I'm super glad people are finding out about jubensha in the west, I absolutely loved playing jubensha (via mobile device) with some friends who were new arrivals from China many years back but they aren't interested anymore :(
I found a free jubensha and spent a solid two weeks translating it using a combination of Google translate and my heritage chinese language skills (which aren't great). Plus I remade all the maps and photoshopped the clues so they looked somewhat like the originals.
I've hosted it twice and it's a doozy, takes 5 hours to complete with lots of thinking.
Incidentally I'm looking into building an app that will digitize murder mysteries/jubensha just like the app I used with my friends when I was first introduced to jubensha. I would love to hear feedback/get user in the future from this community when I get to that point.
In exchange, let me know if you'd be interested in playing this translated jubensha (with me hosting) or if you'd prefer I send over the files. I'd like to do my part in growing this community :)
Here's the link to the Chinese file (which is originally free): https://www.murdermysterypa.com/mmpg_340.html
And here's my own summary of it:
BLOODCRAFT THE MAGIC
During the late Italian middle ages, many forces vie for power in an increasingly tumultuous era. In the backdrop, outbreaks of plague are cropping up all across the Apennine Peninsula.
There is a small, desolate island off the southern coast of Naples that houses a now-abandoned castle. Chilling rumors say that it was once home to a pagan cult known for human sacrifice.
A number of visitors arrive at the island's historic castle, each with their own motives and secrets.
As the turbulent waves batter the island's shores, as the stale air moves through the castle's dark corridors, and as ghosts of the past revive themselves before these unsuspecting travelers, what mysteries will unfold?

I am living in a house. The house is in a strange place. There are concrete walkways and larger stretches asphalt at their sides. The area is densely forested and moss is overgrown. The house is the only real building there. I walked for ages and couldn’t find anywhere else to stay, as much as I wanted to. I’m told that there are homes somewhere else for lost people like me but this is the only one I know. If I were to run away I’d starve to death, or maybe I’d get murdered, or maybe placed in some sort of home for what others (if there even are other people) consider “crazies.”
It’s not that the house is a terrible place. There is food, sometimes even prepared for me. I have a nice room to myself. But there’s just something wrong about it. The people there talk as if we know each other but I don’t think I remember them at all. All I can really say is that they make me uneasy, as if at any moment something will go wrong with them.
Occasionally I’ll here a number of terrible sounds from the ground floor, where the “living room” (I don’t know if it’s one) is. Sometimes it’s a terrible constant cry for help, one that feels my heart with rage, as if I’ve tried and failed to answer that cry so many times before. Sometimes, I hear the noise of anodyne jazz music emitting from a distorted speaker, so loud that I still hear it shaking the ground when I cower under my blanket. Sometimes when I want to speak with the people I’ll walk down there, raise my voice, and then instantly that sound will begin again, and the people won’t seem to hear me.
It’s not that I hate this house, it’s that I’ll never understand how someone can belong here. I could survive here, ducked under my bedsheets on my computer forever until I need to eat. But I just can’t make sense of it. Why is it like this?

So I'll preface this by saying my mom raised my sis(32f) and I(28f) by herself. My sister has a thing where she always needs to help, I've told her she has a thing for down on their luck men but she doesn't see it. I have my issues but this is not about me rn. So although we are religious we aren't crazy religious, but my mom was clear about being a parent before she is a friend growing up. As adults she's much more a friend and as such, although she does tell us her opinions she lets us make our mistakes even if she has to say I told you so while helping clean the mess up. When I finished school I moved down to where my mom was taking care of her grand mother my great grand to help out. While I knew my sis was sneaking around about something I didn't really think much of it. This would have been about two or three years ago, it didn't become obvious until after I moved and she was left alone. I'd visit here and there and realize she was spending much more time away from home until she said she was dating a guy who livednot far away. My mom dislike him what seemed immediately but I tried giving him a chance and convinced my mom as such. After a while my sister's actions became more obvious, I would still pop in by the house and spend the night or a couple days and I toiced she started spending the night out even when she said she'd be home later. She didn't ask me to lie but there was a distinct 'don't let mom know' vibe.again religious household, we weren't allowed to sleep over at men's homes like that. We could spend a night by a male family friend but often sleeping there is a big no no. So I'd deflect when I was visiting and our mom called and asked about her and why she wasn't answering her phone. As time passed I slowly began disliking her bf and his family and the fact that I noticed on my visits that the house felt less lived in. Her bf and his family is all about public opinion and just shy of showing off. Everything has to be big and grand and a spectacle, I noticed her bf would at times be flippant about her opinions and belongings. He'd even makes insensitive remark, ill also mention here that my sister has her degree and a well paying job while I don't think he has his and he is self employed with irregular work. My sister would often jump in to help him organize his business but to him the business is his and she has nothing to do with it. So even if she handles the admin stuff and organize his money records and makes calls, all profit is his and she has nothing to get from it. Gradually she began staying at his house that his parents live in along with his siblings, it's a large enough house that they could all live there in comfort since his parents had nice jobs and they built a house to match. My sister eventually got pregnant for him, which wasn't surprising because she'd been sleeping in his room more than her own bed at home, a male family friend called it even before she was pregnant that they were banging. Muchless my mom wasn't happy but there wasn't much you can do after the fact. My mom and I did our best supporting her and she practically moved in with him. Our house needs repairs and while she was pregnant I tried encouraging her to fix what she could before the baby came, like the best part of the house. She didn't, and even while pregnant she did stuff he should have been doing like picking up heavy objects and taking care of his animals.muchless he Lost points in my eyes, I threw her a babyshower which my mom funded and his family brought the drinks and he tried getting us to hold it by his home even though we planned it. The baby came via c-section and she came home to us to recover, and while his mom and one sister visited he jokingly mentioned how my sister has to lose weight. Eventually he kept bugging her to come to his house that was and hour away and she kept telling him she couldn't make the journey just yet because of her stitches. Eventually she gave in to his nagging and I drove her up, when it came to the christening because he is a different denomination of Christian he insisted their child be dedicated under his, all of this was after he announced the child's name without getting her approval and fussing about the one name she wanted to give while he gave two names. Only his Godparents were able to stand up because my sister's picks were not of the denomination the christening was taking place under. The brunch they(the guy) instead on was cooked by my mom and me and the after party food was done by his side, although my sister did tell him to order a certain amount of a type of dish that he didn't do because his mom said not to, they later ran out of the item. He told my sister his mom knew better because she had more kids than our mom when my sister asked him to tell his mother not to do some stuff to their kid after she had already asked her and she disregarded her. His mother and sister looks after their kid while my sister goes to work and his mother bundles the baby up and leaves it in a hot room. Both his mother and sister began treating my sister badly and his mother has a diagnosis of early signs of memory loss which my sister has began attributing her bad treatment to which i called bull on. He doesn't allow her to take the kid to funerals and once said something insensitive about the death of my sister's friend's mom, this rules does not apply to his family funerals. When my sister told him to let his sister travel because shed be late to pick me and my mom up after he'd made us late previously for something similar for a pre planned and paid church brunch he told her that we should learn to travel although my mom and I both travel 90% of the time and it wasn't the first time he had made them/heUS late. Later my sister and his mom and sister han a falling out one I told her was going to happen and she didnt listen to after his mom began acting like her kids was her own after she had it and he was carrying their kid for his mom while she was left alone and was asked to send/provide the milk, they made her postpartum worst than it should have been. Both my mom and I told her to move back to the house which she did for a couple days before she was right back sleeping at his place. He regularly makes in my opinion insensitive remarks and everything must be his way from what I've noticed. I've also noticed it's difficult for her to move back home, the first time he stayed the house with strong pesticide so she couldn't stay, attempt Number 2 her car was hit(not really his fault) but he was park badly,and the most recent attempt at organizing to go home, her car was stolen and scrapped (he had nothing to do with the stealing) aitah if I get feup with her and his bull and the fact that I've secretly begun hoping they breakup and encourage it in small ways? Are both my mom and I wrong for disliking him as much as we do? There are other things he's has done that makes me dislike them being together no to mention he keeps his family stuff away from her and has flat out practically told her his family business has nothing to do with her.

This is going to be a long one. I just need to write it out so I don’t end up talking to anybody about it IRL (I don’t want many people to know - because I can’t handle anybody saying “but she is your mother” at this point), I just need to write this all down to get it out of my system.
And yup, definitely mommy issues here. I grew up with only her, only child, and she isolated us from everybody else because of her hoarding (and her personality). I feel like I have been living my life like an orphan trying to raise myself, combined with the strange mix of being a child who never felt like a child, who was trying to be the parent for my parent.
I’ve had a lot of… unfortunate events take place in my life, things that when I have told people 5% of it they would say it sounds horrible, that no person should experience things like that (in a variety of categories). But… I am dead set that the one thing that has affected me the most in my life is my mother’s neglect.
She did her best, it wasn’t good enough.
It’s been almost 6 months since I went no contact (well technically very low contact since I have exchanged maybe 5 - 6 text messages in the past half year) with my mother, and it got me thinking what pushed me over the edge to go no contact this time around - considering my mother hasn’t changed that much at her core. Sure, she has gotten older and even more rigid, but she is still my mother, with the same personality traits she always had.
I went to visit her three times last fall. I tried to help her. Be her “parent”. Take her to various doctors after she has neglected her own health for years. Arrange for home help. Clean up the worst of the hoard (like the literal rotting trash). Get the bathroom and kitchen back into a functional state so she can continue to live in her home. Try to clean up the worst parts of how she has neglected herself and her surroundings (her apartment).
That in itself didn’t make me go no contact.
It wasn’t that I came to a hoarded, dirty house that made me cut her out.
It wasn’t that she blatantly lied and said she had cleaned the apartment to bait me into coming visiting in the first place that made me go no contact.
It wasn’t that she refused to accept help from anybody but me until I put my foot down and pretty much forced it through.
It wasn’t even that she was so rude to both nurses and me, always either wanted to have power over someone or being the victim.
It was wasn’t even that she has so little interest in me or anything about me that she has no idea about what is going on in my life.
All of those things are sad, devastating even, but those things didn’t make me say “enough”. I’ve been living with her as my mother for close to 40 years. Of course, all of these things were some of the underlying factors, but I what drove me over the edge was a ridiculous, tiiiiiiiny little thing, tbh. And to explain that tiny little thing, I need to give some back story.
When I moved back from another country I had brought back a blanket from that country that I used on my bed. I used it when I lived with my previous partner in this other country, I used it when I lived alone in that country, and I used it when I moved back to this country and stayed over in the tiny room in her apartment I cleaned out so I had a base to help her with the rest of the apartment.
Because of Covid (and my reluctance to go back into her hoarded apartment), I had not been in that apartment for 4 years (2019 - 2023). In that apartment there was a tiny 6 square meter room that I cleaned up.
When I say “clean up”, it is an understatement. That room had been completely been blocked off because of her hoard from top to bottom from when I was younger. To the point where the door did not open and it was impossible to enter the room. I literally had to pry the door open, and try to pull out item by item until there was enough space to actually open the door.
But I cleaned the entire 6 square meters over the years! I bought a little foldable bed, a pillow and a duvet, some furniture, sorted my stuff in there, and my mother promised that this could be “my room” in her apartment. This was because she really wanted me to come visiting (and she needed my help), and the rest of the apartment is… unsanitary. I had two specific requests for that room - that she would not put any of her hoard in there, and not let the cats in there - since I am allergic. (I can take an allergy tablet and be fine around cats, but I can’t live in an environment with a ton of cat hair.)
When I returned for the first time in 4 years in 2023, the little room I’ve kept clean years prior was covered in cat hair and cat puke. And she has started hoarding there again as well. So she broke that promise - to keep that ONE tiny room cat- and clutter-free. (Technically she also flat out lied and said she has cleaned her apartment so I would come visit in the first place, but I thought that it sounded so far fetched I didn’t believe it in the first place. But the ONE tiny room though, I trusted she could keep that tiny space in her house - and her heart - for me.)
I got both sad and angry when I saw the state of the room. I had to buy a new pillow, and a new duvet, new sheets - which wasn’t covered in… cat piss, puke and hair. But my blanket, my dear blanket… I said that the least she could do was getting it dry cleaned. That was on visit number one last fall.
I even found a place she could hand the blanket in, and we even went there together and made sure they could clean the blanket for like 50 dollars (not a terrible price in this country for that type of blanket).
The blanket was completely covered in cat hair and what I presume to be cat puke (despite her swearing that the cats had never been in that room EVER or on that blanket on the bed EVER. She really took delulu is the new solulu to another level. I really think she believes her own lies). I cleaned off as much haipuke as I could from my blanket. Then I packed it up in a sealed bag, so it was ready to go to the dry cleaners.
Came back a second time, about a month later. She hadn’t taken the blanket to the dry cleaner yet. My itinerary was packed, following her to doctors appointments, setting up home help, the whole shabang.
Came back for the third time last fall, about a month after that again. She still had not taken the blanket to the dry cleaning. It was right where I left it, gathering dust.
So that is what broke me. That god damn blanket is the catalyst to why I went no contact. I haven’t been there since November 2023. (She lives a 7 hr train ride / 45 min flight away).
I will contact her at the end of May, and ask her if the blanket has been dry cleaned.
I am willing to bet a substantial amount of money that it has not. Despite me finding the place she can hand it in to be dry cleaned. Despite me packing the blanket up in a bag for easy transport.
I honestly don’t know where to go from here when I will (most likely) confirm that she hasn’t gotten the blanket dry cleaned. The place to hand it in is literally 5 min away with car, 7 by bus, 25 min to walk. And if she hasn’t been able to do that for me in 6 months - it is baffling to me if she doesn’t understand why I have to limit contact with her?
I know this is such a tiny thing. It’s just a blanket. But this is how every little tiny - and big - thing is with her.
I chose the flair that says “support through advice”, and I guess what I am asking is not how I can change her or her habits - I have lost most hopes she will change - but if someone can tell me if there are other solutions than no contact here? I feel so guilty. She doesn’t have many people in her life. I am an only child. She has no partner. Very little contact with friends. But at the same time I felt enraged whenever I had to communicate with her last fall before I went no contact. I thought maybe the no contact would have her reflect on her behaviors, but clearly this is a moot point. So where do I go from here? I don’t think I can ever forgive myself if she were to pass away and I would have been no contact. But I also feel so bitter and angry just thinking about picking up any contact with her again.

I did some testing with Astral’s revamped AI XXL mod, which seemed to be the only one I could find that was able to pump up AI to ludicrous numbers. I decided to chart out which maps had the most AI and wanted to see if anyone had seen any numbers higher than the ones posted.
I hope in the future the Dev team releases some old maps as options as well. I remember the old farm having up to 100 suspects at once.
Gas Station: 38
Condominiums: 19
213 Park Homes: 60
Brixley Talent Time: 21
Sullivans Slope: 12
Brisa Cove: 25
Datacenter: 54
Beach:8
Postal office: 46
Voll House: 51
Watt College: 22
Border Reserve: 42
Clemente Hotel: 41
Neon Nightclub: 52
Car Dealership: 50
Cherryessa Farm: 52
Coastal Medical Center: 70
Port Hokan: 83

My (30f) bf (38m) and i have been dating for 3 years and are moving in together in a couple months. I earn maybe about 30k a year; he earns close to 120k. He owns a house, a nice car, and works a fancy job.
The entire time we've been together, the only things that he has randomly (excluding birthdays and Christmases) gifted me with are a puzzle set, 2 pairs of underwear, and chocolate coffee beans. That's ALL i can remember receiving from him. Our meals and experiences are mostly MY expenses -- ESPECIALLY when it was me that wanted to go out.
He buys the groceries.
When I move in in a few months, he said that i will have to share in the expenses. And sure, I guess rent is expected and i cant live there for free...? But i am honestly worried that if i do move in, i will have to pick up a second job to pay for me -- and for us.
Ladies, have your bfs paid or given you things?

Hello, halifax. I have been coming to this subreddit for quite a while now and it's been startling to watch the nature of posts regarding immigrants and international students drastically change over the last few years. I remember people seemed to share mostly positive views towards immigrants, which later changed to concern regarding the pressure immigration was putting on the housing market, and now there's open derision regarding immigrants, particularly, Indians. Anything that people seem to dislike about Indian immigrants or temporary residents, such as those who live in cramped, overcrowded apartments, is ascribed to their culture.
My experience in Halifax as an international student has been nothing but positive so far. There have been several instances where I have been moved by the decency and unassuming kindness of strangers who I've met here. Even though there are things that worry me such as the problems with healthcare and housing, they don't matter as much when I realize just how much I love being part of this community. It has thus been with dismay that I have seen the opinion of people turn against Indians on this forum, and it's also what my Canadian friends have told me about how their friends and family think.
This is why I decided to make this post. Not to point fingers at people for not being nice or making them feel sad for me; I guess, I just want to give my perspective on things and have people decide for themselves. I apologize if the post ends up being too long, I don't know exactly what I'll be writing.
India along with China has nearly a third of the human race living in it. India alone has nearly forty times more people than Canada. However, unlike China with its Han majority, India isn't largely homogeneous, it holds several nations within it. The country is comprised of myriad ethnic, linguistic, and religious communities that usually have little in common with each other. There is no such thing as Indian culture, food, dress, language, or race; these terms are just used by businesses and Indians in Canada to make it easier for them to be identified by others. The things most Indians value are the same as those valued by all people - integrity, honesty, generosity, humility, and fairness. I talk to most Indians I meet in Halifax in English since we don't have a language in common.
I know times are hard for people with the housing crisis, struggling healthcare, inflation and low wages. People in Halifax have experienced rapid changes in a short time, they've suddenly found themselves surrounded by a lot of people who look different, speak a different language, and have different lifestyles. I can understand why a person who grew up in Halifax would think that this is no longer the city they grew up in, with people they no longer recognize, and end up feeling like an outsider in their hometown. This feeling of wanting things to go back to how they used to be does not make people bigots, just humans. Indians of course stick out the most since they form the biggest chunks of immigrants. Colonization by England during the 18th and 19th centuries means that a lot of schools use English as a medium of instruction. Languages spoken in Northern India (also Pakistan/Afghanistan) belong to the Indo-Aryan family which use sentence structures and grammar similar to that of European languages, making it easier for people from these regions to pick up the language even if they didn't speak any to begin with. The annual emigration from India to Canada is about 200000 people, which is nearly 0.01% of the population, the equivalent figure for Canada would be 5000 per year. There is no flood of Indians leaving the country en masse to get into Canada, though I of course understand why it would feel that way from a Canadian's perspective.
A lot of Canadians feel that there is a lot of fraud involved in Indian applications for Canadian study or work permits, but they are also the most scrutinized. My application had 125 pages, I just checked, because I had to provide proof for everything. It's difficult to get away with using fake educational credentials, though people do borrow money to show they have more funds to sustain themselves in Canada than they have. People might wonder how bad actors can then get into Canada on study permits, that's because the requirements for getting a diploma are somewhat low.
It is also true that most people go to the diploma mills in Ontario not for an education, but to earn as much as they can working for as long as possible. Students who are serious about getting a decent education tend to go to universities. I know people chafe at the fact that international students come here for the implicit purpose of getting a PR or citizenship. Still, temporary residents do not even understand that this is considered 'wrong' since that is how these schools and the Canadian government market themselves in the developing world. If getting a PR wasn't an option, you wouldn't see any students from South America, the Caribbeans, Africa, Iran or South Asia.
I have a similar reason for coming here. I felt out of place in India, as if the country was going in a different direction and I was in another. I wanted to see more of the world and experience a different way of life. While I feel like I belong in Canada, and identify more with the culture here, it's darkly amusing to realize that now it's the country that feels that I don't belong.
A lot of people also seem to allege that the Liberal government is importing these people to build its voter base. South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Afghan, Nepali, Bangladeshi) societies are ultra-conservative, and most people have views on immigration that are far to the right of the Canadian Conservatives. Canadian citizens from India, China and Lebanon that I've met all support a stronger curbing of immigration numbers (even from their home countries) and are supporters of Pierre Poilievre. Whether this is a good or a bad thing is something I leave to you to decide. The actual reason for mass immigration seems to be economic and mundane rather than ideologically driven and nefarious. Immigration-driven population growth in 2022 and 2023 helped the Canadian economy stave off a recession by sustaining consumption levels. The Canadian government probably gambled that a housing crisis and inflation were lesser evils for the country compared to a full-blown recession.
There are students and Indian immigrants who are abusing the trust and kindness of the communities they reside in by abusing food banks, cheating in tests or plagiarizing, being unprofessional at work or lacking civic sense in public. But I wonder if Canadians wouldn't have such problems, maybe of a different kind, if as large a group of immigrants arrived from a different country. I have personally not met any Indian student who shared their room with another person let alone several. If I had to guess, it is probably the folks from the Ontario diploma mills who are coming here to work minimum wage jobs in the hopes of a PR (I haven't interacted with any though, it's just a guess). Indians in Canada suffer from inflation and housing the same as anywhere else. It's just that they prefer choosing to stay together in cramped apartments since which they feel is better than the terror of becoming homeless in a foreign land.
There are also things Indians do for white Canadians that they wouldn't do for other Indians. For example, they are more likely to tip if the server or cab driver is white than if they're Indian. Indians also tend to be more courteous to white Canadians than to other Indians. It's from the fear of being judged or having their culture/country be judged by others. I have not cooked any Indian food ever since I came to Halifax after reading that the odour tends to stick to your clothes because of how enclosed Canadian houses are.
It's perfectly reasonable for citizens to demand curbs on immigration, for immigration from each country to be capped, and for requirements for international students to be increased. However, to despise people just because it's been realized that they weren't really needed after all seems a bit excessive. Indians want the same things that Canadians or people anywhere do, the happiness of the people they love. Even if Indians aren't all good, they aren't one big collective, indistinguishable from each other, and bereft of any goodness.

Was on another playthrough of WD2 and was just getting into the car to go avenge Horatio (the guy that was dead in the beginning) and I just find it so ironic and also tragic how "Miss Me Blind" just happened to be playing on the pop station. Until that point it just felt like just another playthrough but when I heard that song, I just felt myself slow down as that just hit me in the feels hard. It reminded me of when my grandmother passed on because a few days after that, an unknown number called the house phone but hung up before anyone could answer and then soon after that, my mother heard Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" on the radio.
Music truly is a powerful thing. Stay safe and well, everyone ^{^}

Our usual meeting spot is about 20-30 min for her and about 30 min to 1.5 hours (depending on traffic) for me.
For context the relationship between my ex and I is contentious so i try not to talk to her unless it’s about the kids. We just had a 3 year court battle with kid withholding, a lot of her accusing me of being a bad dad and dangerous and me ultimately gaining primary custody. Our 15 year old son lives with us and sees his mom every other weekend. I pay for everything and it’s been hard getting her to even pay for some medical fees, though to be fair she buys him nice clothes and 200 dollar jordans occasionally.
I had a trip planned for ages over memorial day which is my ex’s weekend - when all of a sudden our son tells me last month his friend asked him to be in a quinceneara end of may. No details, nothing on time, just the date. I told him its his moms weekend and he needs to talk to her about it which he keeps claiming he did, as she even took him to a practice on her weekend. I also mentioned it to her.
I finally got the friend’s parent’s number out of my son this week and texted asking for details. Turns out it won’t end until 10-1030 pm and then they are driving the kids back to our city which is 45 min away making it super late for my ex to pick him up. I told her i can arrange for him to sleepover at his friends house that he sleeps over at often who will also he at the quince and she can get him the next morning if that’s easier.
So now she is mad at me saying I’m a bad co-parent and why am I going out of town, she would have preferred to switch weekends if she knew it was so late and she had to drive an hour, that he is 15 years old and too young to be out until 12 am (and shouldn’t be sleeping over at friend’s houses). I think we landed on her picking him up from the quince early because she doesn’t want him staying out but I feel like this is still somehow my fault because of how mad she was, like I should have cancelled my vacation or something and just taken the hit financially or shouldn’t have gone in the first place or should I have just told my son he couldn’t go to the quince?
AITA?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Hi everyone. I’m mainly a portrait & wedding photographer with some prior experience as an in-house product photographer and retoucher a number of years ago.
I have some experience in shooting & editing cosmetics but not so much working one on one with the client and working out a good price point. I am happy to take on something new but I don’t want to undercharge myself and end up with more work than it’s worth. Pricing is one aspect that I need advice on here.
I was asked by an old headshot client of mine to do a campaign for a cosmetic brand she’s planning on launching later this year, so I am trying to be mindful that budget may be limited.
What is needed:
20 hi res campaign images with hired models
3-5 styled mages of individual product
1-2 whitebox of each product
2-3 reels lasting around ~1 minute
Can anyone give me advice on how to go about pricing here?
[edited to fix some formatting. Thanks!]

I downloaded bumble for the very first time a little less than a year ago. I was excited to actually try dating apps at first, since I never had. I had done online dating, but through the old school PC based apps like OK cupid, I got 2 long term relationships from those and was now trying bumble since it seemed that's where the people were.
I even liked the spin where women had to message first. As a man, her showing some effort is wonderful, I don't have to come up with my most witty opener, just to hear crickets. If she engages first, there must be something she likes about me. At first, this worked well. I got a few matches, and went on some dates, but within a few months, the matches started to degrade in quality and they became less frequent and the experience got stale. I don't know for sure, but I suspect your algorithm "got to know me" a little better, and decided I was only worthy of people I wasn't overly interested in.
I could tell your algorithm was struggling when the distances from my place started getting longer and longer for my matches. I live in a place of over 2 million people, so that's not the problem. But let me tell you something, I was getting notifications from my phone 3 or 4 times a day! I want desperately a long term relationship again.
I do well in relationships and when my phone would ding, I'd get excited, only to have it be an ad from YOU bumble, or some sort of weird pep talk that "Confidence is hot" or that "my boss wouldn't know about my profile?" What? Thanks but having been in several relationships and knowing women in real life, I really didn't need the pep talk that "confidence is hot" and I'm quite sure my boss doesn't give a shit what I do on bumble. So since I now equated notifications with nonsense from you. I stopped even checking, maybe I'd check a couple times a week instead of everyday like I was. I lost engagement and yes, I even lost matches, because it was easier to risk losing a match than get my hopes up over your harassing notifications.
Then I noticed something else, almost every profile had heavily filtered pictures, and very few of the pictures were of someplace local. Again, I live in a place of 2 million people...sort of strange that almost no one has a picture that looks like it was taken around here. Nope, apparently everyone is in Bali all the time. I can only assume that these profiles are to pad out your women numbers. I don't know how you're doing it, but I've seen the picture of heavily filtered Megan by the Eiffel tower at least 3 times now. It's getting old.
Because I wasn't engaged as much, I obviously got less dates. You can certainly blame me for that if you wish, but I think I'm the kind of man you want on your app. I'm not perfect. I mean, I'm divorced for one.......but I'm well educated and I think I have my house in order and I'm not out here just sending dick pics or trying to get laid. I put some thought into my messages and into my profile. I'm really looking for a woman to experience the world with!
Now with your rebrand....I have to say, I'm getting tired, I understand you need to build a user base of women and need to cater to that, but it is us men that are paying the bills, we're the ones buying spotlights, or super likes or whatever you're calling it these days, we're the ones shelling out hundreds of dollars in just a hope that we might go on a date with a woman that we can share the world with. The reality bumble, is that dates aren't happening anymore or at any frequency that justifies spending anything. I'm not on your app to swipe, I'm not on your app to spotlight, or like or even text with someone. I'm on your app because I want to go on dates.
Now let's go through the progression of how that happens on your app.
First I have to create a top notch profile; And because your gender ratio is 2 to 1 men to women, I better be in the top half because if not, there's not going to be any matches, just by simple math. If the ratio is 2 to 1 and every single woman matches with a DIFFERENT man, there's still 50% of men without a match.
THEN, I have to swipe, which....is a soul crushing activity on any app if you're actually looking for a long term relationship.
THEN I get a match! Oh boy!.............Then she has to respond in 24 hours. Hope she doesn't get sick or have a big work project or forget about me in her sea of matches and dick pics!
THEN she gets to send an "Opening move" AKA AI Generated nonsense.
THEN I Have to respond.....and again, it better be a top notch witty response. Like it has to be funny and interesting at the level of Anthony Bourdain Meets James Bond Meets Robin Williams meets Bob Ross levels!
THEN if she likes it, then and only then will I get a text, a text, not a date, a text from an actual woman, and its likely to be "Hey or something else low effort"
THEN we have to hope that continues long enough to appropriately share numbers or get an actual date arranged.
If this is the way you're going to run it bumble.........then I have to say, I'll just walk up to some woman at a bar. She might say no, we might find we're incompatible in the first 5 seconds, but at least a date or prelude to a date happened.
You're a dating app after all. If dates aren't happening or require that many hoops, that could get screwed by your algorithms at any time, than I, and I hope many other men like me get off your application yesterday, and I certainly hope they spend not one more dime until this subreddit's front page is filled with stories of GOOD MEN and GOOD WOMEN meeting from bumble. THAT is how you will make money, and THAT is how you will repair your significantly tarnished reputation among both men and women. Ladies, I can't imagine this is working for you either.
As an epilogue. I hired matchmaker............she wasn't cheap, but unlike you, she doesn't upsell me daily, she listens to me, she doesn't blow smoke about what is and isn't realistic, and more importantly, her matches are good and getting better, and dates are actually happening. That's more than I can say for you. It's a shame matchmaking isn't accessible to everyone, or you'd be out of business even faster. Reading this back.......it appears I was having an abusive relationship with Bumble that needs to stop.

I don’t want to invite my cousin and his wife to my graduation so much has happened in the past here that made me hate them and they obviously are just so fake. People are just gonna be a long story but just to give a background of why I don’t want to invite them last year in August my uncle is my cousins dad passed away, in a little while later, like less than a month later, my grandma passed away I thought that after the passing of his father, and then also my grandmother, that they would be more closer to us and treat us like family, but they are just stupid morons first we my family help them move into their house help them paint, takeoff the wallpaper‘s and do it and basically everything. Wow they didn’t have their “friends” to help them out at all yet when they decided to call people over to have dinner they did not invite us and we also knew those people to so it’s honestly so stupid. They have us do the hard work and then party with other people. What the fuck they did whatever after that they called us for cultural festival but honestly my parents didn’t like that they were celebrating too early because it hasn’t been 45 days since my grandma died but it’s been long enough since dad died and they said it’s celebrating all other people and they lied and said that they were only calling us, I feel like after that, they started to things behind our backs and started being big fat liars, especially my cousin his wife, already giving some looks at us whenever we go to their house and pretending to be busy. My cousin lies a lot now he’s also been the biggest liar of all. His wife freaking stayed in our house for like 2 weeks, twice because of the passing of her father-in-law and then my grandma and yet she treats us like shit it looks like she never wants to actually like make dinner whatever for us specifically because we’re re too much or whatever that’s why like five people even though now she’s pregnant with freaking twins soon gonna be a family of four and they eat way more than us anyways, there’s been quite a few instances where they had parties at their house with a lot of other people and then don’t even call us at least me and my siblings because we’re cousins like they didn’t call us for one of them. One time my mom and my brother went to her house and walked into a party that we were not invited to really embarrassing. What’s even more stupid is that my cousin’s wife didn’t even care to say that food in the kitchen it during lunch nor offer, no, she just gave apples lmfao. I am really mad at them all the stuff they’re doing and they’re not changing OK fine but I don’t want to be with them. I blocked both of their phone numbers. Now my parents are saying that I have to invite them to my graduation or else it’s gonna be an embarrassment to the family and we’re gonna look stupid. Even my siblings are saying that so I don’t know I don’t want to come to my graduation, especially since my cousin didn’t even come to my high school graduation, which is ultimately more significant since I’m just graduating from community college and transferring to a university this fall. I didn’t even feel like having a graduation this year. I just wanted to chill but after I got a notice that I got a very prestigious, recognition or or whatever you would call it now I have to go to the graduation for that and I would only be saying this and I want to invite them because of all the stuff the shit they did last year and this year. So am I being stupid 😭 Those people are just toxic!

Hi thanks to anyone who reads this.
Over a year ago my spouse and I were in the West Coast for a wedding photographer gig (our full time jobs). I regret doing this now (please don't judge me for saying this) but while I was there, I called 911 to report a suspected drunk driver because they were driving right under the speed limit in front of me and crossed over the yellows a few times, so I gave the dispatcher car details and my name and number and went on with my life, flew back home to the East Coast where we are based (we are used to flying all over the place regularly for our job). I was contacted a few days later as a follow up by the arresting officer to provide an e-mail statement where I gave them the same info I did over the phone. For months and months my husband and I had no idea what happened after this, if someone was arrested or not, if the driver was actually drunk, it just left our minds after that weekend.
(Subpoena 1): Until last November I received a certified mail subpoena from that state's court for a DUI criminal trial scheduled in Feb 2024 where I was mandated to be there as a key witness. I didn't even realize my 911 call would result in a subpoena, but after talking to my husband and a law school friend I learned I am not in trouble but I have to show up. We live almost 3000 miles away so paying out of pocket to travel was out of question, however after reaching out to the court they were willing to reimburse me for travel and lodging (nothing fancy just bare minimum stuff), and a really small daily allowance. I asked the liaison I could dial in with a video call, or can they just use my email statement they said no I have to be there in person. Even though I've forgotten much about that day let alone that specific 1 minute window of time I made the 911 call. I don't know how useful my recollections would be at this point.
The time of the trial in Feb overlapped with part of a 2 day wedding photography gig a client had booked a year in advance, and I was told that this was not a valid excuse to ignore a subpoena for a criminal trial. So despite money being tight I contacted this client and let them know that due to this legal obligation out of my control, I would need to forfeit our contract and they will need to find another photographer. Client was understanding and appreciative of the months in advance heads up, I still felt terrible.
(Subpoena 2) : Come January and guess what, I am notified that I do not have to show up to court on Feb because the trial was moved to May. I was pissed off because I have lost out on a nearly $7k package for a trial that got moved last minute. I received a separate subpoena for the May trial, I called court clerk to ask if I will have to attend and they say yes, and did not seem that concerned that I lost out on income as a result of this case dragging on. Many may know this but Apr-Sep are the most busy, popular times for wedding photography bookings and I knew that this meant that for the week of the May trial date I would have to block off my availability for bookings which is a shame because I had already gotten inquiries about that week which is a very popular week. I took the hit for the potential loss of income for that week. This time I did not have to cancel on a client though, so I was willing to do my civic duty and move on with this.
(Subpoena 3 - TBA) Well two weeks ago I received notice that the May trial has been cancelled for a "continuance" and the next trial date has tentatively been set for late-July. I have not received a subpoena for the July trial yet, but I saw this on the case details site online and that subpoenas have been sent out again to the same list of people including me. This July trial date has already been booked out to me for a multi-day wedding that would have brought in $10k+ in income for my family, and I am panicking at whether I should cancel on my clients now to give them time to find a new photographer, or I should bide my time in case this trial date ends up being moved too.
I feel like I am being punished for doing the "right thing" by calling 911 that day, now I regret this so much because I have had to put my own life on hold and lose income as a result. I don't know why there is a delay or why things are being dragged on either, I thought since this was more than a year ago everything would be over at this point.
Is this a normal thing that can happen for subpoena'd witnesses, and is there really nothing that we can do about it? Can I just retract my statement or say I don't remember anything anymore? I can't keep putting my own life and business on hold , cancelling on clients WEDDINGS last minute, and losing income and hurting my reputation by blocking off popular weeks for trial dates that keep being moved. I also don't want to sound entitled or aggressive to the courts, or get in trouble for being uncooperative, so I am not sure how to approach this.
Can I ask for additional compensation? Are there other ways I can answer my subpoena without having to be on standby to fly thousands of miles cross-country for the next few months?
Appreciate any help here thank you

Super long story short, he took my keys and my phone after a conversation about me leaving him. I went to the police. He lied and said that I hit him, that I smashed my phone and threw it out (spoiler: he smashed my phone and threw it out). He brought up my past (I used to cut myself when I was younger and still have scars). I told one female police officer that he was a narcissist.
The female officer immediately understood and later told me she dealt with the same thing with a baby my daughter's age. The police ended up siding with me and told me to grab our 9 month old and whatever I could. We're in a safe house now, far away. I'm numb but a little at peace. My baby is happy and sleeping. I'm able to turn on lights or fans or put my clothes on the floor without being snapped at about it.
It's going to be a long process but I'm out, have a new phone with a new number that the domestic abuse helpers literally bought me, and I'm not going back. Never. I miss our dogs and miss the good that sometimes came out of him. I'm lonely. All of my clothes are with him (he wouldn't cooperate with the officers after we left). I hated seeing him get yelled at by a sheriff when he got caught up in his lies. BUT I'm still not going back. Love you guys. I hope everyone here finds peace.

I recently had an extremely vivid memory of a game. It was on the ps2. I am 14 (as of 3 days ago) so I know it is not too far off from this time. In the start of the game you are spawned in as a character, when you begin the screen loads with a small correction of the camera, as it was slightly tilted to the left, and reforests it to the center. at the same time there was a small (≤ 0.5 seconds) fade in. You are spawned in with a key and are in a bare hallway made of wood. the graphic design and movement is doom-esque for here and for the rest of the following descriptions. At the end of the hallway there is a wall with a large lock symbol in the center. You have the option to either open the door or, you can walk up to it but not put it in. Walking up to the door and opening it will open a new, smaller room inside of the already small hallway. At the end of said room there is some sort of entity or being, extremely similar to the secret room in ‘granny’ just entirely bare, a tad bit longer, and the walls are the same tan wood color. On the contrary if you decide NOT to open the door but, instead turn around and explore more, you will be faced with a new door. (For explanation the hallway opens up a little right before the door, sort of like a box surrounding the door with the end of the new hallway up against the back of the ‘box’) it is on the left side (turned around) so right side of where you originally came from. it also has a lock insignia on it. you can unlock it which leads to you falling through the floorboards into a dirt-y, skirting of the ‘hallway’ which is now revealed to be a house or at the very least a building. there are floorboards everywhere and mounds of uneven terrain. immediately after falling the space widens up (it is now a large room with no walls). it has a low ceiling and you are instantaneously met with a new creature, this time living. it is blue, a blob like creature not unlike the blob from ‘Monsters Vs Aliens’. it is around the same height as you and it floats very shortly above the ground. it moves in a grid like pattern, following squares to move. each square is roughly the size of the creature. obviously, you will want to stay away from it. if you alert it of your prescience it will follow you and if it touches you then you will have to restart. it is unaware of your presence and is instead walking through an opening in the skirting. exploring more you will realize you must go through said opening as the skirting is a large rectangle with nothing in it. following the blob through the opening results in a new room. the new room has multiple layers and is very open, it is reminiscent of a barn, yet abandoned. there are a few more of the blob things (4-5?) and they are roaming on the different levels of the barn, 3 + the scaffolds flush with the roof. there are a few more openings and a staircase. here my memory gets splotchy. you somehow find your way outside and are met with a grassy hill. there is nothing out here apart from a small gathering of blue and other colored birds of whom are extremely friendly and nice. their eyes are open and look similar to the Pixar short, ‘birds’ except that they fly, in a group together. somehow you are led back into the barn/ new cave (this is where I believe the game to become your own personal experience and less so a description of the game). in the cave you are in it is rather cramped (at least vision wise). there are birds (not chill ones) and other beings following you to the back of the cave. once again MORE OR LESS following the same grid pattern. you run from them and weave in between large groups of entities. you eventually see a small amount of sunlight and an occasional wide eyed friendly bird amongst the numbers of other beings. you follow the path out and encounter the sunlight, grass, a multitude less bad entities and a multitude more wide eyed birds. You run up to the hill and you are safe with the birds flocking, sitting on the hill. You cannot go past the hill fyi. anyway that is where my memory draws a blank. I am almost certain this was a ps2 game as it was the only software available when I was a child that could run a game like this. that is all, PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN goodbye, and thanks in advance ADDITIONAL NOTES: the key was held like the gun in doom as well as the room appearing similar in terms of layout and overall look.

Hello everyone
Its been about two weeks since my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me out of the blue (Genuinely thought she was the love of my life. we managed to get through almost 4 full years of university together and not even the first day we both move back home she drops this bomb on me. Not getting into crazy details but I have a hunch she is now pursuing a guy in her group of friends, "guy friend group" that they go clubbing with etc...
My friends went out clubbing last weekend as they wanted me out of the house. Without being a downer, my boys have zero game with women. We sorta just sat there and watched while other dudes were hitting on girls that we were "about to approach."
Anyways, given my ex-girlfriend dropped me out of the blue and has multiple guy friends involved with her friend group, im in desperate need to move on and start chatting with other girls as my group of friends doesnt really have any single girls in it.
The weekend that we did go clubbing, I mustered the courage to ask one girl i found attractive for her name as she walked by. She did indeed gave me her name but just continued to walk by. I was happy i managed to even attempt to chat her up but I cant lie, the rejection hurt a bit. (i was the only guy in my group to talk to any women that night.)
My biggest insecurity is my height, and before you mention it, i know im not the shortest but i have had females tell me i would be "crazy hot" if i was taller. (im 5'9, about 5'10, when wearing shoes at the club.) For further context, i would say im a relatively attractive caucasian man. Ive been approached by the opposite gender numerous times when out (had a girlfriend during these times at university bars) Im 22, workout everyday, watch what i eat, have fairly good social skills and I do know that i will be confident talking to women in a little while as this break up is so recent.
I guess what im asking to both the men and women of this sub-reddit, is to what are the biggest factors i can adjust to improve my chances of getting a number or even getting laid?
This may sound like a bit of a sob story but I would genuinely love to hear any related info. (hoping there are some other men my height or shorter who could be going through a similar situation and this post will help them.)

throwaway account because she’s crazy I (26F) and my fiancé (27M) are getting married in under a month. To say our wedding planning has been less than ideal is quite the understatement. My soon to be MIL, let’s call her Barbra, has made the last year of my life a living hell. My fiancé, Derek, and I have been together for 3 years, engaged for just over one year. When Derek and I first started dating I had an incredible relationship with Barbra. We would hang out, run errands, have sleepovers.. we had a relationship most girls dream of having with their future MIL. That all changed when this pretty little ring slipped on my finger…
For some context, Barbra has an extremely volatile relationship with her ex husband (Derek’s dad) and his wife (Derek’s step mom). Their history stems back 20+ years and has been an ever present issue in Derek’s every day life. Barbra made it her mission for Derek to despise his father and step mother the way she did, totally unnecessary behavior.
Fast forward to this past year. Take a narcissistic future MIL and a people pleasing bride, then add a wedding and this is where you end up.
Around 8 months ago, my fiancé and I decided we wanted to have a backyard rehearsal dinner with food trucks, a bonfire, games- totally our style. We figured we didn’t need to big fancy dinners back to back. Derek’s dad’s house is a no-brainer perfect spot for something like this. Far back off of any road, tons of land, a pool. Not to mention; it’s his DAD’s house. Well when I brought this idea up to Barbra (we were 2.5 hours out of town for the weekend just me and her) she LOST. HER. SHIT. Screaming, crying, stomping her feet… It was like trying to communicate with a toddler who missed their nap. All because it was going to be at Derek’s dad’s house. Basically “everyone is going to think -stepmom- is the mother of the groom instead of me!” on and on, screaming history over 20 years old at me as a justification. I was extremely uncomfortable to say the least, considering I’d never seen this behavior from her. I cried myself to sleep every night that weekend, I felt pathetic and defeated. It went on like that all weekend little digs here and there. by the time I finally got home I broke down crying over how I was spoken to and treated. I mean the woman screamed in my face, as if I was her six-year-old child.
Between then and this past weekend, there has been little digs, constant attitude, and random spiteful acts that let met know she never let go of that weekend because I came home and told Derek, who in turn flipped out on her.
this past weekend was my bridal shower. I grew up about six hours away from where I currently live, which is Derek‘s hometown. Everyone including Barbara and Derek stepmom traveled to be at the shower. I knew it wouldn’t be good when I invited. Barbara and her response was “well I guess if stepmother is going I have to go don’t I?”
Not not only did she begin moving place settings away from stepmother’s table to the point where stepmother was left alone at a table, she told my maid of honor that the only reason my MOH felt the need to sit at my table was “to be the center of attention.” Completely disregarding that I specifically asked to sit with her and the rest of my bridesmaids, considering I don’t live near any of them anymore, and we never get to see each other. Then she tried to kick my aunt and cousin out of her table because it was “the mom table “, only stopped when my mom told her she was staying. She rolled her eyes at my gifts I opened from derek’s step mom. She was also dissing derek’s step mom to every person she spoke to, to the point where 10+ people came to me after the shower telling me how uncomfortable she made them. Derek’s step mom is the sweetest woman ever and she left the shower crying.
There were several other behaviors, but this post would be far too long (it already is). When Derek got home and called her out, she absolutely lost it. Now she is blowing up our phones, saying she is ashamed of Derek and I, and told Derek to “have fun with his new family.” So many nasty remarks a mother should never say to their son. She did her usual playing the victim, “how dare we”, and blaming her behavior on every other person. Zero accountability.
at this point, she has ruined every single event relating to my wedding that I’ve had. She hosted my bachelorette (ruined it by being mean to all of my friends, throwing a gift derek’s step mom made for her across the room in front of everyone while cursing about how stupid and ugly it was) , she came with me to pick up my wedding dress (insisted on getting the one she loved that i hated, told me she didn’t care for the one i got), and she shits all over any idea I present to her. Every time I call my parents. I’m crying over something new that she said to intentionally hurt me or disrupt our planning.
Would I be the asshole if I didn’t allow her to get ready on the bridal suite on the day of? I’m honestly scared for how she act in there now that she thinks “everyone is against her. “ I would prefer for her to not even come to the wedding at all but I’ll let Derek make that call.
Edit: I want to say that Derek has defended me in a way that has made me fall even more in love with him. He’s been stern and harsh, telling her exactly how it is without faltering. The issue is this goes right over her head. I’m feeling like this will only stop if it comes from me.

Here’s our situation: Wife is 49 and I am 48 Annual income is $600K We spend about $20-30K/month, but anticipate cutting this down to $15K/month in retirement (by cutting out house payment, HELOC, disability insurance, life insurance, country club, tuition, etc.)
NW is currently $3.5M.
Retirement is $1.5M Pre-tax, $250K Roth IRA, $340K crypto Roth IRA (Bitcoin) We are saving $23K in Pretax 401K + employer match of $46K/year and maxing out back-door Roth IRAs ($14K/year). Wife has an individual 401K (Roth or Traditional) that we could also contribute to, but have not yet
Primary home is worth $2.2M, we owe mortgage of $1.125M (2.85% APR until 2030, then adjusts to Prime + 2%) and HELOC of $235K @ 7.5%.
We have 3 rental properties worth a combined $2.2M, with equity of $650K. These are breaking even to slightly negative each month as short-term rentals.
$20K In Bitcoin taxable account.
2 kids, 17 and 15. Combined $246K in their 529’s, likely state college @25K/year.
We would like to retire in 5-10 years. Thinking of downsizing in 2030 (when kids are in college) and paying cash for new home. This would free up about $8K/month.
Aiming for a net worth of $8M, to produce a yearly income of $240K/year at 3% withdrawal rate.
1) Would it be best to sell everything ASAP and put everything in Vanguard index funds (VTSAX), or keep various investments and simplify later, once we reach our FI number?
2) Am I right to think Pretax is better than Roth, given our high marginal tax rate?
3) Crypto is currently 10% of net worth. Too much? If it takes off, it could shorten our path to Fi, but could also slow us down if it dumps…..

I've been dealing with a number of symptoms that resemble post-sepsis syndrome. In 2020 I had a severe case of cellulitis in my jaw due to dental implant infection. It took weeks to treat it because no one was able to diagnose it, or willing to treat it. I went to 3 dentists and 2 ER's, finally a holistic oral surgeon was able to help me.
This was the 3rd time in my life I had a severe infection. In 2007 I had cellulitis on my elbow where I had scratched myself to the bone (i had serious eczema). Also in 2005 I had developed necrotizing fasciitis in the other side of my face, beneath a root canal, which was a near fatal emergency.
Since 2020 I've had numerous symptoms with fatigue, musculoskeletal pain, dizziness and confusion, and many more. I was never able to take a break and rest after any of these infections. In 2020 I was already in a very stressful situation - I was moving out of an apartment that was releasing toxic fumes, dealing with family problems, housing, and financial issues.
A year after the infection I had a minor surgery that ended up becoming a major surgery, not infection related but took a major toll on me. 2 months after that I also had a very bad case of COVID. I didn't need hospitalization but I was very sick for 6 weeks.
I've never had sepsis, but with each of these infections they said it was extremely close and it's a miracle I survived.
I've been to several doctors regarding these problems and no one has been able to find anything. I've wondered if it is all due to major stress and post-infection issues. Would it make sense to see an infectious disease doctor at this point? My doctors are running out of ideas where to refer me.
Also, if you have these infections and never take a break to heal, can it add up over time? How necessary is a rest period? I'm unable to quit working, but also not really able to work much, about 50% of the time I am sick and keep losing jobs.

My aunt has DirecTV at her house. She recently moved into a nursing home. We're trying to get it canceled but they're saying they're getting stuck in a maze of prompts.
Is there an easier way to do this? Number to call? I don't think they have online access.

I (13M) have parents (52F, Mom 50M, Dad) who hound me about every little thing. They tell me exactly when I should take a shower, or brush my teeth, or do chores. They tell me exactly when I should go to bed, which is usually pretty early. Around 9:00 or so. I still go to bed early anyway, because I'm so exhausted, but it's not very nice to know I don't have the option to stay up later if I want to. They hound me about my grades, even if I am passing the class. They do a bunch of other things I can't list because of character limitations. And worst of all, trying to hangout with my friends. I dont know if this is normal, but they make me get my friends parents number to check if it's ok for me to come over. That makes me uncomfortable to get it, and probably them aswell asking for their parents phone number. However, I have 2 friends. They've been family friends for my whole life, and it's easy to contact them to hangout. But with others, it's hard. I already have a small social circle, and it's hard for me to make friends because of my bad reputation, mostly just being weird in the past and people still resent me for it, and my social anxiety. Making friends for me is rare, and my parents make it harder when they need my friend's parent's phone number to check if everything's ok. All this and they still wonder exactly why I don't want to spend time with them at all.
On the other hand, one could argue I'm just being ungrateful. When we had a talk, which kinda completely ruined my relationship with them, they talked about how they worked hard to give me clothes, food, a house, and stuff like that to live, but it just feels as if they're guilt tripping me. My parents always say they want me to be truthful, but I don't think I should have said anything. It completely ruined my relationship with them. I said I didn't want to be here anymore because they negatively impact my mental health by being too strict, I have to deal with it at school, and I come home and just deal with it more. My dad got really mad, he said stuff like: He didn't care if I hate him, he was being really aggressive, and just looked done with everything. I said I didn't want to be here, I'd rather be somewhere like the streets, and he said I wouldn't survive a week out there. I didn't reply back, but I was thinking about my indomitable human spirit. I don't care if I survive. I either succeed or die trying. I just want to be away from you. That's all I could think. He said I just have to turn 18 and be done with them, but I have to deal with them in the mean time. My mom said that she and my dad are still my parents, and can't just not care about what I do. She didn't really care about what I had to say.
I don't know if I'm just being ungrateful, but it genuinely negatively impacts my mental health that they're so strict. Everyone else has not strict parents, and then there's me. Well that's it.