This is a follow-up post to my previous post about my school informing me that a parent wrongfully accused me of sexual misconduct of a minor.
As advised by everyone on Reddit, and friends, I hired an attorney for 200 USD and sought legal consultation. The attorney informed me I do not have to talk to the police until I have an attorney to represent me in person and advised against doing otherwise.
Fast forward, the attorney contacted the school, the school says no police were coming to talk to me, but instead, the school talked to the police already on my behalf and I will not be talking to police, so I shouldn't worry. This is the opposite of what the director told me the previous day.
Anyway, the attorney recommended that I continue to go to work in the meantime since no police are going to talk to me, and this will avoid further complications for me. The attorney will follow up with me tomorrow about my situation.
This is my current situation...
Now, my school is asking me to no longer come to work at 9 am and greet the parents, but instead, come to work 30 minutes earlier, hide from the parents, not teach kindergarten anymore, and sit behind a computer on a different floor, alone, doing random administrative tasks.
This seems strange and almost illegal because the school is telling me to stay on the 2nd floor of the building and never to come downstairs to greet the kids, and it would be easy for me to simply walk downstairs and reveal myself. This does not make sense, and I don't understand how the school believes this is a long-term solution.
So, according to their instructions, I should work on an abandoned 2nd floor directly above the kindergarten students from 8:30 am to 4 pm, alone, while listening to the kids play and laugh directly below me downstairs, but never reveal myself to the students while they are attending school.
This seems extremely wrong, and could potentially make me look suspicious, which could lead to some legal trouble if the school decided to frame for something. It is on CCTV after all.
I will talk to the attorney tomorrow, but right now, they are not available because it is late. Until then, I would just like anyone's input on the matter.
I tried everything in my power to work things out with this school and I still have 10 months left. I can not do this for 10 more months. Originally, I was promised a release letter 2 weeks ago but my director doesn't want to give me a release letter because I contacted an attorney and it was wrong of me to tell anyone about my situation, according to her.
Also, I recorded my conversation with the director, and she lied multiple times about my contract. The audio of our conversation is very clear and easy to understand. The recording is 1 hour long and I'm not sure if this audio recording will be enough to get me out of the school.
Tomorrow is a holiday, but I don't plan to come to work anymore. I would like to know what could happen in terms of my living arrangements. I don't think they can kick me out of the apartment right away. Maybe they can.
I don't know what to do at this point. It seems like leaving the country is my only safe option.
This is my third school and I already did a visa run to even arrive at my current school, and it feels as though so much money and time was wasted to come back to Korea.
Thank you for any help.

I am 34 years old . Back story my child grew up in a family where me the mother has full custody of child and his dad has just visitations. I lived with my mom and stepdad because moving out didn't seem logical with my work schedule and my mom pushed to keep us there anyways. She did not want me moving in fact every time I got serious in a relationship she always pushed for my partner to move into her house also. Well My son is 7 now I met a great guy and he has a son in the next state over. We are a year into my relationship and my mother has done everything to ruin my relationship with him. Has sent me letters in the mail saying she's a past friend of his ex girlfriend and to get out of the relationship she has brainwashed my kid to state that his son is spoiled rotten and that my boyfriend is an "asshole" At this point my mom and I are not close whatsoever but my bf has decided that it is best that we just stay friends because my mother and my son have now made his life a living hell and he can't live with this anxiety anymore. We still talk daily on a friend level but my plan was to get a place in his state. I am close with his family and they have taken over the role of what family really means to me. Sadly my child is still going to school in the town my mother lives in till June. I am still in love with this guy and his son and I don't want to lose either one of them but my priority is my son. Hes had difficulty in school since Kindergarten he lashes out and has some anger management. I am on a waitlist for him to be seen by a therapist out in a town closer to where my plan is to live. Do I still move to the next state over and try to better my life and my Childs or do I just move on and keep dealing with the anxiety of being here with my mother. I tell her no and she does the opposite - he wants a cookie okay you can have a cookie I say no mind you my son is 7 and 130 lbs. She will go out of her way to give him the cookie he wants. Whether it's the next day when im not there or she whispers for him to go into the next room for him to get it. I don't have any control over my life or my sons life I feel like im fighting against life at this point. Please I would like to hear your input on both the relationship portion and the moving.

We are both in our mid 30s (me = F, friend = M) and have known each other since kindergarten (or even earlier, but I don’t remember). We’d spend a chunk of time at each others’ places, hang out during summer holidays until we grew up, moved to different cities for our respective careers, and lost touch, very naturally. (Life happens and all that. No hard feelings.)
I recently got back in touch with him after ages. He said he was coming to town and that we should catch up. I was excited to meet him after years apart. And when we did meet it was very spontaneous. Conversation flowed smoothly and easily as if we had spent no time apart at all.
He’s very active on dating sites, told me all about his dates, showed me his matches on a couple of different apps, and we joked around it a little until it was time for him to go.
After he left, we stayed more in touch compared to earlier and talked via calls/texts almost everyday. A couple of months after his initial visit, he was back in town for some more work. Same pattern. We met a bunch of times, talked about a lot of topics including his dates.
I’d had him over at my place a bunch of times for lunch or dinner on both his trips. The last time he came over, I was just hanging out on my bed scrolling through reels and TikTok videos. He came and lay next to me (no biggie, we had slept next to each other a bunch of times on his past visits). We are both single, so not like anyone’s cheating on anyone by sleeping in the same bed with a friend of the opposite gender. This time, however, in a very natural way, he placed his feet on top of mine and leaned in. I didn’t react. He didn’t move away, nor did he move closer. We lay like this for a little while, and I thought he may have been resting his feet by accident, so I moved my feet back. Few minutes passed, and he moved his feet and placed them on top of mine again, this time lightly tickling my feet with his toes but staring into his phone the whole time. Similar patterns repeated throughout his trip on different occasions. Leaning on my thighs, placing his head on my shoulder, lightly spanking me awake etc. He was never touchy feely over all these years and I’m never touchy feely as a rule. So it just seemed odd.
I never thought of any change in our dynamic. Was it just unintentional and am I reading too much into this?

The first time, he was on tinder only put pictures with his body showing (he is in great shape) he was on tinder for a year and a half and only met up with one person on the side of the road, at night, going on a run. It took a year for me to ever be intimate with him again. Just recently, these past three months I have finally felt content and I was hopeful for our marriage. I told him I forgive him fully and never loved him more. We have been through a lot of traumatic things together and asked to never hurt me again.
An old friend of mine messaged me a few days ago, with a tinder profile of my husband. This time 7 photos of him fighting and shirtless and in his underwear showing his face. She matched him and she asked about me, he unmatched her. I confronted him he said. That we do not have enough sex and he wanted more and he was only 30% sure he was going to follow through with it and was only on it 4 days before getting caught. He did not try to cheat on me when we had no sex for a year. Suddenly I start having sex with him again and he said it made him want more. I just had a major surgery 4 months ago for a rare compression. I also have more health issues and another medical procedure coming up.
We have a young child together who is very clingy. My husband works 46-50 hour weeks. But we have gotten a lot of financial help from my father’s money who died 3 weeks before my son was born. So he isn’t the only one that contributes to our household. He even had to take my car because he didn’t want to pay to fix his. But still I am grateful and praise him for his hard work. When he gets home, I have eveything taken care of, dinner made so he can just relax for an hour and then we have to get ready for bed. Our child is about to start kindergarten, I told him it will be easier to have some time together then. I also have taught our son to read, write, add, subtract, and he knows his multiplications already before even going to school. I put a lot of my energy into our child. I quit drinking and smoking when I found out I was pregnant and never touched it again. I understand what it’s like to have an itch. I just never acted on mine.
Unfortunately, our sex life is not the greatest. Mostly it consists of oral and hand jobs at most 5 times a week. They are short lived as my son will ask for me. I’m still scared of penetration since he gave me an sti last time that spread to my reproductive organs. But I have had it. I feel like he would cheat regardless, but I still feel at fault. We had a long talk where I got him to stop saying if we had more he would not of looked to cheat, that it was about variety that’s what it was about last time. He also thought if he scratched the itch and actually had a good experience sleeping with other people that he would be able to stop thinking about it. I told him it would do the opposite as when he cheated the last time he had issues getting hard with me.
I feel like an idiot typing this out. He’s a good father. I don’t think I can ever trust him again. Divorce is not an option for me. He now agrees with me and says he is happy he got caught now because he would have made things worse. I can’t help feeling that some of it is my fault though. That I am not giving enough. I asked how much he would need then to not cheat and he said “every day, I don’t know.” And he said it has to be vaginal sex. He can’t even give me straight answers. I don’t think he could have sex everyday with his work schedule and a girl on tinder, but who knows. I don’t know what I’m asking after. Just if anyone can decipher this mess and give me some sort of advice on how to come to terms with this situation.

Yo, dads. Not sure if I'm looking for advice, stories or just solidarity here. My wife and I are increasingly sure our 5.5-year-old has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and/or ADHD.
Basically, every action that needs to be completed has a high potential to turn into a struggle with our kid. For instance, exiting our car after all going to a playground yesterday became an ordeal - I won't leave a little kid alone in a hot car in our driveway in front of our house. Not a random hill I'm choosing to die on; it's something that cannot be allowed. Everyone's dealt with this, but it's damn near every time and any potentially anything that needs to be stopped/started can trigger an impasse - and specifically when my wife is in the mix. When it's just myself and my daughter, she's waaaay more reliable and civilized.
And it seems like this dynamic has turned into a real rut, especially on weekends. We also have twin one-year-olds, but my older daughter was like this prior to the babies being around. We'd hoped as she aged a bit, this propensity for completely obstinate behavior would decrease. It seemed to ebb for a while, but it's come back around to the point that we dread weekends where we're all together. And, look, we give plenty of praise when she does good things, especially unasked, so it's not just a bunch of "no!" Likewise, we explain why we want things done or not (it might break, it's unkind, we'll be late, etc.) so we're not just issuing a litany of commands for no reason. And we give her special time together with just us as parents individually.
Some of it may be just being ready for a change with school and activities, which is thankfully about to happen with summer, and some of it is definitely that she has a high sensitivity to being at all tired or hungry or sick, in that those factors really make her act like a psycho. But, fundamentally, she's always been wired to dig in her heels and...just press our buttons by whatever means she has available.
We're sorta at a loss here. We're starting to get the ball rolling again with some family counseling stuff (we had one shitty child psych about a year ago be like, "Of course she's messed up. She has new babies in the house."). My wife is a veteran kindergarten teacher, and I'm a former military officer, so we're not like n00b pushovers about having a backbone when needing to ensure we communicate a direction clearly and authoritatively. But, like, we hear from friends about how hard their kids are, and it's clear our daughter is simply a harder case. And with baby twins to also raise, we don't have the luxury of waiting out her resolve every single time. Some things just have to get done right then and how we say.
Of course, I can't communicate all the nuance here, but would appreciate hearing from dads who have been here, especially ones that got a clinical diagnosis. What's the journey like? What successes have you had? Our daughter has tons of friends and is well-loved by her teachers, but she seriously lets it all hang out at home, and it just ain't getting better yet.

My parents were immigrants from Poland to the US, and ever since I was born I used polish at home and english at school, and at work when i was old enough to work. From 1st to 8th grade i went a Saturday school that specialized in teaching polish to kids. I am in college now, and I still use it at home, and when I call my family living in poland over skype. Most of the polish I learned was through experience though. I don't really know if i knew polish or english first before going to kindergarten, i just assume i learned both at the same time. My english is better because I went to school 5 days a week where every subject was taught in english and I am able to talk about more very technical things.
Often i learned english in English and i learned polish in polish. I don't how to explain it, but if I had to explain many of the grammar rules, I would struggle, but I can still use good grammar because somehow I can feel where words should go in a sentence, and I can feel when a word is out of place in a word order, its like an instinct or something that tells me when something is right or off. I don't need to think about any rules and translate anything in my mind between the two languages, and I can speak super fast in both languages. A lot of how I say things are based off of feeling, not thinking
Another thing i want to note is that if I were to say a sentence in English or Polish and translate only the words and keep the same word order in to the opposite language, only then would I realize how wacky the opposite language's grammar sounds. Other than that both grammars sound normal.
Is there a specific term for the type of bilingual I am? To sum it up, I learned polish at home since birth, and english outside the house since birth.

My friend (24F) and I (F24) have been friends since kindergarten. She doesn't have many friends, and I might be her closest one. I've never met her friends, if she has any, and when we socialize, it's usually with my friends. She rarely talks about anyone, not even her classmates or colleagues, and if she does, it's usually to complain about them.
The issue is that my friends don't really like her. It's because she lacks some common knowledge but acts otherwise. For instance, she asked my boyfriend, who works in finance, if they have some kind of security. She asked another friend, who works in IT, if she works with computers and then talked about buying a pink phone just because it was pink. If it were just a few instances, it would tolerate that, but it happens every time she speaks.
She's overweight and claims she never drinks or smokes because she cares about her healthand she could not imagine drinking like us. We usually go for drinks once a month. So, I've decided not to bring her along with my friends anymore.
Another issue is her lifestyle. While I'm not a fitness guru, I do work out and have an active lifestyle. My friends and I go to festivals, sightsee, and hike, which she finds impossible due to her inability to walk long distances. We found about that out when she complained about not doing things together and feeling excluded. So we took her on a trip to a nearby castle involving a short walk 20 mins and stairs, she got tired after walk that took us 1 hour and didnt participate on stairs part.
I'm a recreational swimmer, and after she found out, she suggested we swim together. She persuaded me to go and told me that I should prepare because she is fats swimmer. However, she lied did twice less laps (I do not swim extra fast) and wanted to leave after just 20 minutes.
She also shames me for being skinny (I'm muscular but have enough body fat for an average woman). She claims I can eat whatever I want and fit into everything. When I mention watching what I eat due to my slow metabolism, she accuses me of lying because she saw me eat a whole steak and vegetables. Once, she even told my brother, who works out regularly and eats a lot, that he's too skinny.
What she doesn't realize is that she often sends me pictures of her eating cakes and trying random snacks "just once," then claims she barely eats anything and usually eats only in the evening after fasting all day.
The final straw for me was that she never wishes me anything good. When I got a great job with a nice salary, her response was why she is not getting even more. When I found money on the street, she said I'm always lucky and she is not. When a dog approached me instead of her, she said she likes dogs more than me. All I hear from her are complaints, and I'm honestly losing my sanity, so I stopped talking to her after she interrupted me for the tenth time in one week.
She uses phrases like "I needed to relax" or "I deserve more time off," but I don't know what stresses her out so much that she needs to reward herself every day. I mean she is very sensitive and I cannot tell her anything negative because she starts apologise for her behaviour and tells me she does not like confrontations.
I'm unable to help her with healthy lifestyle tips or anything else. She asks for help, I give advice, and then she does the opposite and complains about the consequences. It feels like I'm talking to a wall.
After cutting her off, she accused me of being fatphobic and a bad friend for not supporting her during her toughest times in life. She even told her father, who complained to my parents. Yes, we both come from a small vilage.
My mother advised me to talk to her because she does not have much friends and it would make peace with his father.
So Am I the AH if I cut her off, she is unstable has no friends probably, very lonely and I am unsure what she would do to herself after we will not in contact
Tldr: my ex friend requires to keep our friendship going even though I am burned out because of her constat jealousy and comments on my body.

TL:DR When to modify custody versus work with coparent. What is the bar set by the courts.

Fifth grade sibling hits kindergarten son hard. Other parent and their father yell at son. Other parent refers to son as not normal to sibling and has labelled them as neurodivergent and ADHD. Son requests to stay with me. Son is well liked at school, with peers, and is pleasant here.
I have been the primary caregiver for my son, who is now in Kindergarten. Up until September I had him the majority of the time and then we switched to 50/50 custody.
I want to advocate for a relationship with him and the other parent. He has a half-sister, who is 5.5 years older than him, and grandparents that all live in that same home.
He has reported his half sister hitting him. This has been escalating. Recently, she hit him multiple times in the body and face. He was clearly affected by this a day later when I saw him. However, there have been no bruises or marks.
His grandfather and the other parent yell at him. The other parent has told his sister, in front of him, that he's not normal.
Out of the blue, on two separate occasions, he brought to me papers that he had made, detailing a schedule visually where he would be with me most of the time, approximately 10 out of 11 days. He wanted us both to sign both of these pieces of paper.
The other parent has started to refer to him as neurodivergent and as having ADHD. They have said these things to him.
Recently, they took him to his pediatrician because he reported waking up from nightmares with pain all over his body. He has never reported such a thing to me and clearly doesn't have any unexplained pains. If he hurts himself, he lets me know.

I want to take a moment just to say that he is a normal kid. Well socialized. His teacher referred to him as a happy-go-lucky guy that is well liked by his classmates. He plays well at the playground and we generally go on one playdate per weekend day that I have him.
He's not defiant and is usually in a good mood.

I decided not to go to the pediatrician appointment because it seemed to be more of an emotional description than a physical one. He's recently been expressing his growing understanding of emotions and emotional states in these sorts of terms. I have been to all other doctor's appointments, all of which I scheduled myself, accept for once when the other parent took him to an urgent care for a scrape.
The other parent provided a recording of the appointment. In it my son acted out pains that he couldn't describe. It was somewhat disturbing. He seemed to be waiting for the other parent's response.
In retrospect I should have been there. When I asked him if he wanted me to be there he said yes. He's never acted as in the recording with me.
The pediatrician said they thought it was psychosomatic, but offered some referrals to rule out any physiological reason.

For some context, prior to the divorce the other parent accidentally started a fire in our apartment which required us to move out.
In the interim we lived with their parents. While we were there the conflict between the other parent and their parents became so intense the my son's grandfather threatened to kill everyone with his AR-15 and then kill himself, because he couldn't live like this. He walked upstairs to his bedroom, where the gun is located, while saying this.
My ex and I felt so threatened by this that we requested that the police take his gun away until we could move out, which they did.
My ex's mother has also, in the presence of the kids, gotten into such intense screaming bouts at my ex that she started to convulse.
All I know of what my son currently experiences is what he reports, screaming from the other parent and their father, and hitting from his sister.
I had a good relationship with his sister prior to the divorce, however, since I hadn't adopted her, I had no power to see her during and after the divorce. She has a good heart and is clearly expressing something in hitting her little brother.

My understanding is that the situation needs to be pretty severe with pretty clear evidence before a custody modification is likely to be granted.
I also understand that that sort of trial is most difficult on the kids.
My goal so far has been to walk lightly and hope that by minimizing conflict on my end, that we can have an okay 50/50 custody.
I don't want to initiate a modification because I want to be supportive of my ex's relationship with our son, as well as her family, I don't want to put our son through a trial, and I don't want to risk the opposite happening and a trial resulting the other parent having increase custody. I don't want to be seen as the trouble maker.
I have been keeping a meticulous journal and have collected what paperwork I can incase I need to use it.
This morning my son told me that he wants to stay with me all the time.

I’ve been bike commuting for about 1.5 years after moving closer to work. During that time, I’ve been using an e-bike (Aventon Level 2) and towing my kiddo and her things in a trailer to preschool during that time. Our commute to her school and then my work plus whatever after school activities we have means I’m traveling around 14-25 miles daily.
She’s getting older and going to kindergarten next year in the opposite direction, which means I’m no longer pulling a trailer and my daily commute will decrease to about 7-10 miles.
I’m interested in a bike that might be versatile enough for casual road rides on the weekend. My commute is mostly paved, with some loose gravel over asphalt and a short hilly gravel path where traction is sometimes tricky with my current bike. This is a moderately hilly area, but nothing too crazy.
Not sure if it matters, but I’m a 5’3” 125lb with good aerobic fitness. My budget is $3,000, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to find something suitable in the $1,500-2,500 range. I’m based in California, USA. I’ve been looking at Trek and Canyon, but open to other brands.

TW: potential creep?
I am currently in an all girls school and am half way through my GCSEs and have been having some problems in my maths class. The teacher, who I'll call Mr. A teaches me maths and has been for the past 2 years and has been showing some... questionable signs.
It started off when he first started teaching my class, where he would make jokes often which were lighthearted. However, I started to get some bad vibes from him when his jokes progressed into putting words in students' mouths, for example saying things like "XYZ said we should do (something) today!" which was nothing entirely bad, but it seriously annoyed everyone, especially when he continuously insisted XYZ had said something after being asked to stop.
This lead me to have some built up hate for Mr A, but I decided to take it out by making jokes which were slightly targeted towards him while having conversations. I get it was a dumb way of expressing that I didn't like him very much, but that's beside the point.
As the year progressed, the class began to warm up to Mr A, and so did he to us. His behaviour began to slowly increase in 'creepiness' but this was when I began to get properly freaked out. It was after school, and I had lost a monologue script that I needed for another subject (drama). As I was walking through the halls, Mr A stopped me and began talking to me. He asked what I was doing, and I replied saying I just needed to get a monologue. Obviously, that sparked his interest and he began to insist that I should stay after school and practise/perform my monologue to him in his class. Throughout the whole interaction, I hadn't said a single thing after telling him what I was doing. He just continuously said how I should meet after school to practise the monologue over and over again. It was extremely awkward for me, but thankfully, I managed to get away.
The next encounter was, again, after school while I was waiting to get picked up. He was walking out, when he saw me, and approached me to talk. He began to converse with me, but it turned into him asking me to meet him after school to practise maths with him. I said that I didn't want to, but he insisted and said he would talk to my parents about it if I didn't want to go. Unfortunately, at that specific moment, my mum turned up to pick me up. I began to run to my mum's car as I didn't want him to talk to her or myself, but he caught up and began talking to my mum. Mr A talked to my mum about how I was a great student and how staying after school for some private maths lessons would benefit me, and began asking my mum about me. During this whole situation, I began to get more and more upset, as I just wanted to leave, but my mum, being oblivious, continued talking to Mr A. Eventually he left, but as he was walking away, my mum asked if he wanted a ride. I immediately started saying 'No, no, no, no' over and over again to my mum but she wouldn't listen. Mr A began to approach again, and until he finally was up right next to me finally got the jist I wasn't comfortable. Luckily, he finally went away but that wasn't the end of it.
He then began asking me to stay in his class for maths lessons during my break and lunch, and wouldn't let me leave class until I accepted to go to his 'private lessons'. I managed to bring a friend though, but overall the atmosphere was very tense and weird. He would also use the same "XYZ said to do this" but "You said you would come to my private lesson on (a specific date)".
The most recent encounter was the one which really set off my concern-
Mr A was late to class so we had a cover teacher. When he came in, he asked who would have preferred to be taught by the cover teacher, to which I (and yes, i know, this was a dumb move) said yes. The class began to laugh, and he pouted but then gave out a worksheet to go through. Once everyone started working, he came and sat opposite me and asked why I said yes. I said 'I was just kidding' and he replied with 'I know.' and after a short moment he whispered under his breath 'I like it.' in an almost suggestive tone. I was honestly shocked and I just don't really know what to do.
I've heard from my classmates and friends that he's also been doing creepy things to them and I have no idea if I'm just paranoid or if he's actually creepy. The school most likely won't listen to me and other male teachers who were paedophiles were only fired after the very last straw. What can I do?

Hi, I'm hoping to go back to school in the fall with college math classes. So I'm going through algebra again with the help of Professor Leonard (absolutely amazing) and other online resources.
I'm really trying to understand the math/formulas I'm learning, rather than just memorizing the formulas which is what I did a decade ago learning math.
So, in standard form m = -a/b. Rather than just memorize that, I want to understand why which is where I'm struggling.
If I get two points from the standard form equation, and use m = y2 - y1/x2 -x1 I get the same slope as m =-a/b, so I know it has to be true that it -a/b works. The y2 - y1/x2 - x1 version I get. Rise/Run which is based on the difference between the two points' X and Y axis on the line.
So why is it that in standard form -a/b works? It feels like that's saying opposite run/rise? I realize in this form we are using the coefficients of x and y rather than a specific point's x and y values like in the other format so it must have to do with that.
Bonus question if you have time -- I was playing around with a simple equation from a worksheet: 2x + 4y = 5. I found that after getting the slope and a point from that equation, and putting that in point-slope format, and then going back to standard form, I got 1/2x + y = 5/4 as my standard form equation. Which equates to the same line as the original problem. I can then multiply both sides by 4 to make it be the exact same as the original equation. So my question is are both of those equations of the line equally "correct"? They are the exact same line. Couldn't we then have an infinite number of line equations as long as we were doing the same thing to both sides of the equation? The writer of the original equation I'm guessing just got rid of the fractions to make it an easier question?
Thank you very much for any insight you can provide!!

My mom is very mean and toxic. I, 18F, just finished school. Last year, I was preparing for a test to get into my dream college. But on the test day, I got overwhelmed and panicked, and hence fucked up the exam. I couldn't qualify by 80 marks and I cried a lot. My dad (48 M) comforted me, said I could try again next year, and he'd be there for me with whatever decision I made. I have decided to study again for the test next year and hopefully not fuck up again.
During this time, my mom (42F) also gave me advice on how to manage my time better and study well. She showed a lot of support. I was really surprised but felt thankful to have such supportive parents.
But that's not the issue. We have a maid who works for us, and she sometimes talks back to my mom and insults her. My mom puts up with it for her own reasons. She has OCD and wants the house to be spotless all the time. The maid used to make sure of it, but lately, she got tired of my mom's overbearing nature. She decided to stand up for herself and started neglecting some of the work, (Which is fine because why do you need to dust off the cobwebs every single day when they hadn’t even formed yet?! Or clean the 2nd floor of our house daily which literally no one uses and remains closed and clean most of the time - cleaning once a week, heck even once a month should suffice.) But my mom wouldn't listen. She started insulting our maid in every possible way, calling her names, saying she's poor, unworthy, and uneducated. She even wished bad things upon her, saying awful things directly to her face. For example, if the maid suggested cleaning something another day, my mom would say, "I hope you suffer your entire lifetime for making me 'suffer,' and that not even your family will help you out in your times of need."
She's always been short-tempered and mean for as long as I can remember. When I was in kindergarten, I would get zeros on small tests because she wouldn't teach me, and my dad was working in another city. When I showed her my grades, she would hit me. Yes, she would hit me, a 5-year-old, for not doing well in something she didn't teach me. And back then, I didn't have the ability to study on my own. She wouldn't let me go to birthday parties, sleepovers, or hang out with my friends, saying they were bad influences on me. She constantly doubts me and enquires if I have a boyfriend, and that if I do, she says I should break up with him. (Actually, I don't have one, but I don't think it's any of her business now that I'm 18, and she still does this.)
While I was preparing for my entrance test, she would often ask me to help around the house much more than usual. And when I would tell her to let me study she would call me lazy and that I don't want to help her, even saying that all this studying will get me nowhere as I am dumb anyway, (maybe she is right.) This made it hard for me to study for long periods and broke my momentum, making me lose confidence and hence lead to the panic attack on the day of the test, I think. She would also say terrible things to me all day, calling me a horrible daughter and saying she regrets having me and wishes for me to die, or for her to die herself. She talks about running away and never looking back at us, or even wanting to poison and kill me. She says many more hurtful things that I don't want to repeat here. Then, a few hours later, she acts like nothing happened and goes back to talking to me as if everything is normal. I, relieved that everything seems back to normal, let her do that, only to realize that it was never normal, and her anger kept building up. She has never apologized to me for any of the beatings or hurtful words, and I have never asked for one either.
We've had some good mom-daughter moments in the past, but I don't understand where I went wrong to make her hate me so much. During my exam prep, she would constantly curse me, saying I wouldn't qualify and that I would fail my exam. Now she mocks me by saying that this is what happens when you mistreat your mother. But I've never mistreated her. Even after all those beatings and insults, I would stay quiet and only speak up when it was too much to bear, and even then, I was defensive, never offensive.
I have a younger sister too, and she treats her the same way. She still beats us both up, even though I'm 18, for the smallest things. Despite that, I still try to protect her as much as I can. When I was little, we used to live in our old home, and I don't but I had done some mischief, and she threw a knife at me, and it scratched my ankle, and began to bleed a little. I remember I had to ge an injection for that later, to prevent any infections. It was nothing major, but imagine doing that to a 3-year-old? When I was in Elementary School, I had done something which pissed her off, so she threw a water bottle at me which had sharp edges, it hit my forehead and I got a little gash there. I still have that scar. Growing up, I've been really scared of dropping things like liquids or food, or anything that could make a mess. I mean terrified, like my knees go weak and my brain stops working whenever I spill anything, even if it's just water. I end up crying because whenever I spilled anything, my mom would hit me with heavy and painful objects, scratch my face, pull my hair tightly, and then make me clean the mess. I thought it was okay because where I live, parents hitting their kids to discipline them is very common. But when I asked my friends if their parents hit them, they would say, "Yeah, sometimes, like a slap or something when I don't listen to them and misbehave." And that was shocking to me, but I would also agree with them.
Once, I went to my friend's house after begging my mom to let me go. There, while eating, I accidentally knocked over a glass on my table, and the water spilled. I started to panic, constantly apologizing with tears in my eyes. Then my friend calmed me down and said, "Chill, dude, it's just water. It'll dry up in no time. And even if it was something else like milk, we could clean it up. It's not a big deal. Things spill every day." And that's when it dawned on me that what she was saying actually made sense. It was stupid to cry over something so small when it could be fixed so easily. But I've grown up thinking the exact opposite, and it was always a huge deal for me, still is.
My dad lives in another city for his work and only comes once a week or once in a fortnight. During that time, my mother is a bit relaxed, and so is my sister and I. But she also ends up arguing with him, calling him bad names, and treating him the same way she treats us. But my dad loves her a lot and puts up with her. My sister and I haven't told our dad about how she treats us because whenever she even scolds us or hits us a little in front of my dad, he gets angry and starts arguing with her. Then she blames me for causing a fight between them, saying I don’t want anyone to be happy. That's why we never tell our dad about it because we don’t want to be the reason for a rift in their relationship.
Lately, she's been saying that she can’t tolerate me and hates me too much to live with me. She threatens to tell my dad to take me away with him to his work city and live there. She says even my dad will soon realize that I’m such a piece of shit and will abandon me as well. She says nobody in this world will love me or care for me because of how I am. Just because I am inexpressive with my emotions doesn’t mean her words don’t hurt me. It’s heartbreaking to think that my own mother thinks this way of me.
I want to make things right and make her see that I’m not as bad as she thinks, but our relationship is too far gone for that to happen now. I still love her, and last night I had a dream that she up and left our family and ran away somewhere. I woke up with a racing heart and started crying. I don’t want that to happen, but I also can’t stand to live with her anymore. However, I still love her and want her to love me too. I don’t know where I went wrong. :((
Update: Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for your supportive comments and suggestions. I read through each and every one of them and the most common advice was for me to move away from her for some time to allow both of us some space and time for reflection.
Addressing a few queries: Regarding the maid situation, I've repeatedly urged my mom to replace her, but she's reluctant due to past experiences of going through multiple maids and none working up to the mark, this maid is efficient in her work and she prioritises a clean house over the maid's behaviour.
Someone here said that distance between my mom and I might make the hearts grow fonder. My mom and I have spent time apart for like a month or 2 when she goes to my grandmother’s house but her behaviour still remains unchanged towards me so I don’t think she’ll shower me with love even with an extended time gap.
And yes, my mom has endured a very rough childhood. She tells me about it sometimes. Her parents had sent her off to live with her grandparents over the holidays when she was just 6 or something but they never really took her back in. She went to school and completed her education in her grandparents’ town. While her grandparents were very nice and kind and loved her a lot, her Uncle was very abusive and would often hit her when she made even a little mistake. She would come back to her parents’ house in holidays and stuff and she would then witness the partial treatment of her parents. She says that the only person who truly loved her was her grandmother.
My mom has 4 siblings and all of them lived with her parents (my grandparents) while she was left at her grandparents’ house. She says she always felt left out in her own home and that even her siblings treated her indifferently. Even now, her siblings make plans to hangout without even including my mom. They only approach her when they need to get some work done with the help of my dad.
I empathise with her and understand that she is still carrying trauma from her childhood which is why she behaves the way she does. But I can’t help feeling sad and miserable - both for her and myself. She probably doesn’t even realise what she’s doing as this started to come natural to her because of her past experiences. Sometimes, even I start to act like my mother and yell mean things at my sister, which I then later realise and apologise. I am working on it.
I guess it’s just that she has had a tough past and she was married off at a pretty young age too. It’s a good thing my dad is a good man and took care of her but I think the distance between them (due to my dad’s job) didn’t help much either. She must feel lonely and frustrated. My dad’s parents passed away soon after my sister was born and shouldering all the familial responsibilities has made her weary and frustrated over the years and she’s not even old yet. And the drama with the maid adds fuel to the fire, which leads to her directing her pent-up anger at me and my sister.
In the post I made earlier, I was angry and wasn’t thinking right, but now that I think about it with a cool mind I’m starting to see a broader perspective. I understand the root causes of her behaviour and actions. I intend to discuss it with my dad eventually and maybe ask him to get her the help she needs later. I hope she gets better and so does my relationship with her.
To those saying my post is too long and they can’t read all of this, you don’t have to.

My mom is very mean and toxic. I, 18F, just finished school. Last year, I was preparing for a test to get into my dream college. But on the test day, I got overwhelmed and panicked, and hence fucked up the exam. I couldn't qualify by 80 marks and I cried a lot. My dad (48 M) comforted me, said I could try again next year, and he'd be there for me with whatever decision I made. I have decided to study again for the test next year and hopefully not fuck up again.
During this time, my mom (42F) also gave me advice on how to manage my time better and study well. She showed a lot of support. I was really surprised but felt thankful to have such supportive parents.
But that's not the main issue. We have a maid who works for us, and she sometimes talks back to my mom and insults her. My mom puts up with it for her own reasons. She has OCD and wants the house to be squeaky clean all the time. The maid used to make sure of it, but lately, she got tired of my mom's overbearing nature. She decided to stand up for herself and started neglecting some of the work, (Which is fine because why do you need to dust off the cobwebs every single day when they hadn’t even formed yet?! Or clean the 2nd floor of our house daily which literally no one uses and remains closed and clean most of the time - cleaning once a week, hence even once a month should suffice.) But my mom wouldn't listen. She started insulting our maid in every possible way, calling her names, saying she's poor, unworthy, and uneducated. She even wished bad things upon her, saying awful things directly to her face. For example, if the maid suggested cleaning something another day, my mom would say, "I hope you suffer your entire lifetime for making me 'suffer,' and that not even your family will help you out in your times of need."
She's always been short-tempered and mean for as long as I can remember. When I was in kindergarten, I would get zeros on small tests because she wouldn't teach me, and my dad was working in another city. When I showed her my grades, she would hit me. Yes, she would hit me, a 5-year-old, for not doing well in something she didn't teach me. And back then, I didn't have the ability to study on my own. She wouldn't let me go to birthday parties, sleepovers, or hang out with my friends, saying they were bad influences on me. She constantly doubts me and enquires if I have a boyfriend, and that if I do, she says I should break up with him. (Actually, I don't have one, but I don't think it's any of her business now that I'm 18, and she still does this.)
While I was preparing for my entrance test, she would often ask me to help around the house much more than usual. And when I would tell her to let me study she would call me lazy and that I don't want to help her, even saying that all this studying will get me nowhere as I am dumb anyway, (maybe she is right.) This made it hard for me to study for long periods and broke my momentum, making me lose confidence and hence lead to the panic attack on the day of the test, I think. She would also say terrible things to me all day, calling me a horrible daughter and saying she regrets having me and wishes for me to die, or for her to die herself. She talks about running away and never looking back at us, or even wanting to poison and kill me. She says many more hurtful things that I don't want to repeat here. Then, a few hours later, she acts like nothing happened and goes back to talking to me as if everything is normal. I, relieved that everything seems back to normal, let her do that, only to realize that it was never normal, and her anger kept building up. She has never apologized to me for any of the beatings or hurtful words, and I have never asked for one either.
We've had some good mom-daughter moments in the past, but I don't understand where I went wrong to make her hate me so much. During my exam prep, she would constantly curse me, saying I wouldn't qualify and that I would fail my exam. Now she mocks me by saying that this is what happens when you mistreat your mother. But I've never mistreated her. Even after all those beatings and insults, I would stay quiet and only speak up when it was too much to bear, and even then, I was defensive, never offensive.
I have a younger sister too, and she treats her the same way. She still beats us both up, even though I'm 18, for the smallest things. Despite that, I still try to protect her as much as I can. When I was , we used to live in our old home, and I don't but I had done some mischief, and she threw a knife at me, and it scratched my ankle, and began to bleed a little. I remember I had to ge an injection for that later, to prevent any infections. It was nothing major, but imagine doing that to a 3-year-old? When I was in Elementary School, I had done something which pissed her off, so she threw a water bottle at me which had sharp edges, it hit my forehead and I got a little gash there. I still have that scar. Growing up, I've been really scared of dropping things like liquids or food, or anything that could make a mess. I mean terrified, like my knees go weak and my brain stops working whenever I spill anything, even if it's just water. I end up crying because whenever I spilled anything, my mom would hit me with heavy and painful objects, scratch my face, pull my hair tightly, and then make me clean the mess. I thought it was okay because where I live, parents hitting their kids to discipline them is very common. But when I asked my friends if their parents hit them, they would say, "Yeah, sometimes, like a slap or something when I don't listen to them and misbehave." And that was shocking to me, but I would also agree with them.
Once, I went to my friend's house after begging my mom to let me go. There, while eating, I accidentally knocked over a glass on my table, and the water spilled. I started to panic, constantly apologizing with tears in my eyes. Then my friend calmed me down and said, "Chill, dude, it's just water. It'll dry up in no time. And even if it was something else like milk, we could clean it up. It's not a big deal. Things spill every day." And that's when it dawned on me that what she was saying actually made sense. It was stupid to cry over something so small when it could be fixed so easily. But I've grown up thinking the exact opposite, and it was always a huge deal for me, still is.
My dad lives in another city for his work and only comes once a week or once in a fortnight. During that time, my mother is a bit relaxed, and so is my sister and I. But she also ends up arguing with him, calling him bad names, and treating him the same way she treats us. But my dad loves her a lot and puts up with her. My sister and I haven't told our dad about how she treats us because whenever she even scolds us or hits us a little in front of my dad, he gets angry and starts arguing with her. Then she blames me for causing a fight between them, saying I don’t want anyone to be happy. That's why we never tell our dad about it because we don’t want to be the reason for a rift in their relationship.
Lately, she's been saying that she can’t tolerate me and hates me too much to live with me. She threatens to tell my dad to take me away with him to his work city and live there. She says even my dad will soon realize that I’m such a piece of shit and will abandon me as well. She says nobody in this world will love me or care for me because of how I am. Just because I am inexpressive with my emotions doesn’t mean her words don’t hurt me. It’s heartbreaking to think that my own mother thinks this way of me.
I want to make things right and make her see that I’m not as bad as she thinks, but our relationship is too far gone for that to happen now. I still love her, and last night I had a dream that she up and left our family and ran away somewhere. I woke up with a racing heart and started crying. I don’t want that to happen, but I also can’t stand to live with her anymore. However, I still love her and want her to love me too. I don’t know where I went wrong.

Good morning neighbors,
I'm writing here because I'm desperate for help and insight when its comes to my daughter. She is 6 and a kindergartener at CVG.
She has a diagnosed mood disorder and were currently undergoing an autism diagnosis. She has an iep. She is currently only allowed to go to school from 845am to 12pm. She is sent home once a week for bad behavior (hitting teachers, hitting students). The lights, the noise, the over stimulation triggers hwr to go non verbal, hide under Desks, hiss and growl like an animal and she'll begin to throw things or deliberately bother others.
Due to this behavior, her gen ed teacher struggles to maintain peace in the classroom. So, my daughter bounces from a para (whos working with 4th and 5th graders who evidently cuss at my child when she irritates them), the school counselor, the receptionist and the principal. I think they hand her a worksheet to scribble on. In 3 months, she has brought home one peice of school work. One of the staff told me, she's not learning here- she's just running around the school, not getting anything done (another issue she has is running out of the room).
I've asked the teachers, where do other kindergarteners go who are like this? Certainly there are kids similar or more challenging than her- where do they go?? I get silence. Nobody seems to know what to do with her.
They say the resource room isn't appropriate because the older kids are triggered by her and this could be dangerous for her.
So, I'm wondering if anybody reading this has been down my road before?
I'm a single mom, struggling to find the time and energy to fight for my child. I'm making enough to pay my bills and cover an emergency, but other than that- I cannot afford a private school. I do have state insurance though and it's pretty generous.
Also, as a side note- she does not have these episodes at home anymore. The last time she had one was about a year and a half ago when we were staying in an air bnb. I've taught her how to read and how to do basic addition and subtraction with an abacus. So, she is teachable and she can learn in the right environment, with the right person. As a side note, I do work from home and have set up a little "school" next to my desk. I've been teaching her an extra hour a day to try to make up for what the school ia shorting her.
Another side note, over the years she's had two psychiatrists, two behavioral coaches (mostly coaching me so I can help her) and completed the Emotional ABCs program. I've read several of the "best" books and read countless studies. She is not on medication although I'm at a breaking point and seriously considering it because I'm feeling that the risk now is overshadowed by the potential reward (she's able to integrate into society).
I know this a lot of text, so thank you if you made it this far! Very grateful for any info or wisdom you can pass along.

First of all I don't want to throw sh*t on the guy because he's a great content creator, great streamer and seems to be a nice guy. But I think what he's doing now after skill-based matchmaking (SBMM from now on) is introduced is really wrong. Especially because he's the face of PUBG even in the new classic Erangel movie.
I get that matchmaking in normals (without gaining any ranks) is pretty stupid and I'm not a fan of the idea. I went through this in COD how the matchmaking became stricter and stricter to the point where in a TDM or FFA for example you basically play against your clones. It's not just about your stats but it actually tracks your play style and many other factors. It feels artificial and horrible.
On the other hand I was never against some protective brackets for really new players or even for players who play with some disability (I've seen a disabled streamer who plays somehow with his mouth: NoHandsNoSchoki).
I also know Wacky is not a sweat and he wants to create fun streams with cursed load outs. Actually with his new account he seems to be playing only pistol games so he's not going out full on brand new players.
But I still think it can be very discouraging for new players if they are humiliated by a guy with pistols while they are trying their best with proper weapons.
To be fair I know Wacky won't be the only one who's doing it so the new players won't be in a better position even without him smurfing. But for example if many people cheat is it an excuse for you to start cheating too? I don't think so.
And also him being the part of the problem as an OG PUBG streamer, as someone who represents the game is very disappointing.
I think creating a smurf account so you have easier opponents and you can pull things on them you couldn't do against players on your level is not fair. It's not as bad as cheating but it's pretty close to it in my eyes.
Also with smurfing you won't bring back the matches we had before SBMM where you had noobs and good players too. You just basically put yourself into easy lobbies so it's like going to a kindergarten and calling out the kids for a fair and square boxing match. But it's by the rules, right? No low blows! It's still not okay.
And if people are doing so they actually go against the game gaining new players. And this game really needs some fresh, incoming players as in the western regions the game is at an all time low.
I think PUBG should make smurfing bannable. It shouldn't be too hard anyway to check if someone logs in from different accounts on the same PC. I don't think most of the smurfers go as far as spoofing to hide it. Maybe netcafés could be a problem but they could regulate that too if they had the willingness.
So anyway I think a famous streamer like him doing this is really not okay. People will try smurfing anyway sadly. So someone like him shouldn't encourage this behavior if he really cares about this game. Just because he doesn't like a stronger opposition and the ranked feeling of the game with matchmaking he shouldn't do this. He won't start cheating either I guess because he gets now tougher opponents. So smurfing is not okay either.
I won't be surprised if he shows up here and comes up with his point of view - which I mostly know. Let's see that. But I've seen this on COD too big streamers creating smurf accounts and playing out the system so they can drop nukes and put fancy gameplays on Youtube and the community didn't like it there either. With a reason.
If you are against matchmaking you still shouldn't ruin new players experience because you wish to play pistol games or just simply easier games. You don't have the right even if you are big streamer. It's not an excuse you want to entertain your viewers. It's not fair doing so on new players expense. And it's not a good example you represent.
EDIT: People saying there is no matchmaking you should read this: https://pubg.com/en/news/7174 And also watch this stream around 2h10m when Wacky tests if players get into different lobbies even tho joining the same time, and the answer is yes: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2127348419 Player count is not an issue either as the game will be filled with bots if there is not enough player for your skill level. That's why Wacky stopped early morning streams because he got bot lobbies because of the matchmaking.
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So, I have been not tested at all yet. I suspect my kid is on the spectrum, so I have been reading and learning about autism for a year. I have also discovered it is highly genetics. I first thought, yeah that cannot be me, I am “normal”. And then, the sudden realisation: am I though? (Sorry, dont intend to offend anyone, with these labels) Whenever I read and looked at adhd in kids symptoms, many of them didnt apply to me, hence I didnt consider I have it. However, I remember until today that I had nightmares from the kindergarten that I will misbehave and I have to stand in the corner. I dont remember me being a running around kid with full of energy. On the other hand, i do struggled always with attention. If something was not interesting for me, I could not pay attention at all. Every year in school I slacked around during the year (so I tought) and in the last few weeks before getting the grades, I tried to fix my grades with extra project etc. Or before big math tests, I did not pay attention for weeks, but a day before the test I asked my friend to explain everything to me so I could write the test. As I got older, it became harder and harder to pick up and learn everything a night before. The first Uni I went was not the best Uni, i had barely paid attention there and I still managed. I failed a few exams but with my hyperfocus again, i did it. But I hated the subject, never wanted to do anything with it, but I had to finish it, if I started. I had one subject that I found interesting and that was accounting. I then moved to a different country and I started to study accounting and I got also my first job as an accountant. I passed every exams with the first try. But back then I started to notice whenever I have an exam i freeze in other aspect of my life. For example we were moving, but I could not pack any boxes until I am done with my exams, but I would spend hours on my phone scrolling on SM with no purpose. I would hate myself while I was doing it, that why i am wasting time, why am I not studying instead? It felt like I am self sabotaging. Then decided to again to move to another country where I got a job again as an accountant but it was super boring job. I wanted to get another accounting qualification that I can do remote. And here i was: having basically all the time at work, to even study, but I could not focus. I was so depressed that my job is boring so i failed all my exams. Which has not happened before with my accounting journey. Once I had the first failed exams i went into this “I dont care if i fail mode” but in the meantime i could not give up, or take a break. I changed jobs finally. This job is the opposite, i have 10000000 things and project and meetings that is crazy to manage. I have days when I am managing everything and I love my jobs and I have days when I feel like I cant take anymore. (Today is that day) so after i took this job, i still kept failing my exams because it was too much for me. I then went on maternity leave and I remember the first time of my life I felt quite in my head. I was content. Until for a few months when the thoughts of i am not making the most of it, i need to finally get back to my studies came back. So i started again studying staying up until 2 am ( i can only study at night) and I finally passed my exams. I went back to work, i even got promoted. I have started to write my thesis that I handed in few days ago. But the past few months have been crazy. My whole family suffered. I have put on hold everything at home. I could barely do the laundry, i barely cooked, i was scrolling again on my phone instead of being with my kid, or writing my paper. I had this plan that I will finish the paper a month before. I of course finished it 1 day before the deadline. As always. I have slept for weeks only 4-5hours at night. In the meantime I had to mask at work that everything is under control. I finished with my paper but feel guilty instead of accomplishment and anxiety that what if I failed.
I work 4 days at home and 1 day in the office. Today I was in the office and i felt extremely overstimulated. I had a meeting with my boss and he asked me a question, something that I was not prepared. I usually manage. Today I broke down, i almost cried. I got home and my head is exploding. I feel like I forgot english. Just to write this I had to put so much effort and I see its awful. (I wrote my research paper in english) I am constantly tired but I can not sleep. I know my body needs rest but I am thinking to start preparing for a new exams, because I am just not enough. And lastly, i realized this much anxiety and feeling a fraud instead of proud of myself is not normal. But if I indeed have adhd, you google it, being an accountant is the worst profession with adhd. I have been killing myself for a profession that is not even for me? Im also scared to go to a doctor and be rejected by “you are just stressed and tired.” Is it in my head or people here can actually relate to what I am writing. Many symptoms I read here I can relate: i interrupt people and love to tell my stories, but I am extremely cautious how the others will react, so I adjust myself. I thrive when there is a structure but it has to still stimulate me. As soon as I am fall out of the routine it is downhill for me. My friend groups are so different that I could not imagine them in the same room. Is this the combination of audhd? Or is this just in my head? I dont expect a diagnosis of course but some personal experience that you can relate to my story and I am not making this up in my head.

I (31F) and my boyfriend (32M) met each other exactly two years ago. I was in another relationship that by then had gone on for 12 years, not living together, and my marriage proposals or proposals for living together or someday having children were always shut down with "it might be cool", "not now", "I don't have the money", and "seriously, again?" He was my first boyfriend and first sexual experience. Around 5 years ago, I had ambivalence in breaking up with him or not since when I mentioned marriage on a park bench, it was met with a "I never thought about getting married." I bawled in public out of embarrassment and my ex crossed his arms and looked the other way until I stopped.
We had many other incompatibilities and once I started becoming more authentic to my values and hobbies thanks to intensive psychotherapy, my ex began to lash out and try to control me, put me down, threaten to cheat on me and once I decided to break up, began stalking me at my house and cellphone and threatening he would go "wherever you go, I want answers now." I told him everything that was going wrong with the relationship and my personal growth, secrets, etc. so I have no regrets and he knows everything - it just wasn't enough.
During that period of self-exploration and psychotherapy, I started venturing more into stand-up comedy. It was liberating, exciting, fun, and creative. I felt -well, badass. Funny, like my voice mattered, happy. I grew up as a terribly shy, quiet girl and young woman and always submissive to my parent's orders to be a "good" girl, obedient, top in the class, always pushing aside my needs for the sake of the family's dysfunction.
As for the stand-up circuit, yes, it's an all guy-circuit where I live and they dampen it with their misogyny ("tell more sex jokes", "do this", "do that", "you should put on makeup and show your tits", "you need to cater to women"), but I ignored it and would cry after sets alone because my ex didn't support me and ridiculed me about it. I made a friend there, who is now my current boyfriend. We made each other laugh all the time, talked about the world. We even spent a night on the roof top cracking each other up. He's seen me do well on stage and even bomb/fail. It's all good.
Our first date happened around a month after I broke up with my ex. It was INCREDIBLE. We talked all night and got intimate later on. I was so happy having him in my arms, and we couldn't wait for our next date. That entire month I dated other guys and tried to become intimate (I was rejected), but it didn't feel that bad. I just kept thinking in my boyfriend. I wanted to date HIM. He was gentle with me when I told him I had never had sex with anyone else. We spent hours together doing it, I felt like in heaven. We made fun dates and he listened to me, we'd make each other laugh, talk about our dreams and fantasies. He was the funny, charming, assertive, goofy, sexy, proactive, smart outspoken, brave man I wrote about since I was a teen, or I'd see in movies and shows. The sex we had was the best I've had and I kept craving it. He's naughty, he whispers nasty stuff in my ears, has good rhythm.
My boyfriend has had WAY more sexual and relationship experience than me. Has had about 4 girlfriends, plenty of flings and a 30+ body count. He says he used to live a crazy life filled with alcohol, cigars and spending money. He'd fall in depression because a lot of these women would tell him he wasn't significant other material, just "a short, good time". Now he wants to settle down, be at home and become a businessman. He's admitted that what gets his "fire going" is me admiring him and he's afraid I'll believe he's a loser because his business plans won't flourish. He comes from a family of successful business people and I think it eats his self-esteem that many of his ventures don't flourish, usually because he gets dejected that he doesn't see process or that the demands of his project partners to "step it up" makes them back off due to him pressuring them. Then he'll change to another business plan. I support him financially and try to go to his events as much as possible, and avoid the mistake my ex did with me and ask him ASAP how it all went when I can't go. I spoke to him about the unhealthy pattern of changing his mind quickly and not sticking to things, because I think if he improved in this, his plans would progress. But it's not enough, he feels like a failure despite my assurance he's not!
I've had only two sexual and romantic experiences (ex and him) and only kissed two other guys with light sexual touch. My life before was boring, predictable, following a straight path in studies, following family orders, dressed modestly, quiet. I haven't done stand-up comedy since I become a girlfriend, although I do study it a lot (nerd), go to shows when I can, watch specials, discuss comedy with comedians online and in person, listen to my boyfriend's routines and help out where I think the writing or acting-out could be tighter.I record comedians for their feedback. I get pressured a lot by him and others to do it again, but something holds me back. My BF says I'd be the best, but anxiety fills me up. I'll do comedic improv or creative writing and knock it out of the park. It makes me cry sometimes. And my boyfriend began to like me more than a friend when he would see me on stage.
Our sex life dwindled shortly after we became official. Around every 3 - 4 weeks, without my initiative. I started hanging out in his apartment more, doing domestic duties, he begged me to adopt his dog. He started to become more conflictive with me. Things I would do he would take as rejection, or that I didn't want him. I told him "I love you" first after 3 weeks of dating and he panicked, and held me close.
He has a conflictive personality and has fall-outs with everyone - he comes from a family where conflict, shouting matches and physical violence was common. I'm the opposite - very open to anything, passive, "chill". He tells me I'm his remedy to calm down and I've helped him not fight with people. I have the bad trait of holding my feelings until I explode into tears, but I've learned with him to express things and be less afraid of conflict. I learned that holding it in damages our relationship, and what I feel is valid. He actually becomes calm and listens to me, and tells me when I am quiet...he gets so filled with anxiety that he feels he is going crazy!
He'll do a lot of sweet things for me like cook me meals, clean up more, pick me up from work, tell me how beautiful, special, kind, charming, good with kids I am. Then he says "you better love me after all I do for you!"
He loves to push forward, I think about my actions more. He's helped me buy a car, move out with him (first time living without my parents, that was another tough transition for me) and get a credit card. I regret nothing, I love living independent and knowing I can make it on my own!
I get criticisms from him. Why do I not fill my potential? He tells me I am funny - be the best female comedian. I write creative stories - become a successful writer. He tells me I am charming - be a salesperson or entrepreneur like he wants to be. We spent a month fighting because I didn't want to do online content or sell my professional services. He told me if he had what I had, he'd do SO much more and would make MONEY. He nods his head, and tells me that one thing is a political campaign, and another when government reigns. I ask what does he mean, and he says "Well, now we really know each other." I feel I disappoint him, like maybe I'm not who he hoped I was...
A bit afterwards, my job contract is over and I am unemployed. I feel horrible and don't want to disappoint him, and for the first time in my life, I try to sell my services! I did whatever I could to make ends meet - babysit, clean apartments, services from my profession (I was rejected, or I rejected bad offers). One of my gigs didn't go well because I am not versed in red flags, and it went horrible. I was exploited for the day with no pay and was called to do the gig with no more prior info and last minute call. I felt humiliated and now know the red flags - I didn't want to tell my boyfriend because he would blow up. I lied and said things went great, he reads my face and says "I know you're lying, tell me NOW!" I do, and he locks us in the car and demands I call my boss and demand respect and money or I can't get out. Once I finish the call, he calls me a little girl, opens the car after I call and shuts the door in my face. I spend all night crying and go to my second gig at night. I tell myself, I tried something new and now have confidence that if ever I become unemployed again, I know about red flags and I do have something to offer and someone is willing to pay for it. He later apologizes and says that he's looking out for me.
But the sex just keeps becoming sparse. At first, he was a stressed about work. Then he had a health anxiety episode and kept apologizing to me that we weren't intimate because of his fault. We decided I'd get an IUD for no worries about pregnancy, and still the sex wouldn't come. Then he said he was tired all the time because of work. Then he said he gained weight and he felt like an ugly whale. I still want him. I touch him sensually, he brushes my hand. Apparently, I have a habit of brushing my tongue on his lips when I'm horny. He pushes me away and says "Bad time" or "not now". I've stopped brushing my tongue all together and once or twice I did it just to annoy him on purpose. One night I tried to have a sensual night and dressed in lingerie and lit up candles and waited for him on our bed. He comes into the house, looks at me and says "You're controlling me," and turns around. I cry in humiliation and blow the candles out. We talk all night about our sex life and he tells me "I don't know, I just always had low libido. And I don't want us to break up, I love you, maybe we are incompatible?" We then have sex, but it feels like duty sex. It's quick. He gets out of bed and watches the news on his cellphone. He really likes to be on TikTok and debate online. I am still roused and masturbate alone. He sees me. He keeps watching the news.
Needless to say, I threw out all my lingerie in rage in private. I have higher libido than him. He's called me nympho and that if I could, I'd do it everyday (yes). He's ok with our sex life (sparse). We agreed at least once a week. Never happened. He took vitamins for his libido for a week. No changes. He mopes about his weight. I still want him. I do. Once I probed to learn about his sexual fantasies. He tells me that's gross. I know he likes to tie women up. I ask him, let's try that? "No." And my sexual fantasies "You're weird." I live in anxiety not knowing when the next sexpisode will come up, and the last few months have been initiated by him, they are quick and he wants me on top to do all the work. No oral despite me shaving like he requests. I've never had an orgasm with him because I take too long in "oral"...He bought me a vibrator on our first Christmas, and I tell him I know how to orgasm. I orgasm by oral. We never use it, I tried using it alone but never got off. When he's deep asleep, I used to masturbate next to him and learned to use my hands because he showed me with his fingers - it felt so wonderful. I orgasm and lay on his chest while he snoozes away...
Not to mention I feel like my old,boring, goody-goody self. He says he likes that about me - I'm kind to everyone, try to see the best in everyone. I'm a kindergarten teacher, don't spend much, diligent with housework, try to keep my good looks. I don't write or perform anymore. I don't have sex. We're going on 3 months of nothing, not even making out. He kissed me one day with his tongue in me because we wanted to recreate the Spiderman scene. I get closer to continue, he looks away and starts talking about the news.
Health conditions? He has health anxiety so we've been to the clinic plenty! He's overweight, on a diet and starting to go to the gym. I accompany him. We talked about testosterone, he feels embarrassed about telling about his "problem". Maybe it isn't? He masturbates, I saw that Pornhub is his frequently visited website, he told me he likes MILFs.
I feel so rejected and defeated. I've told him everything. He'll coddle me, do nice things for me. Sometimes it feels fatherly. But I know I am good on my own two feet, I've told him. I am 100% sure.
Sometimes I want to cheat and that he finds out and suddenly he wants me like never before. And that he'll come back to me.
TL;DR: 1.5 year relationship have sex once every 2 months and both partners fight insecurities, hoping the other admires them for who they are!

TRIGGER WARNING
My kindergarten was se***** assaulted by another kindergarten and I know this seems wild but the graphic details of what my child told me is extremely concerning and I have concerns for the other child. I reported it to the school, the police, had a pediatric SA nurse from the Ed involved at the hospital I work at as well. The school has brushed this issue off. When I called for an update on the situation they said “oh we’ve handled it” within 1 day of being notified. They didn’t contact police, dcfs nothing. Didn’t speak with my child, us nothing. I lost it and called demanded the principal call me (she had not reached out to me when I requested her to!) When she found out I reported it the police they then called to report it. Her teacher then reached out to me saying “I forgot to call you and you didn’t remind me to call you to follow up” like excuse me I informed you Friday and it’s now Tuesday. Then the principal finally called me Said “we have no concerns about the other child these things happen. I thought the teacher handed it well. I can assure you there’s multiple adults in the class room if it had actually happened we would have seen it”. I am livid and done with this school. I don’t even feel like my child is safe at this school. My 6 yr old daughter has now repeatedly said “I’m scared” and shuts down which is polar opposite of how my child acts. My child is very very talkative outgoing child who never stops talking. Any legal action I can take against them? Thank you if you read this far.

I've been warned multiple times about hypoglycemic episodes causing a patient to have 'in-human strength'. I've seen one low BG besides myself and he acted like a sack of potatoes, as do I. A very sweaty bag of potatoes. I fear and also can't wait for the day I get body slammed by a diabetic comrade. I also had to stand up during class and explain how I take care of myself like show and tell day in kindergarten. And then I had to show them that finger pricks aren't 'scary' and expose my 300+ blood sugar to a terrified audience. BG runs high on Dunkin. EMT's are not certified in administering glucagon, IM or nasal. Luckily in my area we have a good system where diabetic emergencies will most likely have a paramedic on scene (Paramedics can administer IV D10, sugar water pretty much). THE D10 IF ADMINISTERED TOO QUICKLY WILL EAT YOUR MUSCLE TISSUE. The paramedic who told me this mid-treatment had a little smirk on his face when I turned pale. Nightmare fuel. On the opposite side of things I which with an unrelated patient and I witnessed a patient going through DKA. It stuck with me for a while. A lot of sweating and dry heaving. It's an imagine that probably will never go away and I just stayed quiet for the rest of the day. Hope that dude is ok now. We also only can treat for BG's under 60. And for those who are fortunate not to know, ambulances carry the nastiest oral glucose. Mine carries orange flavored. Is anyone also in the medical field in comes in contact with diabetics out in the wild? Anyone share any similar experiences?

Hello, so I have question on when to start homeschool and best way to socialize a 3yr old.
Here is my back story; my hubby and I have been thinking we will homeschool when kiddo starts kindergarten and before that we were thinking of him going to an actual preschool for 2 years prior to help with socializing. We both work full time, but opposite shifts so it is possible to not go the preschool route and that would be a little more financially lucrative, but I don’t want to deprive him of proper socialization. I have tried non competitive toddler sports with them, but my kiddo seems defiant when it comes to stretching with his team and/or follow directions. I don’t belong to Facebook so I don’t have a way to connect with moms or homeschooling groups near me. I take them to parks, play dates, and other social outings, but not sure if this enough or if preschool would really help with socializing.
Has anyone done preschool first, then homeschooling and what are your thoughts on it?
And for those who strictly homeschooled from the start, what are your tips and tricks for good socializing?