Dirty phone signatures

I recently realized that my husband and I both use reddit but don’t follow each other so he just gave me his phone to follow myself on his account. I just made mine this year and he’s had his since he was a teen, so I scrolled through his account a bit to see what regular reddit behavior looks like. Now, we both are very open with our phones and socials. That being said, he is very vigilant about deleting history (this is a beige flag to me but I can’t do anything until I have solid proof). When I went through his saves and history, I found loads of porn videos, which is of no concern to me; I watch sometimes too.
What was unnerving was that every single video was an interracial couple. I’m white and he is black, and that was the dynamic for every single video. It’s one thing to have preferences, but I think this is crossing the line to being an obvious fetish. We’ve also had countless conversations about him sexualizing me and never being romantically and gently intimate, but always making me feel like I am a sex worker and not his wife and mother of his two children. Always groping me and talking “dirty” to me in such an aggressive, gross way, and at the most inappropriate times. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even enjoy sex with him because it always feels like a 1-night stand. Now that I’ve found his fetish stash, it all makes sense why he treats me this way.
Obviously he was not this way when we were dating, otherwise I wouldn’t have let it go this far. I think he’s become comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to make sex enjoyable for me (he often finishes first and leaves me hanging). Like I said, we are married and have two young children. I’m not sure if this is enough to divorce about, but I can’t see how to continue our life together knowing that I am literally a fetish to him. If I talk to him about it, I’m sure he’ll see nothing wrong with it. How should I handle this?

I was cooking my food and I found that my sister was staring was something, which turned out to be my phone with one of my ai chats on there (it wasn’t a dirty one thank god).
Thankfully she didn’t go through my other chats and was actually pretty chill about it. She even said that she had an AI chatbot app at some point, to which I said “Guess we’re just both that lonely, huh.” We laughed it off and it ended at that.
Props to my sister for being understanding about it.

Hi Everyone, later this month I will be 7 years out of my Glioblastoma diagnosis. I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed and am 37 years old now. Over the last 6+ years, I have been put in contact with many people battling the same diagnosis and decided to create a Word document titled "Health & Happiness", which details all of the things I have incorporated into my healing journey. Everyone is different and I am simply sharing what has worked for me. Neither me or my wife are in the medical field however we have spent a lot of time researching things to integrate into my day-to-day life which we believe are keeping me healthy. For the first 5 years of my journey I received MRI's every 8 weeks; now that I am more than 5 years out I get MRI's every 12 weeks. Below is a copy and paste of the document:
*Below there are some discount codes that I have not affiliation with and found them through IG or marketing emails and they might be outdated*
My Neurosurgeon:
Dr. Mitchel Berger - UCSF
My Neuro Oncologist:
Dr. Timothy Cloughesy - UCLA
My Naturopathic Doctor:
· Christian Gonzalez, ND
o Check out his podcast, “Heal Thy Self” – This podcast has been life-changing for my wife and I. It has provided us with assurance about the path that we have been on to keep me healthy and has opened our eyes to so many things that we thought were “good” and “healthy” when in fact we were grossly misled to a technique called “Green Washing” that a lot of companies and products use in their marketing efforts.
· Below are two links where you can find a ND in your area.
o Naturopath Oncologist Database - https://oncanp.org/directory/
o General Naturopath Doctor Database - https://www.naturopathic.org/AF_MemberDirectory.asp?version=2
CBD/THC Extracts - Cancer Protocols:
· I went through CT's full 90 day protocol back in 2017 in conjunction with radiation and chemo (Temodar). I am on CT's "maintenance" program and have been since I finished the 90 day protocol.
o https://www.constancetherapeutics.com/
o https://www.forbes.com/sites/abbierosne2019/01/24/constance-finleys-midlife-detour-to-cannabis-extraction-connoisseu#456c41bc35c6
§ The article above is from Forbes magazine on Constance and how she got started.
Books and Documentaries:
· Radical Remission. This book was the first book I read when I was diagnosed and gave me knowledge and motivation to not look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. One of the most powerful cancer books I have read and I highly recommend it for anyone that has cancer or knows someone that has cancer. 😊
· What the Health: Netflix
· Heal: Netflix
o Here are a couple ‘extras’ from “Heal” that we found very powerful and inspiring.
§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxmK8A-Kco&list=PLmcZvnvGDkToo9nYIX3ugcgyLCll0NLLc&utm_content=b080891cf2ccb1c272c432873d52f9cd&utm_campaign=Don%27t+believe+you+can+change+your+destiny%3F+This+video+could+help+you+change+your+mind.&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeQjNRahxrw&feature=youtu.be&utm_content=eadbd6e0e0dff2d44d28e6515fa4c2a1&utm_campaign=Rob+Wergin+use+his+incredible+and+unique+gifts&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

o The Documentary “Heal”, did so well they wrote a book as well.
· The Game Changers – A documentary on Netflix.
· Forks Over Knives - Netflix
· Cowspiracy – Netflix
· The China Study – Book outlining the most comprehensive study done on nutrition, and the links the standard American diet has to all types of diseases including cancer.
· Being In Balance - Book
· You The Healer – Book
· The Power of Now – Book
· The Celestine Prophecy – Book
· How Not To Die – Book
· The Truth About Cancer – Documentary


Supplements I am taking:
· Maca Root
· Vitamin B12
· Gaia – “Liver Health”
· Bladderwrack & Sea Moss
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Mushroom Supplements: Chaga, Turkey Tail, Maitake, Reishi, Cordyceps & Lion’s Mane (Real Mushrooms is the company we use.) See video and article below about the health benefits of mushrooms.
o https://www.realmushrooms.com/
o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuL_faveAnw
o https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/canceturkey-tail-mushrooms-for-cancer-treatment/
o Paul Stamets is the CEO of Host Defense and his mother was diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. He gives a lot of credit to her remission from the mushroom supplements. https://hostdefense.com/also has a 10% off first time order. We order from Vitacost.com though due to their sales and free shipping.
· Agaricus Mushroom – I take it at night with my Essiac Tea (See Below)
· Kelp
· Vitamin D3
· Graviola/Soursop – (can be taken as a supplement or in Tea form)
· Ashwagandha –Benefits and study links below. In the first link below, each number found in the article is a hyper link showcasing different studies that have been conducted proving the benefits listed.
o https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-ashwagandha-benefits#section3
o https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26650066
· Vitamin B2
· Boswellia (Frankincense)
· Melatonin
· CoQ10
[· X-R Shield by LifeExtension – My ND prescribed me to take these 5 days prior to air travel, during travel and 5 days after air travel. When flying, you’re exposed to high amounts of radiation and this supplement helps to protect cell DNA damage]()
· Chaparral
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Liposomal Glutathione – Quicksilver Scientific
· NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, Free-Form)
· Co-E1 NADH
· Probiotic – Klaire Labs, Ther-Biotic Complete
· Life Cykel Mushroom Tinctures
o https://us.lifecykel.com/?rfsn=3953957.f0c203&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=3953957.f0c203
o Discount code: 0DCB4626
o Chaga, Turkey Tail, Reishi, Lions Maine, Cordyceps, Shitake
o All of the above mushrooms are harnessed in Kakadu Plum juice which is the most Vitamin C dense fruit in the world.
· We get most of our supplements from http://www.vitacost.com . They have sales all the time and free 2-day shipping.

Teas:
· Senna Tea - I drank this on the nights I took Temodar (Chemo) to prevent constipation, it's a lot easier on your body than any OTC medication.
· Essiac Tea - I drink 4 oz. of this every night before bed. People who have defeated cancer give a lot of credit to Essiac Tea.
o We purchase it in loose leaf form from https://www.starwest-botanicals.com/
· Moringa
· Dandelion
· Teas with Turmeric
[· Pique Tea – Organic, ceremonial grade, triple screened for heavy metals, mold toxins and pesticides. This is the only tea that we have been able to find that has a triple screening process for heavy metals. “Organic” does not mean free of heavy metals.]()
o Discount Code: GREENFIELD 15% off!

Other things I do:
· Meditation – Every day for 20 minute – I started off with the app called “Headspace” other people use “Calm”. Its personal preference.
o I am looking into taking a TM class (Transcendental Meditation) and will let you know once I do.
[· Minimizing EMF exposure as much as possible]()
o Sleeping with our phones in airplane mode and away from us, ideally in another room
o Turning off Wi-Fi at night, and even when not in use
o Covering Wi-Fi router and Digital Electricity Meter (outside of house) with EMF guards
§ These can be found here: https://smartmeterguard.com/
o Keeping cell phones away from our bodies as much as possible
o Not using anything wireless near our heads. This includes cell phones (always talk on speaker phone or a wired ear pod connection), air pods or any type of Bluetooth headphones, this includes Bluetooth in the car.
o Hardwiring my office so there is no need for Wi-Fi.
· When we fly, we have these blankets that we wrap around our body. This company has a lot of great products that protect you from EMF exposure.
o https://www.defendershield.com/emf-radiation-protection-blanket
· We also wear these when we fly, they are a company out of Australia
o https://radiasmart.com/emf-hat-hood/
o This is what we have: RS EMF radiation protection hood, blocking RF, EMF- Brian Coat
· Here is another company that is popular, we were not aware of it at the time of buying the other products above.
o https://getlambs.com/products/emf-proof-beanie
· Positive attitude and mindset in everything I do- link below to article explaining how thoughts can benefit or hinder your body
o https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-your-thoughts-change-your-brain-cells-and-genes_b_9516176
· Eliminate as much stress as I possibly can from my everyday life
· Be present in my mind
· Yoga
· Spin
· Writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each night before bed
· Using Frankincense oil on my feet and pillow, every night, before bed
· Morning Routine: Body Scan Meditation, Drink a liter of water when you wake up (Your body is most dehydrated after a full night’s sleep), stretch or some type of quick 10 minute workout to get your body moving in the morning, “I Am” affirmations (I will usually do this right after I finish my morning stretching, I will typically say 5-10 things out loud to myself, for example (I am healthy, I am a loving husband, I am kind, etc…), statements of gratitude (I will mix this in with my “I Am” affirmations, for example, I am grateful for my bed, I am grateful for my home, I am grateful to have access to organic produce, etc…) I try to focus on this that I have in my life instead of things that I want, rubbing a 1-2 drops of any organic essential oil that you like in your hands in the morning and taking 4-5 deep breaths with your hands over your mouth and nose (this is very helpful in awakening your sensory functions), lastly, I listen to music when getting ready for work in the morning. Soft music in the morning taps into the creative side of your brain and research has shown that individuals that listen to soft music in the morning are more creative and productive throughout the day than those who don’t.
· Taking a walk every day to get fresh air and disconnect, normally with the dogs J
· Circuit Training
· Acupuncture / Energy Healing
· Energy Healer – Steve Montoya – Let me know if you would like his contact info. He travels all over the world healing people. He is in the LA/OC area once a quarter or so.
o https://ramonashealingjourney.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/you-shall-know-them-by-their-love/
· Keeping my body warm at all times. We learned from Traditional Chinese Medicine, that keeping the body warm protects the kidneys, which means all of the other organs can do their job and the body can heal. Also, just for example, when you have a fever, it’s your body’s way of protecting all of your vital organs so that they can do their job, as well as preventing any proliferation of bacteria and viruses.
o http://aprilcrowell.com/asian-medicine/warm-to-the-core/
· John of God – Brazil. Lauren’s cousin went down to visit him during the 4th quarter of 2018 and took a head shot of myself as well as a two-page letter sharing my story. He is a spiritual healer that helped a young man get to a state of meditation where his brain tumor shrunk to nothing. He sent back two bottles of Herbs (Ground Up Passion Flower Leaves – Actual Name: Passiflora) for me to take. There is a large portion about him in the book “Radical Remission” and he is featured in “Heal” as well.
· I brush my teeth with my less dominant hand once a day and then with my dominant hand the other two times.
o This helps stimulate parts of the brain that are not in use often. You can do this with many things, brushing your hair, using your less dominant foot in sports, washing your body with soap while showering.
· Drinking and eating out of glass vs. plastic. It’s having an effect on both men and women’s endocrine systems (hormones, fertility, etc…)
o https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/pft/2017/7/26/new-endocrine-disrupting-chemicals-are-undermining-male-fertility
· This may sound like something so simple but it’s quite challenging: When moving/changing physical positions I am always present. For example, every time I sit, I tell myself I am sitting, every time I stand to walk, I tell myself I am standing. This helps me to bring my mind into a present state and focus less on the future or past.
o This was a recommendation during one of my guided meditations.
· Laughing, loving and hugging every day. This was a big take away for Lauren and I from reading the book Radical Remission. It’s important to laugh every day, love every day and receive and give hugs to people every day. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but it has worked on other folks, we practice it every day. We try to watch more comedies if we are going to watch a movie on the weekend, an easy way to incorporate laughter into your life.
· We recently added air purifiers into our home. I also have one in my office. We purchased the Molekule, but through research we found that the Air Doctor is another good option (and I believe also a little less expensive). Here is a discount code for $100 off a Molekule: MetroMD100
· IR Sauna (Infrared Saunas)
o These are great for detoxifying the body, especially after air travel. I go to Perspire (https://perspiresaunastudio.com/) here in Orange County.
· Epsom Salt Baths – Especially after air or any long car travel as well.
· Grounding/Earthing – Walk around barefoot on your backyard grass or anywhere there is a plot of “Earth”. Feel the grass between your toes or if you are at the beach, be aware of the sand between your toes. We are all energy and Earth contains energy, manifest the energy from the Earth into your body for increased healing, awareness, presence and mindfulness. I do this for about 10-15 minutes.
· Cold Showers (as cold as the shower can get) every morning and Ice Plunges. Look up the “Wim Hof Method”
o https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Diet:
· For the past 6+ years we have followed a whole food plant-based diet (vegan without the junk food). Cancer cells feed off of Glucose (Sugar) firstly, but can also utilize glutamate as a second source of fuel (which is in all animal protein, land and sea). I have also cut out all artificial sugars from my diet. Dairy is also extremely inflammatory for your body and has been linked to cancer in many research studies.
· White Carbs and Gluten - We have eliminated these from our diet as much as we possibly can. Even for people who do not have a ‘gluten intolerance,’ gluten is very hard on the body’s digestive system. Excessive consumption can lead to a leaky gut, which causes toxins to seep out of the digestive tract into the body/blood making it hard for your immune system to work at its peak. Also, most gluten products have high levels of glyphosate, which they’ve linked to cancer. Glyphosate acts like an antibiotic to your gut (not in a good way), wiping out all of the beneficial gut flora which are there to keep your immune system working efficiently.
· Alkaline Foods and Water - Cancer cells cannot grow in an alkaline environment; we drink water with a PH level of 9.5. We recently invested in a Kangen water machine for our home. A level of 7 PH is balanced and anything below 7 is acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment. Things that make your body acidic are alcohol, dairy, meat, processed and artificial sugars and gluten.
· I drink warm lemon water with apple cider vinegar every morning, which also helps alkalize the body and keep stomach acid levels at a great pH for food absorption.
· We practice intermittent fasting, which allows the body to not worry about processing food for a large portion of the day but rather allow its immune system to be working at its peak ability. We started out by only eating from 12 PM - 8 PM and are working toward 12 PM - 6 PM. Intermittent fasting is really important when taking Temodar (or any chemotherapy). It allows the body to protect the healthy cells while targeting cancer cells. There is so much research showing the benefits of intermittent fasting for cancer patients.
· This is a really interesting article citing a lot of different sources regarding a plant-based diet and fighting/preventing cancer:
o https://www.vivahealth.org.uk/veganhealth/dont-feed-cancer

Other Things to Research:
· Dr. Sebi – He is the doctor who put a full-page ad in the NY Post and was sued to take it down. When he went to his court hearing the judge asked him if he could prove that he healed anyone, and he furnished 70 patients of his that were healed by his treatment and the Judge declared “not guilty” on all the charges that were brought against him by the State of New York.
o The link below is a quick rundown of his life. I believe the pharmaceutical companies were heavily involved with his death in while he was imprisoned in Honduras.
o https://wakeup-world.com/2015/08/28/dr-sebi-the-man-who-cures-aids-cancer-diabetes-and-more/
· Radiation Stickers for your cell phone and laptop:
o https://www.amazon.com/Radiation-Protection-Labobbon-Household-Appliances/dp/B078SSD6QC
· We also try to use the ‘cleanest’ hygiene products we can find. There are many harmful chemicals in our everyday toothpastes, shampoos, deodorants, etc. Chemicals to avoid in hygiene products below:
o Shampoo – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate,’ Parabens, Sodium Benzoate. Brands that we like are: 100% Pure, Acure, Alaffia
o Toothpaste – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate’, fluoride, triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol, Microbeads. One of the worst toothpaste brands out there is Colgate. We use Himalaya Botanique & Nature’s Gate as well as Dr. Bronner’s All-In-One toothpaste.
o Deodorant – Aluminum, Parabens, Triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol. We have been testing out natural deodorants for years and our favorite (although not vegan) is from a company called Primally Pure. We’ve also started to use a brand called Joyous Organics with clean (and minimal) ingredients.
o A great website to reference for beauty product ingredients and their safety is https://www.ewg.org/
§ Skin Deep Database – This is where you will find clean products to put on your body.
· https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

· The Clean Fifteen and Dirty Dozen
o The EWG, each year, comes out with an updated list of produce that we should be buying organic 100% of the time (Dirty Dozen), especially people like you and I who have had cancer. The Clean fifteen can be purchased conventionally if you can’t find them in an organic form and conventional is the only option
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/clean-fifteen.php
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty-dozen.php

· The link below is a good read on Monsanto’s Glyphosate and the timeline for removal in home use:
o https://www.ewg.org/news-insights/news-release/2021/07/bayer-end-residential-sales-cancer-causing-weedkiller-glyphosate?utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=202108News&utm_medium=email&emci=9a939839-bef6-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&emdi=4d3bfe91-dbf7-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&ceid=2210188
These are things that we have done and have found to be successful so far with my body, and hopefully, they are helpful for you as well. I have also included some images below that show how damaging the effects of Wi-Fi radiation (and all of the radiation coming from electronics) can be.

Hi everyone, nice to meet you. English is my second language so excuse my grammar.
This might be a little long to read, but I want to give you as many details as possible, so you can better understand my situation.
I’m also looking for support to better understand how to deal with my emotions as I don’t have many friends and no one to share this with.
My wife (32F) and myself (40M) have been together for almost 10 years, and married for 9. We have a child (2)
She is very beautiful and when I met her, she was partying a lot, and from what she has told me she’s had many casual sex encounters before she met me.
I consider myself monogamous and I thought she is as well, so I thought she had her play (which I did as well when I was younger) and she is ready to settle down.
When we had our baby she went through a small postpartum depression and she was always saying how she has lost herself. But after a few months she got back to normal and I thought we’re past that.
She also has a business that I helped her build in the past 7 years and I was supporting her on many occasions while she was building the business.
But 2 years ago I started my own business and she had to support the family while I was getting this off the ground.
Now I’m back to a point where I can support the family and despite the debt we racked up building the businesses we’re doing ok financially.
We’ve also had conversations about doing threesome before, but I always thought she was just joking and not too serious about it, but if we found someone and the situation allowed it I was open to it.
However, about five months ago she sat me down and requested to open our marriage. She expressed that she likes to be desired and to feel like she is hot and sexy again (after the pregnancy), which she is. But because I was working on my new business a lot I didn’t give her enough attention. And because she had to support the family she felt a lot of stress on her shoulders.
I was in shock first as I thought we’re finally doing good and everything is amazing, but then I remembered the threesome conversations and I thought that’s what she is asking for, so I agreed, but we didn’t go into too much detail.
We just agreed it has to be with someone out of town that we meet accidentally at the bar or on vacation, and if we get hot we do it with them (male or female, doesn't matter). As soon as we both feel comfortable with it.
We also agreed to go on a date together weekly and spend more time together. As well as one of each can have a day on their own to go out with friends and socialize.
After this conversation she kinda opened up and became more kinky in bed, she wanted me to dominate her, which I liked and we had amazing sex almost every day for the next 3 months.
Fast forward 3 months later, she went out with a group of business friends that she met a couple of weeks prior and I never met. This has happened before and I was never jealous, so I didn’t think much of it.
I never thought about myself being the jealous type as there have even been occasions when guys at the bar hit on her while I was with her, but that never bothered me before. We were always joking how I’m sending her to the bar to get drinks because she is hot and the bartenders always make her better drinks.
However, she went out with them and said she will only be there for about an hour or two, but when she was gone for 5 hours I decided to check her location on her phone to make sure she is ok.
I’ve had access to her location for many years for safety reasons as she can see mine as well.
When I checked, I saw she was in the parking lot of the place where she was going to and I thought she was leaving so I texted but she didn’t answer.
After about 15 min of her location not moving I tried calling and she didn’t answer. At this point my heart dropped as I sensed she was up to something.
After about 10 more minutes she texted me that she is leaving the place and she is on the way to her car.
When she came home I confronted her and she admitted that she gave oral to one of the guys from the group in the car.
She said she felt the heat of the moment and she couldn’t wait to come home to me after she did it.
We talked for a few hours that night and I expressed my concerns about her lying to me and I thought we agreed on a threesome with a stranger, not doing locals by ourselves in the parking lot.
She admitted she was wrong and it was a misunderstanding. We had passionate sex after and we went to sleep.
We continued to have sex daily after that and even though I was hurt and felt betrayed and lied to, I wrote it off as a mistake and miscommunication and wanted to talk to her to set clear rules around that.
About 5 days later my kid was on her phone watching cartoons and he switched to her text messages accidentally and handed over the phone to me to put YouTube back.
When I looked at it, it was open right on the text message with him. They continued texting (often dirty talk) and she was even telling him where we’re at and what we’re doing. I felt deeply hurt.
So I confronted her as soon as she woke up and she got furious for me reading her texts and invading her privacy, and I got mad and jealous because I felt she is betraying me again.
At this point we sad down and talked for about 3 days straight. She expressed that she wants to continue to see the guy and she can’t just have meaningless encounters with strangers as she had when she was younger.
At the time I wasn’t aware of polyamory and I forbade her to see him again. She said she will cease any communication and she expressed that the flirting before the encounter is what gets her going, so we agreed she can flirt but not take the next step unless she calls or texts before to ask for permission.
And also never with this guy. (As I was afraid she would replace me with him). He is of a different race, has more money and is good looking based on her description.
She said she will not do anything physical again until I felt comfortable with it. And we agreed to try a threesome first to ease into it. The thought of threesome kinda turns me on, so I thought that’s reasonable.
In the meantime I had to travel for work for 3 days this week and she stayed home with the baby. She said she will be “a good girl” and won’t do anything while I’m gone.
Which I’m sure she was. She also said I have permission to try other girls if an opportunity presents itself during my work trip.
I got to my destination and felt like I should try and explore. More so to get back at her than anything else and feed her some of her own medicine.
I found a girl (same race as the guy she did it with) at the local bar after work and even though she was cute we didn’t have much in common.
Despite that, I took her to my hotel room. We did oral, but for some reason I couldn’t get it up, which I thought is on a psychological basis as it has never happened before. And it’s probably because I didn’t have any emotional connection with her. (We only talked for about an hour before we got to the room).
So I sent the girl home (disappointed) and I called my wife to tell her what happened expecting her to get jealous. But she said she was happy I tried and actually feels horny for me more then ever knowing I’ve been with another girl.
The next day I had 8h at the airport as I finished work early and that gave me the time to sit and think.
What I realized was that if couldn’t get it up with this girl because I didn’t have any emotional connection with her and I need that to have a meaningful sexual encounter with someone.
And then it all clicked. She wanted this guy not just because of the physical, but also because of the emotional connection with him. (She shared that they had good conversations about business and life, etc.) He is also in an open relationship of 14 years.
I started researching all of this and I found out about polyamory which I think is what we both are. We need to have more that just casual encounters with other to be able to enjoy it.
I also found the book “A happy life in an open relationship” and I finished it at the airport and on the flight.
What I got home 2 days ago I told her I want her to read the book first then we will sit down to talk again and establish clear agreements on how we will move this forward so we don’t have to lie to each other and go behind each others back.
Once we establish that, she can go have her fun with the other guy (they’re still texting) and I will start going out by myself more often, so I can get the opportunity to find someone like that for myself.
I’m still fighting through my newly found jealousy and through my childhood traumas and insecurities, but after reading the book I have much better understanding of this world and I’m more confident we can make it work and I understand what she is looking for (NRE I think).
So what I’m looking for here is likeminded people and someone who is been in a similar situation before and has successfully went from a mono to poly relationship without ruining their marriage.
You can comment here or feel free to DM if you’ve experienced this and or if you have any practical advice on how to overcome my insecurities, and also feel more comfortable dating people outside of my marriage, because I truly want this to work for both of us, as I love her to deeply and she and our son are everything for me as I believe I am to them.
Also feel free to ask any clarification questions if you need to.
Thank you all for the support and I’m happy to be a part of what seems to be like wonderful community here.

I finally did it, I got it done. I successfully salvaged all of my old collection from when I was a young trainer. I got into Pokemon back when it first arrived to the states, I was literally 10 years old when Pokemon blew up everywhere.
I have a bunch of vintage Pokemon cards as a result, and my collection was rather comprehensive. I basically had a complete collection of Base Set through Team Rocket, all in 1st editions.
Recently I finished a big project. I had a very minty 1st Edition Base Set Charizard. I decided to bite the bullet and go through the Grading process with PSA. I am here to share with you the results, as well as my story. Hopefully it will illuminate the process and help others feel more confident about what they can or should do with their own Pokemon Card Collections.
I am going to break this whole thing down into sections so that those who only care about certain parts of the process can navigate better.
The Lore: Card and my backstory
The Awakening: The moment the community rescued me
The PSA Journey: How Grading fell into place
The PSA Scare: Lessons about the process
The Grade: Grade result and thoughts on how we got there.

The Lore:

As mentioned I got into Pokemon when I was 10 and the craze blew up in the US. My dad was a big wig with Toys'R'Us and so as a child I got access to a lot of cool promotional material and went to awesome prerelease events. A bunch of this material hyped me up for Pokemon before it even launched some of its best products, and I was hyped and eager for the show from a cool video my dad got about the whole thing, it was Team Rocket laying down some of the lore and their struggles they would go through in the show as they talked to The BOSS!
Of course I had the games, Red and Blue, one for me and my brother. But I also had a bunch of money saved for another obsession, POKEMON CARDS!
My Dad collected G.I Joes and Star Wars figures, my mom collected Beanie Babies, and so when I expressed interest in Collectible Cards they were more than happy to support me. Because my parents were collectors, I had good habits. I loved playing the Pokemon TCG but I knew better than to play with any of my 1st editions. My decks used duplicate cards from the unlimited prints of the series.
It also meant I got proper binders and thoughtful binder pagers that tried to avoid 3 ring binder issues, while still using 3 ring binders. This was an admitted weakness, but thankfully only a few common cards were subject to light damage from these rings, my binder pages gave enough room that they were relatively safe from the rings.
However, my other weakness was not using Penny Sleeves. Although the cards were kept away, they also did get shown off a handful of times. Charizard was always epic, and the card always sought after. So he got some time in the spotlight, but was always handled with care and after the Jungle series came out he was basically locked away from any showings as well, becoming a precious treasure kept in the dark.
After the Team Rocket series released for the Pokemon TCG I started to lose interest in playing. I had gotten a game boy version of the card game and it was FUN. But also burned me out after I was done. So I also stopped collecting around then. But I felt satiated. I had several complete collections, my brother even had his own full 1st Edition Base Set. I had pulled each card from a pack myself.
My parents helped me store the collection in secure containers and I stopped even admiring them a month or so later, my attention caught up in other serious matters.
My family and I moved to Arizona, and I knew where we kept the cards but never took them out. Eventually it was time for me to move to college and I knew better than to bring anything of serious value with me so I left my collection with my parents.
My parents ended up parting ways,, one staying in Arizona and one going to Texas. I was going through a bunch of my own growth and adventures so I wasn't there to help divide things up. I honestly had no idea where my collection was at this point but wasn't too worried.
It was my mom that thankfully had kept the collection in her mind. She went through a bunch of moves, as did my dad in Texas. Finally it was me though, that got some roots grounded and my life together, just took me until my late 20's. I recalled my old collection and asked my mom about it one day. She had to resort to her collection a few times for money, my brothers collection had become hers because he didn't care about Pokemon or the value of cards. Some of the best gems had been picked clean, no one giving her their fair value. I asked her if she knew where my collection was.
We tracked it down with my Dad in Texas, a blessing as the climate there helped keep the collection from any sort of damage. Although they had always been in a binder and always in secure containers, my biggest worry about the collection was the lack of climate control through out the years.
But as I picked through the collection, everything looked fantastic! I got my collection home and safely locked it away. However, I did nothing about it. I was scared of touching the cards or removing them from their binder. I had a grounded life but very little time to research the appropriate way to store or treat older cards and I decided if I couldn't do it right I would just keep them safe. I had taken a few pictures because an associate I knew had some serious cash and was interested in buying Charizard.
I took Charizard out of the binder, snapped some quick pictures, and gingerly put it back into safety. The associate tried to lowball me with an offer of a couple hundred bucks, said it wouldn't grade well, and we didn't do business.
I looked into what it might cost to grade Charizard with PSA, and at the time, the materials and website made it sound like in order to grade it, I would have to pay the costs of the value found for the highest grade just to get my card looked at. ((I would later find I was wrong about this)). But the highest grade for Charizard is worth hundreds of thousands. That would have made the grading fee almost $4000! That was not something I could afford just to see if the card would grade well, plus the idea of shipping such a valuable treasure terrified me. So I decided grading was out of my ability and forgot about the treasures as best I could. But I would wake up with night terrors sometimes and spend the rest of the night dreading things, was I making a mistake with my collection? Was it slowly getting even worse for wear? Did I have an opportunity I was wasting?
I had plenty else to fear in my world at the time so I never spent energy addressing these insecurities and anxieties regarding my collection. Five more years went by...

The Awakening:

Three months ago I was having a hard night. I was sifting through my phone and came across the few pictures I had taken of Charizard. I had the Reddit app, and normally I only use it for researching video game mechanics. But I was feeling inspired and confident in the reddit community. I had posted a picture of Charizard before on Instagram and Facebook but...those places are pretty dead! But when I posted my picture into Pokemoncardappraisal I was swarmed with positive advice and guidance! There were also plenty of private messages and I knew they weren't wise offers to take but I was floored just how much higher they still were than my previous experience being offered cash for this card.
Huge important lessons leveled up my brain here. We are talking about finally understanding toploaders, the metrics they judge a card over, how a card actually ages over time, how minty* my Charizard was and most importantly that PSA will upcharge you if they find your card to be more valuable than what you paid for.
I had been previously worried about things like "if I don't pay for the right service level, maybe they wont even give me a good grade" but knowing they would just ask for more money actually took a weight off my mind.
I ordered a bunch of penny sleeves and toploaders and began the slow and careful process of removing my precious gems from their former tombs and into proper protection that made it easier to display and store in a fancy new toploader chest. I took the time to carefully look over each card and try to assess what was worth sending in. The undisputable option still remained though, Charizard. Now that it was in a toploader it was much easier for me to scrutinize, and while putting it into the top loader I had a lot more knowledge under my belt and got a better idea of the condition. I also took a bunch more pictures to share.
The verdict was in, Charizard was valuable enough for the effort of a grade and in such stellar condition that it would be almost irresponsible to never try. I had the knowledge and experience to handle my gems responsibly and set to work making a plan.

The PSA Journey:

There were still serious concerns that had to be addressed. I had worked for both the Post Office and UPS, and I was not willing to risk shipping such a valuable card. Insurance doesn't work the way people think with shipping. You cannot just pay money and insure a stick for $10,000, have it get lost or damaged and then cash in on your claim. That would be insurance fraud.
These insurance companies will fight hard to avoid paying out in full. I have watched them fight bitterly against a $200 claim over a gold necklace that had receipts and everything to make value easy. But to these companies the value is always subjective and up for debate. So imagine the field day they would have over fighting an Ungraded Pokemon card!
Then there was the theft potential, so many extra hands and processes worried me a great deal and created nefarious opportunity, no matter how slim.
I tried asking PSA if they would allow me to do an in person drop off at their facility. But I was told I would have already had to have graded 3 - 5 cards with them before they even considered allowing me to use that option.
But there was a solution. I had never considered card shows or events. PSA has a newsletter you can sign up for that alerts you to upcoming events. I simply had to wait for one to appear in my area that allowed drop off or in person grading.
It only took a couple months and a card event cropped up an hour away from me. This was my chance. I prepared 33 of my best looking cards along with my Charizard and got ready.
This event had several advantages, one of which being a faster turn around time. Most importantly, according to PSA themselves, once you drop off a card at the event, THEIR insurance takes over right away! This meant not having to pay out money for shipping insurance through a carrier. It also means if you valued your card correctly and had documentation on the condition you would very realistically get a proper pay out as PSA understands cards and their value way more than your typical company. So if someone stole it or damaged it I could realistically be made more whole.
So all I had to do was fill out a Submission form on their website, but instead of packaging it for shipping I only had to bring my cards and paperwork, they were going to package it themselves and bring it back with them the next day on a plane to Headquarters.
So now the time came to make a big choice. *What level of service and insurance should I get? The service level dictates the insurance level. *
The service level called "Premium 3" costs $2,499. This service level gives an insurance value of $100,000, the next level is ((oddly)) called "Premium 5" which gives $250,000 insurance and costs $3,999. Charizard at a PSA 10 is worth around $250,000. I wasn't sure if my Charizard could get a 10, but this is where I run into a problem.
Ideally I wanted to insure it for the maximum value so that if something happened I could still be made whole. But keep in mind PSA does not refund your money if they determine your card isn't as valuable as you declared. They are happy to upcharge your costs to the correct value but if they determine the value to be lower you get nothing back. So I had to be very very confident in a 10 if I was to choose to insure it at this level, and at a cost of almost $4,000.
I couldn't do it. Couldn't afford it despite the potential, not at that high of a level.
So what I did was choose "Walk-Through" which has an insurance value of $10,000 and cost $500. Despite what the name implies, it does not mean you get to walk in your card to the facility. Just a name. $10,000 was enough insurance to cover the value of most Grades of Charizard, 1-7 are very comfortably under 10k in value. I could see some light wear on my Charizard, just the slightest of whitening on the back, and a small holo scratch that might be there but wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light or on the case. I was confident my chances of a 10 Grade were near zero but I also wasn't sure how harsh they were going to judge my vintage card. Word was vintage is graded pretty harshly. So I settled my hopes, insured it for $10,000, and dropped it off at the event with my other cards and paperwork.
They had cameras watching their every move, it was a very safe environment to drop off valuables. They were being tracked at every moment, and it was good to see. They made sure my paperwork was in order, that my cards were in a Rigid Card Saver I, and safely secured the goods before my eyes and gave me signed paperwork of who had processed me and all that.
I did not have to pay a cent to drop it off. They needed payment information when I filled out my online forms, but they do not charge you until they finish grading your card.
That was that. I had done it. I had finally dropped The Grail of all Pokemon Cards off on its journey to get graded and preserved. My anxiety levels lowered a bit, but were still high. There was a lot potentially riding on this.

The PSA Scare:

I feel it is important I mention I had been using the PSA App for everything up to this point. Charizard took a while to arrive in the database as received. I dropped it off on the 18th and received notice my other 32 cards were received on the 24th but not Charizard. It wasn't until the 28th that I finally saw progress in the App that Charizard was received. It makes sense that the different service levels are processed at different speeds, but I had thought since it all went in together it would be marked received together.
But no biggie, first little scare over, Charizard got there and is being tracked. But then the 31st arrives...
I look into the PSA App and see it is in the Grading stage, it passed research and identification no problem...and now there was a picture available. Now when you look at these pictures ON THE APP, you will just see a picture. But when you look at these pictures on a WEBSITE you get an important note that I did not get to see, that warns "Scans are taken inside of their holders" meaning what they had shipped in.
Now I wasn't aware of this fact since I was using the APP, and the scan of my Charizard looked AWFUL. And it very much looked like there was cardboard damage, like something had picked or poked my card. If there had been a warning in the APP like on the WEBSITE I would have easily concluded this was due to a bad scanner. But my service level also said I would get "Premium" high quality images so I trusted what my eyes were seeing.
I took to reddit to panic, seen here Look what PSA did to my Charizard and once again the community came in with fantastic advice and guidance on what they had gone through. They helped me realize it was a bad scan and that there was a warning about in on the website but not the app.
I am happy to report that since that scare I have received my card and physically confirmed in person that there was no damage, my card looks as clean as when I had sent it in.
I chose the most expensive shipping for returning to me called "Preferred shipping", which ended up being Fedex. They delivered it in the middle of the day, requiring a signature...but they did not ask for my name or require an ID.

The Grade:

So now we come to the conclusion of my tale. After all this work, all this stress, all this community bolstering, hopes and dreams...what came of it? What was the result and what is my personal takeaway? Well my 1st Edition Base Set #4 Charizard graded as a PSA 8. PSA's website calculates the "PSA Price" for a Grade 8 Charizard as $10,600, with an "average price" listed as $11,104.50
So even though I paid for a service level that only handled cards up to a value of $10,000, and PSAs own price for a Grade 8 is listed as $10,600, I did not get upcharged. According to their rules, they could have upcharged me for the next service level above Walk-through. But despite going over, I was given mercy!
Since my card is now properly preserved I was able to take it out into the sunlight and give it a strong examination with strong light. Besides the whitening on the back, I also see a couple of holo scratches, although I do still have the slab in the plastic they wrap around it for shipping, so it could just be on that.
However, given these circumstances I find it fascinating that I still got an 8. Pouring over Grading posts and examining cards sent to PSA and judged by other users I thought for certain a vintage card like mine would be graded rather harshly, and that PSA would not miss a chance to upcharge me.
Overall I feel like I got away with a strong grade and was given plenty of grace, both in the value of the service and the flexibility the minor wear deducted from my grade. I have always maintained that the odds for 10 were almost in the negatives, it just wasn't given expert worship its whole life, just passionate respect and care. So knowing my card had a few minor flaws my expectations were steeled for at best a 9, thinking it would at least Grade above a 5. Hitting Grade 8 feels fantastic.
I feel like for getting this card myself as a child, and a pretty young one at that, and all the travel, moves and scares this card came out phenomenally. I am ecstatic that my super rare card is now ultra protected, authenticated, and sealed from a majority of dangers that worried me before.
I will happily continue using PSA, who has astounding customer service and a support center that contains questions and guidance about things I wasn't even aware I should consider or expect. The whole process can feel very overwhelming and it is absolutely one of those things that you have to just do a few times before it all starts clicking together in your head.
I am eager to see what my other 32 cards are going to grade as, and have high hopes after seeing what my Charizard ended up scoring, many of the cards I sent in were in even better condition. I look forward to slowly working towards upgrading my completed collections into graded completed collections, perhaps even entirely sequentially graded.
Feel free to ask me any questions you can think of, and I will happily answer. I owe a lot to the community for giving me the courage and inspiration to tackle this project despite the pitfalls and anxiety traps, to overcome all of the unknowns and do something worth while not just monetarily but to preserve a precious piece of Pokemon history!
Thank you for taking the time to read and experience my journey, I hope I have inspired confidence and passion in some of you, perhaps eased your own anxieties about partaking in the grading process, and to just continue enjoying this hobby we all love so much.
Speaking as a Pokemon fan and trainer thats been around from the very start of the fandom, that has gone from being an excited kid to an awe struck adult, it has been incredibly beautiful to see our community grow, to see the fandom blossom and expand into so many avenues and games that have brought unmeasured joy to so many of us. It is a delight to see the card game I loved so much has never slowed down and I cannot wait to continue sharing that love with new pokemon fans, my own children rapidly becoming strong trainers of their own.
Thanks for getting this far. Have a fantastic day Poke Pals.

Hello, welcome.
This is more of a rambling complaint post.
Just as a bit of a preface, I’m in my early 20s. Worked in tech for a bit over 2 years. No degree, only official qualification in IT is a GCSE (UK exam for 15-16 year olds). Working on qualifications like CompTIA Net+, Sec+, ITIL, Linux, etc, and done a whole load of IT stuff at home like a NAS, gaming rig, and fixing shit, but whatever. Job title’s Junior Technical Support Engineer. Lot of words for a kid who hangs out on the phones.
Couple months ago, I walk into the server room in the office. It sounds louder than normal, one of the racks sounds a bit aggressive and unhappy. No real way to describe it other than that, just that it didn’t sound right. Autism helps me out there, I can just feel the unfamiliarity of the sound in my bones.
So, I walk out, carrying the bits I went in there for. Walk up to my manager.
Me: “Hey Man(ager), one of the racks in there sounds kinda loud and aggressive, can we open it up and have a look?”
Man: “Loud and aggressive? What do you mean?”
Me: “I dunno, just… not quite right. Sounds like it might be coming from a UPS.”
Man: “No idea what you mean, but whatever. I’ll take a quick peek.”
Following a 5 minute audio and temp examination with ears and hands, we determine it’s definitely the UPS and it’s definitely hot. Outlet air’s nice and toasty. Check the stats on our online portal, temps are a little high but nothing major.
Me: “It’s possibly a short circuit or a battery issue, should we open it up?”
Man: “No it’s probably just a broken fan or something working too hard. We’ll log a ticket and get a tech to come out in the next few days.”
Cool, weird analysis, but not my problem. Server infrastructure isn’t my thing, I just pick up the phone for people who can’t right-click.
Next day, get in early, and Manager’s already there. Not good.
Me: “Hey Man, why you in so early? You don’t start for another hour, and I thought you were WFH today?”
Man: “Hey, yeah we got a call from Maintenance at 5am with a notification the rack’s running too hot so I had to come in. I think it’s the A/C, the repair guy’s been working on building A/C all week. The air distributor should usually move up and down, but it’s just staying still.”
Me: “I don’t think the air distributor thing usually moves, and even if it did it shouldn’t make any difference. I’m still pretty sure it’s a short circuit or a battery. I really think we should open it up and check it out.”
Man: “Nah it’ll be fine, we’ll wait for the tech.”
Me (with contempt): “Yes boss.”
Doesn’t sit right with me, but I’m not authorised to open stuff up, or override my manager. I drop it.
Rack gets louder through the day, temps keep rising, A/C works harder than normal, room gets louder.
Me: “Sure you don’t wanna check it before we leave? Just in case?”
Man: “Yeah it’ll be fine.”
I wake up the next day. It’s a day off for me, nice little bit of annual leave just before my birthday. Spend a couple hours chilling, then realise i left my work phone on.
As I go to switch it off, I notice a text in the groupchat.
“”” Hey all, I was called in at 5am today by Maintenance as one of the batteries in the rack 4 UPS leaked overnight. It’s now running on dirty power until fixed. X system is not operational, we’re dealing with it. [Colleagues 1 and 2] can you deal with phones, [Colleagues 3 and 4] join my meeting later, [Colleague 5] don’t forget to contact [Supplier]. “””
I’m a junior, not a moron. Please listen to me sometimes. I promise I’m not as dumb as I may seem.

hello guys, so I'm 18F just got into an argument with my mom. I don't know why but I think this is matters, just to fill in some infos I live in a asian country where moving out after you're 18 isn't really a thing (unless you're filthy rich I guess). arguments are nothing new I know, but the topic is just kinda infuriating to me. all of this happened because I left my phone open on the washing wachine. so basically I was scrolling tiktok, and I felt the need to took a visit to the restroom so I left my phone open on the washing machine just outside the restroom. I know my mom is around but I didn't know she'll went snooping on my phone. well as you all know if you left your phone open in a tiktok video, the sound would js be playing over and over again. for the first few minutes it was like that, until I realized that the sound changes. I know my mom wouldn't bother checking my fyp, so I freaked out and I went over to her. I freaked out when what I thought came true, she really is snooping on my tiktok account.
my tiktok account isn't private, I USED to be a chronic poster on quarantine. but it didn't get me much, I only got 1Kish followers and hundreds of likes accumulated. it is not private but it's very personal to me, I blocked every relatives that had found me there. and my mom couldn't accept the fact that I want a little bit of privacy. well you see I don't have anything to hide, all I post is trends or edits nothing too crazy.
the reason why I hid the account for her, is because she had never made me feel comfortable. my mom would always find a way to put me down, she'd always find something to comment on me. the classic one is of course "oh when I was your age I was way skinnier than you" and other comments regarding my body. but of course being my mom she is that's not the only thing she does. she literally HATES every picture I took, she'll find a problem in every single pictures of myself. as an example there's this one time where she absolutely LOATHES. I used to wear this picture as my pfp on WhatsApp because duh I look good in it. it's basically an above angle selfie of my self. she really despises that photo, she called me names and told me I look sultry in that. which is really uncalled for, it truly offends me. I felt really hurt and dirty when she called me that. I get it if I was wearing something revealing in that picture, but all I did was wearing a plain white shirt. and after that I changed my pfp, and she still says I look sultry. she said the angle I took pictures in is not right. all I did was side profile and that one selfie angle. I feel so lost, I never wore revealing clothes so that really insulted me. when she wants to post me she make sure she chose the MOST unflattering photos of myself, she'd rather posts a pic of myself that looks blurry and had been cropped from a class photo where I look like ten times fatter rather than the ones I sent to her. it made me feel so self conscious that she'd call me names just for taking pictures, mind you I barely do any pose besides peace sign and metal sign. but do you guys knows what made this even more confusing, SHE TOOK PICTURES LIKE THAT AS WELL?? I am so lost. what am I doing wrong??
by the way back when I was in middle school, I used to share my phone with my mom for some while. with that we must use WhatsApp together. it was fine when my mom only read my texts, but then she starts to read my UNREAD texts and even replied to them. I had to apologize and clarifies for countless times to other people. it even made some of my friends uncomfy for texting me, afraid my mom will be the one replying. I asked my friend and no it's not normal.
okay maybe you guys feels like there must've been a reason why she's doing that. well all she said is that she doesn't believe that children should have privacy, she said that since she took care of me I should be open. privacy shouldn't exists between children and parents. I don't know why she's doing this.
I wouldn't say my parents are strict, they let me go out whenever I wanted to. and even come home really late if it was with my closest friends or in some occasion. and I never done anything to betray their trust, I always told them who I'm hanging out with. I also keep them updated while I hung out, I would send them pictures or even videos. I prayed, doesn't smoke nor drinks so I don't know where did I go wrong?? I don't understand why she's doing this. because my dad couldn't care less. but he finally said something because the argument got too heated because my mom brought up everything she had done to me and it's including buying me HYGIENE products. and I was just trying to explain her the reason why I did what I did. my dad got tired of it so he just told me to stop acting like I'm smart nor right. it hurts me a little I won't lie.
so guys am I the asshole for not wanting to show my mom my tiktok account?

M 19, This is my deepest secret I never told anyone around me about it. I think I've been addicted to porn since I was a child, like 4-6 years old. I watched many soft core porn videos on YouTube (there were so much of that stuff back then) on my mom's phone. AND I GOT BONER, but I don't know anything about why it got better. I even asked my mom why my PP sometimes gets harder, and she said with an angry tone "Are you watching or thinking about women?" I'm scared of my mom, so I just lie about it. One time I got caught, and it showed up in her phone's YouTube history. She then asked me if it was me who watched it or not, and again, I just lied. After that, my mom rarely gives me her device anymore.
Skip to when I was in 6th or 7th grade, my parents gave me a phone. At that time, I knew about porn, but it's really disgusting for me to see someone dick for the first time . I just loved to see naked woman video porn at that time. When I was alone, I watched it for hours, but not fapping. One of my friends told me if I "shake" my PP, it would feel really good, so I did it, but I couldn't grab my dick with my hand because it was so small and not grown yet. I just used my thumb and index finger to jerk off. It was my first ejaculation, but I think it was not sperm because it was so clear and watery, but it was still slippery. After that, this addiction started...
When I was in 8th grade, this addiction was so bad. At this time, I have a sleeping problem. I'm always thinking about sex or naughty things before sleep to get me sleep. If I don't do it I can't sleep. Because of this, I have a really dirty mind. I literally fap and watch porn once a day every week, and it always comes out with clear, watery, slippery content. There is a time when I don't fap, but it usually lasts 1 week. This habit continued in high school but in high schools the actual sperm are come out when i ejaculate not clear watery anymore, I got a new fetish like **SM, and I started looking at women as property or objects.
Now that I'm finished high school and have a full-time offline job, my habit still continues today, and I sometimes fantasize about naughty things to woman coworkers around me.I'm still fantasizing about naughty things before sleep. When I'm in my room alone, I always have an urge to fap and I do it. I watch porn for hours sometimes if I have a I have a day off and I don't have anything to do. I literally watch porn and fap all day. I do edging so it lasts really longer.But now I can't get enough of just one cum. I do like at least two cum at this time, sometimes five times in a single session, and after waking up, my hand always gets hurt.More things that I'm concerned about are when I feel sleepy and urge at the same time to just fap even when I'm feeling really sleepy. That things disrupts my sleep cycle. I always feel sleepy when I go to the office in the morning, and so many times I think I will die because I feel very sleepy while riding a motorcycle (the distance between my house and office is 40 minutes).
There is a time when my PP hurts after I cum, but the next day, I'm still doing it.
There are so many times I'm trying to stop, but it never works.I'm deleting all of my prn collection, but when I feel the urge, I'm trying to find all of them again. On my phone, I think 70% of them were porn :( Sometimes because feeling so hory i buy OF content with price that is enough to feed me for one whole week :( . After i c*m im regrets doing that. This cycle always repeating for me :(
Note: I just moved to another town to work and study, so I don't really have any friends, and I'm scared to make one because I think I have low self-esteem and am an am an introvert. Maybe after I go to college this August, I will have a few of them.
I never really go out much because dont have any friends, i only go out when going to work. All of my coworkers are 26+ years old, so I feel like I can't get along with them.
Thanks for reading my life story. Sorry if there is a mistake in my English.
Do you guys have any advice for my situation right now?
Is it normal to get boner when seeing women when still a kid?

Title: I am 31 years old, make $92,600 base, live in Northern Alberta, work in Forestry, and recently returned to work after a year off for maternity leave.

• All $ in CAD. $1 CAD to $0.73 US.
• I will call my spouse H.
• We aren’t looking to change spending habits too much, this was more a fun exercise to see what we spend and how we’re doing financially now that I am back to work.

HHI: $166,000
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: Total $76,431 (joint)

• My retirement accounts include a DCPP of $62,495, an RRSP of $8125, and a TFSA of $130
• H’s only has a spousal RRSP of $5631
• DCPP amount is from a 5% base contribution plus 2% matching from my employer, and 3% from me. I have had this account since 25 (when I started at the company) and have done the matching the entire time except during my maternity leave. They continued the 5% base while I was off on maternity leave, I had the option to get the matching as well but we couldn’t swing the cost while I was only on EI.
• RRSPs are mostly from excess benefits money. I have flex benefits and get an annual amount to “spend”. Before we had our kid there was about $500/month split going into our RRSPs. Now we do $42.30/month split ($21.15 for each). The spousal RRSP means I can claim this on my taxes, instead of him claiming on his.
• TFSAs will be our next focus once we’ve caught up on the annual bills from May to July - annual house insurance and two vehicle insurances. We haven’t been consistent with depositing into our TFSA’s, so we have $80K+ room in each.

Equity: The house is worth $400,000. We owe $303,000. Equity is $97,000.
Savings account balance: $450 in emergency savings (this is a priority starting in August to beef up), $2000 in property taxes sinking fund (to be spent by July)
Checking account balance: $5288.15 - we both got paid today so I will be moving money around and this number will be down a lot by the end of the day.
Credit card debt: $16,635

• $12,855 LOC. This is entirely from vehicles - before I went on maternity leave H sold his truck and we took a $9500 loss - pulled the money out of the LOC to pay off the lien. In April, we needed a different vehicle so we took $6500 out of the LOC to purchase a new-to-us car. We have yet to sell the vehicle we replaced, but when we do that money will either go onto LOC or into emergency savings. We’re aiming to get $3000 for the sale.
• $530 My CC. This is from not budgeting for two road trips I took in the last two weeks, plus some other overspending on random things.
• $3250 H CC. This is from overspending on groceries/gas and vehicle expenses.

Student loan debt: $0

• H went to trade school (8 weeks/year for 4 years) to become a journeyman mechanic
• I took a 2-year diploma program that cost $12,000 (including books and random spending). My parents saved up $20K for me to go to college/university, so I got about $8,000 in cash from my mum once I graduated as I didn’t use all of the savings for school.
• I lived with my mum while in college and H lived with roommates so his income went to rent/groceries/bills and I had basically no living expenses as my mum covered everything.
• When he went to trade school I was working, so I covered our bills while he was off (and he got EI and some grants during that time frame).

Other Info:

• H and I have had combined finances since we were 19 when we married. This has greatly changed our financial situation.
• I have access to an employee stock purchase plan - I have about $1400 in my company stocks with no plan for them at the moment.
• I got a salary top-up when I went on maternity leave. My employer covered my 1 week EI waiting period and topped up to 100% salary for 11 weeks. The rest of the time I was off I was getting $1158 biweekly from EI.
• We qualify for the Climate Action Incentive from the federal government. This is about $1200/year.
• We get CCB for our kid of $140.61/month. This will increase to $273.74/month come July as our annual income was less in 2023 compared to 2022.

Net Worth: $164,484
Section Two: Income
Income Progression (Post College/Trade School):

• H has been in his field for roughly 8 years and his starting salary was about $37,000 ($19/hr). Two years ago, he took a $20/hour pay cut moving from a journeyman mechanic ($45/hr) to a service advisor ($25/hr). He’s since gotten a $10/hr pay increase from switching employers and switching roles/getting a raise. H now makes $72,800 not including any overtime, which he does get fairly regularly.
• I've been working in my field for 8 years, and my starting salary was about $41,000. I have not changed careers, but I have changed employers. I got two raises when at my first job post-college from $20/hr (41,000) to $23/hr ($47,800) to $30/hr ($62,400). When I started at my current employer in 2018 I was offered $78,000 annually, plus moving benefits (approx $2000). I’ve consistently gotten a 2-5% raise every year (except this year - but I did get a raise 2 weeks before going on leave) or have gotten promoted and am now making $92,600 before bonuses. I get two bonuses a year, one is based on company performance and has been $0 to $10,000. My other bonus is performance-based and has been anywhere from $1200 to $4000. I got both bonuses while on maternity leave, the company performance one was cut in half based on hours worked. I also had to pay back EI because of my bonus income.

Main Job Monthly Take-Home:
Mine: $4768.90 (two paycheck months)

• My monthly deductions include ESPP $213.60, DCPP matching $213.60, social club $5, flex benefits $26, plus taxes $701.27, CPP $203.97 and EI $59.14. In September I usually have an increase in my monthly take home as my CPP/EI is maxed out, but this might not happen this year as my RTW date was the end of April.

H: $3687.28

• H gets an advance on the 15th of $1000 and at the end of the month gets the rest of his pay. His end-of-the-month pay has ranged from $2600 to $3900 already this year because of illness, time off and short months.
• H’s deductions include taxes $623.25, EI $78.23, CPP $263.07, and $61.10 of HCP, but we’re not 100% sure what the HCP is cause he declined his benefits. This reminds me he should talk to payroll and see what’s up with that. He hits his 1st anniversary in August so we’ll see if he ends up maxing out CPP/EI in September or so.

Side Gig Monthly Take-Home:

• I craft and go to some markets and things, but don’t make much after counting all my costs. If I didn’t sell things I made, I’d have no room for craft storage!
• I am working on a custom quilt that when finished will bring in $275.

Any Other Monthly Income Here:

• As said above, we qualify for the CAI and CCB. CCB is $140/month currently and CAI is $400 quarterly.
• I get $500/year from my benefits to spend wherever and however I want. So far this year I’ve spent it on clothes and hiking boots. I have $190 left.

Section Three: Expenses

• Mortgage: $950 bi-weekly - $1900/month on 2 pay period months.
• Property Taxes: Sinking fund of $185/biweekly (we pay this annually in June. It is $2250 this year, last year was $1950).
• Home Insurance: $1640 annually. We pay this in full in July. I expect it to increase this year, but I’m unsure how much.
• Retirement Contribution: In addition to pre-tax contributions above, starting in August, biweekly contributions will be $377 to H’s TFSA and $226 to mine. H’s is more as I have my DCPP and when H’s total is closer to even or maxed out, I’ll max out mine.
• Savings Contribution: $200/biweekly starting in July, we also will have a home maintenance fund and will save $425/month.
• Debt Payments: LOC minimum is $130/month. We pay anywhere from $200 to $2000/month. This will increase come August, and the LOC will be paid off in May 2025. Both CCs should be paid off by September.
• Donations: $20/month to the animal shelter, and $20/month to SOS, I also volunteer at least 5-15 hours a month to a local sports group and to the foundation my MIL set up after my BIL passed. I sit on the board for both non-profits. We also randomly donate money to other things, or go in on 50/50 raffles different nonprofits have.
• Utilities: In the winter $600/month, the summer around $300/month. Gas and electricity combined. I live somewhere where it hits -40C and +40C depending on the time of the year.
• Garbage Rental: $40/month, $120/month when we get it dumped - approximately every 4 months. We live on an acreage and instead of carting garbage bags to work every week or going to the dump, we rent a dumpster for the driveway and call to have it dumped when it's full.
• Septic System Inspection/Cleaning: $400/year
• Internet: $105/month for unlimited fibre optic.
• Cellphone: $70/month for H. I have a work phone at no charge.
• Subscriptions: Amazon Prime $99/year, Spotify $11.54/month, Patreon $10.50/month (Money Feels <3), PlayStation Plus $32/quarter, Kindle Unlimited $10/month, Crunchyroll $9.99/month ($60.95/month total)
• Pet expenses: Roughly $100/month for food and litter for our two cats. Plus $400/year for an annual checkup. This will go up some as they age and probably have to have dental cleanings done.
• Car Insurance/Registration: No payments we own both vehicles outright. Insurance is $1500/year for both vehicles, we pay this in May/July. H spends around $300/month on gas as we live 30 min out of town. I have a work truck so I have no commuting costs. Annually we spend $160 on registration. AMA is 262.50 annually in July.
• Paid Hobbies: Don’t have fixed costs for these right now as we cut them out while I was on maternity leave. In January though, we’ll each get $100-200/month for hobbies.
• Daycare: $900/month ($450 the 1st and 15th). This is slightly more expensive than some others we found and does not qualify for subsidy or grants, but L loves her day home and the caretaker is great.
• Life/Disability Insurance: $125/month for both of us. This is $500K each for life and $100K each for critical illness.
• Food: Roughly $800/month in groceries and I’m not sure about eating out. Since going back to work a month ago life has been hectic so we’re spending more than usual on eating out/convenient foods. H has ADHD and forgets his lunch at home or in the car every day which is a waste, so he buys lunch either at the nearby grocery store or restaurants. I sometimes pack leftovers and sometimes go get food. I’ve been trying to get freezer meals and leave them at the office so I don’t have to pack things back and forth and we haven’t been making meals with leftovers.
• L’s Baby Supplies: $75/month? We have to buy diapers and wipes monthly pretty much.
• House Cleaners: This is an expense we had before H took his pay cut, and we’ve been slowly putting it back in the budget on and off. Roughly $200/clean which happens sporadically as the house is a mess and there is no time for two working parents to clean with an 11-month-old butt scooting everywhere. She always manages to find floor snacks
• Family: We send my sister-in-law money on a fairly regular basis, anywhere from $20-$100. She always pays us back, but we treat this as a write-off in case she doesn’t.

—
Day 1 - Friday
2 am - L wakes up and I get her back down 3 times before 3 am. At 3, H takes her out of the room to burn some energy before they both come back to bed roughly an hour later. Thanks, L. Thank you, H I was getting pretty frustrated with our darling child.
6:30 am - The first alarm goes off and I grab L for a cuddle and morning nursing session. Once she’s done, she rolls around and tries to climb both of us to get our phones before we all get out of bed at 7. Today is a PJ movie day at daycare so we don’t bother dressing her only changing the diaper and then H and L are out the door by 7:15. I leave for work at about 7:45 after doing some putting around.
8:15 am - I get to work and my first stop is the coffee machine. I get back to my office after talking to a few coworkers about our social club golf event next weekend. I see that an industry-specific mentor cohort program is open for applications so I find my most recent resume (2021!) and do a major update before applying. This year one of my goals is to work on leadership skills and mentoring so why not apply?
9 am - I had a hard time finding a bra this morning so I go online and purchase two new ones from the local bra-tique for pickup. My total is $170 after my 10% discount for signing up for their email list. This money is coming from my $500 annual work benefit for whatever I want and I now have $20 left. I eat my breakfast at my desk - yoghurt and homemade granola today.
11 am - I have a webinar on caribou to attend so I log into Zoom and while it's loading, pull up our cashflow forecaster to get the payday finances done before the weekend. $1750 to H’s cc to cover some overspending/vehicle expenses, $100 to the LOC, $373.10 for utilities, and $450 for daycare. Total is $2673.10 I’m not sure if I should include the bills in the daily writeups, but ah well. Day 1 spending is off to a great start.
1 pm - I get the notification that my bras are ready for pickup. Woohoo! I get new bras for the weekend! I send $50 to H’s TFSA once I confirm the bank account is connected.
2:30 pm - Eating lunch now as breakfast was so late. Freezer butter chicken with broccoli. I only have 1 more freezer meal at work so I make a note to restock.
3:30 pm - I work on some cycle times for the log haul for this coming logging season. It takes me a few minutes to remember exactly what I’m doing and how to do it. I am super glad I came back to work at the end of April as I get 3-ish months of slow time to get back into the swing of things before work starts to pick up.
4 pm - I am struggling to do any more than format my Excel sheets so I figure it’s time to pack it up and head home.
4:30 pm - After picking up my bras, I go to Once Upon A Child for some cheap baby clothes. L is in between sizes and we somehow managed to misplace all her more summery sleepwear so I’ve been grabbing a few here and there. OUAC has a sale on, 5 sleepers for $15 so I grab 5 of those and 4 other onesies for summer. We have a family photoshoot on Canada Day and I’ve been hunting for something that’ll match L’s ribbon skirt. $30.45
5 pm - I stop at the store to check the mail and grab a 12-pack of mixed tequila smashes. $37.55
5:30 pm - H calls. He’s off work and headed to get L. I pull burgers and fries out of the freezer, start up the BBQ and get the air fryer going.
6:05 pm - H and L arrive home in perfect time as the burgers and fries just finished cooking. I have an open Pineapple Tequila Smash and I hand H one to drink with supper too. L also has a veggie pouch with the burgers and fries.
7:20 pm - L is in bed nursing to sleep after her bath while H preps episode 4 of Obi-Wan Kenobi for us to watch. We watched it when it was first coming out, but he saw the discs at Walmart last week and figured to grab them. We thought we hadn’t seen all the episodes, but so far we’re 3:3 so we might’ve seen them all.
7:40 pm - L is down and out and I sneak out of the bedroom. I start a load of laundry and find the two bras I couldn’t this morning and handwash them. I sit down with H and we watch some Obi-Wan Kenobi.
10 pm - I check my email and see one from a local photographer group I really like. I’ve done at least two shoots with all 3 of them separately before and they’ve now joined forces. I went to their open house yesterday and won 50% off a boudoir package in 2024. I’ve wanted to book in since they announced their group, so I go through their open spots and book for November. My initial deposit is $262.50.
10:30 pm - We finished the last 3 episodes and watched all previously except for the finale. Of course. It was pretty good, but near the end, I started to scroll on my phone more than pay attention to the show. I swap the laundry, shower and head to bed at 11 pm.
H’s spending Day 1: $7.54 for lunch, $267.58 on vehicle parts/oil change that we didn’t budget for. Normally we would’ve, but communication is kinda crappy atm, and I think that’s due to sleep deprivation.
Day 1 total: $775.62 spending + $50 to TFSA. Oof off to a spendy start for the pay period.
—
Day 2 - Saturday
2:40 am - L is awake again and not going back down. This time it’s my turn. It’s already been a not-great night, hopefully, this 2 am party time doesn't keep happening.
4 am - We go back to bed. Our internet is on autopay and the notification comes through for my credit card. $105
7:20 am - L is up for the day. I don’t want to get out of bed yet, so I cuddle H and L rolls around, tries to stand and almost deletes everything on my phone. Then she notices my boobs so it’s time for a quick nurse.
8 am - I run the coffee machine and get breakfast going. We’re having pancakes this morning. While they’re cooking I pop some milk in the frother to make a fancy coffee. TBD if I drink it while it’s still hot. I feed the cats their morning meal.
8:30 am - H gets up and I’m still cooking. He grabs a coffee and takes L into the living room so I don’t trip over her and the plastic container horde.
9:30 am - H plays some Baldurs Gate 3 and L watches while I sort through the laundry I did last night. I try to get dressed and none of my shorts fit anymore so off in the donation bag they go. It’ll be a summer of dresses I guess! I start another load of laundry.
9:50 am - L is ready for a nap. Just kidding she just wanted some boob instead. We go outside afterwards to get some morning sun. Hopefully, this will tire her out and she will go down for a nap later! She hasn’t been big on sleep since she was born and gets major FOMO so we have no semblance of a schedule on weekends.
10:45 am - I bring L back inside and change her into outfit #3 for the day. Her trike got rained on and she gets soaked when she sits in it. I switch the laundry over, start yet another load and then pass L to H so I can head to the store, fill the Jerry can with gas for the lawnmower and do the recycling. 20 L of gas is $32.78 and I grab two lime slushes for H and I ($5.19). It’s +20 already and gorgeous. Total $37.97
11:30 am - L is ready for a nap! By 11:50 she’s down and I head outside to mow some of the lawn. It’s usually a 4 hr job so I don’t think I’ll get it all done today.
1 pm - I head inside for lunch, we’re having tuna sandwiches. L napped for 20 min and I didn’t get more than half the lawn mowed. After lunch, we head into town to hang out with my friend K and her two kids. We met in college back in 2014 and have babies of a similar age so it’s always nice to go over and visit.
4:30 pm - We leave K’s house and I swing by Wendy’s for a cold coffee-type drink for the drive home. I try the chocolate frosty-cinno and it’s terrible. Should’ve just gone to Tim’s for an ice cap. $4.19
5:05 pm - L fell asleep on the drive home so I hang out in the car with the windows down for another 5-10 minutes before moving things inside. She wakes up and we head in. H picks a meal and starts making dinner. L is fussy and still tired so I nurse her and we hang out in the cool basement while H cooks. I sort through the laundry that finished off today.
6 pm - H is still cooking our dinner, I reheat leftover pasta for L. H runs her bath and I bath her. She’s still grumpy on and off so she’ll probably be going to bed right after this.
6:45 pm - H and I eat chicken wings and shrimp poppers. L has decided it’s not bedtime yet, I tried to put her down and she got a second wind instead.
9:30 pm - I work on the website for one of the non-profits I volunteer for once L goes to bed at 8. After I’m done, I head into the craft room and work on the custom rag quilt project. One row left to sew together, then to put the final 5 rows together, figure out my borders and start cutting all the edges! It’s not ‘due’ until mid-July but I’d rather get it done sooner and not have to rush. My SIL texts and asks to borrow $50 till Thursday, I send it over out of my spending.
11 pm - H and I both go to bed after some kitty snuggles
Day 2 total: $92.16 (not counting $105 for internet)
—
Day 3 - Sunday
7 am - L is awake and I nurse her a couple of times cause she can’t decide if she’s happy or not. It was a decent night, but she must still be tired from not napping much yesterday. It’s my day to sleep in so H takes her out of the room by 7:30.
9:30 am - I get up make some coffee and slowly start on breakfast
10:30 am - L and I are eating breakfast, I made scrambled eggs, fried up leftover sausage, tomato and she also has two crackers with cream cheese. H and I wrote up a grocery list before I sat down and he’s off to town to get groceries and fuel up the car before the work week starts. Usually, H and his best friend C have a grocery shopping bro-date every Sunday, but C and his family are out camping this weekend so H heads in alone.
11 am - L is ready for a nap. I put her down and fold her laundry and the house laundry, taking a few breaks to scroll Reddit or Facebook and drink more coffee.
12:30 pm - L woke up and is kinda grouchy so we have a dance party to elicit baby giggles. H gets back from shopping and we put the groceries away, they cost $374.03. This is actually cheaper than the last few times we did a stock up so that’s nice! Groceries include ground beef, frozen chicken, wings, fries, cucumber, tomatoes, grapes, bananas, yoghurt, frozen lunches, macaroni, Ichiban, burgers, buttermilk, perogies, frozen fruit, frozen veggies, gravy mix, hollandaise mix, and more. We’ve been buying more convenience foods lately, but I do have 3 suppers planned for the week. He also grabbed me a big coffee mug for $6. He got gas for $60.83, and once we unload the groceries, he runs to the store for bacon, 2 jars of our favourite cowboy candy (pickled sweetened jalapeños), chips and a Starbucks frappe drink for $41.93. I make some sandwiches for lunch for tomorrow so I don’t have to scramble in the morning.
1 pm - Lunch is Ichiban noodles for H and I and baby charcuterie for L - strawberries, grapes, ham, cheese, and cucumber. We head outside afterwards to enjoy the weather, L is so close to walking, she pulls herself up onto everything right now. She has an after-lunch snack of mown grass and dandelions.
3 pm - We’re back inside and H puts on Die Hart 2. L goes down for her second nap at 4:15 and we finish the movie. I wake L up at 5:45 so she doesn’t sleep too long. When she wakes up she makes a face identical to her dad’s and it’s hilarious.
7 pm - H is cooking dinner, we’re having eggs Benny and bacon for supper. I prep L’s diaper bag for tomorrow and we run it out to the car. I also put all my laundry away so the closet is ready for the week. H sits on the chair once we’re done dinner and both cats flock to him and spread themselves over his legs.
9:45 pm - I finish off piecing the quilt top and head downstairs to shower. L is getting tired too so as soon as I’m done we head to bed. H is not far behind us.
Daily 3 total: $482.79. This is pretty usual for a grocery shop day.
—
Day 4 - Monday
6:35 am - My alarm goes off. Can’t lay in bed today as I need to meet my coworkers at the office at 7:30 am. We’re doing a team bonding mountain hike and it’s a 2.5 hrs drive away. I grab a banana, toast a bagel, add cream cheese and I’m out the door before 7 after filling up the cats' food.
7:30 am - I get to the office, fill up a water bottle, make a coffee and grab a few things from my office. Almost everyone is there, and we leave at 7:45
9:45 am - We’re there! I’ve seen 2 moose, 1 mule deer, 1 elk and almost hit 2 caribou on the highway already today! We start up the trailhead at about 10 am
1:00 pm - This mountain is much steeper than anticipated. A coworker and I decide at about 300 metres to the top that we shouldn’t push it. The last km has been extremely steep and we’ve hit our max. The rest of the group has gone ahead and summitted. We eat our lunch with a great view and start the trek back down.
3:30 pm - We’re back at the trucks! 11.2 km round trip. We hit the road to head home and stop at Dairy Queen for a celebratory ice cream. I spend $4.92 on a medium dip cone.
6 pm - Back at the office. I call H and let him know I’m headed home now and he suggests chicken wings for supper. I’m down for anything as long as I don’t have to cook.
7 pm - We all eat dinner. L has some veggie pouch, chicken wings/nuggets and leftover pasta. I am almost too tired to eat. One cat keeps trying to get L’s nuggets so he gets in trouble and shooed out of the dining room.
8:15 pm - I try to put L to bed and she goes down for a bit but decides ultimately that it’s not actually time for bed.
8:40 pm - I go and have a hot, hot shower, my muscles are sore and tomorrow might not be fun. L and H party in the TV area, she’s pulling herself up onto everything and trying to crawl up the couch. Not sure where she got this energy from! One of our cats comes for some aggressive cuddles and pets and H puts his dirty t-shirt on the chair for him. Our cat loves dirty laundry it’s hilarious.
9:20 pm - Time for bed for everyone. Hope tonight is a good night and we all can get some rest.
Day 4 Total: $4.92 (this would have been covered by one of the superintendents but a few people got ahead of her in line so she couldn’t pay for us all). My card is also charged by the garbage disposal company for the dumpster ($40.43 - counted in the bills above).
H didn’t spend any money today.
—
Day 5 - Tuesday
7 am - The first alarm went off at 6:30, but we are all tired and don’t want to wake up. I nurse L for a bit then we get up at 7. I’m pretty sore this morning so I’m not moving too fast. Get her dressed and H and L leave by 7:10. H fed the cats this morning so I don’t have to.
7:30 am - I forgot to pay H’s other cc and it’s due in 4 days so I pay it off now - $93.80 (random Amazon purchases and my KU). I pull some chicken out of the freezer to defrost and make my breakfast of homemade granola, hemp hearts and yoghurt. I leave the house around 7:45 to head to work.
8:20 am - I get to the office and immediately get asked some questions about blocks we have slated for this Fall/Winter. I’m not 100% sure of the answer and have to double-check with my boss. I grab a coffee and chat with the head boss before my boss arrives. I clarify what I need and relay the info back to my coworkers.
9:30 am - I eat my breakfast while I scroll through online courses offered by my company. I got an email yesterday of one I’m supposed to take so I book into that.
11 am - I book H and myself massages, 2 each - one this month and one next month.
12:30 pm - I took a long time to eat breakfast so I’m not quite hungry yet. I grab my running shoes from the truck and take a slow walk on the elliptical to help my sore muscles. This morning hasn’t been too busy, but I’m having a hard time starting my next big task (cycle time calculations) so hopefully the slow walk helps some.
1:30 pm - I’m back at my desk and diving into cycle time calculations. H grabs KFC for lunch $24.12
2 pm - Lunch time, I’m having a leftover sandwich from yesterday, a grapefruit cup, grapes and strawberries. I also grab a chai with milk from the coffee machine. I eat while I plug away at the cycle times.
3:45 pm - I finish off one section of cycle times and my brain has had enough. I go fill my water bottle and chat with a few coworkers. At 4:15 pm someone comes by to sign a few cheques I asked for and I leave the office at 4:30 pm
4:40 pm - H grabbed buttermilk instead of heavy cream and I need it for supper tonight so I swing by the grocery store. Then, I head out of town to a colleague’s house to drop off one of the cheques. $4.95
5:15 pm - I check the mail, get home and start cooking. We’re having Skillet Dijon Chicken with Asparagus and Mushrooms for supper. I also make some macaroni for a side. H and L get home about 5:45 to the cats waiting at the door.
6:20 pm - Supper is served! It is delicious. L and H aren’t fans of the asparagus, but the chicken, macaroni and sauce are perfection! H also riggs up a tie to L’s water bottle so it doesn’t hit the ground every 30 seconds. We fed the cats at the same time and they’re not begging for food quite so much tonight.
6:50 pm - We’re finished supper, H cleans up and I bath L.
7:30 pm - H calls my/our best friend J via FaceTime and we chat with her and her daughter R for a few minutes. L tried to steal the phone and gets mad when we don’t let her. J’s daughter requests a morning call so I promise to call at 7 am. J doesn’t think R will be awake yet so we’ll see!
8 pm - L is tired and ready to go to sleep. I put her down, have a hot bath, throw in some epsom salts, and read a bit on my KU.
9:40 pm - Bedtime!
Day 5 Total: $112.17 (removed $10 for my KU - counted in subscriptions)
—
Day 6 - Wednesday
7 am - I nurse L, she had a weird wake-up last night so we’re tossing the idea of taking her into daycare today. I’ll probably take her in a bit later and H will take his truck so if I have to WFH for the afternoon I can. Try calling J and R and there is no response - I am not surprised.
7:45 am - L and I leave the house, she’s not coughing much and doesn’t have a fever or anything so she’s good to go to daycare today
8:15 am - I drop L off at daycare
8:30 am - I get to the office. I talk with a few coworkers and ask our admin if my new phone has been dropped off yet.
9 am - My new phone is here! Now to start the setup process, everything takes forever with all the authentication apps we need. I also go through all my iCloud photos and organize/save them to my OneDrive while the phone is getting set up.
12:30 pm - I think the phone is finally done. Now to eat some lunch, I’m having leftovers from 2 nights ago - chicken nuggets, strawberries, grapes and a Cherry Bubly.
1:30 pm - H goes to a food truck for lunch. $35.01. This includes the tip.
3 pm - I had some more phone set-up to do. Might be finished now? Get an email about the cats’ annual checkups and vaccinations so I book their appointments for August.
4 pm - SIL paid me back the $50, plus another $50 she’d borrowed earlier. (+$100) I work on the photo garland for L’s first birthday for a bit.
5 pm - I haven’t gotten much done today beyond setting up my phone. I leave the office and pick up L at 5:20. I talk to her day home provider for about 15 min about how she’s been doing, etc.
6 pm - We get home! H has cooked supper already, so as soon as we get in the door we sit down to eat. Supper tonight is perogies and garlic bread. L also has a veggie pouch. H tells me the old vehicle was sold, and the buyers are doing a payment plan. We will get $300/month for the next 10 months. A lump sum would be nice, but H’s coworkers will handle all the paperwork so it’s no more work for us.
6:45 pm - Time for a bath! H cleans up supper, cleans the litter boxes (we have 3) and starts some laundry while I take L and get her cleaned up.
7 pm - All finished in the bath. We head downstairs and hang out until L is ready for sleep. I mostly scroll my phone and H plays on his Rog Ally. L climbs the couch and me and scoots around on the floor hunting for different treasures.
8:40 pm - L is ready for bed. I put her down and read some more KU
10 pm - H and I head to bed. I washed and dried a baby quilt to bring to work in the morning for a coworker.
Day 6 Total: $35.01 for H’s lunch. I spend $0, and ‘make’ $100
—
Day 7 - Thursday
6:35 am - The first alarm goes off. It’s a new one on the phone and nice to wake up to! L doesn’t want to wake up and she grumbles and rolls around.
7 am - We all get out of bed. I get L dressed while H packs up what he needs for the day. I get her milk together and they’re out the door by 7:15
7:50 am - I leave the house. After H and L left, I did the dishes and packed up my stuff for the day. Made a smoothie for breakfast (yoghurt, flax seed, orange, banana, rhubarb jam, frozen berries, watermelon, cranberry juice and milk) and there’s lots left over so I pop that into the fridge for tomorrow. I need gas in the work truck, so I head there before going to the office. I have a fuel card so I don’t spend any $ on fuel.
8:30 am - Get to the office and it’s time to make a coffee. I have some things to get done before my webinar at 11 am.
9 am - I show the quilt to my coworker, she loves it and buys it! (+$100)
11 am - Oops. I didn’t get the login link earlier and don’t know who to contact to get it so no webinar for me. I scroll Reddit and my socials and work a bit more on my cycle times. I snack on some grapes and drink another coffee.
1 pm - Lunch time! I’m having leftover skillet Dijon chicken and macaroni. It is still delicious, that recipe is going into the rotation for sure! H goes to McDonalds for lunch and spends $35.66. He bought a coworker lunch as well, she was having a rough day.
2 pm - Chat with a few coworkers about different projects/things we need to think of for this next year.
3 pm - I have an afternoon pick-me-up snack of Brookside pomegranate-flavoured chocolate and a ginger ale.
4:30 pm - I’m tired and don’t feel like doing anything else. I leave the office and call H to see what we should do for supper. We decide on potstickers and veggies, I’ll start cooking when I get home. I stop and check the mail on my way home too.
5:45 pm - H and L arrive home. I take L into the spare room and we call my mum and grandma for a video chat. L rolls around the bed and shows off how she’s almost standing!
6:10 pm - We sit down to eat, L isn’t that interested in either the potstickers or veggies so we pull out some leftover macaroni and she goes to town on that.
7 pm - Bath time! H cleans up and does some more laundry. It just seems to never end.
7:30 pm - Bedtime for L. I read some of my book while I put her down.
8:30 pm - SIL texts again to borrow $50. I send it over out of my spending. I get all of the borders cut for the custom quilt.
9 pm - H has SING on so I sit down to watch it, he’s also playing his Rog Aloy and I’m reading some more of my book.
10 pm - We go to bed.
Day 7 Total: $35.66 for H’s lunch. I spend $50, and ‘make’ $100
—
Weekly Expenses:

• Food + Drink: 575.09
• Fun/Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $38.78 (includes gas for lawn mower)
• Clothes + Beauty: $200.45
• Transport/Vehicle Expenses: $328.41
• Other: $496.30 (CC payment, photoshoot, TFSA and $ to SIL)

Total Spending: $1639.03
Reflection:

• This was a more expensive week for sure. I don’t usually spend money on clothes and the photo shoot deposit was a random impulsive spend. The vehicle expenses were also a bit different, usually, they’re budgeted for but not this time.
• Honestly surprised we didn’t order dinner at least once this week - usually we do!
• Events-wise, it was a typical week except for the mountain hike, those are not part of my usual work day. This time of year is slow and mostly involves prep for the coming winter.
• This was a fun experiment to write! I did have to cut some things as my word count kept increasing and I didn’t want it to be too long - is this too long even still? Too much detail on baby routines?

Watch your bags and watch your friends’ bags, use clutch loops etc because some pos stole my phone last year while we were all walking out. They take advantage of the thick crowds, so be extra aware when it’s packed (: And if you see a phone thief, cause a scene and beat their a$$es!!!

TW: mentions of suicide
Hello Folks, long story so bear with me, but im at the end of my line and i dont know what to do anymore…
My best friend, lets call him C, from pretty early on in our lives when we first met on a U16 party where we bonded instantly, is spiraling into an abusive relationship more and more and i fell like i can do nothing about it.
C always had some problems with girls, he isnt ugly or anything, he just has always had big problems with his self esteem and has never really fought out of it, especially with girls it was always the same pattern, every girl he met has rejected him because he felt more like a friend than a romantic/sexual interest which killed his self image even more, making the next thing even worse and continuing the circle.
Of course you try as friends to give advice or help him or even set him up with someone but he just has this character that apparently makes him not so attractive to girls. He is a wonderful person, probably the most loyal and caring friend ive ever had, and while i know this sounds a bit like incel yapping i feel like he is „too“ nice sometimes, or at least thats what we heard from some of the girls we talked with about him…
It got better when we got older, he grew up, finished school and started further education which boosted his self esteem, he met some girls through tinder, he had his first time, and then eventually started dating someone, lets call her D.
Me and our other friends were really happy for him, because he was happy and finally had someone who loved him and seemed to apprechiate his person, and although he started to be a bit more isolated it felt normal since i think most people want to spend lots of time with their s/o especially when the butterflies are still active.
He then moved out of our city for work (around 1hr by train) but his gf stayed so we thought okay he would visit her often and then we would see him still when hes here anyways, and in the beginning it was exactly like that, he took her along most of the time and even if she didnt really connect with us (i guess she was a shy person too) we thought no bad things about her and always welcomed her in our group, trying to make her feel included.
As the months went by, and eventually around a year had passed though, she stopped coming, most of the time he said she wasnt feeling well or she was sick etc, and when he was with us alone it always ended in her calling him or them texting all the time, always fighting because she felt uneasy or bad in some way or another and wanted him to be there for her.
In the end he joined us less and less for activities and even stopped writing for long periods of time.
Now there were some „bright days“ where hed reach out really motivated and wanted to do something, go out, talk etc, and when we could get these chances to talk we heard more and more how stressful the relationship got, she started to get mental health problems and „needed him“ more.
Eventually i and other friends started reaching out more, sonce we started to worry because it seemed like the entire thing to a turn into a more unfortunate direction so finally one day he called me pretty roughed up and still shaken when he told me that he broke up with her since after he went to visit his grandparents and couldnt answer much she went so far as to tell him something along the lines of „if not coming i feel like hurting myself“ and making serious remarks about suicidal thoughts, and when he reacted to that she just didnt answer the phone for the rest of the day leaving him in the dark and thinking she killed herself bc of him.
And then a few weeks later i found out they were back together.
This repeated for 3 times until finally they would split apart „mutually“ agreeing they were bad for each other (i have to add that he would always be like „well its not only her fault, i say some nasty stuff too and we always fight hard, i have to take blame too“ etc)
Now things got better, she apparently went and took a trip around the world, separating them by force which helped the split up, or at least thats what we thought…
Almost a year has passed now, and when we spoke about it he told me that she would be coming back, and theyhave apparently been texting the entire time so he wants to meet her again when she comes back.
My stance in this matter has mostly been to try and be diplomatic, appeal to reason and tell him i support him no matter what, i tried the „harsh“ angry route in the beginning but felt that just pushed him away from me.
This time i felt defeated for the first time.
All this progress for nothing.
He went to the gym, we saw him more, he flourished and even finished his education to get a good job and then decides he wants to get back with her KNOWING and admitting she and him dont get along.
And his reasoning was: he felt like he cant find anybody else and nobody else will love him.
Now she has been back for some weeks and as fate played him even more dirty his father died to a sickness really abruptly. So when he went to the funeral into another city, she played the same old stories about how she needs him because shes not doing well and „since he doesnt want to talk to her anyways“ (wtf like, His damn father died) bla bla bla.
Same old stories and patterns, it feels like hes so defeated and almost like a real addict… relapsing time and time again and talking about „i know its bad but we would both end it if it got to the levels before“ etc.
To conclude this: Ive been talking to a mutual friend, we both dont know what to do anymore.. we tried everything and nothing works, the last idea is to give him an ultimatum;
If you go back with her we cant keep looking at you destroying yourself in this „relationship“, we cant do it anymore and you will loose us,
I hate this, it feels horrible and so wrong to do this „us or her“ route but at this point we lack ideas for anything else…
I would apprechiate some opinions, maybe tips or if you made similar experiences i would love to hear them because i dont know what to do anymore, i have a feeling this will end horrible…
TLDR: WIBTAH if i told my friend „us, your childhood friends, or her, we cant keep looking at her destroying you and you letting it happen not listening or learning anything from the past“

ABT Sounds (Serum, Samples & Ableton Tempates):

ABT Sounds - Rhythmic Roots - Full Bundle
ABT Sounds - Savannah Groove Bundle

Studio Tronnic (Serum, Samples & Ableton Tempates):

Afro House Songstarters (Ableton)
Akimoto Melodic House & Techno
Aquarium Template Project
Artist Series Rivas (RB) Vol.1 Bralizian Bass House Music
Bass House Freedom
Beyond Progressive & Techno Vol.2
Brazilian Bass and Pop
Brazilian Trend Drops
DESANDE
HAWK Slap House Producer Pack
Keine Deep Afro
Kings of Afro House By Truppel
Producer Essentials Multi-Genre
Progressive Inspirations
Progressive Tech House by Fancy Inc
Repopulate Tech House
Rivas Artists Inspiration
Secret Brazilian Bass Presets & Racks
Stranger Things Theme Remake
Take my Time Template
Tech House Legends
Tech House Solution Vol.01
Tech House Vocal Chops
Top 100 Arpeggiated Melodic Techno
...........................................................................

The Producer School (Serum, Samples & Ableton Tempates)

Cosmic
Astral
Aura Melodic House Sample Pack
Desert
Devotion
Dimension
Drum Toolkit
Eclipse
Elevate
EVO x TPS Destination STMPD
Fusion
Future Rave Bundle
Futuristic Vol. 2
Gravity
Hazard (Ft. San Pacho)
Horizon
Inferno
Inferno II
Malarkey Signature
Millenium
Oasis (Afro House)
Omnia
Orbit
Redemption
San Pacho - Hazard Bass & Tech House
Selection
Spectrum
Ultimate Collection
Vision
...........................................................................

Lotus Tunes (Serum, Samples & Ableton Tempates)

Azhar - Mid-East Organic Production Suite
Organic House Production Suite
Deep Afro House Production Suite
Sinai Oriental Organic Production Suite
Tulum Deep Tribal Organic Production Suite
Yerevan Deep Minimal Organic Production Suite
...........................................................................

Production Music Live (Serum, Samples & Ableton Tempates)

PML - Acoustic Melodic House Themes
PML - Acoustic Melodic House Themes Vol. 3
PML - Acoustic Melodic House Themes Vol. 4
PML - Analog Techno Synth Shots
PML - Artist Kicks by Bound to Divide
PML - Artist Kicks Vol. 2
PML - Ben Boehmer - Melodic Deep Sound Pack V1.3
PML - Bound to Divide - Lauren L'aimant Vocal Hooks
PML - Clouds - Melodic Deep Ableton Template
PML - Comino Samples and Presets
PML - Dark Techno Sample Pack
PML - Dark Textures & Soundscapes
PML - Deep Premium Vol 1 - Drums
PML - Deep Premium Vol 2 - Drums
PML - Deep Premium Vol 3 - Drums
PML - Deep Premium Vol 4 - Drums
PML - Deep Premium Vol 5 - Drums
PML - Deep Premium Vol 6 - Drums
PML - Deep Premium Vol 7 - Drums & Tonal
PML - Deep Premium Vol 8 - Drums & Tonal
PML - Deep Tech House Song Starters (SV)
PML - Deep Vibes - Progressive House Pack V1.2
PML - EDM Toolkit
PML - Future Bass Sample Pack
PML - Future Bass Toolkit
PML - Innerbloom Melodic House
PML - Jimi Jules Sample Pack
PML - Masquerade High Tech Minimal Sound Pack V1
PML - Melodic & Organic
PML - Melodic Deep - Sound Pack (by Francois) V1.2
PML - Melodic Techno - Loops & Song Starter - Jonas Saalbach
PML - Melodic Techno Academy Vol. 2
PML - Melodic Techno Academy Vol. 2 Bonus
PML - Melodic Techno Drum Sample Pack
PML - Melodic Techno Sound Pack Vol. 2 (Tim Engelhardt)
PML - Melodic Techno Start to Finish Academy
PML - MINI V3 - Melodic Techno Sound Pack
PML - Organic House Essentials
PML - Organica Vol. 2 Full Template Edition (PML257)
PML - Organica Vol. 3 - Full Production Suite
PML - Organica Vol. 4 - Full Production Suite Template Edition
PML - Overdrive Techno Sound Pack
PML - Peak Time Techno Vol.2 - Samples by Weska
PML - Percussive Afro House
PML - Psytrance Loops
PML - Psytrance Mantra Production Pack
PML - Radiation - Techno Production Pack by Johannes Menzel
PML - Raw Underground Techno Vocals
PML - Sample Pack - Festival Vibes - Limited Bonus Pack
PML - Sample Pack - Melodic & Organic by Fejka (Ableton)
PML - Shaker Loops
PML - Smck Pack
PML - Stil vor Talent x Artist Pack Vol. 1
PML - StilVorTalent x Polaroit
PML - Summer Vibes Sample Pack
PML - Techno Kickdrums Vol. 1
PML - Tim Engelhardt Production Pack - Melodic Techno
PML - Tops & Atmo Loops Pack V1
PML - Trap Production Pack
PML - Trap Sample Pack
PML - Ultimate Future Bass Sample Pack
PML - Vintage House Pack
PML - Vocalized
PML - Woodlands Vol. 1
PML - Woodlands Vol. 2 Organic House
...........................................................................

Top Music Arts (Ableton Tempates with Serum Presets)

TMA - #1 - Deep House Ableton Tempate
TMA - #1 Slap House Style Template Project
TMA - #2 - Deep House Ableton Template
TMA - #3 - Deep House (Ableton Template)
TMA - #4 - Deep House (Ableton Template)
TMA - A7S - Nirvana
TMA - Ableton Dance Template (Think About Me)
TMA - ACRAZE - Take Me Away
TMA - ACRAZE x Paige Cavell - The Otherside
TMA - Adriatique Mystery (TALE OF US & MATHAME REMIX) Ableton Remake (TECHNO TEMPLATE) MIDI + SERUM PRESETS
TMA - Alesso - Somebody To Use (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Alesso & Katy Perry - When I'm Gone
TMA - Alesso Zara Larsson - Words
TMA - Alok - Don't Say Goodbye Remake
TMA - Alok & Bebe Rexha – Deep In Your Love (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Amaarae - SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY Remix ft Kali Uchis (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Anyma - Explore Your Future
TMA - Anyma & Chris Avantgarde - Eternity (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Anyma & Grimes - Welcome To The Opera (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Argy & Goom Gum - Pantheon
TMA - Armin van Buuren · Punctual - On & On (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Armin van Buuren & Xoro feat. Yola Recoba - God Is In The Soundwaves (Ableton Remake)
TMA - ARTBAT Atlas Ableton Remake
TMA - ARTBAT Sailor & I Best of Me Ableton Remake
TMA - ARTBAT Upperground Ableton Remake (TECHNO TEMPLATE)
TMA - ARTBAT, David Guetta ft Idris Elba - It's Ours
TMA - ATB, Topic, A7S - Your Love (9PM) Project
TMA - AVAION, MAGNUS - Where Did You Go
TMA - AVAION, Why So Sad - Fallin' (Ableton Remake)
TMA - B-Case - Can't Buy Love (feat. Baby E) Project
TMA - Bad Bunny - Where She Goes
TMA - Becky Hill, David Guetta - Remember (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Becky Hill, Lewis Thompson - Side Effects
TMA - Biscits - Don't Stop (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Biscits - In My Head
TMA - Boris Brejcha feat. Laura Korinth Gravity Ableton Remake
TMA - Boris Brejcha Never Look Back Ableton Remake (Progressive House Template)
TMA - BYOR - Keep On Dancin
TMA - Calvin Harris, Ellie Goulding - Miracle (Mau P Remix)
TMA - Calvin Harris, Sam Smith - Desire (MEDUZA Remix) (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Cedric Gervais x Joel Corry – MOLLY
TMA - Chapter & Verse - Lights Go Out
TMA - Clean Bandit & Topic - Drive (feat. Wes Nelson)
TMA - Coldplay X BTS - My Universe
TMA - Colyn Khazad Dum Ableton Remake (TECHNO TEMPLATE)
TMA - Dark Heart - Over & Over (ft. Njomza) Project
TMA - David Guetta & Bebe Rexha - I'm Good
TMA - David Guetta & Kim Petras - When We Were Young (The Logical Song) (Ableton Remake)
TMA - David Guetta & MORTEN - Dreams (Ableton Remake)
TMA - David Guetta, Becky Hill - Crazy What Love Can Do
TMA - Deadmau5 - Strobe (with Frank Ocean) KREAM Remix
TMA - Diplo with Miguel - Don't Forget My Love (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Dom Dolla feat. Mansionair - Strangers
TMA - Dombresky - LIFT OFF_Gmaj
TMA - Duke Dumont - Ocean Drive (remake) Project
TMA - Elderbrook - Sleepwalking (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Elton John - Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)(Ableton Remake)
TMA - Europa - All Day And Night (KREAM Remix) Project
TMA - Falden - Tell Me (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Fancy Inc & Kryder - Healing
TMA - Felix Jaehn & Jonas Blue - Past Life (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Felix Jaehn ft Zoe Wees - Do It Better
TMA - Galantis, David Guetta & Little Mix - Heartbreak Anthem (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Gaullin - Moonlight (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Glockenbach, Joel Corry, Tenchi, ClockClock - YEAH (Ableton Remake)
TMA - GOODBOYS - Black & Blue
TMA - Grigoré - Hyperreal (Ableton Remake)
TMA - GUZ - Gonna Be Mine (feat. Sydney Jo Jackson) (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Hannah Laing feat. RoRo - Good Love
TMA - Hope - Deep House Ableton Template
TMA - Imany - Don't Be so Shy (Filatov & Karas Remix)
TMA - James Hype, Miggy Dela Rosa
TMA - JAUZ - Lights Go Out
TMA - Jax Jones - You Don't Know Me ft RAYE (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Jax Jones ft MNEK - Where Did You Go
TMA - Jax Jones, AuRa - i miss u (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Jax Jones, D.O.D, Ina Wroldsen - Won't Forget You (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Jaymes Young - Infinity
TMA - Jimi Jules - My City's On Fire (Anyma & Cassian Remix)
TMA - Joel Corry - Hey DJ_Amin
TMA - Joel Corry - I Wish (feat. Mabel)
TMA - Joel Corry - Liquor Store
TMA - Joel Corry - Lonely (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Joel Corry - Sorry (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Joel Corry & David Guetta - What Would You Do
TMA - Joel Corry x RAYE x David Guetta - BED Remake
TMA - John Summit ft Hayla - Where You Are
TMA - Jonas Blue - Hear Me Say (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Jonas Blue - Hear Me Say ft. LEON KREAM Remix
TMA - Jonas Blue, Why Don't We - Don’t Wake Me Up (Sevenn Remix)
TMA - Just Kiddin - Change My Mind (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Just Kiddin - Do You Know (Ableton Remake)
TMA - JYYE - Feelings
TMA - K.A.M.A. - Atari
TMA - Kaleena Zanders & Shift K3Y - Vibration
TMA - Keanu Silva, Toby Romeo, SACHA - Hopeless Heart (Ableton Remake)
TMA - KREAM - About You
TMA - Kream - Pressure
TMA - Zivert - Life (Ableton Remake)
TMA - KREAM - Take Control
TMA - Kream - What You've Done To Me (feat. Bemendé)
TMA - Kream Feat. Zohara - Water
TMA - KREAM, Dan Caplen - Roads
TMA - Kungs - Lipstick
TMA - Leony - Holding On (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Lost Frequencies & James Arthur - Questions
TMA - Lost Frequencies ft Calum Scott - Where Are You Now (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Lucas Estrada - Drowning In You
TMA - Mabel Feat Jax Jones & Galantis - Good Luck
TMA - Marshmello - Leave Before You Love Me Project
TMA - Martin Jensen - Can't Come To The Phone
TMA - Matador & MEDUZA & Artche - Just A Feeling
TMA - MEDUZA - Phone ft Sam Tompkins_Ebm
TMA - Meduza feat. Hozier - Tell It To My Heart (Ableton Remake)
TMA - MEDUZA x Eli & Fur - Pegasus
TMA - Meduza, Dermot Kennedy - Paradise
TMA - Michael Calfan - Bittersweet
TMA - Michael Schulte x R3HAB - Better Me (Ableton Remake)
TMA - MK & Sonny Fodera ft Raphaella - One Night
TMA - Mochakk - Jealous (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Monolink Return To Oz ARTBAT
TMA - Nathan Dawe x Joel Corry x Ella Henderson - 0800 Heaven_Gbmaj
TMA - Nathan Dawe, Ella Henderson - 21 Reasons
TMA - Nathan Dawe, Ksi - Lighter (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Nathan Dawe, Little Mix - No Time For Tears (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Navos - Believe Me (Ableton Remake)
TMA - NTO - Invisible
TMA - Ofenbach - Head shoulders knees & Toes
TMA - Ofenbach - Overdrive (ft Norma Jean Martine)
TMA - Ofenbach & R3HAB - I Ain’t Got No Worries
TMA - Oliver Cricket - Better Days (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Oliver Heldens & Anabel Englund - Deja Vu (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Ömer Bükülmezoğlu - ROE_Bbmin
TMA - Palastic - Side (Selected Style Template)
TMA - Pascal Junior - Wishes
TMA - PBH & Jack feat. Sash Sings - Lose CTRL (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Punctual, KREAM - Want You Bad
TMA - Purple Disco Machine - Dopamine (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Purple Disco Machine - Hypnotized Remake
TMA - RAYE - Call on me (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Raye - Call On Me (Kream Remix) (Ableton Remake)
TMA - RAYE, Rudimental - Regardless [Ableton Project]
TMA - Robin Schulz - All We Got ft KIDDO (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Robin Schulz - Sweet Goodbye (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Romance - House Ableton Template (Acraze, John Summit Style)
TMA - Sam Feldt X Rita Ora - Follow me (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Sangiovanni, Aitana - Mariposas (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Shift K3Y - Let U Have Me (Ableton Remake)
TMA - SIDEPIECE - Dont Keep Me Waiting
TMA - SIDEPIECE - Temptation
TMA - Sigala - Melody
TMA - Sigala - You for Me
TMA - Sigala, James Arthur - Lasting Lover (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Sigala, MNEK - Radio
TMA - Silk City, Dua Lipa - Electricity ft. Diplo, Mark Ronson (Ableton Live Remake) by TopMusicArts
TMA - Sofi Tukker John Summit - Sun Came Up (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Sonny Fodera, Kolidescopes, Sinead Harnett - Nah
TMA - Sonny Fodera, Raphaella - Need U
TMA - SZA - Shirt (KREAM Remix)
TMA - SZA -.Good Days (KREAM Remix)(Ableton Remake)
TMA - The Weeknd, Swedish House Mafia - Moth To A Flame (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Think About Me - Ableton Dance Template
TMA - Tiësto - 10_35 (feat. Tate McRae)
TMA - Tiesto - The Business (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Topic - In Your Arms (For An Angel)(Ableton-Remake)
TMA - Topic - Why do you lie to me Remake Project
TMA - twocolors - Lovefool (Ableton Remake)
TMA - Vintage Culture - Free
TMA - VIZE x Alan Walker – Space Melody
TMA - Zivert - Life (Ableton Remake)

I am a 37-year-old male I am a licensed PRS for a living which is important later on in the story. I didn't have the greatest upbringing. My dad was a holy roller hypocrite that was extremely mentally abusive. He was just a complete asshole and my mother. She's sweet. Well I don't want to go too far I also don't want to call her a bad mother but she just grew up pretty messed up. Very poor. So men and money always came before me and my siblings. I used to be pretty bad off in addiction and my choice in women. I don't want to under exaggerate this. My choice in women was the absolute worst. I mean as terrible as it gets. I have been with some of the craziest most mentally ill evil women known to walk the face of this planet. And you know what? I'm going to save some of those relationships for another story. We'll just focused on the most recent disaster. I just recently split up with my ex last August which I have two children with 21 and my youngest will be 19 I split up with their mother back in 2003 so 21 years ago my daughter I had with her that was a story for a whole different time. How? I ended up with my daughter with her. It's a pretty messed up story Long story short is she lied to me and told me she was already pregnant. We were just messing around and she actually wasn't pregnant and I was young and dumb and believed her and decided to stop using protection and got her pregnant. That's the short version of it. Anyways, I split up with her because she was severely mentally unstable. Extremely insecure accused me of everything under the Sun that I later figured out. She was just accusing me of everything that she was guilty of so I kicked her out and this is important for the story back then she was calling me after we split up while she was having sex with other guys. Fast forward to 2020 And I decided to give her another chance thinking since I had changed so much. Maybe she had And boy was I wrong if anything she had gotten worse it was one of the worst relationships I've ever had. Still the exact same severely insecure only. I'm a lot older and I've had a lot more experience and this go around. I learned that she just projects all the bullshit that she's doing in the relationship onto her partner. So I was being accused of doing drugs, cheating, lying, gas lighting, everything that she was doing to me and this whole time throughout the relationship. I don't know how many times I call my mother and went to her house for help crying begging her to help me either get that woman help or get her out of my house and that whole time my mom would tell me she thinks she's cheating on me. The guilty accused my mom was telling me she thought she was on math well I eventually ended up figuring everything out. I found tutors in my house. She was lying to me about her paychecks going to work. She was sleeping with someone I've known for over 20 years that pretended to be my friend which I found out he was the one that was messing with my last ex that I went through hell with only I didn't know who she was cheating on me with. I figured everything out. They got told on by his cousin. I called him over here and confronted him well after I kicked her out my mom for some reason decided to side with her and let her manipulate my mother, my children and everyone else into thinking that I was on drugs and acting crazy and accusing her of fabricated things, which in all reality it was the other way around And then what do you know right after I kicked her out? I think on night two I get a phone call from her and just like 20 years prior she was having sex with someone so I decided to record it. I let my mother listen to it. I showed my mother all the disgusting text messages her and her dudes were sending me because I later found out she was sleeping with multiple people not to mention she did it again while I was with my girlfriend and me and my girlfriend had to sit and listen to it and then once she heard my girlfriend in the background heard us laughing. She hung up the phone but then was stupid enough to have the guy start texting my phone My mother knows all of this. Me and my girlfriend told her I've let her listen to the videos of it just completely disgusting but my mom is extremely naive she's done it to me my whole life. Tell me that the women I'm with are doing terrible things to me than when I catch them doing it and leave them. She believes everything they tell her and side with them. So last weekend was my little brother's graduation and I was on my way when I almost got there. I texted my mother to see if I needed a ticket. She proceeded to tell me that my ex was on her way and would be there which I do not understand why I still don't just because I have kids with her so I of course told my mother that I will not be coming and I got extremely upset. I don't understand why she would invite my ex to family events knowing what she did to me. Everything she did to me. I don't understand how my mother would even want to talk to her, let alone invite her to family events where I have to see her. This is the woman that was sleeping with someone that was supposed to be my best friend behind my back for well over a year. Doing drugs with him then lying and saying that I was the one doing all these terrible things That's why I said in the beginning it would come into play. I am a licensed PRS which is a pure recovery supporter. I have been in recovery for coming up on 6 years. I have been clean. I have worked my ass off to get where I am today. I have a beautiful home that I have had for 5 years now. I have a nice little car collection going. I'm happier than I've ever been and I have worked so hard to get here and it hurt me so bad that my mother the person that was telling me the entire time my ex was doing me dirty can just turn around and believe her lies and manipulations and side with her and then invite her to family events knowing for a fact what she did to me when my mother seen it with her own two eyes. And I do have a short fuse. I have a temper. I do kind of blow up but they are always reactions to someone else's actions and I told my mom how it made me feel and how it hurt me and she somehow turned it around on me and acted like I'm being ridiculous and then she lied to my other family members and told them that I told her I wasn't coming to my little brother's graduation. I was going to my girlfriend's daughters which wasn't true. We drove separate. I took our car and they rode with her mom to go to her daughter's high school and I went to my little brother's And then the second line she told was she had no idea that my ex was coming. How could you tell people you had no idea she was coming when you texted me telling her she was coming there for you. Talk to her on the phone and knew she was coming so my mother rather than to just admit that she was wrong. Would rather twist it around on me and make it seem like I'm being completely ridiculous and make it look like I'm lying all I'm guessing so she doesn't have to feel a certain way or look a certain way. But hey I guess I'm the asshole for getting upset over her inviting. My ex that cheated on me was doing drugs. Spending our money put me in thousands of dollars in debt and calling my phone while she's having sex with other people and then letting them text my phone. These are all the things that I brought up to my mother and she still don't feel like she's wrong. A matter of fact, so much so that she was texting my current girlfriend in trying to trash me with the lies that my ex has made up about me. My own mother trying to trash me to my new girlfriend rather than admit she's wrong and all she did was make herself look really terrible to my new girlfriend because she is nothing like the other women I've dated. She's not trashy she's not a hypocrite a liar, a drug addict. She's an honest, good, genuine, amazing woman. So am I really an asshole and ridiculous for getting upset with my mother that keeps inviting my ex to family events. Oh one last thing. Here's an even better one. After my brother's graduation my mom had a little pool party and invited the whole family except for me. I didn't get a phone call and guess who was there my ex. You know how that made me feel to drive by my mother's house and see it. Hopping with my whole entire family and a party going on and I don't even get a phone call. But somehow I'm the asshole and I'm ridiculous and this is how my mother has always done me. Oh yeah, not to mention my sisters as well but this is narcissistic parents not siblings. I can get into some crazy stories about them too because they are guilty of it as well. They will decide to be friends with my ex's that did me horribly wrong and they never want to be friends with them while we're together. They hate them while I'm with them but then after they hurt me and do disgusting shit to me and break my heart. That's when my sisters want to be friends with them. It's just I don't know. It leaves me flabbergasted that my family is like this. The shit that women have done to me. Let's just put it this way if someone did the things that my ex's have done to me to one of my family members. Not only would I not speak to them or have them around but I would probably catch a serious charge. But no hey not my family. Hey the worst. She'd do my family member the more I'm going to like you. That's how they are. Anyways, now I just feel like I'm venting on Reddit. Thanks for listening guys. I would really love your guys's opinions on this though. Am I in the wrong here? I don't feel like it and the only person in my entire family or anyone that's aware of the situation has told me my mother is in the wrong but she is the type. I've never heard an apology from her and she does not take accountability for her actions whatsoever I don't know. Will someone tell me if I'm just being crazy because that's what she's trying to make me feel like I told her she's just like my ex's would rather lie on me than just admit she's wrong

For a little background, my biological dad committed suicide two years ago. My mother had already found someone (my step dad) while my dad was alive, and after his death, he instantly moved in with us. At first I liked it, I was grieving, and it felt safe to have him around. But it has been two years, and I feel like he just simply poked his nose into our family, and wedged himself right in the middle of us.
I am not a cleaning freak, neither can I keep our home spotless for long periods of time, but I clearly remember before my step dad, that the house was never ever this dirty. Whenever he cooks, the kitchen is left for either myself or my mother to clean up. We have two toilets, and the one he uses is always disgustingly dirty. He sometimes doesn't bother to flush the toilet, and refuses to open the window. Whenever he spills or makes something dirty, he rarely cleans it, leaving me to do plus work. The bathroom is a mess, he throws his dirty clothes on my pyjamas or clean towels, leaving it there even though they stink and are dirty. He once put the toilet brush into the bucket next to the toilet instead of it's designated spot. He never helps around our house, he's either asleep or on his phone, but whenever we go over to his place, it feels like we're expected to help him clean. Not to mention his horrible temperament problems, that I have a hard time dealing with ever since my father died. I love my stepdad, he's funny and nice, but so incredibly lazy and aggressive, that I simply cannot handle him sometimes. I see that my mum loved him, and it feels like that I am the asshole for simply not completing whatever he was lazy to do. I really need some advice, because no matter what I or my mother say, he keeps doing it.

My old friend texted me a few months ago asking possibly reconnect. I told her I’d think about it. It’s taking me a while to find a proper response to her. I either feel angry/ upset about everything or I miss her, it’s on and off like mood swings kinda lol. I was wondering would it be an alright idea to maybe suggest trying to be friends again later in life? We’re both in high school right now so I was thinking maybe try again when we’re older and have experienced life more I guess? lol
Explanation:
I was in a friend group with G and A. Then J joined. We started dating not long after. It was my first relationship. There were a lot of arguments between her, G and A at the time. A week or 2 after J had first joined our group she was talking to G and saying that A was annoying and that she didn’t like that I didn’t talk much and that I needed to speak up. Like me and her wagged one time together and she asked G for notes from the lesson that day. G said no and that it was bad and J got annoyed at her. Then after school we got caught by a teacher and J messaged G calling her like a snitch or something rude related to that.( I’ve since reconnected with G and shes told me stuff from her pov. J said she was more of a teenager than me, G and A. Me,G and A were super nerdy lol still are I think. She was private texting me one day how I’m incompetent and bringing people down with my fake bullshit cus I was making self deprecating jokes about myself(which was something I just did to say how I felt I didn’t want attention, G and A did this too, it was like a humour thing for us). She said that I was like a little dog who does everything everyone else does cus I can’t do things for myself. Said I need to actually try to change or else people will use me and leave me. Said no one’s gonna care about me when I die cus I live on a floating rock to stop me from thinking everything is gonna ruin my life cus it’s annoying. She was also drunk texting me one night saying she loved me and stuff cus we were broken up for like a week or 2 cus of her mum. She said A was manipulative(she was right but she was really harsh about telling A) and that people are just going to use me. One time in the gc J made a joke about how she doesn’t know why she gets molested so much. I said I’m sorry that happens and ended up going on some rant where she was talking about how nice people are annoying and all fake and that she wants someone who would be real with her and wants to just have fun. was just us 2 for a few months. I remember one time she put a bit of slime in my hair one day after I said no and she was washing it out and I was kind of crying and she told me to stop wingeing. I never got fully comfortable around her so I was kinda quiet around her. She said I needed a better music taste. She said my playlist was bad. Eventually she broke things off. We stayed friends even tho I was super up set about it. 2 days later she was telling me how cute this guy in one of our classes was cute. She never dated him she just thought he was cute like valentines day was a week or 2 later and our school had this rose sale. She bought and got a teacher to deliver a rose to him. At some point she stopped talking about that. We hung out with this girl(E) and she told me one day J was talking crap about me to her. I remember hearing J laugh at me with E with her(E wouldn’t laugh tho)during HPE lessons when I’d mess up cus I’m not good with that kinda stuff. I know it was a joke but I just felt bothered about it. I believed her for one reason with no proof. J forgave me. Then apparently E had gone around saying she was glad she didn’t have to talk to me or something like that. I don’t know but J really didn’t like E for a bit there. While we were still friends with J she got like some girls number She had a crush on and I just hated listening to her talk about this girl. I was still just so upset about the break up for ages lol. I’m okay now tho lol. She was my only friend but I just felt so upset around her and she was so judgy and she could be pretty rude too. She started talking to more people. She became friends with the girl (AL)she had a crush on(Nothing happened cus that girl was with someone) she started talking with this girl AM a lot. I felt just awkward being with them they were loud and I just felt so uncomfortable like wrong vibes with this girl. I don’t mean to be stuck up I just I don’t know. J and I started talking a lot less. She’d only really message if she needed something like I remember we hadn’t talked in a few days and she asked if I could submit her science assessment for her cus she wasn’t going to school that day. And another was to just walk with her to school to help incase she got bashed by this person and their friends. When she still had a crush on A we went camping for like 2-3 nights. I was super upset about the break up crap and hearing her talk about AL hurt. The last night there we talked in our tent about it and she said stuff about her life choices. I can’t remember all I can is when she said ‘What we had before will never happen again’ At the start of a school term on the first day back me and J had art. She didn’t talk to me much and just left with (AL) and all I got was a message the start of the next lesson ‘wagging bbg’ for some reason I got so angry from that( I feel like it may have been a lot of pent up stuff) that I unadded her on Snapchat, insta and tik tok. I wagged the next 2 and a half days of school avoiding her and then she had left school early and she was walking near me and she called me and then we just went back to her house, scrolled on our phones for the lesson and never brought it up again. One day I left during school to go to her house with her during break. We got back to school and she went to go sit with AL and said she’d sit with me second break. She went with AL at second break they were together all lesson talking. There was a HPE lesson where she said ‘Interesting fashion choice’ with a face, to me cus I was wearing leggings under my skort cus it was cold lol. On my birthday G messaged me saying happy birthday. I didn’t tell J straight away cus I didn’t know if she’d care really cus we werent close then. J didn’t message me. She did say happy birthday to me at school tho and bought me a present. I was with her and AM at first break and A said You have to talk if you want to be involved. In this kind of loud tone that I don’t know it just made me more uncomfortable. I ended up crying thru the next lesson then I wagged the rest of school. J just walked off with her talking friends that break. In a HPE lesson J and AM were behind me and then J flicked my bra strap so then I turned around and said ‘can you not?’ But I sounded really annoyed I kinda was tho. Then I heard Am talking with J and she said something about me being in a pissy mood. I didn’t get an instagram birthday post like Js other friends.Or a international gf day picture put up on her story like all her other friends. After a month of talking with G without J knowing J found out. I wanted to tell her but I was procrastinating it cus I wasn’t sure how she’d react. Like if she cared or not. I was sitting alone at break one time, G came and sat with me. While we were talking, J and AL saw us in the distance cus they were leaving to wag. J messages me on snap calling me a fucking snake and a fake bitch and then we meet at the park later so we can talk.(was my idea) I can’t remember everything but I know she said I was fucked(like messed up in the head) and that I went behind her back and that G hurt her. After some discussion( I can’t remember any of it) she forgave me and I thought I was okay to talk to G still for some reason. She caught me talking to G and got angry at me 2 more times. Then she had an in school suspension one day. I was leaving school with G. J,AM and another girl(she didnt yell or we’ll I couldn’t hear her if she did) make like these monste animal sounds at me? Then further up me and G were walking along a foot path and across the road J, AM walking down the path yelled “FUCK YOU” at us from across the road. We stopped at this park and J was snap chatting me messages I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not so I asked and she said it’s not a joke idiot we’re not friends anymore. A week later I get a message saying she needs to talk to me. She apologizes and asks if I still want to be friends. She also tells me she’s friends with E again too lol. I just say okay and then I really didn’t talk to her much after that and both of us just stopped talking to eachother at some point. Then months later she messages me ‘I need to speak with you can you call or meet me at my house’ something like that. Then I end up just getting it texted to me cus there was no way in hell I could call her cus I was already bloody panicking from the first message.(Thank you to my poor boyfriend for helping me with that btw lol) she apologized about everything. Said she had been jealous of me hanging with other people, she was insecure she knows she’s hurt me and made me feel horrible about a lot of things, stuff like that. She also asked if I wanted to be friends or atleast talk again or if I wanted her to. She also said I could just get her to completely leave me alone if I wanted. I told her I needed time to think about it, she sent a thumbs up. A few weeks later I ask why didn’t she say dirty sooner and how did she figure all that out?. My message was green and I couldn’t see the status of it so I think she blocked me. Other drama stuff happened while I was still friends with her and stuff but I can’t remember it right now. I’ve seen her at school and honestly she still seems the same. Like with her friends she’s still loud and I don’t know like immature?? She seems the same as when I was friends with her. Also I still kind of feel like I was in the wrong for being too sensitive and just I don’t know why. so like if I was the toxic one here after reading this please let me know cus I’m still iffy about whether I was or not I don’t know.

It's running down my cheek, my god does it feel so good. Nothing else matters in this moment except the juicy feeling of my pores soaking it all in, my skin bathing in the warm glory drop by glorious drop. Is it orgasmic? Fuck, you know it is, nothing beats the feeling of blood pouring down my face, trickling down my neck and all over my body.
I'm washing myself in it right now, it's getting all over my phone as I type these words. I lick the corners of my mouth just to taste the sweetness as it passes by my lips, I can't get enough. It eclipses the senses, the smell, the taste, the very sound of it dripping off of her stone cold body makes me want to cum. That's right, 'her.' She talked too much, she wanted what was mine, what was all meant to be mine all this time and now I'm bathing in her death, it's all so beautiful, this artwork I'm creating. I can paint words into the ground with the blood, tell my story, write about her life just before it was all taken away but why the fuck would anyone care.
Whores don't deserve to be remembered nor should they exist.
I have her in chains above me, lifeless eyes staring down at me, devoid of emotion, nothingness personified in her pupils. Did she cry before she died? SHE wept, oh yes she wept! Like the weak bitch she was! A failure in death as in life.
I hold her liver in my hand and tenderly caress it before taking a gentle bite. I take the entrails hanging above my head from her stomach and wrap them around my neck like a necklace. I lick her dead cunt wildly, feasting on what's left of her sex before finally ripping the hooks from her flesh to let her dead weight fall into the pool of blood I bathed in, oh how good it feels dripping down my breasts.
Infidelity doesn't go unrewarded, the things we'll do together I think. She'll be my magnum opus. I'll make so many portions out of your beauty, your heart will make a good casserole, your bones will be the broth that makes me become stronger than you ever were. I'll make clothes from your skin and wear your eyes as if they were my own, oh my I'm wet just thinking about it. Do I feel guilty? Not in the slightest, these feelings boil deep inside me and the hunger is insatiable.
I weathered the storm, the harshest of trials and now I'm here dancing with your corpse, kissing it tenderly like you kissed him. I'm fingering you darling, do you feel it way on high? I hope you feel humiliated, may you never find peace my girl. I brought you into this world and I've hated you ever since you first saw the light. Your dirty thoughts betrayed you, you always saw dear old daddy like he was your everything! But....he was mine!!
Lust will get you killed, my envy became a monster that slew the beast that was you, your treachery will never be forgiven. The violence surrounding me now is all I have left, my love will taste your gluttony as I have. You could never escape the chaos of this world, a pathetic sloth since you existed was all you ever were. All the greed in this world will flicker out like candles as long as I keep killing people like you over and over again.
There will be a nice, hearty meal waiting for HIM. You know how he gets when he's hungry, he's insatiable. Don't worry dear, I won't let you go to waste. I'll treat you as gently as I did to your sweet sister.
Gently, yes, I'll treat you gently.

(This is a press release and not marketing material. See bottom of post on how to opt-out)
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Kinective Media by United Airlines is the only media network that uses insights from travel behaviors to connect customers to personalized advertising, experiences and offers from leading brands
Advertising technology platform uses United's data to create anonymized audience segments that marketers can reach on the airline's mobile app, inflight entertainment screens and more
United is already working with dozens of global brands and agencies including Norwegian Cruise Line, Macy's, Chase United Co-Brand Credit Cards, TelevisaUnivision, IHG Hotels & Resorts and Dentsu
Commercial launch planned at Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity

United Airlines today announced the launch of Kinective Media by United Airlines - the first media network that uses insights from travel behaviors to connect customers to personalized, real-time advertising, content, experiences and offers from leading brands.
The new technology platform gives marketers the opportunity to scale their reach across a wide range of channels including United's award-winning mobile app and inflight entertainment screens. And the airline expects its MileagePlus® members will receive additional value through more personalized and real-time offers and experiences that drive even greater loyalty.
Kinective Media is already working with brands such as Norwegian Cruise Line, Macy's, Chase United Co-Brand Credit Cards, TelevisaUnivision, IHG Hotels & Resorts, as well as agency groups like Dentsu. The focus is on premium brand relationships across key verticals such as retail, luxury goods, financial services, automotive, media brands and travel.
Kinective Media plans a formal commercial launch at the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity.
"We've built a first-of-its-kind, real-time, adtech-enabled traveler media network where brands have already started connecting to premium audiences at an unmatched scale," said Richard Nunn, CEO of MileagePlus. "Unlike some commerce media platforms, United gives brands across a wide range of industries the ability to reach engaged customers throughout the entire marketing funnel – from brand consideration to conversion – in a way that's highly personalized and relevant, and we're already seeing impressive results. There has been a huge strategic shift within this high growth sector in the past five years where advertisers and brands have come together to determine how best to connect with consumers in a way that's valuable, effective and personalized.
"Kinective Media aims to enhance the travel experience while growing the trust that travelers place in United. Advertisers cannot access the personally identifiable information of United customers - instead, Kinective Media leverages the insights of U.S. customers aged 18 and over to create aggregated and anonymized audience segments that it offers to Kinective Media advertisers. All U.S. customers have the option to opt-out of Kinective Media targeted advertising at any time. (link below)
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United's Mobile App and Inflight Entertainment Screens
Kinective Media partners can scale their content through two of United's most impactful media channels, among others: its award-winning mobile app and the growing number of inflight entertainment screens across the airline's fleet, which are among the most addressable media assets in the industry.

• The United Mobile App – United has the world's most downloaded airline mobile app, with 110+ million total downloads across IOS & Android and nearly 100 million sessions per month.
• United continually seeks to add new, industry-first features to help travelers save time and make the travel experience even easier including the ability to automatically switch from a middle seat to a window or aisle if it becomes available by choosing a seat preference in the seat map, and live personalized flight notifications with Live Activities for iPhone.
• Seatback Entertainment – United has nearly 100,000 seatback screens across its fleet, with plans to grow these numbers as the airline takes delivery of new airplanes and retrofits existing aircraft as part of its United Next plan.There is the potential for 3.5 hours of attention per traveler, based on average flight time. United's seatback screen content – which is also available on customer's personal devices –includes free access to more than 2,800 movies and shows, as well as a new 3D moving map, personalized connecting gate information and digitized food and drink menus. The inflight content is available in more than 20 different languages.The new United signature interiors include 16-inch HD touch screens in each United Polaris® business class seat, 13-inch screens in every first class seat and 10-inch screens in every United Economy seat.

For more information about Kinective Media by United Airlines, visit https://kinectivemedia.com/
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As mentioned above, to opt-out of Kinective Media targeted advertising, use the following link.
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https://preview.redd.it/k9gk63u6855d1.jpg?width=599&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffa3499b44cdb6fca658afe60d3234ecc6e8f870

hi guys, not sure if this is the right place to ask this question but I'm a bit confused on smth.
Short story is that my airpods pro (lightning port) charges when it's plugged into USB C to lightning cable but doesn't work when using a USB A to Lightning Cable.
I plugged in my airpods pro to charge last night and woke up to it at 11%. I was really confused and thought the cable might be acting up so I unplugged and plugged it in again but that wasn't working. I plugged it into the USB C to lightning cable and it started charging. I was wondering if I broke the USB A cable somehow but it can charge my iPhone 14 pro and my iPad 6th gen just fine. I left my home and tested it again when I got home and it was the same thing. I used to charge it using the same cable before and it used to work but I'm not sure what changed. if the port is dirty then it wouldn't work with the other charger but it consistently does. not sure what's going on and some insight would be a lot of help. ty!

As "Always" I write these characters as flesh and blood, not a manipulation of the series. Don't get me wrong, I love Castle, but I also recognize that they wrote these characters to keep them apart for as long as they could, but as a fan of the characters, I believe as tons of fanfiction writers believe that the ridiculous endings to season 2, and Countdown, Love and Die in L.A. and Rise just to name of few would never have happened between these two characters. (In my opinion only) I'm not here to tell anyone else how to think, but I enjoy writing things as I believe they would have played out.
There will be an epilogue at the end. I hope you enjoy.
Title: A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE
xxxxx
They were huddled on the floor of a metal container. Castle felt the heat from his body ebbing away. He loved the woman he was cradling in his arms with all of his heart; he lost count the times that he wanted to tell her how much he loved her, and would never have admitted this to anyone, but dying while holding Kate Beckett in his arms would not be the worse way to go.
He felt 2 fingers touch his chin and heard his partner say:
"Castle... thanks... for always being there", Kate murmured.
Castle wanted to scream. He wanted to yell at the universe, hadn't they suffered enough, hadn't she suffered enough? He already knew that this woman was it for him, there would be no other, and at that moment the only thing that came to him to say was... "Always".
Kate thought to herself as she felt she was on her last breath, "Always", that's the second time she had heard that word in the last 2 weeks, he had said it after he had pummeled Lockwood with his fists. While he was getting his hand wrapped in the ER unit, she had said to him, "Thanks for having my back in there," and she remembered him looking at her with so much love in his eyes and said "Always". She had wondered what that word meant to him and now he was saying it again. She needed to let him know something before it was too late.
"Castle...Castle", she said barely above a whisper "I just want you to know... how much... I love you". She felt Castles head bang into her shoulder. She panicked and said with her last dying breath, "Castle...Rick", and as she felt herself fall into oblivion, her last thought was that at least she would die in the arms of the man that she loved.
xxxxx
Kate was standing outside with a blanket wrapped around her. They had been apparently rescued by the boys, when Castles daughter Alexis had called the precinct and told them that somethings was wrong, because her dad was not answering his cell phone. Kate had been up and around, for 20 minutes or so, but had been worried about Castle. She had also found out that her boyfriend Josh had not gone to Haiti. Amidst the noise of sirens and swirling lights, reporters, and flash bulbs popping she heard yelling, "Beckett...Beckett". She smiled and yelled out, "I'm over here Castle".
While waiting for him, Kate started running through the last few weeks in her head. When did she start to accept mediocrity. She had asked Josh to stay... Why?... Just a few hours ago, she had talked to Castle about wanting to have someone in her life that she could dive into it with. As she saw Castle leave the ambulance, a moment of clarity came over her. In the freezer, she told him that she loved him. It's always been him. That man walking over to me, is the one that's always been by my side, and having that near death experience made her more determined than ever, that she would no longer accept mediocrity anymore.
Castle stumbled out of the ambulance and saw Kate leaning up against a police car. Trying to get his legs underneath him, he staggered over and stood next to her. "Are you okay Kate"? he asked.
Of course, he would think of her first. Kate smiled back and said, "I'm fine Castle, and I'm so glad to see you're okay too".
Castle saw that Kate's eyes were looking over at her boyfriend Josh. He was standing just outside of the ambulance looking back at Kate and smiling. Castle was so disappointed that Josh was back, as he knew that Kate had asked him to stay. "I see that Dr. Motorcycle Boy didn't go to Haiti', he said trying to keep the sadness from his voice.
"Yeah, I guess he decided to stay" Kate replied.
"So, what does that mean to you"? Castle asked even though he didn't want the answer
Kate looked back at him for the longest time and said to his surprise, "Actually Castle it means nothing to me. The more that I think about it, the more I realize that: Number one: I had to beg him to stay which really isn't fair to him. He loves what he does, and it's something that helps people all over the world. Number two: Because it's his work, he'll just end up going away at some point in time anyway, and Number 3: Like I told you in that radiation tent. I need someone that will be there for me, and I will be there for him, and we can just dive into things together. That will never be him, and that's what I'm going to tell him. Besides, there's someone else I care more about anyway".
As Kate started to walk away, she turned to Castle and said, "Castle, wait for me and don't go anywhere without me. Got it"!
"Not going anywhere Beckett", he chuckled.
She smiled as she started to walk over to Josh.
xxxxx
Castle stared at her as she left, then felt the presence of someone behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw it was Agent Mark Fallon from Homeland Security.
Fallon said," When I first saw you two, I thought that you two were together, now I find out that she's with that doctor over there".
Castle turned and smiled, "I'm not so sure about that anymore". Fallon and Castle watched as Beckett approached the doctor. They saw the doctor reach out to wrap his arms around Beckett, but they saw her backing up. They looked at the doctor's face, which went from surprise, and then what looked like hurt, and then they saw his arms waving around. At first Castle and Fallon heard nothing, because of the distance and noise surrounding them, but as the conversation continued on, they started to hear Josh's voice getting louder and louder. Kate had spun on her heals trying to get away, but Josh grabbed her shoulders and turned her back towards him.
Fallon grabbed at Castle as he saw him starting to move Kate's way. Fallon said, "Castle, you're just going to piss her off, she's a big girl, she can handle this herself". Then a voice that brought the attention to many in the crowd heard Josh scream, "Are you fucking cheating on me"? and with that they watched as Kate swung and landed her hand across his face that was loud enough to hear. Then she spun around and walked back to Castle. They watched as Josh stormed off cursing and screaming in rage.
Castle looked at Kate's face and knew she was still pissed; he knew better than to ask an angry Beckett anything at this moment. Beckett walked up to Fallon and got in his face. "Well Agent Fallon, have any luck trying find your (Kate air quoted) Terrorists, while Castle and I here figured out the real story".
Fallon looking sheepish said, "Yeah, I feel like a real ass, and all I can do now is apologize, and ask you for your help, because according to what you saw in that van, we have a little over 13 hours. I know you guys suffered border line hypothermia, so go home, warm up, take a shower, but I need you guys back at the precinct as soon as possible".
Castle replied knowing the strain that Fallon has been under and said, "Of course, and while we take a break check into Kevin McCann's military history, I think that he has something going on with other men in his unit. That might give us a starting point, when Beckett and I return".
Fallon took a deep breath and expressed his gratitude and said, "Okay, and thanks. See you. The sooner the better".
Castle looked over at Beckett and said, "Hey Kate, I've sent Mother and Alexis off to the Hamptons, because of the ...you know, how about you and I go back to the loft, I'll turn up the heat and make us my world-famous hot chocolate".
Kate looked at him and laughed, "World famous huh", She smiled and said, "Castle, you had me at turning up the heat, but you better have a better fucking blanket than this crappy one I have on now, because this thing is starting to itch".
Castle laughed and said, "Can't have that now can we. I've got only the best for you Beckett, only the best".
xxxxx
Kate sat all bundled up on Castle's couch at the loft. They weren't kidding themselves. They both understood the gravity of the situation, and that many lives were counting on them, but both of them in some kind of silent understanding just wanted to carve a slice of time out for themselves, before once more heading back into the breach.
She watched Castle in amusement as he hummed and flitted around the kitchen making the hot chocolate. As he approached her with two cups, she looked at him and thought about how often he had stood by her side. That she trusted him like no other, that he was a kind and generous man, and that he had turned into her best friend. It also didn't hurt that she thought he was great looking, and that she had never really noticed just how big his chest and biceps were. She bit her lower lip as Castle handed the cup of hot chocolate to her.
She took a sip and exclaimed, "OMG Castle this is amazing. What's the secret"?
Castle looked around and raised his hand to his face in a conspiratorial gesture, "I add a teaspoon of Nutella. If you like that Beckett, wait till you try my s'morlette's".
Kate scrunched up her noise, "Yeah, if that's what I think it is, I'll pass".
Castle huffed, " Suit yourself, obviously your just not ready for elegant cuisine".
Kate laughed, but then Castle noticed that she had grown silent, all the while picking at some unseen something on her cup.
Castle nudged her arm as they huddled under the blankets, "What's going on in that mind of yours Kate"?
God, she thought, when did she all of a sudden like it when Castle called her Kate. "Rick" she hesitated, "When ...when ...you use the word always to me, what are you saying, what does that word mean to you"?
Castle hesitated, "Before I answer that Kate, I need to know, are you thru now with Dr. Motorcycle Boy for good"?
She sighed, "Well, I'm sure you could tell buy the way he stormed off, and my landing a solid hit to his face that it's over. I'll be honest, I tried to ask him if we could talk about it in a more private place. I tried to apologize for asking him to stay. I'm not fond of unloading my dirty laundry out in public like that, but he wouldn't stop pushing, so I gave him the most honest answer that I could. That I was not interested in him anymore, and really haven't been for a while. I honestly don't even know why I asked him to stay in the first place. Let's just say, that almost freezing to death gave me a new perspective on life. I hate that I hit him, but it started getting really ugly there at the end... So, I'll ask again Castle, what does the word Always mean to you"?
Kate laughed to herself as Castle got up and started to pace back and forth while running his hands thru his hair. Kate swore she had never seen him like this, then Castle blurted out, "I've only used that word on you Kate, and it will be only used on you. It...it means everything. That I'll always have your back, that you can always count on me, that I'll be there for you if you fall, that you mean the world to me...Fuck", he yelled, "It means that I love you. I love you Kathrine Beckett, and I have for a very long time".
Kate smiled, 'That word "Always" is a beautiful word Castle. It sounds really nice... everything you just said sounds really nice".
Castle says in astonishment, "It did?... It does?... Everything I said"?
"Yes, Castle... everything, and I just want you to know that I'm all on board with (she ran her fingers back and forth between them) this...us...whatever were doing". Kate threw off her blanket. She grabbed Castles head with both her hands and planted a soft kiss to his lips. She looked at Castle and said "Well, I'm going to go back to my place, take a quick hot shower, and I'll meet you over at the precinct. Then you and I will figure out a way to stop that fucking bomb. I'm not going to let a bomb keep us from being together, so get your ass down there as fast as you can".
"Kate", Castle said, "This thing between you and me, we can take it as slow as you want too, I'll just follow your lead".
Kate looked over her shoulder as she was about to leave and said, "Slow is good Castle", but then she winked and said, as her eyes darkened with arousal, "But not to slow though, a girl has needs you know. Oh, and by the way, that kiss we had a couple of weeks ago in that dark alley, you were right. It was... Amazing! You think you can top that one"?
Castle laughed, "As a wise and beautiful woman once told me almost 3 years ago", Castle lowered his voice and whispered, "Kate, you have no idea".
She threw her head back and laughed, "I look forward to that. See you soon Romeo", and with that Beckett turned, and waved goodbye as she left the loft.
Castle busied himself with gathering the cups and putting them in the sink when he heard the door open again. He looked up and saw Kate's head poking thru the doorway. Castle said, "You forget something Kate"?
"Yeah, Castle I did. I forgot to tell you ... I love you too"!
As Kate entered the hallways and pressed the elevator button, she smiled when she heard Castle yell, "YES"!
Thats, the day their journey began.
EPILOGUE: 4 YEARS LATER
Kate and Rick have been married 2 months now. When they returned from their honeymoon, they found out that Kate was 6 weeks pregnant.
Castle was humming the tune "In My Veins" while making his wife's favorite dinner. He heard the door open and his wife yell out, "I'm home Babe...Oh man, what smells so good".
"I'm making my wife her favorite. Chicken Alfredo, with my world-famous secret sauce. Also, a nice salad to go with it".
He heard his wife whine, "I hope you made garlic bread too, because baby wants garlic bread".
Castle laughed, "I doubt that our baby has already started making dinner requests".
Kate huffed, "Don't argue with the baby Castle! I want to enjoy food while I can before the puke fest starts. That could be anytime now".
"Oh, it's Castle now, is it? Don't worry my love, the garlic bread is in the oven staying nice and warm", he joked.
Kate smiled and gave her husband a peck on the cheek. Then looked over at the kitchen table and saw a rectangular box sitting on the counter, it was wrapped and had a bow on it.
"Babe, what did you do, what's this"?
Castle came up from behind her, and put his arms around her, and put his head on her shoulder. He said, "It's our 2-month anniversary present, and before you say there's no such thing, I beg to differ. Now, go on, open it already"!
Kate just shook her head at her amazing husband and ripped open the package. She lifted the lid and saw the most dazzling charm bracelet that she'd ever seen. It was platinum sliver with diamond chip inlays. There were 3 charms already attached, each one with its own gemstone.
Kate held the bracelet in reverence, and whispered, "Babe its...it's beautiful! What do all the charms mean"?
"Well honey, I wanted these charms to tell our story, and then add to them as future stories unfold. This one here that looks like a book actually has engraved on it in very small letters "Heat Wave". Our story of when I first started following you".
Kate saw what looked like baby shoes, "Is that for our baby Rick"? as a tear fell on her cheek. He watched as his wife started running her fingers over the shoes, and his heart melted. Castle knew that she was going to be an amazing mother.
Castle whispering in her ear said, "Yes honey, and can you guess what that last one is, because it's the third most important day of my life".
Kate held it in her hand, and turned it over, she saw what looked like a square metal box, that had two huge doors in front. She turned and looked at Castle and said in awe, "The freezer container? That's the third most important day of your life"?
"Of course, Kate, it's the day that you told me you loved me. That's the day that you became mine".
Kate wasn't the wordsmith like Castle was, so she tried to show him in her kiss. She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his and poured every ounce of her love into that kiss.
It was a kiss that screamed about how much it has meant to her that he has stood by her side thru all things. Dismantling the bomb, the sniper attack, taking down Bracken, never letting her fall down the rabbit hole, always having her back, and giving her their word "Always". He has been the one constant in her life, and she loved him like no other. Kate whispered in her husband's ear, "Thanks for always being their Babe".
Castle remembering Kate saying those exact words when they were in the freezer said, "Love you Mrs. Castle".
Kate smiled, "Love you more Mr. Beckett... but Baby still wants her garlic bread".
"Yes Dear".