I am a 32 year old female. Height 5'8".
The first time I did intermittent fasting was in 2019, but I didn't do it correctly, mostly starving myself. However, it worked! I went from 235 to 140 lbs in less than a year! This transformation completely changed my life. I was so happy and finally began to feel comfortable in my own skin, instead of constantly trying to hide myself.
Within a year, I intentionally increased my weight to 160 lbs and maintained it until March 2023.
Sadly, my husband passed away a year ago due to cancer, and I fell into a deep depression. I stopped working out, started drinking every night, and consumed unhealthy food throughout the day. Oh boy and of course because of that I've gained weight, and now I'm up to 204 lbs! All my clothes started feeling tight, so I decided to step on the scale, and seeing that number made me realize I needed to stop this BS!!
The first step I took was to completely stop drinking alcohol. Then, I started following a 16:8 intermittent fasting schedule. This time, I wanted to do it right. I ensured that I wouldn't consume more than 1200 calories a day, all from healthy homemade food. Also, I began working out daily.
After 14 days of following this routine, I decided to weigh myself, only to find out that I gained 2 lbs! I understand that it's only been 14 days, but I'm confused about why I'm gaining weight. What am I doing wrong?
I really need constructive criticism, advice, or any form of support. I really need it!!!
Side note: I've always been fortunate that when I started dieting, my body would begin losing weight. However, I also understand that I'm older now, and things might not work the same way as they used to.

I think I figured out how to do self-attention in NlogN computation steps rather than N^2, with a caveat. I'm not trying to be an academic, so I don't care to publish this formally, but I thought that some people might be interested. My construction is not efficient or practical, but the fact that it can be done at all might motivate further work to find efficient alternatives.
tl;dr Use the parallel scan technique to compute taylor series basis functions needed to compute the causal self-attention layer and sum these together weighted by the values vector and 1 to get the numerator and denominator of the softmax activation of the full causal self-attention layer. The basis functions that you have to compute are both the basis functions for the numerator of the self-attention layer, $\sum_{i=0}^{j-1} k(i)_a^n q(j)_b^m v(i)$ and the normalization $\sum_{i=0}^{j-1} k(i)_a^n q(j)_b^m$. k(i)_a^n is component-a of the ith key vector raised to the power of n multiplied by q(j)_b^m which is component-b of the jth query vector raised to the power of m, which is multiplied by the value vector at position i in the first equation and by 1 in the second, and all summed together. Once you can do this, you've computed a basis function for a Taylor series. Multiply each basis function by a coefficient and sum them together to create an arbitrary function of k(i) and q(j). Using this technique, we can compute the Taylor series approximation for the numerator and the denominator of the softmax activation each taking logN * {number of coefficients} parallel steps, or O(N) sequential steps by treating the accumulation as a type of RNN.

Background

I was inspired to think about this because I was implementing MAMBA and trying to understand what kind of non-linearities can be created using the parallel scan technique. If you don't know what parallel scan is, let me demonstrate with an example. The simplest example of the parallel scan technique is computing all partial sums of a sequence of numbers in log(N) time. Imagine you have a sequence [a_1, a_2, a_3, a_4, ...]. You can compute all partial sums by first adding a_i to a_{i -1}, where a_{-1} is zero, and generally a_{-n} is defined to be zero. Then take the result, call it r = [a_1, a_1+a_2, a_2 + a_3, ...], and compute r_i + r_{i-2}, which gives [a_1, a_1+a_2, a_1+a_2+a_3, ...]. The first 4 partial sums are already complete. The next step would be r_i + r_{i-2**2}, and the next step, just increase the power of 2 until i-2**power is negative for every i in the sequence. It basically sums groups, and then sums those groups together, and so on and so forth until the partial sum at each position is calculated. The scan technique is a way to parallelize an RNN. Essentially, you remove some nonlinearities in the RNN so that recurrence equation becomes associative. Once it is associative, you can compute the hidden state at each position of the sequence in log N parallel steps, where each parallel step has O(N) computations.

The Meat of It

In the background section, I explained how to compute a partial sum in O(log(N)) time and O(NlogN) computation steps (or O(N) time and O(N) computation steps by using RNNs) using the parallel scan technique. I'll use this now to construct the Taylor series for causal self-attention layer.
Let's assume we have a tensor x of shape (sequence_length, embedding_dim), and we can compute the query, key and value tensors from x using q=Qx, k=Kx and v=Vx, where Q, K and V are matrices. Compute y = (k[:,i]**n)*v. Now use the parallel scan technique to accumulate the partial sums of every vector in y, which will give ParallelPartialSum(y)=[y[0,:], y[0,:]+y[1,:], ...]. Now multiply the result by q[:,j]**m, and now we have a basis function for a Taylor series expansion. The full formula is q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v). Next, we can add up these functions for different powers of n and m using coefficients to approximate any function. The final equation is \sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v).
What is left is to find the Taylor series coefficients A_{n, m} and to calculate the normalization for the softmax. I'm not actually going to give an equation for A_{n, m}, but I will show that it can be done. First, I'm just going to write $q \cdot k$ in place of $q[:,j,:] \cdot k[:,i,:]$ to make it easier to write and read. We want the Taylor series of $exp(q \cdot k) = 1 + (q \cdot k) + (q \cdot k)**2 / 2! + ... + (q \cdot k)**n / n! + ...$. To find the Taylor series coefficient for every component of q and component of k and every power of each, you'd have to expand out (q \cdot k)**n /n! for every n. It can be done but I'm not going to do it. Just assume that A_{n, m} is equal to these coefficients, and voila, we have the numerator of the softmax equation for self-attention. We still need the denominator. To compute the denominator of the softmax over attention scores, you compute the same sum replacing the value tensor with the number 1. $\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} x[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((x[:,i]**n))$, where again the value vector at the end of the equation is removed. The final equation for the causal self-attention layer is:
$$ (\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v)) / (\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n))) $$
Where again, A_{n, m} are the Taylor series coefficients for exp( q \cdot k).

Take-Aways

One big take away from this work, is that since causal self-attention can be calculated using the parallel scan technique, and since a parallel scan can be computed with an RNN, it follows that full causal self-attention can be computed with RNNs. The caveat is that you need many RNNs, one for each Taylor series basis function, so to get a good enough approximation of the softmax activation, you'd probably need a lot of coefficients, more than would be practical. On the other hand, what if there is a related activation that does the job of the softmax, but can be constructed with far fewer parallel scans? Then full causal self-attention could be done using only a few RNNs. Also, there are other basis functions that can be computed with one parallel scan, for instance, basis functions for a Fourier series can be computed with one parallel scan.

I am a 32 year old female. Height 5'8".
The first time I did intermittent fasting was in 2019, but I didn't do it correctly, mostly starving myself. However, it worked! I went from 235 to 140 lbs in less than a year! This transformation completely changed my life. I was so happy and finally began to feel comfortable in my own skin, instead of constantly trying to hide myself.
Within a year, I intentionally increased my weight to 160 lbs and maintained it until March 2023.
Sadly, my husband passed away a year ago due to cancer, and I fell into a deep depression. I stopped working out, started drinking every night, and consumed unhealthy food throughout the day. Oh boy and of course because of that I've gained weight, and now I'm up to 204 lbs! All my clothes started feeling tight, so I decided to step on the scale, and seeing that number made me realize I needed to stop this BS!!
The first step I took was to completely stop drinking alcohol. Then, I started following a 16:8 intermittent fasting schedule. This time, I wanted to do it right. I ensured that I wouldn't consume more than 1200 calories a day, all from healthy homemade food. Also, I began working out daily.
After 14 days of following this routine, I decided to weigh myself, only to find out that I gained 2 lbs! I understand that it's only been 14 days, but I'm confused about why I'm gaining weight. What am I doing wrong?
I really need constructive criticism, advice, or any form of support. I really need it!!!
Side note: I've always been fortunate that when I started dieting, my body would begin losing weight. However, I also understand that I'm older now, and things might not work the same way as they used to.

I am a 32 year old female. Height 5'8".
The first time I did intermittent fasting was in 2019, but I didn't do it correctly, mostly starving myself. However, it worked! I went from 235 to 140 lbs in less than a year! This transformation completely changed my life. I was so happy and finally began to feel comfortable in my own skin, instead of constantly trying to hide myself.
Within a year, I intentionally increased my weight to 160 lbs and maintained it until March 2023.
Sadly, my husband passed away a year ago due to cancer, and I fell into a deep depression. I stopped working out, started drinking every night, and consumed unhealthy food throughout the day. Oh boy and of course because of that I've gained weight, and now I'm up to 204 lbs! All my clothes started feeling tight, so I decided to step on the scale, and seeing that number made me realize I needed to stop this BS!!
The first step I took was to completely stop drinking alcohol. Then, I started following a 16:8 intermittent fasting schedule. This time, I wanted to do it right. I ensured that I wouldn't consume more than 1200 calories a day, all from healthy homemade food. Also, I began working out daily.
After 14 days of following this routine, I decided to weigh myself, only to find out that I gained 2 lbs! I understand that it's only been 14 days, but I'm confused about why I'm gaining weight. What am I doing wrong?
I really need constructive criticism, advice, or any form of support. I really need it!!!
Side note: I've always been fortunate that when I started dieting, my body would begin losing weight. However, I also understand that I'm older now, and things might not work the same way as they used to.

I am a 32 year old female. Height 5'8".
The first time I did intermittent fasting was in 2019, but I didn't do it correctly, mostly starving myself. However, it worked! I went from 235 to 140 lbs in less than a year! This transformation completely changed my life. I was so happy and finally began to feel comfortable in my own skin, instead of constantly trying to hide myself.
Within a year, I intentionally increased my weight to 160 lbs and maintained it until March 2023.
Sadly, my husband passed away a year ago due to cancer, and I fell into a deep depression. I stopped working out, started drinking every night, and consumed unhealthy food throughout the day. Oh boy and of course because of that I've gained weight, and now I'm up to 204 lbs! All my clothes started feeling tight, so I decided to step on the scale, and seeing that number made me realize I needed to stop this BS!!
The first step I took was to completely stop drinking alcohol. Then, I started following a 16:8 intermittent fasting schedule. This time, I wanted to do it right. I ensured that I wouldn't consume more than 1200 calories a day, all from healthy homemade food. Also, I began working out daily.
After 14 days of following this routine, I decided to weigh myself, only to find out that I gained 2 lbs! I understand that it's only been 14 days, but I'm confused about why I'm gaining weight. What am I doing wrong?
I really need constructive criticism, advice, or any form of support. I really need it!!!
Side note: I've always been fortunate that when I started dieting, my body would begin losing weight. However, I also understand that I'm older now, and things might not work the same way as they used to.

For all the videos there are about the new SubClass that we will get in the Final Form DLC, I have heard that in the Lore... the Guardians can use Light and Darkness whenever and however much they want, even making combinations of the Super Skills.
In view of this, I thought of making my own Super Skills for the Guardians, I just hope you like it
ARC ENERGY
Feet/Electric Fists (Hunter and Titans): Fight using your feet/fists to attack, with each blow releasing electric shocks of 500 volts and shooting bolts of electricity. If someone is skilled enough with their feet or fists, they can charge energy to deliver stronger blows
Magnetic Barrier (Sorcerer): Generate a layered electromagnetic field to repel everything
Nunchaku (Hunter): Creation of a three-bar-long Nunchaku capable of killing by transmitted electricity or deatomization
Taming the Storm (Sorcerer) Capable of creating electrical storms of great size and destruction.
Lightning Dancer (Hunter): Creates two short blades for quick kills and also allows the user to "sape" jump at high speed
Solar ENERGY
Flaming Halberd (Sorcerer, Hunter and Titans): Creates a fiery halberd capable of launching fireballs
Bo Nuclear (Titan, Sorcerer and Hunter): Creates a combat bo that causes small, radiation-free nuclear explosions.
Celestial (Sorcerer): Creation of spheres made of solar energy the size of a fist that obey their owner who uses them to attack or shoot enemies
Shirai Ryu (Hunter): Creates a Japanese kunai attached to a long chain, capable of reach long distances and tools such as whips, harpoon, a hook and with the necessary skill, the kunai can be thrown as an arrogafizo knife that explodes upon impact, the kunai at the tip regenerates in a short time. How many of these exist at a time depends on the skill of the user.
STRINGS ENERGY
Tamer (Hunter, Titan and Sorcerer): Use the strings of the universe to create animals capable of understanding the creator.
Chained Swords (Titan): Two short swords are connected to the hands of the Guardian who can cause chaos
Reaper (Sorcerer and Titan): Creating a large scythe
Spider (Sorcerer, Hunter and Titan): Able to create webs capable of turning invisible and trap enemies
Beethoven (Hunter, Titan and Sorcerer): Creation of instruments capable of shaking reality with musical notes, notes that can bring death to their enemies
VOID ENERGY
Void Blood (Sorcerer): Manipulate the energy of Void to control the bodies of enemies, causing them great pain or ending their lives
Entropic Wave (Sorcerer): Creation of a wave of Void power that eliminates from existence everything it catches
Chains of Morgana (Sorcerer): Creation of chains of great strength capable of catching any object that moves, durability depends on the strength of the owner
Breastplate (Titan): An armor is formed that covers the entire Guardian while gaining a slight boost in its strength and speed.
Shadow Step (Hunter, Sorcerer and Titan): The ability of a Guardian to use shadows to move quickly
Stacis ENERGY
Cerberus of Helheim (Hunter): Creates a Nunchaku of three bars attached to a ring capable of freezing and destroying enemies
Leviathan ( Titan): Single-bladed combat ax capable of destroying enemies in different ways
Frozen Zombie (Sorcerer): Grows ice constructions capable of creating humanoid beings of ice, the enemies they catch are covered in ice and forced to follow the will of the Guardian

Some preliminary info:
My mum and I have lived in our townhouse for over 10 years. During that time, we have constructed planter boxes that are set on our driveway (we don't own a car, so we use the space for that). For many years my mother has carried out her hobby of gardening there. We received new neighbors approximately 1.5 years ago. For the longest time, they would be throwing parties that would leak over to the AMs of the next day, as well as do renovations. While being understanding, it got to a point where my mum couldn't take the noise anymore at night. After numerous attempts to contact our new neighbours to decrease the noise of their parties, she finally made a noise complaint to a city. Parties started to occur less frequently.
THEN came the REALLY noisy stuff. The majority of my neighbors' renovation was to finish the basement. It was during this time when OUR house would start to shake at times. Aside from the fact that this distracted my mum from doing her (remote) job, it drew a concern as to what could possibly be happening in their basement that would cause OUR house to shake. Again, she reached out to them numerous times, with vague answers. And again my mother filed an anonymous complaint.
Turned out, they did not have the permits for the type of construction they were doing in the basement. They got super-peeved at us, as they now were delayed and had to spend a bit more money.
Anyways, fast forward to 1.5 months ago, I'm helping mum with gardening stuff. The male neighbor (of the couple) decides to approach us. He decides to "apologize" and be the "bettebigger person". Following his apology though, he makes a complaint about one of our planter boxes, the one that borders the property line between us. He says that some of the wood pieces are falling off/poking out onto his property (fair, though my mum reckons he purposely took some of the pieces of, but that's speculation). He decides to give us an ultimatum: either move the planter box more onto our property (an inch our two, but with soil and wood, probably weighs a ton, so not happening), repair the boards, or destroy it. Otherwise he will complain to the city that the planter box is on his property. So.... he's still a little butthurt that we complained to the city of his actions, and wants to have something over us.
But my mum remained positive. Understanding that the outer pieces of the planter box ARE weathered (some scrap 2x4s, some decent pieces of wood), she set out to buy sheets of new plywood that would be weather-proofed, and would replace those pieces after I took them out and drilled the sheets in.
This evening we were measuring the dimensions of the planter box to figure out what lengths I would need to cut the plywood. To make one of these measurements, we had to step into our neighbors' driveway. He saw what we were doing, and asked us to get of his property. We explained what we were doing, to which he responded "unless YOU have a permit to do this, the only thing you can do is destroy it, otherwise I'll be filing my own complaints" (not verbatim, but that was the gist of it). My mum and him at a little tiff, but I got the last of the measurements for us to then leave his driveway.
I am not a confrontational person; I'm not good at aggression or telling strangers to fuck off. But I do not like the fact that I have this intimidating dude trying to scare my old mum and threatening her to destroy something she's worked years on. Furthermore, I have the following contentions:

• The planter box on the property line border was there WAY before the new neighbors bought the place. To me, the fact that they bought it at all should also be an okay/acknowledgement of the placement of the box on the property line; unless something happened to it that ACTUALLY affects them (eg breaks and soil spills over), they shouldn't (?) have a problem.
  
• We reached out multiple times to them, trying to be civil; if they responded in kind, reassuring us in some fashion, I believe we wouldn't be in this mess, especially if you're doing things you ought to get a permit for. I get taking a few shortcuts here and there, but not a good idea trying to do so if you can't cover your ass/be cautious
  
• I looked at City of Toronto's website (https://www.toronto.ca/services-payments/building-construction/apply-for-a-building-permit/when-do-i-need-a-building-permit/), while it DEFINITELY says one is required when finishing a basement (so we were right to complain), don't think I see one particular about changing out wood for a planter box (which I am not considering an addition to the house, as a line of pots would basically be the same thing)
  
• I am borderline worried he'll try to go out of his way to get my mum in trouble
  
• How else are we gonna replace the old wood with new if we aren't on their property a little? We're specifically doing it because they don't want any of the old stuff breaking off into their driveway (potentially damaging their capop a tire, according to them) in the future. It's gotta make sense!
  
• I think he was "trying to be nice/bigger person", but he just wants to make as sad for making him spend more money and time by making us destroy our own stuff. So much for self-improvement on his part I guess.
  

Anyways, I think we'll try our best to fix up the box as efficiently as we can. We won't be covert about it, but to avoid the neighbors yelling at us again, not gonna loudly advertise it. Just drill out screws, take pieces out, and drill in a big sheet. But does anyone want to chime in on what rights I have if this guy calls the cops on us or makes a scene? Again, we're doing this at HIS request, and he's making it difficult to do. Or if you believe there is bias on my part, feel free to point it out! Free to answer questions as well. Hope I was able to get my points across. Any law stuff would help also!

Some preliminary info:
My mum and I have lived in our townhouse for over 10 years. During that time, we have constructed planter boxes that are set on our driveway (we don't own a car, so we use the space for that). For many years my mother has carried out her hobby of gardening there. We received new neighbors approximately 1.5 years ago. For the longest time, they would be throwing parties that would leak over to the AMs of the next day, as well as do renovations. While being understanding, it got to a point where my mum couldn't take the noise anymore at night. After numerous attempts to contact our new neighbours to decrease the noise of their parties, she finally made a noise complaint to a city. Parties started to occur less frequently.
THEN came the REALLY noisy stuff. The majority of my neighbors' renovation was to finish the basement. It was during this time when OUR house would start to shake at times. Aside from the fact that this distracted my mum from doing her (remote) job, it drew a concern as to what could possibly be happening in their basement that would cause OUR house to shake. Again, she reached out to them numerous times, with vague answers. And again my mother filed an anonymous complaint.
Turned out, they did not have the permits for the type of construction they were doing in the basement. They got super-peeved at us, as they now were delayed and had to spend a bit more money.
Anyways, fast forward to 1.5 months ago, I'm helping mum with gardening stuff. The male neighbor (of the couple) decides to approach us. He decides to "apologize" and be the "bettebigger person". Following his apology though, he makes a complaint about one of our planter boxes, the one that borders the property line between us. He says that some of the wood pieces are falling off/poking out onto his property (fair, though my mum reckons he purposely took some of the pieces of, but that's speculation). He decides to give us an ultimatum: either move the planter box more onto our property (an inch our two, but with soil and wood, probably weighs a ton, so not happening), repair the boards, or destroy it. Otherwise he will complain to the city that the planter box is on his property. So.... he's still a LITTLE angry that we complained to the city of his actions, and wants to have something over us.
But my mum remained positive. Understanding that the outer pieces of the planter box ARE weathered (some scrap 2x4s, some decent pieces of wood), she set out to buy sheets of new plywood that would be weather-proofed, and would replace those pieces after I took them out and drilled the sheets in.
This evening we were measuring the dimensions of the planter box to figure out what lengths I would need to cut the plywood. To make one of these measurements, we had to step into our neighbors' driveway. He saw what we were doing, and asked us to get of his property. We explained what we were doing, to which he responded "unless YOU have a permit to do this, the only thing you can do is destroy it, otherwise I'll be filing my own complaints" (not verbatim, but that was the gist of it). My mum and him at a little tiff, but I got the last of the measurements for us to then leave his driveway.
I am not a confrontational person; I'm not good at aggression. But I do not like the fact that I have this intimidating dude trying to scare my old mum and threatening her to destroy something she's worked years on. Furthermore, I have the following contentions:

• The planter box on the property line border was there WAY before the new neighbors bought the place. To me, the fact that they bought it at all should also be an okay/acknowledgement of the placement of the box on the property line; unless something happened to it that ACTUALLY affects them (eg breaks and soil spills over), they shouldn't (?) have a problem.
  
• We reached out multiple times to them, trying to be civil; if they responded in kind, reassuring us in some fashion, I believe we wouldn't be in this mess, especially if you're doing things you ought to get a permit for. I get taking a few shortcuts here and there, but not a good idea trying to do so if you can't be cautious
  
• I looked at City of Toronto's website (https://www.toronto.ca/services-payments/building-construction/apply-for-a-building-permit/when-do-i-need-a-building-permit/), while it DEFINITELY says one is required when finishing a basement (so we were right to complain), don't think I see one particular about changing out wood for a planter box (which I am not considering an addition to the house, as a line of pots would basically be the same thing)
  
• I am borderline worried he'll try to go out of his way to get my mum in trouble
  
• How else are we gonna replace the old wood with new if we aren't on their property a little? We're specifically doing it because they don't want any of the old stuff breaking off into their driveway (potentially damaging their capop a tire, according to them) in the future. It's gotta make sense!
  
• I think he was "trying to be nice/bigger person", but he just wants to make as sad for making him spend more money and time by making us destroy our own stuff. So much for self-improvement on his part I guess.
  

Anyways, I think we'll try our best to fix up the box as efficiently as we can. We won't be covert about it, but to avoid the neighbors yelling at us again, not gonna loudly advertise it. Just drill out screws, take pieces out, and drill in a big sheet. But does anyone want to chime in on what rights I have if this guy calls the cops on us or makes a scene? Again, we're doing this at HIS request, and he's making it difficult to do. Or if you believe there is bias on my part, feel free to point it out! Free to answer questions as well. Hope I was able to get my points across. Any law stuff would help also!

Tl;dr. I am so incredibly and lost and confused right now, I have no idea if I made the right choice, if I should try and talk to her, if I should go back and fix things, was there any hope anyway? I need some people who had similar experiences or understand the situation to weigh in some thoughts
Back story:
Before we got together she had expressed an interest and I said to her that would be a bit of a dealbreaker for me because for me I have to be with the person, the instability of moving around and not knowing when or how long you’d be gone would eat me alive and would kill me, I just can’t do long distance, I need to spend time with my person and see them regularly enough.
As time went on we had our issues, I was a bit more emotionally switched off in the sense i felt strongly but would never show it, and she was very immature. This caused issues along the way but over time i slowly became more emotional with her and she became better with understanding me and communicating. But nothing seemed to really be that bad it was obvious things were shit, I thought overall we were going well. Mind you this girl has liked me forever and chased me for months before I gave in. I was never interested at the time but once I gave in to give it a try, each week that went on i fell more and more for her until the point where I became sure she was the one for me and couldn’t think of anything I’d want more. The way she would just stare at me, the way she would comfort me and be with me, her presence was everything. I had my own personal issues, some pretty big health things going on and she never let it ever affect her, she was happy to just be with me on the days I couldn’t take her out, as long as she was with me she was so happy.
Anyway, the issue now is she told me she had decided she was going to join and that was final. In the moment I became so worked up and crushed because I thought we had already discussed it and she had told me it was just a job and didn’t matter and I was everything. I became so emotional in my head I shut down and told her that’s it then I can’t see a life with you potentially gone for months at a time. She wanted me to go with her, she tried to talk to me but I was so hurt by the fact that she had back flipped everything we ever talked about with moving in together and marriage and our future.
I don’t know if cutting things was right, I don’t know if she really was the one and I can’t let her go but I am lost beyond belief. I have never had a relationship break up be this hard, and that’s because I know deep down what we had was incredible.
She didn’t want to leave because she didn’t love me, there wasn’t another person, she wanted me and only me and all she wanted was for me to go with her wherever that may be. Something is telling me we are for each other and I would never have given up on her and if this armed forces didn’t come up we would’ve been fine continuing on. The important context here is I believe she wants to go because she comes from a broken family where none of them care for her or did anything for her. She was hurting bad and wants to run from her problems thinking it will solve her hurt. Not realising I was always there and she only needed to run to me and i would have walked through hell with her if that’s what it took.
Lastly I don’t see how she will make it in there because she has some health issues, she has a bad knee which with constant load across a few days gives in and leaves her stuck in bed for a few days, she has little energy and she doesn’t have an overly good physical form to handle the kind of fitness they would require. To me it feels like such a waste for a pipe dream to fix short term life problems, we were looking to move in together and honestly I would’ve married her within the next 12-18 months.
What do I do, i haven’t slept in days and i feel so lost and confused I can’t think or see anything clearly. All I know is I want to talk to her and build a life with her.
EDIT: I have since spoken to her and have agreed to have a few conversations to clear everything and then decide. We agree how it was left was wrong and left everyone hurt and confused with no closure. Feel free to weigh in still as I am still very much confused

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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I am 24 years old, and I have been out of school for exactly 2 years now. I have a bachelor's degree in supply chain management & logistics. Here is background information:
I had a landscaping business in college. Did that for over 3 years, then graduated college and thought "getting a job" is the "thing to do." Sold landscaping equipment, got my real estate license, got a job as an outside sales rep for a regional sized trash & recycling company. I did a few few estate deals my first year being licensed. I worked the job for over a year and did pretty well at it. I then took a position as inside sales rep selling lab equipment. Just left that job after 9 months... so boring I was at a cubicle from 8 to 5 and it was depressing. I am back in the trash & recycling biz and it's fine for now (flexible, I can do real estate also, work on other interests), but this is not what I want. Its unfulfilling, and I'm learning that fulfillment is an important part of life.
So, I have about 2 years of work experience. I have a degree in Supply Chain Management. I want to build a successful career and don't know what avenue to pursue. It stresses me out daily thinking "What is it that I want to do?" I am good with people, not so much good with numbers/technical stuff. I want to work with a team and be a leader one day. Interaction with humans is important to me. I cannot work at a desk all day.
I live pretty simply and have saved over $100,000, as I understand that a "cushion" is a factor in choosing career path. I am debt free, my vehicles and toys are paid for.
I appreciate the genuine advice.

I just got fired from a major corporation. I’ve been a pharmacy technician since October 2021. I’m near Charlotte, NC. USA
I can fill in more details as needed. I feel like so much has happened during my time with this company, I’m not even really sure which parts of the story are relevant.
But to start, I was at a store that didn’t have a store manager for 6 months and I was having issues getting hours, support, literally any paperwork being done because my pharmacy manager (pharmacist in charge, RXM) did not like me. We were understaffed, there was a ton of drama. I had spoken to the district manager (DM) about my issues several times and finally after a technician lashed out and threw some filling totes and some bagged prescriptions at me and another technician, I called him after work and told him I no longer felt safe and wouldn’t be returning to work until he handled the situation.
I help out at other stores all the time and one of the stores I help out offered me to transfer. Additionally, right after I left pretty much everyone quit, I was not the only person with issues at that store. After that situation, since I was already starting the process of transferring, instead of waiting two more weeks I immediately went to the new store. During this time I had started the process for ADA accommodations through HR and with my doctor.
The week I started at the new store, I sat down with the pharmacy tech manager (RXOM) and the store manager (SM). This probably should have been my first red flag, but the SM basically asked something along the lines of why he should let me transfer because it sounds like I had a lot of problems at the old store. So upon starting at this specific store, I disclosed issues I have socially due to my disability and stated that I needed clear communication because I do not pick up on hints or subtleties and that I needed clear feedback when I have made a mistake or in a situation where I upset someone. I also disclosed that I would need additional assistance in tense situations with customers and coworkers. I explained there was a lot of drama and pettiness at my old pharmacy and that I inadvertently caused a lot of issues because I was oblivious to it. The SM basically decided that it didn’t sound like an issue to be clear and concise and kind of guide me through situations that come up. He assured me I could talk to him anytime. I was repeatedly ignored when I requested aid in those situations. And then if the outcome was less than satisfactory, I was punished. The tech manager became my support needs liaison, but the store and assistant manager refused to accommodate me. The tech manager actually got a lot of crap for trying to help me. I have a disability that can affect the way I am perceived by other people and speaking to people about it usually helps clear up any problems. I was not given an opportunity to do this. I thought I was protecting myself my disclosing my needs and weaknesses.
So at this store a few things happened with different people all at once and the store became short staffed. I started helping out a lot, staying late when I could, picking up shifts even though I had to find extra childcare. The pharmacy manager quit a few weeks after I got there, a few technicians quit or drastically reduced their hours, a couple people went on leave. So the ESM (assistant store manager) started helping out in the pharmacy more, mostly with filling prescriptions. I was warned before she started helping out that she was really prickly and if I had any issues that I could talk to the RXOM. There were a few things that came up and he told me that I wasn’t misconstruing things, to just ignore her.
And then came a day where we had a ton of call outs, my RXOM wasn’t in that day and the SM had left. It was Christmas eve weekend. So the pharmacy was gonna be closed the next day. So we were extremely short staffed, extremely busy and the phones were insane. The ESM started out the day basically complaining to us about how nothing was done, it was a mess, etc etc. I wouldn’t even call it passive aggressive. She was outright threatening and saying she would definitely be telling the RXM and SM about how incompetent we were, how out of hand everything was.
There was an incident with a customer, he was yelling at me because I went to lunch before helping him and instead of letting me handle it, the ESM jumped in without really even getting a handle on what was happening. I got written up for the way I spoke to the patient and how I handled the situation with the ESM because I had stepped over to the floater pharmacist and when asked I explained the situation. She told the story as me mumbling under my breath and complaining and carrying on. The rest of the day was pretty much the same, her carrying on about how useless we were and at one point she said it was a mess and that we (the techs) would be staying after to clean it up. I was slightly irritated that she told me I had to rather than asking, especially because the mess was from the days previous, from other techs, etc. It just had been a hectic few days, with short staff. I knew how she was though so I just decided I would stay. Right before we closed, she told me she wanted to speak to me. I had assumed she was going to give us a game plan for how to clean up quickly so we could go. I went over to her after we closed and she started to tear into me for disrespecting her and then noticed I wasn’t making eye contact. It had been a long day and I was feeling really overwhelmed. She made a big deal about it and I told her I couldn’t make eye contact with her because I have a disability but assured her I was listening to her. She went back and forth with me a few times basically trying to force me to look her in the eyes or I was disrespecting her. She ended up saying that she couldn’t speak to me if I wasn’t going to look her in the eyes when she spoke to me. I took this as a dismissal, so part of my write up was for insubordination because I left and refused to have a conversation with her. I reported the incident to HR, briefly spoke with them and thought that was the end of it.
Well shortly after, she started being extremely short with me, very dramatically avoidant like when I walked in the pharmacy would say things like “that’s my cue to leave”. If she asked for help out loud, if I tried to help her she would tell me she didn’t want my help and she would get someone else. I tried not to let it bother me but it definitely stressed me out over time. The few times I did help her, she would throw whatever she was working on down and storm from the pharmacy muttering that she would tell SM about whatever, usually swearing. I asked the other managers what I was doing wrong and was never given any answers. Or guidance. I brought it up a few times and was always brushed off. That never really ended.
An important detail is that the schedule was consistently put out on Wednesdays, usually evenings and our week started on Thursdays. Our weeks run Thursdays-Wednesdays.
There were a few other small issues, I had talked to the managers about issues with scheduling and basically just got constantly brushed off. I had agreed to a general schedule of opens and mids and every other Sunday when I transferred and they weren’t able to accommodate it anymore, they started scheduling me all over the place, closes, several weekends in a row. This made childcare difficult especially with short notice because daycare has set hours. When I got my first warning about tardiness, I brought this up and was accused of blaming everyone else for my tardiness and told to have some accountability.
By this point, I dreaded going to work when the SM or ESM was there. I would get so anxious, I would be physically sick, throwing up, gastro issues, migraines. I was constantly in a state of overstimulation. Again, I asked for help and got blown off.
So in February there was an incident that led up to me requesting short term leave. My son had a minor medical issue that I took him to the doctor for, she made an appointment for the following Thursday at an eye doctor at 8:15am. I told my RXOM I couldn’t work Thursday, he ended up scheduling me to close. 12-9. I called out around 9am after getting to my son’s appointment and learning he had to do some tests for underlying issues including being dilated. He’s 3 so I needed to be with him because he was really disoriented. We finished around 4pm and my RXOM had texted me several times for updates telling me other people called out and they really needed me. I told him that my son needed me and he basically begged me to come in for a few hours to close. I finally relented and got there around 5-6 and stayed until close. No one said anything to me, so I didn’t think anything of it. A few weeks go by and on February 19, I was called into the office for a meeting with the SM and RXOM and received a write up for being 5 hours late that day. If I would have just left it as a call out, there would be no disciplinary action because I had not used any yet for the year. This was incredibly frustrating and the way it was presented was really overwhelming. I told them I was getting overwhelmed and would like to step out, the SM continued to talk down to me. I was getting increasingly agitated, my stims were getting faster and I started to rock back and forth, beginning to have an autistic meltdown. The SM told me I needed to calm down, tried to get me to speak to him while I was shutting down and just kept scolding me, I honestly don’t even know what he was saying by this point. I told the RXOM I needed to step out and I walked out of the office next door to the break room to turn on the sink and I just completely shut down, I crawled under the counter in the break room and had a complete shutdown/meltdown. My muscles locked up, I was crying and rocking back and forth and covering my ears and had my arms over my eyes, all stimulation was bothering me. The RXOM came to check on me and saw me having a meltdown and that I was unable to communicate so he pulled my file and called my emergency contact and basically just told him I was melting down and I was under the sink and needed to be picked up.
My partner came to get me, we left my car, I went home and calmed down and then called my company’s HR and put a request in for short term medical leave. My doctor had been urging me to do this for over 6 months. I texted my RXOM and SM asking what I should do next and heard nothing so I reported to work on 2/20. Upon arriving, the guest pharmacist notified me we had a call out. After everyone arrived, I asked who the call out was and the ESM, pharmacist and other techs didn’t know. The SM was not there. The RXOM wasn’t answering my texts. An hour into my shift, the RXOM told me that they were told my leave was approved and I wouldn’t be there. I asked what to do and got nothing in response.
During my lunch break on 2/20/24, I received a call on my personal phone from HR outlining my short term leave and giving me instruction on paperwork. They verified leave was supposed to start 2/19 and I explained no one answered me so I reported to work. She told me she would have to change my leave to go into effect starting 2/21.
Fast forward, my leave ends 5/8/24, and I had not heard anything beyond communication with HR about it ending. I text my RXM and tell him I am returning to work and ask what my next steps are. He replies late evening and tells me to reach out to SM and I tell him I will in the morning. The next morning, I receive a text with my name written in and highlighted, I’m not scheduled for the first few days (Thursday-Sunday) and I’m scheduled Monday-Wednesday. So I go in for my scheduled shift on 5/13/24. During my leave, my RXOM and a bunch of technicians quit. We gained a full time staff pharmacist and a couple technicians. I get there at 10:00 and I work until 12:00 (so for two hours) and I’m called into the office with the SM and RXM and told the SM told me that I received a final written warning for insubordination and tardiness so they decided to terminate my employment due to my continued insubordination and job abandonment and because a member of management complained about my attitude. He went on to say that he contacted HR and reported that I had an “episode” and walked away from him when he was trying to communicate with me and resolve a conflict which was the insubordination and then after my “episode” I went home instead of finishing my shift. Despite putting my leave in the day it happened, because the date of leave was changed, the day I left early wasn’t covered under FMLA.
So far, I have submitted a request to the EEOC, but their first available appointment was 11/4/24. I was not in a state to call lawyers today, but I filled out a couple online forms for Employment Discrimination lawyers that had online contact forms. Immediately after being terminated, I went to my car and logged into the employee portal and downloaded all of my available paystubs and the documented disciplinary action sheets. There wasn’t one for termination, I asked my SM how I would obtain that information and he told me to contact HR. I have some screenshots from text message communication mostly asking the RXOM for help with conflicts, but the SM would really only talk to me in the office.
I’m looking for advice on what to do next. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed. Obviously, I am going to work on my resume and start applying to jobs, but beyond that I’m not really sure what to do next. Any advice is appreciated. Even if it’s to tell me that I’m in the wrong. If you read my novel, thank you. <3
TLDR; I have autism and I was bullied into having a meltdown and then fired after returning from short term medical leave for going home early. I feel like they were looking for reasons to fire me as retaliation for reporting the ESM to HR.

Here are some stark stats for anyone who cares to recognize how bad things truly are. The Canadian government is running deficits to support their programs. They’re stealing tax money meant for the future and infrastructure for vanity projects like housing record numbers of asylum seekers and illegals. We have glaciers on our northern border so no one can reach us from the north, and 3 oceans on our coasts. We also have the worlds wealthiest economy as our only neighbour to the south, so it’s not Americans running across the border, and thankfully for us they have they have the most scrutinizing border patrol. I bring all of that up to say we shouldn’t have one illegal in our country. Today we somehow have record breaking amounts.
What is going on with border patrol? The entire CBSA needs to be overhauled. If we hired the Indian students protesting I think they’d do a better job, these agents let in thousands of people with fake paperwork. They’re sleeping at the wheel. Now what has been the result of things.
According to the national post we have more than 150,000 pending asylum claims. Many of which are being housed in hotels with our money. Free food, toiletries, diapers etc etc. Meanwhile actual Canadians are told to penny pinch. Ok that’s fine I can be empathetic to 150k people fleeing persecution. Well word must have got out because in the first 3 months of 2023, I imagine the number has increased they were averaging one asylum claim from an illegal every hour. How much have we spent on these vanity projects while actual Canadians are struggling and using food banks more than ever before? We’re spending $557M annually. Over half a billion dollars to house the worlds population. It’s disgusting.
Source: https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/some-illegal-border-crossers-receive-224-in-food-accommodation-per-day
https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.7006464 (Highest amount of food bank use in Canada since they began collecting data in 1989)
https://globalnews.ca/news/9901922/canadians-family-doctor-shortage-cma-survey/amp/ (More than 5M Canadians have no family doctor)
Meanwhile actual Canadians the people the politicians are supposed to represent don’t have family doctors, are using food banks at record use, cannot afford homes in the cities they work in, are living with their parents into their adult years making 80-100k a year. Don’t get me started on the Indian students who are INDIANS saying give us PR and citizenship. There are only two winners in all of this entitled illegal foreigners (get free handouts) and the oligarchs of Canada (cheap labour). There’s no benefit to any of the rest of us. Todays protesting Indians telling us they will go on hunger strikes if they don’t get PR will be tomorrows protestors threatening hunger strikes if they can’t get UBI as AI takes over low skilled positions.
The quicker we deport them the better. Back to Panjab province, Mexico and anywhere else illegals are coming from. If you can’t benefit our society with the things we need (doctors, nurses, construction workers) you have to leave. We need to take care of home first. That means Canadians first everyone second. I’m all for exceptional skilled immigration (Doctors, nurses) who can get licensed here. Uber drivers, fast food workers they all need to go.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

Hi all. Just joined the group. I am wondering if anyone else has this similar ‘symptom’…
Basically my entire life I’ve been avoidant of repetitive tasks. When I need to do something the same way repetitively I struggle to do so. My brain will force me to do it in a different way (to get to the same or similar result).
Examples:
Signature - extremely inconsistent (common) 10 min Drive to work - I vary each day If I write a small text or email and it deletes, I’ll write it differently the second time.
My actual job for most of my life has been Graphic Design. Non specific - all areas from branding, print, advertising, web design. This allows me to do completely new tasks for completely new clients daily. If I loose my work and need to start again, I can never repeat the same process even when I know exactly how I got there. Ill just do it a different way. When this happens, it’s the worst. I don’t care about lost time or $. Just having to do the same thing again.
Then this seems to have impacted me in basically learning new specific things. Learning requires a lot of repetition. I am a designer who can not draw/illustrate/paint. The idea of doing hours of the same drawing or painting process is the put off. I’ve managed to get around this for 10 years.
I also make music and have for over 10 years with some small successes. However it is hip hop / electronic. Which had allowed me to not learn how to read or play music but able to be fully creative in the space. I also do the vocals which is more free flowing creativity but very much struggle to remember lyrics during live shows as that requires a lot of repetitive learning.
I often feel trapped or blocked by something prohibiting me to learn specific things that would clearly benefit my interests. I’ve built some kind of life around my adverseness to repeating against my own better good.
Worth noting I have only just discovered Adult ADHD fits a lot of my other symptoms and am in the process of getting an official diagnosis.
Wondering if anyone else gets this or has any further insight?

So I’ve worked for Starbucks for around 3 and half to four years I left the company for a little bit then decided to come back. But I’ve been a supervisor for the majority of my time working here. And don’t get me wrong I’m not some corporate boot licker who idolizes people above me or who thinks CEOs and billionaires are good people. But I honestly think that our job could be hell of lot worse. Are we short staffed yes, do we deal with some of the most irritable people yes, it’s it stressful yes, but like honestly we just make coffee. At least in California shifts pay start at around 24-26 depending on the district and baristas make 20-22 which tbh is kind of a lot of money IMO for what we do. So people out of collage with degrees don’t even make that much. We get free school, benefits, 401k, all that stuff some full time jobs don’t get the benefits that we do. Does the job suck yea but I think when comparing to like construction workers who make 18 an hour - I’ve work in the field for a good amount of time so I’m speaking from experience- I’d rather make coffee than do that for sure. I just think it could be a lot worse.

Below, I will present to you selected verses from The Atthakavagga, the book of eights, among the first historical written teachings of Gautama Buddha.
You will see that these verses have share many similarities with Zen and few with Buddhism. I propose that Zen Master Buddha likely gave out expedients that quickly became codified into a religion with rights, incantantions and mental exercises. This is why he made an example of mahakashyapa’s enlightenment. This transmission was the only one not swallowed up by the religion beginning to form.
Without further ado, the textual evidence:
Suddhatthaka Sutta
“No true Sage speaks of purity in terms of something other. Or in terms of virtue, religious observances, or what is seen, heard or thought out. Merit and evil do not adhere to someone who has left behind what’s grasped, who doesn’t make up anything here…
True sages who’ve crossed the boundaries, wouldn’t grasp anything they can know or see in the world. Neither passionate for passion nor obsessed by dispassion. There is nothing here to grasp as superior”
Paramatthaka Sutta
“Letting go of what is taken up, the person free of grasping doesn’t depend on knowledge, or take sides when factions disagree, or fall back on any kind of view. One not inclined to either side, to becoming or nonbecoming, to here or the next world, there exists nothing to get entrenched in when considering the doctrines others grasp. Here, one does not conceive the slightest concept in regard to what is seen, heard or thought. How, in this world, could one categorize the sage who does not take hold of views. One does not construct, prefer or take up any doctrine. A true sage not led by precepts or religious practices, who has gone beyond, does not fall back on belief, is one who is thus.”
Jara Sutta
“Independent everywhere, sages make nothing cherished or not cherished. Despair and selfishness don’t stick to them as water doesn’t stick to a leaf. As a drop doesn’t stick to a leaf or water to a lotus petal, so what is seen, heard or thought doesn’t stick to a sage. By being without passion and dispassion, those who are cleansed don’t ruminate about what is seen, heard or thought out, nor do they wish for purity through anything else.”
Magandiya Sutta
“Whatever one should live detached from, the mighty one neither grasps nor disputes. Just as a lotus grows in water unsullied by water and mud, so a sage without greed, who advocates peace, is unsullied by sensuality and the world. Those who know don’t become proud in regard to views or what is thought out. They are not influenced by action or by learning; they don’t end up entrenched. Someone freed from concepts has no ties, someone freed by wisdom has no delusions. Those who grasp at concepts and views clash as they walk through the world.”
Kalahavivada Sutta
“Appearances disappear when not conceiving concepts, not conceiving false concepts, not nonconceiving, and not conceiving disappearance. This is because conceiving is the basis of conceptual differentiation.”
Tuvataka Sutta
“Let them completely destroy the root of conceptual differentiation. That is, the idea ‘I am the thinker’… They shouldn’t get entrenched in any teachings they know, whether their own or that of others. Good people say that being entrenched is not release. They would not, because of this, think themselves better, worse, or equal to others. Experiencing many things, they don’t take a stand in thoughts of themselves.”

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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Planet	Period
Jupiter (Fruitful)	05:36 AM - 06:41 AM
Mars (Aggressive)	06:41 AM - 07:47 AM
Sun (Vigorous)	07:47 AM - 08:53 AM
Venus (Beneficial)	08:53 AM - 09:58 AM
Mercury (Quick)	09:58 AM - 11:04 AM
Moon (Gentle)	11:04 AM - 12:10 PM
Saturn (Sluggish)	12:10 PM - 01:15 PM
Jupiter (Fruitful)	01:15 PM - 02:21 PM
Mars (Aggressive)	02:21 PM - 03:27 PM
Sun (Vigorous)	03:27 PM - 04:32 PM
Venus (Beneficial)	04:32 PM - 05:38 PM
Mercury (Quick)	05:38 PM - 06:44 PM

What is Hora?

Hora Chakra can be used to find suitable timings. Hora, derived from the Sanskrit term अहोरात्र, represents the duration between two sunrises. The concept of Hora is also present in Spanish, where it means time. There are seven distinct Hora, which rotate in a fixed cycle, making up 24 Hora in a day and night. This system helps individuals choose a favorable Muhurta or a period.

The seven Hora are associated with specific activities and gemstones:

1. Sun Hora (Surya Hora): Ideal for political work, court dealings, and government jobs. Most effective on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Good for wearing Manik (ruby) jewel.
2. Venus Hora (Shukra Hora): Recommended for love, romance, and artistic activities. Most effective on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Good for wearing Opal or diamond.
3. Mercury Hora (Budha Hora): Suitable for education, learning, and travel. Most effective on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Good for wearing Panna (emerald) jewel.
4. Moon Hora (Chandra Hora): Appropriate for most activities, especially gardening, food, and feminine work. Most effective on Monday and Thursday. Good for wearing Moti (pearl).
5. Saturn Hora (Shani Hora): Recommended for activities involving oil, lead, glass, and iron, but not for tasks requiring speed. Most effective on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Good for wearing Neelam (sapphire) and Gomed (hessonite) jewels.
6. Jupiter Hora (Guru Hora): Suitable for most auspicious activities, financial tasks, and spiritual activities. Most effective on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Good for wearing Pukharaj (yellow sapphire) jewel.
7. Mars Hora (Mangal Hora): Ideal for bravery, sports, and construction work. Most effective on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Good for wearing Moonga (red coral) and Lahasuniya (cat's eye) jewels.

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