As a huge Jaws fan I've studied a lot about Jaws along with studying the actors and actresses from Jaws...and what you are about to read is based on a 14 year research study based on Susan Backlinie.
Susan Backlinie...the first actress to play the first Victim in Jaws who became the ultimate scream queen was in a few other things than we thought. First off lets start off with some facts, She was a swimmer who was skilled enough to play a mermaid at the ''Weeki Wachee Springs State Park'' in 1965 to 1966...until afterwards she went into acting and did some dangerous stunt work in the present of dangerous animals like Lions, Cheetahs, cougars, and grizzly bears, But also Susan did some modeling for magazines like penthouse and Mayfair and she would appear in some magazines from Asia.
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Without most people knowing it she used one of her bears that she owned for sound designer ''Ben Burtt,'' to record the noises from the bear in order to create the Chewbacca growling sounds for star wars. And because Susan was also an animal trainer this gave her the opportunity to be on the set on Blade Runner 1982 with an ostrich.
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And here is a few other things you may not know...she was in an episode of the 70s ''The incredible hulk'' including one episode of ''The Fall Guy'' from the early 80s, And she starred as one of the swimming divers within a musical scene from ''The Great Muppet Caper'' which was part of the Muppet franchise. She also worked on Men in black 2 although you don't see her within the movie but you hear her voice within the background saying ''Newton...Newton is that you? ''...''would you like some mini pizza?''...also hear her talking to Agent K in the background and quote said ''Are you one of newton's friends from group therapy?''.
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Susan made a cameo scene for a movie ''Two Minute Warning 1976'' which is about a crazed sniper is set to kill spectators at an L.A. Coliseum football championship game and the police race against time to eliminate him, during one scene we see Susan within the Coliseum on a screen of her posing for the cameras but what we did not see from Susan within the movie is that she took her top off which revealed that she was braless...and she showed her bare chest to the audience buy trying to put on a show for them...we don't know if this was her being herself or if this was a deleted scene but photos were taken when this happened that made it to magazines at the time.
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Let's talk about her Iconic scene from Jaws...the death of her character was such a shock to the audience it made the audience spread false rumor's by people saying that she actually died during the scene but we know that did not happen...and people pointed out that when she screamed ''It Hurts'' it made the viewers believe that she was in real pain although we are not 100% certain if she was or wasn't in real pain during the scene...rumors say it was just part of the act that she did so darn well and within the documentaries of this movie they mentioned that she did practice before the scene by putting water at the back of her throat without swallowing and trying to scream at the same time...and when she was ready to film the death scene she basically wore a harness with cables while in the water and the crew on the shoreline didn't tell her when she would be yanked back and forth so that her terrified reactions from the jolting would be genuine...and because her reactions looked genuine this is what made the viewers spread false rumors about her during the death scene...but also the death scene encouraged hundreds of thousands or possibly millions of people at the time to not swim in the waters which is something that still happens till this day for people who just watched Jaws for the first time...and in my opinion when Susan was around she deserved a medal for this because she possibly saved many lives by encouraging people to not swim in deep waters where there would be risks...this is what makes Susan one of the most or greatest scream queen of all time because not only she's just a scream queen but a hero.
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2 years later after 'Jaws' she once again put back on her scream queen mode in another movie called ''Day of the Animals 1977'' but this time she wasn't eaten by a shark but this time getting attacked by a real cougar within an intense scene which she survived from that moment until later on within the movie she was killed off by these real huge eagles where she was getting eaten and dragged off by a cliff by these eagles where we see her scream to the top of her lungs then die, And another 2 years after that in 1979 she put on another decent performance from another movie directed by Steven Spielberg called ''1941'' which was a spoof of world war 2 and within this movie she recreated her iconic jaws moment that was a parody of Jaws...after that she had done 4 more roles then there was an announcement that Susan had retired from stunt work in 1982 which finished her off being in movies and shows but mind you she showed up in little projects after that like being in Documentaries based on movies she starred in and that little moment in men in black 2 where we only hear her voice. So yeah if you wanna share these stories to other people then please go ahead because Susan truly is a legend.
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As I've managed to collect tons of rare photos of Susan over the years and I'll share one photo that I have for you guys which you can see below...I'm sure she's now in a paradise looking something like this or better. RIP Susan Backlinie
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list of Susan Backlinie's known roles

• The Fall Guy 1982
• Catalina C-Lab 1982
• The Great Muppet Caper 1981
• ''Steven Spielberg's 1941'' 1979
• Quark 1978
• Day Of The Animals 1977
• A stranger in my forest 1976
• Two Minute Warning 1976
• The Quest 1976
• The Grizzly & the Treasure 1975
• JAWS 1975
• Men In Black 2'' 2002
• The Incredible Hulk 1978 -1982
• Blade Runner 1982

Introduction

Hello and welcome to another Minion guide! We have seen some very big changes to our boney boys and I wanted to try and help Necromancers new and old have a deeper understanding moving into Season 4. As a forewarning, I would like to state that I am not an absolute authority on all things Minions nor do I know beyond a reasonable doubt that anything posted in this guide is 100% accurate. However, I will try to be as concise and forthcoming as possible with reliable sources and materials.

Minion Changes

• Skirmisher Upgrade 2: No cooldown on the empowered critical strike or damage.
  • Still not worth using over Reapers.
• Reaper Upgrade 1: Special attacks now reduce an active cooldown by 3 seconds.
• Defenders Upgrade 1: Every 6 seconds your Skeletal Defenders taunt nearby enemies.
  • This made thorns warriors viable!
• Defenders Upgrade 2: Now reduce damage by 99%
  • There isn't really a use case for this unless pits is smoking our army and it shouldn't be.
• Shadow Mages: Attacks now Pierce!
  • Something I have wanted for a long time.
• Shadow Mage Upgrade 1: 3%[x] Universal damage multiplier for every Shadow Mage active.
  • Up to 18%[x] with all 6 total Shadow Mages.
• Shadow Mage Upgrade 2: Now fires on every 3rd attack instead of 4th.
  • Amazing dps increase for a mage focused build.
• Bone Mage Upgrade 1: Bone Mages now cast Bone Splinters or Bone Spear every 6th time they attack.
  • Coupled with extra attack temper and extra projectiles tempers this isn't a bad option and opens up some interesting build paths.
  • Abilities cast by your Bone Mages act as if they were cast by the player.
  • Can trigger Lucky Hit Chance, Deathless Visage, Overpower, etc.
• Blood Golem Upgrade 1: 15% Damage Reduction > 30% Damage Reduction.
  • A massive singular source of DR in a now DR limited world.
• Bone Golem Upgrade 1: Now spawns 5 corpses when using the active.
  • Great synergy for builds that need to activate Flesh Eater.
• Bone Golem Upgrade 2: Every 3 seconds upon taking damage your Bone Golem deals 123.2% x [Weapon Damage] and applies vulnerable to surrounding enemies for 4 seconds.
  • Great if you are vulnerable starved as a thorns necromancer. Not much purpose or use outside of this as Iron Golem is better.
• Iron Golem Upgrade 1: Casts a shockwave dealing 154% x [Weapon Damage] after every 2 attacks.
  • The best Golem choice unless the Blood Golem multiplier is needed to one shot bosses after potential nerfs.
• Iron Golem Upgrade 2: Pulled enemies are now also vulnerable.

Minion Skill Damage

Skeletal Warrior

• Skirmisher: 18.2% "30%[x]"
• Defender: 18.2%
• Reaper: 50.4%
• Warrior Count: 5 - 8

Skeletal Mage

• Shadow: 51.6%
• Cold: 51.6%
• Bone: 78%
• Mage Count: 3 - 6

Golem

• Bone: 76.7% (Passive 123.2%)
• Blood: 76.7% (Active: 140%)
• Iron: 76.7% (Active: 200%) [Upgrade 1: 154%]
• Golem Count: 1

Attack Speed

Cap 1

• Andariel's Visage: 15%[+]
• Aspect of Moonrise: 4-20%[+]
• Assault Elixir: 4-20%[+]
• Artillery Shrine: 100%[+]
• Cult Leader "Puppeteer + Magic Nodes": 10%[+]
• Paragon: 5%[+] "Flesh Eater - Culler"
• Attack Speed (Gear): 11-81%[+] "Lowest to Highest roll from one item"
• Minion Attack Speed (Gear): 20%[+] "Possibly Higher with Greater Affix"
• Kalan's Edict: 3%[+] "Per active minion up to 45%[+]"
• Hulking Monstrosity Paragon: 25%[+]
• Bone Golem Sacrifice: 10%[+]

Cap 2

• Rapid Aspect: 15-30%[+] "Basic Only - Does not help minions."
• Aspect of Rathma's Chosen: 50-100%[+]
• Aspect of Frenzied Dead: 30-45%[+]
• Enhanced Reap: 30%[+]
• Accelerating Aspect: 10-25%[+]

Caps Explained
Attack speed has two seperate caps as of testing in season 3. Cap 1 can go up to 100% and Cap 2 can go up to 100%. This means a player can reach a technical total attack speed limit of 200% hard cap. While we do not as of yet know the attacks per second break points from attack speed we are working to decipher its mysteries. Involving minions, what does this mean for you? Cult Leader is supposed to cap at 100% attack speed or a damage bonus of 150%[x]. During the PTR this was bugged and surpassing the cap allowed for additional damage gains. It is "as of yet" unknown if this will be fixed moving into the start of Season 4. If you are only looking to reach the max damage potential of Cult Leader, stop at 100% from either Cap or a mixture of them both. If you are trying to increase your attacks per second, take each cap to 100% for a total of 200%.

Stat Inheritance

This one is rather easy now. Minions receive 100% of the Necromancers stats! Gone are the bygone days of calculating 30% of a given stat!

Lucky Hit Chance

Minions have no Lucky Hit Chance. Any effect that they do trigger that says it is a Lucky Hit is in fact an "bug?" interaction of that skill or ability procing off of direct damage.

Aspects

Almost all Aspects on gear are working as intended with the exception of a select few. I will try to get confirmation about these and update as new information is available.

• Aspect of the Damned: Not working as of Season 3 / PTR. "Possibly fixed at season start."
• Conceited Aspect: Not working as of Season 3 / PTR. "Probably Intended, Minions don't get barriers"
• Aspect of Grasping Veins: Critical Chance working, Critical Strike Damage not working. "Possibly fixed at season start."
• Edgemaster's Aspect: Not working as of Season 3 / PTR. "Probably Intended"

Skills / Paragon / Glyphs

Some skills, paragon, and glyphs are less useful now that our Minions gain 100% of our stats. Season 4 testing is required to determine base values for Armor, Resistance, and Base Life values of each minion type. So far it is only known that each minion has its own separate base life value. "Tested by Seetod and Bactyrael hitting each other's minions for a long time." With this in mind, you may or may not need the added bonuses from the following. (See Bone Golem Note Thorns Users!)

• Skill - Death's Defense: 4-12%[+] Armor and 8-24%[+] All Resistance to Minions. "With the new Armor cap of 9230 and resistances usually being over capped, this seems worthless for us now." (See Bone Golem Note!)
• Glyph - Mage: 35%[+] All Resistance to Minions. "184%[+] Mage damage is worth it in some contexts over another multiplier."
• Glyph - Warrior: 30%[+] Armor to Minions. "Basically never worth taking in any context" (See Bone Golem Note!)
• Paragon Nodes- Minion Armor: Requires testing but it is assumed Minions will receive the new cap of 9230 and no long need these paragon nodes. (See Bone Golem Note!)
• Paragon Nodes - Minion All Resistance: Requires testing but it is assumed Minions will receive our Resistances at 100% value and as such be capped.

Damage, Attack Speed, Maximum Life, and Damage Reduction all seem like worthwhile investments and will most likely be required to push into higher levels of the Pit. A lot of this section is unknown territory and in an attempt to not steer you down the wrong path, I would suggest testing your own mileage from these investments. I will do my best to update this segment as new information becomes available.

Suggestions / Notes / Opinions

• Bone "Thorns from Armor" Golem: Armor increases from Death's Defense, Paragon, and Glyphs, (with the Exception of Total Armor%[+] while golem is active from Hulking Monstrosity) all seem to increase the Armor and in effect thorns that the bone golem receives. Further testing is required when Season 4 launches to confirm this.
• Minions Inherit Thorns: Whether we are taking the generic, warriors, mages, or golem temper from the Thorns Army temper manual. It is assumed but not yet confirmed that this is an additive bucket that increases the total thorns from the player to Minion/s. I did not get the manual during the PTR to test so I will update this section if needed when S4 begins. Thorns the Golem gains from Armor should be separate from the value this bonus gives.
• Kalan's Edict: As you can see from the Attack Speed segment, It is almost never in our best interest to take this Keystone. Blighted Aspect along with Gloom, Terror, Shadowblight, and Apothic Aspect are all net damage boons to almost every Minion build. I personally believe it should be changed to provide unique functionality such as a Mendeln type effect or act as an actual keystone instead of a stat stick. My Suggestion "easy solution" to the developers would be to make this give 7%[+] Attack Speed per active minion for a total of 105%[+] at 15 minions which is the most we are able to have out at one time. This would allow us to ignore attack speed rolls on gear and max out Cap 1 at 100% from our army.
• Aspect of Frenzied Dead: Great aspect, super nice being able to buff up Cap 2. Please make it 50%[+] instead of 45%[+]. You have made it so we can't reach the 100% cap 2 breakpoint by 10% while using a two hander and stop us from reaching 100% by putting this aspect on an amulet for 70%[+] and Enhanced Reap for the remaining 30%[+]. Overall this is really a quality of life change I would like to see addressed. Outside of this we are required to fill that remaining 2-10%[+] with Accelerating Aspect or Rathma's Chosen. Which is a serious over investment in stats.
• Unyielding Commander's Aspect: It is getting harder and harder to justify taking AotD or this aspect. Minions are incredibly resilient with 100% of our stats and there are plenty of instances where bone storm provides more value. I think it isn't as much a fault with this Aspect as with Army of the Dead being the worst ultimate for our class and one of the worst in the game.
• Skirmishers: They don't really have a place in a build path for us as of right now. Perhaps a crit variant will come along that competes with reapers far superior skill damage and utility? They are currently good to stack Kalan's or would be good in a Shadowblight Minion hybrid build if reapers didn't trigger more procs with their AOE and special attacks. My suggestion to the developers is to simply increase their base skill damage to either be equal to Reapers at 50% or greater than this. They should also have access to Area of Effect damage. Minions can not focus fire a target, so it feels redundant to willing choose a single target only variation when AoE choices exist.
• Bone Mages: The novelty of them killing themselves has been lost on me after a beta and 3 seasons. And because Bone Spear / Splinters deals substantially less damage than Shadow Mages, they are an inferior option. We will have to see how the meta evolves over time. Currently I wish they would remove the Emo factor.
• Ring of Mendeln: There just isn't a feasible way to scale this super well. With mages and even warriors able to hit higher numbers, it will take a serious nerf to bring this back up as a viable option.
• Deathspeaker's Pendant: Blood in general is in a bad place this season. I probably wouldn't use this but it is one of our most creative uniques. Haven't seen the damage potential but I think other amulet options or stats on an amulet will replace the want to run this. I think this should be turned into a unique focus so that it can pair well with running doombringer. And we won't be fighting between banished lord's and this.
• Mage Glyph: The Mage Glyph is now not worth taking over any other multiplier with additive damage attached such as the Amplify or Control Glyph. Previously it was one of the only ways to get additive damage for our mages at 100% value besides vulnerable damage. Now that we have 100% scaling, it is an inferior option. Once again I suggest taking the Amplify or Control Glyph for Additive Damage%[+] and a 10%[x] multiplier over this glyph. I would also like to note that minions are now resistance capped at the same time we are, we do not need the 35%[+] Minion All Resistance from the Glyph. My suggestion to the development team would be to change the bonus to a multiplier such as was done with the Golem Glyph.
• Warrior Glyph: Just like the Mage Glyph the Warrior Glyph is in the same boat of providing too little stats for too little pay off in comparison to the Essence or Exploit glyph. And just as before we no longer need the 30%[+] Minion Armor. My suggestion to the development team would be to change the bonus to a multiplier such as was done with the Golem Glyph.

Builds

Minion Leveling (1 - 100) - Seetod

• https://maxroll.gg/d4/plannema6ms0xb#1

Shadow Summoner (Endgame) - Seetod

• https://maxroll.gg/d4/plannet46pg0wv#5

Thorn Golem (Endgame) - Bactyrael

• https://maxroll.gg/d4/planne89930wc4#1
• After each Taunt, use Corpse Tendril and Corpse Explosion to enable multipliers.

Credits / Special Thanks

• GMS Seetod: Skill Damage, Aspects, Attack Speed Caps, Bug Finding, Putting up with me.
• GMS Team: A group of awesome players who are helping make Diablo 4 as great of an ARPG as we want it to become!
• MacroBioBoi: Shout out to our Boi for all of his hard work and communication with the development team. A lot of what we do would mean nothing without a voice and awareness. Thank you!
• Sanctuary Discord: A lot of awesome people who challenge us to find and improve our metrics of testing and approach issues from a new light.
• Bactyrael: Hey that's me! Thank you for reading this far.

Conclusion

If you would like to have your build added to the Builds section or have a specific build you want to see, please DM me. If you have any questions regarding Minions, I will try to do my best to address it. Happy hunting and good luck in Season 4!

Rant incoming.
I’m 25 weeks tomorrow and I’ve been feeling extremely powerful, regular movements from my baby boy for weeks now. The last few days they’ve been weak as hell and I hardly felt him at all today.
At my last OB appt, she said if I don’t feel him moving that I should go into L&D at my delivering hospital. The problem is I just don’t know when it becomes an issue. Obviously as a first time mom it scares me to death.
My fiance and I were sitting on the couch watching tv and I said I was worried about him, why isn’t he moving? It’s not normal for him. And what does he say?
“Shhh calm down”
I’m sorry what?
Calm down? I’m trying to lean on you for support and guidance and your first response is to tell me to quiet down and calm down 🙂
Anyway now I’m pissed as fuck in the bedroom alone fuming 😤
I’m glad I’m the only one concerned about our child?? Ugh.
Anyway, since I’ve been laying here he’s given me a few good kicks. This shit is stressful!

WTF is going on with people? I've never had an issue like this before.
I had 10 matches in a row where a teammate quit (as in left the match) basically after the very first wipe.
I am just completely stunned, I cannot believe that every single one of my placements had a quitter.. I didn't even think that was possible.
This is my first season back since rank reset and I go from Diamond 3 to Silver 1 due to this?
I thought quitting had harsher penalties, but it seems like it's 100x worse than it ever was.
Also, what is going on in Silver? How am I supposed to get any wins with teammates that play like this? I play support and get 10-15K heals, 5-10k damage and usually about 25-30 elims and 5-10 deaths.
Yet my teammates are pulling like 2k damage as DPS and going 2 and 10.. so your performance has no impact on anything with ranking up it's all just win to move up?

It is a man, old and scraggy. He wears a jacket that lays over the red plaid button shirt and blue jeans. He wears an old baseball cap and a pair of glasses. He yelled something to Dad, holding his hands up like he was pleading, although we couldn’t hear it over the truck engine. They talked, but we couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Hey, what are they saying”, I asked, while petting Matt’s hair, calming him. The old man then put his hands down and came close to Dad in a cautious way. They seem to start having some kind of conversation.
“I don’t really know, hopefully, something good”, Mom answered. They talked for a little while, with daylight beginning to disappear, giving us a sense of dread, and making me more worried about what weird creature was going to show up. Eventually, the old man turned and pointed toward what I think is the northeast. They then shook hands and walked back to their respective vehicles. “What’s going on”, Mom asked as Dad got into the truck.
“Well, our new friend here invited us to dinner at his farm”, Dad replied.
“Does he have supplies?”
“Well, he says has supplies for us to make the journey.”
“Should we even trust him? We just met h-”
“Relax, he’s just an old man, living alone at his farm, feeding his cows. What could go wrong”, Dad countered. The old man then entered the truck that was running and drove slowly, expecting us to follow him.
“Alrighty then, but we have to be cautious”, Mom said, with her suspicions of the old man. We then followed the old truck along the dark, frozen road. It just feels like something is going to show up along the road, but nothing happened. Matt did eventually stop crying, but he is still upset about the Joe escape thing.
“Where are we going”, Matt lamented, with the prior series of events in mind.
“I guess somebody is offering us dinner”, I answered.
“Why can’t we just go home?”
“It’s only going to be a stop, like a hotel. After that, we go to our new home, I guess”, I said, taking another look at Matt and cradling to comfort him. “It’s going to be okay.” I stared out into the darkness. I looked to the sky from the window and I faintly saw something in the clear, dark sky, lit up by the waning moon. They were brilliant, green auroras that defy the bright moon, dancing across the sky like ribbons in the wind. The truck eventually took a right-hand turn into another road, with us following suit. I can see a bright, orange light emerging from a patch of tree. When we passed by, it seemed it was a house, at a farm, burning in a massive flame.
“I guess those people aren’t so, uh, lucky”, Dad said, taking a quick look at it before looking at the road. Passing by, we went on and continued to follow the old man’s truck. We passed onto another intersection until he turned into a driveway to what I believe to be his farm. Going into the driveway, I can see an old house, along with a dilapidated farm further away, barely visible by the headlights. The old man parked by the house, where there were a few other trucks there. We parked alongside the truck and we got out into the cold, near-silent night.
“Welcome to sanctuary, where all are welcome”, the old man bellowed. This is the first time I’ve heard his voice. Matt was the last to get out of the truck, slowly and clumsily climbing out of the truck.
“What’s your name”, my Mom politely asked the old man.
“Oh, I guess your husband didn’t tell ya. My name is Steven, but you can call me Steve”, the old man said, with some crackling in his voice. “I am very proud to host a dinner for you and your family”, he continued. “What’s your name, ma’am?”
“Oh, my name is Janice”, Mom replied, quite pleased at his politeness.
“Hello, Janice, and what are their names”, Steven asked, pointing to me and Matt.
“That’s my daughter Kate and my son Matt”, Dad said to Mom.
“Oh, what wonderful names for a couple of beautiful children you have”, Steve grinned. “Come, it is dangerous out here.” We followed him to the house, which looked like it had seen better days. He entered through the double-set door, the first a solid door and a screen door behind. Entering the house, it smelled like what you’d expect, old man. Looking onto the floor is made of glossy wood and walls with cracks, likely caused by the earthquake. It is dark in there, lit by candlelight from many candles, yet it’s fairly warm here. I don’t know why we went into the house, but Dad was right, Steve is just a lonely, old man. Matter of fact, there seems to be nothing wrong here, other than the cracks in the walls. “Sorry, the power went out. Had to resort to the candles. I knew my wife would come in handy”, Steve explained as he took his coat off. “Oh, supper will be ready right away. Had to use the fireplace to cook. Also, can you take your boots off?” We took our boots and set them aside. We went into what seemed to be a living room, with dusty old-style furniture.
“So, where do we sit”, Mom asked.
“Oh, well, follow me”, Steve commanded, leading us to the dining room, with a long, wooden table and six wooden chairs, along with their corresponding old-fashioned plates, glasses and cutlery, lit up in the candlelight. We noticed that everything on the table was covered in a thin veil of dust. “My apologies, the recent shocks dropped a bit of dust on the table”, he explained as he noticed us looking at the plates and moved into another room nearby. “Take your seats if you like.” We all settled onto the chairs, and blew off our plates of the dust settled there.
“When will we eat”, Matt impatiently said.
“Once Steve comes out with the food”, Mom answered. Matt sat there with a tired look on his face. Dad seemed to be in a better mood than before and it looked like he wanted to start a conversation.
“Hey, should we talk about something”, Dad asked. I then see Steve with a bowl and a silver plate.
“Here we go, may not be much, but at least it’ll fulfil the soul”, Steve said, smiling when he served us mashed potatoes and meatloaf. “So, shall we pray?” That came unexpectedly, as we are not too religious, but we were in his house and gave us shelter and food.
“Sure, we can do that”, Mom said and we all bowed our heads and put our hands together. Steve cleared his throat
“Thank you, Lord, for this good food to feed the soul in these hard times. I shall pray, in the name of the Lord and Jesus Christ, that these hard times shall be over, so we can get on with our lives. Amen.” We raised our heads and grabbed whatever food there was onto our plates. “Oh, there’s no gravy, so we have to deal with bare potaters and meatloaf.”
“Oh, not to worry. Thank you for the food”, Dad thanked Steve. We began to eat the food once we got it sorted.
“So, what brings you here”, Steve asked.
“Well, there is an evacuation order in effect for this area, so we had to go to Regina”, Dad explained, with Steve taking in every word. “So, we came from Strasbourg, we tried going south towards Regina, but we hit an obstacle in the way and we had to take another route, leading us here.”
“And we encountered a few odd things along the way”, Mom added.
“Huh, interesting. What do you guys think is going on”, Steve inquired.
“By the things we saw, we have no idea. Dinosaurs, devil dogs, hell pigs, the whole deal. I shouldn’t forget the earthquake. They told us a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake”, Dad clarified to Steve.
“Hmm… is that so”, Steve wondered. “Wonder what I think is happening? The Rapture is happening. Do you know how the Bible tells us of the end times? Good people sent to be with God and his kingdom, the rest here to suffer the Hell unleashed by Satan.” By this point, he was beginning to rant, but we couldn't stop it as we all began to feel tired and powerless. “So, the Devil will send his demons in the form of these illusions so that they can torment the sinners. It is happening, it is-” Steve manically continued as I drew towards blackness and his voice becoming less coherent. My vision is now all black.
I saw those same lights, but more rapidly than before. I then emerged onto the same clear sky, but something felt different. I can smell something in the air. I can smell what seems to be chemicals in the air. Looking down, I was terrified. Dark, grey rock in the shape of ropes and folds, similar to those I saw of lava flows on a volcano in pictures. This went on as far as the eye could see. I can see no tree this time, just the cooled lava everywhere. I then walked, feeling every bump and crag. I thought I walked forever until I heard a rumbling sound and woke up.
I am in total darkness. It is cold and it smells like cow manure. I tried to move my hand, but it seemed to be bonded behind my back by a rope. I tried to move my feet, but they were also bound by rope to the legs I tried to speak, only to realise my mouth was agape by a cloth in my mouth. I heard shuffling nearby but I could not see. It was then shone in light when Steve entered the door, holding a candle, revealing all of us in the same situation. I then can see what we are in. We are in that same wooden dilapidated barn we saw earlier and seems to be more damaged than the house, wood creaking can be heard.
“These sedatives are more effective than I thought. Maybe I should use them more often”, Steve smoothly explained, like he’s some kind of agent and began pacing. “Wonder why you are here? Well, I wondered the same thing to myself, why didn’t God take me to his heaven? When I first heard of the government telling us of those evacuation plans, I thought it was that, a leaking pipe. I began to notice things I couldn’t believe myself, at least at first. Earthquakes, weird creatures showing up, people disappearing, the whole spiel. I connected the dots. The Rapture is happening, for sure, but why me? Why was I the one left here on this Earth”, Steve calmly ranted, pacing around the barn, but it seemed to sound crazier and angrier the more he paced. “I thought I had lost my way. I’ve been unfaithful to God and his son. But, I realised that God always has a plan and he left me on this Earth to serve a purpose. I wondered what my purpose was until I had a moment.” He then stopped in place and calmed down. He turned to look at Mom with accusing yet crazed eyes.
“I’m supposed to keep the sinners here in line, to earn a place in God’s kingdom, or suffer in Hell. I know you are a sweet woman, Janice, but your treachery with Satan is over and I am going to do what’s right.” Mom then looked at all of us, with assuring eyes like that of an innocent yet caring mother we all know knew. I began crying and trying to speak through the cloth, but I was helpless to watch by. “Forgive me, Father, for what I am going to do.” He then pulled a knife from his pocket and plunged it into Mom’s neck with no mercy. I looked away once he did that, trembling, with tears pouring out and my vision glazed and I fell limp. I could see my brother tearing up, but he did not look away. I can hear Dad behind me, with his screams of agony and anger covered by the cloth. It felt like I was in slow motion, taking in every moment.
I then heard the chair, screeching as Steve dragged the chair containing Mom’s lifeless body towards the door, leaving behind a trail of blood. I couldn’t bear to see my mother like this. I shut my eyes very hard and hoped it would go away. The door then shut, leaving us alone with a candle, fearing what would come next. I stared at the candle, seeing it dance in the flames like a woman dancing in the darkness. Is this how it’ll end, I thought. End up dying to this sick man? My Mom was killed in front of me. I sobbed with that thought, then I began to think about the inevitable death of me. I hope there’s something after I die. Maybe I’ll see Mom again.
It was silent for a while, nearly no sound other than our moans. Dad seems to be fidgeting at the back of his chair, rocking it slowly. Looking past him, I shuddered at the glistening pool of blood, where Mom was last alive, could be my fate. I then see Dad release his arms from the back of the chair and remove the cloth from his mouth. He silently stood up and bent down to untie his legs from the chair legs. He then went to me and removed my cloth.
“H-h-how did you do that”, I silently wept, fearing that Steve would show up at the door and kill us all.
“My binding is loose. The old man probably took a liking to me”, Dad whispered. “I should remove your binds.” He untied them, releasing me, doing the same for Matt. “Now, we need to be quiet.” We then walked, quietly, along the painfully creaking wood in the near dark, following the blood trail, glistening in the candlelight. We cringed and dreaded each sound we made and watched the door in case it began to creak open. A few silent steps later, we made it to the door and we slowly opened it so as not to make any noise. What was revealed to us is nothing new, other than the blood trail continuing in the snow directing towards the back of the barn. “Okay, Kate, Matt, you guys run to the truck.”
“What about you”, I sobbed.
“Don’t worry about me”, Dad responded, giving me his keys and forcing them into my hand. “If I’m not back in a few minutes, leave. Don’t look back, take care of your brother, okay? I love you, no matter what happens.” He then kissed me on the head and ran to follow the blood trail. We quickly walked towards the black truck, stranded there for maybe hours. Getting closer, freedom is getting closer. When we got to a fair distance to the truck, I heard footsteps behind me and, the next thing I knew, I was knocked over to the ground into the hard snow on my face. A hand turned me over to give me a glimpse of a crazed Steve, his eyes wilder than before.
“Oh, yes, trying to escape”, he bragged. I looked at him, frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights and he caressed my face with his bloodied blade. “You do have a pretty face, but I’m afraid you are just one of Satan's creations, made to pull me to lust.” He then raised his knife in the air when a familiar side emerged, out of the blue.
Joe came and bit him in the arm that was holding the knife. Steve screamed in agony the moment he realised what happened. He shook Joe off and stood up to stand his ground. I stood up as Joe hissed and walked around the crazed being he wounded, not in fear but in aggressiveness. “Is this one of your pets, demon”, Steve screamed as Joe came in for another attack, but Steve countered that with a slash to the snout. Joe then ran away, whining, into the darkness. This sequence of events gave me the chance to enter the truck on the driver’s side. I had some trouble starting it, besides this is my first time driving a truck.
Steve menacelily walked towards the when Dad came barreling and tackled him to the ground. Dad was on top when he went limp. I finally put the keys in the engine turned it on and backed out, with memory serving me the instructions on such a vehicle. Steve pushed Dad’s body and stood up, but by that time, we left the farm.
“Turn back, we have to get Dad”, Matt cried, but I was very emotional, accepting what happened. I felt that, without my parents, I feel… useless.
“Dad’s dead”, I screamed at Matt and he began gagging uncontrollably in tears. I began to feel sorry for him. “Sorry, I, I don’t know.”
“It’s okay”, Matt sniffled. “I guess Mom and Dad are dead anyways.” It was silence for a few more minutes, tears welling in our eyes.
“Hey, our parents are in a better place”, I said, trying to make the situation positive.
“But we are stuck here, without them? Don’t we deserve to go to a better place?”
“Don’t say that”, I huffed and I paused for a bit. “I know we are in the, uh, right place now. Let me tell you something, once we get to Regina, I will take care of you, no matter what life throws at us.”
“What about Joe”, Matt asked.
“He’ll be fine. He probably found his girlfriend already.”
“Hey, don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“I, uh, I don’t have one. That I know of”, I spoke, bringing me back to Sam, remembering that she’s the only friend that I ever knew, and I left her. Without her, I felt alone, no one would ever relate. I began to tear up. “I don’t have any friends. I am alone,” I sobbed.
“What do you mean? I’m your brother!” I looked at Matt, and smiled, happy that he acknowledged that we were in this together.
“Thank you”, I thanked him. I slowly stopped on the road, just to hug Matt hard, crying my eyes out. We then heard what sounded like an elephant in front of us. We looked up to see a walking snow-covered brown fur wall with four pillar-like legs in front of us. Its curved tusks gleaned in the light and the eyes reflected in the light. The furry trunk waved around like a searching snake from a tree. We both knew what it was.
“Hey, look at that, a woolly mammoth”, Matt said, excitement running through him. At this point, we weren’t surprised.
“Yep, that is a woolly mammoth”, I added. The mammoth turned to us on the road, seemingly confused about where it was. It looked at our truck and seemed to growl, like an elephant. We are starting to realise this thing is becoming aggressive.
“Uh, should we move”, Matt asked. I remembered hearing something about standing your ground in case of an encounter with an elephant. I hoped it would work for a bigger, furrier version of one.
“No, we have to stand our ground.”
“But, it’ll attack u-”
“Trust me!” I then honked my horn and it backed up. It then rushed, then stopped, a mock charge. Eventually, it moved out of the road, disappearing into the darkness. We sighed in relief.
“That was close”, Matt sighed. I then continued to drive in the night, headlights leading the way. The road is bumpy, as noticed by every ditch and peak we hit, but surprisingly, Matt was fast asleep. I began to get comfortable driving and used to the road by that point. It was silent for a while until we hit a smaller intersection. That is when the truck shut down, completely and stopped. I tried the gas many times but with no effect. There is no light, nothing. It is near-darkness here, shone only by the moonlight.
“Shit”, I yelled, desperate to turn the truck on without much success. Matt woke up, confused.
“What happened”, he yawned.
“The truck turned itself off. I can’t get it back on”, I fretted and at that moment, Matt was just as panicked as I am.
“Why?”
“I-I don’t know. One moment, we were driving, another it just-”, I quavered, when I heard something rustle in the distance. We stood still, hoping whatever it was didn’t find us. I looked around, hoping to see something in the moonlight. I then see a long, walking animal. It looked like some sort of alligator at first, except for a dinosaur-like head. Once I strained my eyes to the darkness, my fear levels rose as I could see it walk on its hind limbs, with its forelimbs dangling nearly touching the ground.
It was wandering around on the road when I heard a near-crocodilian growl at Matt’s side of the truck. Another of those creatures appeared, seemingly looking into the window like a hungry bear, giving us a chance to see its scaly head. Its exposed alligator teeth gleaned in the light like knives, but more terrifying was the eye. Its serpentine pupil shone brilliantly in the light like eyes in the dark. It then ducked down, gave a hiss, and moved towards the other one. A few more showed up and formed a group.
“What should we do”, Matt asked. “Should we stay?” I looked around, hoping for another way to escape them without them noticing. I further strained my eyes and mentally mapped out the area. There is a cemetery on my right-hand side, a grain bin storage yard on my left and a series of trailers on the other side of the highway, which is ahead of us, from the storage area. There, I see a series of white, storage buildings, something we can go to and wait it out inside.
“Okay, so slowly open the door”, I instructed Matt. The click of the doors opening cringed us. We looked at the group, but there was no response from them. We then, as slowly as we could, opened the door and stepped out. Still no response. Matt then quietly ran to the other side, towards me. “Okay, we are going into the storage yard and go to the other entrance”, I said, pointing to the other right-hand corner. I wanted to get as far away from these things as possible before making a safe crossing. “Then, we cross the highway on the other side, run into the buildings and stay there for the night. Are you ready?”
“I guess”, he whispered, looking at me in fearful doubt.
“We are going to do this”, I whispered back. We then silently ran over, having to rely on our night-adapted eyes, to the corner, walking past the bins. We made it and nothing behind us so far. “We’re good so far.” We then crossed the road and noticed nothing. We noticed a tanker truck, leaking some sort of fluid across the road. I easily recognized it as fuel, based on its distinctive, sickly smell. I wouldn’t be worried about it if it weren’t for a collapsed light pole that is somehow still flickering with electricity near the area where the fuel would be flowing. We quickly avoided the fluid when I froze to see the group of the walking alligators, running towards us. “Run!” Matt tried to run, but one of those things appeared and clamped its jaws at the back of his neck. He yelped in pain and it took him down to the ground. “Matt”, I yelled, helplessly watching as the creature tore into him.
Matt reached out his arm before the others came to him, then a flash of fire came. At this point, I knew what happened, but I couldn’t even think before it exploded. It blew me towards the building, far away. I was knocked out for a few seconds before I regained consciousness, groaning in pain on the ice. I noticed something especially painful just below my chest. I reached towards the area with my hand. I pressed on it, more painful than ever and raised my hand, only to see blood, brightened by the fire. I realised I was wounded, maybe by shrapnel made by the explosion.
I looked toward where the truck was and all I saw was a blaze. Those things weren’t there, at least. I also noticed something else, too, there’s no Matt. I tried to look around for something, some sort of sign of my brother within the fire, but I saw none. I then wept, realising I had failed. I have failed to keep him safe. I have failed to give him a better life. I failed him as a sister. I could’ve done better. The thoughts poured in as tears glazed my eyes. At that moment, I failed to look around me.
I noticed a dark thing beside the blaze. I thought it was Matt, preparing to greet him back, even though I knew he couldn’t survive the explosion. The image became clearer and clearer as I noticed it was one of the walking crocs that, glazed by the fire, was coming towards me.
“Just kill me”, I screamed, preparing to painfully die to meet my maker. The creature was about to attack me when something large, silent as the wind, came charging and clamped down its massive jaws, filled with conical teeth on the hapless creature and raised it. The crocodile struggled before going limp with a crunch within its strong jaws. The big, dark and scaly monster that it is towered over me and is as long as a bus, possibly longer. Its large legs are a contradiction to its small arms that hide beneath its scarred, bulky body.
It turned to look at me with an oddly bird-like expression, revealing in the firelight numerous scars from battles I could never know and looked at me with its beady bird-like eyes, breathing out wisps from its nostrils like a dragon in the cool air. I recognized it as a creature I know too well, a T. Rex. I breathed heavily and sickly, looking at the thing, nearly expecting me to drop the body and go after me. Instead, it simply walked away, carrying its bloody prize with it, and steadily retreated into the darkness.
I then lay down in agonizing exhaustion on my back, thinking of the next step of action like I'm on a suicide mission I would never come back from. I looked in the direction of the graveyard and had one thought. I guess I am dying. a graveyard will do. I struggled to stand up, noticing my blood-soaked clothes and felt a broken left leg. I grasped my wound, limping step by step and enduring the sharp pain while shaking in the cold. Every step I took, I remembered all the memories, good or bad, that I had with my parents. My brother. My friends. My family. I eventually reached the cemetery and slouched at a tree.
“Guess I’m joining you, guys”, I said, speaking to the snow-covered gravestones, only to hear something. A familiar sound of chirping emerged and, lit by the blaze, it was a sight I can hope for. “Joe, what are you doing here”, I depressingly cheered as Joe went to me and curled up in my lap as if he were a cat. I noticed the new-found scar he had on his little snout, but I paid no mind as I petted him. “I guess you came back. Thank you so much for what you did”, I thanked him, not expecting such a loyal creature would be with me, comforting me, to the end, like what my mother used to do when I was a newborn. I heard another noise, this time a deep rumble.
I thought it was another earthquake coming, but it got louder the closer it got to me, becoming more animalistic only felt small vibrations I barely felt. Joe stayed put, oddly enough, as T. Rex, different from the first one, came. It walked towards us until it stopped short of us. It began to produce a low-pitched, bird-like purring, attracting Joe. I realised something, that this T. Rex is Joe’s parent. He joined the rest like him, whom they showed up and all chirped around.
The grown Rex then brought its snout closer to me, not to kill me, but to look at me. It did not reveal its teeth and was still purring. I put my hand out and its nose came close to it. It rubbed it against my hand and started to pet its cold, scaly skin as it breathed through its nose and put it on my chest. I rested my head on it before it pulled away. It gave out a hiss, but I knew it wasn’t that of a threat, but more of a thank you for bringing its small, sometimes immature, child home.
That gave me relief, as it felt like I at least did something for once. They walked away, along with Joe, towards the darkness amongst the gravestones in the cemetery. I glimpsed one last desperate look at Joe before walking beside his parent. I looked up at the sky and I could see all the stars, twinkling, and the dancing green auroras. I began to feel limp and felt the cold embrace of death coming over me, tears pouring out of my eyes. The sky then grew brighter and brighter, the stars faded into the light and I could see my family welcoming me to a new home. It then slowly went black, darker than a cave.
You would think this is the end of me. It wasn’t, or else I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I eventually woke up in a hospital in Regina. I was told I was rescued by a team that transported me while I was in a coma. The doctors said I was very lucky to be alive, as the shrapnel narrowly avoided my vital organs. After that, I was adopted into a new family, but I was only with them for a couple of years before finding a new job and moving out.
As for Sam, I don’t know what happened to her. I would like to think she is safe, somewhere else. As for my family, I think of them all the time. I was in a depressive period right after that. Eventually, over the years, I accepted that they were gone and went to a better place. For Joe, I would like to think he is all grown up, like his parents, and becoming the king of the jungle. I hope we meet again.
As for the evacuated area, it wasn’t some pipeline rupture that caused an evaluation, but an anomaly, with the exact reason not known. There are excuses for the claims of weird stuff going on in there, from disease to chemicals, to eventually a previously unknown geological event, but I saw through it all.
You may ask how, it's because I've been there. Take it or leave it, this is the story I have. As the decade came by, cover-ups were made to hide it, even walls were put around it. Since the incident, the exclusion zone grew from a mere 80 kilometers in diameter to 460 kilometers in diameter, emptying entire cities of the likes of Regina and Saskatoon. I had to move to North Battleford, by the recommendation from the same government covering it up, making me think that time will tell before the floodgates of truth open.
The anomaly didn’t have a name initially, however, over the years, everyone agreed on one name in particular: The Saskatchewan Anomaly.

Two years ago my rapist was found guilty of second degree rape in St. Mary's County, MD. Little did I know, that the neat end to my tragedy would hardly be over.
Sentencing, is the act in which the judge determines the punishment of the convicted felon. Usually felons are taken into custody and the time they spend in jail will later be considered part of whatever jail time they are issued. For me? The Judge allowed the man to have a ankle monitor until sentencing and rest at home. How did he spend his time? Well, he showed up to the soccer games I would've been at (luckily abroad at the time) and he got picked up at a party he lied about attending and was then held in jail until sentencing.
The sentencing happened nearly two months after the trial--but no one told me. The State's Attorney contacted me and informed me I had to drop everything to rush to the court to give my statement. I went first and because I was not prepared--didn't say half of what I wanted and wasn't nearly as eloquent as I wanted to be.
Afterwards, the judge allowed the Defense attorney to comment on my mental health because I had a therapist and then asked if I had ever been sexually assaulted before. Yes, this is not trial--he was already guilty--but the judge allowed me to be crossed anyway at the sentencing. Thankfully the States Attorney objected to that line of questioning and I got to listen to all his supporters sum my rapist up: He's good at soccer, he translates for the community, and he never raped them--so how bad was he really? And my rapist? Well, since he was found guilty he found god, saw he had an alcohol problem, and realized he would never get the life he wanted. Apologized to the judge, his parents, and supporters. Oh yea, and me!
The Judge deliberated and despite the Maryland minimum guidelines being 5 to 10 years--she gave him 18 months and included whatever time he already spent in jail. 10 months later, he was out reoffending against young girls. By the time the warrant went out, he knew he was done for and took his life in the parking lot by my apartment complex--did I mention he only spent three months out of jail and most of it was spent in my apartment complex with his significant other?
Thankfully, a corner apartment, locked doors, and a big, big dog made me feel a lot safer. Remember to get therapy! My therapist was crucial in my mental recovery. But to be honest, his death was the most freeing aspect of it all.
I'll never see him at the soccer field. Never see him turning the corner of a store. Never see his distinctive car flying across an intersection.
But it's never over. The uninformed from soccer mourned his suicide; I didn't have the heart to say he was a convicted rapist who raped me. His obituary was glowing--a loving, helpful, generous community man taken too young.
Then the judicial election. 1.5 years later I am still being dragged into this. When there was a question of the judge's competency in going so far below minimum guidelines for someone who immediately reoffended potentially multiple people/times--the judge's response was a mass text saying I was older than the victim, I had previously been consensual, and I was hiding it from my boyfriend.
??? I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative. After all, my boyfriend was my biggest support in all of it--I just didn't want him listening to me describe my rape? Also, last I checked a large portion of rapes are from former consensual relationships that don't take closed doors as an option.
Regardless, I wrote an Op-ed, connected with the Maryland Crime Victim's Resource Center to coordinate a release...and...nothing. No one wants to post it. I got one response that they claimed they researched for 7 hours but took only a quote on how disappointed I was about the outcome.
Why? Because politics are running behind the scenes. This judge was appointed by former governor Hogan who is running for Maryland senator and his daughter recently took post in the State Attorney's office.
Is my outcome common or to be expected? I guess not. But the next time you tell a rape victim go ahead and report your crime--this is what they get. Silenced.
That being said? Even with tape over my mouth and my hands tied behind my back, I don't regret a goddamn thing--except that I wasn't more vocal sooner.
Nevertheless, persist my friends.

Before submitting a comment about an issue, the #1 thing any user should do when they first experience issues with a new update is to follow these troubleshooting steps.

If issues still persist despite the efforts made in this thread, report the issue to cricut.

⭐⭐Print then Cut users⭐⭐
Calibrate your machine right after an update as your calibration settings will not carry over into the latest update. Follow the advice of the calibration guide. Then do a test print then cut of your project using plain printer paper.
If for some reason after calibration your cuts are still inaccurate, clear cache (the troubleshooting guide above this) and try calibration again.

If you are experiencing issues despite clearing cache, please give some background information:

• Cricut machine (Joy, Joy Xtra, Explore Air 2, Explore air 3, Maker, Maker 3, etc.).
• Device (Windows 10, Window 11, Mac, iPhone, iPad, Android).
• Type of project you were attempting to do. (Basic cut, print then cut, drawing, foiling, scoring, etc.)
• Were you successful in doing this project in the past? Or is this a new project?

What has changed (Desktop v8.30.64)? Update on May 6, 2024.

Fixed field issues: This release

• The ability to customize the Card project enables users to select specific sizes and personalize them according to their preferences.
  
• After disabling specific contours, the bounding box encloses the remaining ones within the Canvas.
  
• Images not uploading.
  
• Upon selecting, it appears that some of the ‘Make It Now’ projects in the Canvas have disappeared.
  
• Right-clicking and selecting “View image sets” from the Layers panel often displays irrelevant images.
  

Last 6 weeks:
Over the last 6 weeks we've fixed 74 software defects, including the following priority field issues and reliability concerns:

• The ability to customize the Card project enables users to select specific sizes and personalize them according to their preferences.
  
• After disabling specific contours, the bounding box encloses the remaining ones within the Canvas.
  
• Images not uploading.
  
• Upon selecting, it appears that some of the ‘Make It Now’ projects in the Canvas have disappeared.
  
• Right-clicking and selecting “View image sets” from the Layers panel often displays irrelevant images.
  
• Selecting certain fonts in the font selection process is causing delays in rendering on the Canvas
  
• The text box fails to load on the Canvas, and adding a text field in Chinese is not possible
  
• Changes made to the latest project are lost upon sharing.
  

- Draw projects are being opened as cuts instead of drawings, resulting in a color change.
- Save a project on iOS, then open it on desktop, and notice that the changes fail to appear.

• The Canvas tab disappears and it takes longer for the Canvas tab to load.
  
• The saved project only shows letters on the Canvas, but double-tapping the text box reveals the entire sentences.
  
• After finishing cutting the mat that's off-screen, the scrollbar scrolled back to the top instead of moving to the next mat.
  
• My Stuff doesn't show any projects, and the collection is displayed without a name.
  
• Follow button is not working on profile page
  
• Profile links that are copied and pasted shows Blank home page.
  
• Forever stuck on the project details page, with both the customize and make buttons greyed out.
  
• Print Then Cut images appear distorted or the print preview is not accurate
  
• Print Then Cut images did not appear correctly on the cut screen.
  
• The Print Then Cut quality warning message is preventing the user from proceeding to make it.
  
• Clicking "View All" on recent uploads either redirects to the Inspire/Discover page or results in the inability to access the full set of uploaded images.
  
• The Canvas performance drastically slows down when inserting high-quality uploaded images.
  
• The functionality of the automatic background remover has stopped working.
  
• Uploaded high-resolution images, those above 300 DPI, are displaying low-resolution warnings.
  
• When uploading an image with a resolution exceeding 300 DPI, it undergoes downsizing, accompanied by a low-resolution warning message for each uploaded image.
  
• The image icon that regulates the number of images per line remains unresponsive.
  
• The image loses focus when resized, and after hiding contour and resizing, it becomes impossible to move the image upward in the Canvas.
  
• There are performance issues with Warp, as it takes more than a second to enter edit mode and experiences lag when additional characters are entered. Additionally, after completing editing and clicking outside the box, there is a delay.
  
• There's no prompt to confirm unsaved changes, and the previous unsaved Canvas disappears without any notification to replace or save it.
  
• Using the keyboard shortcut cmd + shift + left arrow key to highlight everything results in improper rendering of the highlight.
  
• When opening Image Sets, the images load closely together, and the Image Set name tile appears misplaced, positioned between the top and second row instead of the first row.
  
• When performing combine, subtract, intersect, or exclude operations and attaching them, the color or operations remains unchangeable.
  
• Upon launching the app, users encounter a white screen, a continuous spinner, and a missing refresh token.
  
• Even after power cycling and setting the load to go, the -18 machine connection error continues to persist
  
• When hovering over the mat control multiple times, the mat preview fails to appear.
  
• When toggling the mirror function, the mat selection jumps, causing the left side to scroll back to the top.
  
• Cannot remove images from a collection
  
• Completing the product setup for a second time with a different machine leads to going to the "Get Started" page without setting the correct machine type.
  
• The "Get Started" page on the left rail and the pointer finger suggest that there's a reason to click there.
  
• It's not possible to unlike projects, and an error message stating "unable to remove likes" is displayed.
  
• The bookmark icon fails to switch to "bookmarked" for image sets
  
• The private profile message fails to display, and opening a project link leads to an empty Canvas without the project
  
• The shared profile links are incomplete, leading to the home page instead of directing to the profile
  
• Card Mat - If users attempt to make or customize without selecting a finished size, they will be prompted with the error message, "Select a Finished Size to continue
  
• When adding a photo to the Project details, it's observed that the image is zoomed in excessively, making it impossible to zoom out sufficiently to display the entire photo.
  
• It is not possible to cancel a full-page Print Then Cut project from the Mat Prepare screen.
  

-After completing the cut with Print Then Cut and Basic Cut operations attached, the mat remains unloaded.
-Performing a second search after the initial one yields no results
-Attempting to open a project with numerous sticker groups results in the Canvas displaying a perpetual spinner, rendering the project inaccessible.
-Loading stickers with multi-layered complex projects from project details takes considerable time to customize or make, typically ranging from 5 to 7 minutes.

• The custom border feature fails to function properly with complex shapes and does not create sticker-cut interior shapes combinations as intended.
  
• The Offset function fails to work with intricate PNGs for creating sticker-cut interior shapes combinations, and the Apply button remains disabled, accompanied by a continuous green bar.
  
• When deleting a Warp within a sticker group, the border is not redrawn.
  
• When resizing the sticker image using the Kiss cut & Die-cut Edge option, the image vanishes from the Canvas.
  
• After ungrouping and regrouping the text, the font toolbar is unavailable for the group.
  
• Apostrophes and quotes fail to transform into their left-right variants, causing coded single and double quote marks to appear instead of the anticipated left and right variants.
  
• Text is positioned closer to the bottom right corner, resulting in incorrect text placement after opening a new Canvas and adding new text
  
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So this friend of mine for many years has multiple pets. About 10 years ago I took care of them for a while when I was jobless. However since then she has slacked off on house-cleaning, and increased the number of pets. She currently has 5 cats and a dog.
She doesn't have many friends so if she has to go out of town on a weekend, she will ask if I will pet-sit.
Unfortunately for the last several years, and worse since I had Covid, I've had allergic reactions every time I pet-sit at her house. Originally I felt it was just changing the litter so I told her I could pet-sit but wouldn't clean litter boxes.
I would get flu-like symptoms every time I stayed at her place overnight. Often congestion, but also headache, fever, etc. A couple of times last year it was so bad I was convinced I had caught Covid again, though I tested negative.
So this past weekend she had to leave town suddenly due to a death in her family, and I agreed to pet-sit Friday & Saturday night. No litterboxes to be cleaned, she has automated litterboxes now, that can go for longer between cleanings...
So ... Saturday morning, I wake up with a pounding headache.... It seemed to get slightly better so I went about my day, but it was nagging me the whole day. I had to leave for a few hours as well. I had noticed my heartrate was up higher than normal, but just noted that to the side. I wasn't having any congestion so hadn't realized it was the allergies again. Thought I lucked out.
By late evening I had to cancel my plans, I had a high fever, much higher than normal heartrate, etc. My plans involved a lot of activity and the extra activity pushed my heartrate out of a safe range and I was starting to get lightheaded and feel faint, so I immediately cancelled the plans and went to a family member's house for a few hours. Heartrate went down but was still elevated. I do take a single medication, which lowers my blood pressure and heartrate normally, so having it up is something I watch closely. I connected it to the allergies at this point.
I was feeling a little better, but still lousy, and went back to my friend's house for the second night of pet-sitting. Ended up having chills when I went outside even though the temps were only in the upper 60s. Slept terribly, and basically had no energy all day Sunday. Heartrate was down but still higher than my normal base heart rate. Ended up sleeping most of Sunday. Managed the drive home. Back at my own place, I slept great and felt perfectly normal this morning.
The reaction this time was so strong, that I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell my friend I can't ever stay at her place again. I know part of the issue is she does not keep a clean house, so it smells strongly of her pets. That's never going to change.
Would it be worth trying an allergy medication? I know most of the allergy meds on the market are basically placebos. At this point though it has moved beyond simply congestion to something that actually is a health risk.
Opinions?

I’ve been looking at making the switch from Sony to Fuji for about a year. Had been on the fence for a while, but as I leave military photojournalism and move more towards art rather than operational, I pulled the trigger. Shot a large part of my career on various Nikon cameras (yay contract death grip) went to Sony for personal / work use in 2018 and I have loved it. But the X series and the film simulations have really caught me. Being in this sub and seeing all the amazing shots and just the colors of Fuji in general, finally had me push. Proud new XT5 owner here 🥹. Anyone looking for some Sony gear that was meticulously cleaned and carefully babied? lol

2296, The scene is set in a post apocalyptic Mojave desert, 15 years after a joint effort of the New California Republic, the Rangers, and the mysterious benefactor of the New Vegas Strip, Mr. House pushed back an attempted invasion of the Mojave and a final battle was waved for control of the hydroelectric powerhouse, Hoover Damm.
In the aftermath, Mr. House was removed from power discreetly, due to the actions of a wasteland wanderer on a mission for revenge, known only as the Courier. Mr. House's iconic Lucky 38 casino opened its doors, for the first time, offering a single floor casino and bar, it's upstairs remained an exclusive and mysterious meeting place for the New Vegas Strip's elite. The Lucky 38 represented one of the cleanest, most secure facilities, protected, like the rest of the strip, by the Securitron Mk 2, predominantly. Their presence ensured visitors on the Strip behaved themselves, though the other casinos maintained their own security and 'house rules' internally.
The Strip defined and maintained its status as an independent entity, determining through the Courier's observations that the NCR was stretching it's military might too thin, and couldn't realistically manage over the Strip and Mojave, so a new deal was struck, similar to the prior, but with The Strip extending it's Securitron security to enforce the immediately surrounding communities and a few outlying satelites. Trade to the surrounding areas increased, the Mojave benefitting from the prewar tech, pre-programmed security forces. The drug addicted fiends and other Raider groups would never be any match for their advanced weaponry, and ultimately were cleared out of existence.
The King's continued to watch over Freeside, making alliances with the Follower's of the Apocalypse... their desire to service the needs of the belittled, disadvantaged and destitute lined up, and this is where Mr. Wolf found his place in the story... the Courier and a Follower's doctor found love in the wasteland.... and raised a child together under a Ranger's flag... 23 years later? This is New Vegas...
A handsome man in a leather jacket sat in a dusty leather booth watching one of the girls dance on a pole, shaking her ass as bottle caps clinked on the stage in front of her. It was a swanky post apocalyptic casino strip club. A man in a leather jacket stood nearby, his hands crossed in front of his chest, "Kings" embroidered across the back in silver letters. A waitress approached him carrying a glass of some amber colored liquor, and sat it down at the half moon table. She lingered a moment in her lacey body suit, following his gaze up to the girl rubbing her tits in some older cowboys face.
"You don't get jealous seeing her like that, Mr. Wolf." The girl bit her lip and met his eyes as he picked up his glass and swirled it before giving it a smell and taking a slow swig. He tilted his head looking her over. She couldn't possibly be older then 19. Tight, perky little thing.
Mr. Wolf smirked and shook his head. "I like her... nice and wet when she comes to my bed."
The girl blushed and bit her lip. "So you like to watch?" She surmised.
"I don't mind, but why do you ask?" Wolf had these intense eyes that shot arrows into your very soul. It made her incredibly nervous... but she found it deeply exciting at the same time.
"Well... I'm living in 206 now... maybe... you might stop by sometime and I could dance for you? I know I don't have her body but... if you wanted something that was a little fresher... something... just yours?" She figeted her fingers against the table.
Jason looked her over once more and smirked.
"Two-Oh-six, huh?" He tilted his head, considering.
She nodded.
"Leave your cum soaked panties on my doorknob one of these nights if you really need it and maybe I'll come see if you got the moves." His Texan accent was subdued, but enthrallingly charming with his confident, somewhat bored with reality overtones.
"M-my panties?" She stammered turning bright red. "On your doorknob?" Alexa couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"If you're gunna shoot your shot with a dom... with an alpha... you need to be willing to submit. If you can't do that... I'm not interested." Wolf shrugged, completely unphased.
"But what about... what if..." Alexa glanced at Laura, the clubs most iconic stripper in the club, perhaps even the whole Strip.
She was taking some NCR soldier to the VIP lounge for a private dance.
Alexa had been bold enough to offer herself but now she was feeling nervous. If Laura wanted her out, she could lose her job... her home.
"Oh she won't mind... if anything she'll want to watch." Wolf shook his head, sensing her anxiety.
"Assuming of course... she likes the way you smell... she's funny like that." Wolf let the conversation end and Alexa nervously retreated.
Wolf sat drinking by himself, but got bored.
"Jakey, go get yourself a drink and sit down, I'm bored." Wolf called to his body guard.
Jacob looked over and nodded, giving the lounge one last look around before approaching the bar and getting himself a mug of beer, from the tuxedo shirt and boytie bartender Gerald, and returning to the table.
"What's on your mind boss?" Jacob had his hair slicked back in the usual King's gang hairstyle.
"Heard any rumors lately?" Wold looked at him, taking a drag from his cigarette and flicking the pack over to him.
"Honestly, boss, aside from the occasional drunkard or fiend rolling through freeside, nothing out of the ordinary... well, except... a way's out.. the crazy lady... Gloria was swearing up and down she found a headless metal suit of armor.. said the Enclave would burn down New Vegas. God's wraith and all that, you know how she gets."
"Enclave?" Jason's attention was piqued.
"Yeah, I don't know, she was probably just in withdrawal from the Jet... said she found it in the hollowed out shell of the Super Duper, out by the old highway." Jacob shrugged and drank from his beer and pulled a cigarette from the pack.
Wolf finished the last drag of his own cigarette. "Has anyone validated her claims?"
"Well... no... but... I mean... you've met her, she sees things that aren't there, all the time." Jacob shrugged and lit a cigarette.
Jason squinted, considering the resident crazy ladies most recent half coherent ramblings.
"That's an oddly specific hallucination though....take a group of guys out there tonight... humor me, and make sure she's not right." Wolf lifted his glass.
"Sir?" Jacob raised an eyebrow, thinking surely this could wait until tomorrow.
"Hypothetically" Wolf pondered aloud, "If there was... for some reason, there in-fact was... a pre-war, piece of military tech out there....a T-45, let's say, or T-60, best case scenario? We want it. Even if it's not at 100% capacity? It's fusion core alone... could change up the game for Freeside, something like that could make our tiny little city independent. We wouldn't have to be reliant on the scraps of New Vegas, and forget about the Hoover Dam completely."
Jacob caught Mr. Wolf's drift.. a fusion core could mean producing its own, radiation-free water, it's own electricity.. not just a little, a lot. Powering long dead machines, not to mention the agricultural benefits... producing healthier, higher yield tobacco... expanding their income ten fold.
Jacob suddenly felt like he understood Mr. Wolf's vision for the future.
"I should... go and deploy the King's to investigate." Jacob concluded.
"I think that would be for the best, I can take care of myself here." Wolf waved Jacob off.
Jacob downed his beer and excused himself.
Wolf drank the rest of his whiskey, extinguishing his cigarette.
Laura, the dancer came up to the table, and Wolf motioned to the blushing new waitress for a round, who felt a twinge of jealousy seeing her crush with the most popular stage act in town. She bit her tongue though, bringing over two more heavy pours of whiskey.
Laura eyed the girl as she came and went.
"She likes you." Laura concluded as the waitress walked away.
"Yeah.. I think she does." Mr. Wolf shrugged, flicking her a cigarette.
"The NCR boy liked me." She giggled wiping a little bit of cum from her lips and used half her shot like mouthwash.
"Get anything out of him.. other then.. his seed?" Wolf sighed.
"Of course," She grinned mischievously, "Apparently there's been trouble out West with the Brotherhood. They had some type of skirmish? Apparently NCR lost? NCR was apparently holding some old world tech, I don't know, but apparently it lit up the west coast power grid, like... in it's entirely?" Laura tilted her head to look at him.
"The entire western power grid was lit up by a single piece of tech??" Wolf shook his head at the topless girl beside him.
"Yeah, I had to make him cum twice for more details, but apparently it's the size of a grain of rice, with quote, unlimited energy potential." Laura relayed the information. It seemed more important then a suit of power armor or its fusion core.
"Who else knows about this?" Wolf demanded with his eyebrows squinted against his eyes.
"Anyone with a functional light bulb for... like... three hundred miles?" Laura guessed with a shrug.
"You said... it was the Brotherhood that took the win on the skirmish?" Wolf clarified some details.
"Yeah... rumor has it they have a new up and coming knight that's making waves." Laura shrugged.
"Stay on the rumors... I need details." Mr. Wolf nodded at her, drank his whiskey and stood up, downing his drink.
An energy source that powerful would have a big effect on the balance of power in the Mojave. It could mean a resurrection of the New California Republic to it's former glory and then some, and potentially... might mean a renewed effort to reclaim the western part of the former United States, in time.

This is a long post. I'm sorry, I just don't really know who to talk to about this.
My husband and I got married 9 years ago when we were fairly young (24 years old) and had no money and no place to live. My parents are poor and we knew that any wedding we had would have to be really simple and inexpensive.
I've always wanted a big wedding with all my family and friends there, I wanted to wear a black tulle ball gown, I wanted a sit down dinner with everyone and lots of music and dancing. I made so many concessions for our wedding because of budget and time.
We had planned to get married in July on a day that is really important to us, but nothing was working out. So we ended up changing our date to May of the same year because it seemed like the only way things were going to work out which meant that a bunch of people who'd RSVP'd were unable to come. Most of my husband's family wasn't able to be there which was a huge bummer, and some of my out of town family wasn't able to get time off work or change travel plans.
At the time we were engaged I was sleeping on the floor of my mom's room in a two bedroom apartment that we shared with my two brothers and my dad. There was not enough space for all of us, and I wasn't making enough money to move out on my own. My husband and I both come from very religious families so moving in together before marriage was out of the question. We knew we'd get married eventually so we figured why not now. That way I could get out of the cramped apartment. (Plus there was a lot of stress with my dad, and I was on my way out of my religion which was causing more contention at home). Which is why we moved the date up rather than back.
My mom and my aunts basically DIY'd our whole reception which was AMAZING. We had a short and sweet ceremony on the beach near where we live, and had a short open-house type reception at a community center near by. There was no dinner, no dancing, and it was only a couple of hours long.
I need to preface the rest of this by saying I'm suuuper grateful for the wedding we had! Our families put so much work and effort to make sure we had a nice celebration that was affordable. We had a really fun time celebrating and taking photos during and after the event. I have really fond memories of the day and I love looking through our pictures of the day and remembering how exciting and fun it was.
Now I need to explain where I'm coming from.
Even though the community center worked great for the type of reception we did, it just didn't look that nice and I was pretty bummed out that that's all we could afford.
The food consisted of appetizers and cake. We never ate any food because we were running around saying hi to everyone and thanking them for driving the 1.5 hours to the coast to celebrate with us. The only cake I ate was the tiny slice we cut and then was shoved in my face. We had bought 3 cakes for everyone to eat and the smallest one which was 8" was sent home with us because everyone thought we wanted it for our 1st anniversary. It was a spice cake which cream cheese frosting that we ordered because some of our family really loves spice cake. So it never got communicated that we didnt want to take the whole cake home, but that we wanted our guests to eat it.
The dress was an issue. Like I mentioned before, I really wanted a black tulle ballgown. Everyone one in my family hated the idea and said I would regret wearing black when I saw my wedding photos. (And the photos were the only thing we splurged on so I didn't want to regret those). They also said a ball gown wouldn't make sense for the beach so I should go with something else. My mom and dad wanted me to be modest so I tried to find a dress with short sleeves that would be comfortable to wear in 80° weather on the beach. I was really loving the off the shoulder and sleeveless dresses and at the time they had more details I was looking for. I hated white, and I wanted to go for ivory instead as a compromise but I was told that a bride shouldn't wear anything other than pure white. So I felt super stuck, and ended up feeling super confused and frustrated. I bought a $200 dress online that was pure white, but had tulle cap sleeves. Which was also a house disappointment because I had always wanted to go try on dresses with my mom and grandma and best friend. But because of the timing of the wedding, it wasn't possible and there was nothing we could afford in stores. The dress I bought ended up being too big in the bust and too tight in the hips so we took it for alterations. Seamstress was able to alter the bust so it fit properly, but the hips didn't have enough seam allowance to be taken out at all. So on the day of the wedding I couldn't even sit or go to the bathroom. I will say the dress did look really beautiful and I love my pictures, but everytime I think about it I'm just frustrated that I allowed so much control over what I wore. I wasn't comfortable in the dress or how I looked because I hate wearing whitr and the previously mentioned sitting/bathroom issues.
I had originally wanted my makeup done professionally by a woman I worked weddings with, but when we had to move our date up she had another wedding already booked. So instead I did some lessons with her and did my own makeup the day of.
My family knew about all of the concessions we were making for the wedding and everyone said that in the future we should do a re-do and throw the wedding we wanted originally.
So we planned to do this for our 10 year anniversary which will be next year.
Now, we're in the midst of planning. We've seen so many venues, I've gotten so many quotes for services, and everything is so expensive that my husband is scared off of doing the big wedding I wanted. We've had to cut our guest list, and we're back on track to DIYing a bunch of stuff. The other day we were talking and I felt the way I did when we were getting married originally. Like I'm making all of these concessions for other people and because of money. We've saved money for a while and if we threw the wedding we want, we'd blow through our savings. I'm just feeling frustrated and I don't want to wait another 5 or 10 years to do this. Prices will still be going up and I'm thinking we'll just never be in a place to afford the wedding I had envisioned.
I really wanted this re-do to be a celebration of our relationship as well as a thank you to our friends and family for the support and all the work they did for our wedding. I don't want to ask them for help because I just want them to enjoy the event and not stress. But I'm also feeling conflicted because I want to enjoy the event with my husband rather than running around to make sure things run smoothly. We can't afford a wedding coordinator, DJ, or catering staff, we'll be doing a lot of the work ourselves.
It's looking like we're back to engaged and cutting our guest list as well as DIYing decor and probably running the whole event.
My husband doesn't want to spend $10,000 on the event anymore which is what we had discussed and agreed on. But he also hasn't come up with a new budget and everytime I suggest a number he says no, or says nothing. So I feel stuck. I don't even know where to start looking for a venue. I don't think this is going to happen anymore and I'm feeling really upset. I feel stupid that I care so much about this dumb party, and I feel like an ungrateful brat even though my family hasn't said anything about it and they support the re-do.
I guess I'm just looking for comfort, or perspective. Do I need to reevaluate my feelings on this? Should I just let it go and put the money toward something else like investing or something? I have no idea..

It’s been literally 5 days but the rumination is out of control. For some reason I always have ruminations about this one professor I had over a year ago even on meds. This man has been stuck in my brain ever since I finished that class. On top of that now im having ruminations about how time is moving too fast (im always doing the math between dates that don’t seem that long ago but are and this year), I keep thinking about how I need to get pregnant right this second so I can have optimal time with the child (im 19 wtf), and if I think it’s a mistake ohhh don’t worry ! I can just kill the baby and pretend like it never happened, or omg everything feels like such an obstacle I just need to finish school, I need to move right this second even tho im unemployed and can’t move until next year or else im a failure and im wasting my life and pathetic and too old to be living with my parents. Or that im horrible and need to change my personality to hypomanic me because she’s more bareable and fun to be around. Oh and I can’t handle the subject of death in any aspect or I start losing my mind over how everything and everyone dies, and the idea of subjective experience and how we can’t experience life from the eyes of another person is consuming me horribly.
I fucking hate my brain.
Note: im not voluntarily off meds, I was having an allergic reaction to them and have to wait until next week to discuss my options.
Edit: panic attacks, shitty sleep, and irritability too fun 🥲

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

Title: Mafia Dog
Carissa is in her early 40s. She’s a higher ranking officer in this group.
Jane is in her mid/late 20s.
Note: I believe this series will most likely never be performed. It's a 7-part series that requires either an extensive collab or a VA that can do multiple voices as the same 2 speakers are in every chapter. It varies per chapter as to who has more lines. It also gets loud at times with explosions and gunfire and the like which is not very conducive to ASMR. So, I'm releasing it here without it having been performed. I usually wait until someone performs one of my pieces before I release the script publicly. I hope you enjoy the read.
Info you might want if you do perform it: An Introduction To The Book That Is Me : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
Note: This takes place after an untold horropsychotic yandere story. If any writer wishes to write that story, be my guest. If you notify me, I'll link it here. This series deals with the recovery, recuperation, and care for the rescued victim.
My masterlist: [FF4M] Mafia Dog - Part 1 of 7 [Paramilitary Group] [Rescued Listener] [Severely Wounded Listener] [Concerned Caring Speakers] [Good Boy] : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
(All talk and sfx are muffled until the secrete door is opened.)
(Sound of muffled gunfire is going on in adjacent rooms. Door is opened roughly.)
Carissa: Clear. Damn it, she’s not in here.
(Pause.)
Yes, our informant advised that this is her office. And look, here’s the information we needed about the shipments coming in tomorrow on her desk. At least we ended up with that.
Damn it, damn it, damn it! I really thought we had her this time. Our contact said she was here right now. How could she have gotten away?
(Pause.)
Yeah, I know, Mike. Obviously Kent’s not gonna like this. He was hoping this strike would put down this upstart gang for good. We cleared out the rest of her goons at this location, but if Francine is still alive… well, I don’t want to think about that right now. Jane?
Jane: Yeah, Carissa?
Carissa: Jane, you and Mike take the others and double check every room we’ve already cleared. Look for any clue as to Francine’s whereabouts or plans that we can bring back to Kent.
Jane: You got it. Come on, Mike.
Carissa: Ronnie, you stay here with me. If our intel was right and Francine was here, maybe there’s a secret passageway she used to escape, or maybe there’s something else to discover.
(Some light tapping on walls as they look. Then a tap closer to the listener.)
Carissa: Hey, I think I’ve found something. This wall, right here. There’s something behind it. Now, how to get it open.
(Pause.)
Ronnie, great work.
(Pause.)
Yes, hit that button.
(A door slides open and all is now clear to the listener.)
That did it. There’s a secret opening here that leads to… Oh, my God! Ronnie, come here.
(Pause.)
Hey, are you all right? Can you hear me?
(Pause.)
Ronnie, put that gun down. You’re scaring him.
(Pause.)
Yes, I know Kent’s orders were to eliminate everyone we find, but this is different. He’s obviously not one of them. Look at him. He’s tied and gagged, and it looks like he’s been beaten to within an inch of his life. He’s still got dried blood on him. Whoever he is, he’s not a threat to us and he clearly needs our help.
(Pause.)
Ronnie, besides the fact that what you just said reveals you to be an inhuman prick and should be ignored on its own, you need to consider the fact that he may be some use. At the very least, he may know some things about Francine.
(Pause.)
No, calling you inhuman was not a compliment. Kent’s orders didn’t account for us finding someone like this in here, and I’m going to help him.
(Pause.)
I don’t care if it is easier to put him down. I’m taking him with us. God, what is wrong with you?
(Pause.)
Yes, it will be on my head if he turns out to be one of them.
(To the listener.) Hey, you, look at me. I’m going to remove the gag, ok. I want to talk to you.
(Pause.)
No, no, no. Don’t shake your head. Stop thrashing. We’re here to help. I’m not going to hurt you.
(Pause.)
(To Ronnie.) Ugh. Damn it. He’s scared to death and he’s going to hurt himself further if he keeps this up.
(Pause.)
Yeah, Ronnie, we’ve already established you don’t give a rat’s ass if he kills himself, but just accept that I do and that I’m in charge right now and give me the bag. I’m going to use the sedative on him.
(Pause.)
Of course, I know we brought it for Francine, but she’s not here, now is she?
(To the listener.) Ok, buddy, I’m sorry if the needle stings, but this will relax you while we move you somewhere safe. See you on the other side.
(Time passes.)
Jane: Carissa, come here. He’s waking up.
Carissa: (Whispering softly.) Hey there, big guy. How are you doing?
(Pause.)
(Not angry, but forceful like she knows what she’s doing.) No, no. Stop struggling, ok? STOP!
(Pause.)
(Calm.) Good. That’s very good. You’ve been wounded. You’re in our infirmary and you’re strapped to the bed. Any struggling could possibly cause you serious harm.
Jane: Carissa’s right. At best it will make it so our medical staff have to reconnect your IVs, and you don’t want to make them work any harder than you have to, do you?
It’s ok. We’re here to care for you. Do you understand? We want to help.
(Pause.)
Carissa: Ok, good. Good. Stay calm. Look, I’m being soft and tender, see? Jane will brush your hair with her hand while you and I talk for a bit.
I know you’ve got to be scared out of your mind right now, but if you just stay calm, we’ll do what we can to reassure you that everything’s all right. Ok?
(Pause.)
(Sigh.) Good. Good boy.
Jane: Carissa, I think he likes it when you call him that.
Carissa: (To Jane.) Yeah, I think you’re right.
(To the listener.) You like that? Ok, then. That’s what I’ll call you, ok? Good boy.
Here, now I’ll hold your hand while you lay still. My name is Carissa. That gentleman over by the door is Mike, and I already told you that this is Jane. And you are my good boy.
That’s right. I’m going to take care of you, good boy. I’m not going to let any harm come to you anymore. You’re not in any danger. These two, Mike and Jane, they’re here for you specifically to make sure nobody comes in here to hurt you.
Jane: Carissa’s right. You’re completely safe. You can rest easy while we’re here. Ok? You just rest and recover and leave everything else to us.
Carissa: And I’m going to see to it that I do everything I can to make you feel safe and protected as well. Now, to do that, we need to know a few things about you. The doctor wants you to rest. She’s telling us we can only have a few minutes with you, so we’ll make this quick. Ok?
Jane: You’re being such a good boy right now. I’ll keep running my fingers through your hair while you answer Carissa’s questions, ok?
Carissa: Now, we just need you to confirm a few things. Did Francine do this to you? Was she there in the place where we found you?
(Pause as listener doesn’t want to say anything.)
Jane: It’s ok. You can tell us.
Carissa: You’re afraid, aren’t you? She did this to you and you’re afraid if you tell us anything, she’s going to punish you.
(Pause.)
No, you don’t have to say anything. I’m not trying to frighten you. I want you to feel safe with me. You’re my good boy, remember? I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my good boy.
Here you go. I’ll just stroke your hair gently as well with my other hand. I can see you really like that when Jane does it. Does that make you feel better, good boy?
Jane: It certainly does. You’re being so good.
Carissa: Yes, you are. So, let me ask an easier question. Do you know how long Francine had you there?
(Pause.)
You don’t know? A long time? They picked you up off the street in a blizzard by offering you a warm place to stay.
Jane: My God. It’s summer now so it’s been several months at least. You poor boy.
Carissa: Well, we’ve got you now, ok?
(Softly aside to Jane.) And now we’ve just confirmed that it was Francine who was there and did this to him.
Jane: (Softly to Carissa.) Ooh, clever.
Carissa: Don’t worry, good boy, you are safe with us. You can count on that.
(Aside.) Yes, Ronnie? Kent needs me? Ok, I’ll be right there.
(To the listener.) Ok, good boy. I have to go, but Jane and Mike are going to stay just outside of your room while you get some more sleep, ok?
Jane: And I’ll stay right here beside you until you fall asleep.
Carissa: The doctor will be in periodically to check on you. Her name is Suzanne and she’s very nice, so you don’t have to worry about her. When she comes by, do what she says, ok? She’s only trying to help.
And I’ll be back as soon as I can. You’re safe as long as you’re here. I can see that you’re still very tired. They’ve given you a lot of medication so you don’t feel any pain. You be my good, good boy while I’m gone and everything will be ok.
Here. (Kiss.) Just a kiss on your forehead for my good boy. You sleep now.
Jane: And if you wake up and Carissa’s not here and you’re scared, just let me know and I’ll sit with you too. Ok?
Carissa: Good boy. Get some rest.
(Time passes. Listener wakes up and hears what Carissa’s saying to Kent, but Carissa initially doesn’t notice.)
(To Kent.) No, Kent, what I’m telling you is that he was her dog, only I think she got her kicks out of… well literally kicking him. Did you hear what Suzanne said about his injuries? That bitch Francine is twisted.
(Pause.)
No, he’s been fine since we brought him in. He’s a little scared, but that’s to be expected.
(Pause.)
What? No, you can’t do that to him. He needs protection! I’m not sending him away. I’ll care for him myself if I…
(Pause.)
Oh, I’m sorry, Kent. You weren’t saying get rid of him.
(Pause.)
Yeah, I guess I am a little zealous over this one. You know where you found me twenty years ago. I guess my heart went out to the guy as soon as I saw him. I can empathize with where he’s been.
(Pause.)
Yeah, thank you for understanding, Kent.
(Pause.)
No, you’re absolutely right with that. He’s going to need some special attention for a while.
(Pause.)
Yes, of course. I’ll take full responsibility. Mike and Jane have agreed to help too. I think they feel sorry for him like I do. I promise, I’ll… Oh, hold on, Kent.
(To listener.) Hey there, good boy. You feeling better?
(Pause.)
That’s right. I told you I’d be back as soon as I could.
(To Kent.)
No, Kent, I understand. Go ahead. I’ll stay here with my good boy.
(Pause.)
Yeah, I’ll keep you updated. And thanks, Kent.
(To listener.) Did you sleep well, good boy?
(Pause.)
That’s good to hear. I’m glad you’re feeling better.
(Pause.)
Yes, the straps are still on. This is a new situation and we wanted to make sure you weren’t going to hurt anybody because you got scared, including yourself.
(Pause.)
No. I don’t think you’re violent, but it’s a precaution we take with everybody. Understand? They’ve even had to do it to me a couple times when I’ve been down here injured. I tend to move around a lot when I sleep and I can hurt myself by pulling out everything the doctors have attached.
(Pause.)
(Taken aback.) Wha…? Mistress? No, no. I’m not your mistress.
(Pause.)
Oh, don’t cry. I’m not mad at you for saying that. You’re still my good boy. Here, let me hug you. Does that feel better?
(Pause.)
There, there. You’re ok. I wasn’t mad at you, and I wasn’t rejecting you.
(Pause.)
No, you don’t have to call me… You know what? It’s ok. You can call me mistress for now if it makes you feel better.
(Pause.)
I can tell that it does. You’re more at ease. Ok, I’m your mistress.
(To herself.) I guess that’s something we’re going to have to work on.
(Pause.)
What? Oh, nothing, my good boy. Nothing you have to worry about right now.
Now that you’re awake, Suzanne has some tests she wants to run. Mostly she’s just going to talk to you, show you some lights, that kind of thing. I don’t think any needles are involved this time.
(Pause.)
I know. I hate needles too. So just relax and do what she says. And when she’s done, Mike will come in to keep you company for a while. I have some business to take care of.
(Pause.)
What should you do while I’m gone? Well, you need to make sure that when I come back, everybody tells me what a good boy you’ve been. Ok?
(Pause.)
Yes, Jane will be here in a while too. She’s out right now on an assignment, but she’ll be back.
(Pause.)
Oh, that makes you smile, does it? Well, good. I’m glad she makes you feel better. Ok, so long for now, my good boy. Know that you’re safe.
Part 2 coming.

What do you genuinely think about this?
Let’s just start from the beginning...
I (f28) met my baby daddy (m27) 3 years ago, we started off as co-workers, then turned into friends, and then eventually started hooking up. We never defined our relationship mainly for the fact that he is emotionally closed off. That has always been the biggest problem in our ‘’situationship’’. I kinda had a mental breakdown at that time and quit my job (bc of him – we worked together). I was stupid and immature. Almost had to move back home (another state) bc I was out of a job, no money for rent, etc. So he told me I could move in with him for the time being. Fast forward, I got pregnant the first time. Thought everything would work out for us, was hopeful, however my pregnancy was HELL. He was insensitive, just…awful experience. We used to share a bedroom, his dog used to sleep with us, and during pregnancy the dog hair all over the bed really bothered me, so I asked him to stop putting her on the bed bc my pillow was literally black with dog hair, plus the smell. Oh god. She stank and it drove me insane. He didn’t stop though, he continued to put her under the covers, etc. So I ended up moving into my unborn daughter’s room at 6 months pregnant (its a 2 bedroom apt). After she was born I still stayed in her room... we shared her room until my second baby was born. Now, I sleep in the living room with my 2 month old baby, we both sleep on a mattress on the floor. As time has gone on, I’ve completely given up the idea of having any sort of relationship with him. I do plan on getting back on my feet once they're a little older. Neither pregnancies were planned, we weren’t careful the first time around, but the second time we really just got ''lucky'', but I am so thankful for my kiddos. I love them to death and am willing to give up my life and null myself for the time being. I am in this situation bc I want to be a stay at home mom while they're little. He does give me that luxury, but other than that it’s shit. We get along as friends, but we disagree a lot when it comes to the kids. We do argue A LOT, and we have sex, that's the only reason we even still stand each other, besides the fact that we want to raise our baby and toddler together bc it's what's best for them, having both parents present daily.
I don’t know, sometimes I feel spoiled for wanting to have my own room, for wanting him to give up his room so I can have a calm place to sleep wth the baby with no one walking around, going into the kitchen or whatever. What’s your take on this? I really just want to know about the sleeping situation, bc I don't care for the rest.

I have seen some crossovers with Harry and Kantai Collection, but none of them have made him into a ship girl. The biggest one was Harry and the Shipgirls where he gets to live with a Japanese Battleship and a Abbles Princess as his sister. The close is Harm becomes a shipgirl. Others have him as a leader of something at Most.
This idea is that Lily did something to protect Harry as a child...the thing she did was an old way to summon ship spirits. She summons a ship spirit that combines with him. Somehow she summons the USS Milwaukee, the lead ship of her class from the American civil war.
Tunny not wanting to deal with Harry when she finds him on the doorstep sends him to live with an old family member that was both a wizard and in the US Navy. The year Harry gets his letter to Hogwarts, something happens to cause him to change and become a shipgirl. He gets the letter and somehow the return does not state about his sex change or that he changed his name. Since his guardians know about magic they do not need the teacher to visit. So no visit from Hagrid.
Due to her changes, she is also a very armed warship that someone gets listed as part of the US Navy, though she is a very outdated ship. The magical side of the navy where she does have some use at some point later in her life. The downside is that she now looks about 8 years old since most ships look like they are the age of roughly their weight. Since she was a lightweight back then she did get some bump in age to not look like a 5-year-old.
So on the train, everyone is looking for Harry Potter who should be a boy with dark hair and a scar and glasses. She is not one of those, and her crew offered the Dark Price of Tommy's loaded soul a choice when the change happened. Become part of the crew or get torn up. Well, it decided to join the crew and no longer can take over or deal with the real Riddle.
As she is the last student standing there for the sorting and no one knows who she is she hands Mrs. G the updated paperwork with her new name and everything about her which causes all kinds of chaos that night. She is now a girl and is now named Milwaukee Potter. She is also an A person from the States which causes all kinds of shit later down the road.
It soon comes out that she is a magical creature you could say and her crew hating to Snape. At some point, she asks in his insults if he is asking for War with her crew. He makes an offhand comment about yes....the gloves come off after that as the crew come up with new and fun ways to make his life hell with jokes and actions. Nothing that hurt him, just poke fun at him to hell.
She really does love to cruise the lake over the next few years which leads her to know every inch of the lake though.
Tommy tries to kidnap her to get the stone and gets run through by her guns and crew. She does not care about the challenge of the third level since she has a bunch of crew that keep her from doing dumb things at times.
2nd year, do you want to call the very armed ship a dark lord at all? As for the chamber and fighting the very big snake? Can you say boom from 4 11-inch cannons?
3rd year...Do you think some idiot is going to hurt me? I mean I have very big guns damn it. Besides, Black do you surrender to the US Navy since you did the crimes of trying to harm the ship along with Peter? There is nothing that Fudge can do since he does give up to a different government and the crimes against them are not active.
4th year. So you want me a ship to be in your game as a person from a different country? Things get very nasty when the Navy and government get into the mix, so so gets to be the rep of the US Navy in this whole shit storm. The dragon...no one said how to deal with it.....
The head will look very nice on her wall at home later. The Lake Challenge, She moves on top of the water to the village very quick cine she knows the lake inside and out. She sends some chibi crew as divers to get the people back and all four of them without a fight within 10 minutes.
As for the maze and the graveyard. The death idiots no stand a chance for some extra firepower she can bring to bear with the crew also acting as fire support for snipers.

thiss might be rly weird. 😅
so about a year and a half ago my friend who i had been talking to a lot wanted to get into a qpr (queer platonic relationship) with me since they said they felt like an emotional attachment to me in a platonic way. i had no idea what that was when they first asked me out, so i agreed based on their explanation of what it was like. i also was pretty sure i was in the aromatic asexual spectrum, so i thought it would be nice.
the weird thing was even though i claimed to be acearo, i was still messing around on dating apps. and shortly after the qpr started, i was visiting my friend group in my hometown for a bit. we were discussing dating app stuff with our other friend, and i shared some of my own stories as we talked. i mentioned after my stories that i wasn't using dating apps anymore and i only had one friend making app/quote unquote "dating app" left on my phone. my partnefriend got concerned and asked me what it was. i explained to them it was an app i told them about before. but the way they got defensive about it made me realize that they probably considered me being on dating apps of any sort as cheating.
so, i guess i just didn't know what i was getting into? i thought it was like just a stronger friendship or like best friends plus or something lol,, but my friend/partner seemed to want to do more romantic stuff like use pet names and go on dates and stuff. i said i was okay with that, but i didn't really want to do cuddling with them which i told them when we were establishing rules or boundaries or whatever. they were fine with it, but idk the pet names felt unnatural to me and "dates" felt like just hanging out with a good friend. they send couple memes to me saying it's us, but half the time i don't really agree. sometimes it feels like they think of me as their idea of their 'perfect version' of me or something, and not actually me. i do care about this person, but i cannot see myself doing anything remotely romantic with them, the more i inch towards it. after a few months of trying this, i decided i didn't like this, but i didn't know how to bring it up and now we're nearing one and a half years..
i think i went along with it because i cared about this person. and when we hung out together, it felt like just being with a friend and someone i really cared about. i do care about them a lot, and i very much enjoy their company. we've known each other for forever, and our friendship has gone through quite a lot of ups and downs. and recently i keep thinking of the downs and how we'd get into fights and annoy the shit out of each other. we were celebrating our anniversary with them coming up to where i live, and we had a disagreement at a restaurant that reminded me of those times when we were younger teens. and more recently i just feel hurt with some of the stuff they do/say. maybe remembering our past is making me more sensitive to the negatives, idk atp.
i think i am a person who will easy go along with something, and my friend/partner claimed a few things about me that i never even thought of for myself. i believed when they explained why they thought it. they told me i was autistic and deserved to be on disability because i was "disabled". i am able bodied,, just have some mental illness. when i told my dad, he got super mad because before i started this relationship, i was really good about school and making good grades. i dropped out my classes for a bit after the relationship started. my friend/partner has never showed much interest in school beyond high school and they didn't want a job until more recently when they realized yt and their small business weren't getting much money. i stopped school for a couple semesters just to work, but i plan to go back in next semester– when i told them, they said they were worried it would go bad for me again... and i guess i feel like the relationship is stopping me from doing better in school.
i don't want to say they're a bad influence, i think i am more just easily influenced or tend to mimic people around me... my partnefriend should live their life they want, but i think i also might be mimicking what they do kinda and that might be why my family does think they're a bad influence. and i feel more disconnected to my family when i started talking to my friend/partner more. they told me my dad is a manipulative person, but i don't even want to think that... sometimes i wonder if they said it because they consider their own parents (especially dad) manipulative. and i have met their family, they do seem p shitty even to me, but i don't see my own parents like that... my dad is doing his best i think, and he's good enough at least,, my friend/partner also claimed stuff like gender, gender preference, political views of mine when i never really told them that? most was similar to their own identity, and i honestly don't know what my gendegender preference/political views are specifically, ive never firmly said i was a specific label of any of those, but it still felt weird that they were putting me in this box when i felt uncertain about those things.
i also don't know if i'm really aroace. like i see happy romantic couples, and still want something like that. and i don't know if i can go and find someone like that if im platonically partnered with someone. and at this point i feel like "i didn't know what i was getting into" doesn't work if i try to just end things now,, i also am afraid it'll just go down terribly, and i'll never even get to be acquaintances with this person again. and i feel like our mutual friends will all side with them and i will just lose those friends forever as well. i'll feel even shittier if i try romance and see that i really am aroace and then id just be forever alone with no friends.
my partnefriend also bought tickets to go to a convention in a few months and id feel even shittier to end things poorly before that since they really wanted to go there and cosplay with me. the convention famously doesn't give any refunds too so they can't even get their money back for the tickets.
we're even planning to move out together in 2025, but i don't know if it's still something i want. we've been planning since like 2022 to move out together (it started out as just friends before they asked to be partners) but we keep having to push it further down with financial issues and such, so i don't even know if 2025 is a good year either. i am going through the process of switching my college major, and i feel like that's all ill really have time for soon especially when i start working alongside studying too. (im quite literally switching from an arts related major to something stem related lol.) i want to get my bachelor's and establish a good paying job before moving out. (and probably also work towards my master's) i don't even know if my friend/partner has anything going on in their future career and stuff, and i do not want to have to be financially responsible for them at all. i barely like when they ask me for money. they usually pay me back or pay for some of my stuff in return so it probably balances out, id just rather we each pay for our own things i guess,, or maybe im just being a prick abt it lol.
i just feel like an asshole, and im probably wasting their time by pretending to want to be more than just a standard friend and like everything is going ok on my side. i just don't know what to do. this is kinda my first relationship tbh, and definitely a first for qpr so i don't really have experience on how to end things lol, and i don't know what a good method to do so is.
sorry if this makes no sense, im rambling... but i am in need of advice... mainly, i am just looking for a way to end the relationship. but any other advice is fine, i need it. if im a piece of shit or you want to say something else 'negative' you can tell me that too, i just need honesty on my situation.
tldr; i am in a queer platonic relationship with someone who i saw as a friend. they wanted to be romantic. i did not. we are getting into disagreements. We seem to have different lifestyle choices, and it's getting to the point where i just want to end it. how do i break up with them that won't make things terrible between the two of us?

My ex-fiance (38M), we'll call him John and I (30F) met 8 years ago. We both came into the relationship with kids from previous marriages but did our best to blend our family. I thought I knew what love was before him but he taught me what love really was. You know, that kind of love that when you think about it your heart hurts but in the best way possible. During the few years we were together we had broken up and gotten back together twice, but every time we came back stronger than before. During that time we got engaged, and even though we had our issues we were happy. When we hit our 7 year anniversary I thought this was it. We had made it through deaths of those close to us, medical issues, issues with family and COVID. If we could make it past all of that, past the 7 year itch it we were meant to last.
During those 7 years I had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder on top of my already crippling depression and anxiety, and God bless him for sticking it out with me while I was adjusting to all of those medications. I know I was an absolute mess during that time. But January of 2023 I started having a lot of strange symptoms that caused me to spiral. I eventually made a doctors appt and was referred to Neurology for possible MS. After a negative MRI I was referred to Pulmonology for a sleep study for Narcolepsy which I thought for sure was a waste of time and money, but I'd do whatever I needed to do to find out what the hell was wrong. Everything had caused us to fight more than we had in years and I was ready to get back to our normal. Unfortunately I had to wean myself off of all my medications for the sleep study which was by far the hardest month, but eventually got diagnosed and sure as shit I have Narcolepsy.
My medical team and I decided it best to stay off of my medications until we found a narcoleptic medication that would work. Through all of this I tried my hardest to let him know how I was feeling so we could at least know that there would be light at the end of the tunnel at some point. After months of trying new medications and dealing with the absolutely horrible side effects I found a medicine that seemed to be working. Because it can cause adverse reactions to just about everything, they didn't think that getting back on my other medications would be safe. (I have to check every OTC medicine I take with the manufacture to make sure it won't cause any issues, which I follow religiously since taking an antibiotic sent me to the ER already).
We hit a wall in September and decided therapy would be our last ditch effort to make our relationship work, the fighting had gotten so bad that we didn't know if we could keep going the way we were. We made it 2 sessions in before we had a huge blowout and both said we just needed to call it quits. It took me about a week before it sunk in and then it hit my like a freight train. I went from being sad to spending most of the day in tears and sobbing myself to sleep. During that time he moved into the guest room and I stayed in our bedroom to give us some distance until I could move out. He went on a trip to think and get away while I was in that house reliving every good memory we had had there. After he got back I broke down and begged him to work things out, I knew I loved him and didn't want to think of my life without him. I had gotten to the point that I had planned to end my life because a life without him wasn't one I wanted. So fucking selfish on my part because I'd be leaving my kids without a mom. He kept saying that we couldn't make it work and we just needed to move on. As hard as it was, I tried to accept it and shut myself off emotionally to get through it.
I eventually was able to find an apartment that would keep my kids in their schools and with their friends. My moving date was mid-November and I slowly started packing, getting rid of things I couldn't take with me since I needed to downsize and buying the necessities to start over. The night before my move he told me he wanted to work things out and not to leave. All I remember was being so damn angry that he waited until everything was paid for, rented and packed. As much as I still loved him I knew I needed to leave. We decided that we would try and see if we could work things out living apart, maybe that was what we needed. Some space to just get our heads in order. It didn't last long. I was so angry that he would wait until I was out the door to decide he wanted to work things out. After I had spent weeks begging him to work things out. I just couldn't see past my own anger, I wasn't ready to forgive him.
Around mid-January 2024 we started talking again and even though I knew I wasn't in a good headspace I decided to try and work things out due to his insistence. During that time he re-proposed but I just couldn't feel the same as I did before. I knew that I loved him, through it all I never stopped and said he was the love of my life and would be until the end. Despite that it lasted until the last week of February. I drove to his house with the ring in it's box and told him I just couldn't do it. I knew that I had broken him, but I couldn't see it working. As hard as I tried I couldn't picture us, even my own future. I was just so lost.
A couple of weeks later it clicked that everything I had been going through was my bi-polar rearing it's head, unmedicated and in full force. I was so erratic, going through the worst manics I had experienced, the depression and anxiety had gotten almost unbearable and the thoughts of suicide had gotten so bad that I didn't think I'd make it. I had pushed everyone I loved away and isolated myself from the world. I felt numb inside. Despite the risks I went in and got back on the medication I needed so fucking badly to survive.
During that time John and I started talking and seeing each other. I hadn't told anyone else about getting back on my medications and he had been there when I started them the first time. So who would be better at helping me through it than him? I made it abundantly clear that I wasn't ready for anything. I needed to work on my mental health and get to a good place before I could give to anyone. But if he was still around by the time I was in that good place mentally and he still wanted me, I would be all in. We would set a date and get married. No more dating, being engaged for years again, it would be marriage and till death do we part. Throughout that time he assured me that if he was still around and wasn't seeing anyone by then he would be all in as well. We both loved each other more than anything, I just needed to be ok.
During one of our conversations I told him I was close to being better but I wasn't 100% there yet, but he was the one. When he told me that I didn't need to be perfect, because my mental health would never be perfectly in check. I knew I was well enough that I could say that I was ready to be with the love of my life. I finally started to feel again, like everything I stopped feeling had been held behind a wall and it just came crashing down, flooding me with every last emotion I had suppressed. I told him I was sure and ready to move towards our forever. Once I did it was like a switch had flipped. He said he wasn't sure that I really knew what I wanted and that he needed time to figure things out before he could give me a solid answer. That was almost a month ago. We still talk and see each other but he says he is still trying to figure out if he can be sure that I'm all in.
I refuse to beg him to be with me, I've done it before and won't to do it again. I know I love him more than anything. I still get butterflies when I see him and my heart hurts so damn much when I think about how much I love him. I keep telling myself that he's going through a lot, and needs time and I need to be patient. But part of me feels like he's punishing me for breaking his heart in February. I'm at a loss. I'm hurt that after all of this time and all of those conversations we're in this state of limbo. Do I wait and hope that he eventually figures out whatever he needs to figure out or do I just give him space and cut off the daily communication and hope that one day he'll tell me that he wants to move forward?

Im pretty much at my wits end living paycheck to paycheck and have contacted ACCC about debt and wondering if im taking the right direction. Ive posted before but never with all of my information and im hoping someone with more knowledge can tell me if I should move forward with them, or try settling myself. I am terrified of getting sued as I pay a mortgage with my wife and i have a 2 year old to support.
Capitol one- $9724.88 at 29.2%
Care Credit- $3530.80 at 26.99%
Upstart- $5962.21 at 11.94%
Between my mortgage, daycare, and all other bills im left with about $510 which is just enough for minimum payments. I already live on a strict budget and my wife helps when she can but she has her own credit and vehicle to pay for. ACCC wont help cover my upstart loan and has quoted me at 9% for capitol one and 0% for care credit. Do i take this deal? Everyone always says to use the snowball method but i literally cant and im just not sure where to go from here. Its been the biggest stress ive ever had. This all began with medical and dental bills by the way. Also no one to teach me financial literacy (thanks mom and dad). Can anyone give me some advice?