Business invitation examples
business
2007.09.17 20:41 business
/business brings you the best of your business section. From tips for running a business, to pitfalls to avoid, /business teaches you the smart moves and helps you dodge the foolish.
2017.01.20 20:07 Online Business Model Examples
This subreddit is for users to help each other out in succeeding by choosing the right business models. We will be sharing business model posts, online business models, and internet business model examples of successful websites that are making money.
2015.07.19 21:36 Jeux_d_Oh We Want Plates
**We Want Plates** crusades against serving food on bits of wood and roof tiles, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars.
2024.05.14 05:57 En_beee AITAH for backing out a wedding because my ex wife is going
So the couple who are getting married, I met through my ex wife and she’s known them for a long time. Mind you we do have a child together so that’s why she’s even relevant still, but my problem is they know she’s caused a lot of unnecessary problems between my fiancé and I. Such as lying, stalking us, harassing us , and just trying to be in our business 24/7 and so on. I started thinking to myself maybe these so called “friends” have been lying to me this whole time. My ex has called me multiple times with the whole he say she say and would name drop the couple that are getting married. And every time I confront them they say they don’t talk to her nor even hang out with her because she’s all drama. But now I’m starting to believe that was all BS. Idk if I’m just over thinking it but this just doesn’t sit well with me. Like if you know she’s drama and doesn’t get along with us why invite her? Also, I’m supposed to be one of the groomsmen. and their bachelobachlorette is coming up as well and we’re all supposed to have the guys stay in one house and the girls in another. I do not feel comfortable around her whatsoever nor having my fiance around her. AITAH for bailing?
submitted by En_beee to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 05:57 tab_rick Top 10 Bathtub Manufacturers Worldwide in 2023
 | The bathtub sector is a dynamic industry dedicated to meeting the advanced needs of clientele who prioritize luxury and tranquility in their bath experiences. Renowned bathtub producers, including bathtub companies, curate bespoke designs to cater to diverse preferences and necessities. Driven by the growing appetite for upscale bathtubs and comprehensive bathroom amenities, a multitude of manufacturers and enterprises have surfaced. These firms specialize in crafting bathtubs from an array of materials, ranging from solid surfaces and cast iron to innovative composites and natural stone. Together, global bathtub entities, such as bathtub companies, represent a continuously advancing industry, consistently innovating and showcasing a vast assortment of elite bathroom solutions. This post lists 10 top bathtub manufacturers in the world. submitted by tab_rick to KKRsolidsurface [link] [comments] Kingkonreehttps://preview.redd.it/ieqfag6tdb0d1.png?width=307&format=png&auto=webp&s=598012857204001b347ed40eefb5b157cc37d3b8 Company Location: Shenzhen, China Year of Establishment: 2000 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered:
Founded in 2000, KKR initially specialized in the production of material panels. With time, we evolved and strategically positioned ourselves as industry leaders in the solid surface sector. Our products rigorously comply with ISO9001:2015, CE, CUPC, and SGS standards, underscoring our unwavering commitment to international quality benchmarks. Our expansive 15,000 m² manufacturing facility boasts the capacity to produce over 15,000 items per month. Globally, our presence extends across 100 countries, having successfully executed over 1,000 projects. Due to our stringent quality and hygiene standards, premier entities in the hotel industry regard us as their reliable partner. Kingkonree stands as a paramount figure in the industry, acclaimed for its unparalleled excellence in crafting solid surface bathtubs. Each bathtub is meticulously fashioned from elite acrylic solid surface materials, which guarantees remarkable longevity, coupled with impressive resistance to staining, abrasion, and discoloration. A distinctive hallmark of Kingkonree’s solid surface bathtubs is their versatile nature and the breadth of personalization they offer. Patrons are presented with a comprehensive spectrum of colors, patterns, and finishes, empowering them to curate a tailored bathroom environment. In addition, Kingkonree demonstrates proficiency in catering to specific size requisites, guaranteeing impeccable alignment with assorted bathroom layouts. Beyond its commitment to quality, Kingkonree signifies a beacon of environmental stewardship. The inherent non-toxic, non-porous, and sustainable attributes of their bathtubs establish them as a green alternative in the market. In tandem with this ethos, Kingkonree maintains stringent quality assurance protocols, ensuring that every bathtub seamlessly converges with the pinnacle of industry benchmarks. KohlerCompany Location: Wisconsin, USAYear of Establishment: 1873 Types of Business: Design and manufacturing Product Offered: Kohler offers a diverse selection of bath products designed to cater to various preferences and style. Their product line includes alcove bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, freestanding bathtubs, corner bathtubs, jetted/whirlpool bathtubs, and showebathtub combinations. Kohler’s bathtubs are known for their exceptional craftsmanship, durability, and elegant design. About Company Background and Advantages: Founded in 1873 as the Sheboygan Union Iron and Steel Foundry, Kohler has evolved to become a paramount entity in the home appliance sector. Marking its significant milestones, such as the ingenious transformation of a cast-iron horse trough into a high-end enameled bathtub, Kohler proudly showcases its rich 150-year lineage. Today, the company is renowned for its pioneering designs and superior product offerings. Central to Kohler’s acclaim is its bathtub series, emblematic of the company’s unwavering commitment to excellence and resilience. Each bathtub is meticulously crafted from premier materials, undergoing rigorous quality assurance processes to ensure sustained performance. Particularly, Kohler’s acrylic bathtubs are engineered to ward off scratches, discoloration, and stains, maintaining their immaculate appearance and ease of maintenance. This relentless pursuit of quality positions Kohler bathtubs as a prime choice for both residential and commercial settings. In a bid to redefine bathing experiences, Kohler seamlessly integrates cutting-edge amenities into its products. Their jetted bathtubs epitomize relaxation, with strategically aligned jets offering a therapeutic sensation, making every soak a serene escapade. Complemented with innovative water treatment solutions, Kohler promises an invigorating bath experience. From an aesthetic standpoint, Kohler presents an expansive spectrum, encompassing sleek freestanding models to timeless inset varieties. Their design acumen guarantees that each bathtub, inclusive of the freestanding variants, merges optimal functionality with aesthetic finesse, bestowing an air of sophistication upon any bathroom setting. Choosing Kohler transcends a mere transaction; it signifies an allegiance to a refined bathing haven. TOTOCompany Location: Tokyo, JapanYear of Establishment: 1917 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: TOTO, a leading manufacturer of bathroom fixtures, offers a diverse range of bathtubs designed to enhance bathing experiences. Their product line includes:
Founded in 1917, TOTO has consistently set the gold standard in the bathroom fixtures domain. Recognized on a global scale, TOTO delivers premier products that define industry standards. Their overarching mission is to transform daily routines with cutting-edge bathroom solutions, encompassing features such as heating to enhance comfort during chilly spells. TOTO is unwavering in its dedication to technological advancement. The firm has introduced pioneering innovations including the Tornado Flush for unparalleled waste management, the CEFIONTECT coating for sustaining hygienic surfaces, and the sophisticated Washlet bidet system, emphasizing both hygiene and user-friendliness. Central to TOTO’s ethos is environmental stewardship. Their product developments emphasize water conservation without compromising on performance. This commitment to sustainable practices has earned them a plethora of certifications and recognitions. The myriad of accolades and distinctions bestowed upon TOTO affirm their eminent position in the industry. As market trailblazers, they consistently adapt and innovate to meet the evolving needs of their clientele. American StandardCompany Location: Piscataway, New Jersey, USAYear of Establishment: 1872 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: American Standard specializes in a diverse range of bathtubs, catering to various design preferences and requirements. Their product line includes alcove bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, freestanding bathtubs, and walk-in bathtubs. With a commitment to innovation, American Standard offers advanced features such as whirlpool systems, hydrotherapy options, and ergonomic designs. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1872, American Standard stands distinguished in its provision of exceptional quality bathroom fixtures, with a marked speciality in bathtubs. The organization harbors a steadfast dedication to the fusion of innovation and practicality in its designs, aiming to profoundly elevate the user’s bathing experience. A pivotal attribute of American Standard’s bathtubs is the meticulous integration of water-conservation technologies. Through the incorporation of cutting-edge systems, such as EcoSilent, the company ardently pursues the optimization of water utilization, aligning environmental sustainability with substantive economic advantages. In terms of durability, American Standard meticulously crafts bathtubs employing premium materials, encompassing acrylic and cast iron, thereby ensuring an enduring robustness and formidable resilience to the rigors of daily use. The exemplary artifacts they produce seamlessly align with elevated industry benchmarks, manifesting the company’s unwavering commitment to exhaustive testing processes and an unparalleled quality assurance ethos. The consumer-centric approach of American Standard shines prominently, as evidenced by their offering of a versatile array of models imbued with ergonomic considerations and integrated armrests. Their sophisticated portfolio encompasses a breathtaking diversity, featuring luxurious deep-soak bathtubs that invoke a sublime, spa-like ambiance, as well as thoughtfully designed walk-in variants, thus catering proficiently to a comprehensive array of preferences and functional necessities. RocaCompany Location: Barcelona, SpainYear of Establishment: 1917 Types of Business: Design and production Product Offered: Roca offers a wide range of bathtubs designed to cater to diverse preferences and needs. Their product line includes freestanding bathtubs, corner bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, and whirlpool bathtubs. With a focus on innovation, quality, and style, Roca’s bathtubs are crafted to provide a luxurious and rejuvenating bathing experience. About Company Background and Advantages: Founded in 1917 in Barcelona, Roca has evolved into a globally acclaimed leader in superior bathroom solutions. Dedicated to innovation, the company adeptly balances aesthetic allure with functional design and enduring resilience. At its core, Roca’s mission is to elevate the bathroom experience, ensuring unparalleled comfort for its clientele. Roca’s bathtubs stand out for their avant-garde features. Particularly, their whirlpool tubs are equipped with advanced hydrotherapy functionalities, providing therapeutic massages and facilitating a luxurious spa ambiance within the seclusion of one’s residence. Employing only the finest materials and harnessing cutting-edge manufacturing techniques, Roca guarantees precision in every bathtub’s production, ensuring its longevity. This unwavering commitment to quality has solidified Roca’s reputation as a trusted global provider of bathroom solutions. Furthermore, Roca’s bathtubs are epitomes of elegance. Their range encompasses both contemporary and classic designs, catering to diverse aesthetic preferences. Beyond mere functionality, Roca bathtubs serve as sophisticated focal points, imbuing bathrooms with an essence of refinement. WoodbridgeCompany Location: Woodbridge, New Jersey, USAYear of Establishment: 2005 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: Woodbridge specializes in a wide range of luxurious and innovative bathtubs. Their product line includes freestanding bathtubs, alcove bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, and whirlpool bathtubs. Each bathtub is designed with premium materials and advanced technologies to provide a sophisticated and indulgent bathing experience. About Company Background and Advantages: Founded in 2005, Woodbridge has swiftly cemented its reputation as a premier bathtub manufacturer, renowned for its unparalleled quality, sophisticated aesthetics, and cutting-edge designs. The brand’s unwavering commitment to excellence is underscored by the consistently favorable reviews from its clientele and its extensive product range. Constructed using premium materials such as acrylic and fiberglass, Woodbridge bathtubs promise enduring resilience. Leveraging state-of-the-art manufacturing techniques, the bathtubs are furnished with a robust finish that is adept at warding off stains, scratches, and fading, ensuring the product’s immaculate appearance is sustained over the years. A hallmark of Woodbridge’s offerings is the harmonious blend of avant-garde design with user-centric comfort. Numerous models are equipped with hydrotherapy features, including whirlpool jets and air massage systems, providing an oasis of therapeutic relaxation. Furthermore, their bathtubs are meticulously crafted, boasting capacious interiors that amplify the bathing experience. Attuned to the evolving needs of their clientele, Woodbridge designs bathtubs that seamlessly complement a myriad of bathroom decors. Their steadfast dedication to premium customer service ensures reliable product support and post-purchase assistance. KaldeweiCompany Location: Ahlen, GermanyYear of Establishment: 1918 Types of Business: Manufacturing Products Offered: Kaldewei specializes in the production of high-quality bathroom solutions, with a focus on luxury steel enamel bathtubs and shower surfaces. They offer a wide range of product options including freestanding bathtubs, built-in bathtubs, shower trays, and whirlpool systems. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1918 and headquartered in Ahlen, Germany, Kaldewei stands as a distinguished pioneer in the luxury bathroom industry. Over the years, the company has ascended to the zenith of the international market, distinguishing itself as a purveyor of premium bathroom essentials and state-of-the-art water systems. At the heart of Kaldewei’s ethos is the fusion of aesthetic excellence, pioneering technology, and sustainable practices, culminating in products that set industry benchmarks. A salient attribute of Kaldewei’s offerings is their incorporation of steel enamel. This superior material guarantees not only the longevity and resilience of their bathtubs and showers but also ensures effortless maintenance, encapsulating the essence of a lavish yet lasting bath experience. Their manufacturing paradigm marries avant-garde methodologies with meticulous craftsmanship, all underpinned by rigorous quality oversight. Beyond their product excellence, Kaldewei’s commitment to the environment is unwavering. They champion eco-conscious manufacturing paradigms, judicious utilization of natural resources, enhanced energy efficiency, and the production of recyclable goods. This unwavering commitment to environmental stewardship has garnered them commendations and certifications in recognition of their sustainable initiatives. With an expansive portfolio that caters to diverse aesthetic preferences, Kaldewei meticulously curates bathroom solutions that resonate with individual tastes and design inclinations. They are unrivaled in delivering opulent bathing experiences that seamlessly blend sophistication, comfort, and functionality. DuravitCompany Location: Hornberg, GermanyYear of Establishment: 1817 Types of Business: Manufacturing and design Products Offered: Duravit specializes in a wide range of bathroom fixtures and solutions, offering innovative designs, exceptional quality, and functionality. Their product portfolio includes toilets, basins, bathtubs, showers, furniture, accessories, and wellness systems. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1817 in Hornberg, Germany, Duravit stands at the forefront of contemporary bathroom solutions. As a globally acclaimed entity, their unwavering commitment to superior quality and pioneering designs sets them apart in the industry. Each bathtub from Duravit exemplifies unparalleled craftsmanship and meticulous attention to detail, manifesting their ethos of excellence. Constructed using premium materials, these bathtubs guarantee robustness and longevity. Duravit is celebrated for its sophisticated designs which seamlessly blend aesthetics with practicality, transforming bathroom ambiances and providing unparalleled comfort. In its operations, Duravit ardently champions sustainability, placing emphasis on resource conservation, ethical production processes, and the creation of enduring products. Their dedication to environmental stewardship has garnered them numerous recognitions. With an expansive portfolio of bathroom products, Duravit caters to a wide spectrum of preferences and requirements. Whether one desires understated elegance or opulent grandeur, Duravit persistently ensures impeccable quality and utmost customer satisfaction. DeltaCompany Location: Indianapolis, Indiana, USAYear of Establishment: 1954 Types of Business: Design and manufacturing Products Offered: Delta, along with its major flagship brands Peerless, Brizzo, and First Wave, offers a wide range of bathtubs to meet both kitchen and bathroom needs. Their product line includes freestanding and drop-in bathtubs, all available in acrylic. These bathtubs come in multiple finishes such as nickel, brass, chrome, and matte, allowing customers to customize their bathing spaces. Product Offered: Delta, along with its flagship brands Peerless, Brizzo, and First Wave, specializes in manufacturing a wide range of faucets and fixtures for both kitchens and bathrooms. They offer different styles to suit various design preferences and requirements. Additionally, Delta provides freestanding and drop-in bathtubs in acrylic with multiple finish options such as nickel, brass, chrome, and matte. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1958, Delta is renowned for its unparalleled quality in faucets, fixtures, and bathing solutions. The design versatility and enduring resilience of their bathtubs are particularly commendable. As of 2023, Delta’s bathtubs are the preferred choice for discerning clientele. Engineered with meticulous precision, these bathtubs epitomize structural integrity and superior user satisfaction. The utilization of high-grade acrylic not only imparts a sophisticated appearance but also efficiently retains heat and necessitates minimal upkeep. This robust material is exceptionally resistant to discoloration, fading, and cracking, ensuring a product that retains its elegance over time. Collaborating with esteemed brands such as Peerless, Brizzo, and First Wave, Delta presents an expansive array of designs. Whether the preference is for a freestanding bathtub or one that harmonizes with its surroundings, Delta caters to a spectrum of design inclinations. An extensive range of finishes, spanning from nickel to matte, empowers consumers to customize their bathroom ambiance. Delta’s distinguishing trait is its unwavering commitment to innovation and customer satisfaction. Their bathtubs are designed with a keen emphasis on comfort, showcasing ergonomic contours and consistent water flow, facilitating a tranquil bathing experience. Bolstered by an extensive retail framework and a seamless online interface, the process of selecting and acquiring a Delta bathtub is both convenient and efficient. MansfieldCompany Location: Perrysville, Ohio, USAYear of Establishment: 1929 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: Mansfield Plumbing Products (MPP) offers a comprehensive range of plumbing fixtures and fittings, including an extensive lineup of bathtubs. Their current line of bathtubs includes various types and styles, catering to the diverse preferences of their customers. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1929, Mansfield Plumbing Products stands as a distinguished purveyor of premier plumbing fixtures, including shower bases. With a strategic presence across the United States, Puerto Rico, and Canada, and fortified by an expansive network of over 4,000 distributors, Mansfield ensures the consistent availability of its superior products to a broad clientele. Mansfield’s bathtub collection exemplifies a sophisticated convergence of functionality and visual elegance. Each bathtub is a manifestation of impeccable craftsmanship, constructed with resilient materials guaranteeing enduring efficacy. The assortment offers an abundant spectrum of designs, accommodating a wide range of aesthetic preferences and interior bathroom styles. Continually dedicated to innovation and superior quality, Mansfield diligently refines its product range, presenting an all-encompassing array of bathtubs fashioned to address the varied demands and inclinations of its clientele. Every product is meticulously designed, seamlessly integrating quality, style, and practicality. Central to Mansfield’s ethos is an unrelenting commitment to client satisfaction. Beyond delivering exceptional products, the company emphasizes exemplary customer support and post-purchase services. This steadfast dedication to service excellence, product quality, and innovative design solidifies Mansfield’s esteemed standing in the plumbing industry. How to Choose Bathtub Manufacturers?When selecting bathtub manufacturers, it’s essential to approach the decision-making process with a comprehensive perspective. Here are some refined considerations to guide your selection:
Why KKR?
ConclusionIn conclusion, the industry dedicated to the production of bathtubs is undergoing significant growth, primarily catering to enterprises within the furniture manufacturing sphere as well as various other commercial entities. Our portfolio encompasses an extensive variety of bathtubs, each distinguished by its unique design, composition of materials, and functional attributes. Esteemed manufacturers, including Kingkonree, contribute to our collection through offerings of bespoke customization options. For more comprehensive information, we invite you to reach out to us via email or engage in a direct consultation with our expert team. |
2024.05.14 05:50 J2SavesTheDay AITA for suing my former employer for unpaid overtime wages for me and 20 other former employees resulting in friends/co workers hating me/uninviting me from a wedding?
I was fired from my sales position at the beginning of March due to missing some time going through some mental health issues. I made peace with the company’s decision because I spent the last 18 months of a 5 year stint wishing I was closer to home so this was a welcomed “reset”.
The ownecompany has a history of just flat out screwing over employees as far how they’re treated, not paying their commissions after they leave, you name it, it probably happened. Suffice to say, I was skeptical that I would be paid out all of my commissions since I was no longer there to really have a say.
In an attempt to feel out the waters this with the owner, I reach out. I get a text back saying that I’d get paid any commissions owed after a number of deductions. Which was fair. I did have a few claims that I would/should pay my share of. What ticked me off on that list was a trip I won for me and a plus one Over $4,000 in value. For context I was expecting a final commission check roughly around $8k not factoring in the trip I suddenly was on the hook for. I did not attend the trip due to the health issues I mentioned at the beginning but my plus one DID go. A friend who happened to work there. Again, this was a trip I earned and nowhere was there any fine print that this could happen if someone didn’t go on the trip.
I decided that he wasn’t going to take advantage of me like he had done to so many others there and I filed a class action lawsuit for unpaid overtime wages so that anyone else who had been unfairly treated would finally have a voice and stand up for themselves. It’s going to cost a lot more than if he had just paid me my commissions owed sans the trip deduction. This isn’t a cash grab as I had done well for myself the last 3 years but the company treating me as if I wasn’t one of their top revenue earners the last three years, felt wrong.
This has not gone over well with the coworkers who I thought as of friends and one high ranking official there even uninvited from his wedding via text. “Just a heads up, don’t worry about watching the mail for a wedding invite. Seats are filled.” Realizing why I received the text, I call the bride and find out she’s blocked me on social media to apologize that my legal battle is having an impact outside of the workplace and in our personal lives but I never got the chance to before being cut off/out.
I can’t blame my friends/former colleagues for how they’re taking it because I’m not sure how my legal action is being portrayed to them. They might be fearful of their job security as I pursue this matter.
AITA?
TLDR: Boss with shady business practices withheld my commissions to recoup a business expense/trip I earned for two. I filed a lawsuit to stand up for myself and others wronged by the company and now I’m hated by friends at the company / uninvited from a wedding.
submitted by J2SavesTheDay to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
The ownecompany has a history of just flat out screwing over employees as far how they’re treated, not paying their commissions after they leave, you name it, it probably happened. Suffice to say, I was skeptical that I would be paid out all of my commissions since I was no longer there to really have a say.
In an attempt to feel out the waters this with the owner, I reach out. I get a text back saying that I’d get paid any commissions owed after a number of deductions. Which was fair. I did have a few claims that I would/should pay my share of. What ticked me off on that list was a trip I won for me and a plus one Over $4,000 in value. For context I was expecting a final commission check roughly around $8k not factoring in the trip I suddenly was on the hook for. I did not attend the trip due to the health issues I mentioned at the beginning but my plus one DID go. A friend who happened to work there. Again, this was a trip I earned and nowhere was there any fine print that this could happen if someone didn’t go on the trip.
I decided that he wasn’t going to take advantage of me like he had done to so many others there and I filed a class action lawsuit for unpaid overtime wages so that anyone else who had been unfairly treated would finally have a voice and stand up for themselves. It’s going to cost a lot more than if he had just paid me my commissions owed sans the trip deduction. This isn’t a cash grab as I had done well for myself the last 3 years but the company treating me as if I wasn’t one of their top revenue earners the last three years, felt wrong.
This has not gone over well with the coworkers who I thought as of friends and one high ranking official there even uninvited from his wedding via text. “Just a heads up, don’t worry about watching the mail for a wedding invite. Seats are filled.” Realizing why I received the text, I call the bride and find out she’s blocked me on social media to apologize that my legal battle is having an impact outside of the workplace and in our personal lives but I never got the chance to before being cut off/out.
I can’t blame my friends/former colleagues for how they’re taking it because I’m not sure how my legal action is being portrayed to them. They might be fearful of their job security as I pursue this matter.
AITA?
TLDR: Boss with shady business practices withheld my commissions to recoup a business expense/trip I earned for two. I filed a lawsuit to stand up for myself and others wronged by the company and now I’m hated by friends at the company / uninvited from a wedding.
2024.05.14 05:45 XaiverVanderwell Anyone else just not invite their parents to anything?
I never invite my own parents to anything unless it’s mandatory, for example, tomorrow at school I’m having an honor roll assembly with the older kids, I hadn’t told my dad about it mainly because I never wanted him to come. I’d be okay if my mom tagged along, both not really at the same time.
I just never want to deal with anything they have to throw and criticize as soon as we get there, I once got scolded for this after not telling them about a writers competition at school that I attended myself and told my dad he wouldn’t have to come.
My mom thinks I’m avoiding them and has made sure to know of any events at school, in fact, the event I’m attending tomorrow my Dad is tagging along, at first I was excited to go because I wouldn’t have to wear the same uncomfortable school uniform, and I’d get to wear a nice dress.
Now that my Dad is coming along, I’m not so excited anymore, because then that means I’ll be subjected to relentless criticism and insults as soon as we get to the school, like any other place we’ve been to together.
I have to go home and deal with their verbal torture and nonstop resentment towards me, it’s hard to maintain an act and be in a good mood at school after my mom just yelled at me and called me a useless child that morning.
Yet besides all that I still have managed to make friends and know others well, be pretty sociable and get reasonable grades, top of my class also, How could I have possibly achieved all this?
By separating a barrier between myself at home and at school. And I think I’ve done a pretty great job at not letting my home rendezvous affect my school experiences.
But when the same people who that barrier has been made for start to step out of bounds and trespass, that’s when it becomes a problem I don’t like to deal with.
Luckily it’s a closer ride to my sweet 18th, not 16 because then I’d still be treated as a kid, I’m surprised at how the emotional abuse hasn’t bitten me as much, aside from a few insecurities and minor people pleasing with doubts, that included never standing up for myself.
But I’ve learned and grown out of their perils, just like I’ve told myself since 6 years old, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
submitted by XaiverVanderwell to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
I just never want to deal with anything they have to throw and criticize as soon as we get there, I once got scolded for this after not telling them about a writers competition at school that I attended myself and told my dad he wouldn’t have to come.
My mom thinks I’m avoiding them and has made sure to know of any events at school, in fact, the event I’m attending tomorrow my Dad is tagging along, at first I was excited to go because I wouldn’t have to wear the same uncomfortable school uniform, and I’d get to wear a nice dress.
Now that my Dad is coming along, I’m not so excited anymore, because then that means I’ll be subjected to relentless criticism and insults as soon as we get to the school, like any other place we’ve been to together.
I have to go home and deal with their verbal torture and nonstop resentment towards me, it’s hard to maintain an act and be in a good mood at school after my mom just yelled at me and called me a useless child that morning.
Yet besides all that I still have managed to make friends and know others well, be pretty sociable and get reasonable grades, top of my class also, How could I have possibly achieved all this?
By separating a barrier between myself at home and at school. And I think I’ve done a pretty great job at not letting my home rendezvous affect my school experiences.
But when the same people who that barrier has been made for start to step out of bounds and trespass, that’s when it becomes a problem I don’t like to deal with.
Luckily it’s a closer ride to my sweet 18th, not 16 because then I’d still be treated as a kid, I’m surprised at how the emotional abuse hasn’t bitten me as much, aside from a few insecurities and minor people pleasing with doubts, that included never standing up for myself.
But I’ve learned and grown out of their perils, just like I’ve told myself since 6 years old, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
2024.05.14 05:44 AmIJustTheSum What is the appropriate balance between "I upset my partner" and "the way my partner expresses their upsetness upsets me"? (I (32F) and ex-partner (31F))
Let's say you do something that upsets your partner. Maybe you invalidate their feelings by telling them what you think they should do instead of emotionally supporting them. Maybe you touch them in a way they don't like. Maybe you point out a blindspot you see in their perspective when they weren't inviting that feedback. Let's assume you don't do these things with conscious contempt, but you do them nonetheless.
Your partner responds by pulling away from you. Perhaps they get angry. Perhaps they accuse you of arguing with them or of invalidating them. Perhaps they snap at you, or yell at you. Let's assume they don't respond with compassion and love, and the way that they express their dislike of your behavior is emotionally charged and "sharp".
You then react poorly to this response. Cue further disconnect. Cue further fighting.
How do couples navigate this? What is each person's responsibility in cases like these? What is reasonable here? Is it problematic to police the way someone expresses themself after you have upset them or mistreated them?
Some more specifics and personal input:
For me, each time I (32F) upset my ex-partner (31F) and they expressed anger or frustration in response, I had a hard time receiving that input with a level-head. I don't know exactly why: perhaps triggers from my past, perhaps being protective of myself and not wanting to admit my wrongs, perhaps simply having no conflict resolution skills or experience navigating conflict healthily.
After the fact, I could often see the error of my ways and that what my parter was expressing to me was valid. I had such a hard time not reacting poorly to the way in which they were expressing themself, however. We would often end up in massive fights over little things.
It's hard for me to see how "in the wrong" I was for reacting how I did, versus what responsibility they had to express their upsetness in a way that would be better received by me. I kept making the same mistakes over and over, feeling constantly attacked, wanting to change, berating myself for not being better, and falling deeper and deeper into a shame hole.
I've seen something similar in other relationships as well. For example, a friend was recently called out for some shifty behavior. She hired a videographer who used a very similar style to a videographer she had used in the past, and the former videographer took issue with the fact that the new videographer seemed to be lifting her editing style. The way the videographer spoke to my friend (not particularly warmly) led my friend to feel defensive, which made it difficult for her to see the validity of the whole thing.
It has me wondering how often this type of thing happens and how others see it...
submitted by AmIJustTheSum to Codependency [link] [comments]
Your partner responds by pulling away from you. Perhaps they get angry. Perhaps they accuse you of arguing with them or of invalidating them. Perhaps they snap at you, or yell at you. Let's assume they don't respond with compassion and love, and the way that they express their dislike of your behavior is emotionally charged and "sharp".
You then react poorly to this response. Cue further disconnect. Cue further fighting.
How do couples navigate this? What is each person's responsibility in cases like these? What is reasonable here? Is it problematic to police the way someone expresses themself after you have upset them or mistreated them?
Some more specifics and personal input:
For me, each time I (32F) upset my ex-partner (31F) and they expressed anger or frustration in response, I had a hard time receiving that input with a level-head. I don't know exactly why: perhaps triggers from my past, perhaps being protective of myself and not wanting to admit my wrongs, perhaps simply having no conflict resolution skills or experience navigating conflict healthily.
After the fact, I could often see the error of my ways and that what my parter was expressing to me was valid. I had such a hard time not reacting poorly to the way in which they were expressing themself, however. We would often end up in massive fights over little things.
It's hard for me to see how "in the wrong" I was for reacting how I did, versus what responsibility they had to express their upsetness in a way that would be better received by me. I kept making the same mistakes over and over, feeling constantly attacked, wanting to change, berating myself for not being better, and falling deeper and deeper into a shame hole.
I've seen something similar in other relationships as well. For example, a friend was recently called out for some shifty behavior. She hired a videographer who used a very similar style to a videographer she had used in the past, and the former videographer took issue with the fact that the new videographer seemed to be lifting her editing style. The way the videographer spoke to my friend (not particularly warmly) led my friend to feel defensive, which made it difficult for her to see the validity of the whole thing.
It has me wondering how often this type of thing happens and how others see it...
2024.05.14 05:28 Background-Elk2887 Should I continue to see this guy?
Please give me some advice on this! His ex, him and me!
Background information: I (25 Male gay) am seeing a guy (29 Male gay) who still contacts his ex often even if I am not comfortable with. I started to see this guy a few months ago and we had good communication and often hangout and things go well. However, things started to get weird. There was one time he invited friends including me to his house for crawfish boil and he told me his ex will also be there. They have broke up for 6 months and he told me he would never go back to date his ex. I was okay with going there even if his ex is there. However, he wouldn’t want to admit we are seeing other or knowing each other from a dating app, so when his friend asked us how we met. He wanted me to say we know each other through a mutual friend and to avoid awkwardness, I agreed with that. Plus we just started to see each other at that time, but there was always something in the back of my head that I don’t want to lie about it and I don’t feel comfortable that he doesn’t want introduce me as we seeing each other. After that party, we got much closer and had more conversation and went to my friend wedding together (at the wedding I wanted to say hi to my ex, but he said i don’t feel comfortable if you do that, so I cared about his feelings and didn’t say hi to my ex) and things were going well.
One day, I was hanging out at his house and his ex drove by and saw my car there and started to text him and blocked him because his ex still has feelings about him. He told me “you should’ve parked your car in my garage” and he became panic and nervous and didn’t know what to do and try to explain he is just hanging out with a friend. His ex threatened him to come over to his place and to check who is he hanging out with. That made me really uncomfortable so I just left because I don’t want any drama before we date and I also think he didn’t handle this situation with his ex well. at that day I also find out they hang out every Wednesday night at his place. They also had sex after they broke up. But anyways, he came over to my place that night we had a conversation and he talked to his ex the second day and the situation get better. He promised me this will never happen again.
Then there was one weekend where we were supposed to go carting with some friends and include his ex and me. He told me if I don’t feel comfortable about his ex coming he would tell his ex not coming. So I told him I don’t think that’s a good idea for us to co-exist together because I have to hide that we are just friends. He also never told his friends that we’re seeing each other. And we already lied about how we know each other at the crawfish boil party at the beginning, so that’s why I don’t want his ex to come. He said yes, but he called me two days later that his ex already paid the ticket and that his ex partially planned this event with him so I was OK for him to go even if I don’t feel comfortable with. Btw, I always introduce him to my friends that we are seeing each other.
Recently he has been very busy about his work so we didn’t hang out too much and he told me he couldn’t even call me because his busy schedule which I don’t feel comfortable but I also know that week he has been very busy about his work, but I was also thinking you can’t even call me for like five minutes to share your day with me which also made me uncomfortable and annoyed.
This week his work is not that busy, but he wants to invite his ex and other friends to get together again to another event next weekend. I was very annoyed by him inviting his ex this over and over again, even if I don’t feel comfortable to be with his ex at the same event, and I have communicate with him many times. Last time his ex went there because his ex already paid the ticket but this time I think he shouldn’t invite his ex. He told me that he just want everyone to be happy and not to be left out and he’s also figuring out our situationship. I understand his concern because he is out of country for 10 days and his ex will take care of his dogs so he scared if his ex was left out he might not want to take care of his dogs anymore, but I offered I can do that for him too.
Now I have some concerns that should I continue with this guy or he is not ready to date someone or start a new relationship? I honestly think I made some many compromises and being very understandable, but I feel like he might not be ready to move on which I am fine with just being friends with him cuz I know my worth.
Please give me your honest opinion and advice for me and him.
submitted by Background-Elk2887 to datingadvice [link] [comments]
Background information: I (25 Male gay) am seeing a guy (29 Male gay) who still contacts his ex often even if I am not comfortable with. I started to see this guy a few months ago and we had good communication and often hangout and things go well. However, things started to get weird. There was one time he invited friends including me to his house for crawfish boil and he told me his ex will also be there. They have broke up for 6 months and he told me he would never go back to date his ex. I was okay with going there even if his ex is there. However, he wouldn’t want to admit we are seeing other or knowing each other from a dating app, so when his friend asked us how we met. He wanted me to say we know each other through a mutual friend and to avoid awkwardness, I agreed with that. Plus we just started to see each other at that time, but there was always something in the back of my head that I don’t want to lie about it and I don’t feel comfortable that he doesn’t want introduce me as we seeing each other. After that party, we got much closer and had more conversation and went to my friend wedding together (at the wedding I wanted to say hi to my ex, but he said i don’t feel comfortable if you do that, so I cared about his feelings and didn’t say hi to my ex) and things were going well.
One day, I was hanging out at his house and his ex drove by and saw my car there and started to text him and blocked him because his ex still has feelings about him. He told me “you should’ve parked your car in my garage” and he became panic and nervous and didn’t know what to do and try to explain he is just hanging out with a friend. His ex threatened him to come over to his place and to check who is he hanging out with. That made me really uncomfortable so I just left because I don’t want any drama before we date and I also think he didn’t handle this situation with his ex well. at that day I also find out they hang out every Wednesday night at his place. They also had sex after they broke up. But anyways, he came over to my place that night we had a conversation and he talked to his ex the second day and the situation get better. He promised me this will never happen again.
Then there was one weekend where we were supposed to go carting with some friends and include his ex and me. He told me if I don’t feel comfortable about his ex coming he would tell his ex not coming. So I told him I don’t think that’s a good idea for us to co-exist together because I have to hide that we are just friends. He also never told his friends that we’re seeing each other. And we already lied about how we know each other at the crawfish boil party at the beginning, so that’s why I don’t want his ex to come. He said yes, but he called me two days later that his ex already paid the ticket and that his ex partially planned this event with him so I was OK for him to go even if I don’t feel comfortable with. Btw, I always introduce him to my friends that we are seeing each other.
Recently he has been very busy about his work so we didn’t hang out too much and he told me he couldn’t even call me because his busy schedule which I don’t feel comfortable but I also know that week he has been very busy about his work, but I was also thinking you can’t even call me for like five minutes to share your day with me which also made me uncomfortable and annoyed.
This week his work is not that busy, but he wants to invite his ex and other friends to get together again to another event next weekend. I was very annoyed by him inviting his ex this over and over again, even if I don’t feel comfortable to be with his ex at the same event, and I have communicate with him many times. Last time his ex went there because his ex already paid the ticket but this time I think he shouldn’t invite his ex. He told me that he just want everyone to be happy and not to be left out and he’s also figuring out our situationship. I understand his concern because he is out of country for 10 days and his ex will take care of his dogs so he scared if his ex was left out he might not want to take care of his dogs anymore, but I offered I can do that for him too.
Now I have some concerns that should I continue with this guy or he is not ready to date someone or start a new relationship? I honestly think I made some many compromises and being very understandable, but I feel like he might not be ready to move on which I am fine with just being friends with him cuz I know my worth.
Please give me your honest opinion and advice for me and him.
2024.05.14 05:26 Carpetfreak The Obscure Birds: A Theory Regarding Shakespeare's Macbeth
[I wrote this article about Macbeth for my college's newspaper, and I thought this subreddit might enjoy reading it!]
I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love.
I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth.
This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem–beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar [Note: Students at our college study Macbeth during their Sophomore year.]: why are there so many birds in Macbeth?
KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II
LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V
BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI
LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II
LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II
PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III
PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III
LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III
OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV
MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II
MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV
MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV
LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II
LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II
FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II
MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III
MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III
MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III
Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse”. Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation.
Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play–is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth; and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable. [See Note 1.] The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy.
Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon:
You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear… (Lloyd-Jones translation)
Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias:
Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I learned from birds. (Lloyd-Jones translation)
The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled, and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. [See Note 2] By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former.
These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all.
Note 1: The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: "Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -I.ii
Note 2: The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her pride of place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer.
submitted by Carpetfreak to shakespeare [link] [comments]
I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love.
I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth.
This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem–beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar [Note: Students at our college study Macbeth during their Sophomore year.]: why are there so many birds in Macbeth?
KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II
LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V
BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI
LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II
LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II
PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III
PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III
LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III
OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV
MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II
MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV
MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV
LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II
LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II
FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II
MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III
MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III
MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III
Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse”. Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation.
Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play–is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth; and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable. [See Note 1.] The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy.
Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon:
You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear… (Lloyd-Jones translation)
Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias:
Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I learned from birds. (Lloyd-Jones translation)
The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled, and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. [See Note 2] By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former.
These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all.
Note 1: The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: "Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -I.ii
Note 2: The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her pride of place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer.
2024.05.14 05:18 Background-Elk2887 Please give me some advice on this! His ex, him and me!
Background information: I (gay) am seeing a guy who still contacts his ex often even if I am not comfortable with. I started to see this guy a few months ago and we had good communication and often hangout and things go well. However, things started to get weird. There was one time he invited friends including me to his house for crawfish boil and he told me his ex will also be there. They have broke up for 6 months and he told me he would never go back to date his ex. I was okay with going there even if his ex is there. However, he wouldn’t want to admit we are seeing other or knowing each other from a dating app, so when his friend asked us how we met. He wanted me to say we know each other through a mutual friend and to avoid awkwardness, I agreed with that. Plus we just started to see each other at that time, but there was always something in the back of my head that I don’t want to lie about it and I don’t feel comfortable that he doesn’t want introduce me as we seeing each other. After that party, we got much closer and had more conversation and went to my friend wedding together (at the wedding I wanted to say hi to my ex, but he said i don’t feel comfortable if you do that, so I cared about his feelings and didn’t say hi to my ex) and things were going well.
One day, I was hanging out at his house and his ex drove by and saw my car there and started to text him and blocked him because his ex still has feelings about him. He told me “you should’ve parked your car in my garage” and he became panic and nervous and didn’t know what to do and try to explain he is just hanging out with a friend. His ex threatened him to come over to his place and to check who is he hanging out with. That made me really uncomfortable so I just left because I don’t want any drama before we date and I also think he didn’t handle this situation with his ex well. at that day I also find out they hang out every Wednesday night at his place. They also had sex after they broke up. But anyways, he came over to my place that night we had a conversation and he talked to his ex the second day and the situation get better. He promised me this will never happen again.
Then there was one weekend where we were supposed to go carting with some friends and include his ex and me. He told me if I don’t feel comfortable about his ex coming he would tell his ex not coming. So I told him I don’t think that’s a good idea for us to co-exist together because I have to hide that we are just friends. He also never told his friends that we’re seeing each other. And we already lied about how we know each other at the crawfish boil party at the beginning, so that’s why I don’t want his ex to come. He said yes, but he called me two days later that his ex already paid the ticket and that his ex partially planned this event with him so I was OK for him to go even if I don’t feel comfortable with. Btw, I always introduce him to my friends that we are seeing each other.
Recently he has been very busy about his work so we didn’t hang out too much and he told me he couldn’t even call me because his busy schedule which I don’t feel comfortable but I also know that week he has been very busy about his work, but I was also thinking you can’t even call me for like five minutes to share your day with me which also made me uncomfortable and annoyed.
This week his work is not that busy, but he wants to invite his ex and other friends to get together again to another event next weekend. I was very annoyed by him inviting his ex this over and over again, even if I don’t feel comfortable to be with his ex at the same event, and I have communicate with him many times. Last time his ex went there because his ex already paid the ticket but this time I think he shouldn’t invite his ex. He told me that he just want everyone to be happy and not to be left out and he’s also figuring out our situationship. I understand his concern because he is out of country for 10 days and his ex will take care of his dogs so he scared if his ex was left out he might not want to take care of his dogs anymore, but I offered I can do that for him too.
Now I have some concerns that should I continue with this guy or he is not ready to date someone or start a new relationship? I honestly think I made some many compromises and being very understandable, but I feel like he might not be ready to move on which I am fine with just being friends with him cuz I know my worth.
Please give me your honest opinion and advice for me and him.
submitted by Background-Elk2887 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
One day, I was hanging out at his house and his ex drove by and saw my car there and started to text him and blocked him because his ex still has feelings about him. He told me “you should’ve parked your car in my garage” and he became panic and nervous and didn’t know what to do and try to explain he is just hanging out with a friend. His ex threatened him to come over to his place and to check who is he hanging out with. That made me really uncomfortable so I just left because I don’t want any drama before we date and I also think he didn’t handle this situation with his ex well. at that day I also find out they hang out every Wednesday night at his place. They also had sex after they broke up. But anyways, he came over to my place that night we had a conversation and he talked to his ex the second day and the situation get better. He promised me this will never happen again.
Then there was one weekend where we were supposed to go carting with some friends and include his ex and me. He told me if I don’t feel comfortable about his ex coming he would tell his ex not coming. So I told him I don’t think that’s a good idea for us to co-exist together because I have to hide that we are just friends. He also never told his friends that we’re seeing each other. And we already lied about how we know each other at the crawfish boil party at the beginning, so that’s why I don’t want his ex to come. He said yes, but he called me two days later that his ex already paid the ticket and that his ex partially planned this event with him so I was OK for him to go even if I don’t feel comfortable with. Btw, I always introduce him to my friends that we are seeing each other.
Recently he has been very busy about his work so we didn’t hang out too much and he told me he couldn’t even call me because his busy schedule which I don’t feel comfortable but I also know that week he has been very busy about his work, but I was also thinking you can’t even call me for like five minutes to share your day with me which also made me uncomfortable and annoyed.
This week his work is not that busy, but he wants to invite his ex and other friends to get together again to another event next weekend. I was very annoyed by him inviting his ex this over and over again, even if I don’t feel comfortable to be with his ex at the same event, and I have communicate with him many times. Last time his ex went there because his ex already paid the ticket but this time I think he shouldn’t invite his ex. He told me that he just want everyone to be happy and not to be left out and he’s also figuring out our situationship. I understand his concern because he is out of country for 10 days and his ex will take care of his dogs so he scared if his ex was left out he might not want to take care of his dogs anymore, but I offered I can do that for him too.
Now I have some concerns that should I continue with this guy or he is not ready to date someone or start a new relationship? I honestly think I made some many compromises and being very understandable, but I feel like he might not be ready to move on which I am fine with just being friends with him cuz I know my worth.
Please give me your honest opinion and advice for me and him.
2024.05.14 05:12 Street-Resist6438 About India and Indians in Halifax.
Hello, halifax. I have been coming to this subreddit for quite a while now and it's been startling to watch the nature of posts regarding immigrants and international students drastically change over the last few years. I remember people seemed to share mostly positive views towards immigrants, which later changed to concern regarding the pressure immigration was putting on the housing market, and now there's open derision regarding immigrants, particularly, Indians. Anything that people seem to dislike about Indian immigrants or temporary residents, such as those who live in cramped, overcrowded apartments, is ascribed to their culture.
My experience in Halifax as an international student has been nothing but positive so far. There have been several instances where I have been moved by the decency and unassuming kindness of strangers who I've met here. Even though there are things that worry me such as the problems with healthcare and housing, they don't matter as much when I realize just how much I love being part of this community. It has thus been with dismay that I have seen the opinion of people turn against Indians on this forum, and it's also what my Canadian friends have told me about how their friends and family think.
This is why I decided to make this post. Not to point fingers at people for not being nice or making them feel sad for me; I guess, I just want to give my perspective on things and have people decide for themselves. I apologize if the post ends up being too long, I don't know exactly what I'll be writing.
India along with China has nearly a third of the human race living in it. India alone has nearly forty times more people than Canada. However, unlike China with its Han majority, India isn't largely homogeneous, it holds several nations within it. The country is comprised of myriad ethnic, linguistic, and religious communities that usually have little in common with each other. There is no such thing as Indian culture, food, dress, language, or race; these terms are just used by businesses and Indians in Canada to make it easier for them to be identified by others. The things most Indians value are the same as those valued by all people - integrity, honesty, generosity, humility, and fairness. I talk to most Indians I meet in Halifax in English since we don't have a language in common.
I know times are hard for people with the housing crisis, struggling healthcare, inflation and low wages. People in Halifax have experienced rapid changes in a short time, they've suddenly found themselves surrounded by a lot of people who look different, speak a different language, and have different lifestyles. I can understand why a person who grew up in Halifax would think that this is no longer the city they grew up in, with people they no longer recognize, and end up feeling like an outsider in their hometown. This feeling of wanting things to go back to how they used to be does not make people bigots, just humans. Indians of course stick out the most since they form the biggest chunks of immigrants. Colonization by England during the 18th and 19th centuries means that a lot of schools use English as a medium of instruction. Languages spoken in Northern India (also Pakistan/Afghanistan) belong to the Indo-Aryan family which use sentence structures and grammar similar to that of European languages, making it easier for people from these regions to pick up the language even if they didn't speak any to begin with. The annual emigration from India to Canada is about 200000 people, which is nearly 0.01% of the population, the equivalent figure for Canada would be 5000 per year. There is no flood of Indians leaving the country en masse to get into Canada, though I of course understand why it would feel that way from a Canadian's perspective.
A lot of Canadians feel that there is a lot of fraud involved in Indian applications for Canadian study or work permits, but they are also the most scrutinized. My application had 125 pages, I just checked, because I had to provide proof for everything. It's difficult to get away with using fake educational credentials, though people do borrow money to show they have more funds to sustain themselves in Canada than they have. People might wonder how bad actors can then get into Canada on study permits, that's because the requirements for getting a diploma are somewhat low.
It is also true that most people go to the diploma mills in Ontario not for an education, but to earn as much as they can working for as long as possible. Students who are serious about getting a decent education tend to go to universities. I know people chafe at the fact that international students come here for the implicit purpose of getting a PR or citizenship. Still, temporary residents do not even understand that this is considered 'wrong' since that is how these schools and the Canadian government market themselves in the developing world. If getting a PR wasn't an option, you wouldn't see any students from South America, the Caribbeans, Africa, Iran or South Asia.
I have a similar reason for coming here. I felt out of place in India, as if the country was going in a different direction and I was in another. I wanted to see more of the world and experience a different way of life. While I feel like I belong in Canada, and identify more with the culture here, it's darkly amusing to realize that now it's the country that feels that I don't belong.
A lot of people also seem to allege that the Liberal government is importing these people to build its voter base. South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Afghan, Nepali, Bangladeshi) societies are ultra-conservative, and most people have views on immigration that are far to the right of the Canadian Conservatives. Canadian citizens from India, China and Lebanon that I've met all support a stronger curbing of immigration numbers (even from their home countries) and are supporters of Pierre Poilievre. Whether this is a good or a bad thing is something I leave to you to decide. The actual reason for mass immigration seems to be economic and mundane rather than ideologically driven and nefarious. Immigration-driven population growth in 2022 and 2023 helped the Canadian economy stave off a recession by sustaining consumption levels. The Canadian government probably gambled that a housing crisis and inflation were lesser evils for the country compared to a full-blown recession.
There are students and Indian immigrants who are abusing the trust and kindness of the communities they reside in by abusing food banks, cheating in tests or plagiarizing, being unprofessional at work or lacking civic sense in public. But I wonder if Canadians wouldn't have such problems, maybe of a different kind, if as large a group of immigrants arrived from a different country. I have personally not met any Indian student who shared their room with another person let alone several. If I had to guess, it is probably the folks from the Ontario diploma mills who are coming here to work minimum wage jobs in the hopes of a PR (I haven't interacted with any though, it's just a guess). Indians in Canada suffer from inflation and housing the same as anywhere else. It's just that they prefer choosing to stay together in cramped apartments since which they feel is better than the terror of becoming homeless in a foreign land.
There are also things Indians do for white Canadians that they wouldn't do for other Indians. For example, they are more likely to tip if the server or cab driver is white than if they're Indian. Indians also tend to be more courteous to white Canadians than to other Indians. It's from the fear of being judged or having their culture/country be judged by others. I have not cooked any Indian food ever since I came to Halifax after reading that the odour tends to stick to your clothes because of how enclosed Canadian houses are.
It's perfectly reasonable for citizens to demand curbs on immigration, for immigration from each country to be capped, and for requirements for international students to be increased. However, to despise people just because it's been realized that they weren't really needed after all seems a bit excessive. Indians want the same things that Canadians or people anywhere do, the happiness of the people they love. Even if Indians aren't all good, they aren't one big collective, indistinguishable from each other, and bereft of any goodness.
submitted by Street-Resist6438 to halifax [link] [comments]
My experience in Halifax as an international student has been nothing but positive so far. There have been several instances where I have been moved by the decency and unassuming kindness of strangers who I've met here. Even though there are things that worry me such as the problems with healthcare and housing, they don't matter as much when I realize just how much I love being part of this community. It has thus been with dismay that I have seen the opinion of people turn against Indians on this forum, and it's also what my Canadian friends have told me about how their friends and family think.
This is why I decided to make this post. Not to point fingers at people for not being nice or making them feel sad for me; I guess, I just want to give my perspective on things and have people decide for themselves. I apologize if the post ends up being too long, I don't know exactly what I'll be writing.
India along with China has nearly a third of the human race living in it. India alone has nearly forty times more people than Canada. However, unlike China with its Han majority, India isn't largely homogeneous, it holds several nations within it. The country is comprised of myriad ethnic, linguistic, and religious communities that usually have little in common with each other. There is no such thing as Indian culture, food, dress, language, or race; these terms are just used by businesses and Indians in Canada to make it easier for them to be identified by others. The things most Indians value are the same as those valued by all people - integrity, honesty, generosity, humility, and fairness. I talk to most Indians I meet in Halifax in English since we don't have a language in common.
I know times are hard for people with the housing crisis, struggling healthcare, inflation and low wages. People in Halifax have experienced rapid changes in a short time, they've suddenly found themselves surrounded by a lot of people who look different, speak a different language, and have different lifestyles. I can understand why a person who grew up in Halifax would think that this is no longer the city they grew up in, with people they no longer recognize, and end up feeling like an outsider in their hometown. This feeling of wanting things to go back to how they used to be does not make people bigots, just humans. Indians of course stick out the most since they form the biggest chunks of immigrants. Colonization by England during the 18th and 19th centuries means that a lot of schools use English as a medium of instruction. Languages spoken in Northern India (also Pakistan/Afghanistan) belong to the Indo-Aryan family which use sentence structures and grammar similar to that of European languages, making it easier for people from these regions to pick up the language even if they didn't speak any to begin with. The annual emigration from India to Canada is about 200000 people, which is nearly 0.01% of the population, the equivalent figure for Canada would be 5000 per year. There is no flood of Indians leaving the country en masse to get into Canada, though I of course understand why it would feel that way from a Canadian's perspective.
A lot of Canadians feel that there is a lot of fraud involved in Indian applications for Canadian study or work permits, but they are also the most scrutinized. My application had 125 pages, I just checked, because I had to provide proof for everything. It's difficult to get away with using fake educational credentials, though people do borrow money to show they have more funds to sustain themselves in Canada than they have. People might wonder how bad actors can then get into Canada on study permits, that's because the requirements for getting a diploma are somewhat low.
It is also true that most people go to the diploma mills in Ontario not for an education, but to earn as much as they can working for as long as possible. Students who are serious about getting a decent education tend to go to universities. I know people chafe at the fact that international students come here for the implicit purpose of getting a PR or citizenship. Still, temporary residents do not even understand that this is considered 'wrong' since that is how these schools and the Canadian government market themselves in the developing world. If getting a PR wasn't an option, you wouldn't see any students from South America, the Caribbeans, Africa, Iran or South Asia.
I have a similar reason for coming here. I felt out of place in India, as if the country was going in a different direction and I was in another. I wanted to see more of the world and experience a different way of life. While I feel like I belong in Canada, and identify more with the culture here, it's darkly amusing to realize that now it's the country that feels that I don't belong.
A lot of people also seem to allege that the Liberal government is importing these people to build its voter base. South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Afghan, Nepali, Bangladeshi) societies are ultra-conservative, and most people have views on immigration that are far to the right of the Canadian Conservatives. Canadian citizens from India, China and Lebanon that I've met all support a stronger curbing of immigration numbers (even from their home countries) and are supporters of Pierre Poilievre. Whether this is a good or a bad thing is something I leave to you to decide. The actual reason for mass immigration seems to be economic and mundane rather than ideologically driven and nefarious. Immigration-driven population growth in 2022 and 2023 helped the Canadian economy stave off a recession by sustaining consumption levels. The Canadian government probably gambled that a housing crisis and inflation were lesser evils for the country compared to a full-blown recession.
There are students and Indian immigrants who are abusing the trust and kindness of the communities they reside in by abusing food banks, cheating in tests or plagiarizing, being unprofessional at work or lacking civic sense in public. But I wonder if Canadians wouldn't have such problems, maybe of a different kind, if as large a group of immigrants arrived from a different country. I have personally not met any Indian student who shared their room with another person let alone several. If I had to guess, it is probably the folks from the Ontario diploma mills who are coming here to work minimum wage jobs in the hopes of a PR (I haven't interacted with any though, it's just a guess). Indians in Canada suffer from inflation and housing the same as anywhere else. It's just that they prefer choosing to stay together in cramped apartments since which they feel is better than the terror of becoming homeless in a foreign land.
There are also things Indians do for white Canadians that they wouldn't do for other Indians. For example, they are more likely to tip if the server or cab driver is white than if they're Indian. Indians also tend to be more courteous to white Canadians than to other Indians. It's from the fear of being judged or having their culture/country be judged by others. I have not cooked any Indian food ever since I came to Halifax after reading that the odour tends to stick to your clothes because of how enclosed Canadian houses are.
It's perfectly reasonable for citizens to demand curbs on immigration, for immigration from each country to be capped, and for requirements for international students to be increased. However, to despise people just because it's been realized that they weren't really needed after all seems a bit excessive. Indians want the same things that Canadians or people anywhere do, the happiness of the people they love. Even if Indians aren't all good, they aren't one big collective, indistinguishable from each other, and bereft of any goodness.
2024.05.14 05:10 Front-Candidate3990 What specialty should I do if money is not a consideration at all and would like to have time to pursue other ventures?
Hi all,
I am using my second account to write this cause I don't want anything linked to me. In an unexpected turn of events, I am extremely fortunate to have found out I will be inheriting a significant amount of money (50 million+). Considering that a 5% draw on this is probably more than I'll make in any specialty, this changes things. I would be lying if I said money did not play any factor in what I originally chose. I am going to be starting year 2 soon but I want to start thinking about this. Just because I don't ever need to work in my life doesn't mean I don't want to become a doctor and practice medicine. However, I don't only want to practice medicine and I would like to pursue other ventures. For example, I am considering doing something like Radiology and working 1 day a week and using the other days of the week to do real estate or business. I do not live an expensive lifestyle at all nor do I plan to. However, I want to make money so I can be philanthropic and donate to causes I believe in. Money doesn't give fulfillment in life, but how you impact those around you and the community does. I absolutely do not have any desire at all to live a lavish or extravagant lifestyle. I believe that I want to maximize the money I make to make a difference in the world through philanthropic means. I am for sure still going to finish medical school and residency. What specialty do you all believe would be best suited to pursue other ventures while still practicing medicine? Radiology? Anesthesia? Before this news I was considering a surgical subspecialty but a surgical subspecialty would mean I would devote my life to medicine and would not have the ability to do other things like philanthropy.
submitted by Front-Candidate3990 to medicalschool [link] [comments]
I am using my second account to write this cause I don't want anything linked to me. In an unexpected turn of events, I am extremely fortunate to have found out I will be inheriting a significant amount of money (50 million+). Considering that a 5% draw on this is probably more than I'll make in any specialty, this changes things. I would be lying if I said money did not play any factor in what I originally chose. I am going to be starting year 2 soon but I want to start thinking about this. Just because I don't ever need to work in my life doesn't mean I don't want to become a doctor and practice medicine. However, I don't only want to practice medicine and I would like to pursue other ventures. For example, I am considering doing something like Radiology and working 1 day a week and using the other days of the week to do real estate or business. I do not live an expensive lifestyle at all nor do I plan to. However, I want to make money so I can be philanthropic and donate to causes I believe in. Money doesn't give fulfillment in life, but how you impact those around you and the community does. I absolutely do not have any desire at all to live a lavish or extravagant lifestyle. I believe that I want to maximize the money I make to make a difference in the world through philanthropic means. I am for sure still going to finish medical school and residency. What specialty do you all believe would be best suited to pursue other ventures while still practicing medicine? Radiology? Anesthesia? Before this news I was considering a surgical subspecialty but a surgical subspecialty would mean I would devote my life to medicine and would not have the ability to do other things like philanthropy.
2024.05.14 05:09 itsthekeri AITAH: For struggling to forgive my husband after he ghosted me on a guys' night and came home at 5 am?
Last Friday, my husband (34M) was invited by one of his bosses to attend an Angel’s game. I (39F) encouraged him to go because we rarely take time off, and it's important to connect with higher-ups in the company. It turned out to be a guys-only outing, which I didn't mind as I was looking forward to some solo time playing Red Dead Online. The plan was dinner, the game, and then heading back home. He left around 2 pm, and the next time I heard from him was at 7:30 pm when he sent me a video from his seat behind the Angel’s dugout. We discussed our plans for the following day, including an early trip to SeaWorld, and shared affectionate messages before he mentioned that he wouldn't be home late as the game would end at 9 pm.
As the game carried on, I kept an eye out hoping to catch a glimpse of him and I did! 😅 I sent him a text at 9:25 pm telling him how crazy the ending of the game was. (KC Royals ended up winning after trailing behind most the night). By midnight, with no response, concern started to creep in, but I resisted blowing him up with messages to avoid seeming overly anxious. Despite attempting to keep busy with laundry, my mind was spiraling. By 2 am, there was still no sign of him at home or my message being read. Exhausted and with plans for a family visit to SeaWorld in the morning, I finally drifted off at 4 am to get some rest as to not be a zombie around our kids (7F, 4F). However, I was awakened when he returned at 5 am, smelling of alcohol, and attempting to cuddle me.
I immediately jumped up and began asking where the hell he was all night. He explained that he lost track of time and his phone while out and assumed everything was fine after our earlier conversation. He says after the game they came back to his bosses house. Frustrated and tired, I questioned why he didn't just call to let me know about the delay. He claimed he thought I was asleep, disregarding the assurance he gave me earlier that he wouldn't be late, which caused me to worry and stay up in the first place. We argued all the way until 8am and I ended up just taking the kids to SeaWorld by myself and left him behind.
Despite his apologies and assurances these past couple days, I finding it really difficult to move past feeling disrespected. Being under the influence isn't an excuse to vanish without a word and dismiss it as unintentional when confronted. I'm struggling to find a way to forgive or even believe his story. Am I overreacting?
submitted by itsthekeri to AITAH [link] [comments]
As the game carried on, I kept an eye out hoping to catch a glimpse of him and I did! 😅 I sent him a text at 9:25 pm telling him how crazy the ending of the game was. (KC Royals ended up winning after trailing behind most the night). By midnight, with no response, concern started to creep in, but I resisted blowing him up with messages to avoid seeming overly anxious. Despite attempting to keep busy with laundry, my mind was spiraling. By 2 am, there was still no sign of him at home or my message being read. Exhausted and with plans for a family visit to SeaWorld in the morning, I finally drifted off at 4 am to get some rest as to not be a zombie around our kids (7F, 4F). However, I was awakened when he returned at 5 am, smelling of alcohol, and attempting to cuddle me.
I immediately jumped up and began asking where the hell he was all night. He explained that he lost track of time and his phone while out and assumed everything was fine after our earlier conversation. He says after the game they came back to his bosses house. Frustrated and tired, I questioned why he didn't just call to let me know about the delay. He claimed he thought I was asleep, disregarding the assurance he gave me earlier that he wouldn't be late, which caused me to worry and stay up in the first place. We argued all the way until 8am and I ended up just taking the kids to SeaWorld by myself and left him behind.
Despite his apologies and assurances these past couple days, I finding it really difficult to move past feeling disrespected. Being under the influence isn't an excuse to vanish without a word and dismiss it as unintentional when confronted. I'm struggling to find a way to forgive or even believe his story. Am I overreacting?
2024.05.14 05:07 gomeowzz My mother can't approve of my boyfriend (Long Post)
Hi! My first post here.
To cut to the chase, I have a mother who always wants to find something wrong with my life. Ever since I was a child, she found the smallest things to be mad at me for, such as doing a chore just slightly incorrectly, and every single time she'd call me "useless". She constantly compared me to other children, and still does the same now and my big age of 19. Apparently, I'm not independent enough, and I don't care about her enough, even though I'm constantly going out of my way to prove that she's wrong. She's my mother, I would do anything for her. But she doesn't see that at all. Once, I told her I didn't like it when she called me worthless, and she told me that she said it because I am. She never apologized. Trust me, there's loads of things she's done to me that many of my friends feel like would justify me running away, but I'm not going to be too morbid.
At the same time, she's my best friend. I'm an only child who grew up with little friends, so the person I interacted with the most was her. We share a lot of the same interests and gossip about family drama. It's at those times, I feel like I'm wrong about her. But this time, she did something I feel I can't forgive her for.
Last July, I finally got a boyfriend. It seems like we're soulmates...we met on dating app but found that we have so many friends in common and also that we used to go to the same school as children. He's more than I could ever ask for. He travels to where I am by train for more than 2 hours every week (so a total of 4-5 hours). Once, he travelled more than 3 hours (a total of 6 hours) to see me in my university campus because I was feeling depressed about my assignments.
He indulges in my passions and interests. He doesn't have much money but sometimes scrimps on his meals throughout the week so he can afford to get me a small treat like ice cream when we see each other. He bought me roses on Valentines. He buys me meaningful gifts whenever he can. He understands me on a super deep level and we talk about everything. I could call him at 3am with a problem and he'd pick up. He never gets mad at me, and we've never had an argument because we always sort out our issues by communicating effectively. Heck, he even follows me to church sometimes because he wants to show me that he's interested in the things that matter to me and because he wanted to make a good impression on my mom-who married someone who never took interest in anything she did or liked let alone follow her to church every other week.
He's the most amazing guy I could ever want, and his family loves me (he jokes that they love me more than him). It's just that I haven't met them yet, since there's the distance to take into account, and because both his parents work so they're constantly busy. Also, they wanted to respect the fact that my mother might not let me go all the way to their house because of how far it is. Still, he always tells his family about me, and I often speak to his 3 sisters on the phone as they're younger than me and sometimes like hearing my advice.
My boyfriend, though, has met my mother on multiple occasions and she told me she loved him. My dad on the other hand, is actively avoiding meeting him (example: we were supposed to follow my dad to the temple for a special occasion, but at the last minute he backed out. He would never back out from that kind of thing).
If you're wondering, this is where the issue starts. My mother thinks it's incredibly suspicious that I haven't met his family yet (even though I told her I'm meeting them on the day my boyfriend graduates from pre-university). It was never really a big deal to me, since I have met his close friends and spoken to his sisters-and the fact his parents knew about me and liked me was enough. I understood that they are both busy working people and they live quite far from me. But yesterday, all this blew up in my face.
I asked my mother if she'd be okay with me taking a trip with my boyfriend, just for a couple of days, to celebrate our first anniversary. I wasn't expecting a yes or no, really. Just asking. Initially she yelled at me about how I haven't even met his parents yet and how he hasn't met my dad yet (which was entirely his fault) and said we should do it in September instead. I said okay.
Then, when I got back to campus later that night, I called her again to check up on her and she brought this up again. She said my dad disapproved of the trip and went on for 15 minutes about many things. I'll summarize in a list about what she said.
I had never been so hurt in my life! What happened to "don't worry about money just focus on getting your degree"? Anyway, my boyfriend never complains when I tell him I need to be by myself on that day because I need to study and do my work...I'm one of the hardest workers in my class and he knows how much my studies mean to me. It's not my fault I'm not getting distinctions.
Now I'm a mess. I want her to love my boyfriend, and I want my dad to love my boyfriend. But he's truly done as much as he can to get their approval but he's depressed himself knowing that none of his efforts have been seen by them. He has a life, a curfew, and a worrying mother too...he can't always be accommodating to me (his mother initially didn't like me because she felt like he was spending too much time and money coming to see me but came around eventually), so I accommodate to him whenever by choosing a convenient location for us to meet up and meeting up at a later time. Because of this, my mother says I'm doing too much because distance isn't an excuse (it kind of is).
Anyhow, my question is, how in the world do I deal with this? Or at least, I need some comfort...this is the best relationship I'm honestly ever going to have but my mother wants me to date around because that's what she thinks having fun means. She thinks I'm sacrificing everything when the truth is, I'm having loads of fun in university with my new friends, I still see my old friends, and I have more than enough time to focus on my studies. He's not distracting me from everything.
How do I convince such a stubborn woman to be on my side?
submitted by gomeowzz to Advice [link] [comments]
To cut to the chase, I have a mother who always wants to find something wrong with my life. Ever since I was a child, she found the smallest things to be mad at me for, such as doing a chore just slightly incorrectly, and every single time she'd call me "useless". She constantly compared me to other children, and still does the same now and my big age of 19. Apparently, I'm not independent enough, and I don't care about her enough, even though I'm constantly going out of my way to prove that she's wrong. She's my mother, I would do anything for her. But she doesn't see that at all. Once, I told her I didn't like it when she called me worthless, and she told me that she said it because I am. She never apologized. Trust me, there's loads of things she's done to me that many of my friends feel like would justify me running away, but I'm not going to be too morbid.
At the same time, she's my best friend. I'm an only child who grew up with little friends, so the person I interacted with the most was her. We share a lot of the same interests and gossip about family drama. It's at those times, I feel like I'm wrong about her. But this time, she did something I feel I can't forgive her for.
Last July, I finally got a boyfriend. It seems like we're soulmates...we met on dating app but found that we have so many friends in common and also that we used to go to the same school as children. He's more than I could ever ask for. He travels to where I am by train for more than 2 hours every week (so a total of 4-5 hours). Once, he travelled more than 3 hours (a total of 6 hours) to see me in my university campus because I was feeling depressed about my assignments.
He indulges in my passions and interests. He doesn't have much money but sometimes scrimps on his meals throughout the week so he can afford to get me a small treat like ice cream when we see each other. He bought me roses on Valentines. He buys me meaningful gifts whenever he can. He understands me on a super deep level and we talk about everything. I could call him at 3am with a problem and he'd pick up. He never gets mad at me, and we've never had an argument because we always sort out our issues by communicating effectively. Heck, he even follows me to church sometimes because he wants to show me that he's interested in the things that matter to me and because he wanted to make a good impression on my mom-who married someone who never took interest in anything she did or liked let alone follow her to church every other week.
He's the most amazing guy I could ever want, and his family loves me (he jokes that they love me more than him). It's just that I haven't met them yet, since there's the distance to take into account, and because both his parents work so they're constantly busy. Also, they wanted to respect the fact that my mother might not let me go all the way to their house because of how far it is. Still, he always tells his family about me, and I often speak to his 3 sisters on the phone as they're younger than me and sometimes like hearing my advice.
My boyfriend, though, has met my mother on multiple occasions and she told me she loved him. My dad on the other hand, is actively avoiding meeting him (example: we were supposed to follow my dad to the temple for a special occasion, but at the last minute he backed out. He would never back out from that kind of thing).
If you're wondering, this is where the issue starts. My mother thinks it's incredibly suspicious that I haven't met his family yet (even though I told her I'm meeting them on the day my boyfriend graduates from pre-university). It was never really a big deal to me, since I have met his close friends and spoken to his sisters-and the fact his parents knew about me and liked me was enough. I understood that they are both busy working people and they live quite far from me. But yesterday, all this blew up in my face.
I asked my mother if she'd be okay with me taking a trip with my boyfriend, just for a couple of days, to celebrate our first anniversary. I wasn't expecting a yes or no, really. Just asking. Initially she yelled at me about how I haven't even met his parents yet and how he hasn't met my dad yet (which was entirely his fault) and said we should do it in September instead. I said okay.
Then, when I got back to campus later that night, I called her again to check up on her and she brought this up again. She said my dad disapproved of the trip and went on for 15 minutes about many things. I'll summarize in a list about what she said.
- He isn't good enough for you
- He doesn't want you to meet his family
- His family probably doesn't like you because they haven't met you yet
- You guys are taking things too fast and should continue getting to know each other
- You're always sacrificing for him
- You're getting the short end of the stick
- There are better people for you to date
- You're sacrificing your studies for him and you'll get distracted by him
I had never been so hurt in my life! What happened to "don't worry about money just focus on getting your degree"? Anyway, my boyfriend never complains when I tell him I need to be by myself on that day because I need to study and do my work...I'm one of the hardest workers in my class and he knows how much my studies mean to me. It's not my fault I'm not getting distinctions.
Now I'm a mess. I want her to love my boyfriend, and I want my dad to love my boyfriend. But he's truly done as much as he can to get their approval but he's depressed himself knowing that none of his efforts have been seen by them. He has a life, a curfew, and a worrying mother too...he can't always be accommodating to me (his mother initially didn't like me because she felt like he was spending too much time and money coming to see me but came around eventually), so I accommodate to him whenever by choosing a convenient location for us to meet up and meeting up at a later time. Because of this, my mother says I'm doing too much because distance isn't an excuse (it kind of is).
Anyhow, my question is, how in the world do I deal with this? Or at least, I need some comfort...this is the best relationship I'm honestly ever going to have but my mother wants me to date around because that's what she thinks having fun means. She thinks I'm sacrificing everything when the truth is, I'm having loads of fun in university with my new friends, I still see my old friends, and I have more than enough time to focus on my studies. He's not distracting me from everything.
How do I convince such a stubborn woman to be on my side?
2024.05.14 05:03 Muslim_conservative What % of butters do you guys think know theyre gambing and dont beleive in bitcoin?
For example,
This morning i gamblee 10k into amc at $3 , i know its a failing business and i just simply kmow at this point i am now gambing.
Wonder whar % of butters are like that?
submitted by Muslim_conservative to Buttcoin [link] [comments]
This morning i gamblee 10k into amc at $3 , i know its a failing business and i just simply kmow at this point i am now gambing.
Wonder whar % of butters are like that?
2024.05.14 04:55 ryn2019 [tenant US-KY] landlord trying to evict for not working?
Need advice on how to handle
So, I moved into a trailer with my 4 year old son back in October. My landlord lives next door. I always pay my rent early and I communicate with them any problems or concerns I have. Shortly before I moved in I had started passing out daily. As the months went by, these fainting spells progressively have gotten worse and now I’m also have several seizures a day. So that being said, I can no longer work, drive or stay on my own. The last time I stayed alone, I passed out on my back deck and hit my head on a concrete slab, resulting in a concussion. So, I had a highschool friend start staying with me to keep that from happening again. A week later I went to pay my rent and updated them on my situation. They said for one, they don’t want him staying there, cause he was at one of their other properties and they asked him to leave. He confirmed this, but he was only there getting things together for the tenant as they had asked him to do. I’ve spoken w the other tenant who has also confirmed this. They also said he was a drug dealer, cause he was pulled over and someone else got arrested w drugs and intent to distribute. He was not detained or arrested. They said that if I’m not working I must be selling drugs as well, and if I have anyone else stay with me they will also kick me out. They are also upset I had a concussion and didn’t tell them. I told them when I was admitted to the hospital, I just hadn’t shared every bit of my health problems with them as it’s my business and I don’t even know what is going on yet. Are they entitled to know every time I hit my head at home from seizing or passing out? I have been staying with a friend for 3 days cause it really caught me off guard and I’m concerned for both my son and my own safety. I’m not sure how to handle this, I have had no people over until now and it’s just the one person, I only leave for doctors appointments. I have no clue where they could possibly draw this severe of a conclusion from? Any and all advice is welcome and invited. I still don’t even know what is causing my symptoms but this stress is definitely not helping.
submitted by ryn2019 to Landlord [link] [comments]
So, I moved into a trailer with my 4 year old son back in October. My landlord lives next door. I always pay my rent early and I communicate with them any problems or concerns I have. Shortly before I moved in I had started passing out daily. As the months went by, these fainting spells progressively have gotten worse and now I’m also have several seizures a day. So that being said, I can no longer work, drive or stay on my own. The last time I stayed alone, I passed out on my back deck and hit my head on a concrete slab, resulting in a concussion. So, I had a highschool friend start staying with me to keep that from happening again. A week later I went to pay my rent and updated them on my situation. They said for one, they don’t want him staying there, cause he was at one of their other properties and they asked him to leave. He confirmed this, but he was only there getting things together for the tenant as they had asked him to do. I’ve spoken w the other tenant who has also confirmed this. They also said he was a drug dealer, cause he was pulled over and someone else got arrested w drugs and intent to distribute. He was not detained or arrested. They said that if I’m not working I must be selling drugs as well, and if I have anyone else stay with me they will also kick me out. They are also upset I had a concussion and didn’t tell them. I told them when I was admitted to the hospital, I just hadn’t shared every bit of my health problems with them as it’s my business and I don’t even know what is going on yet. Are they entitled to know every time I hit my head at home from seizing or passing out? I have been staying with a friend for 3 days cause it really caught me off guard and I’m concerned for both my son and my own safety. I’m not sure how to handle this, I have had no people over until now and it’s just the one person, I only leave for doctors appointments. I have no clue where they could possibly draw this severe of a conclusion from? Any and all advice is welcome and invited. I still don’t even know what is causing my symptoms but this stress is definitely not helping.
2024.05.14 04:50 Possible-Building-81 Writing a good resignation?
I (25F) only been at my current job since February but I’m ready to leave, it appeared to be a good opportunity but there are a few issues and I’m basically just a glorified cleaner. My line manager is aware I’m not completely happy and the business owner called me recently to discuss this, I was transparent with him and let him know I had been invited to an interview elsewhere this week and will be attending (I actually have 3 interviews lined up and a guaranteed job offer at a friends business if they don’t work out) but I’m a people pleaser and I’m really struggling with writing a resignation, I don’t know why I’m finding it so difficult as I have resigned from my two previous jobs (I had been at my previous jobs for years and felt comfortable and supported in my decision so maybe that’s why they were easier to do). Please any tips or advice welcome.
TLDR- anxious about writing/handing in my resignation any advice welcome.
submitted by Possible-Building-81 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
TLDR- anxious about writing/handing in my resignation any advice welcome.
2024.05.14 04:49 cheinyeanlim The EU designates Booking as a DMA gatekeeper, saying “holidaymakers will start benefiting from more choice and hotels will have more business opportunities”
 | EU Designates Booking as DMA Gatekeeper, Promising Increased Choice for Holidaymakers and Business Opportunities for Hotels. A New Era in Travel Booking Begins. Booking #EU #TravelIndustry #DigitalMarketsAct submitted by cheinyeanlim to martechnewser [link] [comments] Stay ahead of the curve with the latest trends in tech and marketing – join our subreddit community martechnewser today for instant notifications! https://preview.redd.it/n4lp4qr33b0d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22ca3c11ed5b47c5f87483f82d17e5d8d876223a
"The move means the firm has six months to make sure it complies with a raft of preemptive measures under the EU’s flagship Digital Markets Act, aimed at preventing competition abuses before they take hold." The rapid enforcement of the Digital Markets Act against Booking Holdings Inc. and similar firms reveals a shift in global regulatory practices towards proactive measures rather than reactive penalties. This approach not only aims to protect consumers but also to ensure a level playing field among businesses, large and small, in the increasingly digital economy. |
2024.05.14 04:48 Sub_a1122 Ugh I hate my life. Am I in the wrong to not want my cousins to come to my graduation?
I don’t want to invite my cousin and his wife to my graduation so much has happened in the past here that made me hate them and they obviously are just so fake. People are just gonna be a long story but just to give a background of why I don’t want to invite them last year in August my uncle is my cousins dad passed away, in a little while later, like less than a month later, my grandma passed away I thought that after the passing of his father, and then also my grandmother, that they would be more closer to us and treat us like family, but they are just stupid morons first we my family help them move into their house help them paint, takeoff the wallpaper‘s and do it and basically everything. Wow they didn’t have their “friends” to help them out at all yet when they decided to call people over to have dinner they did not invite us and we also knew those people to so it’s honestly so stupid. They have us do the hard work and then party with other people. What the fuck they did whatever after that they called us for cultural festival but honestly my parents didn’t like that they were celebrating too early because it hasn’t been 45 days since my grandma died but it’s been long enough since dad died and they said it’s celebrating all other people and they lied and said that they were only calling us, I feel like after that, they started to things behind our backs and started being big fat liars, especially my cousin his wife, already giving some looks at us whenever we go to their house and pretending to be busy. My cousin lies a lot now he’s also been the biggest liar of all. His wife freaking stayed in our house for like 2 weeks, twice because of the passing of her father-in-law and then my grandma and yet she treats us like shit it looks like she never wants to actually like make dinner whatever for us specifically because we’re re too much or whatever that’s why like five people even though now she’s pregnant with freaking twins soon gonna be a family of four and they eat way more than us anyways, there’s been quite a few instances where they had parties at their house with a lot of other people and then don’t even call us at least me and my siblings because we’re cousins like they didn’t call us for one of them. One time my mom and my brother went to her house and walked into a party that we were not invited to really embarrassing. What’s even more stupid is that my cousin’s wife didn’t even care to say that food in the kitchen it during lunch nor offer, no, she just gave apples lmfao. I am really mad at them all the stuff they’re doing and they’re not changing OK fine but I don’t want to be with them. I blocked both of their phone numbers. Now my parents are saying that I have to invite them to my graduation or else it’s gonna be an embarrassment to the family and we’re gonna look stupid. Even my siblings are saying that so I don’t know I don’t want to come to my graduation, especially since my cousin didn’t even come to my high school graduation, which is ultimately more significant since I’m just graduating from community college and transferring to a university this fall. I didn’t even feel like having a graduation this year. I just wanted to chill but after I got a notice that I got a very prestigious, recognition or or whatever you would call it now I have to go to the graduation for that and I would only be saying this and I want to invite them because of all the stuff the shit they did last year and this year. So am I being stupid 😭 Those people are just toxic!
submitted by Sub_a1122 to college [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 04:45 cupofoh BS Business
 | I'm considering enrolling in the BS in Business Administration Management at WGU. Can anyone tell me what master's programs at WGU I can pursue after completing this bachelor's degree? For example if I wanted to pursue a MS in Accounting or Data Analytics after completing BSBA, would it be possible? submitted by cupofoh to WGU [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 04:42 wrldendswu Is my sibling a narc or am I exaggerating?
Hello, sorry if I'm posting in the wrong thread but I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't know if I'm reading the situation wrong/if I'm the crazy exaggerator so here I wanted an outside opinion.
For context, me and my sister were raised by my single mom, who is also an immigrant. My sister has classified my mom as a narcissist and an abuser, and I would definitely agree that she has narcissistic tendencies, they're pretty much in line with the "immigrant parent" experience and although the abuse has lessened with age.
My sister was pretty much the scapegoat and I was the golden child 80% of the time; the only time I was "the problem" was when social issues were involved as I was very much autistic+ADD and had no idea how to relate to others, so I was bullied and blamed for it. My sister has ADHD and was terrible at school, which is where a lot of my mom's anger towards her came from. She's very bitter about the majority of our childhood, which I understand; there are things that happened that I will also simply never recover from, even with therapy.
My sister is bubbly, charismatic, and very empathetic. I can't stress that enough; everyone loves her. She's friends with random people in our neighborhood, she talks to and befriends homeless people, and is training to be a social worker. She has many close friends and talks to them all day and night. Our relationship was pretty rocky when we were kids, and I can't say that we're as close as some siblings are, but I always thought our relationship was okay. My mom would sometimes complain that we were against her, but I think she was just frustrated that we wouldn't turn on each other easily. However, I did start to notice a few things about my sisters behavior that is concerning me.
But at the same time, she goes out of her way to help other people with their paperwork; she even helped a coworker get into grant/loan program for university, and that paperwork was 10 times harder than what she has to fill out. It's very confusing, it makes me feel like she does these things so people like her.
I'm probably being very one sided here, but whenever I think about some of these issues it just reminds me of my mom in a way. I've survived my mom by just nodding along and waiting for the storm to blow over, but my sisters actions are much more annoying to me for some reason. If anyone has any input it would be appreciated. I don't want to think I'm living with 2 narcissists; maybe I'm actually the problem. because of my ASD I find it very hard to communicate my feelings and I tend to shut up or become very mean and short at random times. I try my best but I do need to work on using my words and making sure they can't be used against me.
submitted by wrldendswu to TrueNarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]
For context, me and my sister were raised by my single mom, who is also an immigrant. My sister has classified my mom as a narcissist and an abuser, and I would definitely agree that she has narcissistic tendencies, they're pretty much in line with the "immigrant parent" experience and although the abuse has lessened with age.
My sister was pretty much the scapegoat and I was the golden child 80% of the time; the only time I was "the problem" was when social issues were involved as I was very much autistic+ADD and had no idea how to relate to others, so I was bullied and blamed for it. My sister has ADHD and was terrible at school, which is where a lot of my mom's anger towards her came from. She's very bitter about the majority of our childhood, which I understand; there are things that happened that I will also simply never recover from, even with therapy.
My sister is bubbly, charismatic, and very empathetic. I can't stress that enough; everyone loves her. She's friends with random people in our neighborhood, she talks to and befriends homeless people, and is training to be a social worker. She has many close friends and talks to them all day and night. Our relationship was pretty rocky when we were kids, and I can't say that we're as close as some siblings are, but I always thought our relationship was okay. My mom would sometimes complain that we were against her, but I think she was just frustrated that we wouldn't turn on each other easily. However, I did start to notice a few things about my sisters behavior that is concerning me.
- She has a victim complex/hard time doing anything important by herself, but only when I'm available to help/do it for her.
But at the same time, she goes out of her way to help other people with their paperwork; she even helped a coworker get into grant/loan program for university, and that paperwork was 10 times harder than what she has to fill out. It's very confusing, it makes me feel like she does these things so people like her.
- She hates responsibility.
I feel like this is her being self aware that she's sort of useless. For example; she doesn't have a credit card, and just uses my moms/mine and pays us back at the end of the month. Recently, I asked her to stop using my credit card since she kept forgetting to pay me the right amount. She also had this habit of using my card as a form of revenge against me if I forgot to pick up her things during my grocery run (she can't drive). She would also threaten to use my card if I didn't do things for her (she said it was a joke, but it rubbed me the wrong way). Anyway, she got upset and said she needed my card for emergencies. I asked why she didn't just apply for a credit card. She said she was unsure if she would be responsible enough to manage a credit cards and make payments on time. But...she felt comfortable using MY card? The one that I have to manage and make sure payments are made on time? I explained how worrisome that was and she just told me I was crazy and controlling.
- She is always telling me how bad of a person I am when I don't do as she says. Like, morally.
- She makes fun of/belittles me in front of her friends constantly, but gets upset when I do it back.
- she is always switching up the narrative.
- She sets boundaries, but I can't.
I'm probably being very one sided here, but whenever I think about some of these issues it just reminds me of my mom in a way. I've survived my mom by just nodding along and waiting for the storm to blow over, but my sisters actions are much more annoying to me for some reason. If anyone has any input it would be appreciated. I don't want to think I'm living with 2 narcissists; maybe I'm actually the problem. because of my ASD I find it very hard to communicate my feelings and I tend to shut up or become very mean and short at random times. I try my best but I do need to work on using my words and making sure they can't be used against me.
2024.05.14 04:40 Dry_Forever4368 Are they the asshole?
Recently I have been on crutches and honestly shouldn’t be walking at all. I have tendonitis in my wrists and Achilles. I told this to my friends I have lunch with everyday and said I need to eat somewhere closer to my class because I can barely walk. One of my friends (who I eat lunch with everyday) said she wasn’t going to eat with me because it was too loud (it was in the Quieter area of work) and she needed to do some work. However she has said multiple types she needs to get in that room to do work, but every time she’s there she never does work and instead talks. I have never seen her work during our break once. I know this may seem small but it pissed me off. All of my other friends were busy. Am I overreacting? FYI: I have invited her to multiple events that were very expensive. She has canceled plans on me multiple times and said she’s busy then never makes new plans. However she’s always hanging out with her other work friends. She also got two other friends tickets to an amusement park and said she didn’t think I’d want to go.
submitted by Dry_Forever4368 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 04:33 Bishop-Boomer Bible Studies From The Daily Office Tuesday May 14, 2024
The Collect
O God, the King of glory, you have exalted your only Son Jesus Christ with great triumph to your kingdom in heaven: Do not leave us comfortless, but send us your Holy Spirit to strengthen us, and exalt us to that place where our Savior Christ has gone before; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
Readings:
Psalm 97; 99; 100 Reading I Samuel 16:1–13a
Gospel: Matthew 8:18–27
18 Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side.
19 And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest
20 And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head
21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
22 But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
23 And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him.
24 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.
25 And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.
26 And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.
27 But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!
Commentary:
Our study for today encompasses a collection of seemingly unrelated passages, but when viewed as a whole we find a great lesson in the cost of discipleship; not only for those who made up the first century church but for us today as well.
Although the verses recommended for this day begin with verse 18, by looking back at the rest of the chapter we find information which establishes the scene and gives us context for our understanding. Rather than to take a single verse at its face value, we must always look at the preceding verses as well as those that follow so as to thoroughly understand.
Assuming Matthews recollections of the events of chapter 8 are reflective of works of Christ that hapopened on the same day—and not events from throughout his ministry and lumped together here as Matthew wrote this Gospel years after the fact—we could conclude that our Lord had a busy day.
The chapter begins as Jesus is coming down off of the mountain where he preached the Sermon on the Mount, a great multitude of people following his every step, and a leper comes to worship him, he heals the man and tells him, “See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.” Then after entering Capernium a Roman Centurion comes to him asking Jesus to heal his servant. Impressed by the faith of a man who was not a Jew, but a Roman Gentile, Jesus healed the man’s slave by the authority of his word without even going to the slave’s bedside.
Matthew tells us that Jesus continued to heal many that day, beginning with Peter’s mother-in-law, then many others who were sick or possess by demons.
Our Lord had no qualms about healing the sick, but throughout the Gospels we can detect a note of concern on his part in that many were coming to him, apparently for the sole purpose of the healing of physical ailments, and not for the healing of spiritual illness. We find in more than one place, Jesus making the decision to cross over the Sea of Galilee, presumably so that he could teach away from the crowds that seemed to only want physical cures.
“Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side. And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head” (vs. 18-20)
In a time when most were illiterate and few could even write, Scribes held an important position. Scribes had knowledge of the law and could draft legal documents (contracts for marriage, divorce, loans, inheritance, mortgages, the sale of land, and the like). Every village had at least one scribe, and we can surmise that scribes enjoyed a certain degree of wealth due to the need of their services.
Jesus lived a very simple life, traveling about teaching the people of his plan for salvation, a life that was not glamorous and one without financial compensation. Jesus didn’t tell the man “No, you can’t follow Me.” But He told him the truth, without painting a glamorized version of what it was like to follow Him. This is the opposite of techniques used by many evangelists today, but Jesus wanted the man to know what it would really be like.
“And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” (vs. 21-22)
“Actually, this man did not ask for permission to dig a grave for his deceased father. He wanted to remain in his father’s house and care for him until the father died. This was obviously an indefinite period, which could drag on and on. This man was another of His disciples; yet he did not follow Jesus as he should have, nor as the 12 disciples did. This shows us that the term disciples has a somewhat broad meaning in the Gospel of Matthew, and must be understood in its context. The man wanted to follow Jesus, but not just yet. He knew it was good and that he should do it, but he felt there was a good reason why he could not do it now.” (Guzik)
“The excuse that this disciple made, to defer an immediate attendance on Christ (v. 21); "Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Before I come to be a close and constant follower of thee, let me be allowed to perform this last office of respect to my father; and in the mean time, let it suffice to be a hearer of thee now and then, when I can spare time." His father (some think) was now sick, or dying, or dead; others think, he was only aged, and not likely in a course of nature, to continue long; and he desired leave to attend upon him in his sickness, at his death, and to his grave, and then he would be at Christ's service. This seemed a reasonable request, and yet it was not right. He had not the zeal he should have had for the work, and therefore pleaded this, because it seemed a plausible plea.” (Henry)
“And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him. And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!” (vs. 23-27)
“He does not chide them for disturbing him with their prayers, but for disturbing themselves with their fears.” (Henry)
Here we have three great lessons in discipleship. The scribe would have been accustomed to receiving remuneration for his services, a disciple of Christ in those days as well as today must be prepared for hardship. Scribes such as this man enjoyed a certain degree of celebrity, an important man in the community who provided a service that was often needed. Disciples seldom gain celebrity, and the ones that do, frequently experience a downfall. Jesus said; “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” (Mt. 6:24) Jesus knew that this man would find it difficult to leave that which he was used to and to take up the cross and follow him.
The second lesson involves a disciple—a follower but not of the 12—who would have Jesus wait on him, until the man’s father had died and his affairs settled. Jesus knew his time on Earth was short, his appointment with destiny was just months away, but this man expected Jesus to wait for him.
We have to remember that at this point in his ministry, even the 12 seemed to think that when he established the Kingdom of God, they would enjoy high ranking positions in his administration. So many failed to realize that Jesus was speaking of a spiritual kingdom, a heavenly kingdom, and not a worldly political subdivision. Although Matthew does not make this point clear, we might surmise that this man wanted to be part of what he erroneously perceived to be a glorious worldly kingdom that rivaled that of King David’s era. Whatever the case may be in this man’s situation, when we consider the rebuke Jesus gave him “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” We can learn of another great cost in discipleship, the need to serve Jesus versus the need to serve our own agenda.
Finally we come to the third lesson. “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” We, as disciples of Christ, must always have faith, even in the face of danger.
Matthew Henry wrote: “His disciples followed him; the twelve kept close to him, when others staid behind upon the terra firma, where there was sure footing. Note, They, and they only, will be found the true disciples of Christ, that are willing to go to sea with him, to follow him into dangers and difficulties. Many would be content to go the land-way to heaven, that will rather stand still, or go back, than venture upon a dangerous sea; but those that would rest with Christ hereafter must follow him now wherever he leads them, into a ship or into a prison, as well as into a palace.”
Benediction
Almighty and most merciful God, grant that by the indwelling of your Holy Spirit we may be enlightened and strengthened for your service; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Thought for the Day:
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity.
Benjamin Franklin
submitted by Bishop-Boomer to ChristianityUnfilter [link] [comments]
O God, the King of glory, you have exalted your only Son Jesus Christ with great triumph to your kingdom in heaven: Do not leave us comfortless, but send us your Holy Spirit to strengthen us, and exalt us to that place where our Savior Christ has gone before; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
Readings:
Psalm 97; 99; 100 Reading I Samuel 16:1–13a
Gospel: Matthew 8:18–27
18 Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side.
19 And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest
20 And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head
21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
22 But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
23 And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him.
24 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.
25 And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.
26 And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.
27 But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!
Commentary:
Our study for today encompasses a collection of seemingly unrelated passages, but when viewed as a whole we find a great lesson in the cost of discipleship; not only for those who made up the first century church but for us today as well.
Although the verses recommended for this day begin with verse 18, by looking back at the rest of the chapter we find information which establishes the scene and gives us context for our understanding. Rather than to take a single verse at its face value, we must always look at the preceding verses as well as those that follow so as to thoroughly understand.
Assuming Matthews recollections of the events of chapter 8 are reflective of works of Christ that hapopened on the same day—and not events from throughout his ministry and lumped together here as Matthew wrote this Gospel years after the fact—we could conclude that our Lord had a busy day.
The chapter begins as Jesus is coming down off of the mountain where he preached the Sermon on the Mount, a great multitude of people following his every step, and a leper comes to worship him, he heals the man and tells him, “See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.” Then after entering Capernium a Roman Centurion comes to him asking Jesus to heal his servant. Impressed by the faith of a man who was not a Jew, but a Roman Gentile, Jesus healed the man’s slave by the authority of his word without even going to the slave’s bedside.
Matthew tells us that Jesus continued to heal many that day, beginning with Peter’s mother-in-law, then many others who were sick or possess by demons.
Our Lord had no qualms about healing the sick, but throughout the Gospels we can detect a note of concern on his part in that many were coming to him, apparently for the sole purpose of the healing of physical ailments, and not for the healing of spiritual illness. We find in more than one place, Jesus making the decision to cross over the Sea of Galilee, presumably so that he could teach away from the crowds that seemed to only want physical cures.
“Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side. And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head” (vs. 18-20)
In a time when most were illiterate and few could even write, Scribes held an important position. Scribes had knowledge of the law and could draft legal documents (contracts for marriage, divorce, loans, inheritance, mortgages, the sale of land, and the like). Every village had at least one scribe, and we can surmise that scribes enjoyed a certain degree of wealth due to the need of their services.
Jesus lived a very simple life, traveling about teaching the people of his plan for salvation, a life that was not glamorous and one without financial compensation. Jesus didn’t tell the man “No, you can’t follow Me.” But He told him the truth, without painting a glamorized version of what it was like to follow Him. This is the opposite of techniques used by many evangelists today, but Jesus wanted the man to know what it would really be like.
“And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” (vs. 21-22)
“Actually, this man did not ask for permission to dig a grave for his deceased father. He wanted to remain in his father’s house and care for him until the father died. This was obviously an indefinite period, which could drag on and on. This man was another of His disciples; yet he did not follow Jesus as he should have, nor as the 12 disciples did. This shows us that the term disciples has a somewhat broad meaning in the Gospel of Matthew, and must be understood in its context. The man wanted to follow Jesus, but not just yet. He knew it was good and that he should do it, but he felt there was a good reason why he could not do it now.” (Guzik)
“The excuse that this disciple made, to defer an immediate attendance on Christ (v. 21); "Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Before I come to be a close and constant follower of thee, let me be allowed to perform this last office of respect to my father; and in the mean time, let it suffice to be a hearer of thee now and then, when I can spare time." His father (some think) was now sick, or dying, or dead; others think, he was only aged, and not likely in a course of nature, to continue long; and he desired leave to attend upon him in his sickness, at his death, and to his grave, and then he would be at Christ's service. This seemed a reasonable request, and yet it was not right. He had not the zeal he should have had for the work, and therefore pleaded this, because it seemed a plausible plea.” (Henry)
“And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him. And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!” (vs. 23-27)
“He does not chide them for disturbing him with their prayers, but for disturbing themselves with their fears.” (Henry)
Here we have three great lessons in discipleship. The scribe would have been accustomed to receiving remuneration for his services, a disciple of Christ in those days as well as today must be prepared for hardship. Scribes such as this man enjoyed a certain degree of celebrity, an important man in the community who provided a service that was often needed. Disciples seldom gain celebrity, and the ones that do, frequently experience a downfall. Jesus said; “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” (Mt. 6:24) Jesus knew that this man would find it difficult to leave that which he was used to and to take up the cross and follow him.
The second lesson involves a disciple—a follower but not of the 12—who would have Jesus wait on him, until the man’s father had died and his affairs settled. Jesus knew his time on Earth was short, his appointment with destiny was just months away, but this man expected Jesus to wait for him.
We have to remember that at this point in his ministry, even the 12 seemed to think that when he established the Kingdom of God, they would enjoy high ranking positions in his administration. So many failed to realize that Jesus was speaking of a spiritual kingdom, a heavenly kingdom, and not a worldly political subdivision. Although Matthew does not make this point clear, we might surmise that this man wanted to be part of what he erroneously perceived to be a glorious worldly kingdom that rivaled that of King David’s era. Whatever the case may be in this man’s situation, when we consider the rebuke Jesus gave him “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” We can learn of another great cost in discipleship, the need to serve Jesus versus the need to serve our own agenda.
Finally we come to the third lesson. “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” We, as disciples of Christ, must always have faith, even in the face of danger.
Matthew Henry wrote: “His disciples followed him; the twelve kept close to him, when others staid behind upon the terra firma, where there was sure footing. Note, They, and they only, will be found the true disciples of Christ, that are willing to go to sea with him, to follow him into dangers and difficulties. Many would be content to go the land-way to heaven, that will rather stand still, or go back, than venture upon a dangerous sea; but those that would rest with Christ hereafter must follow him now wherever he leads them, into a ship or into a prison, as well as into a palace.”
Benediction
Almighty and most merciful God, grant that by the indwelling of your Holy Spirit we may be enlightened and strengthened for your service; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Thought for the Day:
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity.
Benjamin Franklin
2024.05.14 04:32 Bishop-Boomer Bible Studies From The Daily Office Tuesday May 14, 2024
The Collect
O God, the King of glory, you have exalted your only Son Jesus Christ with great triumph to your kingdom in heaven: Do not leave us comfortless, but send us your Holy Spirit to strengthen us, and exalt us to that place where our Savior Christ has gone before; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
Readings:
Psalm 97; 99; 100 Reading I Samuel 16:1–13a
Gospel: Matthew 8:18–27
18 Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side.
19 And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest
20 And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head
21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
22 But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
23 And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him.
24 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.
25 And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.
26 And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.
27 But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!
Commentary:
Our study for today encompasses a collection of seemingly unrelated passages, but when viewed as a whole we find a great lesson in the cost of discipleship; not only for those who made up the first century church but for us today as well.
Although the verses recommended for this day begin with verse 18, by looking back at the rest of the chapter we find information which establishes the scene and gives us context for our understanding. Rather than to take a single verse at its face value, we must always look at the preceding verses as well as those that follow so as to thoroughly understand.
Assuming Matthews recollections of the events of chapter 8 are reflective of works of Christ that hapopened on the same day—and not events from throughout his ministry and lumped together here as Matthew wrote this Gospel years after the fact—we could conclude that our Lord had a busy day.
The chapter begins as Jesus is coming down off of the mountain where he preached the Sermon on the Mount, a great multitude of people following his every step, and a leper comes to worship him, he heals the man and tells him, “See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.” Then after entering Capernium a Roman Centurion comes to him asking Jesus to heal his servant. Impressed by the faith of a man who was not a Jew, but a Roman Gentile, Jesus healed the man’s slave by the authority of his word without even going to the slave’s bedside.
Matthew tells us that Jesus continued to heal many that day, beginning with Peter’s mother-in-law, then many others who were sick or possess by demons.
Our Lord had no qualms about healing the sick, but throughout the Gospels we can detect a note of concern on his part in that many were coming to him, apparently for the sole purpose of the healing of physical ailments, and not for the healing of spiritual illness. We find in more than one place, Jesus making the decision to cross over the Sea of Galilee, presumably so that he could teach away from the crowds that seemed to only want physical cures.
“Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side. And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head” (vs. 18-20)
In a time when most were illiterate and few could even write, Scribes held an important position. Scribes had knowledge of the law and could draft legal documents (contracts for marriage, divorce, loans, inheritance, mortgages, the sale of land, and the like). Every village had at least one scribe, and we can surmise that scribes enjoyed a certain degree of wealth due to the need of their services.
Jesus lived a very simple life, traveling about teaching the people of his plan for salvation, a life that was not glamorous and one without financial compensation. Jesus didn’t tell the man “No, you can’t follow Me.” But He told him the truth, without painting a glamorized version of what it was like to follow Him. This is the opposite of techniques used by many evangelists today, but Jesus wanted the man to know what it would really be like.
“And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” (vs. 21-22)
“Actually, this man did not ask for permission to dig a grave for his deceased father. He wanted to remain in his father’s house and care for him until the father died. This was obviously an indefinite period, which could drag on and on. This man was another of His disciples; yet he did not follow Jesus as he should have, nor as the 12 disciples did. This shows us that the term disciples has a somewhat broad meaning in the Gospel of Matthew, and must be understood in its context. The man wanted to follow Jesus, but not just yet. He knew it was good and that he should do it, but he felt there was a good reason why he could not do it now.” (Guzik)
“The excuse that this disciple made, to defer an immediate attendance on Christ (v. 21); "Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Before I come to be a close and constant follower of thee, let me be allowed to perform this last office of respect to my father; and in the mean time, let it suffice to be a hearer of thee now and then, when I can spare time." His father (some think) was now sick, or dying, or dead; others think, he was only aged, and not likely in a course of nature, to continue long; and he desired leave to attend upon him in his sickness, at his death, and to his grave, and then he would be at Christ's service. This seemed a reasonable request, and yet it was not right. He had not the zeal he should have had for the work, and therefore pleaded this, because it seemed a plausible plea.” (Henry)
“And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him. And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!” (vs. 23-27)
“He does not chide them for disturbing him with their prayers, but for disturbing themselves with their fears.” (Henry)
Here we have three great lessons in discipleship. The scribe would have been accustomed to receiving remuneration for his services, a disciple of Christ in those days as well as today must be prepared for hardship. Scribes such as this man enjoyed a certain degree of celebrity, an important man in the community who provided a service that was often needed. Disciples seldom gain celebrity, and the ones that do, frequently experience a downfall. Jesus said; “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” (Mt. 6:24) Jesus knew that this man would find it difficult to leave that which he was used to and to take up the cross and follow him.
The second lesson involves a disciple—a follower but not of the 12—who would have Jesus wait on him, until the man’s father had died and his affairs settled. Jesus knew his time on Earth was short, his appointment with destiny was just months away, but this man expected Jesus to wait for him.
We have to remember that at this point in his ministry, even the 12 seemed to think that when he established the Kingdom of God, they would enjoy high ranking positions in his administration. So many failed to realize that Jesus was speaking of a spiritual kingdom, a heavenly kingdom, and not a worldly political subdivision. Although Matthew does not make this point clear, we might surmise that this man wanted to be part of what he erroneously perceived to be a glorious worldly kingdom that rivaled that of King David’s era. Whatever the case may be in this man’s situation, when we consider the rebuke Jesus gave him “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” We can learn of another great cost in discipleship, the need to serve Jesus versus the need to serve our own agenda.
Finally we come to the third lesson. “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” We, as disciples of Christ, must always have faith, even in the face of danger.
Matthew Henry wrote: “His disciples followed him; the twelve kept close to him, when others staid behind upon the terra firma, where there was sure footing. Note, They, and they only, will be found the true disciples of Christ, that are willing to go to sea with him, to follow him into dangers and difficulties. Many would be content to go the land-way to heaven, that will rather stand still, or go back, than venture upon a dangerous sea; but those that would rest with Christ hereafter must follow him now wherever he leads them, into a ship or into a prison, as well as into a palace.”
Benediction
Almighty and most merciful God, grant that by the indwelling of your Holy Spirit we may be enlightened and strengthened for your service; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Thought for the Day:
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity.
Benjamin Franklin
submitted by Bishop-Boomer to Christianity [link] [comments]
O God, the King of glory, you have exalted your only Son Jesus Christ with great triumph to your kingdom in heaven: Do not leave us comfortless, but send us your Holy Spirit to strengthen us, and exalt us to that place where our Savior Christ has gone before; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
Readings:
Psalm 97; 99; 100 Reading I Samuel 16:1–13a
Gospel: Matthew 8:18–27
18 Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side.
19 And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest
20 And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head
21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
22 But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
23 And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him.
24 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.
25 And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.
26 And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.
27 But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!
Commentary:
Our study for today encompasses a collection of seemingly unrelated passages, but when viewed as a whole we find a great lesson in the cost of discipleship; not only for those who made up the first century church but for us today as well.
Although the verses recommended for this day begin with verse 18, by looking back at the rest of the chapter we find information which establishes the scene and gives us context for our understanding. Rather than to take a single verse at its face value, we must always look at the preceding verses as well as those that follow so as to thoroughly understand.
Assuming Matthews recollections of the events of chapter 8 are reflective of works of Christ that hapopened on the same day—and not events from throughout his ministry and lumped together here as Matthew wrote this Gospel years after the fact—we could conclude that our Lord had a busy day.
The chapter begins as Jesus is coming down off of the mountain where he preached the Sermon on the Mount, a great multitude of people following his every step, and a leper comes to worship him, he heals the man and tells him, “See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.” Then after entering Capernium a Roman Centurion comes to him asking Jesus to heal his servant. Impressed by the faith of a man who was not a Jew, but a Roman Gentile, Jesus healed the man’s slave by the authority of his word without even going to the slave’s bedside.
Matthew tells us that Jesus continued to heal many that day, beginning with Peter’s mother-in-law, then many others who were sick or possess by demons.
Our Lord had no qualms about healing the sick, but throughout the Gospels we can detect a note of concern on his part in that many were coming to him, apparently for the sole purpose of the healing of physical ailments, and not for the healing of spiritual illness. We find in more than one place, Jesus making the decision to cross over the Sea of Galilee, presumably so that he could teach away from the crowds that seemed to only want physical cures.
“Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side. And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head” (vs. 18-20)
In a time when most were illiterate and few could even write, Scribes held an important position. Scribes had knowledge of the law and could draft legal documents (contracts for marriage, divorce, loans, inheritance, mortgages, the sale of land, and the like). Every village had at least one scribe, and we can surmise that scribes enjoyed a certain degree of wealth due to the need of their services.
Jesus lived a very simple life, traveling about teaching the people of his plan for salvation, a life that was not glamorous and one without financial compensation. Jesus didn’t tell the man “No, you can’t follow Me.” But He told him the truth, without painting a glamorized version of what it was like to follow Him. This is the opposite of techniques used by many evangelists today, but Jesus wanted the man to know what it would really be like.
“And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” (vs. 21-22)
“Actually, this man did not ask for permission to dig a grave for his deceased father. He wanted to remain in his father’s house and care for him until the father died. This was obviously an indefinite period, which could drag on and on. This man was another of His disciples; yet he did not follow Jesus as he should have, nor as the 12 disciples did. This shows us that the term disciples has a somewhat broad meaning in the Gospel of Matthew, and must be understood in its context. The man wanted to follow Jesus, but not just yet. He knew it was good and that he should do it, but he felt there was a good reason why he could not do it now.” (Guzik)
“The excuse that this disciple made, to defer an immediate attendance on Christ (v. 21); "Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Before I come to be a close and constant follower of thee, let me be allowed to perform this last office of respect to my father; and in the mean time, let it suffice to be a hearer of thee now and then, when I can spare time." His father (some think) was now sick, or dying, or dead; others think, he was only aged, and not likely in a course of nature, to continue long; and he desired leave to attend upon him in his sickness, at his death, and to his grave, and then he would be at Christ's service. This seemed a reasonable request, and yet it was not right. He had not the zeal he should have had for the work, and therefore pleaded this, because it seemed a plausible plea.” (Henry)
“And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him. And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!” (vs. 23-27)
“He does not chide them for disturbing him with their prayers, but for disturbing themselves with their fears.” (Henry)
Here we have three great lessons in discipleship. The scribe would have been accustomed to receiving remuneration for his services, a disciple of Christ in those days as well as today must be prepared for hardship. Scribes such as this man enjoyed a certain degree of celebrity, an important man in the community who provided a service that was often needed. Disciples seldom gain celebrity, and the ones that do, frequently experience a downfall. Jesus said; “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” (Mt. 6:24) Jesus knew that this man would find it difficult to leave that which he was used to and to take up the cross and follow him.
The second lesson involves a disciple—a follower but not of the 12—who would have Jesus wait on him, until the man’s father had died and his affairs settled. Jesus knew his time on Earth was short, his appointment with destiny was just months away, but this man expected Jesus to wait for him.
We have to remember that at this point in his ministry, even the 12 seemed to think that when he established the Kingdom of God, they would enjoy high ranking positions in his administration. So many failed to realize that Jesus was speaking of a spiritual kingdom, a heavenly kingdom, and not a worldly political subdivision. Although Matthew does not make this point clear, we might surmise that this man wanted to be part of what he erroneously perceived to be a glorious worldly kingdom that rivaled that of King David’s era. Whatever the case may be in this man’s situation, when we consider the rebuke Jesus gave him “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” We can learn of another great cost in discipleship, the need to serve Jesus versus the need to serve our own agenda.
Finally we come to the third lesson. “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” We, as disciples of Christ, must always have faith, even in the face of danger.
Matthew Henry wrote: “His disciples followed him; the twelve kept close to him, when others staid behind upon the terra firma, where there was sure footing. Note, They, and they only, will be found the true disciples of Christ, that are willing to go to sea with him, to follow him into dangers and difficulties. Many would be content to go the land-way to heaven, that will rather stand still, or go back, than venture upon a dangerous sea; but those that would rest with Christ hereafter must follow him now wherever he leads them, into a ship or into a prison, as well as into a palace.”
Benediction
Almighty and most merciful God, grant that by the indwelling of your Holy Spirit we may be enlightened and strengthened for your service; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Thought for the Day:
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity.
Benjamin Franklin