Free pure mom son

I need help and opinions. Thanks for reading if you do!
In the last year or so, I've recovered some bad memories of my childhood and some of that was preceded and followed by other bad memories of growing up with my mom and dad, Mostly my mom, and have realized that she is a narcissist among other things.
I am also currently in nursing school and if anyone has been through a grueling education process, you'll understand that your time cannot be on what you want or what other people want it to be all the time. It is 2 full time jobs worth of studying, sometimes more, on top of 2+ jobs and other responsibilities. Due to this, our relationship is growing further strained because I am not able to do what she wants me to do when she wants me to do it. She guilt trips me for studying or even just taking care of my mental health, and consistently interrupts or even stops me from studying all together. I do not study at home anymore due to that and so she guilt trips me when I come home from work or school for not being here to help or whatever it is. The thing is, I've tried to do it all plus school and multiple jobs. I can't. I almost failed my last semester because I did everything she wanted to me to do all the time bc I figured it would be easier. Obviously it wasn't. It is a lot to type out so this not everything that happened but gives you a little bit of background.
Well there has been a couple of big fights, a lot actually. And it's mentally messed with me. Now I'm at a point where I don't let it bother me too much outwardly but can't help but let it bother me on the inside sometimes. So much so, that I've decided it's time for my sister, her son and I to get an apartment. I think my parents and I's relationship would be better if I weren't here. And I told them that.
Now all of a sudden, my mom has started with this desperate campaign to show me how much of a waste of money it would be for me to move out and pushing on me that if I'm not going to buy their house that they're either going to keep it til they die (another trigger for me) or sell it to someone in the family. Earlier today, she told me that my cousin wants to buy the house. I told her, yes that's a good idea because when we get our apartment, that they could move out and get a different house and if I wanted to buy the house later on, I could. Well, apparently, she didn't expect that reaction from me. I told her that it was a good idea and she was flabbergasted. She stopped talking about that and moved on.
A few days ago, one of the fights she started was about the fact that she had accidentally taken one of my scrubs and dried them, which I dont do. I hang dry them. It wasn't a big deal to me. I just rewashed them and had to retrain the fabric again. Not a big deal but it was made a big deal bc i had to rewash them, wasting time and money. She freaks out and when I tell her that she is literally freaking out about NOTHING, it makes her angrier bc how dare I tell her that? How dare I say that she made a mistake, no matter how small it is. This blew up into her refusing to accept a mother's day gift or even read a card until I let her belittle and scream at me that I've changed and how horrible of a daughter I am, how I'm using my studying as a crutch to not do anything (even though I do), and how much I've hurt her by not doing what she wants me to do. She also said, along with my dad, that I am a narcissist because I'm setting boundaries that I do not want to talk about anything political and have to make hard boundaries about studying... in order for me to pass my classes, mind you. Only after an hour and a half of her and my dad belittling me and telling me how I've changed for the worse and how much I've hurt her, did she open the card and say "thanks for the beautiful card." She initially refused to take my card but took my sister's, literally in my face, and took the time to read everything out loud from her card before saying she will not read mine because I don't care about her or love her. This is a tactic she does often to try to pin my sister and I against each other. This is not everything, but more for background.
Her M.O. is to push the blame onto me about absolutely everything. And I mean, EVERYTHING. Even stuff that has nothing to do with me. Well, today she tried that but I caught her in a lie instead.
I had done some of mine and my sisters clothes right before she came down and I had a pair of scrubs under a sweater on the dryer that I hadn't put away yet. When she went into the laundry room to switch her laundry over (because she also tries to gatekeep the laundry room,) she lied and told me that she had just pulled the scrubs out of the dryer and said that even I mess up because I had actually put her clothes in the dryer and I hadn't taken them out. Of course she doesn't know that I knew those scrubs were NOT in that load and were already done previously.
It blew my mind.
I know she's done this before but my mind is so lost on how many times I thought I was just crazy or maybe thought I remembered wrong. And she's done this about everything. For my entire life. But I never caught her like this before.
It spiraled me and kicked up some other memories. Not good ones.
But now, every time she talks to me, I feel disgusted and angry. I can't do anything other than laugh because if I show emotion, especially the one I want, it won't end well and I'll end up being kicked out or something. But she also has an issue with me laughing with everything she says (which I would too, but I don't know how else to react). I can't believe a damn thing she says, which I thought I didn't before, but now it's so... open, is the best descriptive word I can say. I'm not exactly sure how else to describe it.
What do I do? I'm reeling. I made an appt with my therapist on Thursday but I realized today is MONDAY. I'm not sure if I can do this til Thursday.
I am not allowing myself to dive through more memories bc who knows what else I'll uncover.
Do I tell her I know? Would it help, would it make it worse? How do I stop myself from reacting to every little thing she says. I cringe and shiver even she says she loves me. It's a big physical reaction. Same when she tries the desperate thing. I can't help but laugh. I have to because otherwise I'd scream or end up sobbing. What do I do?
Has anyone been in this situation?? I need help.
I am so sorry if this does not make sense. I work overnight and haven't slept more than 2 hrs in two days. If I didn't answer something or you have questions about something, let me know and I'll answer. I need help on how to move on from this. Thank you in advance.

Well, hello! I'm just a silly little queer on a journey to self-discovery, learning how to live my best life, and looking for some company along the way. Here is what I'm looking like these days. I have officially hit that point in my life where time seems to be just completely slipping through my fingers, and so I am very focused on truly living each day to the fullest extent of my abilities, for the first time in a very long while (maybe ever). I'd love to meet some more folks who are in a similar place in their daily lives. For me, this means an emphasis on healing, hobbies, and healthy connections and approaching the choices, chances, and changes I make each day from a place of curiosity and wonder.
Healing is a priority of the highest order for me. I believe that as adults we all have wounds that, through healing, we can learn and grow from, in order to be the best versions of ourselves. We are all works in progress, and no matter how young or old, none of us are ever really "done" growing. I am learning how to hold space for my younger self, without judgement or shame coloring my perception of my past actions and choices. I'd love to hear about how you are practicing growth, what therapy modalities have worked best for you (IFS changed my life!), and/or your short and long term goals for this area of your life.
Hobbies have made a world of difference in how I balance my days. At the peak of my depression/mental illness, my entire life revolved around work and my children - I had no identity outside of ~Customer Service Cutie~ and ~Mom~. Last year I took the leap to join a local gay women's chorus and I am not kidding you, it was the best decision I made for myself in my adult life. This has opened up doors to other hobbies I didn't know I was interested in, like painting and kickball. Tell me about your hobbies, and what activities make you smile, and breathe life into your days!
Healthy connections are where you come in! Hooray - if you made it this far, you are a TROOPER and I appreciate you taking the time. I'm really not looking for anything in particular. I would love to go out on cute dates (I have always been the planner, so it would be a really cool change if someone wanted to take me out) or connect over zoom or whatever digital platform works best for you. It's been an embarrassingly long time since I've sent or received a good morning text, or felt the flutters in my stomach when I see someone's name pop up throughout the day. I guess I'm just looking for chemistry, in whatever form that takes.
Please feel free to shoot me a message or chat on here. If you need an opener idea, I'd love to know - if you had 1 hour to get on a plane to anywhere in the world (hurry up, pack your bag and GO!) where are you going and why?
Cheers xo
Em

Hello! This is my first post, so happy to have found this sub because I’m learning so much. Decided to post because I really need your thoughts and advice.
I grew up in a middle class fam & under super financially illiterate parents. When I was younger, feel ko nasa rich kami but because my parents (my dad for the most part) didn’t invest and save money, at the moment living paycheck to paycheck lang talaga. My parents (both 50) earn a combined ~120-130k net monthly income; mom is a Nurse, dad is a contractual govt employee that pays fairly well. Yun nga lang problema, they both never figured out communicating about money. The easiest way I can put it is that my dad earns fairly well but does not give a lot minsan pahirapan pa hingan and nagagalit pa, my mom naman would rather loan and be in debt to others than be open to my dad sa mga kailangan bayaran for fear na pagagalitan lang siya ng papa. TL/DR, because of 1844829 financial mistakes, I think it’s safe to say we’re one medical bill away from poverty.
As for me, I (F23) just graduated last year, passed my boards and now about to start on my first job as a Nurse in a govt hosp. I’m not a breadwinner, but there’s this unspoken expectation of me helping out sa bills soon kasi lalong lalaki na bayarin. I have 3 sisters: 2 college, isang junior high, all in private schools. Okay naman ako with helping out, may konting fear lang na maging retirement daughter pero that’s another problem for another day 🤣 ang iniisip ko nalang, better for my mom to reach out to me for help than keep ballooning our debts.
So this is the part where I would love to hear your thoughts.
Since my mom works at the hospital, free yung annual comprehensive checkups nya and when we need diagnostics & labs, free din kami. Kapag may hospitalizations, free din kasi sa govt naman. I had a surgery 3 years ago, pero since kilala ng mama ko yung ortho surgeon, na waive lang yung PF. Konti lang ata nabayadan. But I can’t help but wonder hanggang kailan tong ganitong safety net? I’m thankful for it but paano kung magretire na mama ko or anything that will stop us from accessing the free healthcare na dahil sa connections ng mom ko?
Gusto ko talaga magkaroon ng health insurance. Di ko pa ata afford buong pamilya ko (2 parents, 3 sisters) pero siguro the least I can include are my parents who are getting older na.
My question lang: in this whole process of starting to manage and build my money,

1. When should I get a health insurance? Do I build my EF first before saving up for an insurance or can I build my EF + save up and eventually pay for insurance?
2. What type of insurance should I get? I took the interactive flowchart and ended up with “get an HMO/health insurance” but I also want to hear your thoughts. Also read about life insurance but super confused pa ako sa difference, have to learn it pa.
3. Any recos for insurance na pwede ko isali parents ko?

Some few points lang siguro for you to help me out: - I will earn ~ 36k a month, di ko pa alam magkano max including benefits - I have philhealth, Mom has philheath and dependents pa yung 3 kong kapatid. Papa has philhealth pero parang di na nababayaran. - I’m relatively healthy, high cholesterol lang for now ang problem 😂 - Dad is prediabetic and scarily obese, very high risk for heart diseases. I feel like cancer is also prominent sa dad’s side ko. My lola had brain cancer, and a distant lola died of breast CA. - Mom’s side ko prevalent ang heart diseases and Diabetes. Mom currently has an abnormal ecg reading, hypertensive, and high in cholesterol.
Kung hindi pa obvious, I’m really all new to this. As much as I love my parents, they really did so bad taking care of their money and ayoko magaya sakanila. Please help me out.
Thank you!

My mother has been having horrible nightmares for about 6 weeks now but has yet to come clean and tell me or anyone else about them. But first, let me give a brief background about the dreams we have had. My grandpa (mom's dad) had the "6th sense"/ESP or whatever you'd like to call it. I thought that it was complete bs growing up until he appeared in my mother's dream one night. At this point in life my grandpa had been in a hospital for 6 months then was just switched to a nursing home for the last 6. He and wasn't able to talk much but still fully coherent to his surroundings. One random morning in November 2012 my mom woke up me and my brother in a panicked state crying her eyes out and we could tell immediately that she knew something that she could not even try to explain at that moment. On our way to the hospital we are asking her what's going on and all she could say was "Daddy told me to go to him because he was fixing to leave." We were speechless. My grandfather had not said a full sentence in months yet somehow told her he is leaving?! When we made it to the nursing home the doctors/nurses were still trying to give him CPR. He wasn't even pronounced dead yet when we made it to his room. She eventually told us what actually happened when she was able to calm down. She says that he sat up out of a casket and pointed at his watch (that man ALWAYS wore one) and told her "Amy, come here my darling. It is time for me to go." That made me a whole hearted 110% "6th sense/ESP" believer to say the least. 6 weeks ago my My mom randomly calls me at 4:30am on a Wednesday and asked me if me and my brother were okay. ( We Travel together for work All over the country) I said of course we are and left it at that. Well earlier I was at her house cleaning up her kitchen and cooking some food for supper and she wakes up in a frantic State and immediately calls out for me and my brother. I would not let it go this time and begged her to tell me what her dream was and when she confessed...
She told me that she has had the same dream of one of us (her 2 sons) being taken away in handcuffs and the other one is going to the morgue nearly every night for the past 6 weeks.
Make heads or tails of this for me, please. I am at a loss of words.

Warning: This is extremely long
I am writing this because I need to make it known my love for this girl. And there needs to be something in the world that shows my love. All the hours of sleep I have lost for this girl, who I will call Eve, were for naught and I need there to be something tangible of what we had. This is my story of her.
I first met Eve at a volunteer event for an see organization we both went to, 4 days of 5 hours of volunteering. I thought she was beautiful and I wanted to ask her out. As we were leaving on the very last day I asked. I told her I enjoyed talking to her and thought she was cool, I asked if she would want to hang out sometime. I was elated. I thought she had given me her number romantically. I was so happy that day, I had never felt such joy. I was potentially going to be in a relationship with this amazing and beautiful woman. I texted her that night, and we talked some. The next day I asked her on a date, if she wanted to go to a local aquarium with me. She told me that she had a boyfriend. My soul was crushed, I felt myself die a bit. I physically felt my joy leave, everything was gray again. I had fallen in love with her over the simple act of her giving me her phone number. I have longed for female connection and affection for so long that even a slight show of something that could be considered as romance made me adore her. And that shows how fucked up I am. I made some more small talk, nothing much. I tried to play it off as “oh yea that’s cool”, perhaps I could salvage a friendship for now, and wait until she did not have a boyfriend. I asked her if she wanted to do paintball for my Birthday, she couldn’t because her sister got injured as a kid from it. For the next 3 months I mourned. I was sad, I had fallen in love with this beautiful girl, but could not even attempt to be with her. Then in November I saw her at another event, I was so scared. I was too afraid to make contact with her. I saw her and was terrified, of scorn, of disgust. I was embarrassed. She walked past me once and I said hi, as a friend, but no response, perhaps she did not hear me. I avoided her for the next few hours. Eventually during a raffle at the end we made eye contact. It was very brief, barely a second. I looked away so fast. She was so breathtaking. Now I knew that she knew I was there, and she knew I knew she was there. I went home without any more contact. The next months were the same, sadness. Mourning the relationship I (thought I) almost had. Every day I thought about her. Every single day. Not 3 hours could pass without her crossing my mind. At night I would look at her on Instagram. Look at her pictures, it was nothing creepy, I just admired her beauty and longed for her. I saw her boyfriend, he was ugly and fat. I do not mean to be rude or hate, but she could do better. I am ugly, but I take care of myself, I was jealous of him. One day she posted her Junior prom pics with him, she was so beautiful. One day when I went to admire her pictures, I noticed something. She had taken his name from her bio, and deleted all her posts. They had broken up. I was elated, perhaps I had a chance. I needed to see her again, establish connection. I went to an event where she was going, I saw her, I tried to find a chance to say hello but we were all so busy and split into different groups, I didn’t get a chance. As the event ended it was late. It was dark and in a not desirable area of town, Eve was leaving and my mom was going to accompany her to her car and called me over to accompany her. I walked out and was with them, Eve was so beautiful, her smile made me melt inside. We made some small talk between the three of us as we walked for a minute or two, and then she got in her car and left. I was angry at myself and my situation, I should have talked to her more, put myself out there. I was beating myself up for it the rest of my time there and the ride home. But when I got home I was overjoyed, while I drove Eve had texted me. She said it was nice to see me at an event again, with a smiley face. We talked for a bit, texting back and forth. I was so happy to be talking to her again, and SHE initiated it. Mind you this is on the 8th of February. For the next week or so we texted, not a ton. She was busy, however I have noticed she uses that as an excuse to not reply, more on that later. Come Valentine’s Day it was nearing Junior Prom at my school, I had dreams of bringing her to it. I was hoping to try and do something in person with her and some friends over the weekend, where I could ask in person. However, on Valentine’s Day she posted on her Instagram story a gift she had received from a secret admirer. I was scared I would lose my opportunity, now I had competition. This rushed me. I called her that evening, I told her I wanted to ask in person but saw her story and felt rushed, i asked if she wanted to go to our Junior prom with me. She said that she wasn’t sure, and wanted a few days to get back to me. A few days later she responded, she could not go. She said that she was talking to someone else pretty seriously and didn’t want to go for that reason. I accepted this with grace, I respect her decision. Exactly one month later I ran into her at an event. We talked a bit, we worked by each other this time. She mentioned when we talked with some others as a group that she was going on a spring break trip to California. After the event ended and we had gone home I texted her later that evening. I said it was nice seeing her, and I hoped she enjoyed her break. She responded, I was scared she wouldn’t. Throughout all of this I have held an underlying belief she is weirded out by me, or wants me to screw off, I had asked her out twice, maybe I am just a creep to her. But she did respond. We talked for the next few days, she still took a long time to respond, over 12 hours usually. I get you’re busy, but let’s be honest, everyone checks their phone in that time. On the morning of break when my family was driving off for ours I got a text from her. She sent me sunrise pics from her trip she was on, and said she would send some more. We texted back and forth a bit then, and she said I should send her pics of my trip. I was so happy, she had sent me pictures and asked I send some. While they weren’t pictures of HER, they were still beautiful sunrise pics, and SHE sent them to me first. Over the course of spring break we talked, there was a large time difference so most of it was sending picture, asking or telling something, and responding to previous texts. But one day we were both sat down and we texted back and forth for a straight hour. She was giving me her time and attention, I felt as if she enjoyed talking to me. When break ended however it changed. She took more and more time to respond, hours to days. She said she was busy, but I knew the truth, you can check your phone over the course of 2-3 days and respond. I felt hurt and confused. She has given me so much time and we had talked so much over break but now I was being ghosted. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wrote her a long text, telling her how I felt about her and what we had going on. How she was the most beautiful woman in the world and how I love talking to her, and also how I was getting mixed signals for her. She responded and told me that at first she was texting for friendliness but began to like me as we talked, she said she would text me before her friends and that must mean something subconsciously. She was flattered and admired my persistence in asking her out, now she was open to going out with me to test the waters. I was overjoyed. However I am moving overseas, about 3 months from when this happened, and I told her that. Very unfortunate that when I get my chance it is cut short. We talked more, and planned a date. She never did tell me why she didn’t respond. It was wonderful, we talked a lot. Of course it was awkward at times, but it got better as it went. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was breathtaking, she had makeup on, but she looks even prettier without it. We talked about all sorts of things, and it all made me like her more. Same passion we wanted to go to college for, both love animals, both believe the same stuff. When the date ended, we went our separate ways. That has since been the last time I have seen her. When I got home she texted me she had a good time, I was so incredibly happy to see that. I hadn’t weirded her out, she hadn’t found me too unattractive to date. One day I posted a pic of me after winning a sports championship along with some others of my team on my story. I have never posted a pic of myself because I am self conscious, this was the first. She viewed my stories, and the only one she gave a like was of me. That made me feel so special, she liked the picture of ME. I was happy, we were still texting, she still took a while to reply, usually a day, but I was happy because I was going on dates with her. During the midst of planning a second, she stopped replying for a few days. When I was touring a college I got the message. She had felt nothing romantic on our date, only platonic. She enjoyed it she said, but felt no feelings for me. She wanted to go out again to solidify these feelings, and give me another chance but because I was moving she didn’t want to potentially start a relationship we would end in 2 months. She said she didn’t want to lead me on. I was heartbroken. I love her. This was the final nail in the coffin, it was over. We would not work out. I replied to her, said thank you for the honesty and wished her luck with life. I have been left on read. I don’t expect anything else, but a reply, a thank you for understanding, anything would be nice. I don’t want it to end. Any connection I can have with her I wanted. I don’t understand, I thought she liked me? While she did say she thought she had feelings, I understand that she may have changed how she felt after going out, but why would she do what she did? Why would she tell me she had a good time it she didn’t think it would work? I feel as if that just got my hopes up. It put me under the impression she liked me too. And why would she like my picture if she did not LIKE me? I am confused m, and I am sad. My situationship with her is done, and any contact is as well. I miss her, I want to be with her. I don’t understand what to do now. For the past year she has been my purpose. I have improved myself for her, cried for her, tried at life for her. Now I have nothing, no purpose. How can I go on when I have no purpose. She was my driving factor for all I did. I am empty now. I write this because I need people to know. I cannot let all I felt for her go unknown. I need to express my love for her somehow, it must be known, it not to her then to you all. I can not let all we had, even if it was really nothing for her and to outside perspective, it was so much to me. And a message I leave for her, if by some miracle she stumbled upon this and recognizes these events. Eve, I love you. I know that it is not reciprocated. I am sorry for loving you, when we together had so little. You are the most beautiful girl in the world, your heart is pure and your mind is sharp. Although I can not be with you I hold no hard feelings. I am not angry, because your feelings are valid, even if they are not what I wish you felt. I hope whatever happens to you in life you excel. I hope you find someone you love that loves you like I do. I will never forget you. Thank you for the chance you gave me, and your honesty and clear communication. Goodbye.

I need help figuring out this manga's name. It was translated until around volume 8, but I think the translator ended up dropping it. It starts off with an eldest son of single mother household. The mom is admitted to the hospital for cancer treatment, so the eldest son decided to start cooking for his two younger siblings, a sister and a brother. The MC is in high school. He finds out during this time period that he was adopted via his aunt. He has a romance with a fellow classmate who is an aspiring mangaka. After high school, the manga covers his college life. He meets his biological mother and biological half brother. He's much younger than himself and very much neglected. His adoptive family ends up taking his younger brother under their care for a bit. The last bit of translation I can remember is that MC and his mangaka girlfriend were having relationship trouble. She has a bit of inferiority complex and MC is not sure how to approach her about her troubles.

I just want to unload a bit.
I 41f have two sons that are 14 and 16. They are good kids; a bit lazy and selfish but what teenager isn’t? My ex and I split when the boys were 2 and 4. Over the years his involvement has diminished in their lives and he barely sees them. Things have happened between the boys and his current wife that have also strained the relationship.
I’ve had to cancel and change plans countless times over the years because he cancels his parenting time at the last minute; but he’s never willing to step up when I’ve needed him to take the boys when I’m sick or have to take a work trip. I’ve had to pick up a second job due to increased cost of living and the fact that their dad has gotten behind on support.
My oldest has never been the affectionate type with me; which I understand because I’m also not much of an outwardly affectionate person. I’m just feeling so invisible to him though and this weekend really solidified that feeling. It’s like I’m just an ATM and chauffeur.
He knows there are some things I’ve wanted to get done around the house; as in all three of us, and had planned on doing that on Saturday and then spending Sunday at my parents. He asks to go out with friends on Saturday to a mall and to borrow money for the excursion. Feeling mom guilt because he never really does anything socially I allow it and give him money that I really can’t afford to part with. He also informs me he wants to spend Sunday with his girlfriend. I remind him it is Mother’s Day and that she probably needs to spend it with her family. The argument begins; her mom lives out of state and she doesn’t have that kind of relationship with step mom. Then I point out that we are going out with my parents. Well he thinks he should be able to go to gf’s and his brother and I go to my parents. I finally had to point out that I would like to spend time with my children on Mother’s Day.
So he goes out with friends Saturday and begrudgingly does lunch with us on Sunday. He never even tells me Happy Mother’s Day. Also, he apparently had some kind of epiphany and wants to reconnect with his dad and asks me to take him to see his dad after we get back from lunch; on Mother’s Day.
We don’t argue or have a bad relationship. I honestly feel like he’s just gotten so used to me always being there that takes that for granted.
Please tell this passes….

Hey! I’m looking for insider perspective, my mom had a son who she made the decision to give up for adoption while keeping me. I didn’t know about my brother until I turned 18 and it wasn’t even her that told me. Well I’d been looking for him for well over 10 years and I found him. I reached out to him and told him I was his sister, I don’t want to pressure him or be too clingy I don’t want to bother him or uproot his life. I know he knew he was adopted and he wants to meet. He had some troubling times but otherwise was raised in a very affluent family. I’m nervous because my family well our family doesn’t compare to his family. I know I’m being selfish but always thinking you were an only child then finding out you have a little brother it was like a piece was missing always. I didn’t text him today and it’s not because I didn’t want to but I wanted to give him time to take it all in. He wants to meet and I’m so excited and nervous, he doesn’t want to meet my mom and I understand that all the way. I’m honestly worried about what it will stir in her because of all the emotions she’s suppressed all these years but I want a relationship with him. I don’t know what I’m asking or looking for maybe I just need a place with people who have maybe been through something similar to talk to.. I’m an emotional mess right now.

Hi everyone!
I wanted to take some time and sit and write this before I got too busy and get carried away as we hit 5k members like two week ago. I thought so many times in the car about making this post to celebrate our amazing community we have here. Its hard to celebrate the large number of PA in numbers but in numbers we are one of the, if not the largest broken people who gathered together as family to help each other on the internet. That is a huge deal and huge responsibilty we have to each other.
We are an amazing dedicated community. We are some of the toughest and the most resilient people out there. I know this. I read and feel it everyday. I cry with you and I do my damnest to protect you and help you.
Everyday I read and see the comments from wonderful members who raises each other's spirits and truly like family share the grief of each parent who find the peace in sharing their hardship and pain as their own. I love seeing our memebers reach out and write the truest of words that make the difference in each of our lives. Thank you. It truly does make a difference and I know it first hand.
Just the other day one of my old posts on therpist not making hard choices on PA were answered with a real answer from a real doctotherapist. I still get to learn something new about my own PA journey everyday. The growth of our forum means more comments. I just want everyone to keep in mind that some of us are going through this ordeal as new comers and can be sensitive to criticism. Criticism however warranted is fine. Its a free country it will always will be an open forum. Thank you for reporting bad posts Thank you for taking the time to read our letters and words of grief. Thank you for responding and being part of the messy difficult journey that is PA. Thank you for making this community the most important community I am a part of. I promise to always keep us proud and never forget each and ever one of your posts. Before I go on and on.
Always , always look forward to happier days. No regrets. Give it your all. I hope you find peace in all your attenpts to reach out, every chance to speak or see your child. Every inch and minute you fight to be with them. If you need us , we will be here for you.
My son is now 14 and with me everyday since he was 9 and left at a hospital due to his ADHD.
He was coached and alienated since he was 5
My daughter is now 13 and I see her 4 days a month since she was alienated and coached since she was 4 years old.
Her scowls have turned to hmmmm and within the last year things have gotten better. I am faking it to make it with my alienator. I always keep my guard up. but last weekend , I got to watch the alienators dog while my daughter was over. What the hell thats a negative really, but I took it as a win. Lets all find the little wins togther.

You read that right. When I was 6, my mom lost custody of my brother and I, and after that happened I didn't see her ever again up until a few weeks ago. She got married traveled the world and lived her life. I spoke to her on the phone on and off over the past few years but we always lost touch with one another. She finally agreed (after flaking out many times on previous plans) for us to meet and it was a neutral experience in my eyes. I honestly felt pretty resentful to see how amazing her life ended up turning out and how happy she seemed while my brother and I were mentally, sexually, physically, and emotionally abused in our childhood by our father and stepmother. Also, when I was 15 my father left our family and my stepmother no longer wanted to care for us so I ended up in the system and ultimately on my own from that point forward. Life was a freaking struggle and I didn't have anyone to call to help me in times where I could have used the help. I felt resentful towards her for being so carefree and naive about life when I was in her presence. She casually threw around how she owned several homes and traveled the world and how financially free and set up she and her husband were. I just hated hearing it. The kicker to me was that she had the nerve to judge my brother and me for how we turned out and what we chose to do with our lives. Neither one of us are college educated but both of us are entrepreneurs. My brother is a millionaire and I'm still not in a space (yet) where my business has taken off and I'm bartending and waiting tables on the side (she's been criticizing me for this and telling me I need to get a real job).
This woman just doesn't get it. She even had the nerve to talk about my parenting (I had a child in high school and dropped out BUT I RAISED HER and she turned out to be a pretty damn good gal-She's currently in the Navy and I couldn't be more proud-plus she is such a daddy's girl and I am so proud that I was able to break a generational family curse two-fold).
Anyway, I was dreading Mother's day this year TBH, I knew she was going to expect a grand gesture from me and I just sent a text that said "Happy Mother's Day." She ignored the text and responded back today telling me I was pathetic for such a dry and unthoughtful Mother's Day gesture and that she deserved more than that from me.
She even got my brother involved and my brother told me I should have done more.
I'm so confused. Isn't Mother's Day for mothers who raised their children or am I nuts?

Hello,
I am a 19 year old female who at age 7 was diagnosed with stage 2 melanoma. Melanoma runs strongly in my family, hence why I got it so young. I came across this page and saw a lot of people posting pictures of their moles and marks, asking if they’re concerning.
If your moles have darkened over time (even if they’re from birth), are black in color, stick out from your other moles in any way, please see a dermatologist.
Even if your moles have none of the above indications, and you are concerned about them, please still refer to a dermatologist.
The only way to rule out a mole as concerning, is to have it properly examined by a medical professional.
For those with anxiety:
Melanoma is a not a “rare” cancer, but it is less common than other cancers, only 87,000 people will be diagnosed with melanoma each year, compared to the 234,000 that will be diagnosed each year with lung cancer. Your odds are not that high, especially if you have no family history or you are young.
If the dermatologist does find your moles to be concerning, they will more than likely do a biopsy. I’ve had a couple of these done throughout my life and they are painless. They administer a numbing agent into the area, and scrape off the area with a scalpel, and you will feel nothing.
If you are unfortunate enough to be given a diagnosis of melanoma, don’t panic. The typical treatment for melanoma is surgery. The survival rate for melanoma is astronomically high.
In 2012 I was diagnosed, by the end of the year I had my surgery and I have been cancer free for 12 years. I am okay.
My mom has had melanoma more times than I can count, she had surgical removal everytime. She has been cancer free for 6 years. She is okay.
Don’t panic, make an appointment, you will be okay :)

I'm sorry for posting this but I haven't been able to talk about what's really happening the last 12 months because no one cares to listen to people like me. I just really need to write this down so it isn't just inside me forever, I'm not expecting any replies or help, I just want someone to know my story because i dont know when or how it will end. (also i wrote this at 11pm after not sleeping for 3 days, so theres a chance none of this makes sense)
I am 14, turning 15 in a few months.
I have been dealing with severe depression(?) for around 4 years now, but the issues started way before that. there is something seriously wrong with me, and i am not blaming anyone but myself. I'm diagnosed with adhd, severe social & general anxiety disorder, autism, and ptsd. I have an abundance of issues cleaning and taking care of myself which i am extremely embarrassed about.
I attempted to truly end my life first when i was 10 via od on a prescription. the second time i was 11, i tied a ribbon very tightly around my neck, and fell asleep crying from both sadness and relief. i remember waking up, and it was like my body automatically started desperately searching for anything sharp to get it off my neck. i had a red spot on the side for a while after that, i covered it with a fake tattoo so my mom wouldn't have to worry about my older brother as well as me.
I resorted to online learning for middle school after bullying and sexual harassment, plus issues with the school that lead to cps being called. skip forward to now, my only friends are online, and they make fun of me for being autistic, and say they forget im a real person regularly. I understand, i dont expect them to care that much about someone theyve never spoken to in person before, i just wish i could be someones first choice.
december last year i started smoking weed, and that made me forget about how much i wanted to die. unfortunately, that got me addicted immediately. i couldn't bare being sober, if i wasnt high off my mind i was sobbing and shaking. eventually my mom found out, and I (mostly) stopped. unfortunately, the inevitable happened. i started stealing liquor, drank almost a whole bottle of tequila by myself within ~6 days. mom found out about that too, and stopped buying alcohol as well as starting to lock up the medication in the house. this was the beginning of the end. i hate myself for what i did. my mom did everything right, i, however, did everything wrong. i started abusing gabapentin, which quickly lost its magic. i told myself i was never going to touch stimulants or amphetamines, but of course i did. I was desperate to feel something that i started abusing my adhd meds. i hate them, i cant eat or sleep on them, but they make me focus on something that isnt my thoughts.
I've done everything i wanted to do before i go. today was my friends 16th birthday, yesterday was mothers day, and a few days before that was my one year on HRT. (not getting into that right now lol) i didnt think id make it to 13, I truly dont know why I'm still here. I can't remember a day i havent wanted to just leave and be free from emotion and people. I'll probably delete this when i see it in the morning, but i desperately needed to get this off my chest. I had potential, I was smart and kind and bright, and then the people around me grew up, while i was still waiting for my turn.
Maybe if I was born into a different family i could've been a psychologist like ive always wanted to. In another lifetime.

I have been with my partner for almost 10 years. We don't live together yet. I sleep over during the weekends at his house and it irritates me how his mom stays cleaning his room like his a child. Mind you he is pushing 30. She does his laundry and the clothes I have from mine in the closet she pushes them in the back. I told my boyfriend how she needs boundaries. He tells me that in their culture is disrespectful to tell parents to have boundaries. We go out during the night and its past 11 she starts calling him. Her husband is never home and leaves for literally the whole month for "work" and I feel she is jealous of my relationship with her son cause shes unhappy. When shes cleaning she literally bends down and does not wear a braw in front of my boyfriend. I know this is not normal for a mother to do I feel like she seduces him. She leaves her clothes and bras in the bathroom. She always used to tell me that her son looks exactly like his dad when he was young. Im like okay? cool. I just think how its odd how she does eveything for my boyfriend knowing she has another son and she dont do half the stuff to him. His family is soon moving to another state and she told us that we are coming with them, my partner said No we are not. She was all like "your my son i cant leave having you far away from me." My boyfriend doesnt she how enmesh his mother is. I honestly feel she thinks shes my boyfriends wife.I honestly cant stand her and i wish she leaves me and my boyfriend live our lifes as we want.

(Trying to submit again... something wasn't allowed last time and I don't know what it was?
Okay, will be cross-posting this but will upload any and all help to show what I get between communities. Not here to make money, just really in the hole and it wasn't my fault (mostly).
Well first off, I am a permanently disabled girl here that had her life changed when I was driving me and my son to martial arts, someone cut us off and I ran into them. It really was a relatively minor wreck, but my airbag did not deploy and we thought I just got a concussion. A week later I was driving my Mom somewhere and I had a seizure when driving. We did not wreck then, my Mom was able to grab the wheel and pull the e-brake. But that was the start of my journey being diagnosed with medicine resistant intractable epilepsy. I have tried something like 16 meds and finally found one that kind of works, yet I still seize. I have also had 2 brain surgeries (for the RNS device in brain) and we may be looking at yet another to place more leads. I'm actually excited for that... it may be able to help my epilepsy more!
But about 4 months ago I turned in my renewal for food stamps. They just kept saying they were behind, didn't give me the help I desperately needed. As a result I had to just keep overcharging my account to get money for food. I needed that money for other things like rent, gas, bills, just everything. I would highly appreciate anyone that could donate some money my way and I will absolutely come back next month to help others. I love helping others, it kind of has always been my nature. Unlike my family though. That's a story for a different day.
I have my account overdrawn by $341. If anyone can donate ANYTHING to help me get that number to 0 or as close to it as I can, I'd be so so sooooo thankful. Do you need proof of anything of mine? I'll gladly give. Show bank account, show medical discharge papers to show I am still under total doctors care... I'm on SSI and man, that money is just NOT enough to live! My partner is my caretaker but the state only pays him for 4 hours a day at bare minimum. He can't go to work because he has to watch me, and I obviously can't work. My family does not help at all, they really aren't good people, except my son and my father (who was recently diagnosed with cancer sadly). Things are just tough. Please any donations you can make to get my account to no overdrawn I'd so appreciate! I will gladly help others when I can.
Need any more info? Just ask me.
Here are my payment infos:
Zelle: (Do you need a phone number for that or something? I don't know what my link would be for this, but I do have zelle.
Cashapp: $MeekoWeazie
Paypal: SeizeTheDay311
GoFundMe: 92b1892b18b04b04
I might have other ways to accept money, please just ask to get info!
Is there any other way I can get help? Please help if possible even if it's only 10 dollars from a few people, I'm going nuts here needing this to be more to no overdrawn!
Thank you and have a great day! I WILL help out those that need it as soon as I can!

At least I certainly hope so for my mom, my MIL, and my sister. They all seemed very happy & pleased with the day.
My mom & dad were absolute rock stars for hosting & fixing all kinds of delicious food for dinner yesterday, and I am truly so very grateful for them. They are the kind of selfless people that truly always do more for others than they receive, willingly and lovingly.
Yesterday made me even more glad that I went over to their house on Saturday & helped my mom with some technological stuff + spent several hours with her. We “chased” the northern lights, though frankly we didn’t see much. Apparently they were much more magnificent the night before, though I didn’t really have any luck then either. Some of the folks around this area captured some rather unbelievable photos — that’s not to say that I’m calling it nonsense. I do know for a fact that some of those photos were heavily edited/adjusted, though. I know what I saw with my eyes, and what I was able to get with my camera… those things were not in alignment whatsoever. But anyway Saturday night was really enjoyable, mostly because I was with my mom.
My parents & family have really welcomed in my MIL with open arms ever since my FIL passed away. She has expressed gratitude for this many times. Yesterday was no exception, and to my husband’s credit, he made sure that his mom knew everything we did & all that she got was thanks to me (and my parents, of course).
My sister came out to my parents an hour or so later than she planned, which pushed dinner back a bit, but no one seemed to mind. It was delicious all the same.
That put us getting back home about an hour & a half later than I’d expected. My husband & oldest daughter didn’t stay long out at my parents, but MIL stayed with us all day. So I dropped her off before I could get home with my Littles.
And unfortunately I found out that my MIL is back in contact with the MEGAbitch. The slutty, disgusting Rush-loving racist who is unfortunately my husband’s brother’s w___e. Feel free to fill that word however you deem fit. I truly don’t give a shit that she’s as pure as the driven snow (but she’s a “Christian”, so that’s ok!) or that her moral compass is busted/nonexistent. What really pisses me off about this bitch is the fact that she used an innocent POC to cheat on her [even more] racist partner. And she decided to cOnfEsS that shit to me 3 HOURS before we were to celebrate Christmas w my husband’s parents. (Sadly one of the very last Christmases of my FIL’s life. Also my son’s first Christmas. What a peach, eh?) Prior to that shitstorm, the ONLY thing this bitch said to me about her “indiscretion” was I’m not innocent
Her literal text to me was: “im sure you know that Ken* spoke with [his brother, aka OP’s husband] today. you may already know, but I def want to tell you that the guy I slept with was black. I know that's the worst offense. I know how Ken* feels about that. I just wanted you to know. like I said, I am not innocent. im so sorry.
[*name change - duh]

For example- my friends son, 7, is extremely picky. He will only ONLY eat certain chicken nuggets and fries, as well as yogurt cups, waffles, any and all candy and chips, slurpees, pop, juice, Gatorade, cookies and cupcakes. He literally eats nothing but the above mentioned foods.. and his mom seems very unbothered by it. She says so long as he’s eating she doesn’t care because food is always a fight with him and he wins 99.99% of the time and just ends up eating whatever junk food he wants if the perfect nuggets aren’t available. (i.e McDonalds or something similar). I’m genuinely worried for this poor boys health and would like to provide my friend some resources about the short and long term effects of this on her son.

I posted about this awhile back and did not get much response but I am gaslighting myself and need people who have gone through this or similar to help me be objective.
I will Try to keep this brief but it's a lot.
-long history of stricturing Crohn's of terminal ileum diagnosed in 2006. First resection Sept 2018, Last resection in April 2022. Surgeon told me he found Crohn's high up in small bowel, could not remove safely, hoped new biologic (Stelara) would take care of it.
-6 month delay in starting Stelara due to GI F up (forgot to send preauthorization)
-July 2022 began having severe upper gastric pain (under ribs and belly button) after even the smallest amount of food, followed by severe nausea and often vomiting. Within half hour multiple liquid BM's undigested food and insane amount of fluid. Began to eat less and less, moved to soft diet, and finally to complete liquids in August 2023
-July 2023-Oct 2023- Weight loss of 20 lbs over 3 month period. Many ER visits needed for rehydration and IV anti emetics and pain meds as could not keep down any oral meds. GI did colonoscopy but only found microscopic Crohn's in anastomosis site (he only took 2 biopsies from that area and nowhere else). CT's done in hospital showed thickening of wall of ascending colon, and collapsed bowel, free fluid in peritoneum. GI dismissed as "not reliable". Fecal Cal slightly elevated. Constant low grade anemia. After 4th ER visit in Oct 2023 they did a high res Ultrasound and I was admitted by surgery department. However, as I was urgent but not emergent, there were no beds available. Was given choice of staying in ER and receiving IV steroids, or going home and following up with GI. Chose home and was given Entocort. Entocort slowed down bowel from 30-50 bm's a day to ten. Did not help pain, nausea, vomiting, lack of ability to eat. After several desperate emails where I begged for help, said I wanted to die-GI ordered urgent MRI, would not change meds or give prednisone without "proof".
-November 2023-Began to experience fatigue like never before. Could hardly keep eyes open. This would be followed by severe upper gastric pain, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea that went on for days, followed by constipation for 1-2 days and severe bloating, only on the left side of belly which would be rock hard and hot to the touch. Then the diarrhea cycle woud begin again. Always pure liquid, sometimes black, always tons of mucous.
-Went to Mexico to visit my parents for the holidays where I usually feel better but still could not eat. Injecting myself with IM Gravol (anti emetic) just to keep fluids down. I lived off of chicken broth with rice. Saw GI in private hospital. Ordered full workup. Blood found in stool. 3 D CT ordered (could not find a vein for IV after 5 nurses, two doctors, and a radiologist with a vein finder so only had oral contrast) showed inflammation in small bowel, thickening of the ascending colon wall 11 mm, and inflammation of ileum. He wanted to send me to special IBD hospital in Mexico City for MRI but it would have cost 2500$ so I decided to wait till I got home to Canada where it would be free. Treated me with antibiotics for IBS (only available in Mexico and Germany) Zero improvement. I lived off of electrolyte drinks.
-Jan 29th 2024 returned to hospital because I could not keep any oral meds in (pills would be in toilet) also pain was 9/10, high fever, vomiting. Admitted again, but no beds. Left AMA with another prescription for Entocort.
-Feb 12 2024- High fever followed by two days of 40 plus liquid BM's, some of them bloody, all of them black. Husband insisted back to ER where I was admitted immediately. Cortisol levels 11 (close to adrenal failure) very low potassium. Doc said if we'd waited I likely would have died from heart event. Spent 8 + weeks in hospital having every kind of test imaginable. NOTHING showed on MRI, inflammation on CT, lower scope clear, upper endoscopy showed inflammation in esophagus, stomach, and duodenum. Negative for H Pylori, negative for celiac. Started on 150 mg of hydrocortisone for low cortisol to rescue my organs. MRI of brain showed small tumour on pituitary. Endocrinologist did ACTH test and was unhappy, kept me on 40 mg of hydrocortisone IV. PICC line insertion went awry when they Discovered I had complete stenosis of veins and needed port catheter surgically implanted. Was on TPN for 5 weeks. Needed pain meds and anti emetics every 4 hours or severe vomiting and diarrhea would ensue. 30-50 liquid bm's continued (they made me write down everything I ingested and every time I had a BM. They tested me for everything. No blood, NO CDiff, no parasites, no infection. High fever 104.5 plus delirium and CRP shot up to 50. Continued Anemia, blood work all over the place, even with TPN I needed potassium and sodium boluses 3 times a day.
-Requested pill endoscopy, GI said no Crohn's, no need for test. Suggested psych evaluation for a fucking eating disorder. Endocrinologist disagreed, said starvation and whatever disease process was causing symptoms was causing my cortisol issue. Psych diagnosed medical PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder (no shit) but NO eating disorder. Fired GI and hired IBD specialist from another city. Re ran all tests, CT showed huge diverticulum on duodenum otherwise clear. Was going to be moved to a ward from a private room. Had a panic attack because I could not share a bathroom and was not about to use a commode. Asked to be discharged after nearly 9 weeks. They were so overcrowded and basically did not know what else to do to help me, so they let me go even though I was still on TPN and NPO. Got a 5 minute instruction on how to insert a butterfly catheter for pain meds, and let go.
-Present-3 weeks later, still on liquid diet, (Boost drinks, blended oatmeal, yoghurt and soup) still on sub q and IM meds. Finally got new IBD doc to order capsule endoscopy and is treating me for SIBO (never been tested) plus set me up with nutritionist and psychologist for support. MRI repeated- totally clear.
I FEEL CRAZY. This is the sickest I have ever felt. It's been almost a year since I chewed food. The pain under my ribs just to the left of my belly button is now constant, whether I eat or not, pain meds barely take the edge off. Sometimes it's so intense I can hardly breathe. I keep passing out on the toilet. I projectile vomit daily, even using Gravol and Pantoprozole, the bile acid is awful. I've been doing tons of research and have learned that GDC and Jejunal Crohn's are extremely hard to diagnose. I have every single symptom and fit the criteria. Does this sound familiar to anyone????

Our usual meeting spot is about 20-30 min for her and about 30 min to 1.5 hours (depending on traffic) for me.
For context the relationship between my ex and I is contentious so i try not to talk to her unless it’s about the kids. We just had a 3 year court battle with kid withholding, a lot of her accusing me of being a bad dad and dangerous and me ultimately gaining primary custody. Our 15 year old son lives with us and sees his mom every other weekend. I pay for everything and it’s been hard getting her to even pay for some medical fees, though to be fair she buys him nice clothes and 200 dollar jordans occasionally.
I had a trip planned for ages over memorial day which is my ex’s weekend - when all of a sudden our son tells me last month his friend asked him to be in a quinceneara end of may. No details, nothing on time, just the date. I told him its his moms weekend and he needs to talk to her about it which he keeps claiming he did, as she even took him to a practice on her weekend. I also mentioned it to her.
I finally got the friend’s parent’s number out of my son this week and texted asking for details. Turns out it won’t end until 10-1030 pm and then they are driving the kids back to our city which is 45 min away making it super late for my ex to pick him up. I told her i can arrange for him to sleepover at his friends house that he sleeps over at often who will also he at the quince and she can get him the next morning if that’s easier.
So now she is mad at me saying I’m a bad co-parent and why am I going out of town, she would have preferred to switch weekends if she knew it was so late and she had to drive an hour, that he is 15 years old and too young to be out until 12 am (and shouldn’t be sleeping over at friend’s houses). I think we landed on her picking him up from the quince early because she doesn’t want him staying out but I feel like this is still somehow my fault because of how mad she was, like I should have cancelled my vacation or something and just taken the hit financially or shouldn’t have gone in the first place or should I have just told my son he couldn’t go to the quince?
AITA?

I’ve been on a low the last few days and I just don’t know if I’m over reacting.
I have mom guilt. I work. And I feel like I don’t spend enough time with my kids and at the same time that I don’t work hard enough.
Mother’s Day has always been rough. My kids are young. But it’s been enough years and I’ve had this talk with my husband a few years ago after he forgot about Mother’s Day (even though we literally went shopping the day before for mothers day gifts for our moms).
This year he didn’t tell me that we had to go to my in laws on Mother’s Day until 2 weeks before. So ten the kids decided to celebrate Mother’s Day a few days early. The kids made me a nice sweet gift and he helped. But he also wouldn’t get up with the kids that morning, repeatedly left me to take care of the kids alone while doing yard work, and never even said happy Mother’s Day to me. So I thought maybe on actual Mother’s Day he’d say something. Nope. Not a single mention.
Am I just a terrible mother? He’s a great dad and I praise him up and down. Everyone praises how good of a dad he is (he’s a SAHD). And he is. But I literally never get mentioned. Not by him. Not by my family. Not his family. Nothing. I know that I work but I try to spend all my free time with my family. I give him time off all the time and I try to let him sleep in most days when I’m not work.

About a week ago my mother (75 years old) called me up and asked if I would go to The Rolling Stones concert in Vegas with her. She had bought two tickets, her and my father and she told me she wanted to attend but that my dad wasn’t feeling very well. He is on oxygen when he is at home. He has COPD, a lung disease, and cannot get around much. Since it was a chance to hang with my mom a day before Mother’s Day and see the Stones I said heck yeah!!
I had already mentioned to my wife that on Mother’s Day when I return, we should grill some steak and scallops and lounge out a bit… play it by ear. My wife mentioned that grilling probably wasn’t a great idea and that the oldest of our two kids, our daughter, would be heading to Europe about an hour after we return home from Vegas the day after the concert (Sunday the 12th).
Our youngest (18 years old son) accompanied me to Vegas to stay at the relatives while my mother and I went to the Stones concert.
The next morning, Mothers Day, I woke up at my parents house, texted my wife Happy Mothers Day before even jumping out of the covers. We had a family church obligation to attend to until about noon before traveling back home to see my daughter off to the airport to Europe.
Here is where the drama begins. With all the hubbub of the concert the night before, the relatives and grandma being around, my son doesn’t text or call my wife (his mom) HMD that morning. I didn’t get a text back immediately from my wife when I texted her at about 8 am, HMD… I figured I’d let her sleep in if that’s what she wanted to do. My son and I do our church thing, my wife finally responds to my text saying that they are packing and repacking for my daughters Europe trip and that they want the packing job to be right. When we finally get home late in the afternoon, I give her the present that I bought my wife (her favorite perfume that she is nearly out of) and my son gives her his present… (a note and a Pink Yeti mug I had actually bought my wife a week ago that I hadn’t given her yet, just in case one of the kids hadn’t gotten her a gift for Mother’s Day).
Side note… My wife is very big on gifts. She is a great gift giver and anticipates good gift receiving.
When I walked in home from traveling I could also smell that she was cooking something, and there was a salad on the table. I figured she planned something she wanted to have for dinner, since I had been with my own mother since the day before and she, my wife had been with our daughter having a fun girls time, watching movies, getting a mani/pedi, having pho… THIS WAS NOT THE CASE. I got the evil eye right away. She started talking snarky to me, saying snide remarks which in turn, much to my chagrin I returned the remarks. It’s been tit for tat for the last 24 hours. She said her Mother’s Day was ruined and that it was my fault. That I should have planned the day for her. The blame is all in my court.
Ugh… I feel like every birthday, anniversary, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas… whatever day that retail America says I’m obligated to spend money to buy gifts… I’m not doing a good enough job. My wife buys our kids presents for Easter for hells sake. It’s too much. I don’t want anymore of it. Keep all the stupid gifts. It’s just the act of buying a thing and giving it. Its ridiculous.
Also… Am I supposed to be doting all over my wife on Mother’s Day with palm leaves and figs? If I am, I am. I just don’t see husbands doing all the work. I see kids…. Kids rubbing their moms back and making coupons for dishwashing and various chores. Kids taking care of moms and telling them what a great job they do raising them. In the arguments up to now, she is treating me like I am responsible for her Mother’s Day happiness and pointing at me saying she didn’t get what she wanted and that she didn’t have a good time. I can see how the husbands job is to orchestrate what the kids do for the moms but if I am wrong, I am wrong.
She is a great mom and I tell her that constantly. She knows I know that. I value her. My wife and I have a great relationship 99% of the time but this silly.