Before late 2023, I used to listen to music on Spotify like 8-10 hours everyday. But after 2024, I've started using YouTube instead due to how bad Spotify has gotten over the years.
The most noticeable difference is the ads. God, I've hated the ads ever since I've started using Spotify, but it is only getting worse. Nowadays, you get increasingly more ads on Spotify, 1 ad per 2-3 songs. And every single one of them is a goddamn 30 seconds long ear-rape about craps that I don't even care about. It's even worse on mobile when most of the time, you get two of them back to back every time you have an ad break. On YouTube, you get a lot less ads, about one every 3-7 videos. They sound a lot easier on the ears, and half of the time it's about things that I do know or do care about, and they are skippable after 3-5 seconds, otherwise, they last for about 10 seconds at most.
Next up, the utilities. Yeah, yeah, there is almost no difference regarding this on PC. But it's really bad on mobile. On Spotify, you can't loop playlists, you can't loop a single song, you can't do normal listening and forced to be in a shuffle with bad algorithm, and you can't listen to your playlist again when it has ended, which is extra irritating when your playlist is short (i.e. about 10-15 songs). Hell you can't even skip more than like, what? 6 times per hour? While all of this is completely available for free on YouTube. And recently, they've removed the ability to see the lyrics for Spotify Free. Sure, YouTube never has built-in lyrics, but many videos still have lyrics enabled through the video itself or through subtitles. Or you can take a bit more time and see the lyrics in the video's description or in the comment section.
And what's better than an unsatisfying listening session on mobile due to being forced to use bad-algorithm'ed-shuffle? Yeah, that's right. Bad recommendations. After you're done listen to all of the songs in your playlist, you are usually forced to recommended songs that Spotify thought to be "similar" to the songs in your playlist. Half of the time, they are bad, just bad. And you thought that the "-" button in the bottom would work to make songs and/or artists like that appear less on your recommendations, right? Well then, screw yourself because it does not. You still get the same crappy song and artist, it doesn't matter how many times you try pressing that "-", nothing changes at all, at least until you remove the so called "similar" song in your playlist. I especially had this issue when I had the song "Christmas Truce" by Sabaton in my playlist. When the recommendations come, half of them is filled with really bad "epic"-Christmas-rock/metal songs from that one random band that I don't even know about. And it just keep on appearing no matter how many times I skipped that song or pressed the "-" button.
Maybe, you thought that using Spotify would be easier on your battery and internet because it only runs in the background, especially when your phone is screen off, and only uses audio, right? Well, my experience completely contradicts that. For mobile, many times on my 15-minutes listening sessions while only having Spotify running and the screen is completely off. Spotify would consume up to 5% of battery. That's 1% every 3 minutes, comparable to the game Honkai: Star Rail, which uses 1% every 2.5 minutes. And Honkai: Star Rail has many CPU and GPU-intensive processes for game calculations, assets loading, graphics and audio going on. Meanwhile, if I only has YouTube running on 240p, the video minimized and the screen brightness is set to lowest, it would take YouTube from 1 hour to 1.5 hours to consume the same 5%. That is a 300% to 500% difference in efficiency. And the audio quality of Spotify bares almost no difference to that of a 240p YouTube video. The situation is almost no different on PC. On the low-end laptop that I usually use, when YouTube is in the background, YouTube would use 0.5% CPU and about 250 MB RAM through out the listening session thank to sleeping tab feature on browsers, compared to Spotify 1-3% CPU and 250 MB RAM. The difference is almost ignorable most of the time, but it's really noticeable when I'm using resource-heavy apps. I gain about 15-20 FPS, or 30-50% increase when having YouTube sleeping instead of having Spotify in the background. Especially when the next song or ad break comes in, YouTube would have absolutely no problem handling this and the laptop would still run smoothly, but Spotify CPU consumption would just suddenly jump up to 10-25% on top of the already high resource consumption of resource-heavy apps and completely lags the crap out of whatever I'm doing for 2-8 seconds, which is extremely irritating. I once thought that Spotify would use less internet as it only uses audio, which it does, but not much at all. On 240p, which has comparable audio quality to that of Spotify, YouTube would use only about 1-5% more data than Spotify. As a 240p video isn't actually that much. And the advertisements on Spotify actually consumes a lot of data.
You do have to tell YouTube that you still want to continue listening at times or use split screen on mobile if you want to listen while doing something else. But it's worth the trouble for me.
Please note that this is only about YouTube and not YouTube Music.

Heya! These posts/introduction messages always feel awkward and forced for me 😅 so buckle up 🤪…
Let’s get what I’m looking for out of the way, as no sense in taking up more of your time if it’s obvious that we aren’t a fit.
What I’m seeking:
As of current, my primary interests align most with a FWB situation, but I am open to any form of connection that develops organically between us (including simple friendship). I’m relatively open with regard to availability, though in an ideal world you would be open to seeing each other 1-2+ times a week. I’m attracted to a wide range of personalities and body types, so it can be hard to relay my interests there and is usually best just to connect and see if we click or not. I guess in the end, I’m pretty flexible in my interest and desires.
It’s also important to note that I do not smoke or drink at all. I don’t judge if you do either, but I will say that being around cigarette smoke is likely to be a dealbreaker for me. As for weed, I hate the smell, so I just ask that you please avoid smoking it around me. Vapes are fine, just please don’t blow them in my direction as I personally don’t care to breath that in. Alcohol I have no problem being around in all capacities lol get plastered for all I care.
A bit about myself:
It’s always hard to gauge what to share to the world in “bios” like this..I’ll try to highlight some of my most prominent characteristics and details 🤷‍♂️.
Let’s start physical. I’m 6’7”, definitely a dad bod with a bit of a stomach, 33 years young, long brown curly-ish/wavy hair (admittedly facing some male pattern baldness at my forehead hairline, so doing what I can with what I’ve got while I can 🤷‍♂️), brown eyes, wear glasses (if that matters to you at all), maintain a beard at all times (take the hair where I can, right? 🤪🤷‍♂️), and wear a size 19 shoe (putting that out there as it’s always a shocker 😆). No, I never played basketball for any teams growing up, but did play pickup games often after high school. The weather is just fine “up here” 🤪. As for style, or lack thereof 😆, you’ll likely always see me in some form of graphic or plain T-shirt with likely some form of shorts (I love the cold and hate being hot) year round, though every now and then I’ll change it up with pants and/or pollos 🤷‍♂️. I want to be more stylish tbh, but I don’t have the eye for good style, I’m colorblind, and often don’t feel other styles would suit my looks 🤷‍♂️. Speaking of looks, standard bearded Caucasian nerd looking dude lol, though when people see me, they might be quick to assume I’m the standard white conservative Christian type, when in reality I’m far from such (curse the genetics and looks I was born into 😭).
Kink friendly, so any questions or curiosity around such please feel free to bring up and discuss with me further.
I think that’s a good start on physical attributes, let’s move on to the internal ish…
Gah this section is much tougher to fill out 😅. Look, I just love just about everybody, will generally give everybody the time of day and benefit of doubt, can strike up a convo with just about anyone (though sometimes I need the other person to engage the start of that convo 😅), and would do my best to help and protect anyone around. I just want the best for everyone, ya know? I’d say i lean more extroverted, but do battle a moderate amount of social anxiety that im sure you’ve picked up on by now..you’d likely think im more introverted with how often I stay home and how little I randomly reach out to friends/others. It’s not that I don’t love getting out and about and don’t care to talk to my friends, I just get so caught up in my day to day life that it just doesn’t cross my mind, OR I get social anxiety (especially if I haven’t spoken to someone in a long time, I always worry they think I don’t care about them and our friendship).
Beyond this, it’s hard to list my other qualities, so I’ll just move on to interests and maybe that’ll help highlight more?
My Interests:
Can’t help but feel kind of boring and basic when filling out this section 😅. I feel like it’s a lot of what most people list as their interests and that my list is small/limited/boring. Travel Culture/language Food Music (very large and eclectic taste in music) Gaming of any form (video, board, etc) Puzzles/challenges/sports (I love a good challenge, so huge kudos if you are competitive) Technology (always fascinating what we are making in this world) I’d like to learn to dance but right now I’m very self conscious about my terrible dancing (I feel awkward 😔)
Disinterests: Low hanging ceiling fans and light fixtures 🤪
Details regarding my current Poly configuration:
I’m happily married with one child. If I do take on any new partners I never expect you to take on any form of relationship or responsibility for the rest of my family beyond just maintaining a safe space through proxy. My wife and I practice kitchen table Poly, so we are completely open to everyone happily interacting together, but if you aren’t comfortable interacting with the rest of my family no problem! Ask if you have any further questions on how we Poly ethically, happy to answer any questions!
Anyways, I’ve made this long enough…if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read my post to entirety! Even if we aren’t meant to connect, you and your time are greatly appreciated! Sending my warmest regards and a friendly virtual hug ❤️.

Just something I've been wondering. Do you think having GDM and developing an eating disorder post partum are related? As someone who has always struggled with my relationship with food and toxic diet culture I've noticed that GDM brings up a lot of tough issues for me. I'd like to see research done on those who had GDM and their likelihood of developing an eating disorder post partum. While on this diet/navigating this diagnosis these are the tough issues I've encountered that bring up a lot of buried feelings about food

1. Constantly thinking about food
   
2. Hyper focus on nutritional labels, servings, calories and grams
   
3. Exercising more than I'd like to because I feel like I have to
   
4. Shame or guilt after eating
   
5. Using toxic words when labeling foods like "good vs bad"
   
6. Feeling like a failure if I get a high number (vs feeling like a failure if I didn't lose weight)
   

Just some things to consider - as if making your way through the newborn phase wasn't tough enough, pay attention to your attitude towards food. Talk to a support person about your thoughts and feelings and try to identify a negative pattern if one starts to emerge. I've already alerted my spouse that I'm having some troubles mentally with this.

My MIL has been pushing boundaries my entire relationship with my husband. We've been together going on 11 years. Sometimes I think she's just dense and can't read the room, and sometimes I think she is conniving and manipulating. I still haven't figured it out. I find it incredibly hard she can’t read a room and hand common sense. We have a 3 month old, our first, and I feel she constantly is taking opportunities away from me. She watches him sometimes while I have to go to work, which is a godsend because it is free and I feel more comfortable with him there vs a daycare with people I don't know, but I still get miffed about the absolutely bizarre things she does. When I was pregnant she got my husband a Father's Day gift from our UNBORN/UNNAMED child and wrote him a card from our baby... I had not even had the chance to get him anything yet before she gave it to him. Today when my husband picked our son up (he was off work before me) he came home with a cake that our son "made him" for his birthday... (his birthday is tomorrow). It says "happy birthday daddy <3 -our child's name-". I am SO freaking annoyed and pissed. Am I overreacting? I've tried my best to make boundaries before (for example asking her to NOT get our son an insane amount of gifts and keep it at MAX 5, she still pushes this envelope, and during Christmas time to not get him and gifts from Santa as that is something my husband and I would just like us to do). Any help on how I can tell her to please stop gifting things on behalf of my son?? I feel like I’m losing my mind 🥴😵‍💫

I'm a bisexual woman and from the beginning I met him and thought he was gay however he always refers to himself as straight. I always knew that this guy had had an experience with a boy we met thanks to a friend of ours and everything was ok, I said welp "it was something he would do to experiment and that's it". No biggie since this experience was before we met. So we started dating, and everything is so good he asks me to be his girlfriend and I say yes. After a while I found out that he made out not only with this guy but that he made out with several, including trans girls in different situations (at parties, at work, etc.), he used to have a Grindr account, and although he denies it to me I believe that he fucked with the first boy I talk about since they had several encounters in which supposedly this boy went down on him only. I got to see the conversation on IG with this boy and, apart from treating him with words like "baby boy, cutie, little prince" etc., my boyfriend was also like the horniest of the two and I doubt that the other boy, being a bottom had refused to get into it.
At first we had good sex and several times a day since we don't live together, but lately he's finding it more and more difficult to get a hard on. I also discovered that he really likes anal play (yes, in his anus), but not only he loves when I lick it or finger play but he has a dildo, a plug and they both go in very easily. I pegged him too and he loved it. We have been together for 3 months and we play like this at least once a month. I did not like it that much but I have always been open to experimenting and also make him feel pleased.
It's hard for me to cum and he has told me that this frustrates him. I have explained to him since I come from having relationship and sex with women he needs more foreplay or for example, I like him to give me oral sex better before penetration and not after and at first he remembers but then he seems to forget the things I like and since he having hard time to get an erection when he gets it he only wants to get inside me as fast as he can to try to cum. This has caused us trouble and I think we are going to break up.
He seems to have a hard time getting erections with me lately but then he masturbastes to bisexual porn 🤷🏼 and probably also gay porn but will not admit it. What do you think?

So me and my ex had a great relationship however it was definitely not perfect he made mistakes I made too. I forgave his mistakes when it came to my mistakes he didn't. I definitely wanted things to work out with him and he did not but that's also okay. For two months I felt him fading away and this year january he broke up with me eventhough I had seen that coming but it hurt me really bad.
But even on that day when he was broke up he wanted to have a fwb sorta relationship because he said this is something that is what I want. Tbh, I could not say anything because I kinda wanted to be close with him because am emotionally attached to him so I agreed to that situation. Afterwards I felt horrible and told him multiple times to let me go he never agreed and kept saying we should be "friends". I cannot say no to that I do not have that strength. In my heart it creates hope that staying in contact would help me restore the relationship I do not know whether that is happening or not because he has strictly said to not talk about it or anything related to our past.
During the relationship I neglected my career to a great extent and being a career oriented person I am starting out with my MBA this year working towards my goal creating a better future for me. I also need to work on my anxious attachment style which caused a lot of issues in the past relationship so I do not want to date anybody other than if my ex comes back during these two years and am intending to go through and tolerate this entire fwb situation with my ex its not what my values agree with but I cannot also say I hate this feeling because I love my ex but am not even allowed to express my emotions now. I think he knows exactly how I feel. I don't initiate meet ups/texts/calls with him he does that like maybe 3-4 times a month.
I plan on asking him to get back after two years and if he does not agrees to it I will block him and will tell him very clearly again to not stay in touch in any shape/form, and I will not also agree to it I know I will have the strength to cut him off that time.
However, as of now I am seeing he is following multiple people on instagram (we do not follow each other so I do not know if those are girls or guys or something else entirely) but its kinda scares me what if he finds someone to be in a relationship with while all this time keeping me as an option. I don't want to be in that situation neither am I able to get away from this loop.
I also feel tremendous guilt because I think I ruined my perfect relationship with this perfect person because of some things related to my anxious attachment style which was caused by my multiple toxic relationships in life. I am not able to just forgive myself for ruining this relationship and this is a vicious painful cycle and I want to get out of that too.
So, I need help in figuring out how to feel bette break this loop. Also, I have seen a lot of helpless people in this sub so if anybody wants to vent out their situation please feel free to do the same. Send me a dm so that we can help each other by listening/ venting.

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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TL:DR - therapist more or less is telling me that I'm avoiding processing / coping because when I talk about my past I dismiss my problems by saying it could be worse / i've seen worse and it's not helping.
I feel like if I don't do this it's a pity party.
Also... anyone done brainspotting therapy? Thoughts?
I became estranged from the majority of the family that I grew up with (mother + step father and his entire family) around 3 years ago.
My childhood wasn't horrible, but I was constantly afraid of my step father. My younger brother (step fathers natural born son) has largely always been treated better than I was.
My step father has only addressed this once and more or less said I had more medical trouble as a kid and everything we were given as children was equal. If I'm in my best state of mind I can say that relationships aren't solely based off of monetary involvement and even if they were are we really going to take health conditions into account here?
Into adulthood I can say that my brother has 100% been given a TON of monetary support. When I brought this up to my mother, before she stopped speaking to me, she'd simply say that I never asked for help.
When I did ask for help...it was agreed upon only to be pulled away last minute and it put myself, wife and kids in a very tight spot.
I did talk therapy for about 1.5 years. Am now seeing a psych about once a month and they suggested I seek out EMDR therapy. I found someone but they suggested brainspotting. I've completed two sessions and I have to say it's surreal.
It feels like my thoughts and emotions have been a dripping faucet but when I'm brainspottting its on full blast. It's almost visceral at times. I am very hopeful that this helps me in the long term. I

Hello, I am 23 years old living in New York. I like playing soccer reading books on space and science, playing video game, watching movies, and listening to music. I would say kind caring and loving guy.
I am looking for someone with whom can have a bond and share anything and everything ,talk about our day. Who likes to call and talk. I want someone who is obsessive and possessive with me. I am possessive bf . Someone who wants to go on romantic dates or sometimes spend the day cuddling in bed, and watching movies or shows. I will give you all my attention, and make you the happiest girl in the world I don’t have a lot of requirements for my girlfriend as long as you are sweet and kind. I am loyal and looking for a long term relationship. I am loyal to the core that if I am with you, no other girl exist for me. I only want you. I also have a lot of ideas for dates that we could go on.
If any of this interest you feel free to drop me a chat. To hear from you soon and have a great day.

ASalaam Alaykom everyone! My Husband and I recently started the Muslim Marriage Podcast where we talk about healthy relationships from a Muslim lens. The first two episodes, the Talking Stage and the First Year are already up, and new ones will be available on Thursdays In Shaa Allah.
I'll post the links below (mod approved). Please feel free to share them with friends and family.
Here is a link to our YouTube Channel:
https://youtube.com/@themuslimmarriagepodcast?si=dMLbKLwSMVAuAKXR
And for Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/0xlyjP8qM7mv2YRcdWWmeh?si=G1SlwmgfS8O_KtvY031j4w
All feedback and topic suggestions are welcome!

Disclaimer: please be gentle lol I’m having a hard time
So last year, my husband temporarily left me for meta saying he loved them more than me after their first date. We went back and forth, he broke up with me a total of 6 times in about 2 months. He was having a lot of personal and mental health struggles, so I tried my best to be patient. Then once he figured himself out things got a lot better. We opted to work on ourselves and our relationship before bringing anyone else into the picture to be affected by this. We did couples therapy, workbooks, individual therapy, and got our meds adjusted. Things were very good.
Now we’ve recently started actively trying dating again, and he’s acting the same way he did in the lead up to leaving. Meaning: poor communication, moving too quickly, only talking about polyamory with me rather than having normal convos, rapidly by the hour changing his opinions (deleting and regaining dating apps, saying he still wants to work on himself for a bit but then I see he’s on said dating apps again, and not telling me which one he’s doing) acting like he wants a free for all but wants to impose rules onto me, etc.
I’m convinced he will leave me again, and I do feel pretty secure in myself, but it’s hard to feel secure in a relationship that ACTUALLY happened in, including the fact that he said there’s an (extremely small) chance it will happen again. Also, I’m worried that the behavior he’s having will lead to it’s own issues even if he never does leave again. I feel like my trust for him is almost gone completely. I completely understand that he has mental health struggles and I do not want to blame him entirely because this behavior isn’t “him”, but it is getting tiring to be in fear all the time. I love him so much, but being poly is deeply important to me and I do not want to go back to monogamy.
What do I do? Have any of you been through something similar?

David agreed to organise another search party in the following week, and another in the week after that. It comforted Lee to know he was at least doing something to look out for her, even if she wasn't here to realise it. If he couldn't have Clementine back, something he hated the very thought of, he needed to honour her. Her promises, her legacy, her meaning to him could not be forgotten — and neither could she.
They'd been out looking for hours. Since they set off at first light, the sun had circled in the sky and come back down once again, painting the already orange gates with a golden hue. It was tiresome and their feet ached with the aftermath of walking for miles on end, but it came with the satisfaction of knowing a bed was waiting for them back at the base. Though, he still felt a part of him missing. In a way it was almost like he'd earned the right to have found her, how after all this patience and all this time, shouldn't he be entitled to that payoff now? He walked along with his small group back into the gates, down-trodden. How was he to continue deceiving himself of hope when for all he knew, it was hopeless? That was something he berated himself for even thinking. She had to be out there somewhere, of course she was.
"Open the gates," he called to the person on watch. The large wall of rust and metal creaked, revealing their sanctuary. AJ would be in the nursery, probably colouring wildly on a paper, anticipating just as much as Lee was for when they could retire to their home of the living quarters for a good night's rest.
Ava rushed out of the gate towards Lee in a hurry, not slowing down for a second. "Lee!"
"Hey, Ava. What's-"
"She's back."
He opened his mouth, to exclaim with delight, to ask where she was, maybe to burst into tears — everything, every sound and colour, seemed to jump into existence all of a sudden. His legs weren't worn down with fatigue any longer, and they called for him to start running. Where to, he didn't know, but he needed to see where she was. That's when he heard her voice again, something he realised was a greater privilege than he ever remembered, and stopped in his tracks.
"Lee." Clementine appeared behind Ava, leaning out to look at him. She looked at him with her eyes wide, her mouth that opened in shock turning into a wide grin. She ran towards him and enveloped him in a hug.
"You're back! You're okay, sweetpea!" He said, the words sounding imaginary even to him. "I missed you, Clem. I was so worried about what happened while you were gone. You- you've grown a bit taller." He could hardly believe his eyes, but they didn't lie or show any falsities: just, for once, the light in his reality. Ava smiled at the two of them, crossing her arms comfortably.
Clementine laughed, pricks of teardrops forming in the corners of her eyes. "I tried to get back to you so many times. I- There was so much going on. I didn't know what to do, I-" She hugged him again, burying her head in his shirt to mask her tears. "They said AJ's okay. He's going to be okay, Lee. He'll live." Her voice was muffled and shaky but pitched with glee, with relief and with joy. It appeared she was in just as much disbelief as well.
"I know, Clem. He's better now. They helped him."
"About time," she said quietly, though she smiled.
"Let's go inside the gates, come on. How did you get here? Did you have any help?" he asked, a million thoughts swimming through his mind.
She nodded. “I found people who wanted to help. Lots of people. The ones I came here with were put into quarantine for bites — they only let me out here because they knew you were looking for me.” Then she stopped in her tracks, both taking the time to survey the surroundings and glance at Lee. “You never stopped?”
“Never.”
Clementine grinned up at him. "I knew you wouldn't." Her smile then faded, but the glimmer in her eyes remained: whatever she was troubled by, she seemed to hold onto some hope, or at least she did now that Lee was there. "Lee, I have to talk to you."
"What's going on? Is something wrong?" He watched for her reaction cautiously. When she didn't move, he asked again. "Are you in danger?"
She shook her head and began walking further away, slowly down the unfamiliar streets of New Richmond. "Not here. We need to go somewhere quiet."
Something in Lee felt disturbed again. It should all be over by now, with Clementine reunited with him and AJ better than ever. By all means, they shouldn't have any more problems to deal with. Sure it was unrealistic, but hadn't they earned the right? It was like danger was hanging over his shoulder, eyeing his every move and ready to step in.
"Let's go to the nursery, okay? No-one should be around to hear us around now, and besides, you should see him." He placed his hand on Clementine's shoulder, kneeling down to her level. "He’s really missed you, you know."
"He- he did?" She whispered. The smile on her face revealed she had no doubt he would feel otherwise, but just hearing this was like the first melodic tune after a lifetime of silence.
He nodded.
She rubbed hastily at her eyes again. "Take me to him, please."
...
She sniffled, masking the tears she was choking back as she looked down upon a sleeping AJ inside a crib. "I never would've thought...I mean, even you, I thought we might never get to see each-other again. But I was always so scared for AJ. I knew you could handle things, but he was- he's so little, Lee. I didn't know if he could take much more." The drops cascaded down her face, and she turned her head sharply towards the ceiling to stop them from falling. She breathed in deeply and looked back at the toddler one more time. "My little goofball."
"He was tough."
"That's for sure."
"Lingard helped us out."
Her head propped up again and she wore an intense expression. "He did?"
"Of course he did. He found more antibiotics, and he's going to be taking them for a few more weeks, and..." He stopped himself when he noticed her silence. It wasn't unlike her, but this was a different kind, the kind that silences even those outside of it. "I know you have your issues with what happened, Clem, and so do I — but he really did help. AJ is better now."
She shifted uncomfortably.
"Lingard is a good man," Lee continued.
"I'm not saying he wasn't. But Lee," she said, eyes darting to each side in turn. "We cannot trust them."
He looked confused. "What?" Just as he had begun to fully trust them, maybe more than he ever had in the time he had been with them, it came crashing down like it had before on that night of the plan. He wasn’t sure what to think anymore.
Clementine straightened herself up, preparing herself to explain. "I didn't leave for no reason, and it wasn't by choice. Joan forced me to leave."
"Joan forced you? Clem, are you sure-"
"I wouldn't lie to you, Lee!" she defended.
He held up his arms to ease her. "I know that. I'm just saying that if Joan wanted you gone then how come she's allowing you to walk free now?"
"I haven't seen Joan yet, and I don't think she knows I'm here, but I'm betting she's going to have something up her sleeve for when she finds out." Clementine rolled her eyes at the thought of the woman leading communications, being one of two council leaders she wasn't afraid to show her distaste for. "There's a lot that happened while I was gone. I didn't come here all by myself, for starters. I came with a group."
"Where are they?"
"They're getting quarantined somewhere, but I don't know where it is. I found them in a town called Prescott, and things got a little complicated along the way."
Lee had questions upon questions inside his head. "How so? I thought Prescott was a good town; they helped us out with supplies just a few days ago. Are you in trouble with them?"
She looked him directly in the eye, lowering her voice again. "No, Lee. They're in trouble with us. Prescott was raided by the New Frontier and burnt the place to the ground — one of the men I'm with, Javi, had his niece murdered, and we have a woman shot in the stomach. That's why I told them to come back here, to get her medical help."
At last, something at least seemed to ring a bell. "Javi and Kate?" He'd heard those names before. "They're-"
"David's brother and wife. We all met outside the gates." She nodded, a bitterness taking over her countenance. "I thought with his family in a state like this, he wouldn't turn us away. I still haven't forgotten about what he tried to do before I left. Besides, I came back because I knew that if you were still out there, you needed to know the truth about the others."
"Others?"
"I don't trust anyone in the New Frontier except you, Lee. The men who attacked Prescott are up to something, and we need to figure out what's going on."
"Slow down, Clem. I don't doubt you, I think something is going on, but not everyone might be involved. Ava and Paul have always looked out for us. Even David-"
"You think you can trust David? He's the last person I want to be around. I'm sure he's got something to do with all of this. We could've lost AJ forever because of him."
Lee rested his back against the wall in defeat. "Clem, this is a lot to take in."
She nodded, but still looked impatient. "I don't want to play it safe anymore, Lee. We have AJ safe and sound, we can leave right now."
"If you're right about people working against us in the New Frontier, then they'll spot us running off a mile away. I’m gonna take us to your group, okay? I need to talk with them."

I wrote mini reviews of each arc here, but because there are so damn many arcs, this ended up being a wall of text, despite me trying to keep them short. Feel free to skim or read only what interests you!
--
The episodic nature of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla means that its narrative is split into chunks. These chunks take place across the many shires of medieval England and vary in terms of length, depth and, well, pointlessness. I thought ranking them would be a fun exercise — a competition of story arcs, all vying for best Viking mini-narrative.
It goes without saying, but I’m about to spoil the whole damn game, so read at your own risk.
--
21. Wincestre
Wincestre is just another Lunden or Jorvik, accept with more Jesus, more King Aelfred and way less… anything worthwhile. This one was just a total nothing-burger of an experience. The fact that it comes so late in the narrative really hurts it, too, because by now you’ve experienced arcs that are a similar traditional Assassin’s Creed city-style that at least aren’t this bad. Aelfred’s turning on Eivor at the end also didn’t feel coherent, convincing or warranted to me. Big miss.
20. Lunden
The smaller, denser cities with multiple targets to track down and ‘social stealth’ options are certainly here to attempt to replicate the traditional AC experience, but Lunden fails to do so meaningfully, and even gets a huge points deduction for being misleading.
The arc is set up to feature twists with Stowe and Ercke (is one a traitor? Will your romancing of Stowe make things complicated?), but after their initial scenes they’re mitigated to what I would hardly even call side characters as Eivor unveils three randos as Order members, kills them and then leaves town. At least there was a cool boss sequence on the river?
19. Snotinghamscire
This arc sees you reunite with Hemmingr Jarl, his son Villi and his compatriot, Trygve. Eivor has an existing relationship with these characters, but the player doesn’t. As a result, nothing that happens with them lands meaningfully.
After Hemmingr passes, this arc boils down to running dull errands to prepare for the burial ceremony. Eivor chooses whether Villi or Trygve will succeed Hemmingr in the end, but the decision is very clear-cut and suggested to the player, lacking the nuance of the game’s other difficult decisions. This arc isn’t memorable, doesn’t concern the main quest, and feels like fluffy filler in the worst way.
18. Jorvik
Another version of the Lunden & Wincestre arcs, Jorvik is stronger than its competitors for presenting the Order members to your face before you deduce who they are. There was nothing shocking about their reveals, but each provided an interesting set piece to navigate during assassinations.
Problematically, the arc sets itself up for Eivor to accuse a traitor, only for her decision to not matter at all. You never get to act on your accusation at Yuletide — the Order member interrupts and attacks the feast no matter who you accuse.
17. Cent
The Cent arc sees Eivor team with Basim to track Fulke. It feels important and part of the main story, but it’s all for naught in the end — you come face-to-face with Fulke in what seems like a meaningful story moment, only for her to run away. Your reward is finding out Sigurd had his arm cut off.
This arc earns some points for getting Fulke screen time and tiptoeing the tightrope of Eivor and Basim’s rocky relationship believably, but certainly can’t be called good. This is because once you pull back the veil, you realize you never advanced the plot and were running in circles for nothing the entire time. At least the other “filler” arcs were forthright about their (lack of) connection to the main story.
16. Jotunheim
This arc has a compelling story to it — Odin running from his fate and bending over backwards to flee from it is interesting, his broken relationship with Loki should be a strong point for the arc, and his moral gray areas (sleeping with a Jotunn, betraying Tyr) certainly make for a complex character’s development.
It has the ingredients of a strong arc, but I just couldn’t shake the why am I doing this feeling I had the entire time. Everything in between Odin’s big moments is a fetch quest and I just felt like I was wasting my life.
This one is weird because on paper it feels like there’s a lot of substance here, but ultimately, I felt nothing while playing it besides contempt for having drank the potion in Ravensthorpe again.
15. Lincolnscire
Heir to the throne Hunwald is exiled from Lincoln and reaches out to Ravensthorpe for help. Eivor tracks down his sickly and dying father and then must cast the deciding vote for whom the new Ealdorman will be after his death.
The game wastes your time with one of Hunwald’s competitors, Aelfgar, (who is a dork) and paints the bishop as evil pretty clearly (he turns out to be an Order member). I suppose this arc could hit hard for someone who accidently put an Order member in charge. For that and for Hunwald at least having a strong drive and personality, this arc earns some marks.
14. Essex
Eivor is brought in to repair a marriage by separating husband and wife naturally without a public divorce. She reunites Ealdorman Birstan with his former lover and sets up a fake public kidnapping to whisk away his wife, Estrid.
I think many would rate this arc far lower than I have here because it is pure side mission nonsense — but for me, this arc stands strong on the backs of convincing and fun characters in Birstan and Estrid, as well as the tangled web of relationships between the two of them, Birstan’s son, and Rollo, Estrid’s former lover.
13. Ledecestrescire
Ledecestre sees the intros of Ivarr, Ubba and Ceowulf. You team up with the sons of Ragnar to help put Ceowulf’s father on the throne in Mercia.
Ledecestrescire earns points for strong, realized characters in the Ragnarsons and Ceowulf, a believable conflict with the Mercian king, as well as the arc’s biggest moment with killing or sparing Leofrith in Tamworth.
12. Asgard
Asgard looks pretty and hits hard when you first arrive. I appreciate Ubi for creating places like Atlantis and Asgard to run around and explore in.
Unfortunately, both felt supremely empty. However, watching Odin fight tooth and nail to run from his fate was satisfying and Loki is aptly deceptive and frustrating. The Builder gave the arc a nice wrinkle, too and climaxed with a nice boss fight.
I spent too much time tracking down tears, but I think if you look at just the main missions here, this is a solid experience in an incredible environment.
11. East Anglia
In this arc, Eivor works alongside Oswald to fend off violent Dane aggressors and claim his leadership role.
Oswald is honorable and likeable — watching him teach the Danes in his court that bravery can reveal itself in more nuanced ways rather than physically was powerful, and giving Eivor the decision to allow Oswald to fight his own battles or fight for him solidified the feeling of fathering Oswald through this arc into manhood and leadership.
I bought into this arc because I felt the story was touching and meaningful and the cast was strong.
10. Vinland
Nothing really happens here aside from hunting down Gorm Kjotveson, but the arc earns major points for how refreshing it is.
I played it late in the story when I was feeling quite a bit of fatigue towards the game and everything about Vinland just landed for me, giving me new energy to actually enjoy what I was doing.
The new landscape is insanely gorgeous and fun to navigate. The stripping down of Eivor’s equipment essentially forces you to start from scratch — but it really makes the four stealth encounters stronger; you have to approach them differently due to being unarmed and unarmored.
The whole thing was a little bit of a reset button for the entire experience of Valhalla and it sorely needed it.
9. Suthsexe
Suthsexe is the meeting with Guthrum and the rising action leading up to defeating Fulke.
The arc is fun, feels impactful as well as meaningful and sees you reunite with all the old friends you’ve made up to this point. Fighting alongside Soma and others was a big positive for me. Storming Fulke’s fort at least included some different mechanics than many forts up to this point, so it felt fresh. Her boss fight in the darkness of the crypts was exceptional, as was her confession sequence.
This arc was mostly good, satisfying fun the whole way through, but didn’t include too much intrigue as the ones ranked above it did.
8. Rygjafylke
Look, I’ll be honest. I’m writing this particular paragraph after completing the game and this opening section was so long ago that I don’t have a great memory of it.
What I do know is that Valhalla opened strongly. I found it all pretty compelling. I remember it being atmospheric, believable and driven by strong characters like Sigurd, Varin, Haytham, Basim and Kyotve. I was bought-in very early and Rygjafylke really got the game off to a strong start.
7. Hamtunscire & Epilogue
Aelfred screen time is a good thing, and this arc earns marks for his badassery in the face of Guthrum, as well as his manipulation of the Dane army. Ally deaths in the battle at Chepeham give the arc meaningful stakes and ratchet up the tension. This arc is brief and straightforward — there’s not much story to it since it’s really just war throughout the whole thing.
Afterwards, Eivor tracks down the final member of the Order and confronts him in a touching sequence over some burnt bread in a small swampy town in the middle of nowhere. It’s a humble conclusion for Aelfred and the swirling epic that was AC: Valhalla.
6. Hordafylke
The return to Norway contains two things: Eivor & Sigurd finding closure with Sigurd’s father, and the two locating “Yggdrasil.”
I quite enjoyed the pit stop with Sigurd’s father, and the entire Yggdrasil sequence was incredibly interesting. It was a refreshing change of pace from what you’ve been doing for the past 100 hours and featured a nice boss fight at the end. No matter which ending you get, the conversation with Sigurd after the dust settles is impactful and weighty.
5. Oxenefordscire
Finally reunited with Sigurd, this is the arc we learn of his obsession with his ancestry and true nature. Eivor’s reaction of discomfort and distrust towards Sigurd’s change is honest and relatable and she must juggle relations between Sigurd and the Thane they are working to put in charge, Gaedric.
Negotiations with King Aelfred are complex and a late intervention from Fulke reveals her true allegiance to the Order and puts Sigurd in enemy hands.
This arc moves the plot along moreso than the last 400 hours you’ve been playing the game, while also establishing and reinterpreting Eivor’s relations with the cast in meaningful ways. It ratchets up the tension of the main quest and narrative, which up to this point had been lagging behind due to a breadth of shire arcs.
4. Glowecestrecire
I’m so surprised to see myself rank this so high — after the first third of the arc, I was considering putting it in dead last. I felt Gunnar’s fiancé’s unintelligible dialogue, the trick-or-treating, the druid encounter, and Eivor’s 400th drunken night of debauchery to be a disrespectful waste of my time this deep (over 80 hours) into the game.
But then the arc turned, with two solid stealth encounters and a stellar boss fight. Navigating the Aelfwood was a gorgeous thrill and the confrontation with Modran is atmospheric and a fantastically fresh take on the typical Valhalla boss or mini boss fight.
When I decided to focus-up on the story and let the Celtic and Welsh mythos shine, the arc became a terrestrial fever dream of satisfying magic, intrigue and character interactions.
3. Grantebridgescire
Eivor looks to ally with Soma, the leader of Grantebridge, but her town’s just been sacked from the inside by a traitor. After saving her three companions in the thick river bogs, you take back Grantebridge and then embark on an investigation to discover the rat.
Its the investigation that makes the whole arc. It has a slew of clues, nuance and red herrings to consider. One of its strengths is how open ended the investigation is — you can follow the quest markers, but talking to the town’s people and hunting down the yellow-painted ship is up to you (at least I think, I played on the most ‘difficult’ exploration setting).
This arc earns big points because the investigation matters — you have to tell Soma to kill one of her closest friends and then watch her do it, living with your right or wrong decision.
2. Eurvicscire
Finally meeting the third of the famed Ragnarson’s, Eivor finds Halfdan a paranoid soul, waxing poetic about friendship and treason. The arc balances the two on a blade’s edge to tremendous effect.
Halfdan believes he has a traitor in his midst and the main culprit is his right-hand man, Faravid.
Faravid's dialogue is expertly written to feign allegiance to Halfdan, but never reveal too much of his true nature. Eivor’s wavering relationship and trust with him are complex and the Wolf-Kissed can lie to both him and Halfdan depending on dialogue choice. Every decision feels like it carries weight. It’s this ambiguity that makes the arc compelling and gives the decisions importance.
This arc could feel disconnected (it’s not part of the main plot and Halfdan doesn’t appear in the late game, no matter your decision) and thus appear as pointless fluff, but I won’t fault it for that. As a self-contained story, this was flat-out interesting and kept me in anticipation of the next reveal or twist. Imagery and foreshadowing, red-herrings, and great atmosphere all make for an engaging and compelling experience. I only wish every shire arc could’ve reached these heights.
1. Sciropscire
Sciropescire’s strengths come somewhat from the arcs that came before it, as it sees Eivor quickly reunited and working with Ivarr and Ceowulf. Your preexisting relationship with both gives this arc an advantage over others where it doesn’t have to establish too much all at once, as well as it starting off with you already having a personal connection of some sort with the main cast. Still, each set piece here is strong enough on its own –

1. Eivor & co. join to negotiate peace with King Rhodri. She can offer 600 silver to whomever she chooses to try and quell the peace talks. Each option is mired in obscurity, has obvious pros and cons, and plenty of uncertainty. It felt impactful, difficult and nuanced.
2. After peace talks go sour with Ivarr’s outburst, Eivor, Ivarr and Ceowulf sack a village under Rhodri’s control. It’s brutal and takes a long time to burn (on purpose!). You then fight a huge party of Rhodri’s men. The whole scene feels vile, over the top and harsh (on purpose!).
3. The twist is that Ivarr kills Ceowulf in cold blood to earn himself the opportunity to get his own revenge on Rhodri — only revealed after you sack Rhodri’s fort (after reaching peace with him). A brutal blood eagle from Ivarr and the game’s best boss fight ensue.

It’s close between the top 3, but this is the best arc in the game, for me.
For once, the game forces you to face the trail of bloodshed and destruction your ‘pacifying’ of England has left in your wake. Additionally, the ambiguous decision-making process in negotiating peace, the brutal village burning sequence, the tangled web of Ivarr’s relationships and motivations, the twists of the peaceful alliance and Rhodri’s fate, and finally, the Ivarr boss fight are just too good all in tandem to not take first place.
--
I’m conflicted looking back on these.
There’s many that feel even more empty than I remember them being now that I draft them as text. However, a surprising number of highly-rated arcs aren’t actually part of the main quest.
Ultimately, I’m left bewildered at the scale and scope of the epic that this game took me on. I was so fatigued by the end of it, but in hindsight so happy I completed it.

With the release of OpenAI's latest GPT model for both paid and free users, I've found myself curious about the supposed tech revolution it is arguably ushering in. Articles abound claiming that we're on the cusp of a future where we simply speak to machines/computers in order to interface with them. This would supposedly be more natural and effective than traditional modes of interaction, though I highly doubt that sort of blanket declaration.
My question is, what sort of unintended effects might such a shift to verbal interface, and most importantly to verbal responses, when interacting with machines?
Personally, as an academic, I've only been able to trust (mostly) the tool Perplexity released because it provides sources for the info for verification and is focussed for now on being an AI charged search engine first and foremost. With something like Chat-GPT I just don't get how so many people can trust it's output given the known issues of hallucinations and potential to regurgitate false claims and info, all with no sources provided! I mean, if we instead imagine a person who is known to be brilliant and knowledgeable, but they are entirely self taught with zero formal training or noteworthy achievements (proof of expertise), then would we take what they say at face value? Would that sort of background lend them the necessary credibility to be an authority on a subject? I'm all for non-formal and self-provided educational growth, but if one intends on welding authority on a subject that will cause others to defer to them and still refuses to cite their info, then it would be quite risky and arguably foolish to trust said person outright.
Beyond that, the issue of aesthetic experience is also intriguing. How would a shift to verbal and auditory interface affect our relationship to tech on that metric? I prefer to type, personally, and can only imagine how loud and chaotic an urban area might become if everyone were to use voice as their primary means of human/machine interaction. I feel like there's some Derrida that would apply here. Perhaps the notions of differánce and arche-writing? I could also see Heideggerian withdrawal being relevant here, as well, and even some Marx a la the 1884 Economic and Philosophical Manuscripts.
As someone trained mostly in Continental Philosophy, I'd be especially interested in anyone's take from the perspective of someone trained as an Analytical Philosopher, btw.

the title sounds so self conniving, but i feel as though my ngrandma’s boyfriend is jealous of me.
though my ngrandma and i don’t have the best relationship by all means, we still have a standard mother-daughter type relationship. i’ll tell her about a boy i like, ask her for advice and all that. things i wouldn’t feel comfortable with telling a man, especially one i have no relationship with and am not close to whatsoever.
he gets upset whenever i talk to her, claiming we’re talking about him. he always feels the need to follow me whenever i go to hug my ngrandma goodnight or just stand there menacingly staring.
when he’s mad at me he’ll stare at me with pure hate, or he’ll completely ignore me. just the other day he got mad at me for not bringing him coffee (i work at mcdonald’s and we can take whatever home for free) and he gaslighted me and said i told him we don’t brew coffee all day and obviously wouldn’t believe me when i said i didn’t say that. he refused to talk to me and threatened to throw away anything he saw of mine on the floor.
what the fuck? are both of them narcissists or what?

I got a pay rise this month so when I get paid I have been planning to treat myself next month. This means I have arranged more plans than usual. I am taking my partner out for a meal on the first weekend of next month, I am planning to go to the cinema the weekend after (either on my own or with my partner if she wants to join me, all paid by me)
The last weekend of the month, me and my partner are going on a double date with a good friend of mine who lives in a nearby city. I was talking to my best friend who lives nearby and suggested we meet up either on one of the free weekends or on the weekend I'm going to the cinema.
He said he'll get back to me with what date works best and let me know but it will likely be one of the free weekends. I was talking to my partner and she seemed annoyed.
I asked what was wrong and she just said I've barely made any plans with her. I pointed out that the majority of the plans I have involve her, it's only the night with my friend and possibly the cinema where she won't be there.
She just said she thought I'd have prioritised plans with her. I told her I have and that one of the first things I did when I found out about the pay rise is booked a table at our favourite restaurant to celebrate.
She just said it seems like as soon as I get the pay rise, I immediately started filling up my weekends with plans with friends and that we only get 1 weekend with just us.
I mention that we have got plans together throughout some of the weeks and that there's nothing wrong with me going to see my friends. She said she thinks I should at least push back my plans with my best friend until July and plan something with her instead but I refused and she said I was being unfair and not prioritising the relationship.
AITB for making multiple plans with friends?

Prologue
Hello and welcome to my post. I will subdivide this into two large parts. One will cover my thoughts, feelings, my hopes and dreams...While the other will tell you the specifics of how I pass the time, what topics interest me, what passions do I posses. I believe that at the end of this leap into my inner world, you dear reader, will have all the necessary information to judge whether we are compatible or not.

Part I
I am writing this in the hopes of finding something that I lack. Lately I have had this feeling, this tinge of melancholy within the dephts of my being, this yearning to find a kindred spirit, another Soul, much like mine, to form a bond with. Perhaps Loneliness is the right word for what is bothering me, but to use it seems to carry with it a connotation of ungratefulness. Ungratefulness for the people that I do have in my life, although none of them, of course, have the connection to me that I seek here.

I have found it increasingly necessary to seek in this Life a sort of purity of thought. What I mean is, I have began to undestand what ideas and concepts are ultimately compatible with my inner most Self, ergo what guidelines I have to follow to feel the most whole. Naturally I have likewise realised what I cannot add to my Self and what I will henceforth reject with all the power that I posses.

With this new context in mind, I now follow on the path of self improvement. I will now begin to mold my Self into my perfected idea of how the Self should be. This is certainly a significant undertaking, one that will not be easy to follow through on but one that I ultimately have to do. To me such context is essential. It is akin to a Guiding Star shining in the night. I will follow this Star for without it I am lost in the vast Darkness.

Looking back at my life, it was suboptimal, especially if one compares the way it molded me to how I will now mold myself. I suppose I must look on with a hint of regret at all that time which one might consider to be lost. Still... I try to stave off such decisively negative interpretations, after all, I have ultimately came to these conclusions. That means that somewhere along the line I had to have picked up on enough of such ideas for them to become so cemented in my consciousness. Well, either that or I was always like this, but in that case I can at least thank my life up to this point for not being able to supress such manifestations of my inner most Self.

To add to the topic of my life, I must admit that not all the battles have yet been won, not all the Demons vanquished, not every Mountain climbed. I want you to keep such things in mind when deciding whether or not to approach me. Many will shy away, I undestand that much, but the pursuit of true Companionship is just another such battle. Having said all that I do believe that being able to overcome hurdles together carries with it a certain appeal. That is to say, what's the fun in joining once the Game is already over?

I don't shy away from such challenges, perhaps to a fault. Certain troubles that I faced in the past carry with them a long shadow over my current health and well being. Still, I intend to change little in this regard other than the proficiency with which I will clash the current of my Will against the cliffs of Life.
Part II
In this part of my post I will tell you about my interests and hobbies, I will try to be thorough, commonality in this regard is rather important to build a relationship
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Esotericism. I am interested in things spiritual, mystical, magical and esoteric. I have read religios texts, magical grimoires, introductions to various schools of thought. It is interesting to me.
Epilogue
Hopefully I was able to cast the spotlight upon my inner World in a clear and unequivocal manner. I feel the need to add to the aforementioned that I am rather introverted, which means that I tend to dislike large social gatherings. I managed to condition myself to be able to endure the presense of large groups of people but it isn't something that I would seek out in most cases. Besides that I am neurodivergent and suffer from certain issues with mental health. I have to take medication to keep myself under control. They work well enough but certain days are harder than others. I respect the struggle that others have with mental health but in the context of a relationship I have my limits, no one with BDP for instance. I am also not looking for anything casual. I understand than one cannot demand depth and meaning from a conversation with an absolute stranger, that is akin to trying to build a sand castle right before the waves strike but I ask at least that you enter with a mindset that this might become something of significance. I also do want to say that I am completely Monogamous. My preference? The sickly, pale, intellectual who watches rain droplets slide down the window in Autumn. Lastly, if I enjoy the company of a person I tend to not want to let them go.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and have a good day. I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and that you give your thoughts on my title in the opening of your message.
Goodbye...Or perhaps untill we meet again

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

About a year ago, I [29 M] was in a toxic relationship with J [29 M]. While there were no serious stakes in it (no kids or messy finances), the relationship and breakup ended up emotionally affecting me in a way I had never really thought possible. I feel guilty because after the relationship I tried to be friends with my ex still, which I now see as a mistake in the context of this relationship, and then after a few months, he blocked me because I didn't respect a boundary he had set about not sending him long messages. He said he didn't feel safe since I "completely ignored" the boundary.
I was devastated, but over the course of the next few months, came to understand a great deal of ways that I feel that I had been abused during the relationship. I felt angrier and angrier, and even though I was seeing a therapist, it eventually boiled over. My ex had blocked me on discord and probably on text, but I went onto an astrology app called Co-Star that he had had me download, and sent a message using it that said something like, "You were an abusive partner, but you can make it right with an apology."
Now, I have no idea if he actually saw the message. It was sent with a weird feature of the app called Chaos Mode that apparently chooses to send the message at some future time, so who knows if it actually ever sent. I don't know if he still has the app, if he unfriended me, or whatnot. But I feel guilty because I enacted exactly the caricature of me that he had created--I hadn't respected his boundaries, and I sent the message anyways.
At the same time, I am still feeling very victimized by the relationship. To give you a sense of the kinds of things that were going on in the relationship, here's a few examples that I currently find a little horrific [Note: this kind of turned into a summary of the relationship after I wrote it]. I'm aware that to heal I should probably not be ruminating about these things, especially if they lead me to boil over and message him, but here you go.
The first time I had sex with him, he slammed the door on me for not being able to finish and said "finish yourself." When I came to bed, I told him I felt shame. He said "good." The next time we had sex, he set a timer for me and said I had to finish within 5 minutes. These were the first times I ever had sex. He was manipulative in bed, telling me he didn't want to perform certain acts because I didn't give him enough praise for them, so that I started exaggerating my pleasure; he blamed me for why certain positions weren't working and was frustrated with how my body worked. On top of this, he admitted at the end of the relationship to having had sex with me around five times after he decided to break up with me (before he did), which just makes me feel a bit icky.
He would put me down in pretty transparently cruel ways. One example was when I exerted myself, he said I sounded like a muppet and that he "didn't want to be dating a muppet." When I offered him a blanket but apologized that it might not have been washed in a while, he called me a baby. He would insult my ability to give complements, asking me to tell him what color his eyes are but then rejecting everything that I gave him, telling me I was bad at complements repeatedly (and saying that it wasn't fair of him because his other exes were artists, so no wonder I was bad). Now, there were times that he was complementary to me--he told me I was hot, good at singing, good at writing, smart--but also times where he would put me down for things I was less good at, like cooking.
He constantly made me feel insecure about my gender. (For context, we are both men, but he was raised as a woman). So he would make pretty sweeping feminist critiques over fairly mundane things, like if I complained when I was sick he would go off about how men are always babies when they are sick and women don't get attention. When I confronted him about some of the things he was saying, telling him that while I wanted him to express these kinds of social problems so that I could be aware and adapt, I was feeling insecure in the relationship--he flipped it around and told me that if I didn't feel loved, he could say "I love you" less, and that I hadn't been grateful enough for when he came to visit me. (I had written him poetry, deep cleaned my apartment, taken time off work, sent my roommate off for the week, bought him a bus pass, planned his visit, met him in the airport despite not having a car, and just an insane amount of work to be turned into, "you weren't grateful enough").
Other than namecalling, he was just plain controlling. The reason that the boundary around me not sending long messages exists is that when I felt insecure--which I think makes sense given the ways he would talk to me--I would often send him a few paragraphs apologizing and explaining how I was growing. Even though long messages were the first thing he said he loved about me, and that he said our communication was like magic, he eventually set up what he called an "Essay embargo" and told me not to write them. The first time he set the "embargo", he had said it was only until we met in person because he didn't want me to write anything that would make him nervous. After we met in person, I assumed the embargo had lifted. Yet shortly after, he set it again, giving a few explanations--the main one just being that he wanted to appreciate our relationship without overthinking it. It seemed playful. He definitely did also say that long messages made him uncomfortable because he felt obligated to send a response. So, when I did send messages, I would add that he didn't have to respond (which I realize is not fully respecting the boundary). I did ask after sending messages whether they were ok and he never responded to those questions.
Despite this, there were times during the relationship that I continued to send long, often apologetic messages. I had felt like this boundary was set playfully and I also was feeling overwhelming guilt that I, for whatever reason, needed his affirmation for. I am conflicted because on the one hand, I was definitely ignoring his boundary--but on the other, I feel like the boundary was not very thoughtful of my own needs, either.
Prior to the breakup, it was hell. He was getting angry at me for everything--for pretty mundane things like using the bathroom before him and stinking it up. He told me he had to show me how to do everything, but I realize now that a lot of this was just him being particular (e.g, he told me I don't know how to drink tea because I left the bag in, when I just like it strong). Unfortunately, I had flown 5,000 miles to visit him and was sort of trapped in his proximity, and was drunk on love still since I was trying very hard, it was my first relationship, and he had sold me on notions of fairytale romance and told me we were cosmically meant to be together and other lovebomby sort of things. We flew to a convention and I met some of his friends, and at one point he introduced me to a girl he had almost dated before, saying I was a friend and not a partner. I pointed this out to him later and he just said "does that make you angry?". He flirted with a woman at a party, telling her she was pretty while demanding that i bring him snacks (I feel so, so weak for not confronting him about this). He got drunk and I stayed with him as he passed out, but he was angry at me in the morning. When one of his friends told me they thought I was nice, because i was opening doors for everyone, my ex said "Is he really?" Questioning them.
The breakup itself was cold and calculated. He started it by telling me that he thought about not giving me any reasons for the breakup because I always overanalyze things. He told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I was a woman. He told me I didn't take care of him and he needs a partner that takes care of him, and that his partners always feel taken care of. He threw some things I had said at the beginning of the relationship back at me--misquoting and misunderstanding them.
After the relationship, I had no idea what to think. It was my first relationship. It had started with fairytale romance. I had been passing his tests, I had been an exception to his long string of abusive relationships. He presented himself as this incredibly moral person (vegan, environmentally conscious, telling me of all of the ways others had abused him that he would never do, even his closest friends). I had completely internalized criticisms that he had had of me throughout the relationship, many of which had led to serious self reflection and my writing messages about my growth. Within a week I told him I still loved him and that I always would. He reminded me of his boundary around long messages and said they made him anxious. I was desperate. We took a few weeks of no-contact. We messaged short-messages back and forth, with a few life-updates to eachother each. He told me he was rescuing a kitten that he found, and I remembered how he could be kind.
But as I processed, more and more, I felt angry. I wrote unsent angry letters in the notes app on my phone for a month. I wrote myself a 20,000 word summary of the relationship. This was not a healthy way to process. It elevated me. (Some of you will probably comment that maybe I shouldn't have written this post for the same reason, but oh well--I wanted to process and I want to hear if others have similar stories). Meanwhile, my ex kept pushing back the date for when we would verbally connect again. Eventually, I boiled over. I did not insult him. But I wrote a long message explaining that I wanted to take 3 months of no-contact. I had entered another relationship and told him that even though I was feeling angry at him, he shouldn't be worried because even though I had baggage from the relationship, I was communicating well with my new partner. I also told him that I felt like if I did talk with him, that I would end up tearing him a new one, and that I needed time to cool down. I'm not proud of the message in general, but I didn't call names, tell him he was awful, or anything like that. I was just insensitive and told him I was angry.
And like that, I was blocked. It was over. A period of about 9 months, five of which we were together, with two before escalating towards love bombing and two after escalating towards my boiling over.
And yet, I had never expressed to him that I thought he had been abusive. I felt frustrated that I had told him that I would always love him, when in many ways now I hated him.
Five months passed, during which I came to realize more and more how messed up the relationship was.
And then I sent the message on Co-star.
Fast forward another four months to now.
I just sent him a text, knowing he probably has blocked me there too. It said something like, "I want my last message to you just be: I'm sorry, and I forgive you." I wanted to free myself. I needed to not feel angry at him or ashamed of myself. I needed to not feel like I had a million things to say to him--I needed to just say, this is it: I'm not sending more messages. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. It was for myself. I was forgiving him selfishly, even though he didn't deserve it, so that I could move on.
I feel like I shouldn't have sent this, but I don't feel bad about it yet, either. I needed closure. It always felt like there was some "message I could send" to detail his abuse, and I needed to not have that standing over me--I needed to forgive. I am now oscillating between wondering about myself--whether I have a problem with boundaries, since I had boiled over at this point three times to message him. Feeling frustrated I didn't assert myself about his abuse, that I doubled down on loving him. Part of me is glad that I sent the message on Co-Star saying that he was abusive, because it was the only indication I ever gave him, really, that what he did wasn't ok to me--he had blocked me before I could articulate anything. But I also know that this message even if received would not mean anything to him.
Anyways, now I'm venting about it here on Reddit. Does anyone have similar experiences surrounding self control messaging exes and feeling a bit out of control?

I know you're busy or bored, either way I don't want to waste your time with paragraphs of description that you might not even read so how about we do a lightning round.

• 33 years old.
  
• Own and live a house alone, with my dog.
  
• Well established in my career and have my life somewhat together ( who really does? )
  
• Looking for long term relationship.
  
• Love voice calls
  
• Has a deep voice (can prove it)
  
• 6'2
  
• Will touch your butt
  
• Willing to trade pics if you are up to it as well.
  
• Huge nerd
  
• Loves to explore but also likes to stay inside
  

I'm looking for someone to connect with. Flirt with and have fun with. Someone to distract at work with. To voice chat and send goodmorning/goodnight texts. Talk to me about what you are passionate about. What you are looking for. I'm not just looking for local so feel free to stop by if I interested you!