Finally met up with my Tinder crush, and we ended up going to a bar. It was busier than usual, and I thought it’d affect the night. But everything was smooth, and I was happy he looked just as attractive in person.
But this moment stood out to me:
When it was time to go, he asked for the check. I didn’t reach for my wallet; I never do. But I don’t mind splitting. And before yall get onto me about not reaching for my wallet, why would I intentionally create an awkward moment? If asked, I oblige. I think that’s the way to go. As a sub bottom at least 🙃😂 jk, not really.
Anyway, my date would pull out his card and tap the machine. But then when it came time to tip, he gave the machine to me and confessed that I should do this part because he was unsure what to tip and that he’s “never good at calculating this type of thing.”
I was confused for half a second, but the other part of me was impressed that he let me choose the tip; I chose 20%, raising the bill by $20. We had 3 drinks, two for ourselves, and one shared— although he got the third for me because I said it looked cool. Not that I wanted him to get it for me, I hadn’t finished my first drink. Still, the gesture was nice.
He didn’t say anything about the final total, just passed the machine back to the waiter.
I don’t know why, but that moment really turned me on lol
He’s Caribbean, and very smart. But he seems to have that “this isn’t a man’s job” attitude about him, especially when handing over the machine. I’m sure society will tell me not to like this, but I didn’t mind.
It reminds me of my parents. My dad would pay, but he didn’t care about the details. It wasn’t his “job,” rather it was my mom’s job to make sure that we left the store with everything we needed.
Anyway, we kissed (his lips were so soft), and then parted ways. Definitely seeing him again, and he’s been (reasonably) blowing up my phone since we left each other.
I don’t want to get too excited though. Let’s see how this plays out.

This is my first time posting on this sub so if I make any mistakes let me know for next time and I'll try to be better.
I'll try to be concise: basically, me (21f) and my boyfriend (25m) have been dating for a long time, 4 years, and our relationship is perfect. We are so kind to one another, our hobbies and morals align, we can be with eachother 24/7 and never fight and never get bored. We love eachother endlessly, our codependency doesn't usually present any issues until we separate. When we are apart, we both have very bad anxiety and depression, as for myself I feel empty and alone and I find myself not showering and not eating, or eating too much, and he's expressed to me the same thing but with added stress because his adhd (we both have it) isn't being medically treated whereas I take meds for both anxiety and depression. I realize this wasn't concise but basically: any advice to help cope with separation?
Tdlr; me (21f) and my (24m) boyfriend feel depressed when we're apart, any advice to Soothe the feeling?

I am planning on post a google review on my LBS which I have had a bad experience at. Intent isn’t to scold them but to make a public review so others know about my experience and have more information when choosing this LBS over others. However I want to make sure I am not overreacting - perhaps all this is “normal” for a LBS nowadays.
TLDR:
First experience: Had bike fit - seemed to be ok/no issues with this experience. They needed to cut/rebleed new brake line and brake line was not run under handlebar groove to keep flush when I picked it up so had to undo/redo myself
Second experience: Needed seat post clamp and they charged me $20 for a $13 clamp. Also had them take a look at shifting and got charged $30 for hanger alignment and after rinding one block I knew this didn’t solve issue so turned around. They talked to me like I probably had no idea what was going on (explained what a hanger was to me, indexing, etc) and told me to call back and schedule an appt since they were closing for the day.
Longer Version: Bit of background on the shop - they mainly do bike fits but do offer service as well. There main business is getting you in for a bike fit and then helping you order a custom geo bike. I decided to go here for a bike fit last year.
First experience: Bike fit seemed fine (never had one before so can’t compare). It was very basic and took 20min with some measurements but I did feel a lot better. The guy seemed nice / knowledgeable enough. I did decide to swap handlebars for larger size and wanted to upgrade to carbon so we picked one out. The brake line was too short so it needed a new one and re-bleed. I have done this myself but decided to just let them do it as they said it would be done next day. Come back and pick it up and bring it home and notice they didn’t put the brake line into one of the grooves under the handlebar which keeps the line flush with the bar. Just felt a bit messy so I had to undo and redo tape myself. Total for this was $150 bike fit, $350 bar (Enve), and $40 for bleed. I would say 4/5 star as fit was good but the tape job was below average given they missed the flush brake line.
Second experience: Seatpost clamp broke so I go to my local Specialized shop and try to get a new one. The service guy there moves mountains trying to look for an old clamp to give me to get me home but just can’t find it so calls on a local shop to see if they have it. They do. It’s the same shop I went to get my bike fit at. So I head there and the guy says yes we have the clamp and ask if I know my saddle height. I say yes because you gave me a bike fit! He says something like “oh great you don’t need to go to Specialized then you can just come here”. So I am thinking sweet this dude is just going to give me clamp for free. Anyway he finds a clamp, puts it on, and I am saying thank you and he tells me I can take it for a spin to make sure it holds. Before that he also just goes that will be $20. And I honestly think he is joking but go oh ok let me take it for a spin quick and make sure its holding and then I will come back and he goes “why don’t you pay first”. Whatever, so I pay $20, take a lap and it is indeed holding so it’s fine. [I go home and look up this seatpost and it’s a generic Orbea one that is $13 on multiple websites….] Well my shifting was a bit funky all day too and I am taking a three day trip tmrw so I figure what the heck I will have them look at it. So I come back to the shop say clamp is working fine but wondering if you can take a look at my shifting - I can’t seem to dial it in. Now I have been riding bikes for over a decade and been wrenching my own for a lot of that. I know my way around a bike and certainly all the basics - indexing, RD adj, hanger alignment, etc. For whatever reason I could not dial in my old 105 shifting and wanted to see if they could help. So they put it in the stand and tell me my hanger is slightly bent. Then they start explaining to me what a hanger is….and honestly start to mansplain me (I am a male fwiw). I think they were just trying to be nice but not sure if it was old aluminum bike, the stickers on it, or the T shirt I was wearing but they definitely thought I didn’t know anything about bikes which is very frustrating. So they “fix” the hanger and its takes no more than 2min and I am ready to walk out the door and he goes “That will be $30”. Seemed pretty steep but w/e. I pay and start going back. I make it a block and the shifting might actually be worse lol so I immediately turn back around and say yea that didn’t fix anything and they put it in the stand again and then start teaching me about indexing……I am pretty fed up at this point and they try to tweak a few things, oil the chain (which pissed me off cuz I waxed it…), and then say its shifting ok in stand so if its still an issue schedule an appt for next week and we can do a deeper dive. Honestly thought they were going to charge me again…..but they let me walk out this time.
Did all this feel reasonable? The botched tape job, charging $20 for a $13 seat post clamp, and $30 for a quick hanger alignment that did not fix the issue? I was a bit bummed by the amount of money I have spent here and they were not willing to help me out. Seemed they were more interested in the transaction than relationship. Would I be overreacting by writing a say 3 star google review on this? Idk the whole situation was very off putting but don’t want to call out a local business if all this seemed reasonable.

First, we all acknowledge the obvious: last night sucked. It hurt not only to lose but to lose in the way they did. And most of us here are very invested sports fans, which by definition usually means we're prone to overreact just a smidge. But reading this sub the last 12 hours some of y'all need to step back and chill. Remember a few things.

1. We're tied 2-2 against the #1 seed. That's hard to do! Y'all sitting here acting like the series is over. Like a brigade of Stephen A. Smiths after two Redbulls. JFC.
   
2. Our franchise player Is. Not. Healthy. By a country mile. On top of finishing an 82-game season at the highest level of his craft, dude has to put up with a bad knee and ankle, to say nothing of the various bumps and bruises he's sustained through this series. Let's see you try to bulldoze Dort for a week and see how you feel.
   

3..Luka is still playing through it! Do you realize what this says about his commitment? We could have any of a dozen superstars in this league who show up in street clothes after the slightest bruise, but this kid is fighting his ass off. The Mavs are so lucky to have him and it's a privilege to watch the guy, not just for his skills but for his attitude and sportsmanship and commitment to his team (even if he does whine a bit much). So much has to go right (including health) to win a championship. And Luka is 25. What the hell were y'all doing at his age? The "Luka fat/sucks" shit I see here.is.infuriating above all. Guy had some bad games. He's hurt. It happens. Tough shit. He's trying and he hasn't quit on his team.

1. Nobody expected us to get this far. We were dead in the water at the ASB heading for the lottery. But we have an excellent GM who nabbed TWO franchise contributors for essentially a bag of Skittles and half a Starbucks gift card. Nico is a top-5 GM in this league. It sucks rooting for a team with an inept front office. Hell, we could be the Hornets or Wizards right now.
   
2. If the season ended today, the Mavs have proven they belong if nothing else. They are elite. They're competitive. They CAN win it all. We have likable (and good) players. This is a team worth investing time and energy into. That wasn't always the case.
   

Maybe it's just because I remember the shit teams from the Reunion Arena days, but there are so many terrific things about the Mavs now, and I for one am glad to see we have a team that is set up to be competitive and has a good shot at winning it all over the next five years if not this year. And hey! It's a best of 3 series now anyway, so we're still very much alive!
Don't get me wrong, this morning sucks. But holy hell, some of y'all need to touch some figurative grass. Damn.

Selected Verses from The Atthakavagga - Gautama Buddha
Below, I will present to you selected verses from The Atthakavagga, the book of eights, among the first historical written teachings of Gautama Buddha.
Suddhatthaka Sutta
“No true Sage speaks of purity in terms of something other. Or in terms of virtue, religious observances, or what is seen, heard or thought out. Merit and evil do not adhere to someone who has left behind what’s grasped, who doesn’t make up anything here…
True sages who’ve crossed the boundaries, wouldn’t grasp anything they can know or see in the world. Neither passionate for passion nor obsessed by dispassion. There is nothing here to grasp as superior”
Paramatthaka Sutta
“Letting go of what is taken up, the person free of grasping doesn’t depend on knowledge, or take sides when factions disagree, or fall back on any kind of view. One not inclined to either side, to becoming or nonbecoming, to here or the next world, there exists nothing to get entrenched in when considering the doctrines others grasp. Here, one does not conceive the slightest concept in regard to what is seen, heard or thought. How, in this world, could one categorize the sage who does not take hold of views. One does not construct, prefer or take up any doctrine. A true sage not led by precepts or religious practices, who has gone beyond, does not fall back on belief, is one who is thus.”
Jara Sutta
“Independent everywhere, sages make nothing cherished or not cherished. Despair and selfishness don’t stick to them as water doesn’t stick to a leaf. As a drop doesn’t stick to a leaf or water to a lotus petal, so what is seen, heard or thought doesn’t stick to a sage. By being without passion and dispassion, those who are cleansed don’t ruminate about what is seen, heard or thought out, nor do they wish for purity through anything else.”
Magandiya Sutta
“Whatever one should live detached from, the mighty one neither grasps nor disputes. Just as a lotus grows in water unsullied by water and mud, so a sage without greed, who advocates peace, is unsullied by sensuality and the world. Those who know don’t become proud in regard to views or what is thought out. They are not influenced by action or by learning; they don’t end up entrenched. Someone freed from concepts has no ties, someone freed by wisdom has no delusions. Those who grasp at concepts and views clash as they walk through the world.”
Kalahavivada Sutta
“Appearances disappear when not conceiving concepts, not conceiving false concepts, not nonconceiving, and not conceiving disappearance. This is because conceiving is the basis of conceptual differentiation.”
Tuvataka Sutta
“Let them completely destroy the root of conceptual differentiation. That is, the idea ‘I am the thinker’… They shouldn’t get entrenched in any teachings they know, whether their own or that of others. Good people say that being entrenched is not release. They would not, because of this, think themselves better, worse, or equal to others. Experiencing many things, they don’t take a stand in thoughts of themselves.”

I've been lurking here for a week or two (led by the algorithm, and it wasn't wrong) and one thing I see a lot is Ruined Life framing around problems. I know this framing well and in my darkest moments I apply it too.
I can't tell what you're thinking, but what I'm thinking when I say this is, "There are a ton of things wrong and I don't even know how to begin fixing them!" I'm framing my life as if it's one giant terrifying problem, instead of what's actually a bunch of small and medium sized problems that make each other more daunting.
So here's the suggestion: Write out the reasons your life is ruined.
Now you've made the problem countable and measurable. Now it isn't a tower of infinite suffering that stretches beyond your view, it's a dozen (or however many) things, each with their own scope.
Then circle the following four problems:

• The two you feel most capable of working on.
• The one that will have the biggest consequences if ignored.
• The one that will have the soonest consequences if ignored.

Resolve yourself to tread water regarding the other problems while you work on those four, unless circumstances force you to reprioritize.
What this reframing allows you to do is have wins along the way. You don't have to unruin your whole life before you can celebrate and gain confidence. You can celebrate that you finally got the house cleaning under control, or paid off that credit card debt, or lost enough weight to fit into those too-tight pants.
And if the wins still feel like they're coming too slowly to give you hope to push on, you can break problems into sub-problems so that each step is more attainable. If you're at rock bottom, don't clean the whole room. Just take out the trash, and call it a win. Tomorrow, fold the laundry, and call it a win. The day after, open the backed up mail, and so on. Lift the burden you can bear, however small.
And maybe a year from now, you're a person with eight problems and four solutions instead of twelve problems, but you'll have proven to yourself that you can improve your life.
Wishing you all the best as we work on our respective troubles.

Mattana Ministry Welcomes You To: Weekly Bible Study: 14 May 2024 Theme: Bible Basics Explained/Faith Scripture: Heb. 10:35-39 & Heb. 11:1-2 Message: God Exists
Faith may seem a small thing, but it can lead people to some extraordinary actions. Consider this story from Romania. The year was 1989, and the Communist government ruled. The Communism that ruled much of Eastern Europe in the 20th century was built on atheistic ideology and philosophy. Though the government allowed church, it kept a tight grip, and often jailed and tortured pastors and believers who defied their rule.
In the town of Timisoara, a local pastor named Tokes, who was teaching the Bible faithfully, was commanded to leave his home and church because he had criticized the government for human rights violations. On the day the police were to evict their pastor, local Christians surrounded the home to stop them. A crowd grew quickly, and the army was called in to stop them. Shots fired. Many wounded, many killed. But then something incredible occurred. The people didn’t fight back. Instead they knelt and prayed. Can we picture that? Prayer against bullets.
Yet the sight was too much for the soldiers. They refused to shoot any more. By this time, the whole town was there. Another pastor named Dugulescu climbed to the balcony of the local opera house and addressed the crowd. He recited something, only a few lines, and two simple words struck deep in the hearts of the people. They began chanting. Then shouting. Two words in defiance of oppression. Two words that cried out for freedom, equality, and dignity. Again and again, they shouted in unison: God exists.
We’ll come back to that story. For now, those same two words are at the very heart of this little thing called faith. So what is faith? Is it just another word for belief? I believe in God - so that’s faith. Right? Well, James reminds us that demons believe in God, and they tremble over that belief. So faith is more than that.
So what is it then? Is it an action of the heart or a conviction of the mind? Or maybe it’s just a feeling in our gut of what we know is true.
To find some answers, we’re turning to the book of Hebrews, and a chapter known as the Hall of Faith. Hebrews 11. The chapter reads like an Old Testament hall of heroes. It’s a highlight reel from every prophet and warrior who ever made it onto a Sunday School flannel board. If we grew up with Bible heroes, we’ll recognize these names. And even if we missed out on all that, there’s something about these heroes - something they all have in common. Many epic stories, countless grand adventures, one shared attribute. And it’s not just courage, or compassion, or integrity. All of those are beautiful and necessary. But this one, this one changes them all. Faith transforms all of our virtues because it gives them direction and purpose. It points everything about us back to God.
So what is faith? Hebrews 11 verse 1:
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). Faith is confidence. The Greek word here can also be translated substance. Faith gives substance to the things that we hope for. Hope is about the future anticipation of good things coming. But hope alone is ephemeral a dream with nothing tangible to grab hold of. It takes faith to give hope substance, and confidently grab ahold of it here in the present. And back in verse 1, faith is also assurance about what we do not see.
Now not seen is not the same as not real. The Greek words here carry a sense that means not yet seen. Just because we don’t see it yet doesn’t mean it isn’t real. That’s where hope comes in. Hebrews 6 calls hope an “anchor for our souls.” It keeps us grounded, stops us from drifting.
See hope without faith is just wishful thinking. Like a lottery ticket - I hope this one changes my life, but it probably won’t. But hope with faith is like a bus ticket. Sure, the road might be rough and my fellow passengers can occasionally get on my nerves, but my ticket says home, and I know that my bus driver will get me there.
And verse 2 tells us:
“This is what the ancients were commended for” (Hebrews 11:2). The ancients here refer to Old Testament heroes, and the rest of the chapter reminds us of their stories. Fantastic stories. But they’re not just here to tell a good story. This chapter was written to encourage us. Chapter 10 ended with a powerful call to stand strong to persevere in the face of trial. Back in 10:35,
“Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised”(Hebrews 10:35b-36). And chapter 10 ends with one essential Old Testament quote from Habakkuk:
“The righteous shall live by faith” (Hebrews 10:38). Remember, righteous means right with God. And in the Bible it’s the only way to Heaven. And Hebrews reminds us that when we’re right with God, faith is how we live. That short verse is quoted throughout the New Testament.
MM
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https://www.soulcenters.org/directory/mattana-ministry/#listing-reviews

Hey there, I’m Brad Smith, owner of AutomationLinks. Over the last eight years, I’ve been helping folks grow their brands, and here’s a crazy little secret I stumbled upon: My YouTube channel’s growth spurt was actually powered by Google searches, not direct YouTube hits. It turns out, Google loves to push YouTube content up in search results.

Let’s break it down:

• Play both fields — Google and YouTube: Since Google owns YouTube, optimizing your content for both platforms gives you a double visibility boost. Think of it as hitting two birds with one stone.
• Embed and amplify: Pop your YouTube videos right into your blog posts. It spices up your blog and Google notices this, bumping up your SEO juice.
• Get your SEO game on: Use the right keywords, tags, and descriptions. Make sure they’re aligned with what your audience is searching for. This is like setting up signposts that lead straight to your content.
• Share like there’s no tomorrow: Spread your videos and blog posts across all your social media. Every share increases your chances of being noticed and climbing up that Google search ladder.

Now, let me walk you through what this looks like in real life. Say you’ve got a video, right? You’re proud of it — it’s informative, it’s catchy. You throw that video onto your blog, which already has some great SEO tweaks. Next thing, you’re not just waiting for YouTube to do its magic; you’re actively pushing that content through Google searches.
This strategy is like opening several doors for your audience to find you. They see you on Google, YouTube, maybe even social media and email. They start feeling like they know you. Trust builds, and bam, your brand grows stronger.
So, what’s stopping you? Get out there, start filming, and use these strategies to make sure you’re seen everywhere. This isn’t just about getting views; it’s about creating connections and building trust. Ready to jump in? Let’s get your brand out there and make sure it shines!
Check out the full article here: https://www.automationlinks.com/how-to-get-your-youtube-videos-to-the-top-of-google
Check out the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4b1ghw82T8

After recently going through a horrible heartbreak that is still taking every ounce of my energy. I decided to put my pain aside and try to help others, because this has been hell for me, and I know how hard I tried searching for free or even cheap relationship help, but couldn't get/find it. So I posted on my personal social media for people to write me and I'd help them and give them personal advice on their specific situation. Much to my surprise, this blew up and what was supposed to be something that helped me connect with others suffering and help ease someone's unbearable pain, turned into somewhat of a "calling" I guess you could say. Focusing on helping other people to avoid and manage that horrific pain has helped start to heal and I've surprisingly done a lot to help a LOT more people than I ever thought I would. I'm not a therapist, licensed or anything at all. I've just seen, done, and been through a hell of a lot. I've talked to about 28 people in the past 3 weeks. And it all started because I helped 1 person on a whim. I'm an intense empath, so I guess I have a "talent" (I guess you'd say?) for really feeling what other people are feeling and why they may be feeling this way. DM me if you'd like some help. :) since my social media one went so well and I'm wanting to try and do this for a side hustle (or maybe main hustle-I've enjoyed it so much!!) I am doing them for $10. (Cashapp, Venmo & PayPal but will not ask for payment until my response is written out and ready to be sent)I will read over your situation, ask questions, really try and understand everything, and then tell you everything I think and feel about your situation. I'll also try and look at it from your partner's point of view, help you figure out their attachment style, love language, and the best course of action for that would suit you and them. I do ask that you give me 24-48hrs though. I actually care and am doing this because I genuinely want to help people. Giving me that time gives me time to read, analyze, etc. But I know how bad it hurts, and you are not alone! I wish someone had done this months ago when I was first hurt and needed help. :/
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ❤️‍🩹

Hi, I tried posting this once before but it got deleted due to low karma, yeah I tried to use a throwaway. I mostly didn't want my husband to come across this. Anyway... I need help from my fellow Metalheads. I’m sorry if this is long.
TLDR: I completely spaced on seeing Sabaton live with my husband. It wasn’t until I was cooking dinner tonight that it dawned on me what I let slip. I had to break the news to him, and I feel terrible as hell...
Between him and I. I'm the bigger Metalhead. I introduced him to Sabaton during a life-changing road trip in 2019, that solidified our relationship. It wasn't until he listened to them on his own and looked up exactly what they sang about, that he finally got into them. We were supposed to see them back in 2021 but because they were opening for Judas Priest. And one of the members had to back out due to illness. The concert was cancelled. At least I think that’s what happened. Can no longer recall.
My dilemma is this. We were supposed to see them on May 5th in St Louis. I reminded him of the concert in early April. I was gearing up to go back home to Cali to visit family/friends for a trip, and to see Týr during this time. I was preoccupied by the whole thing (travelling and budgeting etc), that when my daughter and I returned home to my husband. I was just so happy to be home with him, with our daughter, our dog… domestic bliss, you could say. That I didn’t even notice that May 5th had come and passed. Now, here I am. I feel like shit that we both forgot but mainly. It was I who was supposed to keep track of these things. Keep in mind because I am the bigger Metalhead so I'm usually pretty good at remembering when the shows are. I have seen Sabaton twice. If we had gone on May 5th, it would have been my 3rd time seeing them live.
Unfortunately, this would have been his FIRST time seeing them live, and in person. I feel like shit. Because not only were those tickets costly, but I cost my husband his one and only chance. However, I’m hoping they come back to the States next year. So I can truly make it up to him, but I want to do something right now to do so. And to show how sorry I am. And I truly am sorry.. 😭
I was thinking of buying merch for him that we would have bought at the concert. Knowing my husband to be fairly simple. I was just gonna get him a shirt. Maybe 2. We own a projector; we love to watch movies and anime frequently on it. I wanted to set up the living room in “concert décor” or “concert vibes”. I wanted to set up the speaker for loud volume, the projector has its own speakers and it’s above us, it’s pretty loud. So we don’t really need speakers. But again, I’m going for the concert vibe, so loud it is!🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼
Then I wanted to get all his favorite snacks, popcorn, food, and weed (he smokes. I’m an edible only woman) And we’ll watch a Sabaton concert on the big screen, in our merch of course! While watching I was gonna offer him a massage during it. And end the night with bedroom fun.
I’m really not sure what else I should add here. I want so badly to make it up to him. If all he wanted was for me to pay him back for the tickets. I’m willing to do so as well. But I wanna do this until I CAN pay him back for it. Guys, what should I do here? Does this sound like a fun time or should I just pay him back?

E.g. Even on text forums where I generally do better, I've occassionally been told "You just said all the wrong things. Don't be rude" and then when I apologise and aske them to teach me so I can learn, they ignore or block me. I'm convinced that there is a whole set of unwritten rules that I'm totally unaware of. A whole code of expressions and body language, and unspoken words that others are aware of, but I'm not.
FWIW: Diagnosed with CPTSD and ADHD. Probable ASD but at a mostly functional level. Haven't bothered getting a formal diagnosis for hte latter as my T. says it wouldn't change the course of treatment.

My objective is to get a bunch of isk for severel different reasons. Inject toons, super, dreads, faxs, jump frieghter, etc. The reason I bring this up is because I just want to make it clear how much I am going to need.
I dont really enjoy the grinding of isk. I really enjoy the pvp that comes with having these things. I'd really like to blops, dread bomb, deploy supers, etc. but I don't have enough isk or the assets yet.
Basically if I could spend grinding some of the better isk facets in eve for 20 hours a week or if I get a 2nd job and grind out say $1300 a month to invest in plex what would make more isk?
Options Abyssals/C5 WH/etc. Grinding for 80 hours
VS
$1300 Plex
Just to get the discussion started.
2x of the 20,000 Plex packs at $649.99 = $1299.98 40,000 Plex = simplified to 200b isk st jita buy priced today.
I guess I really need to figure out what the best isk/hr activity I can do and multiply that tines 80.
Disclaimer: I figure I'll get some it's a game. Or don't buy Plex to buy isk. Or you need to learn the game not just Plex your way into it.(I played for several years before ans gave away all my assets so I'm starting at zero) All valid opinions but not really what this thread is about. Please can we keep it on topic?

I love the idea of Kosmik but the execution isnt quite there yet. I plan on trying it out further but theres a couple of things that get in the way. This is my first impressions review and what i intend as constructive feedback
Usability (testing on windows 10)
Smaller stuff easy to improve (but are creating attrition for me constantly)

• (BUG) For me right-click -> create if i dont navigate correctly to the desired option the sub-menu with the options disapear while the main right-click menu still shows. I need to close the menu and re-open it to try again
• Lack of basic keyboard functionality like shift+arrows for selecting text
• Wich is very weird- on one hand things like text editing are telling me 'this is mouse first', meanwhile i cant drag the canvas with the mouse, only by pressing space...?
• Im constantly confused by the delete key not working, instead only the backspace deletes cards
• Cards can only be resized on their corners
• I expected dragging urls would add then to the canvas and bookmarking being some sort of traditional bookmarks. Took me awhile to figure it out
• Theres a Tag button on the browser, but applying tags to the open browser and later closing the browser dont make that url appear anywhere searching for that tag
• 'Bookmarks'(urls on canvas) for me are failing to show any image or preview beyond the default space station illustration (except for kosmik own website)...
• ...and then the app prevents me from resizing the cards RATIO- i can make the card smaller but i cant make it more of a rectangle or very small, im forced to have a big square repeated ilustration for each, and with no alternative like folding then
• Absent settings for the overall app and smaller features or options- like ui size, custom keyboard shortcuts, dark mode

At least on windows feels a bit undercooked. I dont know wether some of those are design choices or features still missing but i feel the design a bit at odds- in some parts it conveys 'use mouse only/first' in others it demands keyboard, and in the mean time some of the common design patterns both for mouse and keyboard arent used or use some non-tradional choice- making it harder to learn, creating some confusion or wrong expectations.
For example the bookmark icon is a vey tradional and ubiqutuous skeumorphic symbol for a very common feature that saves urls or files in a list, tradionally urls. Some apps get away using then for favorite files, photos or other things given their context so the user can imagine the equivalent in a given context... but here it shows alongside the in-app browser, next to an url... Maybe a different icon, like a card with a Plus sign and a tip 'add to canvas'?
I dont understand why tags are in the browser if apparently they only work with cards added on the canvas. If the intent was treating the open browser as a canvas element then said browser should be like a card (for example being able to open multiple browser windows in different universes) as if they were cards. Right now the browser is like a temporary tool...
If the intention (im trying to deduce here) was to apply tags before bookmarking so the bookmark already apply said tags then both operations would work better together- 1 button, the add-site to canvas, and that button opening up a prompt to add tags before confirming if desired.
Overall- Service, app, marketing
I was a bit misled regarding expectations because of a video/moto 'best browser for research' - so i installed it expecting more of a Browser with a canvas then a canvas with a very limited in-app browser. So i came expecting multiple tabs or adding extensions...
I dont mean to say the app should be like a browser BUT it is a interesting area to improve and turn into its differential, given some of the competition and how most people would be using it alongside a browser anyway
In a general sense my impressions:
From the 'best browser for research' perspective:

• Some missing browser features creates attrition, like quickly switching between 2 sites (tabs or some alternative) or having common used urls quickly acessible (like favorites/bookmarks in a traditional sense)
• For example if i have a site i commonly use or search and wanted to quickly open the app requires we add then to a universe. If i make a universe of 'favorites' they will only open those sites on that particular universe... if i want those common shortcuts elsewhere id have to add then to each and every universe...?
• Given the research goal, existing features like tags and search i was expecting things like bookmarks could have descriptions. I can add a bookmark to a universe then create a text/note explaining it on 1 universe...
• ...but then i cant add that same bookmark and that text and its tags in another universe, unless i made a new repeated bookmark and written the same thing again
• Therefore 2 feature suggestions: (1)some bookmark list or browser, where the bookmarks can also have tags even if they exist globally (2)optional description for bookmarks, that would be acessible if/when theyre added from bookmarks to a canvas
• Some useful features from some browsers or famous extensions are great for research, like saving and reopening sessions...
• ...or searching through your history
• Theres complete obscurity how the app handles logins, cookies... or options for different profiles. We can make different universes, but i see no way of having different profiles/spaces (with different universes each) where one im logged in with my work mail and the other my personal one.

I wonder if the app allowed for pages inside cards (not previews, rendered pages) would be a good alternative for things like tabs
From a general canvas-notation perspective

• Universes even tough created/saved locally are always in sync with the cloud - im one of those people that dont like having sensitive data on clouds because leaks and data theft by hackers exist (and do hit even huge companies). I wouldnt create some of the universes/notes i naturally would take in Kosmik, only more general browsing links and quick notes- unless it had an option for optional local-only universes
• A lot isnt covered in the FAQ and i couldnt find the answers, such as:
• I see no options for exporting universes or its notes in any way
• I could have no sense if images copy-pasted/dragged from the browser are like urls the canvas render (so no file size) or copy-pasted files that hit the cloud space quota- im under the impression theyre all copy-pasted (and i feel like they shouldnt, the app should consider every url as that and render the url)
• I can see nowhere how much space been used, left, etc

I have used waaay too many notes and canvas apps in my search for the apps that filled that niche for me like id like, and heck for years a good app with canvas was my most wanted feature that almost no one was doing save for few clunky flowchart apps.
Im glad that now theres been a boom of options and ive been giving everyone a chance- but still not one have all the things id like (i could pinpoint a frankenstein of features from different apps id wish into one)... Kosmik is already ahead of half of the competition (imo) just by having both a native app and web view options, and by the apps having the files locally+sync instead of rendering from the cloud only all the time (much faster and snappiers wich is a big deal for me) - and the web/browsing+canvas angle is a very interesting proposition
But that is where i got disapointed- the web-browsing in app alongside canvas is still very limited to hit the potential of that proposition. As it is right now, for example, i feel more confortable having any browser in a smaller window and copy-pasting urls into Kosmik then relying fully on the internal browser, save for quick search queries
I focus so much on the browser aspect not only because it was how i first found about kosmik but also because without that angle it falls short on some alternatives. Not completely btw, drawing tools and pdf handling seem to be great and ahead of some alternatives (some are good at drawing but barely beyond that, others better as notes but with terrible or no drawing)...
But i still feel like the 'best app for research' (browser+canvas/notes+pdf), emphasis on the browsing is the best angle, best bet for Kosmik to grow above alternatives... but extra emphasis on potential- i dont feel like its hitting that note quite yet, at least not on windows.
I will try to stick with Kosmik for awhile despite the clunkiness and attriction i feel, but not as id like to use it and more like a buffer between traditional browsing/searching and taking my notes- im planing on inserting Kosmik in between as quick notes for links before later refering to then on notes elsewhere... but i confess im sort of forcing this workflow just to keep using kosmik and keep tabs on updates- im sticking around in the hopes of what may come and not for what it currently is.
I have high hopes for the app and in my case (i lean more towards power user then casual) even if i use other apps a good better version of Kosmik in this niche would fit for me even alongside other apps. Heck i currently use 2 similars in tandem (similar in notes/canvas) for their different strengths and niches- and neither have carved web browsing research as their niche
Anyway, those were my very long 2cents. I hope the feedback is taken positively

Can't help but laugh my ass off at how ridiculously selfish and self-centered this is.
Context: I'm 31, been with my FIANCEwBPD (29) for 7 years. She moved to another town for law school back in September, we'd been living together up until then. I agreed to stay in our original city to watch our pets, and the plan was for me to move to her when I secured a job in the area.
Well since September it's been nothing but push-pull devaluation bullshit. Like, we had serious issues 1.5 months into long distance so I know the problem's not me. She just randomly called me one night after acting cold and distant for a long while. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she said: "I don't know."
I said "Fine, we're done." Then she immediately booked a red eye to come see me and apologize.
We worked through that. As you may know, that likely accomplished nothing in the long run and she just built resentment cus I 'punished her'. Flash forward another 7 months to now. Throw in some more devaluation cycles. I ghosted her for 2 weeks recently for the sake of my own mental health (which she took as a personal attack even though she's been ghosting me since the second she moved up there).
We have a group vacation coming up. 4-day trip. It's a very important trip actually, because I'm headlining my first theater as a stand-up comedian and tons of college friends and family are coming out to see me.
Now, I'm not trying to stress about this bullshit up until the day of the show, I'd rather be done now. I already feel detached--in a good way. I've reflected on the peace I'll have and on the potential of finding a partner in the future who actually IS empathetic instead of just telling everyone non-stop how empathetic they are. When somebody constantly brings up a very 'strong quality' of theirs, assume that they're just masking their complete lack of that very quality. This is the case like 90% of the time. This is why during my sister's college graduation, her friends confided in her that my fiance seemed fake as fuck. She was playing a character and they could see it. Tl;Dr: If someone constantly talks about being an empath, assume they're an absolutely toxic psychopath.
I've also realized that this entire time I thought I didn't want kids, I was actually just terrified of her mothering them. Because it's inevitable she will split on them and perpetuate this cycle for another generation.
Anyway we're texting last night, I'm trying to get some clarification on where we're at before this trip because I'd rather her just not go if we're done, that'd be weird AF. She says:
"I don't know, since our last conversation I said I didn't really want to be engaged anymore and later said I didn't want to make any major decisions at that time. I still feel the same. But I thought we would be able to talk about Honey separate to that." -- She wanted me to bring our dog on the trip so she could go with her, which I told her I'm not comfortable with.
I replied: "Wasn't able to stick my fork in that word salad, you'll have to clarify. Did you get your timelines mixed up? In our last conversation you never said "I don't want to be engaged anymore."
I continued: "I asked you, after stating my concerns, if you felt there's anything you felt you could do to reduce the BPD mistreatment towards me. Then I asked if you still wanted to be engaged. You answered: 'I think so? I don't want to make any major decisions right now."
She responds: "Did not get my timelines mixed up. I said I don't think so. I don't know. I don't want to make any major decisions."
Me: "Wow haha either I misheard or you didn't say what you thought you said. Either way, 3 weeks later you feel your state of mind remains 'Don't want to make any major decisions? That's interesting."
Her: "Ok?"
Me: "I was just trying to understand what you said? I don't want to put words in your mouth. When you say 'I still feel the same', what are you referring to exactly? Because you mentioned 2 or 3 different things
Her: "That I don't really feel like I want to be engaged but don't want to make any decisions. To be honest I'd rather talk to you in person about this. And you seem to be getting mad."
Me: I am not the least bit bothered but thank you for your concern : )
Me: "In person, like during the Phoenix trip?"
Her: "I mean, if so, after your show."
I have not responded to that. I'm thinking, "That's one of the most selfish things I've ever heard. You know people are going on this trip to have fun right? Like oh yeah, why don't you just get your little comedy show done so I can break up with you immediately after? Hope that doesn't affect your performance!" Lmfao.
Not to mention, she's perfectly happy keeping me in suspense for another three weeks, which would affect anybody's preparation. She's trying to take a weekend that's about my professional accomplishments, my friends, family, and make it about herself like she always fucking does. What an empath.
Thank fuck we didn't get married. She wanted to get married 6 months after meeting me. Like literally "Let's run down to the courthouse right now and get married." I'm of the thought this relationship ended two years ago when I put that rock on her finger. She split on me 4 months after and threw a fit because I didn't want to rush and sign a contract for a $50k wedding.

I know this isn’t nearly as bad as some folks have it and my relationship with my mom has come miles since I’ve been yellow rocking her for the last 5 years.
For Mother’s Day, my husband and I had invited his parents and my mom to dinner at a fancier restaurant. My mom immediately started suggesting other places, saying it’s too expensive. I finally just said, “Don’t make this weird, it’s our treat.” But she kept making small comments over the course of the week that I ignored.
The day arrives and we have a nice meal but when my husband tries to pay for dinner, my mom has already given her card to the MANAGER. And no amount of cajoling from me could get the waitress to take our card.
Honestly? I was pissed and I said so and probably made the rest of the dinner awkward. She sent me the typical “Don’t be mad hehehehe.” Text later in the evening and all I could muster was a “Thanks for dinner, love you.”
I have no issue whatsoever with a free meal! She treats 95% of the time and I don’t care and am appreciative. But here, she knew exactly what she was doing with this power play and accomplished a few things:

1. Set her up as the savior of dinner over my in-laws which probably embarrassed them. She’s done this before.
2. Set herself up as the martyr to pay for the expensive dinner.
3. Insinuated that I must not have known how much it would cost and that we didn’t have enough money.

Honestly, it’s exhausting. Especially because I make more money than she ever did. It feels exactly the same as when she doesn’t open my gifts for her birthday or Christmas and just hoards them for months.
Welp, hope she enjoyed paying for her own and my MILs Mother’s Day gift, I guess.

First off, I don't know if the variationglass/antiimperialistgamer devil got me or what, but I started to like Asa (a little) less with the recent two chapters. If I understood it right she's being ( maybe It's an exaggeration but I can't find any other word that fits) obsessed with the idea of "helping" Denji that she's actually going to cause him more harm than good. For example she doesn't get it that Denji by saying "I can never go back to the way things used to be" doesn't mean that he's unable to do so. He means that he doesn't want to.
Also Denji's going to get laid. I wonder what will go wrong this time.
(so yeah that's it, apologies for grammar mistakes if I've made some and correct me if I've misinterpreted something)

I am planning on post a google review on my LBS which I have had a bad experience at. Intent isn’t to scold them but to make a public review so others know about my experience and have more information when choosing this LBS over others. However I want to make sure I am not overreacting - perhaps all this is “normal” for a LBS nowadays.
TLDR:
First experience: Had bike fit - seemed to be ok/no issues with this experience. They needed to cut/rebleed new brake line and brake line was not run under handlebar groove to keep flush when I picked it up so had to undo/redo myself
Second experience: Needed seat post clamp and they charged me $20 for a $13 clamp. Also had them take a look at shifting and got charged $30 for hanger alignment and after rinding one block I knew this didn’t solve issue so turned around. They talked to me like I probably had no idea what was going on (explained what a hanger was to me, indexing, etc) and told me to call back and schedule an appt since they were closing for the day.
Longer Version: Bit of background on the shop - they mainly do bike fits but do offer service as well. There main business is getting you in for a bike fit and then helping you order a custom geo bike. I decided to go here for a bike fit last year.
First experience: Bike fit seemed fine (never had one before so can’t compare). It was very basic and took 20min with some measurements but I did feel a lot better. The guy seemed nice / knowledgeable enough. I did decide to swap handlebars for larger size and wanted to upgrade to carbon so we picked one out. The brake line was too short so it needed a new one and re-bleed. I have done this myself but decided to just let them do it as they said it would be done next day. Come back and pick it up and bring it home and notice they didn’t put the brake line into one of the grooves under the handlebar which keeps the line flush with the bar. Just felt a bit messy so I had to undo and redo tape myself. Total for this was $150 bike fit, $350 bar (Enve), and $40 for bleed. I would say 4/5 star as fit was good but the tape job was below average given they missed the flush brake line.
Second experience: Seatpost clamp broke so I go to my local Specialized shop and try to get a new one. The service guy there moves mountains trying to look for an old clamp to give me to get me home but just can’t find it so calls on a local shop to see if they have it. They do. It’s the same shop I went to get my bike fit at. So I head there and the guy says yes we have the clamp and ask if I know my saddle height. I say yes because you gave me a bike fit! He says something like “oh great you don’t need to go to Specialized then you can just come here”. So I am thinking sweet this dude is just going to give me clamp for free. Anyway he finds a clamp, puts it on, and I am saying thank you and he tells me I can take it for a spin to make sure it holds. Before that he also just goes that will be $20. And I honestly think he is joking but go oh ok let me take it for a spin quick and make sure its holding and then I will come back and he goes “why don’t you pay first”. Whatever, so I pay $20, take a lap and it is indeed holding so it’s fine. [I go home and look up this seatpost and it’s a generic Orbea one that is $13 on multiple websites….] Well my shifting was a bit funky all day too and I am taking a three day trip tmrw so I figure what the heck I will have them look at it. So I come back to the shop say clamp is working fine but wondering if you can take a look at my shifting - I can’t seem to dial it in. Now I have been riding bikes for over a decade and been wrenching my own for a lot of that. I know my way around a bike and certainly all the basics - indexing, RD adj, hanger alignment, etc. For whatever reason I could not dial in my old 105 shifting and wanted to see if they could help. So they put it in the stand and tell me my hanger is slightly bent. Then they start explaining to me what a hanger is….and honestly start to mansplain me (I am a male fwiw). I think they were just trying to be nice but not sure if it was old aluminum bike, the stickers on it, or the T shirt I was wearing but they definitely thought I didn’t know anything about bikes which is very frustrating. So they “fix” the hanger and its takes no more than 2min and I am ready to walk out the door and he goes “That will be $30”. Seemed pretty steep but w/e. I pay and start going back. I make it a block and the shifting might actually be worse lol so I immediately turn back around and say yea that didn’t fix anything and they put it in the stand again and then start teaching me about indexing……I am pretty fed up at this point and they try to tweak a few things, oil the chain (which pissed me off cuz I waxed it…), and then say its shifting ok in stand so if its still an issue schedule an appt for next week and we can do a deeper dive. Honestly thought they were going to charge me again…..but they let me walk out this time.
Did all this feel reasonable? The botched tape job, charging $20 for a $13 seat post clamp, and $30 for a quick hanger alignment that did not fix the issue? I was a bit bummed by the amount of money I have spent here and they were not willing to help me out. Seemed they were more interested in the transaction than relationship. Would I be overreacting by writing a say 3 star google review on this? Idk the whole situation was very off putting but don’t want to call out a local business if all this seemed reasonable.

Race Information

• Name: Eugene Marathon
• Date: April 28, 2024
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: Eugene, OR
• Website: https://www.eugenemarathon.com
• Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11285376078
• Time: 2:46:46

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	2:41-2:44	No
B	PR	Yes

Splits

Mile	Splits
1	6:08
2	6:23
3	6:24
4	6:15
5	6:15
6	5:55
7	6:19
8	6:04
9	6:23
10	6:39
11	6:23
12	6:13
13	6:12
14	6:12
15	6:14
16	6:19
17	6:19
18	6:04
19	6:37
20	6:44
21	6:10
22	6:31
23	6:40
24	6:34
25	6:45
26	6:34
0.2	1:27

Training

After racing the Tokyo Marathon in early March, I had 8 weeks before racing Eugene Marathon, which was my second spring marathon. During those 8 weeks, I ran the NYC Half, the Cherry Blossom 5K and Cherry Blossom 10 Miler, and was either recovering from those races or doing my usual runs and workouts to keep my fitness sharp. The workouts and my race results during this time (finished in 1:19 high at the NYC Half on tired legs two weeks after Tokyo, and finished the Cherry Blossom 5K in mid-17s plus turned it around in less than 24 hours after to finish in the low 59 minutes range at the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run) suggested that I was in shape to go for a sub-2:45 marathon.
Ultimately, I settled on aiming to finish Eugene somewhere between 2:41 and 2:44. Because this was my final marathon of the spring training cycle, this was my last opportunity to run a fast marathon. Based on my recent race results plus observations from my coach, I was in PR shape; Eugene has ideal weather, and the course was ideal to make such an attempt. Or so I hoped.

Pre-race

I flew over to Portland on Thursday night and spent a couple of nights at my friends’ place and got to hang out with them, plus walk around Portland and check out the sights with them as well. On Saturday, my friends and I drove over to Eugene and we went straight to packet pickup at a hotel around downtown Eugene. The packet pickup was quite smooth, and I was able to pick up my packet and spent some time browsing the vendors at the expo afterwards. The rest of the day was chill; my friends and I did a bit of exploring around downtown Eugene, and we had dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory that evening. Before heading to bed that night, I laid out my race kit and prepped my gear bag so that I could get dressed and head out to the shuttle pickup area as soon as I woke up that morning.
I woke up on 5 AM on race day, had a quick breakfast, got dressed and headed out of my hotel towards the designated shuttle pick up point. Got on the shuttle bus and we arrived at Hayward Field around 6:20 AM. I quickly took care of business in the bathroom, then went over and dropped my gear bag at the bag check area. I ran into a friend at the gear check area and we went inside Hayward Field so that we could take a look at the famous venue. We then made our way to the start area, and we did a quick warm up jog nearby before entering the start corrals themselves and lining up close to the start area. I took half of a Maurten 160 gel before starting, and I had plans to consume the remainder after the first six miles.
After the usual pre-race remarks and the singing of the National Anthem, the race started at 7 AM and we were on our way!

Race

Start to 5 miles

The course was a bit crowded at the beginning, primarily because the marathoners and half marathoners started at the same time. There was quite a bit of rolling hills during the first 5 miles and so I focused on getting into a groove and going by effort and doing what I could to try to not go out too fast. My bladder was feeling a bit full at the start and I ended up taking a quick pee break after mile 2 and lost 20 seconds in the process.
Otherwise, this stretch was uneventful. We went through some really nice neighborhoods within Eugene during the first two miles, and saw some scenic stretches along the way while heading south towards the first turnaround point. I crossed the 5 mile mark in 31:17

5 miles to 10 miles

As we headed back north towards the center of Eugene, we overlapped a bit with the marathoners and half marathoners coming through in the opposite towards the mile 3 marker. I held my efforts relatively steady on this stretch, and I still felt quite good so far. I took my first gel sometime mile 7, and I was fueling every 30-40 minutes or so throughout the race. After going through the mile 9 marker and running past Hayward Field and the start area (which had been taken down at this point), my stomach started to feel a bit weird and I realized I need to find a porta potty at the next aid station to take care of this, and soon. Fortunately, I did not have to wait too long; there was a porta potty half a mile ahead, and I went straight to it and took care of business there, losing about 20 seconds in the process.
Besides the untimely bathroom stop around mile 9.5, nothing else happened to me on this stretch. I went through the mile 10 checkpoint in 31:23 (1:02:40 elapsed)

10 miles to 15 miles

After passing the mile 10 marker, we went onto the bike path along the Willamette River, before easing back onto Franklin Boulevard. I saw signs telling half marathoners and marathoners that the half/full marathon split at mile 10.75 was coming up; seeing that, I mentally prepared myself to run a good portion of the races with not many runners around me. At mile 10.75, the half and full marathoners split off, and I headed east, crossing the river into Springfield and looped through there for a mile before heading west to continue the rest of my race. Most of this stretch was quite flat, and I got comfortable easing into my goal pace and ticked off the miles. I took another gel sometime after mile 12 and was hitting up almost every water stop along this stretch. After mile 14, we went onto the wooded bike paths, where we would spend most of the second half. The crowd support started to diminish, and this was going to set the tone for the rest of the race.
I went through the 15 mile checkpoint in 31:16 (1:33:56). The organizers did not set up an official halfway checkpoint but based on watch data and the paces from the 5 mile splits, it was likely that I came through the halfway point a few seconds under 1:22.

15 miles to 20 miles

Besides briefly crossing paths with the half marathoners after the mile 15 mark, things started to gradually get tough for me. I was mostly running by myself on the wooden bike paths, with few runners ahead of me or behind me. And the crowd support was sparse too, which did not help; I only saw small crowds every few miles or so. Pace wise, I was holding on, but I was starting to increasingly feel the fatigue and I began to negotiate with myself. Which isn’t what I needed at this point. I wasn’t feeling too great somewhere between the mile 19 and mile 20 markers, and I ended up taking a quick 10-15 second breather at the aid station to catch my breath, take a caffeinated gel and grab some hydration, and put myself back together before continuing.
I went through the mile 20 split with a 32:05 split (2:06:01 elapsed). With a 10K to go, it was going to get harder for me the rest of the way.

20 miles to Finish

What I do remember about the last 6.2 miles, unfortunately, was how hard this was for me. Admittedly, this felt much harder than the last 6.2 miles at the Tokyo Marathon. It was giving me a lot of deja vu, which was not what I needed. My legs felt very heavy and there were times where it felt like I had leg weights tethered to my legs. My legs did not have any life left in them either. I wasn’t feeling too great either, even after taking a quick stop a moment ago. Realizing my predicament, I decided to break the remaining distance up and focused on getting to the next mile marker(s) as a way to keep me motivated the rest of the way. One mile at a time. Then two miles at a time. As I was gradually fading the rest of the way, I remember at least 8-10 runners passing by me during this stretch and clearly they were having a better day than I was having. It didn’t feel great seeing that happen to me but there was nothing I could do about it. Crowd support continued to be sparse up until less than a mile out from the finish at Hayward Field. I took my final gel around mile 23 so that I had enough left in the tank to take me the rest of the way.
It felt like forever, but I finally got to the mile 25 marker, and I remember telling myself “only 1.2 miles left to go”. Soon after I crossed the mile 25 marker, the marathon course merged with the half marathon course and half marathoners were running on the left hand side of the road making their way to the finish, while marathoners were running on the right hand side of the road. I navigated through an underpass, and after coming out of the underpass I saw solid crowd support for the first time since the first half of the race. Lots of spectators were lined up along the road leading to Hayward Field. Completely exhausted at this point and my legs feeling like lead at this point, I interacted with the crowds as best as I could while holding onto the pace the best that I could.
I crossed the mile 26 mark and saw Hayward Field in the distance. I made a right hand turn to enter the track at Hayward Field and took it all in: I am running on Hayward Field itself. What an incredible feeling to experience. With 150 meters to go on the Hayward Field Track, and with the finish line now visible, I picked up the pace and waved to the crowds at the stands as I covered the last 100 meters to the finish.
I crossed the finish line in 2:46:46, finishing 7 seconds faster than the time I ran at Tokyo two months prior. I knew it was going to be close, but talk about cutting it quite close! The 7 second marathon PR that I set at Eugene is now my smallest marathon PR, beating the 9 second marathon PR that I set at the 2021 Chicago Marathon. My result was good enough to place within the top 100 overall, which is quite nice I must say!

Post-race

After crossing the finish, I took a moment to catch my breath, and then took in the moment. I was standing in Hayward Field, where numerous high profile track meets were hosted. And I got to run on the small part of the track on my way to the finish. How cool is that?!
Walking through the chute, I collected my finishers medal and ran into running friends who were either spectating in the standards or crossed the finish line behind me and had quick chats with them. While getting post-race pictures at Hayward Field, I noticed a stain on my singlet and I realized that I experienced significant nipple chafing to the point that my nipple bled. So much for having nice finishing line and post-race photos! And it was the first time that it happened to me. I picked up my post-race food in the Hayward Field stadium tunnel, and gradually made my way out of the stadium towards the gear check area; I eventually reunited with my friends who came with me to Eugene to support me there. Eventually we ran into some of the same running friends at the gear check area and we sat around chatting about how our races went.
My friends and I drove back to Portland later that afternoon, and after I got myself cleaned up, we went over to a nearby bar to celebrate.

Final Thoughts and Updated Marathon Progress

While it was a bit disappointing that I faltered down the stretch and did not hit my goals, I am glad that I held on and squeeze out a small PR of 7 seconds at Eugene; it could have gone a whole lot worse. Hindsight is 20/20 of course, but when I was comparing my pace data and elevation data, it appears I went a big aggressive with the paces and took a bit of a risk there. Much of the rolling hills were in the first 5 miles of the race, and chances are I might have overcooked myself on that stretch; if I had done this differently, I would have told myself to relax on the paces on the rolling hills and not overcook myself in the process.
Above all, I am very grateful to make it through this long (and sometimes weird!) training cycle mostly intact, did not experience significant injuries along the way (!), did not burn out along the way (very important!), and picked up numerous PRs along the way: 10K (en route, twice!), 10 mile, half marathon, and full marathon (twice!). And I think it is fair to say that many people would kill for the kind of success that I’ve had during this training cycle.
That said, I learned a few important lessons throughout this training cycle. First, it appears I got into peak shape during the training block leading up to the Tokyo Marathon, and I did not make any subsequent fitness gains afterwards. It probably did not help that I was recovering from Tokyo or recovering from the shorter distance races that I raced during that 8 week period between Tokyo and Eugene. I’m not getting any younger with every passing year, and I probably need to be more diligent with recovery from races moving forward. That said, I have no regrets about doing those races because I still got solid results out of them. And finally, I realized that I prefer shorter training cycles – specifically ones that are between 12 and 16 weeks in duration – and I peak out at anywhere between 10 and 13 weeks into a training cycle, and I’d like to take advantage of my peak fitness soon after and not any longer beyond that. I’m grateful that I was able to handle a 20-week training cycle so that I could stay in shape for both Tokyo and Eugene, but admittedly this was a bit too long for my tastes. Lessons from this longer-than-usual training cycle will have a significant impact how I plan out my training cycles and races moving forward.
The road ahead for me will only get harder, and I vowed at the beginning of the training cycle to trust the process and not let sub-par workouts or sub-par race results drag me down and cause me to lose sight of the bigger picture. And I am still committed to doing that for myself.
For now though, I’m taking some time off training, running for fun, and looking forward to having a social life and enjoying life in general for a bit before transitioning over to summer outdoor track season. And I look forward to what is next for me!
With that said, here’s the updated version of my marathon PR progress within the past few years.

• 2017 - 5:07:32 (Marine Corps; debut)
• 2018 - 4:03:43 (Chicago)
• 2019 - 3:53:20 (Los Angeles) / 3:31:00 (Berlin)
• 2020 - 3:09:54 (Rhode Island)
• 2021 - 3:09:45 (Chicago)
• 2022 - 3:03:20 (Hartford)
• 2023 - 2:58:06 (London) / 2:50:28 (Berlin) / 2:49:16 (Chicago)
• 2024 - 2:46:53 (Tokyo) / 2:46:46 (Eugene)

After recently going through a horrible heartbreak that is still taking every ounce of my energy. I decided to put my pain aside and try to help others, because this has been hell for me, and I know how hard I tried searching for free or even cheap relationship help, but couldn't get/find it. So I posted on my personal social media for people to write me and I'd help them and give them personal advice on their specific situation. Much to my surprise, this blew up and what was supposed to be something that helped me connect with others suffering and help ease someone's unbearable pain, turned into somewhat of a "calling" I guess you could say. Focusing on helping other people to avoid and manage that horrific pain has helped start to heal and I've surprisingly done a lot to help a LOT more people than I ever thought I would. I'm not a therapist, licensed or anything at all. I've just seen, done, and been through a hell of a lot. I've talked to about 28 people in the past 3 weeks. And it all started because I helped 1 person on a whim. I'm an intense empath, so I guess I have a "talent" (I guess you'd say?) for really feeling what other people are feeling and why they may be feeling this way. DM me if you'd like some help. :) since my social media one went so well and I'm wanting to try and do this for a side hustle (or maybe main hustle-I've enjoyed it so much!!) I am doing them for $10. (Cashapp, Venmo & PayPal but will not ask for payment until my response is written out and ready to be sent)I will read over your situation, ask questions, really try and understand everything, and then tell you everything I think and feel about your situation. I'll also try and look at it from your partner's point of view, help you figure out their attachment style, love language, and the best course of action for that would suit you and them. I do ask that you give me 24-48hrs though. I actually care and am doing this because I genuinely want to help people. Giving me that time gives me time to read, analyze, etc. But I know how bad it hurts, and you are not alone! I wish someone had done this months ago when I was first hurt and needed help. :/
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ❤️‍🩹

A little bit about why I'm here.
My video game tennis resurgence started with Top Spin 2k24. Gotta be honest. I didn't like it that much. Gameplay had good spots and can be fun but every point is a long rally and not very realistic. The biggest downside though is the career mode is terrible.
That led me to Tennis Elbow 4 and Full Ace. TE4 was good but I fell in love with Full Ace. The gameplay is so good in that game. But obviously the production value and graphics are lacking.
Which brings me to Tiebreak. At $40 I thought I'd give it a try.
Graphics: The game looks pretty good. Players are replicated better than any of the other games. The venues look good. The courts look good. Presentation is nice. The flags not moving is super weird however lol. Not the hugest deal though.
Modes: It's early access so not fair to judge it on what's there right now. I do expect career to be fairly plain but at least realistic. Working your way up playing in real tournaments with realistic formats. That's good enough for me.
Community Creations: I love this feature but... I didn't see any created players that looked much like their real counterparts. I didn't spend much time looking around though to be fair.
Gameplay: I've read that not a lot of people like the RT/LT feature for choosing back hand and fore hand. It's honestly one of the biggest reasons I chose to try this game. Full Ace does it and while it was a little hard to get used to, it's probably my favorite feature in that game so I was excited to see it in Tiebreak. I really like the added level of control which helps the game feel like I'm not just playing Pong after awhile. After trying it I can say it could be implemented better. It's a little hard to use being attached to the same as the sprinting buttons.
This leads me to movement in general. They seem to be aiming for super realistic movement with taking momentum and other subtleties into account. I'm not sure what the problem is or why it's not translating well to gameplay but it's not good. It's for sure not fun.
I don't think sprint buttons are necessary. The game should be able to figure out when you are wanting to sprint automatically without the need of a dedicated button. When you pair that button with the FH/BH button it gets convoluted and overwhelming.
The lunging looks terrible. The first time I saw it, it was so jarring. It happens so much too because of the issues with movement in general.
I've gotten used to the meter for hitting the ball but it feels like it needs balancing. You basically have to start hitting the button as soon as the other player hits and doing that while trying to decide if you need to sprint and also which hand to use is just waaaaay too much. Delaying when you need to start your swing just slightly would help that immensely.
All that is super exacerbated when you are anywhere but the baseline. Net play is atrocious and by far the worst part of this game. It's really really bad. You have to hit the button while the other player is still swinging or your player just stands there taking the ball in the forehead. I wasn't even able to complete that part in the advanced tutorial.
The ball is easy to hit into the net which is good but like Top Spin it feels too easy to keep the ball in play. Points are won mostly by player momentum preventing the players from getting to balls they should not by miss hits or out of bounds shots. I was on the default difficulty though so maybe it's different on harder settings.
Lastly the ball visibility. I like having a TV feel, clean screen when I play sports games. With the ball elevation graphic turned off it's near impossible to see the ball. That's by far the worst thing that could happen when the game already demands cat like reflexes.
In conclusion. It honestly might sound like I hate this game. I really don't. I've had some fun with it and I see definite potential. If they can get the gameplay tweaked this could be really fun. I'm glad I bought it and I'm looking forward to seeing how it progresses.
I will never be on board with Top Spins career mode and sometimes the graphics in Full Ace just aren't cutting it for me so I'm really hoping this game can capture some of Full Aces fun but realistic gameplay with Top Spins production value and graphics. I guess we will see.

A couple of years ago, I went with my now husband to the wedding of his dad's best friend's daughter (sorry for the mouthful).
We were engaged at the time, and a friend of his parents asked why we were taking so long to get married. She proceeded to say that it was probably because I was pushing for the marriage and my now husband was hesitant. I had never met her before.
When I hugged the father of the bride goodbye he ran his hand down the side of my body. A full 12 inches from my waist down past my hip. He didn't say sorry or acknowledge it at all.
Right before we got married my husband's parents gave us some money as a gift and then asked if we could go on a triple date with that man who had hugged me weirdly.
I asked in private with my now husband if I could just fake sick that day because he made me really uncomfortable and my husband said can't you just go for me.
We did a tiny bit of couples therapy and my husband said that these things that felt disrespectful are just how the north shore operates. People put their foots in their mouths. Old people are way too touchy feely. Like his aunt always rubs his knees and calls him handsome and he always is grossed out too.
He didn't really start saying things to his parents about stuff like the above until recently. I think when I told him I would love him forever and i didn't care what they thought I just wanted to know he'll protect me something switched in his brain.
But lately when I look in the mirror I see so much less light in my eyes than I did before all this went down. I don't know how to get over that he took so long to say something and how to get over how his family acted. We are the same religion but from different parts of town. He always says that's just how north shore X operates whenever they act without consideration.