Cute thing made with symbols

Hello.
I (33f)have the CPTSD Ive known about it since a 2012 and have struggled since then to get treatment other than ssris. I recently had a mental health flare up and have finally found a therapist that I like. I lot of this have been coming up in therapy where my therapist thinks I should be kinder to myself or stand up for myself. I’m not sure because I’ve been trying to do so but it’s not seeming to work.
My husband works for himself/ works from home/ teaching himself to run a business for the past year. We live in hcol I work full time and pay for our health benefits, (he has an office in the apartment and we still split rent 50/50 (when he has the money to) and pay for all household goods and groceries (unless he is working and he will pay for half) I do most of the large purchases, car, insurance vacations, electricity and water and cell phones and he has the internet. He had liked to live month to month while trying to work as little as possible. I enjoy being with him when he has time for his own pursuits and he doesn’t like 9-5 life so I’m very happy with him not working as much as I do.
The thing is, is that he has been telling me that I don’t do enough, or that he doesn’t ask anything of me, or that I don’t spend enough quality time with him. He doesn’t like that I spend time after work reading or listening to audio books, scrolling Reddit or watching Tv. He says that he wants to see me being productive. He talks about how I need to have more productive hobbies. Like instead of reading, writing, or if I’m reading, blogging or reviewing it. He wants me to go on walks. He says I’d be less depressed if I did more things. He calls the time I spend in the evening mindlessly scrolling and said today that all the time I spend on my phone I could be spending with him. My screen time average is 2.5 hours/day. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m just wasting my whole life away, it makes me think that he thinks very low of me.
This past year he wanted to start having dinner together at the dinning room table every night. (Like we are “supposed to” It’s been hard for me to rally for them. We would fight because I have a hard time eating without relaxing first and I would be so keyd up after a long shift he would get upset that I wasn’t appreciative. It took a lot of conversation to get him to understand that I need that wind down time before I can face dinner and conversation and real life again. I hurt my back and was unable to sit at the table so he has been understanding about sitting at the couch. After dinner and watching a show together he gets upset if I get on my phone when he goes in his office to work. He wants me to spend the time more productively. On my phone I read and listen to audiobooks. I read 5-6 books a month usually. Sometimes more if they are short stories. Idk how to explain to him that I like reading and it helps me relax. I suggested we read the 5 love languages book and he bought it which made me so happy, after he read it he said he excelled in all the love languages and that it was me who didn’t know how to speak his love language. What am I supposed to say to that?
He does most of the daily household chores ie dishes and laundry. I’ve told him in the past that if he paid for part of the electricity and the health insurance I could afford to get a cleaner. When I was in school and working part time I kept a better house but it’s a lot harder now because my job is stressful and mentally exhausting. I thought the cleaner would solve the issue. He doesn’t think we need one but gets upset that I can’t keep up with half of the duties. Dispite the fact he is home 24/7 and I’m only home in the evenings. Sometimes I work up to 14 hour days. Also, some days I need to be in bed. I give a lot to my job and I thought to was worth it to keep our lifestyle going weather he is actively working or not but now I’m hearing that the only thing I contribute is money and that it doesn’t count because he is going to pay me back.
It’s still hard for me though because I always have to make sure I have the money because I never know if he will be able to contribute or not. I don’t really want to work a bunch either. I am also just a work enough to survive kinda person.
The biggest issue I have is that I don’t think he respects me. Because how could you have such a low opinion of someone you respect? Why does he keep saying that I don’t do anything or that he doesn’t ask anything of me. How can he love someone who doesn’t do anything? He says that he is just trying to better me but I’m okay with myself. I’m not perfect but I’m not bad.
It’s true, I’m depressed and love to get cozy in the couch for hours at a time while listening to an audiobook and scrolling Reddit . I do clean on weekends that I don’t also work. I do the dishes twice a week and vacuum and clean the toilet every weekend. I do the litter box every other month. (It’s the crystal that get changed monthly) I buy the cat food and we split feeding them unless I’m working. I don’t do the dishes daily though(I get depressed with the endless daily tasks) I offered to buy a dishwasher because I had no problem doing that daily but he didn’t want me to spend money on it. I prefer to do larger weekly tasks because it’s hard for me to have the energy daily. I don’t like to cook after work so I’ll order us dinner or pick groceries that are quick meals. This is not what he considers healthy though and prefers to cook us healthy meals.
To me this relationship is me finding compromises and him finding reasons why I’m not doing things right. I am trying my best but I just feel like it’s never enough.
Am I crazy for being hurt by his attitude towards me despite him saying it’s to better me? Is my depression and laziness after work making me a bad partner or is my partner not being understanding of my needs?

Xpost from relationship_advice, looking for opinions.
we've been together just over 10 months. Over that time some odd things have happened which made me question my trust in her and I like her but have been slightly wary of her since. I've been staying with her at her apartment for the past couple months or so and lately nothing too weird has happened and she seemed to be much better overall. But she recently asked if I wanted to move in and I just felt like I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment at this point as I was still trying to regain her trust and wasn't fully over some of the stuff that happened, and so I ended things. She is completely heartbroken, says she's in love with me and wants me in her life. And I question whether I made the right choice and whether I overreacted to some of the stuff the has happened.
I wanted to write out all the situations but the post got way too long too quick. But one of the bigger incidents was once (before I was staying there consistently) we were texting throughout the day and then suddenly she stopped replying, And I didn't hear from her for the rest of the day. I tried again the next morning and then finally she replied that afternoon but it was a very short response that's very unlike her. Then that night she texted saying a guy had gotten stabbed outside of her apartment while trying to help her with something. So she brought him up to her apt and tended to his wounds and had him stay the night there (she says he stayed out on the couch). I didn't know what was going on and was a little bit angry as well and then she called me. She acted like it was no big deal but she could tell in my voice I was not in a good mood (I was trying to figure out what was happening) and she said I was being rude and hung up on me, and also said the guy had left.
She called again moments later (or I did I can't remember) and there was some guy talking in the background who I thought was one of her roommates but she said it was the guy. I said "I thought he left," she said "he came back." I didn't know what to say and then she's like "ooooh you got real quiet" in a mocking type way. The guy is super drunk and she's pretty drunk too I think. They were both being a little disrespectful to me and he mentioned how they played cards together the night before (something that was a thing her and I had started doing together recently which I really enjoyed) and they mentioned they were going to play a game this night too. He was telling jokes and in one of them mentioned the town and street I live on which was really weird. Also mentioned at one point that his son or sons came over as well (I think to check on him but also it sounded like they hung out for a bit too).
It seemed like he was going to stay the night again. I didn't know what to do but my instincts were going wild and while it was late and I had to go to work early and it's like a 35 min drive to where she lives, I said I was coming. We also facetimed and the dude was chilling laying back on her bed. I stayed on the phone the whole way there. Once I said I was coming she got a little quiet and the guy started acting nervous and at one point said "you didn't mention you had a boyfriend" (she says she did mention it) and "at least we didn't have sex". He kept saying he's got to go but she said stay and meet my boyfriend. I get there and they're in her room with beer cans and tobacco everywhere and then he leaves. She said to him "you can stay but we are taking the bed," (she may have said "room" but I'm pretty sure she said bed) which shouldn't that go unmentioned?? Once he was gone she's like "are you breaking up with me?" I wanted to in that moment but I pictured her just calling up that guy and having him come back if I did right then plus I was still in shock as to what just happened so said "no."
We talked a little about it in the following days and she knew I was not happy with what happened but we didn't have any huge in-depth discussion about it. Since that day she makes random comments here and there like "you're the only guy I want in my room," or "you're the only guy who would be anywhere near my bed" little comments like that in conversation.
There was a point where she was trying to get off of a certain medication, without a doctors help and was struggling with it big time and acting extra crazy due to it and I can't remember if this was during that time or not, but either way it's a bit messed up right? And even though she's been way better lately, I can't help but still be disgusted by this.
There are a few more incidents in the past I'd like to share but this one's probably the worst. And it's too bad because she seems to have changed for the better lately now that she's getting proper medication and whatnot from a doctor but not enough time has passed to where I have regained my trust on her and not think of incidents like this.
TLDR: My girlfriend wanted me to move in and despite feeling a strong connection at times, I ended things because of past incidents which I haven't fully regained trust in her yet from.

I havent gotten to play yet but I am still so happy this game is a thing. I was an OG overwatch player and I enjyed the game a lot and seeing the fall of the game was sad. I preordered the game and spent years playing but left due to many reasons.
I have been a a massive fan of super heroes since I was a little baby. I had superman shirts with the velcro cape, the silly string webshooter, and a bunch of other toys that were super hero related. I am pretty sure I have autism and superheroes are my specials interests. I could literally think about them all day and not get bored. I was so hyped when this game was announced, and while not getting in made me sad, I am so happy to see so many people enjoy and love this thing that is a mix between 2 of my favorite things but better. While there are people who are super salty about character balence or how the keys and stuff were handled (cant say objectively cause I am coping) but this game seems so great and I am so happy to see people get so excited about superhero stuff they find out about through the game. idk where it is but I saw a post about someone who just found out that magneato is scarlet witches dad and I thought that was more common knowledge. this genuinely makes me so happy to see others get excited about superheroes as much as me.
tldr: I like super heroes and I like that others are liking superheroes

Can we stop telling people we'll be ready or there or it will be ready in five minutes? Today I've waited an additional 45 from people telling me something or they will be ready in five minutes.
Just be honest. I have shit to do. I put those things off because I'm expecting to do something else in five minutes. If I knew the actual amount of time I could have made better use of the wait and been less annoyed with waiting.

So mass shooter James Holmes went to a program here a friend of mine went to while he was being majorly gang stalked. The program made everyone wear all white. Scrub things with tooth brushes and shot them full of drugs. I’m seriously starting to wonder how many other masks shooting are linked to this terrorism. If you think about it why else would a person lose their shit in public that violently if they weren’t absolutely pushed to it. I think this is just another way for the government to cause chaos and be agents of chaos. I wonder how well they’d do if we all just moved to the same city. I really do 🤣

Greetings ENFP’s! 👋

• I think my son is an ENFP and after I came to that realization (I thought he was an ENFJ) I wanted to know how to be the best support to him that I can be. 💜

*We have a lot of similarities (both have big imaginations, love Minecraft, very sensitive, and silly) , and we click really well, but I want to make sure I am doing all I can to celebrate who he is.
—What kinds of things did you wish your parents did? —What would you like them to know about you? —What made you feel loved and seen as a kid with your parents? —What should a parent of an ENFP be aware of?
~I have a million more questions, but I don’t want to be pestering.~
Any insight would be SO APPRECIATED! ☺️💜

JPL is on a bullet train towards layoff city and the only thing leadership can do is parade around some guy named Simon. Optimism isn’t going to fix the mistakes of MSR.
MSR leadership failed to manage a budget and now he (you know) gets a promotion. All while the whole thing gets blamed on congress for being rightly worried about exploding costs.
So now we have to go through ACCs knowing that not only is there no money to keep up with inflation, but our performance assessment will dictate if we get laid off.
No promotions for the individual contributors following bad leaders. And management is totally protected from being laid off - just like in Feb.
The right answer isn’t to just leave, because space exploration is important and cool. And space exploration doesn’t really exist without robots and spacecraft. We need to be vocal. Be upset. Complain. Tell your peers and managers that you’re frustrated.
Otherwise you will get laid off and management will be the only ones left - sitting in a campus void of people and full of a few cute deer and ton of red tape.

The way they made the veterans look. I know the point was more how these specific hires were people who weren’t cut out to be in this line of work because they had PTSD, or certain things in their background that really should have disqualified them for the position, and they were not trained whatsoever.
I understand they also were giving a nod to that proposition of posting veterans as armed guards in schools, and making their storylines some kind of cautionary tale …..especially with the whole smuggled gun deal.
But I still feel like the undercurrent is still making a blanket statement as if all veterans become desensitized to violence and death, and are forever warped mentally to the point they cant fully be trusted. As if they’re liabilities, or that they like violence and war, that they’re racists, perverts, dimwitted, misogynistic, etc…..
Maybe I’m missing something but….thats the way it seems like they are painted to me.

Tl;dr. I am so incredibly and lost and confused right now, I have no idea if I made the right choice, if I should try and talk to her, if I should go back and fix things, was there any hope anyway? I need some people who had similar experiences or understand the situation to weigh in some thoughts
Back story:
Before we got together she had expressed an interest and I said to her that would be a bit of a dealbreaker for me because for me I have to be with the person, the instability of moving around and not knowing when or how long you’d be gone would eat me alive and would kill me, I just can’t do long distance, I need to spend time with my person and see them regularly enough.
As time went on we had our issues, I was a bit more emotionally switched off in the sense i felt strongly but would never show it, and she was very immature. This caused issues along the way but over time i slowly became more emotional with her and she became better with understanding me and communicating. But nothing seemed to really be that bad it was obvious things were shit, I thought overall we were going well. Mind you this girl has liked me forever and chased me for months before I gave in. I was never interested at the time but once I gave in to give it a try, each week that went on i fell more and more for her until the point where I became sure she was the one for me and couldn’t think of anything I’d want more. The way she would just stare at me, the way she would comfort me and be with me, her presence was everything. I had my own personal issues, some pretty big health things going on and she never let it ever affect her, she was happy to just be with me on the days I couldn’t take her out, as long as she was with me she was so happy.
Anyway, the issue now is she told me she had decided she was going to join and that was final. In the moment I became so worked up and crushed because I thought we had already discussed it and she had told me it was just a job and didn’t matter and I was everything. I became so emotional in my head I shut down and told her that’s it then I can’t see a life with you potentially gone for months at a time. She wanted me to go with her, she tried to talk to me but I was so hurt by the fact that she had back flipped everything we ever talked about with moving in together and marriage and our future.
I don’t know if cutting things was right, I don’t know if she really was the one and I can’t let her go but I am lost beyond belief. I have never had a relationship break up be this hard, and that’s because I know deep down what we had was incredible.
She didn’t want to leave because she didn’t love me, there wasn’t another person, she wanted me and only me and all she wanted was for me to go with her wherever that may be. Something is telling me we are for each other and I would never have given up on her and if this armed forces didn’t come up we would’ve been fine continuing on. The important context here is I believe she wants to go because she comes from a broken family where none of them care for her or did anything for her. She was hurting bad and wants to run from her problems thinking it will solve her hurt. Not realising I was always there and she only needed to run to me and i would have walked through hell with her if that’s what it took.
Lastly I don’t see how she will make it in there because she has some health issues, she has a bad knee which with constant load across a few days gives in and leaves her stuck in bed for a few days, she has little energy and she doesn’t have an overly good physical form to handle the kind of fitness they would require. To me it feels like such a waste for a pipe dream to fix short term life problems, we were looking to move in together and honestly I would’ve married her within the next 12-18 months.
What do I do, i haven’t slept in days and i feel so lost and confused I can’t think or see anything clearly. All I know is I want to talk to her and build a life with her.
EDIT: I have since spoken to her and have agreed to have a few conversations to clear everything and then decide. We agree how it was left was wrong and left everyone hurt and confused with no closure. Feel free to weigh in still as I am still very much confused

Context: I met a girl 2 years ago and we connected. First were were friends for a while, then were were in a poly relationship and then friends with benefits. Before that school year was over we agreed that be both needed to heal and decided to go out own ways so we could heal. At the beginning of the next school year, I wrote a heartfelt letter saying that I wanted to reconnect. That was at the beginning of this school year. We got along well for months. Until last Thursday where I said their boyfriend is lazy and unreliable because he does nothing in class. Because of my jealousy, which I admitted to, she ended the friendship. I was devastated because I was very emotionally invested in them and I helped them with their feelings. However last night they contacted me because I asked a friend to ask how they were feeling about me. I told this friend "I'm basically asking you to spy on them". My friend told her that and this triggered their PTSD from a past relationship. I made it clear that all I wanted was to know how they were moving on. But they still got upset and said things that stabbed me in the heart. How/what should I do to move on?

Maybe I’m starting to understand why everyone says parenting is thankless.
I am a stay at home parent. I feel like every day I get through it without the baby (18 months) having an episode should win me a gold star, or at least receive a good job from my partner. But it’s also the expectation? Is this a sign I’m not cut out to be a stay at home parent? We are looking into care for the baby anyway so maybe it’s time to just accelerate that.
Partner is super helpful around the house and doing things too so it’s not like he’s doing nothing. I made dinner plus took care of the baby but I feel like I crave validation. Though I know we’re both working so hard. Should I let go of this desire for validation? How are others dealing with this?

My (25M) wife (24F) left me about six weeks ago, and we have already decided and started the process for getting a divorce. We have been together for 12 years and married for 2 years and have two children. I know the length of the relationship may be crazy considering our age. Without going into too much detail, this is something I knew was going to happen and should have happened sooner, as we have both been unhappy for a while and admittedly don’t have many common interests. I do believe this will be better for us and the kids in the end. Despite this, it hasn’t dampened any of the feelings that I have felt for the past 6 weeks or made any of it easier. A question I have is when does it start getting easier? I know that the separation is still new, and that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, but right now it is impossible to see that light. it seems like no matter how long it has been or what I do, it feels hopeless, like there is no end. I have been lucky to have a very supportive family and friend group to help me through this and am also going to a therapist. I have started working out 2-3x a week, I have also started picking back up some old hobbies that I miss doing and have enjoyed it. I also see the kids on the weekends and we have had a great time when they are over. Even with this, I can’t seem to even go a day without struggling through my emotions, feeling severely lonely, thinking about good memories we had, getting severely anxious about the future. I just feel like I am doing all the right things, but with no result in feeling better.

I (32M) recently got broken up with by my partner (30F) of 1.5 years.
My parents immigrated to this country from South Asia and I grew up with very little connection to there (don't speak the language or know much of the culture).
My ex actually grew up there and only came to the US in the past decade. So there was a lot of ground to cover in terms of learning.
I thought we were good progress in the 1.5 years together learning about her culture and family expectations but I regretfully might've taken it slower than she wanted which is part of why we broke up.
I just thought we had more time if we were going to marry. I got overwhelmed trying to prioritize what to work on perhaps. My therapist is saying I'm being hard on myself, that 1.5 years is a relatively short time to learn a language and culture and family expectations and that I made good progress given that we also had to spend time adjusting to each other as people. But I think I ultimately failed to manage expectations in a way that made her happy.
I still want to learn more about my language and culture (I even finally started Duolingo for it as I recently went on mental health leave and am taking a long hiatus from one of my hobbies so I have a lot of time), but how can I manage expectations better in the future? There's a good chance I date more people who grew up in my home country who would appreciate me gaining familiarity.
Things I thought of:

1. Identify courses in history, politics and culture. Then come up with a timeline with my partner for doing them
   
2. Commit to certain completion milestones on Duolingo, ie maintain a daily streak, do one lesson a day
   
3. Come up with a list of essential/cultutally significant movies and try to watch one a week. My ex and I sort of did this but it was very adhoc and I didn't really establish a quota or process for it
   

Tldr; I (32m) screwed up managing expectations with my ex (30f) around learning about her culture. How can I clearly establish learning goals and milestones next time. What is an appropriate amount of time to spend in the relationship before establishing this sort of thing?

The dust is settling on what has been an crazy ride. Hyped up ever since the Control verse, we finally got the beef put on wax. It definitely did not disappoint and Kendrick got at Drakes neck, but something is just not right.
The whole world is dancing on Drake's grave currently with "Not Like Us". Many of the general masses will go about their day unphased, but there has been some serious allegations admist all this. I feel like that's getting lost, so take a step back and think. Kendrick really is accusing Drake and his associates of PDF Philia. If true, there could be hurting victims in all this. Humans, just like you and I.
I wont claim to know an artists character through their music but Kendrick strikes me as someone who has a good morale ;) compass. This whole time he's been alluding to something deeper at play here. That he knows more, not just about OVO, but seemingly others in the entertainment industry. Think "It's some weird shit goin' on and some of these artists be here to police it". Like most good people in tough situations, it's probably eating at Kendrick's every waking moment. That he knows things, that he can't speak on due to the powers that be. Maybe that he can't even speak out due to potential harm to those he's loves.
It's gotta be brutal on the guy, but I have faith that Kendrick did not just willy nilly these allegations at Drake without seeing the movie before we even finished the trailer. I bet it doesn't sit right knowing that evil is still winning behind the scenes. Obviously, we're not anywhere near done with this beef fallout but I think Kendrick either goes down 3 paths. One; he's going to have even more metaphorical and symbolic dense lyrics that'll give the world a clue on what happened with OVO. Or two; Kendrick has already provided all the information to those who can act on this information legally (FBI). Or three; Kendrick just fucking lets it fly and goes the Pac route of burning everything down. I just hope he doesnt end up like him...

“““I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!” ‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3:15-16‬ ‭NLT‬‬
Christ had come to send a message to the church of Laodicea. The message would rebuke them of their lukewarmness, causing the lord to threatened to spit them out of his mouth. While many may not understand the full context of the verse, “spitting out of his mouth” leaves a bad connotation. What does it mean to be lukewarm, and how do we avoid being spat out?
The city of Laodicea( the location of the church this message was written to) was located between two other cities, Hierapolis( north of it) and Colossae(south of it). Hieapolis was filled with hot springs, heated from a volcanic mountain nearby, and is known for it’s hot springs even today. The people of Hierapolis believed that the hot springs obtained a healing nature, and would use the thermal springs for patients. This obviously makes the water good and useful.
However when water flowed from Hieapolis down to Laodicea, it took so long to do so that the water cooled, turning from hot to lukewarm. So when it came to Laodicea becoming lukewarm, it lost its healing properties, and thus wasn’t useful anymore.
Think of a Christian who’s lost their saltiness. A lukewarm Christian is one who isn’t living for God, but living for the world, and thus useless to him. It’s not someone struggling with sin, but one who fully embraces it, or has backslides into it.
”This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all.“ 1 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭15‬ ‭NLT‬‬
If this is you, don’t fret yet, there’s still hope. God didn’t come for the healthy, but the sick. Like all sins, we must repent and turn to God. Not only this, but we must be “refined by fire.
”So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference. “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.“ ‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3‬:‭18‬-‭20‬ ‭NLT‬‬
Laodicea had a decent amount of gold, seeing they were quite wealthy. But God cares not for ones wealth, but for ones faith. Paul in 1 Peter 1:7 describes faith, which is tested by fire, much more valuable than gold. We must have a living faith in God, but like all living things, it must be made strong through trials and tests.
Laodicea was also famous for its glossy wool. But here Jesus offered pure white garments, representing the covering of sin and putting on righteousness. God’s people must be righteous, or set apart from the world, living like Christ instead of the world.
When we do these things, even if we face struggles, our faith with shine like the brightest flame.

hi, I usually bring a gallon ziploc with me on hikes in case I find some cool stuff, but it tends to fill up quickly, and its awkward to carry... do yall know of any search terms I could look for to find the kind of bag I want?
ideally it would be an over-the-shoulder type bag, messenger bag, satchel, etc. or a backpack, and relatively large, and have an interior made from something that can be flipped inside out and rinsed off or removed completely to clean (I often find things that are muddy, dirty, and wet, obv) so i don't have to throw it in the washing machine and/or scrub it after every use...
my best idea to diy something is to just get a regular bag and put a garbage bag inside as a liner, but im afraid that sharp things would rip it and get the regular bag dirty
hard plastic containers are also out of the question as most hikes in my area involve climbing, so I need something that isn't a pain to haul around
thank you in advance my fellow dirt-averse goblin creatures

Approx 5 years ago, I had two very close friends that I have bonded with when I first moved to a new city. 3 years ago, after dealing with feelings of abandonment during Covid and loneliness, I did a stupid thing – I badmouth one of the friend on social media as a terrible person. upon her finding out, she was hurt and let me know that our friendship is over. The other friend kept a distance with me, refused to meet, and eventually stop reaching out.
I deeply apologized and we haven’t spoken since that incident. I have deeply regretted my actions and it took me a year to grief through the sadness in losing both friendships. Recently I decided to do that thing we advised friends not to- I searched and saw photos of them both spending time with new friends. Understandably it brought up memories of the good times we used to share - it made me sad to have lost these two friends and one of the last words the friend said to me was that she’s open to seeing if the friendship can be rekindled, after enough time has passed for us both to work through our differences. Deep down, a part of I really wanted to reach out and see if we have the opportunity to meet and talk. I’m terrified on the potential rejection I might face and I’m also uncertain if this is a wise thing to approach, given that we have gone through our self transformation and they have well and truly moved on.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I'm (29F) AuDHD level 1 socialization and level 2 rigidity and repetitive behaviors.
I live alone but my parents live 15min away and help with things like scheduling appointments, running errands, driving off-island (we live on one), and emotional support. I don't have any friends and am unable to work. I have a therapist that does CBT.
My life has gotten a lot more complicated lately and my parents have expressed that they're very worried about me, and would like to help, but the kind of help I'd like to ask for is something they've previously agreed to in the past and have never followed through with. I'd like to know whether my request is unreasonable or whether something else is going on.
My request is that they to do a little bit of research into the conditions I've been diagnosed with; just some good old fashioned quid-pro-quo, since I find that my own minimal research of their conditions helps me support them better.
My mom has read a book on autism—which was AWESOME and totally unexpected—but that's about it. They don't understand ADHD (they constantly tell me they have it too, they absolutely do not), circadian rhythm disorders, ARFID, my mom doesn't understand anxiety, and my dad doesn't understand ASD. They don't understand depression either, but I manage that well enough on my own.
I often find myself seeking their support when these conditions are overwhelming me most, and am met with confusion and unhelpful suggestions that they wouldn't have made if they'd done the bare minimum. For example, suggesting that I wake up earlier in order to address my circadian rhythm disorder, or asking me to explain what ARFID is while I'm struggling not to vomit due to its complications.
I don't have anyone else to rely on and I can't tell whether I need to approach this in a different way or whether I should just give up.

The Collect
O God, the King of glory, you have exalted your only Son Jesus Christ with great triumph to your kingdom in heaven: Do not leave us comfortless, but send us your Holy Spirit to strengthen us, and exalt us to that place where our Savior Christ has gone before; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
Readings:
Psalm 97; 99; 100 Reading I Samuel 16:1–13a
Gospel: Matthew 8:18–27
18 Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side.
19 And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest
20 And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head
21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
22 But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
23 And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him.
24 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.
25 And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.
26 And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.
27 But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!
Commentary:
Our study for today encompasses a collection of seemingly unrelated passages, but when viewed as a whole we find a great lesson in the cost of discipleship; not only for those who made up the first century church but for us today as well.
Although the verses recommended for this day begin with verse 18, by looking back at the rest of the chapter we find information which establishes the scene and gives us context for our understanding. Rather than to take a single verse at its face value, we must always look at the preceding verses as well as those that follow so as to thoroughly understand.
Assuming Matthews recollections of the events of chapter 8 are reflective of works of Christ that hapopened on the same day—and not events from throughout his ministry and lumped together here as Matthew wrote this Gospel years after the fact—we could conclude that our Lord had a busy day.
The chapter begins as Jesus is coming down off of the mountain where he preached the Sermon on the Mount, a great multitude of people following his every step, and a leper comes to worship him, he heals the man and tells him, “See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.” Then after entering Capernium a Roman Centurion comes to him asking Jesus to heal his servant. Impressed by the faith of a man who was not a Jew, but a Roman Gentile, Jesus healed the man’s slave by the authority of his word without even going to the slave’s bedside.
Matthew tells us that Jesus continued to heal many that day, beginning with Peter’s mother-in-law, then many others who were sick or possess by demons.
Our Lord had no qualms about healing the sick, but throughout the Gospels we can detect a note of concern on his part in that many were coming to him, apparently for the sole purpose of the healing of physical ailments, and not for the healing of spiritual illness. We find in more than one place, Jesus making the decision to cross over the Sea of Galilee, presumably so that he could teach away from the crowds that seemed to only want physical cures.
“Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side. And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest And Jesus saith unto him,The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head” (vs. 18-20)
In a time when most were illiterate and few could even write, Scribes held an important position. Scribes had knowledge of the law and could draft legal documents (contracts for marriage, divorce, loans, inheritance, mortgages, the sale of land, and the like). Every village had at least one scribe, and we can surmise that scribes enjoyed a certain degree of wealth due to the need of their services.
Jesus lived a very simple life, traveling about teaching the people of his plan for salvation, a life that was not glamorous and one without financial compensation. Jesus didn’t tell the man “No, you can’t follow Me.” But He told him the truth, without painting a glamorized version of what it was like to follow Him. This is the opposite of techniques used by many evangelists today, but Jesus wanted the man to know what it would really be like.
“And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him,Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” (vs. 21-22)
“Actually, this man did not ask for permission to dig a grave for his deceased father. He wanted to remain in his father’s house and care for him until the father died. This was obviously an indefinite period, which could drag on and on. This man was another of His disciples; yet he did not follow Jesus as he should have, nor as the 12 disciples did. This shows us that the term disciples has a somewhat broad meaning in the Gospel of Matthew, and must be understood in its context. The man wanted to follow Jesus, but not just yet. He knew it was good and that he should do it, but he felt there was a good reason why he could not do it now.” (Guzik)
“The excuse that this disciple made, to defer an immediate attendance on Christ (v. 21); "Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Before I come to be a close and constant follower of thee, let me be allowed to perform this last office of respect to my father; and in the mean time, let it suffice to be a hearer of thee now and then, when I can spare time." His father (some think) was now sick, or dying, or dead; others think, he was only aged, and not likely in a course of nature, to continue long; and he desired leave to attend upon him in his sickness, at his death, and to his grave, and then he would be at Christ's service. This seemed a reasonable request, and yet it was not right. He had not the zeal he should have had for the work, and therefore pleaded this, because it seemed a plausible plea.” (Henry)
“And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him. And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them,Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!” (vs. 23-27)
“He does not chide them for disturbing him with their prayers, but for disturbing themselves with their fears.” (Henry)
Here we have three great lessons in discipleship. The scribe would have been accustomed to receiving remuneration for his services, a disciple of Christ in those days as well as today must be prepared for hardship. Scribes such as this man enjoyed a certain degree of celebrity, an important man in the community who provided a service that was often needed. Disciples seldom gain celebrity, and the ones that do, frequently experience a downfall. Jesus said; “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” (Mt. 6:24) Jesus knew that this man would find it difficult to leave that which he was used to and to take up the cross and follow him.
The second lesson involves a disciple—a follower but not of the 12—who would have Jesus wait on him, until the man’s father had died and his affairs settled. Jesus knew his time on Earth was short, his appointment with destiny was just months away, but this man expected Jesus to wait for him.
We have to remember that at this point in his ministry, even the 12 seemed to think that when he established the Kingdom of God, they would enjoy high ranking positions in his administration. So many failed to realize that Jesus was speaking of a spiritual kingdom, a heavenly kingdom, and not a worldly political subdivision. Although Matthew does not make this point clear, we might surmise that this man wanted to be part of what he erroneously perceived to be a glorious worldly kingdom that rivaled that of King David’s era. Whatever the case may be in this man’s situation, when we consider the rebuke Jesus gave him “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” We can learn of another great cost in discipleship, the need to serve Jesus versus the need to serve our own agenda.
Finally we come to the third lesson. “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” We, as disciples of Christ, must always have faith, even in the face of danger.
Matthew Henry wrote: “His disciples followed him; the twelve kept close to him, when others staid behind upon the terra firma, where there was sure footing. Note, They, and they only, will be found the true disciples of Christ, that are willing to go to sea with him, to follow him into dangers and difficulties. Many would be content to go the land-way to heaven, that will rather stand still, or go back, than venture upon a dangerous sea; but those that would rest with Christ hereafter must follow him now wherever he leads them, into a ship or into a prison, as well as into a palace.”
Benediction
Almighty and most merciful God, grant that by the indwelling of your Holy Spirit we may be enlightened and strengthened for your service; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Thought for the Day:
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity.
Benjamin Franklin

Hail Brothers and Sisters!
I just finished a meditation session and I am wondering if you could help me figure out what the vision(s) mean. Note: I am aware that it is up to me to interpret as it is different with every person I am just looking for a external point of view.
The moment I started the temple automatically formed as the gods eagerly awaited me. Before I could ask anything I felt the a flap of wings behind me and the hand of Freyja. I felt the presence of every god and goddess in the room. I asked to see what is to come. As my fate is not my own and I am a mere reader of it. The gods showed a vision of me in a tank in a field looking down the sights and firing soon after the glorious Valkyries came and took me with no time wasted. I then saw myself amongst those in Valhalla feasting at a table. And not the tables of our brethren but the table of the Gods next to Odin himself. I also asked when the cycle of me messing up will stop and they showed a vision of me currently meditating. As I finished my meditation the statues of Odin, Freyja and Thor that I had emplaced at a specific location where moved closer to me. I then looked at myself in the mirror and I saw myself in a different light. I was surrounded by Valkyries with a raven on my shoulder with runic markings and Viking paint on my face. Then I heard a voice say 'Glory to the Aesir, Glory to the drengr of Ragnarök!' before it all faded and I returned to my normal state.
I know the gods are near me at all times as I see ravens everyday each deviating from their path to follow my direction of travel. As well as I had one land on my shoulder and look at me. I extended my arm and it jumped to my arm. Its talons in my arm yet not painful. In the distance I could see Odin looking in my direction and smiling at me.
I have a feeling that this vision is tied to what the gods have taught me in the past. They had mentioned and showed me a unspoken goddess named Ylva Odinsdottir. And in visions where I stood in Valhalla I was in the body of that goddess. As if they were telling me I am that unspoken goddess(for more context look at the other posts I have made).
I have really gotten into Assassin's creed Valhalla recently and despite it not being fully Historically accurate I have a feeling of strong connection to Eivor. As if I am watching myself. Some of the visions I am shown correlate a lot to what I see in the game. I believe the gods are trying to show me the truth of who I am not only in celestial realms but here on Midgard and what purpose I serve down here. Also another thing that correlates to the game is how the gods talk to me during the day. Time freezes and I get taken to a darken place with all that are around with Odin, and Freyja walking around talking to me about things. I notice that I am no longer in my Midgard form but rather in celestial form during these talks. Once they have said what they needed to time would restart and continue as if nothing happened during that time.
I appreciate any who answer and give their view on what I shared. I will take any opinions on what I said into consideration in the meaning of the vision and what the gods have shown.
Glory to the Gods! Glory to Valhalla! Glory to Midgard!

My poor late boyfriend's evil older sister, "Queenie" (as she likes to be called🤮). I've posted about her here before.
She would get on some raging jag and send him texts, FB messages, call his cell phone and his house phone, berating him, or telling him how terrible her life is, or going off on how she's glad their other sister died or his wife died or... (Have you seen Baby Reindeer? Like that.)
I told him to block her. He couldn't. He needed to know what she was saying, and what she was saying about him on social media. She said some awful, mean-spirited things.
He felt he always had to keep track of her. She fed him lies and drugs. When she had an up day, she'd write some beautiful letter praising him for being the best brother ever, and giving him suboxones or whatever other drugs she had on hand.
Their sister (who took her own life in 2016) used to put flyers up all over town about how horrible of a person he was.
He truly wasn't a bad person. He had so much goodness and love that he just couldn't see, due to all the trauma...
At some point in the past few years, he stopped using social media as much, but still wanted to know what Queenie was up to. I made an extra account and have been tracking her and other unsavory family members for him. For several years.
I have screenshots that would make anyone go blind with rage.
My boyfriend, the absolute love of my life, my favorite, died at the beginning of February. Alcohol and drugs. Both things that Queenie introduced him to at an early early age.
When he died, she posted a happy video of herself and her family laughing it up at karaoke. Days after the funeral, she posted about how sad she is that she's the only one left alive in her family, and how she had to walk away because he didn't want to be loved and saved.
She made no effort to love him, ever. She made no effort to save him. She took out a restraining order against him and took him to court multiple times in the last couple years.
When he was at his lowest, drinking and having seizures in his house, she sent police to do wellness checks on him constantly.
This is not love. This is abuse.
And now. I can't stop tracking her.
Her house is up for tax sale at the end of the month because she didn't pay property taxes or her utility bills for the last two YEARS.
Today, she posts that the Universe gave her some "fun money" and she was going to have a blowout anniversary.
The taxes, Queenie.
But then says that her plumbing is fucked and she has to pay Roto-Rooter to come out.....
I... I need to get away from this. I don't know how. I don't even live there anymore.
But I have a righteous anger against her. I am writing what I want about her here and on tumblr, and even mentioning on my tiktok how her actions his entire life ended up killing my boyfriend.
I wish Karma would just SMITE her.
How do I get away? I know I could just ignore and forget, but I am still protective of my boyfriend's adult children too.... I don't want her to somehow ruin their lives....