to eat an apricot pit— after all, don’t they have cyanide in them? Precisely. My MIL is intentionally ingesting apricot pits because “cyanide kills cancer.”
As my husband eloquently put it, “No, cyanide kills *everything.”
Today my husband received a phone call asking if he’d be willing to petsit for them this weekend. We have a follow up ultrasound for a small abnormality detected in our baby on Friday, but MIL wants him to drive to their home two hours away and spend the night so he can watch their cat and SIL’s dog. Meanwhile MIL, FIL, and SIL will drive eight hours (and eight hours back) to visit this massage therapist/oil salesman to “cure her cancer.” Mind you, they are using SIL’s car because they have no other vehicle that works well enough to drive that far, they are constantly tight on money, and again, her oncologist has stated she does not need treatment.
I am at a loss. My husband, FIL, and SIL are all frustrated and have come around to the idea that maybe she is being a little over the top finally, but no one is putting their foot down to stop her. SIL is going to drive them instead of just saying no and not letting them take her car. FIL repeatedly drives to the store to pick up whatever weird ass product she wants to try next. And my husband despite having way too much to deal with at home, keeps dropping everything to tend to her.
It is mind boggling obnoxious and honestly in some ways offensive given my family history with cancer. My mom’s diagnosis was death sentence from the get go and she faced it with bravery and tenacity and selflessness. My MIL has a minor health scare and everyone is expected to drop everything to help her.
I am glad my husband is finally seeing reason and logic— but what now? I have told him I strongly believe he needs to speak up and encourage her to follow legitimate medical advice— both for her own good but also to bring himself peace of mind in the long run— but it’s like this woman WANTS to die.
I could go on for hours, but really I’m just wondering how the heck to toe this delicate line of supporting my spouse while prioritizing my family.

Today was the day. I was called yesterday by the surgical scheduler and was told to show up st 630.
My son drove me home around 8 40. I have a clear eye shield taped to my forehead that I have to loosen every 2 hours to instill moxifloxacin. Followup at 11 tomorrow.
I've finally been up and around the house when I was stopped in my tracks. I had seen my beige refrigerator with the surgical eye first. It's brilliance was shocking. No joke, this is no subtle difference. The walls are 2 different colors.
I only had a clear lens implant because I can't afford the copay except for the $150 I paid today. I have keratoconus which is now stable but I will be happy just to be able to see with glasses. My arthritic hands aren't going to mess with scleral lenses.
My outcome today was really positive. Taking my mature brown cataract out allowed light back into my life.