Bowmaking for flips flops
I (20NB) was cheated on by my partner (22NB) is it worth trying to fix this or should I let it go?
2024.05.15 07:10 PowerUserAlt I (20NB) was cheated on by my partner (22NB) is it worth trying to fix this or should I let it go?
I (20nb) begged my partner (22nb) not to go to a recent furry convention, which they had heard about from an ex-friend. There were a lot of reasons for this. Some of them valid, some of them not. They constantly refused and told me they were their own person and couldn’t be told what to do. It must be added, they had been to conventions before (not this one) and I have never been to one in my life Eventually I gave in, but asked for some boundaries:
1) the con was on the opposite side of the country, so I asked for Life365 so I would know they hadn’t been abducted or harmed, and so I could watch where they were. They said yes, then no, then yes. But by the time they gave in again, I said no. Since I believed it would cause more problems.
2) avoid drugs and alcohol. I thought this was fair, since the only people they knew were from the internet. They refused, because they “would not be able to relax and have fun.”
3) tell me who they were rooming with. They did agree to this, but they only told me one of them, and this person is important later.
4) keep in regular contact. We normally did this anyways, but I wanted to continue for sure while they were gone. They said they’d try their best.
Now it should be mentioned, before they were made aware of this con, I suffered a concussion. Additionally, I have had money troubles, medicine problems, finals for college, and terrible sleep. To put it simply I have been exhausted and not in my right mind for the whole month of April. They haven’t been well either but it’s not my place to say why.
In any case, after weeks of stress and arguing, they parked their car at my house and I drove them to the airport. Eventually they got to the con, but I barely heard from them. I tried to reach out but received little to no response. Then, I opened twitter and was shown a video by their roommate, where for only a few seconds my partner was visible in a crop top.
This normally would not bother me but something in my brain snapped and I panicked and spam texted them that I wasn’t okay with any of this and they needed to stay in contact with me because we had agreed on it, and other paranoid things. I know this wasn’t the right response, but in the moment I was afraid and upset and jealous.
They texted me a couple hours later how it wasn’t okay and how they felt so awful they had to leave the room they were in to cry.
The next morning (unbeknownst to me) they cheated on me with two of their roommates. All I know is it didn’t get far, but they did kiss and my partner told them to stop after five minutes. After this, they texted me that we needed to have a serious conversation about my paranoia when they got back. At some point, they threw away their “engagement” bracelet
This was my wake up call, and so I dialed way back, and tried to stop prodding. I was friendly, but largely non-invasive. They sent me a picture with their roommates, saying the two were in a closed relationship and wouldn’t try anything.
The rest of the weekend went on, and I picked them up on Monday. They were flighty on the ride home, and when we got to my parents house they finally told me. I tried to be supportive and understanding, since I’d been led to believe it was a mistake, but I kept having emotional and mental breakdowns.
For the next two days they stayed here and I tried to help them. They said they did love me, but they didn’t know what they felt or wanted anymore. This hurt really bad. They were clearly unwell, any unrequested touch or question about the future would cause them to freak out. They would push me away and yell at me. I wanted them to go to a crisis center or the psych ward, and they flip flopped on this. Eventually I snapped and a shouting match ensued.
The important parts are: I no longer trust them, they are afraid of me and don’t know what to believe.
On their last day here, I tried to take them to the crisis center, but after an argument they demanded to go home, then to the crisis center. I drove them to the crisis center but they left. When we got back to my house the situation became real as we realized this was the end. We endured another shouting match. As they left, they told me I ruined sex for them, and that they seamlessly fell asleep in the other people’s arms. (They’ve always had a problem sleeping in mine.) and this made me sob.
They texted me a while ago to apologize for what they said, but I don’t know what to say or feel. I’m just hurt and exhausted and betrayed. I still love them, I want this to work, or at least I want to try one more time. I don’t want a bad month to end a good year.
submitted by PowerUserAlt to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
1) the con was on the opposite side of the country, so I asked for Life365 so I would know they hadn’t been abducted or harmed, and so I could watch where they were. They said yes, then no, then yes. But by the time they gave in again, I said no. Since I believed it would cause more problems.
2) avoid drugs and alcohol. I thought this was fair, since the only people they knew were from the internet. They refused, because they “would not be able to relax and have fun.”
3) tell me who they were rooming with. They did agree to this, but they only told me one of them, and this person is important later.
4) keep in regular contact. We normally did this anyways, but I wanted to continue for sure while they were gone. They said they’d try their best.
Now it should be mentioned, before they were made aware of this con, I suffered a concussion. Additionally, I have had money troubles, medicine problems, finals for college, and terrible sleep. To put it simply I have been exhausted and not in my right mind for the whole month of April. They haven’t been well either but it’s not my place to say why.
In any case, after weeks of stress and arguing, they parked their car at my house and I drove them to the airport. Eventually they got to the con, but I barely heard from them. I tried to reach out but received little to no response. Then, I opened twitter and was shown a video by their roommate, where for only a few seconds my partner was visible in a crop top.
This normally would not bother me but something in my brain snapped and I panicked and spam texted them that I wasn’t okay with any of this and they needed to stay in contact with me because we had agreed on it, and other paranoid things. I know this wasn’t the right response, but in the moment I was afraid and upset and jealous.
They texted me a couple hours later how it wasn’t okay and how they felt so awful they had to leave the room they were in to cry.
The next morning (unbeknownst to me) they cheated on me with two of their roommates. All I know is it didn’t get far, but they did kiss and my partner told them to stop after five minutes. After this, they texted me that we needed to have a serious conversation about my paranoia when they got back. At some point, they threw away their “engagement” bracelet
This was my wake up call, and so I dialed way back, and tried to stop prodding. I was friendly, but largely non-invasive. They sent me a picture with their roommates, saying the two were in a closed relationship and wouldn’t try anything.
The rest of the weekend went on, and I picked them up on Monday. They were flighty on the ride home, and when we got to my parents house they finally told me. I tried to be supportive and understanding, since I’d been led to believe it was a mistake, but I kept having emotional and mental breakdowns.
For the next two days they stayed here and I tried to help them. They said they did love me, but they didn’t know what they felt or wanted anymore. This hurt really bad. They were clearly unwell, any unrequested touch or question about the future would cause them to freak out. They would push me away and yell at me. I wanted them to go to a crisis center or the psych ward, and they flip flopped on this. Eventually I snapped and a shouting match ensued.
The important parts are: I no longer trust them, they are afraid of me and don’t know what to believe.
On their last day here, I tried to take them to the crisis center, but after an argument they demanded to go home, then to the crisis center. I drove them to the crisis center but they left. When we got back to my house the situation became real as we realized this was the end. We endured another shouting match. As they left, they told me I ruined sex for them, and that they seamlessly fell asleep in the other people’s arms. (They’ve always had a problem sleeping in mine.) and this made me sob.
They texted me a while ago to apologize for what they said, but I don’t know what to say or feel. I’m just hurt and exhausted and betrayed. I still love them, I want this to work, or at least I want to try one more time. I don’t want a bad month to end a good year.
2024.05.15 06:52 StandbyBigWardog Aphrodite, the patron saint of La Chancla.
 | (“Chancla” is Spanish slang for, “flip-flop”, which is the primary punishment weapon of choice for Hispanic and Filipina mothers globally.) submitted by StandbyBigWardog to funny [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 06:27 sfgman22 Mystery Ball(s)...How did I do?
 | I want to start by saying how impressed I am/was with Bowling World and how they handled themselves with this situation. There is a reason you see 2 pictures, and it's not that I bought 2 mystery balls. submitted by sfgman22 to Bowling [link] [comments] So I spent the extra $10 and asked for something for heavy oil. I love my benchmark and my low oil balls very much. I walked them through My 3 ball arsenal and how I define them. I have always envisioned a Long/straight ball, an aggressive or early ball, and then the middle or benchmark ball. You could summarize quicker by just saying low, medium, and heavy oil also. Like I said earlier, I asked for an aggressive or early release ball for heavy oil situations. The 1st ball came in the mail and it was the DV8 Captiv8. My research quickly told me that the ball was basically the opposite of what I asked for. I thought about it, and decided to just ask them about how the decision was made to send this ball based on my request. It was Sunday at noon pacific when I pushed send on my email. About 30 minutes later I got an email from Bowling World asking if they could call me. I hadn't even seen the email when the phone rang (2 pm Pacific on Sunday) and a super nice woman was on the phone. She explained that 2 orders had been flip flopped and that she wanted to send me something else. When I asked if I could send the other back (she was so nice I wanted to offer) she refused and said to hang on to it. She then explained how to put surface on it so that I may actually like it much more. A few days later the Cypher arrived. I am a Bowling World Customer for life now. It was just so nice to have someone actually care, and not make excuses or hide behind a policy. Curious as to everyone's thoughts on either or both of these balls though. Current bag: Black Widow 2.0 Hybrid Hammer Nu Blue Hammer Black Urethane 78D |
2024.05.15 05:37 SoyBeanis Am I just dumb or is something sus going on here? They had flip flop, power struggle, all that stuff, but there were multiple instant pallet drops anytime i downed her on a pallet, always instant pick ups btw. I know for a fact that there was no one else there every time i downed her.
 | submitted by SoyBeanis to deadbydaylight [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 05:35 SoyBeanis Am I just dumb or is something sus going on here? They had flip flop, power struggle, all that stuff, but there were multiple instant pallet drops anytime i downed her on a pallet. I know for a fact that there was no one else there everytime i downed her.
 | submitted by SoyBeanis to deadbydaylight [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 05:00 John_Swift1 I passed the SPHR today!
I passed! I almost can't believe it!
For reference, I have been working in HR for 20 years, but all of it has been in public schools in California, so a lot of the items don't apply to the work I do and/or is altered by California laws and local ordinances.
I mostly used the Pocket Prep app to prepare. I bought the PHR and SPHR Complete Study Guide but really only read it when I didn't know the answers to questions in the Pocket Prep app. I didn't feel like I studied enough, but when I took the test, I felt a little more confident.
I took the test at home and was thankful that my internet didn't go out. The online proctor process was easy and worked well. I felt very concious of being watched and felt like I had a million twitches and made a lot of weird faces. Once I accidentally started reading the question out loud to myself and they stopped me immediately.
I got through all of the questions in about an hour, and flagged many of them to go back and focus on. I went back through those and then went over all of the questions one more time and still had over 30 minutes left over.
No more than 10 minutes passed before I received my passing score and breakdown through email. I was surprised how well I did in one of the areas, which I felt was my weakest, and that I didn't do as well in the area I felt strongest in. I know I second-guessed myself on about 10 questions and flip flopped, which probably ended up with some of them wrong.
I'm so relieved it's done and so proud of myself for passing it.
#sphr #phr #humanresources #hr #certifiedhr #hrexam
submitted by John_Swift1 to sphrcommunity [link] [comments]
For reference, I have been working in HR for 20 years, but all of it has been in public schools in California, so a lot of the items don't apply to the work I do and/or is altered by California laws and local ordinances.
I mostly used the Pocket Prep app to prepare. I bought the PHR and SPHR Complete Study Guide but really only read it when I didn't know the answers to questions in the Pocket Prep app. I didn't feel like I studied enough, but when I took the test, I felt a little more confident.
I took the test at home and was thankful that my internet didn't go out. The online proctor process was easy and worked well. I felt very concious of being watched and felt like I had a million twitches and made a lot of weird faces. Once I accidentally started reading the question out loud to myself and they stopped me immediately.
I got through all of the questions in about an hour, and flagged many of them to go back and focus on. I went back through those and then went over all of the questions one more time and still had over 30 minutes left over.
No more than 10 minutes passed before I received my passing score and breakdown through email. I was surprised how well I did in one of the areas, which I felt was my weakest, and that I didn't do as well in the area I felt strongest in. I know I second-guessed myself on about 10 questions and flip flopped, which probably ended up with some of them wrong.
I'm so relieved it's done and so proud of myself for passing it.
#sphr #phr #humanresources #hr #certifiedhr #hrexam
2024.05.15 02:25 confident7lucky7 Lala cares about one thing and one thing only: HERSELF (Reunion part 1 recap)
lala said to Sandoval “for the sake of the show will you stop talking to people” after Toms Dumpster fire of an interview comparing scandoval to George Floyd.
Again this shows lala only cares about the shows success. She will do anything to stay on the show and get good ratings, including betray Arianna and flip flop to liking Sandoval. I never expected to dislike anyone more than Sandoval this season, but lala is right there. Toms stupid, lalas manipulative and calculated.
submitted by confident7lucky7 to Vanderpumpaholics [link] [comments]
Again this shows lala only cares about the shows success. She will do anything to stay on the show and get good ratings, including betray Arianna and flip flop to liking Sandoval. I never expected to dislike anyone more than Sandoval this season, but lala is right there. Toms stupid, lalas manipulative and calculated.
2024.05.15 02:05 No-Window9853 I think that Trump is the most likely candidate to win the 2024 election, he will become a dictator, and people are sleepwalking.
This is a throwaway account, but I am genuinely concerned about the direction of the United States, and how it will affect the rest of the world too. For all of our lives, America was about freedom and democracy. It may not have been perfect, but we at least had tons of freedom. We have the freedom to be friends with whoever we like, to enjoy whichever entertainment we'd like, for which news we could get, and to use whichever websites we want to (including this one). I also believe in peace, and that people can get along no matter what race, ethnicity, nationality, or their sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, disability, etc, and I believe in going forwards. Unfortunately it looks like we are heavily going backwards, especially with Donald Trump (who has been charged SEVERAL TIMES, and is on trial) as a presumptive nominee. I think we all need to learn that we shouldn't take democracy for granted, but now we live in a time where we are so dangerously close to fascism, where everyone (especially marginalized groups) will face oppression. as Trump is trying to be a dictator (With even more authoritarian rhetoric than ever before. He even said he wanted to be a dictator "only on day one", but history tells us that they last far longer than just a day.) and unfortunately I think he's going to succeed, especially after SCOTUS gives him full immunity and renders him above the law. The worst part about all this is that so many Americans are sleepwalking into it, and some even embracing it. I am heavily believing now that no matter who legitimately wins the election, Trump is going to be in office, and our freedoms will go away (being EXACTLY what the Founders, the real ones and not the MAGA versions, didn't want.). Back in the late 2010s, it would have been considered a partisan hyperbolic statement by Democrats , but after 01/06/21, and the further radicalization of the GOP (to the point it's mostly just the Trump party), plus the extreme polarization, its safe to say that our democracy is unlikely to survive the 2024 election, and here's why a dictatorship is very likely (or inevitable).
One of the worst things about this is that many people are sleepwalking into it, or don't even care. The mass media isn't covering enough of this, but instead "Biden is old" or stuff like that, which isn't helping one bit (especially when owned by billionaires), and what's even worse is that many of these people won't even realize the danger that's coming until it's way too late. Even worse than that is that many people (Especially MAGA) are saying they'd prefer a dictatorship (though maybe not outright, though the fact that they support Putin is telling), and are saying that it's what America needs, and they (wrongly) believe that they will benefit from it. Not only that, a survey has revealed that Gen Z is actually leaning towards dictatorship as well. and not only that, Corporate America is starting to embrace the upcoming dictatorship. They believe they will benefit from it (they won't), being one of the reasons why the mass media won't report this enough. And not only that, it seems like NOTHING can stop him, not even a criminal trial (instead of opening the eyes of Maga, they will see him as being persecuted, meaning there is absolutely NOTHING that could open their eyes, they will never see him as someone who ONLY cares about himself, but as a savior, and i'm frightened by that.).
All of this will result in Trump winning the election (Which will be even more likely once he gets full immunity), and of course our democracy falling apart, the only belief system allowed being (their version of) Christianity, Ukraine being taken over by Putin, and a possible Civil War II (or even worse, WWIII, and a possible nuclear apocalypse). Even worse than that, Putin could take over the US and betray Trump as well (and we will be totally fucked), but if not then Trump may try to take over the world. History tells is that usually the only way to get rid of a dictator is by violence, and we don't want to get to that point, but unfortunately, it looks like its inevitable. Soon we may have to say goodbye to our rights and freedoms, and we will accept that we may lose some of our friends along the way, we may no longer be able to do whatever activities we enjoyed doing, as well as living in fear for a very long time. They also say that a loss of hope for our democracy could contribute to it, and admittedly, it's very hard to feel hopeful right now considering all of the factors, but there is still a little bit of hope. We can prepare for this, and make it so this is less likely,
submitted by No-Window9853 to CollapseSupport [link] [comments]
- Apathetic Voters and Protest votes. If you look at almost all of the polls, Biden and Trump are either tied, or Trump is in the lead by a small margin. In case you haven't noticed, Biden doesn't really have much of a loyal fanbase, meanwhile, Trump has a literal cult who will follow him NO MATTER WHAT. Biden's approval rating has sunken over the years, partially due to inflation (Even though things have been getting better recently), and of course the support of Israel (despite Trump probably being even worse when its this), he signed the bill that will likely Ban TikTok (Even though Trump called for that first, then flip flopped, even though he doesn't care about tiktok) and there is yet another issue than can never be fixed, HIS AGE (though Trump really isn't much younger.) As a result, he has lost the young vote, and many people would either vote for a 3rd party candidate or for Trump as a protest vote, or vote for Trump due his time in office being more "peaceful" and having better "economy" (Even though Trump sides with PUTIN in invading Ukraine, and the fact that the covid recession started under Trump, and lets not forget the George Floyd protests and Trump trying to stop even the PEACEFUL ones, he even threatened to use the MILITARY to do it.) Either that, or they'd refuse to vote for anyone thinking that all the options suck or that Trump will for sure lose so them voting is unnecessary. But, that's one of the reasons why Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election and Trump won (only by the electoral vote), and why we are all in this mess in the first place.
- Voter suppression: Even if there were a lot of people who would actually want Biden to win, Ever since the 2020 election, republican lawmakers across states have passed several voter suppression laws to make it harder for those who are most likely to vote against Trump or other republican candidates. More people would also be disenfranchised. Even worse than that, is that some of it could even be done by force, such as Maga people guarding the polls, and even Poll workers not working fairly either.
- Overturning an election could happen. Even if Biden won the election legitimately, there is still a chance that the election could be overturned, and not only that, there's a HIGHER CHANCE of it being successful than in 2020. In fact people are already planning the election denial just in case Biden wins, which will ensure that it will be more likely to be a success, so it's very likely that even if Biden legitimately wins, Trump will be in office.
- January 6 could happen again. Even if the election doesn't get overturned, there is another way Trump could get in office, BY FORCE! When January 6 happened, it was very violent and scary, but it didn't prevent Biden from getting in office. However, things are likely to be different in 2025, and as such January 6 may be more likely to be successful than last time. They may use some tactics that are UNTHINKABLE, and of course, Trump could power grab and be in office, and thus become a dictator.
One of the worst things about this is that many people are sleepwalking into it, or don't even care. The mass media isn't covering enough of this, but instead "Biden is old" or stuff like that, which isn't helping one bit (especially when owned by billionaires), and what's even worse is that many of these people won't even realize the danger that's coming until it's way too late. Even worse than that is that many people (Especially MAGA) are saying they'd prefer a dictatorship (though maybe not outright, though the fact that they support Putin is telling), and are saying that it's what America needs, and they (wrongly) believe that they will benefit from it. Not only that, a survey has revealed that Gen Z is actually leaning towards dictatorship as well. and not only that, Corporate America is starting to embrace the upcoming dictatorship. They believe they will benefit from it (they won't), being one of the reasons why the mass media won't report this enough. And not only that, it seems like NOTHING can stop him, not even a criminal trial (instead of opening the eyes of Maga, they will see him as being persecuted, meaning there is absolutely NOTHING that could open their eyes, they will never see him as someone who ONLY cares about himself, but as a savior, and i'm frightened by that.).
All of this will result in Trump winning the election (Which will be even more likely once he gets full immunity), and of course our democracy falling apart, the only belief system allowed being (their version of) Christianity, Ukraine being taken over by Putin, and a possible Civil War II (or even worse, WWIII, and a possible nuclear apocalypse). Even worse than that, Putin could take over the US and betray Trump as well (and we will be totally fucked), but if not then Trump may try to take over the world. History tells is that usually the only way to get rid of a dictator is by violence, and we don't want to get to that point, but unfortunately, it looks like its inevitable. Soon we may have to say goodbye to our rights and freedoms, and we will accept that we may lose some of our friends along the way, we may no longer be able to do whatever activities we enjoyed doing, as well as living in fear for a very long time. They also say that a loss of hope for our democracy could contribute to it, and admittedly, it's very hard to feel hopeful right now considering all of the factors, but there is still a little bit of hope. We can prepare for this, and make it so this is less likely,
- Everyone should vote: Everyone who is allowed to vote should vote. The two party system sucks, and I'm not the biggest Biden fan, but I'm voting for him anyway, because he's the lesser of the two evils, especially when the only other major choice is trying to overthrow the government. I think a vote for a 3rd party candidate or someone else who isn't on the ballot is a vote for trump, please let's not repeat 2016.
- Fight Voter suppression by supporting some non profit pro democracy groups, especially non partisan ones.
- Fighting against the overturning, again by supporting the same organizations.
- The people at the Capitol should be prepared for what will happen the next attack.
2024.05.15 01:27 kissdaniellesto3s Finally sunny enough for flip flops at work.
 | submitted by kissdaniellesto3s to flipflopfeet [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 00:27 heh_capitano reapplicant vent
I'm not sure what the purpose of this post is, but I guess I just need to vent. I shot myself in the foot by applying pretty late last cycle (september-ish), and I'm currently waitlisted at two schools. As much as I'm trying to stay hopeful, I'm being realistic and planning on reapplying early.
It just sucks. I took my DAT in Oct. of 2021 and scored pretty well, but apparently my score won't be valid this cycle for many programs I'm reapplying to due to its expiration date, so I'm planning on retaking it in a month.
I graduated in 2022 and had already planned on taking a gap year just to explore my other passions, work, travel, and take a break from school. Things went well in my first gap year, and I was on track to apply for the '23-'24 cycle. But my world fell apart in late spring of last year, when my boyfriend passed away, and honestly I just shut down. Long story short, I was unable to apply early and kept flip-flopping between submitting late or waiting for the '24-'25 cycle. I ended up just saying f it and applied late, but unfortunately that hasn't work out.
In the past, when I'd see my old peers and friends already in their D2 and D3 year, I'd beat myself up because I'd feel so behind, disheartened, and embarrassed. However, I'm really trying to adopt a healthier mentality and perspective for reapplying, reminding myself that I'm on my OWN journey. Things don't come easy in life, and that this is just a small blip. With the new cycle opening today, I plan on putting my best foot forward and continuing to persevere. Reading other stories of reapplicants has been inspiring nonetheless.
I apologize for all this word vomit. Kinda just had to get it out, but I feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders. If anyone wants to share their own stories as a reapplicant, I welcome them and would love to hear them. This community has been helpful, welcoming, funny, and a breath of fresh air and I know we'll all make it as successful dentists someday.
submitted by heh_capitano to predental [link] [comments]
It just sucks. I took my DAT in Oct. of 2021 and scored pretty well, but apparently my score won't be valid this cycle for many programs I'm reapplying to due to its expiration date, so I'm planning on retaking it in a month.
I graduated in 2022 and had already planned on taking a gap year just to explore my other passions, work, travel, and take a break from school. Things went well in my first gap year, and I was on track to apply for the '23-'24 cycle. But my world fell apart in late spring of last year, when my boyfriend passed away, and honestly I just shut down. Long story short, I was unable to apply early and kept flip-flopping between submitting late or waiting for the '24-'25 cycle. I ended up just saying f it and applied late, but unfortunately that hasn't work out.
In the past, when I'd see my old peers and friends already in their D2 and D3 year, I'd beat myself up because I'd feel so behind, disheartened, and embarrassed. However, I'm really trying to adopt a healthier mentality and perspective for reapplying, reminding myself that I'm on my OWN journey. Things don't come easy in life, and that this is just a small blip. With the new cycle opening today, I plan on putting my best foot forward and continuing to persevere. Reading other stories of reapplicants has been inspiring nonetheless.
I apologize for all this word vomit. Kinda just had to get it out, but I feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders. If anyone wants to share their own stories as a reapplicant, I welcome them and would love to hear them. This community has been helpful, welcoming, funny, and a breath of fresh air and I know we'll all make it as successful dentists someday.
2024.05.14 23:44 ParkingAstronomer956 What’s up with my big toe?
 | I’ve had these callouses over the knuckles on my big toe for years. They’re painless but prominent. Makes flip-flop season kinda hit or miss 😖 submitted by ParkingAstronomer956 to DermatologyQuestions [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 23:23 lady_irish175 Want to reach out
I was seeing this guy for 5 months. I would say he was the male version of me and I was the female version of him. We have a lot in common with similar hobbies, life views, humor etc. We also had a ton of fun together whenever we would hang out. It was overall a very healthy relationship.
I recently asked him where he sees this going and how I think he has a pretty solid idea how I feel about him. His response was something along the lines of “I personally am confused - my feelings seem to be going back and forth. Love spending time with you and all of our fun adventures but sometimes it feels like we are best friends more than dating and I’m trying to work through that because I always said I want to marry my best friend “ I basically just understood where he was coming from and asked if there was anything I could change to move it in the right direction. I told him how I really like him and and have been enjoying the connection and am also looking for my best friend etc. He said “there’s nothing to fix I don’t think this is broken by any means we have fun together and are very like minded I just feel like my feelings flip flop” he continued to say he feels like he’s standing in a door way and isn’t sure which way to go.
I responded just saying I think this sorta answers it for me and I really wish him the best
That was the last time we spoke. I really do like this guy and want to work through this if it’s feasible but I guess I need some advice on how to navigate this. Would it be weird if I reached out to him first or is the ball in his court?
Please be kind and all advice is welcomed
submitted by lady_irish175 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
I recently asked him where he sees this going and how I think he has a pretty solid idea how I feel about him. His response was something along the lines of “I personally am confused - my feelings seem to be going back and forth. Love spending time with you and all of our fun adventures but sometimes it feels like we are best friends more than dating and I’m trying to work through that because I always said I want to marry my best friend “ I basically just understood where he was coming from and asked if there was anything I could change to move it in the right direction. I told him how I really like him and and have been enjoying the connection and am also looking for my best friend etc. He said “there’s nothing to fix I don’t think this is broken by any means we have fun together and are very like minded I just feel like my feelings flip flop” he continued to say he feels like he’s standing in a door way and isn’t sure which way to go.
I responded just saying I think this sorta answers it for me and I really wish him the best
That was the last time we spoke. I really do like this guy and want to work through this if it’s feasible but I guess I need some advice on how to navigate this. Would it be weird if I reached out to him first or is the ball in his court?
Please be kind and all advice is welcomed
2024.05.14 22:00 BrookieCookieCon19 Reposted to fix errors in format and add poctures
 | My wedding was a dumpster fire... literally... submitted by BrookieCookieCon19 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments] I saw your wedding horror story videos and have one of my own I think a lot of people would get a kick out of. Yes, this entire story is 100% true with no real hyperbole, tall tales, etc. This all actually happened and I have witnesses that will attest to this if asked. I'd been with my husband for about 2 years, engaged for 1, when we found out I was pregnant. Obvi, we decided to rush the wedding after we had a talk about the surprise and what we wanted to do. Flash forward a little and my original Maid of Honor and I had a falling out because the last time we had been together and gone to the church the wedding was being hosted, she had gotten disrespectful with the elders and asked questions she thought were funny, but were really just rude. The swearing really didn't help matters either. I asked her if she would be able to try to be more respectful of my beliefs and be gentle with the others that would be there. This lead to a fight and the beginning of the end of a 7 year relationship (when we tried to rekindle our relationship later, she said she hoped my son would get unalived by a cop because he is white and no one cared about it. Thank God I cut ties when I did). This was also the beginning of a new friendship between myself and the best man's fiancé (we are still bffs today) when I asked her to take over. Crisis 1 averted. For the sake of setting some scenes, I worked at a hotel in a podunk town, right off the highway and met with a make up artist that came in for a makeup party gig with housekeeping. We talked and she agreed to work with me and MOH for the wedding. Here comes the beginning of everything going down hill, on fire, in a rickety buggy. The night before, after the rehearsal dinner, at 11pm the makeup artist gets ahold of me saying she has to cancel because her husband got into a water bottle accident (water bottle is oilfield speak for the giant water trucks they have on site) and was in the hospital. We understood and told her to do what she has to, we can handle things ourselves. Meanwhile, my husband's uncle was cooking the pig for the reception dinner as it doubled as his wedding gift to us (which we are extremely thankful for btw). It caught on fire. In the parking lot. Of the hotel I was working at, and everyone was staying. Luckily he was able to save it, but I got to hear about it when I got back to work. They printed the security camera image and everything. It was great. Now it's the morning of the wedding. I realize that I am missing makeup that I need and, living in a map dot myself, needed to drive half an hour away in order to get what we were missing. Thank God for my dad needed to go out that way anyway. He got us breakfast, took us to the store, and we grabbed what we needed and started to take off. The shirt I was wearing, without my knowledge, had popped the button right over my boobs showing God and everybody my goodies and I hadn't realized it until we were on our way to grab the cupcakes and "smash" cake (it was a cheap alternative to a traditional wedding cake and actually save us a TON of money for the "event"[ note for brides on a budget, say event and not wedding to save some extra $]). We get home and nerves take over, coupled with my already awful morning sickness, leading me to be stuck in the bathroom for a while. I finish up, brush my teeth again for the third time and decide to start getting things around and just get ready at the church. I made a Playlist in order, and wrote down the order for my brother to be able to just press play and not worry about ads or anything. I literally went as far as saying song a-c for while you wait, d for the procession, and e for my enterance with the song titles. This will become a problem apparently. As MOH and I are getting ready, I start to freak out because the makeup I got is streaky and I can barely get anything to blend how I want it to, so my mom had my dad grab her makeup and bring it down and takes over for us. Her friend, who offered to do pictures for us along with my SIL (and I paid them both for) told my mom to give me fake lashes because it'd make the pictures prettier. I told them I wasn't comfortable with it because it was new and I didn't know if I could handle the glue smell and the glue she uses hurts my eyes as is. Mom basically said to hush and let her do it. One thing lead to another, and my mother glued my eyes shut. 10 minutes before my wedding was due to start. Even though I had asked for no fake lashes. Hormones kicked in and I started to cry. After about 5 minutes, we are able to get my eyes opened, but still had bits of glue in my lashes that ended up scratching my eyes throughout the wedding. I included a picture where you can see even through the editing how chunky the glue made my lashes and where chunks were pulled out with the glue. My dad came down asking what was taking so long, and my mom snapped at him and told him to go upstairs and wait a second, which made me start to cry again. I calm myself down rather quickly and get dressed (the dress ended up being too big because the morning sickness had made me lose weight without me realizing it) and we all head upstairs only about 5 minutes or so late. At the doors, I can hear the music playing. It's the wrong songs. My dad, in his usual joking fashion, said "It's not too late to run". I told him I just wanted to get this dumpster fire over with. Speed up a bit and during the ceremony, the pastor skipped over the marriage cross ceremony (where the newly weds put a cross together as a symbol of our faith in our marriage), and called my husband Durk. Miraculously, we make it through with those being the only things amiss, besides my husband being tired and looking grumpy the entire time (I guess he and Best Man stayed up half the night BSing with his uncle and dad, my FIL, and having a couple drinks). Now the ceremony is over and we have people heading to the hotel to set up for the reception. Pictures were a cluster, there was yelling, I started to cry again because I just wanted things to be done quickly, and my mom wanted her photographer she had come in take pictures that she promised to pay for. We still haven't gotten any of them from said photographer. After my parents were done with their part, they took off for the hotel and someone accidentally set some of the mac and cheese on fire, setting off the smoke alarms for the hotel. Can't say I cared too much because it wasn't the recipe I'd given my mom to make that she asked me to send her because I'm a picky eater as it is with my "touch of the tism" coupled with pregnancy making things worse. Eventually we get there, and things had gotten flip-flopped as to what was going on and when because Mom wanted it to go her way, MIL was trying to stick to the schedule I had made... It was great. Thank God for hubby's "Aunti B" that was able to take charge and be my voice and fix things where as my mom looked at MIL and Aunti B and said "I don't care, she's you're problem now". Honestly wasn't surprising from my mom. So we wait for every one to file in to the room we were supposed to start in, and I have to teach my brother how to press play on my phone for music. 🤦🏽♀️ Awesome. We get the Mother Son dance and the Father Daughter dance, and by then my husband was done with everything so we just had the food blessed and proceeded to the dining area. No newlywed dance for us. Still pretty upset about that. At this point I'm too upset to eat, but manage to nibble here and there. As things start to come down, Mom's friend (yes eyelash woman) comes up to me upset because I didn't warn her that the hotel had a pool so she didn't bring suits for her girls to swim in while everyone else was prepared. I informed her (and showed her) that on the event page for the wedding I wrote where everything was taking place and that the hotel had a pool they were free to enjoy. The same information everyone else had used before coming. Embarrassed, she left and just had her daughters swim in their underwear and diaper. At that point, everyone had eaten, we did the cake cutting, cake smash "competition" (hubby and I each had a jar people woukd put money into as a bid to who will get the cake to the face. Hubby lost, but we ended up turning it into a little game anyway. Pictures included) and a lot of the ceremonial stuff was over so I started cleaning up (condition of being able to use the hotel for free for the event as an employee) and everyone started pitching in. The ceremony was at 3pm, reception around 4pm. We had everything cleaned up by 6:30pm, 7pm at the latest. Everyone that was staying in the hotel hung out for a bit, and my MIL and SIL (bless them) attempted to get the rest of the eyelash glue out of my eyes and managed to get a bit out with only one piece left before I had to stop. I got chewed out about how things went and how bad my parents looked with everything by my mom (OFC) and I decided to say screw it, packed up, and left for home with hubby, MOH and BM. If you thought that was the end of it, you're mistaken. The next day, after my amazing MOH got the last of the glue out of my eye, we saw everyone off, and we were to take off for our honeymoon (a Civil War town because there was quite a bit of fun there when I went, and Hubby hadn't been, and it was cheap). I convinced my dad to let us take the SUV because I had a bad feeling about my car. Thank God I did because despite the "new" engine, the car died on the highway not even 10 miles from home when I took it to work later on. Anyway, we make it to the hotel that had amazing reviews online to discover stains everywhere on the bed and stuff (ew), the pool was atrocious, and the water in the shower smelled like chemicals and started to burn my husband's face. So we checked out saying we had an emergency back home and had to leave. I called a nearby hotel in my brand I worked for and managed to get a room that is usually about $170 a night or so, for $60 a night. Thank God for them. The rest of the honeymoon went on well with almost no morning sickness, and no other issues. The only bout of morning sickness (which reiterates my desire to know why it's called that when it can happen anytime of day) happened when my husband was being sweet and shared some of his food with me he knew I generally liked. The baby decided "I don't like that", sending me to hug a trash can a little while after lunch. In the middle of the section of (Civil War Town). By the (civil war history specific) house. In the middle of afternoon traffic. The family ahead of us glared and started saying something about drunk people in the day 🙄 and my husband started laughing at the irony of it all. He took off to find me napkins to clean up and a good Samaritan stopped to ask if I was ok. I told him "I'm fine, just pregnant" and they chuckled then left. I managed to get cleaned up when hubby came back with the napkins and we continued on our way. For those wondering, we now have 2 healthy boys, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and have been happily married for 5 years in August. We still laugh about my eyes getting glued shut on our anniversary with our friends and how my wedding was a prime example of Murphy's Law. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. |
2024.05.14 21:31 SonderAnonymous At my (29F NT) breaking point - is there hope for my relationship with my fiancé (31M dx rx)?
I (29F NT) am extremely neurotypical and emotionally/mentally/financially stable. I’ve been struggling with my fiancé (31M dx rx) for a long time, and could really use some tailored words of wisdom. Lurking this subreddit/community has been so incredibly validating and helpful as I navigate this overwhelming journey… 2 years into our relationship and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I doubt whether he’s capable of changing fast enough, I’m not sure I want this for my life anymore. Things will only get harder as we age and kids are thrown in the mix…
The past year has been soul-crushing, I’m a shell of the person I used to be. I’ve self-isolated from friends, had depressive episodes (never had that before), gained an excessive amount of weight, am frequently paranoid and anxious (never had anxiety before). I just never have long-lasting peace, it has destroyed my mental health. Before all this, I was eager to get engaged/married while he was nervous and wanted to take it slow. Now things have flip-flopped: he proposed far earlier than I thought he would, and I’m hitting the breaks uncertain of our future when I’m supposed to be planning a wedding (I refuse to until I see long-term/consistent improvement from him).
I can say that thankfully, my fiancé is not on the extreme end of ADHD. He doesn’t struggle holding a job, he isn’t a slob, he doesn’t shut down sexually, etc. He was diagnosed with ADD (so inattentive ADHD) when he was 18, and has been taking Adderall since. He does not take as much as he is prescribed, which I’ve questioned and he brushed off. We have gotten into heated, and ridiculous, arguments since early-on in our relationship.
Fall last year I unintentionally stumbled upon the emotional dysregulation aspect of ADHD. I was watching reels on Facebook, and in one a woman started by saying “If your partner has ADHD, watch this.” I continued watching, and 5-10 seconds later she mentioned in passing how they have problems with emotional regulation. I was immediately floored and replayed the video to make sure I heard it correctly. I Googled it and, low and behold: there was article after article about this. I read bullet point after bullet point of the manifestations of ADHD, and I couldn’t believe how it described exactly what I had been dealing with for nearly a year and a half.
My entire life I thought ADHD just meant someone had more difficulty focusing or they were hyperactive. This is what most of [uninformed] society thinks, and also what my fiancé himself thought. Over a 12+ year period since being diagnosed, not a single doctor or psychiatrist ever once mentioned the emotional dysregulation aspect of ADHD to my fiancé. He had no idea! Previously, I had chalked up our problems to political differences and that for his entire 20s he was always around (and dated) people very different from me. So I thought he just had trouble adjusting away from judgmental worldviews he had adopted while being surrounded by like-minded people for so long.
The discovery of emotional dysregulation and RSD was ground-breaking for us. He had been starting to think I was the problem since he “didn’t have these problems in my previous relationships.” Well that’s because he always dated less-mentally-stable people (his most recent girlfriend was diagnosed bipolar), so by comparison he was always the more stable one in the relationship and the magnifying glass was pointed away from him. Making the link between our problems and his ADHD made it tangible in a way that he could understand, which provided a foundation for his growth and improvements to begin (alongside therapy). But it’s very difficult for a 30+ year old man with a brain disorder to unlearn bad habits he was fully unaware of & learn how to retrain his brain to process information in a healthy way…
My fiancé has externalized RSD - he becomes highly reactive and verbally aggressive. He is hypersensitive, his brain distorts reality and interprets innocuous questions/statements like “did you put water in the soap dispenser” or “that’s a lot of cereal” as personal attacks. He also has a very big problem not respecting certain differences in opinion we have, or not respecting my choice to not eat/do certain things - he will push and push and push and push, will not stop pushing even after I calmly & nicely asked him to stop dozens of times after dozens of arguments, will not stop even after I’m sobbing begging him to please stop with tears streaming down my face. What are these explosive arguments about? The most mundane, inconsequential things. I wish this was made-up: HOV lanes, me not wanting to eat salad, me not wanting to eat warm guac, me not wanting to eat mustard, me not wanting to try Adderall or coke, me having a different view/opinion on how we should heat up a frozen pizza, me not wanting to eat mushrooms because they make me sick, etc etc.
Every single time we have an explosive argument, he pushes and pushes and pushes. When I reiterate, for the 100th time, that I have autonomy over my own body and don’t need to do anything I don’t want to do, he tries to manipulate me by flipping the script and parroting words/phrases I’ve used in previous discussions (like saying I’m being “disrespectful” and “dismissive” of his feelings/opinions because I won’t do what he wants me to do). Only once he calms down does he realize how badly he effed-up, profusely apologizes, and promises to never do it again and that he’s capable of being better… But then he just does it again and again and again and again and again and AGAIN.
He tries to play the victim and come off as reasonable by saying that he’s just “trying to understand” me by asking questions. I told him that is a cop-out because after I’ve explained how I feel, he ignores it since it doesn’t make sense to him & doesn’t line up with what he thinks/believes, and instead he continues pushing/pressuring me.
More recently he also claims that he isn’t trying to pressure me to do anything TO MYSELF, he’s just sharing his own experiences and thoughts with me so I can understand him better. When you repetitively “share your experiences/thoughts” on XYZ after I made it clear dozens of times that I don’t want to do XYZ and to please stop pressuring me to, even if you don’t explicitly state “You should try XYZ,” you are still INDIRECTLY pushing/pressuring me.
I. am. SO TIRED. Resentment has been growing, I’m paranoid and anxious, I don’t trust him (because he has repeatedly lied to me), his substance use (alcohol and weed) has become less and less attractive. He claimed a long time ago that I’m obsessed with being right, but he’s just projecting - he’s the one obsessed with “being right.” While he loves how I do all the paperwork-related “adult” part of life, he gets really annoyed that I’m almost always ‘right’ about things while he is not - so he takes it out on me.
Things have gotten to the point of reactive abuse, which I warned him about a few months into our relationship (at the time I didn’t know the term, just the concept). I’m having such a hard time making my mind up on where to go from here. When things are good, they are so good. He is a genuine person and a good man, we have SO much love for each other. We share many laughs and have built a life together. But… his brain is plagued with a disorder (that he was not fully informed on & did not begin attempting to manage until 6 months ago) that breaks me down.
While he has improved since the ADHD link was discovered and he started therapy, he continues slipping up and defaulting back to his regular BS. I don’t think I can take it anymore. I don’t want to waste more years of my life, or end up trapped in a marriage because of kids… I’m afraid that’s what it will come to, and I’ll be forever mad at myself for sticking around despite the red flags and what I knew about his condition.
BUT… What if it’s possible for him to improve and stop hurting me? Maybe he needs different medication? Maybe there are other communication approaches we can try? Maybe there’s a better kind of ADHD-specific therapy out there (I don’t think his/our current therapist is helping much)?
I know that he has a long way to go, and that I need to focus on healing. What are methods that have worked for you? Is there a better way I can go about looking for a therapist that specializes in adult ADHD & who truly understands it and can help? My fiancé acknowledges and understands that he has a problem, I can see that he is genuinely trying to improve - he wants to be a better person for himself and also be the partner I deserve. He is struggling to make it happen, he wants it SO badly - he doesn’t want to lose me or the life we have together. I just don’t know how much more of this I can take… Please, any advice & support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read.
submitted by SonderAnonymous to ADHD_partners [link] [comments]
The past year has been soul-crushing, I’m a shell of the person I used to be. I’ve self-isolated from friends, had depressive episodes (never had that before), gained an excessive amount of weight, am frequently paranoid and anxious (never had anxiety before). I just never have long-lasting peace, it has destroyed my mental health. Before all this, I was eager to get engaged/married while he was nervous and wanted to take it slow. Now things have flip-flopped: he proposed far earlier than I thought he would, and I’m hitting the breaks uncertain of our future when I’m supposed to be planning a wedding (I refuse to until I see long-term/consistent improvement from him).
I can say that thankfully, my fiancé is not on the extreme end of ADHD. He doesn’t struggle holding a job, he isn’t a slob, he doesn’t shut down sexually, etc. He was diagnosed with ADD (so inattentive ADHD) when he was 18, and has been taking Adderall since. He does not take as much as he is prescribed, which I’ve questioned and he brushed off. We have gotten into heated, and ridiculous, arguments since early-on in our relationship.
Fall last year I unintentionally stumbled upon the emotional dysregulation aspect of ADHD. I was watching reels on Facebook, and in one a woman started by saying “If your partner has ADHD, watch this.” I continued watching, and 5-10 seconds later she mentioned in passing how they have problems with emotional regulation. I was immediately floored and replayed the video to make sure I heard it correctly. I Googled it and, low and behold: there was article after article about this. I read bullet point after bullet point of the manifestations of ADHD, and I couldn’t believe how it described exactly what I had been dealing with for nearly a year and a half.
My entire life I thought ADHD just meant someone had more difficulty focusing or they were hyperactive. This is what most of [uninformed] society thinks, and also what my fiancé himself thought. Over a 12+ year period since being diagnosed, not a single doctor or psychiatrist ever once mentioned the emotional dysregulation aspect of ADHD to my fiancé. He had no idea! Previously, I had chalked up our problems to political differences and that for his entire 20s he was always around (and dated) people very different from me. So I thought he just had trouble adjusting away from judgmental worldviews he had adopted while being surrounded by like-minded people for so long.
The discovery of emotional dysregulation and RSD was ground-breaking for us. He had been starting to think I was the problem since he “didn’t have these problems in my previous relationships.” Well that’s because he always dated less-mentally-stable people (his most recent girlfriend was diagnosed bipolar), so by comparison he was always the more stable one in the relationship and the magnifying glass was pointed away from him. Making the link between our problems and his ADHD made it tangible in a way that he could understand, which provided a foundation for his growth and improvements to begin (alongside therapy). But it’s very difficult for a 30+ year old man with a brain disorder to unlearn bad habits he was fully unaware of & learn how to retrain his brain to process information in a healthy way…
My fiancé has externalized RSD - he becomes highly reactive and verbally aggressive. He is hypersensitive, his brain distorts reality and interprets innocuous questions/statements like “did you put water in the soap dispenser” or “that’s a lot of cereal” as personal attacks. He also has a very big problem not respecting certain differences in opinion we have, or not respecting my choice to not eat/do certain things - he will push and push and push and push, will not stop pushing even after I calmly & nicely asked him to stop dozens of times after dozens of arguments, will not stop even after I’m sobbing begging him to please stop with tears streaming down my face. What are these explosive arguments about? The most mundane, inconsequential things. I wish this was made-up: HOV lanes, me not wanting to eat salad, me not wanting to eat warm guac, me not wanting to eat mustard, me not wanting to try Adderall or coke, me having a different view/opinion on how we should heat up a frozen pizza, me not wanting to eat mushrooms because they make me sick, etc etc.
Every single time we have an explosive argument, he pushes and pushes and pushes. When I reiterate, for the 100th time, that I have autonomy over my own body and don’t need to do anything I don’t want to do, he tries to manipulate me by flipping the script and parroting words/phrases I’ve used in previous discussions (like saying I’m being “disrespectful” and “dismissive” of his feelings/opinions because I won’t do what he wants me to do). Only once he calms down does he realize how badly he effed-up, profusely apologizes, and promises to never do it again and that he’s capable of being better… But then he just does it again and again and again and again and again and AGAIN.
He tries to play the victim and come off as reasonable by saying that he’s just “trying to understand” me by asking questions. I told him that is a cop-out because after I’ve explained how I feel, he ignores it since it doesn’t make sense to him & doesn’t line up with what he thinks/believes, and instead he continues pushing/pressuring me.
More recently he also claims that he isn’t trying to pressure me to do anything TO MYSELF, he’s just sharing his own experiences and thoughts with me so I can understand him better. When you repetitively “share your experiences/thoughts” on XYZ after I made it clear dozens of times that I don’t want to do XYZ and to please stop pressuring me to, even if you don’t explicitly state “You should try XYZ,” you are still INDIRECTLY pushing/pressuring me.
I. am. SO TIRED. Resentment has been growing, I’m paranoid and anxious, I don’t trust him (because he has repeatedly lied to me), his substance use (alcohol and weed) has become less and less attractive. He claimed a long time ago that I’m obsessed with being right, but he’s just projecting - he’s the one obsessed with “being right.” While he loves how I do all the paperwork-related “adult” part of life, he gets really annoyed that I’m almost always ‘right’ about things while he is not - so he takes it out on me.
Things have gotten to the point of reactive abuse, which I warned him about a few months into our relationship (at the time I didn’t know the term, just the concept). I’m having such a hard time making my mind up on where to go from here. When things are good, they are so good. He is a genuine person and a good man, we have SO much love for each other. We share many laughs and have built a life together. But… his brain is plagued with a disorder (that he was not fully informed on & did not begin attempting to manage until 6 months ago) that breaks me down.
While he has improved since the ADHD link was discovered and he started therapy, he continues slipping up and defaulting back to his regular BS. I don’t think I can take it anymore. I don’t want to waste more years of my life, or end up trapped in a marriage because of kids… I’m afraid that’s what it will come to, and I’ll be forever mad at myself for sticking around despite the red flags and what I knew about his condition.
BUT… What if it’s possible for him to improve and stop hurting me? Maybe he needs different medication? Maybe there are other communication approaches we can try? Maybe there’s a better kind of ADHD-specific therapy out there (I don’t think his/our current therapist is helping much)?
I know that he has a long way to go, and that I need to focus on healing. What are methods that have worked for you? Is there a better way I can go about looking for a therapist that specializes in adult ADHD & who truly understands it and can help? My fiancé acknowledges and understands that he has a problem, I can see that he is genuinely trying to improve - he wants to be a better person for himself and also be the partner I deserve. He is struggling to make it happen, he wants it SO badly - he doesn’t want to lose me or the life we have together. I just don’t know how much more of this I can take… Please, any advice & support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read.
2024.05.14 21:26 lady_irish175 Am I the dumper or dumpee?
I was seeing this guy for 5 months. I would say he was the male version of me and I was the female version of him. We have a lot in common with similar hobbies, life views, humor etc. We also had a ton of fun together whenever we would hang out. It was overall a very healthy relationship.
I recently asked him where he sees this going and how I think he has a pretty solid idea how I feel about him. His response was something along the lines of “I personally am confused - my feelings seem to be going back and forth. Love spending time with you and all of our fun adventures but sometimes it feels like we are best friends more than dating and I’m trying to work through that because I always said I want to marry my best friend “ I basically just understood where he was coming from and asked if there was anything I could change to move it in the right direction. I told him how I really like him and and have been enjoying the connection and am also looking for my best friend etc. He said “there’s nothing to fix I don’t think this is broken by any means we have fun together and are very like minded I just feel like my feelings flip flop” he continued to say he feels like he’s standing in a door way and isn’t sure which way to go.
I responded just saying I think this sorta answers it for me and I really wish him the best
That was the last time we spoke. I really do like this guy and want to work through this if it’s feasible but I guess I need some advice on how to navigate this. Would it be weird if I reached out to him first or is the ball in his court?
Please be kind and all advice is welcomed
submitted by lady_irish175 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I recently asked him where he sees this going and how I think he has a pretty solid idea how I feel about him. His response was something along the lines of “I personally am confused - my feelings seem to be going back and forth. Love spending time with you and all of our fun adventures but sometimes it feels like we are best friends more than dating and I’m trying to work through that because I always said I want to marry my best friend “ I basically just understood where he was coming from and asked if there was anything I could change to move it in the right direction. I told him how I really like him and and have been enjoying the connection and am also looking for my best friend etc. He said “there’s nothing to fix I don’t think this is broken by any means we have fun together and are very like minded I just feel like my feelings flip flop” he continued to say he feels like he’s standing in a door way and isn’t sure which way to go.
I responded just saying I think this sorta answers it for me and I really wish him the best
That was the last time we spoke. I really do like this guy and want to work through this if it’s feasible but I guess I need some advice on how to navigate this. Would it be weird if I reached out to him first or is the ball in his court?
Please be kind and all advice is welcomed
2024.05.14 21:25 Severe_Ad428 Barefoot versus supportive shoes for PF?
Has anyone successfully used going barefoot to back off PF? I used to be barefoot a lot, and never had foot pain, always fairly active. The last few years I've started teaching, which means I spend 7-8 hours a day, standing on a concrete floor. Some pacing and moving around the classroom, but all on concrete.
This has led to me developing plantar fasciitis, to the point where I had to see a podiatrist last summer, and get a cortisone shot in my foot. He also gave me custom orthotic inserts to wear, and said I should never be barefoot, even in the house.
I've had good success wearing Oofos flip flops in the house, and NB FreshFoam shoes with the orthotic inserts, but my feet are still tired and sore at the end of the day, and tight when I get up in the mornings.
Can doing more stuff barefoot help to strengthen the foot enough to relieve the PF pain or maybe even alleviate the cause of the pain? I'm seeing a lot of recommendations for wide toe box shoes, and barefoot style shoes, and wondering if just going barefoot could be beneficial?
submitted by Severe_Ad428 to PlantarFasciitis [link] [comments]
This has led to me developing plantar fasciitis, to the point where I had to see a podiatrist last summer, and get a cortisone shot in my foot. He also gave me custom orthotic inserts to wear, and said I should never be barefoot, even in the house.
I've had good success wearing Oofos flip flops in the house, and NB FreshFoam shoes with the orthotic inserts, but my feet are still tired and sore at the end of the day, and tight when I get up in the mornings.
Can doing more stuff barefoot help to strengthen the foot enough to relieve the PF pain or maybe even alleviate the cause of the pain? I'm seeing a lot of recommendations for wide toe box shoes, and barefoot style shoes, and wondering if just going barefoot could be beneficial?
2024.05.14 21:19 10384748285853758482 Sabo buffs will likely lead to frequent slugging and tedious bleedout builds/games
 | While Background Player was nerfed to 150% instead of 200% Haste, it is now up every 20s instead of every 40s, meaning it’s even more likely it’ll be ready literally any time the killer ever picks someone up. Toolboxes and toolbox add-ons have also been given huge buffs to sabotaging hooks. submitted by 10384748285853758482 to deadbydaylight [link] [comments] Combine the two, and you are going to end up with killers who will slug and not risk picking up due to the odds the survivor wiggles out. This will make survivors run self-recovery perks. Survivors that don’t will have to lay on the ground for minutes at a time. This can in turn, lead to tedious lose-lose gameplay of slugging over and over until survivors eventually bleed to death or run out of charges to sabotage hooks with. If they pick up, the survivor wiggles out. If they don’t, the survivor gets back up. Rinse and repeat until all survivors finally bleed to death. Example of a build made not to win, but to make a match as painful as possible: 1. Everyone runs No Mither and Background Player. Remaining two perks can be perks like Boil Over, Breakout, Flip Flop, Streetwise, Unbreakable, etc. 2. Everyone brings toolboxes with double sabotage add-ons. 3. Can toss in a map offering to try and get a map with few hooks or far-apart hooks. 4. All four survivors AFK in a part of the map with few hooks. 5. If the killer goes for a pickup, Background Player ensures someone outruns the killer to the hook and can sabotage it. 6. If the killer drops the survivor, they get back up and run back to the place they started at, wiggle out on next pickup, etc. |
2024.05.14 21:11 Sweet-Count2557 Best Beaches Near Charlotte Nc
 | Best Beaches Near Charlotte Nc Are you dreaming of a sandy oasis near Charlotte, North Carolina? Well, buckle up and join us on a virtual beach tour!As beach enthusiasts ourselves, we've scoured the area to bring you the best beaches.From the tranquil shores of Lake Norman to the pristine waters of Wrightsville Beach and the peaceful vibes of Atlantic Beach, we've got you covered.So grab your shades and get ready for a beach adventure like no other!Key TakeawaysLake Norman is the closest nice beach to Charlotte and offers a mix of business centers and relaxing escapes.Wrightsville Beach is known for its pristine waters and complete amenities, making it a great option for beachgoers.Atlantic Beach offers a peaceful and less crowded beach alternative, perfect for those seeking tranquility.Lake Wylie provides a serene picnic and family time, with activities such as boating, fishing, and parks available.Lake Beaches in Charlotte AreaWe have extensively reviewed the lake beaches in the Charlotte area, including Lake Norman and Lake Wylie, and found them to be highly recommended for their family-friendliness, safety, amenities, water quality, and accessibility.These lake beaches near Charlotte, NC offer a perfect getaway for families seeking relaxation and outdoor fun.Lake Norman, located in Cornelius, provides a picturesque setting with its clear blue waters and sandy shores. With a rating of 4/5 for family-friendliness, safety, amenities, water quality, and accessibility, Lake Norman offers something for everyone. Families can enjoy swimming, picnicking, and building sandcastles on its family-friendly beaches. Boating and fishing activities are also available, making it a great option for water enthusiasts.Lake Wylie, situated in Rock Hill, is another fantastic option for beachgoers in the Charlotte area. With a rating of 4/5 across all categories, Lake Wylie offers a peaceful and safe environment for families. The beaches here are well-maintained and provide ample space for relaxation and recreation. Visitors can enjoy swimming, kayaking, and paddleboarding in its calm waters. The lake also offers parks and picnic areas, providing additional amenities for families to enjoy.Overall, these lake beaches in the Charlotte area are highly recommended for their family-friendly atmosphere, safety measures, amenities, water quality, and accessibility. Whether you're looking for a relaxing day by the water or an exciting outdoor adventure, Lake Norman and Lake Wylie are the best beaches near Charlotte, NC to fulfill your desires.Ocean Beaches in North CarolinaLet's explore the beautiful ocean beaches in North Carolina and discover their family-friendliness, safety, amenities, water quality, and accessibility. When it comes to the distance between Charlotte and the beach, many people wonder how far it is. Well, the good news is that there are several stunning beaches that are within a few hours' drive from Charlotte.One popular beach destination is Wrightsville Beach, which is approximately 215 miles east of Charlotte. Known for its family-friendliness and beautiful shoreline, Wrightsville Beach offers a wide range of amenities, including lifeguards, restrooms, and parking facilities. The water quality here is excellent, making it a perfect spot for swimming and enjoying water activities.Another beach worth mentioning is Atlantic Beach, which is located approximately 290 miles east of Charlotte. This beach offers a peaceful and less crowded alternative to some of the more popular tourist destinations. It boasts clean waters, soft sands, and a variety of amenities such as beachfront rentals, restaurants, and shops.If you're looking for a closer beach option, Emerald Isle is situated on the same barrier island as Atlantic Beach and is approximately 285 miles east of Charlotte. This family-oriented beach offers stunning white sand, clear blue waters, and an abundance of beach amenities. It's also home to excellent family resorts, providing a perfect setting for a fun-filled vacation.Outer Banks: A Coastal ParadiseWe frequently dream about visiting the Outer Banks, a coastal paradise known for its beautiful beaches and rich history. The Outer Banks is located on North Carolina's eastern coast and consists of a 200-mile string of barrier islands. It offers more than 100 miles of shoreline, making it a haven for beach lovers. But what sets the Outer Banks apart from other beach destinations? Let's take a closer look:Outer BanksOther BeachesNatural BeautyStunning beachesBeautiful beachesRich HistoryCivil War battlegroundsHistorical sitesUnique GeographyBarrier islandsIsland experiencesWater ActivitiesSurfing, fishingKayaking, sailing, fishingFamily-Friendliness4/54/5Safety4/54/5Amenities4/54/5Water Quality4/54/5Accessibility4/54/5The Outer Banks offers a perfect blend of natural beauty and history. Whether you want to relax on the beach, explore historical sites, or engage in water activities, the Outer Banks has it all. And with its family-friendly atmosphere and high safety ratings, it's an ideal destination for a memorable vacation. So, if you're looking for a coastal paradise with beautiful beaches and a rich history, the Outer Banks should be at the top of your travel bucket list.Other Ocean Beaches Worth ExploringThere are several other ocean beaches worth exploring, such as Emerald Isle and Kure Beach, which offer stunning white sand and clear blue waters. These beaches provide a perfect setting for a family vacation or a relaxing getaway.Here are five other ocean beaches that are definitely worth exploring:Emerald Isle: Situated on the same barrier island as Atlantic Beach, Emerald Isle offers stunning white sand and clear blue waters. It's a family-oriented beach destination with an abundance of beach amenities and excellent family resorts.Kure Beach: Located at Pleasure Island, Kure Beach boasts a beautiful and well-maintained shoreline. It's the perfect setting for family vacations and outdoor concerts. The vibrant community spirit is evident with art shows and farmers markets. Plus, it's in close proximity to Fort Fisher State Recreation Area and Historic Site.Ocean Isle Beach: As the southernmost barrier island in North Carolina, Ocean Isle Beach spans seven miles along the Atlantic. It features powder white sand and clean water. This small seaside town offers museums, seafood restaurants, and summer activities planned for kids.Carolina Beach: Known as a vibrant beach town, Carolina Beach has a wide coastline and is the best beach for swimming near Charlotte. With lifeguards on duty and calm waves, it's perfect for families. The beach boardwalk offers amusement park rides and food stands, and the nearby state park features trails with carnivorous plants.Bald Head Island: Located in North Carolina, Bald Head Island offers a unique island experience. With beautiful beaches and nature preserves, it's a haven for nature lovers. Limited development and commercialization create a serene atmosphere, and the island is accessible only by ferry or private boat.These ocean beaches provide a variety of experiences, from family-friendly amenities to serene natural beauty. Whether you're looking for a fun-filled vacation or a peaceful escape, these beaches near Charlotte, NC have something for everyone.Beaches Beyond North Carolina: Nearby OptionsExploring beaches beyond North Carolina, we discovered nearby options with stunning white sand and clear blue waters. One such option is Hilton Head Island, a historic resort city in South Carolina. With its 12 scenic miles of shoreline, Hilton Head offers a variety of beach activities for everyone to enjoy. Coligny Beach Park is particularly safe for kids, and there's even a museum and wildlife refuge to explore.Another nearby option is Myrtle Beach, the tourist hub of the Grand Strand. This 60-mile string of nice beaches is an iconic destination for all generations. Families can enjoy water parks and amusement parks for some fun in the sun. And when you're done with the beach, there are plenty of cultural spots to explore.If you're looking for a quieter and more serene atmosphere, Folly Beach, located just south of Charleston, is the perfect choice. This charming beach offers a peaceful escape and is ideal for beach and camping adventures. You can even go on eco-tours to explore the estuaries and marshlands or take a boat ride to watch dolphins.Lastly, for a unique island experience, Bald Head Island in North Carolina is worth a visit. With its beautiful beaches and nature preserves, this island is a haven for nature lovers. The limited development and commercialization make it a peaceful retreat, and it's only accessible by ferry or private boat.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Are Some Popular Water Activities Available at Lake Norman and Lake Wylie?At Lake Norman and Lake Wylie, there are plenty of popular water activities to enjoy. From boating and fishing to kayaking and swimming, these lakes offer something for everyone. Whether you want to relax on a pontoon boat or explore the calm waters on a paddleboard, the options are endless.Both lakes also have parks and picnic areas, making them perfect for a fun-filled day with family and friends. So grab your sunscreen and get ready for some water-filled adventures!Are There Any Historical Sites or Landmarks to Visit Near Wrightsville Beach and Atlantic Beach?Yes, there are historical sites and landmarks to visit near Wrightsville Beach and Atlantic Beach.Wrightsville Beach is home to Fort Fisher State Historic Site, which played a significant role in the Civil War. It offers guided tours and exhibits to explore the area's rich history.Atlantic Beach is close to the Fort Macon State Park, which features a well-preserved Civil War-era fort and offers educational programs and exhibits.Both beaches offer a perfect blend of beach relaxation and cultural exploration.Are There Any Restrictions or Regulations for Beachgoers at the Outer Banks?When it comes to the Outer Banks, beachgoers will be happy to know that there are certain restrictions and regulations in place to ensure everyone's safety and enjoyment.For example, driving on the beach is only allowed in certain areas and during specific times.There are also rules regarding beach fires, camping, and pets.It's important to check with local authorities or visit the official Outer Banks website for the most up-to-date information on these regulations.What Are Some Unique Features or Attractions of Emerald Isle and Kure Beach?Emerald Isle and Kure Beach have some unique features and attractions.Emerald Isle is situated on the same barrier island as Atlantic Beach and offers stunning white sand and clear blue waters. It's known for its family-oriented amenities and abundance of beach amenities.Kure Beach, located at Pleasure Island, boasts a beautiful and well-maintained shoreline. It's the perfect setting for family vacations and outdoor concerts. The vibrant community spirit with art shows and farmers markets adds to its charm.What Are Some Family-Friendly Activities or Attractions Near Ocean Isle Beach and Carolina Beach?When it comes to family-friendly activities near Ocean Isle Beach and Carolina Beach, there are plenty of options to keep everyone entertained.At Ocean Isle Beach, you can enjoy summer activities planned specifically for kids, such as sandcastle building competitions and beach games.Carolina Beach, on the other hand, offers a vibrant beach town atmosphere with a wide coastline for swimming. You can also explore the beach boardwalk with amusement park rides and food stands or visit the nearby state park featuring trails with carnivorous plants.ConclusionAnd there you have it, folks! We've taken you on a virtual tour of the best beaches near Charlotte, NC.From the tranquil lakeshores to the breathtaking ocean vistas, there's a beach for everyone's taste.So pack your bags, gather your loved ones, and embark on a beach adventure like no other. With our insider tips and comprehensive rating system, you're sure to create unforgettable memories.So don't wait, grab your flip flops and head to the beaches near Charlotte for a truly epic getaway! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 21:08 Old-Blood3542 I just don't know what to do with myself.
19 male-identifying guy here. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I've fell down holes of mindlessly watching self-help and therapy videos, dating advice, spending most of the day watching these so-called advice videos and threads to make me feel like I'm helping myself. I've managed to keep healthy habits like journaling and meditating, having a gym routine, and I have a part-time job. At the end of the day though, I simply feel completely empty. I have no girlfriend, no close friends. The only thing that stirs me is music and the occasional 420, as I simultaneously feel like I'm waiting for my life to "truly" begin.
Things I have been going over in my head every day the past few months:
What do I value?
Music, playing it, listening, discussing it. But I've heard endlessly that everybody loves music, it's not a hobby, it's a human characteristic. Writing. But it's difficult for me to write anything when my life is so meaningless. I know I love it, when I was in a better headspace I was great at it. Now I feel much more lost. Friendship. But my friends flip-flop between treating me well and treating me like shit. That's when I even see any of them, they're not close. Love. But I've been struggling in that department after making severe mistakes a year ago, losing the only person who has truly loved me, and often feels like will ever love me.
"Do what you love."
Be realistic, what year is it? That's not a viable option anymore. If I ever want to own a house, retire at a reasonable age, be comfortable, I'll be sticking with my STEM major. I can't write or do music as anything more than a hobby. And I have no motivation to do those things anymore anyways, since I'm not really living life anyways.
"Put yourself out there."
I have forced myself to sign up for a frisbee program in my area. Never played frisbee before, just wanted to do something. I have about a month til it starts. I feel like I'll just be the depressed guy there that no one really talks to. I tried getting into my local DIY concert scene. Nobody would talk to me, and I certainly wasn't going to take the risk to talk to them. I don't really know what else I could do. Signing up for things feels great, I just have to wait a month before they actually start at which point I've lost my zeal and probably end up quitting after a few days.
I guess the only good thing I can say is I'm alive, and I want to live. I don't know who to talk to.
submitted by Old-Blood3542 to therapy [link] [comments]
Things I have been going over in my head every day the past few months:
What do I value?
Music, playing it, listening, discussing it. But I've heard endlessly that everybody loves music, it's not a hobby, it's a human characteristic. Writing. But it's difficult for me to write anything when my life is so meaningless. I know I love it, when I was in a better headspace I was great at it. Now I feel much more lost. Friendship. But my friends flip-flop between treating me well and treating me like shit. That's when I even see any of them, they're not close. Love. But I've been struggling in that department after making severe mistakes a year ago, losing the only person who has truly loved me, and often feels like will ever love me.
"Do what you love."
Be realistic, what year is it? That's not a viable option anymore. If I ever want to own a house, retire at a reasonable age, be comfortable, I'll be sticking with my STEM major. I can't write or do music as anything more than a hobby. And I have no motivation to do those things anymore anyways, since I'm not really living life anyways.
"Put yourself out there."
I have forced myself to sign up for a frisbee program in my area. Never played frisbee before, just wanted to do something. I have about a month til it starts. I feel like I'll just be the depressed guy there that no one really talks to. I tried getting into my local DIY concert scene. Nobody would talk to me, and I certainly wasn't going to take the risk to talk to them. I don't really know what else I could do. Signing up for things feels great, I just have to wait a month before they actually start at which point I've lost my zeal and probably end up quitting after a few days.
I guess the only good thing I can say is I'm alive, and I want to live. I don't know who to talk to.
2024.05.14 20:55 kaleidoscopekittyy Pedicure dayyy for these little flip flopped toesss!! What color should I get?!
 | submitted by kaleidoscopekittyy to flipflopfeet [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 20:48 Canitrusthimagain674 Looking for separation advice
I’m looking for some advice from partners that chose to separate right after their first or second Dday- either living in two different homes or within the house. Did it help? Were you able to support his recovery while living with him or did you need to physically live separately?
My (34m) husband of five years has evidently been struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors, mostly porn for over 10 years and I just found out the fullextent of it and how bad it’s been about 2 1/2 weeks ago. I immediately asked for us to separate and he’s been staying elsewhere and also looking for an apartment. He’s told me that after he finds a place he’ll be getting scheduled with a CSAT and he has referrals to reach out to from a couples counselor we were seeing just a month ago. He’s letting me check his phone and devices if I feel the need to and we installed accountability software. but that’s really all he’s said so far about what he’s going to do to recover and work on himself. I’ve read the betrayal bind and your brain on porn by Gary Wilson and I do feel like I understand how this addiction started. He was physically and emotionally abused as a child and has had ADHD for most of his life. Evidently this makes him very susceptible to this addiction. I understand but I’m so heartbroken and it feels hopeless.
Most of the times we’ve tried to talk the last 2 weeks It’s turned into a huge argument and I’m left sobbing on my own. We have one toddler and are having to co-parent and he’s been very helpful but it’s all been so hard and stressful. But last night we set boundaries and took a break from it all and had a great evening together and it’s making me doubt whether we need to live separately. It’s honestly making me doubt all of my decisions. living separately is going to be a huge extra expense financially because I’ve been a stay at home mom and the cost-of-living is so high where we live. I don’t know what to do. I just constantly need space and then I want him around and I flip flop between anger and loneliness…I feel crazy some days. This was/is a huge shock for me. I can’t believe I didn’t catch him sooner.
How long does it take to feel stable again? Any advice? I have my own therapist and I’m also starting to see a CSAT at the end of the month. My close friends and my siblings know and I’m getting support. I just don’t feel capable of working right now but I’m also not sure if I’m capable of living with him right now.
submitted by Canitrusthimagain674 to loveafterporn [link] [comments]
My (34m) husband of five years has evidently been struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors, mostly porn for over 10 years and I just found out the fullextent of it and how bad it’s been about 2 1/2 weeks ago. I immediately asked for us to separate and he’s been staying elsewhere and also looking for an apartment. He’s told me that after he finds a place he’ll be getting scheduled with a CSAT and he has referrals to reach out to from a couples counselor we were seeing just a month ago. He’s letting me check his phone and devices if I feel the need to and we installed accountability software. but that’s really all he’s said so far about what he’s going to do to recover and work on himself. I’ve read the betrayal bind and your brain on porn by Gary Wilson and I do feel like I understand how this addiction started. He was physically and emotionally abused as a child and has had ADHD for most of his life. Evidently this makes him very susceptible to this addiction. I understand but I’m so heartbroken and it feels hopeless.
Most of the times we’ve tried to talk the last 2 weeks It’s turned into a huge argument and I’m left sobbing on my own. We have one toddler and are having to co-parent and he’s been very helpful but it’s all been so hard and stressful. But last night we set boundaries and took a break from it all and had a great evening together and it’s making me doubt whether we need to live separately. It’s honestly making me doubt all of my decisions. living separately is going to be a huge extra expense financially because I’ve been a stay at home mom and the cost-of-living is so high where we live. I don’t know what to do. I just constantly need space and then I want him around and I flip flop between anger and loneliness…I feel crazy some days. This was/is a huge shock for me. I can’t believe I didn’t catch him sooner.
How long does it take to feel stable again? Any advice? I have my own therapist and I’m also starting to see a CSAT at the end of the month. My close friends and my siblings know and I’m getting support. I just don’t feel capable of working right now but I’m also not sure if I’m capable of living with him right now.
2024.05.14 20:28 Wardez Ran a throwing net using TechDisc to track stats all week at LVC. Here's a data dump!
 | There were over 3,000 throws! The data set I'm posting here I kept to 2,000 throws since that's the limit of the throws page (unless someone can tell me a better way to open that up). And it's for throws from Tuesday the 7th of May till Saturday the 11th. I didn't include Sunday because we had a lot less action on that day. submitted by Wardez to discgolf [link] [comments] The net was open to anyone and everyone who wanted to try it. We had a leaderboard and fun stuff setup like DDO island challenges and driving range top golf bullseye stuff. Was really fun. But for me, as a nerd who loves stats, it was fascinating running the throwing net and watching everyone's approach to throwing with TechDisc. For a lot of people, I'd say around 85% it was their first time ever throwing one. I've had a TD since October of last year so I was happy to step up to help run it. Some takeaways I had:
Thanks for reading, enjoy the screengrabs I got, and let me know if there are any other detailed stats or sets you'd like to see! https://preview.redd.it/9hwugaunqf0d1.png?width=1381&format=png&auto=webp&s=fb8dabf9da85bbe46554dca81cf241cc992f0ac2 https://preview.redd.it/8zkleltnqf0d1.png?width=1369&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d4f90e968528e2c33048e74d3f4b17be054cd59 https://preview.redd.it/6wgnmhtnqf0d1.png?width=1458&format=png&auto=webp&s=aacc1ddd9d66cd8ce26078b57f98a63c468a991c |