Back rib pain after charley horse

So last Tuesday night, Wednesday morning I hooked up with a fwb of mine and had really rough sex and since then, I’ve been dealing with ED and penile pain that comes and goes( mainly around the glans, foreskin tip, urethra, and around the shaft). Also, been having lower back pain, pain in my buttocks and thighs while bending over, stretching or squatting. I’ve had lower body pain (hips, thighs, buttocks, tailbone and calves sometimes) tingling since ‘21 and it’s still the same, but usually the pain comes and goes and will also subside after any vigorous activity such as working out, dancing or when I go on my walks. I’ve also noticed weird things like more frequent urination or feeling like it doesn’t come all out and I have to push. Also, have random dull pain in pelvic area after masturbation. There was a slight burning sensation in my perineum area but that was like a one time thing. I’ve had this symptoms before it’s just I have issues with erection quality or even trying to get one standing up. I’m just really nervous as to what is going on.

Notes:

• I am EXTREMELY busy. I try to check my messages at least once per day, but sometimes it could take up to 3-4 days. Please be patient if I don't get back to you immediately. Thank you!
  
• I buy only in Unrevealed Key Link Format or Plain Steam Keys. No gift links.
  
• For PayPal, I am in the US region and I only send via G&S. Please note there will be PayPal fees (including international/conversion and purchasing fees) to consider.
  
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• You must be willing to fill a spreadsheet with steam keys.
  

 
I pay with the following:
TF2 & PayPal
 

I BUY HB Games	with TF2	with PayPal	Currently Active Humble Bundle?
7 Days to Die	0.8 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
A Little To The Left	2.1 TF2	$3.98 PP	-
Alien: Isolation	1.5 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
Aliens: Fireteam Elite	1.4 TF2	$2.69 PP	-
Arma 3	4.2 TF2	$7.95 PP	-
Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
Automobilista 2	1.6 TF2	$3.03 PP	-
BIOMUTANT	1.4 TF2	$2.75 PP	-
BROFORCE	0.8 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Barony	2.6 TF2	$4.9 PP	-
Barotrauma	3.8 TF2	$7.26 PP	-
Batman - The Telltale Series	1.3 TF2	$2.43 PP	-
Batman Arkham Collection	1.1 TF2	$2.08 PP	-
Batman: Arkham Origins	0.6 TF2	$1.21 PP	-
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition	1.0 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
Bayonetta	0.7 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
Beyond Two Souls	1.7 TF2	$3.31 PP	-
Blasphemous	1.4 TF2	$2.69 PP	-
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition	4.9 TF2	$9.36 PP	-
Borderlands 3	3.1 TF2	$5.88 PP	-
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection	3.0 TF2	$5.73 PP	-
Builder Simulator	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Celeste	0.8 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Cities: Skylines	2.2 TF2	$4.18 PP	-
Code Vein	1.2 TF2	$2.26 PP	-
Conan Exiles	2.5 TF2	$4.79 PP	-
Contractors	2.9 TF2	$5.56 PP	-
Control Ultimate Edition	2.6 TF2	$4.85 PP	-
Crusader Kings III	4.4 TF2	$8.38 PP	-
DARK SOULS™ II: Scholar of the First Sin	4.8 TF2	$9.15 PP	-
DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT	4.4 TF2	$8.34 PP	-
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2	2.3 TF2	$4.44 PP	-
Dark Souls III	7.2 TF2	$13.74 PP	-
Dark Souls III: Deluxe Edition	9.9 TF2	$18.86 PP	-
DayZ	10.6 TF2	$20.07 PP	-
Dead Island - Definitive Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Dead Island Definitive Collection	0.9 TF2	$1.72 PP	-
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Dead by Daylight	3.1 TF2	$5.97 PP	-
Deep Rock Galactic	3.0 TF2	$5.62 PP	-
Destiny 2: Beyond Light	1.0 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
Destiny 2: Bungie 30th Anniversary Pack	1.3 TF2	$2.47 PP	-
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Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed	0.7 TF2	$1.4 PP	-
Devil May Cry HD Collection	1.8 TF2	$3.45 PP	-
Devil May Cry® 4 Special Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PP	-
DiRT Rally	0.8 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
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Dungeon Defenders	3.0 TF2	$5.78 PP	-
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Farming Simulator 19	2.2 TF2	$4.23 PP	-
For The King	0.5 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
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Gotham Knights	1.5 TF2	$2.83 PP	-
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Hotline Miami	0.5 TF2	$0.87 PP	-
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Jurassic World Evolution 2	2.7 TF2	$5.19 PP	-
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Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes	1.7 TF2	$3.16 PP	-
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Lethal League Blaze	1.8 TF2	$3.44 PP	-
Life is Strange 2 Complete Season	1.4 TF2	$2.72 PP	-
Life is Strange: True Colors	1.5 TF2	$2.82 PP	-
Little Nightmares	1.1 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
Loop Hero	0.8 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN	3.3 TF2	$6.31 PP	-
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Mad Max	0.7 TF2	$1.3 PP	-
Mafia: Definitive Edition	2.4 TF2	$4.56 PP	-
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MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries	2.6 TF2	$4.89 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 Deluxe Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.4 PP	-
Metro 2033 Redux	0.5 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Metro Exodus	1.3 TF2	$2.47 PP	-
Metro Redux Bundle	0.7 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Middle-earth™: Shadow of War™ Definitive Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
Midnight Ghost Hunt	0.8 TF2	$1.45 PP	-
Monster Hunter: World	2.0 TF2	$3.87 PP	-
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Mortal Kombat XL	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Mortal Shell	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
NASCAR Heat 5 - Ultimate Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
NBA 2K23	5.3 TF2	$10.16 PP	-
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 4	2.2 TF2	$4.18 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker	0.9 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Nioh 2 - The Complete Edition	2.7 TF2	$5.18 PP	-
Nobody Saves the World	0.5 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Northgard	2.4 TF2	$4.5 PP	-
Orcs Must Die! 3	1.6 TF2	$3.01 PP	-
Outlast 2	0.9 TF2	$1.68 PP	-
Overcooked! 2	1.2 TF2	$2.3 PP	-
PC Building Simulator	0.6 TF2	$1.14 PP	-
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Plague Inc: Evolved	1.9 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
Planet Coaster	2.4 TF2	$4.59 PP	-
Planet Zoo	2.5 TF2	$4.75 PP	-
PlateUp!	1.0 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
Prison Architect	2.7 TF2	$5.14 PP	-
Project Wingman	1.5 TF2	$2.94 PP	-
RESIDENT EVIL 3	2.0 TF2	$3.76 PP	-
Rain World	0.9 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition	2.5 TF2	$4.69 PP	-
Resident Evil 4 Ultimate HD Edition	1.0 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
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Rising Storm 2: Vietnam	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Road 96	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
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STAR WARS® THE FORCE UNLEASHED II	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
STAR WARS™ Knights of the Old Republic™ II - The Sith Lords™	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Satisfactory	5.0 TF2	$9.55 PP	-
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Sid Meier's Civilization VI	1.2 TF2	$2.33 PP	-
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Sleeping Dogs™ Definitive Edition	1.0 TF2	$1.95 PP	-
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Space Engineers	2.6 TF2	$4.91 PP	-
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SpeedRunners	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
Spintires: MudRunner	1.0 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
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Star Wars Republic Commando™	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Star Wars® Empire at War™: Gold Pack	0.6 TF2	$1.09 PP	-
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition	4.9 TF2	$9.37 PP	-
Stellaris	3.3 TF2	$6.25 PP	-
Stellaris: Federations	2.7 TF2	$5.11 PP	-
Streets of Rogue	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Subnautica	5.3 TF2	$10.08 PP	-
Sunset Overdrive	0.8 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
TEKKEN 7	1.9 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
The Ascent	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes	1.3 TF2	$2.42 PP	-
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan	2.2 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
The Escapists 2	1.0 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.89 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Team17: From Gold Greens to Battle Scenes Bundle
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The Jackbox Party Pack 5	2.3 TF2	$4.33 PP	-
The Jackbox Party Pack 7	3.6 TF2	$6.81 PP	-
The LEGO® Movie Videogame	0.4 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
The Mortuary Assistant	3.9 TF2	$7.41 PP	-
The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition	2.7 TF2	$5.1 PP	-
The Quarry Deluxe Edition	2.7 TF2	$5.21 PP	-
The Universim	3.0 TF2	$5.78 PP	-
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier	0.7 TF2	$1.42 PP	-
The Walking Dead: Season Two	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
The Walking Dead: The Final Season	1.2 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series	3.4 TF2	$6.41 PP	-
The Witness	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
The Wolf Among Us	1.3 TF2	$2.53 PP	-
Total War SHOGUN 2 Collection	1.8 TF2	$3.48 PP	-
Total War: Attila	1.6 TF2	$3.12 PP	-
Total War: Napoleon - Definitive Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.05 PP	-
Total War: ROME II - Emperor Edition	2.5 TF2	$4.68 PP	-
Total War™: WARHAMMER®	3.1 TF2	$5.96 PP	-
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator	1.7 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
Trailmakers	0.7 TF2	$1.37 PP	-
Tropico 6	1.6 TF2	$3.03 PP	-
Two Point Campus	1.0 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
Ultimate Chicken Horse	1.6 TF2	$2.96 PP	-
Unpacking	0.9 TF2	$1.8 PP	-
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VTOL VR	4.6 TF2	$8.76 PP	-
Victoria 3	1.4 TF2	$2.72 PP	-
Viscera Cleanup Detail	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PP	-
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Wasteland 3	1.8 TF2	$3.46 PP	-
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Worms Armageddon	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
Yakuza 0	3.1 TF2	$5.82 PP	-
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IGS Rep Page:
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N.B.: I'm mainly looking for the games listed in the title and at the bottom of the thread. Feel free to post other offers, but if I haven't responded to your comment(s) by my next posting, I likely wasn't able to find a trade that interested me.
​
For sale (for Steam Gift Cards or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
​

• Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; $350 $400 or best offer)
• Fall Guys (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Dragon Hugger Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Icy Adventure Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition (removed from Steam Store)
• Spec Ops: The Line (removed from Steam Store)

​

• Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
• Humble Sekai Project Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Stand with Ukraine Bundle or similar))

​
For trade:
*signifies that a game is tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
​

• Nioh 2 – The Complete Edition
• Soulstice
• Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin – Ultimate Edition

​

• A Little to the Left
• Black Book

​

• Superliminal
• The Talos Principle Gold Edition
• The Witness

​

• Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed
• Life is Strange: True Colors
• Scorn
• There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition

​

• Hellpoint
• Remnant: From the Ashes
• Tails of Iron

​

• Hell Pie
• OTXO
• The Red Lantern
• Twin Mirror

​

• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Gloomhaven - Solo Scenarios: Mercenary Challenges
• Small World
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Be not Afraid...
• Small World - Cursed!
• Small World - Grand Dames
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• Splendor
• Splendor - The Cities
• Splendor - The Strongholds
• Splendor - The Trading Posts
• Terraforming Mars

​

• A Short Hike(?)
• A Story Beside(?)
• Aces & Adventures(?)
• Arcade Spirits(?)
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock(?)
• Beyond Blue(?)
• Cat Quest(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!(?)
• EARTHLOCK(?)
• Harmony's Odyssey(?)
• Homeworld Remastered Collection(?)
• Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure(?)
• Minecraft: Java Edition - MCC Island Jingle Jam Rewards Pack(?)
• Monster Prom(?)
• Sifu Deluxe Cosmetic Pack(?)
• Spirit of the Island(?)
• SUPERHOT(?)
• Tinytopia(?)
• Toodee and Topdee(?)
• Train Valley 2(?)
• Turbo Golf Racing(?)
• Valthirian Arc: Hero School Story(?)
• Xenonauts(?)

​

• Angry Birds VR: Isle of Pigs

​

• Dark Deity
• Edge Of Eternity
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising

​

• CRYPTARK
• Dead Estate
• Paint the Town Red

​

• Lost Castle
• My Time At Portia

​

• Toodee and Topdee

​

• WWE 2K23

​

• Chivalry 2
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• The Forgotten City
• GRIME
• Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition

​

• Back 4 Blood
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman™: Arkham Origins
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Mad Max
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• Mortal Kombat 11
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Add-On Bundle
• Mortal Kombat XL

​

• Alan Wake Collector's Edition
• Bendy and the Dark Revival
• Pathologic 2

​

• CODE VEIN
• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• Katamari Damacy REROLL
• TEKKEN 7

​

• A Juggler's Tale
• Spirit of the Island

​

• Boomerang Fu
• PlateUp!
• ROUNDS
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Ultimate Chicken Horse

​

• Fae Tactics
• Flynn: Son of Crimson
• Ikenfell
• Ring of Pain
• Void Bastards

​

• After the Fall® - Deluxe Edition
• Zero Caliber VR

​

• Patch Quest

​

• Five Dates
• Late Shift

​

• Demon Turf
• Pumpkin Jack

​

• Trover Saves the Universe

​

• Coromon
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
• Jack Move

​

• Road 96
• SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator

​

• A Short Hike

​

• Cloudpunk
• Ghostrunner
• Severed Steel

​

• Eternal Threads
• Turbo Golf Racing

​

• Lethal League Blaze
• OlliOlli World
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS

​

• Dragon Fist: VR Kung Fu
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners

​

• Celeste

​

• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Hollow Knight

​

• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery

​

• Bionic Commando: Rearmed
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Lost Planet 3 - Complete
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®

​

• Aground
• Calico
• Evan's Remains
• StarCrossed
• Teacup

​

• Into the Radius VR

​

• Aliens: Fireteam Elite
• Founders' Fortune
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp

​

• Nomad Survival
• Scarlet Tower

​

• The Citadel
• Viscerafest
• WRATH: Aeon of Ruin

​

• The Blackout Club

​

• BIOMUTANT
• Edge Of Eternity
• Golden Light

​

• Call of the Sea
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• The Amazing American Circus
• Armello
• Backbone
• Calico
• Euro Truck Simulator 2
• Farming Simulator 17
• Ghostrunner
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine
• Orbital Racer
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pilgrims
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Starfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo key) and Starfinder Adventure: Junker's Delight (Paizo key)
• Strange Brigade
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• System Shock 2
• System Shock: Enhanced Edition
• Ticket to Ride
• XCOM® 2
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

​

• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Othercide
• Shady Part of Me

​

• The Last Campfire

​

• Sakura Swim Club

​

• Summer in Mara
• Townscaper

​

• The Long Dark: Survival Edition

​

• Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

​

• Conan Chop Chop
• Grow: Song of the Evertree

​

• Styx: Shards of Darkness

​

• Hard West
• John Wick Hex
• Phantom Doctrine
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors

​

• Arizona Sunshine

​

• Backbone
• Blade Assault
• First Class Trouble
• Super Magbot

​

• Golf Gang
• Maid of Sker

​

• Vampire: The Masquerade - Coteries of New York
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest

​

• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl

​

• Crown Trick

​

• Guts and Glory
• Hello Neighbor

​

• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• Grim Fandango Remastered
• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS®: Knights of the Old Republic™ II

​

• Duke Nukem Forever
• PGA TOUR 2K21
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds

​

• In Sound Mind

​

• Little Big Workshop
• Not Tonight

​

• Brigador Deluxe Edition
• Verdun

​

• Resident Evil 0
• Resident Evil 6
• Resident Evil

​

• EVERSPACE™

​

• Cultist Simulator
• GWENT: The Witcher Card Game - Ultimate Starter Pack (GOG key)

​

• The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie Video Game

​

• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense

​

• STAR WARS™: Squadrons (Origin key)(?)

​

• Bionic Commando
• Street Fighter V

​

• As Far As The Eye
• Impulsion

​

• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Complete Pack

​

• Bartlow's Dread Machine

​

• Blaston

​

• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School

​

• The Walking Dead

​

• Total Tank Simulator

​

• Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded

​

• XCOM® 2

​

• Black The Fall
• Goetia

​

• Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

​

• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• This War of Mine

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• Tom Clancy's The Division™ (Uplay key)
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• The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
• ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus

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• Blue Rose

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• Natural - Beyond Nature -
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• The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 — Prelude

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• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards]
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
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• Guns of Icarus Alliance
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• Duck Game
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WANT:
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• 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
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• any extra copies of WWE 2K23

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IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

TLDR: My partner had a very sudden manic episode turned into a psychotic break over the past week, and I'm not handling him being in a psych ward for the time being very well. It's honestly killing me, I'm so worried for him - I'm looking for advice and support on how to cope with this event.
My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together for nearly 3 years. For 2 years, we were long distance. In August 2023 is when we closed the distance and began living with each other in real life. Last week, the week of May 5th, is when this situation begun.
We frequently took edibles (weed) as part of our routine. Last Tuesday, he did just that - and while he was high, he started to get curious about his parents' finances. He began to text both his mother and father, asking questions about what they've saved up for their retirement. His mom seemed to be dodging his questions a lot, but eventually she told him that she estimated that both she and his father would have around 10-13 million after retirement. Not only this, but she also both implied and outright confirmed that my boyfriend would be inheriting this large amount of money after they pass away. This quickly unlocked a hyperfixation for him, and we began to talk about it together. It's all we talked about for that week, because we thought, why is this something that his mother would lie about? There's absolutely no understandable reason that she would have to lie about this. I should mention that, after Tuesday, he did not take any more edibles or substances, though regardless I feel that weed may have partially played a role in why this happened.
Throughout the week, as he was delving into this hyperfixation, his behavior began to change. I didn't truly notice it at the time, and just thought he was very reasonably acting a bit odd and excited because, this was a life changing thing that was presumably happening for the both of us. I didn't think to question his mother's statement. Me being passive to his behavior and not suspicious of his mother's statement and behavior is something I feel I am to blame for, because it turned out to be a slowly building manic episode. On Friday, May 10th, is when we found out that the 10-13 million inheritance was a lie. He was distraught - absolutely broken. Something snapped in him after that day.
On Saturday, he woke me up at 6-7 am. I suspect that he may not have slept Friday night into Saturday morning. He reassured me that he would be okay, we would both be okay after this, that we would get over it and be able to focus on something else. But very quickly throughout Saturday his behavior shifted drastically, and it turned into a full blown manic episode. For the entire first half of the day, he paced around our apartment, glued to his phone, spamming everyone in his life about the thoughts he had been having. It's normal for him to be on his phone a lot, so I didn't question this. I regret it so much, I should have noticed the signs. It's difficult for me to convey what exactly his thoughts were or what his hyperfixation was, because most of it didn't truly make sense, but the short version of it is that since the inheritance wasn't real, he began to hyperfixate on starting a business from the ground up with both me and his friends. It spiraled from there.
In the evening is when his behavior began to become violent and increasingly more erratic. He began to direct his frustration and anger towards me, starting to hyperfixate on me and our relationship, blaming me for the entire situation. We've had a difficult relationship, but we've always managed to come back full circle either way. He became paranoid of me, believed that I could hurt him, and so much more. It broke my heart. It's more than I can convey into words. Saturday evening into Sunday morning I stayed up all night with him, trying to handle the situation as best as I could, but it only got worse. Eventually, his parents arrived at our apartment. He's always had apprehensions about introducing me to his parents for multiple reasons, especially including the fact that we met online. He believed that they wouldn't understand it, and he didn't have a close relationship with his parents to begin with at all. It sucks that I could only meet them as this situation was going down.
Sunday, May 12th, is when his parents took him to the emergency room. It is only just yesterday that he was admitted into a psychiatric hospital. I'm heartbroken. I'm keeping in contact with his mother, but I haven't gotten many updates from her besides the fact that he's in a hospital and that they're waiting to hear from the doctor. Based on what I've seen with his behavior and researched, it seems that his manic episode eventually turned into a psychotic break. I also suspect that he may have bipolar 1 disorder. I'm not a doctor, but it matches up with everything that I've seen, and I'm devastated. It was horrible. His mother has bipolar disorder, though im not sure what type - though my partner did mention that his mother would have occasional manic episodes.
It's been two days since he's been gone. All I've been doing is grieving. I've eaten very little, all I've been doing is crying, and everything in our apartment reminds me of him. It's incredibly painful to be here without him because we spent all of our time together. I'm also worried about him being in the hospital itself - I don't want him to be mistreated by others or misdiagnosed. Psych hospitals can be very hit or miss, and it terrifies me. It's possible that he could be there for several weeks at the very least given how severe his mental state was. I just don't know what to do, or what this means for us in the future. He hasn't even gotten a diagnosis yet, from what I know. I just feel like I'm being kept in the dark. I don't know anything about what's happening at all. I just want him to be okay. How can I get through this? I don't think I can get through this. What happens when he gets back? Is he gonna be okay? Have any of you experienced what it's like to be kept in a psych hospital? I don't know what to do with myself when he comes back, I don't know how to support myself in the mean time, and I don't know what this means for us or for our relationship. I'm so, so scared. I'm terrified. I love him so much, I just want him to be okay.
I don't have many people around me to support me, so posting here has been my last resort. I feel awful, I feel horrible, I feel like this is all my fault. I feel like if I saw the signs earlier, I could've prevented this, I could've grounded him, I could've brought him down from where he was headed. I don't know what exact mental illness he has yet, I can only assume based on what I've seen. But, has anyone ever been in a similar situation like this? What do I do with myself? I know he's getting the help that he needs, but I can't help but worry for him. I feel super isolated and alone and anxious in our apartment. It's empty here without him, incredibly empty.
If you've read this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means more to me than you know. So, once more, TLDR: My partner had a very sudden manic episode turned into a psychotic break over the past week, and I'm not handling him being in a psych ward for the time being very well. It's honestly killing me, I'm so worried for him - I'm looking for advice and support on how to cope with this event.

So you think you're a Romeo
Playing a bit in a meting show
Well, take the long way home
Take the long way home
​
When you're the rib of the neighborhood
Why should you care if you're feeling good?
Well, take the long way home
Take the long way home
​
There are times that you feel you're bit of the backing shot
All the green in pots
They're coming down, boy
And your wife seems to think you're one of the homewares
It makes you stop and stare
Before she'd be so kind
​
When lonely days become lonely nights
You take a trip to the downtown lights
And take the long way home
Take the long way home
​
You never see what you want to see
Forever playing to the higher seats
Well, take the long way home
Take the long way home
​
And when you're up on the set it's something you can't believe
Oh, you don't wanna leave
How they shout for you
But your wife seems to think you're losing your grip
Oh, must you leave the ship
Or is there no way out?
​
[back and forth between a mouth-harp and a clarinet]
​
Does it seem that your life always have mistake after bad mistake
Oh, that is what it takes
For you to grow, boy
When you look through the years and see what you could have been
Oh, what you might have been
If you would have more time
​
So when the day comes to settle down
Who's to blame when you're out on the town?
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
​
Aaaaah, ooooooh, aaaaaaah
​
Long way home
Long way home
Long way home
Long way home
Long way home
Long way home...

Hey everyone.
I am a 21 year old patient. I have stage 4 soft tissue sarcoma in my pelvic area/peritoneum.
I was diagnosed at age 20 in September 2023, so about 8 months ago. This was AFTER two biopsies because we struggled to figure out what I had, thankfully it got sorted out.
Since then, I have had 12 rounds of harsh chemo. 6 round inpatient even, which was absolutely the worst experiences of my life.
After 6 rounds, I was told i’m still inoperable. Sucks honestly, that’s the only real chance of cure for me as it is for many. 6 horrible rounds of the most toxic chemo didn’t do good enough and I was beyond upset and felt extremely defeated. I did have a good response, but unfortunately not enough. So, I started a new regimen, which so far has held it mostly stable with a slight reduction.
I go to MD Anderson every 6 weeks for scans, bloodwork, and meetings with my sarcoma specialist (I live in Missouri), so it’s a long drive. If i’m being honest, I’m starting to get tired of going there. All that happens is I get scanned and basically get told it’s inoperable still and they say “see you in 6 weeks!”. It is getting extremely exhausting doing this now. I’m going back tomorrow and I’m seriously not looking forward to it. Luckily, I am able to receive treatment in Missouri for now.
This past cycle, I felt the worst I ever have. I could barely walk, super weak, chest pain, nausea, and felt like I was legitimately dying. It was a surreal and indescribable feeling. I could even stand for more than two minutes.
After a few days, I kinda felt better. I decided to try and do some yard work. I have lost so much weight that I barely weigh enough to sit on the lawn mower and it dies due to safety reasons. Also, when I used the weed wacker, I was not even strong enough to get it running like I used to. By the time I finally got everything done, I was absolutely shot. Tired for the rest of the day. I slept like 15 hours after that.
I miss my old life, like every single person dealing with cancer does. I get slightly envious of my friends and kids my age having fun/not having the struggles I do. I feel I can no longer relate to anyone who isn’t a cancer patient anymore. I have even just distanced myself from everyone because of the way I look. I really just don’t want to scare anyone.
I seriously wish I could cancel my MD Anderson trip. I just need a break, something, but I know the cancer will spread, but honestly I really don’t care anymore. I have already pretty much been told i’ll be treating this chronically, which is NOT happening. I’m not doing that chemo for life b.s.
I’m getting weaker and I can feel it. People are wondering why I don’t visit or come around anymore. It’s simply because I don’t feel up to it and I really just want to be alone. I’m not going to pretend everything is fine when it’s not. Everyone keeps saying “keep fighting” and the dreaded “be positive”, but honestly I’m close to being done. This is NOT a life, for anyone. People really don’t get it at all. Why do I want to only have about one week where I feel descent?
I also had just graduated flight school and started a great job and was then diagnosed and all of it was ripped away.
I guess I’ll suck it up for this trip, but Idk how much more I can take. Some people may call me a selfish person for giving up, but sometimes the battle is over before it even starts.
Sorry for the rant, but i’m getting close to some type of breaking point. The treatment is starting to get to me physically and honestly, my heart is no longer in this like it was even a month ago.
I am probably going to have a frank talk with my oncologist about all of this.

So I recently broke my ankle and I was ordered to come back to work the following day, due to my inability to walk I called my supervisor to let her know that I would not make it in. She said that it was fine, and that accidents happen and to let her know what she could do to help. Now mind you, I have struggled at my job since I’ve been here and my supervisor says that she is always there to help me because we have seven other people on our staff to accommodate someone if something goes wrong. She told me other times before that I just needed to reach out. So because I was anxious and unsure about how my ankle was going to act from day to day and how that might affect me coming in on time on, I asked her if it would be possible if I could test students on the days where students test in the afternoon, also if I could be on the first floor to work on things to avoid a long painful commute up and down the stairs. She also said that one of my co workers would be there to help me out if I needed them to pick me up. I didn’t need that, because I can still drive, but I texted her and said that I just needed someone to potentially help me out the car and make sure I didn’t fall or slip on my way to the building. She said that it would be fine and she would fine someone else to accommodate my needs and that I would need to communicate with others about my needs. Later on that day, I get a call from one of my co workers who is in charge of overseeing testing and she tells me that regardless of my ankle condition, I needed to come in to ensure that all of the counselors test equally. She told me in order to avoid any glitches with time, that I need to wake up early and get to the testing site. My supervisor then texted me back and gave me my schedule with early testing appointments. I said okay to the both of them and said that I would try to get there as soon as possible despite my ankle trouble. The first day, I came back everything was fine. I tested my student and the day went smoothly. The second day I was there, I called to have someone help me out the car, she huffed in my ear and said I’m coming. I told her the day before that I needed to get some paperwork to complete an assignment that my supervisor wanted us to do. She said she was going to look for it and never came down with it, no big deal, I continued to work on other things. I had to leave during the afternoon to go to my doctor’s appointment, I found out I had to wear a boot. As soon as I found that out, I texted my supervisor and head of testing to let them know. They didn’t say anything major. Before I left for doctor’s appointment, I left my things on the table that I was working on to continue over on the day that I came back. Yesterday, I got to work and I could hardly walk my ankle was so much in pain, I called the coworkers that was supposed to be helping me out the car, I got sent to voicemail. So I texted my supervisor to let her know that it was going to be a while before I came in. No response. So I hobbled in the building in pain, and I saw that my things were gone from Friday when I went to my doctor’s appointment. I asked where did my things go and my other co workers went to go look for them they eventually found it in the testing room, so I asked what was I supposed to do. The testing counselor told me to wait until the student was on break. I was visibly upset, but I waited until I could get my stuff. My supervisor then text me and other coworkers about a task that still needed to be done. I texted her back personally that I had to wait until testing was over to get my stuff. No response. I started working on my things and then the two of them came up to me on each side and said that they cancelled my test that was supposed to be happening and that I could go home. I said that I was not going home and that I was capable of getting my work done here and test as long as I would be able to sit and rest my leg. I also stated that I was really confused that you would want to send me home seeing that both of them said that I needed to come to school to test regardless of my ankle condition. The counselor then stated that I could take my workload home, I said I can’t do that because it’s way too heavy to carry back and forth to my apartment on a broken ankle. They then started asking me about pain medication and my boot. I was getting angry because they were asking me these stupid questions about non relevant stuff. I then said yes in a snarky way and my supervisor got upset and said I sense attitude from you and I don’t have time for this and walked away. After I had cooled down, I wanted to continue to talk about how I felt that I was being ignored and put on low priority when all I wanted to do was come into work and help out with the tests and not get behind on stuff just to turn around and waste my time. She said that she was sorry I felt that way and pretty much walked away. Fast forward, today she texted me and put me on another early test schedule and pretty much told me to get out of the main counseling area and go back upstairs to my own office… Now I’m really upset because she’s acting trifling. I know I was wrong for getting an attitude yesterday, but you have to admit she was totally not being aware of my needs and straight up wrong for going back on her words regarding me needing help! Was I wrong or overreacting? Please let me know because even my mom is saying that she is being a hypocrite. Any feedback is welcome.

If this all wasn't enough, she blocked both my sisters on Instagram and WhatsApp (Because I once tried to reach out to her through my sisters account) . Then blocked even my friend on Instagram which doesn't even make sense cause they never even met. She only knew his name and how come she block even him 🤔. Finally, changed her Instagram name as well....... Like seriously! Yeah I tried couple of times to convince her using my other Instagram accounts and temporary number. But I am done long back. I only tried once. And went full NC. I don't even get the point of NC at my end. She is on Full NC 🤣. Even if I ever get the urge to contact, I have nothing to contact her to. And guys, I don't even know why was I throwed this badly. Like as if I am some criminal. As if I am someone who abused her or something like that. Instead, I was the one who treated her like a queen and gave my life to this relationship.
I just don't get the point of NC at this stage. I should just go all numb. Being blocked everywhere by someone I truly loved once just hurts me to the core. I had breakups before but I never did anything like this to my other exes. I never blocked them. Then why wasn't this breakup done on good terms and why was I throwed like I was some garbage after giving her my 5 months. I treated her like queen and was keen on getting married to her. I am a software engineer and getting treated like a garbage by her really hurt my feelings also ego. This scar, will live with my life forever. I hope my Lord will one day hold her accountable for the pain she caused me....... I am just lost 😞

Hello friends! I should start off by saying I have not been diagnosed with IC but this group kept coming up when I was searching for me related issues. I did see a urologist recently after having a couple smaller kidney stones found on a CT scan recently. I let the doctor know that I think I have Female Voiding Disorder / Urinary Retention. I’ve always had a pretty weak stream, often times a split stream, going pee takes a looong time and I can hear that my flow is just not as powerful and fast as other women in the public restrooms. When my bladder is really full it can take so long to get everything out, it is uncomfortable. And when I think I am finished, there is almost always a smaller second round of urine to come. It’s been like this since as long as I can remember, I’m 38 now, have had two vaginal births but this predates them.
He had me schedule for a cystoscopy today. I went in and was told it would just be a very brief outpatient procedure with topical anasthetic. But they couldn’t get the camera into my urethra at all, it is so tight 😭 and it was painful so they stopped. They want me to come back and go under general anesthesia so they can perform another one and do a urethral dilation. I am an obsessive googler and keep coming across articles and posts saying that urethral dilation has been proven to be unhelpful for women and that most women don’t have true urethral restriction. It is my understanding that the dilation may create more scar tissue and the problem will come back/be harder to address in the future.
Are there any alternative treatments for my tiny urethra that won’t let me pee comfortably? Should I see another urologist? I live in a doctor-desert so it takes months so get in to any sort of specialist.
Thank you in advance for any words of wisdom or experiences with this! 🙏

I read a lot of experiences here and I notice that most of the people that have broken up with their pwBPD a long time ago (more than a couple of months) and are still writing here and are seemingly still miserable, all share the same, they seem to hate their ex.
Of course we are not like them, so we don't see everything black or white, therefore that hate is definitely mixed with love. And I believe it is that combination of such opposite feelings for a person that screw people up.
I consider myself very lucky, I was with my exwBPD for 1.5 years before breaking up 9 days ago. I was never painted black, her splitting was mild (at least compared to some things I read here), I was being drained by her though, little by little. I was feeling miserable by the end. But I still wouldn't leave her, I still loved her so much and I was too afraid. Until she messed up badly while drunk, humiliating me. There was no going back after that. So I broke up with her. Alcohol was always my main concern.
I was miserable for the first 4 or 5 days. But I never hated her. We talked and she assumed full responsibility, she apologized, she told me how much she loves me and cares about me, how much she hates having hurt me, she told me she respects me for ending it, that anyone would have done the same.
That's not the important thing. The important thing is that after the first few days of suffering and feeling empty and lonely, for the past 4 or 5 days I have been feeling good, really good. Enjoying my freedom again, connecting with myself, making plans, enjoying my hobbies, reconnecting with friends. And yes, I do still get sad when some memories come, but I allow myself to feel the feelings and the feelings go away. I never expected this journey to become so easy so early. So here is where I come back to my main argument. It is all about hating and loving someone at the same time. That messes with your head.
I have zero hate for my exwBPD. I love her. I realized she is not the right person for me and we should never be together again. I could never have children with her, I could never marry her. I feel so sorry that she has to endure pain everyday because of her condition. I feel for her. I wish I could help her somehow, I would if I knew how, but definitely will never involved getting back together.
Maybe that's what people here should focus on. Try to understand and stop hating. It may take time for the people that were hurt the most. But I think it is the only way. BPD should not be an excuse, but BPD is hell for them, none of us know how it is to live like that, if you could turn that hate into compassion, and from there, start working on yourself, everything should be easier.
Because that's another thing. We all need to take responsibility of our own issues ourselves. In my case I am a codependent with an anxious attachment style. I understand now that I need to work on those things before getting into a relationship again, because if I don't, any relationship will fail, no matter how "normal" or "sane or "healthy" the other person is. We have issues too. All of us. Emotionally healthy people with secure attachment wouldn't normally fall for a BPS. So, we should focus on understanding why we did, and fixing it.
It's easier to hate and blame, I know. But success, in any area, is not easy. It takes hard work. And working hard on yourself is what will bring the ultimate reward.

The master of ceremonies glanced at the paper in his hand, and a glimpse of confusion showed on his face.
Something was wrong.
“And the third and last team representing Farcrest. Lowell’s Orphanage!”
Elincia clung to my arm, fear and impotence reflected in her expression. We were supposed to be called Rosebud Fencing Academy during the tournament. I clenched my jaw and glanced across the pavilion, giving [Awareness] free rein. Lord Osgiria gave me a mocking look.
I cursed. Among the nobility, everything was appearances. The fact that Farcrest had to resort to a poor orphanage for representation spoke badly about the state of affairs in the territory. The nobles around us exchanged funny looks.
“Keep your heads up. That’s our call,” I said, loud enough for the whole pavilion to hear us. If nobles thought this would weigh upon our shoulders, they were wrong.
Ilya took position by my right as the team captain, and we entered the crescent-shaped arena. The cheering died. Our magnificent uniforms didn’t fool the crowd anymore. I reached the Marquis's side and saluted the VIP box. Only after Prince Adrien started applauding did the rest of the nobles acknowledge our presence.
The commoners in the stands hesitated to cheer for us. This wasn’t a gentle world. They didn’t care about the kid’s feelings. I glanced over my shoulder. Wolf was unfazed, and Zaon moved his lips, repeating, ‘Nervous is good’ repeatedly. Firana, on the other hand, was furious.
“Tough crowd, uh?” I muttered.
“It’s only expected. Orphans don’t get good classes. There is no reason to cheer for us,” Ilya replied with a grin. “Yet.”
Did she look so mature back at the carriage?
The crowd’s attention lingered on us for an instant before the next team entered the arena. To my surprise, a single team represented the royal family: a group of cadets from the Imperial Academy. Five young cadets dressed in plain black, guided by Holst, entered the arena. The crowd came back to life. Considering the opulence of the other teams, the uniforms of the Imperial Academy cadets were disappointing. Even my group was better suited to the occasion.
Holst stood by my left, saluting the stands with a dull gesture.
“Robert Clarke, good to see you still among the living,” he greeted me with a bored tone.
His words, however, sent a shiver down my spine. Did he know assassins had tried to kill me a few days before? Captain Kiln had sworn to keep it a secret. The coincidences piled up. Holst knew about the attack and asked Lyra Jorn’s help with the library when Luzian Abei had a small army of Scholars and Scribes at his disposal. I couldn’t help but think Holst was still in contact with the culprit.
“Preceptor Holst,” I coldly greeted, my brain too busy to formulate a more wordy sentence.
“I didn’t expect to meet my former students,” he added, looking past me at Ilya and the kids. “Certainly not in these circumstances.”
I swallowed my anger. This was a golden opportunity for the orphanage. Watching the skill of the imperial cadets could help me understand why Sir Janus had been the only commoner in Farcrest to assist the Imperial Academy. Even if we lost the tournament, we could improve our chances of getting them accepted into the Imperial Academy, putting them in the same echelon as nobles.
“Do you trust the ability of your current students to win the tournament?” I asked, examining the cadet’s faces. Three humans, a half-elf, and a harpy. They didn’t seem thrilled to be part of the tournament.
Holst laughed.
“These idiots aren’t my students. These five failed their first year. If they don’t win the tournament, they will be kicked out of the Academy,” he replied, shrugging. “For failures like them, I’d say they are the favorites to win the tournament.”
A glance at the Imperial Academy team revealed their strong shoulders and steady feet. Despite the lack of fashion, they looked like trained warriors instead of pampered noble kids. Their faces had lost the roundness of childhood, and their calm demeanor and sharp eyes revealed an intense training regime. I hoped not to bump into them until the later rounds of the tournament.
Our conversation was cut short because the Osgirian teams entered the arena. First, Lord Osgiria, then Lord Nara, and finally, a man dressed as a knight, followed by a group of kids in mismatched uniforms—each one with the colors of their respective houses. Lord Osgiria stood by Holst's side and greeted the VIP box.
If Captain Kiln were right, our team would fight Lord Nara in the first round. I expected the man to be a merchant with a comically large belly. Instead, he looked like a cunning gray fox. I had to remind myself that buying a way into nobility required a skillful negotiator.
“Three teams, Lord Osgiria? You don’t seem too confident in your chances,” Holst casually said.
The Imperial Academy had to be a powerhouse within the kingdom because Lord Osgiria swallowed any snarky remark.
Lord Herran, a tall and muscular redhead dressed in full warrior attire, entered next. I remembered him from the feast—boisterous, talkative, determined. The black mana-repelling axe hung from his belt, causing my stomach to feel sick if I looked for too long. House Herran only had two teams, one led by Lord Herran himself and the other by a man who could be his twin. Only half of the team members were human; the other half were different flavors of beast folk.
More than half of the kids had bright red hair like their lord. I wondered if red hair was a dominant gene in the Herran Dukedom because the kids looked healthy. There was not a trace of the infamous Habsburg chin. They were tall and robust like their lord.
I tried to glance at the axe’s runes, but Lord Herran was too far away.
“That’s lord Herran and his army of copperhead bastards,” Holst pointed out, laughing at his joke.
I doubted that having a dozen children the same age was normal, even more so for a noble, considering how difficult succession could be. Lord Herran must’ve loved to spread his genes.
“It’s okay for him to present his… illegitimate kids in an official event like this?” I asked.
“Do you like gossip, Robert Clarke?” Holst raised an eyebrow.
“I like to be informed,” I replied.
Holst seemed satisfied with my answer.
“Lord Herran is one of the few Combat Prestige Classes in the kingdom. He has the [Conqueror] Class,” Holst replied. “It’s only natural that he can do whatever he wants. Not even the king has enough power over Lord Herran to stop his… reproductive impulses.”
I nodded. The relationship between the royal house and the great three dukedoms was more complex than I initially thought. According to the stories, Combat Prestige Classes were, in essence, one-man armies that could create whole countries around their power. I wondered what kind of monsters the royal army found in the Deep Farlands to be obliged to retreat.
After Lord Herra, Lord Gairon entered the arena. The Gairon House was arguably the second most powerful family after the royal house, and their uniforms reflected their status. The blue was rich and deep, and the gold shone under the winter sun, seemingly casting the few clouds away. The crowd yelled and cheered. It wasn’t surprising. Lord Gairon was a tall, tanned man with hair the color of ripe wheat—the perfect poster boy and leader of the anti-war faction.
“He has to go down if we want the royal faction to have a chance,” Holst said.
It suddenly hit me. Holst and I technically supported the same faction.
“Lord Gairon is also a Prestige Class?” I asked.
“A [Sacred Knight], yes. Rumor says he reached the mythic level sixty,” Holst replied. “Let’s hope their teams are more… farming inclined.”
The crowd became more tame after the three big houses made their entrance. Lord Vedras received less than half of House Gairon’s support, probably because of the tax disputes between Farcrest and the Vedras dukedom. He had brought three teams.
Duke Jorn’s presence almost caused the arena to become completely silent—Holst told me he was also a high-level Prestige Class, a Shadow Stalker.
“That sounds dangerous,” I pointed out.
“Sellen Jorn is one of the most dangerous men in the kingdom. His mere existence was enough for the king to create a whole new duchy,” Holst said. “Take an Assassin and a Shadow Fencer, mix them, double their powers, and then double them again. That’s a Shadow Stalker in a nutshell.”
I tried to imagine it. The Assassin who attacked the orphanage would have had a hard time with any class without a skill like my mana blades. I had been lucky to have a favorable matchup against him; otherwise, I might have been dead. His capacity to disable my movement was scarily effective. A man with the skills of an Assassin and a Shadow Fencer had dangerous implications.
“Prince Adrien wanted Sellen Jorn as his Master of Assassins, but he didn’t want to leave his people in the north,” Holst said. “Walls, doors, bars, locks, nothing can stop a Shadow Stalker. Only the woven barrier of several high-level Fortifiers can stop him. Or so it’s said.”
Gears turned inside my skull. I wondered if Duke Jorn was involved in the disappearance of the evidence of Raudhan’s poisoning. He certainly had the skill to move unnoticed through the Great Hall. Stealing a box with shards of glass would be a walk in the park for him.
The rest of the teams passed in a blur as my mind reviewed the party's events. Sellen Jorn was undoubtedly suspicious. His lack of presence was as unnerving as it was useful for an infiltration mission. Could he be involved in Raudhan’s poisoning? Lord Vedras had denied the existence of any co-conspirators, and we were almost entirely sure that Raudhan hadn’t been poisoned by Ashroot.
Duke Jorn's political positioning was hard to determine. The northern dukedoms were poor, and just like Farcrest, they served as a bulwark against the Monster Surges. Four families controlled most of the kingdom’s economy and politics. House Gairon, House Herran, House Osgiria, and the Royal Family. The northern dukedoms didn’t benefit from the current trade routes and wouldn’t directly benefit from a new trade route into the Kingdom of Tagabiria.
However, they would benefit from a closer relationship with the royal family.
Duke Jorn had no reason to poison Captain Kiln.
Ilya tugged the sleeve of my jacket, bringing me back to the present. The master of ceremonies was finishing a long speech about the legacy of Stephaniss of Farcrest, the previous lord of the city and the Marquis's grandfather. Even the Marquis seemed bored.
“Prince Adrien will draw the matches for the first round!” The master of ceremonies announced.
Prince Adrien came forward, and an assistant brought a glass bowl filled with small wooden rods. He put his hand in the bowl, picked one randomly, and passed it to his companion. The woman dressed in purple read it out loud, her voice magically amplified. Her pleasant contralto voice made me think she was a singer.
“House Nara versus…” she received the second wooden rod. “Lowell’s Orphanage!”
Just like Captain Kiln had warned me.
I didn’t expect us to be the opening fight. The other teams returned to the pavilion, and a group of Scribes carried the System Shrine Shard embedded in its copper nest to the center of the arena. I assumed it was there to ensure all participants met the requirements for the tournament.
“Let’s go, team,” I said.
We formed next to the Shrine Shard and in front of Lord Nara’s team. The master of ceremonies activated the blue orb, and the kids' names, classes, and levels appeared before us. Luckily, Lord Nara and I were exempt from the crystal ability. Being outed as a Runeweaver wasn’t part of my plans.
Belya Nara, Geomancer Lv.3
Arel Nara, Warrior Lv.5
Lino, Soldier Lv.9
Jan, Archer Lv.3
Aiwin, Courier Lv.7
Firana Aias, Wind Fencer Lv.1
Ilya, Hunter Lv.2
Zaon, Classless Lv.1
Wolf, Classless Lv.1
The System prompts might have been big enough for the crowd to read because a murmur rose from the stands. I didn’t need [Awareness] to understand the commotion. Half of my team was classless in a world where Classes were everything. Lord Nara also seemed to notice the discrepancy between our teams.
“I’m feeling generous today, Mister Caretaker. I will gladly accept your surrender and spare you the embarrassment if you apologize for wasting our time,” Lord Nara said with a mellow, totally fake voice. “You can save the kids the shame of losing in front of their countrymen.”
The master of ceremonies looked at me.
“What do you think, Ilya?” I asked.
“The team is ready, Mister Clarke. We fight,” she replied without any hint of doubt.
Despite Lord Nara’s clever expression, he was underestimating us. I couldn’t blame him. He had lived all his life in a world where value was determined by class and level. Developing an eye for people wasn’t as helpful as on Earth, where it could mean the difference between life and death.
“We fight,” I said.
“Don’t say I didn’t extend the courtesy of an honorable withdrawal,” Lord Nara grinned, his fox-like eyes turned into thin lines.
The master of ceremonies nodded.
“The Rules are simple. The team that loses the coin toss has to choose its first fighter, and then the winning team chooses its opponent. Then, the roles change. Every team has two picks and two counter picks, for a total of four fighters,” the master of ceremonies explained, pulling a gold coin from the pocket.
I nodded. There was a level of strategy involved in the pairing phase. I could pair Firana against their weakest member to ensure a vast point difference. Or I could choose Zaon to keep things equalized. If I were Lord Nara, I would leave the Lv.7 Courier outside the selection. As fast as they were, they weren’t a combatant Class, but on the other hand, even non-combatants could develop useful masteries.
Zaon had a good matchup against the Soldier and the Warrior, as their combat skills were on the ‘basic’ side of the spectrum. However, the Archer, the Geomancer, and the Courier could present a problem to him. Wolf also had a bad matchup against the Archer and the Geomancer because he relied on solid and static positioning to use his muscles. Ilya and Firana had good matchups against the enemy team, but the enemy Geomancer worried me the most. She wasn’t just an Advanced Class, but a relative of Lord Nara.
“Here goes the coin,” the master of ceremonies said. He threw it high and caught it mid-flight.
Lord Nara kindly offered me the call.
“Heads,” I replied with a grin.
“Heads,” the master of ceremonies said, revealing the coin.
[Awareness] didn’t disappoint, but I made a mental note to keep it hidden from Ilya. She wouldn’t be on board with blatant cheating, even if we had the disadvantage. As cunning as Ilya was, strategy and cheats were completely different.
Lord Nara huffed. “Lino, you go first.”
The Soldier kid stepped forward. He was tall, probably a year older than my kids, but [Awareness] told me he was nervous. Soldier Class was painfully close to no class at all.
“Zaon, you go first. Is that okay with you?” I said, hoping the combination of Light-Footed and Lv.2 Longsword Mastery would match a Lv.9 Soldier with a couple of skills under his sleeve.
Zaon nodded.
It was my turn to choose and Lord Nara’s turn to counter-pick. “Ilya, you go second,” I said.
Ilya came forward, prompting a laugh from the rival Fighter.
“Do you want to fight the gnome, Arel?” Lord Nara asked.
“Yes, my lord. I’m confident I can get a ten-point lead over a Gnome Hunter,” Arel Nara replied.
A vein popped on Ilya’s forehead.
“Good. I chose my cousin Arel Nara for the second fight,” Lord Nara said.
Then, Lord Nara selected the Archer boy for the third fight, which put me in a tough spot. The Archer and the Geomancer were hard matchups for Wolf, and I lacked a fifth or sixth member to play around it. Nonetheless, the Archers weren’t known for their vast arsenal of skills.
“Wolf, you go against him,” I said.
Wolf nodded.
“Which leaves us with the last pair,” Lord Nara said with a mocking smile.
“Firana, you go last,” I said.
“Belya, my daughter, will be my last pick,” Lord Nara replied.
The dueling pairs were ready.
“So be it. The tournament's first match will be between Lino the Soldier and Zaon the Elf,” the master of ceremonies said, his voice suddenly amplified again as the Scribes took the System Shrine orb away. “Contestants, please go get your equipment. May the System bless you all.”
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Hello everyone. I had my hip labral tear with 2 anchors and FAI removal surgery last year in march. I had some clicking in my hip after a surgery and some pain here and there, but nothing too crazy. Started biking seriously after a new year. A month ago i was doing some heavy deadlifting and squatting in the same week and felt some catching in the other hip at the evening. I tried to stretch out my hip flexors and probably pushed too hard and next day after knees over toes aggressive stretching my operated hip never felt okay. Its been better and worse and today the amplitude in my left hip is almost gone at 90 degree flexion, but if i flex my hip higher it comes back. I cant access my surgeon for another month, what could be the reason for this flare up to happen and if any of you had anything similar please let me know how and if you've dealt with it. Cheers

Edit: To clarify I am talking about the raid release not cheesing Riven in Pantheon. Just a random thought I just had at 3 am like we all do. I joined the game a few months after the raid released and never bothered to do it for a while as I wasn't into raiding and by the time I did everyone was using the cheese. I did watch the painful datto vod of his day one run a while back and for some reason I just had the question... If the players somehow did find out about the Riven cheese back during the release was the damage meta back then strong enough that it would allow the players to pull it off? The damage meta has now evolved a lot allowing for several options for high dps but I wonder if it would've even been possible back then.l Any veteran who can maybe recall?

I have been on Mounjaro and then Zepbound since Aug 2022. I lost 50 lbs 22% of my body weight. I was in maintenance mode on 10mg. In Feb 2024, I got really sick with the flu and pneumonia and was off for almost 4 weeks. I took 3 rounds of antibiotics and a burst dose of prednisone. Then went back on to 10mg. Since then it is like the medication has completely stopped working for me. Over two months I gained 10 lbs despite keeping my calories and diet the same. The food noise and cravings are there with no satiety. I moved up a dose. I do Pilates 3x week and walk and exercise 3-4x week. Nothing! My doctor is an Osteopath and said she can feel the inflammation returning to my tissue. All my aches and pains are back. It’s so alarming. Anyone else experience this? My doctor suggested taking a hiatus to let my receptors and body reset but Im terrified of the inflammation and weight gain. I was insulin resistant with an A1C of 5.4 when I started. Down to 4.8 after weight loss. Now at 5.0. My blood inflammation markers are normal but my body just hurts.

Hi! What other diagnostic testing should be requested? I’m having a very hard time being taken seriously by my last few PCPs and am trying to push for further specialist referrals and tests. I have been very dismissed and feeling crazy. I even sought a psychiatrist thinking maybe all this was in my head after all and they have supported me in continuing to push for answers because I am in fact not crazy lol.
I’ve had the following done and come back normal, but wondering if there is anything else my PCP should check before ruling out lupus definitively.
Came back normal-
CBC, metabolic panels repeated 2021-2024
2022- ANA
2024- rheumatoid factor Cyclic certificates peptide DNA DS antibody Chromatin neucleosomal antibody Complement components c3c and c4c Sed rate by modified westergren Complete abdomenal ultrasound Vitamin D, B12, Iron, Ferritin
Came back abnormal- 2022-2024 antiphospholipid antibodies B2 glycoprotein IGM high
2024- head mri with/ without contrast- few white matter lesions and scarring
2023- HLA- DQ8 genetic variant confirmed
I’ve got a whole host of symptoms that are both lupus and other auto immune specific. These include: Brain fog Extreme fatigue Memory issues Intermittent Butterfly and raised skin rash Feeling like I’m sunburnt even after only a few minutes outside Intermittent hearing issues Intermittent balance/ coordination issues Severe skin breakouts, digestive issues Constant illness Joint pain Swollen sore hands Numbness and tingling hands and feet Bladder retention and emptying issues Choking/ swallowing issues, chronic cough Pinpoint burning or itching sensation Since I was young, but now increasing again: “aura” like migraine or seizure aura without any headache or obvious seizure activity. Only other way I can explain this is “Alice in wonderland syndrome” (see fastfeeling)
My doctor has questioned SLE, MS but not really super conclusively. I also have wondered if celiac could be a factor but was informed after ANA testing that I may not have been eating gluten in my diet long enough for it to show other than the genetic test (usually avoid gluten by chance). I also have not yet heard back from my PCP on the results of the MRI- these findings were taken directly from the report uploaded in my patient portal. My family history is questionable as my mom was adopted, no one in my family really goes to the dr. Only Cancers and brain tumors have been confirmed. The most troublesome issues as of late are the cognitive issues and my hearing going out. It’s a few minutes or a few hours one ear at a time, pressure and muffled hearing. Any thoughts are appreciated, as I am exhausted

Hi all, My horse is just an anxious mess. He was started at 14 (is 16 now) after being left in a dry lot paddock alone for a long time, and having never left his breeders property before I bought him at 14. He's a sweet sweet boy, but sooooo anxious. A lot of it is separation anxiety, but in ways I'm not used to dealing with.
He's not sour to one horse or his herd mates, he's sour to any horses and most humans too. If I pull him from his pasture and we go to the grooming stall and never interact with another horse or person, he's completely fine. BUT, if another horse is in the grooming stall next to him and leaves, he's neighing, pacing in the crossties, pawing, dancing. Humans he's not as bad with but he still gets anxious when left alone. It doesn't matter if he's with the other horse 20 seconds or 20 minutes, it's the same response.
I took him to one fun show just to see how he'd do. He only walk/sorta trotted one class just for fun, and the rest of the weekend I would ride him or lunge him a bit just to see how he'd do with the show life. Keep in mind We're mostly hunters/dressage and this was a barrel race (I'm a show photographer and was working this show, and so that's why I brought him to it). When out in the warmup alone he would neigh and call for other horses but still mostly listen, but if there were other horses in the arena he'd slam to the end of the lunge line to be closer to them. For the class, I walked straight past the horses in the holding pen and went in without stopping, but after the second barrel he was refusing to turn to the third and was dancing and side-stepping back to the gate. I had ridden him in the show arena twice already, and generally he's not crazy spooky, so it wasn't anything scaring him, he just wanted back to the other horses that again, he hasn't met, sniffed, hardly even glanced at. I had to get off and lead him to the third barrel. Once I'm off he's completely fine. Still nervous but doesn't protest or try and turn back to the other horses. We redid the class at the end (again just for fun/learning) and he tried the same thing, but this time I was able to get him moving towards the third and we finished the pattern.
When riding at home (or anywhere) he gets freaked out by traffic. If a horse rides towards/past him he dances and swings his hind end out and can't focus. If they're moving the same direction as him he;s fine.
I'm just at a loss. Nothing I do seems to make him less anxious. I've worked with other anxious horses but he's just different. I've even tried calming medication at a barn show and a CBD calming liquid at the barrel race and it made zero difference. He IS still green due to a situation that paused his training for 8 months. I don't even care if he can't show, but this happens at home, away from home, anywhere, He doesn't even seem to have pasture friends. He gets chased away to the point I supplement his feed bc the herd doesn't let him eat enough in my mind. And he's SUCH a good boy. I never feel unsafe on him. He takes care of his rider as best he can while being SO anxiety-driven, and will try anything at least once. Other than puddles (his true kryptonite) this one thing is his biggest holdup to being a near perfect horse.
Has anyone worked with a horse that's similar? Any tips? I've been looking at the TRT method but it's pricey and right now I just can't swing it.

Me 40m have wanted to kill myself since I was a little kid. Never felt like anyone loved me… didn’t really feel like my parents loved me they both vastly prefer their other kid from their other marriages much more than me. I was always just kind of in the way, wanting any attention, and just cried it out I guess. Get through school, somehow didn’t kms then. Changed schools too many times never had lasting friends, still felt like I was just used and tolerated by everyone in my life anyways.
More time, out of school, get married to my wife and have my son. The years were fine I thought, I thought we were living how normal people do, ups and downs. 15 years in, my wife flips on me, lies to my face day after day, acted like a totally different person, cheats on me multiple times, used me for money, and we get a divorce. It was terrible, wish I wasn’t born to avoid how much it hurt.
I never had someone in my life to talk to, never really thought anyone gave a shit about me until her. The betrayal and her just flipping on me, 15 years of this world, fighting together against it with her. I thought we were a good team. Other people would also comment on our relationship saying it seemed healthier and better than most. I felt the same.
Suddenly treating me like an enemy out of nowhere was so confusing and painful. She had devices logged in that she forgot that enabled me to see the full extent of it all, long after she moved out I watched them. It was awful. It’s all I think about and it was so bad. The one person I thought cared about me somehow orchestrated the most painful thing that I’ve ever felt. Nobody has hurt me and betrayed me so much, not even close.
Skip a few years and we are back together. She has apologized and owned up to it all, said it wasn’t me, that she was crazy and in the worst mental health state she had ever experienced. She seems genuine and treats me better than I deserve. But that doesn’t make sense, nobody can be that cruel without motive. The damage is done. I would have already made quick use of my gun on myself but I can’t do that to my son?
It’s been like 2 years back together, I don’t really know how many years honestly because it just runs together because all I do is think and hurt. I am not even working anymore but our financial situation is fine because of her. I am so tired of hurting every day because of it. She destroyed something inside me, that we made together, and I can tell it can’t be fixed or replaced. It was unique and irreplaceable. It’s all I think about. I am permanently hurting, just feeling betrayal and gut wrenching pain every day as the details of the torture replay in my mind daily. Some days are better than others but I want 0 days remembering she destroyed our family just to have sex with a handful of randos, some while still living at home with me and our son.
It hurts so much, I consider myself to be a complete piece of garbage but I honestly can’t even blame myself for what she did. Years later I’m still so confused why she had to hurt me so much. I just want to die. I would rather everyone think I disappeared randomly off because I imagine my son and parents would deal with it better. Better they hate me than feel like I abandoned them and gave up or whatever.
If we are back together now and everything seems perfect, I would have expected the pain to fade but it isn’t. I would really like to stop. There are so many days I hide that her old bullshit isn’t all I’m thinking about. There’s no reason for me to complain about it anymore, I obviously can’t get over it. It’s just beating a dead horse and I don’t know wtf she can even do about it at this point. She’s done everything she can I think. Seems like there’s nothing to do but end it. I’m so tired of hurting and constantly trying to figure out why she did all the things she did. I feel like it’s unfair that I can’t just kill myself. Everyone says it gets better or don’t let someone have that control over you. I am tired of waking up thinking about it and then trying to sleep and being tortured all night. 40 years is enough. I wish there was a god because he would let me die in my sleep. I want to point out I love her, our son, and my parents very much. I’m just tired.

I am a parent of a troubled teen and this is my first post on Reddit. I registered for an account, just to make this post.
About three months ago, I found a post on Reddit discussing Red Hawk Academy in Littlefield, Arizona and it made me so angry I posted a response.
You can find the original posting at troubledteens Beetlejuicenewton.
Here was my written response to the original post:
"This comment is absolutely inaccurate and incorrect. My daughter has been there for months. I speak to her every week and we exchange letters throughout the week. This is the third program, she has been in and hands down the best program. You should not make accusations when you are not the parent and not actively involved in the program. I highly recommend this program. The staff are incredible and have helped my daughter tremendously. To all parents out there, call the school and ask to speak to Valerie. I have told Valerie that I will gladly speak to any parents who are interested in the school. This program has saved my daughter.) and was utterly shocked about what was being said about Red Hawk Academy."
Not understanding how social media works (in this case Reddit), I did not know that one's opinion can be removed from a site if the comment is contrary to the original post.
After posting this comment, I received an email from Reddit that my post had been removed and I was banned from the conversation. It took me awhile to calm down, but now I am in a place where I create a thoughtful post discussing my life with a troubled daughter and our experience with RHA.
Unlike the troubledteens Beetlejuicenewton post, I will not ban individuals who disagree with me.
This is my story...
In 2020, I started to notice a difference in my daughter who was 13 years old. I started to see a shift in her behavior. She was being inappropriate while on the internet, hanging out with troubled kids, and being very unkind to her family members. She started to lie, which turned into chronic lying. She started to get mad and hit her head into the wall. She never hit her head hard enough to receive a concussion, but it did get our attention. One day, I sat her down to discuss her behavior and took her phone. When I opened the phone, she had a screensaver that was a short clip of 2 toddlers being hit by a car. When I asked her why she had this as her screensaver, she said she thought it was funny.
Fast forward a couple of months....she was in therapy that was completely useless. She managed to make a handful of the therapist cry or get really upset. My daughter seemed to find humor in upsetting others. Her lack of empathy was beyond scary. She continued to hit her head into the wall every time she was upset. She then threatened to hurt herself, but it seemed to be more of a threat than anything else.
Fast forward three years...from the age of 15 to 16....she tried to "kill" herself twice (actually didn't really hurt herself, but it did get her into the hospital), hospital dependent (always wanted to be admitted to the hospital), suspended from school for inappropriate behavior (my daughter and her boyfriend were making out at lunch with hands down each others' pants), shoplifted (she shoplifted back-to-back days and took her little brother with her to provide cover), unprotected sex (I only found out because she thought she was pregnant), lying all of the time (she forgot how to tell the truth), cutting herself and still hitting her head into the wall, treated her little brother like crap (he would come to me crying, and tell me that he just wanted a "normal" sister), experimented with drugs (she only told me because she was feeling off and was scared), allowed strangers on the internet watch her sleep)....the list goes on and on.
This all happened within the timespan of 1 year! She was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder. (For parents with daughters who have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, there is a great book I found on Amazon - When you Daughter has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder by Daniel S. Lobel, PhD.)
Our family finally hit the breaking point. My husband and I were fighting all of the time, my son was so upset about his sister's behavior, and I was on the verge of having a breakdown. I cried all of the time and was so very sad about what was happening to my daughter.
We decided that we needed to send her some place. We could not manage her and she needed more help than we could provide. We sent her to a wilderness camp in Utah that came highly recommended by our therapist. I was scared to send her there, but I did not know what else to do. During her time at the wilderness camp, we had a neuropsychological assessment conducted, which resulted in an autism diagnosis. While she was slightly on the spectrum, it was clear that her behavior was driven by her borderline personality disorder. Within 5 weeks at the facility, we were advised that she was not a good fit for the program and we needed to find a therapeutic boarding school for her.
The wilderness program recommended a therapeutic boarding school in Oregon. We enrolled her in this program. She was a hot mess...she would not get out of bed and refused to go to school. She starting hitting her head into the wall (again), which the staff would not stop because the facility was a "no touch" facility, and the staff would just attempt to "redirect" her. She would punch and kick walls. Within 4 weeks of being at the school, the school called us and told us that we needed to immediately come pick her up because she was threatening to harm the staff members.
We felt desperate and full of despair. We did not know where to turn. We found the one and only program that has helped her....RED HAWK ACADEMY.
I initially called and spoke to Valerie. She and her husband, Sonny, own the school. Instantly, I felt heard and understood. During that initial conversation it came up that the school had received a reputation (not at the school's request) as the school that would take the girls that were kicked out of other programs. When I was filling out the paperwork (which is required for all programs), I got nervous because I had to sign a form that provided RHA with temporary guardianship. I prayed that this would not backfire on me. Unlike the other schools, RHA could restrain the girls when absolutely necessary. People instantly make accusations when the word "restraint" is involved in programs. What people do not understand, and unless you are in the unfortunate situation where you have a kid like my daughter, programs that restrain are absolutely essential. My daughter continually hurts herself and I need someone to stop her.
We dropped my daughter off at the school and hoped (with all of the hope we had left), that RHA would help our daughter. Programs, like RHA, are designed to help troubled kids. By no means, is this a vacation for your daughter or a break from the real world. My daughter tried everything she could to get kicked out of the program. She went so far as to orchestrate a fight with another student so they could both be kicked out. Unfortunately for her (and fortunately for us), she had consequences none of which involved removal from the school.
I have been so scared that we could not find help for her and that she would end up on the street when she turns 18 and most likely would end up homeless, uneducated, and in prison.
My daughter has been at RHA for 6 months and she is now at the point where therapy can begin. She has been so combative and defiant that it took 6 months for her to realize that she was not going anywhere and the only way she would leave the school was to complete the program.
While there have been good and many bad days, I am finally seeing a version of my sweet daughter. The daughter who used to hold my hand and tell me she loved me. For parents who are struggling, know that there are parents who understand your pain, understand the feeling of being out control, and understand how you become unsure of yourself (and your parenting skills). Just remember that you can change the trajectory of your daughter's life by getting her the help she needs. Welcome the opportunity to send her to a therapeutic school, like RHA, where she can get the helps she needs.
Thank you for reading this ridiculously long post, and I hope you can find some peace in knowing that are safe, supportive programs that can help your daughter!
I am going to write another post that specifically discusses RHA. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.
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I am so sorry if this seems like a dumb question or this is not the best place to ask, but the question is eating me alive. Years ago, after not having my period for 2 months I made a pregnancy test at home. The result was positive. I was on the pill but didn't take it every day so efficacy was in question. First month of no menstruation I thought it was stress, second month did the test. I was terrified and didn't went to a doctor. A couple days after making the test while I was still freaking out I had a sharp abdominal pain and started to bleed heavily. I promised myself if it got worse I would risk it and go to a hospital. That was not the case. The bleeding stopped during the next day but the pain remained even if not as strong as before. I stayed a couple days in bed and basically got back to a normal life. I was still terrified not knowing what to do, no support so I just tried to pretend nothing happened. That included continuing on the pill because if I stopped someone would notice and there would be serious trouble, I was in a bad situation. In the next months my menstruation came back on the days of interval in the pill. The question is eating me alive: was that probably a false positive or I was pregnant and miscarriaged?
What would be your opinion on this? Is there a way of a doctor to confirm years later what happened for sure? Some exam or something?

I have a 5 week old that’s been home from the NICU for just under 2 weeks. In the NICU, a main area of focus was feeding and reflux. Since we’ve been home, it seems our little one has been inconsolable with gas pain. We use the slowest flow nipple in the bottles that we can. He also breastfeeds as of recently. We try and burp him (often struggle to do so effectively) and try to keep him upright after eating, but it’s hard to do at night when you just wanna go back to sleep.
There are times this poor kid is writhing, moaning, and crying while passing gas. I feel so bad, he must be so uncomfortable 😔. Is there anything else we can do??? He seems to pass it just fine, but is very miserable in the process