Cooking mama the original

Even better than Mama!

2014.08.04 21:23 Even better than Mama!

CookingMama is the premiere community for the Cooking Mama franchise, where you can start discussions, share artwork, show off achievements and more!
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2011.04.14 16:39 MissSophie DessertPorn: "The stomach is a dream factory."

Cakes, pies, ice cream, brownies, cookies, cupcakes, and even breakfast foods that are sweet (pastries, pancakes, waffles...). Eating them is great, but desserts are also delicious to look at. Post your pictures of them here! You can post art of desserts as well.
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2012.05.24 23:46 gildedlink FoodHacks

Food hacks is a place to share quick and simple tips on making food that has more flavor, more nutritional value, or both!
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2024.05.14 13:51 SharkEva [Final Update] - AITAH for passing out during a family gathering meant to introduce our new baby?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/user posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 5th May 2024
Update - 6th May 2024

1 New Update
Thanks to u/Small-Bodybuilder160 for finding the update
Final Update - 10th May 2024

AITAH for passing out during a family gathering meant to introduce our new baby?

So, recently I(27F) had a beautiful baby girl with my husband(29M). She's my pride and joy, I love her more than I love myself. But, taking care of her has taken its toll on me. My husband promised the work would be 50/50 when we agreed we wanted children, but I don't feel that's being reflected by his actions this past month.
It's gotten to the point where I can't even ask him to wash her up without him saying something along the lines of, "My paternity leave is short, I want to make the most of it by relaxing a bit. I'll help you out later." And I get it. His paternity leave is only 6 weeks while mine is 16 weeks, but my nether regions hurt like a bitch for a better part of two weeks after the birth and all he could do for me was occasionally burp her.
Now, my baby girl has gotten to a phase where she doesn't want to sleep. She'll sleep for an hour, but then she's up and back to crying and I have to get up and try to soothe her. It's been happening for a week now and I've gotten so little sleep that I'm nodding off while eating or doing tge laundry and stuff. Saturday was the month anniversary of my daughter's birth, so I decided to gather both sides of the family to meet her. (They hadn't met her prior because a)I wanted to rest as much as I could and b)I heard somewhere that you shouldn't be taking babies out and about when they're fresh out the womb cause they're more prone to illness then).
So, we had this gathering at my mother's house and all was well. Everyone was cooing over our baby, there was food, people were catching up or meeting for the 1st time. It was nice. But, I had gotten about 3 hours(generous estimate) of sleep in total the past week and I was starting to feel the effects of it. I was feeling lightheaded and clammy, but I didn't wanna make a scene so I tried to go to a bedroom to lie down. I didn't take 10 steps before my vision completely blacked out.
I wasn't down for long, but I had fallen over which drew some attention. I explained to everyone who was concerned that I was fine and that I was just not getting enough sleep and I could see my husband visibly frown at that. They gave me some of the dessert my aunt made to get my sugar up and the party continued. I felt embarrassed about the whole thing, especially since everyone was still looking over me til we left, but it's whatever
What bothered me is my husband's reaction. When we got home, he started going off on me about how I "made him look bad" and like "he wasn't taking care of me". I was confused on how tf me passing out made HIM look bad, but he refused to explain himself and had a pity party for himself in the kitchen.
I was still feeling bad, so I decided to leave him alone and just to go sleep, but he seems to have taken that as a sign that I don't care about his feelings. He's in my ear this morning about how I just ignored him to go sleep last night and how I didn't even put the baby to sleep before leaving. Is he right? AITAH here?

Update: So I've tried talking with him, but he's been ignoring me and the baby the last three hours. I'd usually wait longer, but I'm just too tired to deal with this right now. You guys were right, I do need help with this, and he's made it very clear he's not ready to help me yet, so I'm just going to go to my mom's place. I'm currently packing. I'm so done.

Comments

sophie_Mal
NTA and I can’t call your husband the names I want to because my comment will be deleted.
Paternity leave isn’t a time to relax, it’s a time you’re helping raise the baby and spending time together as a family. CLEARLY he is not doing either of these things as A. You’d be better rested and B. He’d have noticed you’re exhausted.
You passing out made him look bad because it was clear to everyone that you’re being left to raising your baby alone. It’s clearly not a partnership and the AH you’re married to is turning it onto you to shift responsibility and blame.
You need to seriously reconsider the relationships future and bring this up with him as it all comes down to him and his behaviour. If he gets his shit together, then things will be much better. But if he doesn’t, you and your daughter deserve so much better.

awaythrowers97
He doesn't know what "paternity leave" is and doesn't really want to take care of his family. Sadly, you can't seem to shake that loser.

ArticleOld598
This deadbeat of a father and husband is using his 6 weeks to laze around instead of using it taking care of his wife & child.
OP you said you love your baby more than yourself, would you want to let her grow up and think that it's normal for wives to push themselves while they're sleepless and in pain until they faint & husbands to berate them instead of worrying & taking care of them?
Tell your parents that your husband doesn't help you at all & blamed you for "making him look bad". You know what else makes him look bad? Being a deadbeat father and partner.

**Judgement - NTA*\*

Update - 1 day later

Hi all, your comments were really helpful, so thank you!
Yesterday, before I could Uber to my mom's house, my sister offered to help me, so I'm staying with her instead. She's taking PTA to help me out with my girl, which I'm very grateful for. She also gave me sleep medicine that knocked me out for hours (I'm not sure if that was a good idea or not, but I slept long and well so I don't care.)
I woke up a few hours ago to tons, and I mean TONS, of messages from my husband. Like, the little app icon had 99+ on it. Here are some of the things he said(copy pasted):


I would screenshot, but it says this community doesnt allow attachments, so i can't. And I know it's a bit weird to tell yall what he's been texting me, but I'm mad right now and this feels therapeutic lol. I already sent the screenshots to his mom though!
As for my baby, I have an appointment to a paediatrician for Wednesday, but for now she's on formula since my breast milk quality isn't the best for understandable reasons. My sister said she wasn't as fussy as I described, so I really think the problem is with my milk. That or my sister wanted to make me feel better for sleeping, who knows. I'll wait for the doctor's opinion.
I'm not feeling 100% but I feel a whole lot more better than before. Thank you to everyone who showed concern! I think this will be the last update since I wanna not think too much about my husband rn.

Comments

ZombieJoesBasement
I am sooo glad you left and got some help and rest. You definitely need and deserve it.
I still can't get over your husband's mental gymnastics here. He hasn't been a parent, hasn't helped you at all, and hasn't really spent any time caring for his daughter and only cares about what other people (besides you) think, but "misses his baby girl" and wants you to come back "so we can go back to being happy"?! Sounds like the only person who was happy was him--he got a 6 week vacation and didn't have to lift a finger. Let me guess-you were doing all the cooking and cleaning on top of caring for the baby? From what he is texting you, he thinks he did nothing wrong. He is being deliberately obtuse.
To add insult to injury he calls you a bitch and threatens you with the cops. Lovely. He is a real peach.
I really want to know what his mom has to say. Does she know he was mad at you for passing out?

Efficient-Cupcake247
Because it isn't about love. It is about control and image. Please keep strong. You have done a fabulous job doing what you need to for you and baby. Best wishes

blehguardian
To be clear, kidnapping is not involved. Until a custody agreement is submitted to the court, either married parent is legally permitted to take their child for any reason.

Aggravating-Pipe-903
Damn, this dude is crazy. Hopefully next update it’ll be ex-husband

**New Updates*\*

AITAH for passing out during a family gathering meant to introduce our new baby? LAST UPDATE - 4 days later

For all of you who wanted to know what his mother's reaction was, she yelled at him and he made that my problem. The things he's messaged me are vile. And even though MIL was mad at him and KNOWS what he's been saying to me, she still insisted that I go visit him face to face so we can work things out.
I don't really blame her. He's her son, of course she'd still want to help him, but still....With all the ways he's been threatening me and cussing me out, I really didnt want to see him, but I decided to go. Mostly because I needed the stuff that I left at our house.
I went with my sister for safety, obviously. We got there and he played with our baby, he offered to feed her (she wasn't hungry), just acting completely different from the man texting me about how much of a "heartless bitch" I am. I didn't really feel comfortable having him near me or the baby with how violent his texts were, but she's still his baby. I don't think the courts would favour him after I show his texts, but I thought I should rather be safe and allow him some form of contact before going to court. This was a mistake.
At the end of the visit, I decided I should go pack my stuff, since that was one of the only reason I agreed to come. But, I didn't feel comfortable not being there while he had my baby. Yeah, my sister was there and I trust her, but I'd rather watch her with my own eyes. So, my sister went upstairs to pack for me. As soon as she was gone, he started talking about "See? I'm good now I can take care of her." And other stuff but that wasn't the problem. Even if he became super dad, I wouldn't be able to see him the same. Not after all those messages he sent me.
I told him that and he got pissed at me. I was getting worried since my daughter was still in his arms, so I tried to deescalate his feelings. It didn't work and he started yelling at me for "being heartless" and "stubborn" and whatnot. I wasn't really focused on what he was saying, I was focused on my baby. I tried to reach out for her and he shoved me hard enough to fall back. My sister came down and tried to help, but he shoved her away too and ran to the guest room and locked himself and MY BABY in there. He refused to come out unless my sister left and i stayed behind. I can't tell y'all how scary it is to not know what's happening to your child.
It took officers almost 30 minutes to get him out, which pissed me off. Like I know they were probably trying to assess the danger or whatever but I just wanted my baby. In that 30 minute window he could've shaken her or threw her out the window or something and they were there asking him to come out like he was a child and not breaking down the door. She was fine, though, so I can't be too mad.
They didn't arrest him since "no harm was done" even though my sister and I have bruises to prove otherwise, but they held him outside while I packed my stuff. It actually bothers me that they didn't at least detain him, but there's not much I can do about it now. I don't think I'm going to go near him again. Not with my baby. I'm thinking of going to apply for that emergency custody thing yall were talking about.
This happened on Wednesday and I'm still shaken. It's really depressing, for a lack of better word, seeing how much he's changed. I really loved him and I felt he loved me too. How he's acting is crushing me. I feel deflated. My baby girl and my sister are really the only things keeping me going right now.
I'm sorry for the wall of text, it's just that texting this all out helps me feel better. But, I don't think I want to continue updating. Just know that we're splitting up. Thank you all for your support!!
Extra: after visiting the doctor, I've decided to just skip the hassle and formula feed. She seems happier with formula anyways.

Comments

JanetInSpain
OMG document everything. Take pictures of the bruises. Go see a doctor and tell the doctor you just need things documented to protect yourself and your baby. File a police report for assault and both you and your sister write detailed statements of everything that happened. Then apply for emergency custody.

georgiajl38
Go to the police station and file a report for assault. Screw those cops. They didn't have to take him but the assault report should have definitely been filed. Get in front of a magistrate asap!!!

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
submitted by SharkEva to BORUpdates [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 13:25 Nostalgia_town [BOATS] Tale of Piki

It was a mundane summer afternoon in 2002, the fan was in full swing but barely managing to dissuade the heat in a small TRT quarter of ACC Jhinkpani. We’d just wrapped the mat that four of us, we three sisters and mom would roll on in afternoons enjoying our dose of k serials and some of us falling asleep midway. There was our regular mama sparrow flying in and out through the window as she took care of her nest which housed her tiny babies. She built the nest with small twigs from our garden at a peculiar place, it was in a cavity that was formed due to a hole made in lower ceiling to put the fan. This was a regular affair at our house with small twigs strewn around the house and my mom sweeping them every day at twilight. That evening we heard a light crackling sound & a thump only to find a tiny little sparrow getting hit by the fan and falling in the middle of our living cum bedroom. The sight made our hearts melt as the baby sparrow lay there wounded & helpless twitching and twirling in pain, not able to find her mother around and in a far more lit area than the cavity where she spent the initial days of her life. I was too quick to pick it up to help her but not knowing what to do. She’d a bruise above her tiny feet which was bleeding. Then as a family we decided to provide first aid by applying turmeric paste, an antiseptic ingredient found in all Indian kitchens. And that’s how Piki made an entry in our family of six, mom, dad, grandma and we three sisters. And now we're seven. She quickly became the apple of our eyes. She recovered within a couple of days, and we were learning the tricks to feed her cooked rice by teaching her to open her cute mouth adequately. Her fav spot was to hop on my dad’s green lungi, a sarong sort of clothe item that men in South India would tie around their waist and let loose till the ankle. We’d teach her to fly by throwing her over to one another in a very small distance, enough for her to flutter her wings and making sure we catch her in time. She became our muse in a very short span. Everyone loved her to bits. We created a small nest for her to sleep in in a shoe box with grass properly placed to cushion her and a hole in the box for her to breathe. At night I’d place her in the box & cover her with the box lid to secure her. Her abode was placed just below my dad’s bicycle, a secluded & cozy area, not be to be disturbed by anyone in the morning. We also employed her to irritate my granny, we’d place her on her shoulder & she’d freak out. Her droppings were all over the house, on the bed, on dad’s lungi & of course our hands. But her cuteness more than compensated for this hassle, more so a little discomfort. However, our little companion could stay with us for a short stint of 25 days only, as one morning we didn’t find her in her nest, rather her feathers were strewn around it and we realized the dreadful end to her life, that night I forgot to place the lid over her nest & she became prey to a cat that would hog at our place in odd times. It’s been more than 20yrs since we found & lost Piki, but in the mundaneness of life she stills brings a smile and a little regret, what if I hadn’t forgotten to close the lid, what if the cat hadn’t turned up that day but also what if the baby sparrow didn’t get hurt & fall that day, what if the sparrow never laid her eggs in our ceiling cavity. There are ifs in both sides, so after all this while every time I feel sad for her loss but also glad that we could enjoy her.
submitted by Nostalgia_town to story [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 13:13 Medical-Structure637 Apothisexual/romantic alternative flags

Apothisexual/romantic alternative flags
idk just felt the itch to make some detailed ones for no reason at all. so basically the vertical/horizontal bars are there to show your firmness in not having to be fixed/changed. pointed bars are there to make sure everybody doesnt try anything funny w you by establishing your boundaries very clear. added a sickass dragon in there because something something asexual icon amirite. idk why i decided to make the background colors squared dont look at me i dont have the answers for that. 🙏🏼 uhhh other than that the color schemes have the same reasons and all ass the original apothisexual/romantic flags. the reason why its kinda "gothic-architecture-coded" is because apothi sounded like apostate to me and i was like wouldn't it be crazy if we did a crossover so like. yeah.
yeah thats abt it, might make more in the future idk. also i might actually touch up on this one ik its kinda dookie looking but to be fair i made it while struggling for my life in the toilet drawing with my fingers on my phone, i'll cook properly next time trust. 🙏🏼
submitted by Medical-Structure637 to Asexual [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:40 Specialist_Bake6514 Vapiano P3: Italian Food Made in Germany

Vapiano P3: Italian Food Made in Germany
The kitchen is on fire. Welcome to the final part of the Vapiano story where the tables are turning. In the first two episodes we followed Mark Korzilius' journey from setbacks to founding Vapiano, a groundbreaking restaurant concept, highlighting its fresh ingredients, dynamic atmosphere, and data-driven operations that drove rapid success. While achieving initial profitability and garnering attention from industry giants like McDonald's, Vapiano's global expansion has led to stellar revenue growth. However, it has also resulted in the emergence of numerous side projects (or distractions), operational challenges, increased costs, significant investments, and a notable accumulation of debt. This underscores the prioritization of top-line growth over profitable growth. We will continue on this thread and see how the story ends, but I would encourage you to read part one and two for better context. Vapiano P1: Italian Food Made in Germany (substack.com). Let's dig in.
Before Going Public
We are now in 2015 and the year is a disaster for Vapiano's PR department. Employee time stamps are being manipulated, endless overtime for employees and high turnover in managerial roles are reported; mice in the kitchen and even rotten food allegedly found.
The company is confronted with allegations of exceeding working hours among trainees in an article published by Welt am Sonntag, while the same outlet accuses Vapiano of manipulating punch times. The auditing firm PwC is commissioned to investigate the allegations and finds that there is no systematic approach but rather misconduct by individual employees, a mistake that’s being corrected. Internal however, investigations into stamp times are carried out regularly now and beyond its obvious reputational impact, this sucks up valuable management time and attention.
In the summer of 2015 CEO, co-founder and investor Gregor Gerlach, who has been running the group since 2011 is stepping down and Jochen Halfmann is taking over. A new Vapiano People Program with an App is being developed with the aim to better interact with customers that will incorporate innovate features such as mobile pay. The German website sees a launch of new magazine to further promote the brand and there is now a full inhouse blogger and Instagram team being installed. In October the company buys seven restaurants from original co-founder, former co-investor and ex-president previously responsible for internation expansion Kent Hahne (2x Bonn, 3x Cologne, 1x Koblenz and one in Cologne that’s under construction). This package of Vapiano restaurants is very successful and generates net sales of more than 20 million euros in 2014. Hahne opened his first Vapiano restaurant in Cologne in August 2006 and in 2015 with his company apeiron AG, Hahne operates six L'Osteria franchise restaurants, a direct Vapiano competitor, and two self-owned restaurants GinYuu.
Then in November of 2015, the next public relations bomb goes off with allegations regarding the company's quality standards. The company immediately investigates the issue through internal and external specialists but finds no evidence of any quality issues. Nevertheless, knowing that the group is now being closely watched, the company’s already in place hygiene standards are being reinforced. Additional audits and inspections are performed nationally. Further, all Vapianos worldwide are being audited twice by the partners SGS Institut Fresenius and SAI Global. Auditing software is purchased to simplify the implementation of the audits and the resulting measures. Apart from the external examinations, there is a food sampling plan in place being performed continuously. Again, all of this sucks up costs, management time and attention. With all these tumultuous developments the company’s growth engine is undeterred. Revenue grows by a whopping 50 million euros to 202 million euros, an increase of 33%. Impressive. While average spent per customer increases in all countries, the number of customers per day in Germany decreases by 3.3% partially due to the negative press towards the end of the year. Five own, four JV and 19 new franchise restaurants are added that year to the group, the total number of own managed restaurants grows to 51, there are 31 JVs and 84 franchises which bringing the total to 166 Vapiano restaurants. Global restaurant sales are now above 400 million euros.
But while revenue grows by an astronomical 50 million euros, operating profits, alarmingly, shrink again. Gross margins are staying perfectly healthy above 75% but operating costs keep growing disproportionately fast. The Company’s outstanding debt jumps by almost 30 million, close to 85 million euros by the end of the year. With operating profits at 9.5 million euros, alarm bells should be going off right now.
In Q4 of 2015, new CEO Jochen Halfmann introduces Strategy 2020. The new strategy includes five essential points. One, profitable growth in the newly defined core markets of Germany and Austria as well as in the UK, Netherlands, France and USA. Two, operational excellence through strict “best practice” management. Three, further development and digitalization of the concept considering guest feedback. Four, greater focus on long-term employee retention and five, building a modern and sustainable IT landscape. Sound’s good on paper but let’s see how things pan out.
Vapiano's investments (capital expenditures) that year are primarily directed towards new restaurant openings, renovations of existing establishments, and share acquisitions in other Vapiano restaurants from franchisees or JV partners. A significant portion of funds is allocated to the digitalization of the guest experience, including the development of a new app scheduled for market release in 2016 and the implementation of a time recording system across all group restaurants. The world's first standalone Vapiano restaurant with a delivery service that year is built in Fürth, Germany. The company keeps expanding its presence in both inner-city locations and international markets, such as Shanghai, China.
To finance all of this, the group has its own operating cash flow which comes in at 18 million while capital expenditures are 26 million euros plus 14 million for acquisitions. The funding gab is filled with 26 million euros of new debt and a seven-million-euro equity raise. At that end of the year and after the equity raise Gregor Gerlach (through his AP Leipzig GmbH & Co. KG entity) holds 30.1%, Hans-Joachim and Gisa Sander through their Exchange Bio GmbH hold 25.5% and the Tchibo heirs, Herz through their Mayfair Beteiligungsfonds II GmbH & Co. KG hold 44,4%.
But for the first time the restaurant’s concept that was so successful to date is being questioned. Some customers are starting to mislike the operational flow of the concept itself. If you want pasta, you must queue for pasta. If you want pizza you stand in a different queue. A small side salad, yet another queue. "You spend more time carrying trays than an actress in Berlin-Mitte. The audience in the pasta limbo can only consist of people who have worked for an insurance company for a long time and, like Stockholm syndrome, they can no longer get away from the industrial canteen feeling," writes TV host Beisenherz provocatively. While overly harsh in his assessment he's not entirely wrong judging by customers venting their frustrations in forums and social media channels. It isn’t uncommon for those who ordered pizza to have already finished eating while there is little movement in the pasta queue. Long term that doesn't go down well, QSRs competitors like L’Osteria are handling this process differently, with much success.
https://preview.redd.it/6cas01oked0d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=2da6e0b4bc0e07dbee558de412feb414cd598d4a

Tipping Point

Where are now in the year 2016 and things start to deteriorate visibility. Perhaps not for the leman’s eye but any business minded observer can see that there are problems under the hood. Yes, revenue grows yet another whopping 50 million to almost 250 million euros but half of that growth, comes from acquisitions of restaurants that the group didn’t already own 100%, which is now being fully consolidated within the group’s accounts. Here is a concrete example. In the past, Vapiano SE, the group’s top holding company held an indirect 50% stake in a French subgroup via the subsidiary VAP Restaurants SA, based in Luxembourg, and included this as an associated company in the Vapiano SE consolidated financial statements using the equity method. Due to the acquisition of additional shares in September of 2016, Vapiano SE's indirect share in the French subgroup increased to 75%. This means that Vapiano SE takes control of the French subgroup, which is therefore included in the group’s financial statements as part of the full consolidation. The revenue from the acquired subsidiary now recorded in the consolidated income statement amounts to 12.8 million euros. While that’s great for the top line, the loss of the fully consolidated entity equates to 0.2 million euros. Yes, you are buying revenue, but there are losses attached to them, not profits. A similar case is the Swedish entity that runs eight restaurants with revenue of 11.5 million euros but has losses of 235 thousand euros. So much for Strategy 2020 and “profitable” growth.
That year the group’s operating profits are absolutely tanking, halving to 3.5 million euros. Operating profits are now a mere 1,4% of revenue. Remember original founder Mark Korzilius who talked about operating margins of 25% to 28% at the restaurant level? Yes, there are overhead costs for the organization that sits above the chain of restaurants, but operating margins that low indicates a course correction is needed. What’s telling is that in the annual report, in the management discussion section, the company starts talking about EBITDA as a proxy measure of profitability, rather than operating profit or net income. This wasn’t the case in the years before. Is this window dressing for an upcoming IPO? EBITDA is short for earnings before interest, tax, depreciation, and amortization. How can you measure profitability of a restaurant chain that absolutely and unequivocally needs capital investment to maintain its restaurant operations, the very source of cash generation, by simply excluding this maintenance charge (depreciation in the income statement)? Vapiano’s own annual report talks about the fact that existing restaurants must be rejuvenated from time to time and that new interior designs have to be implemented every few years. These things wear and tear, they go out of style, kitchen equipment breaks and needs replacement. This business absolutely needs maintenance capital expenditure, why anyone talks of profits before these maintenance costs is beyond me. Fun fact: in the previous annual report EBITDA is mentioned seven times, mostly around restaurant acquisitions and financing, not however as a profit indication for the group. In the new annual report, EBITDA is mentioned 28 times. Maybe it’s just me but belated Charlie Munger liked to call EBITDA: bullsh*t earnings. When in doubt I stick with Charlie. Interestingly, EBITDA for Vapiano keeps growing while operating and net profits keep falling.
Operating cashflow for the group that year is about 21 million euros, but capital expenditure is 30 million and acquisitions for subsidiaries another 20 million. To finance these expenditures another 28 million euros of debt and 16 million of equity is raised. Net debt rises above 130 million euro. The operating cashflow of the group before any capital expenditures is 21 million euros. I am not sure free cash flow would be significantly positive after maintenance capex is paid out; it’s not broken out so we can’t be sure. Granted, I am not on the ground during this time, and I am not in the board room, I am simply reading what’s in front of me, but to me this is starting to look like a distressed situation. Regardless, the following year the company goes public.

IPO

Where are now in the year 2017 and its Vapiano’s first year as public company. The company’s annual report reads the following “Sales revenue, like-for-like growth (LfL) and the earnings figures EBITDA and adjusted EBITDA are used as the most important financial performance indicators for controlling operational business activities.” The very same report however also says: “The majority of the group's investments regularly go towards opening new restaurant locations and modernizing existing restaurants. The latter are differentiated into regular replacement investments that occur during ongoing operations (Maintenance CAPEX) and fundamental investments in the renovation of a restaurant (Remodeling CAPEX). On average, a restaurant remodeling takes place nine years after opening.” It says it right there in their own report; every nine years a remodeling is taking place. Remodeling and updating is not cost free, so why exclude depreciation charges which reflect capital expenditures? I understand that perhaps you would want to strip out one-off opening costs, that’s fine and fair, but don’t go overboard.
The number of restaurants increases by 26 (previous year: 13) to a total of 205. The increase consists of 27 new openings and one closure. Group revenue grows to an astonishing 325 million euros but here comes the shocker, operating profits turn negative to 25 million. Fine, strip out foreign exchange losses of 3 million, IPO costs of 5.8 million and new opening costs of 6.1 million and you still have 10 million euros of operational losses. All the while the debt load of almost 130 million hasn’t materially changed, so those operating losses are before a six-million-euro interest payment. 184 million euros are raised through the IPO of which 85 million go to the company. This money is earmarked for further expansion as the group has ambitions to almost double the footprint to 330 restaurants by the end of 2020. The company is currently not profitable on an operating basis, and still wants to expand aggressively? I don’t get it. The remaining 100 million euros of the IPO money raised is distributed to co-founder Gregor Gerlach and Wella heirs Hans-Joachim and Gisa Sander. The family office of the former Tchibo owners Günter and Daniela Herz with a 44% stake, don’t sell a single share. After the IPO, 32% of all the company’s shares are now in free float.
One year later, in 2018, things get even worse. Revenue grows to 371 million, but operating losses mount to 85 million euros, that’s before interest expenses of 9 million. Even the beloved EBITDA figure turns negative, meaning the operating business before any expansionary or even maintenance capital expenditures is loss making. All regions are experiencing significant deterioration in their earnings profiles. Like for like sales are down 1% across the board. That’s revenue, not profitability. The question naturally arises: is the Group approaching its natural saturation point here or this operational by nature? The operating cash flow is now 9 million while financing cost are close to 7 million. That leaves 2 million for maintenance capital for 74 own restaurants and 76 joint ventures ones. Describing this as financially tight, would be an understatement.
Things are not looking good at this point. Yet the company still grows restaurants by 26 new sites. 64 million euros are spent on acquisitions, new openings, and maintenance costs, financed through a 20 million-euro equity raise and 72 million of new debt. The Company now has net debt outstanding of over 160 million euros. After the equity raise and by the end of the year 2018, Mayfair owns 47.4%, VAP Leipzig, Gregor Gerlach’s entity owns 18.9% and the Sander couple own 15.5% of the company. Yes, the Sanders and Gerlach may have taken 100 million euros off the table, but they still have substantial skin in the game. Plus, Mayfair hasn’t sold a single share and instead injects more money into the company through the equity round. The stock has now fallen from its IPO price of 23 euros per share to under 6 euros by the end of 2018. Something must be done here. And indeed, there is pivot in strategy and a hard push for change. At last, the management team abandons its aggressive growth plan and curtails new openings significantly. Additionally, the team wants to run a thorough analysis of weak locations to then either discontinue or sell sites. In Europe, the operating focus will be put on corporate restaurants and joint ventures in major cities to ensure the ideal size and location to match the respective demographic target group. Outside of Europe, the franchising business is being expanded and at the same time a consolidation of the existing corporate and joint venture markets is being sought. All future investments will be reviewed to achieve higher rates of returns on new openings. Investments are also being made in the renovation of older restaurants. The goal in the future is to also open smaller formats, like Mini-Vapianos (less than 400 square meters) or Freestander at prominent transportation hubs outside city centers (currently in Fürth and Toulouse) to cater to individual location requirements, and to enter new partnerships. I am not sure why management hasn’t stopped all expansion altogether, bringing the ship in order first, getting profitable, clean up, all hands-on deck before considering any further expansions whatsoever. But again, it’s easy to comment from the sidelines; maybe they saw white spaces that would be covered by competing concepts if they weren’t moving fast and aggressively enough. Although pushing internationally means competing with local players such as Jamie's Italian, Prezzo, Pizza Express, Wagamama, Nando's and many more which brings in its own dynamic.
Management also aims to enhance guest satisfaction. This involves refining operational processes, reorganizing the support center, and refocusing on the core offering: providing fresh and high-quality Italian food at affordable prices for a broad audience. The group also aims to reduce waiting times, especially during lunch, while also improving the evening atmosphere. There is even what I would call an evolution, away from Vapiano’s original concept, reorientating the customer journey. The ordering flow is being changed, offering guests synchronized preparations of all dishes while eliminating wait times at the cooking stations. The open show kitchen remains, staying true to original mantra of freshness and transparency but now guests can choose their preferred method of ordering through a mobile app, using a digital order point (kiosk), or by personally placing an order with a waiter. Guests can still freely choose their table and are then informed about the complete preparation of their order through a pager or their smartphone. This is a substantial deviation from the original concept, but a needed one. The group is also exploring and implementing the expansion of take-away and home delivery services but only at suitable locations, not universally across new openings. I am not sure why home delivery is even a priority here; it adds operational complexity. It’s better to clean up shop first and get back to the basics before adding new complexities. To be fair management does try to simplify. There are 49 different permanent dishes on the menu and additional 10 seasonal ones. Customers can choose from eleven different types of pasta. There is simply too much choice, and it makes orders complicated. The company announced to slim the menu down to its most popular and typical Vapiano dishes. There’s no need for an Asian salad at an Italian restaurant. "We have to go back to the roots, i.e. classic, honest Italian cuisine" says COO Everke. Regardless, in November of 2018, the supervisory board pulls the plug on CEO Jochen Halfmann and replaces him with Cornelius Everke. Everke himself has just become COO five months ago. Since 2017 he was responsible for international expansion. From 2011 to 2017 that role was filled by Mario Bauer – put a pin in that name, he’ll play a key role in the groups fate later. Then nine months later, in the middle of 2019, Cornelius Everke quits. He essentially concludes that his skillset and experience in the areas of internation expansion is no longer needed in the foreseeable future. To put it differently: Vapiano has moved from a growth story and has become a restructuring case, and other skills are required for that job. In June of 2019 Everke says the following “(we’ve) made a bit of a mistake when it came to foreign expansion”. No sh#t. Vapiano postpones the presentation of the 2018 annual financial statements three times in the spring of 2019, citing negotiations over an urgently needed loan of 30 million euros. It’s not until the end of May that a binding loan commitment comes through from the financing banks and major shareholders.
We are now in August of 2019 and the corona pandemic is just around the corner. Supervisory board chief Vanessa Hall takes over as interim-CEO and things are unravelling. Visitor numbers are declining; originally, it was planned to sell the US business but halfway through the year the buyer cannot come up with the money. But not all restaurants are performing poorly. The group's poor figures contrast starkly as an example with the experiences of the Swiss-German franchisee, who runs six restaurants. The Sodano family in Switzerland pays Vapiano a royalty of 6% of sales for the use of the brand. Enrico Sodano explains in an interview that they operate largely autonomously from the licensor. If an “accident” were to occur, he could immediately replace the Vapiano sign with Sodano, he says. The family concluded the rents and contracts with employees and suppliers independently. The Sodano family have six locations in Bern, Basel and Zurich, around one million guests every year and 350 employees. Things are going well on the ground. The delivery service they’ve built is offering them a second income stream. Expansion into Winterthur, St. Gallen and Lucerne are being planned; small locations with 150 to 250 square meters and an attached delivery service. Originally, Vapiano restaurants used to be huge but for such a large restaurant to be profitable, 800 to 1,000 guests per day are needed. That’s possible in medium-sized cities, but not in smaller towns which is why the Vapiano group now also supports smaller formats. Back to our corporate drama. The 2019 annual report would be the last report the group files. By the end 2019 the outstanding debt of the company is at an astronomical 450 million euros. Revenue has grown by another 7%, produced by four net new openings through two JVs and two franchise restaurants but operating losses come in at 317 million euros. That sound like an absolute shocker at first but depreciation and amortization charges are 345 million, so that operating cash flow is actually positive but unfortunately capital expenditures and interest payments are so large that they are eating up all of the company’s operating cash flow. Then in the beginning of 2020 Corona hits with full force and the world shuts down. As a result of the measures to prevent further spreading of the virus, the group is forced to cease all global business operations (except in Sweden). While all these shutdowns are happening, the group is the middle of negotiating with its lending banks and main shareholders. There are additional financing needs for restructuring measures, even without a pandemic happening in the background. The situation is so dire that the company starts pleading to the German government to roll out the package of financial help more quickly. Unfortunately, it’s to no end. The rapid closure of restaurants and the resulting lack of operating cash inflows in conjunction with the additional financing requirements, lead to the company’s final knockout punch. In April of 2020, the Vapiano group officially files for insolvency proceedings. The end of an era.

New Beginnings

Because of the pandemic, the majority of the group's subsidiaries in Austria, the Netherlands, Denmark, the United States, Sweden, and China also file for insolvency or seek liquidation. The US business never gets sold in the end and is wound down. In the summer of 2020, significant group divestments occur, including the sale of 75% shares in the group's French subsidiaries, shares in franchisor companies, Australian subsidiaries, German subsidiaries, associated companies, self-managed restaurants in Germany, and insolvency-related sales in the Netherlands, Great Britain, and Sweden. The buyer of the Vapiano brand and one of these bundles of Vapiano restaurants is company named Love & Food Restaurant Holding, a consortium led by Mario C. Bauer – a name I told you to remember. Bauer was a former Vapiano board member and led the national and international expansion, opening 200 sites in 33 countries from 2011 to 2017 until he was succeeded by Cornelius Everke. Bauer didn’t feel comfortable with the IPO at the time but clearly has a lot of managerial and entrepreneurial talent.
The buyer consortium is an absolute A-Team comprised of European QSR top league hitters, including the founder of the Pret A Manger chain Sinclair Beecham; Henry McGovern, the founder and Ex-CEO of the giant international restaurant and foodservice operator AmRest; the Van der Valk Family that runs hotels and Vapiano restaurants in the Netherlands, and co-founder and ex-CEO Gregor Gerlach. The acquisition value is 15 million euros and entails 30 Vapiano restaurants in Germany, albeit that’s just the purchase price which comes on top of any capital investment needed to refresh and return the sites to its former glory. Nevertheless, just as a thought experiment, if you can get each site to 2 million euros of revenue and 400,000 euros in operating profit on average, which wouldn’t be an overly aggressively assumption given the company’s history, you’ve got yourself a package that can deliver restaurant-level operating profits of 12 million euros or more. It’s not disclosed how much capex was needed to refresh the operations, just that fact that the overall investment plus purchase price was a middle double-digit million-euro figure. Stil, it probably was a decent purchase. The same consortium buys Vapiano’s French business for 25 million euros just two weeks prior. After the transaction concludes, the master franchise is given to Delf Neumann and his Gastro & Soul GmbH. Neumann is an experienced operator, and he is ambitious to revitalise the brand with new services and products. For example, instead of pizza, the restaurants will be serving pinsa - a flatbread made from sourdough, wheat and rice flour, topped similarly to a pizza. It targets a more health-oriented customer base looking for a less calory heavy option. The menu overall is expanded by including a variety of vegan and vegetarian dishes.
https://preview.redd.it/kpt7ea6red0d1.png?width=1242&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9930ced85ee364e9df414547cae06b47a03fc19
Today Neumann’s Gastro & Soul GmbH operates 18 Vapianos on its own account and has 29 franchise sites, amongst other brands. By the year 2021, Vapiano operates 191 restaurants in 34 countries. This is around 50 fewer sites than before the bankruptcy. The number of branches is particularly thinned out in Germany – from 80 to 55. Nevertheless, Vapiano's home country remains by far the largest market, followed by France with 35 restaurants and Austria with 15 locations. “We have shrunk ourselves to health,” says Bauer in the aftermath and there is no further shrinking planned. Quite the opposite, the smell of expansion is in the air again – pun intended. Not as aggressively as before and with a new menu and ordering process.
Overall, the team around Bauer is filled with industry experts with knowledge and networks gained over decades who have a great track record, a long-term view, and the staying power to let Vapiano breath and finds its way back to success. The pressure of being a public company with all the associated quarterly, half-year and yearly disincentives have been removed. The menu is changed and extended with new types of pasta and sauces with significantly more vegetarian and vegan dishes available. Guests can order with restaurant staff, at terminals or on their phones and there are barcodes attached to the tables identify the respective seat. The food is brought to your table, all at the same time if you are in a group, no more annoyances with waiting in line. There is a plan for smaller, 350 square meter locations, with half the number of guests and significantly fewer staff and less set-up costs required to make the economics work. Locations that capitalize on remote work and increased demand for local lunch options, higher population density with shorter delivery routes and therefore cost-effective in house delivery services are targeted. And Bauer is testing the concept of ghost kitchens, which operate without a dining room or service staff, focusing solely on preparing food for delivery services, which for obvious reasons have a very different operational set up and footprint. Original founder Mark Korzilius however is not entirely convinced. He is not a fan of the pinsa for instance and he considers Vapiano's pizza as its cash cow, flagship product and believes that the core Vapiano proposition of Pizza, Pasta, Bar that has given the company its original success is being diluted. He instead admires the competitor L'Osteria, saying they’ve done a better job by focusing on Italian classics, especially the impressively large pizzas that sticks out beyond the plate is leaving every customer in awe. The guys who run L’Osteria are the same guys who have built Vapiano with him in the first place. Bauer on the other hand, like a true business leader, remains undeterred, stating that he is frequently asked whether Vapiano's restart was bold or foolish. He believes in entrepreneurship, franchising, in his experienced fellow partners and importantly the Vapiano concept. By the year 2024 you can find over 140 Vapiano branded restaurant in 27 countries across the globe, including locations far away from its birthplace like Australia, USA, Columbia, Chile, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia. And why not? Italian food is, and will remain to be, incredibly popular. Vapiano offers fresh and tasty food at affordable prices in a good atmosphere. This combination of attributes should attract a lot of customers. It certainly has in the past.
For more stories: WIP Thomas Weitzendoerfer Substack
submitted by Specialist_Bake6514 to unpackbusinesses [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:20 chanma50 'Back To Black' Review Thread

I will continue to update this post as reviews come in.
Rotten Tomatoes: Rotten
Critics Consensus: Back to Black's sympathetic approach to its subject's story is an overdue antidote to the tabloid treatment she often received in life, even if the end results are disappointingly pedestrian.
Score Number of Reviews Average Rating
All Critics 36% 69 4.50/10
Top Critics 38% 24 4.50/10
Metacritic: 49 (18 Reviews)
Sample Reviews:
The film’s snaky on-and-off power begins with the British actor Marisa Abela, whose lead performance nails Amy Winehouse in every look, mood, utterance, and musical expression. - Owen Gleiberman, Variety
Back to Black is, like its heroine, flawed and fallible but frequently very affecting. - Leslie Felperin, Hollywood Reporter
Tells the story of Amy Winehouse but shows no passion in telling it and has nothing to say about the events that transpire. It’s the utter minimum of what a biopic can be. - William Bibbiani, TheWrap
There are other, tougher, bleaker ways to put Winehouse’s life on screen – but Abela conveys her tenderness, and perhaps most poignantly of all her youth, so tellingly at odds with that tough image and eerily mature voice. 4/5 - Peter Bradshaw, Guardian
There are moments when Abela disappears and Winehouse bursts on to the screen, like a magic eye picture blinked fleetingly into focus. But the film is wildly uneven and prone to catastrophic misjudgments. 2/5 - Wendy Ide, Observer (UK)
Because of the cautious gloss, the film is perhaps less enlightening or truly tragic than it might have been. 3/5 - Tim Robey, Daily Telegraph (UK)
The final scene, in particular, with its completely and utterly baseless, sensationalist implications, made me physically gasp in horror. 1/5 - Hamish Macbain, London Evening Standard
The ending, of course, is sad... Yet, for all its faults, the film is more celebratory than tragic. 3/5 - Ed Potton, Times (UK)
Back to Black is a fitfully enjoyable little package that will do wonders for the careers of Abela and O’Connell. But unlike Winehouse’s oeuvre, it’s not worth taking seriously. It’s just too afraid of the dark. 2/5 - Charlotte O'Sullivan, Independent (UK)
The film seems too tame, too tasteful, too frightened of alienating the fans: everything that Winehouse was not. 2/5 - Tom Shone, Times (UK)
[Amy Winehouse's] music remains in a different creative galaxy to this dispiriting film, which is at once twee and ghoulish. 2/5 - Danny Leigh, Financial Times
Sure, you will learn more – and hear more of the original recordings – in Asif Kapadia’s great documentary Amy, but Taylor-Johnson does a decent job of making a tight drama from the same tragic yarn. 3/5 - Donald Clarke, Irish Times
This is a middle-of-the road biopic about a musician who was anything but. It’s not great and it’s not terrible. 3/5 - Stephen Romei, The Australian
It has such reverence for Winehouse that it lacks the honesty the 2015 Oscar-winning documentary Amy was able to present. 2.5/5 - Wenlei Ma, The Nightly (AU)
A solid performance let down by a script that cherry-picks the facts and ultimately tells us less than we already know. Watch Asif Kapadia’s Amy instead. 2/5 - Hayley Campbell, Empire Magazine
Offers a pallid account of Winehouse’s story, ironing out some thornier issues, and bringing little that’s new, either in fresh revelations or distinctive angles on the familiar. - Jonathan Romney, Screen International
This is better than I expected (although my expectations were low). It does seem softened at the edges, and one can never forgive a falling-in-love montage set at London Zoo -- ever -- but I (mostly) didn’t cringe and it is respectful, if painful. - Deborah Ross, The Spectator
In her attempt to put the woman back at the centre of her own life, Taylor-Johnson has at least captured an addictive personality and achieved a powerful portrait of doomed love. - Kate Mossman, New Statesman
It is as salacious and cruel as any tabloid cutting from the noughties – only invested in the bloody ballet pump left in the street, not the complexities of living a very public life with addiction. 1/5 - Rogan Graham, Little White Lies
Everyone involved in the film approaches the late artist with love and respect, but its tawdry instincts and misguided sense of responsibility let her memory down. C- - Vikram Murthi, indieWire
Bizarrely, the one thematic thread that Back to Black does seek to tie its tale together with is the singer’s desire to have a child. 1.5/4 - Ross McIndoe, Slant Magazine
Like Winehouse herself, the film teeters on the edge, hovering restlessly between genre-subversive brilliance that complicates celebratory narratives about artistic genius, and well-worn, re-hashed tropes about tragic women. - Rebecca Harrison, Sight & Sound
A strong cast, in particular a stirring performance from Marisa Abela, is not enough to effectively convey the chaos and the tragedy central to the story of such a beloved artist. 2/5 - Linda Marric, HeyUGuys
Its punchlines lack punch, [but] what it does have is a frankly dynamite central turn from Marisa Abela. - Mark Kermode, Kermode and Mayo's Take (YouTube)
SYNOPSIS:
The extraordinary story of Amy Winehouse’s early rise to fame from her early days in Camden through the making of her groundbreaking album, Back to Black that catapulted Winehouse to global fame. Told through Amy’s eyes and inspired by her deeply personal lyrics, the film explores and embraces the many layers of the iconic artist and the tumultuous love story at the center of one of the most legendary albums of all time.
CAST:
DIRECTED BY: Sam Taylor-Johnson
SCREENPLAY BY: Matt Greenhalgh
PRODUCED BY: Alison Owen, Debra Hayward, Nicky Kentish-Barnes
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Sam Taylor-Johnson, Anna Marsh, Ron Halpern, Joe Naftalin
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY: Polly Morgan
EDITED BY: Martin Walsh
PRODUCTION DESIGNER: Sarah Greenwood
COSTUME DESIGNER: PC Williams
MUSIC BY: Nick Cave, Warren Ellis
MUSIC PRODUCTION BY: Giles Martin
MUSIC SUPERVISOR: Iain Cooke
CASTING BY: Nina Gold
RUNTIME: 122 Minutes
RELEASE DATE: May 17, 2024
submitted by chanma50 to boxoffice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:17 newmusicrls Progressive House Top 100 May 2024

https://minimalfreaks.co/2024/05/progressive-house-top-100-may-2024/
  1. Estiva – Fine Day (Extended Mix) 07:00 124bpm 2B
  2. Gorge – Intensity (Original Mix) 06:56 125bpm 5B
  3. Kaskade, deadmau5 – I Remember (John Summit Remix) (Extended Mix) 05:29 126bpm 10A
  4. Paul Thomas – Emotional Landscapes (Ezequiel Arias Extended Mix) 06:48 124bpm 2B
  5. Quivver – Dovetail (Original Mix) 06:56 125bpm 9B
  6. Marc Lenz – People Are People (Original Mix) 07:05 123bpm 1B
  7. Selderv – Igray (Steve Bug Remix) 06:25 125bpm 5A
  8. Oak and Hammer – Nacht (Dowden Extended Remix) 07:28 123bpm 11B
  9. RIKO & GUGGA – Voyage Voyage (Extended Mix) 06:08 125bpm 1A
  10. Spencer Brown – San te Crüs (Original Mix) 06:16 125bpm 4A
  11. Bondarev – Meteora (Cosmonaut Remix) 07:30 122bpm 2B
  12. Eric Prydz, Empire Of The Sun – We Are Mirage (Original Mix) 06:19 128bpm 9A
  13. CamelPhat, Cristoph, Max Milner – Hope (Cristoph Remix) (Original Mix) 06:52 122bpm 4B
  14. Eran Hersh, Kasango – Ascension (Original Mix) 05:32 122bpm 4B
  15. Spencer Brown – Barcelona Surprise (Original Mix) 05:15 125bpm 2B
  16. Aerofeel5, Vakabular – Under Your Skin (Extended Mix) 06:13 124bpm 3A
  17. Yotto, Something Good – Rhythm (Of The Night) (Extended Mix) 06:35 122bpm 4A
  18. Tonaco – Disurbia (Original Mix) 08:19 121bpm 7B
  19. Nicolas Rada – The Wind Phone (Original Mix) 08:24 123bpm 9B
  20. Ruben Karapetyan, Maze 28 – Cosmic Dot (Original Mix) 07:26 123bpm 12B
  21. Fedo, Alexander Popov, Going Deeper – Lost In Space (Going Deeper Extended Remix) 05:10 123bpm 10A
  22. Darin Epsilon – Janissaries (Extended Mix) 06:09 125bpm 7A
  23. Kamilo Sanclemente – Theia (Original Mix) 07:05 122bpm 5A
  24. Acrobat, Vakabular – Space Between (Extended Mix) 05:59 123bpm 9B
  25. Braxton, Steven Weston – Splendor (Original Mix) 05:44 124bpm 8A
  26. Quivver, Dave Seaman – Mushroom Embargo (Original Mix) 07:03 123bpm 10B
  27. Subandrio – St. Kilda (Original Mix) 08:47 122bpm 8B
  28. Tonaco – Avalon (Original Mix) 07:52 122bpm 3B
  29. Dmitry Molosh – Modul (Original Mix) 06:25 122bpm 8B
  30. ISMAIL.M, Redspace – Avenue (Original Mix) 07:12 122bpm 7B
  31. Forty Cats – Nocturne (Kyotto Remix) 09:37 122bpm 9B
  32. Felix E – Paradox Twin (Gai Barone Remix) 07:36 122bpm 9B
  33. Darren Tate, Sxcha – Flashing Lights feat. Sxcha (Extended Mix) 07:31 126bpm 5A
  34. Ruben Karapetyan, Maze 28 – Cosmic Dot (Cid Inc. Remix) 06:56 123bpm 12B
  35. Marc Lenz – Black Rock (Original Mix) 06:44 123bpm 10B
  36. Talemates – Quala (Original Mix) 07:30 121bpm 2A
  37. Enzo Paradiso, JUAN BUITRAGO – First Time (Fran Garay Remix) 07:32 121bpm 11B
  38. Ian O’Donovan – Frontier (Original Mix) 09:25 124bpm 11A
  39. Matter, Eric Lune – Starlight (Original Mix) 06:56 121bpm 11B
  40. Durante – Reaching (Extended Mix) 06:27 120bpm 10B
  41. Gai Barone, Micah Paul Lukasewich – Pleiades (Original Mix) 08:32 123bpm 5A
  42. Mayro – Gede (Original Mix) 06:40 123bpm 9B
  43. Kebin Van Reeken – Liminal (Original Mix) 08:16 121bpm 9A
  44. Chaum, Hobin Rude – Cressida (Tonaco Remix) 07:17 122bpm 7A
  45. Volaris – Close To You (3am In Tulum Extended Mix) 07:14 126bpm 5A
  46. Andrewboy, SHAZZE – Longlife (Extended Mix) 06:25 124bpm 12B
  47. Alex Breitling – Wasted Youth (Original Mix) 06:25 126bpm 5B
  48. Kamilo Sanclemente, Mauro Aguirre – Essence (Original Mix) 08:25 122bpm 9B
  49. OceanLab, Above & Beyond – Sirens Of The Sea (Marsh Extended Mix) 08:24 126bpm 7A
  50. Jou Nielsen – Spectral Twist (Dimi Mechero Remix) 06:25 126bpm 11B
  51. Kasper Koman – Sinking Sky (Original Mix) 08:08 122bpm 12B
  52. Taylan – Nebula (Original Mix) 07:36 122bpm 2B
  53. Bruno Andrada – Hexagon Sun (Extended Mix) 09:04 122bpm 10B
  54. Durante – Ancora (Extended Mix) 06:10 126bpm 7B
  55. Spencer Brown – Fellas (Original Mix) 04:40 123bpm 6A
  56. Pryda – Allein (Original Mix) 05:36 126bpm 6B
  57. Tonaco – Crackdown (Original Mix) 07:48 121bpm 4B
  58. Jesabel – Control (Extended Mix) 06:45 126bpm 11B
  59. Jerome Isma-Ae, Sandeep Pai – Nightfall (Original Mix) 06:08 125bpm 5A
  60. Guy J – Metal Dreams (Original Mix) 07:48 124bpm 3B
  61. Maxim Lany, Cartouche, Matt Fax – Why Do I feat. Cartouche (Extended Mix) 06:58 125bpm 8A
  62. Roman (AR) – Easy to Love (Extended Mix) 08:00 123bpm 10A
  63. Lonya – Forever Young (Original Mix) 06:34 124bpm 7A
  64. Kebin Van Reeken – Sound Particles (Original Mix) 08:43 121bpm 11B
  65. TEELCO, Maze 28 – Sense (Original Mix) 08:12 122bpm 9A
  66. Joris Voorn, Nathan Nicholson – You & I (Original Mix) 06:25 126bpm 7A
  67. Gai Barone, Micah Paul Lukasewich – Pleiades (Echomen Remix) 07:54 123bpm 5A
  68. Maze 28 – Aer8 (Original Mix) 07:24 122bpm 10B
  69. Mike Isai – Exit (Original Mix) 07:01 120bpm 6A
  70. Volaris – Close To You (Extended Mix) 05:51 127bpm 6A
  71. Simon Doty – Lady Danger (Extended Mix) 07:37 128bpm 3A
  72. Subandrio – Nights in Twilo (Original Mix) 07:36 122bpm 11A
  73. Enzo Paradiso, JUAN BUITRAGO – First Time (Original Mix) 07:59 121bpm 11B
  74. Eelke Kleijn – Regenerator (Extended Mix) 06:50 128bpm 5A
  75. STEREO MUNK, Dublew, Eichenbaum – Flores (Original Mix) 07:32 122bpm 7A
  76. Luciano Scheffer – J’s Odyssey (Weird Sounding Dude Remix) 07:30 121bpm 12B
  77. Agustin Pietrocola, Andrés Moris – New Beginning (Original Mix) 07:28 122bpm 10B
  78. Jiminy Hop – Nawaro (Original Mix) 08:43 122bpm 4B
  79. Forty Cats – Nocturne (Original Mix) 07:39 122bpm 9B
  80. Cristoph – Come With Me (Extended Mix) 06:49 123bpm 2A
  81. Guy J – Illusions (Original Mix) 08:25 122bpm 8A
  82. CamelPhat, Jem Cooke, Cristoph – Breathe (Original Mix) 07:13 125bpm 8A
  83. Andrewboy, SHAZZE – Longlife (Ryven Remix) 06:15 124bpm 12B
  84. Jou Nielsen – Spectral Twist (Extended Mix) 05:36 126bpm 11B
  85. Dmitry Molosh – Sail (Original Mix) 06:57 122bpm 8A
  86. Beckers, D-Nox – Astral (Original Mix) 07:17 94bpm 10A
  87. Luke Chable, Danny Bonnici – Colours (Alex O’Rion Remix) 07:24 120bpm 10A
  88. Juan Deminicis, EANP – The Other Side (Original Mix) 08:03 123bpm 9B
  89. Marsh, Nox Vahn – Come Together (Scorz Extended Mix) 06:24 124bpm 12A
  90. Eddy Tango – Unjust World (Alex Swank Remix) 06:57 122bpm 5A
  91. Joseph Disco, Daniel Jaeger – Heavybottle (Original Mix) 07:27 125bpm 7B
  92. Simos Tagias – Vortex (Original Mix) 07:33 122bpm 10B
  93. Durante – Portal Six (Extended Mix) 06:02 124bpm 3A
  94. Serious Dancers – In The Beginning (Hernan Cattaneo & Simply City Remix) 08:57 122bpm 10A
  95. Agustin Pietrocola – Endeavor (Original Mix) 07:55 122bpm 3B
  96. Eddy Tango – Unjust World (Original Mix) 07:09 122bpm 5A
  97. Matter, Eric Lune – Memory Burn (Original Mix) 07:14 121bpm 9A
  98. Whoriskey – Torn (NOIYSE PROJECT Extended Remix) 08:13 123bpm 9B
  99. UnbrokenOne – Miragem (Peak Mix) 07:31 121bpm 1A
  100. ANUQRAM, Ash Nova – On My Knees (Extended Mix) 07:32 125bpm 9B
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2024.05.14 12:14 newmusicrls Amapiano Top 100 May 2024

https://minimalfreaks.co/2024/05/amapiano-top-100-may-2024/
  1. Zerb, Sofiya Nzau – Mwaki (Major League Djz Remix) 05:31 116bpm 6A
  2. TitoM, S.N.E, EeQue, Yuppe – Tshwala Bam (feat. S.N.E, EeQue) (Original Mix) 06:30 112bpm 9A
  3. Jaydon Lewis – GTAmapiano (Extended) 03:07 113bpm 6A
  4. Vigro Deep – Soundcheck (Original Mix) 06:45 112bpm 2A
  5. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, MaWhoo – Moya Wasendulo (Original Mix) 06:33 113bpm 5A
  6. DJ Maphorisa, Tyler ICU, Tumelo.za, Nandipha808, Ceeka RSA, Tyron Dee – Mnike (Original Mix) 06:31 113bpm 4A
  7. Mellow & Sleazy, DJ Hunrose – Anna Benette (Remix) (Original Mix) 06:54 112bpm 11A
  8. Damian Lazarus, Jem Cooke – Into The Sun (Major League Djz Remix) 08:35 113bpm 11B
  9. LeeMcKrazy, Shakes & Les – Funk 99 (Original Mix) 06:17 85bpm 12A
  10. Kelvin Momo, Smash SA, Bandros, Mr. Maker – Uhambe Wrongo (feat. Mr. Maker) (Original Mix) 06:08 112bpm 8A
  11. Tyler ICU, Kamo Mphela, Khalil Harrison, Baby S.O.N – Dalie feat. Baby S.O.N (Original Mix) 04:40 113bpm 5A
  12. Jorja Smith, GuiltyBeatz, Major League DJz – All of This (Major League Djz Remix) 05:34 115bpm 9A
  13. Khalil Harrison, Tumelo.za, Ceeka RSA, Silas Africa, Tyrone Dee – Umshiso (Original Mix) 06:01 113bpm 11A
  14. Rampa, chuala – Les Gout (DBN Gogo & Felo Le Tee Remix) 05:44 113bpm 7B
  15. Mellow & Sleazy, Djy Ma’Ten, Djy Biza – Stance music (Original Mix) 06:17 112bpm 2B
  16. Shazmicsoul, Charisse C, Small Keys – Angisafuni feat. Small Keys (Original Mix) 05:59 118bpm 9A
  17. Bokani Dyer, Sereetsi and the Natives – Ke Nako (feat. Sereetsi and the Natives) [Ntokzin Remix] (Original Mix) 07:39 114bpm 6A
  18. DJ Target, SLADE, DJ Lag, Sandza De Keys, 2woBunnies, PS DJz – Umthwalo Wam (feat. Sandza De Keys, Slade, DJ Target) (Original Mix) 06:35 114bpm 3B
  19. Junior Taurus, Vigro Deep – Kick Drum (Original Mix) 06:46 111bpm 7A
  20. Visca, Tman Xpress, Tyler ICU, LeeMcKrazy, Al xapo, Ceeka RSA, Sjavasdadeejayj – Ebasini (Original Mix) 06:47 113bpm 10A
  21. DJ Lag, K.C Driller, Mr Nation Thingz – Hade Boss feat. K.C Driller (Original Mix) 06:22 113bpm 10A
  22. DBN Gogo, Chley, Zee Nxumalo, Ceeka RSA, Shakes & Les – Funk 55 feat. Ceeka RSA feat. Chley (Original Mix) 06:13 113bpm 7A
  23. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Young Stunna, Mthunzi, Sizwe Alakine, Umthakathi Kush – Imithandazo (Original Mix) 05:51 113bpm 11A
  24. Samthing Soweto, Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Mas Musiq, Aymos, Myztro – eMcimbini (Live) 06:47 113bpm 4A
  25. MR TAFFA – LOMBADA (Original Mix) 05:18 113bpm 4B
  26. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Ami Faku – Asibe Happy (Original Mix) 07:38 113bpm 9B
  27. Deep Saints, Mfana Kah Gogo, Dj Karri, Spux – Saba Julukisa (Original Mix) 06:06 112bpm 8A
  28. Felo Le Tee, Da Muziqal Chef, Myztro, Kabelo Sings, Thabza Tee, LastBorn Diroba – E’kseni (Original Mix) 05:46 114bpm 5A
  29. Gunna, Sarz, Asake – Happiness (feat. Asake & Gunna) (Original Mix) 02:54 105bpm 3A
  30. AfroMezzo – Get Lucky (Original Mix) 06:29 114bpm 11A
  31. CICI, Murumba Pitch, JL SA, Lady Amar – Hamba Juba (Original Mix) 08:00 112bpm 2A
  32. PYY Log Drum King, Charisse C – Wrecking Bassline feat. Charisse C (Original Mix) 05:02 111bpm 6B
  33. Truce – Spirit Whistler (Original Mix) 06:05 113bpm 8B
  34. M.J, DaliWonga, Mellow & Sleazy – Abo Mvelo (Original Mix) 08:00 112bpm 3A
  35. Mellow & Sleazy, QuayR Musiq – Bafunani feat. Lee McKrazy (Original Mix) 06:34 112bpm 1B
  36. QuayR Musiq, Mali B-flat – Son of Man (Original Mix) 06:58 82bpm 10A
  37. DJ Maphorisa, JaySax, Tyler ICU, LeeMcKrazy, Al xapo, Ceeka RSA, Tyrone Dee, Tiiger – Government (Original Mix) 06:23 112bpm 12B
  38. Stixx, ReaDaSoul – 50250 (feat. Maremo Violin & Zwayetoven) (Original Mix) 07:02 113bpm 5A
  39. Focalistic, Thama Tee – Pressure (feat. Thama Tee) (Original Mix) 03:57 112bpm 10A
  40. Senjay, Inter B & Draad – Prime Sgafro (Original Mix) 07:13 113bpm 7A
  41. Triple X Da Ghost, Ray&Jay, L.N.P SOUNDS – Midnight (feat. Triple X Da Ghost) (Original Mix) 06:43 113bpm 2A
  42. Rivalz, Deestar Za, Lesego M, Longkay – Indian Sarangi (feat. Deestar ZA) (Original Mix) 05:48 113bpm 10B
  43. Major League DJz, Tsebebe Moroke – Anatomy (Original Mix) 07:34 112bpm 4B
  44. Platform – Wololo (Original Mix) 03:53 112bpm 9A
  45. Xduppy, Ceehle, Char4Prezzy – Tequila (Original Mix) 05:10 113bpm 3A
  46. Kmat – MKK (feat. CowBoii, djygubzin.live & Ranger) (Original Mix) 06:05 112bpm 4A
  47. Stanley Enow, T-Man SA, Macg – Take Ova (Remix) 06:12 112bpm 9A
  48. M.J, Focalistic, Pabi Cooper, Djy Biza, Yumbs, Ch’cco, Shakes & Les – Funk 100 (feat. Pabi Cooper, M.J, Djy Biza, Yumbs) (Original Mix) 05:14 113bpm 10A
  49. Tyler ICU, DBN Gogo, Mpho Spizzy, Nation-365, uLazi, Tee Taurus, El-Kay MusiQ – THATHA BAMBA (Original Mix) 06:31 112bpm 6A
  50. Pcee, Yumbs, Justin99, Uncle Vinny – Piki Piki (feat. Pcee) (Original Mix) 04:40 112bpm 3A
  51. TitoM, S.N.E, EeQue, Yuppe – Tshwala Bam (feat. S.N.E, EeQue) (Radio Edit) 04:23 112bpm 9A
  52. Dj Stokie, Murumba Pitch, Zee_nhle – Mali (Original Mix) 06:42 112bpm 6A
  53. Creamdokotela – THE MASK (Original Mix) 04:42 112bpm 5B
  54. Ikonika – Where U Gonna Be? (Extended Mix) 04:10 125bpm 6A
  55. QUE DJ, ZVRI – Yini Ukusha (Original Mix) 05:01 155bpm 12B
  56. Shazmicsoul, Atmos Blaq, DBN Gogo, DR Thulz, Mashudu, Yumbs, Leandra.Vert – UTHANDO (Original Mix) 05:31 147bpm 2A
  57. Lacks – The Volt (Original Mix) 09:00 112bpm 7B
  58. Madame B, Daano, Luxury Piano – XO’ (Original Mix) 07:27 112bpm 6A
  59. Stixx, Kelvin Momo, Azana, Babalwa M – Maye Maye (feat. Azana, Stixx) (Original Mix) 07:30 113bpm 10A
  60. Tribal Soul, DeSoul, Spelete, Soa Mattrix, De Rose, Future Saxo, Soa Family – Hamba (Original Mix) 07:26 113bpm 6A
  61. Tyler ICU, LeeMcKrazy, Khalil Harrison, Ceeka RSA – Jealousy (Original Mix) 06:30 113bpm 12B
  62. Stixx, DJ Stopper, Khanyisa, DBN Gogo, Kmat – Jikeleza (Original Mix) 06:13 113bpm 6B
  63. Focalistic, Sims Noreng, DJ Tshegu – Tiya Mfana (Mzokwana) [feat. Sims Noreng] (Original Mix) 04:25 113bpm 10B
  64. Kabza De Small, Dearson, KG Smallz, Oscar Mbo – Yes God (feat. Dearson) (Kabza De Small Remix) 06:56 113bpm 2A
  65. DaliWonga, Myztro, Xduppy, ShaunMusiQ & Ftears – Kunkra (Original Mix) 05:17 112bpm 12B
  66. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Tyler ICU, Nicole Elocin – Bella Ciao (Original Mix) 05:42 112bpm 9A
  67. Visca, DJ Maphorisa, DaliWonga, Madumane, Tyler ICU, Mpura – Izolo (Original Mix) 07:25 112bpm 5B
  68. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, DaliWonga, Sir Trill, Tyler ICU – Banyana (Original Mix) 06:51 112bpm 3A
  69. Felo Le Tee, Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Mark Khoza, Mpura – Duduzane (Original Mix) 07:27 112bpm 8A
  70. Major League DJz, D3AN, Smeez – Damn feat. Major League DJz (Original Mix) 05:54 114bpm 5A
  71. Kelvin Momo, Sfarzo Rtee, Babalwa M – Sukakude feat. Sfarzo Rtee (Original Mix) 06:53 112bpm 4A
  72. Konke, Musa Keys, Nkulee501, Skroef 28, Chley, Leandra.Vert, Toby Franco – Blue Tick (Original Mix) 07:13 113bpm 4A
  73. Sino Msolo, Uncle Waffles, BoiBizza, Tony Duardo – Tanzania (feat. Sino Msolo and Boibizza) (Original Mix) 06:16 113bpm 2A
  74. Kamo Mphela – Nkulunkulu (Original Mix) 06:21 112bpm 2A
  75. Soa Mattrix, Mashudu – Mina Nawe feat. Happy Jazzman and Emotionz DJ (Original Mix) 05:51 112bpm 4A
  76. Boohle, Deep London – Hamba Wena (Original Mix) 06:14 113bpm 1B
  77. Kwesta, Lady Du, Kabza De Small, Young Stunna, bob mabena – Mshini (Original Mix) 07:16 112bpm 4B
  78. Tribal Brothers – Tribal Drums (Original Mix) 04:54 125bpm 9B
  79. Tribal Brothers – Formation (Original Mix) 05:41 125bpm 10B
  80. DJ Maphorisa, Soa Mattrix – Dropline (Original Mix) 06:51 113bpm 12B
  81. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Young Stunna – Adiwele (Original Mix) 07:51 112bpm 6B
  82. Young Stunna, Mas Musiq, Aymos – Sengizwile (Original Mix) 07:00 112bpm 2A
  83. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Mas Musiq, Aymos – Uzozisola (Original Mix) 07:00 112bpm 11A
  84. Kabza De Small, DJ Maphorisa, Ami Faku – Abalele (Original Mix) 06:56 113bpm 6A
  85. Unlimited Soul, DBN Gogo – Break Through (Original Mix) 06:52 113bpm 3A
  86. Fase_Off, DJ February – More Fire (Amapiano) 06:46 114bpm 5A
  87. Lukado – Master Of Disguise (Amapiano Mix) 05:42 113bpm 8A
  88. Tyla, Kooldrink – Getting Late (Original Mix) 04:14 115bpm 6A
  89. Soul Revolver, Mellow & Sleazy, Mr JazziQ – PWTE feat. Soul Revolver feat. Mellow & Sleazy (Original Mix) 05:42 113bpm 8B
  90. Jarreau Vandal, DJ Kwamzy – Obsessive (DJ Kwamzy ‘Amapiano’ Remix) 04:37 84bpm 12A
  91. Ntokzin, De Mthuda, MalumNator – uMsholozi (Original Mix) 06:41 113bpm 8A
  92. Ntokzin, De Mthuda – Maplankeng (Original Mix) 06:18 113bpm 8A
  93. Mfr Souls, Bontle Smith, Major League DJz, Kamo Mphela – Amanikiniki (Original Mix) 05:48 113bpm 3A
  94. Kelvin Momo – Get Up (Original Mix) 09:03 114bpm 4A
  95. Griffit Vigo – Ree’s vibe (Original Mix) 05:55 125bpm 12B
  96. Yaba Buluku Boyz – Zululwana (Original Mix) 05:03 112bpm 6B
  97. Kamane Kamas, PRETTYNEWROD – DZUKE (Kamané Kamas Remix) 04:36 111bpm 1A
  98. El Chico, Teraphonique, Senjay, Mcdeez Fboy, DNZL444, Themba Jc – Magasman (feat. Teraphonique, Senjay, Themba Jc) (Original Mix) 07:33 112bpm 8A
  99. QuayR Musiq, Kabelo Sings, Xduppy – Boys Are Delicious (Original Mix) 06:34 113bpm 9A
  100. QuayR Musiq, LeeMcKrazy, Mali B-flat – Kuhlangene (Original Mix) 08:00 112bpm 7A
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2024.05.14 10:53 Suspicious-Brain5807 UPDATE: Aita for telling a girl to 'go back to the kitchen'

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1crnpjz/aita_for_telling_a_girl_to_go_back_to_the_kitchen/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
So, the general consensus was NTA. My boyfriend has become aware of this, and was upset about his sister's comment on 'girl of the relationship' and went straight to his parents. His parents were also annoyed at her for saying that especially after coming to my and my bf's place to eat my cooking.
However, good news. I didn't say this in the og post because I thought Jake might get wind of it too early, however now that he has accepted... I'm not engaged! I'm kinda wondering if I should cook something for the wedding, just to be petty...
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2024.05.14 10:24 astrobabag Love Vashikaran Mantra Expert in India

Love Vashikaran Mantra Expert in India
Vashikaran is the Sanskrit word for attraction or allurement. In the context of mantras, vashikaran is the process of using mantras, which are sacred utterances, to control or influence a person you want to have in your life. Love vashikaran especially deals with the mantras that are supposed to attract a romantic partner or revive the feelings in a relationship that has lost its charm.
Love Vashikaran Mantra
The love vashikaran mantra are the ancient Hindu astrological texts' origin. They use the name of God to create a divine aura that will make their love interest fall under their spell. Love vashikaran mantras are a variety of chanting of a few words to intricate rituals of offerings to the deities. The mantras are used in all kinds, and they promote the feelings of love and longing between two people.
The Prem Vashikaran Mantra
The Prem Vashikaran Mantra, or the Love Attraction Mantra, is one of the most renowned love vashikaran mantras. The mantra invokes Kamdev, the Hindu god of love and desire, requesting him to captivate the mind and heart of the desired person:The mantra invokes Kamdev, the Hindu god of love and desire, requesting him to captivate the mind and heart of the desired person:
Om Namo Bhagwate Kamdevaye, Yasya Yasya Drashti Bhoyami Bye Bye Mama Murtyha I want to share all the Tatro Tatro Kamdev Tatva Yitnohi The informant used various words, such as Shriya Hava Barati, Sarva Karyeshu Sanchayee, to illustrate the fact that the statue of DPW Devilina is now available to people who want to visit and explore it. Sarva Jaya Dweti Swaha!"
This mantra is known to be the most popular and is followed for 40 days with the help of other rituals like meditating on the face of the desired person, offering of jasmine and rose flowers to Kamdev's image, and wearing of enchanted rings and pendants. This unswerving practice is considered to make a person fall passionately in love.
The Baglamukhi Love Vashikaran Mantra is the one that I am going to use now.
There is also a very strong love vashikaran mantra about Maa Baglamukhi or Goddess Baglamukhi, the eighth of the famous Hindu Ten Mahavidyas. Maa Baglamukhi is the divine feminine energy and the one who can bestow supernatural powers on her followers to make their enemies miserable. In the context of love vashikaran, she can overcome the resistance of the reluctant partners and gain control over them.
The Baglamukhi Mantra invokes her thus:
"Om Hleem Baglamukhi Sarva Dushtanam Vacham Mukham Padam Stambhay Jihva Kilay Buddhim Vinaashay Hleem Om Swaha!" is similar to the holy mantra of Baglamukhi.
This mantra is so powerful that it causes people to be unable to speak, act, or think the opposite to love. Through the process of chanting this mantra a person is able to transform the mind of even the most uninterested lover, it is believed. The mantra is usually followed by the rituals like Baglamukhi Puja which will create a strong bond with the Goddess.
Love vashikaran mantras are the holy solution to relationship problems for the believers of Hindu astrology who conceive themselves to be in love with the divine. Though it is believed that if the mystic energies which are beyond the human reach are used, powerful mantras can unite the relationships and solve the problems of the deep-seated matters with passion and affection.
Nevertheless, the correct rituals, pronunciations, dedicated practice, and purity of intention and purpose are the major contributing factors to their effectiveness. Through faith and the strong belief, the vashikaran mantras are capable of solving the most difficult relationship issues and unite the true lovers from any distance.
Online Free Consultation With Baba Ji Please Visit:
https://www.astrobabag.com/

love #vashikaran #mantra #relationshipgoals #spiritualguidance #astrology #magic #loveissues #poweroflove #soulmate #positiveenergy #attraction #partnerconnection #lovespell #magicmantra #healinglove #manifestation #spiritualjourney #enchantedlove #twinflamebond

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2024.05.14 09:43 Thenn_Applicant Dorian Merryweather, Lord of Longtable + AC

Reddit Account: u/Thenn_Applicant
Discord Tag: Garin
Name and House: Dorian Merryweather
Age: 49
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: Dorian's chestnut brown hair has been greying for quite a while, however is short beard retains more color, including a few stray red hairs peppered throughout it. While his features have softened and gained some pudge as he aged past his prime, he remains in overall good shape. This is partly due to his great love of gardening and crop cultivation, which have left his hands and nails rather rough.
Trait: Numerate
Skills: Avaricious (e), Architect, Administrator, Investor
Talents: Language (High Valyrian) Cooking, Gardening
Negative Trait: N/A
Starting Title: Lord of Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biography:
It has been said; men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing, sooner than war. As such, it begs the question, what does a man have left when he finally tires of war? In pursuit of an answer, of any answer, one half of Dorian Merryweather’s life was spent. He was the second son of Lord Arthor Merryweather of Longtable. Like many others born in a place of natural abundance, he longed for more, for something greater than a mere provincial estate. The tourneys of Highgarden, the hunts of Horn Hill and the books of Oldtown all called to him, and so he could never ride past his father’s mild and verdant fields fast enough. Dorian counted himself lucky not to be the heir, for that meant he could pick where his future lay, unchained from the uninspiring home of his childhood. Instead it was his older brother, Bennard, who envied his free-flying lifestyle, contriving any excuse to join him on his escapades and agurk lessons and ceremonies he ought to have attended.
Lord Arthor was fairly permissive of this deriliction of duties, as the friendships forced on such journeys were worth more than lessons that could be repeated later, or tasks that could be handed off to lowborn stewards. The boys attended tourneys, balls, hunts and feasts, living the life the bards extolled as the height of reachman’s chivalry. The one time they did not shirk their duties was when their father had the honor of hosting King Mern and his court for a tourney on the Warrior’s day. The Merryweather sons would present the king and his family with silver bowls of dilligrout, a most exquisite stew of capons, white wine and almond milk. They had the joy of tasting it once the Gardeners had their fill, a taste they would never forget. On the tournament field three days later, Mern knighted them both, though Dorian was only sixteen at the time, green as a knight could ever be.
Five years later, as news of Aegon Targaryen and his early conquests spread, the lords of the Reach were summoned to Goldengrove, where they found a veritable forest of Westermen’s banners being planted beside their own. The fall of the Storm Kings had led to a whirlwind of diplomacy between the houses of Gardener and Lannister. The plan was presented to the lords with the two kings sitting beside one another on the dais as though they were brothers. They held up Aegon’s letter of demands, scornfully reading it aloud and then proceeded to tear it up to a roaring acclamation from the hall. Standing there before the hall, Mern could hardly be called the Warrior incarnate. There stood a man well past his prime, old enough to be a grandfather and with no great victories to his name, in battle or on the tourney field. All the same, this man, whom they called their king, always seemed to know exactly what to say to win someone over. If he’d declared war on hell itself that evening, the Merryweather brothers would probably still have marched off with him when the next morning dawned. Bennard and Dorian shouted as loud as anyone, death to the foreign upstart. That evening were betrothed to westerwomen they’d never met before, made plans for a real battle, which they had never fought in before, and drank, ate and sang as though the night would last forever. House Merryweather was not able to secure a command, yet King Mern remembered his stay at Longtable fondly. He gave Bennard and Dorian a place in the vanguard, and even adorned Bennard with a brooch of the order of the green hand the morning before the army Goldengrove, a momentous honor which Bennard would cherish for the remainder of his days. He did not have many left, as it turned out. The Field of Fire began like a dream, as the two brothers rode off at the break of dawn, two out of five thousand sets of gleaming armor atop proud warhorses. By the end of the day it had become a nightmare. Caught up in the maelstrom of battle, Dorian did not see the moment when their loss was assured, but the Gods know he could hear it, the creeping, hungry flames that descended on the reachmen like an army of its own. As hundreds were broiled inside their steel plate and thousands more choked on the inferno’s horrible vanguard of black smoke, Bennard and Dorian broke and fled. They were not far behind the retreating Loren Lannister in their escape, but half a minute made all the difference. The lines of fire fanned out, hunting more living things to devour, and engulfed the two brothers. Dorian could feel how the flames spread from his surcoat to his undershirt, all the way down to the hairs on his chest, beginning to sear his skin. In a desperate act he threw himself in the Blackwater, and would have perished if not for the shoddy work of his squire that morning, which left him able to tear off his plate before he could sink. With bloodied, burn-marked fingers, he clung to the roots of a tree by the riverside, water up to his chest. He was retrieved after some time, how long he could not say. For the next two moons his mind was adrift, distracted from his pains by milk of the poppy. The next two were far worse, as he grew more lucid and realized the extent of the damage. A burn-mark stretched from his right thigh, all the way up his chest and left bicep to the apple of his neck. Many times over, flakes of dead or dying skin had to be peeled off by the maester as the scabs kept bursting with blood and clear liquid. By the end of that year he was able to walk again, though the burn mark would leave a feverish red mark across the front of his body, his new skin settling into twisted lines.
Bennard was far worse for wear, alive yet burned all the way to his face and crippled from a fall off his horse. His nose and ear-lobes had to be cut off, too burned to save, and even his eyelids were permanently scarred, unable to sprout new lashes. The more lucid Bennard became, the deeper his sorrow. Eventually he began refusing food. The new lord of Longtable would not eat anything his cooks set in front of him. In spite of his ever present pains, Dorian began going to the kitchens, reprimanding the cooks for their failings. He knew his brother well and knew his palette, and began ordering them to make his brother’s favorites. When he felt they were making mistakes, he interrupted their work himself. He was a stranger to the kitchen, yet would criticize how things were cut too roughly, spiced too little or too much. He was a terror to the cooks, yet they could not refuse him.
His attempts to intervene were however hampered by a newfound aversion to heat. The sound of the hearth, of boiling and searing, the general sense of warmth around him made him nauseous and caused his movements to seize up. Still, he went to his brother’s bedside every day, and afterwards he forced himself back to the kitchens. His sister, Lydia, tried to stop him at first, but soon found her protes fell on deaf ears, and so joined him, if only to leash him in when he went too far. Finally, there was only one dish they hadn’t tried; the dilligrout they’d once served to the late King Mern. Every time it was made, it came out wrong. It soon turned out the cook who had served them that evening six years ago had since retired, and his exact method had never been recorded or taught to anyone else. Dorian would first invite the man to Longtable, then summon him with armed knights when invitations were refused.
Theomar, the man who appeared before him, was a sorry sight, looking frightened and confused as he was taken to his old workplace. It was explained by his sons that he’d been growing senile even six years ago, often snapping at the kitchen maids under him when his memory failed him. Since then he’d gotten worse, seldom eating, let alone cooking. Something in the old man’s eyes did seem to brighten for a moment when the sounds and smells of his old kitchen surrounded him, and Dorian ordered him to make dilligrout. Before long that faint spark had been drowned out by tears. He would start boiling capon or crushing almonds, only to leave the job half-done whenever he had to fetch something new. Serving maids were put at his disposal to bring him ingredients, yet an ingredient ordered would be met with a reprimand as he seemed to forget which dish he was making every few minutes. Finally Dorian snapped at the man, grabbing him by his collar and shouting accusations of treason against House Merryweather. By the time Lydia could restrain him and try to apologize, the man was a wreck on the floor. After watching it for a while, waiting for the man to get up and continue his work, even Dorian was overcome by pity and shame for what he’d done. The old cook was praying to the gods, begging forgiveness for his failings. Dorian began to realize he’d broken a great man down and would himself beg forgiveness. He offered the man his old cook’s quarters back for the rest of his life, and promised his sons that his maester would tend to the man in his old age, that he would be fed from Longtable’s stores.
At this point, he resolved to make the dilligrout himself. Through it all, Bennard was barely clinging to life, or rather being tethered to it by the will of others. He could only be fed when drugged down by the milk of the poppy, and the more often it was used, the less effective it became. Every day Dorian braved the kitchens, yet he could not recreate the flavor of that wonderful night. It was by the grace of the gods, perhaps with Theomar as their vessel, that Dorian would even come close. The old man could no longer cook, but over time he began to wander into the kitchens and sit down on a chair. At first Dorian thought the man only sought the warmth of the hearth for his weary bones, yet he discovered it to be more than that. Theomar’s eyes were like clouded glass, yet they brightened every now and then, hearing almonds being ground, smelling capons searing in fat, as though it was stirring the kitchenmaster of yore back to life. Eventually Dorian began to walk up to the old cook with his ingredients, bidding him to smell or taste small portions. Sometimes he got simple instructions out of it, ‘too coarse’, ‘too sour’, ‘underdone’. Som times a mere nod or frown was all Theomar managed. Over the course of a couple of days, Dorian put together one final attempt to get the dish made rightWhen he arrived in Bennard’s chamber, he was met with a look which brought forth discomfort that no flame could produce in Dorian. Plainly, raspingly, his brother asked him why he wouldn’t let him die. It was easy, Bennard reasoned. All Dorian needed to do was wait and become lord. The words almost made Dorian throw the dilligrout on the floor. Almost. He placed two bowls on Bennard’s table, the dilligrout and one brimming with milk of the poppy. Dorian told his brother to make his choice. If he sought death, Dorian would let him, but he would not hear that it was an easy thing, watching his brother die. That evening, the milk of the poppy was carried away by the maester, the empty bowl of stew taken to be washed in the kitchens. From then on, Bennard ate what his brother brought him without complaint. He lasted just into the new year, dying on its tenth day. In the predawn gloom of the twelfth, Theomar died in his sleep
Dorian took up his lordly task joylessly. His old wanderlust returned, spurred by the horrible memories that now stained Longtable and the reach itself in his mind. The final straw came when their new Tyrell overlords, insisted on him marrying a lady from a dornish house. His previous betrothal had fallen through, as the parents of his western bride had not wished to draw the ire of the Targaryens by maintaining an old alliance meant to oppose them. Instead of obliging, he boarded a ship from Oldtown going east. It stopped only briefly in Planky Town before going to Tyrosh. Noting him to be a nobleman, a few of the city’s wealthy men would host him for a while, though they quickly lost interest when his lack of knowledge of trade became apparent. After that, he spent time in the markets and squares where the common people lived. His old curiosity was piqued, and he decided to embark on a quest of learning, fashioning himself another Lomas Longstrider. He moved on to Myr, and the experience was much the same in broad strokes, a few rich men showed interest and quickly lost it. As he’d visited the dye markets he went to see the city’s famous artisans at work. One thing was notably different, he met a Tyroshi woman with green-dyed hair, going by the name Maryah. She was a trader, and the two had taken the same ship to Myr. She had been to Myr before and showed him many of its secrets. They spent an entire day in one of the vast delicacy markets so she could show him the many tastes of the city. Having no plans in advance, he asked where she was headed next.
Without a second thought he would join her on a journey to Lys. He soon understood it to be a test. It was not long before she teased him, speculating he’d only joined her for a chance to see the famous pleasure houses. Evening after evening they stayed in the city and Maryah would tease and test him over the matter. Finally he told her he’d renounce his betrothal for her, that there was no one else in his eye. She laughed, replying he would not have to. The next morning, Dorian awoke to find that she was already up, the green washed from her black curls. Maryah had in fact been Joanna Dayne, his dornish bride to be, having traveled the same route as him ever since his ship stopped at Planky Town to refill its food and water. She was already quite familiar with the three closest free cities, having served as a dornish envoy on behalf of its spice traders. As they planned their return to Westeros, Joanna asked him what else in the world he wanted to see. Within a few moons of being wed, they left Westeros, not to return for three years.The journey was what his mind needed, away from the Reach, its knights and tapestries, hunts and tourneys. Ultimately, the lords and knights of his homeland, for all their songs and poetry, lived every day in preparation for war, frivolous though the preparations were. Joanna showed him a different world, the remnants of Old Valyria. War was to be sure inescapable. Wherever they went, there were soldiers, tapestries, contests of arms, and yet the cities housed something else as well, a boundless potential for creation, commerce and growth.
Thanks to Joanna Dayne’s knowledge their stays became far better planned, and they could enjoy the hospitality of wealthy locals far longer. She knew how to talk about the spice trade and similar matters, and Dorian began to pick up on it. On their second stay in Myr, he procured a great deal of fine parchment and began taking notes, everything from negotiation tactics and the prices of cloves or red peppers to court customs, as well as more eclectic pieces of knowledge, details of running an eastern estate, descriptions of technological marvels he had never seen in Westeros, and ingredients in the local food. By the time they neared Qarth he had quite the list of recipes, among other things. There he was even able to learn a few all the way from Yi Ti, as some local cooks catered to merchants from the Golden Empire. On their journey home they’d end up taking the opportunity to see the newly made port of King’s Landing. By that time, a third member had joined their journey, their infant daughter Florys. Having left Longtable in the care of his sister and steward for three years, Dorian finally accepted the responsibility of running his ancestral home.
Longtable was considered to rule over some of the best lands in the Reach, ideally situated along the river with abundant soil which could provide two grain harvests in a year. Having seen the estates which supplied the great cities of the east, Dorian was all too aware of its comparative shortcomings. He found that the abundance of the land had a counterproductive effect, breeding complacency and carelessness. From his grandiose tour of the east, he went on a painstaking tour of his own lands, trying to get an overview of everything he ruled over. He paid the citadel a fee to send him half a dozen maesters in training for a season. These young men, literate and numerate, would serve his own maester in conducting a survey of the land, giving Dorian account of all resources at his disposal as lord. The results were quite varied.
Some peasants were found to have remarkable agricultural insights which they had no way of writing down, entirely reliant on passing the knowledge to their children. Knowing the risks of such a method of transferring knowledge, Dorian ordered such insights recorded. In other places there were farmers and communities who were unwittingly exhausting their soil. Instances of lack of fallow land, excessive grazing by cows and lack of crop rotation were also made note of, followed by edicts against such heedless practices. Septons, sheriffs and tax collectors were given written copies and were obliged to read them to the peasantry wherever it was deemed necessary. It also became part of the obligations of farmers to plant a set amount of clover in their fields and pastures, a practice some had taken up on their own but which had already become a standardized law among the estates belonging to Myr and Volantis. Irrigation was expanded and land inheritance was reformed to prevent the splitting of fields past a certain threshold.
Lord Dorian was not always successful. Some eastern ideas had been useful innovations which improved conditions across the board. In time he learned that the peculiarities of the westerosi system were sometimes necessary for the sake of stability, not merely the misshapen fruits of ignorance. His attempt to enclose part of the common lands proved abortive, as it nearly caused a peasant rebellion. A procession of aggrieved smallfolk headed for Longtable had to be dispersed by knights, armed with wooden clubs to prevent needless bloodshed.Two men were hanged and five sent to the wall, but the reform was thereafter abandoned, leading the populace to calm down. Dorian was not much of a military leader and had not wielded weapons since the Field of Fire. He became aware of his need to bolster his forces, a notion reinforced by the establishment of the Black Roses not long after his return, and again with the Kingswood Catastrophe
In the meantime, he and Joanna raised a family together. Three more daughters would be born healthy, with a couple of miscarriages and a stillbirth in between, also a daughter. Their travels did not entirely come to an end. In 13 AC they would tour the northern free cities of Norvos, Qohor, Pentos, Braavos and Lorath, which they had missed on their original journey. The lion’s share of 17 AC was spent on a journey to the Summer Islands. At other times they would make shorter journeys around the Seven Kingdoms, where they felt more secure in bringing their older children along. Whether it was visiting Joanna’s family in Dorne, tourneys and feasts in the Reach and West or even one trip to see the wall, a nameday wish by Florys, they were often on the move. Like most of their peers, they frequented Oldtown and Highgarden
The growing rift between the two queens and their children was a situation Dorian would watch with dread in his heart, remembering keenly how a generation of young men had been brought to the field of fire. To his mind, the Targaryen rule ought not go to waste. Like Valyria of old, it had begun with fire and blood, yet similarly peace and prosperity had followed in its wake. If only the dragons could stand united, perhaps another long peace like the one the Freehold once enjoyed could again be established. If not, another century of blood was upon them. Under Dorian, Longtable became a place where he sought to bring together people from across the kingdoms and forge unity over the dinner table, an attitude which somewhat vexed and confounded his more militaristic daughter and heiress, Lady Florys. Even amid her questioning of the viability of his peaceful ways when surrounded by those who would make war, a terrible sight would steel his resolve, watching the Mander burning green, every bit as terrible as the flames from twenty one years prior. That night he made a simple vow, never again.
The League of the Cornucopia, he would name his little group, a gallery of lords and ladies whose acquaintances he’d made over the years. With these fellow gourmets he would share the culinary knowledge he’d gleaned from his journeys in the east and west. Most unusual for a lord of his rank, Dorian came to spend a great deal of time in his kitchens, testing out recipes himself. On occasion, the dishes he served to his guests for these small, intimate gatherings would be the work of his own hands. The membership did vary from time to time, both based on who could make it and who he sought to bring together. Rather than a fully closed circle, the League is more like a form of feasting, only it’s done for a much smaller crowd, without the public spectacle. Such occasions allowed for more refined foods which did not need to be served to hundreds and kept constantly warm over the course of hours like some common tavern stew. It also opened up an arena of more intimate diplomacy and negotiation for those who sought it, hosted on neutral ground by a lordly mediator, free from prying eyes.
Timeline:
25BC: Dorian is born, second in line to Longtable
24BC: His sister Lydia is born
9BC: House Merryweather hosts House Gardener for a tourney and feast. Dorian and his older brother Bennard serve the dish of honor to King Mern Gardener and his family. During the subsequent tourney, Mern knights both boys, despite their inexperience and lack of victory in the tourney
9BC-2BC: Dorian spends much time travelling the reach, attending events
1BC: Dorian and Bennard fight in the vanguard at the Field of Fire. Both are burned, Bennard far more severely than Dorian. Lord Merryweather is killed. Traumatized by the battle and his new maimed body, Bennard starts refusing food. Dorian desperately tries to re-create the dish they served King Mern eight years ago. The cook who made it has since gone senile, but eventually manages to help Dorian re-create it. He is given a place at court as apology for his mistreatment at Dorian's hands before this occurred.
1AC: Lord Bennard dies at the beginning of the year, leaving Dorian as lord of Longtable. His sister Lydia fulfills her betrothal to House Tarly, becoming lady of Horn Hill. At the prospect of marrying a Dornishwoman on the King's orders, Dorian decides to leave Westeros to put off his marriage. In Myr, he meets a woman calling herself Maryah, claiming to be a Tyroshi merchant. They fall in love and travel to Lys together. There Dorian promises to set aside his betrothal for her, whereupon she reveals herself as Joanna Dayne, his dornish betrothed.
1AC-4AC: Dorian and Joanna wed at Longtable, then depart on a new journey of the east. They reach as far as Qarth before turning back home. In 3AC, on the way back, their first child, Florys, is born while the couple are in Volantis, on the way home. They return via the newly built port of King's Landing.
4AC-8AC: Using knowledge from the east, Lord Dorian embarks on a project of rationalizing the agriculture of Longtable
5AC: Dorian and Joanna have their second child, a girl named Ellyn
8AC: Their third daughter, Desmera, is born
13AC: Dorian and Joanna spend a year travelling the northern free cities
14AC: Their fourth and final daughter, Gwin, is born
17AC: Dorian and Joanna undertake a journey to the Summer Islands with their children
23AC: The aftermath of the battle of Stonebridge brings back memories of the Field of Fire, as the Merryweathers watch burning slag run down the Mander
25AC: The Merryweathers travel to the celebration of the maturity of Aegon's sons
Family Tree:
Arthor Merryweather (father, d.1BC)
Cerelle Merryweather (pending family connection) (mother, d.20AC)
Bennard Merryweather (brother, d.1AC)
Lydia Merryweather (sister, b.24BC)
Glendon Merryweather (uncle, d.1BC)
Myrcella Pommingham (aunt, d.22AC)
Leo Merryweather (cousin, b.13AC)
Joanna Dayne (wife, b.26AC)
Florys Merryweather (daughter, b.3AC)
Ellyn Merryweather (daughter, b.5AC)
Desmera Merryweather (daughter, b.8AC)
Gwin Merryweather (daughter, b.13AC)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Auxiliary Character:
Name and House: Florys Merryweather
Age: 23
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [A short, muscular woman with wavy black hair, normally worn in a bun. She has high cheekbones and a proud demeanor. Her rigid strength stands in contrast to the more relaxed nature of the Merryweather court, one she finds overly lax and casual](0_0.png (896×1344) (discordapp.com))
Trait: Hale
Skills: Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talents: Dancing, Fishing, Cooking
Negative Traits: N/A
Starting Title: Heir to Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Timeline:
3AC: Florys is born in Volantis, while her parents are on their way home from Essos
10AC: Florys starts training under Saathos Trevelyan, her father's Master at Arms
13 AC: She joins her parents on a tour of Pentos, Braavos, Norvos and Qohor
17AC: She travels with her parents to the Summer Islands
19AC-23AC: As she comes of age, Florys becomes more critical of her father's desire for peace, viewing it as increasingly far-fetched amid the increasingly controversial regency and the impending succession dispute. She resolves to make the kinds of connections her father seems unwilling to, in case of war
25AC: She accompanies her family to the celebrations
NPCS:
Ser Leo Merryweather (Age: 37, Archetype: Magnate) Lord Merryweather's first cousin, he has become an indispensable agent in the daily running of Longtable. Despite his foppish demeanor and aparent laziness, he is highly capable and loyal in his task of increasing his family's fortune. He remains happily unwed
Saathos Tevelyan: (Age:48, Archetype: Master at Arms) The son of a Lysene father and a Myrish mother, Saathos initially sought a career in amongst Myr's military officers, however his family's relatively low status proved an impediment to further promotion, later compounded by a dispute with a superior. He met Lord Merryweather in 3AC and eventually travelled West to offer his services five years later, finding his career progress stonewalled in his home city. Well into middle age, he still looks firm and imposing as profesisonal a soldier ought to
submitted by Thenn_Applicant to ITRPCommunity [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 09:28 Aggressive-City4453 Lakeshore cabin 41

The story begins in 1968 on one of the deepest freshwater lakes, crater lake in Washington state. Marc a 23 year old explorer, loved camping fishing just getting away from it all. Marc grew up in a smaller town Moses Lake Washington. Its located off the interstate in between Spokane and Seattle Washington, Marc decided he wanted to go explore the crater Lake area only telling his mother and father where he was headed. “Expect me back in a week” Marc said bags packed loaded into his 2015 ford explorer.
He pulled out of the driveway waving goodbye to his mother. Little did they know this was the last time they would see eachother due to the events about to unfold. Marc jammed his favorite tunes the whole 3 hour trip to crater lake. He was there found his campsite right away, nobody was within a 300 yards of his secluded little spot. He unpacked put up his tent and was ready for a hike.
It was 330 in the afternoon on day 1 of his little vacation. When he took off on a steep rugged trail that made its way around the lake. Marc never was one to stay on the beaten path as he liked to explore and go places not many others have ever gone. After getting his fill of sights and feeling exhausted and hungry. Marc decided it was time to make his way back to camp. He made dinner drank a few beers that he enjoyed while camping and turned in for the night.
It was a quiet night and Marc found himself fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, The next morning Marc was up early made some breakfast and packed a lunch for the long eventful day ahead. His plan being to go off the beaten path again and find some little streams to fish along the way. Marc hiked about 3-4 hours off the main trail and found a beautiful crystal clear brook with rapids flowing into some deeper holes.
Perfect for catching brook trout and that he did. using a panther Martin black with yellow dots and a silver spoon to mimic baitfish and it was the color that was always his go to. It wasn’t but his second cast and a nice 1lb brookie nailed his spinner and put up a little fight before Marc landed it and immediately gutted it and stored it away. Brook trout are one of best eating trout. Marc continued to climb up the stream to higher elevations hitting hole after home along the way.
The day went by quick as it was nearing dusk and Marc had caught 12 nice sized brook trout and a couple little cutthroat as well. Plenty to make a good 3 meals out of. Geared with only a flashlight and his pack fishing pole and fish cleaning supplies Marc made his way of what he thought was the way back out towards his camp.
Checking his watch on his phone Marc seen it was 11pm pitch black dark out now and he realized he had been walking long enough that he shoulda recognized some landmarks or where he had made his way in, but he didn’t recognize anything and with it being dark out he was even more lost.
Without panicking Marc decided to set up a little camp where he was. under some big pine trees surrounding the whole area next to another little stream that he stumbled into. Giant boulders made for a nice cover to keep himself tucked away in case any large animals might have passed by looking for a meal. Marc was aware he was in bear country as well as cougar and wolves.
Unable to catch any sleep Marc sat and built a little campfire cooked a few trout ate them and kept the fire stoked until the sun started peeking up over the mountains at around 445 am. As soon as he was ready to get back on track Marc looked around and realized where he was or so he thought. The little stream forked off and hooked around making a horseshoe type shape exactly like the one he had seen on his way in yesterday afternoon.
Marc now excited and in a hurry quickly hiked through the brush mixed in with pine trees away from the streams until he could no longer hear the flow of them. After walking a hood 3 hours Marc was starting to get frustrated that nothing was looking familiar to him again. It was now early afternoon and Marc knew he was lost the terrain looked all so similar and he had ventured actually two times as far away from his original camp.
Unaware of this Marc made his way to another stream and decided to follow it down the mountain hoping it would lead into a lake or maybe crater lake where he was camping. Marc hiked and jogged and was just enjoying the scenery when he stumbled upon an old looking cabin. The trees were really big blocking out most all the light from the sun here and even at about 5pm it seemed like it was getting dark.
Marc was feeling wore down he had hiked close to 35 miles the past two days trying to find his way back out. He decided to go check if the cabin was inhabited he went up yjj ok the door knocked three of four times. But nobody answered. So after about 10 minutes of waiting marc decided to peer into the window and could see some old handmade furniture a wood stove and a few other miscellaneous items on the floor.
It looked like nobody had been here for years like it was an old secret hunting cabin back in the woods that only a few if any people knew about. Marc noticed a little homemade sign on the wall that read lakeshore cabin #41. He tried the door assuming it was locked but it was not. So he went in as the night was creeping in fast. He gathered some wood put in the wood stove cooked up some more trout and was exhausted from no sleep the night before .
Marc used his pack as a pillow curled up in the corner of the living room by the wood stove and was gone into dreamland before he knew it. Marc’s phone battery was in the red line when he had woken up only 18% left. So he decided to write in his phone notes just in case something were to happen to him or he didn’t make it back out. As he was doing this and finishing up he felt like he was being watched. Just had an eerie unsettling feeling of an evil presence nearby.
This gave Marc anxiety so after noting all this in his phone he turned it off to then save energy. His last few words on his phone when it was discovered two years after a missing persons report was filed said im actually feeling scared like I gotta leave now so I’m going to leave the cabin and head west as far as I can before next nightfall. I love you mom and dad and I hope I see you guys soon.
This was the last anyone ever heard of Marc when his phone was found busted up 25 miles away from crater lake under a group of smaller pine trees. No foul play was discovered and not one sign of Marc or his belongings were ever found to this day. Some say he stumbled into a haunted cabin and something evil took him never to be seen again. Others say he just got lost and ran outta food and water and eventually had succumbed to dehydration and the animals cleaned him up. But no bones, pieces of clothing anything was ever found.
Marc’s parents were able to gather his original tent and camping supplies as that had not been messed with up by crater lake. What do you think happened to Marc? Was he abducted, torn to pieces by animals, something paranormal in those woods got him? Another unsolved missing person in the woods story. Where do these people go? What is happening to them?
submitted by Aggressive-City4453 to scarystories [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 09:12 BestSlowbroEU Hoping for help and opinions comparing Farsight to Commanders when leading Starscythes ..

Please bear in mind that these thoughts really only apply to RetCa Starscythe units, I just can't really explain that in a title!
This is because I think the comparison might be a bit more complicated than most people seem to realise due to the fact Farsight can use 'The Arro'kon Protocol' on his unit every turn, for free. To save you looking it up in case you can't remember;
"Until the end of the [shooting] phase, each time a model in your [battlesuit] unit makes an attack that targets an enemy unit that contains 6 or more models, that attack has the [SUSTAINED HITS 1] ability. If that attack targets an enemy unit that contains 11 or more models, it has the [SUSTAINED HITS 2] ability instead."
Alright, cool. Weirdly, my first thought wasn't Starscythes but in fact Fireknives because they like firing into big, healthy units and they get rerolls so you're gonna hit a lot of shots pretty reliably. Seemed to make sense but after some pondering I decided that too much of the appeal of Fireknives is their 'mid-strength weapon' versatility. They can play a bit of the resource management efficiency game with the 30" range and rerolls but if the moment calls for it, you can zip up into Bonded Heroes range and lay down some slightly higher than expected damage. Or fire up the Starflare Ignition System and peace out to the backline to cause trouble. To me that sounds a lot more fun and probably actually better than fishing for 6s while Farsight spends his time popping his stratagem repeatedly, waving his sword around a bit and turn by turn, slowly losing his erection.
Ok but Farsight of course enjoys his time amongst the new frontlining Starscythes so the original point of this post was to think about whether a 235pt burst cannon unit pumping out 24 S6AP-2 sus2 +1 to wound, rerolling all the 1s can compare to what the commanders offer. I'll exclude drones because I have to because I'm not that smart.
Assuming S. Suits are helping I think you average about 27 hits and you're gonna be wounding anything up to T5 on 2s, rerolling the 1s. Ok. Seems pretty good to me. Asking kindly for a 10man+leader unit to take 25 AP-2 saves sounds like something I'd enjoy. Good chance they fail 16 and they don't like it. And it's still 15-16 wounds on a 6man T6 unit which at AP-2 will often mean 3 dead chunky 3W models and sometimes 4.
Ok now imagine a (260pts) Coldstar-led team zooming across the battlefield to get within 6", dropping a few mortals on a few heads on the way over. It's nice to think about. I'm just gonna go with flamers because I think the overwatch threat is substantial enough when you're up close to justify them so 9 flamers is gonna be 31ish hits with S5 AP-2. If you're rich enough in observer units to guide with S. Suits you might earn an extra 3 wounds here vs T3/4 but for me part of the appeal of the flamers is that you can put a marker drone on the Shas'vre/Commander and spot during the turns you're usually wishing you didn't have to engage all of your spotters in frantic, sacrificial move blocking.
So with the Coldstar it's roughly 20-23 wounds vs T3/4, 15-17 vs T5 at AP-2 and that's excluding the HOBC completely. Already pretty decent but we must also try to weigh this units high independence, overwatch threat, mobility, and ability to dish out mortal wounds (and no I haven't forgotten about the fabled Farsight tank shock but to be honest I don't have much of an idea about how good it is in actuality this edition so I just sort of feel unable to add this in to the equation. That's on me.).
The damage would be slightly less on an Enforcer but then of course you get to save points and you get his lovely durABILITY. And does it even matter that you can't zoom when you can use the tiny blade to get 3" inside of them? Does anyone else just picture a 3" inch knife when you think of 'The Shortened Blade' because of your inability to not think about the rules for a moment? Because I can't not picture a 3" inch blade and it irritates me because it looks pathetic in my mind's eye. Now is the time to speak up if you share my pain. But anyway the Enforcer just seems very delicious in this type of plan given that we have amazing access to the deep and important areas of the board. You know .. Could it just be that worsening incoming AP on a unit that really needs to be killed is just really fucking good when the nearby enemy infantry can't move a muscle without getting completely cooked? I really would implore anyone who doesn't think this codex is strong or fun to keep reading and stay curious.
If anyone has any insights or thoughts I'd sincerely like to hear them as I feel that a lot of this conversation thus far has come down to more guns is better. Something which is admittedly true for us most of the time. Hopefully no matter what you think you can see this is a pretty good example of nice internal balance. Perhaps Firesight can't match up to the Commanders on the top, top level of the game (but perhaps he can?!) but I think clearly his access to free Arro'kon Protocols make him a real punchy threat on top of what is already a cool looking, versatile-ish, 8W 2+/4++ utility leader.
To the one Shas'O that read the whole thing, thanks, but get back to work. Your boss has noted this is your third extended toilet break of the morning and he is on the brink of offering you unsolicited dietary advice.
submitted by BestSlowbroEU to Tau40K [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 07:50 getfastblog What is 180 Degrees Celsius in Fahrenheit?

What is 180 Degrees Celsius in Fahrenheit?
Have you ever wondered what is 180 degrees celsius to fahrenheitHave you ever wondered what is 180 degrees celsius to fahrenheit? It's a common conversion that many people need to make when following formulas or when dealing with temperature-related tasks. We will break down this conversion in a simple and easy-to-understand way.
https://preview.redd.it/103aqzidzb0d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41d44e07279e710bf5639d7b946dfa220387a1da

Who Discovered the Celsius Scale?

First, let's touch on some common information. The Celsius scale was invented by Anders Celsius, a Swedish astronomer, in 1742. He originally described the freezing point of water as 100 degrees and the boiling point as 0 degrees on his scale. However, this was later changed to the familiar 0 degrees for freezing and 100 degrees for boiling.

Formula Convert Celsius to Fahrenheit

Now, let's dive into the conversion of 180 degrees Celsius to Fahrenheit. The formula to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit is fairly simple. You can use the following equation:
https://preview.redd.it/l23tkkvezb0d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d628b07589bd5dc65f18c9a2312173c8da641af3
[Fahrenheit] = [Celsius] × 9/5 + 32
For example, to convert 180c to f:
[Fahrenheit] = 180 × 9/5 + 32
[Fahrenheit] = 324+ 32
[Fahrenheit] = 356
Therefore, 180 degrees Celsius is equal to 356 degrees Fahrenheit.

Conclusion

In conclusion, knowing how to convert between Celsius and Fahrenheit is a handy skill to have, especially when dealing with temperature-related tasks. Whether you're cooking in the kitchen or studying science, understanding these temperature scales can be beneficial. Remember, 180 degrees Celsius is equal to 356 degrees Fahrenheit, so now you'll never have to wonder about this conversion again!
Still curious? Click here to visit our website and read the comprehensive blog post on converting 180°C to Fahrenheit. Expand your knowledge and become a temperature conversion expert today!
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2024.05.14 07:46 Borx06 I just had one of the craziest dreams ever!

It started with me and my cousin hanging around the river. After some time we went for a walk. And as we're walking we see fucking dusty divot in the distance so ofcourse we go there. We're there exploring and then we see giant skulls that are really big. So we get fucking scared and want to leave but something happens. We see fucking king kong. He hits my cousin and I get angry and I wanna fight him which is crazy because he's like 15 meters tall. He says bet and shrinks to my height. I obviously won. He then left.
After that me and my cousin decide to leave. We get out of dusty and then in the distance we see fucking mama kong with laser eyes. And I'm like we gotta go but stupid monkey see's us and starts running towards us. We go back to dusty to hide but mama kong take my cousin and throw him away and then I wanna fight again. Mama kong shrinks to my size but is suddenly looking like my classmate. We're fighting and I'm crazy. I'm doing some tricks and I beat mama kong. Then me and my cousin leave.
After that we go to my grandmas house. A lot of people are there celebrating something. I ask then how can they fucking celebrate when there are fucking giant monkeys walking around. They ignore me. Then my mum tells me origin of kong. She says that her friend from work was taking care of kong. He was normal sized monkey but super intelligent. One day he decided to go gambling. He was pressing buttons but because of his big fingers he pressed wrong button and lost all his money. He then got mad and called my mums friend a bitch. He ran away from house after that. I'm like thats crazy.
And then sky starts flickering and we see giant wings in the distance and we immediately know kong is coming. Me and my cousin hide under the trailer but everyone else is still sitting at the table. Kong walks to the table and he is just standing. I think to myself that maybe he doesn't attack if you don't show fear and just ignore him but as I thought that he flips over the table. Then he turns to the trailer and is looking at me. But somehow I am spiderman. My spider sense is so strong that it can talk to me and its telling me how it made my skin purple so kong would think there's only spider suit under the trailer. After that, kong hacks my computer with his super brain and finds out my name, which is Peter Parker now, and where I live. He then leaves us alone but my cousin starts making noises and im scared that he will turn back and try to kill us but he just leaves.
My rating: Pretty interesting and crazy dream. Plot is great. It made me scared at the moments. It gave us Kongs backstory which is really great. Great main and side characters. Overall: 9/10, it was a great dream but not the best I ever had.
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2024.05.14 07:37 LucyAriaRose New Update: My friend keeps on talking about my ex in front of my fiancee

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ta-bff-234324. He posted in AITAH and amiwrong but posted the same text in both subreddits. I chose to use the ones from AITAH
Thanks again to u/Literally_Taken for the rec and to Choice Evidence and u/chickenoodledeprived for letting me know about the update!
Previous BORU here. New update marked with ****\*
Trigger Warning: racism
Mood Spoiler: tentatively happy ending
Original Post: April 1, 2024
My (29M) best friend Jess (29F) keeps on mentioning my ex (29F) in front of my fiancee, and I am thinking of cutting her off. I want to know if I am overreacting, or if Jess is in the wrong.
For context, Jess and I went to the same high school and the same college. We were friends in high school. However, since we both went to the same out-of-state college, we became best friends since then. We have always been there for each other during the best and worst times. However, things have always been platonic, and she is more like a big sister to me, who made sure I stay on the right track.
I have only been in two long-term relationships so far. One was with my ex Lisa for 7 years. We met in college and dated all through our college years. Lisa and Jess also became good friends, too. After college, Lisa and I just grew apart and had different goals in life. I became "boring" after college as I was working on my PhD while doing a full time job. Lisa broke up with me as she wanted to party on weekends, while I was home studying. I was heartbroken, but I don't think I ever blamed her or had resentment towards her, as I understood my decisions were selfish and should not hold her back from having the best life.
Jess always stood by me and comforted me during that time. Jess and Lisa were good friends and Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready. I foolishly held on to that hope and stayed friends with Lisa. That was until I met my fiancee Yang. After I finished my PhD, I got a nice job in a big tech company. Yang joined our team a year after me. We started going out for drinks, and dinner and we started dating seriously pretty soon. We are happy together, and financially in a great place. Needless to say, I stopped talking to Lisa after I started dating Yang.
I proposed to Yang a year after we started dating and got engaged last year. Jess has been acting weirdly since we got engaged. One of the first things she said to Yang after we got engaged was how I had planned the same thing for Lisa (proposing on a local hiking trail). It was a bit off-putting that she was bringing up Lisa whom I broke up with almost 5 years ago on such a happy occasion. However, Yang asked me to not spoil my mood, as she felt Jess was just commenting on how I had that plan in mind for years. Since then, every time we meet, Jess without fail brings up Lisa and how the things I am doing are all the things I had planned with Lisa. This happened when we bought a house, planned for vacations, etc. Jess always starts with some nostalgic story and then brings up how Lisa and I were so happy together. She is still good friends with Lisa and keeps giving me updates about Lisa and how great Lisa is doing at work when no one is asking for it. It felt like she was painting a rosy picture of Lisa to Yang and telling Yang that she would always be second to Lisa.
Yang told me Jess's comments bothered her, and I also felt the same. I have brought this up with Jess many times and asked her not to do it. However, she says she will try but since I dated Lisa for 7 years, she would be part of many stories from the past. Also, she asked me why talking about Lisa bothers me and if I still have feelings for her. I have reduced hanging out with Jess. However, she is close with my mom and is always invited to all our family parties and holidays.
I talked to my mom and sister about this and they feel I am overreacting. They feel Jess is just telling stories and since the stories are mostly from college days and later, Lisa will be a character in the story. They also feel I should not be bothered by Jess mentioning Lisa since we broke up a long time ago. I feel that it's disrespectful to Yang as she doesn't need to hear about all the fun Lisa and I had when we were together and how we were planning to get married. Do you think I am the asshole to stop here or Jess is truly acting out of line?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Probably need to separate your time with your fiancé away from your friend. ... On a side note, your friend comes across poorly on one other aspect. When you were too busy to date so you could study. She is encouraging you to stay available while your ex goes about dating around? Think she ever encouraged your ex to not? Or do you think she was telling your ex she could have all the fun she wanted cause you'd still be around? Food for thought.
OOP: She thought we were 24 when we broke up and she always justified that Lisa was young and it's natural to date around before you settle down. She also encouraged me to do the same. However, after my breakup, I decided that I would not be in a relationship (based on what happened to the previous one) and never dated anyone until after I graduated.
Commenter: Not wrong, in fact it's thoughtful of your finace's feelings. " Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready." - yikes.
An easy: "Jess, you keep bringing up my ex, and keep making comments which are dismissive of my relationship with Yang. I am telling you point blank that this is harming our friendship and it saddens me that you dismiss my feelings as being unimportant on this topic. If you can't respect me, and my relationship with Yang, please understand why it will likely end our friendship."
OOP: We have had this exact conversation. Jess then proceeded to ask Yang is she offended by her telling stories about me. Yang was polite and said she is ok. Then she told me I am being too sensitive.
Commenter: Op do you know if Lisa is married? Maybe Jess is trying to sabotage your engagement so you can be with Lisa.
OOP: I know Lisa is single. She has not been in any serious long term relationship after me. Infant, Jess always makes it a point to bring that up regularly and update me, even after I tell her I have no interest. My mom loves gossip and they also discuss a out Lisa regularly.
Jess is just being a mean girl/have you talked to Lisa at all?
At this point, I suspect Jess is just being mean to Yang. I would have cut her off long ago if she was not so close to me or my family for so many years.
Lisa is out of the picture, to be honest. I have completely gone no contact with her for the last 2 years.
Jess has feelings for you:
That's not true. I did not write it since I thought it was irrelevant, but Jess is happily married and has a 3 year old kid.
There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but top comments were NTA
Update Post: April 23, 2024 (22 days later)
I wrote a post a month ago regarding my friend Jess mentioning my ex constantly in front of my fiancée. Thanks to everyone who commented, and how inappropriate it was. However, the last month has been nothing but crazy and I still trying to make sense of what happened so far.
After my post, I decided to talk to Jess and gave her an ultimatum not to speak about my ex Lisa again. I know Jess and Lisa are still friends, but I was uncomfortable of her comparing my fiancée Yang with Lisa all the time. I broke up with Lisa 5 years ago, and she is nothing but a faint memory in my past. Jess kept on defending herself and telling me that I was with Lisa for most of my adult life and it's hard to tell any stories from the past without including her. She also blamed me for being emotionally childish and just forgetting about Lisa when she was with me for 7 years. Finally, Jess agreed that she will not bring up Lisa in front of Yang, and I should also not treat Lisa as she does not exist since she is still Jess's friend. I informed Yang about our conversation. Although she was appreciative about it, she said I did not need to do it and she knows how much I love her and every time Jess brings up my Lisa, she feels sorry for Lisa that she let a guy like me go.
Yang went to visit China two weeks ago for a month as we plan to get married in her hometown. She is taking care of her shopping as well as preparations for the wedding. Jess invited me to her house that Friday for dinner as I was home alone. I am also good friends with her husband, and we were all just chatting and drinking in the living room. Around 7.30pm, the doorbell rang, and Jess excitedly went to open the door. To my surprise, it was fucking Lisa at the door. She was all dressed up as if she were ready for a date and came in. I had not seen her in person for almost 3 years and I was shocked to see her. She sat down and started making small talk with me. I was extremely uncomfortable and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess. I was angry at her and asked her what was going on. She kept on telling me that it's been 5 years since the breakup and to get over it and be nice to Lisa. She said Lisa was excited to meet me and she thought we were all adults and could have one fun evening together. We had a fight and I told her that she should not have invited Lisa after our conversation the other day and I do not want to be friends with her anymore. I went into the living room and politely excused myself and told everyone that I had a work emergency and had to leave early. Lisa looked sad, but I genuinely felt uncomfortable to be made to hang out with my ex without my consent.
I came home and called Yang. I have never seen her more furious, and she told me she is not comfortable with Jess anymore as she has some agenda that we do not know about. It's different to talk about Lisa, but to invite her without consulting is not ok. I also felt the same and I called Jess the next day and told her that she crossed a line, and I was terribly upset with her. I stopped taking her calls and ghosted her. I also told my mom and sister about the whole incident.
Last Sunday, my mom called me for lunch. When I got there, I saw Jess was already there. I told my mom that I do not want to talk to Jess and can't stay. However, she asked me to sit as they all wanted to talk to me. I have a glutton for punishment and decided to hear them out. My mom started with how Jess has been there for me all these years and only has my best interest at heart. She kept on telling me that they are the three people (mom, sister, and Jess) that love me the most. Jess started saying how she felt that I was making a big mistake in not having to hear what Lisa had to say. She told me that Lisa was my first love and Lisa is now ready to settle down and we can pick where we left off. She reminded me how broken I was when Lisa left me and how life is giving me a second chance. My sister also chimed in and said how they all liked Lisa more than Yang and how we both looked so great together. Finally, my mom started saying how our culture was so different than Yang and it is hard for them to relate to her. I asked them in what way, and my mom said that they did not understand what Yang says sometimes and have nothing in common with her. Then my mom asked me to think about how Lisa and I would have such wonderful looking kids, while if I marry Yang, our kids will look so different. I started getting their drift and I probed more. My mom told me how our kids would look Asian with "small eyes" and not like any others in the family.
I asked my mom if she cared about my kids looks more and not about how smart they will be since Yang has a PhD. She blew it off, and I realized she just did not want me to marry Yang because she was Chinese and not white. My mom told me to forgive Jess and my mom asked Jess to talk to Lisa on my behalf and asked her if she would be interested in getting back together with me. My mom was adamant that since I loved Lisa so much, I should be happy and pick up things where we left off as that is the best for everyone. I have never been so angry and may have said a lot of unkind things to all of them before I left
I am so depressed right now. I not only lost my best friend, but also am not sure how I can move on from what my mom said. My mom and sister raised me and that is the reason where I am today. However, I cannot get over how racist they are being and how they were just pretending to like Yang all these years while actively working on breaking us up. I have been so shocked that I have not told any of this to Yang so far. I might wait for her to come back next week and talk to her in person.
Again, thanks everyone for all your messages on the last post as they helped me a lot to think through the situation. My life is more fucked up than I could imagine, and I cannot imagine how dejected Yang will feel after hearing all this.
*****New Update Post: May 7, 2024 (5 weeks after OG post)****\*
I wrote a post two months ago regarding my best friend Jess constantly bringing up my ex when talking to my fiancée Yang. I wrote an update two weeks ago about my mom, sister and Jess scheming about trying to get me back with my ex Lisa because they were uncomfortable with Yang being Chinese. They tried to do it when my fiancée was visiting her parents and I felt so betrayed by their actions.
As I said in the previous post, I blew up on my mom and sister about what they said and immediately left. I did not take calls from them or answer texts for the next several days. Their messages initially were anger towards me on why I left before they could finish what they wanted to say. However, I think they realized on day 3 that they might have crossed the line this time and became extremely apologetic. I finally messaged them to leave me alone and not to contact Yang or I until we contact them. Jess did not message me the whole time.
I did not tell Yang about the situation until she came back home 9 days ago. I initially did not know how to bring up the subject, but she sensed something was wrong and asked me about it. I was so worried about hurting her, but I told her about what happened. I was upfront about the stunt Jess pulled and she was angry at Jess. I also told her about my visit to my mother's place, but she did not react with any anger. She just asked me if I was ok.
The next few days were confusing where I was more upset than Yang. She was just excited showing me all pictures and telling me stories. Finally, on last Thursday evening, she opened up and asked me if I was ok about my mom's behavior and what I plan to do. I told her my thoughts and how I cannot forgive them for what they said about her being Asian and them wanting me to marry a Lisa because she was white. I asked her why she was not more upset as it was bothering me.
She told me that when she told her parents about me, they had the exact same reaction for her dating someone who was not Chinese. Her family is very traditional, and her parents were very upset about her decision. It took them a few months to warm up to me and accept me. She never told me about this because she wanted me to have good relationship with her parents. She told me that now they are the most excited doing arrangements for our wedding.
She told me that she has always felt something was off when she talked to my mom, my sister or Jess and they did not like her. My mom and sister would be very friendly with her in front of me, but never invited her for anything when I am not around. She suspected that it may be due to fact that she is not white and does not understand the American traditions. She said she is not upset with them and now that this is in the open, she should talk to them and assure them that she would be as good of a wife as Lisa or any other girl. She said that she does not want to break a family in order to start a new one.
Despite my protests, Yang invited my mom and sister for lunch on Sunday. She said that it would be good for us to talk about everything and hear why they are concerned about her marrying me. I was really not happy with this, but Yang spent most of Sunday morning cooking for them.
When my mom and sister arrived, there were a lot of waterworks and apologies. My mom apologized to Yang and me for her behavior and told us that she would never bring it up again. My sister also was quiet and had tears in her eyes. There were a lot of blame games. My mom and my sister were blaming Jess for constantly telling them how Yang might not be great for me and how she won't fit into our family. My mom and sister fought with Jess after I left and Jess blamed Lisa. Based on Jess's story, Lisa has been depressed for the last few years and when I suddenly got engaged to Yang, it became worse. Jess thought I was also depressed after Lisa left me, because I did not date anyone for 3 years. In reality, I just wanted to focus on my work and studies and never had time. So, Lisa convinced Jess that she has to get back together with me as that is what I wanted too. Jess said how sorry she felt for Lisa as she was her longtime friend and listened to her plan as she thought it was good for everyone.
My mom and sister told us that I should stay away from Jess because she orchestrated the whole situation. They kept on hugging Yang and apologizing to her. Yang in turn also started crying and telling them that she will do better to fit in with them. It was all a big mess. I am still skeptical of my mom's change in heart, but I also want to see Yang happy. However, I think it will take a lot of time and healing before I could truly trust my mom and sister.
Currently, my mom invited us to lunch at her place next week and told me that Jess will not be there. Jess has still not message me or Yang. I really don't know what I can do in this situation. I am still upset and furious at my mom, but I also want to respect Yang's effort to keep the family together. Thanks to everyone for all the messages and supportive comments. It really helped reading them when I was feeling very sad.
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2024.05.14 07:37 LucyAriaRose AITA for telling my sister that idc about the baby she lost

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Remarkable_Treat_636. He posted in AmItheAsshole
Trigger Warnings: miscarriage; depression; addiction
Mood Spoiler: tentatively hopeful ending?
Original Post: May 6, 2024
I (20m) and my sister (23) have been very close since she lost her baby. She lost the baby at the end of 2022, when she was about 5 months pregnant. Obviously our whole family was shocked and very supportive initially. However I really tried to help her through this and get her back on her feet. Coming to her apartment to clean, and cook her food. It also doesn’t help that her baby daddy left shortly after. My sister was unable to work because of her depression, so my family would help chip in and pay her bills. She remained like this for about 7 months when my parents told her that they couldn’t no longer support her, when all she does is lay in bed (and smoke a lot, like 24/7, but they don’t know that), and that she at least needs to look for a job. She lashed out and said she needs their support now more than ever. Regardless of them, I began to solely supporting her. Mind you I still live with my parents and attending school.
That brings us to last Friday, I have about 3 semesters left of school and money has been getting tight. I told my sister that I really need to start saving, and that she needs to get a job, or just move back in. She lashed out on me, saying that I could never understand (100% true) and that I was a terrible brother for even mentioning it. I said excuse me? I’ve paying for your bills for over a year, and have been the only one trying to help her get over this. She began yelling at me and calling me terrible names. I just snapped and said idgaf about her dead baby. I did none of this for that baby. I helped her because I love my sister, I want what’s best for my sister, I want her to recover. I told her this and just she started attacking me. I just left.
The next morning my parents sat me down, and told me what I said was very wrong and rude. I explained what happened and how I still continued paying her bills after they stopped. They just were quiet, and then just left. My mother grabbed my shoulder and told me that my sister started apply for jobs.
I really feel bad, but also to a certain degree it worked and she is at least looking to work. I know my sister will forgive me eventually but I still feel bad. AITA?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: You shouldn't have said you don't care about the baby... but. But she was clearly in a hole she had no intention of climbing out of, and sometimes the only way to help people like that is to toss in a stick of dynamite and blast them out, which is precisely what you did. The question is how much did it help, and I have a feeling the answer is "not a whole lot".
ESH, especially your parents for essentially letting your sister vegetate in a pot of grief rather than get her into some kind of counseling or therapy.
OOP: Yk you bring up an off topic point. She has been in therapy since shortly after losing her baby. So I’m wondering why the therapy has had no progress and how is her therapist just fine with her like this, without offering additional help. Idk sorry
OOP clarifies in a different comment: Btw I have paid for my sister therapy (off and on) since she lost the baby. And solely after my parents cut her finically
Commenter (downvoted): Are you a child? You have to be if you think therapy is a cure all. Many folks spend the rest of their lives dealing with problems in therapy.
OOP: No, personally I don’t think therapy is for everyone. But it’s annoying thinking how I paid for her appointments to see no progress.
Commenter: Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.
OOP: Yeah but when you pay for it for a little less than a year, you’d want to see some progress. Idk I’m not mad at her, rather the waste of money I used on therapy. Regardless I’ll see her tonight and I’ll ask if she feels any improvement from the therapy
Deleted Commenter: Even if there is 1% improvement, it should be worth it. Something like this can take months or years of forever. YTA for expecting grief to be 'fixed' with your set time limit and talking about 'wasting money' when you claim you spend money out of love. You also probably ruined her progress of getting better by what you said to her.While I get that it's frustrating on your end financially, there are better ways to express that. Perhaps you might need therapy as well.
OOP: I think my tone was off. Honestly idc about the therapy or even paying for it. In my mind I rationalized the price of the therapy for the improvement of my sister. But when you see that price it just looks terrible when you don’t see improvement in over a year. I’m not mad at her or the therapist, just aggravated yk?
Commenter: I’m going to be the odd ball and say yes AH, with that being said I totally get why you snapped but as someone that has miscarried before it was the most painful thing I had ever gone through.
OOP: Hey don’t feel odd or outcast of your opinion. All the comments benefit me and help reflect.
OOP ends with:
My sister going to come for dinner, where we will fs talk about what happened. If you guys are interested in an update lmk.
OOP is voted ESH- everyone sucks here
Update Comment: May 7, 2024 (Next Day)
UPDATE
I am very thankful for all the women who shared their experiences and gave me an insight on how my sister is feeling that I would’ve never been able to have. For that I am extremely grateful.
My sister came over for dinner, we didn’t make much contact in the beginning. Our parents didn’t try to make us talk nor bring up our last argument. Dinner was very awkward with very little conversation. We finished eating and my parents left to clean the mess. Which left me and my sister, we made some small talk when I just offered to go outside to talk.
Once we were outside I immediately apologized for what I said, but she cut me off before I could finish. She said she was thankful for me and everything I have done for her. We continued to talk till it was late. She brought up how she applied for 3 jobs in our area. We ended our conversation talking about how stuff happens and sometimes you can only do anything besides pick yourself and move forward , and try not to look back. She hugged me, (no tears) said thanks and left.
I will still continue to pay her bills till she gets back on her feet. The bad blood seems to be gone. At this point I’m not sure if regret what I said, but the damage doesn’t seem impactful. I appreciate all the people who commented.
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2024.05.14 07:01 SharkEva My husband says our house will never be mine. How do I move past this?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Old_Cranberry_2783 posting in elationship_advice
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 12th May 2024
Update - 13th May 2024

My (F25) husband (M30) says our house will never be mine. How do I move past this?

Me and my husband have been married for almost one year, and have been together for 7.
I work a job in media while he works as a therapist of sorts.. we have been living in my inherited home that has been in my family for many years. Over the past few years, we have both agreed the house and the location is just not ideal. With the housing market being what it is, we have sucked it up and continued to live here.
Recently we were offered to purchase my husbands family home. It’s a good house that needs a lot of work but I am confident we can do what we need to for under $15,000 in renovations, so we are planning to move there and begin renovating!
We were both happy and excited until the other day when we were talking about it, out of nowhere he told me “I want you to know this house will never be yours. If we divorce or anything, you will have no right to live there anymore.” And I found this hurtful and odd. This was never a discussion in the years we have lived in our current home. I would never plan on taking his family home if we were to separate, but it felt like a stab to the heart especially when we are trying to have kids.. I told him “it would be a marital asset since I’m paying half the mortgage and half the renovations. I would never fight you for the house but I don’t plan on getting divorced” - this made him very upset. He said he would rather not move in if there’s a chance a judge would determine I had any rights over the home. Was I wrong? How do I move past this with him?

Comments

Ihateyou1975
So from what I understand. It’s a family home BUT you are paying on the mortgage halfsies and paying to renovate? And he said no to you having ownership at all? Then hell nah. He can purchase it on his own. Renovate it on his own. And you keep yours as a backup from this point forward. Rent it out and YOU keep that income.
OOP: This opened my eyes. We are going to definitely have another conversation about how we would go about this purchase.

ZestycloseSky8765
I really hope you don’t sell your home and make contributions to something he straight told you wasn’t yours.

Update - 1 day later

So there was a lot of questions from many people who saw my last post, so I figured I would answer some of them and also update on the situation.
My family home was inherited. There was no mortgage. We paid our bills and taxes evenly between the two of us, and same with any repairs the home needed.
His mother is selling us the house at a $25,000 discount from what she listed it for on the market.
My husband was not on the deed to my family home. This home was not going to be sold. It is a home that has been passed down exclusively to family members at virtually no cost, so a mortgage hasn’t been held on it in many decades. The house would be going to my sister as she is welcoming her second child soon!
Now for the update:
Me and my husband agreed to go to breakfast together this morning since our Mother’s Day plans didn’t start until lunch. At breakfast I brought up the topic of the house we are going to buy. I told him about how the things he said hurt my feelings and made me insecure about where he stands in our marriage.
He told me after seeing his dad lose his family home in a divorce, it was scary to think our kids could possibly lose it if we were to separate. He apologized and told me he never ever thought of getting a divorce, but nobody does until it’s happening. He said he was wrong to say the things he did and that he let anxiety control the way he spoke and it was unfair to me.
We agreed that I would be put on the deed, and agreed to start the process of a postnup agreement for the home among some other things. I addressed feeling like maybe he had a feeling he was going to leave or cheat and that’s why he was so defensive. He felt hurt by that and told me that was his fear when getting married, that he would be cheated on or worse, have kids involved in that mess. I told him I felt the same.
We both agreed the most comfortable we would feel would be us BOTH being on the deed to the home, and getting a postnuptial agreement with an infidelity clause. We are both anxious people and I understand where he was coming from with wanting that. It stung a bit at first that he wanted an infidelity clause but we agreed it would do nothing but benefit us both if either of us were to go beyond our marriage in that way.
So tldr- we are both being put on the deed, we are getting a postnuptial agreement + infidelity clause and we had a very mature and emotional conversation about how we felt. Thank you all for your advice, it gave me a very good idea of what to research before I brought it up to him and we are setting up a meeting with a lawyer to start the process on Monday!

Comments

Jack_F2291
I’m glad that everything seems to have worked out :)
OOP: Very much so! I think I was a bit dramatic about the things he said and he was a bit harsh and not thinking through what he said. It happens to the best of us but my mind is put at ease now thankfully

call-me-mama-t
I don’t think you were dramatic at all, you were protecting yourself. Good for you! Since you are newly married, this is a really great lesson for you both. Learn to communicate, turn to each other when you’re upset about something. Meaning don’t go complain about your spouse to friends, you talk to him and figure it out together. Great outcome!

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
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2024.05.14 06:55 DeadPrateRoberts Great local restaurants of the Huntsville/Madison area during my childhood in the 90s/early 2000s

I was sort of talking shit about Huntsville's food scene in the 90s in a post yesterday about the passing of Bandito Burrito's ownefounder. I initially remembered Madison/Huntsville at that time as being a place best summarized by the Wal-Mart supercenters/Food Worlds/Krogers of the world, casual sit-down chain restaurants (O'Charley's, Landry's, Red Lobster, TGI Friday's, Chili's, etc.), fast food, boxed dinners, canned/frozen/processed foods, and little fresh produce in our diets. However, upon further reflection, I think maybe I wasn't entirely accurate. We had some good-to-great, locally-owned, authentic restaurants mixed in, as well, and I'm sure some folks cooked healthily at home using lots of fresh ingredients (not my household, tho :/). These are some locally-owned restaurants my family frequented during my childhood. What am I forgetting?
Bandito Burrito
Thomas Pit BBQ
El Camino Real
Daryll's
Mr. C's
Port of Madison (special occasions ONLY)
Green Hills Grille
Edo
Jade Garden
Nolan's BBQ
Frankly Frank's
Tony's Italian Deli (original trailer park location)
Steak-Out
Tim's Cajun Kitchen
Indian place on Jordan Ln. whose name escapes me
Ol' Heidelburg (?)
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2024.05.14 06:44 balkanbhaddie what constitutes an appalachian in your opinion?

hey y’all. i got a question that i’ve been trying to find an answer to but haven’t really found a real good solid one. what constitutes an appalachian? i’m originally from taylors, sc right outside of greenville. i have the best memories of hiking at paris mountain w my family, in fact my childhood dogs ashes are spread there. i have many memories of nature and waterfalls in the mountains. my grandparents are from Weirton, WV. when i told my granddad i had picked wild blackberries for a pie, he said him and his mama used to do that. seems very appalachian lol. i now live sorta by charlotte, nc. obviously, for the sake of internet safety, im not gonna say exactly but im like 40 minutes out from the city now. im thinking about moving back closer to the mountains after college. appalachia and the mountains have my heart but is it more appropriate to just say i have appalachian roots? i don’t wish to offend no one cause im certainly not saying at all that im my granddad or someone who was truly raised in the asscrack of the mountains. i ain’t something i ain’t but appalachia has a deep meaning to me and i certainly am proud of my roots. i ask this all because i was having a conversation somewhat related to this topic and it got me thinking if it was even appropriate to consider myself appalachian. i mean, i certainly can say i have appalachian roots. coal mining family history, upstate sc, WV, and all. can’t deny that’s appalachian for sure lol! but i’d rather not offend someone who is genuinely through and through appalachian by saying i am too. i guess the main point of my post is to ask y’all’s thoughts on this one. btw…i’ll always say app-uh-latch-uh cause you know, “throw an apple at ya!” lol
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2024.05.14 06:21 bman_16 So I've recently rewatched all of the series up to present point. Here are my thoughts/rankings. Pt 5 - Season 5

So I've recently rewatched all of the series up to present point. Here are my thoughts/rankings. Pt 5 - Season 5
NOTE: All of these are just my opinion. Feel free to disagree.
Ratings:
The Bad
  • 1/10 - The Worst: Episodes that I despise
  • 2/10 - Awful: Epsiodes I hate
  • 3/10 - Bad: Episodes I think are bad
The Mediocre
  • 4/10 - Not Very Good: Episodes I don't like but have good parts in them
  • 5/10 - Alright: Episodes I think are ok/don't care much for
  • 6/10 - Decent: Episodes I like but aren't crazy about
The Good
  • 7/10 - Good: Episodes I like
  • 8/10 - Great: Episodes I really like
  • 9/10 - Amazing: Episodes I love
  • 10/10 - The Best: Episodes I adore
Episode Ranking (From best to worst):
  1. Roller Cowards - 9/10: With a premise we can all relate to from our childhood and great jokes throughout, I think this is the best episode of the season
  2. Spy Buddies - 9/10: Like 'Clams' from Season 3, this episode is a fantastic parody with all the SpongeBob absurdity you could ask for
  3. Krabs a La Mode - 8/10: This one has a great story, a nice ice aesthetic, and is both funny and creative with its concept
  4. SpongeBob VS the Patty Gadget - 8/10: The best short of the season, I like the message and the unique storytelling style
  5. The Battle of Bikini Bottom - 8/10: A really silly premise but pulled off well with great humour and gross-out that works
  6. The Krusty Plate - 8/10: A fun short full of great humour and absurdity
  7. Picture Day - 7/10: This season's biggest surprise gem
  8. Mermaid Man VS SpongeBob - 7/10: A great blend of a Plankton and a Mermaid Man episode
  9. The Donut of Shame - 7/10: In an era where Patrick was characterised as a bratish idiot, episodes like this are nice examples that all is not lost
  10. Blackened Sponge - 7/10: Another surprising gem, this episode feels very in character for SpongeBob and is quite a funny episode overall
  11. The Krusty Sponge - 7/10: A nice jab towards the show's marketing, but I feel Mr Krabs should've been punished at the end
  12. The Two Faces of Squidward - 7/10: Squidward getting a taste of 'be careful what you wish for' is a great premise and leads to a really good episode
  13. Money Talks - 7/10: This episode should've been a full eleven-minute one instead of a short
  14. To Save a Squirrel - 7/10: I like this one, though Sandy's plan is oddly complicated and confusing
  15. New Digs - 6/10: A premise like this feels very in character for SpongeBob. However, I do wish this one was funnier
  16. Slimy Dancing - 6/10: The epilogue at the end was unnecessary. Other than that, this one's fine
  17. 20,000 Patties Under the Seas - 6/10: This one has some decent jokes and a good premise, although the ending joke is kind of stupid
  18. The Inmates of Summer - 6/10: Don't find this one particularly interesting or humourous, although the play near the end is a joy
  19. Friend or Foe - 6/10: I like the lore of this one, I just don't find it particularly hilarious
  20. Pest of the West - 5/10: The cowboy premise is nice, though I feel they don't do much fun or unique with it compared to the spy stuff in 'Spy Buddies'
  21. The Original Fry Cook - 6/10: Same as 'Friend or Foe'. I like the lore, just don't find it very funny
  22. Blackjack - 5/10: I would've preferred that they had focused on the mystery aspect of the story
  23. A Flea in Her Dome - 5/10: It's ok, I just wish it was creative with its premise and had an ending that doesn't feel like it just gives up
  24. Sing a Song of Patrick - 5/10: The most mixed I've been on a SpongeBob episode
  25. Le Big Switch - 5/10: I find this episode extremely boring and unfunny
  26. Night Light - 5/10: I love the freezer scene and the creepy aesthetic during the first half, but why does it turn into a Mermaid Man episode during the second half?
  27. Stanley S. SquarePants - 5/10: I like seeing more of SpongeBob's family, though this episode feels gimmicky than fun or interesting
  28. Bucket Sweet Bucket - 5/10: Aside from the "Exposition!" joke, nothing memorable or funny happens here
  29. Good Ol' Whatshisname - 5/10: I don't find it the worst, but there's so little to say about this one
  30. Rise and Shine - 5/10: Quite an uninteresting premise for an episode but the episode is at least tolerable
  31. Banned in Bikini Bottom - 4/10: This episode is so boring I have nothing interesting to say about it
  32. Fungus Among Us - 4/10: I don't find this episode as gross as others do, but the story and characters let it down regardless
  33. To Love a Patty - 4/10: SpongeBob gets romantic with a sandwich, do I need to say anything more?
  34. Breath of Fresh Squidward - 4/10: The concept is really good, execution is not so much
  35. Pat No Pay - 4/10: Sad how two of the three Patrick shorts this season are either uninteresting or unfunny
  36. Goo Goo Gas - 4/10: This episode is mostly baby jokes and none of them are funny
  37. Boat Smarts - 4/10: It's the 'Krusty Krab Training Video' except it forgot to be consistently funny
  38. SpongeHenge - 4/10: This episode confuses me more than anything
  39. Waiting - 3/10: I've never seen an episode of any show that actively tries to prevent anything interesting from happening. At least it's a short
  40. Atlantis SquarePantis - 3/10: The show's first TV movie and hardly anything exciting or interesting happens. Not even the songs are that good
  41. Whatever Happened to SpongeBob - 2/10: If you have to make your characters uncharacteristically mean to get the story going, you're doing something wrong. This should've just stuck with the memory loss plot
Season Overall - 5/10: On one hand, the best episodes of the season are better than the best of Season 4. On the other, the worst episodes are much worse compared to what Season 4 had to offer. All in all, Season 5 is yet another season I find underwhelming overall
Tier List:
https://preview.redd.it/m0oxbps2ib0d1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=fcd9c115398e95d99b8cec9896acd8a1feb5650b
submitted by bman_16 to spongebob [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 06:01 Direct-Caterpillar77 AITAH for not cooking for my husband's friend?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Glitter_Mask
AITAH for not cooking for my husband's friend?
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: Manipulation, misogyny
Original post May 4, 2024
So I 24F got off work a bit ago. My husband 24M had some friends over playing card games for the evening and I knew that before I got home.
I came home and saw they had ordered pizza and I don't overly like that pizza brand (dominoes is nasty imo) so I said hi to everyone and started making a frozen ramen. Now my frozen ramen are from a local place and are delicious and not very cheap, but they are my favorite lazy meal.
So I was standing at the stove making my ramen and one of my husband's friends, Brian (fake name) started saying it smelt good. I replied that yes it is delicious and he should try them out sometime but they are pricey (about 16 CAD each). As it kept cooking he just kept saying things like "man that smells good" and "I'd kill for some ramen right now" and such. I just eventually told him that they run a special of buy 10 get 1 free (as I said they are fancy ramen, and very filling). He then said "Oh so you have more? Could you cook me one?"
Honestly I was put off by that. I had just worked for 8 hours and I had told him they aren't cheap.
I said "Well no, they are kind of my thing. I really recommend trying them out though". He clearly got a bit angry and had stopped their game at this point. He said "well its kind of unfair you are making one for yourself then and not making one for a guest. You should have just had pizza."
To be fair at this point my husband and the other guys stepped in and told Brian to chill out. My husband also told Brian that it was my food and I don't like the pizza.
It was pretty awkward and once my ramen was heated I took it to my desk in the other room and started typing this out. I was admittedly eavesdropping and I heard Brian leave shortly after I came to my desk.
I'm really wondering if I should have just made him a ramen because I feel the atmosphere of my husband's group might be ruined because of me.
So. AITAH for not cooking for my husband's friend?
Small update, the rest of the friends left, and husband came to talk to me. He apologized for Brian's behavior and explained that after I left, Husband asked Brian what his problem was. Brian said "whatever let's get back to the game" they all sat in discomfort for about 5 min, then Brian just got up and left. The rest of the gang finished the game, and then they went home. According to Husband, the group agreed that Brian was acting weird and rude. One of the guys volunteered to check on him tomorrow and tell him to apologize to us. So I'll update on that tomorrow, I guess. lol.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
deathtoallants
NTA. Brian should’ve written down the name of the store/brand and flavor on a memo so he could go buy it later. This might be pushing it, but at most he could’ve asked for one bite on a small plate so he can at least taste test it before committing to buying 10 portions of an expensive ramen.
I’ve never heard of frozen ramen. Wtf
OOP
The store is a ramen restaurant and they simply sell their fancy homemade ramen as frozen for a few bucks cheaper. It is just noodles, meat (spicy chicken in my case), broth, and some veggies. Honestly I could make it at home but I'm lazy lol.
But I'm really relieved to see people saying I'm nta. I was getting really into my own head as I was sitting here so that's for the judgement
Update May 5, 2024
Hi all! I was very overwhelmed with the responses to the post. I was honestly just working myself up last night and needed to vent somewhere, I didn't really expect such a response. Thank you all for judgements, it was helpful.
Anyways to the update. Sorry it took the whole day, a lot happened.
The other friend that went to check on Brian, (Sam again fake name) tried calling him in the morning and didn't get a reply. Eventually Sam went to Brian's place and asked to talk.
Sam said it basically went down as him saying,
"You were being weird as hell with ME, what was that"
"I just didn't want dominoes and you guys didn't listen to me. I just wanted other food."
Sam and my husband also say that when the group was discussing food and one of them said just get dominoes, Brian didn't say any objection.
Sam then told him along the lines of "okay well you need to apologize to Husband and I"
Brian then said "yeah I'll apologize to husband"
Most of you readers will pick up what Sam picked up on, Brian didn't want to apologize to me.
Sam told him he mostly needed to apologize to me, it was me he spoke to and me he was rude to.
Brian then told him he'll "think about it" and asked Sam to leave.
Sam then came over and told us the conversation and I started writing the update for you guys.
As I started writing Brian called husband. He was talking very rushed, and I could hear him almost a room away.
"Yeah I'm sorry for last night. I don't think I want to attend game nights at your house though. I don't get along with Me"
Husband started getting kind of heated at that point, because Brian was talking very rapidly, like in a panic almost.
The argument kind of dissolved into a lot of what the comments brought up, my husband asking him was his problem was, is he just that misogynistic, why was he acting this way and such.
Husband said that Brian didn't really make sense during the "talk", making weird comments about other significant others of the guys (some of them are gay or poly), talking about the guys not 'sharing their time', and 'they (I assume he was talking about me and other partners) always ruin the energy and I can never enjoy the time with everyone".
Husband was a bit to angry to ask more and just told him to get himself sorted out and not to come over again.
The other guys are more concerned and think Brian is having a manic episode or is getting into Andrew Tate, as Brian is the last single one of them group. My husband kind of doesn't care through and told them to not involve him in Brian's issues.
For me I kind of don't know what to make of it. I feel bad for my husband because he is very stressed after it all. This isn't his only friend group but he has known these guys for many years. I think most commenter clocked it correctly, he is misogynistic and was just angry at my existence.
I doubt there will be another update, husband wants to step away from the whole thing for now. So thank you all again and have a good night!
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
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2024.05.14 06:01 Choice_Evidence1983 AITAH for separating from my husband because he refused to get a vasectomy?

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/AdhesivenessMurky204
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH for separating from my husband because he refused to get a vasectomy?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: PTSD, mentions of abortion, domestic abuse, verbal abuse, sexual assault, rape
Original Post: April 28, 2024
My husband (28M, who I will call Jack) and I (27F) have been together for 4 years, we have 2 young children and I am pregnant again. I have been pregnant for what feels like most of our relationship. I got pregnant 4 months into our relationship. We got married a month before our daughter’s 1st birthday and ended up with a honeymoon baby. After our son was born, I talked to my OB and she put me on birth control and I have been taking it militantly.
My daughter is now 3 and my son is 2. A little over a month ago I discovered I am pregnant again, despite taking my birth control religiously. Abortion is banned in my state, and the pregnancy was discovered too far along to attempt to obtain one out of state. While Jack and I were nervous, we also love being parents and decided that 3 young kids would be a challenge, but 3 was a good number for us. Then we went in for the first ultrasound and got some unexpected news - it’s twins.
Things have been tough financially, and while we were stressed but excited for a third child, we were not expecting a third and fourth child. Beyond the finances, I am the primary caretaker and I know that twins is going to be a lot, three children under 5 is already a lot, but 4 children under 5 is going to be really really difficult for me. Physically, I am tired of being pregnant. I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding the majority of our relationship. It’s exhausting, it feels awful, and I don’t recognize my body anymore.
Four children is enough. I don’t want more. I told Jack that I was done with pregnancy, I’ve been pregnant enough, I’ve been experimenting with different types of birth control for over a decade and I still can’t stop getting pregnant, abortion isn’t a valid option where we live, we need something more permanent. He agreed, and suggested an IUD, I told him no - if it did fail then it could cause an ectopic pregnancy which could kill me, especially where we live. I’ve had both control fail me multiple times already and I’m not taking the chance, so I suggested a vasectomy. He was not open to the idea, and was even upset that I suggested it and told me I should get my tubes tied. I told him a tubal ligation is a much bigger surgery and I could be recovering for weeks during which time I wouldn’t be able to work or take care of our 4 young children, but he could ice his balls for a day or two and be done with it. He told me that not getting pregnant was ultimately my responsibility, and topped it off by saying “that’s what your body your choice means, YOUR body, so YOU choose.” That’s when it went from a discussion to a full blown fight.
See, when I was 19 I had another birth control failure with my boyfriend at the time (who I will call Tom). I wanted an abortion, Tom did not because he was opposed. I told him I was getting the abortion since it was my body and my choice, and Tom said some horrible things to me, including threatening me. I broke up with him and got the abortion. In response, Tom ended up following me one night and attacking me. I don’t want to go into detail but it was horrible, and he ended up going to prison for a number of charges related to the attack. Not only do I have a number of scars and some long lasting physical effects, but I have PTSD as well.
Jack knows about my history and diagnosis, and has known from the beginning. I have a pretty prominent facial scar so I was upfront about it early on in our dating. Jack always presented himself as very pro-choice, so I was shocked that he would say that. I got really emotional and started crying and shouting, and it turned into a full-blown fight.
Eventually I said that birth control is a two-way street and so far I’ve been the only one managing it and he said “and now we have 2 kids and 2 more coming, great job.” I told him he sounded like Tom and he got super pissed, basically said how dare you compare me to him, and maybe he might want kids one day with someone who doesn’t compare him to her felon ex-boyfriend. I was stunned and horrified. I said “well then let’s not waste any fucking time,”then packed up myself and the kids and drove to my parents place.
It’s been about a week since the fight. I’ve spoken with Jack a few times and he has since apologized and said he was out of line and was speaking from a place of anxiety after finding out about the twins, but also that I said things that were out of line and it was wrong of me to insist he undergo a medical procedure. He said that can move on from the things I said and that he wants to see his children and be a family again. I told him no, that I didn’t want to “move on” from the things he said to me. I can’t just get over that and I think we need space apart. Jack was upset by this and while we talked I brought up getting a separation agreement to manage custody and finances while we figure things out. He did not like this suggestion, said we didn’t need to pull the courts into this.
I haven’t told a lot of people about what’s happening but my family and a couple close friends. My sister and best friend both think I should throw the whole man away, but my brother (who is the only other one married with kids) thinks that I’m being extreme for what sums up to a fight between two scared people who both said nasty things. My mom is trying to be supportive but is occasionally reminding me that I “don’t want to be a single mother of 4” and telling me not to let my PTSD drive my decisions, while my dad is being completely unhelpful (he thinks jokes are helpful - like calling me Doorknob because I “can’t stop getting knocked up”, telling me to let the oven cool down, real knee-slappers). I don’t know what to do. My kids are happy to be at grandma and grandpas house but they miss their daddy, I’m 4 months pregnant and already uncomfortable as hell, I wish I could go back to being a happy little family but I’m so hung up on the things he said in that fight. Am I destroying my family over one bad night? Am I being unreasonable for asking my husband to get a vasectomy?
Edit: I've noticed a lot of people recommending condoms. I have gotten pregnant with condoms twice. Our second child and my first pregnancy were both conceived using condoms properly (correct fit, put on correctly, single use, not expired, no breaks, etc). I do not trust condoms enough to not fail a third time. I know the failure rate is supposedly small, but it's not personally small enough for me. Edit to the edit: I'm sorry, I didn't expect so many comments so fast and I can't keep up with them. By the first pregnancy I mean the pregnancy with Tom. With Jack I was on the patch when I got pregnant with our daughter, condoms with our son, and the pill with the twins. So far I haven't ever suspected that Jack has tampered with our birth control and always presumed that I'm a fertile Myrtle.
I recognize the comments and just want people to know I'm seeing the suggestion. I'm not dismissing it, but the thought of it is deeply upsetting and has provoked a lot of anxiety. I just wanted to make it clear that if the suggestion is only based on the condoms, that the condom pregnancies were with two different partners. While I know I always used condoms properly with Tom, I do believe that Tom could have been fully capable of sabotaging the condoms.
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received mixed reactions of NTAs and YTAs
Relevant Comments
deepsleepsheepmeep: NTA. Your husband is though. Your body has already been through A LOT. A tubal ligation is a serious surgery and you are right about being out of commission for a while when recovering. If he is more concerned with an imaginary future wife than he is for you, I don’t think there is much hope for this marriage.
We have 4 close friends who all got vasectomies. None of them bitched about it like your wimp of a husband. We actually had fun vasectomy themed parties for them.
On the off chance he does end up getting a vasectomy, make sure to do the follow up appointments. One of the vasectomy fab 4 did not follow through and ended up with a post-vasectomy baby.
OOP: Thank you, I feel like this is a lot of what has been so upsetting has been that he's thinking about some imaginary future wife when I'm right here, his actual wife, the mother of his children. It's like he's already imagining a future without me.
 
Update: AITAH for separating from my husband because he refused to get a vasectomy?: May 3, 2024
I didn’t expect so many comments and literally couldn’t go through them all. It seemed like the majority of people said I was NTA but I did get a lot of YTAs telling me I was trying to force him to get a medical procedure and telling me to get one instead. Besides already addressing my reasonings why I made my request in the original post (which I want you to read with real "per my last email" energy), I in no way am *forcing* him to have a medical procedure, but I am saying that I do not want to be with a partner who is not willing to be snipped. This is an issue of compatibility. The number of children you want, the methods of birth control you’re willing to use, those are issues of compatibility and a reason relationships end all the time. If he doesn’t want to be sterilized that’s fine, but then that means that we’re not compatible anymore, since it means he wants more children and I don’t. Beyond that there were some YTA comments and some DMs that were just nasty, calling me a murderer and saying my body is a cemetery. Sadly enough, I expected those types of comments, because I know there are a lot of Toms out in the world.
First I wanted to address a couple things that kept coming up, because last post turned into thousands of comments that all said about 5 different things, so to avoid my inbox becoming another echo chamber:
You’re 100% going to have a C-section anyway so just get a tubal while giving birth.
No, I’m not 100% going to have a C-section anyway. Twins are not an automatic C-section. With my birth history there is no reason to presume that a C-section is in my future. My OB agrees, and has discussed the possibility as doctors have to do but also said that based on my past two birth experiences, I'm a "perfect candidate" for vaginal delivery.
I also am not going to mince words: tubal ligations are *less* effective than vasectomies with a *much higher* likelihood of an ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancy can *kill me*. In fact I got a PM from a woman who is a fellow fertile Myrtle who had an ectopic after a tubal. I am rejecting birth control options that, if they fail, would lead to my likely death. I don’t want to be pregnant again but I also don’t want to die and leave my children motherless, and in no way should anyone assume that traveling to another state to obtain an emergency abortion will continue to be an option in the future - we live in scary times, and Gilead is a real possibility. The comments seemed to have the vibe that people think that ligations are magically more effective than vasectomies and vasectomies are more of a whisper of sterility than an actual sterilization method so for those in the back VASECTOMIES ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN TUBAL LIGATIONS, FULL STOP. So I really need y’all to shut up about it.
Go to another state and obtain an abortion anyway.
I appreciate the personal offers to help I received in DMs deeply, but no. I’m in my 2nd trimester, which I know is still legal in some places, however I am at a point in my pregnancy where I personally as an individual do not feel comfortable obtaining an abortion, considering I would be *even farther* along by the time I could travel (which is not only finances, but logistics as well). I am 16 weeks pregnant now, these babies aren’t just clusters of cells to me anymore, and I’m not going to expand on that since it’s not up for debate.
Why not adoption?
With love and respect to everyone who has gone through adoption in all its aspects, adoption is absolutely not for me. This is a thought process I already went through 8 years ago, and now that I’m a mother and not a scared teenager I know it’s even less for me. I personally could not go through with it and come out the other side intact. Going through a full pregnancy, having my babies, and then being separated from them would break me.
Leave him and give him full custody of the twins
No. Because going through a full pregnancy, having my babies, and then being separated from them would break me. Jesus, some of y’all.
Just have a sexless marriage.
No. I love banging my husband, obviously lol. I don't want to be in a sexless marriage and anyone who has been to an abstinence-only high school knows that abstinence is not the way lol. There were a lot of comments assuming I would be perfectly fine withholding sex from my husband and having na dead bedroom, and I wouldn't. I have a sex drive. I'm going to want to bang my husband. Wanting to have sex with your spouse is *normal*.
What you would do about birth control if you divorced and dated in the future?
I’m not thinking of dating anyone else right now, because I’m thinking more about saving my actual marriage instead of an imaginary relationship. And if theoretically I did, I would probably seek out a partner who was snipped or was ready to be to be honestly, or a woman. I’m bisexual so there’s a very good chance that my future partner wouldn’t have the right parts to knock me up anyway lol.
Jack is sabotaging your birth control
I clarified my methods in the original post (as per my last email), but I did want to address this because it came up a LOT. I don’t have reason to believe that Jack sabotaged my birth control. A number of other fertile Myrtles showed up and brought up they or their family members repeated pregnancies in the face of birth control, including tubals. Accusing my husband of reproductive coercion for no reason other than I keep getting pregnant is a big leap and a weighty accusation. I am not the only fertile Myrtle out there, there's a reason there's a whole term for it.
Your husband is a narcissist, abuser, psychopath, and he does no childcare
My husband and I historically have a really healthy and loving relationship outside of this fight. In fact, this fight is the first time we’ve really had a fight, we’ve only ever had little arguments that we’ve been able to talk through. He’s an active father, the reason that I do the majority of childcare is due to circumstance between maternity leaves, our job schedules and the fact that I breastfed my babies. Someone also presumed I’m the breadwinner, which isn’t quite true. Jack makes more than me, but we do not have deeply significant differences in our incomes. When he is home he does his fair share of cleaning and cooking (arguably more than me at times), and parenting. That being said, the things he said in the heat of the moment were deeply concerning, and we’re addressing that together.
So to get down to the nitty gritty of the real update: since the last time I posted, Jack and I have sat down together and had a real come to Jesus talk. I’m not going to go through the whole breakdown, but it basically boiled down to this: it’s the vasectomy, but it’s more than the vasectomy. It was wrong of me to compare him to Tom but it was wronger of him to weaponize my trauma against me in a very malicious way. The way he intentionally used the same language my abuser used in an effort to hurt me was not acceptable and damaged the trust between us. He agreed it was not acceptable and said that in the aftermath he was horrified and ashamed his own words, and that he (as an explanation and not an excuse) kind of snapped under the stress. Oh and what he said about his “next wife” was not an indication of him not being committed to me but was because he felt hurt and wanted to hurt me back. He has apologized numerous times and seems to feel genuinely bad about it.
As for the separation, I am still going forward with it. I need space and time and I need to take that before the babies come. I am still staying with my parents who, for the record, are not sick of me or the kids. We’re a tight knit family, I only moved out when I moved in with Jack, and my sister moved out about a year ago so they have been empty nesting, and my mom doesn’t like that we live “too far” (an hour) away. What I have realized with space and time is how deeply triggering it was, in a way that I cannot explain to those without PTSD from DV, those who know will know. It’s deeply unsettled me and I’m having a hard time “getting over it” so to speak. There is now a lot of fear of my husband that was never there before and it’s going to take a lot to repair that trust and sense of safety. I cannot make a decision while I’m in this space, and I am addressing this with my personal therapist. Overall, I told him that if he wanted to stay married to me I needed two things from him: marriage counseling and a vasectomy, and even then I still cannot guarantee him anything. He understands, but I do not know what will happen with the vasectomy right now, we focused more on talking about the fight, but he is very aware that it's now a dealbreaker. And we have a marriage counseling appointment set up for next week. I'm hoping that counseling will bring some clarity to the situation, and in the mean time for the next couple months I'm focusing on giving my kids lots of cuddles and preparing myself for two new babies to come into my world, with or without Jack.
Additional information from OOP on her relationships
OOP: I've been through a trial to convict my ex-boyfriend of trying to kill me because of an abortion in a deep red, deeply religious area. I've definitely heard worse things, and I typically have pretty thick skin. That being said, I am pregnant and pretty emotional, so it's not the best experience. That being said, I do appreciate the level-headed comments when I see them through the sea of comments kind of saying the same stuff over and over. I'm not reading a lot of them if what I can see in the comment notification starts off nasty, so a lot of it is just inbox white noise. My favorites are the ones that start off with "I'm not going to read that BUT..." and I just think lol same. Like you don't want to read my post but expect me to read your comment that was made without even reading the situation? lol nope. And there are a lot of people conflating "providing someone with a hard choice" with "forcing someone into a medical procedure" and it just makes wading through for the actually helpful comments more tiring. Thank you though, I very much appreciate the kindness. Sorry, I've gotten so much of the same nonsense I guess I needed a little vent lol.
OOP on wanting her husband to make a decision and be on the same page
OOP: I want to be honest with him about where I am emotionally because I want him to make an informed decision. While the vasectomy is a deal breaker, it's really my secondary concern. My primary concern is the way he acted during the fight and his intention exploitation of my trauma because he was mad and scared. I think that telling him "get the snip to stay with me" and then deciding to leave anyway because there are deeper issues and/or I don't feel safe anymore would be cruel. He deserves to have the full picture before he makes a choice, doesn't he?
If he doesn't want the vasectomy, that's his choice. It's not what I want, but it is what it is. If he wants to call it quits at 4 kids, then it is what it is and if he secretly wants to be the next Nick Cannon then it is what it is he should be free to do that. That is part of why I don't know where he is on the vasectomy right now and we didn't really discuss it much when we talked, I'm focusing on discussing the bigger issue for me which is trust and safety within the relationship. The only way for him to make an informed decision about whether or not he get a vasectomy is for him to have all the information about the situation. If that makes him want a vasectomy less, then it is what it is. It's not about making him want to have a vasectomy. It's about being on the same page.
 

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