When I(F23)was a freshman in highschool, there were two senior boys that I hated, who I'll call Sam and Mark for this story. They were jerks and bullies, just not in the physical sense. Sam was the leader, and would make rude and misogynistic comments towards nearly all the girls, and Mark would just stand by and laughed, which was almost worse. They were also very arrogant and felt they were invincible because they were the biggest guys in the whole school, including the male teachers. No one, not even the teachers or principle, had enough backbone to stand up to either of them, except my mom, who taught art, so they usually got away with stuff. My sister and I were usually left alone, since my mom could be a mean momma bear if provoked.
Anyways, back to Sam and Mark. Sam had this attitude that because he was a guy, all girls and women should do whatever he wanted and be grateful for even a sliver of his attention. Thankfully, I only had math class with him. During one class, our teacher showed up really late, and while we were waiting for the teacher, Sam demanded that the girl sitting next to him, a shy, quiet senior girl, get him a snack, because he was a man and girls should cook for men. There was no please or thank you, just a demand. Sam and Mark also often made fun of girl's appearances, and were just really loud and disruptive.
Now, to the revenge. I took a cooking class that year, and every week, we'd make a new recipe. Around Halloween time, in classic, basic white girl fashion, we were making pumpkin spice cupcakes. The recipe called for 1/4 of a cup of baking soda, and we got the cupcakes mixed up and baking with no issues. However, when we took the cupcakes out of the oven, they were a very dark brown, instead of the typical brownish orange of baked pumpkin, and they smelled awful! I had a tiny of one, and it tasted like cinnamon flavored baking soda instead of pumpkin spice! It was absolutely vile! After some discussion with our teacher, we discovered that the 1/4 of a cup of baking soda was a typo and it was supposed to have been 1/4 of a teaspoon! So, for those of you who don't bake, we had put in 48 times the amount of baking soda needed!
But, instead of throwing the horrible cupcakes away, one of my classmates had the funny idea to decorate them with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon and stand in the hallway and serve them to people during class change. Which is exactly what we did. Most of the students and teachers who tried them could tell something was wrong either by smell, or with one bite. But Sam and Mark ate two whole cupcakes each before Sam said, "these don't taste quite right." They thought twice about any food our class offered for a little while after that.
As far as I know, neither of them suffered any serious ill effects from eating those cupcakes, but it was very satisfying to see them eat those vile things. After all, if women were supposed to cook for men, then I was just doing what I was supposed to, right?! Thinking about that incident still makes me smile. Revenge was never as sweet as when I was 14.

In 2021 I suffered my first heartbreak. An almost 9 year long relationship came to an end. But in hindsight, I knew I wasn't as happy as I could be. So I moved on, and I grew. I spent the next 1.5 year or so on my own. It was transformative in a way, but incredibly isolating and lonely because I have no friends in this city.
Then in December 2022, I gave relationships another chance. The universe put this woman into my life and it was as if she was pulled right from my imagination. She possessed just about every quality I wanted in someone. Beautiful, sweet, kind, patient, funny, and accepting. She made me excited and invigorated about life again. She was the best thing that ever happenned to me.
Things haven't always been perfect. We've had arguments, rough patches and disagreements over certain things - but I always knew I'd rather work through things with her than to be without her, ever.
My mental health - be it my OCD, ROCD, Anxiety, Depression and trust issues have taken it's toll. I've been in therapy for a few months now and I've made lots of progress. Recently, things with her and I seemed great - largely because I was handling things significantly better. We were laughing more, enjoying one anothers company more, and getting to a healthier place after weathering a storm. But I guess it was too late, and the damage was done.
As of today, she's gone. What little, little sliver of hope I have isn't enough to convince myself that she's coming back to me. She went to stay with her family for a few days, and she told me that while she's there processing her feelings, she'll feel what she needs to feel, and if she changes her mind about us - so be it. But before driving away, she specifically said to "not cling to that hope, and prepare to have a conversation on Sunday when I come back to discuss our next move" (ie. Living situation...since I moved in with her in the Fall of 2023). She said maybe in time after some healing, who knows, maybe something happens with us. But she can't say for certain.
So here I am. More than likely back to where I was from 2021 to Winter of 2022. Alone. No one to really lean on. No one to come home to. No one to miss me.
I'm coming to accept that this is it for me. I was given this amazing person, and I fucked everything up. I had a future I was excited about, genuinely. I loved our little life together. I loved who she was and the person she was and how good she made me feel. I loved just sitting on the couch or running errands with her. I loved her dog like it was one of my best friends. It was good. And now it's most likely over.
There's no one else out there for me, because I've already had the one for me. And I let it fall apart. I refuse to let anyone in now, because for one - I don't deserve them. I'm a broken person. And two, it hurts too much one they leave. And they WILL leave.
All that awaits me now, as an almost 30 year old with nothing to show for it, is growing old and dying alone with not a soul to give a fuck about me when I finally go. What's the point in waiting that out?
I hate myself. I don't want to be alive.
I just keep thinking about how next week was her birthday now. The other day she told me about a dress she really loved. I told her I'd get it for her. The way her face lit up was everything to me. I was so excited to celebrate her next week. I booked a table at her favorite restaurant, was gonna take her out for breakfast first, then get her cupcakes from the best bakery in town, and head home to set up our air mattress in the living room to watch movies and play games all day (a throwback to a really lovely date night we had early on in our relationship), and whatever else she wanted to do.
I'm heartbroken

In 2021 I suffered my first heartbreak. An almost 9 year long relationship came to an end. But in hindsight, I knew I wasn't as happy as I could be. So I moved on, and I grew. I spent the next 1.5 year or so on my own. It was transformative in a way, but incredibly isolating and lonely because I have no friends in this city.
Then in December 2022, I gave relationships another chance. The universe put this woman into my life and it was as if she was pulled right from my imagination. She possessed just about every quality I wanted in someone. Beautiful, sweet, kind, patient, funny, and accepting. She made me excited and invigorated about life again. She was the best thing that ever happenned to me.
Things haven't always been perfect. We've had arguments, rough patches and disagreements over certain things - but I always knew I'd rather work through things with her than to be without her, ever.
My mental health - be it my OCD, ROCD, Anxiety, Depression and trust issues have taken it's toll. I've been in therapy for a few months now and I've made lots of progress. Recently, things with her and I seemed great - largely because I was handling things significantly better. We were laughing more, enjoying one anothers company more, and getting to a healthier place after weathering a storm. But I guess it was too late, and the damage was done.
As of today, she's gone. What little, little sliver of hope I have isn't enough to convince myself that she's coming back to me. She went to stay with her family for a few days, and she told me that while she's there processing her feelings, she'll feel what she needs to feel, and if she changes her mind about us - so be it. But before driving away, she specifically said to "not cling to that hope, and prepare to have a conversation on Sunday when I come back to discuss our next move" (ie. Living situation...since I moved in with her in the Fall of 2023). She said maybe in time after some healing, who knows, maybe something happens with us. But she can't say for certain.
So here I am. More than likely back to where I was from 2021 to Winter of 2022. Alone. No one to really lean on. No one to come home to. No one to miss me.
I'm coming to accept that this is it for me. I was given this amazing person, and I fucked everything up. I had a future I was excited about, genuinely. I loved our little life together. I loved who she was and the person she was and how good she made me feel. I loved just sitting on the couch or running errands with her. I loved her dog like it was one of my best friends. It was good. And now it's most likely over.
There's no one else out there for me, because I've already had the one for me. And I let it fall apart. I refuse to let anyone in now, because for one - I don't deserve them. I'm a broken person. And two, it hurts too much one they leave. And they WILL leave.
All that awaits me now, as an almost 30 year old with nothing to show for it, is growing old and dying alone with not a soul to give a fuck about me when I finally go. What's the point in waiting that out?
I hate myself. I don't want to be alive.
I just keep thinking about how next week was her birthday now. The other day she told me about a dress she really loved. I told her I'd get it for her. The way her face lit up was everything to me. I was so excited to celebrate her next week. I booked a table at her favorite restaurant, was gonna take her out for breakfast first, then get her cupcakes from the best bakery in town, and head home to set up our air mattress in the living room to watch movies and play games all day (a throwback to a really lovely date night we had early on in our relationship), and whatever else she wanted to do.
I'm heartbroken

We got married!!! We invited roughly 188 (then parents added a couple more), 170 rsvp-ed yes, and about 160 showed up.
Venue: $31k
I went with one of the Wedgewood locations, which is mostly all-inclusive. This amount included the venue fee, catering, open bar, DJ, florals for centerpieces and sweetheart table, 3-tiered wedding cake and extra desserts, photobooth, and day-of-coordinator. Our wedding was on a Saturday but we opted for a lunchtime wedding, both to save on costs and because our guests included older folks and children.

• Open bar included wine, beer, well cocktails, and 2 signature cocktails.
• For cocktail hour, we had 6 passed hor d'oeuvres.
• For the reception, we had a bread course, salad, and dual-plated salmon/steak meal.
• The package cost included 1 dessert serving per guest. 170 guests would have been a large 4-tiered cake, so we asked them to split that up. 100 servings went to the cake, and the other 70 were used for brownies, cookies, and cupcakes. Everyone did get a slice of cake, just a smaller piece, but this was fine since the original cake servings were already really big.

Extra Florals: $500
Since the venue package only included reception flowers, we paid a bit extra for ceremony flowers, bridal bouquets, bridesmaids bouquets, flower girl basket, and boutonnieres and corsages for groomsmen/parents.
Photographer: $3.5k
This includes $500 for the engagement shoot and $3k for the day-of with a second shooter, total 8 hours of coverage. Still waiting on the sneak peeks but our engagement shoot turned out great.
Stationery/Paper goods: $1.7k
Breaking it down, it was about $1200 for save the dates and invites, $200 for seating chart and table numbers, and the rest for thank you cards, postage, and the guest book. I splurged a bit for the stationery. More below, but our wedding was manga themed so we hired one of my old classmates to draw us for the STDs and invites. The STDs were in classic-90s shojo style and the invites with paper art. These were a huge hit and I loved how they turned out! The original art for these are hanging at home.
Attire/Beauty: $6.2k

• $1500 for the bridal gown with $650 alterations.
• $100 for Naturalizer shoes, veil from Etsy, and hair clip from Amazon.
• $250 for 2 bridesmaid's dresses.
• $1250 for tux rental for groom, 5 groomsmen (3 on his side, 2 on mine), and ring bearer from Friar Tux.
• $800 for wedding bands.
• $1500 for hair and makeup for bride, 2 bridesmaids, mother of bride, and flower girl (just hair).
• $200 for nails (but I get my nails done routinely at the same cost so not sure if this should be included).

Other: $6.9k

• $500 for officiant. It was a family member who is a pastor.
• $1500 for night-before hotel for bride, groom, bride's parents, and bridal party. The groom's parents live close to the venue and a couple of the bridal party opted to sleep at home.
• $1000 for Chinese-banquet-style rehearsal dinner for 16 people.
• $2000 for wedding favors. We got 2 songpyeons (Korean rice cakes) per guest.
• $150 for manga centerpieces. We had 19 tables and chose 19 of our favorite manga series to put volumes 1-2 on each table. I had a lot of books from my collection growing up, but had to buy extra used books from Bookoff.
• $250 for miscellaneous items, including card box, wedding license, ring bearer pillow, etc.
• $1500 for tips to Wedgewood staff and HMU artists.

Recap/Takeaways

• We paid for the wedding ourselves from our savings, so I'm glad the final cost was reasonable given the high guest count and HCOL area. We both have large families so over 100 of the guests were relatives. Totally worth it since our families haven't really gathered like this since before covid and it was such a nice reunion all around.
• Thank god the weather was fantastic. It's been raining in LA for several weekends, so we were getting worried. But day of, the weather was cool and cloudy during the outdoor ceremony, so guests weren't sitting in the sun and great picture lighting. And the sun came out late in cocktail hour and during the reception when we moved indoors.
• My groom and I grew up reading manga (Japanese comics) so we chose to incorporate bits of that theme into our wedding. We had manga as centerpieces at each table; our table numbers on the backside had a collage of iconic manga couples; our cake toppers were Pokemon card designs of us; and our signature drinks were named shonen/shojo. We were so happy to see so many kids reading during the wedding - it was just the sweetest. Future manga nerds!
• I posted about a year ago about taking out the dance floor and adding a book nook and got tore apart lol. In the end, we decided to do both. We kept the dance floor and placed comics on each table instead of a separate nook. Honestly in the end, there were more people reading than dancing, so I guess it's a "know your crowd" kind of thing. Most of the guests though spent time at the baphoto booth, outside playing lawn games, or just catching up at their tables.
• Morning weddings are cheaper and good for older guests/children but it was brutal on me and the bridesmaids. HMU was from 4am - 8am, in order for us to hit the 10am ceremony time.
• One cost we weren't so into were the favors. The favors themselves were lovely, but we just feel not necessary. More of an elder family ask, and most guests would have been fine without.
• My biggest letdown was the photo process. Absolutely no fault of our photographers. But we were behind schedule the entire day :( So I'm honestly not sure how many composed shots they were able to get. Reason being that SO MANY guests ran in front of the photographers, blocking their shot and trying to capture the moment on their iPhones instead. Very frustrating. This happened during the pre-ceremony (some guests arrived early at 9am and bypassed the lobby) and during cocktail hour. My groom and I, our day-of coordinator, and photographers spent so much time telling those guests to move and they just would not listen. One guest in particular blocked our photographer at least 15 times. Even some of our bridal party were guilty of this. Honestly not sure what we could've done differently since we can't control everyone, but just beware to future brides/grooms of this issue.

And if you made it this far, thanks for reading :) This subreddit has been really helpful in the planning process and I appreciate you all so much. Feel free to reach out if you have specific questions on vendors.

I didn’t know the best place to post this so I figured I’d try this sub.
So my fiancee and I are getting married next year in the fall. I am a HUGE lotfantasy nerd and he is more of a Star Wars/sci-fi geek.
We want to include both lotr and star wars in our wedding theme. But im struggling to figure out all the ways to incorporate both ideas without it clashing too much or coming off cheesy.
Here are my ideas so far: - On the invitation we were going to have a minimalistic hand drawn image of us on the backside, him in a tux and darth vader helmet holding a lightsaber, and me in a fantasy style wedding dress with elf ears holding a sword, standing back to back. Best way I can describe it 😅 - A photo booth area with props from both franchises. Lightsabers, swords, signs that say things like “I love you” “I know” “what about 2nd breakfast?” “I think im quite ready for another adventure” etc - Table names like “Tatooine” “Rivendell” “Naboo” “Erebor” - Signage that says “No admittance except on party business” and “This is the way” when walking to the ceremony/reception space - Cupcakes with little star wars/lotr toppers, were probably going to offer 2 flavors so we’ll split the toppers for each franchise (trying not to go too kids birthday with this, might scrap this idea if i can’t find something subtle)
Thats all ive got at the moment, were leaning towards blue, green and gold for the colors.
So am I crazy for thinking these two ideas will mesh well? Like I said I dont want it to be cheesy or costumey, just some touches here and there.
If y’all have any ideas for this please let me know!

I'm saving money for a printer, but I don't know any model that has certain caracteristics i want. I want it to be a toner printer (color and Black and white); that prints on paper, sticker paper, cardboard, and the plastic that is used on banners; it has to print on various paper sizes (Letter, A4, legal, etc) if its posible up to a paper that is 39". The thing is I have a graphic design bussiness, and i specialize in birthday designs (invitations, cupcake and cake toppers, birthday pennants, banners, etc), and currently i just make the designs. Do you know any printer or printers that would be useful for my bussines? I tried Google the caracteristics but I don't find explicit information of the printers. At least not the specifications I have. Or maybe i dunno how to search :( idk

** BOTH SAT 4/20 AND SUN 4/21 *\*
9 AM - 3 PM Rummage Sale for the flock Inez Neighborhood Park, 2001-2099 Wisconsin St. NE New to you household, personal items, jewelry, toys, clothing and so much more! Discover bargains while supporting the Birds of a Feather Parrot Rescue of NM!
1 - 2:45 PM ORPHEUS - the 1950 Jean Cocteau cinematic marvel, as part of our ongoing Arthouse Classics/Faves! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Check out the trailer. Dir. Jean Cocteau - 1950 - 95m - France - In French with English subtitles. Jean Cocteau’s update of the Orpheus myth depicts a famous poet (Jean Marais), scorned by the Left Bank youth, and his love for both his wife, Eurydice (Marie Déa), and a mysterious princess (Maria Casarès). Seeking inspiration, the poet follows the princess from the world of the living to the land of the dead, through Cocteau’s famous mirrored portal. Orpheus’s peerless visual poetry and dreamlike storytelling represent the legendary Cocteau at the height of his powers (tickets)
** Fri 4/19 *\*
Fri 11 AM – 6 PM 4 Year Anniversary and Ribbon Cutting Corrales Teas and Chocolates, 3923 Corrales Rd. Suite B, Corrales Steampunk themed. Come as you are or be creative with your steampunk outfit. Come mingle and meet new friends. Light snacks will be served
Fri 5 – 9 PM 3rd Friday "after-work" Practica (new event!) Las Puertas, 1500 1st St. NW Come unwind, get your good antics on, socialize and horse around practicing in good company and quality this dance we love. One great floor in 2 sections: Floor A: practice space, group work, tango therapy and mechanics help (technique). Floor B: Dance as if it were a relaxed milonga. Do your thing here 100% free, just keep the ronda harmony! ** 5-6pm "rando-tando" mixed music fun ** 6-9pm DJ'd sets (tandas and cortinas). $10~15 be generous / honor system * $10 if just dancing * $15 if you are getting some tango therapy/mechanics/group work ** we always provide healthy food and drink so enjoy!
Fri 5:30 - 7 PM Science on Tap: Attending to All Children National Museum of Nuclear Science & History, 601 Eubank Blvd. SE Science on Tap is not your ordinary lecture series. Grab a beer from Bombs Away Beer Company and enjoy a relaxed presentation by scientists, researchers, and subject matter experts on various engaging science topics. "Attending to All Children: Understanding how brain dynamics influences behavior to improve outcomes," with Dr. Julia Stephen, Mind Research Network. Join us for an insightful discussion of how Dr. Stephen uses non-invasive brain imaging to study brain activity in children. Her work has focused on finding early signs of atypical brain development to provide early intervention for developmental disorders, providing better outcomes for children. Doors 5:30 pm, start 6:00 pm, ends 7:00 pm. Admission is $10 per person, 21+ to attend. Admission will provide each guest with one beer ticket. Guests can purchase additional drinks. IDs are required. Please drink responsibly. Event tickets can be purchased in advance or at the door
Fri 5:30 – 7:30 PM Music At The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE Get ready for an electrifying experience with local artist Joseph Velasquez! Join us for a dynamic evening filled with soulful tunes and vibrant melodies as Joseph Velasquez takes the stage. Indulge in delicious bites from our food trucks, then kick back, relax, and immerse yourself in the captivating sounds of our talented local musician. This is your chance to support our vibrant music scene while enjoying a memorable night out. Don't miss the opportunity to groove to the rhythm of the music and savor the flavors of our community
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Friday Night Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Get ready to sway to the melodious tunes of Smooth Groove! Smooth Groove promises an evening filled with diverse musical delights. From variety hits to classic rock, Spanish beats to oldies goldies, they'll have you tapping your toes and dancing with joy. Get ready for a multifaceted musical journey that'll keep you entertained all night long! Fuel up for the dance floor with delectable treats from our fantastic food pods. With a mouthwatering selection ranging from savory bites to sweet indulgences, there's something to satisfy every craving. And what's a celebration without a refreshing beverage? Quench your thirst with a craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing , served up at the El Vado Tap Room. With an array of brews to choose from, you're sure to find the perfect complement to the vibrant atmosphere. Gather your loved ones, invite your friends, and join us for an evening of dynamic music, scrumptious food, and lively vibes
Fri 6 - 9 PM Variety Social Dance CSP Dance Studios, 1624 Eubank Blvd. NE Dive into the joy of dance among friends who inspire! Join us where community through movement takes center stage. For just $10 cash at the door, you'll have the opportunity to sample and practice social dancing a variety of dances including ballroom, Latin, country, swing and line dancing. This is your invitation to try something new, meet like-minded individuals, and practice social dancing in a welcoming, supportive environment. The night kicks off with a welcome lesson from 6:00-6:30pm, making it ideal for beginners or anyone to meet new people before the dance floor opens up. Step into a night of dance, discovery, and community
Fri 6 – 9 PM Shared Futures Dance Party Explora, 1701 Mountain Rd. NW On Adult Night, Explora opens up their amazing facility and interactive exhibits to those 18 years old and older. DJ Ren and DJ Moonside will be spinning live from the Rotary Pavillion upstairs in the northeast corner. If the weather is nice we can open the garage doors to the outside. There is usually a food truck outside. This evening will involve interactive pieces with Shared Futures! "Shared.Futures is a SciArt collaborative where we bring together local scientists and artists. Together, we aim to communicate scientific perspectives through artistic mediums to showcase what our shared futures can look like." Admission - $14, Students, Seniors, Military - $11, Explora members get in free! 3 channels of music to choose from: Channel 1: DJs Moonside and Ren spinning live!, Channel 2: Dance mix TBD, Channel 3: a mix of science related music and sounds. We use radio frequencies to transmit to the headphones so you should be able to tune in wherever you decide to roam, inside or out! The main place to pick up and drop off your headphones when you are done will be in the entrance area where you pay admission...
Fri 6 - 9 PM Crazy Bird Tractor Brewing - Westside, 5720 McMahon Blvd., Bldg 5, Ste A Crazy Bird is back! We’ve got some new tunes, some old hits, and as always we keep it entertaining. Come have some delicious beer, enjoy the food truck or the ton of options nearby, and dance with us
Fri 7 - 9 PM Gilbert Uribe The Craft Kitchen in The Taproom at Old Town, 524 Romero St. NW Award winning singer-songwriter Gilbert Uribe performs a vibrant blend of Acoustic Latin & Soul Music he calls “Sabrosoul”. Hailing from New Mexico, Gilbert combines elements of Reggae/Rocksteady, the feel-good vibes of Classic Soul and R&B, and the rhythms of Cumbia and Salsa to create a unique musical experience
Fri 7 – 9:30 PM Bluehouse Casa Vieja, 4541 Corrales Rd., Corrales Bluehouse brings their South Valley rock north to Corrales! Enjoy Casa Vieja’s ambience and hospitality. Beer, food truck, friends, dancing, FUN!
Fri 7 – 10 PM Once Upon a Waltz Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE Make your whimsical dreams come true as you glide across the dance floor as your favorite Disney persona. A romantic waltz lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing at 8pm. Dress to impress! Refreshments will be served. $30 for non-members
Fri 7:30 – 10:30 PM 90's Country Covers Night w/ Back In The Saddle Band Tractor Brewing - Wells Park, 1800 4th St. NW Come two step to the songs you know and love live by the incredibly talented Back In The Saddle! They'll play all the hits you know and love from George Straight, Brooks and Dunn, and Miranda Lambert!
Fri 8 PM Live Salsa with Son Como Son Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Dance to live Salsa with Son Como Son, hosted by DJ Solovino. Authentic Cuban Salsa with Son Como Son on Juno's patio. 21+. Come early and get a pizza or another item from Juno's menu; kitchen stays open until 9:45 (tickets)
Fri 8 – 11 PM Coffin Club w/ DJ Riff Rat Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE Get your darkest outfit, blackest Dr. Martins, and thickest eyeliner because we got a night of old school deathrock, Goth, batcave aesthetic by the always talented DJ Batboy!
Fri 8 – 11 PM The Prelude with DJ Soiree Two Cranes Bistro and Brew, 901 Rio Grande Blvd. NW Join us for an unforgettable evening filled with unbeatable vibes, fantastic drink specials including $5 wells, $5 house margaritas, and $3 Dos Equis, and best of all, no cover charge! Gather your friends and indulge in delicious eats, crafted cocktails, and incredible music as we set the stage for an epic Friday night. Don't miss out on the ultimate pre-party destination!
Fri 9 PM – 1 AM Callaita Fridays: A Reggaeton Experience The Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW Embark on an electrifying journey into the heart of Latin music. Join us for a night that promises to be nothing short of extraordinary, as we welcome DJ Soiree & DJ Primo Swift to ignite the dance floor with their infectious beats. Prepare to be swept away by the pulsating rhythms and contagious energy that fill the air as soon as you step into our vibrant venue. Feel the essence of Reggaeton come alive as DJ Soiree & DJ Primo Swift curate an experience that will keep you moving and grooving all night long. From classic hits to the latest chart-toppers, they know exactly how to set the stage for an unforgettable experience. This event is exclusively for 21+, ensuring an atmosphere where you can let loose and fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a seasoned Reggaeton enthusiast or simply looking for a night of unparalleled fun and excitement, "Callaita Fridays" promises to deliver an experience like no other (tickets)
Fri 9:30 PM – 2 AM RUSKO Electric Playhouse, 2611 Corona Dr. NW The Leeds-born DJ/producer who ascended with the original U.K. dubstep movement — and gave it one of its first and most enduring anthems, a bolt of foul-mouthed rave lightening called "Cockney Thug" — is here to tell you that music is not about labels and dance is no fad. And to prove it, he proudly presents "SONGS": His gutsy, freewheeling, brilliant second album. "The sound of my early releases was very dub-influenced, and just good, fun, bouncy vibes," he says. "The majority of dubstep at the moment I think is aggressive, and I don't like angry music; I don't want to be angry in a club. So I wanted to make something really happy, but still heavy." "Happy and heavy" is a proper way to describe the vibe that has carried Rusko from the first moments of dubstep's life to the biggest stages in the world; from a single, seminal bass wobble to a swath of sounds that can't be capped in a few simple syllables (tickets)
** Sat 4/20 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM ABQ Backyard Refuge City Hall, 3200 Civic Center Cir NE, Rio Rancho Join this information session with ABQ Backyard Refuge (a program of Walle De Oro National Wildlife Refuge) to learn about how to transform your outdoor spaces into a refuge for migratory and native birds, pollinators and more. Presentation attendees will get priority entry into the Tree Seedling Giveaway. For more information, please contact Keep Rio Rancho Beautiful at 505-549-8030 or Email [ndahl@rrnm.gov](mailto:ndahl@rrnm.gov)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 9 AM – 12 PM Four Hills Village Spring Cleanup Campaign 748 4 Hills Rd. SE The Four Hills Village (FHV) neighborhood will be participating again this year in the city-wide Spring cleanup campaign. The Four Hills Village Association has registered for the event and has arranged for trash bags and gloves to be available for those who participate from our neighborhood. Meet at the Four Hills Barsis Park on Running Water and Stagecoach to pick up trash and debris in that area, and/or the intersection of Four Hills Road and Winterwood Way to cleanup along the walkways from there to the Tijeras Canyon bridge. Please join us to help keep our neighborhood park and other public spaces looking nice
Sat 9 AM – 3 PM A Day of Mud, Sweat & Cheers: Mudding Day and Spring Cleaning 966 Old Church Road, Corrales Helping the Historic Old San Ysidro Church will light you up! You'll develop new skills, meet new people, connect with your community, and expand your horizons! Come lend a hand! Learn to mix and apply adobe plaster on the courtyard walls. Gardeners: help clean up beds and plant flowers. Cleaners: annex, storage, spruce up upholstered chairs. Organizers: storage room and attic await. Painters: stain wood on the Annex Portal. Remember gloves, hats, old clothes, sunscreen, shovel, hoe, rake, trowel, hand spade, clippers, upholstery brush, rags, etc. We feed workers free breakfast and lunch! The Old Church is now 156 years old! The Corrales Historical Society has been taking good care of her for 51 years -- With your help, we can keep her going into the next century!
Sat 9 AM – 4 PM Spring Craft Fair Highland High School, 4700 Coal Ave SE Get some early Mother's Day shopping done, support local crafters and help the Highland Senate and Band programs raise money for school events!
Sat 10 AM Fight For Air Climb Albuquerque Fire Academy, 11500 Sunset Gardens Rd. SW Do Good, Feel Great! Our popular Fight for Air Climb event is designed for every type of climber, from beginner to competitive! The Premier Stair-Climbing Event in ABQ. Spaces fill up quickly, so save you spot on the stairs today! Why our Climbs are so special: -Where we climb...the country's most iconic locations where you'll see the world from a whole different perspective. -How we climb...with friends and family in a fun, celebratory atmosphere of hope and positivity. -Firefighters and First Responders....unhealthy air is an occupation hazard for these everyday heroes-come out to climb and show your appreciation. -When you do the climb, you support people with lung disease who are fighting for every breath (register)
Sat 10 AM – 1 PM Spring Fling Benefiting Locker 505! Meraki Coffee+Market, 5900 Eubank Blvd. NE With Spring in full bloom, it's time to freshen up our homes and hearts as we embrace the spirit of spring and Earth Day. It’s also Albuquerque’s 318th birthday. So much to celebrate! Clean out your closets and come enjoy a great Saturday with us. We’ll be collecting the following items: * Girls' shirts/t-shirts (sizes 5 to 14) * Boys' shirts/t-shirts (sizes 5 to 16) * Girls' jeans/leggings/sweats (sizes 4 to 16) * Boys' jeans/sweats (sizes 4 to 16) * Hygiene items: shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, lotion, deodorant, brushes/combs (travel and full-size) * Toys: gently used or new, because every kid deserves a little joy!
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! April 20: Hops
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Spring Fling Cornucopia Adult Day Services, 2002 Bridge Blvd. SW Come support adults/seniors with different abilities and join us for a our 2nd annual Spring Fling at Cornucopia. We will be hosting a Greenhouse sale & pot swap with plants all grown by our community. There will be food, drinks, entertainment, facepainting, vendors, silent auction & more
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Shop Local Market Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE Rio Rancho If you are a local vendor, come out to Cabezon Park’s local market! We support all things local! Everything must be handmade, or homegrown. No franchise companies. No resale of items. No political booths. No prepared food from Big Box Stores! No premade items re-branded and resold as homemade! No products containing non-sustainable oils. No products containing preservatives, colorants, etc., that are artificial, chemical or contain carcinogenics. No sale of weapons or alcohol. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info. Vendor Space $35 for a 15x15 space (tables & chairs not provided). Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. No admission fee for shoppers
Sat 10 AM – 4 PM Manzano HS Football 2nd Annual Mattress Fundraiser Manzano High School, 800 Juan Tabo Blvd. NE Come get a better night’s sleep AND support Manzano HS FOOTBALL with their 2ND Annual Mattress & Adjustable Bed Sale Fundraiser Event! We carry quality name brands like Southerland, Malouf, Englander, Tranquility, and Wellsville. With HUGE savings off retail prices, this is a ONE DAY only event! We need your help to SPREAD THE WORD by inviting all of your family and friends! We will have a mattress showroom set up at Manzano High School gym. Every purchase supports MANZANO FOOTBALL! Sleep Better, Save Money, Support the KIDS!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12 PM Community Clean-Up Mesa Verde Community Center, 7900 Marquette Ave NE NO OPEN-TOED SHOES. Cleaning up loose trash is one of the best ways to pitch in for your community and the environment. Volunteering as a means to help conserve and protect the environment has a lot of upsides. Of course, the first is that you’ll be taking care of our planet, and it badly needs a little love given the myriad ways in which we’ve become adept at destroying it. But beyond that, volunteering for a cause you care about is a great way to meet like-minded people, make friends, and pull yourself out of the blues that sometimes accompany caring a lot about something important – especially if you feel alone in your endeavors. None of us like the sight of litter. Litter spoils the look of where we live but that’s not the only reason for picking up litter. There are a number of benefits from picking up litter that you may not have considered before. Volunteer-led projects such as these are one of the quickest, simplest, and least expensive ways to inspire more community spirit and civic action. A visually appealing community increases property values, attracts businesses, and improves the neighborhood's image. Beauty is one of the three most influential factors in community attachment, which means loyalty, to your particular town or city. Some research even shows that a nice-looking neighborhood promotes good behavior. Join us in keeping your community clean!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 2 PM Seed Share Alameda Greenhouse, 9515 4th St. NW Join us in celebrating FIFABQ's 10th Anniversary & our 9th Annual Seed Share! We are THRILLED to announce our partnership with Alameda Greenhouse, a local gem that has supported our Seed Share for the past 3 years. An extra special fact: Alameda cultivates their own seedlings, from seeds, rather than buying from large manufacturers. Be prepared to kick-start your gardening journey with their baby plants, giving you a head start while you await your seeds to blossom. Convenient on-site accessible parking, public parking across the street with a crosswalk, and a nearby bus stop (Route 10: 4th & Alameda) make it easy for you to join the festivities. EVEN MORE exciting news! Quirky Books is your go-to drop-off point for seeds, whether you're sharing bulk seeds or neatly sorted ones. If you can't make it to our in-person seed prep events, utilize this fantastic space to contribute. Remember to mention they're for FIFABQ. Learn more about our Prep Days
Sat 11 AM – 2 PM Environmental Justice Community Celebration Valle de Oro National Wildlife Refuge, 7851 2nd St. SW Hosted by the Refuge and our valued partners, this year's theme "Connecting Through Our Roots" highlights the deep ties that bind us - to each other, to our community, and to the earth beneath our feet. From the Green Machine to captivating dance performances by iLANDS and Sin Fronteras, and from hands-on educational workshops covering farming, plant restoration, and tile making to immersive Refuge and EJ Toxic Tours, there's something for everyone to enjoy and learn from. Fun Educational Activities for Family and Friends. Kayaking + Farming + Music + Dance + Food + EJ Toxic Tour + Wildlife Viewing + Art + More!
Sat 11 AM – 11 PM 420 Block Party Cheba Hut, 115 Harvard Dr. SE Get ready to elevate your 420 experience!
Sat 12 PM Day Drinking for a Cause Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE and Canteen Taproom, 417 Tramway Blvd. NE Join us for our 3rd annual Day Drinking for a Cause! $1 from every pint sold at the Brewhouse and Taproom will be donated to New Mexico Volunteers for the Outdoors. We will have live music all day! We're excited to welcome to our stage Mineral Hill, Radio Free ABQ, Le Chat Lunatique, and Los Metamorfos. Come have fun and support a good cause at the same time
Sat 12 PM 4/20 Backyard Market The ABQ Collective,1321 Eubank Blvd. NE Join us and The Bad Company! Destiny MC will be hosting and we’ll be having live comedy from Zach Abeyta, live music from Levi Platero, an Open Mic portion, over 20 local vendors, food trucks and more. PLUS! If you’re interested in joining us as a vendor...you’re in luck! There are still one or two spots left. Send an email to [backyardmarket@theabqcollective.com](mailto:backyardmarket@theabqcollective.com) and we’ll send you an invite
Sat 12 – 4 PM Albuquerque's Birthday Celebration Old Town, 2000 N Plaza St. NW The Department of Arts & Culture is excited to celebrate Albuquerque's 318th Birthday with food, fun, live music, and local flair in the heart of the City. This party will feature birthday must-haves such as face painting, entertainment, and specials at a variety of participating Old Town stores. There will be something for everyone to enjoy at this party! Gazebo entertainment will include performances by Ballet Folklorico Fiesta Mexicana, Mariachi Tenampa, and Baracutanga (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Great New Mexico Food Truck & Craft Beer Festival Balloon Fiesta Park, 5500 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Food Truck Festivals of America is back for the 8th Annual Great New Mexico Food Truck & Craft Beer Festival! Prepare to indulge in the flavors of the Southwest as some of the area's top food trucks serve up their fan-favorite dishes. Quench your thirst with a wide selection of craft brews from regional and national breweries, along with other beverages to suit every taste. But that's not all! Live music by SHiSTR and TRAVELER IN PAIN to keep the party going, an arts market to explore, and games, brought to you by Ultimate Tailgating, for the whole family to enjoy. Don't wait – snag your half-off General Admission Tickets now! Advance tickets are just $5, with prices increasing to $10 at the gate. Remember, festivals are rain or shine – so come prepared for a fantastic time, no matter the weather! VIP Truck is - Italian Ice Rio *ONLY SERVICE DOGS ALLOWED
Sat 12 – 5 PM El Vado Spring Market El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW It's going to be a beautiful Spring Market at El Vado! Let's shop local and have a blast - with live music, incredible food and vendors! Park at the Botanical Gardens for frustration-free parking!
Sat 12 – 5 PM Cinco de Mayo Pet Photos Boofy's Best for Pets, 4610 Cutler Ave NE, Ste A Dress up your pets (and yourself!) in celebratory colors and join us for Cinco de Mayo Pet Photos. All well-behaved critters and humans are welcome, and the $5 per photo suggested donation benefits the cats and kittens of FAT KATZ. Photography provided by Winstonfoto.com
Sat 12:30 – 4 PM Sidetrack Brewery Earth Day Plant Sale! Sidetrack Brewing, 413 2nd St. SW Celebrate Earth Day with a beautiful new plant! Our latest stock is absolutely fabulous and we can’t wait to share!
Sat 2 PM Earth Day - Spring Gardening Workshop and Acequia Movie Screening 4920 Rio Grande Blvd NW, Los Ranchos Celebrate Earth Day with us at our in-person event! Join us for a fun and educational Spring Gardening Workshop where you can learn tips and tricks for a successful garden. After the workshop, relax and enjoy a screening of "Acequias: The Legacy Lives On" with director Arcacely "Arcie" Chapa. 2 pm: Spring Gardening Workshop, 3 pm: Movie Screening. $5 per person; the purchase of a ticket includes access to both activities. Purchase tickets online or with cash at the door
Sat 2 – 4 PM National Water Dance Rio Grande Nature Center State Park, 2901 Candelaria Rd. NW Keshet Dance is excited to join the annual National Water Dance Projects! “Moving Forward Together,” here in the Southwest, speaks specifically to the denial of Navajo Nation water rights. This multidisciplinary showcase explores water as both sacred and essential, and delivers a powerful, inspirational experience. National Water Dance (NWD) is a biennial event which gathers dance teachers, practitioners, choreographers, and community members to take part in simultaneous dance across the nation. The Park Day-Use Fee is $3 per vehicle exact cash or check (Friends of the RGNC permit holders and NM State Parks annual permit holders enter free with valid permit displayed). Performance is FREE! (more info)
Sat 2 – 10 PM American Lung Association Climb After Party Marble Brewery Westside, 5740 Night Whisper Rd. NW Complete your 'Fight for Air Climb', then meet us at MBWest! We're hosting the ALA for their after party fundraiser and concert featuring: - Seven of Nine - State of Mind - The Cameron Kimbrough Duo
Sat 4 – 10 PM 4.20 Music Fest Marble Brewing, 111 Marble Ave NW It's time for our annual 4.20 Music Fest! We have a great live music lineup, food trucks and great beer; what's not to love? Vibestrong 4-5PM, Trinity Soul 5:30-7PM, The Irie 7:30-8:30PM, DaJerney 9-10PM
Sat 4:20 PM AND 7:15 PM Dazed and Confused Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Alright. Alright. Alright. Don’t miss the adventures of high school and junior high students on the last day of school in May 1976. See it with a bud (tickets)
Sat 5 PM Family Movie Night - ENCANTO! La Mesa Presbyterian Church, 7401 Copper Ave NE All are welcome! Free movie and popcorn in Fellowship Hall!
Sat 5 – 7 PM April Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW We're celebrating April Babies! The first 25 people with April birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the April Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the April Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too. If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 off for April Birthdays the whole day!
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented EQNX Jazztet opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 5:30 – 11 PM 3rd Annual Denim & Diamonds Gala Sheraton Uptown, 2600 Louisiana Blvd. NE Join us for an unforgettable night to empower those with Down Syndrome. Dress up in cocktail attire and get ready for an amazing evening filled with fun and excitement. You can score early bird pricing if you purchase now! We're looking for sponsors, so if you or someone you know wants to support a great cause, reach out to us!
Sat 6 PM Wine & Dinner Pairing Pasando Tiempo Winery, 3741 NM-528 NW Indulge in a four-course gourmet meal expertly crafted by a local chef to tantalize your taste buds, perfectly paired with exquisite New Mexico wines to elevate your dining experience. $120/ per person. Don't miss out on the chance to savor the flavors of the season in an elegant setting. Reservations Required, call (505)228-0154
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Malik Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's time for Gone Country Saturdays featuring the incredible DJ Malik! Kick off the excitement with free dance lessons starting at 5 pm, followed by a night of family-friendly entertainment until 9 pm. Join us for a fantastic evening filled with music and memories you won't soon forget!
Sat 7 PM Old School Jamz Dance 1015 Rio Grande Blvd. NW Dancing to Old School R & B music. The host will also take requests to hear your favorite songs. Let's love this music that we can hear
Sat 7 – 9 PM Lotería: A Game Night For NM Locals Tractor Brewing - Wells Park, 1800 4th St. NW Loteria encantada! The bingo mas chingon! Practice your Spanish. Drink beer and play a fun game celebrating our NM heritage. Win prizes! No cover or charge to play!
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month at the Nob Hill Public House. Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM Sparks Night - Galactic Disco Party! hosted by VICE Lizard Tail Brewing Nob Hill, 3417 Central Ave NE, Ste C Head over to our monthly NM Burner Meet & Greet, Sparks Night, hosted by the spectacular VICE - this time in Galactic Disco Party style! With music provided by DUB COMMITTEE with special guest DJ Pup Massimo - all in the realm of funky groovin' disco house, tech house, melodic house, nudisco & deep house. Food menu and you're also allowed to bring in your own outside food. No cover as always, but if you'd like to donate to SunBurn to help fund our Art Department's grants and make the event even better all around
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - Saturdays! Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE DJ Gabriel Goza will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover. Salsa or Bachata lesson 9:00-9:45pm
Sat 9 PM – 2 AM Saturday Night Techno Affair Insideout, 622 Central Ave SW TECHNO returns to INSIDEOUT with one of the fastest rising names out of Atlanta: SAM WOLFE making his New Mexico debut at our SATURDAY NIGHT TECHNO AFFAIR! His collab track 'Aktivate with legend UMEK been in our rotation since it came out. POLYGLOT + ATMOZE joining him on that hometown support. We are bringing out FUNKTION-ONE sound with DIGIFUNK on this one as well. This is part of our double headliner showcase at El Rey Mezz & Insideout with SCIN.TIL.LATE which we also got QUACKSON bass headliner out of PNW will be taking over Mezz same night as well. ONE TICKET - TWO SHOWS. GRAB very limited amount of tickets before doors
Sat 9:45 PM AND 10:15 PM Shrek At Night Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW "We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles!" Stay up late with us at our SHREK AT NIGHT show! Sip on a super dank, specially-brewed beer and join us for a special $4.20 showing of the greatest fairy tale never told (tickets)
Sat 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM ALTERED STATES - the 1980 Ken Russell intense mindbender, a 94 Rock classics pick for a 4/20 haps! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Check out the trailer. Dir. Ken Russell - 1980 - 102m. Academy Award-winner and Golden Globe-nominee William Hurt ("Syriana," "The Village"), Emmy and Golden Globe-nominee Blair Brown ("Dogville," "Space Cowboys"), Emmy-nominee and Golden Globe-winner Drew Barrymore ("Charlie's Angels," "50 First Dates") and Emmy-nominee Charles Haid (TV's "Third Watch," "Hill Street Blues") star in this terror spectacle by visual wizard Ken Russell about a research scientist whose experiments unlock the horrors of his mind. Written by Academy Award-winner Paddy Chayefsky ("Network") (tickets)

I'm planning to make some for cupcake toppers but I'd like to do as much in advance as I can. I've made candied lemon slices before but used them the same day. Some sources say they're only good for 24 hours others say they're good for weeks. Which is it?

Planning a birthday party for your little one? Whether they're turning five or fifteen, creating the perfect atmosphere with birthday decorations can make their special day even more memorable. From whimsical themes to vibrant colors, here's your ultimate guide to sprucing up the celebration with fun and festive birthday décor.
Choose a theme for your birthday party decoration from Take Rent Pe, an online provider of rental decoration settings, to make it even more memorable and spectacular. Choose from the more than 100+ décor set options available, and let the experts handle all aspects of the event planning.

1. Choose a Theme: Start by selecting a theme that reflects your child's interests. Whether they're into superheroes, princesses, or dinosaurs, there's a theme to suit every preference. Once you have a theme in mind, it becomes easier to coordinate decorations, from tableware to banners and balloons. For instance, if your child adores unicorns, opt for pastel colors, glittery accents, and unicorn-shaped decorations to transform the space into a magical wonderland.
   
2. Set the Scene with Balloons: Balloons are essential for any birthday celebration decoration. Create eye-catching balloon bouquets in coordinating colors or shapes to add a festive touch to the party space. Consider using helium balloons to float above tables or tying them to chairs for a whimsical effect. You can also get creative with balloon arches or backdrops to serve as Instagram-worthy photo spots for guests to capture memories.
   
3. Deck Out the Dessert Table: Don't scrimp on the birthday decorations for the dessert table, as it is the focal point of the celebration. For an eye-catching display, place cupcakes, cookies, and cake pops on tiered stands with a themed tablecloth serving as the backdrop. To intensify the joyful atmosphere, add edible glitter, colored confetti, or themed cake toppers. For added specialness, consider including a personalized birthday banner or sign for the birthday child.
   
4. Personalize with DIY Touches: Get crafty and add personalized touches to the birthday party decorations. Create custom party hats or crowns for the guests to wear using cardstock, glitter, and adhesive. Design a DIY photo booth with props related to the party theme for guests to strike a pose and capture fun memories. Encourage creativity with a craft station where kids can decorate their own party favors or keepsakes to take home.
   
5. Let the Lights Shine: Set the mood and add a magical ambiance to the party space with decorative lighting. Hang string lights or fairy lights around the room or outdoor area to create a warm and inviting atmosphere. Consider using LED candles or lanterns for a safer alternative to traditional candles. You can also incorporate glow-in-the-dark elements for an extra dose of excitement, especially for evening birthday celebrations decoration.
   
6. Finish with Finishing Touches: Pay attention to the small details to tie everything together seamlessly. Scatter themed confetti or table scatter around the party area for an extra pop of color. Use themed plates, cups, and napkins to complement the overall decor scheme. Consider incorporating fresh flowers or greenery for a natural touch that adds elegance to the celebration.
   
7. Engage the Senses: Enhance the birthday party decoration experience by engaging all the senses. Play upbeat music to set the tone and encourage dancing and laughter. Serve themed snacks and treats that not only look good but also taste delicious. Consider incorporating sensory activities like a DIY slime station or a bubble machine for interactive fun that keeps kids entertained throughout the party.
   

In conclusion, birthday decoration is a key element in creating a fun and festive atmosphere for your child's special day. By choosing a theme, incorporating balloons, personalizing DIY touches, and paying attention to details, you can create a memorable birthday celebration that your little one will cherish for years to come. So let your creativity shine and get ready to throw the ultimate birthday bash!

OBVIOUSLY, No matter what I do, I know it's best to let the frosting cool down before moving or decorating the cupcakes. It's not worth getting a burned tongue or melting the fondant toppers.
What I mean is, will the Frosting still be firm enough for adding on fondant toppers after the cooling down has happened...? Or would torching the frosting leave it too soft for solid decorations? 🤔 This is my first time making a s'mores themed dessert.
Recipe I'm looking at:
https://pin.it/78m59oCdv

The bridezilla was really a groomzilla. This is actually more funny than exasperating. To set the scene, our theme was roaring 20’s and colors were gold and black. We got married in 2020, 15 days before the world imploded. We had no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Only an officiant.
My husband is the most laid back, non demanding man. He just goes with the flow nearly always so his Groomzilla moments made me really laugh. Every step was executed by me from research to purchases but he made the demands. Here are some: - First was having a wedding and reception, I wanted to go to a Justice of the Peace but he had to have an event - My mother made our invites and he decided which mocked up version to use (with my input but he decided) - We wanted to keep it small but he added 30 extended family members to the guest list after the invitations were mailed so my mom had to make more and I had to mail them. - Many of the additional guests decided to attend so I had to change the facility reservation to add more room/tables/food. - His suit/shoes cost 4x what my dress/shoes cost - He insisted on a small custom cutting cake with quilted fondant, gold pearl accents, dahlia sugar flowers and a custom topper - he specifically asked for these decorations - He required 3 flavors of cupcakes (instead of 2) with sparkly musical note decorations (I wanted a Costco cake) - I wanted to buy chocolate cigars but he insisted we hand make them (75 cigars with custom bands and home made cigar boxes) - We had to learn the Charleston and perform it for everyone (it turned out cute) - He had to review and approve every table place card, centerpiece, and decoration (all of which were hand made by me) - He wanted custom vows which I was on board with because I was never going to agree to obey him (despite how compliant this post makes me seem) - Instead of rice, bird seed, or bubbles for a send off, he wanted kazoos. - His ring was more expensive than my wedding band and engagement ring combined - He insisted on first class flights for our Caribbean cruise honeymoon (he had never flown first class prior) - he said this was for me because I deserve to be treated like a queen - He had to approve every song played during the reception including the order of when songs were played.
All of the things he wanted, I made sure my groomzilla got and for the last 4 years, he’s spent every day making me happy.

EDIT: Thank you for the response. I have currently received enough applicants to review.
Hello!
I'm looking for a Canva designer that can create themed invitation sets for printable templates.
I will provide the base Canva templates and they will just need to be updated to fit the theme I give you. Themes could be wildflowers, teddy bears, dinosaurs, donuts, etc.
The same colors, fonts, and graphics should be on all pieces to create a unified theme. All graphics can be Canva stock images, but not Canva Pro graphics.
This would include:

• invitation
• books for baby card
• diaper raffle card
• thank you card
• listing photos

If interested I would like a few Canva pieces you have created. I'll be looking for font, graphic placements, spacing, etc.
If we move on, I will give an assignment to create the above mention set (5 deliverables that need to match) for $10
If we work well then I would like to discuss becoming a regular designer for gig work or part-time work ($4-5/hour).
The full gig would be producing additional Canva pieces to fit the themes including water bottle wraps, cupcake toppers, food and table signs, guess the date calendar, etc. I have templates for everything that will just need to be updated. You will not have to create anything from scratch.

TWs: DV, Mental health, and a VERY long post
Hi friends, gay M(32) reflecting on a very toxic and emotionally heavy relationship that I've worked (and am working) hard to move on from. I wanted to process an old relationship in a public forum--not for advice, but for my own reflection and perspectives that aren't my own. I'm sorry, this is a HUGE post.
This is a long story that needs good background, and I don't perceive it as being polarized; I'm going to do my best to present how I messed up and how they messed up. I'm also going to be splitting it into sections for reading comfort, and numbering the referenced exes:

Important background information on me:

For the first 18 years of my life I lived with sexually abusive parents in a reclusive island and in a remote home in the woods that had no gay culture to speak of. My early friendships and relationships were generally online with adults who would ask for pictures of me, demand my time, have me write smut for them, etc. In fact, the only way I left this was by hopping into a relationship with a stranger online, with whom I'd actually entered a similar long-term relationship. Upon moving there, I found that he'd been talking online with another woman while we were in a monogamous relationship. This is not the relationship I'm writing about. We broke up 6 years later in 2014. However, Ex #1 will become important later. (Note, I'm only using #s for the exes because the timeline is convoluted, and not ranking or disrespect meant to them as people.)
So it should be pretty obvious at this point that I didn't get out of all that unscathed. In the years following I'd been diagnosed with PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder which had become so bad that I couldn't go to public places alone, I cannot drive, and am essentially motivated by fear and anger. As such, I've lost plenty of friends and burnt many bridges because while I could hold my mental health intact for months at a time, something would inevitably provoke me--and like emotional constipation, I'd eventually shit out my anger in some stupid way. This never manifested in physical anger, and rarely yelling. I've been told I can be pleasant and friendly and fun, but there's no doubt that I've done gone and fucked it up when I felt hurt.
Over the years I've attempted to enter into therapy with mixed and sometimes deeply uncomfortable results. Medication routines hadn't been well set, and because my attention was already so messy I wasn't consistent with keeping up with mental health issues. These were the shaky foundations on which I shouldn't have entered into another long-term relationship.

The Beginning: 2016

I did not move out with Ex #1, and in fact we moved into (and were living) in the same room together. At this point, I couldn't afford to live alone and so I roomed with him and my best friend at the time; but we didn't have sex and I actually managed to live my own life for the most part. My mental health wasn't great but I was doing my best with what I had; I'd gotten into graduate school for Clinical Psychology and was very excited about my future. Hell, I even found a new boyfriend who knew and was okay with the situation I was in with #1. Unfortunately, that new boyfriend ended up getting intimate with his ex, and we broke up in 2016 after only 6 months of dating. (I can't believe I just realized these three relationships are '666'.)
After ex #2 broke up with me, my confidence was pretty shattered. Ex #1 and my best friend who I was living with were growing really distant from me, and my mental health was turning me back into a resentful, paranoid, and fearful person who was bottling up all my lovely little emotions. That's when I met Ex #3, only a month after I'd broken up with #2.

Ex #3, who takes the center of this story, seemed so perfect when I met him. We were both extremely nerdy, and he took great notice of anything I did--when I pulled out a chair, his gratitude was radiant. He'd say nice things about how I looked, and while he was certainly the more passive of the two of us, it was all that little validation that I'd been craving. #3 hooked me. But I also told him I didn't want him to be a rebound; I didn't want to enter into a relationship with him at first, and only keep it in the dating phase; he was okay, but visibly a little disappointed about it. He knew about #1 and was just fine with it.
Just as we'd begun this new relationship, I started a new medication routine, which made me lose my sense of propriety. This came to a head when I gave #3 head in my workplace's office after-hours, where I'd gotten caught on security cameras. I was promptly fired; my fault, no question. Shaken, I decided to go home to visit family for the summer to try and collect myself for a bit. #3 was supportive and even cooked me cupcakes to send me off in a loving manner.

During that trip, one of my sisters (the only one I'm close to) and I got quite drunk, and she opened up to me: Our father had sexually abused her. I had no idea, because I thought I'd been the only one who was sexually abused, and I didn't think I was worth the effort of telling people. But when I learned this about my sister, we made the choice to tell our mother about what had occurred.

So, when I returned from family I was a complete wreck. The night I returned, I slept with Ex #1 for the first time in 2 years. Here's a bullet list of what happened next:
· The next day I broke down to my best friend during a brunch and told them what I'd done, sobbing--there was a very odd silence and I chose to leave
· I told #3 two days after I'd done it, and repeatedly apologized; he was upset and cried on the phone
· Became increasingly despondent during my classes and had to leave my clinical psych program, only a semester away from graduating
· Entered into an official relationship with #3 after some space with the #1 incident (yes, we still lived in the same room)
· We chose to move in together after only 4 months total of dating.
Come to find, #3 underestimated his finances by about $5,000 a month. I'm still not sure how that happened, but it left me scrambling to find work and us unable to stay in the property. I decided I had to move back home with family across the country. He said he wanted to come with me, and I was hesitant. Still, we eventually decided "f*ck it, we're in love" and went to move in with my family.

The "F*ck it, we're in love" Years: 2017 - 2018

We moved in initially with the sister mentioned above. I was very lethargic to this point, to the point of anhedonia. I wasn't cleaning their mom-in-law suite to the degree I should have been and spilled red wine on the carpet, which I'd put soda water on and tried to soak up, but to no avail. My sister was getting so upset, I asked her if we needed to leave and she said "yes", so we took up the offer to move into a very tiny apartment where my mother was.
My mom is not a sane person--the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She would make frequent micro-aggressive comments toward #3 (African-American) which #3 and I agreed were really off-color. She told me I needed to get back into therapy, and so decided to hire a personal trainer to get my body back into shape under the guise of mental health, when she was actually ashamed of how much weight I'd gained in the last half year.
#3 and I didn't find jobs, and my mental health was getting worse; to the point where #3 burst into the bathroom to jumpscare me as a joke, and I snapped at him in response. Additionally, when he came to hug me, I pushed him off in mid-episode. I was getting very distant, using video games and my computer to disassociate. Additionally, my mother was asking #3 to get things down the street repeatedly, to the point where #3 was saying he felt he was being treated "like a slave" by myself and my mother. I don't remember my actions coming to this kind of level, but I immediately did my best to take responsibility and respond to his needs in the way #3 needed.

After 9 months of struggling, #3 and I finally moved into our own studio apt, and we had our own jobs. But a lot of the damage was done. We weren't really having sex, which I was okay with; we didn't have much sex to begin with. I was craving validation, and so I repeated what I'd done after I found out #1 had been cheating: I asked #3 if he wanted to open the relationship. He initially said "no" and I was fine with it.
One week later, he tells me he's been sexting his coworker and flirting with him, and so asked if we could open it back up. I said yes, and we set some basic ground rules (STD testing, communicating about partners, etc), and he slept with his coworker the next day. When I asked how it was, he told me about this partner's attractiveness and that's when that awful sting of jealousy and envy began to grow in my gut. Topping it off, my isolationism had grown to the point where I didn't have a therapist, and he and I had gained a friend group who self-medicated with weed and alcohol.

It's important I take responsibility for how bad I'd gotten at this point:
In LeopardsAteMyFace territory, I had been writing erotica with Ex #1 (with #3's permission) while I was gaming and zoning out. I felt like it was fair, and additionally, I felt like I owed it to #3 because of all the drama, all the tumultuousness we'd been through. I was see-sawing between "this son of a bitch" and "what the fuck am I doing, I'm making him miserable". When I got extremely stressed, I would start physically beating myself and screaming; not at #3, but I would get rageful if I lost at a video game or got furious doing dishes.
#3 told me he was doing the majority of the chores at this point. I believed him. I didn't even remember how much I was or was not doing because my brain was so foggy between shitty health and drugs to drown it out. Attempts to quit would be quickly drowned out by a "fuck-it" mode that would happen because #3 and our friend group were such heavy users.
The open relationship was distinctly one-sided; we had an occasional 3-way, but the majority of the time #3 was meeting the majority of men. This really nailed down my jealousy and envy; not just that he wasn't giving attention to me, but that he was getting it so easily and effortlessly, and loving it. This is where my see-sawing got very bad. When I was sober, I would say that I couldn't keep the open relationship open, and we'd agree to close it--but #3 would get very emotionally put-out. So, the moment I wasn't sober I would essentially say that it was okay and that I needed to work harder on getting over my hurt.
#3 got his hookups through Grindr. It got to the point that hearing the Grindr sounds began to trigger me, and I began to spy on his phone. I would repeatedly tell him when I did, and asked him to set up passwords so that I couldn't access his information; but then I would see-saw back into wanting to look at the home notifications. It was getting bad.

And Then it Got Worse: 2019

I couldn't hold down a job. I was beginning to get my rage and self-harms somewhat more under control, but I was having panic attacks and sobbing whenever my partner would go and sleep with others. He'd told me that at one point, while we were high, that I'd said "you don't have to tell me who you sleep with". At one point, in the span of a month, he'd slept with 4 men in public areas and revealed that he hadn't told me about any of them or gotten STD testing. I was furious and hurt and got tested myself out of fear, but it didn't matter because (when I counted) we'd had sex somewhere around 3 times that entire year.

This came to a head when #3 told me that "S" had told him 'I love you' during one of their sessions. #3 and S had been sleeping together for nearly 2 years at this point in our relationship, and I was particularly sensitive about S because #3 had made very positive comments about his body and personality. I think S was an oasis away from our small apartment and my shitty mental health, which is understandable, but my see-sawing insecurity kept #3 on-edge and pushed him towards this hookup.
We broke up, while still living together. The night we broke up, #3 invited S over to have sex in our apartment. I went to the roof of our place (because at this point public places still terrified me) and stayed in the greenhouse up there. It was February and cold, and so he texted me that I could come down 2 hours later. S was still there on the couch, and #3 wanted to watch movies like nothing had happened. The air was tense, and S could definitely sense it.
Two weeks passed and I was paranoid. I couldn't stop hearing Grindr notifications, and I was absolutely in a wreck about whether #3 and S were actually going to become a couple. #3 was seeing people constantly, and telling me I needed to get out of the apartment more.

Things came to a head when #3 had a date with S in our apartment building's rec room. He asked me to hook up the video games for him and S, and I said "no". I was standing between him and the exit of the room, and #3 walked toward me and pushed me out of the way, making me hit the wall and drop to my knees. At this point I couldn't fight back--not just against him and S, but what I wasn't able to provide. I reached out to our friend group to help, but those I opened to either didn't respond or made subsequent hang-out plans with #3.
After another two weeks, #3 told me S had clarified that he hadn't actually said 'I love you' and that #3 had misheard him.
I tried to get out, and for 3 days I did. My mother picked me up, and on the ride to her home she realized that this might be longer-term. So she took a detour to drop me off at my other sister's house (not the one from earlier in the story). After three days there, #3 texted that he missed me and that I should come home. This was the validation my crappy brain was clawing at the bit for, and so I moved back in.

One of the first things #3 said when I moved back in was: "I got used to you being away". I didn't really know how to react. I was numb at this point.

Pandemic Years: 2020 - 2021

January of 2020 was particularly strange. I'd mentioned above that I reached out to mutual friends of mine and #3. Only two of them responded:
One of whom had been saying rather nasty things to #3 about me during their cocktail hangouts. I confronted her via text, and she threatened to track me down and beat me. There was no reaction from #3 so I defended myself by saying I would rise to her challenge; she did not respond and that friendship was over.
The other friend messaged me at the end of January on FB (2 months after I'd messaged) to ask if I "needed a place to stay" because she needed a catsitter for a few days while she and her boyfriend were out of town. I essentially messaged back to say I didn't appreciate her reaching out when it was convenient, and that friendship was also over.

#3 and I decided to get back together after a couple lukewarm-nice evenings of smoking up and drinking. I felt trapped. Then the Pandy hit, and we were quarantined together. #3 was growing increasingly frustrated that I was around the apartment all the time. 2020 was a very silent year; he still went and slept with people, I still cried myself to sleep and had panic attacks at phone notifications, and was just becoming more of a wreck to be trapped in a room with.
There's not much more to say about the year. We only had sex with one another 4 times that year (an improvement!), and we were generally so stoned that it's hard to even remember. I was a wreck and couldn't find any work, and #3 was hooking up in Grindr guys' cars.
In 2021 our fights were escalating. When I was going through an episode and I said I wanted to unalive myself, #3 quipped: "Well, why don't you?" while glaring at me. At this point I had a Google Doc labeled "Anti-Gaslighting" because I was doubting my own memory between himself, my lack of a friend group, and my strange family.
Finally, during one very bad fight, he snapped a pencil in half and jabbed himself in the cheek with it. I don't know why this was the straw that broke me, but it was. I left for the first sister's house after I called her to tell her the situation.

Leaving: 2021 - Present

I'm just ending my 2nd year of law school in a city across the country. I'm on a medication routine that's been working well for (specifically) my PTSD symptoms. I've been no-contact with my mother and from #3 for three years now. My mental health is far from perfect, and I'm still cloying for validation--but I have a friend group who hears me and understands me. I haven't self-harmed or had a rage-out in three years either.
It's not perfect now. I just left a landlord (who was also my roommate) situation last Nov where they ended up stealing money, grabbing my arm, and shoving me against a wall. I'm in a new apartment that's falling to pieces.
But I'm fighting like hell to move on. I'm fighting like hell to become a lawyer to be there for people the way I think they need. I'm not perfect, I never will be, but I'm so happy to at least have a sliver of independence and feel like I'm working my way to personal freedom.

Hey, thanks if you saw this and made it this far. Thanks for listening to my story. There's so many little details, so many nuances that bog down this iceberg, but I appreciate you taking a moment to look at what I put above the water.

TWs: DV, Mental health, and a VERY long post
Hi friends, gay M(32) reflecting on a very toxic and emotionally heavy relationship that I've worked (and am working) hard to move on from. I wanted to process an old relationship in a public forum--not for advice, but for my own reflection and perspectives that aren't my own. I'm sorry, this is a HUGE post.
This is a long story that needs good background, and I don't perceive it as being polarized; I'm going to do my best to present how I messed up and how they messed up. I'm also going to be splitting it into sections for reading comfort, and numbering the referenced exes:

Important background information on me:

For the first 18 years of my life I lived with sexually abusive parents in a reclusive island and in a remote home in the woods that had no gay culture to speak of. My early friendships and relationships were generally online with adults who would ask for pictures of me, demand my time, have me write smut for them, etc. In fact, the only way I left this was by hopping into a relationship with a stranger online, with whom I'd actually entered a similar long-term relationship. Upon moving there, I found that he'd been talking online with another woman while we were in a monogamous relationship. This is not the relationship I'm writing about. We broke up 6 years later in 2014. However, Ex #1 will become important later. (Note, I'm only using #s for the exes because the timeline is convoluted, and not ranking or disrespect meant to them as people.)
So it should be pretty obvious at this point that I didn't get out of all that unscathed. In the years following I'd been diagnosed with PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder which had become so bad that I couldn't go to public places alone, I cannot drive, and am essentially motivated by fear and anger. As such, I've lost plenty of friends and burnt many bridges because while I could hold my mental health intact for months at a time, something would inevitably provoke me--and like emotional constipation, I'd eventually shit out my anger in some stupid way. This never manifested in physical anger, and rarely yelling. I've been told I can be pleasant and friendly and fun, but there's no doubt that I've done gone and fucked it up when I felt hurt.
Over the years I've attempted to enter into therapy with mixed and sometimes deeply uncomfortable results. Medication routines hadn't been well set, and because my attention was already so messy I wasn't consistent with keeping up with mental health issues. These were the shaky foundations on which I shouldn't have entered into another long-term relationship.

The Beginning: 2016

I did not move out with Ex #1, and in fact we moved into (and were living) in the same room together. At this point, I couldn't afford to live alone and so I roomed with him and my best friend at the time; but we didn't have sex and I actually managed to live my own life for the most part. My mental health wasn't great but I was doing my best with what I had; I'd gotten into graduate school for Clinical Psychology and was very excited about my future. Hell, I even found a new boyfriend who knew and was okay with the situation I was in with #1. Unfortunately, that new boyfriend ended up getting intimate with his ex, and we broke up in 2016 after only 6 months of dating. (I can't believe I just realized these three relationships are '666'.)
After ex #2 broke up with me, my confidence was pretty shattered. Ex #1 and my best friend who I was living with were growing really distant from me, and my mental health was turning me back into a resentful, paranoid, and fearful person who was bottling up all my lovely little emotions. That's when I met Ex #3, only a month after I'd broken up with #2.

Ex #3, who takes the center of this story, seemed so perfect when I met him. We were both extremely nerdy, and he took great notice of anything I did--when I pulled out a chair, his gratitude was radiant. He'd say nice things about how I looked, and while he was certainly the more passive of the two of us, it was all that little validation that I'd been craving. #3 hooked me. But I also told him I didn't want him to be a rebound; I didn't want to enter into a relationship with him at first, and only keep it in the dating phase; he was okay, but visibly a little disappointed about it. He knew about #1 and was just fine with it.
Just as we'd begun this new relationship, I started a new medication routine, which made me lose my sense of propriety. This came to a head when I gave #3 head in my workplace's office after-hours, where I'd gotten caught on security cameras. I was promptly fired; my fault, no question. Shaken, I decided to go home to visit family for the summer to try and collect myself for a bit. #3 was supportive and even cooked me cupcakes to send me off in a loving manner.

During that trip, one of my sisters (the only one I'm close to) and I got quite drunk, and she opened up to me: Our father had sexually abused her. I had no idea, because I thought I'd been the only one who was sexually abused, and I didn't think I was worth the effort of telling people. But when I learned this about my sister, we made the choice to tell our mother about what had occurred.

So, when I returned from family I was a complete wreck. The night I returned, I slept with Ex #1 for the first time in 2 years. Here's a bullet list of what happened next:

• The next day I broke down to my best friend during a brunch and told them what I'd done, sobbing--there was a very odd silence and I chose to leave
• I told #3 two days after I'd done it, and repeatedly apologized; he was upset and cried on the phone
• Became increasingly despondent during my classes and had to leave my clinical psych program, only a semester away from graduating
• Entered into an official relationship with #3 after some space with the #1 incident (yes, we still lived in the same room)
• We chose to move in together after only 4 months total of dating.

Come to find, #3 underestimated his finances by about $5,000 a month. I'm still not sure how that happened, but it left me scrambling to find work and us unable to stay in the property. I decided I had to move back home with family across the country. He said he wanted to come with me, and I was hesitant. Still, we eventually decided "f*ck it, we're in love" and went to move in with my family.

The "F*ck it, we're in love" Years: 2017 - 2018

We moved in initially with the sister mentioned above. I was very lethargic to this point, to the point of anhedonia. I wasn't cleaning their mom-in-law suite to the degree I should have been and spilled red wine on the carpet, which I'd put soda water on and tried to soak up, but to no avail. My sister was getting so upset, I asked her if we needed to leave and she said "yes", so we took up the offer to move into a very tiny apartment where my mother was.
My mom is not a sane person--the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She would make frequent micro-aggressive comments toward #3 (African-American) which #3 and I agreed were really off-color. She told me I needed to get back into therapy, and so decided to hire a personal trainer to get my body back into shape under the guise of mental health, when she was actually ashamed of how much weight I'd gained in the last half year.

3 and I didn't find jobs, and my mental health was getting worse; to the point where #3 burst into the bathroom to jumpscare me as a joke, and I snapped at him in response. Additionally, when he came to hug me, I pushed him off in mid-episode. I was getting very distant, using video games and my computer to disassociate. Additionally, my mother was asking #3 to get things down the street repeatedly, to the point where #3 was saying he felt he was being treated "like a slave" by myself and my mother. I don't remember my actions coming to this kind of level, but I immediately did my best to take responsibility and respond to his needs in the way #3 needed.

After 9 months of struggling, #3 and I finally moved into our own studio apt, and we had our own jobs. But a lot of the damage was done. We weren't really having sex, which I was okay with; we didn't have much sex to begin with. I was craving validation, and so I repeated what I'd done after I found out #1 had been cheating: I asked #3 if he wanted to open the relationship. He initially said "no" and I was fine with it.
One week later, he tells me he's been sexting his coworker and flirting with him, and so asked if we could open it back up. I said yes, and we set some basic ground rules (STD testing, communicating about partners, etc), and he slept with his coworker the next day. When I asked how it was, he told me about this partner's attractiveness and that's when that awful sting of jealousy and envy began to grow in my gut. Topping it off, my isolationism had grown to the point where I didn't have a therapist, and he and I had gained a friend group who self-medicated with weed and alcohol.

It's important I take responsibility for how bad I'd gotten at this point:
Firstly, I had been writing erotica with Ex #1 (with #3's permission) while I was gaming and zoning out. I felt like it was fair, and additionally, I felt like I owed it to #3 because of all the drama, all the tumultuousness we'd been through. I was see-sawing between "this son of a bitch" and "what the fuck am I doing, I'm making him miserable". When I got extremely stressed, I would start physically beating myself and screaming; not at #3, but I would get rageful if I lost at a video game or got furious doing dishes.

3 told me he was doing the majority of the chores at this point. I believed him. I didn't even remember how much I was or was not doing because my brain was so foggy between shitty health and drugs to drown it out. Attempts to quit would be quickly drowned out by a "fuck-it" mode that would happen because #3 and our friend group were such heavy users.

The open relationship was distinctly one-sided; we had an occasional 3-way, but the majority of the time #3 was meeting the majority of men. This really nailed down my jealousy and envy; not just that he wasn't giving attention to me, but that he was getting it so easily and effortlessly, and loving it. This is where my see-sawing got very bad. When I was sober, I would say that I couldn't keep the open relationship open, and we'd agree to close it--but #3 would get very emotionally put-out. So, the moment I wasn't sober I would essentially say that it was okay and that I needed to work harder on getting over my hurt.

3 got his hookups through Grindr. It got to the point that hearing the Grindr sounds began to trigger me, and I began to spy on his phone. I would repeatedly tell him when I did, and asked him to set up passwords so that I couldn't access his information; but then I would see-saw back into wanting to look at the home notifications. It was getting bad.

And Then it Got Worse: 2019

I couldn't hold down a job. I was beginning to get my rage and self-harms somewhat more under control, but I was having panic attacks and sobbing whenever my partner would go and sleep with others. He'd told me that at one point, while we were high, that I'd said "you don't have to tell me who you sleep with". At one point, in the span of a month, he'd slept with 4 men in public areas and revealed that he hadn't told me about any of them or gotten STD testing. I was furious and hurt and got tested myself out of fear, but it didn't matter because (when I counted) we'd had sex somewhere around 3 times that entire year.

This came to a head when #3 told me that "S" had told him 'I love you' during one of their sessions. #3 and S had been sleeping together for nearly 2 years at this point in our relationship, and I was particularly sensitive about S because #3 had made very positive comments about his body and personality. I think S was an oasis away from our small apartment and my shitty mental health, which is understandable, but my see-sawing insecurity kept #3 on-edge and pushed him towards this hookup.
We broke up, while still living together. The night we broke up, #3 invited S over to have sex in our apartment. I went to the roof of our place (because at this point public places still terrified me) and stayed in the greenhouse up there. It was February and cold, and so he texted me that I could come down 2 hours later. S was still there on the couch, and #3 wanted to watch movies like nothing had happened. The air was tense, and S could definitely sense it.
Two weeks passed and I was paranoid. I couldn't stop hearing Grindr notifications, and I was absolutely in a wreck about whether #3 and S were actually going to become a couple. #3 was seeing people constantly, and telling me I needed to get out of the apartment more.

Things came to a head when #3 had a date with S in our apartment building's rec room. He asked me to hook up the video games for him and S, and I said "no". I was standing between him and the exit of the room, and #3 walked toward me and pushed me out of the way, making me hit the wall and drop to my knees. At this point I couldn't fight back--not just against him and S, but what I wasn't able to provide. I reached out to our friend group to help, but those I opened to either didn't respond or made subsequent hang-out plans with #3.
After another two weeks, #3 told me S had clarified that he hadn't actually said 'I love you' and that #3 had misheard him.
I tried to get out, and for 3 days I did. My mother picked me up, and on the ride to her home she realized that this might be longer-term. So she took a detour to drop me off at my other sister's house (not the one from earlier in the story). After three days there, #3 texted that he missed me and that I should come home. This was the validation my crappy brain was clawing at the bit for, and so I moved back in.

One of the first things #3 said when I moved back in was: "I got used to you being away". I didn't really know how to react. I was numb at this point.

Pandemic Years: 2020 - 2021

January of 2020 was particularly strange. I'd mentioned above that I reached out to mutual friends of mine and #3. Only two of them responded:
One of whom had been saying rather nasty things to #3 about me during their cocktail hangouts. I confronted her via text, and she threatened to track me down and beat me. There was no reaction from #3 so I defended myself by saying I would rise to her challenge; she did not respond and that friendship was over.
The other friend messaged me at the end of January on FB (2 months after I'd messaged) to ask if I "needed a place to stay" because she needed a catsitter for a few days while she and her boyfriend were out of town. I essentially messaged back to say I didn't appreciate her reaching out when it was convenient, and that friendship was also over.

3 and I decided to get back together after a couple lukewarm-nice evenings of smoking up and drinking. I felt trapped. Then the Pandy hit, and we were quarantined together. #3 was growing increasingly frustrated that I was around the apartment all the time. 2020 was a very silent year; he still went and slept with people, I still cried myself to sleep and had panic attacks at phone notifications, and was just becoming more of a wreck to be trapped in a room with.

There's not much more to say about the year. We only had sex with one another 4 times that year (an improvement!), and we were generally so stoned that it's hard to even remember. I was a wreck and couldn't find any work, and #3 was hooking up in Grindr guys' cars.
In 2021 our fights were escalating. When I was going through an episode and I said I wanted to unalive myself, #3 quipped: "Well, why don't you?" while glaring at me. At this point I had a Google Doc labeled "Anti-Gaslighting" because I was doubting my own memory between himself, my lack of a friend group, and my strange family.
Finally, during one very bad fight, he snapped a pencil in half and jabbed himself in the cheek with it. I don't know why this was the straw that broke me, but it was. I left for the first sister's house after I called her to tell her the situation.

Leaving: 2021 - Present

I'm just ending my 2nd year of law school in a city across the country. I'm on a medication routine that's been working well for (specifically) my PTSD symptoms. I've been no-contact with my mother and from #3 for three years now. My mental health is far from perfect, and I'm still cloying for validation--but I have a friend group who hears me and understands me. I haven't self-harmed or had a rage-out in three years either.
It's not perfect now. I just left a landlord (who was also my roommate) situation last Nov where they ended up stealing money, grabbing my arm, and shoving me against a wall. I'm in a new apartment that's falling to pieces.
But I'm fighting like hell to move on. I'm fighting like hell to become a lawyer to be there for people the way I think they need. I'm not perfect, I never will be, but I'm so happy to at least have a sliver of independence and feel like I'm working my way to personal freedom.

Hey, thanks if you made it this far. Thanks for listening to my story. There's so many little details, so many nuances that bog down this iceberg, but I appreciate you taking a moment to look at what I put above the water.

Hello All,
I will be posting many of the original recipes (some closer copycats) cake recipes that were made across America. After the pandemic, a lot of bakeries, shops and businesses were hit either physically, financially and cannot keep up the times because of other factors like inflation and other events that changed the world forever. We are talking about cakes here coming from bakeries, grocery bakeries or maybe even past bakeries that existed. You will also find secret ingredients that they used for convenience and adds flavor to their cakes.
If you have any suggestions or comments that you want to relive your nostalgic memories and tasting moments, give this post a shout-out, upvote and let me which cakes, baked goods, sweets that you remember from your childhood, wedding or any life events that touched you, your family and friends that you want to bring it back.
FRENA’S ’ HONEY CAKE: ( SAN FRANCISCO, CA)
3 MEDIUM LOAVES
2½ cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1½ teaspoons cinnamon
¼ teaspoon cloves
½ cup packed brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
½ cup honey
1 cup oil
1½ cups orange juice
Powdered sugar to garnish
Instructions: Adjust rack to the lower third of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place 3 medium (8½ by 4½-inch) loaf pans on a baking sheet and grease with pan spray.
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and cloves.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, combine the brown sugar and granulated sugar on medium speed and then add the eggs one at a time until the mixture is combined, about 2 minutes. Increase speed to medium-high and slowly add the honey and mix to combine. Pour in the oil in a slow, steady stream, followed by the orange juice, and mix to combine.
Reduce speed to low, slowly add the dry ingredients and mix until combined, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.
Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pans, filling each about halfway full. Place the baking sheet with the loaf pans in the oven and bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaves comes out clean, about 45 minutes, rotating halfway through.
Place the loaves on a wire rack and let cool for 20 minutes. Invert the cooled cakes from the pan and sprinkle with powdered sugar. Allow to cool completely and serve.
++++++
DICK'S BAKERY BURNT ALMOND CUPCAKES (SAN JOSE, CA):
Prepare Almonds:
In a large cast iron skillet toast 1 8oz package of sliced (not slivered) almonds. (I used http://www.bluediamond.com/index.cfm?navid=61)
Then sprinkle 1 Cup powdered sugar over almonds.
Stir constantly as not to burn the almonds.
Once the sugar is melted, add another 1/2 C. of powdered sugar to the almonds.
Your almonds should be brown in color and the aroma should be sweet toasted nuts.
Take off the heat and then spread on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper to cool.
Cupcakes:
You may use your favorite white cake recipe here and add almond extract to the batter or you could even add almond extract to a box white cake mix (I think this recipe is all about the almonds and icing so as long as it's good cake you should be good) If you don't have one feel free to use mine.
White cake recipe.
* 1 cup white sugar
* 1/2 cup butter
* 2 eggs
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 teaspoon almond extract
* 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
* 1/2 cup milk

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x9 inch pan or line a muffin pan with paper liners.
2. In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder, add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Finally stir in the milk until batter is smooth. Pour or spoon batter into the prepared pan.
3. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven. For cupcakes, bake 20 to 25 minutes. Cake is done when it springs back to the touch.

Yummy Frosting:
In a mixer blend the following in this order-remember powder sugar will go every where on high speed so put it in slowly until it is all incorporated and then whip that frosting like mad!
1/2 cup butter (softened)
3 cups of powdered sugar
1/4 cup of vanilla coffee creamer or if you can find an almond flavor coffee creamer use that. (Yes I did say coffee creamer it's my secret ingredient)
Continue to whip until you get your desired consistency, now if it's too thin add more powdered sugar. If it's too thick then add a bit more creamer. Don't be intimidated by this. It's a no-fail icing that gets rave reviews every time.
To Assemble:
Cool cupcakes:
You can spread or be fancy and use a zip lock bag to pipe a large swirl of icing on the top of the cake. Then take your almonds (which after being cooled you should break into little clusters) and mound a good table spoon on top of frosting. If these make it after one day from being devoured I would keep them in the fridge up to 2 days. Doubt that will happen cause these really are yummy! Thanks Dick's http://www.dicksbakery.net/
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SANDERS CONFECTIONERY HOT FUDGE SAUCE:
1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
1 2/3 c. light corn syrup
1/2 lb. butter
12 oz. pkg. milk chocolate chips or 12 oz. milk chocolate candy bars, broken
1 tsp. vanilla extract
Place all ingredients in top of double boiler over hot water. Stir constantly until mixture is smooth. Makes about 6 cups. Keeps in refrigerator for a month and frozen for up to 6 months. In my house, this generally gets eaten straight from the jar and never has a chance to be served on top of ice cream!
King Arthur Baking School has a great recipe for Sanders' Bumpy Cake:
https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/bumpy-cake-recipe
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New Seasons Market Banana Cake with Vanilla Marscapone Italian Buttercream:
Banana cake -
https://food52.com/recipes/87346-banana-cake-with-brown-sugar-swiss-buttercream-frosting
Vanilla Marscapone Italian Buttercream:
https://preppykitchen.com/how-to-make-italian-buttercream/
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CHASEN'S BANANA CAKE WITH CUSTARD SAUCE (1900S - 1950S IN LOS ANGELES,CA):
Below is Chasen's Banana Shortcake with Banana Sauce: ( A Los Angeles restaurant favorite)
Yield: 12 servings

Ingredients

Cakes

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• Banana Sauce
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 cups sifted cake flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 tablespoons heavy cream, chilled

Whipped Filling

• 2 cups heavy cream, chilled
• 1/4 cup superfine sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Banana Sauce

• 1/2 cup heavy cream, chilled
• 1 tablespoon superfine sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 pint best-quality French vanilla ice cream, softened
• 2 very ripe bananas, cut into very thin rounds
• 1 tablespoon dark rum, or to taste

To assemble the shortcakes

• 2 tablespoons dark rum
• 4 small, ripe bananas, sliced, plus 1 banana, sliced into thin rounds
• Hot fudge sauce of your choice

Instructions

Cakes

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Butter and flour 12 individual charlotte or cake pans.
2. With an electric mixer on high speed, cream butter with the sugar until pale and fluffy, about 5 minutes, frequently scraping down the sides of the bowl.
3. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each. Add vanilla. Continue beating on high speed for 6 minutes, frequently scraping down the sides of the bowl. Set aside.
4. Resift flour with salt and baking powder. With mixer at lowest speed, add flour mixture slowly to batter. When incorporated, add cream. Beat only until blended.
5. Place cake pans on a baking sheet and divide the batter equally among them. Bake on the center rack about 25 to 30 minutes, until a wooden pick inserted in the middle of each cake comes out clean and the cakes are just beginning to shrink from the sides.
6. Cool 5 minutes on a wire rack; invert each cake onto your hand, then place right side up on the rack to finish cooling.

Whipped Filling

1. Whip cream until stiff. Fold in sugar and vanilla extract.

Bnanana Sauce

1. Whip cream with sugar and vanilla extract until stiff. Fold ice cream into whipped cream.
2. Toss the banana with the rum and fold into whipped cream mixture.
3. Assemble the shortcakes: Slice each cake horizontally into two equal layers. Place cake tops upside down on dessert plates. Prick each with a fork and drizzle with rum. Spread filling generously on top. Lay bananas in a single layer to cover filling. Cover with more filling and top with the remaining cake layer. Spoon a dollop of filling on top of each. Chill.
4. When ready to serve, place remaining banana rounds decoratively on the tops of the cakes. Spoon on Banana Sauce and hot fudge sauce.