Background: together for 8 months.. she broke my trust a couple of times and I forgave her… been through a lot.. she also had a miscarriage.. She (F27) dumped me (M40) 2 weeks ago cause she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship, wanted to get closer to her religion etc. She wrote me a long message that She still loves me and wants to fix herself up to shower me with love etc and will come back when she is ready.. she wanted to be friends and I said no. Anyway it was my birthday yesterday and she sent me this at 10:42pm:
Happy Birthday <<>>. I know this message comes a little later than most, but I couldn’t let this day pass without sending my wishes your way. Despite any distance or time between us, I still wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I hope this message finds you well and that God’s love continues to surround you, guiding you with wisdom and showering you with abundant blessings.
I do want her back but I feel she is a little toxic and has power in our relationship. It’s been 8hours (6:51am now) since the text… how do I respond?
Was thinking to just say “Thx” or “Thank you” .
If she loved me so much why did she leave is all I think about. I do love her.. that’s the problem.
TL;DR; How do I respond to her birthday message? I feel like she is playing games

Hello everyone!! I am going on a trip to Old Montreal this June with my boyfriend for his birthday. I was looking for recommendations within walking distance of Notre-Dame because we are staying close by. I have been looking at going to the Vieux-Port Steakhouse. Thank you :)

I know nothing about stained glass, but I rescued this piece from the trash with the hopes of repurposing it. I was hoping that I could get the writing off of it so it would just be a plain banner that people can then write whatever they want for the appropriate occasions throughout the year (with dry erase markers maybe?) like Happy birthday! Merry Christmas! or whatever... The writing looks to be baked on I think. I have tried scraping it with a razor blade, I let paint remover gel sit on it for 1/2 an hour, and nothing is working. I have Googled about getting paint off of stained glass, but nothing comes up for this exact situation. Is it possible? Would I have to take some kind of sander or grinder to get it off? Thanks for any help!
https://imgur.com/a/oNgbHuB

I (23 F) have been friends with this woman (23 F lets call her BEBE) since my freshmen year of high school. After high school, we still remained good friends and really we became closer after graduating hs. We ended up going to different universities, BEBE decided to go to a private university out of state and I decided to stay in state for college. BEBE dropped out of school during the second semester of freshman after struggling academically, and financially to keep up with tuition, and as a result, she began to struggle mentally. During BEBE's time out of school, she went to a community college on and off due to not being able to keep her grades up and she lost scholarships because her grades were too low so she had to work to pay for community college (she still stays at home and her mom was not helping her pay for school anymore since she was still paying off the loan from the university). Our friend group suggested that she take a break from school to get right mentally and financially. We have had multiple conversations about comparing her journey to others and how we are all on our own timeline. Right before my undergraduate graduation BEBE car was repoed and our other friend (lets call her Mia) had a birthday so I know it would have been difficult for her to attend my undergraduate graduation, she also said that it would have been difficult for her mentally to attend because she wasn't graduating. I respected that at the time. I was accepted into a one-year accelerated graduate program. During that one extra year of school, BEBE came down to my school to party multiple times, we took roads trips, and attended family events with each other (every time I would drive back home I tried my best to see her, like EVERYTIME even seeing her over my own best friend sometimes because she stayed closer to my mom's house). As my graduate graduation is approaching I told my friend group that I wouldn't be able to attend Mia's birthday plans this year because I had work, finals, and my graduation was the weekend following her birthday(which was on a Friday) ( honestly I was completely overwhelmed with a lot of things at the time and I was completely transparent about how overwhelmed I was feeling). I had told them multiple times that my graduation was coming up but BEBE and Mia never even acknowledged I said anything about my graduation ( I never gave them details because they never asked and honestly I wasn't expecting them to come because they didn't attend last year). On top of that my car was stolen right before I had to go and take a final exam, THREE days before my graduation, and the day before Mia's birthday this year, I was literally devastated and really just needed my family and friends support. We have a group chat ( Me, BEBE, Mia, and our other friend Sarah). In the group chat, the day of my graduate graduation, Mia was upset with Sarah because she fell asleep on Mia's birthday plans (activity was scheduled for 8 PM but it didn't happen until 11:30 PM), Mind you Sarah stays about 45-60 mins away from the activity and was waiting for them to tell her to leave out. BEBE follows up with a message saying that it felt like nobody cared about Mia's birthday. So I responded by saying I apologize for not being as enthusiastic about Mia's birthday this year but it was literally because I was overwhelmed which I expressed to them before that day and that I was dealing with my car being stolen (I haven't told them up until this point because I had no time to process this on top of making sure I finish my classes strong and I was still quite upset about it and didn't want to keep thinking about it). They never acknowledged my message... so I sent another text saying how I was upset that they didn't put in any effort to come to either of my graduations. after that BEBE and Mia were saying they felt the friendship was unequal, they were never formally invited, and that they weren't talking to me originally but yet they kept using "yall" and using other plural words instead of messaging Sarah separately or being direct. Mind you this is a couple hours before my graduation and they still didn't even acknowledge that it's my graduation day, didn't get a congratulation or even checked to see if I was okay after having my car stolen and expressing to them I was overwhelmed. Then BEBE and Mia started saying why should they tell me congratulations soo early when they didn't know what time my graduation was and the fact I didn't tell Mia happy birthday until the evening time on her actual birthday ( less not forget my car was stolen the day before and I was also at work trying to make calls to my insurance agent ). I never formally gave them details because they never asked or even acknowledged I said anything about my graduation. Then they went on to say they didn't even have a ride to my graduation but im like yall could've rode with Sarah but then BEBE goes she had to look after her 16 year old twin brothers......... and she wasn't attending no ones graduation because she isn't graduating. Personally I feel that is so selfish!!!!!! like I understand she's not graduating but like I just needed my friends' support during a difficult time. her saying she couldn't celebrate my accomplishments and perseverance because she's not where she wants to be in life is so not fair and it feels like she's in secret competition with me. BEBE states like she still mentally is struggling to deal with graduation season and personally I just feel like I am struggling mentally too and I have been a good friend to her through all her mental break downs so her not showing up for me is her simply being a fake friend, only wanting to party, drink, and smoke but when I needed her just to show up as a friend (and not for her to compare her life to mine) she couldn't and I am so disappointed. She ended up leaving the group chat and I am willing to lose this friendship because I feel I have really show up her on so many different occasions whether it be mentally and even financially. After all of that I just wanted to get a different perspective to see if I should've gave her more grace or no? Thank you for coming to my TED talk and appreciate yall POV!

Hello all. Seeking some advice/opinions/perspective from the wise women here. Long post coming! I (35F) have been dating my boyfriend (40M) for about 15 months. He has a daughter (7 yo) who up until approximately 5 months ago was living with her mother in another state. Five months ago, the mother got into some trouble with the law (drug use issues), resulting in him now having his daughter full time in the state we live in.
The first ~12 months of our relationship, I grew accustomed to it just being him and I (we live separately but ~15 minutes away from each other) - going to dinner, happy hour, concerts, plan trips, etc. Doing whatever we want/whenever we want. Having his daughter around full time obviously has changed the dynamic. Although the three of us spend time together often, I can't help but start to have doubts about the relationship moving forward. It is an evolving situation but his plan is to fight for full legal custody of his daughter, but he has not started the process yet so not sure what it will look like in the future if/how the mother will have more involvement. He is great guy, I love him and we get along well and I was enjoying the trajectory of our relationship, but I can't help but miss the way things were for the first year of our relationship. He has no immediate family nearby to help out so I know this has been an adjustment for him as well - taking care of her, balancing work, and his relationship with me. His daughter is a great kid and we have fun together, but just not sure if I "fit" into the equation. I do not have any children of my own and have never really envisioned myself having children or becoming a stepmom. I was hopeful of a future together - moving in together, marriage, etc. but feel now that the new situation will cause a delay in these plans and not sure I am the right person to take on a full 'step mom' role. I am not opposed to dating men with children, I think it's just the fact that right now he is caretaker 100% of the time has made it difficult for us to have solo dates (maybe 4 in the last 5 months) and even intimate time. It's a tough situation due to the mother's history of drug use and I think he is absolutely doing the right thing for his daughter to keep her safe. He is doing his best - I think it is just up to me to decide if I fit in.
Anyone ever been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it? I feel hesitant to "discard" this relationship prematurely without knowing how the future situation with the two parents/custody will evolve. But also feel torn that I don't want to waste time in a situation that isn't 'ideal' for me. Any input/guidance/words of wisdom are appreciated!

This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.

Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Hi all , I am F(30) and recently realize that I have outgrown my friendship with my best friend F(30). I have been her friend for 15 years now we studied in same batch for 4 years . We shared most of our stories and advices years after year and were there for each other. We were last of our girl friends to stay together and maintain connection even after our work pulled us apart . COVID actually bought us closer as we maintained long distance friendship as well as were supportive when it comes to mental health.
Cut to this year she went through a bad break up with her long term boyfriend who were supposed to get married this year (won't go in details as its her personal life). It took a while for her to recover from sucidal thoughts , anxiety and depression . As soon as she told me this I informed her mother and ask her to inform her nearby friends. I was then busy with my work and was not in much touch with her just small texts. And then after few weeks we had our regular weekends calls. She was happy and good plus she informed me she is over him . In later calls she was engged with post break-up stuffs like drinking , clubs and making out, owning pets etc. which is okay as this was her first break up and she needs to let it out.
At same time she also told me she made out with her collegeue which made her more depressed . She asked me certain questions like what will I do in this situation. I told her if doing something makes her more depressed then she woulded be doing it . But if it makes her happy she can enjoy the momemt. Things got uncomformtable for me after that she ask me if i was drunk would i be doing with her collegeue in drunk state . I straight away told her no and i would only prefer guys who i want or find attractive for me . She then questioned about my ex if i would do with him . I said no as i have moved on from him and it has been years. I also told her everyones actions are differnt when it comes to break up. But she kept pushing me telling that how drinking is good and it makes her feel the best. I told her that not the case with me . She also got a pet a month ago and them dropped of at her parents apartment. She just kepted it to herself until it makes her feel good. She also told me about her rouitne which i fould that she is just using other for help to avoid feelings rather than facing it . She refused to take any kind of therepy as well. Her mom also calls me and ask why she is depressed . And I cant tell her what is happing between her and her collegeue.
On other hand I have been working on my goals like physical and mental fitness . I am also focused on my career and financial goals. I dont see any aim in this friendship now . As her opions have also changed with time and does not align with mine . Plus any suggessions from my end were discarded by her. Also i dont see myself walking on the path she is following. If her path is tempory I will be there for her when she wants to improve. In mean time i looking on how to approch this situation.

Background: She dumped me 2 weeks ago cause she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship, wanted to get closer to God etc. She wrote me a long message that She still loves me and wants to fix herself up to shower me with love etc and will come back when she is ready.. she wanted to be friends and I said no. Anyway it was my birthday yesterday and she sent me this at 10:42pm:
Happy Birthday <<>>. I know this message comes a little later than most, but I couldn’t let this day pass without sending my wishes your way. Despite any distance or time between us, I still wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I hope this message finds you well and that God’s love continues to surround you, guiding you with wisdom and showering you with abundant blessings.
I do want her back but I feel she is a little toxic and has power in our relationship. It’s been 8hours (6:51am now) since the text… what do I respond?
Was thinking to just say “Thx” or “Thank you”

im gonna go into full explicit detail about everything that happened from a-z. and i want opinions
i met this guy at a social event and we clicked instantly (as friends because i had another bf at the time and hes gonna become relevant in the story). lets just call the guy at the event john and lets call my ex alex. me and alex broke up about 3 days after i met john and i started to develop feelings for john. me and alex ended up trying to “talk things out” even tho i was just attached and wanted the attachment to wear off. so we were “talking” but we werent exclusive and had no boundaries and i knew i was eventually going to cut alex off because i didnt see a future with him, i just was attached because we had memories and he was my first ever boyfriend
me and john liked each other, on october 7th we kissed. and about 4 days later i met up with alex and “hooked up” which i later found out he sexually assaulted me
i was avoiding john because the entire situation was hard on me and i was tired of having to choose because i was the first girl john ever liked and i felt bad about kissing him and i DIDNT want a relationship (at the time) slowly, john blocked me because he had enough and thats when i realized i didnt want alex anymore. i cut alex off for john. john asked me if i met up with alex after me and him kissed and i said no because my god forsaken self fucking forgot, as much as it sounds like an excuse, its not. i had no memory of seeing alex after me and john kissed. and so me and john started to become exclusive after we met up and talked things out. i told him i didnt see alex after me and john kissed.
we dated and we were so happy until we broke up for a few days because he wasnt ready for a relationship, we got back together and we were happy.
theres the part where i start to fuck up. and i wont deny a single thing i did
theres a guy named eric, or at least we will call him that. i used to “like” eric, not even like i just thought he was cute. nothing too deep. im friends with his girlfriend and she trusts me enough because she knows i feel nothing for him, but she trusts me to come to me whenever they have issues in the relationship because she KNOWS its nothing like that
theres another guy named timmy, timmy and eric go to the same school so theyre in the same class. timmy is spreading shit rumors about me and its no fucking rumor anyone could ignore. it was a rumor where i had a “sex tape”, have 3 bodies, and had sex with john even tho non of it is fucking true. it was getting so bad my friends were getting dms saying “your little friend had sex with her boyfriend and i have proof”. it was so fucking bad. not to mention, im a minor and i live in a small fucking country shit gets spread so fast here. and so i would go to eric as ask him about timmy because i was gonna take legal action against timmy because it was going so fucking far. and john didnt like that. because he knew i used to “like” eric. which i fucking didnt and i just thought the dude was good looking lol
and so i would only speak to eric to ask about timmy and i would let john know about. except this one god forsaken time where i didnt show a fucking continuation of a conversation and he got so mad he started threatening to break up with me
keep in mind, im an anxious attachment and im pretty sure john is avoidant even tho in the relationship he was surely an anxious so i dont know cause we havent spoken in a fucking month lmao
we both are borderline by the way.
so this is a part where i fuck up
the reason why i use the name eric is because eric is like someone who associates himself with eric cartmen from south park, he makes him his entire personality and its just a joke between him and everyone 😭 as immature as it sounds, i dressed up as eric cartmen for characters day in school and i showed eric the outfit because i thought it was funny and didnt think anything of it. i didnt show john but i didnt hide it from him either because i know john would go through my phone and i didnt see anything wrong with what i did, until he went through my phone and saw the chat, keep in mind, i do delete chats with my friends sometimes because i dont want john to see some things because of privacy, not out relationship, but between me and a specific few girls he doesnt like and doesnt want me to be friends with
and so he saw the message and got upset, and i took the hint that this guy just doesnt want me to interact w eric at all and i understood but i understood him way too fucking late and he broke up with me
which for some reason my dumbass was shocked even tho he made it clear that he didnt want me speaking to john so this is where i realized i fucked up
i took it as a lesson and learned to not do it again but i was too late
me and john break up and i wanted him back badly. an hour after the breakup i started posting on my story about a random guy that i made up and acted like i liked him to piss off john and make him jealous which was a bad fucking idea
to me, the more someone doesnt want me, the more i want them. thats how i thought it was
and he found out and got pissed off. he ended up texting alex and found out i met up with alex after me and john kissed. but no one was aware that i was actually sexually assaulted by alex and i found out later because my friend went through the same thing. me and john stayed talking to see if we could work it out and i fucked up by telling him to stop basing our relationship over something from the past that happened over 8 months ago. he got pissed and blocked me
i later found out he followed back the girl he told me not worry about and said he didnt know why he was attracted to her but at same time would say “i dont know if shes actually pretty or if im trying to move on” (as in move on from me) i got so fucking pissed, i texted the girl w my friend we and told her that john was using her and a rebound. john found out, threatened to ruin my life and was so fucking mad over it, but i later then realized he just thought she was pretty and didnt want her like that. i ended up apologizing to john because i wanted him back but it didnt work because he was standing on business lmfao
during this time, my friend told me he would always consider going back to me and missed me and loved me so much. and john did love me. a LOT. he bought me flowers, a ring, everything. like he did everything for me and he did love me so deeply
and now we havent spoken over a month and its slowly killing me because my friend who was close with him said he was dead set with his decision n doesnt wanna get back with me. i dont know if this will change because right now he has new priorities like studies since hes graduating soon. but right now, he seems dead set with his decision even tho his biggest fear was losing me. i saw the way he would talk about me and we were so deeply in love.
but john thinks i cheated on him with what happened with alex. my friend told him he sexually assaulted me but it was very vague and he doesnt know the details.
i was johns first love. first EVERYTHING. we broke up march 18 and last spoke april 19 where he thought i was shit talking him and i proved i wasnt. he later said he was worried about me but right now he doesnt seem to care.
please dont tell me to “let him go”. if u have any other opinions on what u think will happen and if he will come back please let know because i really want him back. my family friend who is a psychic told me he was coming back if this helps lol.
let me know if u guys think hes coming back. this is all fresh but yea.

I (19 F) and my Best Friend (19 F) have been lying to everyone we know that we are cousins.
For context, I have a summer birthday and turn 20 in 2 months. I graduated high school early (as did a lot of people in my area due to covid) and came out to college at 17 the winter semester of 2022. I was at college for a year and a half before I met my now best friend from randomly rooming in an off campus apartment at the beginning of this last school year This was her first year at college, as she is almost a year younger than me, and graduated in 2023. We clicked INSTANTLY and have become inseparably close ever since.
Our entire immediate and extended families all know each other, and we will often take trips and stay with her family. And when my family came into town, she stayed with us the whole time. Our families love each other, and meeting her has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, I feel like I have known her my entire life. My cousins who live in the area all call her cousin, and she comes to all the family functions.
Because we lived together, we share all of our belongings and even grocery shop together. Since we became so close so fast, and stayed at her family's house only a few weeks into the school year, people always asked us how we knew each other and would not believe us when we said we were random roommates. So instead, we started saying we were cousins and nobody questioned it. We became curious if we were actually related as we both have pretty large families, and used the app family tree to see if we were. To our surprise, we were somewhere between 3rd and 5th cousins, I can't quite remember. It was through my Grammy, and our moms sides of the family.
We are close with a few of both my cousins on my mom's side and her cousins fromher mom's side, and both of them just call the other "cousin", and have all accepted the other into the family. We even call each other's parents aunt and uncle as we will see or talk to them frequently. We will stay at each other's family and extended family. Everyone has welcomed the other with open arms into the family, and this made our lie seem even more real. This became so normal to us, that we would forget sometimes that it was sort of a lie. Whenever cousins would come to stay with us during the year, they called us both cousin no matter who's it was.
There were a couple other things that inadvertently helped our case too. For one, she was online at a different school the first semester as she had started college the last year of high school and had to finish it but still wanted to live in the college town she would be attending next semester, so people assumed she moved here to live with me. Second, my mom's mom is called Grammy and her mom's mom is called Gammy so whenever we talk about them, nobody notices that we are saying something different as they are super similar. And lastly, all the cousin's that came to stay with us or that we are close to are all from both our mom's sides and the ones we are still both technically related to.
During the year, we would tell all the people we met and it wasn't ever really an issue. The most people would question is that we don't look super alike as she is blonde and I have dark brown hair with tan skin, so sometimes people would ask how we were related and we would say our moms as both our moms are blonde. Early on we met a bunch of guys that ended up becoming our best friends. I started dating one of the guys in the group a few months later. The 3 of us became super close, and we never told him that we weren't cousins. One of the guys in the group that i'll call B, has two cousins in the group but from opposite sides. Because they were actual cousins, they wanted to know how we were related so we said our moms and when they asked if they were sisters we agreed.
Up until about 6 months ago, this was all there was to it and it wasn't really a big deal or that deep, just kind of funny. But things took a bit of a turn when one of B's cousins E had a thing with one of my actual cousin's roommates. Her roommate accidentally let it slip to E that me and my best friend weren't really cousins. Luckily my cousin gave us a heads up, so we knew they might ask. E ended up telling all of the other guys while they were at the gym that day and my boyfriend texted me saying "Bro no way you guys have been lying to me this whole time" when I asked how, he said "yall aren't even cousins" and then added "by blood".
We probably should have come clean then and there, but we had another one of our friends over who also thought we were cousins and didn't feel explaining to him or everyone that we had been lying for months. So naturally, we doubled down. But my boyfriend didn't believe us and asked for proof. When I said I would find a picture (my mom's family is huge so we could have played it off) he said to show him the family tree app. So we took an ss of our relation to each other and put another ss on top of it so it looked like it said we were just cousins instead of 3rd. That ended the debate as E and the girl never became anything so the guys just assumed it was bad intel, and never asked us about it again.
Now here comes the major problem. My best friend decided to do a year and a half long humanitarian trip and is having a party to say goodbye at her house this weekend. Me and my boyfriend are going up on Thursday (which is in 2 days) and her family is all coming into town. Her dad's mom and her mom's parents will all be there. My boyfriend has been with us when we were on a face time call with her family and her Gammy months ago, and has also met my Grammy, and was even at a family dinner this past weekend. However, since talking to Gammy and meeting Grammy were spaced apart so far he never questioned or asked about it, and we never gave it a second thought. The other day when we were at my Grammy's house, he snapped my best friend who is currently home saying "guess where I am", it was clear he assumed that Grammy was our mutual grandparent so she just went along with it.
We have been lying so long that we don't know what to do about this weekend. We talked to her mom and one of her aunts who know about the situation and they think it is hilarious. It started out as an innocent joke and just letting people assume our grandmas are the same person, but we are so deep in it at this point that we don't know if we should come clean or not.
At this point we have 3 options: 1: we come completely clean, 2: we slightly lie and say we are 2nd cousins which isn't that far from the truth, or 3: lie even more and keep pretending to be first cousins.
Her mom thinks we are in too deep to come clean at this point and is willing to go along with whatever we tell him. We came up with a plan that would further enforce the lie that goes as follows: Her Gammy and my (now dead) grandad were married and had 2 kids: the first one died (my mom has a sister that died as a baby) and the second one was her mom. They divorced after the death as it was hard on the marriage and both got remarried. My grandad to my Grammy, and her Gammy to her grandfather. Gammy got custody of her mom, and both couples had more kids and moved on with their lives.
This would make us half cousins and our moms half sisters. You wouldn't really refer to your half cousin as anything but a cousin, and it would explain why we were weird when people asked if our moms were sisters. Additionally, the sister that died is a real thing and asking anyone about it would make our lie seem true. It is messy enough to where it would be like oh we don't talk about it and he won't want to ask questions, but not messy enough with like affairs and cheating to where it makes our families look bad. Her mom and aunt and cousins will all go along with it as the find the whole thing funny. The issue is, this would make us get involved so deep and having lies that include dead family members feels disrespectful.
At this point I don't know what to do, should we come completely clean now? Should we come partially clean and admit to lying about our mom's being sisters and the family tree app ss being fake? Or do we keep lying and go with everything we've said for a year now? I'm worried that my boyfriend will feel betrayed by everyone lying to him, no matter when it is if it's now or if we keeping lying and he finds out later. I don't want him to be hurt and question other things in our relationship, as this is the ONLY thing I have ever lied to him about. There is a chance that if we keep lying he will never find out, but there's also a chance that he will. I honestly forgot about all of this, and when me an my best friend facetimed a few minutes ago we realized we are so screwed.
Please help lol I feel like an idiot and I don't know what to do 😭

My cousin's relationship with her boyfriend has become increasingly toxic, and despite my concerns from the beginning, she seems blinded by her feelings for him. Now, I find myself blocked from contacting her, and it feels like we're no longer even family. Despite his repeated wrongdoings, she continues to forgive and forget. I'm deeply worried about her future but feel powerless to help. Even worse he thinks that I have ulterior motives for being close to her, believing I may desire something physical, He's dictating who she can and can't talk to online, insisting she only posts pictures of herself or him, and won't let her mention specific male or female friends, not even for their birthdays. He's even making her delete all her old posts and stories about me from Insta. And this is just a small part of how badly he's treating her.
Despite our religious differences - We are Hindu and he's Muslim - that's not my concern; I'm solely focused on my sister's well-being and future. What steps can I take to ensure she's safe and supported?'

I, Leah 27F, have a boyfriend, Mike 31M, who has 2 children, Jack 6M and Brady 4M. For a back story my boyfriend and I had just started dating about 3 months ago, we met at a social event and hit it off from the start. We did move very fast and have talked about when we want to have kids, have plans to move in together, and if I would say yes if he were to ask me to marry him. I know that's crazy, how short of a time that we've been together but I really like this man and his boys.
Recently we have been spending all of our free time together and have been getting into petty arguments- and saying things towards each other that annoy the other person. I don't quite know how to describe what we're going through.
Anyway,
We had a long talk about how we're going to save our relationship because we love each other and are committed to working it out, leaving just isn't an option for either of us.
For the next week we decided on hanging out only on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays(because Jack has soccer games on Wednesdays and Sundays). I know I wouldn't make it to all of them because I sometimes have stuff I have to get done that cant wait, but I am with a man who has kids and I love the kids, I want to be there for important life moments.
Monday comes, we didn't hang out
Tuesday comes and it was my 1 year work anniversary(Really important to me because I worked hard to get where I am and he knows) so he decided that we were going to hang out, everything was great and he took me out to dinner.
Wednesday comes and he texted me telling me that he just got a text telling him that the soccer game was today, and I assumed that I would get picked up and we would go. I get home and I texted him "Are you picking me up for the soccer game?" and he replied with "No, You can go to the Sunday game"
My heart was broken you guys, and as ridiculous as this post feels, I really am still haunted by this.
I didn't really talk to him the rest of the night.
Friday comes and he took me out to dinner and after we had a long talk about how I don't want to be in the picture if he doesn't want me to be apart of his family life moments. I cried because this was the first time he has been in a sport and it was his first soccer game, ever.
The reasons he had for not wanting me there were he "didn't want Jack to be distracted by me"
"He wouldn't have been happy about me being there and would rather have one of us be unhappy than neither of us" The unhappy person being me.
and that he is "sorry that I feel this way and there is nothing we can do about it now"
I feel really hurt by this because in such a short amount of time I feel like a mom but I feel like he just wants to be a single parent.
BTW BM is not in the picture. Not even for the kids.
AITAH?

Hi! so, my boyfriend (and i) have been looking for a black denim fur lined jacket for around a year now. He has quite a long torso, and the general fashion at the minute seems to be more on the cropped side, so he's been struggling to find one that will hit the right spot. He has an unlined denim jacket that he likes that is the same length as regular shirt would be (hitting the middle of the hip sort of thing) and he'd like the same for this jacket. He's tried one from superdry, asos, and another online brand I can't remember and either the quality isn't what he's after or it's simply sitting too high on his hip. I've done some research, but I can't seem to find what i'm looking for, so i thought i'd give reddit a shot! i'd like to try and get it for him for christmas or his birthday (which is at the end of december)
Thank you!

My boyfriend surprised me with New York for my birthday but we don’t know where to go for dinner! My mind went to Din Tai Fung but it looks like they’re not open yet. Any recs?