Empire health insurance cover abortion

hello everyone! I’m debating signing up for health insurance (delta dental premium) or signing up for my local dental office “plan for health.” I have not been to the dentist in a while and have recently had issues that’s causing mild pain and sensitivity that comes and go.
My local office dental plan price is $540 and it comes with:

• 3 hygiene cleanings per year, 1 every 3-4 months
• All periodic, comprehensive and emergency exams included
• Intraoral digital X-rays*
• Fluoride Treatments
• 20% off ALL dental procedures**
• 10% off ALL dental products
• No deductibles
• No yearly maximum on benefits
• No exclusions for elective procedures
• Savings on preventive and restorative care

Furthermore, I done some research into delta premium dental plans and I found the following plan that starts immediately.
This Delta Dental Plan is $41 a month and comes with:
*$50 deductible but you can still receive coverage for preventative and diagnostic services *$2000 maximum for dental care each year *I pay 0% of office visits, exams, cleanings and x-rays *After 6 months I only pay 20% of fillings, teeth removals (simple), teeth whitening, and mouth guards *after 12 months, I only pay 50% of surgical treatments such as tooth removal (surgery), root canals, gum cleanings, implants, crowns, and etc!
Overall, these both seem like good options but I’m torn between the two. I’m trying to identify the best plan/option that can help address my dental concerns early before they cause potential health risks. I appreciate you all for reading my post and look forward to reading your insights!

I turn 23 on May 23rd. People call this phenomenon your golden birthday, yet I feel so conflicted as I reflect my pass and overthink about the future. Ever since I was a kid, I loved celebrating my birthday, but now I'm afraid. The road up ahead seems uncertain and I'm too scared to navigate it. My life is pretty hectic, and to avoid stress eating, I just want this off my chest and forget about it all for a while.
I was involved in a work accident where a kid attacked me a little bit over a year ago. The company's health insurance has stretched out the process for as long as they can, and it's tiring. I'm supposed to get surgery to fix my injury soon, and I honestly wanted it over with before my birthday, sadly that's not the case. I live off of my $900 monthly disability check, almost all of it goes to groceries.
Whilst living paycheck to paycheck, my dad is terminally ill. It's something that's been eating me inside knowing that no medicine nor any amounts of chicken soup will help my dad stay a while longer. He keeps apologizing to me, because he's terrified that I'll be the one to find him when he's gone. It's really taking a toll on me to the point I can't look at old photos of him without crying. I really wish I could do something for him.
My boyfriend is kind, but he's severely depressed. If I don't help him with chores, he'll let everything pile up, I can't keep taking care of both him and my dad at the same time. I feel like I'm running thin. I don't really have any friends, not even online ones. I never went to college, so I only keep in contact with old highschool friends. I really wish I had someone to call a best friend, but I guess it's not in the books right now.
For my birthday, I really wanted to go to a KBBQ/Hotpot restaurant, I've been talking about it non stop since January, but as my family and I struggle to afford groceries/rent, I don't think I'll be able to enjoy my birthday dinner knowing this will come with financial consequences. With no money I wont be able to afford groceries, or my dad's medicine. I can't buy myself a gift, can't go shopping, and I'll probably won't end up buying a cake this year either.
It's just really depressing that this is my life. No friends, no reliable boyfriend, sick dad, workaholic brother, disabled me. The only thing that keeps me going is making sure my dad smiles everyday. I'm really exhausted of it all.
Thank you if you read my rant :) hopefully the future is bright.

My doctor wants to move me up to 5 mg but I can’t get any because of the shortage.
Has anyone been able to get insurance to cover more than one box of the 2.5 mg a month?
I’m currently getting mine through Walgreens with a manufacturer coupon so that I can get it for $25 a month.
It seems like an obvious solution since the FDA says there is no shortage of the 2.5 mg, but we all know that insurance companies can make obvious solutions impossible at times.
I thought it would be worth asking here, though!

Hello all! I’m looking for some recommendations about the next card to add to my travel portfolio. In particular, I’m traveling to 3 countries in Europe late August/early September and would like to cover as much of it on points as I possibly can. Especially hotel rooms as the price of those can add up quickly. Including my credit profile below to help with recommendations.
CREDIT PROFILE

• Current credit cards you are the primary account holder of: Two non-travel cards opened in mid 2019 and April 2023 and a Chase Sapphire Preferred opened January this year with a combined credit limit of $21,500
  
• FICO Scores with source: My experian score about a month ago was 687 but have since seen a large boost in other scores. Transunion and Equifax are both around 760
  
• Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 6 months: 1
  
• Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 12 months: 1 technically (one was late April 2023)
  
• Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 24 months: 2
  
• Annual income $: 75k
  

CATEGORIES

• OK with category-specific cards?: I think so but would prefer not to have an annual fee if it’s category specific
• OK with rotating category cards?: Not preferable
• Estimate average monthly spend in the categories below. Only include what you can pay by credit card.
• Dining $: $200
• Groceries $: $250 of which $50 is spent at Costco and or BJs
• Gas $: Ranges from $80-$250 depending on the month. No more than half would be purchased at Costco or BJs
• Travel $: I don’t spend on travel regularly really. Only when I’m preparing for a trip but I currently set aside about $200/mo to spend on trips when they come up
• Do you plan on using this card abroad for a significant length of time (study abroad, digital nomad, expat, extended travel)?: I’m specifically looking for a card for this week long Europe trip but am looking to try digital nomading later this year so would be nice to choose a card I can use for that and keep long term
• Any other categories (examples: phone/internet, insurance) or stores (example: Amazon) with significant, regular credit card spend (the more you specify, the better): $ My 6 month car insurance payment is coming up and is around $1K. I would love to get the most points/value possible out of this
• Any other significant, regular credit card spend you didn't include above?: I am able to and usually do put $350-$400 of monthly expenses on my card in addition to groceries (parking, internet, etc.)
• Can you pay rent by credit card? If yes, list rent amount and if there's a fee for paying by credit card: $ Technically yes but the fee is around $50 MEMBERSHIPS & SUBSCRIPTIONS (delete lines that don't apply)
  
• Current member of Amazon Prime?: No
  
• Current Verizon postpaid customer?: No
  
• Current member of Costco or Sam's Club? Free Costco Membership and annual BJs membership
  

PURPOSE

• What's the purpose of your next card (choose ONE)?: Travel rewards
• If you answered "travel rewards", do you have a preferred airline and/or hotel chain? Not really. I’ve come to like Hyatt since having the Chase Sapphire Preferred since they have a published chart and a good point valuation but open to others
• Do you have any cards you've been looking at? Thinking about Amex gold, Hilton Honors Surpass, Marriott Bonvoy Boundless and the World of Hyatt card to a lesser extent (the sign up bonus feels kind of low)

Hi, I am not sure if this is the right sub to post this so sorry if I am mistaken.
We recently moved out of our rented townhouse on west edmonton. Here is our timeline:
April 30 - Moved out and had the townhouse inspected by his property manager. Everything went good according to the manager.
May 1 - His new tenants moved in.
May 6 - Asked for an update from the property manager about the new tenant and he said everything went smoothly with no problems. Asked about my security deposit, and he said it is in process.
May 11 - Received an email from the owner stating that there is a problem with the dishwasher. He said he called a plumber to check. And because of this, he will be holding my deposit pending the check.
My question, is this legal/proper? I mean the new tenants were already living in the unit since May 1 so how would we know if they were the ones who broke it?
For context, we were using the dishwasher almost everyday while we were there with no problems. And I am 100% sure it was working when we left. Besides, the owner's appliances were covered with insurance when we were there so it doesn't make sense to not report it broken.
Thank you!

Hi everyone! 😁
I will preface by saying that it took me many years to find my Dentist and there is no way on Earth that I will go to anyone else. My experiences with dentists have been enough to fill up the Reddit servers and make them crash if I even started to touch upon my experiences of blatant lies and essentially, thievery, most notably perpetrated by their hygienists who are quite OBVIOUSLY financially motivated. I have the best dentist on planet Earth and I have no interest in deviating from him.
I have had a Humana PPO for quite a few years and my annual maximum cap is $6,000. The premium is a bit ridiculous at about $75 a month but they have historically have paid for most everything so I didn't really blink TOO much about it. HOWEVER, my Dentist stopped accepting/being "in network" of it at the beginning of the year. Most likely because his office manager is something of an idiot who even stopped the office from using CareCredit. I assume that he's trying to shave down his paperwork.
In any event, after having some work done recently I got a bill from my Dentist's office along with the handwritten note from that dingbat office manager stating that, "you are completely responsible for the entirety of this bill as Humana won't pay for anything".
I called Humana immediately and they told me that they DID pay for two of the charges and were never billed for the others and that they paid precisely what they would have been paying if he was in network but I am responsible for the rest. I wrote the dingbat office manager and told him exactly what they paid and what dates and to submit the remaining bills to Humana. He got all defensive. Knowing full well that I'm deaf and cannot handle speaking on the phone (we've discussed the issue of my having gone deaf from cancer treatment a number of times) he told me that I need to call him to discuss it. I once again reiterated that I am deaf in one ear and cannot utilize the phone well because reverberates. He wouldn't respond there after. THAT is a complaint that I will take up with my dentist when I see him next. My Dentist nor any of the other people around the Dentist like that office manager but the office manager has been there for 18 years so cannot essentially be let go. The point is that he never resolved anything nor submitted the bills to Humana as I requested. I am spitting nails angry about that.
In the interim I decided that I might want to look at other insurance companies that my Dentist DOES participate in. I cannot understand, unless I've actually grown quite old and senile since the last time I tried to read anything, that they mostly say that they pay a maximum of $1,500 to $2,000 per year. That is total, not per occurrence. I know I'm reading something wrong, RIGHT?
Anyway, to avoid being without any insurance at all while I'm busy canceling my Humana plan, I signed up for the BCBS A1 policy. It's capped at $2,000 per year. In February I simply had a cleaning and a couple of teeth refinished/resurfaced as they had minor erosion and the bill was $978. Humana said that they would covering all but $400 some odd dollars of it but only if their office manager actually submits the damn bills to them. It appears that I have to retrieve the bills myself and submit them because it seems that the office manager is quite adamant about excluding my insurance company as well as CareCredit from his list of daily chores. I wish I had some daily chores to do because I have been out of work due to cancer treatment for over 3 years now and I would LOVE to deal with the miniscule burden of what might be a difficult insurance company or the likes of Synchrony Bank's Carecredit for the sake of my employer's devoted patients.
I am trying to figure out if I have made a good decision by going with BCBS's A1 policy. I have read through the various posts here on Reddit and everybody raves about GEHA. Nobody busy raving about GEHA has ever bothered to respond to anybody inquiring about how to get it so I looked it up for myself and found out that you have to be a postal worker or a military retiree so please don't talk about GEHA. While internet searching for insurance, I made the miserable mistake of typing in my personal information with phone number BUT I back spaced out before pressing the "accept" key which allows agents to contact. Even though I never pressed the "accept" button and back spaced out when I realized that I was submitting information for massive lead share, at 8:01 this morning the freaking phone started ringing and by 9:00 I was so pissed off that I could have bitten somebody's head off if they looked at me wrong. One idiot told me that I had to completely revise my entire health care plan because I have an HMO that includes a dental plan even though no dentist within 400 miles of me participate in it and even if they did I am not leaving my dentist. She told me that I had to completely redo my whole plan anyway in order to get coverage with my dentist and that I could not purchase a standalone plan if I kept my health insurance. She was the biggest idiot I encountered all morning telling me that I can be arrested for having a standalone insurance policy for dental. 🙄 Talk about idiots that really shouldn't have jobs 🙄². I researched and found that I absolutely can purchase my own plan but you cannot comingle plans and benefits. Fine by me because there's not a dentist on the planet that accepts HMO that is worth going to. I asked the stupid idiot just why she thinks I've been paying $74 a month for a separate plan to start with FROM the same company that has my Medicare policy to start with and I've not been arrested in all these years nor is there an APB out for me. I finally got pissed off and told her to have a nice day and hung up on her. She had a whiny 1960s sort of commercial voice to start with that was irritating as hell. As you can tell, she put me in a raunchy mood for the whole rest of the day and I apologize to you that it's coming out in my text. Please accept my very sincere apology.
I know that the very second that I would be without insurance that some big horrible thing would happen so I cannot be without.
Please be kind enough to share your experience in researching and procuring standalone dental plans. I've already signed up for BCBS A1 but I have not remitted the first check yet because I haven't gotten the hard policy in the mail. Other contenders would be Aetna and Cigna.
Thank you VERY MUCH! 🌻 I truly appreciate your help! 🌷

Hi Fat Friends,
Using a burner account for obvious reasons. I am trying to get feedback on our budget to see if we are missing any big categories or oveunderestimating some things. I have tried to compare it to our actual expenses from the last two years and the numbers here are a little higher than our actual spending since this has estimated items like Health Insurance, home maintenance, new car, etc. that are either covered by work or annual portion of estimated spend that would only happen once every few years. We are a couple in 50’s who would like to get out of the rat race in 1-5 years based on how the numbers work for us. A little about us:
Two adults (50M and 49F) and 2 kids living in a VHCOL area – One kid has graduated and starting a job this year, and the other is in college and hopefully will be independent in 4 years. Their college expense is not included in this budget. I would like your feedback on a few items:
1. Feedback/Critique our budget – are we missing any major categories? Are we oveunder estimating any costs? Unfortunately with Mint shutting down, I only have access to the last 2 years of detailed actual spend so feedback from other fat friends will be super helpful. I have broken down the spending for a few categories into Base vs. discretionary spending. The idea is that in case of a market downturn, we would shift to Base spending only. I plan to use “Vanguard Dynamic Spending” as a withdrawal strategy when we FIRE
2. Target net Worth - Based on this spend, and given that the mortgage and property Tax does not need to be inflation-adjusted plus the mortgage rolls off in 22 years, how much do you think we need in investable net worth? I do not think we have enough invested NW right now to FIRE and I would like to get feedback from the community on what would be your comfortable number for someone to retire with this budget to see how far we are. I am intentionally not listing our NW to avoid influencing your candid response to this question.
Thanks in advance for your time and feedback!
Here is our projected budget:
Category - Cost (Base) - Cost (Disc)
Mortgage - $69,960.00
Property Tax - $33,000.00
Home Insurance - $4,156.00
Electric + gas - $3,000.00
Water - $2,400.00
Gardner - $2,400.00
Pool Cleaning- $2,000.00
Home Cleaning - $3,000.00(B) - $1,500.00(D)
Home Maintenance (estimate) - $23,000.00
Internet/Phone - $300.00
Groceries - $10,400.00
Dining Out - $10,400.00(B) - $10,000.00(D)
Car Payment (replace every 7 years) - $8,571.43(B) - $8,500.00(D)
Car Maintenance - $1,200.00
Fuel - $2,000.00(B) - $2,000.00(D)
Car Insurance - $4,000.00
Health Insurance - $24,000.00(B) - $10,000.00(D)
Medications - $600.00
Doctor and medical services - $3,000.00
Life Insurance - $2,000.00
Long Term Care Insurance - $2,000.00
Umbrella - $600.00
Clothing - $1,200.00
Other Shopping - $6,000.00
Personal Care (Salon/Hair Cut etc) - $6,000.00(B) - $3,000.00(D)
Travel/Vacation - $30,000.00(B) - $30,000.00(D)
Misc. - $6,000.00
Gifts - $6,000.00(B) - $6,000.00(D)
Entertainment/Parties - $5,000.00(B) - $10,000.00(D)
Hobbies - $6,000.00(B) - $6,000.00(D)
Person 1 Disc - $6,000.00(B) - $6,000.00(D)
Person 2 Disc - $6,000.00(B) - $6,000.00(D)
Total - $290,187.43(Base) - $99,000.00(Disc)
Total Withdrawl (20% Tax) - $348,224.92(Base) - $118,800.00**(Disc)**

Hi all! I'm a 20yo M who's recently come into some money and a new job on an extremely upward trajectory. (Raise + Promotion expected in the next year)
I have 0 personal expenses except my cell phone bill which my company will soon cover. I have comprehensive health and life insurance and my job may require me to move locations or become more mobile in the near future.
Would I be out of my mind financing a 28k car? I have 6k saved up for the down payment and my company gives me preferred pricing for the vehicle so I pay invoice price + 1.5%.
I'd be looking at a 200$ bi-weekly payment + insurance.

For Above Age 35 yrs

• Paid-up home
• Emergency fund of 4 years living expense
• Private Health Insurance 50L + (Consider your current health status here)
• One time expense of kids education or marriage as separate corpus
• FIRE Corpus (considering all of above) = Monthly Expense * 12 * (90 - Current age) * 0.8
• Term Insurance: FIRE Corpus - Current Corpus

Example: If monthly expense is 1.2L - FIRE Corpus = 5.2 Crore (For a 45 years old)
0.8 is the balancing factor since one wont be spending same after age 65+
Real rate of return is assumed to be zero
Highly encourage to have a bottoms-up calculation using the excel posted in this group (also a tutorial is posted as well)

As the title says I'm-- just, tired.
I'm tired of sleeping on a couch, I'm tired of not having a stable job-- I'm tired of not being able to afford good insurance, not being able to go to therapy... Not being able to buy the medications I need to help manage my depression and anxiety, or afford groceries-- I'm tired of living in a country where healthcare is so expensive, and food apparently isn't a human right (Hooray for the red white and blue-- right, America?)
I hate the fact that I can't get a job due to not owning a vehicle. I hate living in such a remote, middle of nowhere town and feeling *trapped* since I need money-- and thus, a job-- to afford a car, and yet I need a car in order to be able to drive to anywhere that's even *hiring.* since the nearest city is over a hundred miles a way, and in a town this rural and out of the way public transport is just-- totally non existent.
I'm tired of being sick all the time, and not having *space* and I just...
I'm tired of being hated for just trying to be myself
I wish I could afford to get back to college and finish my degree sometime before I'm 30, but that's just-- not viable right now.
I just... I want to die. I'm tired of living in a world where everything is such a struggle. I've already struggled with depression and schizoaffective disorder for much of my life thus far, and I just... Want to give up.
Honestly, if I could afford a car, even a cheap, used thing that barely runs, I'd probably just... leave. I don't know where I would go-- but... I'm tired of living like this, and something needs to change. Even with the constant reminder that I have family and friends who would miss me, even with drowning myself in distractions like reading, or talking to friends on discord, or gaming or streaming-- Even with distractions like that, the soul sucking emptiness is just. always there. Every day that passes I worry that I'll eventually give in, and start hurting myself again, or worse, make another attempt on my own life-- and I can't even afford to talk to a therapist about these issues, due to the shitty health insurance I have.
I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have a mom who's still alive, and willing to let me sleep on the couch so that I'm not homeless, who's willing to still provide shelter and food despite already struggling herself-- and honestly? that's part of the problem. I hate being essentially a freeloader.
Yeah, I do the household chores and general upkeep-- its the least I could do, since I don't have a job to help with bills-- but I just... I hate it.
I hate this town, I hate being alive and a burden, and I hate how little I can do to change the situation. I feel like just offing myself would be better, because then at least I wouldn't be a burden anymore.
I can't even use my old coping methods, because I promised that I wouldn't-- and then it would be a visible sign to those who cared about me that something was wrong if the injuries were discovered, and it would just... Be an incredible mess, and I just
Sorry, this whole thing has just been really just-- ramble-ey, and not structured? It's almost midnight and I'm just
I had to get this out, because the 'healthy' coping mechanisms aren't working anymore and i'm just...
Urgh.

I have been working with a public defender for the last 8 months now and he is trying to get me into this program since it is my first offense. My blood bac was double over the limit and i rear ended a car but luckily my insurance covered for all of the damages. My court date has been reset multiple times now and i am still under pretrial supervision. Im wondering if i should just hire a lawyer or stick to my PD since i feel like something may be wrong if my court date keeps getting reset and pushed back. My PD doesn’t tell me much nor answers my calls at times. I’ve found some good local dui lawyers but they seem to be a bit pricey for me. I dont mind paying but i am afraid that the outcome will be same as what my PD can get for me. Is it worth hiring a lawyer ?

Me and two friends rented a unit in Millcreek that initially seemed insanely awesome (two kitchens, two dishwashers, two living rooms and a spare bedroom) but turned out to have a host of problems that were caused either by ower neglect or previous tenants that decided to not put in maintenance requests for anything. A leak under our upstairs bathroom sink, pinholes in the faucet causing water to shoot everywhere, previous water damage and crappy patch work such as covering holes with tape instead of properly drywalling them. During the tour, my roommates didn’t notice these issues because the previous tenants had their stuff everywhere. I actually wasn’t able to tour the place so I just decided to trust them. Our most serious issue so far was noticed about two weeks ago, when water literally was leaking from upstairs kitchen sink and dishwasher through the wall into the downstairs drywall, wood studs and cabinetry. After a plumber opened up the wall in two places, there is a lot of mold. I even explicitly asked them to take proper containment measures the day before the plumber came, which obviously was not passed along to him because these two holes were left completely open, with no tape or plastic surrounding them at all. I’ve been running air purifiers trying to stop spores from spreading everywhere. I had to tape the holes closed myself with gorilla tape a week after the fact (yes I should have done it sooner, I thought they would come back and do it.) I have photos of everything. I’m thinking about ordering a mold test. If they don’t properly remediate this without destroying mine and my roommates health, I want to leave, and I need help with laws in Utah regarding mold and the health of tenants. If anyone has been in a similar situation and has any insight, that would be great.

Hi All; not exactly sure how to ask this but for context, I am severely myopic with double astigmatism. My vision is still correctable to 20/20, but without correction I sit around 20/800 and twice in the last few years I've had situations arise where my glasses broke in public and were beyond usability while I alone. Both occasions were very stressful and rather frightening and really made it clear how non-functional I am without my glasses.
I just had my yearly eye exam last week and asked my eye doctor about the possibility of learning to use a cane; I don't want to use it full-time, I do use my glasses and don't have a problem with them for day to day, but I am prone to migraines and sometimes if I have a tension headache at the end of the day or am very tired my eyes start to feel strained and it would be nice to have the option not to wear my glasses on my way home. I've also worn glasses every waking moment of my life since I was six years old (over two and a half decades now) and sometimes I just want to go around without them when my eyes are tired or I have a migraine. I'm not embarrassed by how bad my uncorrected vision is or the prospect of using a cane but I definitely didn't want to jump into it without using the correct cane or without knowing how to use it correctly, so I asked my eye doctor about it and was very taken aback by both her and her intern's reactions.
Both of them immediately and aggressively started trying to get me to get contacts, which I would really rather not do because I find them extremely uncomfortable. I wore them regularly for several years when I was younger but stopped because of how uncomfortable they were becoming, and when I still said I'd rather use a cane just for getting to and from work without my glasses on if I have a migraine or even just for going on walks in my neighborhood without my glasses they tried to insist that I get surgery. I'm not particularly interested in surgery, I've never been particularly bothered by my eyesight and I'm moving states in a few months so timing-wise surgery isn't a good option right now. Also it's not something I'm passionate about getting done, which to me always feels like a good reason not to have any surgery. I know that since I'm still correctable to 20/20 I am neither legally blind or visually impaired, but I was so surprised by their horrible reactions, especially since they seemed overwhelmingly baffled and were *so* aggressive in pushing contacts or surgery.
I went into the appointment thinking that it wasn't unreasonable to want to learn to use a cane or learn how to function at a basic level without my glasses but their reactions were so overwhelmingly negative I'm afraid I'm overstepping myself and wanted to get other people's thoughts. I know how fortunate I am to still have correctable vision but sometimes I just want to be able to exist without them, 20/800 eyesight and all. They're my eyes and they don't work well on their own but I like them just as they are. Was asking to learn how to properly use a cane without my glasses when my vision is correctable ridiculous or invasive upon the blind community? If so, I didn't realize, and I apologize and will not pursue this further until my such a time as my eyesight deteriorates beyond correctability, but I was just so confused at how aggressive the eye doctor and intern were about me not learning to use a cane at all. They also kept emphasizing that insurance won't cover a low-vision specialist visit (which is fine, I can pay for an appointment myself) and how I they don't understand why I don't get contacts or surgery when again, I love my glasses and I'm not bothered by my non-corrected eyesight, contacts are uncomfortable, surgery isn't super feasible (and also just not something I'm interested in) and I just want to feel more comfortable in public if something happens to my glasses again.

Hello,
My partner and I recently had twin babies. We hadn’t been dating very long, but are both at the stage in our lives where we wanted to be parents.
Things seemed to be going well, but now there is a weird control factor.
Originally from all the information and advice I got as a new expecting parent, it was to lean into help. It takes a village to raise a kid and luckily enough we both have family in the area who have offered to help and are more than happy to help(some in retirement and others have some free time).
I start up work soon and will have to work 40 hours a week hybrid.
Currently we take care of them together. They are over a month old. I am expected me to take on a different sleep schedule slightly to make it into work on time certain days.
It is expected that I will be able to work full time, and take care of the kids when I get home. Since they will take care of the kids during the day while I’m gone then they would get a break when I get back.
I totally expect that we both need downtime, but they seem to forget that I won’t have any.
I’ve mentioned we should lean into the family and friends to help and their response is they don’t want to have them around all the time helping.(I have mentioned a couple hours at a time isn’t all the time, and it’s very helpful, but they shut me down each time saying I’m forcing my narrative, which I feel is a serious conversation that needs to be had.)
My next solution was to talk it out in couples therapy. No insurance seems to cover this, but I’ve mentioned the cost makes sense for me to put towards building a working and productive relationship for the sake of ourselves and the family. They say they don’t want to cough up their half of the costs for therapy and I’ve mentioned I’ll pay for it because I think it’s important.
I am then shot down after this saying oh they don’t have time to add another thing to their schedule.
Would the next best solution be to discuss custody?
Since they want to be independent, I’ll let them be. On my days, I’ll lean on family and friends to help while they are willing and can. On their days, they can take care of them their way.
If this isn’t the most logical next step, after trying multiple times to get into therapy, I don’t know what else to do. I plan to try a few more times to set up therapy with them for a productive conversation. I don’t know how many times I should try, but I haven’t given up hope. I’m just the type of person who wants to have to options laid out for pros and cons.
Maybe this is the wrong sub and if so I’m sorry. I just want to know peoples experiences with custody for newborns and how to approach that conversation if needed.
Thanks for any help.

I am at filling an application form to get individual health insurance and struggle with medical history section.
I get it that you have to disclose any ongoing chronic illness or pre-existing condition (diabetes, cancer, etc)
But the form explicitly requires to disclose condition/illness like: pneumonia, bronchitis or back pain.
I did have bronchitis 45 years ago, and one episode of back pain 30 years ago, fully recovered from both ages ago, not undergoing any treatment for these. Still, if I do not disclose it is technically a fraud, right?
So, by disclosing the insurer would:
a) use these events to increase the premium or lessen coverage, or
b) disregard these events as obviously not active conditions, thus having no effect on premium or coverage
Which one of these scenario should I expect?
I am totally ok to disclose, but no more than necessary...
Thanks!

I have these rashes that appeared they are super itchy and hard some are the size of pimples some are bigger. I don’t have health insurance and am wondering if I should wait it out. The rashes are around my elbows are my knees.

This is going to be a long one. I just need to write it out so I don’t end up talking to anybody about it IRL (I don’t want many people to know - because I can’t handle anybody saying “but she is your mother” at this point), I just need to write this all down to get it out of my system.
And yup, definitely mommy issues here. I grew up with only her, only child, and she isolated us from everybody else because of her hoarding (and her personality). I feel like I have been living my life like an orphan trying to raise myself, combined with the strange mix of being a child who never felt like a child, who was trying to be the parent for my parent.
I’ve had a lot of… unfortunate events take place in my life, things that when I have told people 5% of it they would say it sounds horrible, that no person should experience things like that (in a variety of categories). But… I am dead set that the one thing that has affected me the most in my life is my mother’s neglect.
She did her best, it wasn’t good enough.
It’s been almost 6 months since I went no contact (well technically very low contact since I have exchanged maybe 5 - 6 text messages in the past half year) with my mother, and it got me thinking what pushed me over the edge to go no contact this time around - considering my mother hasn’t changed that much at her core. Sure, she has gotten older and even more rigid, but she is still my mother, with the same personality traits she always had.
I went to visit her three times last fall. I tried to help her. Be her “parent”. Take her to various doctors after she has neglected her own health for years. Arrange for home help. Clean up the worst of the hoard (like the literal rotting trash). Get the bathroom and kitchen back into a functional state so she can continue to live in her home. Try to clean up the worst parts of how she has neglected herself and her surroundings (her apartment).
That in itself didn’t make me go no contact.
It wasn’t that I came to a hoarded, dirty house that made me cut her out.
It wasn’t that she blatantly lied and said she had cleaned the apartment to bait me into coming visiting in the first place that made me go no contact.
It wasn’t that she refused to accept help from anybody but me until I put my foot down and pretty much forced it through.
It wasn’t even that she was so rude to both nurses and me, always either wanted to have power over someone or being the victim.
It was wasn’t even that she has so little interest in me or anything about me that she has no idea about what is going on in my life.
All of those things are sad, devastating even, but those things didn’t make me say “enough”. I’ve been living with her as my mother for close to 40 years. Of course, all of these things were some of the underlying factors, but I what drove me over the edge was a ridiculous, tiiiiiiiny little thing, tbh. And to explain that tiny little thing, I need to give some back story.
When I moved back from another country I had brought back a blanket from that country that I used on my bed. I used it when I lived with my previous partner in this other country, I used it when I lived alone in that country, and I used it when I moved back to this country and stayed over in the tiny room in her apartment I cleaned out so I had a base to help her with the rest of the apartment.
Because of Covid (and my reluctance to go back into her hoarded apartment), I had not been in that apartment for 4 years (2019 - 2023). In that apartment there was a tiny 6 square meter room that I cleaned up.
When I say “clean up”, it is an understatement. That room had been completely been blocked off because of her hoard from top to bottom from when I was younger. To the point where the door did not open and it was impossible to enter the room. I literally had to pry the door open, and try to pull out item by item until there was enough space to actually open the door.
But I cleaned the entire 6 square meters over the years! I bought a little foldable bed, a pillow and a duvet, some furniture, sorted my stuff in there, and my mother promised that this could be “my room” in her apartment. This was because she really wanted me to come visiting (and she needed my help), and the rest of the apartment is… unsanitary. I had two specific requests for that room - that she would not put any of her hoard in there, and not let the cats in there - since I am allergic. (I can take an allergy tablet and be fine around cats, but I can’t live in an environment with a ton of cat hair.)
When I returned for the first time in 4 years in 2023, the little room I’ve kept clean years prior was covered in cat hair and cat puke. And she has started hoarding there again as well. So she broke that promise - to keep that ONE tiny room cat- and clutter-free. (Technically she also flat out lied and said she has cleaned her apartment so I would come visit in the first place, but I thought that it sounded so far fetched I didn’t believe it in the first place. But the ONE tiny room though, I trusted she could keep that tiny space in her house - and her heart - for me.)
I got both sad and angry when I saw the state of the room. I had to buy a new pillow, and a new duvet, new sheets - which wasn’t covered in… cat piss, puke and hair. But my blanket, my dear blanket… I said that the least she could do was getting it dry cleaned. That was on visit number one last fall.
I even found a place she could hand the blanket in, and we even went there together and made sure they could clean the blanket for like 50 dollars (not a terrible price in this country for that type of blanket).
The blanket was completely covered in cat hair and what I presume to be cat puke (despite her swearing that the cats had never been in that room EVER or on that blanket on the bed EVER. She really took delulu is the new solulu to another level. I really think she believes her own lies). I cleaned off as much haipuke as I could from my blanket. Then I packed it up in a sealed bag, so it was ready to go to the dry cleaners.
Came back a second time, about a month later. She hadn’t taken the blanket to the dry cleaner yet. My itinerary was packed, following her to doctors appointments, setting up home help, the whole shabang.
Came back for the third time last fall, about a month after that again. She still had not taken the blanket to the dry cleaning. It was right where I left it, gathering dust.
So that is what broke me. That god damn blanket is the catalyst to why I went no contact. I haven’t been there since November 2023. (She lives a 7 hr train ride / 45 min flight away).
I will contact her at the end of May, and ask her if the blanket has been dry cleaned.
I am willing to bet a substantial amount of money that it has not. Despite me finding the place she can hand it in to be dry cleaned. Despite me packing the blanket up in a bag for easy transport.
I honestly don’t know where to go from here when I will (most likely) confirm that she hasn’t gotten the blanket dry cleaned. The place to hand it in is literally 5 min away with car, 7 by bus, 25 min to walk. And if she hasn’t been able to do that for me in 6 months - it is baffling to me if she doesn’t understand why I have to limit contact with her?
I know this is such a tiny thing. It’s just a blanket. But this is how every little tiny - and big - thing is with her.
I chose the flair that says “support through advice”, and I guess what I am asking is not how I can change her or her habits - I have lost most hopes she will change - but if someone can tell me if there are other solutions than no contact here? I feel so guilty. She doesn’t have many people in her life. I am an only child. She has no partner. Very little contact with friends. But at the same time I felt enraged whenever I had to communicate with her last fall before I went no contact. I thought maybe the no contact would have her reflect on her behaviors, but clearly this is a moot point. So where do I go from here? I don’t think I can ever forgive myself if she were to pass away and I would have been no contact. But I also feel so bitter and angry just thinking about picking up any contact with her again.

Question around custody for newborns
Hello,
My partner and I recently had a frat twin babies.
Things seemed to be going well, but now there is a weird control factor.
Originally from all the information and advice I got as a new expecting parent, it was to lean into help. It takes a village to raise a kid and luckily enough we both have parents in the area to help.
I start up work soon and will have to work 40 hours a week hybrid.
Currently we sleep a shift schedule to take care of newborns. They are 1 month and a half old. I am expected me to take on a different sleep schedule slightly to make it into work on time certain days.
It is expected that I will be able to work full time, and take care of the kids when I get home. Since she will take care of the kids during the day while I’m gone then they would get down time for all the hard work they do.
I totally respect that we both need downtime, but I think they seem to forget that I won’t have any.
I’ve mentioned we should lean into the family to help and their response is they don’t want to have family around all the time helping.(I have mentioned a couple hours at a time isn’t all the time, and it’s very helpful, but they shut me down each time saying I’m forcing my narrative, which I feel is a serious conversation that needs to be had.
My first solution was to talk it out in couples therapy. No insurance seems to cover this, but I’ve mentioned the cost makes sense for me to put towards building a better, more productive communication for our longevity. They say they don’t want to cough up their half of the costs for therapy and I’ve mentioned I’ll pay for it because I think it’s important.
I am usually shot down after this saying oh they don’t have time to add another thing to their schedule.
I feel the next best solution is to discuss custody if there is no resolve from this communication.
Since they want to be independent, they can, on my days, I’ll lean on family to help while they are willing and can. On their days, they can do it on their own or call in help from family.
If this isn’t the most logical next step, after trying multiple times to get into therapy, I don’t know what else to do. I plan to try a few more times to set up therapy with them for a productive conversation. I don’t know how many times I should try, but I haven’t given up hope. I’m just the type of person who wants to have to options laid out for pros and cons.
Maybe this is the wrong sub and if so I’m sorry. I just want to know peoples experiences with custody for newborns and how to approach that conversation if needed.
Thanks for any help.

Hello everyone! I am a cis woman, but due to having uterine cancer I had to have all my girl parts removed. I cannot take HRT. So, I only produce testosterone according to my endocrinologist. Here's the thing- I have horrible facial hair. Lip, chin, throat, bushy eyebrows. It gives me dysphoria and I pick at my face with tweezers trying to get rid of it.
I have tried waxing but still have to tweeze- and when it gets longer and I can feel it the anxiety starts. I can't afford laser treatments and my health insurance will not cover it. Shaving is a no go because I have to shave twice daily because it grows fast. Sometimes I get hairs that are so coarse I have to use a needle nose pliers to yank em!
Have any of you tried the at home laser treatments like Nood? I think that's what it's called!! What were your results? Is there a better method of having smooth skin?
I didn't know where else to ask!

Hello! This is my first post, so happy to have found this sub because I’m learning so much. Decided to post because I really need your thoughts and advice.
I grew up in a middle class fam & under super financially illiterate parents. When I was younger, feel ko nasa rich kami but because my parents (my dad for the most part) didn’t invest and save money, at the moment living paycheck to paycheck lang talaga. My parents (both 50) earn a combined ~120-130k net monthly income; mom is a Nurse, dad is a contractual govt employee that pays fairly well. Yun nga lang problema, they both never figured out communicating about money. The easiest way I can put it is that my dad earns fairly well but does not give a lot minsan pahirapan pa hingan and nagagalit pa, my mom naman would rather loan and be in debt to others than be open to my dad sa mga kailangan bayaran for fear na pagagalitan lang siya ng papa. TL/DR, because of 1844829 financial mistakes, I think it’s safe to say we’re one medical bill away from poverty.
As for me, I (F23) just graduated last year, passed my boards and now about to start on my first job as a Nurse in a govt hosp. I’m not a breadwinner, but there’s this unspoken expectation of me helping out sa bills soon kasi lalong lalaki na bayarin. I have 3 sisters: 2 college, isang junior high, all in private schools. Okay naman ako with helping out, may konting fear lang na maging retirement daughter pero that’s another problem for another day 🤣 ang iniisip ko nalang, better for my mom to reach out to me for help than keep ballooning our debts.
So this is the part where I would love to hear your thoughts.
Since my mom works at the hospital, free yung annual comprehensive checkups nya and when we need diagnostics & labs, free din kami. Kapag may hospitalizations, free din kasi sa govt naman. I had a surgery 3 years ago, pero since kilala ng mama ko yung ortho surgeon, na waive lang yung PF. Konti lang ata nabayadan. But I can’t help but wonder hanggang kailan tong ganitong safety net? I’m thankful for it but paano kung magretire na mama ko or anything that will stop us from accessing the free healthcare na dahil sa connections ng mom ko?
Gusto ko talaga magkaroon ng health insurance. Di ko pa ata afford buong pamilya ko (2 parents, 3 sisters) pero siguro the least I can include are my parents who are getting older na.
My question lang: in this whole process of starting to manage and build my money,

1. When should I get a health insurance? Do I build my EF first before saving up for an insurance or can I build my EF + save up and eventually pay for insurance?
2. What type of insurance should I get? I took the interactive flowchart and ended up with “get an HMO/health insurance” but I also want to hear your thoughts. Also read about life insurance but super confused pa ako sa difference, have to learn it pa.
3. Any recos for insurance na pwede ko isali parents ko?

Some few points lang siguro for you to help me out: - I will earn ~ 36k a month, di ko pa alam magkano max including benefits - I have philhealth, Mom has philheath and dependents pa yung 3 kong kapatid. Papa has philhealth pero parang di na nababayaran. - I’m relatively healthy, high cholesterol lang for now ang problem 😂 - Dad is prediabetic and scarily obese, very high risk for heart diseases. I feel like cancer is also prominent sa dad’s side ko. My lola had brain cancer, and a distant lola died of breast CA. - Mom’s side ko prevalent ang heart diseases and Diabetes. Mom currently has an abnormal ecg reading, hypertensive, and high in cholesterol.
Kung hindi pa obvious, I’m really all new to this. As much as I love my parents, they really did so bad taking care of their money and ayoko magaya sakanila. Please help me out.
Thank you!

I got my AS in respiratory therapy back in 2010. The program I went to was one of the toughest, today places in top 10%. There were times I remember thinking I would get booted out because it was so rough. I had to study twice as hard as most, and placed about in the middle of test scores.
I wound up only working for a year before having kids and becoming a SAHM. Long story short, hopped back to work a couple years ago- but I let my respiratory license expire and forgot everything after 10 years. I got the course material and studied 8hrs a day for about 2 months/passed/re-instated my license.
I developed some pretty bad health anxiety (perfect for my degree eh?) and went back to work with insurance. I worked up the ladder a bit, and am working in our local hospital system with providers/insurance work. In order to get any farther, i see job openings requiring a BS in health or business needed. I love what I do now, and want to advance in my new career.
I can take a test with multiple choice, but I haven’t written a paper since high school, everything I have done is science based and no projects. I don’t think I’m dumb, but I’m not that smart. I finish last on tests, and score about in the middle. I’m wondering if I can do this, and in 2 terms if possible. Are there enough resources to help with classes etc?