A funny names for a lawyer
Name Nerds
2013.06.21 19:10 Name Nerds
A community for those interested in names. Your posts are welcome so long as they stay on the topic of names and remain civil
2014.01.27 10:57 tilnewstuff ...where jokes go to die
A place for stuff that was supposed to be funny, but isn't
2008.07.08 21:19 r/Denmark
A forum for discussions, funny tidbits and news about Denmark and the Danes.
2024.04.29 06:56 blistboy Wicked is a ONLY a prequel to the 1939 film (**not Baum's book**)
*Note: I am not a copyright lawyer, I'm not any kind of lawyer, nor am I making an accusation that anyone or any entity is infringing on the copyright or trademark of any other entities. That being said…
I have a theory that Wicked -- both Maguire's novel (Wicked: the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, 1995) and more so the musical (Wicked, 2003 Universal Stage Productions) -- solely functions as a prequel to the 1939 MGM film the Wizard of Oz (now owned by WB), and not that film's public domain source novel the Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. Let me explain...
Maguire wrote Wicked in 1994 in response to the Gulf War. His clever use of Oz characters passed scrutiny during publication in 1995 under parody and fair use laws, and because the Baum novel had long been in the public domain… as well as Ted Turner arranging to sell the MGM catalog to WB, circa 1997, making the timing ideal for Maguire's novel to skirt any copyright/trademark scrutiny for using elements from the non-public domain film.
We know what happened next, the book was a raging success and soon it was popular enough to be optioned by Universal and turned into a stage musical produced (after film & TV productions with Demi Moore and Salma Hayek separately attached failed to materialize). The musical opened first in San Francisco for try-outs and then Broadway in 2003. And writers Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman liberally peppered even more direct homages and winks to the 1939 film into leitmotifs and other elements of the book, score, and staging.
But, Wicked has TOO many elements from the 1939 film, and NOT ENOUGH from Baum's original book, to merit it being called a prequel to the book (this is also true of Disney’s 2013 admitted attempt to cash-in on Wicked’s success, Oz: the Great and Powerful – which is even more egregious than Wicked, and ironic, as its own title is directly lifted from the 1939 film misquote of the book’s moniker of “Oz the Great and Terrible”).
---
So now, let's look at some of key differences between the book the Wonderful Wizard of Oz (WWoOZ) and its film adaption from 1939, and how Wicked (and that Disney rip-off - though I don’t want to have to keep mentioning that movie so just assume most of what I say applies there too) reinterprets these events and characters:
- In the book WWoOz it is established that there are four cardinal witches in the land of Oz. Dorothy vanquishes two unrelated Wicked Witches in the East (WWotE) and West (WWotW) as well as encountering the benevolent unnamed good witch of the North at the start of her adventure and a separate good witch, Glinda of the South, who helps her home in the end. MGM condensed the good witches into one character “Glinda the Good Witch of the North” as well as adding a subplot turning the Wicked Witches into sisters (providing Margaret Hamilton’s Witch more direct motivation to pursue Judy Garland’s Dorothy via the Witch’s presumed right to collateral inheritance of her sister’s shoes). Both Maguire and Disney follow the 1939 film’s continuity regarding these relationships making the wicked witches siblings, and Glinda the sole “good witch” in opposition to them.
-WWotW as depicted in Baum’s novel bears little to no resemblance to the green-skinned Margaret Hamilton in the 1939 film, and subsequently Maguire’s Elphaba. Oz illustrator W. W. Denslow, whom Baum worked closely with when designing the characters, depicts the witch as a hunched old hag with three pigtails and an eyepatch, tall brimmed hat, ruffed collar, coat and skirt. While MGM’s design team, led by legendary costumer Adrian, initially tested several looks for WWotW (including a glamorous sequined look inspired by Disney’s Evil Queen in Snow White). MGM screenwriter, Herman Mankiewicz (who expanded the role of the wicked witch from book to screenplay, and wrote several key lines for her including, “I’ll get you my pretty!”) insisted "witches should be ugly!" And Margaret Hamilton’s Witch was given green skin to broadcast her “wickedness” as well as make her face and hands stand-out against her black medieval gown, cloak and sharp brimmed hat. Needless to say this film only element of green-skin becomes a major plot point of Wicked. And Susan Hilferty’s stage designs for Elphaba retain the 1939 film’s silhouette and dark color palette.
-Another difference in Baum’s WWotW is that she only had one eye, but that it "was as powerful as a telescope", and this is how she spies on her enemies. MGM was again inspired by Snow White's Queen, and popular imagery of fortune tellers, giving Hamilton’s Witch the ability to scry in a large crystal ball, which made for some of the most memorable visuals of the film, of her looming eerily over the heroes. Unlike Baum’s WWotW, Maguire’s Elphaba retains vision in both eyes, and inherits her film counterpart's scrying abilities (primarily using a blown-glass orb).
-Baum’s WWotW importantly carries an umbrella, not a broomstick, as a source of protection for her aquaphobia. She has no need for transportation, her location is limited to her castle in the West of Oz. MGM’s script, howvever, gave Hamilton’s Witch a means of transportation that had long been popular in witch mythology, a broomstick, involving her more directly in the narrative (as well as giving the Wizard a macguffin to send Dorothy after). Maguire also chose to make a broomstick a means of travel for Elphaba, and Stephen Schwartz's “Defying Gravity”, the centerpiece of the musical, which sees a scene not included in the novel, where Elphaba defiantly flies over the Emerald City in protest of the Wizard, cemented the broom’s icon status within the framework of the Wicked franchise.
-The Flying Monkeys in Baum’s novel have a rich backstory involving their enslavement at the hands of a sorceress named Gaylette. The monkeys’ terms of imprisonment require they obey three commands given by whomever possess a Golden Cap, which the WWotW owns and uses to capture Dorothy and her friends. Dorothy comes into possession of the Golden Cap after WWotW’s demise (similar to her inheriting the slippers) and is able to command the monkeys to her own benefit later in the book. The Golden Cap subplot was scrapped from the MGM film in favor of giving the witch a more ambiguous command over her uniformed simian air force (though it still appears in the final cut as a prop tossed by Hamilton's Witch to Nikko, the flying monkey). Maguire’s Wicked makes no mention of Baum’s golden cap, giving Elphaba a monkey factotum, similar to MGM’s Nikko, now called Chistrey. The monkeys are given a vivisection backstory in Maguire's novel and are a result of the Grimmerie’s levitation spell in the musical, but Elphaba’s willful command of the their legions, without the limitations of the Golden Cap, is much more reminiscent of MGM’s Witch than Baum’s.
-Famously the slippers Dorothy inherits from the WWotE in Baum’s novel are made of silver metal (sterling silver shoes were popular as decorations and sugar bowls in Baum's day). The Slippers in the 1939 film were famously changed to ruby, so as to be more eye-catching against the technicolor yellow road. After some initial designs, MGM designer Adrian landed on the iconic red sequined pump seen in the film. Maguire’s novel, utilizing the film’s sibling backstory to motivate Elphaba, makes the famous pair of slippers into a sentimental pair of shoes adorned with beaded glass, in the musical referred to as "jeweled", which refract multiple colors, notably ruby red. Susan Hilferty’s choice of silver sequined pumps for the musical, given a red special lighting cue at a crucial moment, distinctly resemble Adrian’s 1939 design.
-Dorothy is a young child of roughly seven or eight years old in Baum’s novel and its illustrations. In Maguire’s take on the character she is depicted as a husky teenager prone to cloying musical outbursts. Teenage Judy Garland was famously derided at MGM for her weight, especially filming Oz, with Louis Mayor allegedly calling her his “little hunchback”.
-The Wizard appears as multiple facades in Baum’s novel; a giant head, ball of fire, glamorous woman, and monstrous beast. In the 1939 film the extent of his deception is the use of a giant head, similarly he only appears as a looming head in Wicked.
-But what I find most telling is that none of the witches in Baum’s novel directly interact with one another (later novels in the Oz series withstanding). The famous confrontation between the two witches in Munchkinland was entirely a fabrication of the 1939 film’s screenwriters. The musical’s entire premise, and a large portion of the novel’s, relies on the idea that these two opposing witches shared some past which informs their conflict in that scene, but that moment is solely a product of the 1939 film.
---
I think the way Maguire skirted copyright is incredibly clever and certainly well within fair-use (and probably long past any statute-of-limitations for any kind of damages sought by WB), but I find it wild that such a popular franchise as Wicked has basically used legal gray areas to bring a rainbow of color to Oz, all while claiming use of public domain versions of characters, and clearly mining the trademarked versions of those characters for most of their inspiration.
TL;DR Wicked does not function as a prequel to the book by L. Frank Baum, but only serves as a prequel to the 1939 film, starring Judy Garland. This is evident because the Witch in Baum's book isn't green, doesn't ride a broom, only has one eye, no sister, and never interacts with Glinda (who is an amalgamation of two separate characters).
submitted by blistboy to wicked [link] [comments]
I have a theory that Wicked -- both Maguire's novel (Wicked: the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, 1995) and more so the musical (Wicked, 2003 Universal Stage Productions) -- solely functions as a prequel to the 1939 MGM film the Wizard of Oz (now owned by WB), and not that film's public domain source novel the Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. Let me explain...
Maguire wrote Wicked in 1994 in response to the Gulf War. His clever use of Oz characters passed scrutiny during publication in 1995 under parody and fair use laws, and because the Baum novel had long been in the public domain… as well as Ted Turner arranging to sell the MGM catalog to WB, circa 1997, making the timing ideal for Maguire's novel to skirt any copyright/trademark scrutiny for using elements from the non-public domain film.
We know what happened next, the book was a raging success and soon it was popular enough to be optioned by Universal and turned into a stage musical produced (after film & TV productions with Demi Moore and Salma Hayek separately attached failed to materialize). The musical opened first in San Francisco for try-outs and then Broadway in 2003. And writers Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman liberally peppered even more direct homages and winks to the 1939 film into leitmotifs and other elements of the book, score, and staging.
But, Wicked has TOO many elements from the 1939 film, and NOT ENOUGH from Baum's original book, to merit it being called a prequel to the book (this is also true of Disney’s 2013 admitted attempt to cash-in on Wicked’s success, Oz: the Great and Powerful – which is even more egregious than Wicked, and ironic, as its own title is directly lifted from the 1939 film misquote of the book’s moniker of “Oz the Great and Terrible”).
---
So now, let's look at some of key differences between the book the Wonderful Wizard of Oz (WWoOZ) and its film adaption from 1939, and how Wicked (and that Disney rip-off - though I don’t want to have to keep mentioning that movie so just assume most of what I say applies there too) reinterprets these events and characters:
- In the book WWoOz it is established that there are four cardinal witches in the land of Oz. Dorothy vanquishes two unrelated Wicked Witches in the East (WWotE) and West (WWotW) as well as encountering the benevolent unnamed good witch of the North at the start of her adventure and a separate good witch, Glinda of the South, who helps her home in the end. MGM condensed the good witches into one character “Glinda the Good Witch of the North” as well as adding a subplot turning the Wicked Witches into sisters (providing Margaret Hamilton’s Witch more direct motivation to pursue Judy Garland’s Dorothy via the Witch’s presumed right to collateral inheritance of her sister’s shoes). Both Maguire and Disney follow the 1939 film’s continuity regarding these relationships making the wicked witches siblings, and Glinda the sole “good witch” in opposition to them.
-WWotW as depicted in Baum’s novel bears little to no resemblance to the green-skinned Margaret Hamilton in the 1939 film, and subsequently Maguire’s Elphaba. Oz illustrator W. W. Denslow, whom Baum worked closely with when designing the characters, depicts the witch as a hunched old hag with three pigtails and an eyepatch, tall brimmed hat, ruffed collar, coat and skirt. While MGM’s design team, led by legendary costumer Adrian, initially tested several looks for WWotW (including a glamorous sequined look inspired by Disney’s Evil Queen in Snow White). MGM screenwriter, Herman Mankiewicz (who expanded the role of the wicked witch from book to screenplay, and wrote several key lines for her including, “I’ll get you my pretty!”) insisted "witches should be ugly!" And Margaret Hamilton’s Witch was given green skin to broadcast her “wickedness” as well as make her face and hands stand-out against her black medieval gown, cloak and sharp brimmed hat. Needless to say this film only element of green-skin becomes a major plot point of Wicked. And Susan Hilferty’s stage designs for Elphaba retain the 1939 film’s silhouette and dark color palette.
-Another difference in Baum’s WWotW is that she only had one eye, but that it "was as powerful as a telescope", and this is how she spies on her enemies. MGM was again inspired by Snow White's Queen, and popular imagery of fortune tellers, giving Hamilton’s Witch the ability to scry in a large crystal ball, which made for some of the most memorable visuals of the film, of her looming eerily over the heroes. Unlike Baum’s WWotW, Maguire’s Elphaba retains vision in both eyes, and inherits her film counterpart's scrying abilities (primarily using a blown-glass orb).
-Baum’s WWotW importantly carries an umbrella, not a broomstick, as a source of protection for her aquaphobia. She has no need for transportation, her location is limited to her castle in the West of Oz. MGM’s script, howvever, gave Hamilton’s Witch a means of transportation that had long been popular in witch mythology, a broomstick, involving her more directly in the narrative (as well as giving the Wizard a macguffin to send Dorothy after). Maguire also chose to make a broomstick a means of travel for Elphaba, and Stephen Schwartz's “Defying Gravity”, the centerpiece of the musical, which sees a scene not included in the novel, where Elphaba defiantly flies over the Emerald City in protest of the Wizard, cemented the broom’s icon status within the framework of the Wicked franchise.
-The Flying Monkeys in Baum’s novel have a rich backstory involving their enslavement at the hands of a sorceress named Gaylette. The monkeys’ terms of imprisonment require they obey three commands given by whomever possess a Golden Cap, which the WWotW owns and uses to capture Dorothy and her friends. Dorothy comes into possession of the Golden Cap after WWotW’s demise (similar to her inheriting the slippers) and is able to command the monkeys to her own benefit later in the book. The Golden Cap subplot was scrapped from the MGM film in favor of giving the witch a more ambiguous command over her uniformed simian air force (though it still appears in the final cut as a prop tossed by Hamilton's Witch to Nikko, the flying monkey). Maguire’s Wicked makes no mention of Baum’s golden cap, giving Elphaba a monkey factotum, similar to MGM’s Nikko, now called Chistrey. The monkeys are given a vivisection backstory in Maguire's novel and are a result of the Grimmerie’s levitation spell in the musical, but Elphaba’s willful command of the their legions, without the limitations of the Golden Cap, is much more reminiscent of MGM’s Witch than Baum’s.
-Famously the slippers Dorothy inherits from the WWotE in Baum’s novel are made of silver metal (sterling silver shoes were popular as decorations and sugar bowls in Baum's day). The Slippers in the 1939 film were famously changed to ruby, so as to be more eye-catching against the technicolor yellow road. After some initial designs, MGM designer Adrian landed on the iconic red sequined pump seen in the film. Maguire’s novel, utilizing the film’s sibling backstory to motivate Elphaba, makes the famous pair of slippers into a sentimental pair of shoes adorned with beaded glass, in the musical referred to as "jeweled", which refract multiple colors, notably ruby red. Susan Hilferty’s choice of silver sequined pumps for the musical, given a red special lighting cue at a crucial moment, distinctly resemble Adrian’s 1939 design.
-Dorothy is a young child of roughly seven or eight years old in Baum’s novel and its illustrations. In Maguire’s take on the character she is depicted as a husky teenager prone to cloying musical outbursts. Teenage Judy Garland was famously derided at MGM for her weight, especially filming Oz, with Louis Mayor allegedly calling her his “little hunchback”.
-The Wizard appears as multiple facades in Baum’s novel; a giant head, ball of fire, glamorous woman, and monstrous beast. In the 1939 film the extent of his deception is the use of a giant head, similarly he only appears as a looming head in Wicked.
-But what I find most telling is that none of the witches in Baum’s novel directly interact with one another (later novels in the Oz series withstanding). The famous confrontation between the two witches in Munchkinland was entirely a fabrication of the 1939 film’s screenwriters. The musical’s entire premise, and a large portion of the novel’s, relies on the idea that these two opposing witches shared some past which informs their conflict in that scene, but that moment is solely a product of the 1939 film.
---
I think the way Maguire skirted copyright is incredibly clever and certainly well within fair-use (and probably long past any statute-of-limitations for any kind of damages sought by WB), but I find it wild that such a popular franchise as Wicked has basically used legal gray areas to bring a rainbow of color to Oz, all while claiming use of public domain versions of characters, and clearly mining the trademarked versions of those characters for most of their inspiration.
TL;DR Wicked does not function as a prequel to the book by L. Frank Baum, but only serves as a prequel to the 1939 film, starring Judy Garland. This is evident because the Witch in Baum's book isn't green, doesn't ride a broom, only has one eye, no sister, and never interacts with Glinda (who is an amalgamation of two separate characters).
2024.04.29 06:55 Meowwoofarfpurr I wish my parents would break up. I wish my dad leaves and never comes back.
Is my family still considered complete when my parents hate each other?
They are literally fighting every day. One tries to push the other's buttons until the other one explodes and it erupts into a big fight. Everyday, I work in a very stressful job, and I come home to a very stressful house. I just can't have a moment's peace, to actually feel at home.
Truth be told, I am only barely tolerating my dad. Sure, hatid-sundo ako sa ospital coz he's the only one aside from my sister who knows how to drive. Ang funny lang kasi people are like "aww your dad loves you so much". No, he only loves himself. He's simply curating an image na loving dad siya, but he really only cares about himself. He even hates the fact na he had to serve his family. Nalulong ang pamilya namin sa utang dahil sa kanya, coz he mismanaged his funds sa Saudi, and yet he never said sorry, never took accountability for his actions. Simply blamed them on someone else, and if not on someone else... on his "bad luck". But lo and behold, madami siyang name-brand items na binibida samin, like this 40k watch, while we remember the times nung high school na di kami bumibili ng bagong damit kasi konti lang naiwan na pangkain.
And my mom, who's a perfectionist control-freak (mahal ko nanay ko, but she's also a deeply flawed person), is the perfect foil to my father's narcissism. My father wants to be flawless, but my mother is a sharped-tongue, dry-humored, sarcastic iron lady who will stop at nothing to point out his BS. My mother can be BS, too, not gonna lie, especially when it comes to looks, status and money. But here we are, and it's really... I dunno how to feel anymore. Usually I would cry, pero somehow, puno na ng galit and resentment ang puso ko, na I became numb.
This is probably why I won't be ready to be in a relationship for quite a while. I had a chance to be loved like I wanted to.. but I turned it down. Because I know I will hurt him. Like the way my parents would hurt each other. And I didn't want to pass the pain and trauma to the next generation.
I am dreaming right now... of being independent. Of living free. Abroad might be the answer, yes(but I'm scared of wanting it too much because I might not just get it and the thought hurts me). I want to be alone. Live a life alone for a while. Find what would truly make me happy without having the opinions of others clouding my judgment. Find myself.
For now, I am just holding on. Praying to God to help me get through my daily life. Holding on to the dream. Holding on to the pieces of me that are still intact. Maybe I'll find love, but I swear, I'll love myself fully first before I can give myself to another person. I want to live a happy home, with happy kids. I dont want them to live like I did.
My parents' relationship taught me the horrors of choosing the wrong person. Love is never about tolerance, it's acceptance. And if you're never taught to accept, you'll only tolerate what's available to you at the moment. And that's not right. Choose what's right, choose what's healthy. That is all.
submitted by Meowwoofarfpurr to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
They are literally fighting every day. One tries to push the other's buttons until the other one explodes and it erupts into a big fight. Everyday, I work in a very stressful job, and I come home to a very stressful house. I just can't have a moment's peace, to actually feel at home.
Truth be told, I am only barely tolerating my dad. Sure, hatid-sundo ako sa ospital coz he's the only one aside from my sister who knows how to drive. Ang funny lang kasi people are like "aww your dad loves you so much". No, he only loves himself. He's simply curating an image na loving dad siya, but he really only cares about himself. He even hates the fact na he had to serve his family. Nalulong ang pamilya namin sa utang dahil sa kanya, coz he mismanaged his funds sa Saudi, and yet he never said sorry, never took accountability for his actions. Simply blamed them on someone else, and if not on someone else... on his "bad luck". But lo and behold, madami siyang name-brand items na binibida samin, like this 40k watch, while we remember the times nung high school na di kami bumibili ng bagong damit kasi konti lang naiwan na pangkain.
And my mom, who's a perfectionist control-freak (mahal ko nanay ko, but she's also a deeply flawed person), is the perfect foil to my father's narcissism. My father wants to be flawless, but my mother is a sharped-tongue, dry-humored, sarcastic iron lady who will stop at nothing to point out his BS. My mother can be BS, too, not gonna lie, especially when it comes to looks, status and money. But here we are, and it's really... I dunno how to feel anymore. Usually I would cry, pero somehow, puno na ng galit and resentment ang puso ko, na I became numb.
This is probably why I won't be ready to be in a relationship for quite a while. I had a chance to be loved like I wanted to.. but I turned it down. Because I know I will hurt him. Like the way my parents would hurt each other. And I didn't want to pass the pain and trauma to the next generation.
I am dreaming right now... of being independent. Of living free. Abroad might be the answer, yes(but I'm scared of wanting it too much because I might not just get it and the thought hurts me). I want to be alone. Live a life alone for a while. Find what would truly make me happy without having the opinions of others clouding my judgment. Find myself.
For now, I am just holding on. Praying to God to help me get through my daily life. Holding on to the dream. Holding on to the pieces of me that are still intact. Maybe I'll find love, but I swear, I'll love myself fully first before I can give myself to another person. I want to live a happy home, with happy kids. I dont want them to live like I did.
My parents' relationship taught me the horrors of choosing the wrong person. Love is never about tolerance, it's acceptance. And if you're never taught to accept, you'll only tolerate what's available to you at the moment. And that's not right. Choose what's right, choose what's healthy. That is all.
2024.04.29 06:45 InevitableResident94 Stepmom is insane, dad flip-flopping divorcing her, brother and I at wit's end with them
*TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH AND SEXUAL ASSAULT*
Hey all,
I'm not sure how to even begin this. Most of what I am saying is from what I was told by my brother, so I've done my best to get as much perspective on it as possible.
Almost three years ago my mother passed away during the height of one of the COVID variants. My dad was utterly devastated by this, and he almost lost his life due to complications from COVID a few days after my mom's passing. Needless to say, it was an incredibly difficult and tragic time for us. For my brother and I, we were saddened by Mom's passing, but also grateful to still have Dad alive.
Unfortunately, things went downhill from there and had been for a couple years. My dad and I didn't have a good relationship after my mom passed. For starters, my brother and I thought that it was a priority for him to take as much time as he can to grieve mom. This of course was a suggestion to him and we thought it was important to care for his mental health during this. Instead, he insisted that he didn't have much time left on this Earth and made it his mission to start talking to and dating other women.
Well, five weeks after my mom passed, he tell me he gets with a woman that he previously had attempted to have an affair with while married to my mom. I was pissed at him to the point where we went to long periods of little contact. When we did have contact, it was ultimately fighting. Well, things didn't work out for them and they moved on from each other.
March of last year my dad gets with another woman and then a week after, gets married to her. In hindsight, I should have fought back against it but at the time our relationship was eroded that I was complacent and didn't argue. Little did I know this woman is who I would consider to be one of the most dangerous, scummiest and most disgusting individuals I've had the displeasure of meeting. I believe she is wholly responsible for the situation my dad and brother are in.
Fast forward to March of this year, and my brother, dad and stepmother became homeless. My dad gets arrested for failure to appear in court because of a prior DUI offense that he got this year, which required him to appear in court. He goes to jail as a result. My brother is put in a vulnerable position with my stepmom at this point because the stepmom tried hitting on him and coercing my brother for sex. I brought this up to my dad while he was in jail and he was committed on divorcing her after he got out of jail.
This woman is absolutely vile. She has a history of animal neglect and abuse. She lived in a trailer where she had at least 40 cats at once, all of them picked up off the streets. Animal control had to intervene and they found at least a couple of dead cats in her closet. This was before she met my dad. And while dad was in jail, she was brought in to a women's shelter. She had my dad's car in her possession. Animal control was ultimately called and she was put in jail on animal cruelty charges because it turned out that she was keeping two stray cats in the vehicle. To make matters worse, she defecated in the car with the cats in the vehicle, windows rolled up and everything. This is in rural North Carolina, so while it is still chilly during that time of year, it's absolutely unacceptable to have pets unoccupied in the vehicles at all times.
She gets arrested and processed the same day that my dad has his scheduled court hearing and he was supposed to get out after the conclusion of the hearing. Needless to say, after the court hearing, my dad was brought new charges against him, this time being charges of animal cruelty. For what? Well, in addition to association (i.e: he is married to her), it was alleged he neglected his own dogs while they were in his possession. In my experience with my dad, I found this odd because while my dad didn't live in the best of conditions (it is a rural area with a large percentage of the population in poverty), my dad did everything to care for his two dogs; he thought the world of them. So to get charged with animal cruelty shocked my brother and I both.
During the time my dad was in jail, the step mom 'gave away' my dad's two dogs. When I say 'gave away', what I am understanding is that the dogs were kidnapped and found with injuries. Well, animal control found my dad's dogs. One of the dogs died from complications, the other dog has or is going to be put down. It was surprising the animal cruelty charges were brought against my dad because its been our (my brother and me) collective experience that he treated those dogs well. So brother and I talked it over, and my brother decides to bail my dad out because it didn't seem the charges were justified. My dad is out about the first or second week in April.
So during this time, my dad is trying to do everything in his power to seek divorce from my step mom. From our (my brother and I) perspective, there was enough grounds to divorce her. Aside from her cruelty to animals, she is also responsible for the homeless situation they're in. They were two months behind on rent before they were given the boot. For two of those months, she was handed $700 a month to pay for rent to the landlord. She would pretend to pay the landlord but instead pocket the money and use it to buy her own personal wants. She would do this whether it was grocery money or rent money or money for bills.
The amount of shit she did while dad was in jail is astounding. She would go around to several of the restaurants in town with her former room mate, they would order food and drink, and put the bill under a tab in Dad's name. The car that she defecated in? My dad called a towing company to grab it and store it for a few days until it can be decided what to do with it. She is banned from the restaurant establishment that my brother works in because she would harass and harangue the staff and customers for free food, and to also harass my brother.
A couple days after my dad was bailed, SHE makes bail. And she has been harassing and stalking them since. She went back to jail for missing court last week, but she was shortly bailed out after, and she had been hanging around them since. It was getting bad that when dad had an opportunity to be free, he got with his lawyer to file a protective order which is pending the yay or nay.
Everything about her from the start of when Dad married her screamed giant red flag. Last October, my dad, brother and step mom were in the hospital because they felt sick to their stomach. Doctors noticed symptoms of poisoning and drew blood from all three of them. Turns out they had traces of thallium in their systems. My knowledge of thallium is limited, but it's my understanding it was used in rodenticides and insecticides and was prohibited in the US in the 70s due to its toxicity. But with all of the recent stuff unfolding, it really makes me suspect she had something to do with that.
Additionally, she mentioned that her ex-husband had forced himself upon her (the ex-husband, for context, also was living with them along with the landlord and two other individuals) one night when dad wasn't around and committed sexual assault against her. A sexual assault forensic exam was performed on her, and they did not find any traces of the ex-husband's semen, nor did they find signs that he was forceful against her. Additionally, the ex-husband took a polygraph at least 3 times and the polygraph concluded that he was being truthful.
This isn't to say that something didn't happen to her - it is possible. However, the way she conveyed the sexual assault over the phone seemed more indicative of a ploy to defame her ex-husband. Having been a victim of sexual abuse and assault as a child, I hyperventilate and panic cry whenever I start having flashbacks of the incident. I can not stand to think about or talk about it with people, and I refuse to talk about it with anyone after I told an ex-girlfriend of mine in grade school and she decided to tell everyone about it. But my stepmom was so nonchalant and cheerful mentioning it, that alarm bells started to go off in my head. The mentioned evidence and my experience as a sexual assault survivor makes me believe in this circumstance, she was being deceitful and was spiting her ex-husband.
Oh, and during this time leading up to now, my dad and brother have had to replace a total of 10 tires because they would be slashed out. It can't be proven, but I suspect that my stepmom slashed them.
Everything about this woman just screams red flag. At this point, I don't want her near my dad and brother, and I definitely don't want her near my son. On top of this, my dad is also flip-flopping on divorcing this woman. We suspect her of doing all of this shit, and yet my dad is showing signs of wanting to do the exact opposite of divorcing her. This woman is absolutely unhinged to the point I'm concerned that she is going to ruin my dad and my brother with allegations and she would be walking away with it. A part of why I think he is flip-flopping is due to a recent discovery. Dad uncovered that this woman has $600,000+ in her bank account, and he's like 'Why is she homeless? She could be buying a property or two, have enough money for property taxes for the rest of her life, and be okay.' It makes me think he is flip-flopping because of this discovery, when I think he should do the right thing and get as far away from her as possible. He did try to do the right thing and give her card back, that said. But I don't think she has a comprehension of how much that is worth, because she has effectively been on the streets since being out of jail recently.
The worst thing about all of this unfolding, is knowing that I am not in a position to be in person to help them. I'm all the way on the other side of the US. My dad and my brother tell me not to intervene; that it isn't my circus to be involved in. The advice I try to give my dad and brother seems to fall on deaf ears. It feels like it's going to get to a point where I'm going to have to fly down to intervene and figure something out. Knowing I fly down there means I will need a police escort for when I do see my dad and stepmom, because I do not want my step mom around my son, and I already know that my wife is going to be on guard the moment my step mom decides to put hands on my son. I apologize if this is rambling and incoherent, I'm doing my best to tell the story as best as possible. This will likely need a couple edits to lay it down completely.
TL;DR: My stepmom is absolutely batshit insane and is responsible for the homeless situation my dad and brother are in. Everything about her is a giant red flag from the beginning of when dad married her. She has done absolutely vile and reprehensible things. My dad initially committed to divorcing her, but now is on the fence about it. I really think it's the fact he uncovered she has six figures in her checking account, but she doesn't believe it and she has no comprehension of money given her history of poor spending habits.
submitted by InevitableResident94 to FamilyIssues [link] [comments]
Hey all,
I'm not sure how to even begin this. Most of what I am saying is from what I was told by my brother, so I've done my best to get as much perspective on it as possible.
Almost three years ago my mother passed away during the height of one of the COVID variants. My dad was utterly devastated by this, and he almost lost his life due to complications from COVID a few days after my mom's passing. Needless to say, it was an incredibly difficult and tragic time for us. For my brother and I, we were saddened by Mom's passing, but also grateful to still have Dad alive.
Unfortunately, things went downhill from there and had been for a couple years. My dad and I didn't have a good relationship after my mom passed. For starters, my brother and I thought that it was a priority for him to take as much time as he can to grieve mom. This of course was a suggestion to him and we thought it was important to care for his mental health during this. Instead, he insisted that he didn't have much time left on this Earth and made it his mission to start talking to and dating other women.
Well, five weeks after my mom passed, he tell me he gets with a woman that he previously had attempted to have an affair with while married to my mom. I was pissed at him to the point where we went to long periods of little contact. When we did have contact, it was ultimately fighting. Well, things didn't work out for them and they moved on from each other.
March of last year my dad gets with another woman and then a week after, gets married to her. In hindsight, I should have fought back against it but at the time our relationship was eroded that I was complacent and didn't argue. Little did I know this woman is who I would consider to be one of the most dangerous, scummiest and most disgusting individuals I've had the displeasure of meeting. I believe she is wholly responsible for the situation my dad and brother are in.
Fast forward to March of this year, and my brother, dad and stepmother became homeless. My dad gets arrested for failure to appear in court because of a prior DUI offense that he got this year, which required him to appear in court. He goes to jail as a result. My brother is put in a vulnerable position with my stepmom at this point because the stepmom tried hitting on him and coercing my brother for sex. I brought this up to my dad while he was in jail and he was committed on divorcing her after he got out of jail.
This woman is absolutely vile. She has a history of animal neglect and abuse. She lived in a trailer where she had at least 40 cats at once, all of them picked up off the streets. Animal control had to intervene and they found at least a couple of dead cats in her closet. This was before she met my dad. And while dad was in jail, she was brought in to a women's shelter. She had my dad's car in her possession. Animal control was ultimately called and she was put in jail on animal cruelty charges because it turned out that she was keeping two stray cats in the vehicle. To make matters worse, she defecated in the car with the cats in the vehicle, windows rolled up and everything. This is in rural North Carolina, so while it is still chilly during that time of year, it's absolutely unacceptable to have pets unoccupied in the vehicles at all times.
She gets arrested and processed the same day that my dad has his scheduled court hearing and he was supposed to get out after the conclusion of the hearing. Needless to say, after the court hearing, my dad was brought new charges against him, this time being charges of animal cruelty. For what? Well, in addition to association (i.e: he is married to her), it was alleged he neglected his own dogs while they were in his possession. In my experience with my dad, I found this odd because while my dad didn't live in the best of conditions (it is a rural area with a large percentage of the population in poverty), my dad did everything to care for his two dogs; he thought the world of them. So to get charged with animal cruelty shocked my brother and I both.
During the time my dad was in jail, the step mom 'gave away' my dad's two dogs. When I say 'gave away', what I am understanding is that the dogs were kidnapped and found with injuries. Well, animal control found my dad's dogs. One of the dogs died from complications, the other dog has or is going to be put down. It was surprising the animal cruelty charges were brought against my dad because its been our (my brother and me) collective experience that he treated those dogs well. So brother and I talked it over, and my brother decides to bail my dad out because it didn't seem the charges were justified. My dad is out about the first or second week in April.
So during this time, my dad is trying to do everything in his power to seek divorce from my step mom. From our (my brother and I) perspective, there was enough grounds to divorce her. Aside from her cruelty to animals, she is also responsible for the homeless situation they're in. They were two months behind on rent before they were given the boot. For two of those months, she was handed $700 a month to pay for rent to the landlord. She would pretend to pay the landlord but instead pocket the money and use it to buy her own personal wants. She would do this whether it was grocery money or rent money or money for bills.
The amount of shit she did while dad was in jail is astounding. She would go around to several of the restaurants in town with her former room mate, they would order food and drink, and put the bill under a tab in Dad's name. The car that she defecated in? My dad called a towing company to grab it and store it for a few days until it can be decided what to do with it. She is banned from the restaurant establishment that my brother works in because she would harass and harangue the staff and customers for free food, and to also harass my brother.
A couple days after my dad was bailed, SHE makes bail. And she has been harassing and stalking them since. She went back to jail for missing court last week, but she was shortly bailed out after, and she had been hanging around them since. It was getting bad that when dad had an opportunity to be free, he got with his lawyer to file a protective order which is pending the yay or nay.
Everything about her from the start of when Dad married her screamed giant red flag. Last October, my dad, brother and step mom were in the hospital because they felt sick to their stomach. Doctors noticed symptoms of poisoning and drew blood from all three of them. Turns out they had traces of thallium in their systems. My knowledge of thallium is limited, but it's my understanding it was used in rodenticides and insecticides and was prohibited in the US in the 70s due to its toxicity. But with all of the recent stuff unfolding, it really makes me suspect she had something to do with that.
Additionally, she mentioned that her ex-husband had forced himself upon her (the ex-husband, for context, also was living with them along with the landlord and two other individuals) one night when dad wasn't around and committed sexual assault against her. A sexual assault forensic exam was performed on her, and they did not find any traces of the ex-husband's semen, nor did they find signs that he was forceful against her. Additionally, the ex-husband took a polygraph at least 3 times and the polygraph concluded that he was being truthful.
This isn't to say that something didn't happen to her - it is possible. However, the way she conveyed the sexual assault over the phone seemed more indicative of a ploy to defame her ex-husband. Having been a victim of sexual abuse and assault as a child, I hyperventilate and panic cry whenever I start having flashbacks of the incident. I can not stand to think about or talk about it with people, and I refuse to talk about it with anyone after I told an ex-girlfriend of mine in grade school and she decided to tell everyone about it. But my stepmom was so nonchalant and cheerful mentioning it, that alarm bells started to go off in my head. The mentioned evidence and my experience as a sexual assault survivor makes me believe in this circumstance, she was being deceitful and was spiting her ex-husband.
Oh, and during this time leading up to now, my dad and brother have had to replace a total of 10 tires because they would be slashed out. It can't be proven, but I suspect that my stepmom slashed them.
Everything about this woman just screams red flag. At this point, I don't want her near my dad and brother, and I definitely don't want her near my son. On top of this, my dad is also flip-flopping on divorcing this woman. We suspect her of doing all of this shit, and yet my dad is showing signs of wanting to do the exact opposite of divorcing her. This woman is absolutely unhinged to the point I'm concerned that she is going to ruin my dad and my brother with allegations and she would be walking away with it. A part of why I think he is flip-flopping is due to a recent discovery. Dad uncovered that this woman has $600,000+ in her bank account, and he's like 'Why is she homeless? She could be buying a property or two, have enough money for property taxes for the rest of her life, and be okay.' It makes me think he is flip-flopping because of this discovery, when I think he should do the right thing and get as far away from her as possible. He did try to do the right thing and give her card back, that said. But I don't think she has a comprehension of how much that is worth, because she has effectively been on the streets since being out of jail recently.
The worst thing about all of this unfolding, is knowing that I am not in a position to be in person to help them. I'm all the way on the other side of the US. My dad and my brother tell me not to intervene; that it isn't my circus to be involved in. The advice I try to give my dad and brother seems to fall on deaf ears. It feels like it's going to get to a point where I'm going to have to fly down to intervene and figure something out. Knowing I fly down there means I will need a police escort for when I do see my dad and stepmom, because I do not want my step mom around my son, and I already know that my wife is going to be on guard the moment my step mom decides to put hands on my son. I apologize if this is rambling and incoherent, I'm doing my best to tell the story as best as possible. This will likely need a couple edits to lay it down completely.
TL;DR: My stepmom is absolutely batshit insane and is responsible for the homeless situation my dad and brother are in. Everything about her is a giant red flag from the beginning of when dad married her. She has done absolutely vile and reprehensible things. My dad initially committed to divorcing her, but now is on the fence about it. I really think it's the fact he uncovered she has six figures in her checking account, but she doesn't believe it and she has no comprehension of money given her history of poor spending habits.
2024.04.29 06:32 BLACKROCKBLACKROCK Help me decide! Rice vs Cornell vs others for IP Prelaw
I'm currently planning on become a patent lawyer with a chemical or biomedical engineering background. This of course isn't 100% as there i could also possibly end up trying to go to med school or get a PhD, or even trying to break into IB, but the current plan is IP law. I am planning on majoring in Chemical or Biomedical Engineering with a minodouble major (depending on the university) in something more fun like economics, political science, history, etc. With that being said, here are the pros and cons
Rice Pros happy undergraduates residential colleges top 10 bme department i have undergrad research basically lined up MD Anderson i have family/family friends in Houston I could intern a lot at the Baker institute for public policy research as well very nice grade inflation received scholarship so its about the same price as GTech collaborative atmosphere cons not great econ department i don't love houston closest well known law school is in austin Cornell Pros dat ivy league status and prestige cornell is a well known ivy league law school feeder produces a crap ton of NSF scholars nice campus i know a few students there negatives most expensive school on the list, and i heard they only increase their costs as you go on pretty bad grade deflation in the engineering college can't realistically double major ithaca is literally in the middle of nowhere everyone says people are depressed there (idk how true that is) there is like no collaborative culture, everyone seems cutthroat i don't want to have to watch my back 24/7 for four years Johns Hopkins positives arguably greatest med school in the world tons of research opportunities technically the highest ranked school in this list very good foreign relations department Negatives baltimore everyone says its depressing i didn't apply to BME, and its nigh impossible to transfer into BME, so I would be in the ChemE department, which isn't really a chem e department so much as its a bme reject department everyone and their mom there is a premed university seems not to care about undergrads i have heard about a fair amount of grade deflation second most expensive school, not much cheaper than cornell no law school UT Austin pros visited and vibed with the whole thing seems super fun, Austin is fun in general very well regarded Chem E department law school on campus i heard once you start to attend if they like you they shower you in scholarships and make you in state somehow negatives pretty pricey for now, tentatively more so than rice very big school, easy to get 'lost' among everyone else obviously doesn't have the same name factor as the previous schools i have heard of some pretty bad GPAs coming out of UT Austin engineering Georgia Tech Pros any engineering you do will be top notch negatives there is nothing non STEM offered here Atlanta pretty bad grade deflation similar price as rice for much more non-personal treatment it seems to me like they don't care much for undergrads everyone there is kind of a industry obssesed engineer no law school, or even med school really (idk if you would count emory) Minnesota Pros arguably best chem E department here great scholarship that gives me in state, if not more could probably negotiate the scholarship higher Cons no-one hears Minnesota and thinks 'wow this guy is crazy good' its not really that great at anything beyond chem e tbh networking will be a lil mid Local State University pros ik for a fact it would be fun most of my friends are going there i would basically already know everyone i have significant ties to the university and would receive very nice 'baby' treatment i could easily be one of the best in my class basically free to go negatives no-name university ranked way worse than even top 100 pretty strong greek life presence wouldn't have competition which might lead me to not do much i would basically be required to get a graduate degree if i plan on doing anything beyond working for like chevron phillips i would be made fun of forever and ever i might get depressed idk
submitted by BLACKROCKBLACKROCK to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]
Rice Pros happy undergraduates residential colleges top 10 bme department i have undergrad research basically lined up MD Anderson i have family/family friends in Houston I could intern a lot at the Baker institute for public policy research as well very nice grade inflation received scholarship so its about the same price as GTech collaborative atmosphere cons not great econ department i don't love houston closest well known law school is in austin Cornell Pros dat ivy league status and prestige cornell is a well known ivy league law school feeder produces a crap ton of NSF scholars nice campus i know a few students there negatives most expensive school on the list, and i heard they only increase their costs as you go on pretty bad grade deflation in the engineering college can't realistically double major ithaca is literally in the middle of nowhere everyone says people are depressed there (idk how true that is) there is like no collaborative culture, everyone seems cutthroat i don't want to have to watch my back 24/7 for four years Johns Hopkins positives arguably greatest med school in the world tons of research opportunities technically the highest ranked school in this list very good foreign relations department Negatives baltimore everyone says its depressing i didn't apply to BME, and its nigh impossible to transfer into BME, so I would be in the ChemE department, which isn't really a chem e department so much as its a bme reject department everyone and their mom there is a premed university seems not to care about undergrads i have heard about a fair amount of grade deflation second most expensive school, not much cheaper than cornell no law school UT Austin pros visited and vibed with the whole thing seems super fun, Austin is fun in general very well regarded Chem E department law school on campus i heard once you start to attend if they like you they shower you in scholarships and make you in state somehow negatives pretty pricey for now, tentatively more so than rice very big school, easy to get 'lost' among everyone else obviously doesn't have the same name factor as the previous schools i have heard of some pretty bad GPAs coming out of UT Austin engineering Georgia Tech Pros any engineering you do will be top notch negatives there is nothing non STEM offered here Atlanta pretty bad grade deflation similar price as rice for much more non-personal treatment it seems to me like they don't care much for undergrads everyone there is kind of a industry obssesed engineer no law school, or even med school really (idk if you would count emory) Minnesota Pros arguably best chem E department here great scholarship that gives me in state, if not more could probably negotiate the scholarship higher Cons no-one hears Minnesota and thinks 'wow this guy is crazy good' its not really that great at anything beyond chem e tbh networking will be a lil mid Local State University pros ik for a fact it would be fun most of my friends are going there i would basically already know everyone i have significant ties to the university and would receive very nice 'baby' treatment i could easily be one of the best in my class basically free to go negatives no-name university ranked way worse than even top 100 pretty strong greek life presence wouldn't have competition which might lead me to not do much i would basically be required to get a graduate degree if i plan on doing anything beyond working for like chevron phillips i would be made fun of forever and ever i might get depressed idk
2024.04.29 06:32 BLACKROCKBLACKROCK Help me decide! Rice vs Cornell vs others for IP Prelaw
I'm currently planning on become a patent lawyer with a chemical or biomedical engineering background. This of course isn't 100% as there i could also possibly end up trying to go to med school or get a PhD, or even trying to break into IB, but the current plan is IP law. I am planning on majoring in Chemical or Biomedical Engineering with a minodouble major (depending on the university) in something more fun like economics, political science, history, etc. With that being said, here are the pros and cons
Rice Pros
happy undergraduates
residential colleges
top 10 bme department
i have undergrad research basically lined up
MD Anderson
i have family/family friends in Houston
I could intern a lot at the Baker institute for public policy research as well
very nice grade inflation
received scholarship so its about the same price as GTech
collaborative atmosphere
cons
not great econ department
i don't love houston
closest well known law school is in austin
Cornell Pros
dat ivy league status and prestige
cornell is a well known ivy league law school feeder
produces a crap ton of NSF scholars
nice campus
i know a few students there
negatives
most expensive school on the list, and i heard they only increase their costs as you go on
pretty bad grade deflation in the engineering college
can't realistically double major
ithaca is literally in the middle of nowhere
everyone says people are depressed there (idk how true that is)
there is like no collaborative culture, everyone seems cutthroat
i don't want to have to watch my back 24/7 for four years
Johns Hopkins positives
arguably greatest med school in the world
tons of research opportunities
technically the highest ranked school in this list
very good foreign relations department
Negatives
baltimore
everyone says its depressing
i didn't apply to BME, and its nigh impossible to transfer into BME, so I would be in the ChemE department, which isn't really a chem e department so much as its a bme reject department
everyone and their mom there is a premed
university seems not to care about undergrads
i have heard about a fair amount of grade deflation
second most expensive school, not much cheaper than cornell
no law school
UT Austin pros
visited and vibed with the whole thing
seems super fun, Austin is fun in general
very well regarded Chem E department
law school on campus
i heard once you start to attend if they like you they shower you in scholarships and make you in state somehow
negatives
pretty pricey for now, tentatively more so than rice
very big school, easy to get 'lost' among everyone else
obviously doesn't have the same name factor as the previous schools
i have heard of some pretty bad GPAs coming out of UT Austin engineering
Georgia Tech Pros
any engineering you do will be top notch
negatives
there is nothing non STEM offered here
Atlanta
pretty bad grade deflation
similar price as rice for much more non-personal treatment
it seems to me like they don't care much for undergrads
everyone there is kind of a industry obssesed engineer
no law school, or even med school really (idk if you would count emory)
Minnesota Pros
arguably best chem E department here
great scholarship that gives me in state, if not more
could probably negotiate the scholarship higher
Cons
no-one hears Minnesota and thinks 'wow this guy is crazy good'
its not really that great at anything beyond chem e tbh
networking will be a lil mid
Local State University pros
ik for a fact it would be fun
most of my friends are going there
i would basically already know everyone
i have significant ties to the university and would receive very nice 'baby' treatment
i could easily be one of the best in my class
basically free to go
negatives
no-name university
ranked way worse than even top 100
pretty strong greek life presence
wouldn't have competition which might lead me to not do much
i would basically be required to get a graduate degree if i plan on doing anything beyond working for like chevron phillips
i would be made fun of forever and ever
i might get depressed idk
submitted by BLACKROCKBLACKROCK to lawschooladmissions [link] [comments]
Rice Pros
happy undergraduates
residential colleges
top 10 bme department
i have undergrad research basically lined up
MD Anderson
i have family/family friends in Houston
I could intern a lot at the Baker institute for public policy research as well
very nice grade inflation
received scholarship so its about the same price as GTech
collaborative atmosphere
cons
not great econ department
i don't love houston
closest well known law school is in austin
Cornell Pros
dat ivy league status and prestige
cornell is a well known ivy league law school feeder
produces a crap ton of NSF scholars
nice campus
i know a few students there
negatives
most expensive school on the list, and i heard they only increase their costs as you go on
pretty bad grade deflation in the engineering college
can't realistically double major
ithaca is literally in the middle of nowhere
everyone says people are depressed there (idk how true that is)
there is like no collaborative culture, everyone seems cutthroat
i don't want to have to watch my back 24/7 for four years
Johns Hopkins positives
arguably greatest med school in the world
tons of research opportunities
technically the highest ranked school in this list
very good foreign relations department
Negatives
baltimore
everyone says its depressing
i didn't apply to BME, and its nigh impossible to transfer into BME, so I would be in the ChemE department, which isn't really a chem e department so much as its a bme reject department
everyone and their mom there is a premed
university seems not to care about undergrads
i have heard about a fair amount of grade deflation
second most expensive school, not much cheaper than cornell
no law school
UT Austin pros
visited and vibed with the whole thing
seems super fun, Austin is fun in general
very well regarded Chem E department
law school on campus
i heard once you start to attend if they like you they shower you in scholarships and make you in state somehow
negatives
pretty pricey for now, tentatively more so than rice
very big school, easy to get 'lost' among everyone else
obviously doesn't have the same name factor as the previous schools
i have heard of some pretty bad GPAs coming out of UT Austin engineering
Georgia Tech Pros
any engineering you do will be top notch
negatives
there is nothing non STEM offered here
Atlanta
pretty bad grade deflation
similar price as rice for much more non-personal treatment
it seems to me like they don't care much for undergrads
everyone there is kind of a industry obssesed engineer
no law school, or even med school really (idk if you would count emory)
Minnesota Pros
arguably best chem E department here
great scholarship that gives me in state, if not more
could probably negotiate the scholarship higher
Cons
no-one hears Minnesota and thinks 'wow this guy is crazy good'
its not really that great at anything beyond chem e tbh
networking will be a lil mid
Local State University pros
ik for a fact it would be fun
most of my friends are going there
i would basically already know everyone
i have significant ties to the university and would receive very nice 'baby' treatment
i could easily be one of the best in my class
basically free to go
negatives
no-name university
ranked way worse than even top 100
pretty strong greek life presence
wouldn't have competition which might lead me to not do much
i would basically be required to get a graduate degree if i plan on doing anything beyond working for like chevron phillips
i would be made fun of forever and ever
i might get depressed idk
2024.04.29 06:32 BLACKROCKBLACKROCK Help me decide! Rice vs Cornell vs others for IP Prelaw
I'm currently planning on become a patent lawyer with a chemical or biomedical engineering background. This of course isn't 100% as there i could also possibly end up trying to go to med school or get a PhD, or even trying to break into IB, but the current plan is IP law. I am planning on majoring in Chemical or Biomedical Engineering with a minodouble major (depending on the university) in something more fun like economics, political science, history, etc. With that being said, here are the pros and cons
Rice Pros happy undergraduates residential colleges top 10 bme department i have undergrad research basically lined up MD Anderson i have family/family friends in Houston I could intern a lot at the Baker institute for public policy research as well very nice grade inflation received scholarship so its about the same price as GTech collaborative atmosphere cons not great econ department i don't love houston closest well known law school is in austin Cornell Pros dat ivy league status and prestige cornell is a well known ivy league law school feeder produces a crap ton of NSF scholars nice campus i know a few students there negatives most expensive school on the list, and i heard they only increase their costs as you go on pretty bad grade deflation in the engineering college can't realistically double major ithaca is literally in the middle of nowhere everyone says people are depressed there (idk how true that is) there is like no collaborative culture, everyone seems cutthroat i don't want to have to watch my back 24/7 for four years Johns Hopkins positives arguably greatest med school in the world tons of research opportunities technically the highest ranked school in this list very good foreign relations department Negatives baltimore everyone says its depressing i didn't apply to BME, and its nigh impossible to transfer into BME, so I would be in the ChemE department, which isn't really a chem e department so much as its a bme reject department everyone and their mom there is a premed university seems not to care about undergrads i have heard about a fair amount of grade deflation second most expensive school, not much cheaper than cornell no law school UT Austin pros visited and vibed with the whole thing seems super fun, Austin is fun in general very well regarded Chem E department law school on campus i heard once you start to attend if they like you they shower you in scholarships and make you in state somehow negatives pretty pricey for now, tentatively more so than rice very big school, easy to get 'lost' among everyone else obviously doesn't have the same name factor as the previous schools i have heard of some pretty bad GPAs coming out of UT Austin engineering Georgia Tech Pros any engineering you do will be top notch negatives there is nothing non STEM offered here Atlanta pretty bad grade deflation similar price as rice for much more non-personal treatment it seems to me like they don't care much for undergrads everyone there is kind of a industry obssesed engineer no law school, or even med school really (idk if you would count emory) Minnesota Pros arguably best chem E department here great scholarship that gives me in state, if not more could probably negotiate the scholarship higher Cons no-one hears Minnesota and thinks 'wow this guy is crazy good' its not really that great at anything beyond chem e tbh networking will be a lil mid Local State University pros ik for a fact it would be fun most of my friends are going there i would basically already know everyone i have significant ties to the university and would receive very nice 'baby' treatment i could easily be one of the best in my class basically free to go negatives no-name university ranked way worse than even top 100 pretty strong greek life presence wouldn't have competition which might lead me to not do much i would basically be required to get a graduate degree if i plan on doing anything beyond working for like chevron phillips i would be made fun of forever and ever i might get depressed idk
submitted by BLACKROCKBLACKROCK to collegeresults [link] [comments]
Rice Pros happy undergraduates residential colleges top 10 bme department i have undergrad research basically lined up MD Anderson i have family/family friends in Houston I could intern a lot at the Baker institute for public policy research as well very nice grade inflation received scholarship so its about the same price as GTech collaborative atmosphere cons not great econ department i don't love houston closest well known law school is in austin Cornell Pros dat ivy league status and prestige cornell is a well known ivy league law school feeder produces a crap ton of NSF scholars nice campus i know a few students there negatives most expensive school on the list, and i heard they only increase their costs as you go on pretty bad grade deflation in the engineering college can't realistically double major ithaca is literally in the middle of nowhere everyone says people are depressed there (idk how true that is) there is like no collaborative culture, everyone seems cutthroat i don't want to have to watch my back 24/7 for four years Johns Hopkins positives arguably greatest med school in the world tons of research opportunities technically the highest ranked school in this list very good foreign relations department Negatives baltimore everyone says its depressing i didn't apply to BME, and its nigh impossible to transfer into BME, so I would be in the ChemE department, which isn't really a chem e department so much as its a bme reject department everyone and their mom there is a premed university seems not to care about undergrads i have heard about a fair amount of grade deflation second most expensive school, not much cheaper than cornell no law school UT Austin pros visited and vibed with the whole thing seems super fun, Austin is fun in general very well regarded Chem E department law school on campus i heard once you start to attend if they like you they shower you in scholarships and make you in state somehow negatives pretty pricey for now, tentatively more so than rice very big school, easy to get 'lost' among everyone else obviously doesn't have the same name factor as the previous schools i have heard of some pretty bad GPAs coming out of UT Austin engineering Georgia Tech Pros any engineering you do will be top notch negatives there is nothing non STEM offered here Atlanta pretty bad grade deflation similar price as rice for much more non-personal treatment it seems to me like they don't care much for undergrads everyone there is kind of a industry obssesed engineer no law school, or even med school really (idk if you would count emory) Minnesota Pros arguably best chem E department here great scholarship that gives me in state, if not more could probably negotiate the scholarship higher Cons no-one hears Minnesota and thinks 'wow this guy is crazy good' its not really that great at anything beyond chem e tbh networking will be a lil mid Local State University pros ik for a fact it would be fun most of my friends are going there i would basically already know everyone i have significant ties to the university and would receive very nice 'baby' treatment i could easily be one of the best in my class basically free to go negatives no-name university ranked way worse than even top 100 pretty strong greek life presence wouldn't have competition which might lead me to not do much i would basically be required to get a graduate degree if i plan on doing anything beyond working for like chevron phillips i would be made fun of forever and ever i might get depressed idk
2024.04.29 06:31 ChucksFkNSk Spanish naming customs and Form I-130 (wife has two last names)
I am a US citizen and my wife is Mexican. We were married in Mexico and are currently in the process of preparing the I-130. However, I am not sure how to enter her name in the forms. In Spanish-speaking countries, everyone has two first names and two last names. I figure I can put down her second first name as a middle name. But what should I do for her last names?
I figure I go with one of the following two options:
submitted by ChucksFkNSk to USCIS [link] [comments]
I figure I go with one of the following two options:
- Put both last names in the last name box
- Only use her paternal last name (the first one)
2024.04.29 06:30 Hyunjinsfeet143 AITA for not wanting to be friends with a toxic narcissist anymore?
Ok, to start off, I am a big fan of you Charlotte and I watch your videos almost every day. I have been watching for about a year now and you are so funny! Ok, let’s go. I go to a private Christian school, which is pretty small, about 500 people go there total (it goes k-12). So in this school everyone knows everyone pretty much. In my family, me (16 f), my siblings, and two of my cousins go there. Me and my siblings came to this school this year but our cousins have been going here since kindergarten. The girl I’m referring to we will call Sarah. Sarah is in my sister’s (13 f) grade and doesn’t really have many friends now, though she used to. Sarah also has a twin who we will call Sandra. Sarah and Sandra were adopted when they were like 3 by a family who goes to the church that runs the school and the couple has 2 biological sons and the younger of the two is like 6 or 7 years older than them. The two girls were in a situation where their biological parents were neglectful, resulting into Sarah having a burn scar on her face from getting boiling water spilled on her face. When me and my sister came to the school we were her friend but now her and I are rethinking it. She seems very narcissistic, hypocritical, and ungrateful in my opinion. My sister is friends with all the girls in her grade because she’s really sweet and nice and she doesn’t like to get caught up in all the drama, she usually tries to stay neutral because most of it all is stupid. So, Sarah, at the beginning of the year, had 3 friends in her grade not including her sister. The three friends, my sister, and we will call the other two Haley and Cassandra, would always sit together at lunch and me and my cousin (12 f) as well as my best friend (15 f) sat with them. But about 2 months ago Haley and Cassandra decided not to be friends with Sarah because they felt she was a bad influence as she is very disobedient to her parents, 90% of her conversation is about suicide and death, she causes a lot of drama, and she curses in large amounts. Sarah got really mad about that and proceeded to do small things to poke at them and get them to retaliate like stealing their usual seats at lunch. She would also gossip about them. Me and my sister found this unappealing but we brushed it off because she overreacts a lot. A few weeks later my sister decided to sit next to a friend other than Sarah in a class and Sarah got mad at her for that and wouldn’t talk to her for days and proceeded to talk crap about her for it and was saying that Haley and Cassandra told her not to be her friend anymore and Haley and Cassandra were conspiring against her so that she would have no friends. This was not the case. My sister sits next to Sarah in another class and that class was the only one that they had free seating so she decided to sit with a friend she doesn’t sit with in any other class for once. This was a glaring red flag to me and my sister and it pushed her away when there was nothing between her and Sarah. Later other friends of my sister’s (I’m tired of giving them names so it’s gonna be other friend from now on sorry guys.) told her why her and Sarah aren’t friends anymore. This is the story. So, last year they were friends and everything was going well and then Sarah suddenly told them that she couldn’t be friends with them anymore because of her depression. She said that she was too depressed and couldn’t be friends with them anymore because of her mental health. The friends told her that they still wanted to be her friend but Sarah said no, they couldn’t be friends. Because they still wanted to be friends with her, Sarah said they were discrediting her mental health and saying her mental health wasn’t important, which isn’t the case at all. When me and my sister heard this it was disturbing and it sealed the deal for my sister. So, my sister is no longer friends with Sarah, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be friends with her, it’s really emotionally exhausting to be around her and she feels like a narcissist, but I can’t help feeling like an AH for wanting to not be her friend. I don’t want to invalidate her depression because, obviously depression is real, I have experienced it, but I just don’t feel like it’s a reason to push away your friends. Also, my best friend and Sarah are close childhood friends and I’m worried that if I’m not Sarah’s friend then it will create a divide between my best friend and I. So, AITA for not wanting to be Sarah’s friend anymore?
submitted by Hyunjinsfeet143 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
2024.04.29 06:27 SoftCarpetStealer TIFU by agreeing to fight my mom's boyfriend despite being warned not to.
This was 2 months ago but the shame finally went away so I can talk about it now. I've always silently taken pride in my strength and height (6’2) but never really fought many people because they were afraid of me possibly hurting them even though never would even provoked I try to find humor in it before I choose violence. I've been called waste potential because I have the strength but choose to use it to open pickle jars and carry water jugs or any heavy things into my mom's house because she has a bad back. I know my limits most of the time and I know I run out of steam quickly if I'm not careful. My mom recently started dating someone who we will call John.
At the time we had just gotten back from a trip because of my grandmother's 62nd birthday, I had no contact with my grandmother because of her mistreatment towards me which left me traumatized and didn't go to the party, and my mom argued for the first time in years (normally just listen and don't say anything back, she's in the military and is strong). I stayed in the hotel and did an essay I had, But my not going ruined the event essentially. From what my sister and aunts said, the main topic was my absence and my mom's boyfriend felt I was being very disrespectful during the whole ordeal, which I'd admit I was. Did I call her out of her name? No, but I did damage our relationship at the time by not going and standing firm in my decision. I insulted my grandmother for her actions twaords me and said how I'm not going to act fake so she can be happy and I hate being sucked up too and sucking up to people. This by accusation disrespected my mother because I won't even say hi to my grandmother when she's on the phone with my mom and if she calls me I act like I am listening to someone or pretend to focus on something else. We made up but when I tried to give her a fist bump she punched my fist and said we are even now and we laughed. I'm saying this to explain why John did what he did, he saw our argument from start to finish and felt we were both out of line but I was worse. Anyway, time for the funny part.
John felt like I hadn't been punished for my behavior and wanted to get me back without going too far because I wasn't grounded or anything that shocked even me. He asked, “OP Have you ever fought before?” I said “A few times but it's been a while and I'm rusty, I had a friend practice with me so I can punch and block properly but that's about it”. He then asked “You want to fight me?” and laughed, I said “Sure” and he started backtracking hard. He asked me several times if I was sure and asked my mom if she was ok with this, she happily let me fight. I took off my socks so I wouldn't slip on the wooden floor and took off my glasses. He asked me one last time if I was sure and I agreed. This man then rushed at me, I never went from being ok to having my whole body hurt in such a short amount of time. Man did a combo on me and put me in a chokehold, I had rarely been choked properly so this was new. Every time I breathed out I instinctively breathed in but I couldn't get any air and I got light-headed, I was seconds away from passing out before he let go, I got a few punches in while I was on the floor but the lack of air made them weak. After I got up I had a headache and started laughing but my body seriously hurt. My mom said I deserved it for what I put her through last week. John started apologizing but saying he did warn me. I gave them my blessing for they wanted to date officially that day for an unrelated reason.
I have been good about not swearing around my mother, she knows I cuss outside of the house but she's ok with it as long as I don't do it around her. When John ran at me all I could say was “Oh fuck” and before I almost passed out I said “shit” My mom was laughing at me while it happened.
I cannot emphasize enough how fast he pinned me down, I got humbled quickly. My main issue about fighting is I forgot my foot placement and I fall quickly if in the right position. I know this so that's why I rarely fight unless it's for fun. Turns out he rough houses with his entire family and this was just how he acts, she said it's not uncommon for some family members to bleed after and I got it easy. I said he was a supervillain
TLDR My mom's boyfriend joked about fighting me because of an argument I had with my mom and I accepted, then when we fought before I could react he put me in a chokehold and left me with hurt pride and a headache, he had me gasping like a fish.
submitted by SoftCarpetStealer to tifu [link] [comments]
At the time we had just gotten back from a trip because of my grandmother's 62nd birthday, I had no contact with my grandmother because of her mistreatment towards me which left me traumatized and didn't go to the party, and my mom argued for the first time in years (normally just listen and don't say anything back, she's in the military and is strong). I stayed in the hotel and did an essay I had, But my not going ruined the event essentially. From what my sister and aunts said, the main topic was my absence and my mom's boyfriend felt I was being very disrespectful during the whole ordeal, which I'd admit I was. Did I call her out of her name? No, but I did damage our relationship at the time by not going and standing firm in my decision. I insulted my grandmother for her actions twaords me and said how I'm not going to act fake so she can be happy and I hate being sucked up too and sucking up to people. This by accusation disrespected my mother because I won't even say hi to my grandmother when she's on the phone with my mom and if she calls me I act like I am listening to someone or pretend to focus on something else. We made up but when I tried to give her a fist bump she punched my fist and said we are even now and we laughed. I'm saying this to explain why John did what he did, he saw our argument from start to finish and felt we were both out of line but I was worse. Anyway, time for the funny part.
John felt like I hadn't been punished for my behavior and wanted to get me back without going too far because I wasn't grounded or anything that shocked even me. He asked, “OP Have you ever fought before?” I said “A few times but it's been a while and I'm rusty, I had a friend practice with me so I can punch and block properly but that's about it”. He then asked “You want to fight me?” and laughed, I said “Sure” and he started backtracking hard. He asked me several times if I was sure and asked my mom if she was ok with this, she happily let me fight. I took off my socks so I wouldn't slip on the wooden floor and took off my glasses. He asked me one last time if I was sure and I agreed. This man then rushed at me, I never went from being ok to having my whole body hurt in such a short amount of time. Man did a combo on me and put me in a chokehold, I had rarely been choked properly so this was new. Every time I breathed out I instinctively breathed in but I couldn't get any air and I got light-headed, I was seconds away from passing out before he let go, I got a few punches in while I was on the floor but the lack of air made them weak. After I got up I had a headache and started laughing but my body seriously hurt. My mom said I deserved it for what I put her through last week. John started apologizing but saying he did warn me. I gave them my blessing for they wanted to date officially that day for an unrelated reason.
I have been good about not swearing around my mother, she knows I cuss outside of the house but she's ok with it as long as I don't do it around her. When John ran at me all I could say was “Oh fuck” and before I almost passed out I said “shit” My mom was laughing at me while it happened.
I cannot emphasize enough how fast he pinned me down, I got humbled quickly. My main issue about fighting is I forgot my foot placement and I fall quickly if in the right position. I know this so that's why I rarely fight unless it's for fun. Turns out he rough houses with his entire family and this was just how he acts, she said it's not uncommon for some family members to bleed after and I got it easy. I said he was a supervillain
TLDR My mom's boyfriend joked about fighting me because of an argument I had with my mom and I accepted, then when we fought before I could react he put me in a chokehold and left me with hurt pride and a headache, he had me gasping like a fish.
2024.04.29 06:16 miamental AITA for asking my husband to stop pointing out that I say a place name in an apparently silly way?
I (31 female) have been watching a lot of hockey recently and since I cheer for the Oilers, have been talking a lot about the LA Kings since the Kings are our opponent in the first round of the playoffs. My husband (43 male) has pointed out intermittently over the years that I pronounce LA in a funny way - apparently when I say the city name it sounds like I’m saying ‘allay.’ I’ve been saying the name more recently because of watching the playoffs and almost every time I do, my husband smiles/smirks and then repeats the name back to me the way it’s apparently supposed to be said.
I’ve explained to him that I cannot hear the difference between the way he says it and the way I do and though I try to play the whole thing off, it’s been starting to really get to me because it just makes me feel really self-conscious and like I’m going crazy trying to hear the difference between something I’m not able to.
Tonight he did it again and I once again asked him to stop but he just said that it’s not a big deal and I really shouldn’t take it so seriously. And that if it bothers me so much that he corrects me, I should learn to hear the difference and say it properly. We sat apart for a bit after that because I had responded to him with some attitude and after a while I went downstairs to apologize to him for said attitude and once again ask him to just cool it with correcting me for a bit. The entire time I was talking to him, he was just sitting back in his desk chair and had a smirk on his face. I didn’t think he was taking me seriously and told him so, and he once again repeated that this just me saying something in a silly way and I shouldn’t take it so seriously. I said again that he’s hurting my feelings and asked that maybe he could just learn to live with me saying it a little funny but he responded by saying that now I’m the one asking him to have to listen to my funny pronunciation forever and that I’m “setting him up for failure” because he wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face or stop himself from pointing it out. I finally started crying and it was only then that he apologized for hurting my feelings and I responded that I don’t believe he’s actually sorry and that the only reason he said that was because I started crying. He responded by saying “yeah, that’s how tears work.”
So, AITA for wanting my husband to stop pointing out that I say LA in a silly way?
submitted by miamental to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
I’ve explained to him that I cannot hear the difference between the way he says it and the way I do and though I try to play the whole thing off, it’s been starting to really get to me because it just makes me feel really self-conscious and like I’m going crazy trying to hear the difference between something I’m not able to.
Tonight he did it again and I once again asked him to stop but he just said that it’s not a big deal and I really shouldn’t take it so seriously. And that if it bothers me so much that he corrects me, I should learn to hear the difference and say it properly. We sat apart for a bit after that because I had responded to him with some attitude and after a while I went downstairs to apologize to him for said attitude and once again ask him to just cool it with correcting me for a bit. The entire time I was talking to him, he was just sitting back in his desk chair and had a smirk on his face. I didn’t think he was taking me seriously and told him so, and he once again repeated that this just me saying something in a silly way and I shouldn’t take it so seriously. I said again that he’s hurting my feelings and asked that maybe he could just learn to live with me saying it a little funny but he responded by saying that now I’m the one asking him to have to listen to my funny pronunciation forever and that I’m “setting him up for failure” because he wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face or stop himself from pointing it out. I finally started crying and it was only then that he apologized for hurting my feelings and I responded that I don’t believe he’s actually sorry and that the only reason he said that was because I started crying. He responded by saying “yeah, that’s how tears work.”
So, AITA for wanting my husband to stop pointing out that I say LA in a silly way?
2024.04.29 06:15 are-any-names-left I dying trying to understand if there is certain genres or classifications for different comedies.
I get that different people like different things. I can’t understand why my buddy thinks stuff i like doesn’t make sense and then the opposite. I get we must just be two different people with different tastes, but I feel like there is an element that we differ on.
He HATES the Office and I Think You Should Leave. He hates Portlandia. He does not understand why the “loaded nacho” sketch in ITYSL is funny. He hates the Michael Scott character and says it’s cringey and awkward and too cartoony.
We both like Sunny, and Workaholics. He likes some Curb Your Enthusiasm. He loved Arrested development.
He loves shows like Our flag Means Death and Ghosts and what we do in the shadows. To me these are overacting and childish. There is some element I cannot name that just makes me feel like they are for kids and I feel it’s just not funny. It’s like recycled jokes that just have no thought behind them.
I get that we have different tastes and that’s ok, but IS there an element to them that explains why I don’t like his shows and vice versa. Is there a writing style, content, is it just that his has these costumed characters that make silly voices? The content in the stuff he likes just doesn’t have any wit and is like “sitcommy” if that makes sense.
Any help would be appreciated analyzing our differences.
submitted by are-any-names-left to comedy [link] [comments]
He HATES the Office and I Think You Should Leave. He hates Portlandia. He does not understand why the “loaded nacho” sketch in ITYSL is funny. He hates the Michael Scott character and says it’s cringey and awkward and too cartoony.
We both like Sunny, and Workaholics. He likes some Curb Your Enthusiasm. He loved Arrested development.
He loves shows like Our flag Means Death and Ghosts and what we do in the shadows. To me these are overacting and childish. There is some element I cannot name that just makes me feel like they are for kids and I feel it’s just not funny. It’s like recycled jokes that just have no thought behind them.
I get that we have different tastes and that’s ok, but IS there an element to them that explains why I don’t like his shows and vice versa. Is there a writing style, content, is it just that his has these costumed characters that make silly voices? The content in the stuff he likes just doesn’t have any wit and is like “sitcommy” if that makes sense.
Any help would be appreciated analyzing our differences.
2024.04.29 06:03 TheAutomatron04 A majority of steam game's "joke reviews" are unfunny and annoying
Anytime I go look at the reviews of a steam game to get a general idea of whether I should consider buying a game or not, I find a lot of good, well-thought reviews, HOWEVER, in CLOSE to every game there is a plague of joke reviews. Don't get me wrong, joke reviews can be funny if they're done right and don't purposely misrepresent the reviewer's actual view of the game for "comedy", however there is a plague among these joke reviews that is literally impossible to escape. You read the reviews of a critically acclaimed game, everybody loves it, 97% positive reviews, but what do the reviews say You read them, a bunch of good positive reviews, some of them comical, but then you see a sole negative review -2 hours played in the last 2 weeks / 6 hours played in total -No sex -20 users found this helpful -100 users found this funny What? Is this the actual reason this game isn't at a 100% rating? Because of reviews like this? Same for games that everybody hates! 30% positive reviews? Go read them! All negative, except for one positive review -0.5 hours played in the last 2 weeks / 0.5 hours played in total -No one will ever see this review so ill just say I'm gay -2500 people found this helpful -4200 people found this funny Do people actually find these reviews comical? They're not even original too, the 2 I named are practically copy and pasted under EVERY SINGLE GAME and almost always have a massive amount of people rating it as funny. Just ridiculous.
submitted by TheAutomatron04 to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]
2024.04.29 06:00 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update] - Am I wrong for ultimately wanting a divorce even after my wife has showed much more effort into our relationship?
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/LimpCrazy1824
Originally posted to amiwrong
Previous BoRU
[New Update] - Am I wrong for ultimately wanting a divorce even after my wife has showed much more effort into our relationship?
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Trigger Warnings: possible infidelity, emotional abuse and manipulation, mentions of addictions, emotional affair, mentions of invasions of privacy, verbal abuse
RECAP
Original Post: March 21, 2024
For context. Coming into the new year I had no idea my wife had been at the bare minimum having an emotional affair with a coworker.
On New Year’s Eve before I found out about this she came home and acted extremely cold toward me and our kids. She was angry.
Earlier on that evening she asked if she could go out to have 1 drink with a female coworker (whom I knew and trusted) I told her that was cool but that the kids were staying up for the ball drop so as long as she could be back to celebrate with them I was fine with it.
Well. She ended up getting off of work at 11:30 and barely had enough time to get home.
After the ball drop she cried and cried. I asked her what was wrong and she said she got invited to a her friends house to have drinks with them. (All 3 of them women, all married, I had no issue)
I said “look. I’m not sure what’s wrong and why you’re crying about this. That’s fine. You deserve a girls night out every once in a while I don’t mind watching the kids. Just go”
I put the kids to bed, she left and then about 3 hours later. So 3 a.m. I tried to contact her. No answer. I wait about 15 minutes. Call her again. No answer.
I call her friend who she’s supposed to be with. No answer.
She then texts me back 5 minutes later and says “yeah. I’m still coming home tonight. We’re still drinking”
Never in our 6 years of marriage had I felt a gut feeling that something else was going on but that night it all hit me. I went through our phone records and found another number I was unfamiliar with that she had been in contact with all night.
Ignoring my calls, texting that number in between. Etc.
She had also been texting this number for a 3 month period daily. I never suspected that she would be texting another dude while right beside me watching family movies either. As times had shown. How I didn’t see this I have no idea. Maybe she had this individual listed as mom in her phone. I don’t know. I had never gotten this vibe or feeling our entire marriage. I was blindsided by it.
Anyway. I confront her about it through text with the proof like an idiot. She speeds home, deletes everything on her phone. No way of getting the back ups restored. No way of ever knowing she did not meet up with this guy.
Upon finding this out I immediately told her i wanted a divorce. It was at this point she began getting violent with me. Talking shit about everything I had been doing to keep us financially stable. The 18 hour work days that kept a roof over our heads. She told me that I needed to leave even though I pay rent and both our kids are asleep.
I refused
We slept in separate rooms that night and the next day she tried to act like nothing even happened. Claiming that she remembered we’d fought but couldn’t remember what it was about. So I show her the phone records even though I’m positive she was just trying to pull some crap.
She confesses who the individual was and says they flirted a lot but never met up.
I told her if that was true she’d have no issues restoring the text messages she deleted at which point it was confirmed she deleted everything and deleted her last back up. She also saved a back up after they were deleted the night everything went to shit.
Since then she’s tried hard to convince me they never did anything and never saw eachother aside from work. I keep finding bits and pieces of things that don’t make since.
Chunks of texts deleted from her friends messages around that time. Pictures on her Google drive from that night (where she was with who she said she was) deleted from her phone for what reason?
The most damming evidence I have is for a 2 hour period on New Year’s Eve. They stopped texting each other then randomly started texting again at around 3 a.m. when I started calling and got that feeling.
My gut tells me she left her friends place, went to his place and went back. Or. She went straight to his place from our place then went to her friends when she found out I was calling them.
There are revealing pictures of herself she never sent me also on her Google drive taken on Snapchat.
She’s since given me her all her attention. She initiates intimacy 10 fold. The texting stopped. She shows me everything on her snap chat and even downloads her data to show me she’s not hitting other people up.
I’m seeing the side of her I haven’t seen since we were married all those years ago.
But I can’t help but trust my gut in demanding a divorce. I feel like she’s kept things from me. Not knowing for sure is killing me inside.
My parents know all of this and keep pressuring me to work it out and not dwell. My brothers are saying fuck that get a divorce. Am I wrong in getting a divorce?
Keep in mind the dates. It’s now been over four months since this occurred. I’m positive she cut the individual completely out. But I still can’t get over the not 100 percent knowing and my gut tells me she’s still lying.
Edit: if some of this is confusing ask and I will clarify. I will also give context where needed.
Also. Sorry for the way this was written. I’m aware there is some jumping back and forth. Etc. I’m just scatterbrained right now. It’s honestly getting to me more now than the night I found out. It just keeps building. I feel stupid.
Edit 2: Also. Forgot to add this the individual in question is an employee she manages. As in. She is his direct supervisor. I’ve heard there are greater legal consequences for this but I have no idea.
For clarification. The individual in question is actually morbidly obese. I’m by no means “fit” fit. But I’m not fat either.
Update 1: currently on morning break at work. Been reading through the comments. I have off tomorrow all day so I will be heavily weighing my options when I get some time to myself tomorrow. May not update tomorrow. But I’ll update ya’ll when I can. Thank you for all the input positive and negative. The best thing I can do right now is just get through the work week. Get my kids from daycare and be mentally present for them.
I’ve been ignoring her since last night and she’s been snapping and calling me all morning to see what’s wrong.
Relevant Comments
OOP on his wife lying to him and the family telling him to reconsider divorcing
Update #1: March 25, 2024
Those of you who saw https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/s/HcnwYkadEt
My wife had an emotional affair at the bare minimum and may have cheated. (Probably did but will never admit it)
Here is the update:
I sit here typing this out on my morning break while listening Tuesday’s gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
After a long day of considering my options on Friday I sat my wife down on Friday evening when she got off work and I had out the kids to bed.
As soon as I brought up that my trust in her was completely gone she immediately became argumentative and essentially stated “I thought we had left this in the past. You never trusted me did you?.
I responded with: even if you didn’t do anything physical or met up with him outside of work, you’ll never let me see those text messages. You’ll never pull the snap chat data
She responded with: you’re right!! Marriage is based off trust and if you don’t trust me then maybe we ought to call it quits”
The irony in this is that I worked 18-19 hour days for the past few years barely being able to do anything I wanted to do in my life because I was supporting our children, getting them to bed, cleaning the house all the time, doing all the cooking, barely even getting enough sleep. Probably took years off my life just from the stress.
She on New Year’s Eve said fuck the kids, fuck you, and essentially went out to party with her friends all the while ignoring calls from me and our daughter asking where she was while also responding to her bare minimum emotional affair partner.
Not getting into all the details so as to not repeat myself between this and the update.
Long story short. In my state we have to be separated for a year before a divorce can be finalized.
When I agreed with her that we should start separating and that I had already been in contact with a lawyer she freaked the fuck out on me. She begged me not to go through with it. But alas.
Next Friday I will be dropping her off at her parents a few hours away. The kids will be staying with me for now with the help of one of my brothers.
I told her there was only one way I would put this off for now. That was pull the data, pull the texts. Prove your case.
She looked down at the ground. One more time. And told me that’s a violation of her privacy.
We haven’t spoken since.
For now For my kids
I godda keep on keeping on.
Update: trickle truth:
1st it was a guy in a different state. 2nd it was a coworker 3rd it was someone underneath her. that she supervises 4th and just now - Randomly got a text from her stating she may have told him she loves him. But instantly regretted it. And that’s it”
“Riiiiiiggght” - Dr. Evil.
Also let me reiterate: the process of separation starts this coming Friday. In my state you cannot divorce immediately. It takes a full year. (I say this because of all the people stating “just divorce and be done with it, and also those stating “stop giving second chances.”
Relevant Comments
Scruffersdad: Op, you do realize that your attorney can subpoena her phone records and texts, right? If you believe there was cheating have your lawyer get all those messages. Then you’ll know and she’ll be out of luck.
Last update: https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/s/cN3wYuy7W0
Original post linked in previous update.
Long story short I found out my wife had been having an affair on New Year’s Eve as Ali sat at home with our children. After ignoring calls from not only me but our daughter asking where she was I went through our phone records to see that while she ignored our calls she was accepting calls and texting another number quite frequently.
(For the record it was the first time in over 12 years of being together that I’d ever gotten a gut feeling to do so) never checked them prior to that night.
Called the friends who she was supppsed to be with and they ignored my calls as well.
After confronting her through text at around 4 or 5 a.m. she was home within 5 minutes screaming at me and yelling at me as I tried to sleep. Got blamed for everything even though I’d been loyal and the financial bread winner our entire marriage.
She ended up gaslighting me and trickle truthing as I tried to keep things together for our children.
I’ll spare you all the details as they can be found in previous update and original post.
Fast forward to today: I filed for divorce against my families wishes. (Whole other story also answered in previous update)
We are seperated but the divorce can’t be finalized until next year. (1 year of being seperated is required) She begged and begged for me not to go through with it begged me to stay. Not to toss everything out over “1 little mistake”
Funny how she sees infidelity as “a mistake” that lasted 3 months…. Yeah…
Regardless. I’ve spent a lot of time with my kids. She sees them on weekends if she chooses. (Has only been a couple of times)
I’d love to say that I’m over it all. But I’m still healing. I really did love her and I wish things worked out different. But I can never trust her again.
She tried everything she could sexually to get me to stay. Hell, the day she finally confessed everything I came home to her dressed up like never before ready to go. I declined.
She went as far as offering me head every day for the rest of our lives if I stayed.
I’ve been working and taking care of the kids. It’s harder on them than it is me if i’m being honest. They still don’t understand. I’ve just been telling them mommy has some things she’s “working on” I don’t have the heart to tell them we won’t be a functional household anymore at this time.
Also. My parents haven’t one time talked to reached out to me since I told them I was filing for divorce. Not even to check on my kids or anything.
But I’ve been making this work with the help of my brother and a few good friends.
A few girlfriends from the past have hit me up to see if I want to catch up but. I need to focus on myself and my kids.
Thank you all for reaching out through dming and commenting. ✌️✌️✌️
Relevant Comment
OOP on if his wife has given an apology and if she helped with taking care of the kids
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to amiwrong
Previous BoRU
[New Update] - Am I wrong for ultimately wanting a divorce even after my wife has showed much more effort into our relationship?
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Trigger Warnings: possible infidelity, emotional abuse and manipulation, mentions of addictions, emotional affair, mentions of invasions of privacy, verbal abuse
Original Post: March 21, 2024
For context. Coming into the new year I had no idea my wife had been at the bare minimum having an emotional affair with a coworker.
On New Year’s Eve before I found out about this she came home and acted extremely cold toward me and our kids. She was angry.
Earlier on that evening she asked if she could go out to have 1 drink with a female coworker (whom I knew and trusted) I told her that was cool but that the kids were staying up for the ball drop so as long as she could be back to celebrate with them I was fine with it.
Well. She ended up getting off of work at 11:30 and barely had enough time to get home.
After the ball drop she cried and cried. I asked her what was wrong and she said she got invited to a her friends house to have drinks with them. (All 3 of them women, all married, I had no issue)
I said “look. I’m not sure what’s wrong and why you’re crying about this. That’s fine. You deserve a girls night out every once in a while I don’t mind watching the kids. Just go”
I put the kids to bed, she left and then about 3 hours later. So 3 a.m. I tried to contact her. No answer. I wait about 15 minutes. Call her again. No answer.
I call her friend who she’s supposed to be with. No answer.
She then texts me back 5 minutes later and says “yeah. I’m still coming home tonight. We’re still drinking”
Never in our 6 years of marriage had I felt a gut feeling that something else was going on but that night it all hit me. I went through our phone records and found another number I was unfamiliar with that she had been in contact with all night.
Ignoring my calls, texting that number in between. Etc.
She had also been texting this number for a 3 month period daily. I never suspected that she would be texting another dude while right beside me watching family movies either. As times had shown. How I didn’t see this I have no idea. Maybe she had this individual listed as mom in her phone. I don’t know. I had never gotten this vibe or feeling our entire marriage. I was blindsided by it.
Anyway. I confront her about it through text with the proof like an idiot. She speeds home, deletes everything on her phone. No way of getting the back ups restored. No way of ever knowing she did not meet up with this guy.
Upon finding this out I immediately told her i wanted a divorce. It was at this point she began getting violent with me. Talking shit about everything I had been doing to keep us financially stable. The 18 hour work days that kept a roof over our heads. She told me that I needed to leave even though I pay rent and both our kids are asleep.
I refused
We slept in separate rooms that night and the next day she tried to act like nothing even happened. Claiming that she remembered we’d fought but couldn’t remember what it was about. So I show her the phone records even though I’m positive she was just trying to pull some crap.
She confesses who the individual was and says they flirted a lot but never met up.
I told her if that was true she’d have no issues restoring the text messages she deleted at which point it was confirmed she deleted everything and deleted her last back up. She also saved a back up after they were deleted the night everything went to shit.
Since then she’s tried hard to convince me they never did anything and never saw eachother aside from work. I keep finding bits and pieces of things that don’t make since.
Chunks of texts deleted from her friends messages around that time. Pictures on her Google drive from that night (where she was with who she said she was) deleted from her phone for what reason?
The most damming evidence I have is for a 2 hour period on New Year’s Eve. They stopped texting each other then randomly started texting again at around 3 a.m. when I started calling and got that feeling.
My gut tells me she left her friends place, went to his place and went back. Or. She went straight to his place from our place then went to her friends when she found out I was calling them.
There are revealing pictures of herself she never sent me also on her Google drive taken on Snapchat.
She’s since given me her all her attention. She initiates intimacy 10 fold. The texting stopped. She shows me everything on her snap chat and even downloads her data to show me she’s not hitting other people up.
I’m seeing the side of her I haven’t seen since we were married all those years ago.
But I can’t help but trust my gut in demanding a divorce. I feel like she’s kept things from me. Not knowing for sure is killing me inside.
My parents know all of this and keep pressuring me to work it out and not dwell. My brothers are saying fuck that get a divorce. Am I wrong in getting a divorce?
Keep in mind the dates. It’s now been over four months since this occurred. I’m positive she cut the individual completely out. But I still can’t get over the not 100 percent knowing and my gut tells me she’s still lying.
Edit: if some of this is confusing ask and I will clarify. I will also give context where needed.
Also. Sorry for the way this was written. I’m aware there is some jumping back and forth. Etc. I’m just scatterbrained right now. It’s honestly getting to me more now than the night I found out. It just keeps building. I feel stupid.
Edit 2: Also. Forgot to add this the individual in question is an employee she manages. As in. She is his direct supervisor. I’ve heard there are greater legal consequences for this but I have no idea.
For clarification. The individual in question is actually morbidly obese. I’m by no means “fit” fit. But I’m not fat either.
- went back and looked at the time stamps for the pictures that were deleted of her and her friends that night. (On Google drive) before that 2 hour period of no texting, during, and after there were several pictures taken with verified time stamps on them. As in they can not be changed on Google drive. Whether or not she has a friend that’s tech saavy and was able to do that within the 10 minutes it took her to get home upon confronting I don’t know. Is this possible?
Update 1: currently on morning break at work. Been reading through the comments. I have off tomorrow all day so I will be heavily weighing my options when I get some time to myself tomorrow. May not update tomorrow. But I’ll update ya’ll when I can. Thank you for all the input positive and negative. The best thing I can do right now is just get through the work week. Get my kids from daycare and be mentally present for them.
I’ve been ignoring her since last night and she’s been snapping and calling me all morning to see what’s wrong.
Relevant Comments
OOP on his wife lying to him and the family telling him to reconsider divorcing
OOP: I’ll be honest with you. The two main reasons I’ve tried to tuff it out are 1) the kids. Even though she pretty much said fuck all of us on New Year’s Eve.InevitableTrue7223: Did she come home acting extremely cold or did she work until 11?
And 2) for some reason my parents have really been pressuring me to stay. (It’s fucking with me and I don’t know why)
They keep reminding me that (no one in this family has ever gotten a divorce. Blah blah blah) they said I’ll most likely never end up seeing my children again even though in my state if a spouse is found to have cheated, this essentially gives up their rights to children if a divorce is filed
I really don’t understand how my own parents can sit there and feed me bull crap stories about people they know that went through it and came out a better couple. (Really feels like they’re taking her side in everything that happened while ignoring every truth)
OOP: Silence. Our daughter ran up to her for a hug and she started crying. She then got really irritated when our daughter asked her for a drink. Something that still doesn’t sit right with me. She started yelling at her saying “mommy needs some fucking space”
When I tell ya’ll there was literally no sign of all this crap until that. She hid everything extremely well.
Also. For everyone saying what they are about the 2 hour period. Yes. That was my thought. I went back through the Google drive at everything that was removed from her phone. There were pictures and selfies taken with her friends at the place she was “supposed to be” during that time period before it and after it. I doubt she’s tech Saavy enough to edit time stamps on Google drive once everything’s backed up. This isn’t to say they never met up. This isn’t to say she doesn’t know how to do that. And it still doesn’t make a difference with everything she did. Like I said. Weighing options tomorrow. Reaching out to a lawyer tomorrow.
Update #1: March 25, 2024
Those of you who saw https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/s/HcnwYkadEt
My wife had an emotional affair at the bare minimum and may have cheated. (Probably did but will never admit it)
Here is the update:
I sit here typing this out on my morning break while listening Tuesday’s gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
After a long day of considering my options on Friday I sat my wife down on Friday evening when she got off work and I had out the kids to bed.
As soon as I brought up that my trust in her was completely gone she immediately became argumentative and essentially stated “I thought we had left this in the past. You never trusted me did you?.
I responded with: even if you didn’t do anything physical or met up with him outside of work, you’ll never let me see those text messages. You’ll never pull the snap chat data
She responded with: you’re right!! Marriage is based off trust and if you don’t trust me then maybe we ought to call it quits”
The irony in this is that I worked 18-19 hour days for the past few years barely being able to do anything I wanted to do in my life because I was supporting our children, getting them to bed, cleaning the house all the time, doing all the cooking, barely even getting enough sleep. Probably took years off my life just from the stress.
She on New Year’s Eve said fuck the kids, fuck you, and essentially went out to party with her friends all the while ignoring calls from me and our daughter asking where she was while also responding to her bare minimum emotional affair partner.
Not getting into all the details so as to not repeat myself between this and the update.
Long story short. In my state we have to be separated for a year before a divorce can be finalized.
When I agreed with her that we should start separating and that I had already been in contact with a lawyer she freaked the fuck out on me. She begged me not to go through with it. But alas.
Next Friday I will be dropping her off at her parents a few hours away. The kids will be staying with me for now with the help of one of my brothers.
I told her there was only one way I would put this off for now. That was pull the data, pull the texts. Prove your case.
She looked down at the ground. One more time. And told me that’s a violation of her privacy.
We haven’t spoken since.
For now For my kids
I godda keep on keeping on.
Update: trickle truth:
1st it was a guy in a different state. 2nd it was a coworker 3rd it was someone underneath her. that she supervises 4th and just now - Randomly got a text from her stating she may have told him she loves him. But instantly regretted it. And that’s it”
“Riiiiiiggght” - Dr. Evil.
Also let me reiterate: the process of separation starts this coming Friday. In my state you cannot divorce immediately. It takes a full year. (I say this because of all the people stating “just divorce and be done with it, and also those stating “stop giving second chances.”
Relevant Comments
Scruffersdad: Op, you do realize that your attorney can subpoena her phone records and texts, right? If you believe there was cheating have your lawyer get all those messages. Then you’ll know and she’ll be out of luck.
OOP: Definitely going to happen. I’ve already been in contact with one and in the state I live in if there was infidelity she essentially loses any choice in the matter of where the kids stay.tab1234566788: Oh gosh I'm so sorry. I've been in a similar situation, he wouldn't show me the texts. Spent about a half hour clearing then and then let me see his phone. Lol.
OOP: For me it’s pretty black and white. I’m 99.99999 percent sure she physically cheated. I’d love to just believe her and move on but I can’t.
Not only did she delete all texts between them. She deleted all texts from multiple friends and coworkers from that same time as well.
But left the ones from prior and after. As far as I’m concerned her friends were in on it and so was anyone else she deleted texts from.
----NEW UPDATE----
Update #2: April 22, 2024Last update: https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/s/cN3wYuy7W0
Original post linked in previous update.
Long story short I found out my wife had been having an affair on New Year’s Eve as Ali sat at home with our children. After ignoring calls from not only me but our daughter asking where she was I went through our phone records to see that while she ignored our calls she was accepting calls and texting another number quite frequently.
(For the record it was the first time in over 12 years of being together that I’d ever gotten a gut feeling to do so) never checked them prior to that night.
Called the friends who she was supppsed to be with and they ignored my calls as well.
After confronting her through text at around 4 or 5 a.m. she was home within 5 minutes screaming at me and yelling at me as I tried to sleep. Got blamed for everything even though I’d been loyal and the financial bread winner our entire marriage.
She ended up gaslighting me and trickle truthing as I tried to keep things together for our children.
I’ll spare you all the details as they can be found in previous update and original post.
Fast forward to today: I filed for divorce against my families wishes. (Whole other story also answered in previous update)
We are seperated but the divorce can’t be finalized until next year. (1 year of being seperated is required) She begged and begged for me not to go through with it begged me to stay. Not to toss everything out over “1 little mistake”
Funny how she sees infidelity as “a mistake” that lasted 3 months…. Yeah…
Regardless. I’ve spent a lot of time with my kids. She sees them on weekends if she chooses. (Has only been a couple of times)
I’d love to say that I’m over it all. But I’m still healing. I really did love her and I wish things worked out different. But I can never trust her again.
She tried everything she could sexually to get me to stay. Hell, the day she finally confessed everything I came home to her dressed up like never before ready to go. I declined.
She went as far as offering me head every day for the rest of our lives if I stayed.
I’ve been working and taking care of the kids. It’s harder on them than it is me if i’m being honest. They still don’t understand. I’ve just been telling them mommy has some things she’s “working on” I don’t have the heart to tell them we won’t be a functional household anymore at this time.
Also. My parents haven’t one time talked to reached out to me since I told them I was filing for divorce. Not even to check on my kids or anything.
But I’ve been making this work with the help of my brother and a few good friends.
A few girlfriends from the past have hit me up to see if I want to catch up but. I need to focus on myself and my kids.
Thank you all for reaching out through dming and commenting. ✌️✌️✌️
Relevant Comment
OOP on if his wife has given an apology and if she helped with taking care of the kids
OOP: Ah. Sorry. Yes. She sent me a half assed confession while I was at work through snap chat one day. Bawling hysterically telling me she fucked up and kissed him “1 time” after he walked her to her car. I don’t believe that for one second. I said “if that’s all then prove it by providing me with the messages you deleted”
Once again I was met with “that’s an invasion of my privacy, plus if I was in your position I would just want to forgive, forget and move on”
Easy for the cheater to go ahead and say.
I pressed it a few more times and was met with “trust me you don’t want to read that shit!!!! Why would you want to read that!?!?!”
Case closed.
Edit: going to vent for a second. I’ll be honest with ya’ll. I tried to give her one final chance to talk things through. I told myself the minute she got hostile about it all I was done.
Within 5 minutes of “our final talk” I was being blamed for working too much. I quote “this isn’t a fucking trial. You weren’t perfect either. I was practically screaming for help and you let me drown”
I took the kids to daycare, cleaned the house all the time, picked them up after work, put them to bed, did all the cooking, did the dishes, took on a side hustle to give her a dream vacation which we went on just before her affair started. (Which is where a good few of ya’ll may know me from - the side hustle)
The real kicker I didn’t tell ya’ll about was when I went through her phone that first night I saw messages from her and her mom talking about how she felt a disconnect. That I wasn’t what she wanted anymore (months before her affair began) Her mom highly encouraged her to sit me down and explain the way she felt. She even told her mom that she did. (She never did)
Apparently sitting me down and having a talk was her going off and having an affair.
I gaurantee she’ll never find someone that will treat her the way I did. Breakfast in bed Saturday and Sunday. I woke up with the kids so she could sleep in for years. She gave it all up for someone who can’t even cover their own bills and still lives with mommy and daddy. The only thing he had that I didn’t was more time because of a part time job.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.04.29 05:58 Lilith__Night Frustration and brain fog
Frustration and brain fog.
So..I come here looking for advice, insight, or input.
I have do many things I want to do in a day, and a part of me ended up rising to the task, and saying "why don't we make a to-do list?"
So we did! Albeit it became more of a mental to-do list as we recognized that I'll stop feeling a task and the more I try to force myself to do it or to continue, the longer it takes, so it was better to move that to the next day..
So we continued like that for a few days..however I constantly felt myself getting really frustrated. I downloaded an app to help me track and name my emotions and..it just seemed like I was constantly frustrated. Like it was all I felt.
Because,
Ans these tasks where things like, reply to friend, draw, make notes, and while some things I needed to do like cleaning ect..there were mostly things I want to do.. (and even some of them crossed over to I want & need to do this)
And to give more context I'm unemployed and currently live with fam.. so you can perhaps imagine what my "to-do list" is.
Which looking back and seeing how frozen I was and even further back to my entire life..I feel like I'm "living" more than I usually have.. because I have friends I want to keep with, I have hobbies I do, and I ended up joining a writing rp group, and I never realized how extremely social that is..even if we're all playing characters, there's so many stories, situations, and emotions that get put into it. And I feel like it's funny for me to say this but it's extremely enriching? (Especially when it mimic a 'real world', meaning that dictates the pace of how fast things move & how everyone's characters interact with the world)
Hence I want to be emotional present for it.. and it frustrates me when brain fog gets in the way and I "disappear" when I want to write..
And throughout everything, I notice I'll get brain fog when something is too much, and it's odd how much I can physically feel it as a pressure in the front of my head..(not really a headache, it doenst hurt, just a sensation)
But it's hard to manage and navigate that brain fog because it always pops up.. and I know it's because "stress" but why stress? There's always so many reasons, sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I find something unpleasant, but it's hard to always navigate what exactly it is, and manage it.
I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post, but I was just wondering if someone had advice on, I suppose, how to manage frustration..? Or maybe a better question, what's a way to come up with a to-do list and go about it? Because it really does end up becoming just "a list", and it seems like I have a drive to focus solely on that and push my emotions away, when that was never the intended purpose of having a "to-do list".
submitted by Lilith__Night to InternalFamilySystems [link] [comments]
So..I come here looking for advice, insight, or input.
I have do many things I want to do in a day, and a part of me ended up rising to the task, and saying "why don't we make a to-do list?"
So we did! Albeit it became more of a mental to-do list as we recognized that I'll stop feeling a task and the more I try to force myself to do it or to continue, the longer it takes, so it was better to move that to the next day..
So we continued like that for a few days..however I constantly felt myself getting really frustrated. I downloaded an app to help me track and name my emotions and..it just seemed like I was constantly frustrated. Like it was all I felt.
Because,
- I couldn't complete everything I wanted in a day.
- I set a reasonable goal, and set it to the moon instead of the stars, when I actually want to go to Mars, (hey that rhymes but I hope that makes sense.)
- And another part of my frustration was that I'll stop feeling other emotions.. like I got frustrated at myself for not being emotionally present..despite frustration being an emotion, it was just all I felt.
Ans these tasks where things like, reply to friend, draw, make notes, and while some things I needed to do like cleaning ect..there were mostly things I want to do.. (and even some of them crossed over to I want & need to do this)
And to give more context I'm unemployed and currently live with fam.. so you can perhaps imagine what my "to-do list" is.
Which looking back and seeing how frozen I was and even further back to my entire life..I feel like I'm "living" more than I usually have.. because I have friends I want to keep with, I have hobbies I do, and I ended up joining a writing rp group, and I never realized how extremely social that is..even if we're all playing characters, there's so many stories, situations, and emotions that get put into it. And I feel like it's funny for me to say this but it's extremely enriching? (Especially when it mimic a 'real world', meaning that dictates the pace of how fast things move & how everyone's characters interact with the world)
Hence I want to be emotional present for it.. and it frustrates me when brain fog gets in the way and I "disappear" when I want to write..
And throughout everything, I notice I'll get brain fog when something is too much, and it's odd how much I can physically feel it as a pressure in the front of my head..(not really a headache, it doenst hurt, just a sensation)
But it's hard to manage and navigate that brain fog because it always pops up.. and I know it's because "stress" but why stress? There's always so many reasons, sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I find something unpleasant, but it's hard to always navigate what exactly it is, and manage it.
I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post, but I was just wondering if someone had advice on, I suppose, how to manage frustration..? Or maybe a better question, what's a way to come up with a to-do list and go about it? Because it really does end up becoming just "a list", and it seems like I have a drive to focus solely on that and push my emotions away, when that was never the intended purpose of having a "to-do list".
2024.04.29 05:58 Smrjma7 I know who I am but I feel like I can’t be who I am because of my friends
When I first moved to my town in first grade I was really shy and that’s how I was my whole life and I had one friend in my old town but I wanted that to change. To make friends I started lying about the stupidest things and yelling out in class to be “funny” and to make everyone laugh. Doing that got me friends making me wanna do it even more and escalate it and that’s what I did. From second grade to now I’ve been known as the loud class clown who was never serious. And I didn’t realize how much this whole “being funny” thing affected me. For example just a couple days ago I started crying for something unrelated to this in front of 2 of my friends and instead of their first instinct to be comforting me it was to start laughing and saying “omg stop joking we know your not serious” and “lift her hair you’ll see she’s faking” when I wasn’t. After 5 whole minutes of me crying they finally start to realize I’m being serious and then they wanna start asking “what’s wrong, why are you crying, what happened” as if a couple seconds ago they weren’t laughing in my face. And at that point I wasn’t even crying about the thing I was originally crying about, I was crying because I realize how little my friends valued my feelings. Maybe that’s an overreaction but idk. But another thing that’s always happens is whenever I tried to stand up for myself around anyone they always laugh it off and don’t even apologize. In fact, everything I do people laugh. There was this one time we had to write a monologue about a fictional character and I made up this character named “Jack” and he was known to be a happy person but all along he was just faking it and eventually he just couldn’t fake it anymore so he separated himself from all his friends, he was always quiet, sad and different from how he used to be. After I read the story to my English class for months people who make jokes to me bout the character and laugh at me saying shit like “oh what happened to jack did he kill himself” “how’s jack doing” but that story was supposed to be about me. And although everything that happened to “jack” didn’t happen to me but everything I felt was transferred into the character and everyone found it funny. No one takes me seriously. I know who I am and who I’m developing into but I’m can’t be who I am because the person I’ve been portraying all these years is not the same person I actually am and that’s something I fear I’ll just have to live with.
submitted by Smrjma7 to Vent [link] [comments]
2024.04.29 05:57 OMADKetoKid Reached out of 17 years. She wont tell me if shes married.
There is a lot to unpack here, so I'll try to keep it small. The person I am speaking about is my first love; we were both first loves for each other. She was 16, and I was 19. Her mom at the time would let me stay over late, and we were close. We were firsts for everything. She then realized she was attractive, and then broke it off with me and hooked up with a guy I couldn't stand. It shattered me. I tried to make it work, becoming insecure and paranoid. We then became on and off for the next seven years. Very toxic, and looking back on the whole thing, I was weak. I had a terrible childhood and grew up very poor. She was well off (brand new cars, parents paid for fancy college, dorm, etc.). I never fully forgot her, and we never said goodbye. Just one day, she never replied or responded to my calls/emails, etc. (2007, before ex no contact was a thing). I moved away for a few years and came back, and I finally let her go.
Now fast forward. I have a family, a nice wife, two awesome kids. I still think of her; sometimes I'll just be doing something and a song will come on, and I will pause and think of her when the times were good. I think our relationship was predicated on deep emotional intimacy, probably stemming from being first loves. I never really found that, even with my wife; I never really get that "super ultra intense I need you" feeling. So, when I think of her, I also think of those moments. I miss that intensity.
I contacted her in January; I sent an email to an old address, and she replied near immediately. I then followed up, telling her I would like to see how we changed and learn about how we changed as people and parents. No reply. Then, a month later, I decided to message her on Facebook. Now, prior to sending her that initial email, she had a friend button; after sending the email, her "add friend" button disappeared, and I also noticed she appeared to remove some tagged posts. No biggie, I would not want to be her Facebook friend anyway; she has some guy in the pictures with her and three children. I messaged her, and at first, she was very what I would describe as distant but very responsive. Then gradually she warmed up, and I was sending her small videos of myself, and she said she was so happy I reached out to her after all these years. "It's so surreal to hear from you again; it's like I am dreaming," "the times we shared were so intense, it felt so good, I start to feel like I am there with you again, but I can't out of respect" (not sure what she meant; I didn't ask her to elaborate; I didn't want things to turn sexual). Those are a few of the comments that stood out. We talk about memories and funny things that happened. We would talk about once a week on Facebook Messenger.
But here is the weird part; every time I ask her about her relationship status, she either doesn't answer or changes the subject. This last time, I told her I couldn't really move forward without knowing if she is married. (Her last name has never changed, and there is nothing to indicate she is still in a current relationship.) She flipped out, said it is none of my business, she can't share whatever she wants, and when I said, "in my defense, marriage is a very public thing," "I have always wondered all these years if you found someone who loved you," she said I am the same person I used to be, and she finds my request for her marital status "disturbing"; she then restricted me on messenger (not a real block) Literally was going well right up to that.
I am actually not sad it went sideways over a seemingly simple request. It very much was similar to how it used to be (I would ask for something simple, and she would flip out and say I am asking for too much and disappear for a few days). The feeling of walking on egg shells was something I had completely forgotten about.
I am actually glad this is over. But I can't get over why her marital status is such a big deal. In my mind, I think she knows if I knew, I might stop messaging her. I also thinks she may be real narcissist. ( I know everyone says that but I don't have this issue with other exes.)
PS. One of the reasons I reached out. I was kind of hoping for a sorry from her. (Never got it)
submitted by OMADKetoKid to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
Now fast forward. I have a family, a nice wife, two awesome kids. I still think of her; sometimes I'll just be doing something and a song will come on, and I will pause and think of her when the times were good. I think our relationship was predicated on deep emotional intimacy, probably stemming from being first loves. I never really found that, even with my wife; I never really get that "super ultra intense I need you" feeling. So, when I think of her, I also think of those moments. I miss that intensity.
I contacted her in January; I sent an email to an old address, and she replied near immediately. I then followed up, telling her I would like to see how we changed and learn about how we changed as people and parents. No reply. Then, a month later, I decided to message her on Facebook. Now, prior to sending her that initial email, she had a friend button; after sending the email, her "add friend" button disappeared, and I also noticed she appeared to remove some tagged posts. No biggie, I would not want to be her Facebook friend anyway; she has some guy in the pictures with her and three children. I messaged her, and at first, she was very what I would describe as distant but very responsive. Then gradually she warmed up, and I was sending her small videos of myself, and she said she was so happy I reached out to her after all these years. "It's so surreal to hear from you again; it's like I am dreaming," "the times we shared were so intense, it felt so good, I start to feel like I am there with you again, but I can't out of respect" (not sure what she meant; I didn't ask her to elaborate; I didn't want things to turn sexual). Those are a few of the comments that stood out. We talk about memories and funny things that happened. We would talk about once a week on Facebook Messenger.
But here is the weird part; every time I ask her about her relationship status, she either doesn't answer or changes the subject. This last time, I told her I couldn't really move forward without knowing if she is married. (Her last name has never changed, and there is nothing to indicate she is still in a current relationship.) She flipped out, said it is none of my business, she can't share whatever she wants, and when I said, "in my defense, marriage is a very public thing," "I have always wondered all these years if you found someone who loved you," she said I am the same person I used to be, and she finds my request for her marital status "disturbing"; she then restricted me on messenger (not a real block) Literally was going well right up to that.
I am actually not sad it went sideways over a seemingly simple request. It very much was similar to how it used to be (I would ask for something simple, and she would flip out and say I am asking for too much and disappear for a few days). The feeling of walking on egg shells was something I had completely forgotten about.
I am actually glad this is over. But I can't get over why her marital status is such a big deal. In my mind, I think she knows if I knew, I might stop messaging her. I also thinks she may be real narcissist. ( I know everyone says that but I don't have this issue with other exes.)
PS. One of the reasons I reached out. I was kind of hoping for a sorry from her. (Never got it)
2024.04.29 05:50 Next_Blueberry_2823 Help name my kitten - I like generic human names or outrageous names, thinking Joey but as a nickname for something funny/longer
 | submitted by Next_Blueberry_2823 to NameMyCat [link] [comments] |
2024.04.29 05:47 AsInTheJar Research Inquriy about Matthew Broderick's car crash in 1987
Hi.
My name is Mason & I'm a Canadian EQI/ DEI communicator. I spend most of my time researching & writing about diversity, equity, inclusion, prejudice, and allyship often with a special interest in how these things intersect with media & pop culture. I'm posting here because I'm trying to research for an article I'm writing about cancel culture and accountability and I guess because I hate myself (why else would I choose the hardest things to research?) I've chosen to use Matthew Broderick as one of the examples I'm using in the multitude of points I have to make. However because I try to do my diligence and dig into the finer details I need to see things related to the case. Like court records or transcripts.
My assumption is that the reporting probably hasn't covered the full bredth of things like his lawyer's actual arguments, or exactly how the accident was caused. However, I reached out to the Northern Ireland Department Of Justice & though they've passed my request on to the right department I was told the documents I'm looking for were probably destroyed in compliance with the DOJ's documents policy at the time. So I'm looking for contemporary and local sources that covered the story in 1987 who may have had copies of court documents as part of their reporting or who were in the court room at the time while taking notes. Not being from Northern Ireland I'm not familiar with the legacy media orgs around Tempo (where the accident happened) and I'm a little tenacious so I'd like to see how much more there is to this story.
And for the record, I am on your side that it is a travesty and seems like a miscarriage of justice. but for my purposes I need to do my diligence and see where the rabbit hole goes.. I don't know what local newspapers, TV stations, or radio stations covered the story in 1987. I don't know what law firm represented him (I assume it was someone local, though) and if I could be directed to any of these sources it would be very helpful, if they'll talk to me. My interest is for what was said in that courtroom in or around 1987. Where should I look? Who can I contact?
Thank you for your time, consideration, and response.
submitted by AsInTheJar to northernireland [link] [comments]
My name is Mason & I'm a Canadian EQI/ DEI communicator. I spend most of my time researching & writing about diversity, equity, inclusion, prejudice, and allyship often with a special interest in how these things intersect with media & pop culture. I'm posting here because I'm trying to research for an article I'm writing about cancel culture and accountability and I guess because I hate myself (why else would I choose the hardest things to research?) I've chosen to use Matthew Broderick as one of the examples I'm using in the multitude of points I have to make. However because I try to do my diligence and dig into the finer details I need to see things related to the case. Like court records or transcripts.
My assumption is that the reporting probably hasn't covered the full bredth of things like his lawyer's actual arguments, or exactly how the accident was caused. However, I reached out to the Northern Ireland Department Of Justice & though they've passed my request on to the right department I was told the documents I'm looking for were probably destroyed in compliance with the DOJ's documents policy at the time. So I'm looking for contemporary and local sources that covered the story in 1987 who may have had copies of court documents as part of their reporting or who were in the court room at the time while taking notes. Not being from Northern Ireland I'm not familiar with the legacy media orgs around Tempo (where the accident happened) and I'm a little tenacious so I'd like to see how much more there is to this story.
And for the record, I am on your side that it is a travesty and seems like a miscarriage of justice. but for my purposes I need to do my diligence and see where the rabbit hole goes.. I don't know what local newspapers, TV stations, or radio stations covered the story in 1987. I don't know what law firm represented him (I assume it was someone local, though) and if I could be directed to any of these sources it would be very helpful, if they'll talk to me. My interest is for what was said in that courtroom in or around 1987. Where should I look? Who can I contact?
Thank you for your time, consideration, and response.
- Mason.
2024.04.29 05:43 lukqb Stiff hands and numb face when feeling a strong emotion. Reddit, you're my last hope.
INTRODUCTION Hello Reddit, this is something I have suffered from for around 5 years. I went to many doctors, but they didn't seem interested. Maybe I didn't describe my symptoms in good enough detail, or there were other reasons. In any case, I will try to do my best here since I don't know what else to do, it's affecting my life real bad.
ME I am a 19 year old male. 177cm in height, around 70kg. Perfeclty healthy my whole life, minor knee problems when I was in rapid growth in 8th grade. I'm not taking any medications, and never anything specific other than over the counter antibiotics when I had colds. That's it. Tried vitamins, magnesium, b12, iron, but nothing really impacted what was happening.
SYMPTOMS My symptoms go like this: Whenever I feel a strong emotion (90% of the time only good emotions) like euphoria, excitement or some general anxiety my hands go stiff, all 5 of my fingers stiffen up into a fist, or sometimes they form some weird shape, like gripping a computer mouse for example. 4/5 times when this happens my face and neck start feeling numb and kind of lock up as well, cause me to talk a bit funny, having trouble to lift my tongue and make certain sounds.
These symptoms don't occur everytime I feel something, rather they just pop at random times when feeling a strong emotion. Sometimes it could be a day or two that it didn't happen. Sometimes it happens multiple times a day.
I have tried everything to pinpoint when or why it happens. It does not matter if I'm thinking about this exact thing, but it did happen two me once or twice while I was explaining this to someone else.
It mostly happens when im feeling excited about something, rather positively.
A lot when driving. I really love driving and have done it much more than I can stress here, but it usually does happen when I drive. Not always, not at any precise point in the trip. It can be at the beginning, the end, the middle, any point really.
If I hadn't talked or thought about a topic that excites me in a long time and then I did, it would most likely happen. Generally when I talk to people about certain things and get excited, It would happen. It is really shameful and I try to hide it.
EXTREME INCIDENT #1 I had an extreme incident with this problem as well. When I was on my last day of a vacation, this happened the morning of when we were about to leave. Half an hour before it happened, I didn't really feel anything, due to other reasons I was feeling a bit sad, but mostly just stoic and cold. Then all of a sudden it started attacking, but instead of only my arms, It went everywhere. Everything locked up, my legs, shouldes, back,, even my neck, which meant I couldn't really breathe properly, and I was talking in a very funny way, kind of like a speech impediment. Luckily, and I cannot stress enough how lucky I was, there was a hospital with an ER, 50 meters away. My friends kind of nudged me there, I was barely walking, looked like a penguin. Explained to my doctors what was happening and they were really confused. They saw I was in a lot of pain and was talking real funny, so they mixed up some medicine into a syringe and gave it to me, into my butt muscle. I felt A LOT of pain, and was in that same pain for the next 45 minutes till I passed out. The pain was something I never experienced before, the doctors said the medicine would kick in in around 5 minutes but as I said, 45 minutes of me rumbling and screeching in pain, while barely moving, since that would probably cause my shoulders to pop out of place or really any other joint.
EXTREME INCIDENT #2 I train high diving, but a traditional form of it which does not really involve all those flips, but rather going into the water head first. I've been competing in it for only the past 3 years. This condition always affected me but, as there are two rounds per competition, it would go away in the second round as all the tension finally breaks. And it was mild as well.
But one year I got hurt in a competition. Hit my head on a rock at the bottom of the river I was diving in. Turned out I was fine, no change in my life, no change in the condition after that. Next year when I came back to the same place to compete, I felt this sense of impeding doom. So much tension building, I had 2 competitions 2 days before and I was relatively fine and the attacks didn't occur as much or as hard as the would normally. But that thay I got so locked up, so stiff I couldn't open my fists even when forcing the two really hard against one another. My neck also stiffened up and I couldn't talk properly, this all happened like 10 to 15 minutes before the dive. Well, they yelled my name, I got onto the diving position of the bridge, and honestly I never dove worse. Thankfully I didn't get hurt but I hit the water in a very weird way and it was painful. I was just happy I was alive, but one thing that stuck with me is that this time it didn't go away. All the tension broke off, I didn't even make it into the 2nd series so I had nothing to worry about, but the attack still lasted for around 20 to 30 minutes.
From that moment I am scared to continue practicing this sport. :(
DOCTOR'S NOTES After the first incident, I went to the doctors in my own country, with a discharge note from my visit to the ER which basically said I had a stronger reaction to stress, they didn't really know why.
I went to a neurologist, explained my symptoms basically the same as I did here.
He did those standard coordination tests and questions I guess all of them do, passed those perfectly I think. He told me he can only wait for results of my tests to come back, if there's nothing - I'm on my own.
Got an MRI, EEG, EKG, urine and blood tests. Nothing.
Neurologist and radiologist said they haven't seen a healthier brain in a while...
I felt devastated, he's like a top neurologist in my country as well.
I also went to a private clinic, since this was a state owned hospital. Did some tests there, brought the tests from the state hospital for a second opinion. They told me the only possible thing they can think of is like a vitamin or mineral deficiency. Nah, tried all of the things they prescribed with no effect or correlation to my condition.
They all seemed so uninterested, maybe because I'm a teenager, maybe I didn't paint enough of a picture of how much it really effects me and just thought it is regular stress that I'm not coping with very well. Reddit, I would like to tell you after 5 years of experimenting with this, it really isn't only stress. I had many, many, worse, more traumatic, serious events happen to me, reacting perfectly normal as anyone else would, I'd say even more rational and thoughtful as compared to others. While some of these other situations that can't be even considered stressful in my opinion lock me up real bad.
Please help, nobody in my life is interested in this, I'm thinking of quitting high diving because it affects that as well and I don't want to lose my head because of this, since it is an extreme sport.
Thanks to all of you in any case, even if you just read this.
submitted by lukqb to AskDocs [link] [comments]
ME I am a 19 year old male. 177cm in height, around 70kg. Perfeclty healthy my whole life, minor knee problems when I was in rapid growth in 8th grade. I'm not taking any medications, and never anything specific other than over the counter antibiotics when I had colds. That's it. Tried vitamins, magnesium, b12, iron, but nothing really impacted what was happening.
SYMPTOMS My symptoms go like this: Whenever I feel a strong emotion (90% of the time only good emotions) like euphoria, excitement or some general anxiety my hands go stiff, all 5 of my fingers stiffen up into a fist, or sometimes they form some weird shape, like gripping a computer mouse for example. 4/5 times when this happens my face and neck start feeling numb and kind of lock up as well, cause me to talk a bit funny, having trouble to lift my tongue and make certain sounds.
These symptoms don't occur everytime I feel something, rather they just pop at random times when feeling a strong emotion. Sometimes it could be a day or two that it didn't happen. Sometimes it happens multiple times a day.
I have tried everything to pinpoint when or why it happens. It does not matter if I'm thinking about this exact thing, but it did happen two me once or twice while I was explaining this to someone else.
It mostly happens when im feeling excited about something, rather positively.
A lot when driving. I really love driving and have done it much more than I can stress here, but it usually does happen when I drive. Not always, not at any precise point in the trip. It can be at the beginning, the end, the middle, any point really.
If I hadn't talked or thought about a topic that excites me in a long time and then I did, it would most likely happen. Generally when I talk to people about certain things and get excited, It would happen. It is really shameful and I try to hide it.
EXTREME INCIDENT #1 I had an extreme incident with this problem as well. When I was on my last day of a vacation, this happened the morning of when we were about to leave. Half an hour before it happened, I didn't really feel anything, due to other reasons I was feeling a bit sad, but mostly just stoic and cold. Then all of a sudden it started attacking, but instead of only my arms, It went everywhere. Everything locked up, my legs, shouldes, back,, even my neck, which meant I couldn't really breathe properly, and I was talking in a very funny way, kind of like a speech impediment. Luckily, and I cannot stress enough how lucky I was, there was a hospital with an ER, 50 meters away. My friends kind of nudged me there, I was barely walking, looked like a penguin. Explained to my doctors what was happening and they were really confused. They saw I was in a lot of pain and was talking real funny, so they mixed up some medicine into a syringe and gave it to me, into my butt muscle. I felt A LOT of pain, and was in that same pain for the next 45 minutes till I passed out. The pain was something I never experienced before, the doctors said the medicine would kick in in around 5 minutes but as I said, 45 minutes of me rumbling and screeching in pain, while barely moving, since that would probably cause my shoulders to pop out of place or really any other joint.
EXTREME INCIDENT #2 I train high diving, but a traditional form of it which does not really involve all those flips, but rather going into the water head first. I've been competing in it for only the past 3 years. This condition always affected me but, as there are two rounds per competition, it would go away in the second round as all the tension finally breaks. And it was mild as well.
But one year I got hurt in a competition. Hit my head on a rock at the bottom of the river I was diving in. Turned out I was fine, no change in my life, no change in the condition after that. Next year when I came back to the same place to compete, I felt this sense of impeding doom. So much tension building, I had 2 competitions 2 days before and I was relatively fine and the attacks didn't occur as much or as hard as the would normally. But that thay I got so locked up, so stiff I couldn't open my fists even when forcing the two really hard against one another. My neck also stiffened up and I couldn't talk properly, this all happened like 10 to 15 minutes before the dive. Well, they yelled my name, I got onto the diving position of the bridge, and honestly I never dove worse. Thankfully I didn't get hurt but I hit the water in a very weird way and it was painful. I was just happy I was alive, but one thing that stuck with me is that this time it didn't go away. All the tension broke off, I didn't even make it into the 2nd series so I had nothing to worry about, but the attack still lasted for around 20 to 30 minutes.
From that moment I am scared to continue practicing this sport. :(
DOCTOR'S NOTES After the first incident, I went to the doctors in my own country, with a discharge note from my visit to the ER which basically said I had a stronger reaction to stress, they didn't really know why.
I went to a neurologist, explained my symptoms basically the same as I did here.
He did those standard coordination tests and questions I guess all of them do, passed those perfectly I think. He told me he can only wait for results of my tests to come back, if there's nothing - I'm on my own.
Got an MRI, EEG, EKG, urine and blood tests. Nothing.
Neurologist and radiologist said they haven't seen a healthier brain in a while...
I felt devastated, he's like a top neurologist in my country as well.
I also went to a private clinic, since this was a state owned hospital. Did some tests there, brought the tests from the state hospital for a second opinion. They told me the only possible thing they can think of is like a vitamin or mineral deficiency. Nah, tried all of the things they prescribed with no effect or correlation to my condition.
They all seemed so uninterested, maybe because I'm a teenager, maybe I didn't paint enough of a picture of how much it really effects me and just thought it is regular stress that I'm not coping with very well. Reddit, I would like to tell you after 5 years of experimenting with this, it really isn't only stress. I had many, many, worse, more traumatic, serious events happen to me, reacting perfectly normal as anyone else would, I'd say even more rational and thoughtful as compared to others. While some of these other situations that can't be even considered stressful in my opinion lock me up real bad.
Please help, nobody in my life is interested in this, I'm thinking of quitting high diving because it affects that as well and I don't want to lose my head because of this, since it is an extreme sport.
Thanks to all of you in any case, even if you just read this.
2024.04.29 05:42 Ladyj2121 Can anyone help me?
My alcoholic husband relapsed about 3 weeks ago after being over three years sober. He was mean, he was violent, he was nasty. My 11 year old son stopped him from hitting me. He was almost arrested but I regretfully talked the police out of arresting him. Since then he has told me he is filing for divorce once he sells enough of our stuff that I have never said he could sell so he can afford a lawyer. He changed his direct deposit. He has called me named via text and over the phone. My oldest son is scared of him and scared that he will hurt us. I only have access to the money he decides to give me he changed his direct deposit. I can’t afford a lawyer. He is trying to make it so our house gets foreclosed on. I am so scared for me and my kids and I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I should add that we are safe.
submitted by Ladyj2121 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
2024.04.29 05:42 lauz11 My ex boyfriend named his child after me
I 20f started dating my now ex boyfriend 25m back in 2021, we met at work and hit it off right away despite our age difference, he also at the time had a 1year old daughter to a previous relationship, which I had no issue with, he shared joint custody of his daughter and told me he didn’t have a good relationship at the time with her mother, they were pretty much no contact except for when it came to him picking up and dropping off his daughter. For context the mother also lived 2hours away, to my knowledge she didn’t know me and didn’t know he was in a new relationship, and I only very rarely saw his daughter out of respect, he didn’t want to introduce us untill the relationship was more serious, which I 100% understood.
Fast forward we have been dating for nearly a year, and I go away with some of my friends over new years, a trip I had pre booked only a few months into us dating, I invited him to come but he had work and had also agreed to watch his daughter so the mother could go out NYE.
I come home on the 5th of Jan, and he is acting really weird, so I ask his female roommate who at this point I had become very close with if anything was wrong. She told me that he was been in a bad mood since NYE, because his ex (his daughters mother) had gotten really drunk and lost her wallet and called him asking for a lift back home, she still lives 2 hours away, apparently he wanted to make sure she got home safe so he drove her. Now I didn’t really see an issue with this it is the mother of his child so I understand wanting her to get home safe. But when I asked him if he had done anything on NYE he lied and said no, throughout the next few weeks I keep asking if he had seen his ex or if anything had happened and he continued to tell me he hadn’t even seen her that night. 2 months pass and he is continuing to act weird and finally confessed one night that he took his ex home and slept with her. I immediately end the relationship.
Then a month later I get curious and decide to stalk the ex’s social media and find she had posted a pregnancy announcement captioned “thank god my kids have the same baby daddy”
I was shocked and upset but honestly not surprised and got over it very quickly. Then 9 months later I bump into his roommate, we have some small talk and found out that the ex gf had given birth and the daughters name was my name, which I wouldn’t class as an overly common name, there are defiantly names that sound similar that are more common. And no my ex and the ex gf weren’t together at the time she gave birth. I never confronted him about it because it’s just a funny story now but clearly I had terrible taste in men.
submitted by lauz11 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
Fast forward we have been dating for nearly a year, and I go away with some of my friends over new years, a trip I had pre booked only a few months into us dating, I invited him to come but he had work and had also agreed to watch his daughter so the mother could go out NYE.
I come home on the 5th of Jan, and he is acting really weird, so I ask his female roommate who at this point I had become very close with if anything was wrong. She told me that he was been in a bad mood since NYE, because his ex (his daughters mother) had gotten really drunk and lost her wallet and called him asking for a lift back home, she still lives 2 hours away, apparently he wanted to make sure she got home safe so he drove her. Now I didn’t really see an issue with this it is the mother of his child so I understand wanting her to get home safe. But when I asked him if he had done anything on NYE he lied and said no, throughout the next few weeks I keep asking if he had seen his ex or if anything had happened and he continued to tell me he hadn’t even seen her that night. 2 months pass and he is continuing to act weird and finally confessed one night that he took his ex home and slept with her. I immediately end the relationship.
Then a month later I get curious and decide to stalk the ex’s social media and find she had posted a pregnancy announcement captioned “thank god my kids have the same baby daddy”
I was shocked and upset but honestly not surprised and got over it very quickly. Then 9 months later I bump into his roommate, we have some small talk and found out that the ex gf had given birth and the daughters name was my name, which I wouldn’t class as an overly common name, there are defiantly names that sound similar that are more common. And no my ex and the ex gf weren’t together at the time she gave birth. I never confronted him about it because it’s just a funny story now but clearly I had terrible taste in men.
2024.04.29 05:37 did_you_say_food 35 [M4F] - #Austin, TX Coffee and conversation
Hey! Thanks for stopping by! The weekend is over, but I went and saw The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare abs it was pretty good. I'm a transplant from Michigan, coming up on 2 years here and I have to admit I miss the lakes. What I'm looking for is a long-term relationship, hopefully, you are too. You know, someone to say good morning and goodnight to. Share funny memes with(because that's a love language right?!) and chat throughout the day. Preferably a permanent cuddle buddy because who doesn't love to cuddle?
My latest, most exciting recent experience was flying a small plane over downtown Austin and it was awesome. I've really gotten into pickling jalapeños and give them out to my co-workers. They have told me I need to start a stand at a farmers market. I still need to try my hand again at growing some fresh herbs like mint, chives, thyme, etc. I did not inherit a green thumb by any means and the last time I attempted this, they did not survive. Who knew growing plants was so hard?! I love to travel, and I’m always looking for the next place I'll go. A travel buddy would be great as well! I'm laid back and enjoy spending a night in and binge-watching a show or enjoying a new movie. I’m sad Shogun is over, it was absolutely fantastic.
Some things I like:
Improving with Yoga. If you have any Yoga tips, send them my way!
Cooking - I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at cooking and love trying out new recipes
Good Conversation - Let's talk about anything and everything, how was your day? What did you find super hilarious at work today?
Video Games - Though I haven't really been playing much at all recently. My go-to game right now is League of Legends. I am open to trying out other games though!
Traveling - The furthest I've been is China. I have also enjoyed visiting Cancun, Canada, and traveled around the States quite a bit. I need to get back to Charleston because it's such a cool city and the seafood is chef's kiss!
Music - Send me a playlist or band recommendations. Bonus points if you know who Motion City Soundtrack is! (I'm excited they are coming to Austin in June! Maybe a date night?)
Coffee - Recently purchased an Aeropress and I'm in love
Tattoos - I've got 3 currently and will probably get more in the future. If you have any I would love to see them and hear the story behind them.
Some details about me if you are wondering: I'm 6' tall and totally rock a dad bod but have been working towards getting in shape. Here are a few pictures of me and my dog: https://imgur.com/a/ol0rlgc
Warning, if we do talk, you will receive endless pictures of my dog doing cute things. Her name is Pepper by the way.
I've got my life fairly together, a solid job, my own place, and a car. I'm just looking for that special someone to add to my life and spent time with. Looking for someone that at least eventually wants to meet. So, if you are looking for online only, that’s not my thing. I find it best to meet up in person and see how it goes from there rather than just endlessly chat on the internet.
Please attach a picture of yourself with your message and thanks for tuning in! :)
submitted by did_you_say_food to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
My latest, most exciting recent experience was flying a small plane over downtown Austin and it was awesome. I've really gotten into pickling jalapeños and give them out to my co-workers. They have told me I need to start a stand at a farmers market. I still need to try my hand again at growing some fresh herbs like mint, chives, thyme, etc. I did not inherit a green thumb by any means and the last time I attempted this, they did not survive. Who knew growing plants was so hard?! I love to travel, and I’m always looking for the next place I'll go. A travel buddy would be great as well! I'm laid back and enjoy spending a night in and binge-watching a show or enjoying a new movie. I’m sad Shogun is over, it was absolutely fantastic.
Some things I like:
Improving with Yoga. If you have any Yoga tips, send them my way!
Cooking - I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at cooking and love trying out new recipes
Good Conversation - Let's talk about anything and everything, how was your day? What did you find super hilarious at work today?
Video Games - Though I haven't really been playing much at all recently. My go-to game right now is League of Legends. I am open to trying out other games though!
Traveling - The furthest I've been is China. I have also enjoyed visiting Cancun, Canada, and traveled around the States quite a bit. I need to get back to Charleston because it's such a cool city and the seafood is chef's kiss!
Music - Send me a playlist or band recommendations. Bonus points if you know who Motion City Soundtrack is! (I'm excited they are coming to Austin in June! Maybe a date night?)
Coffee - Recently purchased an Aeropress and I'm in love
Tattoos - I've got 3 currently and will probably get more in the future. If you have any I would love to see them and hear the story behind them.
Some details about me if you are wondering: I'm 6' tall and totally rock a dad bod but have been working towards getting in shape. Here are a few pictures of me and my dog: https://imgur.com/a/ol0rlgc
Warning, if we do talk, you will receive endless pictures of my dog doing cute things. Her name is Pepper by the way.
I've got my life fairly together, a solid job, my own place, and a car. I'm just looking for that special someone to add to my life and spent time with. Looking for someone that at least eventually wants to meet. So, if you are looking for online only, that’s not my thing. I find it best to meet up in person and see how it goes from there rather than just endlessly chat on the internet.
Please attach a picture of yourself with your message and thanks for tuning in! :)