The proper amount of nolvadex to take

How big a hit would you take on your future house price to pass it on to your children.
My mum and dad had us (me and my twin brother) when they were 18 (1988) and bought a house for 20k. They sold that house for £49,500 and bought a bigger house for £64,000 when we were 10 years old which they still own and the house would be £200k plus at a conservative estimate now.
I've come back from Uni and ten years in England and bought a house for 300k plus as a straight swap for the spec we had in England (4 bed, two receptions and a garage) in a nice area of a city here.
Recently though we've had to refix our mortgage and thanks to that clown Liz Truss (the lady that opened up new pork markets in china) we're looking at paying £1600 a month now and the house has been valued £15k lower than what we paid for it after a survey was done just to fix a rate and the bank say not many would be able to pay that mortgage here.
This got me thinking about my daughter and what she'd be expected to pay when the time comes just to get on the market. I've no doubt a correction is needed in the market (it was the small print on the mortgage that got me, total amount payable for the 270k we were needing to borrow was 557k, which is scandalous when you think about it) but will our generation be the ones that make it happen?
I'm 35 and have lived through 2 serious recessions already but I pity the kids I see at 30 years plus still living with mum and dad and getting shit for buying a nice car or going in several holidays a year because they have literally given up on the dream of owning a home.
What policy could we adopt to give our kids a chance of being adults when they are in their 20s as I know wages will not improve to the level required and if we were to go into a serious level of negative equity it would just be the banks that would gain from it.
Thatchers buy your council house was a con as it's left affordable housing in tatters for rhe generations that followed. Nationalising a bank or housing developer wouldn't be a bad shout especially if house building is going to slow down. I've read that we'll be the richest generation ever after we I herit property from our boomer relatives but at what cost if our children are having to be heavily subsidised just to pay for heavily inflated housing?
Can't be just me thinking about this, is it?

I recently started taking the pill & starting the 3rd week today. I was just wondering when people started to notice symptoms? I have none that im aware of as of now. I did notice i have a shorter temper but thats about it. I have had the iud but unfortunately did not respond well to it. I know that bc isnt supposed to make you gain weight but it increased my appetite like crazy! I had never gained that much weight in such a short amount of time so im extremely scared but nothing as of now. I am also wondering if anyone skipped a period during their placebo week? Just wanting to know what to expect. I know everyone responds completely different. Thank you!

My fiancé applied to a job that we thought originally would take us to St. Louis but apparently he would be needed in Springfield. While this would be a great opportunity for his work, we’re both a bit reticent about moving there.
Some background: I’m originally from Colorado (where we live), but I did spend a few years in Northwest Arkansas as a kid. So I’m familiar with some of the area. Fiancé is from Minnesota but has been in CO since college. I’m now in a career transition (I’m leaving teaching), and we were already putting my house on the market to move closer to his work. So if we’re going for this, now is the time! We’re not super extroverted people but I enjoy going out and hiking is one of our main hobbies. We aren’t religious.
I’ve heard a lot of the bad (from ticks and chiggers to tornadoes to politics—I already live in a red area that has a fair amount of crime), but what are the good things about Springfield? What opportunities are there for work for a former teacher who wants to try something new? Also, Renting doesn’t actually seem to be much cheaper there than it is in Colorado.
Any suggestions or support would be greatly appreciated as we figure out if this is what we want!

Hi fellow redditusers
I really need your advice. I am a 20 year old male and currently located in Europe, Switzerland, as an au pair. I am taking care of two boys for 3 months now, and to put it lightly, it has not been an easy journey. I originally anticipated leaving in August per my contract, but I do not feel like this is the right place for me, or anyone, anymore. The things making me stay are my conscience and moral. I am going to share my story, and hope that some of you can understand my ongoing issues here.
First of all, the relationship between the mom and dad is falling apart. There is no love or affection between them, and the only type of communication they have, is arguing. They call each other names and the love is nowhere to be found. The boys are supposed to be raised in a loving and humble way, and I am trying my best. But at the same time, it is not my job to take care of the relationship - I am here regarding the boys and making the parents’ lives easier. On the other hand, the boys are witnessing these arguments, and the father also has a problem with alcohol. So, as the fight goes further, the more likely he is to leave for the night and doesn't show up until everyone has gone to bed - him being drunk. Frankly, I can't tell, when he has been drinking, but the mother sees right through him. It is hard to be in the middle of all this - as the helplessness kicks in. The discussion have been getting worse as time went by. The youngest of their sons (6) is also very sensitive and gets emotional very easily. He cries multiple times throughout the day, and gets very aggressive if he does not get it his way. He is definitely a challenge for me, mentally. Wouldn't be a problem without all this other stuff happening although. Meanwhile the family is planning to move into a renovated house next month, ongoing since Corona.. It seems very unrealistic for them, as they are basically planning a divorce in the midst of it. I truly wanted all of this to work out for them, but it takes a huge toll on me as well. Also, the municipality had to visit the family here, to make sure that everything is okay within the family. However, it did not turn out as one could hope, since they just put on a mask and the parents made everything seem like there was nothing going on behind the walls. The kids didn't say anything either; they are kids. The municipality does not show up to check on every other family, there needs to be something bad going on - so that just clarifies how serious my situation is, but nothing changed though. The reason for all this is probably found in the dad's roots, and a lot of problems with renovating the house. I have a great bond with the mother, and I get to hear her thoughts on the situation. She thinks, that he's a psychopath. Why the mother hasn't left the problematic father yet? Something in her tells her to hold on.. neither she or I can explain it.
Now, you are probably thinking:"Why haven't you, as an au pair, left already?" And yes, I know. My friends are kind of telling me the same. The thing is, I can't. It would be devastating for me to leave in the midst of hell for the family, and I for sure know it wouldn't make a single thing easier. I feel like I'm the rope holding the family together, so it doesn't fall apart. I know, it is not my responsibility, and I'm actually only here to be au pair. And these are not fair conditions to be an au pair at the moment. What should I do?
TLDR: Family problems regarding a drunk father not able to raise his children properly. Should I leave or stay 3 more months?

About two months ago my brother (31), who I’ll call John, moved back home because his Wi-Fi got disconnected. He’d missed a letter that came through and they ended up shutting it off. He said that he would only be here for a week but it has just dragged on. For context, my brother has autism and OCD and is completely capable of taking care of himself alone and has been living alone for a while. He is prone to act violently and has furious outbursts over relatively small things – he was kicked out by about 8 years ago by my parents. They usually will tell me about what’s happened with John, but whatever he did to get kicked out, my parents never speak of and from the look on my dad’s face when he even comes close to the subject made me not even want to press for details. He caused us all a lot of trauma and has had to have the police called on him multiple times because of his behaviour. When they arrive he pretends to be nice and cooperative.
Since he’s moved back here, there has not been a day that I have felt safe. I keep thinking of how I will be able to defend myself or my mum from him before the police come if he decides to start being violent again. My dad passed away a few years ago and he would usually be a shield for us when John started behaving that way. Living in this state of constant fear and distress is really taking a toll on my health and my studies.
I know my mum won’t kick him out because she is scared of what he might do but I can’t keep living like this. I can’t afford to move out right now and even if I could I don’t want to leave my mum alone in this house with him, I wouldn’t put any level of violence past him. He seems to have become even more volatile than usual and can’t even cope with being told minor things. For example, my mum told him to make sure he closes the freezer properly so all of our food doesn’t go off and he started threatening her. It has been going on like this for the whole time he has been here. I know it is only a matter of time before he starts trying to hurt someone. I don’t know what to do.

Steve made a mistake, was given some information by someone he trusted, and tried to break a story for his nascent Podcast network. The amount of you that accused him of taking Saudi blood money, or being a mouthpiece for a despot based on one video is astounding.
He got bad info, retracted the video when he found out that the existence of the league and the money supposedly backing it was in question, and people continued to pile on all weekend. All of you who called into question Steve's morals, or his integrity as a human being should be fuckin ashamed of yourselves. Do better.

I can not for the life of me get my husband to do anything he needs to do to optimize his own fertility. How did all of you get so pro active? Mine ignores every thing I suggest, every study I send, including posts from here, and yet HE’S the one with infertility and I’m about to turn 36 so I’m running out of time and he pretends to care, he pays lip service to caring but at the end of the day the actions never line up. It took about 8 months of harassing and buying him new boxers and hiding his old ones to get him to ever stop wearing the stupidly tight/suffocating and synthetic boxers; getting him to stop binge drinking has never been a possibility; getting him to consistently take his supplements took another 8 months; getting him to consider varicocele repair surgery took me going through a miscarriage post IUI because of his high dna fragmentation so it appears I have to suffer a sufficient amount before he’ll make a micro improvement in any direction; and I sent him two pinned posts from this group which he straight up lied about reading but never did; he still gets massive amounts of chemicals, toxins, industrial and petroleum based products all over his entire body every day despite me insisting that he needs to a) detox and b) stop making a big problem even worse than it already is; and getting him to stop putting the cellphone in his front pocket without an EMF protecting case is still a problem. Essentially he’s the only one with fertility issues and yet he’s the one who does nothing and if he does do it it’s only because I’ve harassed, cajoled, manipulated, begged, pleaded, convinced, monitored, and expressed all of my needs vehemently for a year. What is it that makes you guys interested in repairing these issues and my husband a completely disinterested and two faced party?

I'm in my late 30s, I've gone through a lot of personal trauma with family. Some over 20 years old. People say it gets better and dulls the pain over time, but really it just seems like you learn to live with it. I don't understand it.
Just one thing, mind wanders, something reminds me and I just crash. If you can remember every detail about the event, emotions feel as if you were there and it's happening. Adrenaline, blood rate increases, nothing is dulled. Then I can't properly function properly the rest of the day.
I've seen people have similar experiences and then are fine a minute later. I don't know how people do that. I've tried several therapists and beyond that I'm shocked most of them still have a license with how mean some were. I swear one of them got excited every time they made me cry and kept pushing for more. They didn't seem to understand or just say to exercise or do something else to take my mind off of it. Thats it? Doesn't work.

Listen, I love taking new players threw a raid and teaching them (except the guy who got vex on his first clear and I was on my 52nd) but the amount of players I have encountered lying that they know what to do and have zero idea is actually quite surprising. I had multiple people lie and say they knew the encounter but when I checked their raid report they hadn’t completed a single raid! At least be honest and let people decide whether or not they want to teach you the mechanics instead of wasting everyone in the groups time when you had no idea what to do to begin with.

Canada has weak laws and I’m tired of getting phone calls from random scammers. They will expect you to donate a certain amount and won’t take no for an answer and when you do set boundaries they will gaslight you and manipulate you into thinking that it’s your fault for wasting their time. I wish them nothing but the worst. Here’s one phone number- this person called from Edmonton and claims to work for a company called “my capital investment”. This is a case of harassment. Speaking from experience, scammers are usually bitter and angry, they should just get deported or leave the county if they don’t have enough money to support themselves in Canada. We need better laws to protect Canadians
Scammer’s phone number:
+1 (780) 666-0730

I made one other post on here in regards to my husband but would like insight on some things so little by little will probably post different scenarios to get outsiders insight on situations.
Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)

We have those grandparents... the same ones I imagine many of you have. They're varying degrees of uninvolved. Love them, just wish they could spend more time with our kids.
Every year for the holidays and birthdays (which unfortunately for both kids fall within a month of Christmas) they send what feels like an obnoxious amount of toys and crap.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, but as the parent who ends up doing all of the home organizing, decluttering, finding a place for all this shit, I kind of wish they wouldn't. It's taxing on me and our home, and frankly the environment.
Would it be awful for me to send a group text to them when we get closer to the holidays to the effect of: "We are so loaded up on toys at the moment! But what the kids really need this year is quality time with their grandparents. Instead of gifts, would you consider taking the kids out for ice cream, for a hike, baking with them, teaching them a new skill, or even just watching a movie with them?"
Has anyone done something like this and had success with it?

I can't afford a plumber. I'm taking on this project on my own. I consulted the usual YouTube and other online forumns. But this time I also consulted ChatGPT. How did it do?
Here's the project. I'm replacing the sink in my bathroom. The P-Trap is from the 70s. It's a 1 1/2 in pipe. My p-trap kit is a 1 1/4.
Anyway, here's what the bot told me:
I understand now. You have a 1 1/2 inch pipe coming out of the wall, and you need to connect it to a 1 1/4 inch P-trap kit. To do this, you will need a reducing adapter to transition from 1 1/2 inch to 1 1/4 inch. Here’s how to do it:

1. **Materials Needed**:

• 1 1/2 inch to 1 1/4 inch reducing adapter
  
• 1 1/2 inch slip-joint nut
  
• 1 1/4 inch P-trap assembly (including J-bend and flange)
  
• Slip-joint washers
  

1. **Steps to Connect**:
   
2. **Prepare the 1 1/2 inch Pipe**:
   

• Ensure the end of the 1 1/2 inch pipe coming out of the wall is clean and smooth.

1. **Install the Reducing Adapter**:

• Slide the 1 1/2 inch slip-joint nut onto the 1 1/2 inch pipe.
  
• Place the 1 1/2 inch to 1 1/4 inch reducing adapter onto the end of the 1 1/2 inch pipe. The reducing adapter will fit inside the slip-joint nut and reduce the diameter to 1 1/4 inch.
  

1. **Secure the Reducing Adapter**:

• Tighten the 1 1/2 inch slip-joint nut onto the reducing adapter, securing the connection. Ensure it is snug but not overly tight to avoid damaging the washer.

1. **Connect the 1 1/4 inch J-Bend**:

• Insert the 1 1/4 inch end of the J-bend into the reducing adapter. Make sure it fits snugly.
  
• Use a slip-joint nut and washer to secure the J-bend to the reducing adapter.
  

1. **Complete the P-Trap Assembly**:

• Attach the other end of the 1 1/4 inch J-bend to the P-trap and flange.
  
• Secure all connections with slip-joint nuts and washers. Make sure each connection is tight and properly aligned.
  

1. **Check for Leaks**:

• Turn on the water and check all connections for leaks. Tighten any connections if needed.

Here’s a quick list of materials and tools you might need:

• 1 1/2 inch to 1 1/4 inch reducing adapter
  
• 1 1/2 inch slip-joint nut
  
• Slip-joint washers
  
• 1 1/4 inch P-trap assembly
  
• Adjustable wrench
  

By using a reducing adapter, you can effectively connect your 1 1/4 inch P-trap kit to the 1 1/2 inch pipe coming out of the wall.

For context: This is my first job out of college. Spent months and months applying with nothing but rejection. I finished a master's, yet I don't think I know much or am very good at chemistry.
I have been working at this place for slightly less than 2 months so far. Training is very rough, I had to go out of my way and beg somebody to train me for HPLC, since I want to learn it as a skill. The QC head at first outright refused, saying something like "He doesn't have experience, he won't know how to do X, Y, Z anyway". If I need to learn how to insert myself on production batches, then I am at best a third wheel and I only inconvenience my coworkers.
The past few weeks my boss is getting worse with his criticisms and attitude toward me, to the point that it is greatly affecting my mental health. I'll be doing a reaction for the first time and he's essentially a drill sergeant while also being degrading about my potential as a chemist. "Where did you learn chemistry", "I'm disappointed", etc. - And no - no major mistakes where I failed a reaction or broke something expensive.
Today he said that I'm a disappointment to the company and that he expected more from me when I was hired. He also said my 2 coworkers (ones who are also young like me), do not want to work with me or like me, because I don't catch on quickly/am not a quick learner and "I just sit and watch" instead of inserting myself on large-scale production batches. He said I should avoid asking them questions too, because it might make me look dumb.
I've been trying my best to learn the processes. This is a small pharmaceutical production company with hundreds of thousands of dollars at stake if a reaction goes wrong. People who can independently run these will have at least 3+ years of experience, but even then, most of the time it is done by someone who's been here for 10+ years. I try to insert myself and always ask questions/offer help and I can tell I'm just annoying them.
My boss will nitpick and find little things to criticize me about. How I did a calculation, for example. It gave me the correct answer, yet he said I make it too confusing and write too much/take too long to do the calculation. If I'm using a new piece of glassware/fitting that I've never used before, he basically won't tell me what to do and act like my own intuition and problem-solving should tell me all I need to know - no training required, this isn't school, this is your job - his words.
He might actually show me how to do something one time and expect me to have mastered it if it needs to be done a month later. It could be something that has a good amount of steps such as adjusting several valves in a certain order on top of other things. I make one mistake on said process, I'll be berated and told I don't pay attention.
And lastly, there's quite the language barrier here. Both of the people who run this department including my boss, do not speak English well. I cannot always understand what they say and they get mad when I misinterpret it.
I just want to gain experience and eventually be a success. But from what he's been saying and what he said today, it makes me feel like a total failure and that I am too dumb to work and my degree is a lie. I'm so scared that if I lose this job, it will be another 8 months of my life down the drain, with nothing but rejection and unemployment... I just don't know what to do.

Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)

hi, i had to make a separate account to post this anonymously basically. i work for a family owned business and they own two stores. i work back and forth between the two stores. the first store i work six hours and by law i have to take my lunch break and i am able to (even though its always past the five hour mark). the second store however, i work all day by myself and have to work during my lunch. we have been very short staffed for the past two years and plus the second store at times is apparently “not busy enough” to hire more people.
so, since 2022, i’ve been working the second store by myself (10 hours). my boss has told me to work on my lunch bc technically i’m shit out of luck. every time i’m at the second store, i clock out and begin my “lunch”. if i’m lucky, no one comes into the store and i can actually take a break and eat. most of the time, i sit down to eat, and i have to help customers during those 30 minutes, then clock back in. i can not close the store for the time span (an ex-coworker did that once and got in trouble) however, when i clock out, i do put that i take my breaks even though i never do. i calculated the amount the other day around how much i have lost doing this and without counting times i’ve had to cover for my other coworker that works at the second store as well, it was around $1000 in the span of two years.
there are many other complaints i can put about working at these two places, but then we’d be here forever. i know it’s my fault because i haven’t stepped up and complained to anyone, but i’ve been too afraid to. it’s my first ever job so it kind of sucks this is the experience i’m getting. i plan on leaving the company anyways within the next two months so if anyone has comments or advice on how to get compensation for this it’d be great! i know i probably wouldn’t win on it since i put down i took my lunch and got my rest breaks (when i dont). i’ll also take the blame since i know it is my fault. thanks guys.

I had been with my ex girlfriend for 2 years. The relationship was amazing, if there was a problem, we talked about it and we fixed it. Although it was a long distance relationship, it worked out well because both my and her parents were able to support us financially.
Now some intel about the breakup itself which might be helpful:
My girlfriend had been on vacation with her family and because of that, basically didn’t text me at all. Coming from a person that always puts maximum effort into the relationship and talking to the person regularly, i asked her to take some of her free time ( for example chilling at the pool for a few hours or watching videos with her friends ) and spend it calling me instead since i’d appreciate seeing her face at least once a day and talk about it everything that’s going on, especially because we both have stressful times going on.
After summarizing my feelings and thoughts into a message, i left her the message over night to read. The next day ( actually the day she was flying home ) she told me that we‘d talk about the problem once she’s home. I obviously waited for her but when we talked at night, she told me that she’s too tired and would prefer to talk about it tomorrow. Since i obviously don’t want to have her arguing tired, i agreed with her, but the next day, same thing. Since i felt deeply disrespected and my feelings disregarded, i, again, sent her a message, this time more upset ( i did use some mean expressions i would not normally use, but again it deeply upset me and also hurt me )
She read it and said that she’s again too tired to handle it, and that she will talk to me about everything the next day.
Now, this is where it gets „weird“ and where i don’t know how to act about it.
The next day, after the whole day no being available again, she sent me a long text.
I will not copy and paste the whole text obviously, but her main point of criticism was that i don’t trust her and that she can’t be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t trust her. I was obviously shocked by firstly the breakup message itself, but also confused by the contents, since the argument wasn’t about trust at all. At this point i need to specify, that we did have problems with me not trusting her in the past, but a lot of the times it was disagreements on subjects like „how often should i text you“ , „should i go on a 2 week vacation with friends that you don’t like and go clubbing“ in which the definition of „trust“ is extremely hard to make out which is why i never saw it as part of the trust problem, but more of individual problems.
Nevertheless, i need to admit that i’ve been more mistrusting and insecure due to my enourmous amount of stress because of the finals in school, my future etc. Still, in the breakup message, she specified on that point exactly, which, at that point, hadn’t been a problem in our relationship for quite a while.
Now about my actual question. When i called her that night to talk about everything, i convinced her to think about it for at least two days so she can be a 100% sure. This has now turned into 5 days of less and less contact going from calling each other and talking about eurovision to going to bed and only texting 2 times a day REALLY shortly.
I have told her multiple times that there are a LOT of things that have been misunderstood as you could clearly tell by her message that we need to talk about, and i don’t understand why the contact is getting less and less while she told me that she loves me and misses me just two days ago. Talking about the problems and the fuck ups on both sides could potentially save the relationship, whxih is why i’m seeking help here on reddit to find out how i can get her to have that final conversation ( or hopefully not final ) with me.
Thanks to everyone in advance, i highly appreciate it.