Counseling for meal card | | Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute

We need some extra help brainstorming! The head elder of our church officiated our wedding for free. We’ve been attending this church for about a year and a half, and are getting to know him and his wife pretty well, or at least as well as you can get to know old people from church. We want to do something to thank him. There’s no way he’d accept money. They even gave us a cash wedding gift. We’ve been brainstorming for over a month, and still have no great ideas what to give him. At his age, he doesn’t appear to have many giftable hobbies - just spending time with his family, leading Bible studies, playing acoustic guitar, taking care of his health, and generally being a typical old Texas man. Of course there’s always the restaurant gift card route, but we’d rather not do that. My husband suggested a gift card package for an overnight in a small tourist town nearby, but I think in order to do that right we’d have to pay for hotel and several meals, which could cost upwards of $400, and be too much. We considered souvenirs from the honeymoon, but that seemed to be more about us than them so we didn’t bring anything back. What else would you suggest?

My bf and I have been together for almost a year. He is a professional body piercer at a tattoo shop and makes 6 figures with tips, his salary, and the commission he makes off the expensive jewelry that they sell. This doesn't include the money that he invests. I have no idea how much he makes with that. But he's bragged about it a few times. I am a bartender, I make a decent amount of money for my age with no educational background. I entirely support myself, live on my own in an apartment, and am completely independent. I still make half of what he makes.
My boyfriend has a house, he is debt free, just bought a new car last year, supports his ex wife who still lives with him (whole other story), has tattoo appointments all the time, and buys expensive stuff for himself often. He is never generous with his money with me. I'm not asking him to buy me stuff, or pay for our meals all the time. I'm happy splitting the cost of things with him. But it just bothers me that he sees me struggle with money, knows that I am in a bunch of debt, and never offers to do those small things like pay for my portion of a meal occasionally or cover maybe a little more than only half of the groceries we buy together (especially since I'm the one always cooking for us).
For example, on valentines day I bought us couple massages that totaled 180$, he got me a card. It was a thoughtful card, but still. Later that day on valentines we went to the grocery store and I picked out some bathsalts bc I was low, two candles, body scrub and lotion. He watched me buy all of this, didn't offer to even buy one of those things for me. I've tried really hard to look past these things because I do love him a lot and he is a very sweet, loving, trusting person but it's frustrating. I have no problem fronting the bill for fun things for us to do together, but he never offers.
On top of all of this, he has told me all of his coworkers are hot, (has regretted it now that it became an issue, never said it again) but they are all very tattooed and pretty attractive ladies. A mutual friend of ours asked him one time what his favorite piercing to do was and he straight up said nipple piercings, with a smile. Right in front of me.
Bartending isn't easy, I physically work hard, deal with shitty customers sometimes, and sometimes shitty situations, like people pissing all over the bathroom floor or cursing at me for cutting them off, ect. It can be very fucking stressful. And making good tips is never guaranteed.
I feel like I have slowly been building up this resentment towards him about these things when I come home from work after a long, stressful night on my feet for 8 hours, making not a lot of money. While he gets to go to work, look at tits all day, in a generally relaxed environment, and come home making bank. I feel gross for feeling this way, I know I'm not entitled to his money. I don't want his money. But sometimes I feel like he's taking advantage of my generosity.
We went to Italy last year together and he told me he only had an American express card. Which never worked anywhere we went. So it was always me paying for everything everywhere because I have a Mastercard. He dislocated his shoulder on a hike out there, we had to get medics involved to get it back in place, they gave him morphine and stuff and I literally saw him pay with either a Visa or Mastercard right in front of me. Idk if it was the morphine or what the fuck, but he lied to me that whole trip about not having a card that works. I never brought this up, still haven't, as we have had plenty of other issues in our relationship.
We are going to Switzerland next week and he has told me to save money but has had like 5 or 6 new tattoo appointments in the past 2 months. I love him so much but his selfishness is really turning me off.

If anyone from Bethel is on here just trying to out people so they can be shunned, or you're getting ideas for what changes to make next, answer me this.
My parents are very elderly. My mom’s health is deteriorating. My dad is going through treatment for cancer. They have been “faithful servants” their ENTIRE lives. In fact they are still on the regular pioneer list. In my entire life I can’t remember a weekend they didn’t have someone over from the congregation or went out to visit others.
Where is their community now? They have not had a visit from anyone in their congregation or any of the congregations they have been in over the years for that matter, in quite a while now. Not only that, this organization had the audacity to make them feel they needed to help take care of the younger pioneers monetarily in today’s Watchtower study. The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is a multi billion dollar corporation. Since the end is “right around the corner” that will “happen any day now” (your words Stephen Lett In 2020) why don’t you help the younger pioneers out yourself? Mom and dad are on social security. Government aide. How are you helping my parents or any other elderly? Especially since most are on fixed incomes with no retirement
Let me give you a few suggestions:

Instead of telling people to stand at a cart or go door to door and hand business cards with your website on it so they can watch a video, why don’t you have them spend that time helping the elderly and needy in their congregation instead?
Instead of constantly drilling for donations to your multi billion dollar corporation, why don’t you suggest they take the elderly or widowed a meal. That does two things, it gives them the association they crave and helps them with their meals.
Why don’t you take some of those billions of dollars and instead of tie your members money up in constant lawsuits around the world, send monthly money to your elderly members. Make that money actually go to something good instead of trying to cover your asses.

I’m tired of hearing about the world wide work and how there are many poor witnesses that are still making monthly contributions to the organization. For what? What is the world wide work?? Preaching has basically come to a halt. Kingdom Halls aren’t being built like they were anymore. Where is all the money going? You should be transparent I would think.
Hey guys at the top - Try helping the elderly who have devoted their lives to free labor for you. Try helping the single moms that are barely making ends meet and come to the meetings looking haggard because they are so worn out. Try helping those who are barely making their bills month to month because they can’t get a better job because you told them not to get an education.
Damn you men. Damn you for putting my parents in the situation they are in now. Lonely and on a limited income after devoting their entire lives to you!!!

If anyone from Bethel is on here just trying to out people so they can be shunned, or you're getting ideas for what changes to make next, answer me this.
My parents are very elderly. My mom’s health is deteriorating. My dad is going through treatment for cancer. They have been “faithful servants” their ENTIRE lives. In fact they are still on the regular pioneer list. In my entire life I can’t remember a weekend they didn’t have someone over from the congregation or went out to visit others.
Where is their community now? They have not had a visit from anyone in their congregation or any of the congregations they have been in over the years for that matter, in quite a while now. Not only that, this organization had the audacity to make them feel they needed to help take care of the younger pioneers monetarily in today’s Watchtower study. The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is a multi billion dollar corporation. Since the end is “right around the corner” that will “happen any day now” (your words Stephen Lett In 2020) why don’t you help the younger pioneers out yourself? Mom and dad are on social security. Government aide. How are you helping my parents or any other elderly? Especially since most are on fixed incomes with no retirement
Let me give you a few suggestions:

Instead of telling people to stand at a cart or go door to door and hand business cards with your website on it so they can watch a video, why don’t you have them spend that time helping the elderly and needy in their congregation instead?
Instead of constantly drilling for donations to your multi billion dollar corporation, why don’t you suggest they take the elderly or widowed a meal. That does two things, it gives them the association they crave and helps them with their meals.
Why don’t you take some of those billions of dollars and instead of tie your members money up in constant lawsuits around the world, send monthly money to your elderly members. Make that money actually go to something good instead of trying to cover your asses.

I’m tired of hearing about the world wide work and how there are many poor witnesses that are still making monthly contributions to the organization. For what? What is the world wide work?? Preaching has basically come to a halt. Kingdom Halls aren’t being built like they were anymore. Where is all the money going? You should be transparent I would think.
Hey guys at the top - Try helping the elderly who have devoted their lives to free labor for you. Try helping the single moms that are barely making ends meet and come to the meetings looking haggard because they are so worn out. Try helping those who are barely making their bills month to month because they can’t get a better job because you told them not to get an education.
Damn you men. Damn you for putting my parents in the situation they are in now. Lonely and on a limited income after devoting their entire lives to you!!!

1. PERSONALIA

Age: 28
Education: High School (ASO)
Work experience : 5 years
Civil status: Legal cohabitation
Dependent people/children: 0

2. EMPLOYER PROFILE

SectoIndustry: IT
Amount of employees: +-200
Multinational? NO

3. CONTRACT & CONDITIONS

Current job title: Automation Engineer
Job description: Set up automated processes for data collection, billing, ...
Seniority: 2 years
Official hours/week : 40
Average real hours/week incl. overtime: 40
Shiftwork or 9 to 5 (flexible?): flexible 9 to 5
On-call duty: NO
Vacation days/year: 20 days + 12 ADV days

4. SALARY

Gross salary/month: €2.816,17
Net salary/month: €2.220,78
Netto compensation: €185
Mobility budget/cabike/...: Electric company car
13th month (full? partial?): Full
Meal vouchers: €0
Ecocheques: €188/YEAR
Group insurance: Yes
Other insurances: Hospitalization
Other benefits (bonuses, stocks options, ... ): €50 off my internet bill, unlimited fuel card in EU (electric car)

5. MOBILITY

City/region of work: Kontich
Distance home-work: +- 30 minutes
How do you commute? By car
How is the travel home-work compensated: Company car
Telework days/week: 3

6. OTHER

How easily can you plan a day off: Very easy. Even possible a couple days before.
Is your job stressful? Not really. Positive work environment with supportive coworkers.
Responsible for personnel (reports): 0

Yesterday, I went to Chili's (restaurant) with my friends. I paid for half of the meal, which was like $47. My friend gave me $20 to give to my parents because I used their card, so I went to give the $20 to my mom, and she said to keep it and use it for gas. Now, the other friend is saying I’m obligated to give the $20 back to her because my parents didn’t want it. It's her money, and she gave it to me under the impression it was going to my parents, but technically if I give it back, it'd mean she ate for free.

My partner and I are bringing in £84k, he has an excess of 20k in debt and is trying to pay it off quickly and as a result is only left with £300 after rent and credit card and loan payments. My previous employer really messed up my tax forms and I’ve had a lower personal allowance and I’ve paying a higher tax since the last year. After bills left with about £600. Factor in groceries and we have £500 for life, shopping, pet insurance, pet food, work meals and fuel, etc. We are extremely very tight at the moment. We haven’t been paying into our retirement fund at all. We need that extra £100-£200 to live on. We are laser focused on paying off the debt and live life normally, no beans on toast, just with peace of mind.
I’m about to switch roles and receive a pay rise. Shall I start putting money into the pension when I do? We really wanted to wait till we both make over £52k. Our careers will grow and he alone will eventually bring in £100k+ I might eventually be capped at £60-£80k. Is the pension pot worth worrying about?

So this girl (22f) was in one of my (25m) university classes 2 years ago, and I immediately thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, just absolutely gorgeous. Didn't think much of it because I was in a relationship at the time (which I ended a couple years later) and then when I was single again I decided I had nothing to lose with following & messaging this girl from my class on instagram. We had a ton in common, i'm very passionate about mountaineering & photography and she was very into hiking, she was a very talented athlete / played on the university team where I also played on university team, we were both into painting, running & working out, and also into videogames. It felt like we were the perfect match for each other. Our first date went really well, it was so easy to talk to each other and there was instant chemistry. She had such a strong joyfulness in her that was so infectious. But at the end of the date, she said she needed a bit of time to think about if she's ready to go on more dates because she had just recently gotten out of a 3-month relationship a month back and a relationship before that one that ended terribly. I thought that was a fine idea and appreciated her taking time to make sure she's ready, and I had also just ended a 3 year relationship (which i told her about and had lost feelings for my ex quite a while before I broke up with her). I let her be for a few weeks, then messaged her again to see if she would be interested in a second date. Our second date was the best date of my life, we met up early in the morning and went hiking to a nice view, shared really deep things about ourselves and felt like we already had such a deep connection. I've been in a 1.5 year relationship, a 3 year relationship, but have never felt something that felt as right and comfortable as I did with this girl. We then afterwards went to my favourite thai restaurant (she ended up skipping one of her classes because she wanted to keep spending time with me), and then eventually went back to my place and played mario and cards, and one thing lead to another and she slept over at my house (10/10 never felt so much chem), and then I made her breakfast in the morning. Our second date was over 24 hours long and I just felt like I was on top of the world with her, and could tell she felt the same. She said that she feels so safe and comfortable with me, and couldn't get tired of spending time with me even after 24 hours straight together. We decided we were going to take things really slow in terms of putting a label on us, so we continued going on dates and hanging out almost every day for about 4 weeks. She was the most encouraging person I had ever met, very often telling me she cared about me and how great of a man I am, how thoughtful I am, how attractive I am and that she really appreciates me. She said she had never been treated so well before. I bought her flowers and chocolate and would drop off food for her while she was studying. She actually cried of joy once when I wrote her a really nice card with some flowers (the exact types she said she liked) and chocolate, and was so unbelievably appreciative. She would bring me donuts and coffee while i was working sometimes, and bring ingredients over to cook dinners and we had many sleepovers together. Everything was going amazing, I had never been treated so well by a girl and it felt so easy to put into the relationship everything I could, it just felt so right and healthy. But then, she started having some mental issues, sobbing in front of me about issues with her best friend / roommate becoming distant & cold to her, issues with her crazy ex of 2 year relationship (who cheated on her with 2 underage girls and got in trouble with police for it). The pedophile ex was leaving bible verses about forgiveness and flowers on her car and shit, and kept appearing where she was on campus. I wanted to go talk to him and tell him off but the girl said I was the only person in her life not connected to drama with him and she wanted to keep it that way. A couple of her friends had continued being friends with her ex which made her feel very betrayed, and seemingly everyone in her campus life was connected to him one way or another, and she said I felt like an escape from that traumatic situation. And on top of that, she was very stressed out by her heavy course-load. She was also supposed to be finding a place off-campus to live the next year with her best friend, but they were having issues in their friendship. She started coming over less and not answering texts as often and felt very different from her normal self and she started going to counselling too. I was as supportive as I could possibly be and she was so appreciative of me, but I could tell she was struggling. I would be there while she would cry and vent and listen and talk her through it all, calm her down. She said that she feels so much better when she's with me, but feels so bad that she's relying on me. Then she started bringing up a few times that she wants to talk about "what we are", so one day when we were having a picnic at a park she brings it up and I say some really nice things and that I really want to become official when she's ready. She says that she wants me to make it a special moment when I ask her to be official and she seems very happy and excited about it all. Then, from this point on, she becomes very scarce, taking a whole day to answer texts sometimes, only being able to hang out about once or twice a week for short periods. One night when she was over, she asked, "how do you have so much to give in this relationship? You're amazing. I wish so badly I could give the same but I'm struggling mentally right now and so stressed about school and other things. I'm scared of hurting you because of how I am right now." I assured her that I fully understand that there's periods where one can give more than the other, and I just want to be there to help her through what she's going through.
She also was supposed to be back with her parents for the summer after school ended, 4 hours away from where I live, as she had summer work lined up there, which we already talked about and were okay doing mostly long distance until she's back in september. We wouldn't be able to see each other often though because she worked on weekends, and i work mon-fri.
At the end of march, she went home to visit parents for 4 days to get away from everything causing her stress. I didn't hear much from her while she was gone, but when she came back, she asked if we could talk. She drove over, and said some things "i've been very distant for the last while and I am really sorry, you deserve so much better. I like you and you have all the qualities I want in a man. I feel frustrated that I can't give in the relationship right now because of my mental struggles. You have been so thoughtful and encouraging and giving so much, and I appreciate it so much, and I usually can give a lot myself in a relationship. I feel guilty that I am relying on you so much for my wellbeing right now. I think I need to be single and spend time getting myself out of these mental struggles on my own without relying on someone else. The next girl you end up with is going to be so lucky to have you"
I told her some things like "I feel really bad about what you are going through, but I don't want another girl, I just want to be there to help you through and make this relationship work. You have made me feel so special, I finally felt like I found someone who treats me so well. But if this is what's best for you, I am not going to try to change your mind. I will be sad, but I will be okay. I am not mad at you and I will not hold anything against you. Don't doubt in yourself, I know you are going to excel finishing off the semester, you are so intelligent and hard-working. In these hard times is when you will learn the most about yourself and I know you will get out of this rut at some point and have gained so much wisdom through it all."
She then teary-eyed said "thank you for everything you have done for me. You have been so mature and understanding through everything. You are truly amazing and so intelligent and I appreciate all the encouragement and support you have given me, it has helped me so much."
I then said,"do you think we could try again in the future when you are feeling better, after summer when you're back?"
She said "i don't know. I don't want you to be waiting for me."
I said "I won't be hung up on you. But send me a text if you are feeling better in the new semester."
She said "okay" with a smile on her face.
We hugged and said our goodbyes. It's been a month now, I haven't messaged her but think about her often, throughout every day. I miss her tremendously, but I am still able to have fun in life and hanging out with friends, working out and following passions. So I'm glad I'm not totally messed up, I just simply miss her a lot. We still follow each other on social media and she watches all my stories, almost instantly after I post them seemingly when previously she was rarely on her phone, which likely means absolutely nothing but. I'm trying to kill the hope that is still lingering in me for my own mental wellbeing, but can't help myself but think about trying to reach out to her in 4 months when she's back to see how she's doing and if we can try again. She said when she was breaking up with me that she likes me and I have all the qualities she wants in a man, so I feel like I have a chance still if the stars align... but I am also open to other options and meeting other girls when I am healed up. But damn do I miss her.
Do you think she simply wasn't interested in me anymore and her reason for breaking up was a cover-up? Or do you think she simply had way too much going on in her life causing mental issues, and she just needed to escape everything and reset, build herself back up to normal while spending time back with her parents 4 hours away for the summer.

So this girl (22f) was in one of my (25m) university classes 2 years ago, and I immediately thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, just absolutely gorgeous. Didn't think much of it because I was in a relationship at the time (which I ended a couple years later) and then when I was single again I decided I had nothing to lose with following & messaging this girl from my class on instagram. We had a ton in common, i'm very passionate about mountaineering & photography and she was very into hiking, she was a very talented athlete / played on the university team where I also played on university team, we were both into painting, running & working out, and also into videogames. It felt like we were the perfect match for each other. Our first date went really well, it was so easy to talk to each other and there was instant chemistry. She had such a strong joyfulness in her that was so infectious. But at the end of the date, she said she needed a bit of time to think about if she's ready to go on more dates because she had just recently gotten out of a 3-month relationship a month back and a relationship before that one that ended terribly. I thought that was a fine idea and appreciated her taking time to make sure she's ready, and I had also just ended a 3 year relationship (which i told her about and had lost feelings for my ex quite a while before I broke up with her). I let her be for a few weeks, then messaged her again to see if she would be interested in a second date. Our second date was the best date of my life, we met up early in the morning and went hiking to a nice view, shared really deep things about ourselves and felt like we already had such a deep connection. I've been in a 1.5 year relationship, a 3 year relationship, but have never felt something that felt as right and comfortable as I did with this girl. We then afterwards went to my favourite thai restaurant (she ended up skipping one of her classes because she wanted to keep spending time with me), and then eventually went back to my place and played mario and cards, and one thing lead to another and she slept over at my house (10/10 never felt so much chem), and then I made her breakfast in the morning. Our second date was over 24 hours long and I just felt like I was on top of the world with her, and could tell she felt the same. She said that she feels so safe and comfortable with me, and couldn't get tired of spending time with me even after 24 hours straight together. We decided we were going to take things really slow in terms of putting a label on us, so we continued going on dates and hanging out almost every day for about 4 weeks. She was the most encouraging person I had ever met, very often telling me she cared about me and how great of a man I am, how thoughtful I am, how attractive I am and that she really appreciates me. She said she had never been treated so well before. I bought her flowers and chocolate and would drop off food for her while she was studying. She actually cried of joy once when I wrote her a really nice card with some flowers (the exact types she said she liked) and chocolate, and was so unbelievably appreciative. She would bring me donuts and coffee while i was working sometimes, and bring ingredients over to cook dinners and we had many sleepovers together. Everything was going amazing, I had never been treated so well by a girl and it felt so easy to put into the relationship everything I could, it just felt so right and healthy. But then, she started having some mental issues, sobbing in front of me about issues with her best friend / roommate becoming distant & cold to her, issues with her crazy ex of 2 year relationship (who cheated on her with 2 underage girls and got in trouble with police for it). The pedophile ex was leaving bible verses about forgiveness and flowers on her car and shit, and kept appearing where she was on campus. I wanted to go talk to him and tell him off but the girl said I was the only person in her life not connected to drama with him and she wanted to keep it that way. A couple of her friends had continued being friends with her ex which made her feel very betrayed, and seemingly everyone in her campus life was connected to him one way or another, and she said I felt like an escape from that traumatic situation. And on top of that, she was very stressed out by her heavy course-load. She was also supposed to be finding a place off-campus to live the next year with her best friend, but they were having issues in their friendship. She started coming over less and not answering texts as often and felt very different from her normal self and she started going to counselling too. I was as supportive as I could possibly be and she was so appreciative of me, but I could tell she was struggling. I would be there while she would cry and vent and listen and talk her through it all, calm her down. She said that she feels so much better when she's with me, but feels so bad that she's relying on me. Then she started bringing up a few times that she wants to talk about "what we are", so one day when we were having a picnic at a park she brings it up and I say some really nice things and that I really want to become official when she's ready. She says that she wants me to make it a special moment when I ask her to be official and she seems very happy and excited about it all. Then, from this point on, she becomes very scarce, taking a whole day to answer texts sometimes, only being able to hang out about once or twice a week for short periods. One night when she was over, she asked, "how do you have so much to give in this relationship? You're amazing. I wish so badly I could give the same but I'm struggling mentally right now and so stressed about school and other things. I'm scared of hurting you because of how I am right now." I assured her that I fully understand that there's periods where one can give more than the other, and I just want to be there to help her through what she's going through.
She also was supposed to be back with her parents for the summer after school ended, 4 hours away from where I live, as she had summer work lined up there, which we already talked about and were okay doing mostly long distance until she's back in september. We wouldn't be able to see each other often though because she worked on weekends, and i work mon-fri.
At the end of march, she went home to visit parents for 4 days to get away from everything causing her stress. I didn't hear much from her while she was gone, but when she came back, she asked if we could talk. She drove over, and said some things "i've been very distant for the last while and I am really sorry, you deserve so much better. I like you and you have all the qualities I want in a man. I feel frustrated that I can't give in the relationship right now because of my mental struggles. You have been so thoughtful and encouraging and giving so much, and I appreciate it so much, and I usually can give a lot myself in a relationship. I feel guilty that I am relying on you so much for my wellbeing right now. I think I need to be single and spend time getting myself out of these mental struggles on my own without relying on someone else. The next girl you end up with is going to be so lucky to have you"
I told her some things like "I feel really bad about what you are going through, but I don't want another girl, I just want to be there to help you through and make this relationship work. You have made me feel so special, I finally felt like I found someone who treats me so well. But if this is what's best for you, I am not going to try to change your mind. I will be sad, but I will be okay. I am not mad at you and I will not hold anything against you. Don't doubt in yourself, I know you are going to excel finishing off the semester, you are so intelligent and hard-working. In these hard times is when you will learn the most about yourself and I know you will get out of this rut at some point and have gained so much wisdom through it all."
She then teary-eyed said "thank you for everything you have done for me. You have been so mature and understanding through everything. You are truly amazing and so intelligent and I appreciate all the encouragement and support you have given me, it has helped me so much."
I then said,"do you think we could try again in the future when you are feeling better, after summer when you're back?"
She said "i don't know. I don't want you to be waiting for me."
I said "I won't be hung up on you. But send me a text if you are feeling better in the new semester."
She said "okay" with a smile on her face.
We hugged and said our goodbyes. It's been a month now, I haven't messaged her but think about her often, throughout every day. I miss her tremendously, but I am still able to have fun in life and hanging out with friends, working out and following passions. So I'm glad I'm not totally messed up, I just simply miss her a lot. We still follow each other on social media and she watches all my stories, almost instantly after I post them seemingly when previously she was rarely on her phone, which likely means absolutely nothing but. I'm trying to kill the hope that is still lingering in me for my own mental wellbeing, but can't help myself but think about trying to reach out to her in 4 months when she's back to see how she's doing and if we can try again. She said when she was breaking up with me that she likes me and I have all the qualities she wants in a man, so I feel like I have a chance still if the stars align... but I am also open to other options and meeting other girls when I am healed up. But damn do I miss her.
Do you think she simply wasn't interested in me anymore and her reason for breaking up was a cover-up? Or do you think she simply had way too much going on in her life causing mental issues, and she just needed to escape everything and reset, build herself back up to normal while spending time back with her parents 4 hours away for the summer.
TL;DR:
Have an absolutely amazing couple month stint with my dream girl in every way, never been treated so well by a girl, she's so invested in the relationship and me, she says she wants me to make it a special moment when I ask her to be official, she starts getting bad mental health issues and breaks down crying in front of me often, acts very different than the super joyful and happy girl she was before. Because of her past traumatic relationship (being cheated on with underage girls), friends betraying her and staying in contact with her pedophile ex that lives on same university campus as her, her pedo ex leaving flowers and bible verses on her car, her best friend who she's supposed to find a place to live with becoming cold and distant, her heavy course load stressing her out heavily. She ends us just before I can ask her to be official, because she frustrated she can't treat me as well as she wants to in her current state, she feels dependant on me for her wellbeing, and she goes home to live with her parents for the summer to reset and try to get healthy again. Was this a cover-up for why she ended the relationship, because i feel like if you truly like someone you would make it work through the hard times? Or did she just simply have way too much stress going on in her life and needed to escape everything.

Sorry this is going to be long because there's just so much drama that happened and so much that led up to everything.
Back story: me (17 trans male) and my friend we'll call her Clover (18 F) have been friends for four years. Over this time she has done things like steal and compulsively lie to both me and my GF (18 F). She's stolen at least 1.5K worth of things from both of us, and potentially her other ex-friends as well. She's mainly stolen clothes under the pretext that she was going to borrow it for a couple days, and then never gave it back, but has also stolen jewelry that we let her borrow for A NIGHT. There are many other things that add to her shittyness as a person as a whole, like the fact that she has gotten physically violent with me because I made a joking remark about his Bowl Cut. Not to mention she's done drugs, drank, vaped, and smoked, all on school property before. She's extremely Bipolar, like both of my sisters, and one or more of my GF's sisters, so I've tried to be as understanding as I could with her even though she absolutely refuses to take her medication, just like my sister did, and my sister was very very abusive.
Now to the prom incident. All of us had been planning to go to our last prom together for MONTHS. We had everything planned down to who's house we were going to meet at before, and after prom, where we were going for food before and after, and we made she promise us to our faces that she was not going to make prom all about her. Well prom day rolls around and I show up at my GF's house at 08:55 (25 minutes later than we agreed because my mother wouldn't get up to drive me, but I called my GF at 08:30 telling her I would be very late and that I was sorry). Of course my girlfriend understood and said she was expecting that and that it wasn't a big deal. Well I got there and I helped her into her dress, which we had to change because it was too big around the bust. We expected Clover there at 16:30, and the prom started at 19:00 sharp. I texted Clover on my GF's phone asking her if she was on her way, two minutes later she responded with "I'm twelve minutes away". Yes I know it seems weird to text her on my girlfriend's phone, but she asked me to do it and I didn't have Clover's number saved in my phone. Fifteen minutes went by and Clover still wasn't there. My GF texted her asking "Hey, where are you. We thought you'd be here by now", but I managed to talk my girlfriend into giving her a five minute grace period because she might be on the other side of the tracks waiting for a train to pass. But nope, right away we received a text saying "I'm at home waiting for my clothes to dry.
Obviously we were mad because she said she was twelve minutes away, not waiting for her laundry. If she had been honest from us at the start, we would have been fine with waiting an extra half hour for her clothes, but she lied to us, and we both knew that where she lived was NOT twelve minutes away, it was actually half an hour away. Well when Clover finally got to Anna's house (My GF) she made Anna get out of bed to open an unlocked front door for her, even though we both called her and said the door was unlocked. While we were waiting for Clover we were laying on the bed cuddling watching Tiger And Bunny, an anime I really like. Well when Clover finally walks in she sees what I'm watching and starts heavily judging. I brushed it off thinking that maybe she really just thought that Boku No Hero Academia was better, and I didn't mind. I turned it off and we started getting to work on her makeup and helping her into her dress. Whenever I do makeup I always have the very paint for the people in the back look, or what's called a Drag Queen look, because I can't see crap without my glasses. Clover started laughing and making fun of the fact that I looked so bad, but I got over it and we all went out to eat before going to prom. At this point it's about 17:30 when we get to the restaurant that we were having dinner at, and wouldn't you know it, Clover misplaced her Credit Card somewhere. My GF had agreed to only pay for me because my mother didn't want to give me any money, but she paid for Clover too out of the kindness of her heart (I don't deserve this woman!) which thankfully we all ordered small enough dishes that my GF had three US dollars left in her wallet (We were only expecting to pay for our meals and get something that would fill us both up). The entire time we're there Clover is complaining about the man who took our order saying he was "Being really creepy and kept staring at her chest" and other things.
We got to prom and all was well for the first part of our visit, but halfway through Clover and Anna came out to the balcony where I was shouting for me (I had been looking for them for fifteen minutes and then decided to wait out there because they knew I loved to take pictures of the sky and trees). Clover said that we were leaving and she looked like she was on the brink of tears, when I asked why she stormed off and Anna said we were going to an ice cream parlour. We went down the stairs, grabbed a coffee on our way out, and said goodbye to our teachers. Out in the car park Clover started SOBBING, and I, not wanting to deal with that because of what happened last time she started crying, started following Anna and her friend Riley (18 M). Anna turned around and said that I was going with Clover, and I didn't want to dispute it out of respect for my girlfriend, just went over to Clover. Who started yelling at me from across the car park saying how Anna was her first priority out of everyone there. I really wanted to tell her that her first priority should be her and the people in her car, not someone else in a different car. But I bit my tongue and got in back and we drove off, following one of the guys from the party who told us to follow him to the parlour, though I'm pretty sure that he got his driver's license off the back of a Cereal Box because of how much he was swerving the entire time, though Clover wasn't any better because she was swerving with him and even going above the speed limit.
Well we get down to were the parlour was located and the guy turned left instead of right to where we were supposed to go, all of us in the car told her to just turn right and forget about him, but she didn't listen and followed him. We were going about ~40-48 KMPH in a 3KMPH drive through. Well Clover hit a curb so hard going that fast that we literally almost flipped in the drive. We all heard a very nasty sound come from the drivers side of the vehicle and me and other guy in the back looked at each other with a look of pure fear. We pulled into the car park of the ice cream parlour and Clover got out, looked at her tires and started screaming. I almost was forgotten and left in the back because her father had the car done to were the back doors ONLY opened from the outside. The other guy who was in the car with us let me out and Clover was still screaming, she was blaming everyone including us, the people who were in the car with her. Well I went inside and I'm not going to lie I was sobbing as well. My GF managed to calm me down, and she got a soft ice cream for me. I then remembered that Clover had my Sterling Silver necklace with three cultured Diamonds on it, that I let her borrow for the night and I explicitly asked her to give them back to me when I asked. I got out to the car park and she was still crying, I carefully went up to her and she turned around and screamed at me "I'M NOT TAKING YOU HOME!" and I calmly replied with "I need my necklace back, please." but she stormed into her car, which had two flats both on the driver's side and she left.
So, am I the asshole for not wanting to be friends with her after that?

So my daughter was recently accepted to UW (always her first choice so she is super pumped). We are looking at the dining plans. Unlike places that use 1 "swipe" for a given meal, it looks like at UW buy a plan level and then subtract the amount of your meal with your card until you use that up. What is the difference between that and just using your own ATM card? Seems like it is not so much a "meal plan" as a debit card. Am I missing something?
Thanks for any insight from someone who goes there.

So this girl (22f) was in one of my (25m) university classes 2 years ago, and I immediately thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, just absolutely gorgeous. Didn't think much of it because I was in a relationship at the time (which I ended a couple years later) and then decided I had nothing to lose with following & messaging this girl from my class on instagram. We had a ton in common, i'm very passionate about mountaineering & photography and she was very into hiking, she was a very talented athlete / played on the university team where I also played on university team, we were both into painting, running & working out, and also into videogames. It felt like we were the perfect match for each other. Our first date went really well, it was so easy to talk to each other and there was instant chemistry. She had such a strong joyfulness in her that was so infectious. But at the end of the date, she said she needed a bit of time to think about if she's ready to go on more dates because she had just recently gotten out of a 3-month relationship a month back and a relationship before that one that ended terribly. I thought that was a fine idea and appreciated her taking time to make sure she's ready, and I had also just ended a 3 year relationship (which i told her about and had lost feelings for my ex quite a while before I broke up with her). I let her be for a few weeks, then messaged her again to see if she would be interested in a second date. Our second date was the best date of my life, we met up early in the morning and went hiking to a nice view, shared really deep things about ourselves and felt like we already had such a deep connection. I've been in a 1.5 year relationship, a 3 year relationship, but have never felt something that felt as right and comfortable as I did with this girl. We then afterwards went to my favourite thai restaurant (she ended up skipping one of her classes because she wanted to keep spending time with me), and then eventually went back to my place and played mario and cards, and one thing lead to another and she slept over at my house (10/10 never felt so much chem), and then I made her breakfast in the morning. Our second date was over 24 hours long and I just felt like I was on top of the world with her, and could tell she felt the same. She said that she feels so safe and comfortable with me, and couldn't get tired of spending time with me even after 24 hours straight together. We decided we were going to take things really slow in terms of putting a label on us, so we continued going on dates and hanging out almost every day for about 4 weeks. She was the most encouraging person I had ever met, very often telling me she cared about me and how great of a man I am, how thoughtful I am, how attractive I am and that she really appreciates me. She said she had never been treated so well before. I bought her flowers and chocolate and would drop off food for her while she was studying. She actually cried of joy once when I wrote her a really nice card with some flowers (the exact types she said she liked) and chocolate, and was so unbelievably appreciative. She would bring me donuts and coffee while i was working sometimes, and bring ingredients over to cook dinners and we had many sleepovers together. Everything was going amazing, I had never been treated so well by a girl and it felt so easy to put into the relationship everything I could, it just felt so right and healthy. But then, she started having some mental issues, sobbing in front of me about issues with her best friend / roommate becoming distant & cold to her, issues with her crazy ex of 2 year relationship (who cheated on her with 2 underage girls and got in trouble with police for it). The pedophile ex was leaving bible verses about forgiveness and flowers on her car and shit, and kept appearing where she was on campus. I wanted to go talk to him and tell him off but the girl said I was the only person in her life not connected to drama with him and she wanted to keep it that way. A couple of her friends had continued being friends with her ex which made her feel very betrayed, and seemingly everyone in her campus life was connected to him one way or another, and she said I felt like an escape from that traumatic situation. And on top of that, she was very stressed out by her heavy course-load. She was also supposed to be finding a place off-campus to live the next year with her best friend, but they were having issues in their friendship. She started coming over less and not answering texts as often and felt very different from her normal self and she started going to counselling too. I was as supportive as I could possibly be and she was so appreciative of me, but I could tell she was struggling. I would be there while she would cry and vent and listen and talk her through it all, calm her down. She said that she feels so much better when she's with me, but feels so bad that she's relying on me. Then she started bringing up a few times that she wants to talk about "what we are", so one day when we were having a picnic at a park she brings it up and I say some really nice things and that I really want to become official when she's ready. She says that she wants me to make it a special moment when I ask her to be official and she seems very happy and excited about it all. Then, from this point on, she becomes very scarce, taking a whole day to answer texts sometimes, only being able to hang out about once or twice a week for short periods. One night when she was over, she asked, "how do you have so much to give in this relationship? You're amazing. I wish so badly I could give the same but I'm struggling mentally right now and so stressed about school and other things. I'm scared of hurting you because of how I am right now." I assured her that I fully understand that there's periods where one can give more than the other, and I just want to be there to help her through what she's going through.
She also was supposed to be back with her parents for the summer after school ended, 4 hours away from where I live, as she had summer work lined up there, which we already talked about and were okay doing mostly long distance until she's back in september. We wouldn't be able to see each other often though because she worked on weekends, and i work mon-fri.
At the end of march, she went home to visit parents for 4 days to get away from everything causing her stress. I didn't hear much from her while she was gone, but when she came back, she asked if we could talk. She drove over, and said some things "i've been very distant for the last while and I am really sorry, you deserve so much better. I like you and you have all the qualities I want in a man. I feel frustrated that I can't give in the relationship right now because of my mental struggles. You have been so thoughtful and encouraging and giving so much, and I appreciate it so much, and I usually can give a lot myself in a relationship. I feel guilty that I am relying on you so much for my wellbeing right now. I think I need to be single and spend time getting myself out of these mental struggles on my own without relying on someone else. The next girl you end up with is going to be so lucky to have you"
I told her some things like "I feel really bad about what you are going through, but I don't want another girl, I just want to be there to help you through and make this relationship work. You have made me feel so special, I finally felt like I found someone who treats me so well. But if this is what's best for you, I am not going to try to change your mind. I will be sad, but I will be okay. I am not mad at you and I will not hold anything against you. Don't doubt in yourself, I know you are going to excel finishing off the semester, you are so intelligent and hard-working. In these hard times is when you will learn the most about yourself and I know you will get out of this rut at some point and have gained so much wisdom through it all."
She then teary-eyed said "thank you for everything you have done for me. You have been so mature and understanding through everything. You are truly amazing and so intelligent and I appreciate all the encouragement and support you have given me, it has helped me so much."
I then said,"do you think we could try again in the future when you are feeling better, after summer when you're back?"
She said "i don't know. I don't want you to be waiting for me."
I said "I won't be hung up on you. But send me a text if you are feeling better in the new semester."
She said "okay" with a smile on her face.
We hugged and said our goodbyes. It's been a month now, I haven't messaged her but think about her often, throughout every day. I miss her tremendously, but I am still able to have fun in life and hanging out with friends, working out and following passions. So I'm glad I'm not totally messed up, I just simply miss her a lot. We still follow each other on social media and she watches all my stories, almost instantly after I post them seemingly when previously she was rarely on her phone, which likely means absolutely nothing but. I'm trying to kill the hope that is still lingering in me for my own mental wellbeing, but can't help myself but think about trying to reach out to her in 4 months when she's back to see how she's doing and if we can try again. She said when she was breaking up with me that she likes me and I have all the qualities she wants in a man, so I feel like I have a chance still if the stars align... but I am also open to other options and meeting other girls when I am healed up. But damn do I miss her.
Do you think she simply wasn't interested in me anymore and her reason for breaking up was a cover-up? Or do you think she simply had way too much going on in her life causing mental issues, and she just needed to escape everything and reset, build herself back up to normal while spending time back with her parents 4 hours away for the summer.

Recently got back from an incredible 19 days in Japan. I’m really feeling the post-Japan blues now, but writing about the trip and sharing what I learned feels like a nice way to honour the memories I made.
I (35M) travelled to Japan with my partner (41M) from Canada. We were there from March 26 to April 13 - these dates were “chosen” for us because we were attending a wedding in Tokyo. We got to wear hakamas, walk in the procession at Meiji Jingu, and observe a Shinto wedding ceremony first-hand.
We did the Golden Route + Kanazawa, however, many travelers have already written about this route so I’ll try to offer new stories to interested readers instead.

About us and high-level trip summary:

Our entire itinerary consisted of: Tokyo (+ trip to Kawaguchiko), Hakone, Osaka (+ trips to Himeji and Nara), Kyoto (+ trip to Hiroshima), Kanazawa (+ trip to Shirakawa-go), and then Tokyo again for the final night in Kichijoji.
Stayed at a total of 7 hotels and made good use of the luggage delivery service. Usually took 1 day, but sometimes 2, so plan ahead.
We got the JR West All Area Pass, which let us go to Hiroshima, Himeji, and Kanazawa from Osaka/Kyoto (plus a few other small trips). Not only was this worth it for us in terms of monetary value, but the built-in flexibility came in clutch i.e taking the train at our leisure and feeling much less stress over seat reservations or waiting in line. I used this website to help me determine which pass to get: https://www.japan-guide.com/railpass/
As mentioned earlier, we attended our close friends’ wedding in Tokyo, which took place at Meiji Jingu and Meiji Kinenkan. It was a truly special and once-in-a-lifetime event. Being photographed by the sightseers at Meiji Jingu was also an interesting experience!
We went out on weekend nights and checked out the popular places in Shinjuku Nichome (i.e the gay village). While they were fun, you need to dig deeper to find the places that make Nichome stand out from other gaybourhoods around the world.
Did not make a lot of food reservations because we read how easy it was to find good food around every corner. We found this to be largely true and ate well on our trip (including many konbini meals and bento boxes on the train), but we look forward to diving deeper into the culinary world on trip #2.
One of my favourite phrases was: Nani ga oishii desu ka? It means ‘What is tasty here?’ and is like asking the restaurant for their recommendation. I never got a bad result with this question.
The ryokan, onsen, and kaiseki from our 1 night stay in Hakone were all amazing. It was probably our favourite room and meal on the trip. We would certainly return to Hakone and stay 2 nights next time.
Saw a geisha performance in Kanazawa that was geared towards visitors and it was so fun and fascinating. My partner got to play taiko drums with a geisha!
The big tourist must-sees were nice, but I’ll fondly remember all the times we just wandered the streets, witnessing small slices of other people’s lives.
Kichijoji ended up being our favourite area of Tokyo.
I planned this trip meticulously, but many items still ended up falling through or needed to be re-arranged due to various reasons (fatigue, sickness, timing mistakes). I think you will need to make peace with this and be prepared to be flexible with your plans, outside of pre-booked reservations.

Detailed report:

Before the flight

There were a few things we did before the trip began to help us out:

Picked up a Wise card, allowing us to withdraw cash without paying extra fees. The fees can really add up.
Reserved a pocket wifi router for pick-up at Narita.
Made reservations for popular activities, namely the Ghibli Museum and USJ Express Pass.
Adjusted our bodies to the new timezone a few days before our flight using an app called Timeshifter.
Installed the Japan Travel by NAVITIME app, which I preferred over Google Maps when it came to anything involving the shinkansen.
Watched Perfect Days, a meditative film that follows a toilet cleaner in Tokyo. It got us even more excited for Japan, plus the washrooms featured in this film are real and inspired us to look out for them in real life!

Landing in Japan

After passing through customs, we picked up the pocket wifi router we had reserved. There are multiple drop-off locations, so you can pick up at one location and drop off at another. We chose the plan that gave us unlimited data for 3 weeks and it was worth it.
I wanted to get our IC cards, but the line at the JR ticket office was so long that we just opted to buy individual tickets to take the Keisei Access Express. If you are going to be staying near any major metro stations (Ueno, Tokyo, Shinjuku, a few others), you can go there for your tickets because the lines seem to be shorter and you’ll ideally be rested by then.
- I got my IC card at Ueno Station. On the ground floor, at the JR travel centre, you can line up for the Suica. However, I really wanted the cute Pasmo Passport instead. It took some asking around, but we eventually found the ticket office in the metro station, which is underground and had no line at all. We showed our passports and picked up our Pasmo cards without issue. It’s cash only.
I also purchased an eSIM from Airalo. It was my first time doing so and I found the process fairly straightforward. I only got 3 gigabytes of data, which was for situations where I might find myself separated from my partner (who held onto the pocket wifi). Ended the trip with over 1gb remaining.
On our first night, we wandered and found some restaurants in the alleyways behind our train station; we ate delicious ramen for around ¥800. It’s true what they say about your first night being a write-off, however, so don’t expect to do much else.

A note about the trains and ticketing system

I loved taking the shinkansen, they were so comfortable and predictable. The ticketing system, however... that’s a different story entirely. I think everyone just has to go through it like a rite of passage. I also couldn’t get SmartEx to work, which would’ve saved us a lot of hassle.
Regarding the JR West pass, I learned that you can’t make online seat reservations with it after you pick up the physical pass. You must use a specific machine or visit a ticket desk. To use the machines, find the ones with the green head boards and then select the option that mentions using a ‘discount ticket’ or something like that. Insert your pass and choose the destination and train you want to take. You’ll then get your pass back along with the printed tickets. Fortunately, there’s usually an attendant there to help you out.
I will miss having bento on the train while watching the scenery pass by (and listening to Fujii Kaze, haha).

March 26 - 28: A gentle introduction to Japan.

Places: Asakusa, Akihabara, Ueno, Ginza, and Chiyoda
Hotel: Route-Inn Grand Tokyo Asakusabashi
We chose this area because it was budget-friendly and gave us easy access to all the places we planned on visiting. A lot of people recommend staying in Asakusa, but we found Asakusabashi to be even quieter and cheaper.
Highlights:

Itoya Ginza is a stationary lover’s paradise. Each of the ten floors is immacuately curated, filled with beautiful things to look at and use. If that wasn’t enough, a nature-inspired soundtrack plays the entire time to really put you in the mood. I picked up a Shupatto bag and liked it so much (great design and durability) that I went back and bought a few more as gifts.
I found a place called the Okuno Building and it felt like a hidden gem for anyone who’s into art and architecture. Try to time your visit with when Room 306 is open: https://room306project.tokyo/about-en/
Stepping outside of Tokyo Station, you feel small and the grandeur of Tokyo really hits you. Across the station in the building with the Beams store, there’s an observation deck that offers a gorgeous nighttime view of the area. There’s also a food hall with a great energy and vibe.
About 10-15 minutes walk north of Akihabara station is an artisanal market tucked away beneath the train tracks. It was quiet and cute with a lot of interesting shops. Many handmade giftable items to be found: https://www.cntraveler.com/shops/tokyo/aki-oka-artisan
I had a reservation for the Final Fantasy Eorzea Cafe in Akihabara - it was something I had wanted to do for a long time, though it felt underwhelming in the end. The food and drinks were photogenic, but forgettable. There are a number of cafes like these around and I imagine the gimmick is similar in each (at least, the ones run by Pasela Resorts). Still, no regrets!

Notes:

Most of the hotels we stayed at did not allow use of stairs except in emergencies. This was usually fine, but during one busy morning rush we waited a ludicrously long time to get down from the 4th floor! We became acquainted with a charming Japanese woman as a result of waiting for the elevator, so there was a silver lining.

March 29 - April 3: Unforgettable memories made over a weekend.

Places: Shinjuku, Shibuya, teamLab, Kawaguchiko, and the wedding
Hotel: Yuen Shinjuku
Atmospheric hotel. Situated on a quiet street in Shinjuku while remaining within walking distance to all the fun places. Onsen on the top floor with amazing city views.
Highlight: The wedding

To prepare for the wedding, we had a fitting at a kimono rental shop (Vasara) along with some friends. The men in the group wore hakamas, which are like trousers reserved for very formal occasions. Wearing a kimono and hakama was interesting - there’s a lot of tucking and wrapping under those robes, forcing you to stand straight while also having your organs squeezed in. But damn did we feel and look good in them, haha.
The wedding itself was one of the most gorgeous and well-organized weddings I’ve ever been to and I’m still in a bit of awe. It began in the early morning with a Shinto ceremony at Meiji Jingu. The ritualistic garments worn by the bride and groom as well as the attendants were beautiful. After conducting the tea ceremony in a semi-private reception area, we gathered into a two-column procession and slowly walked to the main ceremonial site deeper within Meiji Jingu, led by a priest and two shrine maidens. Everything was solemn and immaculate. You can read about what these ceremonies are like online, but there were a lot of rituals, rules, and even audience participation e.g. standing, sitting, clapping, and drinking sake. Being photographed by hundreds of people while walking to and from the ceremonial site was also something I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience - I imagine this is what a celebrity feels like!
The reception afterwards was at Meiji Kinenkan and followed a more familiar Western reception format, with an MC, music, multi-course meal, and live performances (including mochi pounding and spectacular Japanese Bollywood dancers) - but no dancing for the participants, haha. There was also an after-party at an Indian restaurant in Shibuya and it was a much more casual and colourful affair.

Highlight: Nichome

Nichome - one could easily miss this entire neighbourhood during the day, but boy does it come alive at night. We visited most of the major bars: Eagle, Eagle Blue, Dragon Men, Arty Farty, etc. What immediately struck me about those places was how similar they felt to bars back home i.e Toronto. There were lots of foreigners and the vibe and music reminded me of our own bars. It’s still a fun time and you can meet other travellers if you put yourself out there.
When I said that one needs to dig deeper to find what makes Nichome stand out from other gaybourhoods, I was referring to the hundreds of tiny bars in the basements and upper levels of the buildings all around Nichome. To really get something out of this experience though, you need to either: i) speak Japanese, or ii) be accompanied by someone who can speak Japanese. I was lucky to fall into the latter group and had a few nights of uproarious karaoke, bantering with drag queens, and intimate conversations with bar staff.

Other highlights:

teamLab Planets was mind-blowing and I highly recommend anyone go at least once. The less you know about it, the better. The area around teamLab Planets (which includes the famous Toyosu Market) was also pleasant to walk around. In fact, we had a picnic by the water with a clear view of the Tokyo skyline.
I find malls in Asia to be on another level and the one we visited - Shibuya Parco - was no exception. There was a large terrace on the top floor with expansive views of the city and the basement housed an impressive food hall with a wide range of cuisines. The floors in-between had many unique offerings as well, even if only to window shop.
We found one of the washrooms from the film Perfect Days, the one in Nabeshima Shoto Park. The exterior was incredibly designed, though the interiors were just fine. The park also houses a tranquil pond that was nice for a stroll around and the neighbourhood itself was enjoyable to walk through.
Got my hair cut at a place called Assort Tokyo with English-speaking hair stylists - shout out to Yutsuki who gave me one of the best cuts I’ve ever had!
Karaoke Manekineko is prevalent in Japan and we had the fortune of going to one with our Japanese friends. It was fun, affordable, and equipped with all our favourite songs (both Japanese and English). Indulge in the bottomless drink machines - their corn soup is a best seller and after trying it myself, I can see why!
Seeing Mt. Fuji in person is an out-of-this-world experience - pictures don’t do it justice. However, the popular places we visited (Chureito Pagoda, northern shore of the lake) were extremely busy despite the lack of cherry blossoms e.g. the queue to access the observation deck at Chureito was 1 hour long. Getting around Kawaguchiko also wasn’t easy or cheap - the buses were packed and unpredictable and taking a taxi across town cost us a pretty penny. If I were to return, I’d get a private tour guide or just stick to the not-famous places and aim to be there in the early morning.

Notes:

We switched hotels from Asakusabashi to Shinjuku and it was worthwhile to do so. We valued being able to walk to and from the bars, especially at night after the trains close
I made the mistake of thinking we could get tickets on the express/direct train to Kawaguchiko the day before - nope. You should book these early. We took the shinkansen to Otsuki and then from there took a local train the rest of the way.

April 3 - 7: Embracing the calm after Tokyo.

Places: Hakone, Osaka, Himeji
Hotels: Mount View Hakone and Onyado Nono Osaka Yodoyabashi
The hotel in Hakone was itself the highlight. This one was a bit higher up in the mountains, but still easily accessible by bus. Top-notch hospitality and amenities. Our Osaka hotel was also comfortable and had an onsen and was located in a convenient area - not in the thick of things, but close to the important metro lines.
Highlights:

I wish we stayed longer at our Hakone ryokan. Their kaiseki dinner and breakfast were exquisite. The private onsen consisted of two large basins for our exclusive use with a view of an illuminated bamboo grove. That said, I think you could choose any 3+ star ryokan in Hakone and have a stellar time. The town was calm and charming; it was especially haunting with the light rain and mist when we were there.
We took a bus that went directly from our hotel all the way to Odawara, where we caught the shinkansen to Osaka. Unlike at home, where riding the bus feels like a chore, I felt that taking the various transport options in Japan was an experience unto itself - always something to see and admire outside the window.
Osaka’s nightlife was vibrant, though we preferred Shinsekai over Dotonbori if only because the former was way less crowded. I also went out to Doyamacho (Osaka’s gay district) on my own, which seemed tiny in comparison to Nichome. I visited the newly opened Eagle Osaka and met a Canadian expat; it was fun to hear stories about being gay in Japan from people who’ve lived there for a long time.
Sunset at Osaka Castle with all the sakura was magical. The crowds were minimal here. My favourite shot to take was a close-up of the flowers with the castle in the background.
My partner was very keen on visiting USJ and getting the Express Pass - I’m glad we did that because we got to experience (almost) everything we wanted to. Super Nintendo World was the absolute gem of USJ: going there felt like going to another dimension.
Right outside USJ is a large shopping and restaurant complex. There’s a place on the fourth floor called TAKOPA Takoyaki Park and what a joy it was - pick any of the restaurants here, order a combo meal, and let your taste buds soar.
Himeji is an easy day trip from Osaka and the famous castle is a straight walk down from the station. It was very picturesque - definitely visit the gardens while you’re there.

Notes:

My partner started to feel unwell at this point of the trip, so we had to slow down our pace and also reshuffle a few itinerary items.

April 7 - 10: Sakura, temples, and museums.

Places: Nara, Kyoto, Hiroshima
Hotel: TUNESTAY Kyoto
A modern hotel that also feels like a hostel with its communal amenities and young vibe. Rest assured, the rooms are private and include your own bathroom. Minutes away from Kyoto Station and situated on the same street as the sightseeing buses.
Highlights:

The sakura were now in full bloom and made for magnificent strolls around Kyoto’s famous districts, but like all other famous sites, they are best enjoyed early. We got up early for Philosopher’s Path and it was breathtaking and tranquil, just as we imagined it to be. It started to get crowded i.e noisier after 9am.
The 10th floor of the Isetan building at Kyoto Station is a dedicated food hall, with one side being just ramen shops. Very yummy and very short lines!
I read about how emotional the Hiroshima Peace Museum made people feel, but I still wasn’t prepared for the sheer gravity of it once we were there. I can only describe the experience as powerful and poignant. Certainly take your time to go through and read the cards on the exhibits. It was one of the rare places we visited that was both busy and quiet.
Visit Okonomi-mura for delicious Hiroshima-style okonomiyaki and good vibes. It’s another food hall, but one that feels much more down to earth and gritty.
We happened to stumble upon a night market at Murayama Park in Kyoto. The cherry blossoms were at their peak; they looked especially splendid under the glow of the lanterns. There were food stalls aplenty and we ate to our heart’s content: grilled fish, fried yam rolls, bamboo on a stick, and barbequed meats. Several restaurants and tables were set up in the middle of the park so you could sit down for a meal and some drinks while partaking in hanami. People were in very good spirits and we ended up chatting to a young couple sat next to us, where we bonded over our shared love for Howl’s Moving Castle and all things Ghibli. I’ll remember this particular night very fondly.

Notes:

It’s possible to visit Nara on route from Osaka to Kyoto or vice versa. That’s what we did and we just stored our luggage at the station in Nara.
It makes more sense to go to Hiroshima from Osaka - not only is it closer, but our JR West Pass did not include shinkansen travel between Osaka and Kyoto (even if we were riding on the same train going from Osaka to Hiroshima). We only did it this way because our original plans were changed due to my partner’s change in health status.

April 10 - 12: Winding down and enjoying small city life.

Places: Kanazawa, Shirakawa-go
Hotel: Hotel Kanazawa Zoushi
Our second favourite hotel of the trip. We had the warmest reception here, with complimentary tea and dango provided at check-in. The room was very comfortable, while the bathrooms were surprisingly spacious.
Highlights:

Everyone comes here for Kenrokuen and... yeah, it’s an absolutely stunning garden, dressed in wide swathes of pink thanks to the pretty cherry blossoms. Having said that, we noticed other areas of the garden weren’t as lively because the plants had not yet flowered. I think coming here when you know certain flora will be in season will make for a more memorable experience.
Right next to the gardens are the Kanazawa Castle Ruins, also home to some gorgeous blossom-lined paths. It was way less busy here, as if people didn’t realize they could walk another few minutes to this beautiful location.
On the surface, Higashi Chaya looked similar to the historic districts in Kyoto. We primarily went there for the Geisha Evenings in Kanazawa performance held at Kaikaro Tea House and it ended up being one of our favourite highlights of the entire trip. Lady Baba is a fabulous host and storyteller; the two hours we spent here flew by, filled with laughter, music, and cultural learnings.
Omicho Market feels a lot more like a real food market than Nishiki and smells like the sea. We enjoyed some huge oysters here and grilled scallop and octopus skewers.
We dined at Gen-zae-mon on the recommendation of a local who worked at Kaikaro. It’s a cozy izakaya in downtown Kanazawa serving plenty of scrumptious regional specialties. Try asking the service staff for their recommendations if you’re overwhelmed by the menu options.
Shirakawa-go was quaint, almost like being transported to a different era. The entire village is easily traversable by foot and it’s worthwhile to visit at least one of the historic houses that have been converted into a museum. If you can climb to the top of the observation deck, you’ll be rewarded with a serene lookout of the entire village. That said, I don’t think spring is the optimal season for Shirakawa-go to shine; I think any other season would colour it better, because it was still grey and barren when we went.

Notes:

I mistakenly thought we could get tickets for the highway express bus from Kanazawa to Shirakawa-go last minute... nope. Thankfully, our JR West pass let us ride the shinkansen at no additional cost to Toyama, where we caught the bus there - and that bus was mostly empty. It only added about 30 minutes more to our travel time.

April 12 - 13: One more outing in Tokyo’s most desirable neighbourhood.

Places: Kichijoji, Haneda
Hotel: Tokyu REI Kichijoji
Standard hotel with few frills, but great price and location. We chose it because it was a last minute decision to switch from Akihabara to Kichijoji for our last night.
Highlights:

I’m glad we stayed in Kichijoji for the last day of our visit. Walking the streets of this neighbourhood was exactly what we envisioned a peaceful Tokyo to be like and there was much to please the senses. It just felt like the whole package - picturesque, relaxed, easy to get lost in, and bustling to a degree that felt exciting without being overwhelming. The Internet claims that Kichijoji is the most desirable neighbourhood in Tokyo; I definitely believe that now.
Ghibli Museum was delightful and I’m a big fan of the “no indoor photography” rule. The attention to detail was incredible. Treat yourself to a walk in Inokashira Park before or after your visit. It was late afternoon when we went and the park was filled with young families and students playing after-school sports. It just felt like a pinnacle “slice of life” moment.
My very fashionable friend (the one who got married) said Kichijoji is her favourite place for consignment shopping and we saw plenty of those stores here. A bit deeper into the residential parts of Kichijoji is an artisanal market and cafe called Sippo: it was filled with one-of-a-kind goods at reasonable prices and everything was made in Japan. I know there are a lot of great shops in Tokyo, but this one stood out to us and we would certainly return on future trips.
We hopped on an airport shuttle bus from Kichijoji Station to Haneda. No reservations, but the bus was only a quarter full. We gave ourselves three hours at Haneda and still felt like we ran out of time - lots of great shops for last minute gifts (including an Itoya outpost!) Take note that the higher rated restaurants are located outside of the security gates.

Now that some time has passed since departing Japan, the emotions that swept over me in that country have left a deep impression. Like a reminder of what I’m chasing after in this life, Japan excited me, fulfilled me, and left me wanting more. I know that being Japanese in Japan is an entirely different experience, but I still yearn to experience even just a sliver of that life.
Thanks for reading and I hope you got something out of this trip report. If you’re interested in seeing some of the photos I took on this trip, I’ve shared them on my Instagram account, which is the same handle as my Reddit username.

Alright, I’m really considering the AMEX gold card.
The only thing justifying the $250 annual fee for me is the $20 back a month in statement credits, Which is basically like just paying for those meals at the beginning of the year if you think about it.
Any cashback redemption is pretty low at 0.6/0.7. The only reasonable redemption value for points seems to be with gift cards or travel, I don’t travel that much at the moment so gift cards would be the only redemption I’d do to get 1 cent per point. Any suggestion?
I heard the monthly offers are pretty good, like (10% back at “restaurant”). What good monthly discount promotions do they offer?
I spend the most on my chase freedom unlimited and Apple card, I would only put a little less than a thousand a month on it.
Is it worth it, especially since I don’t travel that much? - (though, I want a travel card in the future and it couldn’t hurt to stack points until I’m making larger trips frequently) - !!!
Lastly, to my knowledge purchasing through any bank travel portal is usually twice as expensive as somewhere else online. Making the high cash back or point redemption not worth it. Is that the case?

I've been sitting in the wings reading everyone's posts and all of the comments for quite some time, but I'm finally pulling the trigger. I know Reddit isn't the place to put everything on the table, but in this group, more often than not, there is such great feedback. Sorry in advance for the length of this post.
I've been with my husband 17 years, married for 9. In the beginning, we met at a bar (I was bartending and going to school). We would always see each other out and about, and suddenly, we found ourselves together. We would go out a lot and drink heavily, both of us. He had a great job (there 25 years) and I was out of school and working. I also picked up a side job because I loved the company, and it was only 10 hours a week. But that didn't stop us from going out.
Fast forward to 2013, and I suffer a significant injury that's permanent. I'm relinquished to doctors and put on pain management. I decided to stop drinking because it was too much with the medication. I didn't ask him to stop drinking. He wasn't the one on medication. But he would work all week and come Friday, he would start drinking. We are talking black out drunk, but the excuse was always "its my weekend." And he would throw the medication in my face. Medication that I truly needed to comfortably function.
Fast forward to Covid. Hos job with a state entity required him to go into the middle of everything. I know he's seen things that have stuck with him, and it was difficult. When everything shut down, I was laid off along with 120 others. I had a severence package, unemployment, and this was the time the government was handing out money hand over fist. So financially, not much changed, and I started an online business selling high-end beauty items. The insurance through his employer was incredible, so I could still keep all of my doctor appointments and refills at a low cost. And for him, the weekend warrior continued. But I admit, I became depressed and would sleep all day. I loved working, and not having a job made me feel worthless, even though there was no struggle financially. But I started shopping to feed my online business, which was doing great, and his weekend drinking continued. The only thing that changed was that he was becoming mean. He would say things and if I got upset I was told it was a joke, that I was overreacting, or that if I didn't say "x" he would not have said "y". From there, it would either escalate or he would forget the entire interaction and would grope me and try to have sex. There's nothing like a stumbling man reading of booze trying to manhandled you. I just started saying no. Within this time, he was in a car accident. He was going to therapy and eventually had surgery. He took 1 pain pill and threw the rest away (he is only a drinker - won't even take asprin)
In 2021, I went back to work. He didn't want me to work while covid was active because of what he was seeing and dealing with, but I went out and found a job in less than 24 hours of looking. So off I went and I am a 50-60 hour a week worker, it's my happy place. But I found myself getting sicker as the week went on because I knew that on Friday, he would be drinking. In 2023, I found a new job 5 miles from home, and I love it. My car is a beater (he's driving an amazing car), but those types of things aren't important. My online business went by the wayside because I was so busy with work and taking care of a dog with special needs due to arthritis, but I was still shopping because honestly, it made me feel better. I say this because I don't want to give the impression that I'm perfect here. I have FILLED the house with "things" and used to post them on the weekends, but he became so exhausting, loud, mean, intrusive, etc. that I just wanted to stay in the room.
In early 2023, I got a call from the pharmacist asking for our new insurance card. I was confused as we just got the new cards in January, and nothing had changed. Told her I would find out what was going on and asked how much this particular prescription was. My co-pay was $30 with insurance, and I had to take it - it wasn't something you could just stop- so I figured I would just pick it up. She told me it was $2,500.00 per month. I almost died. I made some calls and found out that our insurance had just been canceled. I Google to see the employer website, and his name was no longer listed. I then called the office asking like a random person, and when I asked for him, I was told he no longer worked there, and he left about a month ago. Needless to say, I was exosive with anger. When I got home and confronted him, he was so casual and simply said, "I told you I wasn't happy there. We will be fine. " You want to trust your partner so we agreed to discuss it later (he was in the process of getting a new job- a lateral move closer to home and I think he was just assuming that this was in the bag).
For the past year, he has been sleeping when I leave and sleeping when I come home. We have separate rooms because I need the whole bed to be comfortable - it has been like this for a long time, and it's not an issue. He had money stockpiled (we have separate accounts), and I know he can float on that. But it's now been a year, his weekend drinking has gotten worse, and he becomes mean. He says horrible things. He goes out to the bar that he promised he wouldn't, and stays until they close and sometimes goes to after parties. He's not cheating, alcohol is his true mistress, but it floods over to Sunday, when I'm getting woken up at 4am because he forgot keys - then I just stay up and go to work.
Everything is progressively getting worse with the amount, the length of time, and the arguing. He sleeps all day Monday through Thursday. If I try to talk to him during the week, I'm bothering him, interrupting a baseball game, or just nagging. He is literally doing nothing around the house. And he gets up around 7 pm, I eat alone, and he will start making himself dinner (not throwing leftovers in the microwave, literally cooking a full meal) the minute I go to sleep. I still take care of half the bills, the grocery runs, liquor runs (I know, I know, I do it because I don't want him driving and if he goes to "run to the store" he doesn't come home). He always wants me to take him somewhere - because he has had too much to drink to drive. So he sleeps all day during the week, starts drinking on Friday, and doesn't sleep, I find him passed out, or he's just up drinking from the night before. The verbal fights have become horrendous. I'm in pain due to a lack of sleep. Because of the health insurance policy I can afford, I'm paying $200 for prescriptions a month, and my doctor appointments are roughy $380 every 4 months. He's living off a settlement, he's not looking for a job, and I hate weekends. He complains he can't do anything around the house because my "stuff" is in the way. While true, anyone can move a box to do something. Plus, there is a laundry list of things that can be done other than the things he is saying he can't do because it's my fault. And now today, he tried to make me wake up at 6am but I had only had a few hours of sleep (I stay up with him until the bars close, if not, he will leave as soon as I go to sleep). Im just trying to keep him safe and keep him from driving. It's gotten to the point that I don't care. I'd rather him leave and walk to the bar and stay there until 4 am. just so I have some peace. He just texted me from the beach - I got up when I heard him leave - but... he took my car. I know he shouldn't be driving, hell, I don't even know when he will be home. But I have to work tomorrow and if he doesn't come home, I don't have a car - and he took his keys. His "drinking buddies" would love if he was single because, well, he is fun. These are the same people who are single, unemployed, and hit on me the minute he turns his back.
When he is sober, he is truly my best friend, the guy I married, but this other person he's become is someone I deal with 50% of the time. There is no more sex. He looks exhausted, while I'm taking care of myself and get constant attention from other men (not that this should matter but he gets angry), and now he wants me to start giving him $1,500 a month toward the credit cards (because he let me get some things) and and 2 other bills that went up. Please understand that this is hard to put out there to strangers. I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think that I can leave and do this on my own. I have so much stuff to sell (I've even proposed him opening an account and selling items because he could make at least $20k by the end if the year, which would help clear out the house and provide extra income- he agreed weeks ago but hasn't done it). I also feel that if I left that he would further spirial downward, and I can't imagine what would happen to him. But at this point, we are barely co-existing. I have an extremely stressful job that I love, but I no longer have a peaceful home. I sit in the driveway and cry on Fridays before I come into the house because I have no idea what I'm waking into. My boss has noticed that I'm not the same on Mondays, and my daily pain level is elevated. I know the responses are going to be about boundaries and leaving and all that stuff, so again, I wanted to give as much info as possible. I truly would like some suggestions on what I should do. Also, I'm a very attractive 48 year old and he is 51, who is looking tired and haggard - which I could care less because I still see my handsome bestie. No kids (sadly, I didn't want any for this reason). Thank you if you have read through this novel. And please, be kind.

So I posted here a few days ago about asking if I was allowed to post and everyone wanted to hear my story so here goes.
I've always been a little heftier than my siblings. I got my mother's build while my sisters got my father's. Up until after high school it wasn't really a problem but then I had kids and gained more weight. I tried dieting, pills, major exercise, etc. and nothing really worked. My mindset wasn't that great either because I was forced to take diet pills and do programs like Optifast when I was 16 (my mother) and I was feeling defeated. Anyway, I was 432 lbs and finally decided to do something. My neighbor had gone through the Texas Rehabilitation Services for her surgery so I decided to to see if it was something I could do. It was, and I did and I was lucky enough to have Dr. Adam Naaman as my surgeon.
I went through the usual emotions, being scared, excited and overall nervous. Things turned out fine though. I was very strict with my diet, stuck to the prescribed one faithfully, drank my water and protein shakes, exercised and started losing weight immediately. Within a year, I had lost 80 lbs and was continuing to lose weight. By two years out, I had gotten down to 175 and looked (according to my friends and family) anorexic. But I felt good which was the most important. Losing 257 (apporx.) lbs wasn't easy but I loved it. I loved the freedom of movement, the energy, the ability to buy clothes from normal stores lol. It was great. There were some downsides though. A major one is that I've gained about 100 lbs back - but have never gone over.
I'm going to do the rest of this as a bullet list because it's the easiest.
Pros:

The weight lost
Buying clothes at "normal" shops
Feeling better about myself
Energy level
Amusement parks (I love roller coasters!)
spending more time with my kids

Cons:

dumping syndrome - this can get really bad. Be very careful with what you eat!
Not having real food - you really have to change your mindset because the first six months is truly the most difficult.
Having to eat very small bites - if you don't you WILL throw up. Fortunately, it tastes the same coming up as it does going down.
Temptation - it is very real. Cookies are my downfall
Weight gain - it doesn't always stay off - be vigilant!
Anemia - I've had 4 blood transfusions due to this. Take your iron!
H. Pylori - it's a real issue and I had a bleeding ulcer because of it.

Warnings:

STAY AWAY FROM NSAIDS! Do not do not do not take these. They contribute to ulcers and anemia.
Stick to the diet the doctor gives you for best results.
Go to counseling or weight loss groups to discuss your issues. Everyone has issues with food. You need to reset your brain and this is a great way to do so.

20 years later, I still have to watch what I eat and be careful with bite sizes. I still throw up about three times per week even from just swallowing pills. I don't have to worry about portion sizes because I still can't eat a lot so it's not too much of a problem. I can eat what I want - which causes part of the problem in that I can still eat desserts and thing, just not as much, and those sometimes still cause dumping.
And now, I get to reset. I haven't ever done this before but went to a surgeon because I was worked about having to do a revision and he said that this was the best path. So Monday, I am going to start drinking protein shakes and eating 1 small meal a day. Doing this at work should be fun. My students will think I'm odd but I'm going to do it.
Ask me any questions you want, I'll try to answer!

I recently had a serious leg surgery. In fact, this is my 7th leg surgery on this leg in 7 years. My partner and I have been together for 3 years, living together for 1.5 years. We have a dog, too. Last surgery, a huge issue was that I felt totally neglected. She didnt cook any meals, our dog wasn't walked, and she really didn't spend anytime with me while I was couch locked for almost two months.
This time around is basically the same. She meal prepped the first week, but in the last 10 days, I have ordered food about eight times. Our dog hasn't been walked for about two weeks. I feel totally uncared for, and I feel bad for our German Shepherd (she's really mine, but I feel like its been long enough where we can both sort of call her our dog.) Plus she claims to love our dog, too. They have a great bond. I am starting to resent my partner, I feel totally unloved, and I think I will break up with her.
Before anybody asks, yes, I have communicated this with her. Especially after the last operation. This isn't new. Her neglect isn't new. All of this is not new. We even started couples counseling, and I have been in therapy for three years. A stipulation in our relationship was that she begin therapy, or I am done. She has yet to begin therapy, so I am done. I let it slide for too long.
tldr: had leg surgery, girlfriend isn't being much help, haven't had a decent meal and dog hasn't been walked in two weeks. She comes home from work at 4, doesn't do anything to help me out and is usually negative. Feeling really neglected and unloved.

Hello Charlotte!
I am beyond excited to have a story for you to share! While on the daily, I am not a petty person... I can become extremely well versed in the **Art of Pettiness.**
To give context, let me time bring you back to 2019.
I (F 26) got married to my now Ex-Husband (M 26 Let's call him... Jim) at the end of 2019 and moved into our own place a week after. At the wedding, Jim's Best Man (M 28) who I am going to refer to as Kyle, had brought his girlfriend (F 24 She is going to be called Sam) as his +1. Sam was VISIBLY uncomfortable that night and essentially left after she finished her meal. I was concerned about her because I wanted to make sure that she was okay but obviously I was a liiiiittle busy that night. The reason this is important is because we had NEVER spoken to each other before then. Fast forward a few weeks and Sam and I kept talking to our S.O.'s about wanting to talk to each other so they finally got us together to talk.
From the first time we spent time together, we were inseparable. At the time, I felt as though she and I were puzzle pieces that were a perfect match for best friends. When COVID hit, we knew that we couldn't see each other for a while, so we agreed to hang out virtually playing some video games that we both liked. We spent COUNTLESS hours just talking on the phone telling each other about our days and the tea that we had from our jobs. Over time, I loved her as if she were my sister and she had said she felt the same. I was overjoyed to have someone that I could have inside jokes and funny little secrets with. We were thick as thieves and we did damn near everything together and for a while, everything was perfect.
A couple of years back, Sam's father passed away and she shattered. She was so upset and depressed (rightfully so) all the time and I was concerned for her mental health. I took it upon myself to help her in any way I could. I let her know that if she needed anything, even just another body in her home, I was available. She thanked me and called upon me often to help her process her grief. I was more than happy to push my interests to the side and focus on my best friend to make sure she was okay. After a while, she was back to her old self with one difference, she would constantly complain about every single person around her. It didn't matter if you were her sister or a random stranger, If she had something negative to say about you, she said it. I should mention that she has a silver tongue and knows exactly what to say and how to say it so that you take her side. It doesn't matter if she is wrong or not, she would coerce you to side with her.
I was nothing but nice with her and I went out of my way to make sure that she was happy throughout our entire friendship. However, when I feel I have been deceived or used, I can become one of the PETTIEST people that you have ever known.
Last year, there was a very large disagreement that ended with people not talking to each other and Sam pretending I didn't exist. I had made a few choices in my life to help me feel better about myself and my self-image that I knew would have a small impact on those who interact with me and I wanted to inform my so-called friends. Not only did these choices get seen as incorrect or unnecessary (ie. "Do you need that? I think you are better this way.") by my friends, but Sam just pretended I never said anything to them and ignored my attempts to talk to my best friend about the stress I was under. I felt so defeated. Why would the one person that I felt I could trust deeply enough not be able to provide some sliver of empathy for me?
For three months, I didn't speak to anyone but myself and my cats. Around the beginning of this time, I asked Sam for the key back to my house. She agreed to return it and asked for a few of her things back as well. I agreed and began pulling all of these items together.
This is where the pettiness comes into play.
I found out from another coworker that Sam had been talking to people about me in such a negative light, that there were people that thought I was the devil herself. She had assumed that I had been doing the same to her and wanted to get ahead of it.
Fun Fact: I did nothing of the sort.
I felt devastated that someone who was the closest to me would believe that I would be that awful to someone. She thought I was being mean? Oh, baby girl, you have not seen anything yet. While I did gather all of the items she asked for, I also scoured my entire house for every single gift or purchase that she had ever made for me. There were items like stuffed animals, backpacks, purses, makeup, jewelry, and random cards that she gave me for special holidays or birthdays. I had gone all the way down to pulling the cute protective rubber covers I had for the controllers I used for my consoles. I made sure to grab damn near every single item. I asked that Jim bring them back to her so there was no chance of an interaction with her regarding this. He looked at the items and didn't think twice about them. Jim was not the brightest crayon in the box and admitted that he assumed that she wanted all of those items back. I knew damn well what I was doing and to be fully honest, I am very satisfied with it. Jim had to make FOUR trips from his car to her front door to drop all of the items off.
Just recently I learned that she had been watching from her doorbell camera and had been RAGING during the drop-off. Her boyfriend Kyle had to convince her not to go out and scream at Jim. Do I regret returning all of the items? No. Am I sliiiightly satisfied that she understood what I did? Absolutely.

Needless to say, Sam and I do not talk anymore and I think that has been the best change in my life since the entire issue started.

Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you deem this story as acceptably petty.

I have until now found it reprehensible that my glorious fellow countryman, Cecil George Edwards, otherwise known as the Democracy Manifest guy, has not found his way into Skyrim.
Now that has all changed with the release of Manifest Mudcrabs. Now you can have your succulent Chinese meals and limp penises and eat them too. Err, the Chinese meals I mean.
May Cecil live as a guiding beacon as to how we should all behave should we ever find ourselves getting arrested for credit card fraud.
Ta Ta and Farewell.
https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/79986