Things to say that will make him smile

My girlfriend and I (22 and 24, respectively) have been dating for almost two years now and I am preparing to pop the question to her later this year, as I know she is the one for me and I love her. She’s currently in school a few hours away and so as a result isn’t in the area to spend time with my family as much. My parents are not onboard with me proposing yet; they say we should wait another two years to get to know each other better and for them to get to know her better, despite the fact that she visited the house almost every day last summer and attempted to build relationships with them. The thing is, she and I have been dating for almost two years, and have spent an immense amount of time of that together, despite the long distance aspect. We have worked through many roadblocks and navigated various things to the point where I am confident in our ability to go through whatever life throws at us together. I am at the point where I am ready to make the commitment to marry her (I.e. engagement) and she is ready too, as well as her family, all of whom I have spent lots of time with and am well integrated with. But as mentioned, my parents, along with my siblings (all younger but most 18+) are all still hesitant to be in full support, and have not treated her the best when she has visited. Should I go forward with the proposal (planned for August), even without their approval? I live at home still as I am a graduate student (1 year left) so I feel it could sour family relations here and make things potentially more volatile.

I feel so stupid but I have literal meltdowns when I lose things. Like material items
Right now I’m triggered because I remembered a bag of things I left at a sexual partners house I begged him to please not throw it out he has a habit of just tossing things when he gets in his feelings or upset he was telling me and reassuring me the things were safe. There was maybe 100-200$ worth of stuff in there nothing major. But he ended up doing what I feared and now I’m literally in tears because I don’t don’t remember exactly what was in there. I’ve tried to write down as much as I can remember but there will be items that I won’t ever remember were in there. I don’t have a great memory.
And I’m crying because it gives me unbearable anxiety what if something important was in there? What if there’s something someone who died gave me and I’ll never find it cause it was in there?
I know they were just things and reason says I should just make peace with it but I can’t I feel so stressed out. I’ll never know and it literally makes me cry and hurt inside.
I’m almost 30 for fucks sake why am I crying over toys.

I've been having a rough time for a while now. Recently my mom and I were evicted after a 2 year long battle against our landlord. We've lived in that apartment for 7 years, and we packed it all away in a couple days.
Eight months ago I broke up with my partner of three years. The break up was messy. I was very manic during that time bc of my medication and weed usage. It ended in us saying terrible things to each other. We met up a month ago and a week after that. He said he had had a good time and how he'd see me soon.
Other than that, nothing has been going on in my life. My mom and I have a complicated relationship. We've reached an understanding in recent years but she was a very busy unavailable parent. I was abused a lot by her and other family members.
My sibling and I (she's one year older than me,) share a similar relationship with one another. She was a terrible sibling and abused me a lot too.
My mom and I are at an extended stay hotel. I have no money. All I do is lay down all day. I've lost many of my passions and interest. I used to be an artist with hopes of becoming a video game designer. Ever since the break up and the months leading up to it, life has been surreal.
I just don't know who I am.
My mom talks down to me and often takes a pratical approch to dealing with my problems. It makes me feel small. When I forget things she wants me to do she attacks my age, my lack of responsiblitiy, how much she works. I just want my old life back with my ex.
When we saw eachother after all that time apart, I felt so strange. It felt like I had a reason to get up and leave the house.
I don't have that in any other aspect of my life.
I feel to guilty about my mom paying for everything. She even gives me spending money depsite us not being finacially in the best place.
When I don't take care of myself she gets really upset, its always been that way. She never sees it though. She thinks shes being reasonable despite shouting, shaking, getting in a threating range. She just wants to help me in a way that'll work. It doesn't though.
I feel like a bum and I'm very lonely. I don't know what to do.
My mom and I got into an argument an hour ago outside the hotel. She started berating me about my age, how I did nothing she asked of me for the day (I did all but one), how she works and goes to college and..., I just checked out. I'm never confrontational, yet historically thats when my family usually gets the most upset/ starts hitting.
She thinks everything is disrespect. Theres no winning.
I have a job lined up. They're a new bakery that was hiring. They told me I'd start a month ago but the open date keeps getting pushed back.
Everyday I feel pointless, and theres my mom reminding me.
I wish I had some friends.

Hey all, I just wanted some insight of what I should do. About 1 week ago me (27m) and my now ex (28f) broke up. We only dated for a hot minute, 1 month. We were in constant contact daily (she wanted me to keep intouch especially if I was at work). And everyother day we were together in person. We met through work I'm a firefighter, she's in law enforcement. When we were together she'd tell me things that she's said she had either never opened up about. But how easy it was to open up with me. Everything was going great. She liked my no bs about the future. We agreed what both of our intentions were LTR with marriage and kids etc. Like I said, all was going great.
One day she wanted me to meet her best friend (30f). I agreed, we went to the best friends house together. The friend had a kid that kept going around hitting the women (8m) and I stopped him. Basically saying that behavior isn't tolerated and I'm not going to allow it. I then told him to apologize, which he did. All else was going well. By my 3rd drink I said it was going to be my last one. But I seen my gf and her friend opened another bottle of wine so I had another 2 beers. Later in the night my gf told me she wanted to spend the night so she could watch her best friends son soccer game in the am. It's not what I wanted, but thinking all was well I went along with it. We kissed, I left.
After I got home I texted her saying I had a good time and enjoyed her company. I also apologized if she felt like I shouldn't of driven because I drank 2 more beers 5 total in 5 hours than I said I would. She said she had a good time too and enjoyed my company. She ignored the part that I mentioned about alcohol.
Fast forward, next day. I'm at work, she's more cold and distant. It takes her significantly longer to get back to me than normal. And she doesn't want to talk about yesterday. Eventually I get super anxious feeling something is off and message her saying "I know something is bothering you, we've had conversations in the past and both agreed that if this is the case we would hash it out so we don't hold it against one another. So we can either communicate like adults like we've agreed. Or throw in the towel (figure of speech)."
She ended up replying immediately saying that I immediately went to "throwing in the towel " and how I must not care about her or our relationship. So being what I said she wanted to break up, because screw me.
Me regretting my choice of words tried to backtrack saying that's not what I meant. She said I was right something is bothering her from last night but she didn't want to have this conversation with me being that I'm at work. And hoped I would do the same if she was because she has a gun on her hip.
She said she noticed two things yesterday she didn't like. 1. I talked to much about work. 2. Drinking more than I said I would (this bothered her because of her past of getting a dui). She then said because of those two things she didn't want a relationship anymore with me. Because "That's your personality, and I don't want you to change because of me. I want you to change because of you". I said I'd change because I wanted too. She wouldn't listen. She said she was too mad at me to continue our relationship and that we're done.
Later that day I reached out, she agreed to let this go. But was still being cold and distant, less available. Canceling all of our future plans and having excuses.
So, I reached out again telling her how much I like her and how I absolutely adore and & love her (I've said this in the past and she said she feels the exact same way. Just feels too soon to say it back).
She then says she needs space, isn't ready for a relationship, that someone like me hurt her before. That we're on separate paths right now and she doesn't want me anymore. She ended the conversation saying we'll talk about this at a later date. But she wants time to focus on herself.
The next day I noticed she recorded or FaceTimed my snap story and then unfriended me on snap.
We've been on NC for the last week. I genuinely do want her back. I don't know what I should do, or say. Or if I should at all.. It hurts and sucks. Looking for what you all think of this. What I should of done differently. Thank you for your time!
tdlr relationship ended after a poor choice of words

I love my partner, but sometimes he says or does things around me I don’t like, and I don’t know how to express myself without being offensive. Can you help me?
Here are some examples:
We were walking on a public trail when he loudly turned music on his phone. I joked “oh you’re gonna be “that guy” who listens to loud music?” He took offense. However I feel like if I said “I feel uncomfortable listening to loud music in public” he might have also took offense. Would that have been better or is there another way?
He was driving 15 miles over the speed limit on a main road and had to abruptly brake when we hit traffic just over a hill. And I exclaimed why is it necessary to go so fast!? I don’t enjoy it. And he said he doesn’t like me commenting on his driving and said he’s a safe driver and likes to go fast sometimes. In general he goes faster and has a fast sports car, while I tend to stick to the speed limit in my SUV. Do I just not drive with him anymore or be quiet or should he drive the speed limit when I’m in the car, or is there a better way I can tell him not to go fast when I’m in the car?
TLDR: My partner does or says things sometimes that I don’t like and I don’t know how to say I don’t like it without coming across as offensive.

I’ve always been different as a kid. I was heavier than most of the kids and I was loud and always talking and cheerful. Which you would think sounds great! But the kids still didn’t like me that much. As I got older as happens to most girls who grew up being unpopular in school, puberty hit me in a different way. I was kind of in my rebellious era and I used to watch anime a lot and just was overall really cringey.
Most of my old friend group turned out to be whack-a-mole and most of them turnt to drugs and their lives were going downhill and so I decided to make a change. Since I was a severely depressed girl who had undiagnosed OCD and was desperate for friendships because it seemed like no one ever wanted to be my friend or stay my friend because I was “too much”. No guys ever wanted to date me either. So I changed everything. My black hair I dyed when I was in what everyone called my “EMO phase” went back to my natural color, blonde, I started dressing more to the trends, started making new friends because I had got some of my old personality back, and started wearing natural makeup, and I stopped watching anime because it was “weird” to like it I guess?
Anyway. Things got better, but I also still always felt like I wasn’t really me. Some boys started paying attention to me, but none I liked. So my old bad eating habits came out and I was trying anything I could do to be “normal” a basic teenage girl. But now, as I just been in a whole friend group argument, leaving me wondering what half of my friends are going to do. I wonder why I changed some of my ways. Because even though I did, people still joke and treat me like that “weird girl” from high school. Like, why did I change my personality? Why am I always drinking? Why am I seeking so hard for validation? Why did I stop doing the things I like? I don’t know if I’m like having a midlife crisis at 18 years old but I don’t know how to deal with it. I just want to do some of the things I used to like but I’m scared people will think I’m weird again. I just want to talk to new people online because I need an escape from the real world and I was thinking about downloading discord (I know, I’m desperate) just because I want to talk to somebody who knows nothing about my past, where I can make myself seem like this great awesome person.
Basically what I’m trying to say is, should I start trying to make other friends online? Should I start doing the things I like even if it might risk my social status? I know this may sound stupid but I’m literally just a girl LMAO. Thanks, if you even read this.

i really really do want to die but i just can’t and i don’t know why. i fucking hate my father, he says he’s gonna kill himself but he never does. he fucking hates me and hates himself so why stay? i really want to beat him to the punch. if he’s too pussy to die then i will, but apparently im too scared to. i just need a break from this life- to be anywhere and anyone else. whether that be dead or alive. if i had his gun then i would’ve been gone already.

I’ve been with my guy for years and we’ve always been such a strong match. We’ve worked through troubling times and have been there for each other for over 8 years. I truly can’t see myself with anyone else. I would like to soon move in together and share living expenses. I’m currently in graduate school and will work 40+ unpaid hours in my externship within the next year. Therefore, it is more than likely that we will not be able to comfortably afford a place. We both have a good chunk of student loans to pay off. He currently pays all of his living expenses but still lives with his family. And that’s ok for the time being.
But, it’s been almost a year since he’s graduated from undergrad with a degree. He still is working a part time job (25 hrs/week) that does not use his degree and does not make enough for us to live on our own. He has applied to many places with his degree, but has not yet had any luck landing an interview/job. This has been hard for me. I worry about our future and want us to have a life together. How should I proceed? He is extremely intelligent and also very introverted. He sometimes has a challenge putting himself out there. I want to support him as much as possible but i do feel that his lack of using his degree has generated some strain on our relationship. He feels that i view him as not enough or that he is lazy. It’s hard for me to communicate with him that i worry about our future. His family is also hard on him many times about him not using his degree.
I don’t want to come off brash, but sometimes i feel like we are not on the same page. I’m unsure what to do. We’re still young and have time to figure things out, but i tend to over analyze and stress. I think this sometimes rubs off on him. I don’t want to make him resent me. We recently got engaged and I’m thrilled to get our life going together. I need help figuring out how we can “meet in the middle” and be together on the same page.

You look around until you see a small animal looking at you. It looks like a cross between a lion and a unicorn. It's a bit smaller than a standard house cat. So small, you're not even afraid of it. It's actually cute. Looks like a pokemon.
"Yeah, you. Come here." Her voice is friendly and childlike. You walk over to her and ask what she wants. She tells you that her name is Phoebe, she's a demon, and that she will grant you wishes if you feed her.
You ask her what she wants. She asks for a house cat with a broken neck. You protest, but she tells you the reward will be worth it. Reluctantly, you accept.
Your neighbor's cat is always pooping on your property. You stepped in cat poop this morning. You catch the little bugger, but you let it go. You're not a killer.
Unfortunately, while running away from you, the cat gets hit by a car, is flung a good 50 feet, and is then struck by another car coming from the opposite direction.
Phoebe happily trots over and starts devouring what's left of the poor kitty. You ask about your reward, and she asks you what you want. You ask for a million dollars, but she only gives you $10,000, saying you "didn't do it right."
The money instantly appears in your bank account and you go on a shopping spree. The next day, you wake to Phoebe standing in your windowsill. She's a little bigger now. About the size of a small dog.
She asks you to bring her a dog with all its legs cut off. You're sickened by the request, but given the reward earlier, you consider it. You ask her if it can be a stray. She says it has to be a pet, saying that she "doesn't eat worthless meat."
With your stomach turning, you oblige. After the deed is done, you ask for ten million dollars out of sheer frustration. To your surprise, she gives you 20 million because she says she "likes how eager you were to accomplish your task."
You immediately purchase a large home, a nice car, and some new clothes to replace your blood soaked ones. You have a nightmare that night about what you did to that dog, but it's interrupted by Phoebe.
She's now about the size of a medium sized dog. She asks you to bring her a human finger. You couldn't possibly do that. You offer one of your own, but she refuses, saying that you're "worth so much more whole."
Once again, you reluctantly agree. You find a sleeping homeless man and, using a cigar clipper, quickly snip off his pinky finger. The man screams in pain as you run off with the severed digit.
In your haste to get away, you run right in front of a dump truck and get wrapped around the tires. You die instantly with your guts on display for all to see. That is, until Phoebe comes by, accepts her gift, and puts you back together like humpty dumpty.
You ask for a hundred million dollars, but she refuses, saying that you being resurrected was your reward as she "thought that's what you would have wanted."
You're angry, but there isn't anything you can do, so you just go home. The next day, Phoebe wakes you again. She's the size of a black bear. She asks you for a severed human head.
This time, you put your foot down. No way in hell you're going that far. Even with Phoebe's promises of a worthwhile reward, you stand your ground. You're not killing anyone.
Disappointed, Phoebe takes a few steps forward, getting uncomfortably close. "Well, I guess I'll just have to find something else to eat, hmm?" she says, looking you dead in the eyes.
Your heart drops and you start to shake. You should have known you'd get burned playing with fire. "Wait!" you shout. You agree to get her a severed head, but you don't even believe yourself.
Phoebe pauses for a moment. "Okie dokie, then. See ya soon," she says as she trots off. You leave the house, but don't even make it off the porch. You're frozen in fear. You still haven't stopped shaking.
You look to your right. Phoebe's standing on your roof, staring directly at you. You walk to your car and drive off.
What now? Do you try to run and hide? Perhaps you're in too deep and you'll just comply? Or maybe you're feeling daring and will try to kill Phoebe?
What will you do?

I’m new to wood working but I’m blue collar so I have tools. My mom lost 2 kids before my brother sister and myself, had a very hard life but her entire world is her kids. It’s all she cares about and makes her happy. I Want to build a like shrine type like with a picture of myself , brother , sister , her mom , her dad , and my two baby brothers that passed away. I want her favorite picture of each person maybe with a Bible verse under it. The kicker is at the base of the frame with all 7 of her favorite pictures I want her favorite item of each of us. For example the teddy bear my little brother brought to every one of his cancer appointments all at the base of the photo board. I’ve never done any woodworking but I’m blue collar and will spend whatever money I need for materials and tools. I’m also not artsy at all but my mom has saved me from suicide twice in my life and she’s had the hardest life and I want to put a huge smile on her face for her birthday. I guess I’m posting this for help or advice from experienced woodworkers who can lead me in the right direction in tools , materials , coatings , epoxy , and mainly design because I’m not artsy. A concept or a template to follow or what you think.
If you made it through this thank you very much and I love you guys. Any tips or advice would help.

I genuinely need some kind of advice from anyone about what I can do or anything when it comes to my faith in God.
For context I’ve been a Christian ever since I was a kid. There were other times where I struggled with faith but managed to get through it. But now it’s worse than ever to be honest.
As some examples, I’ve been praying to God almost every day for him to change something in my life or give me a nice Christian friend who has some things in common with me. The reason I pray for these two things almost every day is because it’s what I want and as well they’re things I really need in my life to be honest, things I struggle with or haven’t had in a very long time. I don’t see why it’s wrong to be praying for these kinds of things.
But it’s like no matter what I do or how many times I pray none of it has happened, it’s been almost a year now. It’s causing me to lose the most of my faith because I feel like he isn’t listening to me or that he just doesn’t care for some reason, I don’t know why but it just makes me sad and feel like he doesn’t want anything good for me.
The other thing is I’ve been getting this really terrible temptations to turn to other things, which I don’t actually want to, but the temptation is there and I think it’s mainly because as I said I feel like he’s just not there for me at all, but either way I don’t like it because it’s not how I want to live the only issue is it’s really hard to resist and I pray to God he would help me with it but nothing improves. I know it says in the Bible that “you aren’t tempted anything you can’t handle” basically, but idk… also, I’ve had a hard experience with some mental health struggles which caused me a lot of doubt in God too.
I don’t know if maybe I’m praying wrong or asking for the wrong things, or if maybe my faith is just somehow too weak to make any actual difference..
I just in general feel like he isn’t there for me and it makes me sad and disappointed, and kind of depressed because of course I want him to be there and actually help me with the things I struggle with for once. It’s caused me to lose so much faith in him and it’s barely hanging on by a thread every day to be honest. Any advice or words would be helpful. Thanks.

Somewhere deep in the city, in a dark tavern lit by only a few torches, hums in a bored drone as a drunken pirate spits out an intelligible tale of them escaping a foreign armada, lacking even the eloquence of a toddler as he yammered on through his rotten teeth.
A sudden thud cut his voice, a dagger slammed onto the table, a hooded figure suddenly emerged from the corner, a very curt.
“Quiet.”
The pirate raised a brow, asking the mysterious man if he had anything better to say.
“You want a story? I’ll tell you the very reason that this city stands, why we’re all even alive, and the group of heroes who did that.”
Riches. Glory. Power. It didn’t matter what called us to arms, only that we answered.
Love Fantasy? Love World building? Love a bit of Romance?
I wanna combine all of these things to make a great story, a group of heroes going on a grand journey to save the world, their friends, and those that are a bit more
I love adding side characters and villians, as well as more temporary people/factions, when I combine the two things I most think of fantasy; adventuring parties with some sort of cliche but still fun adventures to save people and fight monsters, the whole 9 yards

I got into UMD for their MSCS with thesis for Fall 2024, but I did really poorly in a required CS class for my degree and it's looking like I won't actually be able to graduate with my BACS this semester, but it also happens that I have another major and will be graduating with a BA in English. I've been looking through the letter, and it says acceptance conditional on submission of final transcript and qualifying degree. The admissions page itself does not say I need a BACS, but gives some suggested coursework that students should complete. I have completed all of these courses, and this required course is not on the list. I know that I should email/call the admissions office too, but I just want to make sure that I'm not asking a completely obvious question.

For context, I'm 17 and autistic, my mom and dad divorced when I was in about first grade, and my dad found a new girlfriend in second grade. I've always had indifferent feelings towards her because she would always make comments about my mom saying things like how she didn't have a real job, she was a subsitute teacher, and more recently she stated how she's always not really liked her because she would still have my dad buy me toiletries. Some of her exact words being she hates poor people because they just let the government pay for all their stuff while she has to work hard to make a lot of money for the family.
It's always been a struggle because how I was raised there was always drama and fighting everywhere I guess I sort of developed a more antisocial attitude more around just my dad and step mom. And my step mom really hates this about me because she doesn't feel appreiciated for how much she does for me. Which I will admit I am wrong for this on some level, but growing up my sister and mom have always never had a properly good opinion of her and I guess it sort of rubbed off on me. Top it off with her hot headed emotional attitude and need to always be right, it's never been something that's made me feel comfortable to be more open. Especially when just up until a few months ago there was so much fighting between her and my dad, which she said was mainly about us, my little sister and me.
My mom currently is unemployed as she takes care of her new kid (who's about to go to school) with my step dad, and about 3 weeks ago my mom bassically stated how she didn't want to pay for anything for me (in reference to things like band fees for school, not basic living stuff). I wasn't able to hear the whole conversation my mom and dad had but that's the ghist of what was said. This furiously angered my step mom because she's the one who helps my dad take care of me (money wise and her time). Since that happened she's started making snarky comments about my mom specifcally mentioning how she doesn't pay the bills and doesn't want to take care of me. And about yesterday it got too much to handle and I told my mom all the things she had been saying about her, she called my dad and had a civil discussion with him about these comments. After they hung up I went into my room because I know something was about to go down. Not just a few minutes later she stormed into my room yelling trying to settle her points, and I started going into a panic attack while my dad tried to comfort me and calm down her rage. After this she yelled some more obscene things about my mom calling her worthless and drove off to her friends house.
After this, I got calmed down and chatted with my dad for a little. After about maybe a few hours she came back more calm and we all chatted about things that were wrong. Most of it was all the stuff I just talked about, me being not appreciative and my mom not wanting to help pay for things. I'm just scared of what's going to happen I don't want to be in this situation I can't help but know I put myself in. There's too much hate and negativaty and I just want it all to go away.
TL:DR Step mom angry because I don't show I'm appreciative of all the money she spends on me and all the time she's put into doing stuff for me. While the whole time I've known her she's hated my real mom for being poor and not working as hard as her. Huge arguments and fights are happening and I don't want to be in this mess I may have started.

One of the first things when you learn to invest is to be really careful, especially when you are short selling. There is the potential of infinite losses. This is a fundamental principle, yet some big hedge funds are acting like the rules and common sense do not apply to them.
They feel overconfident, having the support of the banks and thinking that they have superior insight and control of the software systems that move the market. They also seem to believe they can manipulate them without consequences, seeing as their movements and accounts are barely supervised and regulated. So overconfident, that they've already lost a gamble, trying to take advantage of the pandemic while short selling companies like AMC and GME. Taking for granted that the individual investors - the people - wouldn't be able to see what they are doing.
Do not underestimate the people. We are getting used to surviving at least one pandemic every century, we have built the pyramids and also expressed our anger as in the French revolution. This time, the individual investors, without any organization, are at their own risk, risking the food for their families and the shelter of their rented apartments, are investing in our future, the people's future… Back in 2008 the big banks were playing dangerous games with the real estate market and their mistakes destroyed a lot of jobs, putting our people in the street. Some of us even lost loved ones because they felt that the society they lived in no longer had a place for them anymore.
Now we are saying to the big hedge funds: You don’t know how to invest the money healthily, each one of us can do it better.
They control many mainstream media sources and have a multitude of tricks at their disposal, creating unnecessary complexity and delaying the final outcome. However, we are still here enduring and reaching the final question that needs an official answer:
Is the United States market - the biggest market of the world and the key reference point for global markets - free and healthy or undermined and manipulated?
Meme stocks... We are not going to disappear in two weeks, we are making history. This is not investment advice, this is a change of rules call, a health check to the market, a well needed wealth redistribution. We have the possibility to send a message to the system: in the current world the people are aware.
We are all distracted with our complex and busy lives. So if this message catches you at the right moment and you want to be part of this movement, join The Apes in Reddit. That adds another pair of eyes to catch the next trick that they have prepared for us.
We will hold, my friend, until they run out of tricks, until the 🌑

Okay, fourth rewrite, I'm making this in hopes that their is someone who can help me in some way. Maybe someone knows the answer to it all and can guide me, though unlikely. I'll just list out all my issues in seperate paragraphs and hopefully their is just someone out their to help, if you can help me just please do, I really need help or at least someone and you reading this and giving me advice would truly mean a lot to me. Anyways
I feel stupid: I honestly feel braindead, I hate my mind so much. Sometimes it's hard to think or do, sometimes I can't think or do. My mind is so numb, everything about my mind just feels wrong and dead. My mind has felt dead for a year or two now and I just wish it was alive, I want my mind to be normol, I want it to actually work. I also want confidence in my mind, any failure or lack of underatanding makes me defeated and feeling like a dunce. Anything I can do I say was just luck or something anyone should know. I don't know if I'm stupid or not but dam I feel like I am the dumbest in a room. I would give it all to be intelliegent, I wish I was smart, well read, well informed, well versed. I so desperately want to know, so desperately want to be smart. I wish I could understand stuff. I just want to be smart and have a bright alive mind, but my mind is so dead and desolate and compared to the rest worthless. I hit myself in my head whenever I'm mistaken or just feel so stupid, and I honestly deserve it. If I were to kill myself my mind being numb and stupid would be the reason or a big reason why, I just want to be smart. You can likely tell just how much of an idiot I am by reading this via grammer, spelling, complaints. That "likely" was meant to be "probaboly" but I'm just stupid and worthless to spell. If there was just a way to be smart and not such a moron, I fucking hate my life.
I have body issues: I without doubt have body issues, the biggest of which is my weight. As of now I am 5,9 (1.7M) and 211lbs (95.7KG), I was 246lbs (111kg) to begin with and it was also my heaviest. Despite losing a good amount of weight I am not happy and have no pride, I'm still fat and thats all I see sadly. I don't want to be fat or skinny, I want to be muscular:big arms, built chest, flat stomach, no abs (don't like them) that sounds appealing, it's what I want. Unfourtunely I as of now can't work to this goal, I don't have money for a gym or equipment, famliy funds can't do it ethier and awhile ago I turned down a weight bench since I wasn't confident, now I regret that choice. I hate being fat so much, and this deep hatred and desperation has led to a embarassing cycle, for two years now I have been downloading images of muscular bodies. They're all drawings or from videogames since I'm to embarresed to have real images and as mentioned it's a cycle, Download and store -> have them and look at them for awhile -> get ashamed of myself -> purge it all -> regret -> repeat. Like stated this has been going for two years and as of now I have ten different images. Apart from weight I also have some other physical insecurites, acne being a big one. I been suffering from acne for years, fifth grade, early sixth grade is when it started so five years of this. It mostly effects my chin and cheeks badly but also effects more of my face, sometimes the acne hurts and it often even bleeds. I hate touching my face and feeling grime and ripping off a bunch of skin and dried shit. I wash every night and try to be frequent with morning witch-hazel but it dosen't relent. I also hate it when it gets mentioned, it is irratating to be reminded and noticed and nobody points it out more then my own mom who also cliams it would go if I just washed. I do, I fucking do! It's not working and you don't understand that! I also have body acne I don't know how to fix, I like sleeping shirtless which I know is the reason, also inconsistent with bedding which isn't right. Even if I did wash sheets weekly it wouldn't be enough, I would still get acne on my body. I just want to sleep shirtless and not get acne, I wish I could find a way. Another insecurite but not really is my height, I don't mind being 5'9/5'10 I mean it's about average height and I beat out my 5'4 father. But I'm sixteen which mean I still have possibilty to get taller and I wonder, will I? If I do, just how tall? Could I reach 6'0+? All of this speculation makes me a bit insecure, also with being fat I look short and round in the mirror which is defeating. I'm secure besides speculation and weight but at the same time I truly want to be taller, I think any man tall or short wishes they were taller, I wish I could break 6'0 that would be cool (to me). But I don't think that will ever happen, my dad is 5'4, my mom is 5'6 I made it 5'9/5'10 and my chart is stagnating, should just stop thinking I'll get taller. Another phsyical insecurite and likely the last one I'll mention unless I think of another worthwhile one is my hair, I'm insecurie of my hairstyle. Or lack of hairstyle, my mom says I have independence in this choice but whenever I make a choice she complains about it. Any agreement is one sided or changed up a little so she likes it. I have always hated my hairstyles over the years, even now and as of now it's ethier her way or a unorgainzied thick mess that will soon be her way. I hate it, wish I could make my own "independent" choice, even if I could my mom would likely hate it and always bring it up which is something I don't want to deal with. My mom is more for short cuts and fades etc, I hate fades and while I do admire short hair have always taken liking to shagger and longer styles, more rugged style. I have also always liked long hair and even wanted it. I used to openly want long hair for a long time but my mom opposed, I tried to convince her but she was opposed. She wasn't only opposed to it she made sure to express that it was gay and feminine etc, etc. She made me close off and forgot the desire but even now she won't let go. She is so sure to tell everyone: famliy, her friends, the hairdresser, hell maybe even strangers, she tells everyone about how much I wanted it and what she thought of it etc. Often I have been embarresed like this while I was right there, I have expressed that this embarreses me and want it to stop mutiple times yet she'll continue almost as if it's purposeful, she will also bring up an old friend T who had long hair as an example of it looking bad. But he didn't take care of it or do anything, most he would do is give into his moms begging and have her brush it. If I had long hair I would actually take care of it and do stuff to it! She also claims I got the idea from him, but no I liked it since elementary being inspired by personal inkling and rock. I no longer want hair but am starting to find styles I really like, but first I need to get my mom to fuck off. And second I would want to grow a beard, which is another issue of mine. I'm sixteen I shouldn't expect a full beard but I have seen peers with actual good facial hair, patchy beards, five o'clocks, some actually have a beard. Then there is me, with some sideburns and a bunch of peachfuzz, I want to be able to grow a beard and the peachfuzz plus sideburns bother me, I want it to actually devlop, I want a beard. I am also worried about devlopment, worried acne will hurt or even stop growth. I'm upset about my lack of growth though I definetly have unrealistic expectations. Lastly with hair is my chest hair, I'm quite hairy and I like it. And I have chest hair but barely and I just wish I had more over a greater coverage, more of a funny insecurite, lol. One more insecurity I forgot about is my voice. I'm loud when talking and my voice isn't as deep as I wish so that sucks.
(copy and paste from older write) I wish I had a father: I don't have a father or any form of father figure, I'm fatherless and it hurts a lot. My father has been out of my life since I was elevenish/twelveish (the peak of covid passed), we kicked him out because he is and was a meth addict in and out of the jail. He was a fuctioning addict so not violent and not as obvious of an addict but the meth still took him over. My mother says she kept him around and gave him so many chances because she wanted him to be in my life as a father. But he was no father when he was around, he didn't parent me, he didn't play his role as a father and guide as a masculine role model, hell he likely didn't even truly care for me. My only memories of him really are going to McDonold's with him, after which he dumpster dived behind the plaza as I begged for us to go back home. Or me wanting to bond with him so he sets up the brilliant idea of dragging me around with his skechy friends, to skechy places, even at skechy times. I don't understand why I knew sooner, guess I was a stupid basterd but I started picking up that my dad was a bad person around fifth grade. By then I quickly found out more and more and tenstion was growing, by eleven we we're going to kick him out but covid struck it's height and our household seemed palpable. But very quickly we said fuck it and threw him to the curb, we weren't going to have it no longer. Soon after around thirteen I was happy that he was gone but slightly disappointed that I no longer had a father (even if he was useless) and I hoped my mom would find someone, not only for herself but for me. By fourteen this really layed in heavy on me and the lack of a father really bummed me out, I got really stupid and desperate using bitlife to create guys then add me and my mom in to create step father famlies even adding step siblings and shit. By late fourteen it was made clear to me by my mom that "we don't need no man" and that she was done with dating. I very well do need a father figure, every child needs one. Hell I as a guy truly need(ed) one, there are so many lessons and things that come from a fatheson relationship that are crucial to a boy and I missed out on them. Hell even when my dad was around I missed out on lessons, I still remember he was tasked to teach me how to tie my shoes but got mad at me struggling and walked away. He refused to help afterward and I refused to try and never to this day learned the proper way to tie, instead I have my own far less efficent method. I missed out on so much by not having a father and it hurts to know that and I just wish I had the knowledge, without a masculine role model I have definetly missed out what it is to be a man and likely am even a loser of a man. I just want a father so badly, I want what a father provides so badly, I want the bond that it comes with. I wish I just had a guy to talk to and bond with, I want a dad just so badly. I wish I had someone who taught me how to change a tire or fish and all that shit, but I'll never have it and it angers me, I am angry to be fatherless, I am angry and lost without a father figure, and I'm jealous. I kind of want to have children when the time comes, I wonder if I'll fail them as well.
Friends: Growing up I was always a bit introverted, I think it was of my nature but was amplafied by life. In elementary I often acquainted myself with people never having any close friends outside my after school program. Jumping to middle school I had a good friend-group but it turned out my good friend T was really an ass and I was pushed out by him in early nineth grade. Later in nineth I met my good friend, my best friend M. This year in tenth I was introduced to a friend named D by M. These are my only two friends and I'm happy with them, though there are a few issues. Not anything major but just a few things, like how we never do anything outside of school. The only thing I really miss about my old friendgroup is that we actually did shit: springs, houses, events, parks, attractions, food. Now me, M and, D don't and have never done anything outside of school and the computer. M likely couldn't do anything because of his famliy and D just seems completely disinterested and worried about money. But I wish we could really do something, sure videogames are fun but it would be fun if we could just goof off somewhere, be stupid. This is really the only general "issue" apart from that no major strain or issue in the friendgroup. But I do have a few personal grievences, starting with D. I think D has a darker side of him, he seems to not respect or care for me and will sometimes show it in nasty ways. He had told both me and M to kill ourselves, he attacks insecurites, he says rude shit, etc. Also with D, we have never truly connected, never gotten to know each other personally. Without M we would be mere acquaintance, M is the only reason why me and D are friends and being alone with each other is mostly silence and maybe him showing me a TikTok. Then M, I have no personal issues with M only small factors of our friendship I'm upset or worried about. Starting off with is school, halfway through this year (tenth) M started a FLVS-hybrid. I am happy for him and it's something we both expressed wanting but now I never really see him. I could see him at lunch but he dosen't really come in and only other time I can see him is leaving campus. I ethier catch him and barely have a conversation worthwhile or he's to far ahead and I got to give up trying to reach him. The only way to talk to my best friend nowadays really is Discord, and that isn't even reliable since his parents are often controlling the WI-FI or taking his stuff away. This means when I do talk to my friend it can suddenly be ended as he disconnects or I can't even. This sucks, it feels like I can't even talk to my best friend that much. But that isn't all, because I'm worried for my friend M. His parents don't sound the best from all he's told me, I won't share his issues but just as an example he didn't have a bedroom for two months. Hearing what we gose through is alreadly dishearting but something that I worry deeply about is him talking sucide. He has talked and half joked about it several times and it's worry, I been trying to discourage but he continues with it so now I'm just trying to ignore it. That is likely the wrong way of handling it but I just don't know what to do. I hope it's always bluff and he moves out and moves on with he can, I don't want him to kill himself.
I'm lonely: I'm sixteen but I'm lonely. I am the only one of my friends who hasn't had a relationship, I am not the most worried about that, I don't want to date just to date, I want to date to love. But hell I still wish I had a relationship, even just a sterotypical high-school one. But what I truly want is true love, I want a woman I love with all my heart and a woman who loves me with all of hers, I want a woman to provide for, to protect, to matter to. I want to marry and possibly have kids. I want to love someone, be there for someone. But will I ever even have that? I'm alreadly a loser who no woman would want and even then from what I've heard, "modren dating is terrible" so what chance do I even have? Will I ever have someone to love? I hope.
School: School makes me so misereble and dead, this place makes me genuinely want to off myself I hate it so much. And it seems to revolve around my whole life, even at home it's all my mom wants to bring up. I just need a break from it all but it seems like it's the only thing in my life, I don't really have anything else. I failed my nineth grade year, I failed since I'm a stupid, worthless peice of shit. But they "passed" me onto tenth, gave me tenth grade classes, test, etc but say I'm still nineth, tell me do nineth grade "remedation" online. Now I'm failing like a worthless peice of shit once again! I wish they held me back to try again but they didn't they just pushed me on, still likely would've failed like a worthless bitch but I could have had a chance. I fucking hate myself I'm so stupid and I hate my school for pushing my stupid ass onward and onward, I should just kill myself at this point. And when I try to reach out to my counselor in any hope for some chance of help the piss poor communcation at this school means it'll take days for a response, I can't even get reliable help over school. Back in middle school I had a GPA in the high 3s, I made honor roll every other quater or so, I had high grades and sucess. But in high-school, in nineth grade I failed with straight Fs and got a GPA of 0.7, now in tenth I have a 1.7 and sometimes get high grades but mostly fail. I just wish I wasn't so stupid, I just wish I was smart and successful at school. But I'm not, I'm a fucking idiot and an embarssment at school. And maybe it would all be okay if it wasn't for the assholes I am surrounded by, my fellow peers of this overcrowded hell hole. Just seems like I can never catch a break with having to deal with people. I just want to be left alone but they're is just always somebody wanting to bother me, harass me. Can sit at a desk then have a bunch of cunts around me, harass me, call me burgundy because of my shirt. Can sit down and be snickered at by the guys in front of me for whatever reason. Sit down and have paper, pencils, even ice hitting me. Sit down and have some imbecible pull up a chair and use my desk as his and block me in my seat because fuck me, am I right? Just want to be left alone but never am, nobody ever dose it's always something. I can't even get respect, not a single bit, just always mistreated. Hell just the other day when I was given my packet I was also mistakenly given the packet of a nearby girl, I get her attention and hand it to her and she just snaches it and mumbles something, because I can't even be respected, I'm worthless. And even when I'm not being directly bothered I got to deal with slow walkers, idiots who don't know how to inconvience everyone else in the halls, the over crowded school. It all fucking sucks I hate it all, everyday I think I'm on the verge of snapping but somehow just have more patience, I don't know how much more of this shit I can or have to endure. At least my mom finally reconsidered my old forgotten pleads for online school and reopened the idea, maybe by some miracle online school will save me and "help me get caught up and ahead" but I doubt it, I'm an idiot who deserves to die. Why am I so fucking stupid, why am I like this? Why must I exist this way?
No hobbies or interest: I used to love a lot of things: reading, history, coming up with things in my head, videogames and, anything really. Now I have grown apathic to it all except videogames and even that dosen't bring much joy. I want to have my old hobbies back but lack the will to return. And I want new hobbies but yet lack will but also lacking knowing what I want to try. I'm lost with my freetime, it's all bleek and I want to fill my life with pastion. I still love videogames, always will but I need more then just gaming, I want more then gaming. I just want something, anything. I don't want to have such a lack of interest, God I fucking hate my life.
I have no future career goals: I'm sixteen and have no idea on what I want to do as an adult, some may say thats okay but it's not, not for me at least. I want to have a goal in the adult world, and even if that goal led to a path I don't like then I can always go down another path. Despite having no idea on what to do I at least know I don't want to be in an office. I could handle an office job, and be content with an office job but an office job isn't me, it isn't what sounds interesting, I would likely do blue collar or be my own boss. Some jobs I've considered and would do still are: police, SWAT police, house flipper, 911 operator, port worker, mechanic or something tinkeassemble like, enterpuner my book, film and games ideas or, open a store or bar or something. These are some jobs I've considered in the past that I would still see myself doing, I have also pondered over military/reserve but not sure. My childhood dream career that I still have a desire for is SWAT but I don't think I have what it takes, in fact I don't think I have what it takes for anything. I think all my life is destined to is dying homeless on a street corner, it's all I'll ever be "worthless".
I had so much planned, now failed: At age fourteen I planned to by now have a license, a job, a banking account, start savings. I planned to lose weight, I planned to have an idea outside of school, I had a plan. But I'm just a worthless peice of shit and a failure to myself, I don't even have a permit, no job, no savings, still fat, have no idea about the future, I failed myself.
Fidgeting: I can't stop but want to, at school I can't help but twiral a pencil around. I do it all the time at school but been trying to stop, I hate doing it. Worst part is I'm being immated by worthless cunts by it which is annoying. I want to stop this.
Masterbation addiction: I have a severe and low life addiction to masterbation. I do it at least once a day and sometimes mutiple times a day. The longest I was ever able to refrain was just a little over a week and only failed because I got bored. I need to jerk it to be able to sleep unless I'm desperately tired but even then. Also since I "need" it to sleep I regulary soil my sweatpants then sleep in it which is nasty. I can't control this vice, this low appetite and I'm deeply unhappy about it. Also unhappy that I might be ruining my endurence, a bit TMI but just another reason why this is harmful. I want to refrain or atleast drasticly cut out this pratice and fix myself.
I likely have more issues eating me inside as I waste away as a shell of a person but I can't really think of them. I am told my mom is looking into thearpy so that might be nice. Please just help me, I'm so lost and broken, I sometimes consider just ending it all but I just hope it can get good.

my boyfriend keeps being disrespectful towards me I (F22) been with my boyfriend (M21) for a year now and as of lately it’s been rocky. If you look at the second previous post on my profile this is not the first time something like this has occurred so let me describe what happened this time. So i’m at my boyfriend’s house and his mother was throwing a mother’s day party. When I came I bought his mom a beautiful flower bouquet and some balloons and heartfelt card and also a min cake. She loved it and went downstairs to chill. We’re down there for a good hour and a half and he’s cuddling/ laying on me. So this new ice spice song came on and I showed it to him. When I showed him the song I said that I personally didn’t like it and that she isn’t that great of an artist. He instantly started defending her which caused us to go into a full on debate on ice spice and other female artists who are more talented and don’t get the same recognition as her. It was like he was nearly brained washed trying to defend her. (He was laying fully down on the couch with his head on my upper legs and I had my hand on his chest)
He kept trying to debate with me on my person option until it got to the point of where I checked fully out of the conversation and stopped replying. This enraged him and he threw my arm away from him and a really rude way. After he did this it hurt my feelings so i moved my legs so that his head would be laying on the couch. After I moved his head he kept trying to forcefully make me put my leg back but i refused because of how rude he was acting and then I continued to be on tiktok like we were before this big debate started. Then he snatched my phone away from me (if you read the previous post he did this before but the last time he turned off the tv while i was watching it and as a result i picked up my phone which he snatched out my hand and went away with it )
This time I tried to remain unbothered and this went on for a while too. Mind you after he snatched my phone he picked up his phone and started playing it. So after acting unbothered i snatched my phone back from him and tried to get back to what we were doing before, which was being on our phones. After I got my phone back he said “well if you’re just going to be on your phone you might as well..” and I said “go home ?” and he said yea (I honestly thought he was joking and was going to say jk or something) but when I noticed he was serious I got up and collected my belongings and went upstairs he was leading me out (side note: his mom catered food for the party and I wasn’t hungry when I first got there so they told me to pack a to go plate for later which I did) As I get up stairs I grab my purse and say goodbye to everyone and that “(my boyfriend name) is running me out of here” in like a joking manner.
Then I circle back to grab the plate that I had made then he snatched the plate out of my hand and kept me walking out the door. As I was walking out I wished everyone a happy mother’s day again and hugged his mom (she was at the front door) and kept walking down the stairs and then his mom asked him “aren’t you going to walk her out ?” and and he said “no” and slammed the door. That absolutely crushed me, I couldn’t believe how hurtful he was being to me. So I just got into my car and as I was putting my seatbelt on he appeared saying that his mom “made him” walk me out and I replied “thanks” then he asked if i was mad at him to which i replied “no” (I just couldn’t believe he would even ask me this as if he couldn’t see how upset I was)
At this point im over the disrespect, the first time this happened we talked about it and he made a promise that he was going to work on it. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore I don’t want to be with someone like that. He’s normally a very sweet and caring person idk why he has these sudden switches sometimes but it honestly is starting to take a toll on me.
I blocked him after I got home because of how upset he made me feel and he keeps reaching on different socials blaming me for the whole situation ! With a mix of saying he was sorry and that i am the rude one and that he doesn’t understand why im “doing all of this” im honestly tore between my feelings and my moral values :/ (This was a long story so I appreciated anyone who made it this far)
TLDR; i’m over my boyfriend’s constant disrespect towards me and not sure what i should do next

SOOOO let me start off with, the reason I'm confused is bc it doesn't make any sense. SO A Month ago I had a Retreat RC with a tooth on top ( endo did the retreat) then I had a tooth pulled that already had a root canal/crown just last week ( last Wednesday), it was also a back top tooth#2, I have been doing salt Walter rinses amd finished my Antibiotics on Saturday. ( it was my 3rd round of Abx my 1st round Amixocillin 7 days was 2 weeks before my Retreat bc my dentist said it may have been a sinus infection bc xrays showed NO INFECTION, went to Endo he started the Retreat with a drain and put Medicine in and sealed it up put me on my (2nd Round Antibiotics ) Keflex for 7 days, then 3 weeks later went back to finish up Retreat root canal, everything went awesome, but he let me know that my back top tooth #2 which had crown/rootcanal was loose and had a crack he could see on the x ray but I had already had a bad taste coming from it which I had already told my dentist, and he said it looked fine and it was probably from the one that was being retreated which he had said that it didn't have any infection ( it was infected based on what endo said, but My Dentist informed me that Endos can see more bc of their equipment, although my Dentist done a xRay that went all away around my head and he had stated he could see everything) so I had called my Dentist to make an appointment to have crown took off to look at it, but then with rge Money adding up so quickly I said let's pull it bc Endo said by what he saw it probably needed pulled and he was correct, it was decayed pretty bad, it's been less than a week it was pulled, but before they pulled it 4 days before I was put on a (3rd round of Abx Amoxicillin 9 days, [it was for 10 days but dropped my bottle and 3 of my pills got soaked] ) went had #2 extracted so far so good, THEN THIS MORNING HAPPENS!!!! Getting to my question, so sorry.
So I brushed my teeth and I have been noticing that bottom tooth # 30 which has also had a root canal with a crown just a couple years ago by my Dentist, has been sensitive and been told that is normal and since I have had the top extraction just 5 days ago I have noticed it is sore maybe from the pressure of biting on guaze trying to get bleeding to stop from the extraction ( I was bleeding for 8 Hrs pretty heavy)I'm not sure, ANYWAY then I noticed a hard Bump that was the color of my skin it was just a Hard bump with NO white on it like a pimple, but it was hard so I called my Dentist they said to come in at 12PM only 3 hrs away, so I was in the car before going in and I pulled the side of my mouth to look at it and pulled tight and then I tasted a salty taste,, ( the pressure from pulling the skin to look at it must have popped it) didn't see anything but BUMP GOT SMALLER, as I'm walking into my Dentist, x ray was done with a visual exam , ( no tapping of teeth or cold/hot sensitivity test just visual and xRay) was glaced at for maybe 10 seconds when I showed him where a very tiny bump remained (bc my dumb butt had to look at it and mess with it before he looked at it, so it popped amd went down quickly)and he gets up takes gloves off and said no sign of infection , so I asked what it was and the taste I explained to him once again, he said IDK I see nothing, he then says maybe a Mucosa Gland but not sure bc nothing is there, I asked if he could see where it was leaking, he said no signs of infection, I remind him I was told the same when I did have infection when he sentt me to the endo. So I felt embarrassed and so stupid and felt so small bc I felt he just didn't believe me bc his tone, didn't even explain anything to me, so abt 6 hrs later it's coming back slowly, amd I called my detist office again to let them know the bump is returning amd sometimes I taste a salty taste,the office staff called me back amd said he said he could put me on anorher round of antibiotics( 4th round) just in case it is an infection or gum boil, or it may just be a mucosa cyst ( i thought cyst didnt drain?)I reminded them I had just finished a 9 day ABX ( my 3rd round) not even 48 hrs ago, then I told her I wanted to ask him questions bc I never had a " Abcess/ Gum Boil/Mucosa Cyst, but he literally was in that room with me MAYBE 1.5 MINUTES, she asked me what would I need to know, I then changed the subject amd asked what should I do going foward, Their Amswer since I'm" denying" My 4th round of Antibiotics within a month and a half was to see if it keeps coming back, maybe wait a month or so, touch base if any significant change and go from there. I asked if maybe I should go to an oral surgeon for them to glance at it. I was told no , I couldn't get a referral let's just wait and see, I explained to them if IF it's an infection I would take my 4th round of Antibiotics but he said it wasn't an infection this morning , amd I asked twice as he was walking out if he was sure it wasn't t an infection, he stated NO It isn't, then while walking down the hall I asked him one more time if he was sure it wasn't an infection he said NO, if it was am abcess it would show up on xray. He then stated real loud NOTHING NOTHING Is there and IF something Appears call us, I felt so small. But I did call, and I still have NO ANSWERS after paying $110.00 today for NOTHING!!!! I also have Crohns so being on alot of Antibiotics cam really mess me up, amd ir it's truly not an infection you don't need an Antibiotic, or so I thought. So I said and explained all that, to ask, is it possible to have a "Gum boil" without any infection? The hard Bump is not right under tooth #30, it's more over we're #29 ( but #29 is gone just empty space) so it's way down on gums Like where your inside cheeks go down and meet ur gums, I hope I'm explaining that right, anyway again it's not right up under tooth #30 I would say if #29 was there it would be under that tooth all the way down past gums where gums meets ur cheeks. ( when I'm home I may be able to get a picture to explain better) but again #30 has been sore and hurting off and on since extraction again I thought it was from me bitting down on that guaze all those hrs, I had alot of pressure on them, but before that I had explained to them that it was sensitive to sweets, amd some colds was told it was normal, so again here are my questions!!
What could it be if it isn't infection?
Should I get a 2nd opinion?
If it's an abcess , are abcess hard to leak out, does it take alot to pop am abcess? ( again there was no white pimple looking bump or any blood or pus that leaked out it was just clear n salty, amd the color of bump was the color of my gums)?
How fast do abcess fill back up if it's an infection amd would it hurt and could u see where it leaked or popped fluid from? Would it look like a sore after it pops? ( mine hasn't filled all the way up as it was this morning but i can tell it's coming back, it's slow.
Should I take another 4th round of Antibiotics without knowing it's a true infection?
I have spent $2,800 in the past Month and half, and I'm so scared I'm gonna have to lose another tooth bc I can't afford another Retreat, and I'm scared my dentist doesn't really care or maybe just doesn't know, but being told to wait it out, if it's am abcess wouldn't that be dangerous? I hope I explained amd to anyone that cares to explain anything to me abt what you think my Dentist is thinking please explain to me bc I don't even know. All I l ow to do, is wait and see what happens. And was told to try to wait atleast a month. THANKS and GOD BLESS!!!!

We met on discord on a server about a year ago. We then started becoming close after 3 weeks talking which we discovered that we had a lot in common, even with our birth dates and preferences. and after that period, he confessed to me to which I became overjoyed and accepted. We barely knew each other atp, just throwing playful and flirtatious comments. During the time that we've dated, I've been trying my best to get to know more of him, asking how he's been and just treating him like any girlfriend would. I'd call him petnames and express my love for him through texting. The only flaw is that it takes a while for him to reply back (and I mean hours). It might be because of the time difference (11hrs) since we're both literally on different sides of the continent but to honest, I don't even know either because sometimes it's morning on his side and he won't even come to reply to his texts. Throughout the 2 weeks we've been dating, it's been like this. I'm always the one who sends the first text and waiting for him to reply a few hours later. But the texting between us is just the same, fun and flirtatious. We'd talk for hours on end. Not only that, he's also a caring boyfriend as well, always telling me to take care of myself and expressing his concerns about me. It makes me doubt myself. It made me think that maybe he's just busy with his life and I should give him some space to himself. I figured that I shouldn't act too clingy since this is also my first time getting into a relationship and I might be a bit naive to what's good and what's not. So I waited for him and endured it until it was time for him to tell me he wants to break up because he thinks that he's a coward and that I deserve someone better. I'm utterly confused when I got this message after waiting for him to text me back for a whole day. I just don't know how to feel about this. One part of me says to keep trying to convince him to change his mind and the other wants to just break things off with him because of how frustrated he makes me feel before. Should I try to convince him?