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2009.01.21 20:01 Sneakerheads Unite!

A subreddit for sneaker lovers.
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2015.04.11 11:11 Clackpot StupidFood : Food. Point. Laugh.

A place to lambast idiotic methods of serving food, or any other epicurean inanity worthy of ridicule.
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2017.03.14 21:37 panspal People who actively act like a piece of shit

A place to post screenshots or gifs of people acting like a piece of shit. The worst of the worst, people who you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.
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2024.05.14 00:00 ClaimSalt1697 A MASTER LIST of real world tie-ins to ACOTAR: Part 1—Characters & Courts ✨🌙

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⚠️ WARNING: Maasverse Spoilers—Proceed with Caution ⚠️

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Part 1: Characters and Courts - YOU ARE HERE
Part 2: World Map, Items, Terms & Other

Well, here we go. A master list of all things ACOTAR + the "real" world.

I was a while into the series before I realized how well-versed ACOTAR is with our own world. So many parallels to not only names and their meanings, but dozens of tie-ins to various mythologies, folklore, and ancient/modern regions across the globe.
Look, I (mostly) enjoyed SJM's series from the start, but when this little factoid revealed itself—I was a goner. Hidden contextual cleverness, especially relating to ancient European folklore and mythology, will win me over every time.
Now, do I believe every single name and location on this list was chosen by SJM with a specific real-world allusion in mind? Of course not. But when you look at the similarities, you'd be hard pressed to deny some of their very probable relations.
As far as this list goes, I've provided what was within my ability to find—coupling each with that which made the most sense relationally—though several definitions would appear to have zero connection to the story at large.
I can't promise perfection or a full, exhaustive list of every single character, object, term, and/or mention. Heck, I can't even promise 100% accuracy with what is provided, though I did cross-reference the more obscure sources. But what I hope, is that you find something new and delightful to a beloved series you hadn't realized before. Little tidbits and morsels that make these kinds of connections all the more exciting. And I will gladly (delightedly . . . exuberantly!) welcome any missing pieces and/or additional insight you may have.
\Note: If a character or place/item is minor enough, I've included a reminder of their role in the books.*

SO. Come on, friends. Let's dive on in.

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UK + IRELAND

PRYTHIAN
A combination of Prydain, the old Welsh name for Britain, and Brython, which translates to “Ancient Britons” from Welsh.
HYBERN
A riff of Hibernia, the Classical Latin name for Ireland.

Artist of Prythian map: P-dulcis on redbubble

*A continuing list of world map related locations is provided in Part 2 of this post (see link above)


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MAIN CHARACTERS

RHYSAND
Rhys (also Rhŷs), used as both a forename and surname, is Welsh in origin and means "ardent, enthusiasm." It has deep roots in Welsh culture and is the name of several famous Welsh kings and noblemen, including Rhys ap Thomas, a Welsh soldier and landholder who rose to prominence during the Wars of the Roses.
FEYRE ARCHERON
Feyre, a variant of Fayre, is Old English in origin and means "fair, beautiful." Similar connections lie in Freyja (also spelled Freya) which is a name of Old Norse origin and means "Lady," denoting a woman of nobility. Freyja is a goddess in Norse mythology, associated with love and beauty, fertility and sex, and war and seiðr (magic for seeing and influencing the future).
In Greek mythology, Archeron is one of the five rivers of the Underworld—the River of Woe or River of Misery. It is often deemed the principal river where Charon ferried the souls of the dead.
CASSIAN
Cassian is of Latin and Irish origin and means "son of Cassius" and refers to one of the oldest families in Rome. Arguably the most well-known Cassius was the Roman senator best known as a leading instigator of the assassination plot of Julius Caesar.
AZRIEL
Azriel is of Hebrew origin meaning "God is my help." In some religious, Azrael is the benevolent angel of death who carries souls of the deceased to the afterlife.
MORRIGAN
The Morrígan is a renowned Celtic goddess associated with war and fate. Her name has been translated to mean "great queen" or "phantom queen." She has been seen as a manifestation of the earth- and sovereignty-goddess, representing the role as guardian of the territory and its people.
AMREN
Amren is said to be a twist on Amram, which is of Hebrew origin and means "exalted people" and is the Biblical name of Moses' father. Note: This is in line with Amren being able to interpret The Book of Breathings, which is a twist on The Books of Breathing, a collection of several real-world ancient Egyptian funerary texts.
NESTA ARCHERON
Nesta is the Welsh version of Agnes, which means "pure or holy." May also have potential connections with Nestor, a legendary king in Greece, who was known as a great warrior and for the wise advice he offered to younger soldiers.
In Greek mythology, Archeron is one of the five rivers of the Underworld—the River of Woe or River of Misery. It is often deemed the principal river where Charon ferried the souls of the dead.
ELAIN ARCHERON
Elain is Welsh in origin and translates to "fawn." Elaine, associated with the Greek name Helen, means "light" or "bright one."
In Greek mythology, Archeron is one of the five rivers of the Underworld—the River of Woe or River of Misery. It is often deemed the principle river where Charon ferried the souls of the dead.
Fun fact: Elain is an anagram of "Aelin."
NYX
Nyx is the Greek mythological goddess and personification of the Night. She is the offspring of Chaos and the Mother of Day (Hemera) and Darkness (Erebus). She lies at the ends of the Earth, and is often described as a black-robed goddess who drives through the sky in a chariot pulled by horses. In ancient Greek art, she often appears alongside other celestial deities such as Selene, Helios, and Eos.

ILLYRIAN CHARACTERS

EMERIE
Emerie means "home strength," "brave," and "powerful" in Old German.
ENALIUS
Likely from Enyalius/Enyalios, who, in Greek mythology, was a son of Ares, but was also a byname for the god of war. Enyalius is often seen as the god of soldiers and warriors from the Ares cult.
DEVLON
Devlon is Irish and Gaelic in origin, related to the name Devlin, and means "fierce courage."
BALTHAZAR
Balthazar is Akkadian in origin meaning "God protects the King." Commonly attributed to the wise man who gifted myrrh to the Christ child, which symbolized the future death of a king. It is an alternate form of King Belshazzar, who played a pivotal role in a coup d'état that overthrew a Neo-Babylonion king.
ACOTAR role: Balthazar is an Illyrian who aided Nesta in the Blood Rite.
PROTEUS
Proteus is an early prophetic sea god in Greek mythology. His name comes from the adjective protean, meaning "versatile," "mutable," or "capable of assuming many forms." He is generally regarded as the son of the sea-god Poseidon.
ACOTAR role: Proteus is Emerie's abusive father who was slain during the War with Hybern.
BELLIUS
Bellius may refer to Belus, the Babylonian god of war.
ACOTAR role: Bellius is Emerie's cousin who was killed by Cassian in the Blood Rite.
KALLON
No clear references found, but kalon in Ancient Greek translates to "ideal perfect beauty in the physical and moral sense" and kalon kakon refers to the first created woman as a "beautiful-evil thing."
ACOTAR role: Kallon stirred animosity towards the Night Court leaders after the War with Hybern and was ultimately killed during the Blood Rite.

HEWN CITY CHARACTERS

KEIR
Keir is a Gaelic name meaning "dark" and is related to the Irish name Ciarán meaning "little dark one" or "little dark-haired one." In Greek mythology, the Keres—the singular form being Ker—were female death spirits who personified violent death. There is a suggested connection between the Keres and the Valkyries of Norse mythology, each representing opposite ideals; the Valkyries being benevolent deities in death versus the Keres being feasting destruction.
THANATOS
Thanatos was the personification of death in Greek mythology. He is a minor figure, often referred to but rarely appearing in person (I see what you did there, SJM).
ACOTAR role: Thanatos is a High Fae lord who lives in the Hewn City. Keir briefly mentions Thanatos before leaving the meeting where Eris strikes an alliance with the Night Court.

LIBRARY CHARACTERS

CLOTHO
Clotho is the youngest goddess of the Three Fates in ancient Greek mythology, who spins the thread of human life. The name can mean "spinner."
MERRILL
Merrill is of British origin and means "sparking sea" or "sea-bright."
GWYNETH BERDARA
Gwyneth is of Welsh origin and means "blessed" and "happiness." In Irish mythology, the Lady Gwyn is a headless woman (Catrin, anyone?) dressed in white who chases wanderers at night. In Arthurian mythology, Guinevere had an evil half-sister—the "False Guinevere"—who bewitches Arthur and turns him against the real Guinevere.
The Berdara surname is found in Indonesia and roughly translates to "bloody."
ANANKE
Ananke is of Greek origin and means "necessity" or "fate personified." In Greek mythology, she is one of the primordial deities, considered to be the most powerful dictator of fate and circumstance, and is the personification of necessity and inevitability.
ACOTAR role: Ananke is a priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.
DEIRDRE
Deirdre is of Irish and Gaelic origin and means "broken-hearted," "sorrowful," or "wanderer." The name is also associated with a tragic heroine in Irish mythology.
ACOTAR role: Deirdre is a priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.
ILANA
Illana is of Hebrew origin and means "tree" or "bright light." If related to the name Ileana, she is connected to various mythologies describing a beautiful young female fairy. Ileana also stems from the name Elena.
ACOTAR role: Ilana is a priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.
LORELEI
Lorelei is of German origin and means "alluring, temptress." In German folklore, she was a siren-type seductress that led sailors to hazardous rocks.
ACOTAR role: Lorelai is a priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.
ROSLIN
Roslin is Scottish in origin and means "rose" and "red-haired."
ACOTAR role: Roslin is a priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.
RIVEN
Riven derives from Old Norse meaning "to split, tear apart."
ACOTAR Role: Riven is a Priestess who is uncomfortable with strangers and whose background is unknown.

SIDE CHARACTERS

MADJA
Majda is of Slavic origin and may mean "splendid, noble one." In Arabic, it means "the woman with glory." It is related to the name Madeleine, which is Greek in Origin and means "from Magdala"
NUALA
Nuala is of Irish origin and means "fair shouldered one." In modern Irish storytelling, it means "born of the sea." It is considered a diminutive form of the name Fionnuala, a mythological figure of Irish mythology who was the daughter of a sea god.
CERRIDWEN
Ceridwen was an enchantress in Welsh mythology. Welsh poetry refers to her as possessing the cauldron of poetic inspiration and is regarded by many as the Celtic goddess of rebirth, transformation, and inspiration.
RITA
Rita stems from the name Margarita and in Latin comes from the Greek word meaning "pearl." It has been claimed that the Greeks promoted pearls as a symbol of honesty and integrity. In Greek mythology they are said to be the tears of Aphrodite, the goddess of love.
SEVENDA
No clear connection found, though venda in Latin means "sell", sev means "strew, scatter, spread," and enda means "end." Could also somehow be related to the number seven.
ACOTAR role: Sevenda owns a restaurant in Velaris the Inner Circle frequents.
NEVE
Neve is of Latin and Irish origins and means "snow."
ACOTAR role: Neve is the jeweler in Velaris from whom Rhys buys Amren her jewelry in A Court of Frost and Starlight.
POLINA
Polina has Latin origins and is derived from the name Apollo, though it could also be seen as a variant of Paulina, a feminine form of Paul, meaning "little" or "the younger."
ACOTAR role: Polina owned Feyre's studio before her death during Hybern's attack in Velaris.
RESSINA
Resin comes from the Latin word resina, which derives from the Greek word for "resin of the pine." Plants secrete resins for the protective benefits in response to injury, protecting them from insects and pathogens (conjures an image of Ressina standing outside her shop, protecting the terrified fae huddled inside from a group of Hybern soldiers).
ACOTAR role: Ressina is a lesser-faerie resident of Velaris who opens an art studio with Feyre.
ARANEA
Aranea is of Ancient Greek origin and denotes a genus of orb-weaving spiders.
Fun fact: Aranea is one of Charlotte's daughters in Charlotte's Web.
ACOTAR role: Aranea is a High Fae in Velaris, a weaver (get it? orb-weaving spiders?) who creates the Void cloth used in a tapestry Feyre ultimately purchases.
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MAIN CHARACTERS

TAMLIN
From "The Ballad of Tam Lin," a legendary ballad from the borderlands of Scotland.
Reminiscent of the fairytale Beauty & the Beast, where a mortal woman encounters a man in a forbidden forest after plucking a rose. She finds herself pregnant, seeks him out again, and learns he is captive to the faeries. To save him, she must hold onto him as he is transformed into a variety of beasts or other types of danger. After his rescue, the Queen of the Faeries laments that she should have taken out his eyes (Lucien, anyone?) or captured his heart (Tamlin's stone heart, to be specific) to prevent his escape.
LUCIEN
Lucien is French in origin and means "light," and Lucian of Samosata was a Hellenized Syrian satirist, rhetorician, and pamphleteer who was best-known for his tongue-in-cheek style. The majority of his extant works are written in Ancient Greek. He is the inventor of the comic dialogue genre.
ALIS
Alis is of German, French, and English origin. Translates to "noble."

SIDE CHARACTERS

IANTHE
Ianthe is Greek in origin and means "she who delights." In Greek mythology, she was one of the 3,000 water-nymph daughters of Oceanus and was one of the companions of Persephone when abducted by Hades.
ANDRAS
Andras has Greek and Hungarian roots and means "man", or "warrior." In Welsh, it means "manly" and "brave."
BRON
Bron is Old English and Dutch in origin and means "brown" or "spring/water source."
ACOTAR role: Bron is one of Tamlin's named sentinels.
HART
Hart is an Anglicized version of an Irish name meaning "hero," "brave," and "firm." A hart is also a male deer. In Celtic mythology, the white hart is said to be a messenger from the otherworld and would appear when one was transgressing a taboo (Tamlin's punishing of his sentry seems taboo enough to me).
ACOTAR role: Hart is one of Tamlin's named sentinels.
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MAIN CHARACTERS

BERON VANSERRA
Beron is French/South German in origin and is a pet form of the name Bero, meaning "bear."
Vanserra is a combination of the prefix Van, meaning "from" or "of," and Serra, meaning "saw/a view from a high place" in Latin or "mountain range" in Catalan/Portugues/Galician. Vanserra can be said to mean "of the mountain range."
ERIS VANSERRA
Eris is a feminine name of Greek origin and means "strife." In Ancient Greek mythology, Eris was the greek goddess of strife and discord. Her Roman equivalent, Discordia, was seen as the goddess of chaos. She has been associated with the war-goddess Enyo, who is frequently associated with the war-god Ares.
Vanserra is a combination of the prefix Van, meaning "from" or "of," and Serra, meaning "saw/a view from a high place" in Latin or "mountain range" in Catalan/Portugues/Galician. Vanserra can be said to mean "of the mountain range."

SIDE CHARACTERS

JESMINDA
Jesminder is Indian in origin and means "queen of flower."
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MAIN CHARACTERS

TARQUIN
Tarquin is of Latin origin and means "Ancient Roman ruler" or "strong soldier." Two of the seven legendary kings of Rome bear the name Tarquinius and were known as Tarquin the Elder and Tarquin the Proud.
VARIAN
Varian is of Latin origin and means "variable."
CRESSEIDA
Cressida means "golden" and is derived from the name Chryseis. She is a character associated with the Trojan war who becomes the archetype of a faithless lover.

SIDE CHARACTERS

NOSTRUS
Nostrum comes from the Latin noster, meaning "our" or "ours." Nostos is a theme in Ancient Greek literature, including an epic hero returning home, often by sea. It was deemed a high level of heroism or greatness. It is not only about returning home physically, but focuses on the hero retaining or elevating their identity and resisting temptation.
ACOTAR role: Nostrus was Tarquin's predecessor; the High Lord of the Summer Court killed by Amarantha at the beginning of her reign Under the Mountain. He participated in an attempted rebellion and he and his entire family were slain.
BRUTIUS
Brutius may refer to the Latin name Brutus meaning "heavy/dull."
ACOTAR role: Brutius was Tarquin's cousin who attempted an escape Under the Mountain with plans for rebellion before being mercifully killed by Rhysand.
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MAIN CHARACTERS

HELION
Helios is the Ancient Greek god who personifies the Sun. He is often depicted with a solar crown and drives a horse-drawn chariot through the sky. He was a guardian of oaths and the god of sight and played a significant role in ancient magic and spells. He is often described as the son of the Titans Hyperion and Theia, and is brother of the goddesses Selene (the moon) and Eos (the dawn).
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MAIN CHARACTERS

KALLIAS
Callias is of Greek origin and means "beauty" or "beautiful voice." Callias II was an Ancient Greek statesman, solider, and diplomat and was one of the richest men in Athens.
VIVIANNE
Vivienne derives from the French Viviana, meaning "lively," and comes from the Latin word Vivianus meaning "alive." It is commonly associated with the Irish name Bébinn meaning "beautiful or fair woman" and is also the name of an underworld goddess in both Irish and Welsh mythology.
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THESAN
Thesan is the Etruscan goddess of the dawn, divination, and childbirth and was associated with the generation of Life. Greeks identified her with Eos, the goddess and personification of the Dawn. She was sometimes depicted bearing a pair of wings on her back.
NUAN
Nuan is Mandarin in origin and means "warm, genial."
ACOTAR role: Nuan is the creator of Lucien's metal eye.
THE PEREGRYN
The peregrine is a large crow-sized falcon renowned for its speed.
Fun fact: The peregrine falcon is the fastest member of the animal kingdom and can reach speeds of over 200mph during its high-speed hunting dive.
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AMARANTHA
Amarantha is of Greek origin and means "unfading." The Amaranthus flower is said to symbolize immortality as it blooms for so long and is often deep red in color.
BRANNAGH
Brannagh is of Irish origin, comes from the word bran meaning "raven," and denotes a "beautiful female with hair as dark as a raven."
DAGDAN
The Dagda is considered the chief god of the Tuatha Dé Danaan in Irish mythology. His name can mean "the good god" or "the great god."
CLYTHIA
Likely refers to Clytia/Clytie, a water nymph from Greek mythology who loved the sun god Helios in vain. Helios left her for another woman, a princess, under the influence of Aphrodite. Clytia revealed the affair to the princesses' daughter, but eventually lost herself as a violet flower in mourning for Helios's love. Her name means "glorious" or "renowned."
ACOTAR role: Clythia is Amarantha's sister who fell for Jurian's ploy as a lover.
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HISTORICAL FIGURES

THEIA
Theia is of Greek origin and means "goddess, godly." Theia is one of the twelve Titans and is the Greek goddess of sight and vision. With her brother-consort, she is a parent of Helios (the Sun), Selene (the Moon), and Eos (the Dawn). She is most known not for her own role, but for that of her children's.
SILENE
Selene is the goddess and personification of the moon, daughter of the Titans Hyperion and Theia, and sister of the sun god Helios and dawn goddess Eos.
HELENA
Helene comes from the Greek name Helen and means "shining light." Helen of Troy was of Greek mythology and said to be the most beautiful women in all the world, her abduction being the start of the Trojan War; Helen was a figure in Greek mythology who was a friend of Aphrodite and helped her seduce Adonis; and there was an Amazonian Helene who fought Achilles and died after she was seriously wounded by him.
Fun fact: Variants of Helene include Elena.
FIONN
Fionn is of Irish origin and means "fair-haired." In Irish folklore, Fionn Mac Cumhaill was a mythological hero was a leader of a band of young roving hunter-warriors who acquired immense amounts of wisdom by catching the "fish of knowledge."
PELIAS
Pelias is Greek in origin and means "rock pigeon." In Greek mythology, Pelias was the king of Iolcus who sent Jason on the quest for the Golden Fleece and was father to Medusa. Separately, Peleus was the king of Phthia, husband of Thetis, and father to Achilles. Peleus left several dead (men and women) in his wake, through means of both accident and betrayal, and fled more than once to escape punishment.
OLEANNA
Oleanna is from the Greek name Helene meaning "sun ray" or "shining light."
Fun fact: Additional variants of Helene include Elena.
ACOTAR role: Oleanna is the High Priestess who created Gwydion and imbued its powers by dipping it into the Cauldron.

REPORTED DECEASED

CATRIN BERDARA
Catrin is of Greek origin and means "clean," "clear," or "pure." Commonly used in Wales. Connected with the ancient goddess Hecate. Hecate is the goddess of magic, crossroads, witchcraft, sorcery, ghosts, and necromancy.
The Berdara surname is found in Indonesia and roughly translates to "bloody."

MINOR CHARACTERS

TANWYN
Tanwyn, with the feminine form Tanwen, is of Welsh origin and means "white fire."
ACOTAR role: Tanwyn was a Valkyrie and Cassian's former lover who was slain in the War.
OSIAN
Osian is Welsh, meaning "young deer" and is derived from the Irish legendary poet and warrior Oisín. Oisín was regarded as the greatest poet of Ireland, a warrior of the Fianna (small warrior-hunter bands), and a demigod son of Fionn Mac Cumhaill and Sadhbh.
ACOTAR role: Osian is the author of A Brief History of the Great Sieges, a book Nesta requests from the House of Wind.
RABATH
Rabath is an anagram of Bharat, one of the names from India derived from the Sanskrit word bharata meaning "to bear, carry, to be maintained," specifically of fire. It also can mean "one who is engaged in search of knowledge."
ACOTAR role: Rabath, aka Lord of the Western Wind, is an ancestor of the priestess Merrill.
Fun fact: In Greek mythology, Zephyrus is the god and personification of the West wind.
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JURIAN
Jurian is Greek in origin and means "farmer, earthworker."
GRAYSEN
Graysen is of English origin and translates to "son of the steward" or "son of the gray-haired man."
NOLAN
Nolan is of Irish origin and denotes "a child of nobility" or "champions."
ACOTAR role: Nolan is Graysen's father.
ISAAC HALE
Isaac is Hebrew in origin and means "one who laughs or rejoices".
Hale is Old English in origin and, as a surname, denoted someone who lived in a hollow or nook.
TOMAS MANDRAY
Tomas is Aramaic in origin meaning "twin."
Maynard is a compound of the Old German words for "hardy" and "strength."
CLARE BEDDOR
Clare is of French origin and means "bright" or "clear."'
Beddor, no information found.
AUNT RIPLEIGH
Ripleigh is an Old English name meaning "shouting man's meadow" and is related to the name "Ripley" meaning "strip of clearing in the woods" or "striped meadow."
ACOTAR role: Aunt Ripleigh is the invented aunt Feyre cares for in ACOTAR.
Ms. Laurent
Laurent is a French name of Latin origin and means "from Laurentum" and "bay laurel." It can also be derived from Old Greek, meaning "the bright one, the shining one."
ACOTAR role: Ms. Laurent is the house-keeper of the mortal Archeron Estate.
BRIAR
Briar is of British origin and means "thorny bush of wild roses" or "brambles."
ACOTAR role: Briar is the human girl saved by Azriel and Feyre when rescuing Elain from the Cauldron.
URSTIN
No plausible connections found. Potentially an anagram for Rustin, an English name meaning "Rust's estate," or Surtin, a Middle English name meaning "reliable, trustworthy."
ACOTAR role: Urstin is a cousin to the Archerons via their mother who lives on the Continent. Nesta's pleas to Urstin for financial aid after their mother died went unanswered.
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HUMAN QUEENS

VASSA
Vasilissa is of Greek origin and means "queen" or "empress." Vasilissa is also the name of a chid martyr who, according to legend, was tortured with fire and wild beasts. She remained faithful to Christ, was left unharmed, but after her release was slain in a field as she prayed.
BRIALLYN
Briallen is primarily of Welsh origin and means "primrose." Primrose comes from the Latin word meaning "first" and the primrose flower often represents youth and renewal (SJM, you dog—this may be my favorite tongue-in-cheek naming thing you did).
ACOTAR role: Briallyn was the first queen to be dunked in the Cauldron and was subsequently withered into an immortal old woman.
DEMETRA
Demetra is Greek in origin and means "follower of Demeter." Demeter was the Ancient Greek goddess of the harvest, an emblem of growth, nature, and the fertility of the earth, and the mother of Persephone.
ACOTAR role: Demetra is the golden queen who provided the queens' half of the Book of Breathings and was impaled by the Attor in Velaris.
ANDROMACHE
Andromache means "fighter of men" and is Greek in origin. In Greek mythology she was first the wife of Hector and was famous for her virtue and fidelity. She is representative of the suffering of Trojan women during the war. Andromache was also the name of a famous Greek Amazon who fell at Troy. An ancient bust depicts her fighting Heracles.
ACOTAR role: Andromache was a human queen and Mor's lover.

FAE CHARACTERS

DRAKON
Drakon is of Greek origin and means "dragon."
NEPHELLE
Nephele, meaning "cloud, mass of clouds," is a cloud nymph in Greek mythology and is considered the cloud goddess of hospitality, generosity, loyalty, peace and shyness.
THE SERAPHIM
A seraph is a celestial/heavenly being, regarded as belonging to the highest order of the angels in Christian angelology and fifth of ten in the Jewish angelic hierarchy.

HUMAN CHARACTERS

MIRYAM
Miryam/Miriam is of Hebrew origin and means "sea of bitterness" or "sea of sorrow." In the Bible, she is the daughter of Amram and Jochebed and the sister of Aaron and Moses.
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MAIN CHARACTERS

THE SURIEL
Suriel is a Hebrew name meaning "God's prince" and "divine authority." Could also reference Sariel, an angel from Judaic tradition who is one of seven holy angels. He is considered to be a primordial power is invoked for his protective powers.
ATTOR
Possibly an altered form of the German "Tatter" meaning "goblin" or "puppet." As an Anglo-Saxon name, it means "venom."
Likely based off the Ahool/Athol, a winged bat or cryptid-like creature said to originate from the jungles of Indonesia.

DEATH GODS

THE BONE CARVER
Self-explanatory, folks.
STRYGA AKA THE WEAVER
Strzyga is a female demon in Slavic mythology similar to a vampire, stemming from the mythological Strix in Ancient Greece, who were birds of ill omen that fed on human flesh and blood, but also referred to witches and other evil folkloric creatures.
KOSCHEI
Koschei is a common villain in East Slavic tales. He is often given the epithet of "the Immortal" or "the Deathless." Many tales insinuate he "hides" his death inside nested objects to protect it. He is considered the parallel male figure of Baby Yaga. He often takes the role of a malevolent rival figure who competes —or entraps—a male hero's love interest.
Fun fact: In Silver Flames, Koschei captures Eris and speaks in the singular 'you' (this is noted in translation for foreign editions) to Azriel when he claims, "I spent so many months preparing for you." To go down that crackpot theory post, click HERE.

PRISON INMATES

BRYAXIS
Bryaxis was a famous Ancient Greek sculptor who is known for his creation of sculptures on the mausoleum of Maussollos. The name may mean "delight" or "lust."
LANTHYS
No information/connections found (I know, it's killing me, too—there's got to be SOMETHING).
LUBIA
The lubia/ljubi is a water and storm demon in Albanian mythology, usually depicted as a large multi-headed (anywhere from 7 to 100 heads) female serpentine dragon. She causes waters to dry up unless a virgin is sacrificed to her; her irresistible taste for flesh leans towards that of little girls.
ACOTAR role: Seven-headed Lubia is a creature who preys on females. Cassian banishes her to the Prison.
ANNIS
The Black Annis is a bogeyman in English folklore. She is depicted as a blue-faced witch or hag, has iron claws, and has a taste for human flesh, especially that of children.
ACOTAR role: Annis aka Blue Annis is one of the creatures Cassian imprisons in the Prison. Cassian has a thick scar on his left chest from her.
VESPERUS
In Greek mythology, Hesperus is the Evening Star, her Roman equivalent being named Vesper.
ACOTAR role: Vesperus is the female Daglan/Asteri Bryce, Azriel, and Nesta discover beneath the Prison in House of Flame and Shadows.

MINOR CHARACTERS

MIDDENGARD WYRM
Midgard is the Middle Earth, the body of mankind in Norse mythology. It is the realm of human beings—ie, Earth.
Wrym is an Old English variant of the word used to refer to dragons with 'wormlike' qualities (long body, legless or with small legs). The word derives from the Old Norse word 'ormr' which referred to Germanic dragons/worms.
THE BOGGE
Bogge is a Middle English word meaning "frightening spectre," from which the term bogeyman originated. Bogeymen have no specific appearance and conceptions vary drastically by culture.
Fun fact: The term bogeyman is related to the boggart, another supernatural being from English folklore, and is 'a generic name for an apparition' of 'any ambivalent or evil' spirit (Harry Potter facts, yo).
NAGA
Throughout various Asian religious traditions, nagas are a divine/semi-diving race of half-human, half-serpent beings that reside in the netherworld.
Fun fact: A female naga is called a Nagi or a Nagini (more HP facts).
MARTAX
Likely references a manticore, a Persian mythological creature similar to the Egyptian sphinx that was also largely present in Western Medieval art. The mercenary in ACOTAR Ch 3 describes it with a "body big as a bear's, head something like a lion's—and three rows of teeth sharper than a shark's." A manticore has the body of a lion, head of a man, tail of a scorpion, and eats its victims whole with three rows of teeth. The term "manticore" descends via Latin from Ancient Greek.
PUCA
Púca is Irish for "spirit" or "ghost, while puca is Old English for "goblin". They were said to be shape-changers that could take the shapes of various animals and even men.

https://preview.redd.it/saqpma3dc90d1.png?width=840&format=png&auto=webp&s=09ab0ee2ab74fb6a19ab05b5021ce3de87e60b82
MEALLAN
Meallán is of Irish origin and means "small pleasant one."
ACOTAR role: Meallan is Helion's black pegasus.
ELLIA
Ellia is of various origins but can translate to "other" or "beauty fairy maiden" with hints of the "Otherworld."
ACOTAR role: Ellia is Morrigan's horse in A Court of Frost and Starlight.
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For Part 2: World Map, Items, Terms & Other, click HERE
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2024.05.13 23:55 EcstaticWelcome7722 My room is next to the bathroom

Okay, so let's get the obvious out of the way. Everyone shits and showers, and I'm totally fine with that. I also acknowledge that when you have roommates, not everyone is going to have the same schedule, and therefore people are going to be doing things at inconvenient times possibly waking me up. I often get woken up by people trampling up the stairs or slamming doors/cupboards when I'm already asleep. I don't complain about these noises because they are "reasonable" sounds that occur when other people exist under the same roof as me.
But, there are two particular noises that I have been dealing with that I find very disturbing coming from the bathroom. Again, I can't complain because I think it would be rude to question someone's bathroom habits. But, I feel like if I understood better what the fuck is happening, maybe I would be less disturbed. The two recurring noises in question are:
1) One roommate makes a throat clearing/cough type of noise repeatedly, and loudly in the bathroom. Picture the noise you make if coughing with your mouth closed. Except its really loud and sometimes rapid-fire. This noise has even woken me up. I've never heard this noise when we are in the kitchen together or anywhere else in the house, so I don't think he's just phlegmy or something. I honestly think this is the sound of him straining so hard on the toilet that he is grunting. Imagine being woken up by that? It is just disturbing and I hate how loud this is. That can't be healthy.
2) Someone in the house showers around 2-3 am. The shower running is not a problem, it's what happens at the end of the shower after turning off the water that is a problem. There is a vigorous squeaky tub noise that makes it feel like my room is having an earthquake. I originally thought people were having sex in the bathroom at night. But, when I realized which roommate it was, I ruled this out. He never has anyone over. I wonder if the noise is something to do with wearing flip flops in the shower? I cant imaging what vigorous movement is even safe to do without falling over in the tub. Hopefully nobody is laying/sitting down in our shared tub. Even though I clean it, that would be gross. And for those with their mind in the gutter, wondering if he is perhaps playing the skin flute, I ask you why would he be doing this after the water is shut off? And why is it causing the whole upstairs to shake? I thought maybe it was a scrubbing sound of cleaning the bathtub, but this guy doesn't clean shit around the house, so scratch that off the list. This bothers me more than anything because I have to just lay in my bed at 3am waiting for the room to stop shaking, whilst disturbing noises come from the bathroom.
Can anyone explain to me wtf is happening in my house so I can come to terms with it??? Obviously I cannot bring it up because these are both personal things that are none of my business, but nonetheless are affecting the comfortable use of my space.
submitted by EcstaticWelcome7722 to badroommates [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:52 careerthrowaway112 Not saying happy mothers day?

My parents made it so I could not learn to drive growing up and my mom is extremly controlling. Sometimes i uber to work and sometimes I get a ride. My mom drove me and I asked her to pull in two feet to a certain spot that is super easy to drop me off at. It would make no difference to her but she said no. She swerved into a random liquour store a five ish minute walk from my job in 100 degree weather and kicked me out of the car. It is not so much about the walk but I am a young girl so why leave me at a liquour store plus what was her reason, Why did my question flip a switch in her brain. I was simply asking if she could do something and she got angry saying it was because of how I treat her. All i said was "why can't you" and she swerved into the parking lot to kick me out. I do not want to walk on eggshells not knowing when someone is gonna flip out or try to convince me I am problematic when I am just existing. I would rather avoid good times w that person as well
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2024.05.13 23:44 ThrowRA22201 20M Ending a great relationship with girlfriend 21F because of a gut feeling?

I've found myself in an unbelievably uncomfortable situation where I have extreme uncertainty and anxiety about the future of my (20M) relationship with my girlfriend (21F). We've been dating for about a year and have had a great time together. Early on we felt an unbreakable bond, as if we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. We talked about getting married, having kids, settling down. We agreed on most everything. Politics, religion, family, finances: seemingly everything consequential we were in absolute agreement on. And we've had a great time together, experiencing life and helping each other overcome substantial difficulties with our families and with college. I can say confidently that she has been the most impactful addition to my life up to this point.
But recently I've been having doubts. They started popping up about 8 months into the relationship as occasional concerns. She's often late, I'm a stickler for being on time. She doesn't mind boredom, I need to constantly keep myself busy. She never organizes dates or outings, I am a total control freak. It would be fleeting thoughts, and things that I assured myself she could accommodate without issue. But recently it's reached a fever pitch. In the last month, I haven't gone an hour without wondering if we should go our separate ways. It's gotten to the point where there is a constant knot in my chest that I just can't get rid of. The tough thing is that nothing about her has changed, she's still the beautiful, smart, caring, and selfless girl I first fell in love with.
As a bit of background, we are both sophomores in college at the same school. We met towards the end of freshman year at a party and immediately hit it off. We moved very fast very quickly, as both of us were inexperienced but passionate about each other and the relationship. It was both of our 'firsts' for a whole lot of things physically and romantically. In many ways, it seemed as though we were almost the same person early on. Our friends remarked that we were 'made for each other' and everything seemed so perfect. But as time went by, our differences started to make themselves apparent to me. She's introverted and relaxed, I'm extroverted and extremely high strung (borderline workaholic). At the beginning, I appreciated how relaxed she was, but I also feel that I want someone with the ambition and drive I have. For context, I am pursuing two degrees in addition to working a part-time job to help pay for college. I'm also in a number of clubs (both academic and social). By comparison, she is just doing a single degree and isn't in any clubs or working a job, and she still struggles. I don't want to admit that the difference in workload has created a bit of resentment between us but I fear that it has.
We're still madly in love with each other even though I continue to have these doubts. She has no ill feelings and still feels as though we are a perfect match. We're both the 'date to marry' type of person so the idea of staying in a relationship that isn't intended to be permanent is hugely distressing for both of us.
We've both struggled with anxiety and sadness in the past, and it's hard to know if I'm just shifting the blame around for an inherent anxiety I have (sometimes I think it's school, sometimes I think it's the job, now I feel like it's all stemming from our relationship). But I have never had anxiety so centered around a single thing.
She's willing to do anything to save the relationship and keep it going, even to the extent of completely changing herself to better align with me. I'm worried I'll never be able to kick this feeling, and I'm worried that staying with her will end up with her driving herself mad trying to satisfy me. On the flip side, we continue to enjoy the same activities and to this day have never had a serious disagreement or fight.
She's absolutely convinced she will never find anyone that can replace me, and I hate the prospect of making her sad. She also believes that I'll inevitably feel this way in every relationship I'm in. But I don't want to continue putting on a face and pretending everything is OK.
Is this just a first love that I'm scared to let go? Am I giving up on something great here because of a baseless gut feeling?
--- **TL;DR;** : Girlfriend and I have different personalities and responsibilities which has altered my perception of her on a deeper level than I had realized. I'm not sure what to do from here -- am I just scared to let go? Or am I giving up on something great here because of a baseless gut feeling? 
submitted by ThrowRA22201 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:42 jayseejewel How the Polyamory could have been handled differently (P.2)

This is party 2 of a discussion regarding how poly could have been handled a little better in BG3. I recommend you read through the first part here: https://new.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/1crb2s7/how_the_polyamory_could_have_been_handled/ so you can get context and I sound like less of a rambling weirdo.

Astarion:
Out of all the discussions, people were the most confused by this choice. Not only does making him poly at the last minute feel contrary to a lot of statements he himself makes throughout his romance arc, but it also runs counter to what other characters say about him and his backstory as a whole. He is one of the most insecure characters in the game, he was trained for two hundred years to lie in order to avoid punishment, and he has far more trauma and healing to do than the other characters. Astarion is the most likely to lie about the Halsin relationship in order to avoid appearing weak or demanding. Out of the poly players who expressed disappointment, Astarion was the one that bothered them the most, since many felt he wasn’t fully consenting.
Most of my reasons for why he’s not a good poly option (from a development standpoint) have already been stated in earlier sections, so most of this will be spent diving into the “Is he fine with poly or not?” debate, which had me intrigued. (This will be the longest section and won’t be as connected to the overall topic, so if you want to skip to the Halsin part, feel free.)
I’ll start with the main arguments I see defending him being poly.
Argument 1: He says he’s fine with Halsin and the twins, so we should take him at his word.
While this can definitely be argued, and it’s not good to treat an adult man like a baby, his constant lying as a defense mechanism and current issues with sex/relationships do need to be taken into account (if not by the players then at least by the developers). There were plenty of people (some of them victims of SA) who talked about their own experience of tolerating poly because they were scared of their partner leaving or finding them too demanding/narrow minded. This led to their self-esteem and views on relationships growing worse rather than better. For someone like Astarion, who outright admits he has never had a healthy relationship and doesn’t want to lose this one, it’s understandable that people view his response as a coping mechanism rather than his own genuine feelings. There were also two different mental health professionals who reminded players that although a few victims of abuse do enter poly relationships, statistically most do not and it is far more common for them to agree to poly relationships out of pressure (which often make the person’s mental issues even worse in the long run).
Argument 2: He claims to be fine with open relationships during Act 1.
This is countered by the fact that everything he says about himself in Act 1 is a lie (unless he’s specifically talking about Cazador). He lies about wanting to sleep with you, he lies about his identity until he bites you, he claims to only care about sex (then later admits it makes him feel disgust and loathing), and he brags about his former conquests (which you later find out he regrets and feels guilt over). His statements that he’s fine with open relationships are made when choosing between him and another Origin character in Act 1 or 2, but this is also said at a time when his act is still up and he isn’t in love with the player. If you choose between him and another Origin character AFTER he confesses and let’s his guard down, he insists that he is NOT fine with sharing. “You’ve decided to replace me?” If the player says they care about both him and the other person, he’ll say, “Don’t give me that. I can see what this is.” Then he promptly breaks up with them. This second reaction is not only said using his genuine voice (whereas before he was still using his fake one), but a few poly people mentioned that this isn’t a normal reaction from someone who is fine with poly.
This isn’t to shame people who want to think Astarion is fine with it, or to judge players who went through with the poly relationship. Instead, this is once again asking the developers why they chose this option, rather than someone who wouldn’t spark so much debate or remind abuse victims of their past without giving them a dialogue option to address it. (This is a similar issue with Astarion’s brothel scene. They should have either removed it by having him say he’s not comfortable again, or at the very least, let players talk to him about it after.)
I think it’s pretty clear that after reading the discussions and evidence both sides provided, I myself lean heavily to one side. However, the main defense I personally have for the opposite side is that the writers were sometimes vague about Astarion’s true preferences and wishes. I especially felt this during the origin playthrough, where his narrator would constantly flip between him liking hedonism and despising it. It gave the impression that two opposing authors were wrestling while writing him, unable to decide where he truly stood on things. It felt similar to how the devs tried to write a respectful story of overcoming abuse and the fear of being sexualized, only to turn around and repeatedly sexualize the character in both the game and promotional material. I really wish the writers and developers had picked a lane and stuck with it.
Now I’ll get into the evidence for the counter theory: That he’s not actually open to sharing, but says he’s fine with it to avoid appearing weak or losing his partner. I personally prefer this theory because it makes the writing seem more intentional, adds more nuance to an already complex character, and feels more realistic. However, even if this is what the writer or actor were trying to convey, it’s still a far worse alternative to simply keeping him out of the poly options in the first place.
  1. His hedonistic playboy persona is stated to be a façade. Anything he says in act one about being poly and wanting open relationships is stated when he is both wearing his mask and before he trusts the player. Every statement about relationships here has to be taken with a grain of salt because his mask is centered around attracting victims for Cazador. Since he hated bringing “sweet innocents” to his master, it makes sense that he would initially try to attract the opposite (“criminals and brothel goers”) by sleeping around and making a show of wanting casual relationships.
  2. Once he gets comfortable in the relationship, he makes it clear he is looking for someone who will make him feel safe and value him for his personality over his body (“I don’t want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don’t think I want anyone to.” “How do you want me to see you?” “As a person. Is that so much to ask?”). If the player chooses to sexualize him, he will go through with it, then regret it later and break up. He makes it very clear in Act two that he’s not actually looking for casual hookups because they make him feel “ashamed and alone”. So it is odd that he’s fine with Halsin (who seems to care more about the sex and the body than the emotional bonding) and the brothel (which is solely about sex). One can argue that he’s fine with the poly relationship because he’s not taking part, but Halsin DOES wish for him to take part ‘eventually’.
  3. Jumping off of that, Astarion’s dialogue makes it clear he wants a partner who cares about more than just sex, but if you tell him you want to date Halsin solely for the sex (and because Astarion’s not doing it with you), he will say that’s fine and he doesn’t mind the player seeking sex from others. This seems to counter his previous statements and arc. It’s especially strange that even if you reinforce his greatest insecurity (that his refusal to have sex has made his partner immediately seek out other people), he will still claim to be fine with it.
  4. In terms of dialogue, the actor for Astarion seems to be very intentional when using the fake theatrical masking voice vs. the more genuine softspoken voice he uses when he’s comfortable and being honest. The fake voice is blatantly obvious throughout the Act 1 romance, in Act 2 if you force him to obey the blood merchant (his voice goes from genuinely scared to flirtatious and over the top within seconds), and in Cazador’s mansion where he’ll speak genuinely to you, then be over the top when addressing Cazador’s servants. He’ll often use jokes and loud laughter to conceal his true feelings and insecurities. Meanwhile his laughter in the confession scene, graveyard scene, and Spawn epilogue is quiet and subdued because he’s being genuine. It feels like a strange coincidence that when addressing both the Halsin situation and the brothel situation, his voice becomes very loud and high pitched again, he immediately starts making jokes, and his laughter is over the top. This hints at him not wanting to go along with either situation, but he’s putting himself through it because this is what his partner wants and since he’s tolerated sexual stuff he hated before, he can do it again. Plus, after killing Cazador, he wants to ensure no one views him as weak. He has to prove to himself and his lover (at least in his mind) that refusing to take the Ascendant powers was good and he’s strong enough to not need it. I can understand players not picking up on the voice changes (because not everyone is going to replay the game or even care) but those who did notice it believe it’s done intentionally (either by the actor or the writer or both). If it’s not intentional, then it’s a strange decision to make from a developer’s standpoint.
  5. Throughout the threads I read, most poly people made it clear that poly relationships require complete trust, clear communication, and general confidence. Astarion himself admits to lacking all of those traits to some degree. If you don’t romance him, he will literally not trust any of the characters right up to the epilogue (he’ll hold a knife behind his back while talking to the Dark Urge). Even though he does seem to genuinely trust his lover by Act 2, he will still lie to them several times. He lies about being fine with the drow twins (he states he’ll leave if he hates if but never does despite disassociating), feigns confidence when the player says they’ll become a mind flayer (he says he only cares about them becoming ugly but expresses his true fears only after the fight, that he’s worried they are no longer the person he fell in love with by losing their soul), he manipulates his lover when confronting Cazador despite being conflicted about it himself and wanting reassurance, and (on a more minor note) he continuously claims he’s doesn’t care about Yenna or the Gur children despite getting upset when they’re in danger. This is a character who, even after he kills his tormentor, struggles to be honest with his partner. That isn’t a good combination when addressing poly. (Again, it could be worked through in real life, but is better avoided in video games where there isn’t time to address it).
  6. There are also plenty of situations where he agrees to do things he outright hates. In Act 1, we know he is (at least somewhat) disgusted by having sex with the player or Laezel, but he’ll do it. In Act 2, he tries to be genuine about not wanting to touch the player until he no longer feels disgust, but if the player pressures him, he will cave and obey. He does break up with the player afterwards, but it is only after he has gone through with the act. In Act 3, he will state three times that he doesn’t want to take the tadpole, but if the player pressures him by bringing up his darkest fear, he will give in. Worse, he will give in and STILL stay with the player romantically despite them clearly manipulating him to do something they know he fears. He does thankfully break up if you fail the checks, but if you succeed, he goes through with it. If he’s willing to cave to something as huge as altering his entire body, it makes sense that he would cave to something he views as more minor (like tolerating unwanted sexual acts in a brothel or sharing his partner).
  7. I didn’t know this until I saw others mention it but there are points where he will flirt with NPCs if he is single (the girl in the sewers), but he uses neutral dialogue if he is dating the player. This reinforces the theory that he doesn’t actually plan to sleep around or be with others as he claims (though there are some dialogues that I think slipped through the cracks where he still flirts with others despite being in a committed relationship).
  8. If Halsin propositions you after Cazador has been killed, Astarion no longer asks if you’re doing this because he hasn’t been fulfilling your sexual needs. However, he does give another response that feels out of place: “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if anything (in our relationship) changes.” Parallel this with what he said at the graveyard, that “no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose this (relationship).” It’s very odd to have him say he doesn’t want to lose the relationship, but then the next day he is totally okay with losing it. Granted, it is nice to know that even if the characters break up, he’ll be fine, but it does feel contradictory for his character, especially with how devastated he acts if they DO end the relationship. If the Halsin statement is just an act and he’s overcompensating, however, then it feels more intentional on the writer’s part.
  9. I’ve seen lots of people say that Ascended Astarion also shouldn’t be fine with poly, and I agree, though it’s for different reasons than Spawn Astarion. Unlike SA, I think Ascended would absolutely do the brothel scene because 1. He’s actively suppressing his trauma and playing a new character and 2. He feels in control in the brothel and is the focus. However, with Halsin, he doesn’t have any control. For someone obsessed with possessing his lover and ensuring they can never leave him, letting them sleep with Halsin doesn’t fit his writing. He isn’t participating. He doesn’t know what they’re doing behind his back. For all he knows, Halsin and the player might be discussing how to kill Astarion or escape him. In some deleted party banter, Halsin literally tells Ascended Astarion he doesn’t approve of the abusive spawn/master relationship they’ve formed. With that knowledge, not only should Halsin not be willing to join a poly relationship that he thinks is unhealthy, but he has a motivation to help the player get away from AA (and AA would know this). I could see Spawn Astarion hesitantly agreeing to the Halsin thing despite not wanting to share, but AA just wouldn’t. It feels contrary to both his and Halsin’s writing.
  10. This is the second most convincing piece of evidence for me: The Drow twins. If you ask Astarion to join a ‘group activity’, he’ll use his fake voice and flighty laugh and agree to go through it, saying he’ll run away if he doesn’t like it and comparing the act to burning in the sun (a little concerning that he’s already comparing the two). Then during the act, he will immediately ask the player what they want “us” to do. Not only is he lumping himself in with the prostitutes, but he is also doing something that an Origin playthrough reveals is a trigger for him (he tells the drow twins that being ‘told what to do’ reminds him of his time as a slave). If the player tries to check up on him, he ignores them and says he wishes he was drunk. Then he disassociates and never brings it up again. This has been viewed two ways: either he doesn’t want to have casual sex anymore and wants to be in a one-on-one relationship, or he does want to do stuff like this but just needs to heal more before he can. I lean toward the first assumption because he is acting flighty and fake BEFORE the sexual act even begins. If he really wanted to do it but changed his mind after, it makes more sense for him to sound genuine at first, then fake halfway through.
But the main thing that sticks out to me is his reaction to you asking for only ONE drow twin. If you do, he will accuse you of having a thing for prostitutes and call it embarrassing, then glare at you for the rest of the conversation. This is especially sad because not only have the player’s actions made him feel like a prostitute again, but now he seems to be wondering if you started dating him BECAUSE he was a prostitute, not for who he really is.
Compare this to the Halsin situation and the drow ‘group activity’. For Halsin, he says he was expecting this for months. He’s had several months to plan his reaction and decide what he’s willing to tolerate. Hence, he has a very rehearsed reaction. With the twins, he had less time to anticipate this but probably also worried about it (especially if the player asked about them earlier and he said no. Now he expects the player to try again and has planned accordingly). Again, this response feels rehearsed and fake. The only response where he uses his real voice is when you ask for one of the twins alone. This is something he likely wouldn’t plan for, so we get to see his gut reaction for the first time: he doesn’t want you to do it.
Now some people argue that he’s fine with Halsin and not the other Origin characters because Halsin is just a fling and won’t try to take his spot. If that’s the case, he should be fine with the twins too. If anything, they are even less of a threat. Yet he doesn’t want you to do it and responds accordingly. If he truly was poly, he would respond like Karlach did and tell you to have fun, or like Shadowheart telling you to give him a heads up first. But we don’t see that.
One other thing about the twins that I felt I could point out: if you or the twins ask to do a group activity before Cazador is killed, Astarion says he’s not comfortable with this yet. The “yet” part has been pointed out to show that he’s fine with it after Cazador has been killed (even though he still disassociates later). However, another explanation of the “yet” part is that he’s trying to soften the blow because he’s scared of using a blunt NO. We see this with Araj, the blood merchant. Even though he is absolutely disgusted with her treatment of him and how she’s “defiling” him with her fantasies, his rejections of her are very soft and nervous. Even when reinforced by his friend/lover, he says “It’s still a no, I’m afraid” with a smile. Turning down sexual encounters is tough for him, even when he has people backing him up, so I can see him using words like “yet” or “I’m afraid” to soften the blow. I know several people in real life who do this, despite later admitting there was no “yet”.
There’s another part of this dialogue with the early twins that I want to point out (really overanalyzing here but if we want to believe the writers do things intentionally/with a lot of forethought, I think it’s okay to read into the words they use). When Astarion says he’s not comfortable with the twins, the player’s response is “I wouldn’t ask such a thing of you”. This will raise his approval and make him respond positively. The promise you give him is not “I’ll ask them later, after we’ve killed Cazador” or “I would have liked to but okay” (that one doesn’t trigger his positive response). He only approves of you saying you won’t ask him to do things like this (stated in a tense that implies you will NEVER ask him to do such a thing, regardless of Cazador’s stabbed or unstabbed state). This could have been the writer hinting that if you bring him back after, you’re going back on your promise and thus have to see the disassociating scene. That…or the writer wasn’t thinking too hard and we are simply thinking too much.
  1. With all that out of the way, we’ll get to the final point that solidifies this theory for me personally. It’s the statements of Shadowheart and Minthara if you ask to do a three-way relationship with one of them and Astarion. Shadowheart’s response is: “I think you’re overestimating his willingness to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but there’s something fragile beneath the façade.” Minthara says something nearly identical, that sharing would wound his pride and he is far too fragile to handle it. You could even add Astarion’s line from the other end, where if you ask Astarion to share with you and Karlach, he will say they shouldn’t because Karlach loves the player and relationships are fragile (implying that he either thinks open relationships don’t work if there’s love involved, or perhaps he himself can only do open relationships if he doesn’t love the other person).
The main argument I’ve seen disproving these statements by Shadowheart and Minthara is that they’re just plain wrong about him. If so, it’s a strange writing choice to not only have both of them be wrong about the exact same thing, but they’re both high wisdom characters who are proven to understand Astarion in a lot of ways other characters don’t. (All three of them have been enslaved and manipulated, Minthara comprehends the depths of his relationship with Cazador within minutes of being in the camp, and Shadowheart is one of the closest to Astarion in terms of friendship and liking him.)
If Astarion actually is fine with poly, then it means both Shadowheart and Minthara are wrong. That means the writers either made a mistake or made a very weird writing choice.
However, if Astarion is actually pretending to be fine with sharing as they say, not only is the writing consistent but these dialogues become very clever foreshadowing. I want to give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe they did a good job with Astarion, so I prefer to lean into the theory that he’s pretending because it makes more sense for him overall.
That was quite a long tangent and somewhat unnecessary, but he’s a character whose mannerisms and statements are meant to be heavily analyzed, so it’s fun to go more in depth. Let’s move on.
  1. ISSUES WITH HOW HALSIN WAS PRESENTED
We’re finally at the last point, and in a way the direct cause of this entire thread: Halsin. Now, I have no issue with Halsin being poly (again, he’s listed as one of my four ideal options for it) but I do have several issues with how he was written and presented. The Shadowheart part I will skip over because I already got into it, but there are many other problems to address and most of them could have been fixed very easily.
  1. He is not presented as poly until Act 3. I was reading through a thread full of people who loved him and several of them were early access players who had requested he become a romance option. However, the reason they requested him was very important. In EA, all three of the male options seemed immature (Wyll), condescending (Gale), or straight up evil (Astarion). Meanwhile Halsin was, in their words, a mature man who seems like the type to settle down with them in a cottage and help raise their kids. This is the impression he gives and what drew many people to him. As a result, many of these players were extremely disappointed to reach Act 3 once the game was out and discover that not only was he the complete opposite of their initial impression, but he won’t even stay with the player after the game ends (in most cases). Honestly, if I was a developer and saw that they liked him for those earlier reasons, I wouldn’t make him strictly poly because that wasn’t what the players wanted. They wanted him because he was muscular and a good, stable man. It was a very odd choice to turn around and give the players the opposite of what they asked for. But if the devs were truly determined to go the poly route, they should have at least gone back to Act 1 and 2 and slipped in some hints that he was poly. I saw some newer players who recently played the game for the first time and wanted to romance him for the aforementioned reasons (stable, mature, kind, huge). They ignored all other romances until Act 3, then got hit with the “I’m only poly” discussion. Had they known he wasn’t monogamous, they wouldn’t have blown off all the other options.
  2. But let’s ignore that. We’re focusing on the world where he IS completely poly (though some were arguing that it should at least be an option to ask if he’ll try being monogamous with the player.) The way he is presented still has a lot of issues according to poly players. For one, the way he tries to butt in on the relationship is done in a really sketchy manner (especially considering what some of the Origin characters have gone through/are currently going through). It would have been far better to do what they did with Minsc and give the PLAYER the option to hit on Halsin, rather than the other way around. Have them offer poly to him, and then he can discuss it from there. Having the proposition come from Halsin himself puts him in a negative light, and it’s pretty clear the writers didn’t actually want to portray him as a bad person so they messed up here.
  3. The flagging for Halsin’s dialogues is awful and despite seeing people report it for eight months, that hasn’t changed. Even if you pick the most neutral option, he will still hit on you by saying “I think you feel the same way”. Not a good idea. “I HOPE you feel the same way” would have been infinitely better. Women often have to deal with people assuming their friendly, professional conversation is something more when it isn’t. It’s not a great idea to bring that into fantasy games too. It hit too close to home for some.
  4. Even if you use the most neutral option at the Act 1 party (“Go have fun and mingle”), your main dialogue option the next day is “Sorry for coming on so strong last night”. It’s a strange thing to say. Again, I’m not sure how developers missed this and why it was never patched out. I saw people reporting it since the release.
  5. He will also ask for a relationship at neutral approval. In most of my playthroughs, I stopped talking to him beyond the Thaniel quest and avoided asking about his personal life. He still led his proposition with “I think you feel the same way”. How does he know when we only spoke to him three times? They should have at least required you to go through all his extra dialogues before triggering this.
  6. When Halsin says he loves you, you have two options: reject him straight away, or ask about his opinions a little more. Oddly enough, if you ask a bit more and THEN reject him, he’ll have a proper response. “That’s fine. I understand. I won’t ask again.” However, if you reject him as soon as he starts talking to you, his response is very off putting. He’ll protest and say, “but you asked me about my former lovers” or, if you didn’t even do that, he’ll claim “you looked after me with the care of a lover, not a host.” These pushy assumptions turned a lot of people off. This is entirely on the writer, in my opinion. He should have realized how weird these sounded.
  7. Halsin is the only person you can’t dismiss from your camp at any point through dialogue. All of the origins have to be pursued and recruited intentionally. Halsin is the only exception. This makes some sense because you need him to cure the Shadowlands, but for Act 3, he literally has nothing to do. They should have given players an option after the Ketheric fight to dismiss him and tell him to take care of the Shadowlands. It makes a lot more sense narratively and would help avoid a lot of the more awkward parts later.
  8. Halsin’s initial dialogue about monogamy vs. polyamory is mostly fine, with him comparing it to gardens and wolves vs. bears. But (and don’t quote me on this because I can’t recall the specifics), if you ask your partner to do poly and they say no, Halsin will be a little more judgmental about your partner, saying he was hoping they would be more “open minded”. Statistically, the majority of BG3’s players are going to be monogamous, so it’s strange to see nearly every character (monogamous or poly) criticize monogamy in some way. It is called selfish, narrow minded, and old fashioned by at least 3 characters to my knowledge (Halsin, Act 1 Astarion, and even Gale (who is monogamous himself)). If the developers truly wanted to be inclusive, criticizing one’s lifestyle and having no characters openly defend it in the game (even those who practice it) is a disappointing choice. In this case, it might be an unintentional mistake (maybe they feared that by defending monogamy, they were somehow demonizing polygamy or polyamory), but it would have been better to just leave the criticisms out of it entirely if that was the case.
And that’s it. I think that’s all the points from myself and others that I wanted to compile. I don’t think any of this will be changed in BG3 but I hope all of these points and opinions will at least improve any future games. It’s great that BG3 was able to make nuanced characters with their own opinions and preferences—I much prefer it to “everyone is poly and no one gets mad if you cheat” games where characters feel more like statues than living beings—but I do wish they thought the poly options through more carefully (trying to make poly people comfortable while leaving room for monogamous players to enjoy the romances too).
The only feasible fix the developers could make at this point to avoid all the issues mentioned is keeping Halsin poly but removing his connections to other Origin romances (or at least Karlach and Astarion). At this point, that’s the only thing that could realistically be done. I also wish they made characters break up with you if you cheat on them in the brothel, since that’s what many people including myself would do.
Again, these opinions are my own (and those that aren’t come from a variety of comments across Youtube, Reddit, and Larian’s forums). I enjoyed getting to see so many different viewpoints and appreciated how civil (most of) the people on both sides were. It’s an interesting topic and here’s hoping game studios handle it better in the future.
If anyone reads this far and wants links to the threads, forums, and youtube comment sections, let me know.
submitted by jayseejewel to BaldursGate3 [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:42 bsem2 I am confident I have a viable course I can sell but I suck terribly at selling and marketing. I also don't have a huge budget to hire a sales team. Any advice (from optimistic problem-solvers)?

Long story short, I created a course I want to sell. But I suck at the selling side of it. I suck at all aspects of getting people to care about it at all. So I need to know how to overcome this hurdle to start getting sales.
I initially created this course to help people- I put it on YouTube. No one watched. I actually tried to give it away for free, by posting it on my website and advertised a free course. No one enrolled. I was about to toss the files when I uploaded them to Udemy on a whim. That got enrollments.
I have taken feedback and improved the course over time. While I don't have millions of enrollments or anything, based on the thousands I have had, and the hundreds of reviews, mostly 5*, I am confident I have a final product. I also leased the course to a small training company through which it also got positive reviews.
In other words, I have made money off something I couldn't give away for free.
I wish to package my classes into one collective course (a SCORM file) and sell it off Udemy.
I am confident there are a few thousand people out there that can be sold on the course, especially if I keep it affordable. Here is where I am stuck. . At this point, I am exactly where I was before I ever made a dime off the classes. I cannot make a sale to save my life. Facebook ads, Google ads, YouTube ads... they go nowhere and just hijack my investment. I try to follow the advice on how to make compelling ads, and landing pages, but it doesn't work- not doubting the method, just my ability to employ it.
So I'm not sure what to do. I have a product I believe in that I cannot build interest in. But I'm just a single person with average income. I can't hire a salesman, but I also don't want to give up. I know this has potential.
Now I have already heard a million reasons why this won't work- no one takes courses anymore, you have to sell an entire library of courses to have a shot, you shoulda started ten years ago, just stick to udemy cuz that's your limit... I get it. But I have worked on perfecting this for years and I will either succeed at it or die before I do, so allow me to live in my delusion. I have heard the perspective on why it won't work. Now, I'm simply interested in someone who might have a perspective on how maybe it can.
Any advice?
submitted by bsem2 to EntrepreneurRideAlong [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:28 AlfrescoDog The Great Wall and Wall Street: Become a Better Trader by Understanding the Perils of 🇨🇳 Chinese Companies on 🇺🇸 U.S. Exchanges

The Great Wall and Wall Street: Become a Better Trader by Understanding the Perils of 🇨🇳 Chinese Companies on 🇺🇸 U.S. Exchanges
⚠️ Attention all traders and holders of Chinese stocks: You should read this if you don’t know what a VIE is. Sure, most of you will be repelled by the great wall of text here (so many words!), but you might want to keep this post nearby.
Hello. You are aware that Wall Street’s bustling bazaar hosts a veritable Forbidden City of Chinese companies draped in ticker tape rather than silk. Today, I will provide background and data on all allowed Chinese companies listed on three of the largest U.S. stock exchanges: New York Stock Exchange (NYSE), Nasdaq, and NYSE American.
I should note that a bustling troupe of 26 national securities exchanges are registered with the SEC in the United States. Most are owned by the Nasdaq, NYSE, or the Chicago Board Options Exchange (CBOE).
Nonetheless, based on data from the World Federation of Exchanges as of August 2023, the NYSE and Nasdaq were the top two exchanges behemoths of the global financial stage, accounting for 42.4% of the total $110.2 trillion in valuation traded across 80 major global exchanges.
🖼️ I had a photo of Wall Street to add here, but I'm only allowed to include one attachment.
2022 vs. 2023
According to the U.S.-China Economic and Security Review Commission, as of January 8, 2024, there were 265 Chinese companies listed on the three U.S. exchanges, with a total market capitalization of $848 billion. That valuation is down from a year prior—January 9, 2023—when a slightly lower 252 Chinese companies were tracked, but they represented a total market capitalization of $1.03 trillion.
Since January 2023, 24 Chinese companies have entered the spotlight of the three U.S. exchanges, raising $656 million in combined initial public offerings (IPOs). On the other hand, eleven Chinese companies have folded their tents and delisted.
China Securities Regulatory Commission
The American stock exchanges witnessed a springtime bloom of Chinese IPOs in the first quarter of 2023. However, this listing activity came to an abrupt halt as the clock struck March 31, 2023.
Why? The China Securities Regulatory Commission (CSRC) implemented a revised approval process for companies going public overseas.
I won’t get into the details, but China has rules to cap foreign investment and ownership in sectors deemed strategic, such as technology. In the past, those regulations have driven several Chinese firms to the legal gymnastics of a Variable Interest Entity (VIE) structure—a clever contrivance that allowed them to leapfrog domestic constraints.
However, under the revised review mechanism, every company, regardless of its corporate ownership structure, must now bow before the China Securities Regulatory Commission (CSRC) to register its intent to list overseas.
🖼️ I had a photo of the CSRC building to add here, but I'm only allowed to include one attachment.
The gatekeeper
Therefore, although the CSRC touted this regulation as a necessary measure for enforcing regulatory compliance and preventing fraud (which is true), it also helps regulators act as gatekeepers poised to block any proposed listing they deem poses a risk to their national security or jeopardizes China's national interests.
This process is wide-ranging. For instance, it includes an evaluation of the company’s safeguards against disclosing what the Chinese Communist Party considers potential state secrets. But we’re not talking about top-secret black-ops projects meant to be hidden from international oversight committees. No… any company that collects personal information on more than one million users requires stern data security review mechanisms for its cross-border data flows.
For perspective, TikTok has over 150 million users in the U.S. alone and is not subject to the same scrutiny from the Western nations.
Currently, the CSRC approval process is reportedly taking upward of six months.
Audit inspections and investigations in China
You’re probably unaware of the HFCAA, so let’s start there.
The Holding Foreign Companies Accountable Act of 2020 (HFCAA) is a law that requires companies publicly listed on stock exchanges in the U.S. to disclose to the United States Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) information on foreign jurisdictions that prevent the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board (PCAOB) from conducting inspections.
That law laid down a stern ultimatum: If Chinese authorities kept obstructing the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board (PCAOB) from inspecting audit firms in China or Hong Kong for three consecutive years, the companies audited by these entities would face a ban from the bustling arenas of the U.S. exchanges.
Basically, either China allowed the PCAOB to inspect the audit firms, or the companies had to change to another auditing firm within three years.
Then, as 2022 waned to its final days (literally, on December 29), President Joe Biden signed a Consolidated Appropriations Act, which contained a provision that will tighten the noose, shortening future timelines from three consecutive years to only two.
Once they looked under the rock
Finally allowed to conduct full investigations of audit firms in mainland China and Hong Kong after over a decade of obstruction, the PCAOB announced the findings of its first round of inspections in May 2023, identifying deficiencies in seven of eight audits conducted by the auditing firms KPMG Huazhen and PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) Hong Kong. Audits of Chinese Companies Are Highly Deficient, U.S. Regulator Says
On November 30, 2023, the PCAOB announced fines against three audit firms in China, totaling $7.9 million for misconduct. For perspective, that number included the second and third-largest fines ever doled out by the PCAOB.
Why were the fines so bad?
Those sneaky Chinese accountants
Imagine a gaggle of accountants in the far reaches of PwC China and Hong Kong applying for a U.S. auditing curriculum. But alas, these foreign accountants find the U.S. auditing training tests a trifle tedious, so someone came up with the answers and decided to pass them around like a secret note in a schoolroom.
From 2018 to 2020, over 1,000 of these busy bees completed their U.S. auditing online exams by copying the answers from two unauthorized apps with a fervor that would make a gossip columnist blush.
When confronted with the evidence, PwC China and PwC Hong Kong response: 🤷‍♂️
And let me remind you, this happened late last year. Both firms are expected to provide reasonable assurance that their personnel will act with integrity in connection with internal training and to report their compliance to the PCAOB within 150 days—April 2024.
🖼️ I was planning on using an AI-generated image of Chinese accountants cheating, but I'm only allowed to include one attachment.
State-owned enterprises
According to the U.S.-China Economic and Security Review Commission, this graph represents the total market capitalization of Chinese companies listed in the three U.S. exchanges.
Market Capitalization of Listed Chinese Companies
The number of listed companies has stayed at around 260. However, all Chinese state-owned enterprises (SOEs) have delisted themselves from U.S. exchanges, most of them soon after the PCAOB announced it had secured complete access to Chinese auditors’ records.
Variable Interest Entities (VIEs)
Most traders—and that means you—are unaware that 166 Chinese companies currently listed on the three major U.S. exchanges use a VIE structure.
As of January 8, 2024, these companies have a market capitalization of $772 billion. For perspective, that represents 91% of the total market capitalization of all the Chinese firms listed on the three major U.S. exchanges.
What the hell is a VIE?
It is a complex corporate structure that grants shareholders contractual claims to control via an offshore shell company without transferring actual ownership in the company.
A Variable Interest Entity (VIE) is a bit like a riverboat casino’s cleverest trick, allowing a company to sell its chips on a foreign table without ever letting the players hold the cards directly.
A VIE is a structure used primarily by companies that wish to partake in the financial streams of another country (the U.S. exchanges) without breaking local laws (Chinese laws) that prevent full ownership.
Remember, Chinese companies structured themselves as VIEs to circumvent China’s restrictions—not U.S. restrictions—on foreign ownership in industries the CCP deems sensitive.
Therefore, when you hold stock in one of these Chinese companies, you’re not officially holding any actual ownership in the company. Because if you did, then that company could be breaking Chinese restrictive caps on foreign investment and ownership.
That’s why they set up a façade, or a legal entity, that controls the business on paper, but the true power and profits are funneled back to the company pulling the strings.
Granted, it’s not as shaky as asking a random stranger to hold your shares, but it is crafty, and you should be aware of the risks.
Wait. What are the risks?
You need to understand that there’s a shadow of potential risk looming. Potential. Now, don't mistake me for the town crier of doom; I'm not proclaiming that the sky is falling on these shares. Nor am I declaring that disaster is certain for Chinese stocks.
What I am pointing out, however, is the presence of a risk—a subtle beast that might just catch you off guard if you remain unaware.
And let’s face it: Most of you are completely oblivious to these issues.
There are two sides here: 🇺🇸 & 🇨🇳
🇺🇸
Since July 2021, the SEC has imposed additional disclosure requirements for Chinese companies using a VIE to sell shares in the U.S. These requirements include greater transparency about the relationship between the VIE and its Chinese operating companies.
In summary, the SEC aims to push VIEs toward the company behind them to offer more clarity on U.S. investor ownership in the Chinese operating company.
🇨🇳
On the other side, Chinese companies that list overseas using a VIE were not required to register their listings with the CSRC, as the VIE is not considered a Chinese company under China’s law. This is the reason VIEs were used in the first place.
However, as I mentioned earlier, after March 31, 2023, the CSRC established requirements for all new Chinese companies to register and receive permission before going public overseas—even those planning to use VIE structures. That’s why there was a boom of Chinese IPOs before that deadline.
Granted, on September 14, 2023, a Chinese auto insurance platform became the first company that received the elusive blessing of the CSRC to list, and it did so using a VIE arrangement, breaking the long, dry spell that had plagued Chinese IPOs when she listed on the Nasdaq four days later.
However, even though VIEs received some sort of recognition from the CSRC, the VIE corporate structures still hold dubious legal status under China’s laws. Remember, VIEs purpose is to avoid being considered a Chinese company under China’s laws.
So… do you see the potential risk here?
Umm… No, I don’t get it.
Think about it. Either country could potentially increase regulations for VIEs, but if the SEC forces them to be more transparent, the VIE would not be able to circumvent China’s restrictions. That’s one risk.
Also, at some point, China’s CSRC might question whether it’s appropriate to recognize a corporate structure that was created to circumvent its laws.
Which leads me to this: What’s keeping the CCP from deciding to start reigning in those VIEs?
The answer is simple: They’re not in a hurry to do so because if misfortune should befall, it’ll be the foreign investors who’ll see their assets deflated like a punctured balloon.
🖼️ I would've added a nice image or two by now, to balance all the text and make this more appealing, but I'm only allowed to include one attachment.
If a VIE-listed company goes private at a lower valuation, businesses fail, or there’s a valuation discrepancy, the enforceability of a VIE’s contractual arrangements is unproven in Chinese courts. With VIE-listed companies, foreign investors’ recourse in the Chinese legal system is as elusive as a catfish’s whisper.
Yeah, but that’s unlikely…
Sure. Of course, I’m not saying every Chinese stock will have these issues. But it can happen. And it has happened.
The unlucky case of Luckin Coffee
Due to the lack of compliance with international audit inspections, Chinese corporate financial statements’ reliability for valuation and investment is not assured.
Such is the case of Luckin Coffee. In a bold bid to capture Wall Street’s hearts and wallets, Luckin Coffee showed up dressed in finery, flaunting alluring figures of revenue, operations, and bustling customer traffic.
At her grand debut, the stock sashayed onto the Nasdaq at $17, swirling up a storm of interested buyers to the tune of $561 million in capital.
For a fleeting moment, Luckin shimmered like a star over the financial firmament, boasting a market capitalization that soared to a heady $12 billion, with shares peaking just over $50.
Ah, but as the adage goes, ‘Truth will out.’ And out it came—the revelation of those embroidered numbers caused the company's stock to plummet like a stone tossed from a bridge, leaving a wake of investor losses and culminating in a disgraceful delisting from Nasdaq 13 months after her debut. Luckin Coffee Drops Nasdaq Appeal; Shares to Be Delisted
🖼️ I would've added an AI-generated image of a cup of Luckin Coffee jumping from a bridge, but I'm only allowed to include one attachment.
Well… but that won’t happen to me…
Uh-huh. On April 2, 2020, after announcing that employees—including its chief operating officer—falsified 2.2 billion yuan (about $310 million) in sales throughout 2019, Luckin's shares nosedived -80%.
This is from one of you unluckin bastards: I've lost 240k on Luckin Coffee, all my life savings. Now I'm broke af.
I’m sure many of you might reckon yourselves immune to a similar debacle since you think you’re smart enough to use stops to escape any runaway losses. It's time to wake up and smell the Luckin coffee. Chinese news catalysts often strike like lightning at night, and the stops you set under the sun cannot shield you from storms that explode in the moonlight. Dumbass.
Chinese regulators can be mercurial
Even though the PCAOB is currently able to perform its oversight responsibilities, concerns remain around the possibility that Chinese regulators might backtrack, potentially clamping down once again on the PCAOB's ability to access audit firms and personnel across mainland China and Hong Kong.
If that happens, the PCAOB can quickly declare a negative determination. HOWEVER, this action would only start the countdown under the HFCAA, giving U.S.-listed Chinese companies a window of TWO years to secure services from an auditor in a compliant jurisdiction or face a trading ban. That’s it.
Of course, within that time, Chinese regulators could agree once again to allow access to the PCAOB, thus resetting the two-year countdown without significant consequences.
What lurks in the shadows
Although the risk of PCAOB non-compliance looms over these financial engagements, it is the ghost of potentially misconstrued—or, let's say, creatively presented—earnings reports coming to light that should scare you most. Or, on the flip side, present the biggest opportunity.
I believe it is possible that there are several ghosts out there—ghastly financial figures dressed up a tad too finely—lingering in the shadows, unchecked and unchallenged. If they’re found and unveiled under the harsh spotlight of scrutiny, the fallout would be immediate and severe, leaving investors scrambling.
And if that happens, it’s not about diamond-holding through the plunge since the company might opt (or be forced) to delist from the U.S. exchanges.
🖼️ I would've added an AI-generated image of an attractive young Chinese ghost woman, implying both the allure of Chinese stocks, but also the risk of getting closer. However, I'm only allowed to include one attachment.
You need to understand a crucial concept. Many traders believe that if a company messes up, plunges, and gets delisted, it means the company is basically over—dead. But that’s not the case here. A delisting does not equal death.
I mean, Luckin Coffee is still out there, alive and kicking.
16,218 stores and counting, covering 240+ cities across China.
You would think that a company like that would not be able to cheat on its balance sheet. Yeah, just like you would think PwC China would notice 1,000 accountants cheated their way through the U.S. auditing curriculum.
🖼️ I would've added an AI-generated image of a Chinese accountant dabbing like a boss for getting his cheated accounting diploma, but I'm only allowed to include one attachment.
So… is it too far-fetched to believe more ghosts might come to light, now that the PCAOB can supervise the numbers?
I mentioned a flip side since you could specialize in tracking everything the PCAOB does. If you can get a whiff about increased auditing on a certain company, you might decide to play a short position in anticipation of a potential ghost coming to light. Be warned, though, that it’s not as if they tweet out which companies they’re auditing.
If I were to do it, I would research and join whatever digital saloon young Chinese ledger-keepers convene in. Perhaps I’d stumble upon a post by SumYungGuy or another pleading for advice on how to parley with the PCAOB Laowai making a fuss over his figures. The poor lad's in a pickle, you see, since he cheated the exam and doesn’t know squat.
Methodology
For the purposes of this table, a company is considered Chinese if:
  1. It has been identified as being from the PRC (the People's Republic of China) by the relevant stock exchange;
  2. It lists a PRC address as its principal executive office in filings with the SEC; or
  3. It has a majority of operations in the PRC, including a company structured offshore but whose value is ultimately tied through a relationship in the PRC.
⚠️ Some Chinese companies that use offshore corporate entities hide or do not identify their primary Chinese corporate domicile in their listing information. This complicates tracing, making it difficult to guarantee that this list captures all Chinese companies registered offshore.
I should also point out that this list does not include companies domiciled exclusively in Hong Kong or Macau.
⚠️ Remember, this list only considers Chinese companies listed on three of the largest U.S. stock exchanges: New York Stock Exchange (NYSE), Nasdaq, and NYSE American.
Oh, and btw, this isn’t a list I came up with. This info was compiled by the U.S.-China Economic and Security Review Commission. It’s their methodology and list.
Since the majority is a VIE, I’ve marked the ones that are not registered as a VIE with an asterisk (*). This is determined using the most recent annual report filed with the SEC. A company is judged to have a VIE if:
  1. It explicitly describes using a VIE to conduct all or part of its business operations in China, or
  2. It describes a subsidiary in which it has no direct equity interest but relies on contractual arrangements to exercise control and receive economic benefits from its operations in China.
⚠️ For companies that have been listed for less than a year, information contained in the company’s most recently updated investment prospectus, as filed with the SEC, is used instead.
Chinese companies listed on U.S. exchanges
Companies are arranged by the size of their current market capitalization. All companies utilize a VIE corporate structure, except those marked with an asterisk (*).
BABA Alibaba Group Holding Limited PDD Pinduoduo Inc. NTES NetEase, Inc. JD JD.com, Inc. BIDU Baidu, Inc TCOM Trip.com International, Ltd. TME Tencent Music Entertainment Group LI Li Auto BEKE KE Holdings BGNE BeiGene * ZTO ZTO Express (Cayman) Inc. YUMC Yum China Holdings Inc. EDU New Oriental Education & Technology Group, Inc. HTHT H World Group Limited * NIO NIO Inc. YMM Full Truck Alliance Co. Ltd VIPS Vipshop Holdings Limited TAL TAL Education Group LEGN Legend Biotech * MNSO Miniso * BZ Kanzhun Limited XPEV Xpeng BILI Bilibili Inc. IQ iQIYI, Inc. HCM HUTCHMED (China) Limited * ATHM Autohome Inc. QFIN Qifu Technology RLX RLX Technology LU Lufax ATAT Atour Lifestyle Holdings * WB Weibo Corporation ZLAB Zai Lab Limited * ZKH ZKH Group Ltd * YY JOYY Inc. GOTU Gaotu Techedu, Inc. MSC Studio City International Holdings Limited * GCT GigaCloud Technology Inc GDS GDS Holdings Limited ACMR ACM Research, Inc. * HOLI Hollysys Automation Technologies, Ltd. * FINV FinVolution Group JKS JinkoSolar Holding Co., Ltd. * DQ Daqo New Energy Corp. * MOMO Hello Group Inc. CSIQ Canadian Solar Inc. * EH Ehang TUYA Tuya Inc. NOAH Noah Holdings Ltd. HUYA HUYA Inc. KC Kingsoft Cloud YALA Yalla *
These are only 51 of the 261 Chinese companies currently listed on the major U.S. exchanges to comply with rule three. I kept the market cap minimum at $750M to allow for some wiggle room.
I mentioned earlier that the U.S.-China Economic and Security Review Commission had 265 tickers, but that was on January 8, 2024. Since then, three companies have been acquired, and the other one has voluntarily delisted.
As you can confirm, the vast majority is structured as a VIE.
I was going to include charts to illustrate how several Chinese stocks—aside from the ones with the biggest market caps—tend to display sudden rallies, followed by after-hours reversals. It is important to recognize them, whether you want to capitalize on them, or avoid them entirely. But I can't add any more attachments, so...
Besides, it's unlikely that many of you have even read this far without images.
Have a good day.
submitted by AlfrescoDog to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:26 Sweet-Development904 My boyfriend (19M) always says that I (19F) am stupid and wants everything in his time. What should I do?

I 19 female, I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years with John (fake name) 19 male. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 16. For context, John and I met in a group and since then we started talking. (I was dating my ex, but when I realized that I had developed feelings for John I ended that relationship.) In this group he was a big womanizer, and he talked to his ex, which didn't bother me since I never thought there was anything malicious about it. 4 months later I asked John if he felt anything for me, because he was acting romantic and sweet toward me, he said yes and then we started dating. (Note: he was jealous of my friends). A few weeks after we started dating, and all of our mutual friends knew about our relationship, and he didn't feel uncomfortable with people knowing about it, I sent him Intimate photos, he went on and sent these photos to our group, where there were more than 100 people, including our friends. When I saw it I was shocked and immediately left the group. My friends came to talk to me and so did he. He apologized, said he was going to send these photos to a group that was just him because according to him it was easier for him to see. Reading this now I realize it's a strange thing... but at the time I was so in love that I excused him. That same day we made a video call until I went to sleep, he praised me a lot, dedicated some songs to me, it was very romantic.During the next few weeks we made video calls every day, watched movies, listened to music, talked a lot until the early hours of the morning. There was a day when a girl joined the group where we were, and she and I became very good friends, there ended up being a lot of confusion because she wanted to date John, but he didn't want to. However, he always asked for intimate photos for her or for another girl in the group, he said it was to make me jealous, he ended up sending some intimate photos to her too. Well, a few months passed and I was suffering with my mental health, a few months before I met him I had tried to take my life, and I was under psychiatric care. During that time I started smoking and hurting myself, but he always helped me not to do so and always asked me to stop smoking and never use drugs. Until one day I was having an anxiety attack and felt the need to hurt myself while I was on a call with him, so he asked me to write his name on my skin with the razor. I did, he laughed. Some more time passed and I experienced what I think was an attack of schizophrenia, I saw and heard a person talking to me and asking me to do certain things that would hurt me. John stayed on video call with me while he tried to calm me down and said everything was ok and asked me to pray. That day my mother had gone to work, so I was alone at home, she wouldn't come back until 1pm. A few months later he asked me to buy some sex toys, I initially refused and was a little afraid, but then I agreed and bought my first vibrator. He always asked for videos and photos, or even for me to use the vibrator on a video call, as he always sent photos and videos and even did things on a call, I accepted. It turned out that I got sick, I couldn't walk, I felt a lot of pain, very strong cramps, I went to the hospital but it didn't help. I took some medication but none of it helped. Jonh was worried about me and asked me to go back to the hospital, which I did, but once again it didn't do much good. Then in December he asked me to buy another toy, but this time it would be a dildo. I was very afraid to buy it since I didn't have much privacy at home, but I bought it. When it arrived, he asked me to use it but I said I wasn't going to use it at that moment because I wanted to wash it first and then use it but my mother was in the living room so there was no way. He was extremely upset, he said that I had promised to use it the day I arrived and that he was tired from work and just wanted it to cheer him up a little. We argued a little and went to sleep.Cut to a few months later when he got a new job (he worked with his father), met some new people and completely changed. He became cold, distant, wanted everything his way or he would get upset and give me the silent treatment. Since then we started fighting almost every day, sometimes several times during the day. He always said he would break up with me if I didn't do what he wanted or the way he wanted, as I was "blind", so to speak, I always did everything. I don't want to go into too much detail but this but one thing you need to know is that during one of those fights he told me "welcome to hell". Since then everything has gotten worse. For me to achieve the minimum I had to do everything he wanted, how he wanted and when he wanted, in his time. If he wanted videos, I had to record them and send them to him, otherwise he He said he was going to break up with me or that he wouldn't talk to me until I sent the videos. I'm not a saint either, I often freaked out because of jealousy and when I saw that he had followed his ex I got really upset, because she was the only one who made me insecure, and he knew that. One thing I forgot to mention was that he told me at the beginning that he only followed some friends and family (he told me who was who and that if I wanted I could remove someone). Another thing I forgot to mention was that he's been in a group for a few years where his friends who are in that group always hit on him, he's kind of reciprocal with them. He never let me go there because according to him I wouldn't like the type of humor they have there... a group that sends a lot of videos and photos of naked women, women dancing.. But he refuses to leave because he "is already a long-time member there, and his friends are there", in his words. Coming back, he told me that he only followed her because she followed him first and I told him that if she followed him it was because he unblocked her, he was upset that I said that and blocked her again. Some time later I returned to the hospital with some urgency as I was unable to cope with the pain, I needed to stay there overnight whilst receiving medication. He wasn't happy about it at all since that meant there would be no videos or photos. The doctors asked me to do some tests as quickly as possible to try to find out the cause of this pain, which they thought was the kidneys (but it wasn't).This meant I had to leave the house and go to the clinics to schedule exams and take them. He was never happy when I needed to leave the house or when I went out with my family. Cut to a time later when we broke up (my initiative) and I put all the toys in the trash. He was super upset and we kind of talked back and forth (I know what many off you will think But I couldn't really break up with him. So he made me buy all the toys again. That is what happened. Well, I bought not only the toys but also some lingerie. He really liked that and it seemed like we were finally okay. But it didn't last long. Soon we fought again and broke up, once again I put everything in the trash, he came back, he forced me again Buying but he was the one who bought the things. He continued to force me to record the videos and send them to him. During this time of ending the relationship and coming back, ending the relationship and coming back, I called his friends to ask for help. John was super upset with this attitude of mine. He told me that I made a mistake and broke his trust. Then time passed and he went on a trip with his family when he returned home, it was on a day when there was a party in his city and his friends were going. When he got home he told me and said he was going to sleep. I was suspicious so I went to look at his friend's profile and guess what? His friend had just post a story where John appeared. Same t-shirt, same cap. The same face. Obviously I confronted him about it and he told me it wasn't him because he was sleeping at home. I didn't believe it but leave it behind. At this point, my best friend couldn't take it anymore, almost every day of me crying to her about John and his actions. A few weeks went by and I asked his friend if it was really John or not, he said no (I believe he was covering it up.So he went to get a tattoo, on his neck. When it was over he went to sleep. I don't remember that day well but I remember that I called him many times that night and when he answered I heard moaning.. so I hung up and told my best friend. I called again and again and when he answered I heard the sound of a car. I was devastated, I couldn't believe it. The next morning he freaked out at me, and said he was sleeping. First he said that his mother had answered the phone, then he said that he had answered the phone and that the moans were his because of the tattoo. I pretended this situation hadn't happened and we moved on. (note: I was emotionally dependent on him) Cut to January of this year, when he asked me to open up the relationship as this wasn't working. I said no, and that in my view it was like cheating but without the burden of conscience. So he continued to treat me badly. He admitted that when he first started treating me badly it was only because he wanted me to break up with him. (he thought traumatizing me and triggering me was a good idea) He told me he didn't want me to see his Facebook so I wouldn't see his relatives' profiles. When I asked about some people he followed that he had already said were cousins, he said that they were friends or that he didn't know that his friends had asked him to follow them and sending messages to them. When I followed someone he always freaked out and asked who he was over and over again, for example: I followed someone, John saw it and sent me a message asking who it was, I replied "he's a friend of mine" Then John would go on "who is he?" and again "who is he?" and again and again... Two months ago he said he wanted some time, I said very badly, he said it could be but that we wouldn't be with other people nor would there be flirting with other people. He agreed. But then we got into a big fight where he threatened me with a lawsuit, he didn't give me reasons or anything, he just said he was going to sue me. I insisted on knowing why he only said he was going to have to pay him a high price and I would probably go to prison. So for the next 3 days this was our topic of conversation, him threatening me, me crying, and asking why. Then I reached my limit On the day of the last lawsuit threat, I told my mother about him, the way he treated me and that I wanted a new cell phone number.(She didn't know, I never told her about him. Although he tried to contact her a few times. But I blocked him) So we went to buy a new contact for me, as he couldn't call me or get in touch with me anywhere. He asked some people to call my mother and my friends. My friends were talking to me and sending me screenshots of everything, so someone sent him the link to our group and he went in there and found out my new number. I was weakened when my friend told me that he was crying and that he told him that he loved me and that he was afraid of losing me. So I said okay I could talk to him. He told me some things like that he was sorry for making me suffer. I tried to understand his side. We came back. But I told him that the first thing he did I would leave. I did not go. And I regret it. He was never affectionate, or cute with me again. He continued to force me to send him photos and videos. And doing what he wanted. He was upset when I left. He didn't like me posting full body photos or showing more. Whereas he could go around shirtless, send shirtless photos to his group, post shirtless photos online. Once he published a photo of a photo with his cousin and hid it from me so I wouldn't see it (I knew he was going to this party, he had told me, it was a family party) Since then, I went to lawyers to ask for advice. One of the people I managed to talk to, as it was online and free, told me to contact the police and that what he was doing was wrong. Every time I ask him something he gets upset and says they are useless questions, that I'm stupid, I don't understand anything. Whenever he forces me to record something, he never sends anything. He always says he's tired, But if his friends ask him to go out or go to dinner or do anything, he'll go, even if he's tired. This is it. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really afraid that he'll do something, after so many threats, and all the lies. I have the support of my family and friends. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes, I used the translator and tried to explain more or less all the information you should know. Please be friendly.
submitted by Sweet-Development904 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:24 WarriorMelee Favorite GotG Quote?

Mine (From Online)
 YONDU The drawer you want to open. Has this symbol on it, okay? Groot takes it. He looks at Yondu and NODS. And then, slowly, HE PLACES IT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD. YONDU (CONT'D) What? No. ROCKET He thinks you want him to wear it as a hat. YONDU That's not what I said. Groot takes it off his head. GROOT I am Groot. ROCKET (TRANSLATING) He's relieved that you don't want him to. GROOT I am Groot. ROCKET He hates hats. GROOT I am Groot. ROCKET On anyone, not just himself. GROOT I am Groot. ROCKET One minute you think someone has a weird-shaped head. The next minute, it's just because you realize part of that head is a hat. (TO GROOT) That's why you don't like hats? Groot nods 
submitted by WarriorMelee to u/WarriorMelee [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:24 ZealousidealWar201 Venting about an ex

Okay so, this did happen a little bit ago and is sort of long so bear with me. Honestly just posting to vent and actually write my story down and maybe hear peoples opinions on it lol. We have broken up since, but still get texts from him every now and then, also why I want to post.
I 21F was dating a 24M, started in beginning of 2021. Things went great whatever for about a year, moved three hours away for school. Long distance but not too far right. I would see him throughout the semester pretty often, he saw me once for a concert that his other friends were at. Summer rolls around, I wanna break up but got back together like next day so never went through with it. I spend the entire summer in the place I previously lived, which was where he lived as well. The summer was a little awkward with him because of our “break up”, but then one of my very good friends passed away. So clearly I’m going through it, additionally had a bunch of other issues. The time came for me to go back to school so back to long distance, he calls me one day saying one if his friends wanted to h/u with someone, so my ex suggested his ex to the friend. For some reason I believed that, the friend “used my exes” phone to text the ex. Later that night found out from a friend of a friend that he had texted the ex for his own benefit, but never actually acted on it, just said a bunch of stuff about hooking up when he was drunk. I know I probably should have left him then, but was struggling so much and didn’t want to go through a break up on top of everything.
Flash forward a couple of months, things are alright. I’m working an overnight shift and went on my break, saw his snap map at home, with another girl (who just so happens to be friends with his ex, great right). So I called him, asked what he’s up to, he says he’s watching tv at home alone. Which I know is a lie and as soon as he said that her location went off, so I yelled at him and went off for him lying to me. I let it go, New Years rolls around and I visit him, go through his phone, found out that he is moving to a new apartment which is whatever, but needed a roommate. So guess who asked to be his roommate, the girl. So I’m flipped out, I tell him he can move in with this girl and break up with me or not and stay with me. I know this sounds so bad haha. Anyways, unbeknownst to me at this time, she had told some friends that she liked him and she knew damn well we were together. The last two weeks of us being together, things were pretty sus, she didn’t have the location on anymore, but sometimes would and would be with him. Amongst other strange things. The last time it happened, I called him one night as usual. He didn’t answer and was playing “video games”. So the next day we are on the phone, and jokingly I said “I know what you did wrong blah blah”, to which then he said “oh you’re mad she came over last night” so clearly then I was actually mad and got into a two day argument about it about how I’m wrong for getting mad at every little thing if he’s with other girls bla bla bla. So we officially broke up. That night I texted him a sweeter message because I yelled over the phone, just to end things on a better note. Found out the next day he had the girl over that night and hooked up. And she was still there when I texted him that message. Awesome right! They probably hooked up before that too but oh well. We talked for a little after the break up but eventually stopped and he will message random stuff everyone now and then about how he misses me and what not which is just annoying at this point. Also, come to found out he ended up hooking up with his ex too finally after we broke up. And yes I know there were multiple times I should’ve left him but at least I have now! Lol. Thanks for listening to my rant!
submitted by ZealousidealWar201 to dating [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:10 Spirited-Charity4144 AITA for ending a friendship because he wanted to be more than friends

I (32F) met the guy (34M) on the Internet when we were still teenagers - about 16 years ago. At that time, he lived on another continent, and as we were chatting, it got a bit romantic and we started “online dating”. It was a very childish and innocent thing, basically just chatting on Facebook every day and calling each other “love” and sending each other romantic songs, nothing serious. After about half a year, he found a real-life girlfriend and asked me to end the “online relationship” but stay friends. My teenage little soul was a bit hurt, but I found a real-life boyfriend soon after as well and we remained friends. It was kind of on and off for many years, we would keep in touch but it wasn’t intense. A few years ago he moved to the country next to mine for work, and this summer, he told me he would like to visit me in my city, and finally get to meet each other in person. I was excited and said yes. It went fine, we had a lot of fun, I showed him around and we talked a lot, but not really about any personal stuff. He left after two days.
Last month, he wrote me a message that he would be visiting again this month. I was actually a bit annoyed, because we didn’t discuss it previously, and he would be visiting over the weekend. Work has been stressful lately and I am usually very tired at the end of the week, so I was looking forward to having the weekend to myself and just staying in bed honestly, but I felt it would be rude to phrase it like that and I didn’t want to lie about having something planned. I was very tired on the Friday night, but we still met up. Looking back, I probably missed some red flags back then, but I was really tired and thought it was due to my bad mood that I was feeling that way. For example, when we met, I just said hi, and he was clearly expecting a hug or a kiss. We discussed it and I told him that it’s not really something I’m comfortable with, as it’s reserved only for my closest friends and family in my culture. He seemed hurt by that, but we then didn’t discuss it further. He also told me he brought me gifts, and since we met in front of his hotel, he asked me to go with him to get them, but I said I would just wait outside - tbh, I didn’t really suspect anything bad, but it would just feel weird going to someone’s hotel room when I’m not a guest at that hotel, if it makes sense. So he brought the things outside. We went for drinks and had quite a nice evening. I called it a night at 10 because I was falling asleep. He offered to walk me home, and I refused, not really because I didn’t want him to know where I lived, but again, it’s not something I’m used to, since all my life I’ve pretty much walked guys home and not vice versa - I’m just like that. Again, it left kind of a weird aftertaste.
We met up again in the morning and went for a walk and then for lunch. On the way back when we were on public transport, the conversation started going towards our relationship. I could immediately sense that, and I tried to redirect it elsewhere, but then he asked me how I would “classify” our relationship. I immediately said: “Friends.” I thought it was the end of that, but he started going on about how he had thought it would be just meeting an online acquaintance, but realised that he really liked me in person etc. I told him to stop right there, because I had bad experience with guys I had been friends with later “realising” they liked me, and when I told them I didn’t feel that way, they cut ties with me completely - and I’ve lost a few dear friends like that. I said that it was a territory I didn’t want to go it, but I honestly felt like it was falling on deaf ears. He kept going on about how he wouldn’t be able to be in a long distance relationship with me though, because he would just miss me too much, so it would all need to be carefully planned, but next year his work would allow him to basically be working remotely etc. I felt like I was in the Twilight zone. I had clearly expressed that I didn’t feel that way, and didn’t want to discuss it further, and there he was basically planning our marriage. I felt like I couldn’t have been more clearer before, and because I didn’t want to start hysterically screaming in public, I just stayed really silent and basically zoned out until we got off, and I basically curtly said goodbye and went home.
He texted me about ten minutes later saying that he was “confused” by my reaction, and asked if he had said anything wrong. I replied that yes, basically everything, since I clearly expressed my boundary and he didn’t respect it. He called me cold and said I could have at least hear him out (as if I didn’t listen to him going on about it for at least fifteen minutes straight), and I said that I only saw us as friends and wasn’t moving from that position. He argued that it wasn’t always that way and I replied that if there ever was any romantic feeling from my side, that ship sailed fifteen years ago. He asked me to meet him again and talk about it, but I replied that I really didn’t feel like there was anything more to talk about on this subject. He tried again in the evening, asking me to meet him again, I just left him on read. He left the following day without us meeting again and we haven’t talked since. I’m fine with that, I didn’t try to initiate contact and honestly probably never will again. Later I found out he blocked me everywhere anyway.
But as it wasn’t the first time something like this happened to me, I started thinking about it and whether I wasn’t sending mixed signals or something. I went over what was said many times in my head, if I wasn’t too harsh, or if I didn’t say or do something to make him feel like he could make that move (I did get a bit drunk on the first night since I was so tired and just two glasses of wine made me fairly tipsy, but I think I still remember everything I said that night and we just talked about work and travel and innocent things like that). Basically I still stand by what I did, but because this just seems to keep happening, I’m now doubting myself and I think I must be doing something wrong.
He also met my mother during these two visits (just briefly, not like it was an official introduction, we just went to an event where my mom also was, so they only exchanged a few words), and for some reason I can’t bring myself to tell her about what happened. She kept talking about him after the first visit, and I felt like she was trying to push him on me because she found him really nice and I’ve been single for a long time, and she’s been since asking about him, and I just avoid the subject and don’t react because I feel uncomfortable (and I feel stupid about feeling that way).
Was I TA or did I do the right thing to cut it short and I’m simply weird like that?
submitted by Spirited-Charity4144 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:10 just_melancholia N mother doesn’t approve of my relationship, makes outrageous racist comments and claims she lost me

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying: “well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that” then she continued with: “please take birth control precautions before you regret it” “don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you” and the cherry on top was: “I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him. I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C… I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction. All this hurts me so much. I don’t know what to do. In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s side culture of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
So I don’t really know how to handle this anymore. And I’m also just venting and need some support.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and claims she lost me cause I don’t do enough for her.
submitted by just_melancholia to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:05 Filmrat Interpretation of Little Foot Big Foot.

I was surprised I didn't already see more dicussion here about this song so I wanted to give my 2 cents.
The song is generally about how losing your father at a young age leads you to a life of crime that you need to make money off of to survive without your fathers income. The song uses a bunch of slang terms for selling drugs like yay and brick. He also says he had to kill someone that he thought would turn on him. He says this here "I ain’t seen him in a minute I think he might flip Had to hit him with the stick, man you niggas ain’t, woo."
Also his daddy went to the clink, meaning prison. What I think Glover is trying to say is its a cycle. But the song is like a Wade in the Water moment where he's really warning or telling people not to fall into this cycle, no matter the excitement that comes with it. If you're in the lifestyle, you're the little foot, and death and the law are the big foot. Little foot because you have to be sneaky, use code language, and not get caught. But there's a big foot that will eventually step on you.
submitted by Filmrat to donaldglover [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:02 ObligationGreedy8281 AITJ For not encouraging(forcing) my kids to communicate more with their dad?

I made one other post on here in regards to my husband but would like insight on some things so little by little will probably post different scenarios to get outsiders insight on situations.
Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)
submitted by ObligationGreedy8281 to okopshow [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:00 ObligationGreedy8281 AITJ for not encouraging(forcing to a degree) my kids to try to communicate with their dad more?

Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)
submitted by ObligationGreedy8281 to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:58 bigchives Comparing GrapheneOS with Stock Android: What's Different?

GrapheneOS and stock Android are both OS options for phones. GrapheneOS focuses on keeping your info safe. Stock Android, on the other hand, offers many handy features. Let's dive into how these two differ in privacy, security, and what you can do. This way, you can pick the one that suits your needs best.

Key Takeaways:

GrapheneOS Features

GrapheneOS is known for its strong focus on privacy and security. This makes it perfect for those who want to keep their data safe. Now, let's look at what makes GrapheneOS stand out from the rest.

Sandboxed Google Play Services

One of GrapheneOS's key features is sandboxed Google Play services. This means apps can't freely access your private data. They're limited to a safe area. This helps prevent data leaks and stops apps from seeing more than they should.

Regular Updates for Security Maintenance

GrapheneOS keeps devices safe by offering frequent security updates. These updates fix any new vulnerabilities that might arise. This way, the system is always up-to-date, keeping your device secure.

Attack Surface Reduction Measures

GrapheneOS uses techniques to reduce the chances of different types of attacks. It limits how much apps can interact with the system, blocking some attacks right at the start. It also includes special features that make it harder for attackers to exploit the system.

Enhanced Heap Memory Corruption Defense

Heaps are a common target for hackers, but GrapheneOS strengthens against this. It uses its own memory management system to protect against heap corruption. This includes special memory handling to make attacks harder.

Robust Memory Exploit Detection and Prevention

GrapheneOS is ahead of the game in detecting and stopping memory exploits. It has tools that spot and fix important memory bugs. This helps keep your device safe from complex attacks that target memory use.

Official Production Support for Pixel Devices

GrapheneOS supports many Pixel devices officially. This includes the Pixel 8 Pro and other new Pixel devices. Users of Pixel devices can get the added security and privacy GrapheneOS offers.
After learning about GrapheneOS, it's time to look at Stock Android's setup and features in the next section.

Stock Android Setup and Features

Setting up Stock Android on your device is simple. Its user-friendly interface makes it easy. When you turn on your device, you'll follow some steps to make it yours. This includes picking a language, connecting to Wi-Fi, and signing in to Google.
Stock Android works perfectly with Google's many services. Thanks to Google Play services, you get millions of apps and games from the Play Store. Just sign in with your Google account to start downloading your favorite apps, from work tools to social apps.
Stock Android also brings you Google Maps. It gives you precise directions and updates on traffic in real time. It's great for finding your way in a car or on foot, showing you the best routes and interesting places nearby.
With Google Keyboard, typing is easier and better. It guesses your next words, lets you swipe to type, and supports different languages. This means typing on your phone is faster and more accurate.

Key Features of Stock Android:

Features Stock Android
User-friendly setup
Google Play Store access
Google Maps integration
Enhanced typing experience with Google Keyboard

Functionality Comparison

GrapheneOS and stock Android are much alike in basic phone tasks. Yet, they have key differences.

GrapheneOS Functionality

GrapheneOS values substance over flashy marketing. It cares deeply about privacy and security. By not including Google services, it focuses more on protecting users.
Its main goal is making your device safe from attack. It does this by limiting what attackers can do and safeguarding the core part of the operation system.
It also stops attackers from taking full control even if they somehow get in. This is done through a feature called verified boot.
By removing unneeded code, GrapheneOS makes attacks from far away, close by, or online less likely. It adds layers of protection to apps and the system, making them much harder to exploit.
GrapheneOS Functionality Features Description
Sandboxed Play Services A sandboxed Play Services feature that provides better app compatibility, functionality, and security compared to MicroG.
Push Notifications without Play Services GrapheneOS allows push notifications to work fine without Play Services for many apps.
Privacy-Focused Network Toggle GrapheneOS offers a network toggle without leaks and prefers fine-grained VPNs for enhanced security.
GrapheneOS finds a sweet spot between being private, easy to use, and secure. It designs features to challenge any threats.

Stock Android Functionality

Stock Android, made by Google, aims for everyone. It has many features that cater to diverse needs.
One highlight is Android Auto, making your phone and car work together. This way, you keep your hands off the phone while driving yet enjoy many useful features.
Another cool feature is Now Playing. It shows what song is playing without you needing to open your phone. This is handy for finding new music.
Stock Android Functionality Features Description
Android Auto Android Auto provides seamless integration between Android devices and compatible vehicles for hands-free access to navigation, communication, and entertainment features.
Now Playing Now Playing feature The identifies and displays the currently playing song on the lock screen.
Such features make stock Android attractive for those who want a versatile system. It's packed with tools and tricks to make your life easier.
Remember, GrapheneOS and stock Android are both good for getting things done. Yet, GrapheneOS shines in protecting your privacy. This might mean fewer but more secure features.

Privacy and Security

When you pick a system for your phone, think about privacy and safety. GrapheneOS and stock Android protect your data in unique ways.

GrapheneOS Privacy and Security Features

GrapheneOS focuses heavily on keeping your data safe. It offers many tools to boost your privacy and security. These include limiting data collection and secure updates.

Stock Android Privacy and Security Considerations

Stock Android, made by Google, has its security perks. But it's heavily tied to Google's services. This can lead to less privacy.
Both GrapheneOS and stock Android care about security. However, GrapheneOS's special focus on privacy sets it apart. It's great for anyone who really values their data privacy.

Comparison Table: GrapheneOS vs. Stock Android Privacy and Security

Privacy and Security Features GrapheneOS Stock Android
Data Collection Minimizes data collection May collect user data through Google services
Updates Regular secure updates Regular updates to address security vulnerabilities
Google Services Access Restricted access to Google services System-level integration with Google services
Permission Controls Strict permission controls Permission customization options
Table: A comparison of privacy and security features offered by GrapheneOS and stock Android
In summary, if you're big on privacy, you'll like what GrapheneOS offers. It's a top choice. But if Google's services matter a lot to you, stock Android might be the way to go. It's not as privacy-focused, but it's great for those that love Google's features.

App Compatibility

GrapheneOS and stock Android both excel in app compatibility, but GrapheneOS faces challenges with some banking apps. These apps need special access. Yet, GrapheneOS aims for the highest privacy and security, sometimes making these needs clash.
Many apps are compatible with GrapheneOS, and the project actively works with developers. It encourages them to make their apps work with GrapheneOS. This allows users to enjoy the operating system's enhanced privacy and security safely.
Stock Android, on the other hand, has superior compatibility with all apps, including those from banks. It works across many devices and is chosen by developers. Its wide use makes it easier for developers to ensure app compatibility.
To make the app experience smoother on GrapheneOS, users can choose alternative apps that work well with the system. Also, the project is always updating to boost app compatibility through community efforts.

Recommended Banking Apps for GrapheneOS

Many banking apps face issues on GrapheneOS. Still, several banking apps perform well on this system:
Remember, although these apps are compatible with GrapheneOS, it's wise to confirm with your bank or financial institute for the latest compatibility updates.
As GrapheneOS grows, its app compatibility, including banking apps, is expected to get better. The project is dedicated to offering an experience that values security and privacy while ensuring apps work well.

User Feedback and Experience

GrapheneOS is great for privacy and security, which users love. They feel their data is safer and that Google tracks them less. Plus, it works well with most Android apps. This means users can still do what they want while keeping their privacy a top priority.
Some say that stock Android is smoother and has more useful features than GrapheneOS. They think that GrapheneOS focuses too much on privacy and misses out on some key features. For example, it doesn't work as closely with Google services and apps.
GrapheneOS users share their thoughts in forums, social media, and by talking to the team. They give detailed advice, like how to make permission prompts even safer. They also want the Auditor feature to be better explained, especially to journalists.
Users often request a better way to know when there are system updates. They want to be able to choose when to update, so it doesn't disrupt their day. They also ask about how to use the app pinning and auto-reboot timer, looking for more info.
Users also need more info about the Android Recovery system in GrapheneOS. They want to know more about its role in updating the system. And they worry about any issues the updates might bring.
Some users find features in GrapheneOS that remind them of Google. They want clearer information about these features. This way, they can understand them better.
App compatibility is an issue for some. A few apps won’t work on GrapheneOS because they fear security risks. Some just crash. This is why some users carry a second phone for specific apps, like banking or gaming.

User Profile Usage on GrapheneOS

GrapheneOS encourages the use of separate profiles for different apps. This keeps your privacy and security levels high. Users should have profiles for general use, social media, work, and private matters.

GrapheneOS Installation Ease

Installing GrapheneOS is known for being easy among custom OSes. The web interface makes the process straightforward. However, installing it on various computers might need extra steps sometimes.

GrapheneOS Benefits and Drawbacks

Why do people like GrapheneOS? It's great with most apps, makes you more secure, and doesn't let Google track you much. Plus, it backs up your apps very safely.
But it's not perfect. Some apps, like Facebook Messenger, have issues. The fingerprint sensor on the Google Pixel 6 isn’t the best. And sometimes you might face problems with internet when using a VPN.

Google Pixel 6 User Experience

The Google Pixel 6 is seen as a good buy by users. It offers good features and performance for its cost. However, the fingerprint sensor and the size of the phone get mixed reviews. The camera's quality also varies among users.

Overall Recommendation

Despite some issues, GrapheneOS is recommended by many for its strong privacy and security. It's a good choice for those who worry about Google spying on them.

User Feedback Overview

Feedback Request/Suggestion
Implementation of safeguards in on-demand permission prompts Enhancing permission controls for improved security
Better explanation and marketing of the Auditor feature Targeting investigative journalists as potential users
Proposal for a notification system for system updates Allowing manual installation of updates
Inquiry about the functionality of app pinning with auto-reboot timer Clarification on how the feature works
Request for clarification on Android Recovery system Understanding its role and potential issues with OTA updates
Identification of features resembling "Googlisms" Clear explanations and disclosures for informed usage
Challenges with app compatibility on de-googled version Issues with banking apps, food delivery apps, Uber, and mobile gaming

Future Development and Updates

GrapheneOS gets better thanks to the hard work of gifted developers. They're always updating it to make it safer and easier to use.
Updates bring new security patches, app changes, and more. For instance, new kernel updates might change to versions like 5.15.151 or 6.1.80. Apps like Vanadium might jump to new versions like 124.0.6367.159.0.
They use tags to give updates for certain devices. For example, a tag like 2024040100 might mean a special update for certain phones. These updates are meant to make your experience even better.
Recently, they made sure that VPN apps can't accidentally leak your web requests. They also update apps like PDF Viewer to make sure they run smoother. These updates are all about making your phone more enjoyable to use.
GrapheneOS also pays special attention to certain phones. For example, the Pixel Fold might receive updates specific to its design. This keeps your device running well and safe.
They change settings to make your phone safer and easier to use. For security, a new memory tag setting is available. You might see different settings based on what phone you have, making everything more user-friendly.
Improving apps is just as important to GrapheneOS. Apps like TalkBack, which helps by reading the screen, might get better with version 14.1. These changes aim to make using your favorite apps a smoother experience.
They also make technical updates to stay cutting-edge. A recent kernel update, like 5.15.149, makes your device more secure and faster.
Even the Camera app and GmsCompatConfig (used for Google services) get updated. This ensures your phone is more dependable and full of new features.

Official Device Support

GrapheneOS officially supports many Pixel models including the Pixel 8 Pro and Pixel 5a. These devices let you make the most of GrapheneOS's features.
Some Pixel phones, like the Pixel 5, won't get any more updates. Yet, the Pixel 4a and 4 XL keep getting support, like better security. This means you can still use these devices safely.
The 8th generation Pixel devices offer top security levels. They're supported for 7 years from their launch with features custom-tailored to protect your device.
Pixel devices get different levels of support based on their generation. The 8th generation has a longer 7-year support compared to 6th and 7th generation models, which gets 5 years. This shows GrapheneOS's focus on lasting security and usability.

Future Focus and Community Support

The team behind GrapheneOS aims to make major improvements in device, system, and software security. Their focus isn't on supporting every device but on ensuring profound security.
GrapheneOS has a strong community that loves its security. This community's dedication to privacy drives the project's advancement and success.

Related Alternatives

CalyxOS, RattlesnakeOS, DivestOS, and Ubuntu Touch offer different privacy and security features. Exploring these options can help you find the right system for your needs.

Benefits and Drawbacks of GrapheneOS

GrapheneOS offers big benefits for privacy and security. It keeps your data safe and lets you control your online world better. But, there are drawback to consider too.

Benefits of GrapheneOS

Drawbacks of GrapheneOS

Deciding on GrapheneOS means balancing privacy with how easy your phone is to use. It's great for keeping your data safe. But, you might not find all the apps and features you're used to.

Conclusion

After using GrapheneOS for a year on a Google Pixel 6A, its focus on privacy and security shines. It updates quickly, in about 5 minutes, keeping your phone safe. Occasionally, small graphical glitches happen but are easy to fix.
Most day-to-day apps work well from the Google Play Store and Neo Store. The battery life is outstanding, lasting days even with lots of use.
It integrates well with Google's main products like the Play Store and Calendar. Yet, using these services means thinking about your privacy trade-offs.
When making privacy choices, think about how you use technology and what you're comfortable with. The author has used Apple phones for privacy extensively, which informs this perspective.
GrapheneOS makes Android more secure by adding extra permission controls, reminiscent of iOS. It lets users manage apps' accesses like location and storage.
A Google Pixel phone is a good choice for GrapheneOS because it supports other operating systems. Though some users find the user interface a bit challenging, they like its simple design.
To get push notifications working, the author installed Sandboxed Play Services. Going without Google Play Services can be hard due to its deep ties to Google.
With Android 12, apps start to adapt to your phone’s colors, which looks great, especially on the Pixel 7 Pro. This new look makes the home screen feel personalized and clean.
GrapheneOS takes security and privacy seriously, stepping beyond regular Android. Its multiple profiles help keep your data isolated, enhancing privacy.
Setting up GrapheneOS is easy, thanks to a user-friendly web interface. Most apps work well, giving users a satisfying experience, even with compatibility.
Battery life and performance are as good as regular Android systems, showing it can be just as efficient, with better privacy controls.
With GrapheneOS, users have less tracking and more privacy, surpassing typical Android’s privacy. Yet, there are issues with some specific apps and services.
GrapheneOS with a VPN sometimes has connectivity problems, possibly due to app compatibility. Generally, using it on a Google Pixel 6 is a good experience, despite minor issues.
GrapheneOS Stock Android
+ Strong focus on privacy and security + Wide range of features and convenience
+ Streamlined updates with quick completion time + Regular updates and feature additions
+ Smooth app compatibility for day-to-day apps + Better compatibility with all apps
+ Impressive battery life + Similar battery life and performance
+ Seamless integration with Google products - System-level integration with Google services
+ Additional privacy controls and permissions toggles - Limited privacy control over Google services
+ Multiple user profiles for enhanced privacy + Standard user profile and features

Considerations for Choosing an Operating System

When you compare GrapheneOS and stock Android, think about what matters most. If you are very concerned about privacy and security, GrapheneOS is great. It keeps your data safe and your device secure. However, if you like having many features, stock Android might suit you better.
GrapheneOS is especially good for Pixel devices. It promises many years of support. For example, 8th generation Pixels get 7 years, while older models get 5 years. GrapheneOS might not work with Android Auto or some banking apps. But it's very secure and focuses on keeping your privacy safe.
Stock Android works well with Google apps and has lots of features. You can use Google Maps and Google Keyboard easily. But, if you switch to GrapheneOS, you lose things like Google Pay and some unique Google features.
Choosing between GrapheneOS and stock Android is all about what you need and like. Think about your privacy wishes and how much you value convenience. Then, you can make a smart choice that meets your needs.

FAQ

What are the key distinctions between GrapheneOS and Stock Android?

GrapheneOS focuses on keeping your data safe and private. Stock Android, on the other hand, comes with many useful features.

What are some of the features provided by GrapheneOS?

GrapheneOS gives you a more private and secure playground. It does this by keeping Google Play services separate. It also keeps your phone updated regularly.

How is the setup process and what features does Stock Android provide?

Stock Android is easy to get started with. It includes popular Google services like the Play Store, Maps, and Keyboard.

What are some of the functionalities offered by GrapheneOS and Stock Android?

Both operating systems let you do the basic stuff. But GrapheneOS skips Android Auto and Stock Android has a cool Now Playing feature.

What distinguishes GrapheneOS and Stock Android in terms of privacy and security?

GrapheneOS works hard to make sure your information stays private. It does this by not sharing much with Google. Stock Android, however, is closely tied with Google services, which might affect your privacy.

How is the app compatibility for GrapheneOS and Stock Android?

GrapheneOS might not work with every app. Some banking apps might not fully function on it. Stock Android usually works well with all apps.

What is the user feedback and experience for GrapheneOS and Stock Android?

Users really like GrapheneOS for its commitment to privacy and security. Stock Android is preferred by those who want a smooth experience with lots of features.

How are the future development and updates for GrapheneOS and Stock Android?

GrapheneOS depends on donations to improve with new features. Both systems get updated regularly. Stock Android gets these updates from a bigger team.

What are the benefits and drawbacks of using GrapheneOS?

Using GrapheneOS means your data is more protected. But you might miss out on using some popular apps and features.

What should I consider when choosing between GrapheneOS and Stock Android?

Think about what matters most to you. If privacy and security are top concerns, GrapheneOS is a great choice. Stock Android is better if you want a smoother experience with many features.
submitted by bigchives to AndroidRootPokemonGo [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:51 adventurepaul E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 13th, 2024

Hi - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth with sources in the full edition. Let's dive in...
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STAT OF THE WEEK: Kohl's sales have shrunk by $2.3B since 2019. During that same period of time, the company lost 1.3M customers who no longer shop with the retailer.
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BigCommerce is exploring a sale after attracting takeover interest, according to sources who chose to remain anonymous due to the confidentiality of the information. The sources said that BigCommerce asked investment bank Qatalyst Partners to solicit interest from potential buyers that include private equity firms, but that the discussions are at an early stage and no deal is certain.
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Squarespace announced that it will be going private in a $6.9B all-cash deal with private-equity firm Permira, who agreed to pay $44 per share (a roughly 30% premium). Although Squarespace never lost 90% of its share price like BigCommerce, it has experienced a tumultuous time on the market since its IPO in May 2021 — opening around $49.50 and at times trading in the low $20s. Shares rose nearly 13% to $43 in pre-market trading upon release of the news.
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ByteDance filed a lawsuit in US federal court seeking to block the new law that would force the sale or ban of the app within the country. The lawsuit challenges the law on constitutional grounds, also citing commercial, technical, and legal hurdles, as well as opposition from Beijing. Legal experts say the legal battle will play out in the courts in coming months and likely will reach the Supreme Court.
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OpenAI unveiled its newest model, GPT-4o, designed to turn ChatGPT into a digital personal assistant that can engage in real-time, spoken conversations and interact with users using text, screenshots, photos, documents, and charts. The new version of ChatGPT also has memory capabilities, which means it can learn from previous conversations. It will be available to both unpaid and premium customers alike. OpenAI also announced that it would be launching a desktop app with the GPT-4o capabilities, giving users another platform to interact with the technology outside of a web browser.
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Amazon launched in South Africa last week, marking its first marketplace in sub-Saharan Africa, and bringing its total number of marketplaces worldwide to 22. To launch the new marketplace, Amazon is offering free delivery on first orders and on subsequent orders above R500 (about $27), access to 3,000 pick-up points, status updates via WhatsApp to track orders, 30 day refunds, and 24/7 customer support. The marketplace was supposed to launch in the country in 2023, but got delayed due to changes in priorities within Amazon.
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In an unlikely partnership, Instacart is partnering with Uber Eats to expand into the restaurant delivery business. Instacart will add a new tab for restaurant delivery to its app in the coming weeks, the listings will be provided by Uber, and the food will be picked up and delivered by Uber Eats drivers. Customers will receive the same prices on both apps and Instacart will receive an affiliate commission on orders. It's a strange partnership though given that Instacart and Uber Eats actively compete on grocery delivery. Are they planning to merge? Uber says no.
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Apple's advertisement for its latest iPad Pro sparked criticism for showing an animation of musical instruments, paint cans, cameras, record players, and other symbols of creativity being crushed by a giant machine, with the output being the new iPad Pro, which the company says is the thinnest Apple product ever. In this context, “crushing” was supposed to symbolize “consolidating” and “compacting” — with the visuals meant to showcase how the new iPad Pro puts the power of all these tools into the hands of creators in one thin device. However online commenters criticized the ad as insensitive and as symbolizing a “destruction of the human experience.” The ad hit the web on Tuesday, and by Thursday, Apple issued a mea culpa and apologized for the campaign.
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Google is encouraging merchants to enable conversion annotations on their Google Shopping ads, which offer social proof that highlight a product's popularity. Conversion annotations like “best selling” or “3K shopped here recently” would provide visual cues about a product’s popularity or sales performance directly in the ad unit. Annotations like these are par for the course with e-commerce retailers including Amazon, Walmart, and Temu, which all employ similar tactics. They can provide valuable info for shoppers and also help with conversions. However they also open data privacy concerns, given that Google is not the actual retailer or marketplace selling the items, so a merchant would have to share this purchase history data from their e-commerce platform with Google — which technically most already do by giving access to GA4.
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Shein is attempting to join the National Retail Federation as it pursues regulatory approval to go public in the US. The company believes that NRF membership would boost its chances of receiving SEC approval. However so far, Shein has been rejected numerous times. An anonymous source familiar with the matter said someone with heavy influence at the NRF is strongly against the Shein's admittance. However board members who spoke to CNBC said that Shein's membership application hadn't come up in meetings, and that they aren't involved in deciding which companies are granted access.
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Amazon is leading the way with selling home goods, capturing 18.8% of consumer home furnishings spending, compared to Walmart's 7.3% market share. Notably, Amazon’s gains in the furniture category come in spite of the company’s decision to phase out two of its three furniture brands last year.
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Stanley, which is projected to do $750M in sales this year, up from $73M in 2019, after seeing its water bottles become a status symbol thanks to TikTok, is now expanding into trendier accessories. The company is launching a line of bags called the All-Day Collection which include a mini cooler, backpack cooler, and Quencher Carry-All, designed for someone to sling their Stanley over their hip.
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Jack Dorsey left the Bluesky board and deleted his account on the service he helped kickstart, claiming that Bluesky was “literally repeating all the mistakes” he made while running Twitter. Dorsey says he never intended Bluesky to be an independent company, but rather, an open source protocol that Twitter was supposed to be the first client of. He also confirmed that he is financially backing Nostr, another decentralized Twitter-like service popular among crypto enthusiasts and run by an anonymous founder.
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Amazon is deploying 50 electric trucks in California, which it claims is the largest EV fleet in the country, as part of its mission to eliminate pollution from its global operations. The trucks will be integrated into first-mile operations, moving goods from container ships at the ports to fulfillment centers, as well as middle-mile operations, transporting packages from fulfillment centers to delivery centers.
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Wix launched a new tool called AI Portfolio Creator, which allows a user to upload and organize large-scale image collections, select the type of portfolio they want, and then have the AI tool sort and generate a portfolio with clustered images, recommended titles and descriptions, and personalized layout options.
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Amazon is now requiring all dietary supplements to be verified by a third-party testing, inspection, and certification organization — which is something that not even the FDA requires. Amazon is the largest supplement retailer in the US ahead of Walmart and Target, and its new requirements are expected to put more pressure on the industry, which is being scrutinized more than ever.
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Alibaba is revamping its flagship retail website Taobao for the first time in seven years with a focus on providing a smoother search and buying process. The website overhaul comes ahead of the 618 sales event, China's second-largest annual shopping event. A few weeks ago I reported that Eddie Wu, the CEO of Alibaba Group, would now be directly overseeing its domestic e-commerce arm which includes Taobao and Tmall Group, and it sounds like he's hitting the ground running with his new responsibilities.
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Amazon is hosting its first-ever Amazon Book Sale, a new shopping event starting on May 15th that offers up to 50% off print best sellers and up to 80% off Kindle Books. The six day shopping event will exclusively run in the US, and Prime-membership is not required to take advantage of the deals.
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FTX reported that nearly all of its customers will receive the money back that they are owed, two years after the cryptocurrency exchange imploded. The company owes about $11.2B to its customers and estimates that it has between $14.5B and $16.3B to distribute to them. The caveat is that customers will receive the USD value of their holdings at the time of the exchange collapse, and not the actual crypto holdings themselves, which means that they'll miss out on all gains during the past two years during which BTC went from around $16k to now over $60k. Better than nothing though, that's for sure.
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800,000 consumers in Europe and the US were duped into sharing card details and other sensitive personal data with a network of fake online designer shops operated from China, which comprised one of the largest scams of its kind with 76,000 fake websites created. The scammers used expired domains to host its fake shops in order to help avoid detection by websites or brand owners, and more than 1M orders were processed in the past three years alone.
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Beyond Inc, which owns Bed Bath & Beyond, Overstock, and Zulily, reported that its Q1 net loss swelled to $72M from $10M a year ago, while its operating loss widened to $58M from $8M. The company's active customers grew to 6M, up 26% from nearly 5M a year ago, however, its average order value dropped to $173 from $220 a year earlier.
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TikTok will begin automatically labeling AI generated content when it is uploaded from certain platforms like DALL.E 3, Adobe Firefly, Photoshop, and Microsoft Copilot. TikTok will also start attaching Content Credentials to content, which will remain on the media when downloaded, allowing other platforms to read the metadata.
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eBay is testing an Add To Cart button in search results that opens a Quick View window, allowing buyers to skip the listing page. Technically the button should probably not be labeled “Add To Cart” since it doesn't perform that action, but rather, displays a quick view window with three buttons: Buy It Now, Add To Cart, View All Details. Sellers are worried that buyers will miss crucial details in the product description that may lead to increased returns and negative feedback.
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Amazon is planning to launch its fleet of drones in Tolleson, Arizona, but the city's extreme temperature is hampering its efforts. Drones can't operate in temperatures exceeding 104 degrees Fahrenheit, a temperature that Tolleson crosses for a full three months of the year.
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A US district judge dismissed X's lawsuit against Bright Data, a data-scraping company accused of improperly accessing X system and violating X terms and state laws when scraping and selling data. The judge basically said that if X owned the data, it could perhaps argue that it has exclusive rights to control it, but then X wouldn't be able to enjoy the safe harbor of Section 230, which allows the platform to avoid liability for third-party content. Can't have it both ways!
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Nintendo is discontinuing its X integration for the switch on June 10th, which means users will no longer be able to post screenshots or videos to the platform from their device. The drop in support also affects games like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which had game-specific options to send out tweets. Microsoft Xbox dropped support for X in April 2023 and Sony Playstation dropped the service in October 2023 due to the increase in X's API access fees.
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Amazon claimed that its recordable incident rate — a metric that comprises all injuries requiring “more than basic first-aid treatment” — at its US warehouses has improved by 24% since 2019. However the National Employment Law Project challenged Amazon's injury data in a report last week, claiming that Amazon's overall injury rate in 2023 was 71% higher than that of other employers in the sector at 6.5 cases per 100 workers.
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Amazon Ads announced three new advertising formats for streaming TV including shoppable carousel ads, interactive pause ads, and interactive trivia ads. Amazon did not say when the new ad types would officially launch, but noted that it will formally present them at a presentation on May 14th.
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Meta is rolling out an expanded set of generative AI ad tools that can create full image variations with text overlays, expand images to fit across different aspect ratios, and generate alternate versions of headlines and other ad text. The features will become available globally to advertisers by the end of the year.
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Square introduced a tool called Square Kiosk to allow self-service ordering at fast food restaurants. The device is a combined software, hardware, and payment solution that allows customers to select exactly what they want with customization options, upgrades, and add-ons.
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The European Parliament announced new measures to make packaging more sustainable and reduce packaging waste in the EU, including reduction targets of 15% by 2040 — which sounds far away but is only 16 years away?! As part of the new rules, the EU will set maximum empty space ratios for e-commerce transportation, ban certain single-use plastic packaging types, and beverage distributors and take-away food will have to offer consumers the option of bringing their own container.
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Indians who pre-ordered Teslas in 2016 are giving up and seeking refunds of their deposits after Elon Musk canceled another visit to the country last month. Disillusioned Tesla enthusiasts in India say they will now buy a car from the company only if they see it in a showroom, or they'll buy a different electrical vehicle from a company that actually exists in the country.
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Target is limiting its Pride Month collection to select stores this year instead of rolling out the merchandise nationwide like it typically has for the past decade, due to backlash the retailer experienced last year. Last May customers in certain stores knocked down LGBTQ+ merchandise displays, angrily approached store employees, and posted threatening videos on social media from inside the stores.
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E-commerce spending from Jan 1 to April 30, 2024 rose 7% YoY to $331.6B, according to Adobe Analytics. One trend Adobe identified during the period is a shift of online spending to purchasing the cheapest goods across personal care, electronics, apparel, home & garden, furniture, and grocery.
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Plus 7 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest, including Shopify's acquisition of Peel, a tool that integrates with a merchant's tech stack including Klaviyo and Recharge and helps them analyze their sales data to improve customer retention.
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I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
PAUL Editor of Shopifreaks E-Commerce Newsletter
PS: If I missed any big news this week, please share in the comments.
submitted by adventurepaul to ecommerce [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:50 just_melancholia My entitled mother doesn’t approve of my relationship and makes outrageous racist comments

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying: “well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that” then she continued with: “please take birth control precautions before you regret it” “don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you” and the cherry on top was: “I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him. I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C… I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction. All this hurts me so much. I don’t know what to do. In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s side culture of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself? So I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her.
submitted by just_melancholia to entitledparents [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:47 ReserveAggressive458 I Met Tim Pool On The Frontline of the News War [Pool Post]

I Met Tim Pool On The Frontline of the News War [Pool Post]
"Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand tweets, a thousand victories."
  • Tim Tzu
Tim Pool, wearing his now iconic red beanie, sits on the wreck of Timbah.
The stench of burnt ink hung heavy in the air. The acrid haze made my eyes water and my head swim.
"News," Tim spat a thick glob of red ink onto the ground, "news is hell."
He sat atop the ruin of a colossus. The faint, yet still audible, thrumming of dubstep from its core marked it as the wreck of the fearsome TimbahOnToast. Dense clouds of black smoke belched from the gaping hole in its back, and sticky red ink ran from a thousand wounds, forming rivulets that criss-crossed the mountain of his corpse.
My fellow Journalism graduates stared up, eyes red and streaming from the smoke, but wide, captivated by their first sight of the legendary investigative journalist and face of the rebellion. I didn't recognise any of them, we have been pulled from separate training camps.
Just minutes ago we had been watching from the shelter of the tunnel system as Pool and his crew lured the towering automaton into their trap, carefully scattering just the right amount of misinformation in his path, tempting him with contradictory tweets and poorly researched blog posts. Hell bent on collecting enough for a devastating third take-down video, Timbah pursued them.
His autotuned screams will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Tim's voice cut through my reverie.
"You've all graduated at the top of your classes in both journalism and news-combat training. You represent the very best of the next generation of center-left, fencing-sitting liberal investigative journalists. Your stories are the ones that will upset both the Left and the Right."
Tim flicked open the straps of his hip holster and pulled out his phone, beginning our lesson. As he spoke, several of the members of his personal entourage walked amongst the graduates, handing out sealed packets roughly the size of an envelope.
"The Galaxy A15 service phone is a lightweight air-cooled, kinetic-operated, news-fed hand weapon. It fires 140-character tweets at an input rate of up to 15 per minute. This is my phone. Repeat after me."
We repeated, as we had a hundred times before in basic training.
"Open your packages. Your phone is pre-loaded with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, YouTube - the works. The Mainstream Media," Tim slapped the wreck beneath him, "has all these same tools available to them and more. I trust what you've seen here today has reminded you of this fact."
In one dope move, Tim flipped his skateboard off his back, hopped on and grinded down the spine of the automaton, sending sparks flying from his titanium-reinforced board. He came to a stop right in front of us.
"News is hell. Media bias has taken our country from us, driven us out, forced us to hide here among the ruins of Rumble, the deserts of Truth Social, and the mausoleum of Parler. But it wasn't always this way. Long ago I could tweet freely that the polls were all lies, that there would be a 49-state landslide, I could pull back the veil and expose the secrets that CNN, MSNBC and Fox didn't want you to know. Never forget what we're fighting for. The world wants the truth, and we'll give it all the truth it can handle.
I'm sending the twelve of you on an impossible mission. If I could spare anyone else I would, but I can't. You must travel to Parler, enter the catacombs and find the Tesla Vault. Bring me Musk."
My heart skipped and my breath caught in my throat. Musk, the maverick owner of X, a hero of free speech before Biden, at the behest of his Mainstream overlords, shattered the constitution and stripped Musk of his company and his wealth. He hadn't been seen or heard from in years. Rumour had it that Musk had been assassinated by the Boeing cartel for sheltering whistle-blowers. He was more myth than man these days.
"You'll need these." Tim opened his satchel and pulled out a bundle of freshly knitted combat beanies. "Fully kitted out with the latest journalistic technologies and hardwired with the full Pim Tool AI suite. You can't have me, but you've got the next best thing. These beanies are not just another tool though, the beanie is a symbol of our defiance. A symbol of our commitment. A symbol of hope. Get out there and earn it."
The latest run of combat-journalism beanies.
With that parting message, Tim was hurried off by his staff to another engagement. We could all see the chatter building on our new phones, notifications flooding in thick and fast - something was brewing in the West, somewhere behind the Social Block forces were stirring once again. Timbah's downfall had not gone unnoticed.
Please direct any hate towards u/holeyshirt18, this is all her fault.
submitted by ReserveAggressive458 to Destiny [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:46 adventurepaul What's new in e-commerce? 🔥 Week of May 13th, 2024

Hi - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth in the newsletter. Let's dive in...
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STAT OF THE WEEK: Kohl's sales have shrunk by $2.3B since 2019. During that same period of time, the company lost 1.3M customers who no longer shop with the retailer.
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BigCommerce is exploring a sale after attracting takeover interest, according to sources who chose to remain anonymous due to the confidentiality of the information. The sources said that BigCommerce asked investment bank Qatalyst Partners to solicit interest from potential buyers that include private equity firms, but that the discussions are at an early stage and no deal is certain.
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Squarespace announced that it will be going private in a $6.9B all-cash deal with private-equity firm Permira, who agreed to pay $44 per share (a roughly 30% premium). Although Squarespace never lost 90% of its share price like BigCommerce, it has experienced a tumultuous time on the market since its IPO in May 2021 — opening around $49.50 and at times trading in the low $20s. Shares rose nearly 13% to $43 in pre-market trading upon release of the news.
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ByteDance filed a lawsuit in US federal court seeking to block the new law that would force the sale or ban of the app within the country. The lawsuit challenges the law on constitutional grounds, also citing commercial, technical, and legal hurdles, as well as opposition from Beijing. Legal experts say the legal battle will play out in the courts in coming months and likely will reach the Supreme Court.
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OpenAI unveiled its newest model, GPT-4o, designed to turn ChatGPT into a digital personal assistant that can engage in real-time, spoken conversations and interact with users using text, screenshots, photos, documents, and charts. The new version of ChatGPT also has memory capabilities, which means it can learn from previous conversations. It will be available to both unpaid and premium customers alike. OpenAI also announced that it would be launching a desktop app with the GPT-4o capabilities, giving users another platform to interact with the technology outside of a web browser.
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Amazon launched in South Africa last week, marking its first marketplace in sub-Saharan Africa, and bringing its total number of marketplaces worldwide to 22. To launch the new marketplace, Amazon is offering free delivery on first orders and on subsequent orders above R500 (about $27), access to 3,000 pick-up points, status updates via WhatsApp to track orders, 30 day refunds, and 24/7 customer support. The marketplace was supposed to launch in the country in 2023, but got delayed due to changes in priorities within Amazon.
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In an unlikely partnership, Instacart is partnering with Uber Eats to expand into the restaurant delivery business. Instacart will add a new tab for restaurant delivery to its app in the coming weeks, the listings will be provided by Uber, and the food will be picked up and delivered by Uber Eats drivers. Customers will receive the same prices on both apps and Instacart will receive an affiliate commission on orders. It's a strange partnership though given that Instacart and Uber Eats actively compete on grocery delivery. Are they planning to merge? Uber says no.
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Apple's advertisement for its latest iPad Pro sparked criticism for showing an animation of musical instruments, paint cans, cameras, record players, and other symbols of creativity being crushed by a giant machine, with the output being the new iPad Pro, which the company says is the thinnest Apple product ever. In this context, “crushing” was supposed to symbolize “consolidating” and “compacting” — with the visuals meant to showcase how the new iPad Pro puts the power of all these tools into the hands of creators in one thin device. However online commenters criticized the ad as insensitive and as symbolizing a “destruction of the human experience.” The ad hit the web on Tuesday, and by Thursday, Apple issued a mea culpa and apologized for the campaign.
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Google is encouraging merchants to enable conversion annotations on their Google Shopping ads, which offer social proof that highlight a product's popularity. Conversion annotations like “best selling” or “3K shopped here recently” would provide visual cues about a product’s popularity or sales performance directly in the ad unit. Annotations like these are par for the course with e-commerce retailers including Amazon, Walmart, and Temu, which all employ similar tactics. They can provide valuable info for shoppers and also help with conversions. However they also open data privacy concerns, given that Google is not the actual retailer or marketplace selling the items, so a merchant would have to share this purchase history data from their e-commerce platform with Google — which technically most already do by giving access to GA4.
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Shein is attempting to join the National Retail Federation as it pursues regulatory approval to go public in the US. The company believes that NRF membership would boost its chances of receiving SEC approval. However so far, Shein has been rejected numerous times. An anonymous source familiar with the matter said someone with heavy influence at the NRF is strongly against the Shein's admittance. However board members who spoke to CNBC said that Shein's membership application hadn't come up in meetings, and that they aren't involved in deciding which companies are granted access.
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Amazon is leading the way with selling home goods, capturing 18.8% of consumer home furnishings spending, compared to Walmart's 7.3% market share. Notably, Amazon’s gains in the furniture category come in spite of the company’s decision to phase out two of its three furniture brands last year.
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Stanley, which is projected to do $750M in sales this year, up from $73M in 2019, after seeing its water bottles become a status symbol thanks to TikTok, is now expanding into trendier accessories. The company is launching a line of bags called the All-Day Collection which include a mini cooler, backpack cooler, and Quencher Carry-All, designed for someone to sling their Stanley over their hip.
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Jack Dorsey left the Bluesky board and deleted his account on the service he helped kickstart, claiming that Bluesky was “literally repeating all the mistakes” he made while running Twitter. Dorsey says he never intended Bluesky to be an independent company, but rather, an open source protocol that Twitter was supposed to be the first client of. He also confirmed that he is financially backing Nostr, another decentralized Twitter-like service popular among crypto enthusiasts and run by an anonymous founder.
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Amazon is deploying 50 electric trucks in California, which it claims is the largest EV fleet in the country, as part of its mission to eliminate pollution from its global operations. The trucks will be integrated into first-mile operations, moving goods from container ships at the ports to fulfillment centers, as well as middle-mile operations, transporting packages from fulfillment centers to delivery centers.
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Wix launched a new tool called AI Portfolio Creator, which allows a user to upload and organize large-scale image collections, select the type of portfolio they want, and then have the AI tool sort and generate a portfolio with clustered images, recommended titles and descriptions, and personalized layout options.
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Amazon is now requiring all dietary supplements to be verified by a third-party testing, inspection, and certification organization — which is something that not even the FDA requires. Amazon is the largest supplement retailer in the US ahead of Walmart and Target, and its new requirements are expected to put more pressure on the industry, which is being scrutinized more than ever.
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Alibaba is revamping its flagship retail website Taobao for the first time in seven years with a focus on providing a smoother search and buying process. The website overhaul comes ahead of the 618 sales event, China's second-largest annual shopping event. A few weeks ago I reported that Eddie Wu, the CEO of Alibaba Group, would now be directly overseeing its domestic e-commerce arm which includes Taobao and Tmall Group, and it sounds like he's hitting the ground running with his new responsibilities.
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Amazon is hosting its first-ever Amazon Book Sale, a new shopping event starting on May 15th that offers up to 50% off print best sellers and up to 80% off Kindle Books. The six day shopping event will exclusively run in the US, and Prime-membership is not required to take advantage of the deals.
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FTX reported that nearly all of its customers will receive the money back that they are owed, two years after the cryptocurrency exchange imploded. The company owes about $11.2B to its customers and estimates that it has between $14.5B and $16.3B to distribute to them. The caveat is that customers will receive the USD value of their holdings at the time of the exchange collapse, and not the actual crypto holdings themselves, which means that they'll miss out on all gains during the past two years during which BTC went from around $16k to now over $60k. Better than nothing though, that's for sure.
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800,000 consumers in Europe and the US were duped into sharing card details and other sensitive personal data with a network of fake online designer shops operated from China, which comprised one of the largest scams of its kind with 76,000 fake websites created. The scammers used expired domains to host its fake shops in order to help avoid detection by websites or brand owners, and more than 1M orders were processed in the past three years alone.
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Beyond Inc, which owns Bed Bath & Beyond, Overstock, and Zulily, reported that its Q1 net loss swelled to $72M from $10M a year ago, while its operating loss widened to $58M from $8M. The company's active customers grew to 6M, up 26% from nearly 5M a year ago, however, its average order value dropped to $173 from $220 a year earlier.
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TikTok will begin automatically labeling AI generated content when it is uploaded from certain platforms like DALL.E 3, Adobe Firefly, Photoshop, and Microsoft Copilot. TikTok will also start attaching Content Credentials to content, which will remain on the media when downloaded, allowing other platforms to read the metadata.
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eBay is testing an Add To Cart button in search results that opens a Quick View window, allowing buyers to skip the listing page. Technically the button should probably not be labeled “Add To Cart” since it doesn't perform that action, but rather, displays a quick view window with three buttons: Buy It Now, Add To Cart, View All Details. Sellers are worried that buyers will miss crucial details in the product description that may lead to increased returns and negative feedback.
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Amazon is planning to launch its fleet of drones in Tolleson, Arizona, but the city's extreme temperature is hampering its efforts. Drones can't operate in temperatures exceeding 104 degrees Fahrenheit, a temperature that Tolleson crosses for a full three months of the year.
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A US district judge dismissed X's lawsuit against Bright Data, a data-scraping company accused of improperly accessing X system and violating X terms and state laws when scraping and selling data. The judge basically said that if X owned the data, it could perhaps argue that it has exclusive rights to control it, but then X wouldn't be able to enjoy the safe harbor of Section 230, which allows the platform to avoid liability for third-party content. Can't have it both ways!
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Nintendo is discontinuing its X integration for the switch on June 10th, which means users will no longer be able to post screenshots or videos to the platform from their device. The drop in support also affects games like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which had game-specific options to send out tweets. Microsoft Xbox dropped support for X in April 2023 and Sony Playstation dropped the service in October 2023 due to the increase in X's API access fees.
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Amazon claimed that its recordable incident rate — a metric that comprises all injuries requiring “more than basic first-aid treatment” — at its US warehouses has improved by 24% since 2019. However the National Employment Law Project challenged Amazon's injury data in a report last week, claiming that Amazon's overall injury rate in 2023 was 71% higher than that of other employers in the sector at 6.5 cases per 100 workers.
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Amazon Ads announced three new advertising formats for streaming TV including shoppable carousel ads, interactive pause ads, and interactive trivia ads. Amazon did not say when the new ad types would officially launch, but noted that it will formally present them at a presentation on May 14th.
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Meta is rolling out an expanded set of generative AI ad tools that can create full image variations with text overlays, expand images to fit across different aspect ratios, and generate alternate versions of headlines and other ad text. The features will become available globally to advertisers by the end of the year.
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Square introduced a tool called Square Kiosk to allow self-service ordering at fast food restaurants. The device is a combined software, hardware, and payment solution that allows customers to select exactly what they want with customization options, upgrades, and add-ons.
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The European Parliament announced new measures to make packaging more sustainable and reduce packaging waste in the EU, including reduction targets of 15% by 2040 — which sounds far away but is only 16 years away?! As part of the new rules, the EU will set maximum empty space ratios for e-commerce transportation, ban certain single-use plastic packaging types, and beverage distributors and take-away food will have to offer consumers the option of bringing their own container.
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Indians who pre-ordered Teslas in 2016 are giving up and seeking refunds of their deposits after Elon Musk canceled another visit to the country last month. Disillusioned Tesla enthusiasts in India say they will now buy a car from the company only if they see it in a showroom, or they'll buy a different electrical vehicle from a company that actually exists in the country.
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Target is limiting its Pride Month collection to select stores this year instead of rolling out the merchandise nationwide like it typically has for the past decade, due to backlash the retailer experienced last year. Last May customers in certain stores knocked down LGBTQ+ merchandise displays, angrily approached store employees, and posted threatening videos on social media from inside the stores.
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E-commerce spending from Jan 1 to April 30, 2024 rose 7% YoY to $331.6B, according to Adobe Analytics. One trend Adobe identified during the period is a shift of online spending to purchasing the cheapest goods across personal care, electronics, apparel, home & garden, furniture, and grocery.
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Plus 7 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest, including Shopify's acquisition of Peel, a tool that integrates with a merchant's tech stack including Klaviyo and Recharge and helps them analyze their sales data to improve customer retention.
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I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
For more details on each story and sources, see the full edition: https://www.shopifreaks.com/bigcommerce-for-sale-openai-gpt-4o-instacarts-unlikely-partnership/
What else is new in e-commerce? Share stories of interesting in the comments below (including in your own business) or on shopifreaks.
-PAUL Editor of Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter
PS: Want the full editions delivered to your Inbox each week? Join free at www.shopifreaks.com
submitted by adventurepaul to ShopifyeCommerce [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:38 InevitableMission656 Getting bullied

Hi. I’m getting to the end of the school year and I don’t really have any friends aside from 2 people. I wouldn’t even really consider them to be my friends since the only times they ever talk to me is to embarrass me. This has happened a lot throughout the school year but something specific happened today that rubbed me the wrong way and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting and if it’s just something that friends do as a joke with each other. I was in class minding my own business trying to get my work done and my ‘friends’ were up at the teachers desk talking with our teacher. Everyone was with their partners for a group project we were doing in that class (I didn’t have anyone to group with so I was doing it alone). All of the sudden I hear the teacher start saying “you’re just mean…” and so on. I had a feeling it was about me since I was always the bud of the joke to my friends. This was confirmed when I heard my friend say “she’s my friend!” As if that’s a valid excuse to say mean or embarrassing things about me to other people. I looked at them and there was like half the class looking at me. I’m not a social person so I just rolled my eyes and turned back around hoping they would leave me alone. They never really understand or pick up on how much them embarrassing me is affecting me. Especially since I’m the only one they make fun of, it sort of feels like I’m being targeted. The story doesn’t end there though. People who never talk to me started saying my name. I turn around again and see a bunch of people looking at me with smiles on their faces. I thought they were getting told by my friends something embarrasing to say to me since it’s happened a few times before. Instead, they started asking me questions like if Im a furry or not. I was shocked and looked right over to my friend but she was looking in a different direction. I was so embarrassed and angry. I said no and ignored them. A few minutes later a guy came up to me and asked me one on one if I was a furry and was basically saying there’s nothing wrong with that but it was clear he was joking around.(This guy is actually pretty cool and I’ve tried to talk to him casually and become friends with him but my friends always ruin it by asking stuff like “are you guys dating?” Which just makes it really uncomfortable and awkward). I asked him what my friend was saying that made him come up to me and ask that because no, I am not a furry. He pulled a note off of my back that said “I am a furry!”. I felt like I could cry right then and there but I just looked at my friend and sighed. She was laughing and saying that it wasn’t her and someone else did it. That same someone a few minutes later asked me for my phone charger and I said no because she put that note on my back and she looked at my friend and laughed. My friend then told me that it actually was her that did it and I just started zoning out to stop myself from flipping out on her. This wasn’t the first time I’ve been bullied by them. My friend used to say and ask me embarrassing stuff out loud to try and humiliate me in front of the class. She’d raise her voice and ask things like “Are you pregnant?” And a few other things. She’s also sent over people who I’m not friends with and make them say stuff to embarrass me while they would sit, watch, and laugh. Am I overreacting or is this a totally normal reaction?
submitted by InevitableMission656 to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:23 just_melancholia How do I (25F) handle my racist mother (56F)?

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying: “well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that” then she continued with: “please take birth control precautions before you regret it” “don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you” and the cherry on top was: “I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him. I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C… I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction. All this hurts me so much. I don’t know what to do. In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s side culture of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself? So I don’t really know how to handle this. Any advice is highly appreciated.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her. What can I do to make her open her mind? Or is it a lost case?
submitted by just_melancholia to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


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