Hi everybody, I’m not really sure where to post this but decided to give it a shot here. I’ll cut right to the chase: since last year I (20F) have gone from a steady 130-133 pounds to 146-151. Before that in high school I was 120-125, but got as low as 107 due to stress and sports at one point, which of course was not good but was quickly fixed. Anyway, I don’t know what could be causing this. I started birth control (Nuvaring) in August and initially didn’t notice any drastic changes, but am wondering if I am sensitive to estrogen since I also began experiencing insomnia, lower libido, mood swings, and other symptoms associated with high estrogen. I just switched to Lo Loestrin FE this week and am hoping it will help. I also got into a relationship in October and am very happy. I know relationship weight is a thing, but 20 pounds seems like a lot. No big lifestyle changes except I am now living off campus in a house and thus eat out or make food at home more often than getting university food. I never watched my calories before because I never needed to— my metabolism has always been wicked fast and even now it feels like it hasn’t slowed down, despite the weight gain. I started going to the gym but haven’t been consistent; I never went before when I was skinnier. This Summer I’m trying to go for runs at least twice a week and am working a job with a lot of physical labor so I’m hoping that will help.
The fat has appeared all over my body but is most noticeable in my stomach. I was always pretty toned there but now I have a lot of fat rolls, including ones right below my breasts that I absolutely hate and don’t see much on other women. This has all been accompanied by cellulite EVERYWHERE— stomach, thighs, butt, and even a bit on my arms. It seems like it appeared overnight one day, though I know this is impossible. I’ve always been insecure about my arms and now that they are bigger this feeling is worse, too. I guess having bigger boobs has been nice, since I’ve always been an AA or A cup, and now I’m more like a B. But it doesn’t really compare to the hate I feel about every other part of myself.
I have battled OCD for many years, which always complicates things, but I was also diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder about two months ago due to how much this has consumed me. And all my life, I have been skinny, and praised for it. So yes, I know I am still in the healthy range (5’8”) but this has been a pretty tough six months as my view of myself has become pretty distorted. Please keep this in mind before commenting 🫶🏼 I cannot help but feel my boyfriend is being robbed off the best version of myself, even though he absolutely loves my body and is my biggest support through all of this.
I’m wondering if I need bloodwork or if this is a lifestyle issue or a hormonal issue or a part of growing up. Has anyone else experienced sudden weight gain in their 20s?

Hi everyone, I have PCOS and I have been on Yaz for about a year. I researched birth control pills thoroughly before jumping back into them after a hiatus off of LoloFE. My doctor and I chose Yaz because it is high estrogen, and has been known to help women with PCOS. I honestly haven't noticed much alleviation of my PCOS symptoms, and I've had a bunch of annoying side effects (random spotting for 2+ weeks, zero libido, etc...). So I am considering my options.
I am looking for a progesterone+estrogen pill. I tried mini pills in the past and they didn't work too well for me. I am looking for ones that are high in estrogen, but don't have adverse side effects on libido, or PCOS. It would be great if they helped with acne.
If anyone with or without PCOS has tried a combination pill that they liked I would really appreciate any suggestions! I have found great options, but it looks like they are for European countries only. I am in the US.
Thank you so much!

based on some things i’ve seen recently i wanted to share the reminder that diagnosis is an immense privilege.
not everyone has the resources, funds, knowledge, cultural acceptance, etc. to get a full neuropsych exam. of course, it is helpful and accurate to get a professional diagnosis. it can direct you to the correct medications and support systems while leading you to a path of self-discovery.
however, people dealing with ADHD symptoms every day, diagnosed or not, are deserving of support and empathy for their functional limitations. Many countries do not even recognize ADHD as a condition—that does not mean people there do not have ADHD. “ADHD” is a group of criteria that has evolved tremendously throughout the years and still has lots of research to be done (especially for women!)
it is frustrating that social media has led to ADHD becoming trendy and misrepresented. im not advocating for self-diagnosis at all. i just hope that people who were lucky enough to get diagnosed, especially in their youth, do not look down on people who are just starting that journey now. the number of people with ADHD hasn’t increased, it’s the number of people who are now empowered and know about it!! and we should be happy about this!

Iron is a crucial mineral that plays a fundamental role in our overall health and well-being. While it may seem like a small component, iron is essential for the production of hemoglobin, the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body. In this blog post, we'll explore the importance of iron as a "blood builder" and how it contributes to our overall vitality.

The Importance of Iron:

Iron is often referred to as a "blood builder" because of its pivotal role in the production of healthy red blood cells. These cells are responsible for delivering oxygen to all the tissues and organs in our body, ensuring they function optimally. Without enough iron, the body cannot produce an adequate amount of hemoglobin, leading to a condition known as iron deficiency anemia.

Signs and Symptoms of Iron Deficiency:

Iron deficiency can manifest in various ways, with symptoms ranging from mild to severe. Common signs of iron deficiency anemia include fatigue, weakness, pale skin, shortness of breath, dizziness, headaches, and cold hands and feet. In severe cases, iron deficiency can impair cognitive function, weaken the immune system, and affect overall quality of life.

Sources of Iron:

The body cannot produce iron on its own, so it must be obtained through dietary sources or supplements. Iron-rich foods include red meat, poultry, fish, beans, lentils, tofu, spinach, kale, fortified cereals, and grains. It's important to consume a balanced diet that includes a variety of iron-rich foods to ensure an adequate intake of this essential mineral.

Iron Absorption:

While iron is abundant in many foods, not all of it is easily absorbed by the body. The absorption of iron can be influenced by various factors, including the type of iron (heme vs. non-heme), other nutrients in the diet (such as vitamin C), and certain substances that inhibit absorption (such as caffeine and tannins). Consuming iron-rich foods with vitamin C-rich foods can enhance iron absorption, while avoiding substances that inhibit absorption can help maximize its effectiveness.

Supplementing with Iron:

In some cases, dietary sources alone may not provide enough iron to meet the body's needs, especially for individuals with increased iron requirements (such as pregnant women, menstruating individuals, and athletes). In such cases, iron supplements may be recommended by healthcare professionals to help prevent or treat iron deficiency anemia. It's important to follow dosage guidelines and consult with a healthcare provider before starting any new supplement regimen.

Conclusion:

Iron is undeniably one of the body's most essential nutrients, serving as a vital "blood builder" that supports overall health and vitality. By ensuring an adequate intake of iron-rich foods and, if necessary, supplementing with iron supplements, we can help maintain optimal levels of this essential mineral and support our body's ability to produce healthy red blood cells. Remember, a little iron can go a long way in promoting a healthier, more energetic you！
https://nutridom.ca/products/iron-60-vcaps-bisglycinate?_pos=1&_sid=4de2a1cd1&_ss=r

In the realm of herbal remedies, few plants hold as much promise for women's health as Ashwagandha. This ancient herb, revered in Ayurvedic medicine for centuries, offers a myriad of benefits that can support women in every stage of life. From hormonal balance to stress relief and beyond, let's explore the incredible advantages that Ashwagandha brings to the table.

Understanding Ashwagandha:

Ashwagandha, scientifically known as Withania somnifera, is a small shrub native to the Indian subcontinent. Also known as "Indian ginseng" or "winter cherry," this adaptogenic herb has been used for thousands of years in Ayurveda, India's traditional system of medicine. Ashwagandha is prized for its ability to help the body adapt to stress, promote vitality, and restore balance to various bodily systems.

Hormonal Balance and Women's Health:

One of the primary benefits of Ashwagandha for women is its ability to support hormonal balance. Hormones play a crucial role in women's health, influencing everything from menstruation and fertility to mood and energy levels. Ashwagandha exerts a balancing effect on hormones, particularly cortisol and thyroid hormones, which can help alleviate symptoms of hormonal imbalances such as irregular periods, PMS, and menopausal symptoms.

Stress Reduction and Anxiety Relief:

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become a ubiquitous part of modern life, taking a toll on women's physical and mental well-being. Ashwagandha shines as a natural stress-reliever, thanks to its adaptogenic properties. By modulating the body's stress response and reducing cortisol levels, Ashwagandha can help women feel calmer, more resilient, and better equipped to handle life's challenges.

Improved Sleep Quality:

Quality sleep is essential for overall health and well-being, yet many women struggle with insomnia and sleep disturbances. Ashwagandha has been shown to promote relaxation and improve sleep quality by calming the mind and reducing anxiety. By supporting restful sleep, Ashwagandha can enhance energy levels, cognitive function, and mood during the day.

Enhancing Fertility and Reproductive Health:

For women trying to conceive, Ashwagandha may offer additional benefits. Research suggests that Ashwagandha may improve fertility by regulating menstrual cycles, supporting ovarian function, and reducing oxidative stress in the reproductive organs. Additionally, Ashwagandha's adaptogenic properties may help women cope with the emotional and physical challenges of infertility treatments.

Supporting Cognitive Function and Brain Health:

As women age, maintaining cognitive function becomes increasingly important for preserving independence and quality of life. Ashwagandha has shown promise in supporting cognitive function and protecting against age-related cognitive decline. By reducing inflammation, oxidative stress, and anxiety, Ashwagandha may help preserve memory, concentration, and overall brain health.

Incorporating Ashwagandha into Your Wellness Routine:

Adding Ashwagandha to your daily wellness routine is easy and convenient. This versatile herb is available in various forms, including capsules, powders, and tinctures. Start with a low dose and gradually increase as needed, following the recommendations on the product label or consulting with a healthcare professional.

Conclusion:

Ashwagandha stands as a powerful ally for women's health, offering a holistic approach to wellness that addresses the unique needs and challenges women face. Whether you're seeking hormonal balance, stress relief, better sleep, fertility support, or cognitive enhancement, Ashwagandha has something to offer. By harnessing the therapeutic properties of this ancient herb, women can cultivate resilience, vitality, and overall well-being at every stage of life. In the realm of herbal remedies, few plants hold as much promise for women's health as Ashwagandha. This ancient herb, revered in Ayurvedic medicine for centuries, offers a myriad of benefits that can support women in every stage of life. From hormonal balance to stress relief and beyond, let's explore the incredible advantages that Ashwagandha brings to the table.

Understanding Ashwagandha:

Ashwagandha, scientifically known as Withania somnifera, is a small shrub native to the Indian subcontinent. Also known as "Indian ginseng" or "winter cherry," this adaptogenic herb has been used for thousands of years in Ayurveda, India's traditional system of medicine. Ashwagandha is prized for its ability to help the body adapt to stress, promote vitality, and restore balance to various bodily systems.

Hormonal Balance and Women's Health:

One of the primary benefits of Ashwagandha for women is its ability to support hormonal balance. Hormones play a crucial role in women's health, influencing everything from menstruation and fertility to mood and energy levels. Ashwagandha exerts a balancing effect on hormones, particularly cortisol and thyroid hormones, which can help alleviate symptoms of hormonal imbalances such as irregular periods, PMS, and menopausal symptoms.

Stress Reduction and Anxiety Relief:

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become a ubiquitous part of modern life, taking a toll on women's physical and mental well-being. Ashwagandha shines as a natural stress-reliever, thanks to its adaptogenic properties. By modulating the body's stress response and reducing cortisol levels, Ashwagandha can help women feel calmer, more resilient, and better equipped to handle life's challenges.

Improved Sleep Quality:

Quality sleep is essential for overall health and well-being, yet many women struggle with insomnia and sleep disturbances. Ashwagandha has been shown to promote relaxation and improve sleep quality by calming the mind and reducing anxiety. By supporting restful sleep, Ashwagandha can enhance energy levels, cognitive function, and mood during the day.

Enhancing Fertility and Reproductive Health:

For women trying to conceive, Ashwagandha may offer additional benefits. Research suggests that Ashwagandha may improve fertility by regulating menstrual cycles, supporting ovarian function, and reducing oxidative stress in the reproductive organs. Additionally, Ashwagandha's adaptogenic properties may help women cope with the emotional and physical challenges of infertility treatments.

Supporting Cognitive Function and Brain Health:

As women age, maintaining cognitive function becomes increasingly important for preserving independence and quality of life. Ashwagandha has shown promise in supporting cognitive function and protecting against age-related cognitive decline. By reducing inflammation, oxidative stress, and anxiety, Ashwagandha may help preserve memory, concentration, and overall brain health.

https://nutridom.ca/products/ashwagandha-60-vcaps?_pos=1&_sid=78e7226fc&_ss=r

So I'm seeing my ob/gyn tomorrow because I'm convinced I was misdiagnosed with PCOS for over a decade. I am in my mid-30's, my hair is greying, dry and almost gone. My skin is dry. My eyes are dry. I'm skin and bones but weigh 180 pounds (my weight has all shifted to my belly, it looks ridiculous). Most scary is that I was looking at old photos and my face shape has definitely changed. I had issues with my jaw for a decade now that were always brushed off. My jaw has definitely shrunk and the right side hurts constantly. My eyes have the grey, sunken look associated with much older women and even my pubic hair is thinning out. My knee and wrist joints are out of whack too.
For starters, I had my first period at 13, which then came maybe twice a year afterwards. My feminine development literally stalled at that age, height and breast size. Fat never distributed AT ALL to my lower half (hips, butt, thighs). Only my belly, even at that age. I was the skinny kid, bullied a lot. Neglected at home and ate horribly, got sick easily. But doctors never diagnosed me when I sought answers at 17. Prolactin and thyroid were a bit off but then tested fine a second time. Testosterone also normal. No idea if they even tested estrogen back then but was told it was impossible to test anyway, due to the cyclical nature (I never had a cycle but okay). And I was too afraid to try the birth control pill due to my mother forbidding it and fear mongering over it. I convinced myself I was a late bloomer, then eventually I got to the age where I assumed it was too late to do anything about it so started dressing to hide it, convinced I was being punished by my own genetics and poor lifestyle and there was nothing to be done. (For clarity, I am autistic and have CPTSD from childhood abuse and trauma, and am prone to distorted thought patterns and shameful feelings.)
Gained 30 pounds through the college diet and some of it went to my thighs which alleviated my dysphoria somewhat but I could tell something was wrong and it wasn't "puberty weight gain". I gained a pregnancy looking belly and started having hot flashes. My hair was falling out since my teen years. Hair loss was chalked to stress. Hot flashes got me laughed out of the doctor's office because I was "too young". Went to the doctor at 21, he shrugged and guessed PCOS after ultrasound showed follicles and put me on the pill. I was only on the pill for three months before deciding to go with dieting as per the general PCOS rules (soooooo stupid, I know). Had somewhat regular periods for about 6 months at 24 but after weight loss realized I was back to my underdeveloped 12-year-old body. Went to doctor at 25, completely panicked. Blood tests were normal at the time and it was chalked to PCOS once more. Got prescribed Diane 35 and at the time thought I was in the clear. Have been on the pill off and on for eight or so years now and my weight has been yoyo-ing since then. But while the pill did work at regulating my cycle, eventually they became lesser and darker. The last bleed I had was a few weeks ago and I'm convinced I only got it because of remnant estrogen from the pill. I just know in my gut that if I were to stop all birth control, I would never get my period again. If my 20's were marked by bizarre hormonal fluctuations, night sweats and infrequent but heavy periods, my 30's are currently marked by lack of cramping, barely existent bleeding, feeling aged and dried up and just hormonally.... dead.
NO doctor ever brought up POI as even a possibility. The designated response to women seems to be to suggest we are crazy or that the situation is not as severe as we think it is. Endocrinologist I waited nine months to see a few years ago after lockdown read the referral that said "suspected PCOS" and didn't even meet with me, sent a resident in to talk to me. Sent me on my way. But I just know in my gut my ovaries have been failing since adolescence and I am TERRIFIED. I look like a dictionary case of estrogen deficiency at this point and it seems I might have been perimenopausal since adolescence. Was almost certainly perimenopausal ten years ago, which means I'm basically an old lady now in my 30's and HRT probably won't work with me. Looking up the symptoms of this disease untreated is giving me panic attacks akin to finding out I have a terminal illness. But even if I'm not terminally ill, I look awful and my quality of life is miserable. I am doomed either way and worst of all, I could have prevented most of the damage had I been diagnosed sooner or at the very LEAST, went on the BCP when I was younger.
I'm sorry if this was a frustrating or difficult read. I'm just so, so scared. I feel like the cautionary tale of this disorder and I'm in Hell. More awareness needs to be spread about this disease. This simply should NOT happen. To anyone. Especially young girls and women who aren't given info to make informed decisions or can't advocate for themselves. I just am at my rope's end and can't relax.

I'm seeking for recommendations for women/breast doctors in Budapest who are suitable for visitors. My wife is currently experiencing mastitis symptoms such as breast redness, a painful lump, and fever. Ibuprofen does not seem to work, so I think she may need to see a doctor, possibly to get some antibiotics.
(I understand that this is not a life-threatening issue and so we aren't going to an emergency department.)
Thanks!

Hi ! Was wondering if anyone had any advice for. me.
I've had a couple yeast infections throughout my life but no more than once a year or once every few years. I've had the same partner for almost four years. But this year, I've had 3 so far... and it's only May. I had one in January, took flucanazole, and then one in February around the same time, took fluconazole again. Then I didn't have one in April. Now I'm going to the doctor again because I'm having symptoms of one. I'm not doing anything different diet or lifestyle wise so I'm not sure what has caused this sudden onset of back to back yeast infections. The doctor told me that if I test postitive this time, they'll prescribe me with the long suppression therapy flucanazole but I'm pretty skeptical of that. And would rather avoid having to be on something for so long.
Is there any other homeopathic treatment I can try ? I take 50bill Women's probiotic. I'm also skeptical of boric acid.
Appreciate it.
Thanks
​

Appreciate any responses from people in the UK.
I don't know if I should get tested for herpes, I have no symptoms or outbreaks and none of the partners I have been with have informed me of any. In 2021 I was having unprotected sex with quite a few casual partners (with other males), none had lesions or such . In 2022 I did have someunprotected sex with one woman and about 2 men. And in 2023 I had unprotected sex with four women.
Throughout the entire time no one had lesions but I was concerned about asymptomatic transmission and I haven't had unprotected sex for nearly 11 months and no outbreak but I don't know if I should be tested and what test I should do for it to be accurate. Just a concern really to try and consolidate what I can do now to see if I might have it (I have no symptoms whatsoever).

I did a lot of dumb stuff while I was battling my demons, VA experimenting with drugs, and coping mechanisms, suicide attempts, being a reason for a safety brief, self-destructive behavior.
One of my coping mechanisms was being an absolute flirt and giving and getting attention wherever I could get it, usually from other women than my wife. I don’t remember a lot of it, wife does and won’t let us move past it.
I wasn’t at all in control of myself, I didn’t even know what myself needed or where I was most of the time. I’m not healed by any means, but after several suicide attempts (one almost successful) and my oldest kid doing her best to involve me despite the hell I’ve given the family…I’m able to kinda be cognizant of my surroundings and that I have a family.
My kids have forgiven me, but my wife (and I know she was hurt, but I haven’t crossed any lines for almost 8 years) holds that shit over my head and throws it at me whenever she gets defensive about her own current actions which is seeking attention from other men and involved with one or two intimately. That’s her stuck point.
I drank a lot, flirted a lot, drove like cruella deville like I was fast and furious, all while thinking I was in constant mortal danger or just overwhelmed, hypervigilant, having flashbacks, reliving the moment, misunderstood, tossed aside, apologized for, dismissed.
I have almost no recollection whatsoever of what I did after symptoms manifested. But I’m reminded all the time of what I failed to do, what I did that was so wrong by my wife, never ever about anything I did that was positive. My kids however remind me there were times they saw through and saw the good in me and the good I’ve done for them.
I’m not sure what to think. I know in court people can’t blame mental illness or any shortcomings for their actions, they’re still guilty, but should I also live in the past too? If it wasn’t for the kids I would make a successful attempt cuz she won’t let up and since we have kids I have to deal with her till one of us passes away. I made a pact with the kids that I promise to pass away naturally.

WELCOME TO THE WEEKLY CHAT THREAD FOR ANYONE IN LIMBO OR JUST ANYONE WHO WANTS TO CHAT AND NOT START A POST: THIS POST WILL BE RENEWED EVERY MONDAY AT 1PM CENTRAL.

RULES:

1) YOU ARE IN A SPACE WHERE WOMEN ARE WAITING ON ABNORMAL TEST RESULTS. This is a very difficult time. They will need to vent and be very sensitive. BE KIND, gentle and supportive to anyones' feelings, situation, beliefs etc.
2) You can ask questions or participate in chat
3) Chat may include topics related to waiting, what you guys are doing while you wait, how you feel, support you may need, etc and other life issues with regards to waiting on results, or having had experience waiting on ANY abnormal result which can include any abnormal result in pregnancy such as abnormal sonons, labs, NIPT, triple and quad screens, ETC.
4) NO NORMAL PREGNANCY SYMPTOMS OR DISCUSSIONS. NO MENTIONS OF NORMAL PREGNANCY RESULTS OR NORMAL NIPT TEST RESULTS.
5) You can tag people from other subs or bring people to the sub, ask them to participate or join or watch the discussion etc, but they must abide by the same rules and read the room before participating. You do not have to have abnormal results or experience to participate, but can support others if you wish or can answer something constructively.
6) you MAY talk about any billing issues, frustrations when it comes to costs of healthcare, billing for NIPT or other things like that in these threads
/ I hope this helps you guys find some comfort while you wait in a place where everyone understands how you feel. This will also eliminate the need to start a post if you don't feel comfortable, but I encourage anyone who comes here with an abnormal NIPT result to make a stand alone post. This is really important because collective experience when you are searching for the similar abnormal finding is crucial to all others who come here. /
Thank you,
- Chulzle

Hello crew. Sorry for the wall of text. I'm 25 AAP woman and I believe right now I don't have dysphoria, but I'm curious what you fellow AGPs think about it. I'll try to summarize the most important infos. First of all it seems to me that in order to have gender dysphoria you have to 1) desire being of the opposite sex in a consistent and persistent way, but also you have to 2) actively dislike being your sex the same way. So 1) I have lots of fantasies (both sexual and platonic) about being male, even every day if I don't have other stimuli. If I work, study or work-out regularly the platonic fantasies almost completely disappear, unless sudden external source of stress is present. Sexual fantasies stay the same. I would then say that yes, I have a certain degree of desire to be the opposite sex, and I also experience so called gender envy, especially towards attractive men. 2) That said, I have never had any discomfort with my female body, not even at puberty which is very common for youg women. I of course have some things that I don't like but overall I feel very good about my body. But I also have to be honest about one thing. I believe that I'm comfortable in my body because it's not overtly feminine. I build muscle mass very easy and have lean, fit and compact figure, while delicate at the same time (I'm not sure if I'm giving you the right picture. But overall an athletic woman with proportionate bone structure) and also small breasts, which is something I like because I don't like having things around my torso, so not needing bras is good, and mostly because when I crossdress I can achieve a masculine look without needing binders or stuff. I believe they would give me dysphoria if they were bigger. At the same time though I would like having bigger breasts to be more attractive to men. There are also sexual practices I'd be able to do if they were bigger. I'll add that in bed I very much like having the female role, to recieve, be penetrated, even dominated. I also like to do the reverse but that'll be just to satisfy some other fetish and not my normal, main drive. This also reflects in my AAP fantasies, in which I'm always a gay male, and always the bottom. I never once recall having a fantasy in which I was the penetrator (besides me as a woman pegging a man, but again, for other paraphilias). I think that I don't experience dysphoria (or at least not enough to really notice or bother me) because my regular sex role and my fantasy sex role matches perfectly, and because my body type is perfect for both very feminine and very masculine clothing. The only thing I think will genuinely give me tremendous amount of dysphoria is pregnancy and the aftermaths of birthing, especially hips growth. What do you guys think? Do you believe I would develop gender dysphoria no matter what? I really fear that, especially since a very close relative of mine have it. I feel like this paraphilia is slowly growing every year and I'm not saying it is distressing me but if I'm behing totally honest it is. I mean, it's like it has its own direction and that is just coincidence that is on the same path as my main sexuality. And since it's growing I feel like having some symptoms, even tough I'm not sure if its just overthinking and hyper fixation on the fear of transitioning. I know I wrote maybe too much details but I wanted you to kind if follow my stream of thoughts. I'm also curious how many of you have the same sexual polarity in both allohetero and autohetero scenarios (irl and/or fantasy) and enjoy sex in "default" role?

My partner and I just did the withdrawal method for almost 7 months until I got pregnant.
FEB 26: My last, first day of period
MID APRIL -I skipped my March period -I didn't worry for the month of March when I didn't get my period because it was common for me to miss my period for a month. -My period is irregular ever since (50+ days cycle) -In a year, I usually have 2 months that I skip my period -I felt paranoid still since April is about to end and I don't have my period yet so, and looked for pregnancy symptoms -I also searched for abortion options here in PH via reddit
APR 26: Urine test twice, both showed solid positive lines -I felt shocked cuz I thought I couldn't easily get pregnant because my period was so irregular -My symptoms were nauseous, loss of appetite, fatigue, hard nipples/painful breasts -Just weird because my weight dropped 1kg
APR 29: My partner and I went to the OB and got an ultrasound -I was 7w4d pregnant -At night, I order my pills via Women on Web (70 euros via credit card)
May 7: The pills arrived in my house. -For my symptoms, I don't feel nauseous anymore. -Still fatigued and always feel sleepy -Started to become constipated (I usually poop every morning), this time I skipped 2 mornings
May 10: Preparation -My parter picked me up in the evening -We bought supplies like pads, tissues/napkins, snacks, etc -checked in to a hotel
May 11: Start of my MA (9w2d) -11AM, took 1 Mife -no cramps, bleeding, or other discomforts -I was super emotional the entire day -Had an on and off feelings if this was really finally happening -I know there is no turning back because once I started taking a pill, the fetus might get deformities if I chose to continue carrying this
May 12: Start of the real deal - Abortion First Dose - 4 Miso -8AM, breakfast (2 eggs, corned beef, rice) -10AM, took 400mg Ibuprofen -11AM, first dose of Miso (4 pcs under my tongue) -Within 30 minutes, the pills fully dissolved -After 1 hr, I felt 5/10 painful cramps, chills, felt tired -After a few more minutes, 10/10 cramps, vomited a lot -Went to the toilet twice, felt like I peed out huge clots -I wasn't able to check the fetus or how big the clots were because it went straight into the toilet -Cramps subsided for a while -Chills came back, cramps started slowly again 10/10 -I don't know if what kind of discomfort is this, but whenever I inhale, I felt like there is something tingling throughout my chest to my limbs (it was not painful, but I knew it was not normal) -Then I vomited, and this weird sensation of my body was gons -Whenever I felt like blood is coming out, I rush to the toilet -Expelled more blood clots, but the previous ones felt bigger than this time -Vomitted again -Then I felt better, had my lunch (veggies, rice, buttered shrimp)
Second Dose - 2 Miso -1PM, took 400mg Ibuprofen -2PM, second dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -In 25 minutes while the pills were under my tongute, I felt extremely nauseous -I vomited a lot, including the 2 Miso that hadn't fully dissolved -Chills and cramps again 9/10 -Went to the toilet and expelled blood clots again, this time much smaller but a lot -Vomited again even when I just drank water, I vomited liquids -Felt better every after I vomit -I ate bread, crackers, and chocolates after because I was hungry
Third Dose - 2 Miso -4PM, took 400mg Ibuprofen -Within 15 mins ingesting the Ibuprofen, I vomited -I was worried if I just vomited the Ibuprofen -5PM, third dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -Ate chocolates, drank water and pocari sweat -Cramps 6/10 -Went to the toilet but I only bleed less than the previous ones -It just felt like a normal period -I fell like the painful process is done because I stopped vomiting and no painful cramps anymore -I decided not to take the 4th and 5th dose of Miso -Got the energy to go outside and ate dinner in a restaurant -A few minutes before my last bite, I felt weird in my body(that sensation whenever I inhale), felt nauseous -I told my partner that I couldn't finish my meal, and I want to go home cuz I felt like vomiting -We walked slowly to the car, he drove slowly -While driving back home, I had him stop the car, I vomited outside -Felt hungry going back home after, bought and ate ice cream -I was unsure already here if I should still continue my 4th and 5th dose, because WoW instructions said that mostly 2-3rd dose is okay for my situation -I emailed WoW if I could stop already, but they said, just to be sure just take the 4th and 5th dose
Fourth Dose - 2 Miso -9PM, fourth dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -I was 1 hr late for this dose (if by schedule, it should be 8pm but I was waiting for the email response of WoW) -I asked if it's okay to take it an hour late, but they didn't reply to this particular question -I just took the 4th pills anyway, I didn't take Ibuprofen anymore -2/10 cramps, super tolerable, not a discomfort -ate more bread and snacks, drank water -little bleeding only, no blood clots -no vomiting -took a nap and just placed an alarm for my 5th dose
Fifth Dose - 2 Miso -12AM, fifth dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -1/10 cramps -no vomiting -just worn my maternity pads, didn't bleed clots anymore -slept comfortably
May 13: Time to go home -I was happy in the morning because there was no pain anymore -The pain was finally over -But on our drive way back home, I cried -I was still emotional and apologised to my partner that I decided to push through with the abortion -He actually wants to have the baby, but he told me that whatever his decision is, it will still be up to me since this is my body -I am sad to be honest because a part of me wants to have this baby but the circumstance is just not favorable -I know I want to have a baby again in the future and this time I will be more prepared and accepting
Now, while I still absorb this happening, I am worrying if I did all the process right. I wasn't able to check the embryo/sac/fetus in the toilet. I can't tell if my pregnancy symptoms were gone, because a week before I started the MA, my mild symptoms were gone already and I didn't feel pregnant at all.
I just have to wait for 3-4 weeks to have a urine test.
I am planning to get an ultrasound in 2 weeks, but I don't know how to tell the OB. If I said I think I had a miscarriage, I wonder how they would respond and I might get a hot seat or what. Maybe I am just an overthinker.

Hello guys,
I want to share few incidents of my mom to me and understand what is happening but before that I will tell you a little bit of myself so you understand me!
I’m in my 20s and I was always the black sheep for speaking my truth and not choosing to agree with what I disagree. In my family (my parents divorced when I was 6) I was always the one who defended others (my loved ones especially my mom and older sister) even if that put me in danger (I will explain later what I mean with danger). — I was a good student but gave up in 2nd year of middle school out of depression and anxiety due to multiple family and personal reasons. At high school the first two years I was doing again better and I was great in Computer Science, Biology, Ancient Greek and English, but in the last year I was depressed again because my best friend left me for a toxic boyfriend (who later told me I was right) plus my already family issues so I graduated with poor grades (15/20, which in 0-10 rates would be 7,5). I didn’t go to any university, now i want too. — After that I left my life behind and for 3 years I didn’t really do things in my life because I got sick from severe psychosomatic disorder which led to have pains in every organ of my body without doctors be able to helping me, I became agoraphobic and isolated myself for 2 years, now thank God I can go to places. Nobody believed me. Now I’m trying to get back on my feet but fate challenges me. — As a woman I feel very bad for my mom because her life is a struggle but at the same time as a daughter I feel left in the cold and extremely depressed from her, and she doesn’t get it.
So here are few incidents with my mom to me:

1. Never believes in my dreams. She might express a good word when she feels like it and then she comes back to tell me that I can’t succeed and that my luck is bad and that the reason I was born was for bad reasons which have been in my subconscious mind now and I seem to attract bad life my whole life.
   
2. She doesn’t believe that anybody can like me romantically. If I tell her that “I sense that he likes me” she makes a disgusting face and says “you? U look like a kid. Nah” and if I tell her that “I don’t feel attractive” she says “you’re not, you have baby face you’re cute in ur own way, but it’s not attraction” and I’m like dude the way you explain it hurts.
   
3. If I don’t agree with her, I’m a loser or it means I want war with her when all I want is to express myself. I remember things she have done or said and tells me this never happened and it leads me to think that I’m losing my mind.
   
4. She doesn’t mind embarrassing me in front of the public even if I tell her “low your voice they are looking at us”, for example: She went to buy a phone once (she doesn’t treat herself either we are not well financially so this happens rarely) and she wanted an iPhone but there wasn’t available so a good Samsung one was available. I told her it’s not the same but if she really needs a new good phone that can endure in time she can take it. She did. Then blamed me for not being apple brand. Then I told her I will go to the bus to leave for work and that we will discuss it later. She came to the bus station where 20 people where tourists and non tourists, and she started yelling at me in front of everyone that I’m a bad daughter and that I don’t care for my mom which made me red out of shame. One of my colleagues was behind me drinking cofeee, I think she saw it all.
   
5. If I tell her that I don’t like something she does or that she crosses my boundaries, it means that I’m being a diva to her
   
6. She doesn’t mind making large noises when I’m sleeping. I think I have misophonia form this, I can’t stand noises when I’m trying to relax. I have told her about that that maybe it’s because of anxiety. She doesn’t care. My sleep is always interrupted it’s been years since I had a good sleep because of that. Most of the time I wake up with tachycardia because of the shock I get. And when I wake up angry she blames for sleeping. Blaming just works for her
   
7. If we disagree or I complain about something (not out loud) and we are on the streets walking she will walk in front alone and ignore my existence or act like I’m a zombie. Today we went out me her and my sister and I told my sister in front of her that I’m done of her behavior and that I’m already sad with my life and I can’t tolerate any more of this situation because I’m tired. She started saying that I’m a liar and two faced. Then my sister left, and we were walking home and she was walking alone and I told her “mom? Wait” to walk with her. She started acting like she can’t hear me and a man looked at me confused. I felt ashamed. Then she started running away from me like I was a criminal or something. Another guy looked at me like I was some type of monster who was chasing her. I felt so disgusting.
   
8. Everybody has their own relationship with god universe etc, right? And she has too, to her eyes her is the chosen one. But when I try to speak about my omens and the signs I receive she acts like I’m strange, if she is in a good mood she laughs but you can see in her face feeling weird.
   
9. When I’m with her I hate myself. I hate my voice. My face. Everything. I don’t know why but in her orneece I hate myself.
   
10. When I was younger I defended my mom to her family (her family sucks too) and my dad. This often resulted in them physically and emotionally abusing me because they hated a child telling them that they mistreated my mom. I told my mom about it years after. Her answer was “you didn’t do anything at all, you were supposed to do that, don’t act like a hero” yeah and you were supposed to make me feel safe lol
    
11. When we fight she often says “at least I like men” I have told her that I might be bi I’m not sure but like why u use that against me?
    
12. I feel embarrassed to talk for god to her even though she is a believer
    
13. She always says that she is my luck and that without her I’m luckless and that in general in my own I can’t make it
    
14. She doesn’t care about my health that much. She never believed me for my disorder even the neurologist told her “she is sick emotionally, she is sad and she is hurt and her body shows it without physical evidence which is challenging for her age, she is supposed to live life and now she is like this” my doctor also told me that “it’s like you have cancer but you don’t but you suffer like you do the only difference is that you’re not dying which to someone with cancer like this this would be a relief but you are alive” and my mom was like “yeah you’re mentally ill” no I’m sad. Sadness hurts like hell. After few years now she has some health issues and phychosomatic symptoms too. I try my best to give her advices and tell her from my experience and all she says is “shut up u don’t know anything” and I tell her “I suffered three years from it” and she simply ironically laughs. My sister started having psychosomatic symptoms too and I told her that you all have me, I didn’t have anyone and she feels like shit but idk.
    
15. She idolizes my sister and always says to the people that “my older daughter is something else, this one (me) is our problem”
    
16. If I isolate myself because of sadness she calls me sick and says that “I’m dark”
    
17. She says I’m violent , I’m not. She says I’m schizophrenic, I’m not. She says I might end up in jail. All these because my face looks like my dad. My dad has signs for all of these and she thinks I’m him. I want to do good to the world, I want to be married and have healthy kids. I want to be remembered for humanitiran spirit, I’m not like my dad and I’m not delulu, my dad is. Also both of my parents are victim mindsets, I don’t.
    
18. If I’m good with my sister she is angry and says “it’s 2 vs 1” for example if I say something and my sister agrees then we are plotting against her wtf. If we fighting then she tools my sisters side.
    
19. If I try to grow more and become more serious or mature to my opinions etc she cringes and says “why you act like an old lady?” Also she calls me a grandma and says “my soul is too old” and that “I’m boring” (nobody calls me a boring except her and tbh I know I’m not
    
20. She says I’m dependent to her and when I show signs that I want to leave she is like “no we are 3 women alone u can’t live on your own away from us” and when I stay she makes me regret for being born
    
21. She often says that my dad was right that he didn’t want me to be born and that I was really an accident she should have taken abortion
    
22. She judges everything I do even the smallest things
    
23. She curses me all the time. Telling me that I should suffer 10x than her for simply being me and that “even God is bored with me””
    
24. If she does a favor to me it will be mentioned to every fight and if I do to her it will be dismissed
    
25. She doesn’t even know my favourite colors
    
26. I’m always the burden and I’m the one who is being blamed for everything. If my sister gets sick, it’s my fault. If we missed the bus, its my fault. If the earth crushed with Jupiter it’s my fault.
    
27. I regret every goal I told her I want to accomplish
    
28. If someone played with me to her it means that my intelligence is low, not that my age comes with naivety.
    

So many more.. I even feel bad for telling my truth . I love her but I’m so done of her. I want healthy connections where I can be myself. Being with her feelings like eggshells.

Until about a month ago I was doing fine, but then I suddenly I started getting episodes of extreme depression, self hate, losing all sense of interest or pleasure in activities I enjoy, I’ve felt restless, I’ve felt a need to (and acted on) urges to self harm. Last night it got a lot worse to the point I felt I had 0 hope left and wrote a suicide note. I cannot figure out what is going on, does anyone have any idea?
It perfectly fits the description of bipolar I have noticed, but the episodes do not last as long as bipolar apparently does, only being 1-2 hours max at night every few days to every day.
I used this list from mayoclinic to compare

Major depressive episode

A major depressive episode includes symptoms that are severe enough to cause noticeable difficulty in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships. An episode includes five or more of these symptoms:
Depressed mood, such as feeling sad, empty, hopeless or tearful (in children and teens, depressed mood can appear as irritability) (applies) Marked loss of interest or feeling no pleasure in all — or almost all — activities (applies) Significant weight loss when not dieting, weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite (in children, failure to gain weight as expected can be a sign of depression) (applies according to my mum) Either insomnia or sleeping too much (applies) Either restlessness or slowed behavior (applies) Fatigue or loss of energy Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (applies) Decreased ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness (applies) Thinking about, planning or attempting suicide (applies)
I found this from the NHS

Who's affected

Bipolar disorder is fairly common, and around 1 in every 100 people will be diagnosed with it at some point in their life.
Bipolar disorder can occur at any age, although it often develops between the ages of 15 and 19. (I am 18 so I fit in the bracket)
Men and women from all backgrounds are equally likely to develop bipolar disorder.
The pattern of mood swings in bipolar disorder varies widely. For example, some people only have a couple of bipolar episodes in their lifetime and are stable in between, while others have many episodes.
I only seem to fit the descriptions of the depressive episodes however.
I am diagnosed with autism and anxiety
Medication: 40mg fluoxetine
My worry is that this doesn’t fit bipolar and I want to identify it ASAP so it can stop, it feels like it is ruining my life
I simply want to find a starting point to be able to discuss with my family and doctor

Disclaimer: this is just a rant of thoughts and feelings I have as a women with pcos working and studying healthcare. This is no disrespect to anyone.
I AM SO EXHAUSTED OF PEOPLE WITH PCOS TRYING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I understand that doctors go to school and they’re educated. However it is so frustrating to try and go to a doctor and explain your symptoms knowing they have no idea what it’s like to be you. I know there are doctors out there with PCOS. BUT OMG WOULD I LOVE A ENDO OR GYNE THAT HAS PCOS. It would be so comforting to know your provider knows how you feel and has experienced it. I feel so upset when I see posts on here that say HELP MY DOCTOR SAYS MY TESTS RESULTS ARE NORMAL, AND THATS IT. As a healthcare professional I understand the importance of lab work (it’s extremely important). However as a women with pcos I’ve seen my hormones, and lipids change. My symptoms haven’t necessarily gone away or changed when my bloodwork also does. I read a post on here today about someone’s provider saying their bloodwork was fine so no worries. LIKE DOCTOR YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, IM HAPPY MY BLOODWORK IS OKAY BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE SHIT. Growing up I have actually experienced a lot of different primary care doctors. (My mom switched jobs a lot and we were on her health insurance). What I noticed is doctors should always: 1. LISTEN TO YOUR CONCERNS, you should always feel heard 2. ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS FULLY, if they don’t have answers they should provide you with outside sources to help get you the answers. (Like referrals to other doctors, or saying they will do research for you). Doctors are humans they don’t know everything and that’s totally okay! But not an excuse to put us on the back burner. 3. HELP YOU MAKE A PLAN (rather that’s bloodwork, a nutritionist, medications, etc) EVERY ISSUE SHOILD BE ADRESSED IN THIS PLAN 4. TRUST YOU (in healthcare we are taught to always take the patients word, ofcourse there’s a few outliers). 5. REEVALUATE IF THE PLAN ISNT WORKING, CHANGE IT, AND NOT SHAME YOU EVER. (Can’t lose weight on the diet they recommend? Let’s change it. Don’t feel good on this medication? Let’s stop it and find something that works. Just giving examples) IF YOUR DOCTOR SHAMES YOU AND MAKES YOU FEEL BAD PLEASE GET A NEW DOCTOR. I strongly believe going to a doctor regularly is so important. I grew up being afraid to go, worried about being shamed for my weight. I’ve found a care provider who never makes me feel this way.
AS PATIENTS, it’s important we also do our best in listening to our doctor so they can get accurate results and truly pick the right plan for us. Personally I have sister who also deals with PCOS too. She met with a weightloss doctor and nutritionist who wanted her to log her food for 2 weeks to help formulate a plan for her. My sister refused to do so, she didn’t want to. If you don’t want to do something your doctor asks, BE HONEST ABOUT IT. Then you can see what other options you have or maybe this isn’t the doctor for you.
FOR US, please continue to work hard and stay motivated guys! NEVER FEEL SHAME for your struggles with PCOS. THIS IS HARD. But let’s all do our best to continue to not only advocate for ourselves but for other women with PCOS. We are the future for women with PCOS. Let’s continue to talk about our experiences and feelings. Push boundaries with healthcare till we get properly cared for.
Sorry. Just frustrated and wanted to rant. I’m sorry for all of you experiencing things like this.

I've seen quite a few posts about all the hints about Buck since seasons 1 or 2. I'm usually really good at picking up the breadcrumbs with characters that end up being LGBTQ, but not with Buck. And Hen's line to Karen "about damn time" had me wondering what did she pick up on? So, can any of ya'll list all the breadcrumbs I obviously missed? That would be great!
In regards to Tommy, I like him. I find him solid. Not a flake, but someone who is very confident, mature, and smart. To me, that's the type of love interest Buck needs. Buck is like a happy puppy who needs a calming and mature influence. That being said, I don't understand why they would reintroduce Tommy to help Buck step out into this new world.
I understand them wanting the viewers/fans to connect with the love interest, so bringing a familiar face back makes sense. However, the fact that the actor already has a fully developed character on another show sort of makes me think Tommy isn't a permanent fixture but more of a catalyst for Buck's bisexual awakening. I don't know if any of you ever watched Queer As Folk, but the same situation happened with Emmet and the football player. Emmet was there to help awakening this quys sexuality but in the end, they didn't stay together because the guy was just a baby in the queer world and it was time for him to explore instead of going straight into a relationship. That is my thought about Buck and Tommy.
For all intents and purposes, I would love for Buck to finally have a solid, mature relationship but is it really going to be with Tommy? I don't know. With the actor being on another show, I can't see them having a fully invested relationship on 9-1-1. Like with every other romantic relationship, the couple gets a lot of screen time to watch it develop, but I can't see that happening with Buck and Tommy if Lou has a bigger commitment to S.W.A.T.
Now, with regards to the "Buddie" ship, I rather it not happen. I've seen people mention the Buck breadcrumbs, but I've not seen anyone mention the same of Eddie. Eddie has WAY to many issues and traumas that the show has never tried to resolve. They just keep piling it on and having the symptoms leak out every now and again. So, to me it would just be so out of left field to make them a romantic pairing. It would be way too much about fan pandering. Let Eddie deal with his traumas and stop having him trape all these women in and out of Christopher's life.
So, as much as I like Tommy and the mature influence he can bring to Buck, I don't think having him as Buck's end all be all romantic interest will work. Not if they truly want to establish him in a committed relationship with a guy.

I’ve noticed a few women here mention adding extra estrogen gel based on symptoms and I’m considering trying it out. I’m in peri and I have a feeling that my estrogen levels fluctuate wildly, making it hard to find the right dose.
Previously, I just kept upping my dosage. I was at 1mg daily, but I think continuous high dosing eventually made me feel worse overall. Now I’m back to .5 on a patch which feels right at some times of the month, but I still get night sweats, insomnia, and aching hips at other times.
For those of you that supplement a patch with extra gel based on symptoms, what works best for you? Does the fluctuating dosage trigger migraines at all? Thanks!

Hi my fellow women with PCOS, Thanks so much for sharing here. This subreddit has been such a blessing to me and has helped me feel less alone. I wanted to warn all of you about IIH- Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension. For the past few months I've been complaining to my Primary Care Doctor about changes in my vision and frequent headaches. This whole time he's written off the changes in my vision as migraine auras. What's bothered me is the changes in vision are constant. I've had blurry vision and extra blurry peripheral vision 24/7. My brother convinced me to go to the ER a couple of weeks ago when my vision and headaches got worse. One of the doctors there mentioned that my symptoms correspond with IIH which is common among us child bearing women with PCOS. Apparently, they both share a common phenotype. After having a spinal tap done and seeing an ophthalmologist, the ophthalmologist confirmed that my eyes are swollen and I have IIH unless they find a brain tumor when they do an MRI, in the near future. The possibility of me having a brain tumor is so unlikely they're probably just going to start me on meds for IIH in the next couple of days. If I wasn't diagnosed right away I could have had optic nerve damage and/or total blindness. Other symptoms I had which I didn't realize were caused by IIH included neck stiffness and increased depression and forgetfulness. I wanted to warn you all in case you ever experience similar symptoms.

THE UPDATE PORTION! Well, it’s been 80 days since I posted my story (see below). I had 3 periods in the 6 weeks following removal but the 3rd one was a full on period like I normally have and that’s set the tone for the ones that have followed. The facial redness hasn’t left and I’m breaking out at random so that part sucks. I don’t know if my hormones are still regulating at this point, I had the IUD for 4yrs, or if this is just my normal now. In the weeks that followed I noticed an immediate drop in how bloated I had been over all. I was bloating up at every single meal, I don’t do that anymore and it’s WONDERFUL. I haven’t lost any weight but I haven’t really been trying to. Honestly, im scared to try because when I did (on the IUD) it was an uphill battle and I’d gain it all back and it sent me spiraling into depression. I’m scared that’s going to happen again. I have realized I likely have some form of body dysmorphia so that’s fun.
All that to say, I think that having it out has been largely positive for me. I don’t share my story to scare anyone. Every woman’s body is different and we will all react differently. I wish I’d visited this community sooner and known it existed when I first started exhibiting negative symptoms but I’m glad to have it now. I just encourage everyone to make informed choices as always and to track how you’re feeling etc over time when switching to an IUD.
(OG Post)IT’S OUT!
Many thanks to all of you lovely human beings in here. This has been such a supportive place and when I went to get my IUD taken out today I felt more prepared then when I had it put in thanks to all of you. I’m hoping that now I can finally experience normal weightloss/gain and that the tiredness and wild cravings go away. I’ve got my fingers crossed that my Mirena crash isn’t too bad but knowing my body that’s probably a crapshoot lol. All that to say, if I’d known then what I know now I wouldn’t get this IUD put in at all. I hope that all of you considering getting it know the risks but also just have a better over all experience than I did. This affects every woman differently and I know for many women this is a dream and that’s wonderful! We all deserve a birth control that works for us and our bodies.
EDIT FOR A QUESTION!
I wasn’t sure if this could be related since I haven’t seen it mentioned in this sub. When I was pregnant with my daughter I experienced redness in my face. That happened with my hormones when I had my son too so it wasn’t unusual. However, since having my daughter 4yrs ago it hasn’t gone away. My doctor thinks maybe a form of rosacea and I got tested for lupus which was negative. I got my IUD put in right at the six week clearance mark for marital relations so I had not been post pregnancy long enough to know if the redness would leave. However, given how many issues this IUD gave me is it possible the two are related? Has anyone else experienced this?

I'm currently 8 weeks, waiting for my pills to arrive via mail. I've been in contact with a women's aid group nurse who is going to instruct me remotely during the process.
Ive been told to keep a strict diet that excludes everything but omelets, fish, vegetables and fruit (and water). I don't know any others who have done MA, and I'm not sure if this is correct. Has anyone been trough the same? I'm asking because the restricting eating is not a great match for the pregnancy symptoms, I'm constantly weak and dizzy
Because this procedure is not legal in my country, everything is done under a lot of secrecy wich is making me feel insecure even tho this a Non profit organization (they did made me pay for the pills)
Might delete this post later for safety