TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?

TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your comptia or any other WGU Exam or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
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Again, cautiously I proceed, believing there is a danger in applying anything from one of the novellas in The Fifth Head of Cerberus to one or both of the others. With that caveat out of the way, let me explore the potential provenance of “‘A Story’ by John V. Marsch” in light of the revealed situation in “V.R.T.”
​
“V.R.T.” gives us a Soviet model of crime and punishment which recasts “A Story” as being a work of rehabilitation rather than one of anthropology. I sketch some of this territory in “Appendix VRT8: A Soviet Model” (part of Gene Wolfe’s First Four Novels: A Chapter Guide), but I would like to expand it a bit here.
​
I believe “V.R.T.” is largely patterned on Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon (1940). Koestler reveals in his novel that with the Soviet system, a court case could not advance to the show trial stage until after the prisoner had signed a false confession that had been crafted entirely by the authorities. This fantastical document of made-up crime is referred to as “The Grammatical Fiction,” and by definition it is not written by the prisoner, it is written by his jailers, in order to justify his pre-determined fate.
​
I pause here to note that George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) is really a “happy ending” version of Darkness at Noon. Be aware that there will be spoilers ahead for both 1984 and Darkness at Noon.
​
Robert Borski is on record arguing that prisoner 143 wrote “A Story” while in prison. I am on record arguing against that, both author and setting, but I will go through a steelman argument of what I think such a thing would look like, using elements I have already published, bending and combining them in service to this new task.
​
To prepare the way, I will engage in a long-delayed response to Borski’s “Marschian Sexuality” (2006), a brief article that detects in the Earth anthropologist Marsch a homosexual nature (The Long and the Short of It, 49). Borski notes that Marsch’s journal describes teenage Victor as “handsome in a rather sensitive way,” and that later entries show Marsch increasingly agitated by the idea that Victor might be sexually engaged with the suspected abo girl, an agitation that rises in intensity to the point Marsch writes about shooting them both if he catches them together. As telling as that is, for Borski, “the clincher is he reports in his journal that he’s noticed Victor is uncircumcised.”
​
This is the first I saw such an idea, and I applaud Borski for his textual detective work. I will build upon this, going in a different direction than Borski goes.
​
If a reader believes there are two distinct personalities in prisoner 143, it makes sense that there be differences to distinguish between the two, differences in voice that will appear in text. Both Marsch and Victor are male; one is in his twenties, the other a teen; one is highly educated, the other is barely educated; both are beardless. Totaling these up, they are practically twins, so a difference in sexual orientation could show which personality is writing a given sentence.
​
Borski assigns the misogynistic remark about Celestine Etienne to the Victor side (49), whereas I take this as expressing the Marsch persona, along with the other misogynisms, such as “Most medical men . . . [only] prolong the lives of ugly women” (5HC, 205).
​
By my reframing, prisoner 143 is ostensibly a misogynistic homosexual, yet during his extra-harsh time in the tomb-like underground cell he writes about dream women (5HC, 210-11) and a prostitute he hired on Ste. Anne (212). After this he gets positive reinforcement, being moved back to his original cell (231), being given the best food and a bath (231), and being given an intimate visit by Celestine Etienne (232). Then, when he is about to burn his uncollected notes, his jailers confiscate them (233).
​
This technique employed by the jailers to break him down is not special, it is their standard way, as declared by the letter: “We are pursuing the usual policy of alternately lenient and severe treatment to produce a breakdown” (242). Yet the resulting breakdown might actually serve to wean Victor of the Marsch persona; or to exorcise the Marsch spirit, in possession terms; or, in actor’s terms, to relegate the role into a mere mask. If Victor’s mother can shift between multiple roles, it shows the importance of not confusing a mask for the core.
​
One model I looked at in my chapter guide was that the government fears prisoner 143 is a human sniper disguised as an abo klutz (“Appendix 5HC2: A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing”). The opposite to this would be a sheep-in-wolf’s-clothing, which looks like Red Riding Hood in the belly of the wolf.
​
Returning to the Soviet model of “V.R.T.,” perceptive readers will have been arguing for nine paragraphs that “A Story” does not look like a Grammatical Fiction; it looks more like a fictionalization of a personal psychological reintegration, ending in the killing of an ogre and the subduing of a shadow twin. In a sense, this puts “A Story” in company with I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (1964), a famous fictionalization of a personal psychological reintegration. As such, consider this mapping of “A Story” to Victor’s point of view in “V.R.T.” (similar to the table in the aforementioned “Appendix VRT8”).
​
=A Story: V.R.T.=
Quest to become a man: expedition starts (find abos/mother)
Become a shadow friend: Marsch as patron (*)
The girlfriend (Seven Girls Waiting): the cat/abo girlfriend
Vision of mother in danger: clue in Roncevaux
Trip by river: starcrosser to Ste. Croix
The trap (capture by marshmen): murder of Number Four
The prison: #143
The family reunion in prison: the incoherent neighbor as mother
The girlfriend in prison: Celestine Etienne
The miracle: (black box**, reality breakthrough)
The execution of Last Voice: (black box, the killing of the ogre)
The switch: (black box, the subduing of the shadow twin)
​
* for “Become a shadow friend: Marsch as patron” I am especially struck by the parallel scenes where the hero, facing a threatening male, weeps and is comforted. In “A Story” this is where Sandwalker prepares to fight the intoxicated Shadow Child (5HC, 86); in “V.R.T.” this is where Marsch asks Victor what he will do when he is a man (5HC, 159), and six days later they talk about an anthropology book Victor has read (223). In addition, the way that the Old Wise One of “A Story” speaks in scientific jargon forms an unexpected link to Marsch-as-tutor; and Victor’s imitation of Marsch and Hagsmith swells their camp number to four, similar to the fluctuating number of phantom-like Shadow Children.
​
** by “black box,” I mean that science and technology term wherein an input goes into a black box and the black box emits a transformed output, but the internal working of the box remains mysterious and opaque. One explicit “black box” in “V.R.T.” involves the murder out in the field: we witness events leading up to that incident, and notes after the incident, but the incident itself remains mysterious and opaque.
​
Continuing beyond this mapping, the letter from the jailers to the junior officer names two solutions: execution of 143 as an agent of Ste. Anne; release of 143 as a scientist from Earth, “at least until he further incriminates himself” (241): in effect, the Darkness at Noon option (execution), or the 1984 option (release for eventual execution). In his response, the junior officer writes that neither is acceptable, and that, “Until complete cooperation is achieved we direct you to continue to detain the prisoner” (243). This “complete cooperation” sounds like the prerequisite for “Grammatical Fiction,” but it also could imply an implied third option, a “fork ending” of the sort promoted by Damon Knight (who, you will recall, grew Gene from a bean), where the third ending is not named but subtly foreshadowed. So, if the end result, the black box output, is the production of “A Story” (foreshadowed by appearing in the text before “V.R.T.”), then the implied off-the-page ending of “V.R.T.” is not a list of imaginary crimes to warrant 143’s execution as a sniper agent, but an anthropological romance to allow 143’s release as a scientist from Earth. Yet this is not the simple release of 143 as the 1984 option, it is a third way: to avoid the possibility that he “further incriminate himself,” the jailers must actively remake him as a scientist from Earth, if only as a stable role. According to my thought chains on Manchurian Candidates (ibid “Appendix 5HC2”), the government therefore must first determine that prisoner 143 is not, in fact, capable of being a sniper (i.e., an Earthman with proven skill at long range rifle use), but is an abo klutz.
​
Given that Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) is a “happy ending” version of Koestler’s Darkness at Noon, I hope I have made clear the likely stages required for an even “happier ending” in “A Story” as a rehabilitation document for prisoner 143. The “Grammatical Fiction” has turned into I Never Promised You a Rose Garden; the Soviet-style prison is revealed to be more like a healing mental health hospital, if only for this one exceptional case where the government finds itself in a bind.

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Hello everyone, I've been dealing with a break up that shook up everything about myself for the past 7 months. I just want to write this as a reflective piece. This was a 3 and a half year long relationship.
So I was dating a woman that I met in college (she was slightly older than me so she already had graduated), and the first few months felt like heaven. I never really had a relationship before where I felt so compelled, so in love with someone. And she really was a sweetheart, she did so many nice gestures, date ideas for us, and I was completely in sync and returned the favor as well. But then COVID hit and we went to remote learning/working from home. And this is honestly where our relationship's issues started to come into play, and not because of us (initially). Without revealing anything personal, my ex worked an incredibly abusive and demanding job that would have her often working until midnight or later, every single day. And this went on for years. The issue with this, on top of her trying to study, was that everything in our relationship had to either be cut off or revolve around her job. The thing is though, is that I learned over time (especially once I started my career and worked for a bit), was that she was under no obligation to actually work these insane hours with no overtime. She was just letting her job take advantage of her and essentially bully/pressure her into doing far more work than she needed to. While short-term this was not a huge issue to me, this was also actively eating into her own personal goals and achievements, and was taking a toll on her health as well.
I tried everything in the most polite way possible to convince her to look elsewhere, think of other opportunities (never told her to just outright quit as thats not my place), but she seemed to always dig her heels in and try to complain internally at her job, which literally never worked. It always led to bigger issues down the line. And eventually, it started to genuinely annoy me that our relationship was basically stalling and we were only seeing each other once a week or once every two weeks. I still genuinely loved her (and she really loved me) though, and tried my hardest to support her through it. By comparison, with my first job (which was in an extremely similar field), I was only working 40 hours a week, maybe 50 tops. But it was starting to get extremely worrisome that even by the 2 and a half year mark, I couldn't even get her to come on a vacation without her abruptly having to leave.
I want to make it clear though that despite all these issues, we were always incredibly understanding and honest to each other, and that if I had not made the decision I made, she never would have broken up with me, and probably would have been an incredibly loyal wife. However, after another year of feeling like she was really being more loyal to a shitty job than to me (and some other issues as well, without getting too into it I wasn't really able to bring myself to care about her interests anymore out of frustration, her problems that stemmed from never wanted to confront them was getting to me where I just didn't have it in me anymore, and her friends were pretty much actively shittalking me behind my back despite being significantly more supportive to her than any of her friends were, who basically used her constantly), I decided that I was going to end things with her. I did everything about the break-up correctly and respectfully, I went to her place, said that it wasn't fair for her to date someone that just didn't have it in them anymore, and I left. And that was the last I ever spoke to her.
Ever since I broke up with her, I've been hard blocked, no-contact style on everything by her. And for a long time (and even recently), it sucked hard. Someone that I spent so much time with, someone that I put so much love into, so many deep conversations that left me so happy, to see her just sort of treat me like I don't exist hurt like a motherfucker. I know it was definitely harder for her initially, as I dumped her, the guilt of hurting someone as sweet, smart, and as kind as she was absolutely ruined me. I'm ashamed to admit it, but multiple times I tried to contact her, just to talk, but every time it was met with deafening silence. Nothing.
To make matters worse, within a week of our breakup, I was laid off as well at my job.
But this is where things take a turn.
I was never a fit guy, but from starting a career at a sedentary job and feeling set in life with a beautiful girlfriend, I put on some serious pounds, I went from a little pudgy to straight up fat. I was starting to develop awful acid reflux + I have a nasty double chin when I'm fat, and with my job and my love life gone, I realized that for the first time in my life, I'm going to fight for myself, to be proud of how I look and feel. And thats exactly what I did. I took all of that sorrow, all of that guilt, and I took it to the gym, and I interviewed my ass off with some companies.
Flash forward to seven months later (now), I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life (sub-20% bodyfat and looking to cut even more), all of my stomach issues disappeared from being active, and now I work at a job far better (and more stable) than my last one. As someone who never seemed to attract women, I'm actually starting to have great conversations and meet new people (although I don't know if I'm ready to start dating again) who genuinely seem interested in me. I feel great, and I feel motivated. I knew it wasn't going to be easy being alone, but I believe I'm doing the right thing. I think anyone going through something like this needs to hear this; don't give up. You put the work into yourself and it'll all come together. Its never too late.
And typing this post was very therapeutic, felt like getting a massive weight off my chest. I still feel the pain of loneliness and missing my ex's compassion and companionship sometimes, but I don't truly regret my decision. I really wish we worked out, but ultimately her inability to confront her problems was her own worst enemy. I'm the exact opposite, I confront my problems head on. I just hope that one day I find someone perfect for me.
Thanks for reading.

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• Free admission

Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre

• This adventure begins at the London home of the Darling family, a typical evening in 1912, as the weary parents try to settle their children down for bed while the young ones insist on staying up late. Little do Wendy, John, and Michael know that a fantastic journey awaits them that night.
• Sat, May 18
• 3 p.m. and 6 p.m.
• $32+

DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center

• Wrestlers from all over the world will gather in one place for a night you won't forget.
• Sun, May 19
• 7 p.m.
• $25+

Multi-Day Events

The NGIN Cityscapes Summit at Durham Convention Center

• Hosted by national nonprofit, New Growth Innovation Network, prepare to connect with like-minded professionals and engage with purpose-driven organizations. Immerse yourself in workshops and captivating keynotes from renowned speakers, featuring three tracks of insightful sessions: Inclusive Capital, Community Wealth Building, and Reimagining Systems.
• Wed, May 15 - Fri, May 17
• Registration fees vary

Durham Greek Festival at St. Barbara Greek Orthodox Church

• Enjoy fabulous Greek food, desserts, wine and beer in a festive outdoor atmosphere. Continuous Greek music and scheduled folk dance performances.
• Sat, May 18, 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. and Sun, May 19, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.
• Free admission

Historic Buildings Open House at West Point on the Eno Park

• Enjoy a look inside the historic McCown-Mangum House, Photography Museum, and Mill.
• Sat, May 18 and Sun, May 19
• 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
• Free admission

Movies at The Carolina Theatre

• Libeled Lady
• Dirty Harry & Assault on Precinct 13
• Cat City
• Back to Black
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
• UHF

Monday, May 13

2 p.m.
Board Game Night at The Glass Jug in Downtown Durham
5 p.m.
Arts & Drafts at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Disc Golf Putting League at The Glass Jug in RTP
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery

Tuesday, May 14

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company

• 12-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
• 7-9 p.m. - Bull City Beer Runners Run Club
• 7-8 p.m. - Puzzled Pints Game Night

Events at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham

• 5:45-6:30 p.m. - Community Zumba Classes
• 6-8 p.m. - Music Bingo

Events at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP

• 6-8 p.m. - The Glass Jog Run Club
• 6-9 p.m. - Stitch & Sip

5:30 p.m.
Boxyard Run Club at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
In Other Words at Arcana
Duke Baseball vs College of Charleston at Jack Coombs Field
Bring Your Own Vinyl with Jaffar at Rubies on Five Points
Women on the Wall at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
6:30 p.m.
Trivia at Durham Food Hall
Pony Ride at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Trivia at Beer Study Durham
Not Rocket Science Trivia at DSSOLVR Durham
Tuesday Blues Jam at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Comedy Night at Bull City Ciderworks
Jeremy 'Bean' Clemons Trio at Kingfisher
Enter Shikari at Motorco Music Hall
Vision Video + Tears For The Dying at The Pinhook

Wednesday, May 15

Events at Atomic Empire

• 6:30 p.m. - Dragon Ball Fusion World Release Event
• 7 p.m. - Flesh and Blood Armory Event

Events at Boxyard RTP

• 12-2 p.m. - Hear & There: Daniel Delorenzo
• 5:30-8:30 p.m. - Game Night

Events at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery

• 7-8 p.m. - Signature Wine Tasting
• 7-8:30 p.m. - Laughs Comedy Night

9 a.m.
Senior Short Game Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
10:30 a.m.
Storytime on the Roof with Durham County Library at The Durham Hotel
12 p.m.
Adult Recess at CCB Plaza
3 p.m.
Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park
4 p.m.
Whiskey Wednesdays at Alley Twenty Six
5 p.m.
Free Wednesday Wine Tasting at Beer Study Durham
5:30 p.m.
Ride of Silence at CCB Plaza
6 p.m.
Queer Craft Night and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Bimbe Community Block Party at Holton Career & Resource Center
Come Take a Flight With Us: A Bright Black Workshop at Proximity Brewing Company
Free RTP Business Rockstar Connect Networking Event at Sheraton Imperial Hotel
Sweet Social: Auntie's African Ice Cream at The Durham Hotel
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Pickle at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
7 p.m.
Bottle Swap: Homebrew Club at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company
Skip The Small Talk: Speed Friending Event at Fullsteam Brewery
Hammered Trivia at Hi-Wire Brewing
Karaoke Night at Mavericks Smokehouse
Music Bingo at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
3rd Wednesday Jazz Jam Session at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
Brett Chambers Open Mic at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Air Hockey Tournament at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia Night at Bull McCabe's
Karaoke at Moon Dog Meadery
The Weeks at Motorco Music Hall
Blends With Friends at The Pinhook

Thursday, May 16

Events at Boxyard RTP

• 7:30-8 a.m. - Bike Durham: Bike to Work
• 12-2 p.m. - Taking Back Thursday: Sheila Casalett

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company

• 12-8 p.m. -Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
• 7-9 p.m. - Thursday Trivia with Nick

8:30 a.m.
Harnessing the Power of AI to Ensure Equitable HR Practices at RTI Holden Building
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
12:15 p.m.
Midday Meander: A Strolling Conversation at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
3 p.m.
Guided Museum Tour at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
5 p.m.
Thirsty Thursdays at Dashi
Righteous Roots Reggae Show at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
Walking Club with Bull City Strollers at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
6 p.m.
Queer Trivia at Arcana
Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works
6:15 p.m.
Pony Run at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
6:30 p.m.
AfterHours: Science of Beer at Museum of Life and Science
Line Dance Classes at Mystic Farm and Distillery
Space Code Youth Open Mic at NorthStar Church of the Arts
Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
7 p.m.
Trivia Night at Beer Tooth Taproom
Bimbé Cypher at CCB Plaza
Bring Your Own Vinyl Night at Congress Social Bar
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Summer Jazz Jam (Curated by Al Strong) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery
Al Strong Presents Jazz on the Roof at The Durham Hotel
7:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square
Reverend Billy C. Wirtz / Armand Lenchek & Carter Minor at The Blue Note Grill
Pillow Talk: Speed Dating and Conversations About Sex / Sexuality at The Pinhook
8 p.m.
Weekly Single Mingle at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia at Fullsteam Brewery
Danny Lopriore at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
DJ Halo Presents: No Requests at Rubies on Five Points
9:30 p.m.
Karaoke Night at The Tavern

Friday, May 17

Events at Atomic Empire

• 6:30 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
• 6:30 p.m. - Commander Legends: Battle for Baldur's Gate Draft

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 5-9 p.m. - Food Truck: La Republica Taco Truck
• 8-11 p.m. - Open Mic Stand-up Comedy

Events at Mettlesome

• 7:30-9 p.m. - Wit: An Improv Comedy Game Show
• 9-10 p.m. - Hush Hush

Events at Moon Dog Meadery

• 6:45 p.m. - Lindy Hop Lesson + Dance
• 7:30 p.m. - Djam
• 9:30 p.m. - Bachata Dance Night

Events at The Blue Note Grill

• 6-8 p.m. - The Duke Street Dogs
• 9:15 p.m. - The Beautiful People Club

10 a.m.
Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee
12 p.m.
Co-Working Social at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
4 p.m.
Late Spring Tree Ramble at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
5 p.m.
Guided Museum Tours at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
Food Truck Friday at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
LOJO: Log Off, Jam On at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
Aly J & Kevin Clark and Tarot with Kathleen at Arcana
Third Friday Art Walk at Downtown Durham
Friday Night Makes at Durham Arts Council
May Third Friday at Durham Arts Council
Counterpoints Exhibition Reception at Durham Bottling Co.
Third Friday at Golden Belt Arts
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Screenprint Roundup at The Fruit
The Patio Dance Parties : Clueless Fridays at Unscripted Durham
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
Live Vinyl Spinning by PhDJ at Beer Study Durham
Early Show: John Howie Jr. / Ramona and The Holy Smokes at The Pinhook
7:30 p.m.
Evening Eno Exploration Paddle at Eno River
Evan Ringel & Ariel Pocock at Sharp 9 Gallery
8 p.m.
Pass the Aux at Boricua Soul
Stereo Reveries at DSSOLVR Durham
Karaoke! at Fullsteam Brewery
Cheekface at Motorco Music Hall
Dance Blues Friday at Studio 5
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
The Floor: Special Guest THEYDYLIKE at Rubies on Five Points

Saturday, May 18

Events at Atomic Empire

• 11 a.m. - Pokémon TCG: League Cup
• 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
• 2 p.m. - Game Designers of North Carolina Meetup

Events at Boxyard RTP 11 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Will & Well: Grand Opening

• 11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Saturdaze: DJ k.ward

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 1-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Death By Taco
• 3-7 p.m. - 3rd Saturday Vintage + Maker Market
• 5-9 p.m. - Home Brewed: CNOTE Art Spectacular

Distillery Tours and Tastings at Liberty & Plenty

• Every Saturday, 10-10:30 a.m. and 11-11:30 a.m.

Events at Mettlesome

• 7:30-8:30 p.m. - House Party
• 8:30-9:30 p.m. - Harold Night
• 9:30-10:30 p.m. - Mint Condition Standup Showcase

Events at The Fruit

• 5-8 p.m. - Menace To Society Album Listening Party
• 7:30-10 p.m. - HUMP! Film Festival
• 10 p.m. - 2 a.m. - Puro Perreo Pari

Events at The Pinhook

• 7:30 p.m. - Boogie Burly Nights... A Groovy 70s Show
• 10:30 p.m. - Drake and Friends 2

Guided Walking Tours with Triangle Adventures

• 2 p.m. - Downtown Durham Walking Tour
• 4 p.m. - Durham African American History Tour
• 6 p.m. - Downtown Durham True Crime Tour

7 a.m.
Lookin For A Cure at Bull City Running Company-South
8 a.m.
Durham Farmers' Market at Durham Central Park
parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park
9 a.m.
South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
10 a.m.
Pop Up Record Show at Beer Durham
Durham's Home Goods Market at Black Wall St Gardens
Bear Awareness Week at Museum of Life and Science
10:30 a.m.
Mother's Day Brunch at The Durham Hotel
11 a.m.
Battle of the Blades 2024 at Historic Durham Athletic Park
12 p.m.
Springtime Outdoor Market at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
1 p.m.
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Say It With Glass Workshop - Sam Nguyen at Moon Dog Meadery
Bimbé Celebration at Rock Quarry Park
2 p.m.
Closing Reception — Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery
Durham "Bullpen" Treasure Hunt - Walking Team Scavenger Hunt! at Fullsteam Brewery
3 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Family Fun Saturday: May Flowers at Guglhupf Restaurant
5 p.m.
Rooftops and Alleyways Community Canvas Wall Brawl at Dashi
Durham Blues & Brews Festival at Durham Central Park
Hops & Blues at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
6 p.m.
The Moon Unit and Tarot with Emily at Arcana
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Crones of Anarchy: Blues, Rock, Americana at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
7:30 p.m.
Jim Ketch Swingtet at Sharp 9 Gallery
Big Birthday Dance Party: Combo Platter with 2 Sides at The Blue Note Grill
8:15 p.m.
BBYMUTHA: Sleep Paralysis Tour 2024 at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
Fortune Factory Presents: Taurus Dance Party at Rubies on Five Points

Sunday, May 19

Events at Atomic Empire

• 11:30 a.m. - Star Wars: Shatterpoint Tournament
• 12 p.m. - Battletech Campaign Day
• 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 2-4 p.m. - Hammered Trivia with Casey
• 4-8 p.m. - The Blood Connection Blood Drive

10 a.m.
Jazz Brunch at Lula & Sadie's
10:30 a.m.
Al Strong Presents Jazz Brunch at Alley Twenty Six
12 p.m.
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
Sunday Dollar Bin Sale for Charity at Rumors Durham
Supernatural Sunday - Psychic Affair + Healers Market at Weldon Mills Distillery
Farmers Market at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery
12:15 p.m.
Public Tour at Duke Chapel
2 p.m.
Hillandale Golf Beginner Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
3:30 p.m.
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Showings at Scripps: Miguel Gutierrez at ADF's Samuel H. Scripps Studios
Carmina Burana at Baldwin Auditorium
Día de las Madres Kermes at El Futuro’s Therapeutic Green Space
String Break at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Emma Jane's EP Release Show and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Open Mic Night at Moon Dog Meadery
7 p.m.
DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center

Running Art Exhibit

Hometown (Inherited): Ten Year Retrospective at The Fruit

• This project examines the changing landscape of our city through a series of forty mixed media pieces the artist has created since 2014.
• Third Friday openings on Apr 19 and May 17, 6-9 p.m.
• Drop-in by appointment and Wednesdays 4-7 p.m.
• Free admission

Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery

• Each piece begins as a photograph, which is then printed on acrylic and worked with a variety of paints and compounds to create a unique surface.
• Sat, May 4 - Sat, May 18
• Free admission

Constellations: 40 Years of Explorations within Sacred Geometry by Steven Ferlauto at Horse & Buggy Press and Friends

• Sacred Geometry is an ancient field of physics whose equations are expressed through shape. Shape is a way to explore the universal fabric of our existence.
• Sat, May 4 - Sat, June 1
• Free admission

It Ain’t All Black And White at DAG Truist Gallery

• It Ain’t All Black and White is a photography exhibition that encourages us to consider emotions such as serenity, apprehension, yearning, and more.
• Captured by 11 dynamic photographers dedicated to documenting the fullness and complexity of Black life, this exhibition offers each of us an opportunity to see ourselves with renewed attention.
• Thu, Apr 25 - Sun, June 2

María Magdalena Campos-Pons: Behold at Nasher Museum of Art at Duke University

• María Magdalena Campos-Pons: Behold is a monographic exhibition of a visionary voice in photography, immersive installation, painting and performance.
• Thu, Feb 15 - Sun, Jun 9
• Every week, Tue-Sat 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun 12-5 p.m.
• Free admission

Counterpoints at Durham Bottling Co.

• Counterpoints is a curated showcase of local AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) artists, delving into the convergence of AAPI identity and mental health. Inspired by the intricate layers of musical counterpoint, its purpose is to weave together diverse narratives and confront the stigma surrounding mental health within our communities.
• Wed, May 1 - Sun, June 16
• Mon - Fri, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Cameron Elyse's Divine Nine Legacy Memoir Exhibition at Hayti Heritage Center

• The Divine Nine Legacy Memoir delves deep into the history of the National Panhellenic Council (NPHC) or "Divine Nine," a collective of nine Greek Letter organizations founded on May 10th, 1930.
• These organizations were born out of the necessity to provide a voice for Black American students within the collegiate space. United by principles of service, community, brotherhood, and sisterhood, the Divine Nine work collectively to uplift society through acts of service to underserved areas across the nation.
• Fri, Apr 19 - Sat, June 1
• Free admission

So for context I’m 39, was obsessed with Raw during the attitude era, ordered every PPV and recorded them on VHS, and around my early 20s is when I started losing interest. (In my opinion there was a huge drop off in quality after Austin’s heel turn at mania and it wasn’t the same.) Now that I have my own kids (son 11 and daughter 9) we started watching it religiously again (going to our first Raw tonight in Greenville, stoked!).
I know nostalgia can be a hell of a drug, so was the attitude era really THAT good or is it just nostalgia talking. Well after watching a ton of attitude era Raws on PPV over the last few weeks, the short answer is.. Yes, it was glorious! Below are my takeaways.
This will be unpopular to say and many of you will disagree, but many of the main stars of today would have been mid carders at best during the attitude era.
I mean my god, the supreme talent that the “big 3” had (Austin/HHH/Rock) was just otherworldly. The in ring talent, the charisma, the acting. Truly once in a generation roster. It would be equivalent to having Larry Bird, Michael Jordan and Lebron James all in their primes at the same time and on the same team. They were just that good at EVERYTHING.
Mid carders of then are equal to the main eventers now in terms of talent, Ken Shamrock, Big Bossman, Test, Val Venis (I wish we had a cringe sexual character like him now, was so fun lol) pretty much all of D Generarion X. I mean, I just watched a European title match with X PAC vs Al snow for the European title, and Snow and Golddust had a an angle where he stole Al Snow’s head and it was just entertaining as hell for some reason.
The announcers, Jim Ross combined with Lawler was pure gold. Nothing and I mean NOTHING gave you goosebumps more than hearing Stone Cold’s glass shatter and Jim Ross’s commentary. NOTHING like it.
Less women BUT the women that did actually wrestle were amazing. Lita, Sable, Luna, Trish and Chyna. Sure there are way more women now but I can count maybe 5, 6 tops that I consider memorable. Becky, Rhea, Nia Jax, Liv, Bianca and Jade. After them, there is a big drop off in talent imo.
The Factions! The corporation and DX, need I say more? The Corporation is by far the most memorable and entertaining faction hands down.
Overall just the energy, the crowd, the sense that nearly every match there was so much at stake and the wrestlers cared. The Rivalries really made you believe that they absolutely hated each other. Rock and mankind I quit match at the Rumble, I mean does it get any better than that?
I could go on and on, I’m not trashing the current product at all. Me and my son enjoy it immensely and we watch every single raw and smackdown and I am so pumped about going to Raw tonight. I do understand that eras are eras for a reason and all good things always come to an end, so this isn’t just an old guy trash talking the current product as it is still very good! I just wanted to take a trip down memory lane and share my two cents.

So for context I’m 39, was obsessed with Raw during the attitude era, ordered every PPV and recorded them on VHS, and around my early 20s is when I started losing interest. (In my opinion there was a huge drop off in quality after Austin’s heel turn at mania and it wasn’t the same.) Now that I have my own kids (son 11 and daughter 9) we started watching it religiously again (going to our first Raw tonight in Greenville, stoked!).
I know nostalgia can be a hell of a drug, so was the attitude era really THAT good or is it just nostalgia talking. Well after watching a ton of attitude era Raws on PPV over the last few weeks, the short answer is.. Yes, it was glorious! Below are my takeaways.
This will be unpopular to say and many of you will disagree, but many of the main stars of today would have been mid carders at best during the attitude era.
I mean my god, the supreme talent that the “big 3” had (Austin/HHH/Rock) was just otherworldly. The in ring talent, the charisma, the acting. Truly once in a generation roster. It would be equivalent to having Larry Bird, Michael Jordan and Lebron James all in their primes at the same time and on the same team. They were just that good at EVERYTHING.
Mid carders of then are equal to the main eventers now in terms of talent, Ken Shamrock, Big Bossman, Test, Val Venis (I wish we had a cringe sexual character like him now, was so fun lol) pretty much all of D Generarion X. I mean, I just watched a European title match with X PAC vs Al snow for the European title, and Snow and Golddust had a an angle where he stole Al Snow’s head and it was just entertaining as hell for some reason.
The announcers, Jim Ross combined with Lawler was pure gold. Nothing and I mean NOTHING gave you goosebumps more than hearing Stone Cold’s glass shatter and Jim Ross’s commentary. NOTHING like it.
Less women BUT the women that did actually wrestle were amazing. Lita, Sable, Luna, Trish and Chyna. Sure there are way more women now but I can count maybe 5, 6 tops that I consider memorable. Becky, Rhea, Nia Jax, Liv, Bianca and Jade. After them, there is a big drop off in talent imo.
The Factions! The corporation and DX, need I say more? The Corporation is by far the most memorable and entertaining faction hands down.
Overall just the energy, the crowd, the sense that nearly every match there was so much at stake and the wrestlers cared. The Rivalries really made you believe that they absolutely hated each other. Rock and mankind I quit match at the Rumble, I mean does it get any better than that?
I could go on and on, I’m not trashing the current product at all. Me and my son enjoy it immensely and we watch every single raw and smackdown and I am so pumped about going to Raw tonight. I do understand that eras are eras for a reason and all good things always come to an end, so this isn’t just an old guy trash talking the current product as it is still very good! I just wanted to take a trip down memory lane and share my two cents.

This is a viral TikTok/YouTube couple: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/jIEPOMmE_t0
I know it’s a JOOOOOOKE, but for some reason it would no longer be a JOOOOOOOKE if the man was the one acting like the woman in this video. I have a suspicion the comment sections would be more like “leave him sis!” “This is how it starts!” “Blink twice if you need help!”
I once dated a girl like this. She even “jokingly” say, “I’ll kill you” or “playfully” hit me.
But if you peel behind the curtain, what these women are doing is making their husbands fear them subconsciously. It’s a power play to establish dominance.
Look at the way he flinches when she’s about to strike him. He logically knows she’s not going to hurt him but subconsciously, he has some fear of her.
I’m not trying to judge this couple - for all we know they’re doing dumb shit for views. I was more trying to illustrate what manipulation through violence and fear can look like in relationships.
Isn’t it funny that women openly say “I’ll kill you if you have an affair”, but if a man were to say that, he’s abusive and violence.
Even without threat of violence, women often use emotional tantrums to strike fear into men to get them to do something or say something or not say something. So many games.
My advice: if anyone strikes you like this “playfully” in a relationship - sternly look at them and tell them, “cut that shit out” and walk away.
Why would women call this abuse if a man did this to them? It’s because they understand these mind games all too well.

Reddit Account: u/Laughingstag
Discord Tag: imaginarysage
Name and House: Daemon Tarreos
Age: 31
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: White hair and piercing blue eyes mark his heritage. He cuts a solid figure of a professional soldier, considered very fit. Since becoming an officer, he's let his hair grow to his shoulders, though he's known to tie it up. The most striking part of him is his wardrobe - a white tiger pelt cloak that he wears draped over his shoulders, a gift from his adopted father.
Trait: Charismatic
Skill(s): Tactician, Prudent, 2H, Cunning(e)
Talent(s): Language: Westerosi Common, Poetry, Fishing
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Praetor of the Lost Legion, the White Tiger, Blade Steward of Ērinnon
Starting Location: Opening event

Biography

Daemon Tarreos, born Daemon of Tyria, was the son of a blacksmith and the great grandson of a legionnaire from the old city of Tyria. Born 6 BC, Daemon was not even out of his smallclothes when the Tyroshi, the Braavosi, and the Durrandons and Targaryens visited fury and fire upon the Volantese, ending its near five decade long uninterrupted control over two of Valyria's daughters and his homeland of Achissa. In the uncertainty and violence that followed, it was only the Lost Legion, a renowned mercenary company structured like the Lockstep Legions of old, that shielded their town.
This inspired Daemon. And by the time he was ten, he'd made up his mind. He was going to be a Legionnaire. By the age of fourteen he'd take steps in making his dream reality, attempting to train in the Legion's fort. He found himself adept with weapons, and his insistence on training did not go unnoticed. He had caught the attention of then praetor of the Tiger Banner, Aelyx Tarreos. A commander of high standing in both the Legion and town of Achissa, he had taken the young Daemon under his wing, earning him the nickname 'Tiger Cub'.
In 17 AC, at the age of 23, Daemon would be named a Sword of the Corps for the Tiger Banner thanks to his cunning mind and Aelyx's tutelage and in 18 AC, Aelyx would become the Legate of the Legion. He appointed Daemon to serve as his Quaestor, managing logistics for the Legion and serving as a higher officer. It was during this time that he served with distinguished service, managing the operations of the Legion in the Disputed Lands. Life moved quickly for Daemon, and he would marry. In 19 AC, he would welcome a daughter into the world, but at the cost of his love who died shortly after childbirth.
After multiple successful campaigns, Aelyx would surprise Daemon by choosing to name his heir, adopting him and allowing him to take his name in the year 20 AC. Unfortunately, not long after in 23 AC disaster would strike: the city of Achissa would come under threat by mercenaries, its position coveted by the regional powers of Myr and Tyrosh. The Legion would make a daring stand at the fields of Achissa but it was for not. Defeated, the Legion made a hasty retreat to Achissa and began the process of evacuating in an attempt to spare the Achissans the fate of slavery.
Getting assistance from the Blue Sails, the remnants of the Legion regrouped in Plankey Town, but had been decimated. Among the casualties was Aelyx Tarreos and the majority of the Banner of the Bull. Embittered by the loss of Achissa, Daemon pledged to find a new home - for his daughter, and his people. Donning the mantle of the White Tiger, Daemon would sway the Officers of the Tiger Banner into naming him Praetor. Unfortunately, a stalemate grew between the three remaining Praetors. No Legate would be elected. As to the fate of Ērinnon, the sword that never surrenders, it has ended up in Daemon's capable hands until such a time a legate is named.
The Legion has, since, wandered Westeros, taking work primarily in the destabilized Reach and attempting to regrow their number and establish their reputation again. The Achissan refugees, serving as camp followers and laborers, are never far behind eagerly awaiting their chance to take back their home. But, among servants and officers, it's whispered that Daemon in particular has become more attached to the foreign land than the other two Praetor, and may seek to find his home here under the last Dragonlords - a rumor that could become reality should he become the next Legate.

Timeline

• 6 BC: Daemon is born to Daeron of Tyria, a blacksmith in Achissa.
• 8 AC: Daemon begins visiting the Legion's fort and demanding to train. his prowess catches the eye of trainers and Aelyx Tarreos
• 12 AC: Daemon formally joins the Tiger Banner and is tutored by then Praetor Aelyx.
• 17 AC: Daemon becomes a Sword of the Corps.
• 18 AC: Daemon is named Quaestor of the Legion after Aelyx becomes the Eighth Legate.
• 19 AC: Daemon's wife, Jaehaera, passes away while giving birth to their daughter, Mae.
• 20 AC: Aelyx Tarreos adopts Daemon into his family, allowing him to take his name.
• 23 AC: The Legion is nearly destroyed at the Battle at the Fields of Achissa. The Legion evacuates the city of Achissa and regroups in Westeros. Daemon becomes the Praetor of the Tiger Banner.
• 24 AC: The Legion takes work in the Reach fighting bandits and attempts to recoup its losses.
• 25 AC: The Legion makes camp outside King's Landing, hoping to take advantage of the upcoming festivities and gather recruits and patronage in equal amounts.

Archetypes

• Aemond Volaerys, Commander - The stern Praetor of the Elephant Banner and the senior most of the three Praetors, Aemond is aging but his mind is still sharp. In the twilight of his life he has vowed he will take back Achissa or die in the process - so long as he may be buried there with his men once it's said and done.
• Lucerys Montekar, Scholar - The current Quaestor of the Legion, Lucerys is a tight lipped and perpetually frowning young man who has been charged with managing logistics and arms of the Legion and, since the flight from Achissa, is charged with overseeing the refugees and managing their resources. He's become skilled with bookkeeping, at least.

Auxiliary Character

Name and House: Baelon the Butcher
Age: 40
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Standing over six foot two, Baelon cuts a powerful figure. He is dark of hair with violet eyes and is said to have a beard. Few outside of the Legion's command structure have seen him without his brass mask depicting a bearded man, an artifact of forgotten times. It's resulted in a number of rumors about his appearance, with many believing him to be scarred or suggest he's suffering from grayscale, and more outlandish rumors being that there's more than one Baelon.
Trait: Unscrupulous
Skill(s): Tactician, 2H (e)
Talent(s): Language: Westerosi Common, Military Philosophy, Fishing
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Praetor of the Lost Legion, the Dragon Praetor
Starting Location: Opening Event

Biography

Baelon's youth is shrouded in mystery. Surfacing in the year of 5 AC, Baelon swiftly rose in the ranks of the Dragon Banner. Characterized by his strange mask and armor, he became known in his youth for his savage nature on the battlefield, cleaving men in two with his large sword. This translated to his tactics once he was promoted to an officer, where he touted the theories of Baelor the Brass Dragon, a Commander known for his brutal approach to conducting war.
Burning farms, severing supply lines, taking no quarter, and liberating slaves of the enemy combatants were fundamental to his approach to warfare in the Disputed Lands - to make it unprofitable and bloody for the enemies. His unscrupulous nature saw a meteoric rise and he would become a Praetor at only 25, the youngest to have successfully done so.
Unlike the other two Praetors, while he has sympathy toward the plight of the Achissans, he believes that the Legion is still an army first and foremost, and rejects the idea of settling. This is not entirely unpopular with the Legion's younger soldiers and officers, especially as the town of Achissa falls further and further into the past. It's possible that, should he become Legate that this will be the future of the Legion - an army with no state forever more.

Timeline

• 5 AC - Baelon joins the Legion at the age of 20.
• 8 AC - Baelon's prowess on the battlefield earns him a promotion - and a reputation
• 10 AC - Baelon becomes the Praetor of the Dragon Banner and implements his brutal strategies on the field.
• 23 AC - Baelon helps evacuate Achissa, joins his brothers in Westeros.
• 24 AC: The Legion takes work in the Reach fighting bandits and attempts to recoup its losses.
• 25 AC: The Legion makes camp outside King's Landing, hoping to take advantage of the upcoming festivities and gather recruits and patronage in equal amounts.

Truly, my friends, I firmly believe that the best thing we can do is simply NOT TALK about it. I know how unfair the treatment we receive from society is due to the simple fact that so many centimeters separate our heads from the ground. I know how helpless and demoralized we feel being discarded by women due to a factor we never chose and cannot control. And even more, I understand how frustrating it is to know that even putting our best efforts into looking good, being good people, and being successful and exemplary men does not free us from being rejected by the majority of women just for the one thing we cannot change. I could talk all day about the countless injustices and inequalities we face every day, but I have come to the conclusion that the best thing we can do, and I mean this completely... Is not to talk about it, if we are offended. for the typical insensitive people on tiktok mocking and denigrating us for our height, let's not answer. If a woman makes fun of short men on Instagram, DO NOT RESPOND, let's not give more visibility to the issue, the only thing we do is increase the morbidity even more, it is giving fuel to the belief that being with a short man is something not desirable. The more we talk about the topic, the more common the discussion becomes, the more whiny and caricatured the short kings will be, the more bullying there will be... Let's simply ignore the people who minimize us for it, no matter how many people they are, yes They notice that we are offended or that it bothers us, the more reasons we give them to continue doing their shit. that's all.

This is long so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this and respond.
I’m (F, mid 40s) seeing a guy in his mid 30s and it’s been going on for about a year. Told me up front he wasn’t looking for a relationship and wanted to focus on finishing his degree. I respected it although I liked him a lot initially and saw potential. I really didn’t know what my intentions were when we met either and wasn’t looking for anything serious. We instantly formed a pretty unique connection and I wanted to know him better. I was several years out of a relationship and not attached to anyone in any way. It just felt like good timing to try seeing someone again. He also was unattached and hadn’t had a girlfriend for 2 years.
Initially it started as hooking up and then we started doing more friend-like activities. In hindsight, it should have ideally been the other way around but we were instantly very physically attracted to each other. That rarely happens for me. This dude is pretty much the male version of me in a lot of ways, and our differences in personality are just interesting enough to not have things be boring. We have so many common interests and our time together just flows easily. We can roast each other playfully without hurt feelings which is really top tier. No subjects of discussion seem to be off limits. He’s traveled a lot and done a lot of things with his life and it seems like he’s slowed down a lot in the past year to be more focused on himself and his family. He has a great relationship with his mother. It’s really great to spend time with someone who is intelligent, funny, creative and talented all in one person. I never get sick of him.
Obviously I developed deeper feelings over time, didn’t really see it coming. I just really love the time we spend together and there’s a lot of things about him that make me think we could be happy together at some point in the future. There’s also a lot that’s standing in the way right now. He affirmed a few months back that he still isn’t ready for a relationship but tells me he loves me, does nice things for me, fixed my car, has taken care of me when I was sick, is thoughtful, an actual gentleman (opening doors, “text me when you get home”type stuff), talks about possible future plans (like moving closer to where I live) and we communicate occasionally about hypothetical relationship scenarios.
The sex is really very intimate in an emotional sense. Lots of kissing, declarations of feelings, consideration of each other’s pleasure. Some of the deepest conversations we’ve had have been during sex. We communicate and check in with each other throughout and we always give instructions on what feels good/what doesn’t. This really makes for some of the best sex I’ve ever had.
I’ve never had a relationship like this before but I guess young people call these “situationships”? They can be very confusing and also great in a lot of ways. I don’t have anyone telling me when to be somewhere or anxiously checking on me constantly wondering what I’m doing. I have a lot of freedom to be alone and be myself. But also a lot of feelings. I do find myself thinking about him a lot and wishing we could spend more time together. He often tells me he misses me. We text and talk on the phone fairly regularly but not every day.
He says he’s not seeing other people and is kind of a recluse. I can pull up on him anytime and usually he’s home. When I come over he doesn’t seem to mind if I stay for multiple days. He seems a little sad when I leave. We don’t live super close to each other so we only see each other once a week or every other week. It’s always at his place. We do leave the house together to go shopping or get food, but not like on super romantic dates. We’ve been seen in public together. There’s no signs of other women having been in his house. He gives me gas money if I drive out of my way to come over. He is and always has been very financially generous with whatever he has available, and I’ve bought him some thoughtful, practical gifts that he always says he doesn’t want me to spend my money on but ultimately seems grateful for. This man has spent thousands of dollars on hanging out with me. When he does anything creative or productive in his life, he tells me about it like he wants me to be proud of him. I’ve met some of his friends and family members. They all seem cool and they seem to like me too.
I had to finally have a big conversation with him about what everything means and where it’s going because I was tired of being emotionally confused, and we’ve determined that things are not at the point of progressing further, but we also cannot leave each other alone. Having the information about where we stand has made me less anxious but also there’s a part of me that’s like “why am I still doing this?”.
I’ve cut him off like 3 or 4 times due to the lack of commitment/relationship compatibility but he will always find a way back into my life saying “I’m not letting you go”, “I move very slowly until I’m completely comfortable with someone”, “things can always change in the future” and that no matter what he will always be there for me and he worries about me when we don’t communicate. He has said “we don’t have to have sex every time you come over”. Aside from that, we cuddle and talk about deeper things, our past experiences and emotions. I can hold him accountable and he doesn’t get defensive. I always sleep over. We have established boundaries, and sleeping positions lol It’s clearly not just about sex. We genuinely care about each other and are supportive of each other’s happiness and goals. We can be creative together too and share some hobbies.
I do NOT do wife type things at his house. I’ve never cooked for him, cleaned his house or did his laundry. I told him I don’t do those things at men’s houses and he said “Good. You should just relax when you’re here”. He does not want or expect me to do anything for him. He has cooked for me though. I’m certain he’s not trying to use me for my labor.
The reasons he claims he doesn’t want a full on committed relationship seem to keep shifting. At first it was about school. Then it was he’s terrified of being hurt. He has claimed to be “confused”. Then he said he doesn’t want to change up his whole life and routine because someone else is around. Then it was that he wants to have kids and I don’t want anymore kids. I’ve told him a few times that he should go find whoever he wants to be with/commit to and he insists he’s never met anyone who’s “on my level” and isn’t trying to find anyone else. I haven’t pressured him to be monogamous, yet he says he prefers to be. He brought up monogamy before I did. I’ve only asked for honesty and safety.
The reasons I don’t logically want a relationship with him at this point is that I’m pretty traditional in the sense that I want to fully commit to someone who can financially support me and with him still in school that’s not possible. When he graduates he will be very financially comfortable and has had decent paying jobs in the past. He’s not a bum who’s never accomplished anything and he can support himself. I think in the meantime, not having as much money as he’s used to really bothers him. He has said before that I deserve to be taken care of. I have a very physically demanding job and would like to focus on other projects and he understands.
We align a lot on values and some goals but having kids with him (or anyone) doesn’t seem like a great idea for me at this point in my life. I’d be sad if he moved on but if what he truly wants is to have his own kids (not just be a stepdad), he should have that experience. I truly want him to achieve everything he wants in life.
Also he drinks more than I would like. I’d want him to have a plan to get sober or at least drink less. He’s not mean or all that different personality-wise when he’s drunk but he forgets a lot of details about things. He loses track of time often. I also worry about his health.
He admits that he should stop drinking and has made some attempts since I’ve known him but they are short lived. The days when he’s sober are really cool and I tell him how much I prefer to be around him when he’s not drinking. I’m very encouraging without shaming him. I’ve empathized with how hard it must be to stop. I’ve offered my help and given him tangible resources. He’s clearly not ready. He is so gentle and sweet but obviously he needs to quit for himself and to be fully mentally and emotionally present in a relationship.
I know at this point a relationship isn’t a good idea, but I feel like at the very least I’m still enjoying our time together and I know we care about each other. I always want to remain friends at least. I just can’t seem to stay away from him even if I’m aware that it may not go anywhere substantial. When I try to create space, he literally begs me to come back. I’m fully aware that I deserve someone who is ready for a relationship and can be more mentally and financially able now, not maybe in the future.
I’m not fully cutting off the idea of dating (not sleeping with) other people for him. We agreed to be monogamous sexually but he said it’s fine if another guy takes me on a date. He said he’d want to know about it so he can give his opinion on whether the guy is safe/good enough for me or not. I once told him I met a guy at my job and he groaned about it and seemed disappointed until I finished telling him it didn’t go anywhere lol
I don’t want to sleep around but I don’t want to waste time by waiting for someone who may not change in a way that makes us more compatible in a relationship. I haven’t asked him to change but also let him know my standards and criteria. I also have this opposing feeling like I should be patient and see how things unfold for him in his life. I want to see him grow and become the best version of himself, whether we are together or not. We’ve developed a pretty significant bond that I don’t feel I can replace with anyone else. I want to be around to encourage him and be part of his support system. I like knowing I can rely on him to be a safe, generous and affectionate/caring person who always wants the best for me (and my kids) too. We challenge each other in the best ways, and don’t seek to control each other. We are mutually meeting several needs, just not all of them.
What’s the best way to handle this? Do I fully stop seeing him and move on completely with a broken heart or just keep seeing where it goes with an open mind for other options? Is it even possible to let anyone else into my life when I’m spending time, energy and emotions on this guy? Can anyone provide any insight into what might be going on for him on a deeper level? With some objective opinions maybe I can form a clearer understanding of where I need to go with this. I guess I’m old school and hate the idea of throwing good people away even if they aren’t in a place where I’d prefer them to be. I’m trying to look at his actions and not his words but it’s hard to see the big picture when there’s feelings involved.

Reddit Account: kgdaguy
Discord Tag:justkaegjuice
Name and House: Aelor Belaerys
Age: 25
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Silver hair kept short but wild in appearance, purple eyes and of average height. Prefers to wear an amethyst in his right ear ensnared by a white serpent, similar to that of his house banners and rarely ever without perfumed attire.
Trait:Agile
Skill(s):Dragonrider, Nimble, Skulker, Ravenmaster, Infiltrator
Talent(s): Fishing, Painting, Likes to sing but not the best at it.
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Heir to Aegon’s Rest, The Father’s Flame, Dragonlord
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Aelor Belaerys was born on Dragonstone to Baelor and Baela Belaerys. His father was occupied marching with the Targaryens leaving his mother to birth the child with the aid of Dragonstone servants. He would be the eldest of their two children with his sister Aelora being born a few years after and from a young age, Aelor was expected to follow in the footsteps of many Belaerys before him.
He was set to be a warrior, a man sworn to serve the Targaryens with nothing but a farm to his name. A faded legacy clung onto his name but even young, his mother would often tell him that she’d prayed to Arrax, the father of all Valyrian people, that her child, her jewel, would one day find great power and restore their house to its former glory.
For seven years he’d live on Dragonstone and for a short period in Aegonsfort before the King was killed, by Tullys they’d claimed. Aelor was too young to understand what had happened but he remembers his family moving to the Riverlands where they ‘had a new home’ given to them by Visenya Targaryen, the Warrior Queen.
Life seems perfect for Aelor who has taken to the role of heir quickly. Where he was once destined to learn how to wield a blade, instead Aelor found himself a fan of the finer arts, things like painting, singing and singing had filled his time. That bothered his father who believed that his heir needed to be a strong knight in hopes of filling his boots upon his death.
That displeasure grew into rage when the Maesters told Baelor that Aelor would often ignore lessons, when their Master-at-Arms told him that Aelor skipped training sessions and worse when Aelor instead skipped lessons and training all together to paint a ruined tower of Aegon’s Rest.
But before Baelor could lash out, his beloved Baela would die unexpectedly, the cause unknown but natural according to the Maesters. This alone would give Aelor a few years of reprieve from punishment as Baelor pulled his claws away from all his children and focused on his lordship.
They’d return when Aelor was fourteen however when the boy had begun to spend too much time with the Rivermen smallfolk in one village or another. By this point the Maesters had grown tired of Aelor, he was rebellious, quick to let his temper run wild and worse, dyslexic which made learning a battle in itself.
For all the perceived problems that Aelor had caused his father, Baelor decided the only way to correct the boy was lock him away in the castle and ensure he was taken to all his lessons by a flock of servants, but unlike the ones from the Riverlands, Baelor ensured only men and women from Dragonstone and Driftmark surrounded the boy.
In 16 AC, after four years of trying to correct Aelor’s foolishness, Baelor finally had enough after Aelor’s constant escapes, ploys and just in general sheer dimwittedness he decided it was time to replace him as heir and worked on getting remarried, asking the Queen Rhaenys to aid him in finding a wife amongst the Westermen.
And so Baelor brought Aelor into his solar, where he’d tell his son plainly that he’d found a match in Jeyne Westerling. Expecting the boy to lash out, he’d run around the fact but eventually he’d say it plainly. Aelor would no longer be his heir when their son was born, he would lose his inheritance for he was a dimwit, a shame upon their house and a disappointment to his father.
Aelor would never forget those words.
He’d gathered plate armor, a sword and some gold, much to his siblings, cousins and uncles dismay and ran off to King’s Landing. Few knew his surname when he’d arrived and that resulted in the young boy joining the first group of hedge knights he’d come across.
For six months he’d leap from one to another until he’d settled down with a group of older knights led by Ser Jon Costayne. A reachmen who’d jumped ship when Aegon first landed made for a perfect mentor to the young Belaerys, he was everything he’d wanted his father to be and Jon was in need of a squire so he’d take him in.
Life was sad and dark for him during the two years he’d spend as a hedge knight traveling the Crownlands and the Vale. At some point he’d even made it to White Harbor before sailing back go King’s Landing.
During his time with the band, the Costayne would often jokingly call him a Dragonlord, in part harmless joking but some bit of it often followed him telling the boy to make for Dragonstone to tame one of the beasts that lived there.
Jon would often say that Aelor and Aegon were only a few letters apart, why couldn’t the Belaerys take the Black Dread? When he’d tell him that the Queens would take his head, Jon would claim the Big Bitch could take both the Queens and then some.
Eventually those jokes however turned serious and Jon convinced him that the only way he’d get out of his slump, that he’d keep his inheritance was to take a dragon from the island Aelor once called him. Had it not been for news reaching him that his younger brother had been born, Aelor might have shrugged it off and kept to his lonesome life.
But the birth of Aegon Belaerys to Baelor Belaerys and Jeyne Westerling lit a fire under him. One fierce enough to cause him to make his way to Dragonstone, up the Dragonmont and into the lair of the a dragon he’d heard much of from his upbringing.
Veraxes
His mother used to tell him that there were two dragons that all the naughty boys and girls should avoid for fear that they would sense their bad tendencies and eat them whole. The first was Cannibal, a foul creature that ate it’s own kind and spared no little boy either. The second…now that one was one that used to scare him most as a boy.
But he was no longer a boy. He had sought her out. Brought with him meats from his family's old farm now run by the seeds of House Targaryen.
She was said to be ugly, that her belly was filled with cattle, children, and just about anything that bled. That she would eat until she was incapable of moving. The Golden Menace they’d call her for her tendency to burn those who came too close or simply bothered her while she ate elsewhere on the island.
He would see her as anything but a menace that day. Now her weight he couldn’t change but her demeanor was unlike what they’d all claimed it to be. The She-Dragon turned her gaze from the bones of cattle she was picking away at. Even in the dark lair he could see those bright golden eyes watching his every move.
She rushed forth, the ground shook with each step the rotund dragon took until she was practically atop Aelor and then she let out a snarl. He’d later learn that this was simply her way of telling him that he would not get her food, she’d taken it herself and not a soul could take it away from her.
Instead of growing fearful, Aelor held out the cows head for her. Veraxes thought he meant that he’d his own food which meant none of hers was going to be eaten. But then he’d throw it towards her. The first of many offerings he’d make to the dragon.
Over the entire night and next morning he’d slowly inch towards her, pushing her boundaries, each time feeding her as he got closer until he’d eventually be able to mount her the next day.
When she took off for the first time over Dragonstone he’d felt truly alive. He was the first Belaerys Dragonlord since the Doom and he felt great ecstasy for a few hours until he’d realized what this meant to the world at large.
Knowing that if he’d returned to King’s Landing Orys might just decide to kill him the moment he was away from her, Aelor flew home to Aegon’s Rest. There he’d find thousands of men camped outside his home, all prepared to wage a war he’d not heard of.
His uncle Baelon would be the first to see him atop the beast as he’d landed in a field. Aelor would tell him what happened and Baelon would tell the boy that he’d felt great pride in him but war had come and they needed that dragon more than they ever had.
His uncle would tell him that his father Baelor had sided with the Blackwoods in a dispute between them and the Brackens. The conflict had grown larger than just a petty squabble and houses from as far as the North had begun to march for one side or another.
It’d be then that he’d see his father at the gates of Aegon’s Rest, rushing towards him and it would be then that he’d make up his mind and climb back atop Veraxes. He’d wondered if this was what the first Dragonriders had felt like when they’d rode without a saddle.
As the Golden Menace took off and tents flew in all directions, he’d set his sights to the Northeast where he’d followed the River until he’d found a clash between the Brackens and Blackwoods. He’d imagined one side or the other and thought he’d come to help but the Veraxes had come for neither side, not here for either.
In the end, both forces would be given a simple demand. Return to your homes, embrace peace, or stick to your paths and enter the afterlife hand in hand.
All but a few chose to burn.
This would mark the day that the Aelor the world now knows was born. He’d taken inspiration from what he’d thought Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys had said to those they’d conquered and it had worked. It meant he was like them, a true Dragon in the flesh.
He’d return home after ending that war and write to the Targaryens and the Baratheon letting them know that he’d ended the conflict in the name of the Crown. A hope that it would be enough to placate them enough to ensure they did not hunt him down and it had worked.
His father Baelor seemed to have shifted his tone now that Aelor rode Veraxes, where he’d once called him a disappointment to their bloodline and their people, he’d now call him the saving grace of the House Belaerys.
Aelor did not take a liking to that change but he could not bring himself to say anything, negative nor positive about his father instead he’d simply asked to meet his younger brother Aegon. The boy was like him, silver haired and lilac eyes.
He’d wanted to hate him. To demand that his father send Jeyne off to the Silent Sisters and that the boy be given away to the Faith or the Maesters to do as they wished but he couldn’t bring himself to do that either.
Instead he’d told his father that Aegon’s Rest would be his when he’d died and just as quickly as he’d returned he’d left again. Travel called to him and he’d wanted to show Jon Costayne Veraxes.
He’d spend a few years embarking on his travels, though he’d long leave Jon behind after offering him a position in Aegon’s Rest. His travels would take him to much of the Westerlands, the Reach, the Vale and the Stepstones where he’d met the Queen Rhaenys for the first time. There he’d live for a short period where he’d partake in their parties, meet a girl called Zhoe Whitemane.
Funny thing she was. A Valyrian with the touch of the North. Quickly he’d befriend her and eventually before he’d departed back home, he’d find himself as being more than just the average friend, the type that held hands scandalously.
His return to the Riverlands marked an interesting period. Aelor flies to all it’s corners, no regard for which Lord Paramount claims what domain. The skies of the land that holds Rivers are his and all who sit below them are under his protection, often he’d say he does so in the name of the King but what King?
Only time can tell.

Timeline

0 AC - Born to Baelor and Baela Belaerys.
7 AC - Moved to Aegon’s Rest after King Aegon’s death.
12 AC - Mother dies.
14 AC - Vibes with the Smallfolk around Aegon’s Rest a bit too much for his father’s liking, gets told he cannot leave the keep without his permission.
16 AC - Father decides he’s a shit heir and wants a new one so he weds Jeyne Westerling causing Aelor to run off to King’s Landing.
18 AC - Aelor under pressure from Jon Costayne decides to snatch up Veraxes on Dragonstone the year his younger brother and replacement Aegon is born, securing himself as heir.
19 AC - Begins to travel Westeros, goes to Summerhall and finds out that parties are kind of cool. Meets Zhoe Whitemane and becomes her bff4life.
21 AC - Settles back into Aegon’s Rest.
25 AC - Present.
Family Tree
Name and House: Baelor Belaerys
Age: 45
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Long silver hair reaching his shoulders, purple eyes and a slender build. The Lord of Aegon’s Rest naturally appears unamused and irritated in appearance.
Trait:Inspiring
Skill(s): Tactician(e), Cavalryman
Talent(s): Fishing
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Lord of Aegon’s Rest
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Born twenty years prior to the Conquest to Monterys Belaery and his younger sister, Jaenara Belaerys. Baelor has two siblings, Baelon and a younger sister named Elaena. He spent his entire youth on Dragonstone until he’d grown to become a member of the household guard for the Targaryens.
During the Conquest, he’d land with Aegon at what is now known as King’s Landing with his father Monterys Balaerys, ever faithful warriors to the Kings cause. He'd die in the arms of his child during the Field of Fire.
He would go down as one of the hundred men who fell for Aegon against the Reach. Even now Baelor can recall the sight, he’d cut down two men when he’d witnessed his father fall as arrows riddle his aged body. Instead of pushing on and charging, Baelor would fall to his knees beside his father and seek to shield him as he looked up towards those banners in the distance.
A red huntsman preparing to let loose once more but then his savior would come. A bright flash turned everything in the distance into flame. He remembers men ablaze running in all directions as they cooked.
Aegon had burnt them too late but he did not blame his kin as his father died in his arms. This was the war they’d signed up for, the cause they’d devoted themselves to. All so they could fight and earn a place in what Monterys called the remaking of Valyria.
And so Baelor continued on in his father’s memory. Loyal and faithful as ever. When the Conqueror took the faith, so did he, when Aegon made North to face the Starks, he marched albeit well behind in the army.
Forever loyal to the cause that was Aegon Targaryen, as many were. But that cause would crumble when the Tullys killed his beloved King, a man he'd served, a man he'd die for, a True Dragonlord.
Much to Baelor's surprise he’d gain a Lordship, his line's long loyal efforts, their staunch desire to fight for the Targaryens and in truth partly sheer luck on his part given he was nothing but a knight swore to the Dragonlords had finally amounted to something.
Visenya would bestow upon him Aegon's Rest. To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. He had no great displays of valor, no moments where he’d made himself any more remarkable than any other man but the Queen had granted his line the burnt ruins of Riverrun, now named in the honor of the man he’d once served.
Still he knew that he was no true Lord, he was but a warrior who had served the Targaryens and he’d wanted his son to be more than that. He knew that his child could do what many before him had hoped for, that he could finally amount to something since the fall and this was his chance to make his ancestors proud.
The boy was young enough that he was easily shaped into the Westerosi way of life in the years following Aegon’s conquest. Aelor had to be a knight he’d thought, skilled in Rivermen matters, charming and bold. That was what Baelor had dreamt for Aelor but his son was anything but the making of a Knightly Statesmen.
Aelor was too slow with a blade, letters move about in his mind and made his Maesters grow tired of the boy and his temperament, oh how horrible the boy was they’d proclaim! Spoiled by his father and mother, by servants and smallfolk who’d thought him charming and sweet.
It was when his sister-wife died that Baelor would lessen his grip on Aelor. Grief overtook him and he’d hoped that would be the wake up call for Aelor but it wasn’t. The boy was a rebel, loved by the smallfolk but too darn incapable of being the perfect Lord he’d envisioned he’d be.
Many years later he’d decide he had enough. Baelor doesn’t recall calling his son a disappointment to his people but he did say the boy was not his heir and that he’d already found a new bride to make one with.
He’d wed Jeyne Westerling the next year and would sire a child with her the year after. They’d call him Aegon in honor of the Conqueror. It’d be months after the birth that he’d receive a letter from Raventree Hall asking for his assistance and given that he’d felt closer to the Blackwoods, Baelor would begin to raise his men in preparation for war.
That was when his son would return, a different man now with a dragon. He’d felt as if the dream had come true, that the House Belarys had returned to their true place on the food chain and he’d wanted to congratulate his son when he’d returned but Aelor fled, his brother Baelon would tell him that the younger Belearys had gone to fight the war.
That made him proud.
And that pride would shatter when Aelor returned and told him he’d stopped the war. The happy and charming boy stood before him stoic, quiet, as if he didn't want to be in the same room as him.
All his son would say was that he’d wanted to see his brother and he saw him. After that, Aelor would say Aegon’s Rest belonged to him and he’d have it once the old man died and that was rather sad to hear from one’s own son.
For years after Baelor would not see his boy but he’d hear that Aelor was see in this region or that region. He’d use the boon that came from having a dragonrider son to push himself into powerful places in various courts, Casterly Rock albeit he did not remain there long and of course across the Riverlands as a whole.
His goal was to display power through his son and even if he were away, he’d do it.
When Aelor returned he’d find that his son had forever been changed. No longer was he some great rebellious spirit but instead a man who believed himself better than even his own father. Some of the Smallfolk would even claim that he was the ‘Father’s Flame’.
They did not see his drinking albeit he’d stop eventually. They did not see how he’d carried himself as if he were some God.
Baelor knew that this was what every ancestor he’d had since the Doom had wanted but Aelor was different than most men now and that Veraxes was a pain in the ass to feed.

Timeline

20 BC - Born to Monterys and Jaenara.
2 BC - Sires the bastard Daemon which results in his parents wedding him to his sister, Baela the next year.
0 AC - Lands with Aegon and watches his father die in the Field of Flames due to the Reachmen.
7 AC - Aegon dies, he weeps for his King and Visenya grants him Aegon’s Rest. They dedicate a Dark colored sword akin to Dark Sister on their banners in her honor.
12 AC - Baela dies and he pulls away from his son Aelor.
16 AC - Tells Aelor to kick rocks and weds Jeyne Westerling.
18 AC - Aegon is born.
Baelon Belaerys - Magnate
Aemon Belaerys - Builder

Idk about you guys, but I’m kinda getting to a place where I’m so tired of and unamused with women. Ex and I have been separated for half a year or so. The relationship with her is impossible to put into words, but it’s atleast to a point where I’m fully detached from it and just watching her live in the world she crashed around her self. A few months ago if you had asked me, I would have said she’s moved on and into other dudes. Now, she goes on these sprees of anger and desperation whenever we go days without seeing each other, and tells me she needs a clean slate and “maybe one day we find our way back together”. Like throwing that at me assuming I am wanting us back together in the first place? I never say or imply that, so it leads me to believe she cannot get it off her mind and has to try make it seem like I’m the one wanting that. Then, when we’re together (for example Mother’s Day), she’s by my hip the whole time, stands close to me and puts her body on mine (mind you I do not give anything back) and wants to talk my ear off about everything. I do not fucking get it, and the only thing I can think is that she’s not over me, and is to afraid to just fucking say how she really feels because that would mean she would have to admit she was wrong.
One the other hand, I have a couple women who I’ve been talking to. One of which came over this past weekend, we had sex, which was great, but I felt literally nothing both during and after. I did the job, and I did it well, but I felt no connection or desire once we got into it. It was all there right up until the actual sex, but it was all gone shortly after it was in motion.
The following days since then I’ve just kinda sat here thinking, wow, I don’t give a fuck about any of these women anymore. I don’t miss my ex, and I don’t really care about new women. Pussy is great, but I think I’m so worn out from the separation that I’m like completely turned off at the idea of entertaining these hoes.
On a positive note to all of this, these emotions have allowed me and taught me not to chase at all. Sure as shit, now they’re chasing me and unfortunately I couldn’t give a fuck about any of them.
I feel like I should add that I am not depressed or sad, whatsoever. I’ve got my health back, financially I’m better than ever, new career that has been amazing, have my kids more than their mom does and we have tons of fun. I feel very happy, but I have the side of me that loves to fuck and loves to be around women.. so I’m confused now because I just feel completely worn out and have zero ability to deal with these ladies anymore.
Anyone else go through this? Am I an asshole?

TW STRANGULATION PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL/FINANCIAL ABUSE: long post I am sorry. I tried to be succinct and clear as possible so it might sound emotionaless but I am very much at my lowest in this moment. Thank you for reading.
Sorry idk if I need to put a TW... I don't know what to do I feel I have very limited options and am up against so much. I know I can go to a woman's shelter, but I'm afraid of having even less control of my life and putting my daughter through losing her dad. Im the sole breadwinner of the family and it's always been this way.. my husband says he can't work because he is trying to get on disability... which initially seemed ok I was ok with him being a stay at home dad and I didn't realize how bad it would get...... I bought us a 2 houses (but sold them) and own my own car(but took a secure loan out against it).... Leaving things out that lead up to losing all my savings, but... Short version: I was unemployed for a year).. In October 2023 I got a good job but then in jan 2024 I lost my job and had very little savings and extremely high rent($1900/mo). I made the decision to take a new job 1500 miles away in a new state and started the job in Feb '24... Then my dad died 3/22 and I lost my job 4/26. My dad was my only family. My mom died 24 years ago and I have no cousins or siblings or aunts or uncles.
On top of the abuse (which I'll go into more detail) it's been very hard to cope with the loss of my father, losing my job, and balancing and functioning in life and managing these stressors with no support. I don't have any friends up here or really any close friends down in my home state but do have maybe one person (they know and say they think it's a good idea if I leave my husband). I'm behind on rent and dont quality for unemployment. I'm scared of being evicted if I don't find a job fast and have been looking but haven't found anything yet ..... I'm also struggling with feelings of severe anxiety and depression and self esteem issues on top of grief and isolation and major life adjustments.... Yesterday on mother's day my husband and I got in a big argument over money and because I said I felt sad for missing my parents and also hopeless and was desperate for ANYONR and asked if he would support me... he said no... I then BEGGED HIM AND CRIED AND even raised my voice a bit. and so he told me I was acting crazy and started recording me standing there crying which made me so self conscious... Even though I knew it was a bad idea I brought up the time he told me he would kill me and also the day my dad died and how I asked if he could please just for one day not give me a hard time about talking to him about my feelings and he told me he was glad my dad died and that if I wanted to leave (we were driving) I should jump out of the car and kill myself.... he got mad and told me I take no accountability or responsibility for why he does and says that stuff..... then took the keys to the car and left (he uses the car as he pleases and that's fine, but I was about to run an errand so I asked where he was going). I was afraid to stop him or walk after him because last time I did that he choked me and when I was seeing a therapist he told me if I had to live with my husband I NEEDED TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT ESCALATION WHEN HES LEAVING I NEED TO LET HIM GO AND NO PURSUE OR TOUCH HIM (I E. Trying to grab the keys). He left but didn't drive away he walked down the street on the phone when I checked the window to see if the car was gone I saw him walking down the sidewalk past the car and was worried he was going to disappear again(he can leave it he wants. He's left for months at a time before always unannounced and will take things of mine with him like my antidepressants or personal meaningful items to hurt me I think or try and have powecontrol).... Anyways it turns out he called the cops (Idk what he told them and didn't really ask him after the fact) but when I saw the cops pull up I peaked my head out the door w/ our daughter w/ me coz I knew they'd ask to talk to me anyways.... And of course they were like "is that her? Hey can we talk with you separately" and I said yes and asked them to come into the porch area..... They asked me what happened that day and I told them we had a stupid disagreement etc and they asked me if I was taking any medication???? Which felt weird but I said yes prescribed antidepressants... I then said today is mother's day and my dad died in March and my mom has passed and I missed my parents and just lost my job and I was going thru so much and I asked him to spent time w him and he didn't want to do I kept insisting and he got upset and left (I was embarrassed to cry an lose composure in front of the police when. I didn't even really know what he could have told them or maybe lied about but I just couldn't help being honest and telling the truth I felt I had nothing to hide and it was okay I wasn't gonna be in trouble).... I also told them he choked me in Aug 2024 and was arrested then but the battery charge was dropped(the story is in more details below). And they asked me if I felt safe or if it got physical today and I said no... It hadnt.... They asked if I wanted women's shelter # and social worker # and if I wanted to talk to a counselor right then and there that they'd take me but I felt too scared to do that so I declined because also didn't wanna leave my daughter to do that but said id take the #)... I explained I was afraid to live in a shelter and I haven't left him is because he doesn't/won't work and someone has to financially support our daughter and since I have no other support and don't qualify for the childcare vouchers I applied for nor can I afford the $600+ daycare cost I feel like I can't leave my husband coz then how will our daughter be provided for if I can't work... because I can't work and care for her at the same time and am stuck right now(I SO VERY WISH I HAD THE PRIVILEGE TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM. MAD RESPECT FOR SAHM)... But I told them that on Monday (today) I had already planned to reach out and try find a therapist because it's literally the only consistent reliable emotional support I'll have in my life.(I have insurance til May 30th and then Medicaid kicks in).... And that's where I'm currently at with all this.... After the cops left he told me to my face that I had physically threatened him but that I just don't remember.... Which I know is not true I don't act that way and would and have never physically threatened someone in a fight.... Im scared.of fights.
Maybe Ancillary back story but written for context: Here is my backstory if it helps(what I told the police too... But they got shorter version)... I've been with my husband since June 2018. For some reason The first time I felt undeniably abused and mostly convinced it wasn't my fault was August 2024. My husband choked me and said he would kill me(our 2 y/o daughter was in her room playing and see hear it). But looking back now I think it's been escalating for a long time.
After he choked me it was all kind of a blur. But I DID call the police that time; I didn't want him to be arrested necessarily it was just a snap judgement and I was scared(he was arrested though and the cops took photos of the bruises on my neck). His mom bailed him out and I was afraid of him being homeless at that time in my life so I let him move back in with me even though it was illegal. He asked me to go to the court date and lie and said I made it up which I refused to do... But I did go to the hearing to ask the judge to remove the temporary protection injunction so we could reside together and that I wanted the charges dropped (God I feel so pathetic ) The judge removed the injunction, but he saw the photos the police took and the marks on my neck and refused to dismiss the domestic battery charge. The victims witness advocates who were also present in court said they objected because the battery was "strangulation to the point of leaving marks".... It was eventually dismissed jan2024 but not until after additional hearings with his court appointed lawyer present (I refused to testify).
I financially support my husband and our 3 y/o daughter. My husband has never worked since 2018. He is trying to get disability but even during financial hardships in our marriage he still refuses to work even part time or temporarily.
He tells me I abuse HIM and I take no accountability and our money problems are all my fault and that I'm an unfit mother.... Most of the time he doesn't talk or acknowledge much of what I say wether it's neutral or important.... I've been trying to talk to him to motivate him to help our family financially but driving for Uber a few nights a week for a couple hours while I keep trying to find ANY work and he always refuses to RESPECTFULLY DISCUSS ANY PRIBLEMS OUR FAMILY IS FACING. It feels so unfair and I feel alone.
He will swear at me and get in my face sometimes and says derogatory things to meand has degraded and humiliated me about my body or my mental health or when I buy a coffee or for having needs... Sometimes I tell him what he says is wrong and I refuse to talk back to him that way and he needs to apologize to me but he NEVER does and usually tells me to fuck off or fuck you or that I made up what I'm saying.... I don't beg for an apology coz it'll escalate the situation to the point it would put me in danger possibly.... My husband believes and tells me that it's my fault he treats me this way and it's because I don't take accountability for my actions or acknowledge anything I do wrong... Which is simply not factual. I am self aware and know I'm not perfect and don't always say or do the right thing and I make mistakes two.... I just lost two jobs in a row coz they weren't a good fit is what the employer told me both times 😭.
My husband says if he ever hurts me again that it's my fault for getting in his way and not listening it him and it's my responsibility to be accountable for my own safety.
He also tells me he wants to leave and will take our daughter w him but doesn't elaborate an im scared he will take her and leave while I'm taking a nap.... Twice I. Our marriage he moved out while I was napping and don't know where he went for months. I couldn't work during those times because I couldn't find childcare.
Also what if I do leave and take our daughter????? He also has no place to go and live and might be homeless so I'm afraid he could physically retaliate against me or worse. I don't really don't know what could happen.
Thank you for reading. Any perspective or advice or personally relating to my story would be helpful to me. I feel so very lost and isolated and depressed and just miss being an independent woman and being able to feel secure at home and not around a person who literally doesn't like me and will harm me unless I take it upon myself to protect myself ..

Hello, for context: my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. The beginning of our relationship was difficult, with many recurring conflicts. At the time, he used to hang out a lot with his friends who are all around their thirties. These are friends (not all of them) who do not respect women, they have prejudiced ideas that women are annoying, manipulative. They make sexist jokes and have this prehistoric view of women as homemakers, who cook, stay quiet, and are available when needed. In short: so at the beginning of our relationship, for about a year, we had a lot of conflicts because he did not respect me. Whenever I brought up things that hurt me or that wounded me (e.g., no more going out, no time together, being on his phone when I was trying to spend time together) he would tell me it was all in my head, that I needed to get out of my madness, that all this was in my world and that I needed to get out into the real world. In short, it reached a point where he called me mentally handicapped. Then I told him it was over. Afterward, the relationship greatly improved, I noticed in hindsight that it corresponded to the time he saw those friends less. We were really able to talk, to progress together. He became respectful and loving. Until last night, he went on an 8-day vacation with his friends. We saw each other last night, and it was as if he had returned to his other personality, we argued and he became cold, distant, and disrespectful again... Today we were supposed to spend the day together, we argued and he left me stranded at the restaurant. This evening I felt saddened by the situation and we decided to see each other tonight. (today I tried to tell him that I felt his friends might be a bad influence"none of his friends have managed to get a girlfriend; they are single and just drink and go out". But obviously, that only made the situation worse). The problem is; I don't want to relive what I went through in the past, but at the same time, I love him more than anything and he was the perfect boyfriend these last 6 months. I'm afraid he will take advantage of me again to hurt me.
** TL;DR; : After a rocky start due to his disrespectful behavior influenced by my boyfriend's misogynistic friends, our relationship improved significantly when he spent less time with them. However, following a recent vacation with these friends, his old negative behaviors resurfaced, leading to renewed conflicts between us , what should i do ? **.

This one might be a little long but I'll try to condense the story a bit.
That being said, me and two friends of mine were at each others work spaces one day talked before leaving for the end of the day. The topic of dating got brought up and we started talking about how height mattered a lot in dating and was basically one of the most important aspects of attracting a woman.
Now one of my friends is a 6 foot tyrone, and the other is a 5'5 cuban guy, I'm 5'5 and white. So me and the cuban guy are trying to convince our tyrone that you can't just improooove your way to being 6 foot and that women don't really care if you don't meet their minimum looks requirement (which is typically 8 inches taller than themselves). Now, Tyrone her is redpilled (he's actually the one who showed me that side of the internet), so his argument wasn't about whether or not height mattered his point was saying you could make up for it in other ways. Which you can't unless you're okay with betabuxxing your ass off.
Anyway, some becky on the cubicle near us overheard this conversation along with one of her friends and decided to go and report all three of us to our office section manager. Long story short we almost ended up getting fired because that hoe claimed she was oFfEnDeD about what we were talking about. The only reason that we didn't get fucked and nothing bad happened was because her stacylite friend had a thing for our Tyrone level buddy and managed to talk us out of it by saying her friend was overreacting.
The fact that we all could have been fired if that girl didn't like our friend is fucking insane and really shows that women hold way too much power in these kind of office spaces. There really needs to be something done about it because they basically have a "what sub5 male do I want to fire today" button and it's a bunch of bullshit.

Ok ,long story short i was in ldr for almost 4 and half year and recently i started asking questions about moving in together and so.My bf is basicaly finding all kinds of excuses to not do it,like rent is expensive ,he is still studying etc but they main problem our fucking WHOLE relationship is him having some wierd problem with my past relationships.He asked my about the number and i told him by the age of 28 i'v dated around 10 guys ,2 long relationships and other ones lasted just for couple of months.So he keeps pushing and telling me it is a big deal breaker ( he only had 2 girls before me ,but no long relationship) and just that thing escaleted and it is ruining our relatunship.I feel like he is basicaly revenging me cause i had past partners and doestn want to respect me or live with me or marry me cause of that.Other way he is great friend and all just has that wierd obssesion over idea that women shouldnt have partners before marriage.And man can ,lol.Ok so i told him i made mistakes in the past it wasnt intentional to have so many datings i was realy desperate for love back than and i cant change my past. But he keeps saying that these kinds of women dont deserve respect in marriage and you can even cheat them no metter if they are kind or good mothers or wife.Im blown away.I just felt so disgusted by this answer and i just told him if he doesnt want to respect me than he can walk away and he just said ok bye.It was over the text.It wasnt first time we fight about it but he just doesnt want to change his mind .It is really affecting my mental health,i am stuck in this relationship where he gives me crumbs only cause i dont have my virginity anymore ?! I even feel emberessed to write it .He is shaming me and now he just punishes me with no affection and love i want .So i had enough i feel like shit.,i am on the edge of my nerves. i am so old and exausted of breakups anymore.I feel lost.Did i do the right thing ? How to move on now ? Cause i realy love him ,i hate what je says but i still have feelings for him.

A bit of context: A couple years ago my best friend of over 20 years got engaged. Growing up we always dreamed of being each other's maid of honor, and we were so excited for that to finally come to fruition. Shortly after I ended up coming out as a trans man (I am now 1.5 years on testosterone and pass decently well). She still wanted me to fill the role and instead we changed my title to “best man”.
It was my job to handle her bachelorette party and the guest list consisted of the bride (S), myself, my boyfriend, and three friends from S’s neighborhood who are all a tight knit group (I hadn’t met any of them prior). Trying to organize it was like pulling teeth, as I got iced out by the group after shutting down one’s suggestion of a Harry Potter themed bachelorette party at the largest queer club in the state (the bride is pan and marrying a man, and the other three women were straight). For anyone not aware the author is transphobic and refers to trans people as sexual predators. I told her that having a Harry Potter themed party in that setting could open the door to confrontation which I thought would be very anxiety inducing for S. The group was non-responsive, with me having to triple text them just to get answers to my questions. All of this to say–I was quite anxious going in.
Now for the actual bachelorette party: We started the night at one of the neighborhood friend’s house. The two other neighbors arrived and were helping me set up all of the decorations I bought and were being sweet. S arrives and everyone has a couple drinks and we end up playing a card game that one of them brought. The cards had questions that everyone went around and answered. At one point I get up and leave the room to grab something and I hear the question “Who would look the best as the opposite gender?” I could hear the tension even from the other room and my friend goes “Well obviously (my name)”--I was trying to diffuse the tension and chimed in “Oh ya definitely me–I was cute pre T”. At that point I come back in the room and see S huddled over her phone scrolling, with it turned to the neighbor friends. I walk over to see what they’re looking at and it's my instagram page–she had scrolled all the way back to 2016 (through hundreds of my pre transition pictures) and was showing them a picture of me with long hair and looking all dolled up. She said “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok huh?”. My heart was racing and I felt like I was having an out of body experience and because I didn’t want to make a big fuss less than an hour after meeting these women I was like “Oh it’s fine!”--complete fawn response. Her friends then started bombarding me with questions about my transition and if I was “a male or female”. I kept explaining that I was a trans man, to which she goes “but what is your BIRTH sex?” and I say “female”. She then proceeded to go on about “Ohhhh ok I can see that now! I can see the balance of feminine and masculine in your face. I can see where if your hair was this current color in that picture you would look the same”. S just sat there, saying nothing and smiling the whole time. This entire interaction was made worse by the fact that later in the night the women were once again looking at a phone S was holding and when I came over and said “What are we all looking at?” she turned the phone away from me and asked one of the women “Is it ok if I show it?”--she said yes and S revealed that it was just a picture of a wedding dress that one of the newly engaged women had tried on.
Shortly after we all head out to dinner. At this point S wasn't drinking and hadn’t had anything to drink in roughly an hour. They were all gossiping about their neighbors and other things and at one point S very nonchalantly informed me that my boyfriend and I were going to be moved to a different table for the reception–instead of sitting with her family as was originally planned. She goes on to say that her mom’s boyfriend (of less than one year) isn’t comfortable sitting next to trans people. She then corrects herself and says “Well actually he didn’t say that–my mom just thinks he’d be uncomfortable and asked that you be moved”. Now. I have known this woman for over 20 years of my life. She is like a second mother to me. To say that I was gutted is an understatement. The waitress overheard the conversation and said “Oh my god that’s horrible! I’m so sorry I don’t mean to interrupt but that’s just awful!”. So it clearly wasn’t just me who understood how awful it was. S then proceeded to make excuses for why he thought that way/why she said that. Namely that he was “assaulted by a man when he was younger”. Again, I had a fawn response as I was just trying to keep it together. Earlier in the night she had been talking the guy up and several times mentioned that he “met RuPaul” as if that was an indicator that he was a good person–but now knowing that the whole time she was aware that he’s transphobic it feels insane that she kept feeling the need to sprinkle that in over and over.
These are just the most egregious things but there were microaggressions that she said through the night (ie going out of her way to inform me that she’s still using they/them pronouns for me because she’s still getting used to he/him–I’ve been going by he/him for over a year now).
All the while my boyfriend was deeply triggered and traumatized by the events as he is also transgender and it brought him right back to when he was earlier on in his transition and had to deal with things like this. He felt paralyzed as I had asked him prior to not say anything if the women made any inappropriate comments–but I never expected comments from S. He cried once we got back and was rattled for days after.
We slept at S’s home and in the morning we were drinking coffee with her and her fiance. Once again she brings up the situation with her mom nonchalantly and tells him that she told us. I say “Hey–about that, I really think that I didn’t need to know that. I really would’ve preferred if you had just moved us without letting us know why or made up an excuse”. Her fiance had a look on his face and she said that he was adamant that I should never be told and that his initial reaction to the mom’s request was that her boyfriend just shouldn’t be invited to the wedding. I also let her know that I was uncomfortable that she was showing strangers my pre-transition pictures without asking me. I kept the conversation very brief and frankly overly nice. She apologized and I left and my boyfriend and I went home.
As the day went on the shock started to wear off and I was more and more hurt. I texted her and stressed how much it hurt that she scrolled for multiple minutes through hundreds of my pre transition pictures without asking me, but thought to ask her friend for permission to show me a picture of a dress. She profusely apologized and I dropped it. In the morning I woke up to a lengthy text of her saying that she thought she had asked for my permission to show the pictures and that she never would’ve done it without asking for my consent and that it was all a misunderstanding. I responded stating that I had been out of the room when the question got pulled and when I walked in she was already several years deep in my instagram and then commented “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok”. The next day the reality of the situation with her mom began to fully sink in and I got angrier and angrier about how she could request that I be moved, after knowing me so long, and how S made excuses for her mom and mom’s boyfriend. I decided to send a voice memo rather than a text so that she could hear that my tone was of hurt rather than screaming and yelling. The purpose was to get her to understand the severity of the situation and how if you replace “trans” with any other minority group it instantly becomes apparent how messed up the situation was. I played the audio for several people and everyone said that it made them sad for me and that I expressed my feelings in a really calm and respectful way. S initially responded that night saying that she needed time to properly respond.
After a week of radio silence she finally replied and said that my messages had been “troubling and frightening” and that “I don’t have the resources right now to make my wedding feel like a safe space for you/us”. I was beyond shocked that her response was to uninvite me to the wedding and I let her know that I couldn’t be friends with her after the way she had handled everything. Later in the day she called me (I didn’t pick up) and texted me saying that her fiance was begging her to call me and make up and that she thought she was doing me a favor by uninviting me and that she thought my audio message was to intentionally kick her while she was down and was me “begging to be uninvited”. I feel like she is backpedaling HARD and mainly because of her fiancé.
Thank you to everyone who read this novel of a post. What do you all think—did I overreact?