Hey everyone,
I'm a long time Diablo 2 player. Maybe 6-7 years ago I started playing again when I discovered Plugy and have finished most of my grail with a bit of playing every few months (just missing Tyreal's at this point). While grinding away at pits I began to envy the resurrected players with terror zones allowing them to change up their farming areas. I didn't make the switch over earlier because there was no plugy (and I also don't enjoy the frequent updates/fixes that come with a new game launch), but saw recently that MrLlama posted a Llamugy mod with expanded storage and a vault for grail items.
I had a few questions before jumping over the resurrected.
1) Have most bugs from the original game been fixed (i.e. zon dodge/evade/avoid, arctic blast's damage, viper damage near nihl)?
2) What previously less-viable builds have become more reasonable with the balancing they've done to the skill trees?
3) Has anyone used llamugy and can confirm it works as advertised? Or have other recommendations for an infinite stash mod?
4) Are ladder runewords accessible in single player?
5) Is there a resurrected equivalent to the old arreat summit site that has organized lists of all the runewords. items and cube recipes?
I play single player, mostly self found/untwinked with new chars for reference. Thanks!

What is Dark Magic?
That's the question, I'm sure, if not every single one, but the majority of readers asked themselves at least once. Dark Magic in general is described as magic malicious in nature, one that's used to cause harm. It doesn't really make sense: a good applied Incendio is just as well to kill you as a swift Killing Curse, even more painfully, in fact. Or why Imperius is Unforgivable, but love potions are totally fine and legal and not considered Dark? And I'm sure people here are painfully familiar with many such arguments.
Did you know that "Petrificus Totalus" spell Hermione used on Neville at the end of the first book is a dark charm? Apparently, according to "The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1" from Pottermore, jinxes, hexes and curses (though the last one is obvious) are all dark spells. And that includes such things as Ron's Slug-Vomiting Curse, Ginny's signature Bat-Bogey Hex, even Leg-Locking Curse that Draco used to bully Neville in first year. All because their purpose is to cause a negative effect.
So, some Dark Magic is bad, but other is used regularly in schoolyard fights, and no one bats an eye. Where's the line and who sets it?
Alright, Dark Magic in canon doesn't make sense. That means, that a lot of fic writers take it upon themselves to fill the gaps in logic and give their own definitions of what magic constitutes as dark. From the top of my head, I can remember a few, let me know if you recognize them:

• Dark magic is magic that's powered by emotions. Everyone knows that to properly use Killing or Cruciatus Curse, you have to fully desire to cause death and pain, so that fits. Also, by this definition, Patronus Charm is dark because it's powered by happiness. Why not, quite a good irony.
• Dark magic is powered by external source, while "light" magic is internal. I don't remember the details, but it was something to the effect that external makes it more powerful, and power corrupts, so it's feared. A bit strange but has a nice message behind it. Also, why I'm on the topic, a friendly reminder to those who are too deep in fanon and mix things up with canon. There's no such thing as "light" magic, just like there was no "Light" side in the war. There's Dark and there's everything else.
• Dark magic is one that is secret familial magic. People develop or discover new spells and for whatever reason decide not to share them, but to hoard them in their family grimoire, so other people don't know such a powerful spell or countermeasures against it. Usually this is followed by some heavy pureblood Houses politics, Lordships and such. Also, I've seen fics where bloodline gifts such as Tonks' metamorphmagus ability were considered Dark Magic for whatever reason (Bashed Dumbledore's propaganda to suppress pureblood Houses, more likely).
• Dark magic is the one that's forbidden by government. This is my personal favorite, as I prefer harder magical systems. In this case, it means that there's nothing inherently wrong in this magic, it's not different in nature from any other magic, just one that's seen as too dangerous. Of course, it also invites a heavy abuse by government to declare anything they don't want to as dangerous Dark Magic that's to be prosecuted for, but that's another story.

I like these theories, I like when people try to come up with their own interpretations or their ways to fill the holes in lore and logic. Not all of them I agree with, but it hardly matters.
What peeves me, however, is when authors use this fact, that there's no clear definition of Dark Magic or Dark Arts, as an excuse to basically do whatever they want. A character (more likely, main one) does or practices something that people don't like, so they just accuse them with an empty argument "it's bad, it's Dark Magic!". And no one can argue, because no one understands what Dark Magic even is! They don't have a box list of criteria to disprove. "I don't know what you're doing, I don't understand it - it's Dark Magic, it's bad."
It's one of the favorite arguments in Hermione or Order bashing stories when MC does something they do not approve of. Dumbledore bashing uses a bit different arguments, but this one can also be included.
It's just such a... I don't want to call it a bashing tool, because I can't say if every such story involves a heavy bashing, but it has potential to be, at least. I'd call it a bludgeoning tool. Just a blunt method to make characters do whatever they want without the need for any finer details: it's so much easier to just use the brand "Dark Magic" and get over it, why give any explanations.
Although, to be completely fair, canon does it as well to some extent.

“Did something happen to it when Flint blocked him?” Seamus whispered.
“Can’t have,” Hagrid said, his voice shaking. “Can’t nothing interfere with a broomstick except powerful Dark magic — no kid could do that to a Nimbus Two Thousand.”

Non-Dark magic can't do something like that? What is Dark about taking control of a broom anyway? Though, admittedly it's Hagrid, no matter his virtues, not the most reliable or knowledgeable of sources on this topic.

“Ask him,” shrieked Filch, turning his blotched and tearstained face to Harry.
“No second year could have done this,” said Dumbledore firmly. “It would take Dark Magic of the most advanced — ”

Again, I don't understand what the heck it is, so it must be Dark Magic. But, it is Dumbledore and highly knowledgeable wizard, plus it's clearly a harmful effect, so it's more assumption based on those, plus experience.

“Nonsense, O’Flaherty,” said Professor Binns in an aggravated tone. “If a long succession of Hogwarts headmasters and headmistresses haven’t found the thing — ”

“But, Professor,” piped up Parvati Patil, “you’d probably have to use Dark Magic to open it — ”
The Chamber of Secrets can't be kept a secret without resorting to Dark Magic? If no one found it, so it must be something truly obscure and terrible, so it's Dark. But, I mean, she's a second year girl...

Black jumped at being addressed like this and stared at Hermione as though he had never seen anything quite like her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how — how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn’t use Dark Magic?”
But Hermione surely disappoints here. Apparently, non-Dark countermeasures are all accounted for, so if they failed he must have used some Dark stuff.
It's very sad picture, which says about either ignorance on the matter, which is excusable for children but pity that it's not taught, or arrogance in the assumption that you know every bit of non-Dark magic there is and can be.
Anyway, we came back to the canon and it's understanding of Dark Magic. I spent some time thinking about it, what J.K.Rowling meant by it, without resorting to any headcanons.
No one can argue that Harry Potter series is filled with symbolism as any good fiction tends to be. It's a story for children, at least started as, and young adults, so besides a good adventure it also contains a moral message and more than one. The story of Boy-Who-Lived is about love and redemption, first and foremost. "Love is the most powerful thing in the world" is not just a preaching of a senile old man, but the most central point of the whole book series.
So, based on this, I believe that in canon Dark Magic at its basics is the magic that corrupts the soul. What it means is open to interpretation, as it often is when the topic of a human soul is involved. It's all based on the same moral messages between the lines: when you do bad things to others, it slowly but surely corrupts your soul, and if you fall into temptation, only love and compassion can heal the harm done to yourself. Harry vs Voldemort is basically the fight between Love and Hate, Soul and Soulless. That's why Patronus is basically an epitome of defense. And that's why Horcruxes are considered to be The Darkest of Magic, when it literally tears the soul apart. And that's why the cold blooded murder is even involved in the process of making one - metaphorical tear becomes literal.
To be completely honest, I find myself a bit resentful of the message, no matter how nice and beautiful it sounds. It somehow implies that soul is only about love, compassion, friendship and so on, that any negative feelings do not and must not have a part in it. But, I guess, it's a bit too much of a philosophical, ethical and psychological question to dive into in here.

So here we are, on the last page. Indulge my ramblings.
It's been one hell of a ride, managing to devour the ten big books in what is a little over a year I think at this point. To say it took me for a ride is an understatement. I haven't been invested in an actual book series for a while now, few standalone novels here and there, but nothing like this.
I don't think I posted my detailed thought on DoD, perhaps it was for the best. Because I truly see it as but a half of a book. While in the past some malazan books picked up right after others, DG and MOI continue directly after GoTM, HOC continues on to DG. It was never with such immediacy. TCG starting second after DoD, heck starting before its end, because we see Cotillion take hold of Lostara.
I had gotten used to a certain pace within these books. Book 1 would be a sort of overture, we see new characters, we see old characters, a cast is assembled. Book 2 expands on the main plot of the book, what will this all be about, plans are set in motion. Book 3, the plans mature, we see a convergance on the horizon. Book 4, we get a convergance. The roller coaster has reached the highest point and goes into free fall.
DoD essentially gets us to the end of Book 2, a midway finale, we have met all the players, we know what the plan is. We are moving towards it.
It was a hard read, because the cast was just overflowing. Usually I praise SE for those small scenes, of the soldiers shooting the shit as they march, between fights and all that. I still like them, but was getting overwhelmed with just how many we were getting. I had to take out my notebook again to keep track of the squads and command structure.
It is a bit of a blur compared to TCG, kalyth, the snake, the shake, the ghosts, tool, toc, torrent, trade guild, grey helms, queen abastral, her daughter, tavore, ublala etc.
The snake being the most jarring and confusing element, it took by far the longest to get used to it and wrap my brain around it properly. Similar to the ghosts.
What left me the most angry and annoyed was olar ethils meddling between Toc and Tool. There are plenty of hateable and evil bastards in the series, individuals it is fun to hate. Olar was not one, she felt like a nuissance. Toc and Tool not getting an ounce of bloody mercy left me very jaded. But I will get into more on that later.
I think I will just jump to TCG.
I did not know what to expect as an ending. I have been disappointed plenty of times. It is no small feat to cap off 14 000 pages of such a rich, complicated and elaborate world. I had no illusion that everything will be neat and tidy, a happily ever after. This not that kind of story.
Steven Erickson did do the series justice. That is the best way I think I can phrase it. It was not what I expected, it was not what I wanted for some characters. But I cannot disagree or see it ending other way.
Those who have followed my rantings while reading will know of my disagreement witht the idea "THE STORY IS ABOUT HOPE". Considering the amount of failure, misery, cruelty and a whole lot more the story dumps on to some characters. My opinion has changed, not fully, but it has. It was not due to the final scene with them defending with the crippled god. It was due to Torrent.
I was so invested in him. He felt so human so mortal, yet despite it all. He kept going. That moment when Olar confronts the guild, mappo and the rest, when they all stand uselessly pissing themselves as she demands the kids. Torrent is the only one to stand up, to go with her. I truly lost a lot of respect for Mappo then.
We don't know what happens to Torrent. He gets the killshot on the witch bitch, then falls down a fissure. I read that line, hoping that he survives. Until someone says otherwise I will keep hoping.
Another character is Cotillion, the most human god of all. I can hardly recognise him from the start of GOTM.....
TCG felt to me what "Return of the king" felt to some of my friends. From the andii kneeling to the shake in respect for holding out, to Korlat and WJ. "And wait he will", that had me straight up bawling for several minutes
Regarding our favourite Trell...when he met with Calm, I knew how it would end. From how clumsily he handled himself to the exhaustion, he never stood a chance. Ublala could have never arrived on time, for he was meant to take up that torch, like so many before him. "I remembered something", there is that feeling again. Hope.
Tavore...tavore....how far she has come.
I hated her, I hated her so much. From DG all the way to TBH. All the politics, betrayal and bullshit leaving me expecting she was just like Surly or Rel. Boy was I wrong. "I lost her", of all the things expected, it was not that. It all came crashing down with just those three words when she met Ganoes. All her weight, all she did. It made sense.
Yedan's last stand and death hurt, but in the same way Rake's did. It was not in vain, they both died for the cause they believed in. They won.
Now.....tool, toc and hetan. This is going to be controversial. I was aware of something bad happening in DoD, that much was hinted by several sources. It was horrific, but didn't have the same impact some of past horrors did. I find it hard to explain, but what made it worse was....her coming back like nothing happened.
I might be reading it in the wrong way. Ressurection in any fantasy series is a dangerous can of worms, the moment an author uses it, he has to start making up excuses for why it cannot be done every time. Malazan handled it by showing just how nasty the cost is. Rhulad being driven more insane every time he came back, escapees from Hood's realm looking like zombies etc.. Even Hedge reuniting with Fiddler, it is endlessly fraught and warped their relationship.
I like that Tool got a happy ending, but her just coming back like that. It felt cheap and made me resent we couldn't get other characters back the same way. The whole Tool and Toc thing just got me angry and not in a fun way.
I could go on and on, but I needed to get this lot off my chest first.
This series changed me and the way I appreciate stories/characters. There is not a single person in malazan you can point to who is fully good or evil (except the liosan and assail, fuccccccckkkkkkkk them). Humans are messy, despite the best of intent, the world will not let us be good, nor is it easy to be good. We do stuff that seemingly contradicts what we stand for, what we value, knowing the immediate pain it will cause, but holding out hope it will be worth it in the long run.
I am far from done with Malazan. Novels of the malazan empire are next on my reading list. But I will be taking a bit of a break to reset. There is a real danger of getting fatigued with the series, the worst hitting right during DoD.
So yeah....cool book series...

Before late 2023, I used to listen to music on Spotify like 8-10 hours everyday. But after 2024, I've started using YouTube instead due to how bad Spotify has gotten over the years.
The most noticeable difference is the ads. God, I've hated the ads ever since I've started using Spotify, but it is only getting worse. Nowadays, you get increasingly more ads on Spotify, 1 ad per 2-3 songs. And every single one of them is a goddamn 30 seconds long ear-rape about craps that I don't even care about. It's even worse on mobile when most of the time, you get two of them back to back every time you have an ad break. On YouTube, you get a lot less ads, about one every 3-7 videos. They sound a lot easier on the ears, and half of the time it's about things that I do know or do care about, and they are skippable after 3-5 seconds, otherwise, they last for about 10 seconds at most.
Next up, the utilities. Yeah, yeah, there is almost no difference regarding this on PC. But it's really bad on mobile. On Spotify, you can't loop playlists, you can't loop a single song, you can't do normal listening and forced to be in a shuffle with bad algorithm, and you can't listen to your playlist again when it has ended, which is extra irritating when your playlist is short (i.e. about 10-15 songs). Hell you can't even skip more than like, what? 6 times per hour? While all of this is completely available for free on YouTube. And recently, they've removed the ability to see the lyrics for Spotify Free. Sure, YouTube never has built-in lyrics, but many videos still have lyrics enabled through the video itself or through subtitles. Or you can take a bit more time and see the lyrics in the video's description or in the comment section.
And what's better than an unsatisfying listening session on mobile due to being forced to use bad-algorithm'ed-shuffle? Yeah, that's right. Bad recommendations. After you're done listen to all of the songs in your playlist, you are usually forced to recommended songs that Spotify thought to be "similar" to the songs in your playlist. Half of the time, they are bad, just bad. And you thought that the "-" button in the bottom would work to make songs and/or artists like that appear less on your recommendations, right? Well then, screw yourself because it does not. You still get the same crappy song and artist, it doesn't matter how many times you try pressing that "-", nothing changes at all, at least until you remove the so called "similar" song in your playlist. I especially had this issue when I had the song "Christmas Truce" by Sabaton in my playlist. When the recommendations come, half of them is filled with really bad "epic"-Christmas-rock/metal songs from that one random band that I don't even know about. And it just keep on appearing no matter how many times I skipped that song or pressed the "-" button.
Maybe, you thought that using Spotify would be easier on your battery and internet because it only runs in the background, especially when your phone is screen off, and only uses audio, right? Well, my experience completely contradicts that. For mobile, many times on my 15-minutes listening sessions while only having Spotify running and the screen is completely off. Spotify would consume up to 5% of battery. That's 1% every 3 minutes, comparable to the game Honkai: Star Rail, which uses 1% every 2.5 minutes. And Honkai: Star Rail has many CPU and GPU-intensive processes for game calculations, assets loading, graphics and audio going on. Meanwhile, if I only has YouTube running on 240p, the video minimized and the screen brightness is set to lowest, it would take YouTube from 1 hour to 1.5 hours to consume the same 5%. That is a 300% to 500% difference in efficiency. And the audio quality of Spotify bares almost no difference to that of a 240p YouTube video. The situation is almost no different on PC. On the low-end laptop that I usually use, when YouTube is in the background, YouTube would use 0.5% CPU and about 250 MB RAM through out the listening session thank to sleeping tab feature on browsers, compared to Spotify 1-3% CPU and 250 MB RAM. The difference is almost ignorable most of the time, but it's really noticeable when I'm using resource-heavy apps. I gain about 15-20 FPS, or 30-50% increase when having YouTube sleeping instead of having Spotify in the background. Especially when the next song or ad break comes in, YouTube would have absolutely no problem handling this and the laptop would still run smoothly, but Spotify CPU consumption would just suddenly jump up to 10-25% on top of the already high resource consumption of resource-heavy apps and completely lags the crap out of whatever I'm doing for 2-8 seconds, which is extremely irritating. I once thought that Spotify would use less internet as it only uses audio, which it does, but not much at all. On 240p, which has comparable audio quality to that of Spotify, YouTube would use only about 1-5% more data than Spotify. As a 240p video isn't actually that much. And the advertisements on Spotify actually consumes a lot of data.
You do have to tell YouTube that you still want to continue listening at times or use split screen on mobile if you want to listen while doing something else. But it's worth the trouble for me.
Please note that this is only about YouTube and not YouTube Music.

Eivor is a bit of a strange protagonist.
She’s basically flawless and without blame. She’s brash and bold, proud and unashamed — brave and wise far beyond her years, yet able to be soft and compassionate when not brandishing spears. She’s got a knack for leadership, a strong moral compass and an even stronger muscular system with which to enact justice.
And she’s got bars?
As someone not deeply versed in medieval European histories, imagine my shock and confusion upon discovering that Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla included rap battling.
My first experience with Flyting had me asking so many questions about what I just witnessed that I couldn’t wait to begin Googling. I figured flyting probably was historically accurate, but if that’s the case, then what else can it tells us about the medieval warrior and about Eivor’s characterization?
I set off to find out.
--
Wikipedia and howstuffworks combined gave me a robust definition of flyting.
A ritual, poetic exchange of insults practiced mainly between the 5th and 16th centuries. Examples of flyting are found throughout Scots, Ancient, Medieval and Modern Celtic, Old English, Middle English and Norse literature involving both historical and mythological figures. The exchanges would become extremely provocative, often involving accusations of cowardice or sexual perversion.
The idea behind flyting was to influence public opinion of the participants and raise both of their profiles. And each participant wanted to make himself look better than the other, even if they were friendly.
Not only that, but flyting’s also the first recorded use of shit as an insult. That right there is worth this whole essay and then some.
--
I came away from those definitions with some small Euphoria, as they reinforce what I already expected from Ubisoft — historically accurate and (arguably) immersive side activities grounded in realism.
Unfortunately, none of the flyting foes that Eivor faces in this fantasy are founded in any real-world flyters. I was particularly frustrated when I realized Fergal the Faceless and Borghild the Alewife’s Bane were fictional features, not real historical fiends of rhythm and rhyme.
Two of Eivor’s syntax competitors are “real” in some sense, however.
In Norse mythos, Odin, Thor, Loki, Freyja and more would handle their Family Matters over a flyte from time to time, dueling wits and words as competition and entertainment.
In fact, one flyte we do see in game — Odin as he flytes over the river with Thor in the Asgard Arc — is likely a reference to a real medieval Norse poem; The Hárbarðsljóð.
In it, Thor jaunts back to Asgard after a journey in Jötunheim. He comes to a junction in which he must jump a large river, and thus hunts down a ferryman to shepherd him across. The ferryman, Hárbarðr, is Odin in disguise. He then begins to diss guys.
Ahem. ‘Guys’ being Thor, obviously.
First, Odin drops a yo-mama joke:

Of thy morning feats art thou proud, but the future thou knowest not wholly; Doleful thine home-coming is: thy mother, me thinks, is dead.

He keeps going, taking more shots than a First Person Shooter, this time saying Thor dresses like a girl:

Three good dwellings methinks, thou hast not; Barefoot thou standest and wearest a beggar’s dress; Not even hose dost thou have.

Thor says watch your mouth before I clap back:

Ill for thee comes thy keenness of tongue, if the water I choose to wade; Louder, I ween, than a wolf thou cryest, if a blow of my hammer thou hast.

Odin replies by saying Thor’s wife is fucking another dude:

Sif has a lover at home, and him shouldst thou meet; More fitting it were on him to put forth thy strength.

The version we play out in game isn’t identical to the real-world poem, but carries some similarities; Thor’s threatening to cross the river to fight Odin as well as his boasting of slaying giants are present in each.
Ratatosk is the only other ‘real’ flyting enemy in Valhalla. While Odin doesn’t flyte with Ratatosk in Norse myth to my knowledge, the flyting against the squirrel is thematically accurate, at least.
Ratatosk’s purpose is to scramble up and down Yggdrasil, scurrying spoken messages from the eagle that sits at its peaks to the snake that slithers at its base. The nature of Ratatosk’s messages is in line with the act of flyting — the mischievous rodent carries falsehoods and aggressive statements to stir up drama and distrust between bird and serpent.
Flyting took place not only in poems and folklore, but in town squares and royal court. It was a facet of medieval life and social interaction. This weaving of prose then, in this time period, seemingly was just about as much of an admired skill as the swinging of a sword. It’s no wonder our unbreakable warrior Eivor is so proficient with word.
--
Like, really proficient with word.
I mean, I know it’s me choosing the dialogue options, but sheesh, is there anything she can’t do?
Actually, Eivor’s expertise in flyting is strange to me. It feels random and unearned — out of character, even. It comes more unexpectedly than Kendrick Lamar’s Not Like Us.
It probably only feels out of character, however, due to our modern understanding of proficiency with words versus proficiency with might. Our current interpretation of verbal ability compared to physical ability would perceive verbal ability as the ‘softer’ of the two skillsets. Physical strength is typically interpreted as tough and more dominant. You don’t expect to see an MMA fighter composing poetry, do you? The qualities that modern thought attributes to writing and physicality don’t mesh.
But in reality — and historically accurately in Valhalla — medieval warriors weren’t just blind berserkers. They were actually artists, poets and writers.
We’ve already demonstrated how Odin and Thor — Norse myth’s most famous warriors — carried out flyting. Thus, medieval Vikings would’ve surely done the same. Beyond Vikings though, the Illiad contains instances of public, ritualized abuse. Taunting songs are present in Inuit culture while Arabic poetry contains a form of flyting called naqa’id. Further, Japanese Samurai were known to be frequent composers of haiku, while Japanese culture also gave birth to Haikai, poetry in which vulgar satire and puns were wielded.
This historical accuracy ends up eliminating the randomness of Eivor’s flyting ability. Despite her verbal finesse feeling unearned, we can surmise historically that Eivor has practiced the wielding of words plenty in her life before we take over as the player. She’s dedicated time to this.
Now that we know why she has it, we can take a closer look at what it does for her.
--
So, Eivor can rap. She can match you with her axe or she can match you with her words. She’s just about unbeatable.
Her mastery of words demonstrates on some level that she’s not all Push Ups and might is right. She’s not all bruiser and bluster, burn and berserk. She’s an appreciator of the finer things — the more abstract, mental skills that require brain power, deftness and finesse.
This duality of strength and genius rounds out Eivor into a deeper, richer, more admirable character. More than just raw muscle in pursuit of glory, Eivor’s mastery of verse demonstrates her prioritizing not just her body, but her mind.
And it goes a long way for her.
Eivor can use her prowess with prose to progress past pointless plot points throughout Valhalla’s plethora of arcs and missions. It’s just a stat check in the end, but with enough practice flyting and enough charisma gained, Eivor unlocks new dialogue options that bend the world around her to her will.
Witch hunters in Eurvicscire on the brink of terrorizing Moira can be dispersed verbally rather than brawled or killed. There’s an entire riddle-solving fetch quest in Wincestre that can be skipped completely by telling King Aelfred’s abbot fuck off (figuratively). Eivor’s sharpening of her mind protects her body, saves her time, and allows her to frictionlessly fell her endeavors.
Her articulate advances don’t just alter her into admirability, they allow her to influence people and progression. With semantics from her mouth and twists from her tongue, Eivor can have her way whenever she wishes. In a game this large, I’m only left longing that the opportunity to make use of this charisma wasn’t relegated to niches.
Regardless, if medieval England is butter, Eivor’s tongue is the hot knife that behooves her move through her subduing more smoothly.
It all just goes to show that ̶m̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ flyte is right.

Hi,
Here's what I can offer for trades. CIB unless noted otherwise. List may get updated after initial posting.

Have

PS1
Breath of Fire 3	Manual damaged. Missing first page. Disc plays okay.
Breath of Fire 4
Parasite Eve	Small crack in the case
Tactics Ogre
Dragon Warrior 7
Legend of Legaia
Metal Gear Solid	missing manual
Suikoden	small rip in first page of manual
Wild Arms 2	loose disc only
Final Fantasy Tactics
Revelations: Persona	box only
Star Ocean: The Second Story
Gran Turismo	Brand new. Plastic wrap is gone but seal at the top is still intact.
A bug's life
Black Dawn
Formula1 98
Small soldiers
The next tetris
Star wars: Episode 1 The phantom menace
Twisted metal III
Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style
Apocalypse
Playstation Underground Jampack
NHL FaceOff 99
NFL Xtreme
NFL GameDay 2001	Sealed. Small rip in the plastic wrap
NFL GameDay 2000
MLB 2000
3Xtreme
Contender
Jampack Summer 99
Jampack Winter 98
Interactive CD Sampler Pack Volume 3
Spyro
Bust A Groove

​

PS2
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 [Limited Edition]	outer box showing some wear
.Hack Quarantine	Missing anime DVD, Case may not be original
Front mission 4
Katamari Damacy
Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill 4
Suikoden 3
Final Fantasy XII Limited Edition (steelbook)
Xenosaga Episode 1
Xenosaga Episode 3
Guitar Hero
Guitar Hero Metallica
Guitar Hero III Legend of Rock
Rockband AC/DC Track Pack
Grandia II
Grandia III
Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne
Kingdom Hearts	GH
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3

​

PSP
Untold Legends Brotherhood Of The Blade
Prince Of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
Legend Of Heroes III Song Of The Ocean	loose umd only
Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories	GH
Robots	UMD Movie

​

Vita
Killzone Mercenary	loose

​

PS3
Metal Gear Solid: The Legacy Collection [Artbook Bundle]	Sealed with artbook
Dante's Inferno Divine Edition	with slipcover, missing manual
BlazBlue: Continuum Shift Extend
Batman: Arkham City
Blazing Angels: Squadrons of WWII
Disney Infinity starter pack	Sealed
Record of Agarest War 2	Sealed, One corner of box is dinged
Dead Island Riptide [Rigor Mortis Edition]	Sealed
Dead Space 3 Dev-team Edition	Sealed, 4004/5000
Battlefield 3
Battlefield 4
Far Cry 2
Far Cry 4
Cabela's Big Game Hunter 2010
Heavy Fire: Afghanistan
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas
Little Big Planet Karting
Batman: Arkham Asylum - GoTY edition
Medal of Honor: Warfighter
Need for Speed: The Run LE
Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit LE
Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit	loose, GH
Need for Speed: Rivals	missing manual
Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection
Duke Nukem Forever
Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes	GH
Lego Star Wars: The Force Awakens	loose
Destiny
Lost Planet 3	Sealed
God of War Collection	GH
Ferrari Challenge Trofeo Pirelli
Dead Space
Blazing Angels: Squadrons of WWII
Dead Island
Batman: Arkham City
Blazblue: Continuum Shift Extend
Blur
Prototype 2 Blackwatch Collector's Edition	Sealed

​

PS4
Fallout 4 Pipboy edition	Sealed
Elder Scrolls Online Tamriel Unlimited Imperial Edition	Sealed
Wolfenstein II: The new Colossus Collector's Edition	Sealed
Final fantasy vii remake
Final fantasy vii remake deluxe edition	Sealed
Neptunia x SENRAN KAGURA: Ninja Wars	digital code
Kingdom Hearts All-in-one	sealed
Fifa 14
Battlefield 4
INSIDE / LIMBO double pack
WWE 2K15 Hulkamania Edition	sealed
Dying Light
Fallout 4
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
Maid of Sker	Sealed, PEGI
NBA 2K19
Dynasty Warrior 7 Empires	Chinese version
R-Type Final 2 Inaugural edition	Sealed
Transformers: Rise Of The Dark Spark
Injustice: Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition

​

PS5
Tales of Arise	Sealed
Elden Ring preorder code x3	Willing to throw this in free with any trade
Elden Ring with steelbook bundle	Bundle seems to be Bestbuy Canada exclusive
Scarlet Nexus	Sealed
Evil Dead	digital code
Horizon Forbidden West Collector's Edition	Sealed
Spider-man 2	digital code

​

Xbox
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines	gamestop sticker on manual

​

Xbox360
Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts
Fallout 3
Halo 4 LE	Sealed
Lost Odyssey
Silent Hill: Homecoming
Otomedius Excellent

​

GameCube
Resident Evil
Donkey Konga 2	Sealed

​

Wii
Super Mario All-Stars: 25th Anniversary Edition	Sealed
The Last Story LE
Sin & Punishment: Star Successor	Sealed

​

Switch
Xenoblade Chronicles 2
Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna the Golden Country	Sealed
Xenoblade Chronicles 3	Sealed
Metroid Dread Special Edition	Sealed
Shin Megami Tensei V Fall of Men Premium Edition	Sealed
Hoa	Sealed
Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town Premium Edition	Sealed
Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 1 [Deluxe Edition]	Sealed
AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES – nirvanA Initiative Collectors Edition	Sealed
Legend of Zelda the tears of the kingdom Collector's edition	Sealed
Fire Emblem Engage Divine Edition	Sealed

​

GBA
Platinum GBA SP	loose
Crash Bandicoot Purple: Ripto's Rampage	loose
Avatar: The Last Airbender	loose
SpongeBob SquarePants Movie	loose
American Dragon Jake Long Rise Of The Huntsclan	loose
Ty The Tasmanian Tiger 3	loose
Pokemon LeafGreen	loose
Pokemon Sapphire	loose, dry battery replaced
Chronicles Of Narnia Lion Witch And The Wardrobe	loose
Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3	loose
Tales of Phantasia	loose
Shining Soul 2	loose
Kirby and the Amazing Mirror	loose
Kirby Nightmare in Dreamland	loose

​

DS
Coral Pink DS Lite	Excellent cosmetic condition, charger included
White DSi	no charger, stylus
TMNT
Lego Harry Potter Year 1-4
Phantasy Star 0	missing manual
Flash Focus
Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia	loose
Valkyrie Profile: Covenant of the Plume	loose
Final Fantasy: The 4 Heroes of Light	loose
Pokemon HeartGold	loose, small damage on label
Pokemon HeartGold	big box with pokewalker
Pokemon SoulSilver	box only
Pokemon Diamond
Pokemon Diamond	loose
Pokemon Platinum	loose
Pokemon Black
Pokemon Black	missing manual
Pokemon Black	box only
Hoppie	no manual, some water damage in cover arts
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
Metroid Prime: Hunters - First Hunt	loose
Diddy Kong Racing
Fossil Fighters
Professor Layton And The Curious Village
Pheonix Wright: Ace Attorney	loose

​

3DS
3DS XL Black+Red	CIB, Cave Story digital installed
New 3DS XL Galaxy	loose. Charger included. Missing stylus, Dual IPS screen
Pokemon X
Rune Factory 4
Bravely Second: End Layer	Warning booklet missing
Kingdom Hearts 3D Dream Drop Distance LE	Missing AR cards
Pokemon Sun	loose
Pokemon Ultra Sun
Pokemon X	loose, have 2
Kirby Triple Deluxe	loose
LEGO Star Wars The Force Awakens	Case in rough shape. Missing manual
Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond The Myth [Launch Edition]	sealed
Sonic: Lost World
Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS
Mario Kart 7
Kirby: Triple Deluxe	Nintendo Selects
Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D	Nintendo Selects
Tales of the Abyss	sealed
Fantasy Life

​

Amiibo (all SSB except noted otherwise)	All sealed in original box
Peach (Super Mario)	025W1
Yoshi (Super Mario)	524W2
Mario	434W2
Bowser	464S1
Diddy Kong	424S1
Luigi	434S1
Pikachu	474W2
Squirtle	279W5
Ivysaur	299W5
Snake	2559G1
Sonic	494W2
Peach	444W3
Link (Link's awakening)	2079G1
Link	524S1
Link (Majora's mask)	187S1

​

Guides
Tales of Vesperia	BradyGames
Dark Souls	FuturePress, Sealed
Dark Souls II CE	FuturePress, Sealed
Dragon Warrior VII	Prima
Breath of Fire IV	Prima
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch	Prima, Hard Cover
Wild Arms 4	Prima
God of War III	BradyGames
Resident Evil 6	BradyGames, Hard Cover, Sealed
Legend of Zelda Collector's Box Set	Prima, sealed

​

Manuals
https://imgur.com/a/DLa5yM4	Too many to list. Some 360/PS3 ones may be in French. Please ask. Harvest Moon (GC) is traded.

​

Steelbooks	G1 size unless noted. No games included.
Assassin's Creed 3	in shrink wrap
Assassin's Creed Collection
Batman Arkham City Armored Edition
Batman Arkham City	G2
Call of Duty Black Ops II
Dead Space 3	in shrink wrap
Devil May Cry	G2
Dishonored
Duke Nukem Forever	in shrink wrap
Epic Mickey 2
Farcry 3	in shrink wrap
FF XIII Lightning Returns	in shrink wrap
Hitman Absolution
Injustice Gods Among Us
Medal of Honor Warfighter	G2
New Super Mario Bros U
NHL 12
Prototype 2	in shrink wrap
Sleeping Dogs
Thief
World of Warcraft Mist of Pandara

​

Misc
FF X Play Arts Tidus	Still in original box, never displayed out of box
FF X Play Arts Yuna	Still in original box, never displayed out of box
FF X Play Arts Auron	Still in original box, never displayed out of box
FFVII Advent Children Play Arts Sephiroth	Still in original box, never displayed out of box
FFVII Advent Children Play Arts Vincent	Still in original box, never displayed out of box
FFVII Advent Children Play Arts Cloud with Fenrir	Still in original box, never displayed out of box
Steer 'n win jr racing wheel/pedal	compatible with PS1/N64
Diablo III Collector's Edition PC	Sealed
Diablo III Reaper of Souls Collector's Edition PC	Sealed
Homeworld Collector's Edition PC	Sealed

Want:

Mostly interested in JRPGs and horrors. Working design, Enix, Falcom, NIS, Atlus, etc. Also looking for many turbo/turbo CD games. Must be CIB unless noted otherwise.
​

PS1
Adventures of Lomax
Deception III: Dark Delusion
Echo Night
Kartia
King's Field (Long box)
King's Field II
Klonoa: Door to Phantomile
Koudelka
Misadventures of Tron Bonne
RayCrisis: Series Termination
RayStorm
Shadow Tower
Tail Concerto
Thunder Force V
Torneko: The Last Hope
Resident evil survivor

​

PS2
Echo Night: Beyond
Forever Kingdom
Haunting Ground
ObsCure
Shadow Heart
Silent Hill 2 (Greatest Hits)
Silent Hill: Shattered Memories
Tsugunai: Atonement

​

PS4
Atelier Ryza LE
Atelier Sophie LE
Tales of Berseria CE

​

PS5
The Last of us Part 1 Firefly edition (sealed)
The Last of us Part 2 WLF edition (sealed)

​

Vita
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Brith 1 LE

​

GBC
Dragon Warrior Monsters
Dragon Warrior Monsters 2: Cobi's Journey
Dragon Warrior Monsters 2: Tara's Adventure
Dragon Warrior I & II
Lufia: The Legend Returns
Revelations: The Demon Slayer

​

GBA
DemiKids: Dark/Light Version
Klonoa 2: Dream Champ Tournament
Klonoa: Empire of Dreams
Lufia: The Ruins of Lore
Lunar Legend
Summon Night: Swordcraft Story
Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2

​

GameCube
Star Fox: Assault	Manual only
Jet Black GameCube box and cardboard inserts
Indigo wired OEM controller	very low want

​

Switch
Dragon quest xi	sealed preferred

​

DS
Blue Dragon: Awakened Shadow
Commando: Steel Disaster
Dragon Quest V
Dragon Quest IV	Box and manual only
Etrian Odyssey
Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja
Lufia: Curse of the Sinitrals
Lunar: Dragon Song	Manual only
Resident Evil: Deadly Silence
Sands of Destruction
Super Robot Taisen OG Saga Endless Frontier

​

3DS
Corpse Party: Back to School Edition
Dragon Quest VIII
Etrian Mystery Dungeon (Launch soundtrack bundle preferred)
Etrian Odyssey Nexus (launch edition)
Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows Of Valentia Limited Edition
Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology (launch edition)
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Soul Hackers (with soundtrack)
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2 Record Breaker (launch edition)
Shin Megami Tensei IV Apocalypse Launch Edition

​

Others
Turbografx-16 Console	CIB preferred
Turbografx-16 and Turbo CD games	CIB preferred. Almost everything except sports games will be considered. Big priority now
Dragon Quest Slime controller for Switch
All Uncharted Waters games (SNES and Genesis, CIB)

Notes.

• Prefer to trade within Canada, but will consider cross border too if offers are attractive. I'm okay with conus (with some exceptions).
• Will provide pics upon request.
• I have not listed everything in haves/wants. I will gladly check your list and work something out.

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

One of the lesser known and discussed components to David Kibbe’s approach to developing an authentic personal style is his color system.
What I think is quite unique about his approach is that it is rooted in color theory. I know that sounds kind of obvious… aren’t all personal color systems rooted in color theory? Not quite in the same way, no.
To go back to the absolute basics of color theory we start with the foundational concept of Primary Colors; Red, Yellow and Blue. Where In color theory; Yellow is Warm, Blue is Cool and Red is Neutral.
Disclaimer: Yes! There’s such thing as a Warm Blue or a Cool Yellow. David gives every season their own version of Yellow and Blue. However, we’re referencing a *pure** version of these colors - not a blend.*
So when we say “cool toned” this means the colors have a blue base since blue is cool. The same can be said for the concept of “warm toned” which means the colors have a yellow base since yellow is warm.
Now, nobody’s skin tone is literally yellow (we’re not lemons) or literally blue (we are not lizards). We are a complex blend of pigments that create a unique mix of tones within our skin, hair and eyes. What we’re looking to determine with our personal coloring here is wether we have a blue (cool) or golden (warm) undertone. With our hair and eyes providing extra clues but our undertone being the most important factor to consider.
Before we launch into the **Metamorphosis excerpt on David’s approach to personal color, I would like to pause and remind us all, that, as with all things Kibbe, it bares reminding that it is essential we leave all prior ideas on colouring aside and approach this process with a sense of playful exploration and curiosity. Our personal coloring just as our Kibbe ID is part of what makes us uniquely beautiful. So it’s not about there being a “correct” or “incorrect” answer. It’s about celebrating what is innate to us.*

Discovering the magic of your coloring

So much has been written in recent years about your coloring and "having your colors done" that I simply can't take you through this journey without a brief detour in this often confusing area.
As a firm believer in the beauty of our natural coloring, I've always felt that it should be enhanced and prized as one of our greatest gifts from Nature. Since I could be described as one of the pioneers of the modern color movement, I've worked long and hard to educate the public about the possibilities and systems that exist to make working with your coloring easy, clear, exciting, and most of all, fun!
In the past few years, I've watched many variations spring up on the basic theme of personal color analysis. As in all extremely popular fields, some of the "new" variations are simply gimmicks de- signed to cash in on the latest fad, while others bear at least some validity.
For my money, however, the basic system of the seasonal color theory originally developed by Johannes Itten of the Bauhaus School is still far and away the most effective.
This theory divides your coloring into four basic categories named after the seasons, based on two parts of your genetic makeup: (1) the undertone of your skin, which is blue or golden and functions as the "base" of your coloring; and (2) the in- tensity of your coloring, which has to do with the type of "contrast" between your hair. skin, and eyes.
Simply put, your "season" is a general description of the type of coloring you inherited and the palette of colors that will enhance it. Each "season" represents a family of colors that consists of over two million shades within the palette. Here's a brief description of each:

Winter

Blue undertone to the skin. High-contrast coloring (distinct difference between the hair, skin, eyes).
Palette: Cool, clear colors. Blue-based shades with sharp intensity. A jewel-toned palette ranging from vivid colors to very pale, icy shades.
Person: The hair is usually dark (a solid color as opposed to visibly highlighted) with an ash base, and the skin and eyes are quite clear.
Celebrities: Elizabeth Taylor, Cher, Diahann Carroll, Connie Chung.

Summer

Blue undertone to the skin. Blended contrast (the hair, skin, eyes tend to blend together).
Palette: Cool, muted colors. Blue- based shades with a saturated intensity. A dusty palette ranging from pastels to very deep shades.
Person: The hair is usually medium dark to medium light (a dense color with a very subtle highlight) with an ash base, and the skin tone is saturated while the eyes are softly muted.
Celebrities: Grace Kelly, Queen Elizabeth, Jane Fonda.

Autumn

Golden undertone to the skin. Contrast is medium to high, but characterized by richness.
Palette: Warm, intense colors. Yellow based shades with a heavy saturation of richness. A fiery palette ranging from very vivid, hot shades to a few softly muted neutrals.
Person: The hair is usually a richly highlighted shade with a red base, ranging from very deep chestnut to fiery auburn to a very deep honey. The skin tone is rich and saturated (ranging from very pale to very deep) and the eyes are a mixture of marbelized color.
Celebrities: Natalie Wood, Ann-Margret, Diane Keaton, Katharine Hepburn, Shari Bela- fonte-Harper.

Spring

Golden undertone to the skin. Contrast is delicate, but sharp.
Palette: Warm and clear colors. Yellow based shades with a light, bright intensity. A vibrant pal ette ranging from very fresh, vivid shades to a few clear pales.
Person: The hair is usually a medium dense shade (with a subtle natural highlight) and a golden or red base, ranging from medium golden brown to strawberry to golden blond. The skin tone is clear and delicate, and the eyes are crisp.
Celebrities; Shirley MacLaine, Sissy Spacek, Vanessa Williams, Arlene Dahl, Eva Gabor.

Draping the Seasons

Question: How can I determine my "season"? Can I tell by just looking at myself in the mir ror? Can I tell by looking at the underside of my wrists?
Not really. The best way to objectively determine your season is with the help of three or four friends. To correctly determine your season, you've got to first determine both the undertone of your skin (blue or golden), and then the type of contrast between your hair, skin, and eyes. The only way to accurately do this is by a process called "draping," whereby you drape selected shades of fabric under your chin and compare the color of the fabric to the colors in your face. You cannot determine your undertone by simply looking at your wrist because you are merely viewing the "shade" of your skin tone, as opposed to the undertone or base coloration.
In the draping process, you discover your skin's undertone by an indirect method. The aim is to enhance the undertone of your skin by using a complementary base color from the selected fabric.
Here's how to do this: With a group of three or four friends, assemble the following large swaths of fabric:

Four shades of green:

a) a blue-based emerald green (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based sen green (soft and dusty)
c) a yellow-based mossy green (rich and in- tense)
d) a yellow-based bright chartreuse (light and clear)

Four shades of red:

a) a blue-based scarlet (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based dusty raspberry (soft and muted)
c) a yellow-based tomato (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright poppy (light and clear)

Four shades of blue:

a) a blue-based royal (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based cornflower (soft and dusty)
c) a yellow-based teal (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright aqua (light and clear)

Four shades of pink:

a) a blue-based fuchsia (vivid and clear)
b) a blue-based dusty rose (soft and muted)
c) a yellow-based salmon (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright coral (light and bright)
Now drape each other in these colors, following the order in which they're listed. As you're watching this process, be sure to focus on the person's face, not the color. (Remember, you're seeking to discover which color brings the person out, not sim- ply the color you like best.)
In the right shade, you'll watch the person's skin tone become smooth and clear; shadows will seem to miraculously disappear!
In the wrong shades, the color will reflect onto the person's face; you'll notice the color, not the person.
Have your friends vote on what they're seeing. You'll nearly always find the consensus of others to be correct. (Your own opinion may be somewhat prejudiced by color preferences and the thought of having to change your wardrobe!)
If the consensus is that the colors of group a tested best on you consistently, you are a "Winter." If the consensus is toward group b, you are a "Summer." If the consensus is toward group c, you are an "Autumn"; and if the consensus is toward group d, then you are a "Spring."
NOTE: It's very important to perform this draping ceremony in natural light, so be sure you work near a large window with good sun exposure. Also, if your hair has been artificially colored, or has any chemical processing on it such as perms or waves, be sure to cover it with a white turban or bandanna. This will prevent your altered haircolor from throwing any shadows on your face, which could result in a misanalysis. This is crucial in determining your season, so don't forgo it in the name of vanity! Since the skin tone is a much subtler color than your hair, it's very easy to simply match the shades of fabric to the hair, rather than to the complexion. Also, be sure you remove all traces of makeup before you begin!

Questions & Answers

Q. Can I be a mixture of seasons!
A. No, you cannot. It's genetically impossible! Each "season" refers to a specific type of coloring, of which there are only four. For example, you cannot have a mixture of a golden and a blue undertone. Since the undertone functions as the base of your skin tone, it determines whether the shade of skin you have is either warm or cool. A color can only have one base, whether it's skin color, haircolor, fabric, a cosmetic shade, or even the paint on your wall!
The basic law of abstract color theory states that the base of a color determines its shade. For example, a burgundy red has a blue base. It is this blue base that actually causes the shade to be burgundy instead of some other shade of red, say tomato red or rust. Likewise, a mossy green is caused by a yellow base, while an emerald green is emerald because its base is blue! Your skin tone is exactly the same. An olive skin is always caused by a blue undertone. That's why it's olive and not a tawny beige (which is caused by a golden undertone). On the other hand, an ivory skin tone has a golden base, which is what makes it ivory instead of porcelain (which is caused by a blue undertone). There isn't a single individual-dead, alive. or yet to be born who possesses a mixture of undertones. It simply can not happen!
Q. What about "intensity"? Can I be a mixture of the "cools" (WinteSummer) or the "warms" (Autumn/Spring)!
A. No, you cannot. As with the undertone, you have one type of intensity to your coloring. High contrast coloring needs clear shades to enhance and bring it out effectively. Blended coloring needs a saturation of color to allow the subtlety of your coloring to show through gracefully. Mixing the clear colors with the dusty tones only negates your particular type of coloring.
Moreover, the palettes themselves simply don't mix effectively when you translate them into clothing and cosmetics. If you were to try to create color combinations of the cool Winter and Summer palettes, for example, you would never be able to effectively combine the jewel tones of Winter with the elegantly dusty shades of Summer. Since the palettes are of opposing intensities, the shades themselves are not at all complementary. Any resulting outfits of clothing would simply be a hodgepodge of mismatched colors!
Even more disasterous would be an attempt to mix the tones in cosmetics. For a makeup to be successful, you absolutely must keep all the colors on your face in one family of color, both in terms of the base and the intensity. Mixing them is akin to wearing a shocking pink blouse with a bright orange lipstick! While the result might not always be this glaring, opposite color families do not blend together!
Q. But I've had my colors done "professionally," and I was told I'm a mixture. Why would that have happened?
A. Basically, that means one of two things. Either you were analyzed incorrectly, which is, unfortunately, becoming quite common because of improper training and a lack of experience among color consultants, or it's simply a question of semantics.
Frequently, in an effort to delineate among the specific shades that you can actually wear effectively (be cause of the variations in individual skin tone, hair, and eye colors that exist within a season), color consult ants have attempted to make your palette as specific to you as possible. This sometimes manifests in your being labeled a mixture of seasons or having a "subseason." While this is technically incorrect, since the colors within the seasonal palettes do not actually blend with the other palettes, the result is usually a way of defining the range of shades within your season that appear most exciting on you.
From my experience, based on analyzing thousands of clients over a number of years, I simply find it too inaccurate and confusing to try to suggest to my clients that they "mix" the palettes. It's not helpful in a practical sense, for it doesn't actually add any colors that they can effectively work with in clothing, cosmetics, or haircolor. And, since it's technically incorrect, as I previously stated, I find that the clients who come to our salon with a "mixture" of colors nearly always have either a diluted appearance, in terms of focus, or they have a lot of mistakes hanging in their closets! Can my "contrast" change with age?
Q. What about as my hair turns gray? Does this change my season?
A. No, your season never changes with age, or anything else! As your hair begins to gray, Nature is not only changing your haircolor, but is also changing your skin tone and eyes at the same time. The balance among these three elements always remains the same. For example, if you're a mature Vivid Winter, like actress Bea Arthur, the balance among your haiskin/eyes is best described as high contrast. You have a vivid haircolor, a fair skin, and an intense eye color. True, your haircolor is not the same as when you were twenty years old, when it was probably a deep brunette, but you've maintained the high contrast coloring you were born with. As your hair began to gray, it didn't turn a dull or mousy shade of gray, but rather went a brilliant silver, didn't it? Your skin and eyes have actually gotten lighter at the same time, even though this difference is probably imperceptible to you. Do yone that your high contrast has not changed at all! You still have a vivid haircolor, a fair skin, and an in- ten eye color. Your balance has remained the same! You are still a Vivid Winter, and the colors that focus your specific coloring are still cool and clear!
Whatever your season, Nature created your haiskin/eyes as a unit. They always change together, and the balance among them never changes That's why your season never changes!
Q. Does my season have anything to do with style? For example, I read somewhere that Winters should stick to solids and geometrics, while Autumns are very good in tweeds and textures.
A. Not in the least! Having your colors done has absolutely nothing to do with anything other than determining what your skin tone is and which palette of colors to work with to enhance it. It tells you nothing more specific than the range of colors to use. Your specific clothing choices (including fabrics and textures, as well as shapes and lines), makeup shades, and haircolor range all come from developing your personal style through discovering your Image Identity.
For example, Autumns are frequently told to concentrate on use of textures in their wardrobe. Yet Ann-Margret is a Fiery Autumn, but as a Theatrical Romantic, I'd much rather see her in silks, satins, angora, and se quins than rough textures or tweeds any day of the year!
Having your colors done can be a wonderful and exciting addition to your life, and I highly recommend it when it's properly executed. Just be careful not to give it more importance than it's worth. Your coloring is only one part of you - it's worthy of being carefully looked at, but only within the contest of your total look.

Now I’m sure for those of us who are more visual the written descriptions of these colors can be ultra confusing! Unfortunately we can not share the seasonal palettes David has created. However, the palettes as well as a wealth of additional information on the sub seasons, additional celebrities as well as the three make up palettes for each season etc. can be accessed within the Four Season Freedom Facebook Group.
My personal tip is to get a good grasp on basic color theory by understanding what blue based vs yellow based colors look like. A really creative and explorative way to approach this is by getting some paints out and mixing the tones to see how blue (cool) with added yellow (warm) transforms into a warm blue. (Please ensure you use a true Yellow, a true Blue, a true Red, a true Black and a true White).
The goal of the system isn’t to just wear the colors David has in his seasonal palettes - it’s to use these as a jumping off point. So, that you can then take the concept of your coloring and have the ability to intuitively identify colors that harmonise with you rather than pull out a palette on your phone every time you go clothes or make up shopping!
Each season can be quickly understood by what it’s characteristics evoke:

Winter (Cool) is Jewel

Spring (Warm) is Vibrant

Summer (Cool) is Lush

Autumn (Warm) is Fiery

A quick disclaimer!! No season gets boring muted colors. Everyone gets beautifully saturated colors! You won’t see the sad, drab and dull tones often seen in other seasonal color systems here! For example Summer is Lush in tone not muted and Autumn is fiery in tone, again not muted In any sense if the word.

Let’s talk about the defining characteristics tied to certain seasons

I want to preface this part, by reminding us all that much like our Kibbe ID, we are born with the innate characteristics we have ; we are who we are meant to be! And so it’s never a case of being relegated to certain IDs or color seasons based on certain characteristics. But, instead we are embarking on the journey to discover what has always been there with the objective of achieving harmony with ourselves and in doing so bringing out our unique beauty.
Brown eyes Brown eyes are a feature of high contrast coloring and therefore will always be a high contrast season; Autumn or Winter.
Naturally Ginger / Red hair Ginger / Red hair is a warm color (a mix of a golden base with added red) and therefore will always be a warm season; Spring or Autumn.
An Olive undertone Olive is always caused by a blue undertone, therefore it will always be Winter.
Naturally Blonde hair Blonde hair can be any season except for Winter which requires a high level of contrast between the features; Skin/HaiEyes.
The Color Black Black is considered a cool tone that casts a shade on its surrounds, due to its depth of contrast is only given to Winters as with Winters it enhances the clarity of coloring whether-as with all other seasons it muddies their coloring.
The Color White White, on the other hand is universally given to all seasons as it is considered a neutral.

I’ve always been really into ghost stories, or urban legends in general. The White Lady, haunted dolls, vampires, black eyed children, that kind of stuff. I know that, today, people my age aren’t big fans of that kind of horror anymore, preferring it things like the Backrooms, analog horror, all the new kinds of scary media. Honestly, I get it, things do need to evolve, and when we see everything that’s happening in the world, it’s understandable that a good old ghost story don’t do the job anymore.

Still, the “old fashioned” horror (it’s not that old, but things move fast on the internet) is always my jam. I grew up watching youtubers investigating haunted places, ghost hunting, with all their accessories, EMF meters, their little radio thing that they use to listen to radio frequencies so that they can hear any interference, their antenna that beeps when something approaches it, voice recorders, special flashlights, and let me tell you that all this, it was doing it for me.

So, since my, probably 7 years, I dreamt of doing these things myself. Of course, I tried everything a young boy is able to do, like Ouija or stupidly walking around my house with my phone filming, hoping that some random deceased person with unfinished business will show up to, I don’t know, have a chat. I wish I could say that other people’s judgement doesn’t affect me, but that would be a lie, so, going in to high school, I had to socially tone down my interest for those things in order to have friends. None of my friends and classmates knew about my persisting passion for ghosts and creepy stories.

I realize that keeping this such a secret is a bit ridiculous, especially approaching my 18^th birthday, but, you know, it would be even weirder to reveal it after hiding it for almost 6 years like it was something super taboo. So here I was, I started hiding my passion at 12 to avoid other’s judging it, and I’m now still hiding it at 17 to avoid others judging the fact that I hid it… A bit pathetic I got to admit.

Anyway, everything started a few days ago. I have an art history class at school and the teacher really likes to give us big works of research. This time, he had a new idea, the whole class will be divided into groups of two, and each group will receive a building from our city that the teacher had choose for his architectural and artistic interests, and we’ll have to give it a visit and write an analysis on the different things we’ll notice and link it to what we saw in class. Since all the buildings were not public places, he had asked the authorization of every property’s owner.

Honestly, this could have been worse. This actually sounded kinda cool to do. Now, what I was concerned about was who will be my partner. Obviously, I was hoping for one of my friends. After explaining the rules and exact instructions for the work, he started to announce the groups. I was waiting to hear my name, anxious, as all my friends were slowly starting to be put into their groups.

“Joshua!” The teacher said (yeah that’s my name). “You will be with…” I was holding on to my chair. “… Elizabeth!”

I turned to Elizabeth, and we looked at each other. Neither one of us seemed excited. It wasn’t a terrible pair, I thought to myself, I just didn’t know what to think of it exactly. Elizabeth was a pretty popular girl, not that I was an outcast or anything, but she was still way more popular than me. I didn’t know much more about her, despite the fact that we were in the same class since my first year of high school, but it looked like she was going to be an okay partner.

The teacher then gave us our building. I won’t reveal the real name of what he gave us so I’ll call it “Guaraldi’s Street 22”. Apparently, it was a pretty old house that had somewhat of an historic value to it. The teacher gave us some information so we wouldn’t stumble there without any prior knowledge. The owner was an old woman who had always lived there. She was apparently very glad to open her doors to young students and was ready to answer any questions we could have. He warned us that she had a weak audition and that we would have to speak loudly. The teacher then recommended us to do a little bit of research before going there, so we could already have some idea of where we were entering.

I then found myself in front of Elizabeth. I think the last time we even talked to each other was months ago when she was distributing a test to the class and that I said “Thanks”, so, yeah, not a lot of background. I noticed, and I don’t know why it took me so long, I guess I never paid much attention to her, that she was dressed in kind of an old style, she wore some clearly used dungarees. The date the teacher had scheduled for our visit was on Sunday, and we were Thursday.

“So, hum, I guess, we can both do research on our side, and we’ll meet, maybe at lunch break tomorrow to get on the same page. Is that good for you?” She asked me.

“Yeah, that’s good, we can do that.”

“Okay, then, see you tomorrow.” She said.

“See you.”

On that she turned her feet and left for her break. The rest of the day went by and I got back home. As usual, my mom wasn’t there, she often has to work late as she’s a single mom to me and my little sister Rosa. I ate my diner and went to my room. I opened my computer to start my research. It wasn’t hard to find information, even though things were repeating themselves a lot: “so much historical meaning for the city”, “a perfect example of “art-deco” architecture”, “a house filled with stories”. There was a lot of talk by local medias about it, but not much actual facts.

It was so weak, that I had to go to page 2 of the search results on google, or, as I like to call them, “the abyss of the internet” (I’m exaggerating a bit, but it’s not often that you have to go there).
Then, something caught my eyes. It was a forum about paranormal experiences, and the address was mentioned on a post. I immediately clicked on it and read the whole thing. It wasn’t exactly the most thrilling story I’ve read, but here’s what it basically said.

Apparently, the owner opened the house as a cottage during the summer, and the person posting was narrating what he experienced during his passage there. He described a very special and kinda suffocating vibe that was apparently all around the house, and the feeling of being observed all the time. He also talked about hearing voices at random moments. They were brief but often mentioned his name. The end of his testimony talked about his last night, when he said he saw a little child with no facial expression in front of his bed, who slowly started to climb into it and grabbed his legs, trying to pull him outside of his bed. The poster said he eventually succeeded to push the kid away, despite his unreal strength, and that the boy ended up running out of the room, laughing. When he spoke to the owner about it the next morning, she said that it must have been his imagination playing tricks on him, as she didn’t believe in paranormal and that nothing similar ever happened to her.

This wasn’t much, it could have been a complete lie, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t peak my curiosity. The story was as basic as it could be, but it was so specific for it to happen in that place, which was absolutely not famous, and even less for any paranormal events. I kept that in the back of my mind and continued my research, but I didn’t find much more, so I went to sleep.

As I was lying in my bed, I was thinking. What if the person who posted his story said the truth. This was the first time I was going to enter somewhere that old and charged with history, this could be the perfect place for my first ghost-hunt. But of course, I was going for school and won’t be alone, plus, it’s not really respectful to the owner, who kindly opened the doors of her family house to us. And even if I wanted to, I’d be constantly with Elizabeth, so, it was not really an option. I looked at the EMF meter I received for a birthday on my shelf and thought to myself that this would be for another time.

The next day, as planned, I met with Elizabeth at lunch break. We started to share the results of our research, where I did not include the post from the forum for obvious reasons. We talked a bit before coming to a clear conclusion.

“Yeah, the thing is, we have the same exact stuff, there isn’t much interesting infos to be found online, except very surface level stuff.” She said.

“Yes, I think we should prepare the questions we want to ask the owner instead.” I answered.

“You’re right, do you think you can have yours for Sunday?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

We exchanged a bit more and eventually went back to class.

On Saturday, I prepared a few questions to ask the owner.

Then came today, Sunday. The meeting was planned at 11AM. I woke up normally, took a breakfast, got dressed, everything. Before leaving my room, I took one last look at the room and I saw my EMF meter. It was like he was begging me to take him. I grabbed it and left. I didn’t know if I would actually use it, but I had it. It had an option where instead of lighting the small lamps he was vibrating, so I activated that and put it in my pocket.

I arrived at the house and Elizabeth was already waiting for me. We knocked and we could hear the owner walking towards the door saying “Yes, yes, just a second.” She opened and she looked like the sweetest thing ever. She was short and had a naturally kind face. We could see that she was clearly dressed and make up for the occasion. She welcomed us and let us in happily. The hallway was very pretty, I understood why our teacher got us this house, it was indeed very interesting. The walls were covered with paintings and old pictures, mostly portraits. On everyone of these, the people had a very serious look, but that’s not unusual for old pictures.

We walked to the living room where she served us tea and we sat together.

“So, I think you have some questions for me?” She asked. You could see that she was very glad to talk. “Don’t be shy, I’m open.”

Elizabeth started to ask her first question then I did, and we could ask her everything.

The house was her family’s for many generations, but it hadn’t always been theirs. All the persons in the hallway, paintings or pictures, were previous habitants of the house, and they went as far as the 15th century, so, yeah, it was all pretty old. She said they could only know the identity of some of the first generations but that a lot of the people were non identified. She answered a lot of other questions regarding the architectural and artistic heritage of the building, and she was surprisingly very interesting to listen to. Her enthusiasm and kindness were contagious, and we both couldn’t help but ask more questions.

Eventually, we arrived to the end of our list, and it was time for us to visit, take notes, analyze, all that. She asked us not to touch anything, as a lot of things had a lot of value, but let us wander free in the house. She said she’ll be making cookies for when we’ll be done. Elizabeth and I found ourselves alone in the living room and finished our tea.

“God,… She’s adorable.” Said Elizabeth with a smile.

“Yes, she’s so sweet, I wasn’t expecting that.” I said.

“Let’s, maybe start with there.” She said, pointing to the room besides us.

We got up and entered it. The walls were covered by huge bookshelves. Elizabeth started to take notes, looking at the room, and I started inspecting the books. There was probably a more than a thousand books, and some of them looked super old. I read the titles of some of them, and the least I could say was that it needed to be rearranged. “Cooking Asian Food”, “Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince”, some old book with the title erased, and even a CD in the middle, it was a bit random.

We eventually moved on to the hallway. It was a bit oppressing with all those eyes who seemed to observe us. Elizabeth did mention how it felt a bit weird and we started to take notes again. At some point, my look stopped on one painting at the back of the hall. It was a young lady, dressed classically, maybe a bit poorly even, for someone who would have lived there. She was kinda pretty, if I’m being honest. But the reason why it caught my eyes was that it was the only one who was smiling. All the other people represented looked dead serious, but her, she smiled. A sweet, even caring and warm smile. I noticed that it seemed like she was staring at me. Of course, a lot of paintings give that same impression, but it was more intense on her.

My heart skipped a beat. I was sure that I just saw her winked to me. I let out a gasp. I was convinced she winked at me. The vibe went from slightly oppressive to extremely heavy. Then we both heard it.

“Elizabeth.”

An unrecognizable voice had just whispered. Elizabeth turned to me.

“Did you say that?” She asked.

“Elizabeth.”

A younger voice this time. We were facing each other, so we knew it couldn’t be one of us this time, and the owner was in the kitchen. Elizabeth’s eyes opened wide and she slowly walked towards me.

“Elizabeth.”

She jumped.

“WHAT THE… fuck?” I let out. We were looking around us.

“Joshua, I don’t like this…”

“Yeah, me neither.”

We were frozen in place, with all the paintings looking right to us.

“Elizabeth.”

That time it was a deep voice, and it came from behind us. We turned. Slowly, all the faces of the paintings and pictures started to clearly move. They were opening their eyes wide and opening their mouths, maintaining their serious, and now even melancholic look.

“Holy shit, holy shit, what the fuck is that, what is it!” Elizabeth was mumbling, panicking as I was starting to breathe faster.

All the people started to say her name together on repeat: “Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth…” I turned my head to the painting of the young lady from earlier, and she was the only one that wasn’t moving, still the same smile, she looked at peace.

I don’t remember exactly what I was whispering at that moment, but we were both freaking out.

We heard some scratching noise. Long, dirty hands with sharp nails, almost inhumans, were piercing the pictures and paintings. The eyes of the people were becoming all black, and their jaws were opening more than humanly possible as they kept on repeating her name. The hands were all getting closer from us. We were now touching one another, completely surrounded by those hands. Then, they moved way faster and a lot of them got their nails right into Elizabeth’s skin and pierced it while descending all over her body.

She screamed loudly out of pain. It was a terrifying scream. All the hands got to their pictures and back inside of it while closing what they pierced. Soon, the pictures and paintings were back to normal, but Elizabeth was bleeding from all over her body and was on the floor, crying. I got to her level and tried as much as possible to reassure her, but I wasn’t very effective as I was myself in shock and terrified.
We heard the owner walk towards us.

“What’s happening to you two? I heard screams, are you okay?”

She entered the hallway and saw the scene. She looked completely shocked.

“But what happened?” She asked.

Both of us were unable to answer to her, we had no idea what to say that wouldn’t make us sound crazy, so we just looked at her with whatever faces we were making at that moment. She didn’t wait long and went to take a first aid kid. She sat down and put some bandages all over Elizabeth, as I was reflecting on what happened. When she was done, we both wanted to leave, so we said that we had what we needed for now. She looked sorry and packed some cookies for each of us. As we opened the door to leave, she articulated one last phrase.

“I hope you’ll come back.” She had a look and a tone of sadness. We got out and were now on the street.

We both looked at each other. She was covered in bands, like she got into a huge fight. I started to speak but she lifted her hand.

“Not today. Another one.” She said. “I’ll see you at school.” And she left.

I got on my way too and gave one last look to the house. The old owner was watching me from her window, and I couldn’t tell what her expression was.

I was too tired so I ignored it and went back to my house.

I’m posting this now that I’m back at home. I have no news of Elizabeth, but she did add me on Instagram, so…

I have no idea what I should do now, I have so many questions, so, if anyone has any theories, I’ll take it. I’m also open to questions of course…

Hi there!
Boy, I had a lot to say about this one. So far, the Zero series has been a blast. Really excited to keep diving into them! I've heard the ZX series is also good, but a bit weird... but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
As always, if you read all this rambling nonsense, thank you!

Mega Man Zero 2
A game sequel is a great opportunity to fine-tune a great or flawed game. Where Mega Man Zero set the stage for yet another Mega Man spinoff series, Zero 2 is where it begins to find its footing—but not without tripping a bit.
I think Zero 2 can be summed up like this: it is more Mega Man Zero. If you liked that game, you will like this game. It carries over much of what that game established and adds a few minor QOL tweaks to make it shine. Sadly, I think the flaws it doesn’t address is what holds Zero 2 back from being truly great.
Let’s start with the good stuff.
The storyline here is a big step-up. With these games, it’s clear Capcom wanted to place a greater focus on the characters themselves, along with storylines that are a bit more complex than “wake up Mega Man the same asshole you’ve fought for 10 years is, to everyone’s surprise, being an asshole”. The game’s main villain, for example, is a well-meaning chap that starts off on your side but becomes corrupt thanks to what seems to be an intense desire to prove himself—a desire that leads to a ton of collateral damage to both allies and enemies. We establish what I imagine will be a key theme going forward: whatever the hell the Dark Elf is, it seems to latch onto personality quirks that it can use to its advantage and crank them up to 11. Just about every boss you fight exhibits this, especially in the refight stages. It’s not quite going Maverick; something about it feels more sinister, somehow.
The elf system returns, and using them still tanks your rank, but this time you can at least find sub tanks out in the world. A new upgrade system rewards you for playing through levels in specific ways (kill X amount of enemies with a dash attack, kill Y amount of enemies with the buster, etc.) and grants you new forms that do everything from turning your saber combo into a single powerful swing or letting you roly-poly-blenderman your way across stages (a personal favorite, for sure).
Another upgrade system, one that I have mixed feelings on, is EX forms. Bosses still don’t drop their weapons, but if you clear a level while your rank is A or higher, you’ll unlock a unique, often powerful ability. I’m mixed on this because on one hand, rewarding skilled play is great. It incentivizes more playthroughs and taking the time to master the game’s systems (and, indeed, I do really want to play this one again and see if I can improve! And I wanna try hard mode! Mega Man games do not typically have this effect on me!). On the other… well. I don’t think it’s very fun to grant awards that ultimately make the game easier and more fun… to highly skilled players only. I feel like they could’ve balanced this better. If nothing else, tying the “damage” points to how much health you have at the end of a boss vs. how much damage you took throughout the level may have balanced it out more.
Or perhaps I should simply “git gud” as the kids say. (Do the kids still say this? Sorry. I’m an old)
One thing to the game’s detriment is that weapon upgrades return, and they’re just as clunky as before. Kill X enemies with a weapon and you’ll unlock a new ability for it, and just like Zero 1, the charge shot takes way too long to get to. Let me charge my damn shots, Capcom! Why make me wait?
The other returning flaws are harder to blame the game for—i.e., the GBA’s screen size making it harder to avoid damage from off-screen (and spikes, Capcom please, you do not need to put spikes at the bottom of a long drop, who hurt you?). Things like that.
Along with returning flaws come a handful of new ones. The most significant one being the Chain Rod. I don’t really know how to sugar coat this: the Chain Rod sucks. As a weapon it’s mostly fine, I guess. But the utility is bafflingly poor. The intended use of it is to use it as a grappling hook, swinging across ceilings to avoid spikes or to reach higher, hard-to-reach spots. The problem is that it feels awful to use. Building momentum simply isn’t possible—it stops you dead in your tracks unless you manage to angle the shot just right during a jump. Maybe my brain is just hard-wired to use these things a certain way (Super Metroid, Super Castlevania IV, and even Environmental Station Alpha comes to mind) but there was almost never a point where using this thing felt better than just jumping across a gap or finding some other way to get to an Elf.
That aside, when I say this game is “more Mega Man Zero” that does mean all the good things as well. Boss fights? Sublime. Zero’s controls? Smooth. The spritework? Immaculate. Ultimately, I feel that Zero 2 is an improvement over Zero 1 in almost every conceivable way. But there are enough little things carried over from the first that I’m left wanting more. It is for that reason that I’m giving it a slightly lower score.
8/10

Classic Series 1-4 Classic Series 5-6 Classic Series 7-8 Classic Series 9-10
Mega Man X Mega Man X2 Mega Man X3 Mega Man X4
Mega Man X5 Mega Man X6 Mega Man X7 Mega Man X8
Mega Man Zero

I want to take a moment to list out some of my most challenging problems with Protestantism according to what Scripture says, in no particular order. It is not a comprehensive list of all of the problems that I have with it, but having these answered would go a long way to me taking Protestantism seriously from a theological viewpoint.
We should rely on our own personal interpretation of Scripture
And we have the prophetic word made more sure. You will do well to pay attention to this as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. ²⁰ First of all you must understand this, that no prophecy of scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, ²¹ because no prophecy ever came by the impulse of man, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.
Here, Peter is saying PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHURCH!!! Listen to what the apostles are teaching and allow that to form your reading of Scripture. If you read the rest of this chapter, He says that "we" (the apostles) have had given to them, "all things that pertain to life and godliness" through knowledge of Jesus Christ. When we read Scripture, we should not read it solely with our own understanding, but allow ourselves to be taught by the apostles (or those appointed by them as successors).
When it comes to Sola Scriptura, I do not see how it is not relying on one's own personal interpretation. How do I know that I am understanding Scripture correctly? How do I know that I do not have an interpretation that is horribly off base? I have never really gotten an answer to this from Protestants.
If I am debating Scripture, according to Protestants, I am debating the sole highest authority. So if I test my interpretation against something else, I am testing against a lesser authority and thus it can still be challenged and I have not sufficiently solved the problem.
We only need to declare Jesus as Lord to get to Heaven
“Not every one who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Here Jesus flatly says professing that Jesus is Lord is not enough to get you into Heaven, but doing the will of the Father. Yes, we are saved by faith through grace. If you get baptized and are shot dead the moment you walk out of the church, you will go to Heaven having done nothing except making that "leap of faith." If you are in a car crash and have a minute to live and all you can do is place your trust in Jesus, yes, you will be saved. But for 99.99999% of people, this is not the case. We have our entire lives to live after baptism. So the question is "Do we live according to what we profess with our mouth?"
If I say "I am an Orioles fan." but only ever go to/watch Yankees games and only ever root for the Yankees, would you say that I am actually an Orioles fan? Do I not call into question that statement that I made by my actions? What if I grow up as an Orioles fan, regularly attending games and watching them daily. But then later, my favorite player gets traded to the Yankees and I convert to a Yankees fan. Was I never an Orioles fan to begin with? No. That would be silly. I was an Orioles fan, but then became a Yankees fan.
Likewise, if I say "I am a Christian and believe that Jesus rose from the dead." But I never attend Church, I am not loving others, I am worshipping other gods, etc. Am I really a Christian? Maybe I was at one point, but I certainly am not now based on what I have done.
As such, yes, it is true that works do not save us, but if we act contrary to what we believe, we cannot have assurance of our salvation. Hopefully God still finds a way to bring us to Heaven. I would rather someone spend 1000 years after death having their soul purified knowing that they will go to Heaven then know for a fact that they are in Hell. Even so, we must recognize that Hell is real, it is a real possibility.
Baptism does not save
He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.
Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, ²² who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.
I have ZERO idea where some Protestants get this idea from. The idea that Baptism is not salvific is not at all Scriptural. This really ties into the "Sola Fide" bit of this post.
The Eucharist is merely symbolic
I am the bread of life. ⁴⁹ Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. ⁵⁰ This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that a man may eat of it and not die. ⁵¹ I am the living bread^\)^c\) which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh.”
⁵² The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”^\)^d\) ⁵³ So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; ⁵⁴ he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. ⁵⁵ For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. ⁵⁶ He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. ⁵⁷ As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. ⁵⁸ This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever.” ⁵⁹ This he said in the synagogue, as he taught at Caper′na-um.
Jesus flat out says "This bread that I am talking about here is my flesh." So the disciples challenge Him saying "You mean this figuratively right?... RIGHT?
So Jesus responds repeating himself over and over in verses 53 through 58. How many times does Jesus need to say something for you to believe it? You will latch on to a singular verse that teaches something you agree with (or seems to) for dear life at the exclusion of literally any other verse on the topic, but something else is taught multiple times and you don't believe it? I am confused about how Protestants read the Bible. It does not seem to be in any kind of coherent exegesis.
You are allowed to get divorced and remarried... at all.
“Every one who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. ⁶ But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,^\)^a\) ⁸ and the two shall become one.’^\)^b\) So they are no longer two but one.^\)^c\) ⁹ What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
He said to them, “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹ And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity,^\)^c\) and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman, commits adultery.”
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Marriage is "until death do us part." The teachings on divorce from the Gospels is trying to set a trap for Jesus to see which rabbinical school he agrees with. Jesus comes out and says. "Neither." He says "Yeah. Moses allowed for divorce. But this is not how it was from the beginning. What about that "except for unchastity" phrase in Matthew (and only Matthew)?
There Matthew is talking about unions that God did not join together. He is talking about invalid marriages that his primarily Jewish readers would have been thinking about. The gentile converts to Christianity would not have thought about these weird situations, so this is excluded from the other gospels.
You can get re-baptized
There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
Some that want to say that you can get rebaptized jump to Acts 19. Reading this passage, it would seem that what is going on here is that the Baptism by John was not in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Paul is essentially saying that the "baptism" that they had received was not valid. He does not say that he "baptized them again into Christ." Rather it says that Paul "baptized them in the name Jesus Christ." As in they were not baptized into Christ, so Paul baptized them "for real this time."
You can only be cleansed from Original Sin once. After that, you can confess your sins and have them forgiven. Baptism is what makes into a child of God. That can only happen once. To do otherwise is a grave sin because you are saying that God was not powerful enough to save you the first time. Again, if a baptism is deemed to be invalid, this is a different story. This is why Paul asks "Into what were you baptized?"
The Church is simply the collection of believers
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Here it is clear that the "Church" is something more than a collection of believers. Jesus teaches here that first, you deal with disagreement 1 on 1. If that does not work, you go and get other believers to help show that they are wrong. If that does not work, then take to the Church. If even that does not work, they are to be treated as an unbeliever (excommunicated).
Certainly, all believers are a part of the Church - which is the body of Christ. The Church is not a parish or a singular building. The Church is universal, but there is a clear structure to it. There are priests, bishops, elders, etc. There is real authority in that structure. This article goes over in Scripture and towards the bottom the Church Fathers what the Church is meant to look like: https://www.scripturecatholic.com/the-biblical-church/
Many Protestant ideas sound nice, but I do not want to believe something merely because it sounds nice. Dessert for dinner sounds nice but it is not good for my body. Likewise, we should not judge something on "does it sound nice." We should judge something on whether it is good for our souls.
I look at many Protestant theological views and note how they seem to not be based in Scripture or based on a misunderstanding of Scripture. I would love to see if Protestants can properly answer these. Simply quoting verses that seem to back you up is not enough here. You need to show that these other verses are not problematic.
I do not only want to trust in Jesus, I want to trust that I am following everything that he taught. Jesus commanded the apostles to teach all that He has commanded, not just the important stuff. If you get the main stuff right but other things wrong, you still got it wrong. If a teacher gave a 10 question quiz and said, "You got questions 1, 2, 5, and 7 right, but everything else wrong. It is ok though those questions were the most important." I still get a failing grade. So, if you want me to convert to Protestantism you need to show that you actually follow all of Scripture, because I want to strive to get a 100% on the "test" of salvation. After all Jesus told us to "Be perfect as Your Heavenly Father is perfect" Not "Be kind of perfect as Your Heavenly Father is perfect."

Episode Description

Simba leaves Kiara in charge of the Pride Lands while he, Nala, and Zazu go to Kilio Valley to attend a funeral for an old elephant friend named Amanifu who has just died. Upon learning this from Mzingo, Janja decides to take advantage of Kiara's inexperience and comes up with a plan to take over the Pride Lands. Meanwhile, Simba is nervous about performing his eulogy in front of the elephants, including Aminifu's daughter, Ma Tembo.
Song: "Duties of the King" sung by Simba and Zazu

Pros
-First off, I like the sibling dynamic in this episode, as somebody with a similarly aged older brother. Kion and Kiara's relationship has resonated with me, the way they have off days and arguments, but, obviously love each other and make it out strong in the end. I, for one, do not hate Kiara in The Lion Guard, and Kion gives her the same attitude she gives him in early episodes. I like watching their relationship go through ups and downs throughout Season 1.
-I know the opening scene, where Kiara and Kion are fighting over a tree to sharpen their claws is quite intense, because they would've probably gotten into a scuffle if Simba hadn't showed up when he did, but, that is siblings for you sometimes. I feel like anyone who's got siblings of your own can relate, at least a little bit, to that scene.
-I like the plotline of Kiara and Kion's sibling rivalry stemming from their roles in leadership. Kiara is clearly a reflection of her father, when he was a cub, which is interesting and so, she thinks that being the Future Queen is really swell and makes her the alpha, and Kion (who is no better than her) thinks that being Leader of the Lion Guard makes him more important than her. I like this mechanic in this episode. It makes me want to know if Scar felt the same way about Mufasa. I mean, Kion was obviously not resentful of Kiara, unlike Scar, but I wonder if a similar thing happened with the two brothers except, in this case, it drove Scar to insanity and wanting to murder Mufasa.
-Now let's talk about Kiara being left in charge of the Pride Lands (I mean, I do think the main conflict of the episode was Simba's fault, but we'll get to that later). So, I like the fact that Kiara is nervous about ruling the Pride Lands, even for a brief period of time. I like this because for one thing, she's still only a cub at this time, so, she's entitled to be nervous and anxious about being responsible for an entire kingdom. There's a lot of responsibility being placed on her at such a young age, but, she still remained likable, in my opinion. I do like how, in The Lion Guard, she takes her responsibility as Future Queen very seriously. I know this is unpopular to say, but, I headcanon that, as she's grown up into an older cub, she's realised that being queen won't prevent her from being herself, a concern she had at the beginning of TLK 2.
-I do empathise with Kiara, and Kion, because they are both being put into a huge responsibility of looking after the entire kingdom on their own, while all the adults are away from Pride Rock. This is still really early on in Season 1, so Kion is inexperienced as Leader of the Lion Guard, and Kiara only just started her training with Simba, in the pilot episode. I do feel bad at the fact that they have to figure everything without their parents around and I respect them for managing to work out their differences by the end of the episode.
-I really feel bad for Kiara because she gets a lot of crap from people in the TLG community, moreso than Kion does. I feel really sorry for her because people say they hate her for her attitude and that they think she's a self-righteous bitch at the start of the series, but, I don't. Even as a kid, I knew that a lot of Kiara's behaviour in this episode was down to the stress of being left in charge of whole kingdom for a few days without her parents around, while still being a cub at this point. I do really like her and it really upsets when I see people hating on her. I don't think Kiara really means to be controlling in this episode, she's just trying to do right by her father while he's gone.
-I like the fact that Kiara is really hesitant and nervous to have a huge weight on her shoulders, a role she was previously really excited to fulfil in the pilot episode. When Simba asks this of her, she's understanding feeling a lot of pressure to make him proud. I like the fact that Simba admits to her that he was also nervous about becoming king the first time. I like this because we only saw the side of him that was cocky, overconfident and optimistic about becoming king. I like the fact that she was nervous and that he decides to be upfront about it.
-Kiara still remained a likable character to me throughout this episode. I like how she starts out as nervous and how her confidence is slowly building up nicely during the episode. But, she never came off as mean-spirited, to me. Also, it becomes clear that the reason her responsibility goes to her head is because of Tiifu and Zuri's influence on her and the Lion Guard's inexperience and, in this case, plot-convenient incompetence.
-Beshte, "I'm sure she'll be a nice queen." Well, I'm glad at least one of you believes in her. I can't tell you guys how much I love Beshte, always the sweetest soul out of the group.
-Ono, "Thank you for the opportunity, my queen. And you.... err..... my Kion." That line was funnier than it had any right to be.
-Speaking of which, I thought seeing Ono in Zazu's position, temporarily for Kiara was interesting and I think was a great use of his character, outside of being a Member of the Lion Guard. I personally would've been down for more scenes like this. I think a cool send off for Ono would've been to have him be the Royal Advisor to Queen Kiara and King Kovu, in the future. I wish Ono had stayed in the Pride Lands in the series finale and had become Zazu's apprentice or something.
-Bunga, "Your majesty." {bows at Kiara}. Kiara, "Bunga, that's really not necessary." I found that whole interaction surprisingly funny. Also, strong feeling that Bunga has a huge crush on his best friend's sister at this point, and Kiara views him as her friend, nothing more.
-Kiara's plan about the Bees and the Eelands fiasco was actually very smart, and even when I saw this as a kid, I knew that she had a better idea than Kion. Her idea about moving the eelands away from bees' nests is smarter because bees obviously sting when angered. So, Kion was too proud to admit Kiara had the better idea.
-One of the funniest parts of the whole episode for me was Kion saying, "I say we move the bees". Then, the scene cuts to Kion, Beshte, Fuli and Ono running away from a swarm of bees, in terror. I obviously don't want them hurt, but, I just had to laugh because it was so predictable.
-Bunga, "What are you guys running for? Bees taste even better when they're mad!" Accurate behaviour from a honey badger. They can raid beehives without being stung due to their very thick hide and their stink sap.
-When the Lion Guard arrived back at Pride Rock covered in bee stings, if I were Kiara, I'd be laughing in Kion's face at that moment, like "Ha, ha, you were wrong. Only an idiot would decide to move a swarm of bees to a new place." But, in fairness, Kiara was right to be mad at him, in that moment, for his little screw up.
-"It wasn't a total disaster," Kion, while talking to Kiara. Kiara, looks at Fuli and Ono scratching themselves, "Really? It looks pretty total to me." I mean, she does have a point there. In this situation, Kion had everything to gain from taking her advice.
-However, I do like the fact this episode shows that Kiara and Kion are not perfect leaders yet, they're still fairly young and are only just finding their feet, so it's natural for them to have some minor slip ups, that they learn from, like every kid does.
-"Admit it. I was right about the bees and you were wrong." Kion, just admit it and save yourself the embarrassment. Kiara was not being rude to him whatsoever. She was speaking nothing but facts.
-When Kiara talks to Mzingo at Pride Rock, I like the fact that the latter is clearly higher up in the frame because he's the one dominating the conversation and is also the one who manipulates Kiara. I think it's a nice touch where he creepily approaches and blackmails her.
-*laughs "Janja wants peace?" I like the fact that Kiara is clearly sceptical and she's obviously suspicious of Janja's true intentions. I like this because it doesn't make Kiara out to be seriously wayyy too gullible and silly. The fact that was she was suspicious feels more in-line with TLK 2 and makes her decision to believe Janja, partially Kion's fault. Manipulation is also a very powerful tool, especially to done on a semi-young child, like Kiara.
-I like the fact that Mufasa appears to Kion, unprompted in this episode, for the first time in the series. I love this because it feels like Mufasa saw the argument that had just gone down and was like, "Right I need to put an end to this sibling drama before it gets out of hand. I need to make Kion see the error of his ways."
-I actually love the fact that Kiara is, at least partially willing, to give Outlanders a chance for peace. It feels like a nice bit of foreshadowing for her character arc in TLK 2, where she was able to give the Outsider lions a chance to fit in.
-Kion angrily to Tiifu and Zuri, "Ugh! Some advisors you two are!" That was more hilarious than it had any right to be. Because, let's be honest, they were pretty obnoxious in this episode.
-"Get away from the Queen!!!!" I actually love the moment where Kion comes bursting in like a superhero, to his sister's aid. I also love the fact that he calls Kiara his queen, at this point, because he clearly listened to Mufasa's advice, and also because he had felt somewhat responsible for her almost being killed by Janja.
-"Oh we can fight all right!!!" So badass. I personally would've loved to see Kiara fight alongside the Lion Guard. I think it would've been cool to see her help to fight off Janja's clan. I wanted to see what she could do.
-"Six on six..... Forget it!!!!" Yeah, you better run, Janja, you don't stand a chance against all six of these heroic friends. And one of them is a bloody hippo.
-I love Kion and Kiara's closeness at the end of the episode where they make up for their uncivil, squabbling at the start. Kion finally rightfully admits that he should've taken Kiara's advice about the bees and the elands, and Kiara admits that Kion was right about Janja being nothing but trouble.
-Kion, "And I should've listened to you about the bees." Ono, "Oh, sure {rolls his eyes}. Now he admits it." Oh, Ono, you knew all along, but, we love you.
-Kiara and Kion when Simba and Nala arrive home, are really sweet. I love the fact that Kiara wants to be honest about what happened, "Ruling the Pride Lands? It went..." I absolutely love the moment where Kion decides to cover for her and admits that she'll be a great queen, this is an incredibly sweet brother and sister moment. That moment feels like a precursor to the episode "Baboons" and even later "The Trail to Udugu."
-I love the moral of this episode about "being supportive of your loved ones efforts to help, especially when they are wrong," because it applies to both Kiara and Kion in two different situations. Kion was obviously wrong to go against Kiara's advice to move the elands, but, Kiara learned that she should've been more sensitive about that whole situation. But, Kion also learned that if hadn't been so dismissive of her acting queen for a few days and given her his utmost support when she was clearly nervous about ruling the Pride Lands. If Kion and Kiara been more sensitive to each other, then, they would've been able to be in charge of the Pride Lands together instead of arguing. Also, this episode shares another moral, "Communication is key to understanding each other and a successful team." Kiara learns this after Kion saves her and she realises she was wrong about Janja, and Kion learns this when the Lion Guard get stung by bees, and even later when he realises that he was partly to blame for Kiara going into the Outlands, and that if he had been upfront with her instead of outright yelling at her and running out on her, she wouldn't have needed to be rescued. These are two important lessons for kids going through school together, or with siblings and friends.
-Also, Janja is genuinely dangerous and scary in this episode. He traps Kiara in the Outlands to use her as a bargaining chip for Simba or else he and his would eat her. They would've gotten away with it if Kion didn't jump in at the last second. Janja threatened the freaking princess of the Pride Lands! Reason number #50 why he should never be allowed enter the Pride Lands, no matter if he is starving or not, because he clearly cannot be trusted to follow the rules.
-And now I'm finally going to talk about the B-plot of the episode. It wasn't as good the A-plot, in my opinion. I did love the worldbuilding aspect of this episode where we learn that different animals in the Pride Lands have their own customs and traditions that need to be respected. I like the idea of Simba upholding a tradition and it was interesting that he was never trained for it because obviously Mufasa died before he could complete his training.
-I like the idea of Simba, Nala and Zazu going to an elephant funeral. Elephants actually have "funerals" in real life. In real life, if a member of their herd dies, the elephants will crowd around them ceremoniously to pay tribute and they'll collect twigs and branches to cover the fallen elephant to pay tribute, out of respect for them. I love the way its portrayed as a ceremonial funeral in The Lion Guard and that Simba is upholding a tradition. I love the way he has to say it in Elephantese because the idea of the elephants' having a language barrier is a cool worldbuilding element.
-Aminifu is a cool worldbuilding character too who, we're told, played a big part in the Pride Lands' revival and bringing the circle of life into balance. I like to headcanon we was a childhood friend of Mufasa and Scar, and the rest of the Royal Family, and how he go on to be a good friend to Simba, Nala and the rest of Simba's pride. I like to think Aminifu was responsible for all the animals in the kingdom, similar to the Lion Guard, and how his daughter fills that role in Season 2.
-The Elephant Funeral scene looks cool because of how emotional and how heart-wrenching it looks from afar. I like the addition of all the elephants mourning in the background. It was a little dark this early on the series. One elephant hugs Aminifu and looks like their going to cry, another elephant and her calf are crying, while hugging each other.
-I like how you can see shades of Mufasa's death through Simba's voice in this episode, such as, "And now Aminifu has completely his part of the circle of life," and "Well, time for the tribute." I like this because I like to think Simba is obviously nervous about performing a eulogy in front of elephants, but, probably also a bit upset and mourning over his own father's death. I mean, in fairness, he never to give his father a proper send off when he died, so, this probably hit even harder for him.
-I like how this is Zazu's first main character moment in the series and how much of a hard worker and a loyal he is to Simba and Nala, his whole motivation is just to help Simba learn Elephantese properly so he can impress Ma Tembo's herd, during the tribute.
-Nala is such a sweetheart and a loving partner to Simba. I love her because she's pretty much exactly how she was in the original film. She's his loving and supportive wife, and I love the way he gives him moral support when he gets nervous. I love her snarky jab at her husband early on the episode too, by the way, "Worried about Kiara? Or are you worried about your tribute?"
-The song "Duties of the King" was decent enough, I suppose. I mean, it's not my favourite song in the series and I wouldn't be reaching for it. But, I don't hate it. I like the more cutesy, "miscellaneous" animals shown in the background, like the chimpanzees and the porcupines. Plus, it's nice to know that Simba doesn't just sit on his ass all day and that he does important jobs, like he assigns gazelles to their grazing grounds and songbirds to their trees. I love that he presides over aardvark wedding rites and then we saw Muhanga and Muhangus kissing behind some grass. So, I wonder if Simba did in fact, preside over their wedding before this episode. Overall, I like the cute scenes of this song and I like the fact that Simba actually has important stuff to do. I can see why kids would dance around to this song because it's very bouncy and energetic. The beat is fine, but, I don't like Rob Lowe's singing voice as Simba. I think they should've used Cam Clarke all along for The Lion Guard, who actually voices Mwoga the vulture. I don't mind the beat, but, I don't think Simba and Zazu are the best singers, at least in this series, that is. I'll give it a 5/10 because there are worse songs than it.
-Ma Tembo is such a sweetheart in this episode and I love her. She doesn't have a major role in the series as of yet, but, it's still clear in this episode that she has a great relationship with Simba and the Royal Family. I'm glad she had a bigger part in Season 2. I also love her voice actress, Lynette DuPree (R.I.P) and I think she's one of the best in the series. I love how she makes her sound genuinely sad during the procession and then a little bittersweet during the "poop" scene. Also, shout out to the moment where she wraps her trunk around Simba.
-Also, call me childish if you want to, but I actually love it when Simba actually says that Aminifu had "poop on him". I mean, it just gets me because that's not something you'd say at a funeral and the fact that the elephants took it really well and actually laughed hysterically is genuinely hilarious. Like, even his daughter admitted that he had always had faeces on him. It was funny because of how much Simba feels like he screwed up, but, then, the elephants had a really good sense of humour about it.
-Also, this episode makes me wish that at least someone went to the Elephant Graveyard during this series. Maybe Aminifu's funeral could've been there and Simba and Nala would've had to go the place where they almost got killed as cubs or maybe even Kion and the Lion Guard would have to go there. It's such a missed opportunity. Or if Janja went there then maybe he could've learn that Scar betrayed his ancestors long before the events of The Lion Guard. But, speaking of the Elephant Graveyard, I bet Ma Tembo's herd are going to wait for Aminifu to decompose and then carry his remains to the Graveyard because that's something that elephants do if a member of their herd dies outside of their designated area. I like to think that that's what happened after this episode. I just wish they had the funeral in the Elephant Graveyard and we got to see Simba and Nala go there as adults, but, I'm not going to fault this episode for not going in this direction.
-Zazu, "I'm not sure Sire, but, I think you just said he had.... {quietly} poop on him...." Try not to judge me too harshly, but, I just find poop jokes hilarious for some reason, as an adult.
Cons
-First off, I don't like how Kion and Kiara were both dumbed down for the sake of plot-convenience for much of this episode. I get that they're still kids, but, Kion's plans to move the bees instead of the elands was the most stupid idea I've seen in the series. The literally just had an episode where Kion calls out his best friend, Bunga, for making bad decisions and now it's Kion who made a really dumb decision. I mean, that should be bee rescue 101, don't try to move a swarm of bees, they do not like, and the fact that Kiara spells it out for them before this scene, "....if the elands step on the beehives, they'll get stung.... there could be chaos." She's speaking nothing but facts. Kion should've realised that they shouldn't have tried to aggravate the bees. I don't like the fact that he acts cocky and dismissive towards Kiara, when she was so obviously right. However, Kiara was dumb to go into the Outlands alone to see Janja. I mean, I admire her willingness to give strangers a chance for peace, but the fact that she had her suspicions about him and she already knew what he was like, in accordance to the pilot episode, wouldn't she see reason to bring Tiifu and Zuri along for backup.
-I don't like how this episode seems to indicate that Simba favours his daughter over his son. Between the pilot episode and this episode, it seems like he sees Kion as a just a Child Soldier and doesn't actually love him equally. I know it's obviously not through, but, I don't like how he gives off an impression that he has favourites. Parents don't have favourites, unless you're an evil lioness named Zira and you give your youngest son everything, but then treat your eldest son like dirt. But, Simba isn't like that. I don't like how he says "I have faith in you," in such a way that gives off Parental Favouritism vibes. I'm really glad he doesn't have this in any of the later episodes.
-I hate the way the writers tried to do the Kion/Scar and Kiara/Mufasa parallels in this episode. I just don't like it being used as a plot device. The series makes a point to say that Kion is nothing like Scar and how he would never take his anger out on his family and friends. I don't mind Kiara being like her grandfather because he was a great king in his day, but, I don't like how the writers made Kion and Kiara have a similar relationship that led to Mufasa's fall. Also, one thing I loathed early on in the series is the fanart of Kion brutally murdering Kiara in rage, just like Scar murdered Mufasa. I just hate it so much because it would happen since Kiara and Kion have a caring relationship, where they do bicker like siblings tend to do, but, they would never turn on each other.
-I don't like the part where Kiara and Kion were outright malicious towards each other. All the lion cubs in this episode were quite mean-spirited at times. Kion and Kiara for obviously constantly fighting and being horrible instead of admitting to being wrong in certain situations, like the bees and the elands and the Janja situation. Kion is too cocky and overconfident about the bees, for my liking, and Kiara allows Tiifu and Zuri's influence to get her head and ends up believing she's always right. Kion only adds fuel to the fire by yelling at Kiara and then callously running out her instead of being upfront with her about Janja's true intentions. I get that siblings don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but, I don't like Kion and Kiara constantly being scumbags to each other and not giving things a second thought until the end. Mufasa had to be the one to put an end to the "sibling drama".
-Tiifu and Zuri were the worst of all, in my opinion, and I think all of you guys will agree. They were pretty annoying and obnoxious in this episode. They were very disrespectful and condescending towards Kion just because he's not a queen, and they caused Kiara to be disrespectful right back. Kiara doesn't strike me as disrespectful without these two around. I'm glad she actually stands up to them in later episodes rather than being influenced by them. Zuri is my least favourite of the two of them, she comes off as super mean-spirited and bitchy, and Tiifu comes off as domineering and rude. I don't like the way they talk down and belittle Kion and how they throw shade at anyone who believes Kiara is wrong. They act like stereotypical Mean Girls, but, the annoying kind. Plus, they weren't very good friends to Kiara for letting her go into the Outlands alone without a second thought about the fact that it might be dangerous. That doesn't sound like Tiifu. Remember how in the pilot, she was deeply concerned when Kiara was trapped by the gazelles. But, here, the stakes are much higher, and she's up against a much bigger threat and Tiifu and Zuri don't seem to give a damn. I'm glad Kion called them out on this behaviour before leaving. What I wouldn't give for Tiifu and Zuri to be captured by Janja instead, not to get eaten, but just so they can see how dangerous it is. It's episodes like this that make me wonder are they her actual best friends or are they just using her to hang out with the Royal Family. Kiara deserves better than these self-entitled bitches, in my opinion.
-I feel like Kiara should've been the main focus of this episode instead of Kion. I know this only S1 Ep4, but, I still think this should've been a Kiara focused episode, rather than a brothesister episode. I would've been interested to see Kiara take centre stage and the Lion Guard take a back seat. Then, we could've seen more of Kiara's apprehension about becoming Queen and her trying to make all the decisions without Simba around to guide her, and most importantly, see her trying to decide what sort of Queen she wants to be. I would've loved if Kion tried to be supportive of her and tries to help her watch over the entire kingdom, instead of saying "Screw you Kiara, go get herself killed if you want to and my friends hate you." I would've liked to see that explored and maybe have them be a little bit annoyed at each other, but without making them really malicious. Also, have Tiifu and Zuri be in their annoying phase and for Kiara to realise that her "so-called" friends are not being very good friends to her, and have her ditch those bitches at the end of the episode. Then, have Kiara and Kion make some big decision together that really develops their relationship, in the future.
-I don't like how Simba is portrayed for much of this episode. I know, he was mourning the loss of an old friend, but I really don't like angry Simba moments in this series. I don't like the fact that all Zazu was doing was trying to help him practice his eulogy and Simba gets frustrated and roars in his face. I hate it when he throws tantrums, as a full-grown adult lion. I hate the idea of Simba regressing more into his evil uncle as of this series. I know he's not, but, I hate it when acts like it. Zazu, bless him, was just trying to help and Simba took out his rage on him. I do not like it when Zazu has to be the butt of all the jokes. I don't like Simba being a headstrong asshole in The Lion Guard.
-I also don't want to point fingers, but, if Simba hadn't left his semi-young daughter to rule over an entire kingdom for a few days, none of the conflict would've happened if he left Kion and Kiara with a responsible adult, like Rafiki or Basi or someone, just to keep an eye on things. I wouldn't leave kids their age home alone for even a day or more than an afternoon. If they had an adult in Pride Rock with them, the arguing wouldn't have spiralled out of control the way that it did. Also, this makes no sense with Simba's character in TLK 2. This is the same guy who sheltered his daughter the whole time she was growing up and wouldn't even let her explore more than 2ft from Pride Rock or even leave Pride Rock, at another point in the film. In this episode, she's still a cub and he's okay with leaving her to look after an entire kingdom for days on end! Yes, he did show hesitation, but that was after he and Nala had already left the Pride Lands. This episode fails to show just how okay he was with leaving his preteen daughter in charge of the kingdom for a few days with no adult supervision. Also, this episode and the series fails to explain how he regressed back into his over-protective state of mind in the second half of TLK 2.
-A minor complaint I have. This is a very minor nitpick. But, the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands that was established in this episode is very confusing. This episode implies that the elephants live approximately a two or three day walk from the Pride Lands, enough for Simba to outside of the kingdom, when in other episodes it's actually a part of the Pride Lands, just barely on the outskirts of the kingdom. I also don't get why the writers made it seem like Simba, Nala and Zazu took like a day or less to arrive at the elephants' funeral. There's no indication that they were travelling at night or that they ever slept. However, I understand, the writers just wanted to show some of journey and then transition to the day of the funeral, so I won't fault it to harshly. However, I do wish that the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands was consistent. This episode makes it seem like that whenever Kion and his friends have to help the elephants, it would take them a whole day to arrive on the scene. But, that's just a small criticism I had with this episode.
Overall
So, overall, I did always thoroughly enjoy this episode. Even as a kid, I could not stand the fact that Kiara got a lot of hate in the Lion Guard Fandom and that loads of people blamed her, just her, for a lot of the drama in this episode. Kion and Kiara shared 50% of the blame each and I think that Kiara is overhated. Anyways, I did like Kion and Kiara interacting like real siblings and slowly learning how to work together, it felt a little bit like a prequel to "Baboons" and "The Trail to Udugu", in that way. I like the lesson about learning to communicate well and to listen to one another and that they were both in the right and wrong, at different points. I liked the loving sibling dynamic at the end and the friendship with all the Lion Guard. I like the sense of family between Simba, Nala, Kiara and Kion at the end. Janja poses as a genuinely threat to Kiara. I think the humour was pretty solid as well and the educational value. I liked the worldbuilding aspect and the elephants' relationship with the lions. Aminifu is a cool headcanon character. The only parts I didn't like were, Tiifu and Zuri were unbearably annoying in this episode and weren't very good friends to Kiara. I don't like them being stereotypical Middle School girls. I hate their disrespect and belittling towards Kion and their toxic influence on Kiara. I didn't like Kiara and Kion's maliciousness at the start or the fact that the writers tried to draw Mufasa/Scar parallels. I don't like angry Simba at all in this series. I hate the fact that he gives off Parental Favouritism vibes in this episode. I don't like the fact that Kion and Kiara were hit with the idiot stick in this episode. Simba and Tiifu and Zuri are kind of at fault for all the drama in this episode. The song was just decent, not the best not the worst. Overall, I'll give this episode a 6.5/10, it's not perfect, but I think it deserves more love in the fandom and I think there are way worse episodes than it.

I got bored one day and just decided to watch youtube.
well that was the day I discovered a "cryptid" which also discovering like all creatures they can indeed die so naturally I got a sudden idea of hunting a few.. of course I've seen a few posts on this reddit and most said never do it alone so then I gathered 4 different people all 3 were military
which is good because they were good with hand to hand combat no doubt I felt confident but since we still needed a plan of finding one because everyone had their doubts they existed besides one guy which was just someone who wanted to tag along and we agreed but he said he actually seen one as a kid but one of the military people (his name was john) said that as a kid you could see things since your brain was still developing but I'm gonna do a thing to show what they said
John: "well ya know you can easily see sh** as a kid since your brain was still growing"
the random person: "well yeah but I was 15 years old which it kind of stops doing that"
John: "yeah I don't know but can we get a move on? I'm supposed to go somewhere later.'
after that one of us gave out the smart idea of going to a wooden area filled with trees where you could not even see the sky which made a weird setting.. almost felt like it wasn't real and another guy (Kain) pointed out we let a random guy we have never seen before tag along and we were going to ask but when we turned to him he was gone.
now that seems unlikely, right? well we seen footsteps we thought he bailed didn't seem like a struggle but john knew something was off and we followed the footsteps and we followed for an hour but Kain as always quickly pointed out that the steps were getting father apart; he was running fast but their was no other tracks so clearly he was just lost.
we just called the cops and explained he seemed to have gotten lost
Cop: "why didn't he just follow his tracks to get back to you guys?"
everyone went silent and just looked at each other and the cop shook their head and walked over to the foot prints and asked us what kind of shoes the guy was wearing (we didn't know and though the cop could tell by the foot prints alone)
John: "I don't think this is something people often pay attention towards, okay?
Cop:" I mean these are not shoes these are bare foot prints almost animal"
for some reason it was only one cop and we though nothing of it and I forget everything kinda happened but he did leave and we didn't really go back we continues actually
our only items were: a flashlight, bottles of water, military food supply which john had almost all the time.
we set a camp in a clearing
John: "we should just set a lamp down and keep it their. after all a "cryptid" could see the smoke and come after us"
Kaine: "I think they would avoid light"
John: "you know if theses things fo exist that means their are multiple types like that weird goat creature which just attacks."
Kaine: "nerd."
John didn't get mad but gave up on the lamp idea and we set a fire and went to sleep. of course that was the weird part because in the middle of the night the loudest scream you could have ever heard which I think I could never forget.
also the 3rd guy (Charley) was just silent if you're wondering why he has no input in sentence because he was mute
(looking back on it now that was kind of a bad move to have a mute guy on the team but he was pretty strong)
I was the only one that jumped up seemingly Charley was never asleep in the first place and was sitting on a log assumingly keeping the fire alive he was looking around trying to see what the sound could have been and that moment is the first time I've ever seen him in fear he grabbed a gun from Charles truck and pointed it at what seemed like thin air.
of course since I said it seemed like thin air it actually was nothing. I grabbed a flashlight and pointed it at where he was aiming and seen it.
it was pale and had long red claws did not look human but it was looking at us and Charley turned the pistol off safety and fired.
it screeched but did not run and clearly since the gun was so loud Kaine and John got up deeply confused grabbed their flashlight and pointed it around it was bleeding.. everywhere but it didn't move.
John pulled a bigger gun from the floor board of his truck and also fired which it didn't move but it started inching closer.. and closer and that point John and charley were firing round after round after round into the creature we had stop Kaine from just jumping at it because he was pissed he woke up to this thing but he calmed down and rat blood almost all over the camp and did not react to anything at all we left immediately and gave up the idea of hunting these thing
you'll call this entire story fake and bull but being in this moment only then will you realize that maybe you're not as strong as you honestly think if a barrage of bullets couldn't stop such a thing.
Kaine, john , Charley and me got in the truck and rushed out of their (left the camp altogether because we did not wanna run into this thing but I can only imagine how badly it would have been if I went alone and not with a team so for god sakes make sure you have a strong set of people before you do this.
also if you think you know what type of creature this could have been please just say so I have never seen such a thing
the stranger is unrelated we really just think he went missing and we're being questioned about his disappearance till this day

Hey guys! Let us take a little break from the shitstorm that's Modern Horizons 3's leakage and have some fun. We all know and love the three-colored combinations. Whether we control the board while slamming huge artifacts in Esper or we attack for the win in Mardu, it's quite easy to see why it's awesome to play three colors. We know what they do mechanically. But what about their philosophy? What are those colors standing for? To make this really fun, let us associate this with a common trope or type of character. Let's start with the shards.

• Esper (WUB) - Esper is the mysterious antihero. Esper is the guy that comes into your salloon on Thunder Junction and you suddenly see all your patrons hiding in barrels or jumping through windows. You know his reputation. You know he could tear you and your salloon a new asshole if he wanted. But you also know he lives by a code. He has the power, he has the knowledge, and he's really messed up. But he tries, in his frustrating ways, to better the world. Media examples: Dexter Morgan, Stannis Baratheon, Magneto
  
• Grixis (UBR) - Oh boy... Grixis is a bully. But he's not your typical bully who used to give you wedgies in middle school while laughing with his idiotic jock friends. He doesn't do that shit... personally. For Grixis, is way more fun to make you believe he's your friend and then make you do stupid crap. He's charismatic. He's fun. He's wicked smart. He's a rulebreaker. He calls the teacher an asshole to his face. But following him and getting to know him, you realize he doesn't care about you. He's a narcissist. He only cares about himself. Grixis wants power and control. You are just his means to an end. Media examples: Greg Heffley (come on, you have to be a Multiverse-conquering Grixis psycho to hurt Rowley), Emperor Palpatine, Baron Vladimir Harkonnen
  
• Jund (BRG) - If Grixis is the manipulative villain, Jund is the minion who asks "why should we sneak around when we can kill them now?" That village sits right on that mana-rich deposit you want to tap in and they don't want to evacuate? Send Jund. He'll clean up the village. Jund is rage, passion, and hatred all in one crazy package. For Jund, might makes right and if you've no might, you'll get his right... in your face. But Jund's not totally brainless. Jund loves freedom and, as powerful minions often do, scoffs at being a minion. That green part of him keeps him grounded, preventing him from giving in to his darkest urges, like Rakdos might do. Media examples: Sarah Kerrigan (Infected), Tuco Salamanca, pretty much any monstrous beast that acts on instinct...
  
• Naya (RGW) - Naya is the rebel (with or) without a cause. For Naya, freedom is the most important thing, even more important than Jund. While Jund wants freedom for himself, Naya wants freedom for all. Naya is the guy who runs naked through a packed stadium with "Stop big oil" written on his asscheeks. Naya is the ecoterrorist. If your plane's leader turns into a dictator, Naya will be the first to rebel against them. While an individualist, he can fight together with others if that means achieving his purpose. Media examples: Wildlings from ASOIAF, pretty much any Brujah vampire from VTM that hasn't fallen to the Sabbat and so on...
  
• Bant (GWU) - You're in the schoolyard and two of your classmates are having at it. All your fellow students are yelling "fight! fight!" You're the one who yells "Stop! Why can't we all be friends? Teacher!" Congratulations! You're Bant. Bant is the idealistic nerd. He believes in the rule of law. Bant thinks the Multiverse will be improved tremendously if only everyone will drop their weapons and hold hands. But that doesn't necessarily means Bant's defenseless. He's charismatic and his nice and optimistic nature helps him gain a lot of friends. Bant might not harm you. His fresh-out-of-prison friend, pierced from head to cock, will certainly do. Media examples: Rowley Jefferson (take that, Grixis Heffley!), Neville Longbottom, the Tau from 40K.
  

Now... the wedges!

• Abzan (WBG) - It's Thanksgiving Day and your Aunt Selesnya comes to dinner. You know what's going to happen. She's going to talk your ear off about how society isn't what it used to be anymore, how healthy values are thrown into the garbage for new, shiny stuff that will end up ruining society, how people today are too individualistic and don't give a shit about community. Then she's got too many beers and falls asleep... but Uncle Abzan, on the other hand, doesn't fall asleep. He agrees with what Selesnya's saying but unlike her, he's got the power and the ambition to change society according to his views. Abzan is making a webpage. Abzan's gathering followers. Abzan appeals to those in society who think like him. Abzan's creating a cult. Abzan takes control. It will take years, as Abzan's conservativism will not want sudden change. He's not Izzet, for fuck's sake, right? It will take years. But he'll manage it. Media examples: Logan Roy, Nurgle
  
• Sultai (BGU) - Sultai looks at the world with disgust. To alleviate some of it, he starts eating a banana. But... it lacks something. A bit more... je ne sais quoi, a bit more... more! He'll know it when he'll feel it. But how to modify that banana to be what Sultai wants it to be? Well, he'll enslave a village, use the villagers' blood in an arcane experiment, and create the perfect banana. If Sultai believes something can be improved, he'll do it at any cost. The entire Multiverse is his banana and we are Sultai's villagers. Media examples: Apocalypse, Clan Tzimisce from VTM
  
• Temur (GUR) - Temur is the dashing wilderness explorer, going where no man (or elf... or dragon) has ever gone. He's curious, courageous, clever, and comely. So many C's, he makes Kozilek envious. Temur feels at home both in a lab and in a bear cave. He's not afraid of pushing boundaries but he's mostly well-meaning. Media examples: Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, Reed Richards.
  
• Jeskai (URW) - You're a young kid whose ass was kicked by some punks. You want to never have to experience something like this ever again. Thus, you want to train, both your body and your mind. Here comes Jeskai-san. He's wise. He's seen things. He's done things. He trains you. He's an asshole. He makes you wipe the floorboards. You see no sense in it. But when the time comes for you to wipe the board, who better than someone versed in Jeskai's ways to do so? Media examples: Miyagi-san, Hank McCoy
  
• Mardu (RWB) - Remember that Thanksgiving dinner? Well, here comes Uncle Mardu and boy, he makes Selesnya and Abzan seem like well-balanced folks. Mardu's a military man, like his father and his grandfather all the way to an obscure 19th century lieutenant that served in the Union Army and then retired to a farm in Rhode Island or something (but your Uncle Mardu knows everything about him). Mardu sees you and thrashes your parents for raising a "sissy". He tells you to eat more meat to gain muscles. The Army has no need of matchsticks. Mardu is a warrior through and through. His troops hate his fucking guts but they know he's efficient. He's not nice, though. Media examples: Pretty much most of the 40K Imperial Commissars, Madara Uchiha
  

Whoa! That's pretty long. What's your take on shard/wedges type of characters/philosophies? Do you have any other examples?

Trial Day 11
Katherine Jackson, Rebbie and Trent are at court.
Choreographer Travis Payne & Katherine Jackson spoke briefly in the courtroom before the jury came in. They seemed cordial
Travis Payne Testimony
AEG direct
Payne is wearing a black jacket with a gold emblem on the shoulders with the word "MJ" & a pair of wings
Payne said he was concerned about MJ missing rehearsals. He didn't know why he wasn't showing up, but MJ was also working on an album and a book
Payne said he did not think that Jackson had a problem abusing prescription medications. He acknowledged that Jackson missed rehearsals and he saw the singer shivering or appearing cold in some of his final rehearsals
He worked with Jackson beginning in the 1990's and testified that he never saw Jackson drink alcohol or take any medications. Michael also never discussed his medical treatments, Payne said
Payne told the jury he advised MJ he was looking thin.

"Michael said he was 'getting down to my fighting weight', which I took to mean that he was preparing for the performances", Payne testified. "I had no reason to doubt him"

Payne says he was satisfied with the response.
Payne said there was one day (6/19) when MJ was cold. He thought the frustration had him on edge. When Jackson needed to be layered in blankets and required a heater to be comfortable, Payne said, he believed Michael was merely fighting a cold.

"No one else was cold. He had flu-like symptoms"
"Sometimes he was tired and lethargic and had to be, not convinced, but supported throughout rehearsals," Payne recalled

Payne said that in April, May & June, MJ missed 5 rehearsals with the whole group. He said one time Ortega sent Michael home
Bina shows an email from Ortega to Gongaware on Jun 14:

"Were you aware that Michael's doctor didn't permit him to attend rehearsal yesterday? Without invading his privacy, it might be a good idea to talk to his doctor to make sure everything he requires is in place. Who is responsible for Michael getting proper nourishment/vitamins/therapy every day? Personally, I feel he should have a top Nutritionist and Physical Therapist working with him on a regular basis. The demand on this guy is mentally and physically extraordinary! The show requirements exhaust our 20 year olds. Please don't underestimate the need to stay on top of this"

Another part of the same email chain, from Gongaware:

"Frank and I have discussed it already and have requested a face-to-face meeting w/ the doctor... We want to remind him that it's AEG not Michael Jackson who's paying his salary We want him to understand what is expected of him. He has been dodging Frank so far

Payne said his understanding was that AEG was paying Dr. Murray's salary not Michael. The doctor was there to oversee many things, Payne said. Payne explained he didn't have much reason to question Dr. Murray since he thought that a doctor selected to work with Michael was top notch.
Bina asked Payne whether he ever met Conrad Murray. The choreographer says he met Murray twice. Payne says the first time he met Dr. Murray was at the Carolwood house.

"I was going up the steps, Dr. Murray going downstairs, Michael introduced us."

Payne was coming up from the basement to the middle floor. Studio was at the basement. Payne said he never went to the top floor of the house. He says the second time was at the Staples Center, after a rehearsal and Jackson was leaving for the day. Both meetings were brief.
When asked how Michael performed on June 23 & 24:

"He was having his process, I didn't expect him to be like he would in front of a crowd," Payne explained. "He was not at show standards ... I didn't expect him to be as he would be in front of a crowd."
Payne: "It ebbed and flowed. Some days were good, some days were not as good."

The last two days were good.

"I thought he was in his way to the goals he set himself," Payne told the jury.

He didn't have any question that MJ would be able to perform , adding that he and others were impressed while watching Jackson rehearse at Staples Center on June 23/24, 2009.
Payne described the day MJ died: He was headed to rehearsal at Michael's home, got a call from his mother who said she saw reports on the news. Payne heard news on the radio, called Staples Center spoke to Stacy Walker, she said they were rehearsing. He was told to go to Staples.

"We were optimistic of his arrival," Payne said explaining they were expecting Michael to rehearse at the Staples Center.

Payne said Ortega got a series of calls. He remembers Kenny saying:

'tell me something that will make me know it's you and that this is true'

​

" I remember him (Kenny Ortega) collapsing in his seat and crying," Payne testified

Payne said he never saw Michael drink alcohol or take medication but

"Sometimes, in rehearsal, Michael would appear just a little loopy, under the influence of something, but mostly when he would come to the rehearsals from the dermatologist," Payne testified.

That happened two to four times in the weeks before his death, he said. Payne told that he didn't think Jackson had a problem with prescription drugs

"Michael was undergoing personal cosmetic procedures, so he could feel great and do a good job," Payne said.

Payne also said he appeared groggy in the morning sometimes, which he attributed to lack of sleep

"Mr. Jackson just explained to me that he had trouble sleeping, that he was tired, and that satisfied me," Payne testified.

He stated that he's not sure how much weight MJ had lost
Payne mentioned one day in particular at a meeting with Andre Crouch and singers, MJ seemed a little out of it
Payne said at one point, he & others tried to bring in a top physical therapist who works with Olympic athletes to help Michael. Jackson didn't work w/physical therapist flown in for him.

"At the last minute we realized that Michael was not going to go through with it. He was just not comfortable with the invasion of personal space."

Bina played a clip of This Is It from Jun 4 showing the green screen and making of "Drill" and Michael talking about the cool moves, dancing. Payne said the idea was to show the rehearsals and how things came together. The footage itself wasn't altered, but there was editing. Payne said they picked the best of the rehearsal to include in the documentary. He wanted to reshoot some scenes but was not allowed. Payne, who was an associate producer on the This Is It documentary, said the footage of Jackson had not been retouched or altered.
Jackson cross
Attorney Brian Panish cross examined Payne. He asked if Michael ever performed the entire show from beginning to end. Payne said "No"

"Was he ready to perform for an audience?", Panish asked.
"I thought he was on his way to the goals he had set for himself," Payne answered. "All I saw was improvement and getting closer to the goals"

Payne's impression was that MJ loved being a father. He said he saw the beauty of their relationships, loyalty to one another.

"When we rehearsed, we had meals together," Payne recalled, talking about Michael and all three children.

Payne thought the relationship between MJ and Prince was awesome, Michael was a proud father, great to see how they interacted. Prince wanted to be a director, Michael would point out things to him during rehearsal should that be his career, Payne remembered.
As to Paris Jackson, Payne said he saw a very protective young lady, smart, astute, with knowledge of the production, very hands on. Paris, who was 11 at the time, was

"a very retentive young lady who was very, very smart, very astute," Payne testified. "She had full knowledge of the day-to-day operations, from the time of lunch and what it was going to be, she was hands on -- far beyond her age," he said. "She had a lot of responsibility, which I think she welcomed"

Payne said she was "the female of the house," and also "a daddy's girl."

"She really loved her father," he said. "At that time, she was coming to find out his global successes and presence, so she would wear her Michael Jackson t-shirt, headband and bag," he said.

It was Paris who would bless the food when they were have lunch with their father at home, he said.

"She was always the most vocal of the three children and was very concerned about many of the details of the house, was the temperature correct, what do you want to eat," Payne testified. "She just handled a lot for her young age"

Blanket, who was 7 when his father died, was the most quiet of the three. He liked to watch his father rehearsing his dances with Payne in the basement studio of their home, Payne said.

"He was quiet, but always right there with his dad," he said.

Michael guided and mentored him. Payne said he would be proud if MJ was his father and agreed the children suffered a tremendous loss. When rehearsing with Jackson at his Holmby Hills residence, Payne said the singer clearly delighted in being a father and shared meals with all three

"I saw the beauty of their relationships. I saw their loyalty to their father, I saw his loyalty to them. Their father enlightened them and taught them", he testified. "I was very proud to see Michael as such a loving father."
Panish: "Was Paris a Daddy's girl?"
Payne: "Yes, I believe so"

His description of the close relationship Paris (15) and Prince (16) had with their father four years ago could foreshadow the significance of the children's testimony later in the trial.
Payne always carries a video camera with him and shot videos of rehearsal. AEG took the footage that Payne shot and never returned to him. Email from Randy to Paul:

"Make sure you take out the shots of Michael in that red jacket... He looks way too thin and skeletal."

Payne said he was not aware of the email. He said Michael looked thin, but not skeletal. He doesn't know if Paul/Randy took any the footage out. The email was not displayed for the jury
As for Michael's relationship with Katherine, Payne said

"there's no secret that he loved his mother very much. It is kind of common knowledge"

​

"Karen Faye is a make up artist. She designed the make up, was always there when Michael was there", Payne testified.

Payne said Faye and MJ had a long term working relationship. They spent a lot of personal time together. Faye was concerned and frustrated with how Michael looked. She went to Payne kind of in an aggressive way. Payne told her to report to Ortega.
Payne said he wanted MJ to have a physical therapist, nutritionist, massage therapist, and have his family around. He said this was a different scenario.

"This was the first time MJ was working with AEG," Payne testified, saying he had always been hired by MJJ production before.

Payne said this was the first time Michael was not the sole producer of the show. Payne started working without a signed contract. He was being paid by AEG. Panish showed Payne's written contract. It is between Payne and AEG, beginning April 1, 2009. The contract said only AEG could cancel it. He testified that there was a delay in his contract with AEG because the salary was not in line with his standard charges, but that things worked out after he had a conversation with Jackson. Payne also said he believed AEG was paying Murray's salary, not Jackson
Payne was hired and paid by AEG. His contract was with AEG.

Panish: "Who could fire you. AEG?"
Payne: "I'm sure"

Things became heated when Panish inquired about a text message Karen Faye sent to Payne that accused him of lying to the media after Michael's death. He said earlier Faye had approached him in an "aggressive" way about her concern for Jackson's health but he told her to take her concerns to Ortega.

"I do not remember receiving a text message from Karen Faye asking why I was lying to the media," Payne explained.
Panish: "Were you upset when MJ died?"
Payne: "Yes"

During cross-examination, Payne was shown several photos of premieres for the This Is It documentary .Panish shows a picture of Payne at the red carpet premiere. He agreed he was happy about the premiere. In one, Ortega & AEG executive Randy Phillips flank Jackson's manager, Frank DiLeo, who has a cigar hanging out of his mouth. All three are grinning. Brian Panish, the attorney for Jackson's family, remarked that everyone looked pretty happy
Payne said he wasn't privy to details of what was expected of Dr. Murray. AEG was producepromoter, but MJ was the star, had to be happy
Panish reminded Payne that he had testified in his deposition that AEG was

"trying to protect its investment"

​

"I don't have a dog in this race so I'm not on either side", an aggravated Payne countered adding that he felt Panish was being aggressive. "I'm just saying I don't want to be painted as somebody who's trying to mask anything".

After several hours of testy exchanges with Panish, his voice quivered and he dabbed his eyes with a tissue.

"I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and tell the truth."

Panish asked Payne if defendants' attorney approached him during lunch to show him some documents. He said yes, he saw parts of his deposition
Under cross examination, Payne acknowledged that some of Jackson's behavior, including grogginess, lethargy, insomnia and occasional paranoia, were possible symptoms of prescription drug abuse. He also said that despite testifying earlier that he worked with Jackson one-on-one five days a week, he couldn't recall how many rehearsals the singer actually attended
Panish after lunch break got Travis Payne to concede Jackson wasn't present for a May 19, 2009 rehearsal. Payne also conceded that Jackson was a no-show for a June 22, 2009 rehearsal. Panish confronted Payne saying that yesterday he said he was with MJ at a dance studio on May 19, that they were up on their feet & danced.

Panish: "Sir, Michael was not with you May 19, 2009, was he?"
Payne: "No"
Panish: "He was at the doctor"
Payne: "If you're saying, I'm not disputing"

Panish said that on May 19, Michael was having a cyst removed at Dr. Klein's office, so he could not have been rehearsing with Payne.
Panish then said on Jun 22 MJ wasn't there either, "was he?"
Payne said he didn't know.
Panish said MJ was at another doctor's office
Payne said he may have made a mistake about Jackson's whereabouts & he didn't know his personal schedule. Travis Payne had testified yesterday that he and Jackson ran through certain songs on May 19th. He said today he was testifying based on the schedule and notes he compiled and that his recollection might be wrong

"We're human, sometimes we make mistakes," Payne explained, saying he's not disputing that Michael was or wasn't there on those dates.

Payne said there was always something for Michael to do.

"He needed to come to rehearsal, it was part of the job"

Payne said Michael had a hard time picking up some of the material. He was having trouble learning dances, Payne says. Email from Ortega to Gongaware:

"He has been slow at grabbing hold of the work"

Jackson was having trouble learning dances, choreographer Travis Payne says

"Prior to June, I noticed Mr. Jackson was thinner than I recognized him," Payne said, noting he never saw sudden weight change in MJ.

Second time Payne saw Dr. Murray was the night before Michael died at Staples Center.

"I wanted Michael to go home and go to sleep" Payne recalls. Payne said something about Murray felt off, Payne said. "He didn't feel like an official doctor"

Payne knew MJ had sleeping problems and that Dr. Murray was treating him for that. Ortega also knew; Payne thought Gongaware was aware too. Payne also said he and Ortega knew that Jackson was having sleep problems. Attorney Brian Panish asks if AEG executives knew. There were several objections, and Payne was only allowed to answer "No" as to whether Paul Gongaware knew about Michael's sleep problems
Panish asked Payne about choosing Jackson's dancers for This Is It. Payne says they were whittled down from 5,000 applicants. Applicants submitted video clips and their submissions were used to cull down potential dancers from there. Payne said they received 5,000 applications for dancers, about 2,500 showed up for the audition.He taught them some dance moves, and the pool was further narrowed down. Michael chose the dancers
Panish then asked Payne whether he knew how many doctors AEG interviewed to work with Jackson on This Is It. "No", Payne says. Payne also says he isn't aware how much interviewing or investigation into Murray that AEG did.(Panish's point appears to be that there was more scrutiny of backup dancers than Conrad Murray)
During preparations for This Is It, Michael at times seemed "under the influence of something" and once couldn't take the stage because he appeared incoherent, Payne testified.
Payne said he was aware that Jackson had problems sleeping and chalked up the singer's sometimes erratic behavior to sleep aids or sedatives from his dermatologist visits.

"You have to understand that one always says hindsight is 20/20. In the moment I had no inkling of what, ultimately, what was revealed until Mr. Jackson's passing", he said

Payne saw Michael tired and fatigued. He agreed that those symptoms could be signs of drug addiction. Payne was aware that MJ was losing weight during rehearsals and he had not seeing him lose weight like that before.

"He was not in great physical shape and was sore,working up his stamina. Lack of sleep and proper nourishment were starting to show", Payne said.

Payne says at one point, he told Kenny Ortega that Jackson appeared "assisted" (meaning that he thought he was on drugs\meds)
Payne said some people were concerned about the goals not being met, including Randy Phillips and Paul Gongaware. Payne learned what Demerol was after MJ died. He also remembers a mention of Demerol in the song "Morphine".
Panish asked if MJ knew the lyrics of his songs.

"I think he did, he knew most of them, but he wanted to have a Teleprompter for safety.He didn't want to make any mistakes, to refresh his memory. Also to use for sequence of songs",Payne said.

Payne agreed that it was very unusual for Michael to have a Teleprompter with the lyrics of his own songs. He never used it before. Payne didn't specify which songs Jackson wanted the teleprompter for
Payne said a body double was requested for Michael. Misha Gabriel was his body double, but shorter than him. Some of the scenes in the documentary are with the body double, Payne testified. Payne remembers at the Culver Studios in Smooth Criminal there was a stunt and Misha was asked to jump through a glass plate
Payne said most the time, MJ was present at rehearsals. "It wasn't a big deal," he expressed
Panish showed an email from the band leader Michael Bearden:

"Michael is not in shape enough yet to sing this stuff live and dance at the same time. He can use the ballads to sing live and get his stamina back up, Once he's healthy enough and has more strength I Have full confidence he can sing the majority of the show live. His voice sounds amazing right now, he needs to build it back up. I still need all big dance numbers to be in the system so we can concentrate on choreography."

Payne was aware that AEG was considering in mid June pulling the plug on the show. He said Michael looked exhausted & paranoid on Jun 19. Jackson's condition and missed rehearsals led to talk within the last 10 days of Jackson's life that AEG Live LLC, which was promoting "This Is It," might cancel the concert series.

"It was 'We've got to get this together or the plug may be pulled,'" Payne says

Payne was working for AEG and said he relayed his concerns about Jackson's possible prescription drug use and that he was exhibiting troubling signs of insomnia, weight loss and paranoia in his final days to tour director Kenny Ortega. Jackson was struggling to get into shape for the shows, and Payne said his voice coach suggested using a voice track for fast-paced songs until the singer's stamina improved.
Payne went to Michael's house on June 20. He was cold and had to light the fireplace and rub his hand and feet to warm himself up
Panish showed a picture of Michael on June 24 rehearsing "Thriller"; Payne said MJ improved but was not at his best yet.

Panish: "Around June 20, was Ortega in the mindset that Michael Jackson was not ready for this?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said Michael was not ready, it was not the Michael he knew. He died four days later. But he didn't see anything that alarmed him on June 23/24

Panish:" Did you see that Michael was getting pressured to get everything done in the last days?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said he could sense something was wrong, but didn't know what it was. He said Jackson's performances in the final days of his life were impressive, and it felt

"like we were definitely on an upswing"

​

"I never doubted Michael because he was the architect of this and he wanted to do it, so part of my responsibility was to help him get there", Payne said, his voice racked with emotion.

Panish ended his direct examination of choreographer Travis Payne with three questions.

Panish: "Did you see that Michael Jackson appeared to be pressured to get everything done at the Staples last rehearsals?"
"Yes," Payne said
Panish: "The pressure about the shows started to manifest itself physically in Michael Jackson?"
"Yes," Payne replied.
Panish:" You could sense that something was wrong, you just didn't know what it was?"
Payne responded "Yes."

AEG re-direct
Payne's demeanor changed after Panish finished questioning him. He was holding back tears when the AEG attorney started re-direct examination. For the next several moments, Payne blinked and dabbed both eyes with a tissue. It was the first time he'd gotten emotional on the stand.

Bina in re-direct asked: "Do you think you could get him there?"
Payne: "Absolutely!"

Bina asked Payne again about how many rehearsals Jackson attended. Payne said MJ was present a significant amount of the days he was scheduled to work but he couldn't recall dates, precisely how many that Jackson attended.
As to Gongaware's email regarding what was expected of Dr. Murray, Payne said the inconsistencies with Michael missing rehearsals warrant a talk. Payne said he thought Dr. Murray was there to care for his patient, making sure right nutritionist was there, to get him ready for the show. Payne never discussed with MJ about his doctors or personal affairs. Payne and Faye were professionals with each other, but not friends.

"Production felt he wasn't coming to rehearsals enough, and that was frustrating to some of the staff," Payne testified. "I had a concern we needed to create a show Michael would enjoy doing it," Payne explained

She also showed Payne photos from the This Is It premiere. First photo is of Payne shaking Jermaine Jackson's hand at the movie premiere. Bina also showed another image of smiling Jermaine, Tito, Jackie and Marlon with Payne at the premiere. Payne cried saying he had been through so much and the rough part was behind them. He was pleased to show the fans what the show was to be.
Jackson re-cross
In re-cross, Panish notes that none of Michael's brothers are part of this lawsuit.
Panish then asked Payne whether Katherine Jackson and Michael's kids went to the premiere. Panish says Katherine Jackson & her grandchildren didn't go to the premiere because they weren't over Jackson's death. Payne said he didn't think anyone was over Jackson's death when the film premiered in late 2009.
Court Transcript

First
Previous
Sorry for the delay in getting this part out; been away visiting family so not had much time to put fingers to keyboard, plus I managed to have my phone eaten by a roller coaster and it took a while to get it replaced and be able to get into a few things - stupid two factor authentication! Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
+++++++++++++++++++
Y’Lek and K’Rim slowed their mad dash as they neared the armoury; there was no telling whether the Swarm agents had left any traps for them and the armoury was full of extremely energy dense materials and weapons which could potentially jeopardise the structure of the ship if employed in the right way. Grabbing some handy footholds they stopped and considered the imposing door in front of them.
After a few moments of effort K’Rim had eased off the casement off the door’s locking mechanism but could detect nothing amiss with the crystalline structure beneath. Bypassing the outer interface she placed a grasper to the innards and a small spark of bioelectric energy jumped into the crystal which glowed briefly as the uniquely patterned waveform was parsed and compared with the patterns of those permitted access. The door slid aside as they were granted entry with no unwanted surprises being triggered.
With a relieved chitter Y’Lek started inside only to be pulled back sharply as K’Rim pulled on his leg.
“Stop. Just because the door opens, doesn’t mean that it is safe.” K’Rim warned as she pulled a small disc out of one of her utility pouches. Snapping it easily she gently tossed it through the doorway after slowly counting out a grasper of seconds. The exothermic reaction had reached the point where the disc glowed fitfully in the infrared, while it emitted a clear UV light. K’Rim watched it carefully and her antennae twitched with the effort of picking up any slight sound.
The glow-disc struck some of the lockers which filled the armoury and ricocheted off around the room but nothing seemed to react to the heat and movement.
With a decisive clack of her mandibles K’Rim pulled herself through the doorway and into the armoury. Y’Lek followed close on her tarsus. It was immediately obvious that several sets of warrior equipment had been removed, along with copious numbers of weapons.
Y’Lek was surprised when K’Rim didn’t make for the remaining warrior gear but instead to the emergency pressure suits. Seeing the confused tilt of his head K’Rim explained “Although the room appears safe, we don’t know what they may have done while they were here but it is safe to assume that they would have ensured any of the most dangerous equipment could not be used against them.”
She passed a bundled pressure suit to Y’Lek and continued “The emergency gear and non-powered weapons are the least likely to have been tampered with and have the least amount of capacity for harming us even if they have been so we will have to make do with them until we can thoroughly check the rest of the equipment.”
Y’Lek thought for a moment before bobbing in agreement and starting to pull on the pressure suit, careful to sheath his claws with the hardened “gauntlets” integral to the suit before powering up the spiracle gas exchangers and carefully sealing them in place against his thorax. “Yes, I can see the risk now. Though it will potentially leave us vulnerable, it is better to be certain of our equipment than to die of over confidence.”
The emergency pressure suit came together quickly, living up to its name and the pair were quickly sealed against the cold, dry, and slightly strange tasting air that the aliens had been pumping into the Far Flung Seed and supplying them with a more familiar and moister mixture.
K’Rim passed him a set of the ceremonial but still functional weapons and the harness to hold them. They wouldn’t hold up long against a fusion blade or a particle lance but they were durable enough to give them a chance and were completely inert so could not have been sabotaged.
Only a couple of minutes after entering the armoury they swam back out into the corridor and sped off towards the arboretum.
+++++++++++++++++++
Smithy quickly sprayed a fluorescent marking on the uneven and root covered tunnel junction to identify which way they had come from. “How can such a small ship have so many damn tunnels?” he growled to himself.
“It’s not the size of the ship, it’s what you do with it that matters” quipped Hall.
“Yeah? Well, apparently in this case it was fill it with bloody tunnels.” deadpanned Smithy in response.
“Can it.” broke in Stroud before anyone else could get involved “You can discuss the relative merits of alien design philosophy on your own time; for now you need to focus.”
A chorus of “Sergeant” came back over the radio and the remainder of Delta and Echo buckled down and continued sweeping what even Stroud was prepared to admit was a seemingly endless series of tunnels with apparently zero overarching logic to their layout. Up until a few minutes ago they had been getting directional updates from some supposedly friendly ET’s in the control room but apparently they had suddenly just buggered off so now they were picking junctions that appeared to take them in the vague direction that had been indicated to them.
Stroud again cursed the fact that the maintenance drones brought by the initial engineering team hadn't been able to access this part of the ship and map it due to the tightly sealed blast doors that had protected the forest from the vacuum. Who could have imagined that there would have been so much structure hidden underneath and between the normal corridors and rooms? The three dimensional map they had been creating as they advanced was like something Jackson Pollock and H R Giger might have come up with on an acid trip.
They approached another intersection and slowed. After a quick glance between them, Mears and Jackson moved forward, taking cover behind Mears’ shield. They crept up to the junction and Jackson poked the muzzle of his shotgun, and its camera into the ragged space beyond. The feed showed several small tunnels radiating off at all angles, way too small for any of them to fit down. One navigable tunnel appeared to curve off back in the direction they came from, while another looked like it might go the right way.
Suddenly the camera and the end third of Jackson’s gun disintegrated into a cloud of superheated vapour, shards of glowing metal and smoking composites. With a scream Jackson jumped back, the outer weave on the gauntlet of his left hand shredded and smouldering. In a stunning display of muscle memory he ejected the internal magazine and disconnected the weapon from the backpack feed almost before his mind had caught up with what was going on.
Hands grabbed him as he was yanked further back into the corridor. He flung the remains of his shotgun down and it clattered and bounced down the tunnel in the vague direction of the junction. Jackson was conscious of Mears backing up towards him, shield held protectively to block as much of the tunnel as possible, while Smithy grabbed his forearm and inspected his hand. Stroud stepped over him and took up guard on Mears’ shoulder, weapon trained forward and sweeping what could be seen of the slightly larger space beyond this section of the tunnel.
Another “FOOOM!” as the tumbling wreckage of the shotgun was vaporised as it spun across the opening of the tunnel.
“Fuuuuuuuck me!” said Jackson, at last able to form words as the adrenaline induced tunnel vision started to clear.
“Well, how about you start by showing me whether you can still use your fingers and we can take it from there, eh?” Smithy said from where he was turning his hand from prone to supine again. “Looks like the inner layer of your glove is intact but both Simmonds and Jones complained of numbness after being hit. How’re you feeling?”
Jackson gingerly flexed his fingers and made a fist a few times but grunted as he felt the tips of his fingers tingle where they pressed into the material of his gloves “Feels weird - tingly like I sat on my hand or something.”
Smithy grunted to acknowledge this “OK, well shout out if it gets any worse; got it?”
He pulled Jackson to his feet and slapped him on the shoulder before they both turned back to face down the tunnel again. Jackson surreptitiously flexed his hand a few more times as he pulled out his sidearm and secured its retaining strap to his right wrist. He wasn’t too hopeful that the small pistol would be able to do too much against the ET’s, but it was better than walking around with nothing.
Stroud backed away from the junction where he had been very gingerly checking all the passageways with a camera barely poking out from the mouth of the tunnel they were in.
He stood up and turned to the security team “Ok, looks like there is something stuffed into one of the narrow tunnels - kind of like those shoulder guns the ET’s have, along with a stand and power supply. My guess is it has some kind of automated fire mode and decided that it really didn’t like Jackson’s gun waving around in front of it. Question is, how are we going to get rid of it? We can’t leave it behind in case we need to come back this way in a hurry.”
“I guess it will probably shoot anything we throw at it so grenades are out?” mused Mears
There followed a number of suggestions and comments.
“Can we get an angle on it and just shoot it?”
“How about we let Jackson distract it some more while the rest of us blow it away?”
“We need to avoid the power pack if the two dead ET’s from the corridor are anything to go by.”
Stroud listened for a minute before cutting the chatter short. “Ok, so I think our best bet is to use the ballistic shield to bait it, while someone else blows the top off it from the other side of the tunnel; Mears you and Jackson handle the shield; keep a tight hold on it as those shots release a lot of energy when they hit. Smithy - I’ve marked its location so you hug the other side of the tunnel and draw a bead on it. Wait for it to hit the shield before popping out and taking your shot; and for the love of all that you hold dear do it fast, Ok?”
The team nodded in agreement.
“I will be there to pull Smithy back as soon as he has popped out of cover, just in case.” concluded Stroud before ushering them to their positions. After a few moments of shuffling around each other in the tight space they were ready.
Smithy led the countdown. “Ready. Steady. Go!” Instantly Mears and Jackson shoved a third of the ballistic shield out into the corridor and planted themselves on top of the section remaining in the corridor only a moment ahead of a bright flash and the shield heaving under the impact.
Seemingly almost simultaneously Smithy leaned out and fired, the boom of his shotgun mingling with the “foom!” of the vaporising surface of the shield. Stroud almost bodily lifted him as he pulled him back from the edge.
For a second they were still as they sprawled around the opening.
“A good hit!” called Stroud as he reviewed the few frames of footage from Smithy’s gun camera between jumping out and back in again.
Mears stood up and inspected the sorry remains of his ballistic shield, now missing most of the top edge. “Great, well I hope there aren’t too many more of those hidden around as I’m running out of shield.”
+++++++++++++++++++
N’Dar’s antennae quivered inside his protective suit. That last series of weapons fire had been far too close for comfort and he still had two more locking systems to bypass. With a furious click of his mandibles he redoubled his efforts, running his bioelectric patterns through a series of filters, amplifiers and other signal processing systems to trick the door into thinking he had a right to open it.
The rot take the claw that had been delaying the aliens! He was supposed to have more time than this!
Next

Just a personal list of my most memorable Moyes’ games since his reappointment in 2019. Telling that the majority of league matches come from the 2020-21 period, suggesting it’s probably the right time to change. Thanks David, you put the pride back into being a Hammers fan.
Hope others share their favourite games.
Premier League- 4th Oct 2020- Leicester 0- West Ham 3 First signs that Moyes’ counter attacking style could be effective and exciting as we shock a high-riding Leicester team. Antonio, Fornals and Bowen all on the scoresheet.
Premier League- 18th Oct 2020- Tottenham 3- West Ham 3 Optimism from the previous games start to fade as we flatline early to a three-goal deficit, are we back to the same old West Ham? An amazing turnaround capped by Lanzini’s wondrous injury-time equaliser shows Moyes’ has instilled a grit and perseverance we have been missing.
Premier League- 5th April 2021- Wolves 2- West Ham 3 Barnstorming first-half as we brutalise Wolves on the break and race into a three-goal lead. Moyes’ favoured style now supercharged with Lingard on board. The heady heights of 4th in the table, daring to dream of the Champions League.
Premier League- 23rd May 2021- West Ham 3- Southampton 0 Late-season defeats to Newcastle, Chelsea and Everton have killed the Champions League dream but joy abounds on the final day of the season as we clinch 6th and a Europa League spot. Pablito scores two quick first half-goals and a late Declan Rice solo effort seals the deal. Fans allowed back in the stadium after a season of playing in eerie emptiness; strangely we thrived!
Premier League- 7th November 2021- West Ham 3- Liverpool 2 This was Moyes’ peak in the league as our physical strength on set-pieces and lightning- fast breaks overcame a disgruntled Liverpool. We reach the heady heights of 3rd yet strangely it seemed to go downhill league-wise from here.
Europa League- 17th March 2022- West Ham 2 Sevilla 0 (AET) Moyes greatest result? Still feels a surreal night, a weird fever dream as we comfortably upset a Sevilla side who had made this competition their own. The atmosphere at the bowl is fervent, Soucek heads us level in the tie and Yarmolenko adds the scriptwriter's ending, scoring the winner and leaves the pitch with the Ukrainian flag. Russia had declared war on his country three weeks earlier. Lopetegui leaves defeated but with unfinished business in Stratford.
Europa League- 15th April 2022- Lyon 0 West Ham 3 Going into second-leg as underdogs , the Hammers produce a classic away performance to shock an overconfident French side and march into the semi-finals. Ballon D’Awson, Rice and Bowen with the goals and the high point in Moyes’ relationship with the fans as he is serenaded off the pitch.
Premier League- 16th April 2023- West Ham 2- Arsenal 2 Flickering signs of mongrel in the dying dog as the Hammers take offence to a showboating Gunners side two-up and high on hubris. Rice leads the press and Arsenal crumble under the pressure leaving their title challenge in tatters. The home fans ask why it took 30 games into the campaign to show this passion. Moyes' side have been too passive and meek all season.
Europa Conference League Final- 7th June 2023- Fiorentina 1 West Ham 2 Moyes and Bowen entrench themselves in Hammers folklore as a last-gasp winner seals our first trophy in 43 years. In truth, the match was emblematic of late-Moyes style as we grind our way unprettily through the game but who cares when the result is this joyous. Moyes gets a deserved first trophy of a long managerial career and in keeping with his old-school values hangs the medal round the neck of his elderly father.
Europa League - April 19th, 2024- West Ham 1 Bayer Leverkusen 1 The rage against the dying of the light as a first half of shock and awe rattles the all-conquering Leverkusen. Moyes’ side, desperate to stay in the competition, go for the jugular from the off and show the high-energy, front-foot style fans have been crying out for. We know the dream is dead when the half-time whistle goes, and we are only one -up. Predictably, the players can hardly run in the second half, lack of squad depth and indiscipline from key players have left us snookered. Fully expect to see the referee exposed as being ‘on the take’ in the next few years. That first half though, what might have been Davie?

Hi! I am writing this because i hope that someone can relate or can understand this situation without jumping to the obvious answer to my question, which is: how can i deal with that? is that possible?
For context, and this should be long im sorry, my bf (M24y) and i (F21y) have been dating for almost 2 years and he is the most understanding, loving person i ve ever met, and he is my best friend. For record, he saved my life when i tried to k*** myself (before all this)nand ALWAYS has been there for me. But he has a hard life too, his mother is a narcissist, so his home environment sometimes is terrible, i saw with my eyes his mother beating him up because of the most superficial reason. And these things leaded to him having an addiction that i didnt know about. When we made 1 year of relationship, i found out going through his phone (ig i had a feeling, i never do that) multiples chats on instagram with random females, sexual conversations. I confronted him and, yes, i wanted to break up. But when he said he was an addict, i believed because weeks before, he had this weird conversation with me about him wanting to stop masturbating because sometimes he has no control and that it didnt want to hut me. He of course, was very apologetic, cried, said he would never do that if he was on his right mind (i believed him because he swore on his little brother's life, who is the most important person to him in life). He said he would never do that again, i know that an addiction envolves relapses, so i always knew it would happen again, but wanted to trust his word. 6 months passed by, i frenquently had mental breakdowns and he was always on my side, answering my questions. I did want to understand what he was feeling, he never went violent of justified himself, he knows what he did was wrong. But yes, after 6 months, he relapsed, one time, i found out because the girl messaged me (btw asking for money to not share the convo), i called him and this time was a even more intense discussion. He said that since he was younger, he does that time to time, he doesn't control it and that during the convo, its like he's empty, without feeling or thinking anything. I only agreed to stay one more time because, aside of this, he was always on my side, its my turn and, of course, i love him deeply. He seeked therapy and psychiatry. He has TDAH too, which doesnt help with the control of impulses. He's in treatment right know and he's feeling better. Despite this being what it is, i felt hurt of course, but i did't lost trust. We can a deep connection and i have 100% sure he told me the truth. Now, i know that its a very complicated situation since i have to deal with this and it can always happen. I think that what hurt me the most was not the action, it was the lying, weel, thats what addiction does. But yeah, i think about it most of the time, not because im afraid that it happen again, but because it happened in the first place, and even though he did not do that "consciously", obviously it hurts. This is the only flaw he has. I know its a BIG one, but it doesn't erase all the good things he his and how he is to me. I never felt so loved. Ive read so many perspectives from other people about their partners. Mostly of them, they are possessive or abusive, does not accept their problem, etc... which is not the case,
Sorry for my english, and please, what do i do?

I know it was your first relationship. At 28, you had already been through so much, having been on your own for 13 years. You were forced to grow up too fast, and had to prioritize yourself, building a life from nothing. I get it. It was your fierce independence that made me fall for you in the first place.
I always knew that trying to build a life with you was going to be a struggle. I thought it would be worth it, for both of us. You deserve to have someone in your corner, that always has your back. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t know if you believed the same.
I think I gave up too much of myself for you. Was that my mistake or yours? Did you really ask for too much, or did I give too freely without expectation for anything in return? Maybe both. Probably more on me. I’m not perfect by a long shot.
Compromise. It really does all come down to that. I tried to show you its importance, but in the process I ended up being the only one willing to do it. Me getting to pick what movie we watched or getting to plan a date became something I only got to do on special occasions. You said you felt like you didn’t know me, but so many times in so many ways I offered up little pieces of me to you. I share myself by sharing the things I love with the people I love. But more and more towards the end, all you’d say was “no”. Ignoring any context. Ignoring those pieces of me.
I know you don’t like movies about kids. I know asking to watch Home Alone during Christmas was a big ask. But it was a tradition that I shared with my dad, who I lost just over a year before. I know you think that traditions are pointless, but it was important to me. My earliest memories are of that. I needed to continue on, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone. I needed you there, your support. It was such a small gesture I was asking of you, but all I got was “no”. Instead we watched a movie you picked: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. A movie made by the exact same people that made Home Alone, and with even more kids.
We wanted to go to Ireland. Personally I’ve been wanting to go for years, but couldn’t because of my dad’s illness along with everything else going on. You knew that in the last 3 years I lost all of my grandparents, two uncles, my dad. I couldn’t risk going so far away for so long while everyone was sick. My mom saw me giving up the latter half of my 20s for my family, when she was hoping I would be enjoying life and seeing the world. That’s why she was happy to give us the money to have the trip of our dreams. I explained all of this to you while you were struggling to find a way to save for the trip. All my mom wanted in return was a single nice photo of us. That wasn’t even a requirement for the money. She just wanted to see me with the person that I love making our dreams come true. I know you hate having your picture taken. The only attention your dad ever gave you was when he wanted to test a new camera. It’s a trauma trigger. But I was only asking for one picture. You’d compromise for your friends, you’d compromise for your sister. You’d take pictures with them. Why wouldn’t you compromise for your partner, and the other most important person in your partners life? After a year, we have 3 pictures together, none of which are very good. I know that I was asking for a lot, but I felt so less important than everyone else in your life. Maybe you felt that as your partner, I was to be held to a higher standard? I honestly don’t know. All you said was “no”.
You admitted yourself I was so supportive. I always prioritized you. From always making your tea before mine, to giving you the better looking plate at dinner, to planting all of your favorite flowers in my garden. I always complemented you, how smart you are, how beautiful you are, how driven and independent you are. Your friend needed a ride to a 5k and someone to cheer them on? I was there. You needed someone to drive you around while your car was in the shop for 2 months? No problem. Accidentally overdrew your account again, and you couldn’t afford the late fees? Here’s $50. Need to move on short notice? I’m the guy tearing apart and moving your furniture. You have a migraine so bad you can’t eat? I’m bringing you pedialyte and sleeping on your couch, even though I didn’t actually get any sleep. I learned all your rituals so not to trigger your OCD. There are countless other examples. I never said no. I never complained. You rarely said so much as “thank you”.
The big one. The thing that ended us. You’re right, we did sit down like adults time and time again and talked things out. You said you needed me to anticipate your needs. You’d get overwhelmed, and couldn’t articulate what you needed from me. You couldn’t stand being asked what you needed. You just needed me to start helping. “Mental loads” and all that. I took that to heart. But I’m not perfect. Sometimes I’d miss the mark. Tried to support you, but in the wrong way. Even in my failures I showed effort, but you never seemed to see that. You only focused on how I failed.
We recognized that this was a problem caused by both of us. The communication wasn’t getting through. But I had already adapted to your communication style as much as I could. My exited, rambling, almost impulsive way of generating ideas became slow, methodical, thoughtful. I put intention behind everything so not to overwhelm you. I learned not to jump at the obvious solution.
Yes, we sat down like adults and talked things over time and time again. You told me what you needed from me, but I also told you what I needed from you. If I was missing the mark, please just guide me to what you needed. I’m not a mind reader. I did it for you all the time. You were honestly awful at anticipating my needs too. If I was venting, had a bad day, all you’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. So I had to show you how I needed support. I just needed you to do the same for me. “No”. Again.
One final time, I sent you words of support when you were having a bad day. It wasn’t enough, you wanted more. A phone call? For me to come over so you could vent in person? Did you actually want me to directly help for once? I don’t know. You never told me. Instead of guiding me to what you needed, you immediately shut down. Full silent treatment. I’ve been in abusive relationships where the silent treatment was welded as a weapon. I know you didn’t mean it in an abusive way, you were just overwhelmed again. But I never expected it from you. I didn’t see it for what it was. I only ever asked one thing from you to save us. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I wasn’t even asking you to put in effort on my behalf, it was for your benefit. I begged you time and time again for help. To communicate. Not to put it all on me, because I couldn’t do it on my own. But instead, you did the opposite.
You said that you felt like you were putting more effort into the relationship than I was. I’m sorry, but I can’t see that effort. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t. Maybe you mean you put effort into forgiving me every time I messed up? Maybe you mean that you were always planning dates, always picking what we watched, where we went, what we ate, what we drank? Again, mental loads and such. But I had things that I wanted to do and share with you that you always turned down. You only had to plan everything after my plans were rejected. It would have been more efficient for you to show love, patience, and compromise.
And then you left.