I am 55 my wife 37. I have two boys. My eldest passed away when he was 16. My youngest son is 30. I have a 3 year old grandson. My wife has a 10 year old son. My wife was a widow having lost her husband when my step son was a baby so she has had a rough time along with my step son obviously.
Both my wife and step son have adhd. They were diagnosed after I insisted they seek treatment as their behaviour is very challenging.
I have put a lot of effort into helping them having been financially responsible for them both. My wife does not help me pay the bills despite my request that she does. I have coached my step sons soccer team, take him places, pay for his education etc etc. I have tried my hardest to build a relationship with him.
I have currently taken long service leave and I am responsible for the school runs so my wife can work. My step son can be difficult in the mornings because of his ADHD. It can be hard motivating him.
I have worked out a system that if he gets up and gets ready for school, eats his breakfast etc etc he can have 10 to 15 minutes of play station.
This is a system that has worked very well with little difficulty. I have sat and watched my wife get him ready and it is chaos. It is frustrating to watch. I have worked out what works and what doesn’t.
My wife one morning without my knowledge or any discussion with me decided that she didn’t want him playing the game in the morning as it damages his brain. Mind you I only give him max 15 minutes on it. I discussed it with her and explained my routine with him and how he is rewarded for good behaviour and this system works best. She apologised and agreed with me.
The next morning she did the exact same thing followed by more discussion and she did it again a third day in a row. I had a heated discussion with her and told her if she doesn’t like my parenting she can either get a baby sitter or take him to school herself I am not here to be her bitch. She apologised and I thought it was over and settled. She did it again and this time I let fly and told her she is interfering in my relationship with my step son and she is undermining me. Again if you don’t like my parenting do it yourself. Her only answer was that I must have found someone else. Even writing this I am getting a headache.
When she said this I walked into my room to calm down and of course she followed me. I kept telling her to leave me alone until I calm down. Anyhow she thinks she is the victim. She told me playing the play station will damage his brain I said undermining me and allowing him to be disrespectful without any recourse will damage his brain.
Mind you her brother 44 years old lets him stay up all night playing it and that is ok.
She has done this sort of things numerous times and it does my head in. I have told her if a man comes along and is willing to treat your son like his own child you do not show disrespect you should be grateful.
I was a single father and raised my boys only to lose my eldest. I am no stranger to grief or parenting.
I have told her I am not interested if she is going to continue to disrespect and undermine me. She can do it herself. I am over it.
The sad part is my step son will lose a father for a second time and my wife is blind to it.

So, like many of us in this Reddit space are here to share stories from a time when we were naïve and probably convinced we were with our soulmate. at the timing of the end of this relationship, I was 23 (m) she was 22 (f). We really were only together for about a year and a half. However, there was some history between us that encouraged us to get together in the first place after our previous relationships. We knew each other for about five years at the time we got together. And we got together very fast after fairly lengthy relationships. The thing is, she had an apartment and her ex moved out. I kind of slowly started staying around a lot after he moved out and about 6-7 months into the relationship we moved in together into a new apartment and everything up to that point was so amazing.
I was very acclimated with her family. She wasn’t very much acclimated with mine actually. There was a dog in the middle that we had but it was technically her dog, but that dog does love me so much and I miss that dog so much now. Very skittish dog and the love was very apparent when I was around because I basically took a lot of responsibilities and taking care of the dog from the second I started being around. Now to the actual point of where this leads to…
So this year January, she broke up with me. It was very apparent, and there were writings on the wall that the spark was kind of gone and it was just hard to be around each other. Very ironic, but probably some type of psychological explanation because I swear I had so many opportunities to talk to new woman, but I valued loyalty more than anything to her and wanted to make things work no matter how hard. The next thing you know, she is noticeably, distant, asking for space and very hostile all the time. I kept telling her hey why do I just feel like your roommate and not your boyfriend anymore? you know I never had thought of anything suspicious from her side because I was convinced that she loves me. She’s basically had a crush on me you know since we were very young, as I said five years before we even got together she had a thing for me.
Now there were some crisis stages of living together where I am actively learning about God in my life and trying to place God as the pedestal for the way that I live my life, and those values differed. But at the end of the day, I accepted our differences and wanted to make it work, but it was very hard and I didn’t really see the sacrifices. She was willing to make for me. Now by no means was I perfect. I had a lot of flaws when it came to dealings with certain things and maybe not being reassuring in the ways that I was supposed to. However, my love for her was through the roof. She’s made me feel like nobody else ever has in my life and before her I was in a four-year relationship. So fast-forward, she breaks up with me on the same day that actually bought a new car (paid cash) which is something I thought she would be very excited for me about because my old car was a piece of junk and we usually took her car around. And I told her and she was absolutely expressionless.
As soon as that was the case, I was in a very dark state immediately. Prior to this there is a few days that I was really trying to get things rolling and some positive way between us and again it was just a matter where the spark was gone and she didn’t really want anything to do with me and it was making me so sad and frustrated. After I came home telling her that I bought a new car and she didn’t respond I start questioning her on a whole Lotta things and eventually she spills out that she no longer has feelings for me and says we’re broken up. Immediately, I’m in shambles. I think it was a Tuesday and the next day was a Wednesday where we normally spent all of our time together. I’m crying all night. I sleep in a separate room and see you was just quiet. The next Wednesday she goes out doesn’t really say anything and this is what was the hardest part. The person that I loved more than anyone in the world basically just stopped telling me anything and sharing anything with me.
She leaves the next morning. I tried to pull information out of her for her to tell me she was going apartment touring. That broke me as well. There was about 10 weeks left on the lease. I couldn’t even begin to think about that. However, I have to plead with her to keep her location on because I’m concerned about her and I still admittedly loved her, and all I wanted to do was reconcile and try to find a place of comfort. And her location she turned it off and turned it on and then it was like kind of weird on my phone, but eventually, I was basically stalking her because I was that insecure. She goes to one place and then another place and she’s gone all day and doesn’t tell me a thing. There is a place that she went to that confused me but I guess I excused it because she said she was apartment touring but it didn’t really make a lot of sense. This one place later on becomes an an answer to me. I talked to my family and friends and they basically accused her of cheating and I wasn’t having it because I couldn’t handle any more pain honestly.
Fast forward, though for the next two months basically we still live together and she was still being very secretive and I’m still hurting more and more. It was a very traumatic experience to just watch this girl I love change and be so different around me and I couldn’t feel any different way. It was really affecting me on a daily basis every single day and night. And that’s because I was admittedly, too emotionally dependent on her. it became very apparent that she was basically seeing someone else and wouldn’t fess up to it so quickly however this person wasn’t a boyfriend according to her because she wanted to be single. But she’s not coming back overnight, so I’m like where are you sleeping? She says don’t worry about it. I’m doing everything around the apartment. I’m taking care of the dog that it’s technically hers that I love a lot yes but you know. Sometimes she would come back and we would still often sleep in the same bed because I couldn’t sleep on the couch because that would just be very physically uncomfortable for me.
She was doing this and again I just had to live with it mind you she’s also told me some things like hey I believe in the right person wrong time idea and I still love you . It only gave me hope but it also put me through so much more pain as well. So just from a matter of how fast she was moving on to seeing another guy I feel like that should’ve been a key indicator, but I kept asking her if she cheated on me. She never said she did. I tried my absolute best to believe her every time. She also got approved for an apartment and had a roommate with some person who I didn’t really trust in the past, but I see now that that person is not significant in why the relationship broke. However, something that I have yet to mention is that she never really told a single person about our break up not family or friends. I wouldn’t have survived if I can tell no one because I was just going through it. You know I think this traumatic phase in my life and it’s making me realize that I think I have ADHD too.
Anyways, she was basically slowly moving out while I had my attempts to move out to a new place that kind of failed. I moved back in with my parents because of the roommate dependency of other people wasn’t working too well. Mind, you still pretty much through our time continuing to live together while I am deeply scarred and depressed. I am still actively trying to reconcile the relationship in someway. I was basically reflecting on everything that I did wrong and trying to better it while I was still living with her. That and I was just doing so many nice things like making all her meals and doing so many nice things for the dog buying things here and there. I was acting as a complete Simp believe me I hated it, but I missed her. At the same time I did not hate it though because I genuinely like doing things for other people and she was my outlet for that often.
Nonetheless, towards the end of the time before she moved out officially this is a part where I found out she cheated on me. There was about two weeks left on the lease or so. Quick note because I forgot to mention that we stopped having sex probably for a good amount of time and a red flag that I couldn’t overlook is the fact that she said she needed sex where I didn’t feel as I always desired it because it should be sacred. This could’ve very well been the nail in the coffin for her. Even though so many other things were good in my opinion she and I did not share the same values..
So we both wake up, she has an appointment to be at in the morning. I make food in the morning and I offered some. She takes a shower and gets changed in the bedroom. She left her phone in the bathroom unlocked and I looked through with major hesitation. Text showed nothing but then I showed that flo app (where women track their period and when they have sex)… my heart caught on fire. To see the amount of times she was having sex and also before we broke up, hurt me so bad but not as bad as I thought it would at the same time. I couldn’t look much further honestly, but I got my answer and I had to research to make sure I was looking at that correctly. I then questioned her, she would not admit and basically decided to move out that night, officially which put me in a pretty tough spot because she took the Internet.
I’m a big person on faith I’ve kept in touch with her somewhat and I’m doing my absolute best to forgive her. But I definitely cannot forget. What’s weird is that after we officially moved out the apartment and everything together she started sharing her location with me on Snapchat. Mind you I have a suspicion of who she was cheating on me with because I was investigating you know. I’m definitely more handsome and charismatic. I now notice her go to the same place she went to the day after we broke up pretty often. It’s not where she lives. It’s pretty close to her work. Do the math. I have tried to talk to her a few times about this topic and she certainly gets uncomfortable every time it is brought up. I just wanted it told from her for my closure, but I guess I don’t need it.
But yeah, that experience, especially living together after the break up was not fun and I don’t recommend it for anyone. I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through that. The lesson that i learned is that it can take two to build something great but only one to destroy it. Therefore, build something great on your own. Someone will be waiting there when you’re done.

I always thought I had a semi- OK relationship with my mother in law. We had some issues years back in the first years of my husband and I's relationship. She didn't like me correcting her parenting advice or old wives tale medicinal beliefs- like going out in the cold causing a cold, or asking antibiotics for viral infections, ext. Also we had to take a step back due to her not following the potty training protocols put in place for our daughter and my MIL complaining of accidents due to her not following the potty training routines. I had believed us to be past this. She often makes jokes at my expense or jabs at my parenting choices disguised as bad jokes. She also gives me lots of dirty looks and makes a big stink if I spend any time with the kids and my side of the family. She also ignores me and lets me talk to her with no eye contact or acknowledgment from her whatsoever. She just lets me talk and pretends she doesn't hear me when I am right next to her speaking clearly just feet away. She even began talking to someone else right in the middle of my sentence. Yet another petty thing- she won't ever compliment my cooking, or my parenting. I am a former chef and love to cook and bake. I make my own sourdough bread, all my kids meals from scratch, and love to nourish and show people love with food. She won't ever tell me she enjoys my cooking- though I have heard through the grapevine some of my dishes are the best she's had…. She also has never once said I am a good mom- and I take my parenting very seriously. I homeschool my kids and raise them in a very “old school” way- playing outside, no tablets and low TV time, very Montessori style… my kids are some of the best behaved I have seen and yet she seems to try to take care of it… when my kids are complemented at a restaurant for example- my MIL will say, “that's because Grammy’s here”…. I think I have painted a decent picture of how things have been.

 Through all of this, I have bitten my tongue and taken things in stride. Taking her insults disguised as jokes as just that- bad jokes. I walk on eggshells so as to not make her look bad or show her up on anything, and try to make he feel good by complimenting her outfits, food, ext…. After this last Mother’s Day, I will no longer be doing that and we will be taking a step back. The day began with her arriving to the Grandparents cabin 2 hours late, giving hugs all around… when her daughter wishes her a Happy Mother's Day she says “some day Ill be saying that to you…” then when I got up to hug her (holding my 2-month-old) and wish her a Happy Mothers Day she curtly says “thanks” and looks me up and down with a death glare. Then later when we were all dishing up for lunch she made a comment about how he should be making her a plate and not mine… to which I said “Hey I’m a mom, too… I’m in the trenches”- for context, I have 4 kids 5 years old and under one very fresh- only 2 months postpartum for me. She then says “Well, I made it to the other side…” “ I said “Absolutely you have done well, someday I’ll get the other side” to which she said “I don't know we’re taking bets over here. Don't think you'll make it”. She said this half-jokingly, half not- in a cruel and mean way… as if to punish me for taking her son away. The rest of the day she was very rude. Did all of the usual things plus more side eyes and death glares. My husband plans to speak with her but I can't help but think I am being THAT daughter in law… how can I draw a boundary in a way that she can't use against mer? My husband is going to draw a boundary but I really want to tell her personally how much she has hurt my feelings, and stand up for myself. Is this a bad idea? Any feedback is greatly appreciated. 

Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, I’ll get so frustrated that I will incessantly berate myself. It usually happens after I’ve done something wrong socially, and I will feel so embarrassed/frustrated that I feel like I HAVE to punish myself. It used to be more physical I.e. punching my steering wheel until my hands bruise, or digging my nails into the back of my hands to the point I draw blood (I still do that sometimes), but it can also be verbal. For example it will feel like I can’t help but yell at myself, calling myself stupid, cringe, useless, etc. obviously none of these are good coping methods and it has taken a toll on my mental health as one could imagine. I know I should probably talk to someone about it, but 1. It’s so embarrassing I can’t imagine revealing that to someone, and 2. If I get an autistic diagnosis it could cost me my career of 10 plus years.
I’m mostly just curious if this is indicative of an autistic meltdown, if anyone else experiences this, and any suggestions on how to cope? I’ve been like his for so long it’s so difficult to control. Fortunately I don’t do it around others (though I will berate myself in my head) but it’s still takes a toll on me.
I’m just trying my best here but it never seems to work :/

So long story short, I wasted my twenties, essentially by being isolated NEET at worst/day dreaming starving artist at best. It wasn't maybe exactly as dour as that sounds, I wasn't hermit or anything but my point is that career wise and socially I haven't really made any progress since leaving high school and after that dropping out of college shortly after.
But now I'm trying to claw my way back. I'm back in college studying to become civil engineer and luckily in my country (Northen Europe) there is pretty good demand for that profession so I should have okay-ish job when I graduate in about three years. But I'll still be 35 year old graduate just starting my career so in any objective sense I'll still be compete looseer, but for me personally even that feels like great achievement after all those years living on a dole as a pathetic NEET.
But this leaves me at very difficult position dating wise. I've never had a girlfriend and I have no idea how I could get one in this situation. Women of my age have been working for years and I'm still living poor as fuck student life that they left years ago. I can't really date younger women either because even though some younger women may like older men, they like them precisely for their experience and because they are more established. But I'm none of those things so I'm basically just as poor and unepxerienced as younger guys + I'm old so there's no reason for anyone to date me. And I certainly won't try to flirt with younger women in my classes because I'm already afraid that they think I'm creepy looser because I'm still college student even though I'm more than 10 years older than they. So in college I just concentrate on studying and not any social stuff. But I don't meet any women of my age because I'm living college student live and they are working.
So again, I don't know what else I could do other than wait till I graduate? But if I do wait I'll be 35 year old trying to find my first girlfriend. And let's be real, it'll probably even then take couple more years to get even somewhat established in my new career and to get my finances stabilised. So I'll probably be close to 40 when I'll be eligible for dating for the first time. By that point women my age will have worked for almost 20 years (so much richer than me), either married or divorced and with children. And then there'll be me, trying to still find my first relationship. Ridiculous. I'm still trying to claw my way back to light so to speak but it's slowly starting to seem that it won't matter. It's probably already over. And it never even began.
Not to be just negative. I guess I have some okay qualities too. I'm 6 feet tall, I'm very well read and passionate about culture and arts so I suppose I could be interesting partner for somebody into things like literature or cinema. But those are kinda intellectual things and not really enough to get anyone interested about me as a romantic partner. And in some sense all that intellectual and artsy stuff is just negative I guess because women into those things are probably were successful, so if I was more of a redneck type of guy I'd had more in common with more bluecollar type of women.
I'm not good looking enough to have any matches on Tinder so that's not an option either. Cold approaches and PUA stuff certainly doesn't work for me and again, now that I'm getting older it would be just creepy and pathetic. So I don't even know where I could meet any women of my age? I've been thinking of starting to take tango lessons but if that doesn't work I don't really know what to do. I need help.
I feel like time is running out and now that I'm 32 it's my last chances finding relationship. But at the same time I'm in a situation that is so pathetic that I can't really date before I graduate and get a job. Because like I mention in my title, I don't even now what demographic of women I could date.

New cat owner, first time posting. I just adopted a cat two weeks ago from China, and he’s had a fairly rough time adjusting but has been getting braver and exploring more and more of my place.
He’s been behaving fine these past two weeks and even last night, but today when I came home I discovered two piles of vomit on the floor. Nothing too crazy, my family had a cat growing up and it looked like the standard fur ball kind of throw up. I cleaned everything up and went to cook, and when I came back, literally 15 minutes after, he’s thrown up again, this time a pile of fairly undigested dry food (which he just ate as I cleaned) and an orange plastic label that I literally have no idea where it came from. He’s acting normal, as far as I can tell I don’t think he’s giving overt pain signals, but I’m so scared and can’t stop freaking out. Should I take him to the vet or do anything else aside from just watch him?? Please help!!

When Annika woke up, she found herself floating inside her apartment. Her now abandoned apartment. She walked out of the apartment where she used to live and saw the calendar. Three years have passed and it is now 2024. She then saw a mysterious woman surrounded by the darkness and walked over to her. She introduced herself as Iris.
"What happened to me?" she asked. Iris pondered for a moment before saying, "Well, you have been dead for a long time since you were murdered by your son."
"Oh," she said, the sadness forming on her face. "But don't worry, there is one way for you to reach the afterlife," Iris said to her. "You need to confront the ones who have mistreated you and banish them back to hell."
"But how would I do that?"
She took out some string and two jars with the names of her former husband and son. "Your son was killed when he tried to murder his therapist, yes?" he inquired. Annika was confused, but she nodded anyway.
"Well, all you have to do is tie up your son with the string and say the words, 'I banish thee to this jar!' three times and then use these bottle caps to seal him away so that he can never come out," she explained. "Are you willing to take on this momentous task?"
Annika nodded and Iris smiled. "Good. Now bring me the impure souls of your husband and son and make sure to keep them properly sealed."
Once the woman left, Annika began her quest to find the malevolent spirits of the one who used her to get what he wanted and the one who killed her. As she continued, Annika noticed red eyes peering down on her. She tried to keep walking, but the eyes continued to follow her and the next thing she knew, someone lunged at her.
It was the ghost of her son, Benedikt Dorfmann as he tried to strangle his mother screaming, "I HATE YOU, MOM! I HATE YOU!" Annika knew she had to do something before he ended her afterlife.
Soon, she found something she could use a weapon(the crowbar)and she bashed Benedikt's head with it and soon, he fell unconscious immediately. This gave her enough time to open the jar and say the magic words, "I banish thee. I banish thee. I banish thee." The spirit was then pulled all the way into the jar and Annika sealed the jar really tight. Whew. She thought with a sigh of relief. One down, one left to go.
As she packed up her things, Annika sensed a drop in the temperature. She picked up the pace and looked around to see if there was any sign of Hendrik, her former husband. Then, she saw a tall man with dark brown hair and red eyes. She began to back away, but the man continued to follow her.
Just as Annika was about to run, the man began to run after her. In his pursuit, he yelled, "ANNIKA! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!" Annika refused to look back and just kept running for miles and miles until she found herself backed into a corner.
"You were supposed to love me!" he screamed at her, the anger bubbling in his vocal cords. "Why won't you love me anymore!?" Annika took a deep breath and said in a low voice, "You think I would love you again after what you did to my first love? You took all of that away from me and you should be ashamed of yourself for it."
Hendrik pleaded for forgiveness, but it was too little too late as Annika took out the last jar and said the words, "I banish thee! I banish thee! I BANISH THEE!"
In that moment, Hendrik found himself getting dragged into the bottle and he could not only see all of the horrible things he did, but also the sins his ancestors committed from his great uncle Stefan murdering the girls in his mansion to his great-great grandfather beating up one of the Jews during the Nazi era. He continued to scream until he was forced into the jar and Annika sealed it shut.
Later, as Annika gave the jars back to Iris, she smiled back at the woman who helped her and soon, a bald-headed man in black robes came to take the souls away back to hell before vanishing in the darkness. A flight of stairs then appeared before them and together, Annika took Iris' hand as they ascended to heaven.

Hello, hope you all are well. Thank you for taking the time to read.
I’m a 28F, only meds are oral vitamin D and topical tretinoin on the face. Only major medical history is a benign phyllodes tumor removed from my left breast, chronic back/joint pain and chronic/frequent migraine (~3-5 a week).
My main complaint is this lesion spotted on my elbow. Noticed yesterday so no known changes. It isn’t raised. Non-painful and not itchy. No immediate family history of skin cancer. I have lived in high risk areas all my life (Australia and Florida). I wear sunscreen on my arms when outside for long periods but not religiously everyday.
I have a derm appointment scheduled in a little over a month but just want to know if I should try to get in sooner. Thanks again!
https://imgur.com/gallery/KeOmiiJ

TLDR: we added artist quests / it should make the game more fun / cheaper to merge than buy / give us feedback
The new update v1.22 is out on the app store! We added artist quests where you can merge songs based on requirements to open a favorite artist loot box. I want to take a moment to explain why we added the feature. As always, please give us feedback
When we first released Soundmap, we weren’t really sure if there was a “goal” people would play towards. It turns out one of the major goals for many is to collect the full discog of their favorite artists. We introduced badges to incentivize the collection behavior, but it still wasn’t clear on how to approach the game. The old meta became: collect songs, sell common/uncommon, use coins for fav artist lootbox, and repeat. It's ok, but it can be better and way more fun. We wanted to come up with a way so that progression is more clear, more types of songs/trades can go on, more flexibility in leveling for different levels and artists, and a better platform to add more tasks in the future.
Artist quest is the best idea we had. We believe that with the right execution, it SHOULD work without disturbing the current market (tho rares are a bit cheaper than where we want it). With the new artist quest update:

• Quests will ask you to merge songs from different genre, rarity, and initial letters
• Quests scale in difficulties as you progress through an artist’s discog. It’ll be easier at first and gradually increase in difficulties
• In any case, we’ve adjusted the coin values of all the quest requirements and they should all be in the 1k-2k coin range. As a result, we increased the price of paying for an artist loot box to 3k. It should always be cheaper to merge songs instead of using coins
• We also made quests easier for artists who don’t spawn in map drops. We’d love to see more underground artists in the app and artist quests can now hopefully bring more of them in
• If a quest is too difficult, you have 3 re-roll options per day across all artist quests
• You can do as many quests as you want in a day. We took out the 3 “quests” a day limitation

We’d love to see people trading more as a side effect of quests, particularly for songs that were previously not “useful” in the game. If you are into trading, there’s now a different meta where you can coin farm from those who need different type of songs for trading. If you are into collecting, you can continue to open map drop and progress just with getting more songs, without selling or trading much. Please note that we are still designing shiny loot box (tbd on if/when) and we are still assessing the difficulties of different quests. Please let us know if a particular quest is too difficult.
In the future, we’d love to potentially tie into your streaming # or doing certain online action for the artist. Next update will have global comment wall (for song holders only) and a few QoL improvements. After that we need some time to catch up on Android… Prediction, Aux battle, new music alerts, better playlist managements are still being designed and will be added eventually

My partner (M) and I (F) (both 26) have an 8 month old baby. We are both first time parents and got pregnant with our accidental miracle quite early in our relationship but just felt it was right. We also own a house and dogs together. From 2 weeks old to around 5 months, I got up for our baby every single night. My partner had the attitude that he worked and I didn’t so it was my responsibility. We were quite lucky as our baby is a relatively good sleeper, just the usual every 3 hour wake ups as a new born and then seemed to get better and better with age. We have hit a few regressions as expected and when that happened I had enough of doing it on my own. I started getting my partner to help out and this has just caused fight after fight. His usual argument is that all I would do is look after the baby and sit around all day while he was at work. Which isn’t true, I look after our baby, take him to his weekly activities, clean the whole house myself, look after the pets and cook all meals. I see it as we both have hard jobs. I am now also back at work myself, I do an office job while my partner does have a more physical job yet not quite a trade.
My partner recently went away for work interstate. I had our baby for 5 nights on my own which also ended up being some of our hardest nights with his sleep. I was so looking forward to my partner coming home to help out, and of course I just missed him in general.
Once my partner got him he said he was exhausted, which I understand as he worked hard while he was away. He also stated he went to the pub each night he was away and had amazing sleeps which I’m happy he got to do! I told him how hard our nights were and he just kind of brushed it off. Our baby ended up having another awful night that night, I got up initially to deal with it but was struggling so asked my partner to have a turn. He immediately started yelling at me, that I have no respect, that he works and I should deal with it because I don’t do anything etc. he called me a fucking moron amongst other things. He also essentially shouts at our baby when he gets frustrated about the lack of sleep. I always go to step in at this point and he brushes me off.
Eventually I did take over and stayed up for 2 hours trying to settle our baby. My partner heard me crying in the room but still doesn’t offer to help. It just leaves me feeling so alone. He preaches that we are a team but anytime it comes to helping out at night, I’m on my own.
I always think maybe tonight will be the night he will just help without a fight but I always end up regretting asking. It’s miserable to know I can’t rely on the person I thought I could trust the most.
I just don’t know if I’m overreacting? AITA

My team is top 3 in 6s - usually #1 until we take the occasional break/busy - and we really only play when we have all five users on. The reason being is that no matter what setting I have our CPUs on when we’re missing a player, they find a way to fuck everything up. A lot of the time they’re either standing right on top of the puck carrier playing better defense than the opposing team or moving right in front of the shooting lane to block our shots after dancing around the opponent to create a lane. I’ll pay any amount of money if someone has a legitimate solution. I played hockey for year and years and know the ins and outs of the proper positioning for each setting and the CPU is never in the correct spot. I’ve played Chel for years and have never felt like they have been this terrible in previous games. I’m usually the number one ranked player globally in 6s (unless I fill in for a missing defender in which my RP after games typically takes a little bit of a hit) and will dance around a team for an entire period with ease to find an open shooting lane just for the CPU to walk right in front of me and fuck it up. So I don’t wanna hear one of those jackasses say “get better” or some other dumb shit because those are the morons that suck and spam some dumb mechanic just to lose to my team 15-2. I’ve tried every combination of forecheck/offensive strategy/breakout and nothing works. Any solution that works I’ll give you my left nut.

TL;DR: Do you know of any autoimmune conditions that would cause inflammation leading to sudden nerve pain or sudden sciatica?
I think I have an unidentified autoimmune condition. For the past 14 days, I am experiencing a sudden onset sciatic nerve pain, numbness and tingling from my back to my toes. My quality of life is majorly impacted and I am looking for answers. I suspect this is caused by inflammation from an unidentified autoimmune condition.
27F. Joint pain & joint swelling for over 4 years. Comes on really bad and then disappears like it never happened. First noticed it after contracting COVID for the first time.
I woke up two weeks ago with a cold and sudden onset sciatica pain. I have never experienced sciatica problems before, although I have had chronic low back pain. While I recovered from the cold after a few days the sciatica pain has remained for the past 14 days. Numbness, tingling and sharp pains from back to my toes leading to extreme discomfort. It has not gone away for over 2 weeks now and has been extremely uncomfortable and out of my range of tolerance on pain - can’t sit through work meetings, can’t sleep, can’t relax etc. I haven’t been able to get comfortable in weeks in any position - sitting, standing, laying, etc.
I am seeing a PT already for another nerve related issue in my shoulder that I have had for over 10 years (old volleyball injury). I have a winging scapula, another structural problems with my shoulder that lead to nerve impingement that travels to my hand. Since I have been experiencing that for over 10 years, I know there’s no cure for nerve pain and I know it when I feel it. So the PT has been quick to help me start doing PT for sciatica and specific stretches & exercises they think will help. This is super great, but I am kind of concerned about the underlying cause which I believe is immune related. I suspect my body is inflamed from being getting sick the same day the sciatica pain started, and the inflammation hasn’t gone down yet. The weird part is I think I have been over the cold part for over a week now, but the sciatica remains. I did take a COVID test by the way and it was negative so not COVID - just had a fever, stuffy nose, joint pain, body aches, and then this sciatica all start the same day.
Saw my primary care doctor yesterday and she is not super concerned this is anything more than “normal sciatica from prolonged sitting” and “not something more serious” (unless I lose bladdebowel function or muscle weakness I should go to ER, which is thankfully not what I am experiencing). We are going to do MRI to make sure I don’t have a slipped disc or something else going on. I have told her about joint pain flare ups getting worse whenever I catch a cold, so my PCP did find that suspicious for autoimmune.
But I am trying to see if there’s possibly an autoimmune condition associated with something like sudden onset sciatica/nerve pain as a result of inflammation/joint pain? I feel like this joint pain and swelling leading to nerve pain happening around when I get sick is really starting to impact my life and I want to see if there’s certain conditions associated with this kind of thing. I also have never had sciatica problems in my life, but I feel like I need to take immediate actions to get some answers on how to prevent this ever again & what the cause of the underlying flare up is.
Thank you for your insights.

My whole life i was fan of american culture, my mom pushed me and i had english courses since 6 y.o., i always watched those movies, series, cartoons where everything is so athmospheric and cool, not even only from US just any movie where original language is english, like from UK or Canada lol. And the first thing i thought when i started learning everything about culture of US or UK, Canada, english speaking countries, i was surprised how open people are there, how open to new stuff, how simple they are, how they having best time of their life every day.
Average American school looks 10 times better than mine
Average american parent is 10 times better than mine, at least most of parents are not divorced, mine were when i was just born.
Average american life is where 3000 dollars a month is poor, not 300 dollars, 3000.
Most popular actors,singers, even writers are in US
Richest,smartest people in the world live in US and became who they are in US
And here i am, was born in country which is just better than some Pakistan, and close to it because how people talk,think and live here.
My mother who always said i need english recently admitted that it wasn't for US, or moving in any different country. Then why the fuck i spent my whole life admiring this culture which she wasn't even planning to sent me in.
We participate in Diversity Visa loterry only for five years, but I'm freaking 17 now. Why, just why my parents didn't start earlier? They are not dumb. And I'm still here, i can't live here, people are so toxic, angry and stupid, not progressive at all. I just cant talk to them or be near them.
This year my mental health went completely crazy,i think i just got mature, i started looking at the window every ten minutes thinking "well it won't get any better anyway" then i remember "oh wait, I'm atheist, if i die i will end and stop existing like a fucking robot, and I'm only 17", but it doesn't help at all. 3 month and again to school, to those awful people.....to those awful classrooms
I can't study normally and move to US because got in some University, i can't study because my flat is complete mess, my parent won't clean it because says "there are lots of things, we can't just throw them away", every room is a mess, everything is so complicated you can't focus and think normally.
I have diagnosed depression, ADHD, and never told anyone, but yes, definitely main hero syndrome. My life is so fucked up that when I'm in school i think and imagine how cool i am , how rich i am, how everybody knows about me, listening to music. So insane and in so much denial, that can't study because of thinking how cool i am in my brain,because if i will stop and take a look in a mirror i will just scream and hurt everyone in the classroom because they just exist that way. I'm daydreaming every hour,minute,second and i can't stop, it's a habit.
And wow, this year, i thought it would be life changing, because i knew i couldn't bare one more year here at all, and thought "well, okay universe, come on ,all i need is just little luck, please, a little luck" if my family would win diversity visa we would sell our car, and flat my mom got from her mom who died two years ago(yes,thats sad), it would be more than 70k. I would start in new school, knowing culture and english, knowing where to find work, i would be happy as fuck working as some walmart cashier after school so i could buy nintendo, go to Shake Shack and drink starbucks on way home, watch american television to see those funny creative ads.( Of course my mom and my sister would be A LOT HAPPIER there and i would make sure of it).Watch US elections knowing it won't be worst country in the world in any circumstances. And of course would get in the best university possible, studying every day and going to cinema with friends on weekend.
already two of my mom's friends won, and they didn't even need it, "of course we have to win, it won't be fair any other way, it just can't be false, we deserve it more than average winner who was rich and had nice life here anyway,it just can't be this way, it won't be, of course it won't be, why would it, if anyone rules the world up there in space it should understand how much we want it, come on,we can't loose, it just won't be fair" My mom teaching other people english for two years now,whole flat is a mess because all around in any room there are tons of books about English.
We lost, we didn't win, and we definitely won't If we even will in future,i know i don't need it, we needed to win right now, this year Or i will be completely insane I just want to fall asleep and never wake up, living my perfect life in my perfect dreams in a perfect world with perfect family, perfect people and perfect perfection. I tried lucid dreaming but it's not working the way i wanted it to.
I don't know what to do I know i won't go to school after summer I won't because it's my choice, not any other creature choice, just mine And i won't, i will just stay in my room and die from starving. I don't care about my mom because i know it's not my fucking fault that life was unfair, not for me, for whole family. at least she will have more money for her, and less people to worry about

First / Previous / Royal Road / Patreon (Read 12 Chapters Ahead)

Alain kicked in the door to the gun store, and they all flooded in. There was nobody there, as expected, so that gave them free reign to take whatever they needed. Alain immediately stocked up on ammo for his revolver and shotgun, slotting cartridges into the spaces on his bandoleer and belt. All the other men did the same, and a few of them grabbed an extra gun as well.
"Everyone good?" Alain called. They all answered back in the affirmative, and he motioned for them to follow after him as he sprinted back outside.
The remaining undead had taken notice of them now, and were closing in once more. Their group opened fire as Sable and Az rushed forwards.
"Watch your fire!" Alain warned as rounds passed dangerously close to the two of them.
"What the hell are they doing?!" Rusty called.
"They're clearing a path for us!" Alain shouted back. "Come on, we need to-"
A pair of sickening gurgles from behind him caught his attention. Immediately, Alain turned around, and saw the two sheriff's deputies standing there, their hands thrust through the backs and out the chests of Jack and Redd. Rusty raised his rifle to try and engage, but he didn't get a chance to fire before one of the deputies drew his own revolver and put a round between his eyes. Alain could only watch in shock as he fell backwards, dead.
The two deputies pulled their arms out of their unfortunate victims, then shook them to get some of the blood off as they advanced on Alain and Felix. Both men took a step back as they shouldered their long guns.
"Deputies Timms and Brayton," Felix surmised, looking at each man in turn. "You know, I almost didn't want to believe it when Alain first told me you were involved with all of this. The sheriff put you up to it?"
Timms ran a hand through his beard, uncaring of how the blood and gore from his victim left a trail of slick red through it. "He told us what we stood to gain if we helped him. After learning about that, how could we refuse?"
"And what would that be?" Alain growled.
Brayton grinned, showing off yellow teeth as he twirled his revolver almost absentmindedly. "What do you think would coerce someone to sacrifice other people?"
"I don't know."
"Ah, well… it doesn't matter; you'll all be dead soon, anyway."
"So confident of that, are you?"
"I'm confident enough, we'll say." Brayton turned to Timms. "You take the bartender, I'll handle the drifter."
Timms nodded, and then before Alain knew what was happening, Brayton had rushed towards him. He just barely managed to avoid the incoming arm thrust, the deputy's fingers brushing against his shirt, tearing through the fabric with ease. Alain fell back, discharging his shotgun as he went; the load of buckshot struck Brayton in the chest, opening it enough to expose his blackened heart, and he stumbled back, but recovered quickly.
Brayton let out a low growl, then drew his revolver and began firing off shots. Alain was forced to dive for cover behind a nearby building to avoid the incoming shots. Just as he reached concealment, however, a series of moans from nearby caught his attention. He turned and found several undead moving towards him. Without missing a beat, Alain fired off the remaining shell in his shotgun, taking one out, and then held it in one hand as he drew his revolver and killed the other two with a series of well-placed shots.
Alain wasted no time in reloading his guns once the trio of undead had hit the ground. He broke his shotgun open and ripped the spent shells out, then shoved two fresh ones in and closed the weapon. Before he could cock the hammers back, however, the building behind him erupted in a shower of splinters, and Brayton came marching through.
"I must say, you're not making this easy," Brayton told him.
"I thought you would've learned that by now," Alain replied as he cocked the hammers back on his shotgun. "After all, I did plenty of damage to you two back in the jailhouse earlier."
"A shame it didn't last."
"This will."
Alain shouldered his weapon and fired both barrels in the same motion. To his dismay, Brayton was able to duck back into the destroyed building at the last minute, avoiding most of the buckshot; a few pellets lodged in his throat and face, but it wasn't nearly enough to kill him for good.
It did succeed in getting under his skin, though. Brayton stepped out of the building, a scowl etched across his face. Without missing a beat, he advanced on Alain's position, drawing his revolver and firing it as he went. Several shots rang out, and Alain felt a sudden, searing pain in his left shoulder; he turned and saw a bloody patch on his shirt that was growing more intense with every passing second. He only stared for a second though, then turned and began to run, desperate to put some distance between himself and Brayton.
"There's no point in hiding," Brayton answered as Alain ducked back into Felix's bar, stepping over a small mountain of undead corpses in the process. "I'll find you eventually."
Alain sat down behind the bar, then tore open his shirt to get a better look at the wound. Brayton's round had apparently nicked his artery; it wasn't spurting blood, but it was bleeding heavily. Alain didn't waste any time, instead tearing his cartridge belt off his waist and cinching it tight just above the wound as a makeshift tourniquet. He then forced himself back onto his feet, and with shaking hands, reloaded his shotgun as he looked around.
The undead horde seemed to have been thinned out substantially in this part of town. That led him to believe that Az and Sable had instead moved on to another part of town, most likely closer to the mines, and were working on clearing a path for the rest of them. That meant they'd be of no help to him anytime soon – they were almost certainly too busy fighting the undead to realize him and Felix needed help.
So the two of them were on their own. Alain grimaced as the thought crossed his mind.
He needed to take care of Brayton and Timms, and fast.
Alain vaulted over the bar, wincing when he felt the movement disturb the bullet in his shoulder slightly.
"Not doing anything like that again any time soon…" he muttered as he propped himself up against a wall next to the opening where the door had once stood, then peered out into town.
From here, he couldn't see either of the deputies, but he could still hear sporadic gunfire throughout town, along with the moans of the living corpses that were still walking around. Cautiously, Alain stepped out from behind cover, his shotgun already readied against his good shoulder. He looked around once more, trying to see where either of the deputies or Felix had ended up.
The click of a revolver's hammer being thumbed back struck his ears, and Alain hit the dirt just in time for the bullet to scrape across the top of his head, taking a few of his hairs with it.
There was little time to dwell on that, however, as another round came from out of the darkness soon after that one. Alain rolled to avoid it, and just barely managed to get out of the way in time for it to embed itself into the ground next to him. Dirt, pebbles, and bits of spall impacted against his back, but once again, he managed to avoid serious injury. A vein pulsed in his forehead, and Alain forced himself to stand up before firing off two shotgun blasts towards where he thought the shots came from. He was rewarded with the sound of buckshot impacting against flesh, and knew he'd hit his target.
Before Brayton could have time to recover, Alain slung his shotgun and drew his revolver, then advanced upon his position. Sure enough, Brayton was busy pulling himself up off the ground; Alain emptied his revolver's cylinder into the deputy's head. Blood, bone, and bits of brain arced through the air, staining the ground and the nearby wall with a macabre mixture of crimson, white, and gray. By the end of it, the deputy's head had been sheared almost in half, with the remnants of his brain exposed to the outside world.
Alain stood there, wisps of smoke curling up from the end of his revolver's barrel. That should have been it for Brayton – no mortal would have been able to survive something like that.
Unfortunately, Brayton was no mere mortal. He let out a shuddering breath, then began to lurch forward. His movements were sluggish and slow, and there was a dull expression of pain on his face, but he was still alive. Alain paused at the sight of it, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me."
That was all he managed to get out before Brayton raised his revolver once again. Alain dove for cover; the bullet scraped across his lower back, just a few inches away from his spine. He scrambled to his feet, and only once he was back up did he realize that in the confusion, he'd dropped his revolver.
Alain went to reload his shotgun, but found that he was once again out of shells. He let out a muffled curse, then looked around for something he could use. Sable had told him that there were three ways to kill wights – removing the head, destroying the brain, and…
Alain's gaze landed on a nearby lantern hanging from an abandoned shop, swinging precariously from a rope. Even from here, he could see oil sloshing around inside it. A manic grin crossed his face, and he immediately made a mad dash for it. He got lucky – the deputy was caught in the middle of a reload, and was unable to shoot him. Alain ripped the lantern off the building, then hurled it at Brayton; it shattered on impact, coating him with oil. Once that was done, Alain reached into his pocket and retrieved a match.
"Mom always said those cigarettes couldn't be good for me," he said to himself as he struck the match against the building, lighting it. He turned toward the deputy, still coated in oil, and his eyes narrowed.
"I wonder what she'd say if she could see this."
He flicked the lit match towards Brayton, watching as it soared through the air. The flame made impact with the oil-slick deputy, and he caught alight immediately. An inhuman screech erupted from Brayton's throat, loud enough that Alain winced and had to cover both his ears. Brayton fell to the ground, his revolver dropping against the dirt and discharging harmlessly into the air as he rolled to try and put out the fire, but it was no use. In a matter of seconds, his movements stopped completely, his body reduced to little more than a charred corpse.
That wasn't enough for Alain. He sprinted over to where his Colt had fallen, retrieved it, and emptied the cylinder into what was left of Brayton's head, just for good measure. The body didn't even twitch as the rounds made impact, and by the end of it, his head had been reduced to little more than a jawbone still attached to the neck. Alain stood there for a moment, panting from exertion, before letting his arm fall.
Footsteps took him by surprise, and he rounded on them, only to relax when he saw that it was Felix, and he was apparently completely unharmed. The two exchanged a glance, and Felix's eyes widened.
"Shit…" he breathed. "What happened to you? You're covered in blood."
"I killed Brayton."
"Yes, I can see that. But did you have to put yourself through a meat grinder to do it?"
"Is Timms dead?" Alain asked.
"Yeah, he's done."
"How'd it happen?"
"I shot him in the head a bunch with my rifle. Why didn't you just do that to Brayton?"
Alain just scowled. Before he could reply, there were more footsteps – they both looked over and saw Sable and Az approaching. Both of them seemed a lot worse for wear, sporting more grievous injuries than they had before. Still, as Sable approached, her eyes widened when she saw Alain lying there.
"What happened to him?" she asked.
"Got shot," he grunted. "Hey, you needed blood, right?"
"Well, yes, but-"
Alain didn't wait to hear anything else, instead loosening his tourniquet. The blood began to flow once more, and he motioned towards his shoulder.
"Help yourself for a bit."
Sable went red in the face, but her shame didn't stop her. She immediately moved over to him, then latched onto the wound on his shoulder and began to drink. Alain winced when he felt her teeth lock into him and her tongue begin to lap up his blood, but he didn't stop her.
"I'm gonna be sick…" Felix said, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth as he watched the display in front of him.
Thankfully, Sable pulled herself away shortly after latching onto him. Alain turned towards her, and was surprised to see that many of her wounds were healed, though not all of them. Before he could inquire further about that, Sable began tearing strips off her gore-soaked dress, taking care to search for the few clean parts only, then wrapped his wound with them.
"You need a doctor," she declared. "But for now, that'll have to do. You can sit this one out if-"
"Stop," Alain managed to get out. "I'm not missing this. Help me up."
"Alain-"
"I said, help me up."
Sable hesitated, but ultimately obliged, pulling him to his feet. Alain stumbled a bit, lightheaded from pain and blood loss, but managed to maintain his footing. He slung his shotgun and reloaded his revolver, then turned back to the rest of them.
"Alright," he said. "To the mines."

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.

My dog who is a small little white dog im not really sure of her breed but my dog who is a girl at times randomly starts secluding herself hiding with her stuffed worm toy but the thing is she treats the toy like a baby as if it were its own she takes it everywhere as well and if we take it away she follows us and begs for it back i of course give it back immediately i wonder if dogs can have phantom preganancy this last for 2 weeks or month(s) from time to time and it happens every few months and after when she’s done with the time period she goes back to prey behavior when she plays with it and rapidly shakes her head im not sure if i should take her to a vet

Okay this is long (sorry) Okay, this happened yesterday. I've been suffering from headaches for a week straight and I've been ill for about a month straight. I literally had headaches, then after, I got a stomachache for six days straight. And then, I literally get period cramps; I get ill like every month for like two weeks straight. But yesterday, I had a really terrible headache, so I decided to take paracetamol like I usually do when I have a headache. The problem was, this time, it got stuck in my throat, and I felt it. In that moment, I had a panic attack because I thought I was going to die; it's never happened to me before. I thought I was gonna die because it was lodged in my throat, and then I couldn’t breathe because I was having a panic attack
I went into my mothers bedroom around 11. I said, "I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I’m choking." She got annoyed at me at first, and then she told me to drink water with an annoyed voice. I was struggling to breathe with a pill still in my throat. Then, I ran downstairs with the bathroom light on and the hallway light on, and I started drinking like six massive cold bottles of water, trying to get the pill down also, suffocating from a panic attack. Then, I heard the landing light off, and she slammed the door because she’s upset that I left it on,
but I was having a panic attack. I couldn’t think rationally; I was just trying to drink water because I was scared. I was gonna die; I needed to get it out of my system, so I couldn’t die. And all she could think about was to turn the light off so she could get back to sleep. When I finally got the pill down my throat and got it into my system, I had to sort my panic attack out. I started meditating weirdly. I went to my bedroom, sat down, and just kept drinking water while standing, having panic attacks, even with the pill. I was just scared that I was gonna die; my heart was hurting as well. I was in pain, and nobody gave a shit, not even my own mother. Like, what if that was serious? Those were your last moments of me, and you’re not caring?
But yeah, that situation made me hate her because it’s like, I was having a severe panic attack; I was struggling to breathe; I was coughing, trying to throw up just because I didn’t want to die. I was scared that I was gonna die, and I wanted someone to say it’s gonna be okay, not just tell me to drink bloody water and go back to bed. I don’t know, she’s my mother, so is it wrong to hate your mother? 'Cause hate is a very strong word. Is it wrong to feel that she doesn’t understand my pain of constantly being ill, having headaches?
Edit: Also, I know I wasn't actually choking. I just thought I was at the start, and that's why my panic attack began. The reason why I couldn't breathe wasn't because of the pill but because of the actual panic attack.

Hi! This story will require quite a bit of context (that can be found here https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/s/2Vo9S0QKF1). Long story short, my (F26) ex Fitz (M 32) keeps finding reasons to sue me to get full custody of our son Tim (M5). He sued several times in the past, but now everything went too far.
After a previous fierce custody battle we had an iron tight co parenting agreement. It took ages to reach one as he kept trying to include clauses just to make my life miserable. Right after graduating, when Tim was around 1 yo, in the middle of our custody battle, I would take Tim to work with me a lot. I would have long hours at the beginning, trying to make a name for myself, while Fitz was trying to paint me as a negligent mother for leaving Tim with a nanny while studying, back during finals. Hence, every other day after 4:30, when most people would go home, my mom would drop Tim at my lab and he would stay and play next to me in my office until 8 when we would go home. I would offer him plenty of attention as I would mostly run time consuming simulations that would require little involvement from my side.
Knowing this, Fitz fought tooth and nail to stop me from doing this, knowing how much easier this made our life. I work in a lab that focuses on various incurable diseases research. I almost never get in touch with the biological side as I am in the modelling team, doing mostly maths and coding. My office is in a different building than the lab and Tim has only ever been in my own office, far from the biological material. However, in the end, after arguing that my workplace is dangerous, Fitz managed to get a clause that would prevent me from having Tim with me at work. In order not to have it sound personal, the clause stated that Tim was not to be taken in any place with a BR factor greater than 1, unless his safety would be at play.
Where we are from, the BR factor of an establishment measures the risk of getting an infectious disease. Any biological lab has it greater than 1, by default, even if they do not work with any viruses . During the pandemic, all hospitals got their BR increased over 1.
Now, after an emergency, Fitz sued me for breaching our agreement. He has had a private detective in me for the better part of the past two years and kept trying building a case against me for “repeatedly violating our contract “. He kept using petty situations, like Tim being alone with my dad for 2 minutes into the men’s room at the mall while my mom and I are right in front of the door, waiting for them, even though my dad is not on the pre approved list as he has epilepsy. Or me not having an epi pen at my home because I gave it to Fitz as his was about to expire and it was his turn to pick up Tim who has severe allergies, even though our agreement said to have one at all times. (Just to make it clear, I bought a new one before getting Tim back). He also tried to paint me as a danger for having had seen a psychiatrist in highschool and early college. The reason was an eating disorder, nothing that could be any danger, which Fitz was aware of.
Even though all his so said proofs and breaches of contract were silly, with the most serious one described in the linked post, the trial got very intense, with him attacking me on a personal level. While we live in a big city, it quickly became the biggest gossip in our community, being on the lips of all the moms from pre school, most of them siding with me. Unfortunately, as much as I tried and couldn’t keep it all from Tim, since he was asked lots of questions by the kids at pre-school who heard about the situation. He became very stressed and started having night terrors.
I tried to reason with Fitz for Tim’s sake with no luck. 2 days ago, Fitz’s sister, Mia, came to see me. She wanted to give me something that could end all the stress Tim was under.
Almost 3 years ago, Fitz’s dad had a heart attack and almost died, but made a miraculous recovery. While he was in a coma, Fitz and Mia took Tim to the hospital to see his grandfather for what was thought to be the last time. Fitz’s entire family agreed there was no point in telling me, since I was very empathetic about the entire situation and even suggested that Tim and I could go visit him in the hospital once I picked him up from Fitz. They refused, however, since Tim already visited him, but did not mention this to me. She gave me texts to prove everything she was saying, and showing that Fitz knowingly breached our agreement and hid this from me for years on purpose.
My lawyer says that since this event occurred before all the ones he tries to use against me, it could get the entire case dismissed immediately, since it would have voided the parenting agreement we had. He guarantees me a win nonetheless, it would just take longer if we don’t use this. My parents think I should be the bigger person and not use it, as it is cruel and I should be an example for Tim for when he will be older. They insist that I would be in the wrong, especially since I would win nonetheless. I, however, just want to end this nightmare for good, and take care of the emotional health of my son. So what should I do?

I wanted to share my experience with the entire Carvana package now that our car is paid off and all monetary transactions with them are over.
This will get long, as it started in 2019.
We bought our 17' Rogue from Carvana in April of 2019. I was researching vehicles for close to 3 months before finally pulling the trigger on this particular model. It was about 34k miles, 2.5 years old, located in Illinois. I liked the geographic area for chances the vehicle hadn't seen a lot of snow for the first 2 years of it life as Carfax activity showed it was most likely in the southern part of the state.
I also chose this specific Rogue as the VIN indicated the vehicle was made in South Korea, as opposed to Tennessee. The difference is all Rogues made in South Korea received engines and CVT's from Japan, while US made models had engines from Japan or US, and CVT's from Mexico which was a no go for me. I will also go one more and state Korean labor for assembly is far more disciplined than what you find in the US and especially mexico. Fun fact for those still paying attention - The Nissan Rogue's that have the flat Nissan logo on the grille behind smoked plastic were made in South Korea. They stopped production there in early 2020.
What interested me in Carvana was-

1. Buying a car is the sleaziest most frustrating process from a dealer
   
2. I could hand pick from an inventory of cars across the country willing to pay for delivery
   
3. They offered me 500 dollars off the final price of a car in a letter campaign, as they were still growing
   

I started looking over inventory for a month, and decided to sign up and go for the soft credit pull to see what terms Carvana would offer. I was prequalified for a used car loan through my credit union, so I wanted to see Carvana's terms would be. The loan and term tools were pretty damn cool at the time, you could just jiggle those sliders and almost completely tailor a lending solution to fit your needs.
After the soft credit pull and a single pay stub, Carvana pre-approved me for any car up to 90k, with zero money down. I laughed. Hard. I had decent credit but wasnt going to bury myself.
After I settled down to a few models, I worked through the trade-in portion of the site, and found it was real easy to get a quote to trade in our 2005 Escape XLT which was a great car, but in Ford fashion the frame was rotting away. I had a fair offer for the trade in, described it honestly.
We also opted for the SilverRock warranty. Nissan, CVT, etc.
The big sale!
After watching how quickly some cars came and went early on, I got everything I needed for the trade in. Scan of the title, picture of the milage, car pictures. We were putting 2k down on the car, so the cash was waiting in my account, ready for transfer or cashier check if we were going to go with Carvana final loan offer.
The day I pulled the trigger on our Rogue, the entire process took all of 20 minutes. I was amazed, and honestly thought at the time "This should be illegal for how easy that was".
The offer for Carvana finance was within a couple tenths of my credit union, so I opted to simplify the process and go with them. Carvana performed a hard pull on my credit, confirmed the terms, and required confirmation from my bank that the money for deposit was in my account. I provided my bank login credentials and the process was done in minutes.
I had to provide a copy of my license and items related to the trade in, and it was done, in literally 20 minutes. I wondered if I was making a mistake..
It was an amazing deal, every dealer in the area was selling the same model for well over 2k of what we paid, so the SilverRock warranty was pretty much free after the additional 500 discount off the final price of the car.
Delivery - Trade in!
It was delayed. Twice. Pretty disappointing. Some pretty lame excuses. Honestly I should have expected a reasonable delivery date as the I knew the car I bought was 1500 miles away, but Carvana makes unrealistic delivery promises and is my biggest gripe regarding them.
When delivery day finally came, the Rogue was everything I had hoped it would be. While on the delivery truck I asked to inspect the undercarriage, and the driver was super friendly and allowed me to take my time. I looked it all over, looking for rust, oil leaks, you name it and I found nothing nothing, including nothing suspect like it had been cleaned. It was a 2-ish year old car with light dirt and surface rust where you would expect.
Once the Rogue was unloaded I was free to look it over with a fine comb, pop the hood, check the fluids, look for dents and dings, paint issues, interior issues, you name it. I found nothing major, just some minor things like paint polish slag in small corners and what not. Interior was very clean and detailed.
While I was looking over the Rogue, the delivery driver was loading the trade-in. He took some pictures, verified the mileage, checked the "check engine" light was off and started loading it on his truck.
I live in Massachusetts with very strict license and registration requirements. A few days before the delivery, someone from the Danvers site reached out to me about the registration details. I was transferring the plates from the trade in and they were finalizing the paperwork. I was provided the new registration, and the delivery driver had the new registration in hand so we could just put the plates on the Rogue and be ready to roll.
I took the Rogue for a 20 minute test drive, signed off on the purchase and trade. Driver headed off with the trade in and that was it. Carvana never called or questioned what they gave me for the trade.
Post delivery!
The very next day I brought the Rogue to work, I work in transportation/logistics and my site has ASE mechanics that I know very well. I asked him to go over the Rogue with the white glove and let me know if they think anything is wrong, as I have 6 days to return the car. They did so and they didnt find anything, just amazed at how clean the undercarriage, engine, and fluids were.
If I didn't have access to an ASE certified mechanic in this situation that I really trusted, I would have paid for a purchase inspection from a Nissan dealer. I did pay for the trusted inspection, just not in dollars lol.
After the personal vehicle inspection, my wife and I took off for a long weekend road trip roaming the White mountains of New Hampshire. Three days across many miles that easily blew out the initial vehicle 7 day warranty mileage. The Rogue was amazing through the mountains getting a ridiculous 30mpg through the entire trip. I wasn't concerned as people I trust cleared the car, and I also had the SilverRock warranty to cover the rest..
Speaking of warranty..
SilverRock!
The first, and pretty much only issue with the Rogue, was at about 48k miles. Massachusetts has a comprehensive yearly vehicle inspection program. At about 48k miles, the Rogue failed inspection for a bad inner tie rod, passenger side. Contacted SilverRock, and they gave me the local network shop here in Massachusetts, Monro.Monro is a regional repair shop here in MA with many locations. I take the Rogue to them and they diagnose that indeed the passenger side inner tie rod has gone bad. Repair tech states he has never seen one go bad on a Nissan at the current mileage.
The service manager starts looking around for the parts, called about 5 places, then calls a Nissan dealer. The Nissan dealer informs him the inner tie rod is not available for the 17, the only way to to repair the defect is replace the entire electric steering rack which comes with the inner and outer tie rods complete.
I call SilverRock with the service manager. I provide my name and vehicle make, SilverRock knows who I am right away. SilverRock rep asks whats wrong, service manager laid it down. SilverRock rep transfers us to a manager, manager asked about a few more details and then asked the service manager of Monro to send the estimate.
I get a call from the manager of Monro the next day, he said he went back and forth with SilverRock for about 20 minutes and got the entire job covered, throwing in a free front end alignment, for 1500 dollars using a genuine Nissan OEM steering rack.
SilverRock paid everything but the 100 dollar deductible. I picked up the Rogue 2 days later, paid 100, and went back for inspection. It passed.
Anyone reading this that knows about car repair, an inner tie rod costs maybe 150 dollars OEM. The fact it wasn't available and they had to replace the entire rack was absurd, yet they did it with a new OEM rack. At the time SilverRock could have required a rack used from a salvage yard, but they didn't.
I have nothing but positive things to say about SilverRock.
Bridgecrest!!
The silent partner.
I have NEVER spoken to someone at Bridgecrest. I have never called them. They have never called me.
I have NEVER emailed Bridgecrest. They have emailed me every single month for the life of my loan, after making a payment.
They fronted me the money, and expected it back. I paid it back, as expected. On time.
5 stars, and they will return the favor on my credit now that the loan is clear.
WHY YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY
Do your homework - buying a car is a capital investment in your future that loses money. You need a car to be reliable for your job, your family, your life. You need to spend money on a regular basis to keep that car reliable, on top of your car payment.
Know your budget - Dont fall for finance traps. Only buy what you can comfortably afford, again, owning a car costs you more money than what's on the final loan payment.
Get your car inspected ASAP - Pay a dealer for a purchase inspection. Schedule it ahead of time. Inform Carvana of the issues within 3 days of delivery and ask them to pick up the car. Carvana will make the car right, as they dont want to take the car back from qualified buyers. Keep on top of them until the car is what was expected.
Why Carvana may be bad for you
You have bad credit - Better know what you are signing on for. The majority of complaints in this sub are from people that have bad credit, cant read, and cant learn from past mistakes. Thats a personal problem, not a Carvana problem.
Closing
Aside from some delays in delivery, We have had an amazing 5 year journey with Carvana and associated companies. Our Rogue is now at over 100k miles and still drives and looks like new. We perform all maintenance as required, without question.
Living in MA, the last 5 years our Rogue has taken us thousands of miles over the White Mountains of New Hampshire, all through the Mountains of Maine, and multiple trips to Canada to visit the iconic Niagara Falls.
My wife travels every day for work, and the Rogue is her daily driver putting 3k miles on the clock every 2.5 months. We change the oil every 3k miles, perform the required CVT services at the dealer, and keep the tires rotated every 8K.
The tires that came on the Rogue from Carvana were in fact new, but the kind of tires that have a 30k mile treadwear warranty. The first snowy New England day we slipped through a stop sign in light snow, the next week we replaced the tires all around with BF Goodrich Advantage TA sport tires and the Rogue has been amazing in the snow ever since.
After getting our Rogue, my coworker was so impressed he bought not 1, but 2 cars from Carvana. Bastard got both cars delivered on time, on the same day, from different parts of the country.. I was so jealous lol. His cars had some minor issues, but Carvana took car of them.
My daughter bought a Nissan as well from Carvana. It had a few front end issues, but ultimately was taken care of through constant communication with Carvana during the 7 day test drive.
Will I use Carvana again? Yes.
Will it be soon? Not really.
Our other car is a Hyundai and running strong.
Hope some of my diatribe will be useful to anyone considering Carvana as usually is all bad mouth drival posted here.

Hi,
Very new to spleen qi, just found out about it the 2 days ago. I have an appointment set up with a TCM specialist but it’s a month from now.
I have done every test under the sun with my GI Specialist and he concluded it being a functional dyspepsia.
I’ve always had a slight brain fog throughout my life. But symptoms got worse during Covid, eventually I tested for h pylori and eradicated it. Haven’t been the same after the course of antibiotics. I got put on ppis as my GI found inflammation through endoscopy, things got worse then.
I have tested for sibo, had colonoscopies, endoscopies and tested for candida, still nothing. I figured candida was the issue but the antifungals made me worse. I suspect some liver stress.
Symptoms:
Bloating, fatigue, ibs symptoms, brain fog, pain under rib(left side) especially after food has digested, sleep issues(insomnia), feels like my body is carrying more water than it should, hair loss as well, anxiety, depression, some suicidal thoughts when I eat something bad(it always happens when I eat).
Does anyone suspect spleen/ liver qi? If so what are some measures I can do as an emergency as I wait to see the tcm doc. So far the only thing that has helped me feel normal is ginseng and ginger, not sure if there’s more recommendations but will gladly take them.
Please, anyone willing to help will be saving my life. I’m on the brink of a breakdown.
PSA: I notice I get a surge of digesting when I breathe in heavily.

Originally chronicled here.
I am not the OOP. OOP is u/Lost_Beginning_2824
This was originally posted in TrueOffMyChest
2 updates
(recovered via pushpull)
Original post - February 6th, 2024
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
2nd Update - March 8th, 2024
Trigger warning: mention of domestic violence situation
I’m married to a woman who acts like a teenage girl – February 6th, 2024
My wife behaves like a teenage girl and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is just a rant. Curious to know how many full grown adults behave the way my wife does. I’d say out of all of the adult women I know, like friends, relatives, wives of my friends, none of them behave this way unless they keep it a closely guarded secret.
Editing right here to add that my wife is in her 30s, for context.
My wife is always obsessed with somebody, a man or sometimes multiple men at one time. Usually there is one or two main focuses at a time. When I talk obsessed I mean obsessed like a teenage girl or maybe even preteen girl would be. I’ve seen pictures of her bedroom when she was that age and they were literally wallpapers in posters of her favorite guys. That’s totally normal for a 13 year old girl. She still behaves that way as a woman in her 30s. Granted, our bedroom walls aren’t wallpapered in posters but they probably would be if I allowed it.
Her obsessions have ranged from rock stars, actors, non-entertainment industry public figures. It’s like one day she hasn’t even heard of the guy in question and the next day she’s super fan #1 and knows just about everything there is to know about him. She will read and watch everything there is to watch about the man. She will bring him up in every conversation. She will adopt parts of him into her own personality. She will suggest things that make it clear to me that she wants me to adopt characteristics of these men as part of my appearance or personality. She will openly admit to me that she’s masturbated over the guy multiple times in one day.
When she finds a new man to obsess over, she puts the others in her little stable of men who she always has a place for in her heart and in her fantasies, so they never really go away. The new man just takes center stage and becomes the main focus of almost her entire life.
So the current obsession is so strange to me. Never saw this one coming, but leave it to her to always find somebody new to fall in love with. The intensity that she has during these periods - it’s honestly like she falls in love with these men.
I’m laughing so hard just typing this all. Her current obsession is Bret Hart, former pro wrestler. This woman had never watched wrestling before in her life. Always thought that stuff was below her. And now she’s obsessed with this former pro-wrestler. She watched one show about him, for reasons I’m not aware of, and I could tell almost instantly where it was headed. I thought “here we go…” So now the Bret Hart obsession is in full swing. Has she already dropped close to $1000 in vintage Bret Hart shirts on eBay? Of course. Bought all the stickers and magnets and all sorts of other stupid crap she can find? Yep. Does she send me Bret Hart YouTube clips all.day.long when she’s supposed to be working? Yes she does.
So, I better get to work brushing up on my Bret Hart knowledge and tag lines. This is the key to getting laid when it comes to her. I’m used to this by now. It’s just not something that I can easily explain to anyone I know.
I mean, there’s are things I’m a fan of, but she is next level. I can’t think of anyone I know who is her age and acts like this. She was voted most likely to grow up and become a groupie when she was in high school, so this is absolutely nothing new for her. Sigh.
Many are lighthearted in the comments
plastic_Schedule_891
I mean he's the best there is, was and ever will be so that one makes sense at least .
You don’t think I’m hearing that 10 times a day now?
I better start planning that trip to Calgary.
Limerence is mentioned
poopchutethemoon
Yeah my bouts of limerence have been with people I’ve dated but reading that made me realize that I was very much being obsessive and it was totally all consuming. Glad it’s over honestly. Those feelings are exhausting.
Very interesting to hear you say the feelings are exhausting. It’s like a full time job for my wife, so I could see that. She told me she’s at work with her door closed pretending to be working, but she’s really watching Bret Hart videos on YouTube. She can’t even focus on her job.
OOP reveals more of the life he’s signed up for in the comments
get-bread-not-head
You've pretended to act like other men for 20 years?!
Damn dude, I hope you're finding ways to accept it and cope. That sounds rough, having to be someone else to have sex... stay strong king
Nah, I just learn their catchphrases or gain some deep fan knowledge that’ll impress her or maybe perfect a vocal impersonation of them that I can drop at the opportune time. The vocal impersonations work the best as far as making her like me and being like “ok, wanna have sex now?”
another_canoe
But what do you guys actually share *together*? That's not related to the obsession of the season? (I'm not going to even bother asking if she's tried to learn about any of your hobbies/interests).
NGL, this is all pretty grim to me, my man....and I'm someone who loves having a partner who is passionate about things and nerds out.
I fear that you've spent so long with her infatuations steamrolling over your own interests and preferences that you have convinced yourself that getting attention-by-proxy as your main source of validation from your SPOUSE is a healthy way to live.
If I told you that I was big into anime and Japanese RPGs and the only way I get interested in doing it with my actual wife is if she adopts the catch phrases /personality characteristics of my latest "waifu", would you feel some concern for my wife's mental health?
I'm also wondering about this spending....
She’s pretty dismissive of my interests and hobbies. I’ve told her I’d like her to try to pretend to show a little more interest sometimes. I make an effort to show real interest in her stuff and she does not do the same. I’m very into music and I do geek out over guitars and gear and things like that and she couldn’t tell you anything about any of the guitars I own other than “he has a blue one, he has a red one. “ We do love some of the same bands. Of course she wants to fuck the band members and I just want to talk about the chord progression on my favorite guitar tracks, but it’s close enough. We like a lot of the same movies and that sort of thing. We have the same sense of humor and can keep each other laughing for ages. We have a lot of the same views on life and on the world in general.
I don’t know, we just get each other I guess.
I would be concerned about the waifu thing, but I guess in my case she always likes guys who I think are pretty cool anyway. She has good taste, at least. If she has to be obsessing over some other guy constantly at least she does it over guys I can respect on some level.
Regarding the spending, I spend way more than she does. Only difference is it’s not usually fan merch I’m buying. But she tolerate my spending when it comes to stuff like guitar gear. She rolls her eyes and reprimands me but she tolerates it and just knows I won’t stop. I’m the same when it comes to her fan stuff. I get it, she wants the vintage 1993 Bret Hart shirt that costs hundreds…not a modern shirt that just anyone could go online and buy for $25 right now. She wants the cool, rare stuff. I’m the same with my guitars so I guess it’s like we understand each other in some way. I think it’s weird to become a fan of somebody and 2 days later drop thousands on them though. At least my money pit is consistent.
I think we both feel like we’re the only person who will semi understand and tolerate all of this stuff from each other
Not included here, but in several comments, OOP definitely brings up his wife’s looks as a positive in the relationship and he finds her antics at times amusing or even attractive.
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
I recently wrote about my wife suddenly discovering former pro-wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart one day after never even knowing of his existence, experienced love at first site, and is now even deeper than love with him then she was a month ago.
Tonight, I experienced a good hour of her sobbing, literal sobs, after watching the Bret Hart A&E biography. “I just love him so much. I love him with all my heart. I don’t want any more bad things to happen to him. Also, I’m very jealous he’s not my husband.”
She also went from not wanting any kids to suddenly wanting a baby so she can name it Bret (a girl or a boy, doesn’t matter…they will be named Bret). And she almost had me convinced, but I blame that on the heat of the moment.
She’s bought all sorts of clothes just like his. My wife now dresses like Bret Hart in and outside of the ring.
The past few days she’s been acting really annoyed with me. Finally I’m like “Wtf am I doing wrong?” I bought you Bret Hart stuff for your birthday! I call you Mrs. Bret Hart now, even though you’re my wife. I even sent you flowers at work from Bret. I mean that was supposed to get me points because she knew they were from me and I was playing into her obsession which she’s now apparently shared with everyone she works with. They’ve bought her a giant Bret Hart wall decal for her office.
Ok, so I did forget our anniversary which was very recently. Totally forgot it. Then again, so did she. She was too busy masturbating over Bret Hart to remember our wedding anniversary. I mean bad husband points for me obviously but all the birthday gifts had to have made up for it. I mean, I even ordered a Bret Hart birthday banner and got her a Bret Hart themed birthday cake as if she were a 7 year old boy in the year 1994.
So why is she acting so annoyed lately? Why does she act like she hates me and can’t stand to even be in the same room as me? She finally admits…I’m not Bret Hart. None of her obsession have ever been this bad. She’s seriously threatening me with divorce now because I’m not Bret Hart! She “just wants a guy like that.” She had to go walk the dog today and cry over it, how much she hates me and wishes she was married to Bret Hart. Oh fuck me you want a guy like your dad because that’s what Bret Hart is like…exactly like her dad, the same look, the same hair, the same damn age.
I told her I think she should get checked out for autism or some other sort of disorder. Her obsessions have never been this bad. She should make an appointment now because the waitlist is long. She just laughed. There’s nothing wrong with her. She just has different taste in men now, according to her.
Some comments
psychick
Therapist here - she needs to see a psychiatrist. This is mental illness to the extreme. Either she goes, or you leave. This is ultimatum territory. And, stop giving into her obsession. It makes it worse.
nualt42
Man, when she threatens divorce, take it. Jump at the chance.
Hell, sit, be a good boy and offer your fucking paw if that’s what it takes to get treated to an exit strategy. Don’t worry about dignity, sounds like you gave that up a long time ago.
She’s even looked up the divorce process for where we live and says we can be amicable about everything. She assures me she’s not looking to take any thing that is rightfully mine. She just wants a clean break.
Sophie3546
I’m surprised he even lasted this long. Calling her “Ms. Bret Hart” …..I can’t even fathom.
Excuse me, it’s MRS Bret Hart, not Ms.
NEW UPDATE - March 8th, 2024
Hi, you might remember me as the guy whose wife was obsessed with JFK (35th President of the United States), then experienced a world wind romance with former WWF pro-wrestler Bret Hart (the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be), but now she’s met a new man. I thought the Bret Hart obsession was the worst one yet. Never has she threatened divorce or told me she hated me because I wasn’t the object of her desire. Luckily, that was a relatively quick love affair for her. 3-4 months is a short run for her and one of her men. But I should be careful what I wish for.
This new one is the first time I’ve felt that I should maybe, just possibly, feel legitimately scared. Her newly developing obsession is Patrick Bateman. Yep, the character from American Psycho. Specifically, the movie version played by Christian Bale.
It’s not like she’s just met the guy. She’s seen the movie before but it doesn’t appear that they hit it off initially. Now, she’s suddenly started making constant reference to him. Bret is gone and now it’s just Patrick Bateman and maniacal laughter and purchasing all of the items in his skin care routine. I’d like to see her do 1000 crunches though. That’ll be the day.
She has always admitted to living the 80s preppy/yuppie look. She loves assholes. Assholes are a weakness for her. Psychopaths? Hmm…that’s a new one, unless you count the time she was in love with the Menendez Brothers years ago. God, the pastel Ralph Lauren sweaters she used to try to make me wear. Pastels are just not my shades.
Now, there was a time many years ago where I did have to hide all the knives in our home. I was legitimately scared that she was going to murder me. I forget what she was upset about now. I am, after all, her type - an asshole. I did something that bothered her and she ran for the knives. I had to hide them and then lock myself in a bedroom because she was literally chasing me. That was before she decided that she’d be the female Patrick Bateman. Granted, she says “only mean in the looks and snob department-nothing else.”
She’s trying to determine what the female equivalent to a Patrick Bateman hairstyle would be right now. I’m just worried about the bank account with this obsession. The amount she’ll spend on business cards alone.
Comments
lemonade_sparkle
Your wife is severely mentally ill, and needs help quickly.
Is there no chance of persuading her to get help?
If not, what preparations have you made to leave her?
I’m a strange way, I think these obsessions are what keep her sane.
Her getting help is funny though. It’s not going to happen. Sure I’ve tried to persuade her to see a therapist but she just won’t.
ctIaTErA
I probably shouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am right now. This is truly bizarre. Does she narrate her morning routine in the mirror each day now?
But in all seriousness, she’s chased you with a knife? Thats far more concerning than any of the obsessions with these men, and yes I did read the post about the wrestler. I thought it was just very quirky behavior before, but she seems truly unhinged now.
It was years ago. Like 10+ years ago. I’m much stronger than her so it’s not hard to hold her down if need be.
I AM NOT OOP
NO BRIGADING, NO HARASSMENT

Hi! This story will require quite a bit of context (that can be found here https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/s/2Vo9S0QKF1). Long story short, my (F26) ex Fitz (M 32) keeps finding reasons to sue me to get full custody of our son Tim (M5). He sued several times in the past, but now everything went too far.
After a previous fierce custody battle we had an iron tight co parenting agreement. It took ages to reach one as he kept trying to include clauses just to make my life miserable. Right after graduating, when Tim was around 1 yo, in the middle of our custody battle, I would take Tim to work with me a lot. I would have long hours at the beginning, trying to make a name for myself, while Fitz was trying to paint me as a negligent mother for leaving Tim with a nanny while studying, back during finals. Hence, every other day after 4:30, when most people would go home, my mom would drop Tim at my lab and he would stay and play next to me in my office until 8 when we would go home. I would offer him plenty of attention as I would mostly run time consuming simulations that would require little involvement from my side.
Knowing this, Fitz fought tooth and nail to stop me from doing this, knowing how much easier this made our life. I work in a lab that focuses on various incurable diseases research. I almost never get in touch with the biological side as I am in the modelling team, doing mostly maths and coding. My office is in a different building than the lab and Tim has only ever been in my own office, far from the biological material. However, in the end, after arguing that my workplace is dangerous, Fitz managed to get a clause that would prevent me from having Tim with me at work. In order not to have it sound personal, the clause stated that Tim was not to be taken in any place with a BR factor greater than 1, unless his safety would be at play.
Where we are from, the BR factor of an establishment measures the risk of getting an infectious disease. Any biological lab has it greater than 1, by default, even if they do not work with any viruses . During the pandemic, all hospitals got their BR increased over 1.
Now, after an emergency, Fitz sued me for breaching our agreement. He has had a private detective in me for the better part of the past two years and kept trying building a case against me for “repeatedly violating our contract “. He kept using petty situations, like Tim being alone with my dad for 2 minutes into the men’s room at the mall while my mom and I are right in front of the door, waiting for them, even though my dad is not on the pre approved list as he has epilepsy. Or me not having an epi pen at my home because I gave it to Fitz as his was about to expire and it was his turn to pick up Tim who has severe allergies, even though our agreement said to have one at all times. (Just to make it clear, I bought a new one before getting Tim back). He also tried to paint me as a danger for having had seen a psychiatrist in highschool and early college. The reason was an eating disorder, nothing that could be any danger, which Fitz was aware of.
Even though all his so said proofs and breaches of contract were silly, with the most serious one described in the linked post, the trial got very intense, with him attacking me on a personal level. While we live in a big city, it quickly became the biggest gossip in our community, being on the lips of all the moms from pre school, most of them siding with me. Unfortunately, as much as I tried and couldn’t keep it all from Tim, since he was asked lots of questions by the kids at pre-school who heard about the situation. He became very stressed and started having night terrors.
I tried to reason with Fitz for Tim’s sake with no luck. 2 days ago, Fitz’s sister, Mia, came to see me. She wanted to give me something that could end all the stress Tim was under.
Almost 3 years ago, Fitz’s dad had a heart attack and almost died, but made a miraculous recovery. While he was in a coma, Fitz and Mia took Tim to the hospital to see his grandfather for what was thought to be the last time. Fitz’s entire family agreed there was no point in telling me, since I was very empathetic about the entire situation and even suggested that Tim and I could go visit him in the hospital once I picked him up from Fitz. They refused, however, since Tim already visited him, but did not mention this to me. She gave me texts to prove everything she was saying, and showing that Fitz knowingly breached our agreement and hid this from me for years on purpose.
My lawyer says that since this event occurred before all the ones he tries to use against me, it could get the entire case dismissed immediately, since it would have voided the parenting agreement we had. He guarantees me a win nonetheless, it would just take longer if we don’t use this. My parents think I should be the bigger person and not use it, as it is cruel and I should be an example for Tim for when he will be older. They insist that I would be in the wrong, especially since I would win nonetheless. I, however, just want to end this nightmare for good, and take care of the emotional health of my son. So WIBTAH?