I’ve been trying to do better for myself and not fall into toxic patterns im so accustomed to so I cut connection with my favorite person yesterday and I feel like I’m internally spiraling.
Rationally I know the connection wasn’t good for me. He brought out a lot of my negative characteristics by bread crumbing me affection. I often would over extend myself, and go against my boundaries to retain his attention. Overall I can see how bad he was for my mental health so the cut was necessary but all I want now is to message him back telling him I’m sorry and that we can remain friends.
I have a loving relationship with my girlfriend, and my FP has been a problem within our relationship.
The hyperfixation is so strong and he is on my mind constantly since the break. I’ve been a mess, and haven’t been able to function since the break. I laid in bed all day yesterday and eventhough I have things to do I can’t bring myself to do them.
I’m doing all I can to reach out to other friends, I’m trying to engage in healthy coping behaviors but it is so hard. I feel like I’m absolutely crazy, and that most people are probably better off without me.

Genocide looked to the sky. He thought of his mentor. The one who had saved him. He remembered his childhood. How powerless he was. He remembered the anger. He never wanted to hurt anybody. He thought of all the times he showed compassion. How much they hurt him for it. He saw the world before him, a graveyard. Humans. People that were supposed to be made in the image of some divine creator. They were but maggots feasting upon his remains. They ate away at his very being until nothing human remained. His thoughts were no longer his own. He had no joys in life that mattered. He hated humanity more than he could love anything about himself. He remember his first killing spree. Being gunned down by police. Left for dead. He remembered a hooded figure moving towards him. Getting closer the more he neared his death. He saw its pale face. Its impossibly black eyes. It was a man. This figure in question appeared to be of Japanese nationality with long, straight, loose hair. It emanated extreme malice. It offered him a choice. A purpose. Power. He thought the figure a reaper but it identified itself as Amakusa Masataka. Masataka guided him on how to kill and gave him specific locations to kill people in. In a sense, he became a hitman for quotas of people. He inquired what Masataka was. The presence of evil, his ability to appear and disappear at will, how he could control what people could see him and what people couldn't. While vague, years of killing for this being offered some insight. Amakusa Masataka belonged to a group of people not of this world. His people had been corrupted by a dark force long ago and had aligned themselves with the warlord who had subjugated their version of Japan. Their dark high priest assisted the warlord along with two others. These four rulers in turn served a larger order. The four were tasked with bringing about the end of the current world as an act of retribution for some fallen deity. Masataka's people acted as covert operatives for this empire. They were feared across the land and were collectively referred to as "Shinigami". An agent of the coming apocalypse, a servant of evil possessed by the will of those gods of death, Genocide would walk the earth.
Genocide stepped toward the station. A police cruiser rammed into him. He pulled out a knife and stabbed the hood of the car. The inhuman force of the knife created sparks which burst the engine into flames. The car crashed into a streetlight and exploded. A second cruiser neared the scene. No way a man could have done this. Yet still, out of the fires Genocide strode forth. It set upon the second vehicle, shooting out it's tires while jumping 9 feet into the air. The car tries to reverse but crashes into a wall. Genocide lands on the hood and kicks through the front window. Glass shatters under its boot, blinding the two officers inside. Genocide shoots one of the officers with a shotgun, killing him. The second officer in the passenger seat readies his pistol and takes aim. Only two shots fired, both directed at Genocide's head. It casually cocks its neck to avoid them. Then it grabs the officer's arm, breaking it. Genocide uses its free hand to grab the officer's head and bangs it into the dashboard no less than 5 times. The skull is shattered on the final impact. Genocide jumps off the car and continues on his mission.
Detective Evans speaks through a megaphone," This is your first and final warning. Stand down or we will use any and all means at our disposal to put you down." Genocide dropped its shotgun and raised its hands. A group of five SWAT team members rushed out the station, surrounding Genocide with riot shields. An officer accompanies them, edging behind the figure to apply handcuffs. Suddenly, Genocide springs to life , grabbing the officer behind him. He flips the officer over his head, slamming him into the pavement at his feet. Then Genocide stomps his head causing it to burst. Genocide drops a flash bomb from his coat sleeve, blinding the SWAT team as he draws his knife. He drives it into one SWAT member, the knife puncturing the shield and piercing his chest. Genocide kicks the corpse away withdrawing his knife. He goes to another, this time using the end of his boot toe in a rising kick to disarm their shield. He grabs them by the throat and drives the knife slowly into their eye socket. Another is tackled to the ground and beaten to death despite still being under the shield. Another is picked up and thrown into the fires still burning from the first auto incident. In no time, Genocide stood before an indistinguishable mass of gore, blood streaking across his black leather outfit. He laughed" So this is all you can give me. I'm not entertained." Officers took aim from the station windows, and snipers did so from other rooftops. Genocide laughed maniacally as he was rained down upon from all sides by a hailstorm of bullets. His body convulsed, but he did not fall. Moments more and he was on his knees. Still though, their efforts were futile. Gracia looked out and saw a black mist coalescing around the man in black. His blood. Blood erupted from his body only to transform into this dark mist that reentered his wounds. Genocide screamed. No. It was just an elevated pitch in his laughter. Optimism failed everyone yet again. Gracia saw Genocide holding something in his right hand. She could only make out a beeping red light. Genocide pushed the button triggering the carefully concealed explosives he laid in preparation for this event. C4 explosives went off in all the places he saw fit. The sniping posts he couldn't reach. The assault of lead lightened. Then Genocide drew an RPG from...somewhere. He collected himself and fired at the station's entrance. The explosion shook the station. From inside, the lights began to flicker. Communications were down on all fronts. Had he modified the rocket with some type of EMP? Not good. Amisdst the confusion Genocide entered using smoke bombs to mask his presence. Moving like a shadow, he killed everyone in the lobby silently with his knife. He made his way to the holding cells. Still they chanted. Still they praised. Still they raved for the arrival of genocide. Genocide shot the lock opening the cell. Jim Jimenez walked out and bowed before his master. Genocide smiled. He couldn't have imagined how proficient he had gotten with possession. Well, not quite possession. He had known of the Shinigami's ability to share their thoughts and emotions with humans. Shinigami like his mentor were ancient. They had so many years of memories, such strong a hatred for life that they overwhelmed the personality of the victim. The victim sees themselves as one of them. Shinigami can't force the will of the victim, so they find those who are already similar to them in some way. Genocide found the collective universal distrust of police to be a prime sentiment to capitalize on. He armed the inmates, infecting them with samples of his own dark essence.One particular inmate caught Genocide's eye. He knew the man's work. An arsonist. The one whom he recalls was responsible for blowing up his first car way back in high school. Rather than a standard firearm, Genocide gave the man a random assortment of grenades containing a special surprise. Genocide showed them visions of anarchy, of sending a message to a society that used and disregarded them. While this was also true of how he felt, years of living in darkness had changed him. He needed no purpose. No end goal. No justification. He just wanted to watch the world burn.
Genocide's small army broke off to engage several different wings of the station. Genocide went to the security room. He found Wayne, his informant, playing some FPS on one of the monitors. Wayne took of his headphones and asked," You kill everyone yet?" Genocide responded," No. You should get going before that happens. Your life becomes fair game if I run out of pigs to cook." Wayne clapped his hands, "Aight, GC my man, say less." He packed his things and left. Genocide drew a twin pair of handguns and laid waste to the station. He followed a group that took cover in the men's restroom. Kicking open multiple stalls he was surprised to find...nothing. Where had they gone? He turned around and saw his mentor, Masataka, smiling at him. It looked like him. Long, dark hair, black clothing, and soulless, empty eyes. But it wasn't. It was Genocide's own reflection in the mirror. Genocide smiled. He didn't notice the changes at first. They must have happened gradually. Subconsciously. From the final stall, an officer sprung into action, rushing Genocide, hitting him point blank with a shockgun round. Genocide felt the tingling sensation electrifying his body and grew numb. In spite of the pain, he took a single step. Then, another. He came within striking range of the officer and snatched the shockgun. Two more officers erupted from another stall, battering him with baton strikes. Genocide felt nothing. He clutched the shockgun in his hand like a bat and went to work pulverizing his attackers. An officer kicked in the bathroom door, a woman holding a pistol. She fired multiple times to no effect. Genocide stood covered in blood. He even let her reload. Twice. He wanted to see her despair. Her hopelessness. He walked towards her, shrugging off bullets as they pierced his body. His wounds healed nigh instantly due to the dark essence he had been imbued with. He held her face with both hands, lifting her body off the ground. As she screamed, he used her head to shatter the restroom mirror, running down the full length of it while smashing her into it at several points. He dropped the remains of what he held, washed his hands with soap, dried them, then exited the restroom.
The inmates that rallied for the cause of genocide attacked the station. Fortunately, they were nowhere near Genocide in terms of power and only carried one type of firearm each. They shared his healing ability but could be killed quite easily. Gracia encountered a sniper on the end or a west wing hallway. Other officers waited behind corners unable to get close. Gracia noticed the faulty lighting. In this hallway, the lights flickered in intervals of 3 seconds. Finding a pattern and timing her movements, she rushed the sniper at the exact moment the lights went out. Running the length of the hall, Gracia zigzagged, dodging the sniper inmate's bullets. She jumped on a wall, ran 3 feet on it, then kicked off it, pouncing on the assailant. She fired five shots into him, making sure to hit the brain and the heart. Two severe injuries that were impossible for Shinigami essence to heal simultaneously. Elsewhere, Evans took on another escaped inmate. A vehicular arsonist named Carson. Carson had a bag filled with an assortment of different grenades and was happily giving them out like candy on Halloween. "A flash bang here, a bit of tear gas there. Oh. Wait! Was that an ice grenade? Did the explosion freeze your leg to the floor? Whoops. Maybe a fire grenade will melt that for you. Hold on let me get one fore you," Carson rambled gleefully. Evans looked at the carnage before him. Officers burning. Officers partially frozen in blocks of ice. He took a breath and aimed his wristgun. He steadied his right forearm. Carson readied to throw a random grenade. Evans shot it the moment it left Carson's hand. The grenade exploded directly in front of Carson. Both Evans and Carson looked at each other in shock. Confetti. A party grenade? Carson quickly fumbled for another but was tackled and restrained by several officers. Meanwhile in the South wing, Lary had some colleagues set a trap for another shotgun toting inmate. He had them bait the inmate and flee. Giving chase he turned a corner and ran straight into Lary's fist. The inmate recovered and motioned to shoot Lary. "Let's tango. " Lary gave the code word. Nearby officers activated a device. A signal jammer of sorts. The inmate shoved the barrel of his gun into Lary's gut and pulled the trigger. Nothing. The special signal jammer in question was designed for firearms. It was a last resort as it left officers just as defenseless. Lary was having fun. He boxed the inmate in hand to hand combat. Despite the inmate's enhanced strength, Lary's technique pulled through. Lary ducked under one of the inmate's wide punches and did some type of rising uppercut where he jumped off the ground while spinning. One of the other officers whispered" The rising dragon." Lary smiled giving a thumbs up" Yeah, it was a rising dragon uppercut. Saw it in one O my kid's vidya games. Thought I'd try it out while I'm jacked on adrenaline".
Jim Jimenez looked long and hard at himself in the mirror. He was in the women's restroom. Some brainless woman had broken the men's restroom mirror with her face. For the first time in a long while Jim could think clearly. He was becoming sane. At the least he was no longer a raving lunatic. The life essence of the dark gods had healed the wounds to both his body and his mind. He saw his face, his scraggly dirty beard. He found a razor and shaved. He trimmed his beard somewhat. He liked it. He washed his hair. It fell down his face like silk, no longer greasy. His bloodshot eyes once burning with crazed intensity had cooled. He blinked. Just for a second, he saw the man known as Genocide. The man that attacked him. The one that killed him and gave him new life. The drug dealers. The police. They were all the same in his eyes now. They were all to blame for the world being what it is. Jim wanted to hate them. He wanted to take revenge, but he felt nothing. It didn't matter. He knew he was wronged, could logically justify acting against them, but he just didn't care anymore. About anything. He was finally free. Sensing his presence was no longer needed here, Jim vanished into the night. He needed to find someone who had had the answers he needed. Himself. Who had he been? Who was he now? Who could he become? Where was he going? So many questions to ponder indefinitely. So much time left in the rest of his life.
Genocide ran down the station's halls raining hailstorms of bullets upon its occupants. He had a handgun in each hand as well as a wristgun on each wrist. This effectively gave him 4 separate firearms that he could use simultaneously. Lary regrouped with Gracia, Evans, and a handful of others. They radioed all surviving officers near Genocide to flee to the roof. This plan had been set in motion days before the assault and had been kept hidden from most of the force. The plan involved scheduling flights for several helicopters to arrive at some point after Genocide arrived. There would be no way for him to prepare for them and pre-scheduling their arrival ensured they arrived regardless of if they were called or not. Lary and the others set about preparing the second jamming device. Genocide stood among a hallway of bodies. He saw one man clinging to life trying to crawl away. He decided on trying that other thing he saw his master do. He grabbed the dying man and pinned him to the wall. Slowly he drove a knife into his chest. As the man's life slipped away, something else entered his body. Genocide channeled a small amount of his essence into the vessel. He had steadily done this with other casualties around the station whose bodies were somewhat salvageable. He dropped the body he was holding and looked upon the others. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his eyed were black, both sclera and iris. The scene before him changed. Genocide had a vision. He saw a dead gray wasteland littered with bodies. These people however weren't cops and wore traditional Japanese attire. In his hand wasn't a gun or knife but a short sickle akin to a farming tool. He heard a dark voice call out to him. Slowly, the corpses around him began to rise, now mere puppets bound eternally to their master's whim. The bodies sold to the reaper who had claimed their lives. Genocide's vision ended. His eyes had returned normal. Around him, dead cops began to rise. His dark essence had entered their bodies and reanimated them. He sent his dead army to attack the officers fleeing to the roof of the station. These zombies swarmed the stairwell giving chase to the few survivors. There were five of them. They had two flights of stairs to climb and a horde of their former colleagues close behind them. One officer tripped and was set upon by the horde. The zombies didn't bite them but held them firmly in place. The other four officers stared down wondering what to do. They could hear Genocide chuckling. They could hear humming. They could feel the temperature rising. Their colleague and the two zombies holding him were hit by an enormous green fireball. Genocide had fired a Magnum Opus and had charged the bullet to level 3. The Magnum Opus was simply a magnum that shot fireballs, with bullets that could be charged by holding down the trigger. It had three levels of charges. Level 1 was a small reddish ball of plasma. Level 2 was slightly larger and yellow. Level 3 was the maximum charge and resulted in a large slow moving green blast of energy. The officer was ignited and Genocide watched gleefully as the force of the blast sent him flying through a wall. The four officers continued up firing occasionally to slow down the zombies. Soon they made it to a door leading to the roof. Before one officer could reach it, he was sniped by Genocide, a bullet to the head killing him instantly. The remaining three made it out. They regrouped with the others already there, 12 in total, including Lary, Evans, and Gracia. This would be their final stand. They just had to hold out until Genocide made it up there. They just had to keep Genocide occupied until the helicopters arrived. Genocide slowly ascended the stairs behind his horde. On the roof, the remaining survivors faced off against waves of the undead. Evans recognized the attackers. These zombies were being controlled by nanomachines. He heard the stories of several weapons encountered by soldiers on the battlefield. These creatures were called Metaldeads as they were reanimated via machines. They had been officially banned by most of the worlds' governments for being unethical. However, this did not stop the technology from being spread still between shady organizations, terrorists, etc. Evans wondered how Genocide got this form of nanotechnology. Evans long speculated that the dark essence used by most of the killers they encountered was a a form of nanotech however it was different from anything else he had seen or heard about. The dark essence seemed to be an amalgamation of other types of nanotech. Evans had to save his inquiries for later. He reloaded his wristgun and took aim at the approaching group of Metaldeads. Gracia steadied her handgun and shot two Metaldeads in the head. From the single door countless arms seemed to spill forth from the darkness. The other officers took turns firing in intervals. this allowed them to create a steady stream of fire where no more that three guns needed to be reloaded at once. The horde seemed to thin out over time as if they were making progress. In actuality, the Metaldeads were just making room for Genocide to enter. Genocide exploded in a sprint from the door. Everyone fired upon the killer. Genocide had now chosen a wrist mounted mini flamethrower to use as his weapon. He stormed past the oncoming bullets taking some damage, but refused to slow down. He unleashed a stream of fire that caught five of the officers in one fell swoop. Gracia fired five rounds into Genocide's face. He stumbled back. Lary took the chance to fire several mine gun bullets at Genocide's feet. The mines quickly detected his movement and exploded. In seconds, Genocide was on his back.
Staring at the night sky Genocide saw the moon. He reached for it. He called for the darkness to give him more power. His wounds began healing. In the sky he could hear the whirl of propellers. There were six helicopters in total. The first two had evacuated the survivors while the others stayed to engage Genocide. Genocide got up and unstrapped the sniper rifle from his back. He stood before the searchlights as a black silhouette, cornered but unwilling to back down. Lary stared down at him smiling. "Okay!" He shouted, "Let's Tango!" Upon this declaration the second jamming device was activated. Now, isolated on the roof, Genocide's guns couldn't be fired and the helicopters were out of range of the device. Now Genocide stood like a sitting duck. A helicopter fired a rocket. Genocide side stepped and grabbed it. He turned his body redirecting the rocket to hit another helicopter. As it exploded Genocide drew his knife and threw it at another helicopter. Behind the knife was such force that it shattered the helicopter window's glass, embedding itself in the pilot. This helicopter too went down where it exploded. "Holy clucknuggets!Did you see that!?" Lary said dumbfounded. Evans looked out the helicopter door he was in jaw open in shock. "There's no way." He collected himself quickly and radioed the remaining two helicopters to keep moving and to use their machineguns as much as possible. The helicopters reigned down upon Genocide tearing apart his body. Shreds of leather and darkened blood sprayed across the pavement of the roof. Gracia watched as Genocide's body was destroyed repeatedly as it tried to heal. Surely he had to stop at some point. After 10 minutes the helicopters had exhausted their cache of ammunition and soldiers opted to fire their own rifles and occasionally throw grenades. After about six minutes, they too had run out of bullets. Genocide stood unfazed. He had long since healed himself and now appeared intangible with gunfire seeming to pass through his body. His coat once ripped , now appeared whole though on closer inspection seemed to writhe. Gracia looked in horror as she remembered the tales her adopted father had told her. Tales he had in turn heard from his predecessors. Every so often officers had reported encounters with ghost like beings cloaked in a cloud of living dark mist. The beings were rumored to be responsible for the deaths of multiple people ranging from scientists, veterans, mafia, politicians, etc. They were seen near such crime scenes and even more shockingly appeared around several sites where suicides were committed. These beings were reportedly impervious to bullets and filled anyone who got near with an impending sense of dread. If Genocide was connected to them or somehow turning into one , there was little chance they would be able to defeat him. Gracia's fears were confirmed when she saw that Genocide's leather coat had been destroyed and he had replaced it with the dark mist coalescing from his own spilled blood. The dark mist, swirling, grew larger and several tendrils sprouted out from it. Gracia could briefly make out a figure standing next to Genocide. A hooded figure cloaked in the same black substance. The figure stared up at her with soulless, blackened eyes which seemed to beckon her to jump from the aircraft she was standing in. Compelling her to give in to the death that plagued the earth. Genocide kneeled to his master. The Shinigami, Masataka stared down at his disciple. "You have done a great service to us. Even now the sealed god stirs in its slumber. Its...Awakening will soon be upon us. It calls out for war. It begs for famine. It longs to continue its conquest. We are the death it so desires. The death that is necessary for this civilization to grow. Use the power that I have bestowed upon you. Finish the mission as you see fit." The Shinigami vanished and Genocide stood.Genocide stared at his hands. He remembered the first killing spree. He was on a bus. It stopped. A woman got on the bus and walked to the back smiling as she passed him. Something about her eyes unnerved him. They were so bright but something dark reflected inside them. He ignored the thought and put in his headphones. In minutes he had dozed off. He jumped awake. He looked around and froze in panic. All around him, everyone had been hacked to pieces. He saw the driver, actively being stabbed by a masked assailant. The mask, painted white with black eyeholes, stared back at him. It raised a finger over where its lips would be. Even under the expressionless visage, he could feel that same smile. He ran home that morning. He went to his room to find it destroyed. His posters, his computer, his tv, everything, had been ruined. He turned around and saw a man at the end of the hallway holding a sledge hammer. "The hell you been, boy?", his stepdad sneered. The man dropped his hammer and walked closer, veins pulsing with rage. He tried to explain how his car had caught fire forcing him to walk 4 miles to the nearest bus stop, but the man's fist was faster than his words. "Boy!Answer me when I talk to you!!" the man says as he backhands the taste out of the would be Genocide's mouth. He took that beating for several minutes before being left to stare at his ransacked room. He hated how his stepdad went out of his way to destroy the things he loved. Soon, another set of footsteps could be heard. It was his mother standing behind his locked door. She didn't knock, or say anything. She just stood there, doing nothing as always. He never knew if she came to talk to him or apologize. All he knew was that she could never bring herself to speak to or even acknowledge him. Maybe out of guilt or perhaps shame. A year or two later after he had had enough he ran away from home. Living out on the streets alone, without friends, or family, he would embark on countless killing sprees. These killings weren't of his own volition however. He was coerced by some corrupt officers from The Unit. They made him kill on their behalf. Sometimes they were protesters, sometimes they were drug dealers, other times, petty criminals they couldn't be bothered to process. It was routine for him to be used to kill entire houses of drug riddled addicts. During one such venture he entered a drug den, killing the dealer as instructed. He took out several junkies before turning to leave. A woman who survived her injuries clung to his heel begging him to stop. Looking down he aimed the handgun he was carrying at her head of long disheveled brown hair and fired. Feeling nothing, he kicked her body aside like trash when it hit him. Her face. This woman had been his mother. What was she doing in a place like this? He felt a shock of emotion. He wondered if she had always been like this, or had she changed after he left. He never made amends, but decided to stop killing from then on. The unit did not like that. Once it became apparent that he was no longer of use to them they started a manhunt to apprehend him with lethal force. They found him. They killed him. But he survived.
He remembered the girl on the bus. He remembered her eyes. Those of a sadistic killer. Still there was something else inside them. Something faint but deeper. So. Much. Sadness. Just like him. He felt the hatred begin to spread. His purpose, he decided, was to make all humans rot in the hell they created for him.
These people, he thought to himself, these living diseases, all needed to die. Their struggles, their problems, they spread like cancer to others. The only cure for humanity's sin, its collective wrongdoings, was genocide.
Around him, dark tendrils continued to form and expand, spinning in a vortex. Genocide pulled out two pistols. He squeezed the triggers to no effect. "As I see fit, huh? Hehe." He squeezed both guns in his hands, breaking them into pieces. He concentrated. In his hands, two more guns materialized now completely black due to being forged from the dark essence. Forged by his will. Immune to the jamming device that shut down conventional firearms. He raised his arms at each remaining helicopter and opened fire. Countless tendrils whipped out and slashed at his targets joining the dark essence bullets. It was chaos. Dark tendrils and bullets tore through every direction as Genocide spun and swirled around in 360 degrees firing randomly with purpose. A tendril pierced Gracia's right arm, another, her abdomen. She was however, fortunate, as the other passengers of her helicopter were dismembered. She barely had time to jump from the vehicle before it crashed. She fell 2 yards onto solid concrete. She felt immense pain as her right shoulder shattered on impact. She looked up to see Genocide's blade like appendages ripping through the other escape helicopters. She rolled onto her back and tried to steady herself. Within seconds her body began to repair itself. The nanocells inside her had saved her life but were now depleted. She would need another supplement lest she receive another fatal injury. The standard nanocells she and the others had were much less potent than those of the killers they faced. In truth, they had only minimal strength boosts being able to lift 5-8 more pounds than before and healing being limited to one or two fatal injuries so long as death didn't occur instantly. Gracia blacked out. She awoke the next morning in a hospital. There the doctors refilled her nanocells. She learned that the station had been left in ruins. Genocide had detonated some type of minature nuke following his rampage. He always blew up the stations as if to send a message. Gracia looked out the window thinking about why she became a cop. Twice her family had been murdered by them. Her biological family had been killed in an on record drug raid committed by a group of corrupt officers called The Unit. She had been adopted by another officer that arrived at the scene who found her as a child hiding in a closed. Sadly, he too was killed for trying to expose the activities of The Unit. Gracia joined the force to avenge both losses and bring justice to the killers that disguised themselves as normal people. Law enforcement was neither good, nor bad. It depended upon the people that made it up. In the dying corrupt world Gracia lived in, she vowed to be a beacon of light. Evans laid in a bed adjacent to Lary. "That damn Genocide's somethin else in' he?Like the stories you told us were understatements. That man could legit not die at this point in the story. Like he has friggin plot armor or somthin.'' Evans cut him off" I get it. We all got our asses handed to us. But did you see that ..thing that appeared next to him. Right before he created that black vortex that wiped us out. That must have something to do with his power. Maybe there's a still a way to stop him."Lary chimed in," That fella looked like he was on the way to a black metal concert wit all the black facepaint he was wearin' Creeped me out to be honest." As the survivors mulled over their predicament, the cycle of evil continued to spread elsewhere.
Budley flips through the pages of a magazine. He checks his watch. He looks around the gas station and doesn't see any customers. Seizing the opportunity, he puts in his headphones and begins playing an imaginary guitar as he jams to a progressive deathcore album. Oblivious to the screams coming from outside, the store clerk moves on to thumping two candy bars on the counter to simulate drums. Budley sees that his shift has ended and begins locking up the store. He sweeps the aisles and jumps as a shadow appears behind him. He turns and sees a well groomed bearded man dressed in a black hoodie, black shirt, and black and gray camo pants. The man holds out his hand and smiles. Budley rings up the pack of nicotine substitute gum. "Tryin to kick the habit huh?" Budley asks. The man replies, "Somethin like that. Gotta get my priorities back in check. Focus on the things that really matter. That damn KonCreep's a hell of a band aren't they?" He nods to the playlist on Budley's phone. "Yeah, they're killer. just got into them a month back." Budley answers. "You know, I'm something of a musician myself. Maybe you'll hear of me on the news someday." Jim Jimenez says as he sees himself out. He walks to the back of the building and passes an ominous form of graffiti. A woman lays unmoving and above her, written on concrete in red is a message that simply says "Genocide Reigns".

TLDR: Despite a decade of being out and having relationships, falling for guys always ends in emotional turmoil as guys often shy away from commitment, even when its a natural next step. They act serious, "seeking long term" but end up running after significant time and effort together. Therapy helps me, but the cycle of disappointment is exhausting and disheartening, however giving up isn't how I want to resolve this. How do you keep optimism? And why do guys say they want this but then run? Trying to navigate this recurring pattern without losing too much hope.
Longer (really sorry for the essay this is typed out as i'm dealing with the most recent one and it helps to get this out here in long format): Maintaining optimism is tough as hell. Despite being out for over a decade and having a fair share of both long and short term relationships, most seem to end painfully, leaving me emotionally wrecked. I've mastered generally being level headed and maybe even stoic for most life situations like in work, family, friends, etc, stemming from a background of being the "best little boy in the world" but nothing throws me into turmoil like falling for guys. It's a love-hate dynamic—I cherish immensely moments with a guy I care about, yet they also bring a same level of immense pain and it is incredibly difficult for me to pick the pieces up each time afterwards. Its the only time I feel as happy as I can get but also when I feel the worst after its done...
For background I tend to date within my 25-35 age range, guys with good career paths, seemingly kind, attractive in a compatible way, etc. In all of the broad brush stroke life things, we tend to align. I will say I know this age range is already tough; most of us are still navigating emotional maturity, which I understand... i've been/going through it myself.
I try to guard against falling for toxic or fuckboys but it's tricky - I can pick out the red flags pretty easily when it surfaces in the first few weeks (love bombing, negging, trauma i'm not equipped to handle, substance abuse, etc). But with alot of these guys, all seems like a green flag but then true intentions often surface after weeks or months of implicit commitment. While I dont mind the hookup or short term dating culture, I also dont feel like I run away from a possibility of serious if I think it is worth it or headed in a positive direction, and I'm willing to share that vulnerability, but so many otherwise green flag guys seem to get too scared to at least confront that possiblity. They say "seeking long term", appear ready for something more serious, and then bolt when they start to see it actually happening and a more emotional connection happening.
I know open communication is key, but if you know gay dating then you know most of the time as soon as you vocalize anything the other guy isn't ready for, they dont face it or try to discuss, most of the time they run- so I try to ride a fine line of communicating that I appreciate the person being in my life but being careful not to go too far...I'm also not talking first week of meeting someone, this is on a regular normal dating timing, a couple months to 6 months type of thing. And then when I communicate I want more at that stage, more common than not they jump ship and aren't even willing to give it a shot.
I would say a response I might expect is that I'm the common denominator in this, maybe that i'm "too much" or they can't handle me or dont see me as dating material which is also tough to confront and I do so with therapy and friends etc, but that type of stuff normally shakes out in the first few weeks of dating and that really hasn't ended up being a stated reason for why these guys leave.
Instead, these guys are with me for extended amounts of time, and doing stuff only couples do....Think like several weeks of spending nights and weekends with me or monthly trips together out of state and country or meeting all my friends, movie lists that we are gonna watch together, etc. AND THEN they end up running, ghosting, or acting like it was never that serious to begin with and getting back on the apps the day after, which is just cruel... Not kidding, these are all guys I'm spending weeks and months doing these things. I get it if it is a fast burn 1 week hookup but these are significant amounts of time especially in gay dating....
When they leave, these heartbreaks hit me harder than anything else, reverting me to a naturally emotional super low state despite my efforts to keep it level emotionally. I take breaks, and spend time with family and friends afterwards but its easy to get stuck in my head, and this pseudo almost dating just seems cyclical as opposed to one offs.
Just not understanding why these guys are willing to pretend like everything is so good, then wreck someone by running away or being too weak to move forward. Therapy helps, but the cycle of picking myself up after each disappointment is exhausting. These guys seem great on paper—gentle, fun, successful career wise, handsome, good sex—yet its all ended the same way. It's disheartening; there are no easy wins in gay dating, and it's wearing me down. Giving up isn't in my playbook because I know how happy it can make me when it does seem to be working, even though it feels like an uphill battle. I dont want to become cynical or to get to a point where I cant offer my vulnerability and love to someone who does merit it but this process makes it so hard to figure out.
Guys who have still managed to keep your optimism, how? And the guys who run, why? Not trying for a pity party genuinely trying to navigate this as it keeps happening.

Introduction

The British Shorthair is a popular breed of domestic cat known for its round face, dense coat, and sturdy build. With their charming personalities and striking appearance, it's no wonder that many cat lovers are interested in adding a British Shorthair to their family. For those looking to purchase a British Shorthair, there are several factors to consider, including where to find one for sale, what to look for in a reputable breeder, and how to ensure the health and well-being of the new feline companion.

Understanding the British Shorthair Breed

The British Shorthair is a breed with a long and storied history, dating back to the early days of cat breeding in Britain. Known for their plush coat and distinctive round face, these cats are often described as having a teddy bear-like appearance. They are typically medium to large in size, with a muscular build and a calm, laid-back demeanor. British Shorthairs come in a variety of colors and patterns, including blue, black, cream, and tabby.
When looking for a British Shorthair for sale, it's important to be aware of the breed's characteristics and temperament. These cats are known for being affectionate and loyal companions, but they can also be independent and reserved at times. They are generally good with children and other pets, making them an excellent choice for families. However, they do require regular grooming to keep their coat in top condition.

Where to Find British Shorthairs for Sale

There are several options available for those looking to purchase a British Shorthair. One common avenue is through reputable breeders who specialize in the breed. It's essential to do thorough research when choosing a breeder to ensure that they adhere to ethical breeding practices and prioritize the health and well-being of their cats. Reputable breeders will provide documentation of the cat's pedigree, health records, and any necessary vaccinations.
Another option for finding a British Shorthair for sale is through rescue organizations or shelters. While purebred British Shorthairs may be less common in these settings, there are often mixed-breed cats with similar characteristics available for adoption. Adopting from a shelter not only gives a cat in need a loving home but also helps reduce the number of homeless pets in shelters.

What to Look for in a Reputable Breeder

When choosing a breeder to purchase a British Shorthair from, there are several key factors to consider. A reputable breeder will be transparent about their breeding practices and provide a clean and safe environment for their cats. They will also be knowledgeable about the breed and able to answer any questions you may have about caring for your new pet.
It's essential to visit the breeder in person before making a purchase to see the conditions in which the cats are raised. Look for signs of good health, such as bright eyes, clean ears, and a shiny coat. Ask to see the cat's parents if possible to get an idea of what the kitten may look like as it grows older. Additionally, make sure to ask about any health guarantees or warranties that the breeder offers.

Caring for Your British Shorthair

Once you've found the perfect British Shorthair for sale and brought them home, it's essential to provide them with proper care and attention. These cats thrive on routine and consistency, so be sure to establish a regular feeding schedule and provide plenty of opportunities for play and exercise. Regular grooming is also important to keep their coat healthy and free of mats.
In terms of healthcare, British Shorthairs are generally healthy cats but may be prone to certain genetic conditions, such as hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (a heart condition) or polycystic kidney disease. Regular veterinary check-ups are essential to catch any potential health issues early on. Additionally, make sure to provide your cat with a balanced diet and plenty of fresh water to keep them healthy and happy.

Conclusion

In conclusion, purchasing a British Shorthair can be a rewarding experience for cat lovers looking for a loyal and affectionate companion. By understanding the breed's characteristics, finding a reputable breeder or adoption organization, and providing proper care and attention, you can ensure that your new British Shorthair has a happy and healthy life with you. Whether you choose to adopt from a shelter or purchase from a breeder, welcoming a British Shorthair into your home is sure to bring joy and companionship for years to come.

British Shorthairs for Sale

British Shorthairs for Sale

British Shorthairs for Sale

British Shorthairs for Sale

British Shorthairs for Sale

This is a question I've been asking myself lately and I'm curious what others think of it, but it's mostly just a rant.
I've recently come to realize that, particularly in breakups, I've subconsciously viewed the patterns of avoidantly attached people as stronger and patterns of anxious attachers as, well, less so. I say this having played both roles. My childhood gifted me with a disorganized attachment style. Over the years, particularly through my most recent breakup, I've noticed that I am approaching a more secure attachment style - which feels absolutely incredible to say - but I used to be a mess in both directions. I felt so much shame at my inability to control my anxious behaviors. I felt weak for not being able to stop myself reaching out when I knew I should keep my distance. I felt weak for engaging in protest behaviors. I felt weak for constantly fixating on and obsessing over my partner. I felt weak for staying with someone who did not deserve my love and commitment. By the same token, I felt shame for engaging in avoidant behavior - running away from relationships, cutting partners out of my life, choosing no contact in situations where it really wasn't fair of me, dumping someone if they showed any interest in merging our lives - however, I felt powerful. It was kind of a relief to know I didn't need this person and to feel safe in keeping them at arms length. I felt strong for immediately getting over someone, no grief necessary.
Both styles made me feel gross about myself, but I felt so much safer and stronger when I was engaging in avoidant behavior. I also viewed others as stronger when they would do the same, and I felt such cringe toward myself and others who behaved anxiously. The truth is that neither is wrong or better or worse. They are both the products of traumatic childhoods and dysfunctional relationships with caregivers, often of abuse. It's not anyone's fault for suffering from an insecure attachment style (although it is our responsibility to heal from it so as not to hurt ourselves or others, but that's not the focus of this post). Why, though, are avoidants perceived as stronger than anxious people? Shouldn't it be seen as a sign of courage and immense strength to love fully, to approach relationships with open arms and open hearts? Yes, the behaviors are unhealthy, but my god does it take bravery to love loudly in the face of fear, especially loving someone who can't open their hearts in the same way. Why do we - I - subconsciously view coldness and aloofness as strong, when really it should just be viewed as very sad? It's so sad to not be able to feel safe opening your heart to someone, to not allow yourself to be fully seen and loved by another person. Love (not just romantic) is the point of life! To not be able to be vulnerable with others is isolating and keeps us small and stunted. Avoidance certainly choked my growth and made my heart feel numb. My anxiety was excruciating and made me feel pretty disgusting, but it gave me the space to grow and see my wounds. It forced me to dive headfirst into healing. My heart feels huge and brave now.
So, why did I always find myself wishing to be avoidant rather than anxious? Why did I see that as the position of power? I feel like I'm not the only one. It's so much better to grieve and to honor the love we experienced than it is to just be like "lol whatever next in line."
Tl;dr I've observed that wrt insecure attachment, people (myself included) tend to pray to be avoidant/not give a shit during breakups and to perceive anxious attachment during breakups as weak, but it should kind of be the other way around.

Out there - Patreon (for all those curious or wanting to support :))
At the Beginning
Adventure Arc - Arc 2
Wilderness Arc - Arc 3
Academy Arc - Arc 4
Nobility Arc - Arc 5
Previously on Leveling up the World...
Reality shifted, transforming into an endless forest of purple glowing vines among green and yellow trees. Minuscule creatures of all shapes and sizes flew about. To the untrained eye they seemed charming, even beautiful, yet they were all parasites taking advantage of the richness of magic threads for sustenance. They weren’t the problem, though. Other entities were also present in force—aether golems.
Summoning a clay cylinder, Dallion unleashed a ray of destruction, shattering hundreds of the crimson-purple constructs like glass. The spell was followed by a spark infused spiral attack directly below.
​
Realm section damaged!
Overall completion 78%
​
Large chunks of land erupted at the impact, transforming into clouds of dirt high up in the air. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be any more golems hidden in the soil.
“Seventy-eight,” Dallion said as he gently floated to the ground. “Mages really don’t maintain anything, do they?”
The life of academia is filled with its own challenges, dear boy, Adzorg protested, practically admitting the statement. That’s a domain ruler’s job.
“I suppose it is.”
Dallion looked at his feet. They were there, along with his shoes and the lower part of his trousers. Nothing seemed to be wrong with them, yet this was only a fake projection. In the real world, they no longer existed.
There’s no reason to be alarmed. With your magic and body levels, you should be able to have them restored in a matter of months. Until then, you’ll just have to use aether stand-ins, or even a good illusion, if you prefer.
Dallion considered it. If there was someone who’d know, that would be Adzorg. The mage had his hands severed not too long ago. Looking at him now, no one would be able to guess that they had been gradually restored over the course of months.
​
REALM INVASION
​
Red rectangles filled the sky.
“Seems like they’ve taken me seriously.” Dallion stood up. His real-life troubles would have to wait.
Knowing Alien, he probably only modified the golems to treat you as an intruder. The area guardian must have stepped in.
“Doesn’t the emperor control this? Or an overseer?”
The Academy has always been sort of different, dear boy, Adzorg explained. While we serve the emperor, we’re technically autonomous.
“Like the Order.”
To a certain degree. Think of this realm as isolated. That’s why moving it around isn’t as easy as moving everything else. Due to the magic concentration and frequent experiments, the area has become… more susceptible to other worlds. That’s why I did my experiments here—it’s far easier to break through the protective barrier here than elsewhere. Well, except the fallen south, possibly. The old mage added with a brief laugh. To prevent anything spilling out into the rest of Tamin’s domain, the Academy is isolated from everything else.
“That shouldn’t stop him from coming here in case he wants to,” Dallion said.
Not in the least. That doesn’t make it desirable, though.
That was a strange statement. There were too many benefits for the emperor not to get involved. Even if he were afraid that someone might do what he had done to the archbishop. Either way, the faster Dallion could take control of the domain, the better. He knew he couldn’t keep it, but that wouldn’t prevent him from transporting a few pieces to his own territory. As for what was left, he’d make sure that no one could take advantage of it in the future.
Aqui, he said within his personal realm.
The orange-scaled dragon emerged within seconds. Ten times larger than in the real world, she was doing her best to present herself larger than she actually was. Even so, her present level was clearly visible should anyone look at her white rectangle.
“Grasped the concept of eating?” Dallion looked at her.
The large dragon snarled.
“Can you do it from within the realm?”
The anger changed into bewilderment.
“No one can consume magic from within a realm,” she said defensively. Dallion knew for a fact that wasn’t the case. He himself had done so many times and he wasn’t the only one.
“What about outside? How fast can you drain the area of magic?”
“Why?” She lowered her head, bringing it to Dallion’s level.
“I’m going to do something and when I do, we’ll have to get out of here quickly.”
The dragon snorted right at Dallion.
“It would be nice if you can reach level ten at least.”
Pride filled the dragon’s body, as blue blobs the size of houses emerged within her. There was no way that she would only level up to such a low level. Of course, Dallion’s subtle use of music skills had also helped in the making of the decision.
Before anyone could say anything more, a cluster of aether cones flew straight at him. Free of the confines of reality, the armadil shield teleported between him and the projectiles, growing three times its size.
Unable to counter the force, Gem was pushed back dozens of feet to the point it reached Dallion himself. Extending one hand, the otherworlder easily countered the attack.
Aquilequia, on her part, had used her natural speed to move away before the cones even got close.
“Best leave.” He said, glancing at her new location. “After I’m done, I’ll need you to be at least as strong as this.”
The dragon didn’t respond, yet didn’t leave the realm, either. Curious as every low-level companion, she moved a safe distance away, eager to see exactly what was referred to. Meanwhile, Dallion sprang into action. With speed surpassing that of Aquilequia, he dashed around the shield, heading straight for the source of the aether cones. To little surprise, they were being released from five spell circles, at huge intensity. More curious was the entity that had cast them.
​
LEARNING HALL GUARDIAN
Species: COPYETTE
Class: SHADOW
Health: 78%
Traits:
- BODY 45
- MIND 60
- REACTION 55
- PERCEPTION 50
- MAGIC 100
Skills:
- ATTACK
- GUARD
- ACROBATICS
- SCHOLAR
- CARVING
- MUSIC
- SPELLCRAFT
Weakness: NONE
​
“Never thought you’d be a copyette,” Dallion said as he performed a series of slashes targeting vital points on the guardian.
Each of them hit, yet instead of red rectangles, the form transformed into cyan sludge that splashed onto the ground.
“Lucky coincidence?” Dallion split into instances, using his music skills to add doubt and weight into his words. “Or were you working for the Order all this time?”
“Nice to see you too, apprentice.” A new figure formed. It was very different from the first, taking on the form of Alien. Spells circles formed in different spots hundreds of feet from Dallion, each releasing anything from lightning to aether shards.
Despite the overwhelming amount, not a single one of Dallion’s instances got harmed. Performing a three-sixty line attack with his harpsisword, he sliced through the new appearance of the guardian, breaking the spell circles in the process.
Don’t be overconfident, Giaccia said. Experience trumps level every time.
There was no way Dallion could disagree. There was a time when he, too, had defeated opponents many levels above him. While it was said that a ten-level difference was insurmountable, the guardian was a copyette with a very high magic trait.
“You can always surrender,” Dallion said, looking in all directions with his instances.
“It’s just like you to offer.” Two forms of the guardian appeared in different locations, now taking on the forms of children in Dallion’s class. “And no, I’m not working for Simon, even if he put me here.”
Dallion dashed, appearing next to one of his former classmates, slicing it to bits using a multi attack.
“Wrong one.” The other form laughed.
Dallion was fully aware that both of them were wrong. His real goal was to try and figure out where the rest of the guardian was hiding. As a copyette, he could create dozens of copies, all an insignificant part of his overall body. Destroying each individual one wouldn’t do anything; harming the one considered the main one might.
He’s stalling for time, Giaccia said.
“Your music attacks are rather good.” Two more copyette forms emerged. “Sadly, it doesn’t depend on me. You’ll have to deal with the main guardian for that. I’m just here to obtain information. Being a hunter, you should know that.”
“It’s been a while since I was a hunter,” Dallion replied. “I’m not an apprentice, either.”
“That’s true. You made full mage, didn’t you? Also, I heard that you were an archduke shortly before rebelling. Quite the achievement.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m just like my grandfather.” Dallion let it slip.
“Your grandfather?” Confusion emanated from the copyette. “I was about to say that you’re like Jeremy. A lot more straightforward, to be sure, but the drive is there along with the skill.”
Going by large areas, there had to be roughly ten guardians responsible for the realm. Defeating them would effectively make Dallion the new owner. A faster and more challenging way, though, was taking on the main guardian.
No time to hesitate, the harpsisword Guardian reminded Dallion.
It would be a lie to say that Dallion wasn’t. Even with all the copyette’s tricks, he had enough raw power to defeat the guardian, destroying a large part of the realm in the process. It was no accident that of all the key guardians, this one had been sent to reveal his skills. Dallion had spent a significant part of his life in the Learning Hall. While not particularly long in terms of time, it had marked a significant change in Dallion’s life. Before that he was little more than a skill game piece—barely defeating the Star, he was on the run from Countess Priscord, and in debt to the void. His life at the learning hall of the Academy had elevated him to the point that the emperor, the Order, and even the Moons themselves had taken notice.
“Yes.” Dallion sighed. “There’s no time for hesitation.”
Summoning his aura sword, he slashed the air, casting a flight spell that propelled him up like a rocket. Half a mile above the ground, he stopped.
“Sorry, Learning Hall,” he said, slashing the air in what appeared to be a multi attack. Magic symbols and connections were drawn, yet instead of casting multiple five-circle spells, Dallion cast one complex spell chain.
A vortex of spell circles emerged beneath him, shooting bolts of magic draining lightning.
​
Realm section damaged!
Overall completion 77%
​
Realm section damaged!
Overall completion 76%
​
Red rectangles popped up as the ground became covered in craters. Aether projectiles shot up to him in response, most of them blocked by the aether shield before reaching Dallion himself.
“Thanks, but no need,” Dallion unsummoned the shield, unwilling to have it be accidentally affected by his magic draining spell.
​
CRITICAL STRIKE
Dealt damage is increased by 200%
​
A few purple rectangles appeared among the mass of red. At the current rate, the Learning Hall guardian would be defeated in a matter of seconds. Hopefully, there would be enough left for Dallion to restore afterwards. Were this to be the Hall’s realm, there would be no concern on the matter—defeating a guardian merely improved it. In this case, the realm was the Academy, though, not the Learning Hall itself.
Suddenly, a sun gold colossus emerged less than a few hundred feet away. A massive hand reached out and grabbed the vortex from beneath Dallion. Sparks of lightning enveloped the fingers, yet had no effect whatsoever.
A second hand reached for Dallion himself, but he had already darted further back, safely avoiding the attack.
So, that’s the Academy? Dallion looked at the glittering mountain of gold. When it came to the colossus, he shared many of the same characteristics. The one major difference was the colossus’ “attire.” Not the usual Roman-Greek design that Dallion had seen before, the design followed twenty century Earth norms.
“It’s been ages since a domain ruling mage has ventured in this realm,” the colossus said in a booming voice. “You’re the second so far.”
“What happened to the first?” Dallion concentrated. Not a single domain marker appeared anywhere along the guardian’s body.
“He created this area and made sure that no other mage will be able to take it.”

https://preview.redd.it/6lruijjpbf0d1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46e36e0e704aa99a0a8cd31ab4f74efeeb3d1cee
Through our after-school programs, we play a pivotal role in supporting children's mental well-being by seamlessly blending disguised learning and Social and Emotional Learning (SEL).
At Right At School, our unwavering dedication to the well-being of our children drives us forward. We recognize that today's children encounter an array of challenges that can significantly impact their mental health. Through our after-school programs, we play a pivotal role in supporting children's mental well-being by seamlessly blending disguised learning and Social and Emotional Learning(SEL).
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In an educational landscape increasingly focused on academic achievements, after-school programs provide a refreshing change of pace. they after a haven where children can learn, explore, and grow without the pressures of formal classroom. This freedom form academic rigidity is essential of children's mental health as it allows them to rediscover the joy learning and develop a thirst for knowledge driven by their own curiosity .
In addition, these programs extend the school day in the best possible way. They create a balanced routine that combines academic enrichment with activities that nurture the heart and soul. Children engage in disguised learning activities that stimulate their minds while also fostering creativity, social skills, and emotional intelligence. This holistic approach to education is essential of cultivating well-rounded individuals who are better equipped to face the complexities of life.
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A cornerstone of our after-school programs is disguised learning. We firmly believe children thrive when immersed in enjoyable, educational activities that ignite their curiosity. Disguised learning takes the form of games, hands-on projects, and interactive challenges that allow children to acquire knowledge and skills without even realizing they are learning.
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Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)
Our after-school programs place a robust emphasis on Social and Emotional Learning (SEL). We firmly believe that emotional intelligence is at the core of strong mental well-being. SEL equips children with vital skills such as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and relationship-building.
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At Right At School, our commitment to supporting children’s mental health is a responsibility we take very seriously. Our after-school programs are meticulously designed to create a nurturing environment where children can thrive emotionally, intellectually, and socially.
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Someone in a thread here mentioned Zybourne Clock—that game pitch on the SomethingAwful Forums that was just a bunch of badly-drawn concept art and way-too-ambitious, unconnected plot beats—and it gave me a brain blast thinking about all the little forum start-ups I've seen in my time, posted by excited kids who love drawing their OCs and imagining cool fight scenes, but don't actually know anything about game design or roadmapping a project.
I'm a big fan of the animatostreamer Khonjin, and one of his big, lifelong projects is the realization of a story called "Supermental," first seen in a now-deleted forum thread (I forget the name of the site, was one of those small-batch Jcink forums) where the idea was first pitched as a game that would be enormous in scope, an epic story, and combine "eight genres of gameplay in one game, including rhythm, RPG, fighting game mechanics, platforming, and more." That the thread was so old when I discovered it and everyone in it had likely been kids when it had been made told me that this incarnation of the game would likely never exist in any form, and the sheer scope and size of the game projected with nothing to show for it but pages of character desisgns and a single GIF of a platforming segment made in Game Maker was one of those really incredible high water marks left by the boundless ambition of youth.
At the time, Khonjin's primary work of note, the animated web series Khonjin House had concluded with a severe escalation in stakes and a direct lead-in to a new animated web series called Supermental, along with an accompanying ARG, so everyone who was invested was scrambling for clues across his entire history on the internet. We were also trying to figure out what Supermental was going to be about. Not even the the original game dev thread had any answers as to what the plot actually was. The discovery that the projected main protagonist of that old game idea, Jack, was the prototype for Jack Pent, the main antagonist of Khonjin House, definitely seemed to indicate some kind of relevancy, though.
Khonjin House had been full of little, unexplained names and references that were definitely going to be important to Supermental, and the fan speculation leading up to the little bits of reveal we got in the series proper was some of my personal favorite fandom activity I've ever participated in. Finding out who Smack was—a character who was often mentioned by name in the series but never seen—and then finding out that he and Pent hate each others' guts and have been trying to kill each other, AND THEN finding out Supermental was going to be prequel and that they used to be best friends was an incredible wave to be on.
And then we got the announcement: the Supermental animated series on YouTube was just to get the fans hyped up for the Kickstarter for the Supermental game, revived after all these years!
Unfortunately, it was too good to be true. The Kickstarter had an intriguing animated trailer, but no gameplay. Not even a mention of what gameplay would be like. We did get an update later on, showing it would be a SRB2-like 3D platformer with 2D sprite characters, but by then, the momentum had been lost. I donated to the Kickstarter, as did several fans, but we never reached funding and the project was canned.
All that was left was the ARG, which was still ongoing and was supposed to reveal what Supermental was actually about once it was solved. Unfortunately, the last shot in the foot for the whole thing came when Khonjin lost patience with everyone for taking too long to solve the clues and just lore-dumped the whole thing.
The plot of the game ended up being a super personal extended metaphor for gender dysphoria and transitioning, inspired by the struggles of a close trans friend of Khonjin's who had died. It felt like a story he had really wanted to get out into the world at all costs, for many, many years by then, ultimately resigning to a bitter, 2 a.m. paragraphs-long lore dump in a Discord channel. The mystery was over. I still have no idea how that would have translated to a platformer game, but hey—Super Paper Mario did alright, so who knows.
I still think about that a lot. Supermental for me is the reigning king of that sort of incredibly ambitious creative project you undertake with your friends when you're young, firing off aimlessly in any direction, struggling to be born, picking up more meaning and consuming other ideas as you grow alongside it. It's been a minute since I checked in on the status of anything related to it, and since Khonjin—to my knowledge—has uploaded or said anything pertaining to it, but I would like to see it realized in some form one day.
So, what are some of your favorite stories of stillborn projects? This isn't about Scalebound or shit like that. I want stories of game projects you discovered in forums when you were in high school that had tons character art but no one on the team who knew how to program. Kickstarters you were interested in but knew had no chance in Hell of clearing even a fourth of their funding goal because they didn't have a single screenshot of in-engine visuals on the page. Even other well-known failure stories are welcome here; I'm interested in learning about more infamous failures like Zybourne Clock as well, things y'all might no about, but that escaped my radar. Doesn't have to be games either; movies, animations, 'zines, comics... anything.

The global brain implants market is expected to witness substantial growth, with a projected compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 9%, reaching a valuation exceeding USD 4.5 billion in 2020. The escalating prevalence of conditions such as Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease worldwide stands out as a primary driver propelling market expansion. Moreover, the growing awareness surrounding the benefits of brain implants is poised to further bolster market growth. Additionally, the introduction of advanced technologies by industry leaders such as Medtronic and Neurowave is anticipated to significantly contribute to market advancement throughout the forecast period.
To know more about this study, request a free sample report @ https://www.researchcorridor.com/request-sample/?id=2129
Market Trends:
Miniaturization and Wireless Technology: There's a growing trend towards miniaturization and the development of wireless brain implants, allowing for less invasive procedures and enhanced patient comfort. Wireless connectivity enables real-time data transmission and remote monitoring, facilitating more efficient diagnosis and treatment.
Advancements in Neurostimulation: Neurostimulation techniques, including deep brain stimulation (DBS), spinal cord stimulation (SCS), and vagus nerve stimulation (VNS), continue to evolve with improved electrode designs, programming algorithms, and targeting precision. These advancements enhance the efficacy and customization of neurostimulation therapies for various neurological disorders.
Closed-Loop Systems: Closed-loop or adaptive neurostimulation systems, which adjust stimulation parameters in response to neural activity, are gaining traction for their potential to optimize therapeutic outcomes while minimizing side effects. These systems offer personalized treatment approaches tailored to individual patient needs and disease progression.
Expanding Applications Beyond Movement Disorders: While historically used primarily for movement disorders such as Parkinson's disease and essential tremor, brain implants are increasingly being explored for a wider range of neurological and psychiatric conditions. These include epilepsy, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), chronic pain, and Alzheimer's disease, expanding the market's scope and potential.
Integration of Artificial Intelligence (AI) and Machine Learning: The integration of AI and machine learning algorithms into brain implants enables advanced data analysis, pattern recognition, and predictive modeling. AI-powered implants can adapt stimulation parameters in real-time based on patient-specific responses and evolving disease dynamics, optimizing treatment efficacy and patient outcomes.
Market Opportunities:
The brain implants market presents several opportunities for growth and innovation. With advancements in technology and expanding clinical indications, there is a significant opportunity to address unmet medical needs and improve patient outcomes across a wide range of neurological and psychiatric conditions. Opportunities exist for the development of next-generation brain implants with enhanced functionality, miniaturization, and wireless connectivity, enabling less invasive procedures and improved patient comfort. Moreover, the integration of artificial intelligence and machine learning algorithms presents opportunities to personalize treatment approaches and optimize therapeutic outcomes based on individual patient responses. Additionally, the expanding applications of brain implants beyond movement disorders, including epilepsy, depression, chronic pain, and Alzheimer's disease, offer avenues for market expansion and diversification.
According to the recent report published by RC Market Analytics, the Global Brain Implants Market is expected to provide sustainable growth opportunities during the forecast period from 2024 to 2030. This latest industry research study analyzes the brain implants market by various product segments, applications, regions and countries while assessing regional performances of numerous leading market participants. The report offers a holistic view of the brain implants industry encompassing numerous stakeholders including raw material suppliers, providers, distributors, consumers and government agencies, among others. Furthermore, the report includes detailed quantitative and qualitative analysis of the global market considering market history, product development, regional dynamics, competitive landscape, and key success factors (KSFs) in the industry.
Browse the Full Report Discretion @ https://www.researchcorridor.com/brain-implants-market/
Geographically, the brain implants market report comprises dedicated sections centering on the regional market revenue and trends. The brain implants market has been segmented on the basis of geographic regions into North America, Europe, Asia Pacific, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa. Brain implants market estimates have also been provided for the historical years 2020 to 2023 along with forecast for the period from 2024 - 2030.The report includes a deep-dive analysis of key countries including the U.S., Canada, the U.K., Germany, France, Italy, China, Japan, India, Australia, Mexico, Brazil and South Africa, among others. Thereby, the report identifies unique growth opportunities across the world based on trends occurring in various developed and developing economies.
The Brain Implants Market Segmentation:
By Type:

• Deep Brain Stimulator
• Spinal Cord Stimulator
• Vagus Nerve Stimulator

By Application:

• Chronic Pain
• Epilepsy
• Parkinson’s Disease
• Depression
• Essential Tremor
• Alzheimer’s Disease

By End-User:

• Hospitals
• Clinical Trials Centers
• Others

By Region:

• North America
• Europe
• Asia Pacific
• Latin America
• Middle East & Africa

Key players in the global brain implants market include Medtronic, Boston Scientific Corporation, Nuvectra Corporation, St. Jude Medical (Abbott), NeuroPace, Inc., and Nevro Corporation. These companies are actively pursuing market opportunities through various strategies such as expansion initiatives, new investments, service innovations, and collaborative ventures. Furthermore, players are seeking to strengthen their market position through geographical expansion and strategic acquisitions, aiming to leverage combined synergies for a competitive edge.
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Key Questions Answered by Brain Implants Market Report:

• Product popularity and adoption based on various country-level dynamics
• Regional presence and product development for leading market participants
• Market forecasts and trend analysis based on ongoing investments and economic growth in key countries
• Competitive landscape based on revenue, product offerings, years of presence, number of employees and market concentration, among others
• Various industry models such as SWOT analysis, Pestle Analysis, Porter’s Five Force model, Value Chain Analysis pertaining to Brain Implants market
• Analysis of the key factors driving and restraining the growth of the global, regional and country-level markets from 2020-2030

About Us:RC Market Analytics is a global market research firm. Our insightful analysis is focused on developed and emerging markets. We identify trends and forecast markets with a view to aid businesses identify market opportunities to optimize strategies. Our expert’s team of analysts’ provides enterprises with strategic insights. RC Market Analytics works to help enterprises grow through strategic insights and actionable solutions. Feel free to contact us for any report customization at sales@researchcorridor.com.
Media Contact:
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Hi, I'm new to this subreddit, I have DKC2 and 3 physical SNES cartridges (I use to have DKC1 when growing up and yes I 101% it on NSO recently) DKC 2 is my favorite tho. Crocodile Isle is an amazing location and has very different vibes compared to Donkey Kong Island. The atmosphere is amazing and the music is incredible (my favorite themes from this game is Krokodile Kacophony and Krook March). I REALLY enjoy the challenge this game has, I seen people hey really mad, but honestly I never really yelled or felt that angery, I guess I have alot of patience, and I also just have really fun. The levels are fun and creative. I think it has the best bosses in the og trilogy, all of them are fun and challenging. I love getting all the collectables and getting to play the harder levels in the lost world as I go. Diddy Kong is my favorite Kong, Dixie is a close second. It has my favorite version of K. Rool, I seen a lot of people prefer his original design in DKC1 but I think his design in 2 is just as amazing, and makes him fittingly more threatening looking, he's also alot more threatening in this game, he kidnapped Donkey Kong, and you see at the end that he's abusing him as DK is tied up. His final boss is amazing, I actually prefer Krocodile Kacophony over Gang-Plank Galleon, his attacks are really fun to avoid while still having a set pattern (alot more challenging, complex and fun than his fight in DKC1 imo), and the way DK break free at the end to finish him off is just so good, the secret final boss is really good too (not as good as the the first final boss tho imo) where he comes back and you only get to attack him at the end. I also really love th graphics for these games, I think DKC2 did them better tho, I love the pre-rendered 3D models compressed to 2d sprites and the backgrounds and environments so much. What do you guys think of this game? Honestly it's tied with my other favorite 2D platformer, Yoshi's Island for the SNES. :)

- May 13, 2024

The Good:

• BuzzFeed's flagship brand continues to be the leading player in digital media with high time spent compared to other digital and legacy properties.
• The company is leaning into AI to extend its leadership position and build the defining media company for the AI era.
• BuzzFeed has stabilized its business by selling Complex, strengthening its balance sheet with more cash and less debt.
• The majority of BuzzFeed's users now come directly to its owned and operated sites and apps, indicating a shift away from platform-dependent distribution.
• Direct traffic referrals are now the largest source of traffic for BuzzFeed, with 90% of audience time spent on owned and operated properties.
• BuzzFeed has seen growth in direct traffic and deeper engagement among its most loyal users.
• The company has rolled out several new AI-powered features and formats that have driven record levels of engagement.
• Programmatic advertising revenues across BuzzFeed and HuffPost grew year-over-year for the third consecutive quarter.
• BuzzFeed's Commerce business has strong partnerships with major retailers and has driven significant revenues for the company.
• The company is focused on leveraging first-party data and engaged audience to attract dollars from Retail Media Networks.
• The restructuring program announced in February is expected to yield approximately $23 million in annualized compensation cost savings.
• BuzzFeed paid down a significant portion of its outstanding debt and increased its cash balance.

The Bad:

• Overall revenues for Q1 2024 declined 18% year-over-year to $44.8 million.
• Advertising revenues declined 22% year-over-year, driven by ongoing pressure on the direct sales channel and lower monetization on third-party platforms.
• Deposit revenues declined 19% year-over-year due to nonrecurring custom content campaigns.
• Commerce and other revenues declined 9% year-over-year due to less promotional spend by retailers and lower audience traffic.
• BuzzFeed's Q1 adjusted EBITDA was a loss of $11.3 million.
• U.S. time spent on BuzzFeed's properties declined 16% year-over-year due to ongoing declines in referral traffic from third-party platforms.
• There are ongoing revenue pressures and lower third-party platform monetization that continue to impact overall revenue growth.

The Ugly:

• None.

Earnings Breakdown:

Financial Metrics:

• Overall revenues for Q1 2024 declined 18% year-over-year to $44.8 million.
• Advertising revenues declined 22% year-over-year to $21.4 million.
• Programmatic advertising revenues across BuzzFeed and HuffPost grew year-over-year for the third consecutive quarter.
• Deposit revenues declined 19% year-over-year to $13.1 million.
• Commerce and other revenues declined 9% year-over-year to $10.2 million.
• BuzzFeed's Q1 adjusted EBITDA was a loss of $11.3 million.
• BuzzFeed paid down a significant portion of its outstanding debt and increased its cash balance.

Product Metrics:

• BuzzFeed's flagship brand continues to be the leading player in digital media with high time spent compared to other digital and legacy properties.
• The majority of BuzzFeed's users now come directly to its owned and operated sites and apps.
• Direct traffic referrals are now the largest source of traffic for BuzzFeed, with 90% of audience time spent on owned and operated properties.
• Direct traffic across BuzzFeed web and app properties grew 3% versus Q4.
• BuzzFeed has rolled out several new AI-powered features and formats that have driven record levels of engagement.
• Deeper engagement among BuzzFeed's most loyal audience, with the number of pages per web visitor growing for 4 consecutive months.
• Programmatic advertising revenues across BuzzFeed and HuffPost grew year-over-year for the third consecutive quarter.
• BuzzFeed's Commerce business has strong partnerships with major retailers and has driven significant revenues for the company.
• The company is focused on leveraging first-party data and engaged audience to attract dollars from Retail Media Networks.

Source: Decode Investing AI Assistant

For years I thought I was 5'10" but I actually got my height measured at the gym yesterday and I'm actually only 5'9". Also, my frame is stought so I appear even shorter than I am. I only wear a 29" length pants which is short for my height which is short for my height and I'm just broad overall. Learning this killed my confidence even more. 5'9" is on the lower end of average and these days, average is just the same as being below average. When I was born I was predicted to grow to be 6'2" but obviously I grew to be only well below that. If only that prediction came true. I also tried to grow my hair for a week to see how advanced the balding is. I usually shave my head bald but I thought maybe the male pattern baldness hadn't progressed since I was 24 when I started shaving my head. At that time, my hair had receded considerably but there was still enough for a simple short haircut. My hairline is literally receded to the top of my head. The hairline on my temples is also completely gone. Upon noticing this, I shaved my head bald again as I normally do. I know I sound mellow dramatic about this but these factors in my appearance do legit bother me and reduce my confidence. At least as far as I know, young dudes (I'm 27) generally a taller more slender athletic frame is preferred in the dating market AND a full head hair regardless of how well you pull off the bald look. It no wonder my dating life is non existent regardless of when I try or not. I look like a literal garden gnome. But I will say this. Seeing other young men in public that fit the same description as me with a partner does give me hope but deep down, I know me, as an individual, will never be good enough to be in a relationship again. I am invisible on the dating market.

I find myself deeply longing for a sincere and profound connection. Hopefully, you are looking for the same?
I think most of us are afraid in some sense to love and to be completely vulnerable yet despite the risk we long for it.
The capacity to love, sometimes even in the face of pain, is one of the most beautiful aspects of being human. It's a strength, and not always a weakness.
At my core, I'm a person of love, of care, of deep unyielding affection for those I hold dear.
Through the journey of healing and self-discovery, I've realized that I have much love to share. Love that is not bitter, but kind; not resentful, but forgiving; not closed, but open and willing to grow alongside someone special.
I'm sincere in my attempt to forge a connection and hope you are too, I'd try to share things about me that might give you idea of the person I am.
Essence of Me:
I am a mix of old-school romance and modern sensibility, holding onto the ideals of loyalty and sincerity. I think handwritten notes, surprise dates, and the belief that small gestures make a big difference. I am someone who thrives on deep connections and meaningful interactions.
I’m someone who believes in the power of midnight conversations, in the healing balm of shared laughter, and in the silent solidarity of presence.
I believe in the power of empathy and the importance of being there for those who matter, even if it's a call at 3 AM. I value integrity, kindness, and a good/weird sense of humor. I find beauty in the mundane, the kind of person who finds joy in the little things and believes in taking the time to truly understand and appreciate others.
Physical Attributes:

• Height: 5'11" (181cm)
• Build: Slim
• Hair: Deep black, kept in check
• Eyes: Light, sometimes dark brown :3
• Beard: Short, fashionable, and pristinely groomed
• Complexion: FaiTanned

Interests:
I find solace in music that echoes my moods, books that transport me to other worlds, and quiet moments in nature that ground me. I cherish activities that nurture growth, whether they're intellectual debates, serene walks, or shared laughs over coffee. I'm drawn to the arts as much as to the simple pleasure of a sunset.. I also have a keen interest in cooking and experimenting with new recipes, finding the act of creating something delicious for others as a form of expression and care.
To sum up some typical interests include: Philosophy, nature, languages, books, reading, writing, video games, sports, art, poetry, travelling etc
What I Am Looking For:
I'm in search of someone who values open and honest communication as much as I do. Someone who understands that relationships are about growth, learning, and supporting each other through life's myriad challenges and joys. I am looking for someone who is eager to prioritize getting to know each other, willing to open their heart, and ready to build something meaningful together.
Expectations:

• Mutual respect and understanding
• Openness and honesty in communication
• A shared desire to prioritize our relationship and growth
• An interest in exploring life's depths and joys together

The Quest for You:
What am I seeking? Not a perfect person, but a real one. Someone whose heart speaks the language of kindness, whose spirit dances to the tune of sincerity. I dream of a connection where words are just the beginning, where vulnerability is not a weakness but our strongest bond. I yearn for a love that’s both a safe harbor and a grand adventure, a partnership built on mutual respect, understanding, and the shared bravery of baring one’s soul.
I seek a fellow traveler in this journey of life, one who understands that while our pasts may shape us, they do not define us. Someone who stands at the intersection of hope and reality, ready to embark on a path not devoid of challenges but rich with the promise of true companionship.
Epilogue of Hope:
If my words have stirred something in your heart, if you too are navigating the vast oceans of life in search of a genuine connection, then perhaps we are two stars meant to align in the constellation of fate. I extend my hand, my heart, and my story to you – not in desperation, but with the quiet confidence of one who has faced the night and yearns for the dawn.
Laconic messages with just "hi", "what's up," "I have a question," and the likes will be most likely ignored. If I can beat my own laconism when introducing myself here, so can you.

The blockchain community is abuzz with excitement as a significant milestone is achieved on the testnet front: the number of unique wallet addresses has surged past the 1,000,000 mark. This remarkable achievement is a testament to the growing interest and participation in the testnet ecosystem, reflecting the vibrant and dynamic nature of the blockchain space.
The announcement, made by the project team, underscores the collective efforts and dedication of the community towards advancing blockchain technology. With each new wallet address representing an individual or entity actively engaging with the testnet, the milestone signifies a broadening adoption and utilization of blockchain solutions.
The journey to reaching this milestone has been nothing short of inspiring. From the early stages of development to the present, the project team has worked tirelessly to create a robust and inclusive testnet environment. Their commitment to innovation and excellence has laid the foundation for this momentous achievement, setting new benchmarks for scalability and accessibility in the blockchain realm.
The significance of surpassing 1,000,000 unique testnet wallet addresses extends beyond mere numbers. It reflects a growing confidence in the capabilities and potential of blockchain technology to revolutionize various industries and sectors. As more individuals and organizations join the testnet ecosystem, the collaborative spirit driving blockchain innovation continues to thrive.
The project team’s acknowledgment and gratitude towards the community highlight the symbiotic relationship between developers and users within the blockchain space. It is this mutual support and collaboration that fuel progress and propel the industry forward. The shared enthusiasm and passion for blockchain technology serve as the driving force behind achieving such remarkable milestones.
Looking ahead, the momentum generated by surpassing 1,000,000 unique testnet wallet addresses sets the stage for even greater accomplishments. As the community continues to grow and evolve, so too will the opportunities for experimentation, collaboration, and innovation on the testnet. The milestone serves as a springboard for further exploration and development, paving the way for groundbreaking advancements in blockchain technology.
In conclusion, the attainment of 1,000,000+ unique testnet wallet addresses represents a significant milestone in the journey of blockchain innovation. It reflects the unwavering commitment of the community to pushing the boundaries of what is possible with blockchain technology. As we celebrate this achievement, let us remain steadfast in our pursuit of advancing the capabilities and impact of blockchain solutions, shaping a more decentralized and inclusive future for all.

To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.

"In the beginning before there was light, when the universe was nothing but an darkness, there existed a celestial being known as Luna. Born from the primordial tree Yggdrasil that birthed the cosmos, Luna emerged as the embodiment of the Moon, being the deity who helped spread dreams. Long before mortals roamed the earth, Luna wandered the vast expanse of the heavens, weaving intricate patterns of light across the night sky. Yet, her existence held a deeper purpose beyond mere celestial spectacle. For Luna was tasked with a sacred duty – to safeguard the realm of dreams, where the subconscious minds of all beings wandered in the depths of slumber. In her ethereal palace, nestled amidst the moon's craters and bathed in the gentle glow of starlight, Luna held court over the dreamscape. With her radiant presence and serene countenance, she commanded the ebb and flow of dreams, ensuring that they unfolded harmoniously across the tapestry of night. But Luna's influence extended beyond the boundaries of the nocturnal realm, being also a dark deity of the night as well, serving the goddess Nyx. Though revered as a divine being, Luna was also feared for her power to unravel the deepest recesses of the mind. Many mortals and gods trembled at the thought of her piercing gaze, which held the mysteries of the cosmos within its depths. Yet, despite her formidable presence, Luna was not a deity devoid of compassion. Beneath her celestial guise lay a heart that ached for the troubled souls who wandered the labyrinth of dreams. With gentle hands, she guided lost spirits through the shadows of their subconscious, offering solace and sanctuary amidst the chaos of the night. Thus, Luna stood as a beacon of light in the darkness, a guardian of dreams whose luminous essence illuminated the path to inner peace and enlightenment. And as long as the moon graced the night sky, her watchful gaze would continue to guide the wayward souls who sought refuge in the realm of dreams. As an primeval entity who existed before creation, Luna's influence extends beyond the frontiers of the multiverse existing beyond all realms and dimensions possibly, transcending even the sphere of gods"

Hi everyone - I’d love some advice regarding my nanny situation.
The short version: I recently hired a nanny for my 6 month old, and overall we love her. She’s great with my little one’s care, generally open to our feedback, and just a nice person overall. She has experienced a lot of unimaginable trauma in her life, and I am in awe of her strength. That being said, every conversation we have - including instructions for the baby - somehow gets tied back to the trauma, her parents not loving her, or some other really deep and touchy subject. It’s to a point where it’s hard to have a conversation with her because she’ll talk over what is being said to just talk and talk through her past traumas. And she’ll just keep talking, even when I walk away because I need to work. I fully understand she’s got a lot on her mind, but I just don’t know how to give her the feedback of “it’s a lot”.
The long version: On the first day of the job, 4 hours in, she started crying entirely unprompted and telling me every deep trauma from childhood to now (she’s in her 40s and clearly very troubled by her relationship with her mother, feels unwanted). It stemmed from me asking for help with something and her just equating it to her life. If I’m doing tummy time with my little one and encouraging them, she’ll start talking over me about how her own child never felt such love from their family, issues she’s had with the child’s father, etc. By the end of our first few days together, I felt drained. If I’m showing her how we make our LO’s bottle, she dives into her traumatic births, how her children were overweight at birth, and missed the bottle instructions so I had to repeat them.
I had to leave for work recently and came to say bye to my LO. She started talking over me talking to my LO about how taking care of a baby is easy, but her life has been so hard. She literally stopped and grabbed her forehead and started talking about how hard her life has been… again, talking over us as I’m telling my LO I’m heading out.
Or she asked me recently if we have plans to have other children, I told her we weren’t sure. She used that as a segway into discussing how she couldn’t have children immediately, married her ex husband within a week at 18, and all because her mother didn’t want her in her house anymore. Or if she hears me having a phone conversation with someone in my family, when I hang up she’ll start unpromptedly talking about how her mother is threatening to kick her out of her home and she may be homeless soon, so it is probably nice to have parents who love me.
By the end of the first week, I knew everything from her traumas from age 7 to now, divorce details, her children’s allergies, her extended family’s hospitalizations, etc. I want to have a good relationship with our nanny and know them well, but this is entirely different. If my husband and I mention anything about childcare being difficult (I.e. we had a rough night because the baby didn’t sleep well), it’ll segway into how much harder her life was raising 4 children etc.
She wiped down the baby’s changing station yesterday (which I greatly appreciated) but it then prompted her to also tell us about her previous run in with chemical pneumonia due to expired cleaning products she once used, tied all of that to her father’s lung cancer given their coughs were similar, and just talked for a good 5-6 minutes about that. It ended with her telling us her father died thinking no one loved him… all from the update of the changing table.
Someone else on here has a recent post about how the parents’ words really matter. Given the amount of time our nanny spends around our LO, I think her words really matter as well. We’ve had to talk to her about negative tonality with the baby, which she’s working on fixing. If the baby is hungry, she generally asks if her parents haven’t fed her versus asking if she’s hungry, or if she’s sleepy the nanny would ask hee if we didn’t let her sleep versus asking if she’s sleepy. As the baby grows and develops her own language skills, I let the nanny know I don’t want the baby to associate those remarks with us. She’s working on talking to her differently but I think a lot of it is unfortunately rooted in her own experiences and parental issues.
We love her work and how she cares for our little one, she’s super in tune with the baby’s needs. But the trauma dumping is very draining. I understand wholeheartedly it may not be easy to be her, and everyone needs an outlet, but it’s to the point where that overtakes every and any thing she says or does. I want to give her honest feedback without hurting her feelings - but not sure it’s my place to do so. It’s getting to the point where we are considering interviewing others (but don’t want to). I mean this in the nicest possible way but we hired her to help us out with our child, not to be her built in therapists.

This complete guide on The Fool tarot card is brought to you by psychics4u.net. For more valuable information, insights and resources, visit: http://psychics4u.net/
What does the fool mean in the tarot cards? The fool is the most wild tarot card in the deck that you can ever get in a psychic reading. The meaning of the fool tarot card is all about new beginnings, a journey which is usually spiritual and fast change. It indicates that things are really going to go forward for you whether it’s love, relationship, money, work, career and health. But all of these good predictions will come true, only if you will believe in yourself and take calculated risks.
If you are interested in learning everything about the meaning of the fool’s journey tarot card, you came to the right place. Keep on reading till the end of this guide as you will find here lots of useful information regarding to:

1. The fool’s journey tarot card description and symbolism.
2. Personality traits.
3. The meaning in love, relationship, money, work, career and health.
4. Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
5. Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
6. How to read the fool’s journey tarot card in upright and reversed position.
7. The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future.
8. The meaning of the number 0 (zero) and 22.
9. Interpretation of astrological zodiac sign.
10. Meaning as feelings.
11. The fool tarot card art and history.

The fool tarot card meaning: Description and symbolism
When we take a first look at the art of fool’s journey tarot card, we immediately notice the bright yellow sun light, the worm rays, the orange – yellow sky and the lite brown ground. The fool has loose and comfortable clothes with flowers patterns on them, mostly yellow which also matches the shoes` shade. Yellow symbolize enlightenment, happy feelings and positive energies.
The fool is ready to take the leap of faith – start a journey to the unknown territory. He doesn’t care if he will encounter obstacles down the road or dangerous situations in the way. He is ready to go no matter what will happen. In fact the fool doesn’t even think about the meaning these problems.
The fool doesn’t care too much about the material world. He collected just the necessary items and packed all his little possessions in a small bag, holding it with his right hand. On the left hand he is holding a beautiful white rose. It means the willingness to scarify and devotion to the spiritual path of life.
Look at his face directed forward and up to the sky, they are full of inspiration, vision and confidence in the current moment. He is free of fear but also innocence because he isn’t aware of the fact that bad things might happen during the unknown journey.
He is standing on the hill, one step before the deadly abyss, caught in the moment. He trusts the universe that everything will turn on the right and positive side. The white dog is barking and jumping, trying to warn him about the chasm. The snowy white mountains and hills from behind also represent a potential slippery outcomes.
The fool is in movement, he is not just standing there, he took the first step and willing to take many more steps in order to complete the journey. In the end he is seeking meaningful spirituality, to be developed to a higher self. However, right now he doesn’t know exactly how to achieve it. There is no plan, no logical calculations, not even knowledge nor experience. Just the element of fire – the burning desire to go forward.
When we look at the fool’s face we can’t really recognize if it’s a man or a woman. That interpretation means it has both the male and female energies, working together in symbiosis.
The fool tarot card meaning as Personality (Persona)
The fool is a free spirit that has no worries, doesn’t always aware of dangerous and the consequences of his action, too impulsive, acting before thinking. This is why the fool needs help when making big decisions.
He is just like a little kid who is very curious and loves to explore everything about the world. He knows he will make mistakes and it will hurt a lot. Yet it doesn’t stop him from taking an action. He likes the experiences of life whether they are good or even bad. He can learn from each situation and grow wiser and stronger. His main goal is to go after the possibility, even if it doesn’t look very clear or doable at the current phase.
The art of celebrating the joy of life. Admiring the beautifulness of the little things, very positive, optimistic and looking at the bright side.
Flexible, can adapt to most situation. He doesn’t have a solid philosophy or principle he must apply, other than been carefree. He still doesn’t have a strong personality and foundations. He is waiting to be shaped by the future experiences.
He is new to this world; he doesn’t always play by the social norms or cultural rules. Mainly because the fool doesn’t knows the meaning of most of them yet. But after the experience is gained the personality will be shaped on the positive way.
What does the fool card mean in love and relationship reading?
The fool card in love and relationships is meaning a huge surprise. You might encounter your lover in a sequence of events that you never would predict, out of the blue. For example, a new stranger that comes into town, new neighbour or new work colleague.
It can also indicate that there is a person that is close to you, but you haven’t really thought you two are compatible in terms of romance, or can go along together because you two have different personality traits. You will suddenly realise that it can happen.
When it comes to a new relationship there is a lot of excitement in the air, meaning fresh positive energy and optimism. While it might give you good feelings and joy, you also need to be caution a bit. You don’t see the whole picture and what you can’t see might hurt you.
There will be warning signs and it is advised to take in consideration every weird signal into consideration. Your friends and family might have an opinion about your new love relationship, please note that they are not jealous or want things to go wrong for you. They just care that everything will work on the good path.
Don’t be too much swept of your feet, in the end you will have to face reality. What you think about a certain man or woman and what is going on in real life are two different things. Once you encounter the polarity between the two, you might be very disappointed.
If what you are looking for is a long term relationship like marriage, than this is not a good tarot card. The fool’s journey tarot card is indicating the beginning but not the middle and the end. Things will change or develop. If you want this to success there is still a lot of work to be done. The person you are seeing right now is not looking for a commitment. Maybe in the future it will change.
If you are a woman the fool tarot card also stand for fertility. It might predict a pregnancy – start of a new life.
The fool tarot card meaning in work, career and money
New possibilities are coming in your way. This is the time to take action and do what you always wanted. Maybe you always wanted to change your career, maybe you want to work somewhere else or maybe to have your own business.
The main interpretation or meaning is that you need to go with what you believe in, even if there will be hard times during that period. Some people will not like what you are doing, they will try to stop you and change your mind. Situations like this need to be balance. On the one hand it’s good to listen to them, because they have other point of view and might teach you new perspective. On the other way don’t let it to discourage you from achieving the goal.
Understand that making a change related to work and money has its own risks. You can find yourself unemployed for a while or even loosing money. But when we are looking at the long term of the journey, in most cases there will be a success.
The fool tarot card meaning health
Regarding health, the fool tarot card meaning is good physical conditions.
If you were sick before, the interpretation is that the illness might begin to disappear and you suppose to feel much better.
Another possible meaning and interpretation is regarding to health is physical accident. As you may very well know by now, the fool is taking risks without thinking about them too much. The fool is on the verge of the cliff and if something will go wrong he will slip down.
Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
Basically the fool’s journey is a good tarot card, as the main meaning is a new beginning. Usually when we have something new in our life, it is exciting, gives us good feeling and very interesting and intriguing. At this moment we pay attention only to the good and positive aspects of the event. We normally drawn to the situation, don’t think too much about it and we don’t want to ruin it, just flow with the current.
However, nothing is perfect and you also need to be aware of dangerous situations that are a head of you. There will be warning signs of bad energies. Therefore the best practice is no keep an eye on what is going on.
Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
The fool’s journey tarot card is usually neutral. The card is symbolizing something fresh and new possibilities. It can turn bad or good depending or the steps you take during your journey. More often than not it is interpreted as a yes card.
The fool’s journey tarot card upright meaning
Upright keywords: new beginnings, freedom, originality, foolishness, spontaneity, travel, adventure, leap of faith, careless, innocence.
The upright meaning of the fool tarot card is about taking risks in order to improve your situation and gain more of what you really want in life. Every one of us has certain desires and personal goals that we want to pursue. So if this card show up in a psychic reading than it is a good time to start a new adventure.
You have to be brave and face your inner demons and fears. Although the card is generally positive, the road to happiness is not easy and you will encounter some problems. From that reason it is very crucial that you will have faith and believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, even if right now it is not very clear how, you will find the solution. Even if everyone around advice or telling you that you will fail, don’t listen to them too much and go only with your inner true.
Don’t look back on past experiences. Even if you had bad moments, don’t let them hold you from changing your situation. Remember the lessons you have learned and just keep on go forward all the way.
The fool’s journey tarot card reversed meaning
Reversed keywords: lack of direction, chaos, naive, reckless, lack of direction, poor judgement
When the tarot card is being spread upside down (reversed), it means that you jumped too far without thinking about the implications of your action, this might put you in trouble. As shown graphically in the fool tarot card, he is standing right before the cliff. Every big step or reckless movement can bring him to death.
Even if the fool tarot card is showing in reversed it still means a new beginning, but something is holding you back. For example it can be fear of the unknown future, failure and inability to make decisions.
The reversed meaning in love and relationship: if you are single than you are not ready for a long term relationships, you will not find term partner. If you are already seen someone that he or she doesn’t ready to make a commitment. They just want to have fun and fool around.
With money and career, when the tarot card is reversed, beware that no one is taking an advantage or you. For example someone can offer you a bad business idea or shady investment opportunity. And in the end you will lose lots of money.
The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future
When we relate to the past, the meaning of the fool tarot card is that you have wasted lots of time and energies on people or work or relationships that you are no longer interested in. you had enough with all of this and you are looking for something different.
The present: right now you need a change, you don’t know if it will turn out to be good or bad. You are standing on a crossroad, you need to make a choice and just go for it. Things are looking too complicated right now, this is fine and you will have to address those issues but not right now. The most important thing is that you’ll move on to the desired direction.
The future: the fool tarot card is mainly concern about the present moment. But it can give us a little projection on the future as well. In the future you will have to invent yourself, adapt and be very flexible. When you will see a new opportunity, don’t hesitate and don’t go back to your old habits, which are holding you back.
The fool tarot card number meaning
The fool tarot card is a part of the whole 22 major arcana cards. It referred to key number 0 (zero), meaning the first in the deck. But it can also be placed at the end – key number 22. Because of that fact, the fool symbolizing the beginning and the end of a life cycle. Further more, the cycle is endless so in theory it goes in never-ending loop forever and ever, repeat itself to the eternity.
During our life, we will go through the 21 keys or elements of the fool’s journey. We will meet people who will teach us lessons about life. We will change our behaviour and feelings in order to continue with the journey. So in the end we will go back to the very first place that it was all begun, but now we are different in the way that we are wiser and stronger. It is more like spiritual voyage of self discovery.
The word fool in French language means a sack that is full of air, not with material objects. This is the reason why everything is possible even if it doesn’t seem so. It is also a symbol of triumph.
The number zero in numerology represents no limitation and lots of positive options to choose from. It is nothing and yet it is also everything together. The order of the numbers doesn’t apply to zero, as it all start afterwards. So there is no past for the fool, only future.
22 innumerology is great transformation energy. It is the ability to turn dreams and wishes to come true to the world of reality.
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac sign
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac signs are Aquarius and Pisces.
Aquarius is the 11th zodiac in astrology, mainly represents the element of water. Liquid flow that travel on earth. Strong current of water that can creates its own path by shaping rivers, lakes and the bottom of the ocean. Always on the move, looking for new adventure and can get bored really quick.
Pisces is a dreamer very much like the fool’s personality from the tarot card. They want to go somewhere, but they can’t decide what the right direction for them is. They have this conflict as depict in the zodiac sign – two fish, each one of them is swimming to another side. Pisces are also very emotional and control by their feelings.
In astrology the role of Uranus planet is to be like a clock, to awake us and get us doing things. This is very similar to the fool’s situation as described in the tarot card. There is some burning flame of fire inside of him that wouldn’t let him rest until he will find his answers. It is a call to take immediate action.
The fool tarot card meaning as feelings
As feelings, the fool’s journey tarot card gives us positive feelings. In most cases the answers to you questions are yes, there are good energies and positive vibes surrounding you. Even if the tarot card show in reversed it is still have bigger aspect of positivity with a minor challenge that stands in your way. In fact, it the ancient days of psychic reading the card was actually a joker – the most powerful item in the deck.
The fool tarot card art and history
Long time ago when tarot cards were used as a game and not for psychic reading, the fool’s card was the most powerful card in the deck. He was outside of the order and if you had it, you could protect and win the game.
Few hundreds year later the art of this tarot card was described more as someone who has unwanted personality in society, and therefore he lost all his magic and power. People didn’t want to associate themselves with this image. It was considered a negative energy and bad omen from the future. It symbolized unsuccessful life, misfortune and tormeneted feelings.
Later on, the fool’s image became a man of courage. Until that very day, the fool’s is still the hero card on the tarot deck. Although he is numbered 0 (zero) which mean nothing, he denotes new journey and possibilities, which is everything we need.
In many myths, legends and folklore story through history, the fool is actually the wisest person of all. He might look a little different or simple or even out of the common norms, but he knows better. Although at the beginning he didn’t had too much wisdom, his actions and failures through life, brought him new experiences and valuable lessons to learn from. All of this could happen just because of one thing: he wasn’t afraid to take the risk.
In fact, those who are dismissing him or don’t understand him, are the real fools because they don’t know how much wisdom he has to offer to the world.
Other names for the fool tarot card: joker, jester, clown, buffoon, folie, fov, il matto, le fou, and le mat.
Feel free to write your thoughts or questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!

I love the idea of Kosmik but the execution isnt quite there yet. I plan on trying it out further but theres a couple of things that get in the way. This is my first impressions review and what i intend as constructive feedback
Usability (testing on windows 10)
Smaller stuff easy to improve (but are creating attrition for me constantly)

• (BUG) For me right-click -> create if i dont navigate correctly to the desired option the sub-menu with the options disapear while the main right-click menu still shows. I need to close the menu and re-open it to try again
• Lack of basic keyboard functionality like shift+arrows for selecting text
• Wich is very weird- on one hand things like text editing are telling me 'this is mouse first', meanwhile i cant drag the canvas with the mouse, only by pressing space...?
• Im constantly confused by the delete key not working, instead only the backspace deletes cards
• Cards can only be resized on their corners
• I expected dragging urls would add then to the canvas and bookmarking being some sort of traditional bookmarks. Took me awhile to figure it out
• Theres a Tag button on the browser, but applying tags to the open browser and later closing the browser dont make that url appear anywhere searching for that tag
• 'Bookmarks'(urls on canvas) for me are failing to show any image or preview beyond the default space station illustration (except for kosmik own website)...
• ...and then the app prevents me from resizing the cards RATIO- i can make the card smaller but i cant make it more of a rectangle or very small, im forced to have a big square repeated ilustration for each, and with no alternative like folding then
• Absent settings for the overall app and smaller features or options- like ui size, custom keyboard shortcuts, dark mode

At least on windows feels a bit undercooked. I dont know wether some of those are design choices or features still missing but i feel the design a bit at odds- in some parts it conveys 'use mouse only/first' in others it demands keyboard, and in the mean time some of the common design patterns both for mouse and keyboard arent used or use some non-tradional choice- making it harder to learn, creating some confusion or wrong expectations.
For example the bookmark icon is a vey tradional and ubiqutuous skeumorphic symbol for a very common feature that saves urls or files in a list, tradionally urls. Some apps get away using then for favorite files, photos or other things given their context so the user can imagine the equivalent in a given context... but here it shows alongside the in-app browser, next to an url... Maybe a different icon, like a card with a Plus sign and a tip 'add to canvas'?
I dont understand why tags are in the browser if apparently they only work with cards added on the canvas. If the intent was treating the open browser as a canvas element then said browser should be like a card (for example being able to open multiple browser windows in different universes) as if they were cards. Right now the browser is like a temporary tool...
If the intention (im trying to deduce here) was to apply tags before bookmarking so the bookmark already apply said tags then both operations would work better together- 1 button, the add-site to canvas, and that button opening up a prompt to add tags before confirming if desired.
Overall- Service, app, marketing
I was a bit misled regarding expectations because of a video/moto 'best browser for research' - so i installed it expecting more of a Browser with a canvas then a canvas with a very limited in-app browser. So i came expecting multiple tabs or adding extensions...
I dont mean to say the app should be like a browser BUT it is a interesting area to improve and turn into its differential, given some of the competition and how most people would be using it alongside a browser anyway
In a general sense my impressions:
From the 'best browser for research' perspective:

• Some missing browser features creates attrition, like quickly switching between 2 sites (tabs or some alternative) or having common used urls quickly acessible (like favorites/bookmarks in a traditional sense)
• For example if i have a site i commonly use or search and wanted to quickly open the app requires we add then to a universe. If i make a universe of 'favorites' they will only open those sites on that particular universe... if i want those common shortcuts elsewhere id have to add then to each and every universe...?
• Given the research goal, existing features like tags and search i was expecting things like bookmarks could have descriptions. I can add a bookmark to a universe then create a text/note explaining it on 1 universe...
• ...but then i cant add that same bookmark and that text and its tags in another universe, unless i made a new repeated bookmark and written the same thing again
• Therefore 2 feature suggestions: (1)some bookmark list or browser, where the bookmarks can also have tags even if they exist globally (2)optional description for bookmarks, that would be acessible if/when theyre added from bookmarks to a canvas
• Some useful features from some browsers or famous extensions are great for research, like saving and reopening sessions...
• ...or searching through your history
• Theres complete obscurity how the app handles logins, cookies... or options for different profiles. We can make different universes, but i see no way of having different profiles/spaces (with different universes each) where one im logged in with my work mail and the other my personal one.

I wonder if the app allowed for pages inside cards (not previews, rendered pages) would be a good alternative for things like tabs
From a general canvas-notation perspective

• Universes even tough created/saved locally are always in sync with the cloud - im one of those people that dont like having sensitive data on clouds because leaks and data theft by hackers exist (and do hit even huge companies). I wouldnt create some of the universes/notes i naturally would take in Kosmik, only more general browsing links and quick notes- unless it had an option for optional local-only universes
• A lot isnt covered in the FAQ and i couldnt find the answers, such as:
• I see no options for exporting universes or its notes in any way
• I could have no sense if images copy-pasted/dragged from the browser are like urls the canvas render (so no file size) or copy-pasted files that hit the cloud space quota- im under the impression theyre all copy-pasted (and i feel like they shouldnt, the app should consider every url as that and render the url)
• I can see nowhere how much space been used, left, etc

I have used waaay too many notes and canvas apps in my search for the apps that filled that niche for me like id like, and heck for years a good app with canvas was my most wanted feature that almost no one was doing save for few clunky flowchart apps.
Im glad that now theres been a boom of options and ive been giving everyone a chance- but still not one have all the things id like (i could pinpoint a frankenstein of features from different apps id wish into one)... Kosmik is already ahead of half of the competition (imo) just by having both a native app and web view options, and by the apps having the files locally+sync instead of rendering from the cloud only all the time (much faster and snappiers wich is a big deal for me) - and the web/browsing+canvas angle is a very interesting proposition
But that is where i got disapointed- the web-browsing in app alongside canvas is still very limited to hit the potential of that proposition. As it is right now, for example, i feel more confortable having any browser in a smaller window and copy-pasting urls into Kosmik then relying fully on the internal browser, save for quick search queries
I focus so much on the browser aspect not only because it was how i first found about kosmik but also because without that angle it falls short on some alternatives. Not completely btw, drawing tools and pdf handling seem to be great and ahead of some alternatives (some are good at drawing but barely beyond that, others better as notes but with terrible or no drawing)...
But i still feel like the 'best app for research' (browser+canvas/notes+pdf), emphasis on the browsing is the best angle, best bet for Kosmik to grow above alternatives... but extra emphasis on potential- i dont feel like its hitting that note quite yet, at least not on windows.
I will try to stick with Kosmik for awhile despite the clunkiness and attriction i feel, but not as id like to use it and more like a buffer between traditional browsing/searching and taking my notes- im planing on inserting Kosmik in between as quick notes for links before later refering to then on notes elsewhere... but i confess im sort of forcing this workflow just to keep using kosmik and keep tabs on updates- im sticking around in the hopes of what may come and not for what it currently is.
I have high hopes for the app and in my case (i lean more towards power user then casual) even if i use other apps a good better version of Kosmik in this niche would fit for me even alongside other apps. Heck i currently use 2 similars in tandem (similar in notes/canvas) for their different strengths and niches- and neither have carved web browsing research as their niche
Anyway, those were my very long 2cents. I hope the feedback is taken positively