I’m in my early twenties, graduated in fashion. However, education runs a bit differently in my country, so I guess my certificate would be what’s considered as an “associate” (2 years of bachelors) although I schooled for 3 years.
Basically, the big dream is to move out of my country through being an entrepreneur (fashion business).
I don’t really know where to navigate from here. I’ve never liked school, but should I study another 4 years for a bachelors? I can’t have everything my way, I know that. The basic requirement to moving abroad is having at least a bachelors, right?
Then, I also need to gain experience in running a business. In school we only learned how to design, not sell.
I already have a strong concept and image for my brand but it’s all useless unless I market it.
And while you can start the business once you’re in the country (and not start it first and then move), you still have to find a reason to move there first …
Oh, and I’m still not even sure where exactly I’d like to move because throughout my life I’ve only been around Asia. I’m thinking some place in Europe or China.
Sorry I’m all over the place, I’m just trying to dish out my thoughts.
If you were in my position what would you do?

May 14, 2024
Eurovision might best be described as “the Olympics meets American Idol”: a singing contest where countries face off for the number one spot in musical glory. It’s incredibly campy, silly, and mostly very fun.


But this year’s Eurovision — which wrapped on the weekend — was dogged by controversy, as organizers faced protests for allowing Israel to compete amid the ongoing war in Gaza.


The European Broadcasting Union, which runs Eurovision, insists the contest is “non-political”. But our guest today argues that geo-political ideals and tensions have coursed through this competition since its inception in 1956.


Tess Megginson — a PhD candidate studying central and eastern European history at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill — explains.


For transcripts of Front Burner, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/frontburnetranscripts


Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday.

You can listen to the episode on the web here.

My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.

My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.

The way things are shaking out it is looking like I will have to drive cross country across the northern plains and Midwest next April, one of the worst months for tornadoes, with a crippling fear of tornadoes. Even thinking about them is enough to send me into a panicking spiral and panic attack. I won’t be driving the car, but I will be in it so are there any recommendations to help with my anxiety? I drove cross country a few years ago in October, well outside of tornado season and even being in then plains gave me intense panic and anxiety the entire time, so does anyone have any advice for my trip?

IR have been backbone of country since its inception and had been making losses for years now , how long do you thing goverment would bear this burden they have scaled as much as they could now only way to make profit or atleast break even is to cut down cost which includes removal of loss making trains and cars "The Comptroller and Auditor General of India (CAG) report presented in Parliament on August 8, 2023 states that there was a loss of ₹68,269 crore in all classes of passenger services during 2021-22, with all the profit from freight traffic nullified in cross subsidising passenger services." I do understand people suffer both who buy ac ticket once who cant and both deserve a quality service but there isnt any other way? Also maybe after sometime they could figure out more efficient way to operate these train then they would be re-introduced

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I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ta-bff-234324. He posted in AITAH and amiwrong but posted the same text in both subreddits. I chose to use the ones from AITAH
Thanks again to u/Literally_Taken for the rec and to Choice Evidence and u/chickenoodledeprived for letting me know about the update!
Previous BORU here. New update marked with ****\*
Trigger Warning: racism
Mood Spoiler: tentatively happy ending
Original Post: April 1, 2024
My (29M) best friend Jess (29F) keeps on mentioning my ex (29F) in front of my fiancee, and I am thinking of cutting her off. I want to know if I am overreacting, or if Jess is in the wrong.
For context, Jess and I went to the same high school and the same college. We were friends in high school. However, since we both went to the same out-of-state college, we became best friends since then. We have always been there for each other during the best and worst times. However, things have always been platonic, and she is more like a big sister to me, who made sure I stay on the right track.
I have only been in two long-term relationships so far. One was with my ex Lisa for 7 years. We met in college and dated all through our college years. Lisa and Jess also became good friends, too. After college, Lisa and I just grew apart and had different goals in life. I became "boring" after college as I was working on my PhD while doing a full time job. Lisa broke up with me as she wanted to party on weekends, while I was home studying. I was heartbroken, but I don't think I ever blamed her or had resentment towards her, as I understood my decisions were selfish and should not hold her back from having the best life.
Jess always stood by me and comforted me during that time. Jess and Lisa were good friends and Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready. I foolishly held on to that hope and stayed friends with Lisa. That was until I met my fiancee Yang. After I finished my PhD, I got a nice job in a big tech company. Yang joined our team a year after me. We started going out for drinks, and dinner and we started dating seriously pretty soon. We are happy together, and financially in a great place. Needless to say, I stopped talking to Lisa after I started dating Yang.
I proposed to Yang a year after we started dating and got engaged last year. Jess has been acting weirdly since we got engaged. One of the first things she said to Yang after we got engaged was how I had planned the same thing for Lisa (proposing on a local hiking trail). It was a bit off-putting that she was bringing up Lisa whom I broke up with almost 5 years ago on such a happy occasion. However, Yang asked me to not spoil my mood, as she felt Jess was just commenting on how I had that plan in mind for years. Since then, every time we meet, Jess without fail brings up Lisa and how the things I am doing are all the things I had planned with Lisa. This happened when we bought a house, planned for vacations, etc. Jess always starts with some nostalgic story and then brings up how Lisa and I were so happy together. She is still good friends with Lisa and keeps giving me updates about Lisa and how great Lisa is doing at work when no one is asking for it. It felt like she was painting a rosy picture of Lisa to Yang and telling Yang that she would always be second to Lisa.
Yang told me Jess's comments bothered her, and I also felt the same. I have brought this up with Jess many times and asked her not to do it. However, she says she will try but since I dated Lisa for 7 years, she would be part of many stories from the past. Also, she asked me why talking about Lisa bothers me and if I still have feelings for her. I have reduced hanging out with Jess. However, she is close with my mom and is always invited to all our family parties and holidays.
I talked to my mom and sister about this and they feel I am overreacting. They feel Jess is just telling stories and since the stories are mostly from college days and later, Lisa will be a character in the story. They also feel I should not be bothered by Jess mentioning Lisa since we broke up a long time ago. I feel that it's disrespectful to Yang as she doesn't need to hear about all the fun Lisa and I had when we were together and how we were planning to get married. Do you think I am the asshole to stop here or Jess is truly acting out of line?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Probably need to separate your time with your fiancé away from your friend. ... On a side note, your friend comes across poorly on one other aspect. When you were too busy to date so you could study. She is encouraging you to stay available while your ex goes about dating around? Think she ever encouraged your ex to not? Or do you think she was telling your ex she could have all the fun she wanted cause you'd still be around? Food for thought.

OOP: She thought we were 24 when we broke up and she always justified that Lisa was young and it's natural to date around before you settle down. She also encouraged me to do the same. However, after my breakup, I decided that I would not be in a relationship (based on what happened to the previous one) and never dated anyone until after I graduated.

Commenter: Not wrong, in fact it's thoughtful of your finace's feelings. " Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready." - yikes.
An easy: "Jess, you keep bringing up my ex, and keep making comments which are dismissive of my relationship with Yang. I am telling you point blank that this is harming our friendship and it saddens me that you dismiss my feelings as being unimportant on this topic. If you can't respect me, and my relationship with Yang, please understand why it will likely end our friendship."

OOP: We have had this exact conversation. Jess then proceeded to ask Yang is she offended by her telling stories about me. Yang was polite and said she is ok. Then she told me I am being too sensitive.

Commenter: Op do you know if Lisa is married? Maybe Jess is trying to sabotage your engagement so you can be with Lisa.

OOP: I know Lisa is single. She has not been in any serious long term relationship after me. Infant, Jess always makes it a point to bring that up regularly and update me, even after I tell her I have no interest. My mom loves gossip and they also discuss a out Lisa regularly.

Jess is just being a mean girl/have you talked to Lisa at all?
At this point, I suspect Jess is just being mean to Yang. I would have cut her off long ago if she was not so close to me or my family for so many years.
Lisa is out of the picture, to be honest. I have completely gone no contact with her for the last 2 years.
Jess has feelings for you:
That's not true. I did not write it since I thought it was irrelevant, but Jess is happily married and has a 3 year old kid.
There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but top comments were NTA
Update Post: April 23, 2024 (22 days later)
I wrote a post a month ago regarding my friend Jess mentioning my ex constantly in front of my fiancée. Thanks to everyone who commented, and how inappropriate it was. However, the last month has been nothing but crazy and I still trying to make sense of what happened so far.
After my post, I decided to talk to Jess and gave her an ultimatum not to speak about my ex Lisa again. I know Jess and Lisa are still friends, but I was uncomfortable of her comparing my fiancée Yang with Lisa all the time. I broke up with Lisa 5 years ago, and she is nothing but a faint memory in my past. Jess kept on defending herself and telling me that I was with Lisa for most of my adult life and it's hard to tell any stories from the past without including her. She also blamed me for being emotionally childish and just forgetting about Lisa when she was with me for 7 years. Finally, Jess agreed that she will not bring up Lisa in front of Yang, and I should also not treat Lisa as she does not exist since she is still Jess's friend. I informed Yang about our conversation. Although she was appreciative about it, she said I did not need to do it and she knows how much I love her and every time Jess brings up my Lisa, she feels sorry for Lisa that she let a guy like me go.
Yang went to visit China two weeks ago for a month as we plan to get married in her hometown. She is taking care of her shopping as well as preparations for the wedding. Jess invited me to her house that Friday for dinner as I was home alone. I am also good friends with her husband, and we were all just chatting and drinking in the living room. Around 7.30pm, the doorbell rang, and Jess excitedly went to open the door. To my surprise, it was fucking Lisa at the door. She was all dressed up as if she were ready for a date and came in. I had not seen her in person for almost 3 years and I was shocked to see her. She sat down and started making small talk with me. I was extremely uncomfortable and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess. I was angry at her and asked her what was going on. She kept on telling me that it's been 5 years since the breakup and to get over it and be nice to Lisa. She said Lisa was excited to meet me and she thought we were all adults and could have one fun evening together. We had a fight and I told her that she should not have invited Lisa after our conversation the other day and I do not want to be friends with her anymore. I went into the living room and politely excused myself and told everyone that I had a work emergency and had to leave early. Lisa looked sad, but I genuinely felt uncomfortable to be made to hang out with my ex without my consent.
I came home and called Yang. I have never seen her more furious, and she told me she is not comfortable with Jess anymore as she has some agenda that we do not know about. It's different to talk about Lisa, but to invite her without consulting is not ok. I also felt the same and I called Jess the next day and told her that she crossed a line, and I was terribly upset with her. I stopped taking her calls and ghosted her. I also told my mom and sister about the whole incident.
Last Sunday, my mom called me for lunch. When I got there, I saw Jess was already there. I told my mom that I do not want to talk to Jess and can't stay. However, she asked me to sit as they all wanted to talk to me. I have a glutton for punishment and decided to hear them out. My mom started with how Jess has been there for me all these years and only has my best interest at heart. She kept on telling me that they are the three people (mom, sister, and Jess) that love me the most. Jess started saying how she felt that I was making a big mistake in not having to hear what Lisa had to say. She told me that Lisa was my first love and Lisa is now ready to settle down and we can pick where we left off. She reminded me how broken I was when Lisa left me and how life is giving me a second chance. My sister also chimed in and said how they all liked Lisa more than Yang and how we both looked so great together. Finally, my mom started saying how our culture was so different than Yang and it is hard for them to relate to her. I asked them in what way, and my mom said that they did not understand what Yang says sometimes and have nothing in common with her. Then my mom asked me to think about how Lisa and I would have such wonderful looking kids, while if I marry Yang, our kids will look so different. I started getting their drift and I probed more. My mom told me how our kids would look Asian with "small eyes" and not like any others in the family.
I asked my mom if she cared about my kids looks more and not about how smart they will be since Yang has a PhD. She blew it off, and I realized she just did not want me to marry Yang because she was Chinese and not white. My mom told me to forgive Jess and my mom asked Jess to talk to Lisa on my behalf and asked her if she would be interested in getting back together with me. My mom was adamant that since I loved Lisa so much, I should be happy and pick up things where we left off as that is the best for everyone. I have never been so angry and may have said a lot of unkind things to all of them before I left
I am so depressed right now. I not only lost my best friend, but also am not sure how I can move on from what my mom said. My mom and sister raised me and that is the reason where I am today. However, I cannot get over how racist they are being and how they were just pretending to like Yang all these years while actively working on breaking us up. I have been so shocked that I have not told any of this to Yang so far. I might wait for her to come back next week and talk to her in person.
Again, thanks everyone for all your messages on the last post as they helped me a lot to think through the situation. My life is more fucked up than I could imagine, and I cannot imagine how dejected Yang will feel after hearing all this.
*****New Update Post: May 7, 2024 (5 weeks after OG post)****\*
I wrote a post two months ago regarding my best friend Jess constantly bringing up my ex when talking to my fiancée Yang. I wrote an update two weeks ago about my mom, sister and Jess scheming about trying to get me back with my ex Lisa because they were uncomfortable with Yang being Chinese. They tried to do it when my fiancée was visiting her parents and I felt so betrayed by their actions.
As I said in the previous post, I blew up on my mom and sister about what they said and immediately left. I did not take calls from them or answer texts for the next several days. Their messages initially were anger towards me on why I left before they could finish what they wanted to say. However, I think they realized on day 3 that they might have crossed the line this time and became extremely apologetic. I finally messaged them to leave me alone and not to contact Yang or I until we contact them. Jess did not message me the whole time.
I did not tell Yang about the situation until she came back home 9 days ago. I initially did not know how to bring up the subject, but she sensed something was wrong and asked me about it. I was so worried about hurting her, but I told her about what happened. I was upfront about the stunt Jess pulled and she was angry at Jess. I also told her about my visit to my mother's place, but she did not react with any anger. She just asked me if I was ok.
The next few days were confusing where I was more upset than Yang. She was just excited showing me all pictures and telling me stories. Finally, on last Thursday evening, she opened up and asked me if I was ok about my mom's behavior and what I plan to do. I told her my thoughts and how I cannot forgive them for what they said about her being Asian and them wanting me to marry a Lisa because she was white. I asked her why she was not more upset as it was bothering me.
She told me that when she told her parents about me, they had the exact same reaction for her dating someone who was not Chinese. Her family is very traditional, and her parents were very upset about her decision. It took them a few months to warm up to me and accept me. She never told me about this because she wanted me to have good relationship with her parents. She told me that now they are the most excited doing arrangements for our wedding.
She told me that she has always felt something was off when she talked to my mom, my sister or Jess and they did not like her. My mom and sister would be very friendly with her in front of me, but never invited her for anything when I am not around. She suspected that it may be due to fact that she is not white and does not understand the American traditions. She said she is not upset with them and now that this is in the open, she should talk to them and assure them that she would be as good of a wife as Lisa or any other girl. She said that she does not want to break a family in order to start a new one.
Despite my protests, Yang invited my mom and sister for lunch on Sunday. She said that it would be good for us to talk about everything and hear why they are concerned about her marrying me. I was really not happy with this, but Yang spent most of Sunday morning cooking for them.
When my mom and sister arrived, there were a lot of waterworks and apologies. My mom apologized to Yang and me for her behavior and told us that she would never bring it up again. My sister also was quiet and had tears in her eyes. There were a lot of blame games. My mom and my sister were blaming Jess for constantly telling them how Yang might not be great for me and how she won't fit into our family. My mom and sister fought with Jess after I left and Jess blamed Lisa. Based on Jess's story, Lisa has been depressed for the last few years and when I suddenly got engaged to Yang, it became worse. Jess thought I was also depressed after Lisa left me, because I did not date anyone for 3 years. In reality, I just wanted to focus on my work and studies and never had time. So, Lisa convinced Jess that she has to get back together with me as that is what I wanted too. Jess said how sorry she felt for Lisa as she was her longtime friend and listened to her plan as she thought it was good for everyone.
My mom and sister told us that I should stay away from Jess because she orchestrated the whole situation. They kept on hugging Yang and apologizing to her. Yang in turn also started crying and telling them that she will do better to fit in with them. It was all a big mess. I am still skeptical of my mom's change in heart, but I also want to see Yang happy. However, I think it will take a lot of time and healing before I could truly trust my mom and sister.
Currently, my mom invited us to lunch at her place next week and told me that Jess will not be there. Jess has still not message me or Yang. I really don't know what I can do in this situation. I am still upset and furious at my mom, but I also want to respect Yang's effort to keep the family together. Thanks to everyone for all the messages and supportive comments. It really helped reading them when I was feeling very sad.

I’ve not recovered from rebound insomnia since stopping Xanax 2mg for a couple nights in row (a few too many, this is such a fucking sensitive drug it’s annoying asf. A lifesaver but tricky) and I’m fucking EXHAUSTED. I look tired, I am tired, and even willing to give the CPAP another go. I’m waiting for it in the mail. I’m not that old and am usually on Ambien and have went through SO many sleep or sleep type medications. There’s like 5 I haven’t tried and that’s bc they are brand most likely. The only one that I feel really worked for ME, I capitalize the me because my personal peak trouble with my insomnia is ONSET. Maintaining sleep for me is second hardest. Dayvigo helped with sleep onset like no other… but it’s also a really weird ass drug that paralyzed me moments before going to sleep. It’s actually a really harmless side effect, so if you can get through that, you can get some good help there. Only problem is there is no generic so it’s 350+ a month and I just can’t do that. So now I’ve been able to make a return back to Seroquel, I forgot why I moved on from it years ago, wish me luck tonight on 25mg. I’ve been burned and exhausted and it’s getting dangerous. I’m in a rigorous PhD program and so I have a lot to lose. Afraid of dependence with benzo medication but it still has a place in my arsenal, so I’m trying to find something sustainable or at least something to get me through this sleep deprivation and not detrimental enough to really screw me when it comes to the books. As someone who has to go through dense ass material and expected to process it and know it?… it’s the not sleeping that has fucked me more than anything. I see sleep as an exchange.. good sleep = good work Bad sleep = fuck your future. I’ve seen for myself, it’s that fucking simple. Fill in the blank of what all that could mean, I think it adds up…
PS I’m overall healthy but have PMDD. I stay relatively active as I play rugby and go to the gym. I could eat more and I take vitamins. Ik ppl usually like to reference these details
TLDR; trying Seroquel for the first night in years tonight and crossing all crossables that it works :(

Hello everyone,
I am a person with disability (mental disability due to ADHD) and I was able to use my disability certificate (issued in my country) to avail discounted prices of Japan airport buses, attractions, etc.
However, I have not tried to avail it for Shinkansen. Does anyone have any experience or know if you can use overseas disability certificate to avail Shinkansen? As I plan to use the Shinkansen instead of highway bus for my travel from Hakata to Kumamoto.
Appreciate the kind advice.

Mediclock Healthcare is a leading pharmaceutical manufacturer and wholesaler based in Surat, Gujarat, India. The company is dedicated to delivering high-quality, affordable medicines to healthcare providers and patients worldwide. Mediclock Healthcare operates a state-of-the-art manufacturing facility that adheres to strict global standards for quality and safety. The company holds several key certifications, including ISO 9001, WHO-GMP, CE, and MSME, which demonstrate its commitment to excellence and enable it to export products globally.
Mediclock Healthcare's product portfolio spans a wide range of therapeutic areas, including anaesthetics, birth control, CNS drugs, diuretics, hepatitis treatment, inhalers, laxatives, muscle relaxants, nootropics, pain killers, skin care, thyroid hormones, and vitamin supplements. The company's team of experts is constantly engaged in research and development to bring innovative solutions to the market.
As a wholesaler, Mediclock Healthcare works with a network of distributors and partners to ensure its products reach patients in need around the world.
The company has a strong presence in several countries, including Afghanistan, Israel, Jordan, Pakistan, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Syria, Philippines, Turkey, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Yemen, Vietnam, Indonesia, Malaysia, Iran, and Tajikistan.
Mediclock Healthcare's commitment to quality, affordability, and innovation has earned it a reputation as a trusted partner in the healthcare industry. The company's dedication to empowering its employees and expanding its global reach is reflected in its goals of crafting a healthier tomorrow, one dose at a time.

Would This Be Considered Gifted?
Hello all,
I recently underwent some psychological testing for the sake of clarifying some diagnoses and gaining a bit more insight into my personal abilities and issues, etc.
Unfortunately, and I will admit to this now (though my post will show it either way), I am a pretty insecure person, and I’ve carried a lot of self-doubt and low self-esteem issues specifically related to intelligence, pretty much as soon as I can remember (elementary school onward). I was never tested or evaluated for my schools’ gifted programs, as I never performed well academically and had a lot of behavioral issues. This all changed come my junior and senior years of high school, when I finally learned that I had ADHD and probably ASD. After that affirmation and subsequent treatment, I was able to turn everything around and achieve straight A’s until graduation, even leading up to now in college, where I’ve managed to maintain a 4.0 and be accepted into my school’s honors program.
I think I was very hindered up until this point of my life because I felt like a failure. All of my closest friends were gifted students; they were the only people I could relate to on the deepest, most personal level, yet I never had the validation of being “one of them,” so to speak. Perhaps it doesn’t matter. I know it doesn’t matter. I’m doing well now, and that’s all that should be important. That said, I am curious if maybe all of this worry and anxiety and belief that I should have been given more opportunities earlier in my life was valid. At one point in ninth grade, a teacher of mine pulled me aside and told me I shouldn’t be stuck in school when it was clear I exceeded my peers in many ways, and that I could graduate early if I decided to take accelerated classes online. She reached out to my parents and my counselor, but my father (a gifted individual himself) told me she probably just wanted me out of her class for causing trouble, and that it didn’t mean anything. That, along with my fear of losing out on the social aspect of high school, caused me to reject the offer. That said, I still found success by the end of high school, as the English department awarded me and another student a certificate of achievement out of our entire graduating class of about 450 students.
When it comes to the test results above, I do have some skepticism. I feel like the tests I took as part of the WAIS-IV weren’t as in-depth as some people online seem to describe them as. That could just be a false impression on my end, but upon further investigation of the psychologist I visited, I found a lot of negative reviews and controversies regarding her practice, which only fuels my skepticism. Anyway, as is indicated by my results I have ADHD-C, and this has had a noticeable impact on my behavior, memory, and processing speed throughout my life. Of course, for the test, I was asked to cease medication, so I’m also unsure if these results are fully representative of my ability in a more ideal headspace. Another potential impact on my results could be depression, which was also diagnosed by the psychologist, and insomnia.
I apologize for the long-winded post. I am mainly confused because, despite the 114 FSIQ and 122 GAI, which wouldn’t normally be considered gifted, I scored 132 in VCI, which is enough for classification in some schools’ gifted programs. I hope it is fine for me to post these here rather than CognitiveTesting, but I may cross post if necessary. Any and all insight would be appreciated. Thank you all!

I’m currently on a bicycle tour of Australia. I have about 50 weeks left and have been taking my sweet time heading north out of Brisbane on the rail trails. But I’m finally ready to start putting in some decent mileage, maybe 60-80 kilometers per day, on a standard touring bike with 2.25” tires. (It’s not a mountain bike, but it can handle compact dirt roads just fine.)
I’m in Wondai right now at something of a crossroads: take the Kingaroy-to-Kilkivan Rail Trail and proceed closer to the ocean (probably towards Agnes Water), or ride north to Proston/Gayndah and take an inland route to Monto. (There’s a partially completed Boyne Burnett Inland Rail Trail that I might hop onto for no more than twenty or thirty kilometers.) Either way, I plan on passing near Rockhampton and will reevaluate in a week or two.
I’m down for any input regarding routes throughout Queensland or just places to visit. I don’t plan on straying much more than 200 kilometers from the ocean at any given time. I figure I can make it to Cairns in five or six weeks, I’m not in a huge rush. The country’s been very generous so far, but it’s pretty much a blank map in my head and all the town names have started to blend together, lol.
Thank you in advance!

I’ll try to keep this as short as I can. I’m due to start my PGCE in September. All being well, it’ll be everything I want/expect it to be and I’ll embark on a new teaching career in a year’s time. That said, I know that classroom teaching isn’t for everyone (as the drop out rates indicate) and whilst I’m confident it’s something I will enjoy, I want to ensure I make the most out of the experience whatever I decide to do afterwards.
A big factor in my decision to begin teacher training was how much I’ve enjoyed helping students with their uni applications/interview prep - something I’ve done on a freelance basis for the past 5/6 years - and my hope is that this is something I can get involved with during my upcoming placements (and future career). I’m aware that a lot of international schools actually have dedicated college counselling roles and I’d love to learn more about them.
As I understand it the application process is similathe same as teaching roles but is that where the similarities end? I saw it mentioned under one post that these roles typically follow the teacher pay scale, but another poster suggested the contrary.
In terms of experience, what would a typical candidate profile look like? With teaching roles it seems that their is a general set of expectations/hierarchy of desirable qualities (min. 2 years exp., subject specialism, CPD, Masters etc.), but this doesn’t seem to be the case for college counsellors.
How competitive are they? More/less/equal to teaching roles.
How prevalent are they? Do these dedicated positions only exist within the so-called top tier schools, or are they ubiquitous? Does this vary by country?
Are there any visa differences? For instance, China’s 2 year teaching experience post-certification requirement is pretty clear, but with no college counselling qualification standard, how does it work?
For some context, my background is: Undergrad at Cambridge > Founded a startup (unrelated field)/freelance uni guidance > PGCE Oxford (I cringed writing that, but it’s relevant to the post)
With this in mind, what steps could I take to best position myself for gaining a role as a CC down the road? - My experience is solely restricted to U.K. apps, how best to learn about US/EU/Canada etc? - If I find after my PGCE I’d rather go down this route, am I better getting a teaching role that allows for uni guidance responsibilities (I guess to kill two birds with one stone), OR to move into a full time role with a private education consultancy to build experience? - Is the above even necessary? Might I be eligible for CC roles straight after the PGCE? - Any advice on how I might leverage my time at Oxford with CC in mind? Obviously I’ll be very busy with placements, and the freelance stuff will have to take a back seat, but seeing as it’s where a lot of int. students like to apply, there’s probably some advantages to being in situ and having access to the people there.
I said I’d try to keep things short so I’ll end it there, but I look forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts!
TLDR; For those that are/work with college counsellors, what can you tell me about the role? How to get into it? What can I do as a prospective PGCE student to make myself an attractive candidate for such roles if I decide not to pursue classroom teaching? What makes a good/bad CC?

Male, 27, BA in Foreign Languages and Cultures, BA in East Asian Studies (Double Major Chinese and Japanese, Double Minor Spanish and French), Graduate Certificate in Chinese-American Studies, 6 months professional job experience.
Hey there. The job search for me out of college has been exceptionally brutal. I won't get into the weeds about it, but I just spent 2 and a half years waiting on potentially being hired for my dream job, only to find out I have been determined unsuitable for the job. To say I'm crushed would be an understatement. I'd go on about how devastated I am, but no one needs to hear all that. As you can see from above, I'm multilingual, and was primarily looking for jobs relating to Translation. The job I'd like to have would have me working with the languages I've studied so hard to learn, and would utilize my expertise in East Asia. That has proven to not only be very difficult due to a lack of job postings, but my lack of experience seems to be hampering any ability to even be remotely considered.
I have explored the options my degree provides me with but have so far come to these realizations:
Interpreting: Depends on your level of experience, and where you live. There is no agreed upon standard of certification for interpreting, and it varies from state to state, and sometimes company to company. Generally requires some kind of certification and specialized training, which I have not yet received, along with experience demonstrating your expertise. You can land a high level job somewhere like the UN, or with a government or other company or agency, but the majority of jobs are freelance, with income highly variable.
Translation: There aren't as many job postings for this as you might think. Many are remote jobs, and those that do exist do not pay well (most are $35,000 a year), even for languages that are rare or in high demand. Many translation agencies outsource out-of-country, and thus have no desire or need for domestic translators, and usually only require the services of translation agency management jobs that do not actually require language skills whatsoever, such as being a liaison between clients, overseeing translations, etc. Some require ATA certification, which is a difficult requirement to meet, needing to pay a $500 per language fee annually, along with taking a test each year, for someone who has been unemployed for a long time now. There is the freelance route as well, but it too is highly variable, and success is not guaranteed. I would likely need to start an LLC to prevent legal issues due to lack of experience if I decided to go all-in on freelancing.
Military: This is an option I am still considering, but it has several drawbacks. It is a 5 year commitment minimum, without the freedom to say where I am to go, where I am to live, when I am to leave, no guarantees about what language I would study, or what job I would be performing, and boot-camp. The military provides absolutely no guarantees, irrespective of what a recruiter says, and I may not actually be suitable depending on a few factors (physical stature, background, etc.). If I change my mind, there would be absolutely no turning back. Lastly, the military itself is not guaranteed to accept me. However, the upside is the potential for a very high paying job out of the military when my service is complete. Some jobs pay up to $120,000 a year.
Government: 2 and half years (no, I'm not kidding), and I have nothing to show for it. I've done this route definitively, I simply do not have the energy, mental fortitude, and patience to try again.
Teaching: This is an option I am seriously considering, but it would require me to go back to school. Ideally I would like to be a Professor of Chinese, or East Asia Studies. I am $65,000 in debt, and I would be adding at least another $30,000 to that to get a PhD. I'm also unsure of where to start, and what programs to look into and apply at. Even after all of that effort and work, I may only make $40,000 a year, though I would likely enjoy the job.
Analyst: Many of my colleagues who I studied with have gone onto perform Advisory or Analyst roles, and most are doing well for themselves. This is a broad category of Risk, Financial, International, and other Analyst positions that don't directly have to do with foreign language per se, but use it as a major skill. I have attempted dozens of times to apply to various positions, but without experience, I have found I am nearly always turned down even before I get an interview.
Cryptologic Linguist: Without a Security Clearance, this is a job that is usually impossible to apply to.
These are the major options, but of course there may be many others. I'm not sure what to do or what job to apply for. There are many directions I could go in, but I'm starting to feel like I don't even know how to apply for a job anymore.
TLDR; What jobs should I look for now given my skills, experience, and degrees? Am I being too limited or unrealistic in my job search? How do I look for a job?
I'm totally devastated, and I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice at all would be appreciated.

I'm drafting our itinerary for Italy and Croatia, including stops in Ljubljana and Lake Bled. I'm considering renting a car in Rome and returning it to the same location. Additionally, we will be taking a ferry from Bari to Dubrovnik with the car. Could you confirm if this is advisable? 😁 Please provide any tips and advice I should keep in mind.
We have previous experience renting cars in Spain, Santorini, Iceland, and Italy, including drop-offs in different locations within the same country. However, we've only driven within the country where we rented the car. What do we need to know for a cross-country car rental? Thanks!

Hi,
I am trying to be a bit proactive with the immigration situation. My Filipino wife and I got married outside the Philippines. When we got married we fulfilled all of the local conditions. However, we never recorded the marriage with the Philippines government.
In the visa reciprocity table, it says

For marriages that occurred outside of the Philippines, the original marriage certificate from the issuing country should be provided, and translated into English, along with the Philippines recording of the marriage.

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/Visa-Reciprocity-and-Civil-Documents-by-Country/Philippines.html
Also, I saw this
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/Supplements/Supplements_by_Post/MNL-Manila.html

A Certificate of No Marriage (CENOMAR) from the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) valid within one (1) year from the date it was obtained. The U.S. Embassy in Manila requires a CENOMAR for applicants whose unmarried status is important to their visa category.

However, my wife will not be going through Manila because she is not a resident there. Like many Filipinos she lives overseas. We also didn't need a CENOMAR when we got married because the country we got married in doesn't require that.