Company thanksgiving invite lunch
Happy Holidays!
2008.05.27 01:47 Happy Holidays!
For the people who love the time when the Christmas Holidays come around Santa comes and visits us and we celebrate Christmas!
2018.07.09 01:37 raychelpotter Make new friends today
Some of us just moved here. Some of us were born and raised here. For whatever reason in our life right now "we need to make more friends". And frankly that can be hard. Post what you wish to do. You are probably not the only one who has wanted to do it "just not alone".
2024.05.14 06:00 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.
OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.Update: February 27, 2024
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?
OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down
OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.
----NEW UPDATE----
Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.14 05:57 tab_rick Top 10 Bathtub Manufacturers Worldwide in 2023
 | The bathtub sector is a dynamic industry dedicated to meeting the advanced needs of clientele who prioritize luxury and tranquility in their bath experiences. Renowned bathtub producers, including bathtub companies, curate bespoke designs to cater to diverse preferences and necessities. Driven by the growing appetite for upscale bathtubs and comprehensive bathroom amenities, a multitude of manufacturers and enterprises have surfaced. These firms specialize in crafting bathtubs from an array of materials, ranging from solid surfaces and cast iron to innovative composites and natural stone. Together, global bathtub entities, such as bathtub companies, represent a continuously advancing industry, consistently innovating and showcasing a vast assortment of elite bathroom solutions. This post lists 10 top bathtub manufacturers in the world. submitted by tab_rick to KKRsolidsurface [link] [comments] Kingkonreehttps://preview.redd.it/ieqfag6tdb0d1.png?width=307&format=png&auto=webp&s=598012857204001b347ed40eefb5b157cc37d3b8 Company Location: Shenzhen, China Year of Establishment: 2000 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered:
Founded in 2000, KKR initially specialized in the production of material panels. With time, we evolved and strategically positioned ourselves as industry leaders in the solid surface sector. Our products rigorously comply with ISO9001:2015, CE, CUPC, and SGS standards, underscoring our unwavering commitment to international quality benchmarks. Our expansive 15,000 m² manufacturing facility boasts the capacity to produce over 15,000 items per month. Globally, our presence extends across 100 countries, having successfully executed over 1,000 projects. Due to our stringent quality and hygiene standards, premier entities in the hotel industry regard us as their reliable partner. Kingkonree stands as a paramount figure in the industry, acclaimed for its unparalleled excellence in crafting solid surface bathtubs. Each bathtub is meticulously fashioned from elite acrylic solid surface materials, which guarantees remarkable longevity, coupled with impressive resistance to staining, abrasion, and discoloration. A distinctive hallmark of Kingkonree’s solid surface bathtubs is their versatile nature and the breadth of personalization they offer. Patrons are presented with a comprehensive spectrum of colors, patterns, and finishes, empowering them to curate a tailored bathroom environment. In addition, Kingkonree demonstrates proficiency in catering to specific size requisites, guaranteeing impeccable alignment with assorted bathroom layouts. Beyond its commitment to quality, Kingkonree signifies a beacon of environmental stewardship. The inherent non-toxic, non-porous, and sustainable attributes of their bathtubs establish them as a green alternative in the market. In tandem with this ethos, Kingkonree maintains stringent quality assurance protocols, ensuring that every bathtub seamlessly converges with the pinnacle of industry benchmarks. KohlerCompany Location: Wisconsin, USAYear of Establishment: 1873 Types of Business: Design and manufacturing Product Offered: Kohler offers a diverse selection of bath products designed to cater to various preferences and style. Their product line includes alcove bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, freestanding bathtubs, corner bathtubs, jetted/whirlpool bathtubs, and showebathtub combinations. Kohler’s bathtubs are known for their exceptional craftsmanship, durability, and elegant design. About Company Background and Advantages: Founded in 1873 as the Sheboygan Union Iron and Steel Foundry, Kohler has evolved to become a paramount entity in the home appliance sector. Marking its significant milestones, such as the ingenious transformation of a cast-iron horse trough into a high-end enameled bathtub, Kohler proudly showcases its rich 150-year lineage. Today, the company is renowned for its pioneering designs and superior product offerings. Central to Kohler’s acclaim is its bathtub series, emblematic of the company’s unwavering commitment to excellence and resilience. Each bathtub is meticulously crafted from premier materials, undergoing rigorous quality assurance processes to ensure sustained performance. Particularly, Kohler’s acrylic bathtubs are engineered to ward off scratches, discoloration, and stains, maintaining their immaculate appearance and ease of maintenance. This relentless pursuit of quality positions Kohler bathtubs as a prime choice for both residential and commercial settings. In a bid to redefine bathing experiences, Kohler seamlessly integrates cutting-edge amenities into its products. Their jetted bathtubs epitomize relaxation, with strategically aligned jets offering a therapeutic sensation, making every soak a serene escapade. Complemented with innovative water treatment solutions, Kohler promises an invigorating bath experience. From an aesthetic standpoint, Kohler presents an expansive spectrum, encompassing sleek freestanding models to timeless inset varieties. Their design acumen guarantees that each bathtub, inclusive of the freestanding variants, merges optimal functionality with aesthetic finesse, bestowing an air of sophistication upon any bathroom setting. Choosing Kohler transcends a mere transaction; it signifies an allegiance to a refined bathing haven. TOTOCompany Location: Tokyo, JapanYear of Establishment: 1917 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: TOTO, a leading manufacturer of bathroom fixtures, offers a diverse range of bathtubs designed to enhance bathing experiences. Their product line includes:
Founded in 1917, TOTO has consistently set the gold standard in the bathroom fixtures domain. Recognized on a global scale, TOTO delivers premier products that define industry standards. Their overarching mission is to transform daily routines with cutting-edge bathroom solutions, encompassing features such as heating to enhance comfort during chilly spells. TOTO is unwavering in its dedication to technological advancement. The firm has introduced pioneering innovations including the Tornado Flush for unparalleled waste management, the CEFIONTECT coating for sustaining hygienic surfaces, and the sophisticated Washlet bidet system, emphasizing both hygiene and user-friendliness. Central to TOTO’s ethos is environmental stewardship. Their product developments emphasize water conservation without compromising on performance. This commitment to sustainable practices has earned them a plethora of certifications and recognitions. The myriad of accolades and distinctions bestowed upon TOTO affirm their eminent position in the industry. As market trailblazers, they consistently adapt and innovate to meet the evolving needs of their clientele. American StandardCompany Location: Piscataway, New Jersey, USAYear of Establishment: 1872 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: American Standard specializes in a diverse range of bathtubs, catering to various design preferences and requirements. Their product line includes alcove bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, freestanding bathtubs, and walk-in bathtubs. With a commitment to innovation, American Standard offers advanced features such as whirlpool systems, hydrotherapy options, and ergonomic designs. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1872, American Standard stands distinguished in its provision of exceptional quality bathroom fixtures, with a marked speciality in bathtubs. The organization harbors a steadfast dedication to the fusion of innovation and practicality in its designs, aiming to profoundly elevate the user’s bathing experience. A pivotal attribute of American Standard’s bathtubs is the meticulous integration of water-conservation technologies. Through the incorporation of cutting-edge systems, such as EcoSilent, the company ardently pursues the optimization of water utilization, aligning environmental sustainability with substantive economic advantages. In terms of durability, American Standard meticulously crafts bathtubs employing premium materials, encompassing acrylic and cast iron, thereby ensuring an enduring robustness and formidable resilience to the rigors of daily use. The exemplary artifacts they produce seamlessly align with elevated industry benchmarks, manifesting the company’s unwavering commitment to exhaustive testing processes and an unparalleled quality assurance ethos. The consumer-centric approach of American Standard shines prominently, as evidenced by their offering of a versatile array of models imbued with ergonomic considerations and integrated armrests. Their sophisticated portfolio encompasses a breathtaking diversity, featuring luxurious deep-soak bathtubs that invoke a sublime, spa-like ambiance, as well as thoughtfully designed walk-in variants, thus catering proficiently to a comprehensive array of preferences and functional necessities. RocaCompany Location: Barcelona, SpainYear of Establishment: 1917 Types of Business: Design and production Product Offered: Roca offers a wide range of bathtubs designed to cater to diverse preferences and needs. Their product line includes freestanding bathtubs, corner bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, and whirlpool bathtubs. With a focus on innovation, quality, and style, Roca’s bathtubs are crafted to provide a luxurious and rejuvenating bathing experience. About Company Background and Advantages: Founded in 1917 in Barcelona, Roca has evolved into a globally acclaimed leader in superior bathroom solutions. Dedicated to innovation, the company adeptly balances aesthetic allure with functional design and enduring resilience. At its core, Roca’s mission is to elevate the bathroom experience, ensuring unparalleled comfort for its clientele. Roca’s bathtubs stand out for their avant-garde features. Particularly, their whirlpool tubs are equipped with advanced hydrotherapy functionalities, providing therapeutic massages and facilitating a luxurious spa ambiance within the seclusion of one’s residence. Employing only the finest materials and harnessing cutting-edge manufacturing techniques, Roca guarantees precision in every bathtub’s production, ensuring its longevity. This unwavering commitment to quality has solidified Roca’s reputation as a trusted global provider of bathroom solutions. Furthermore, Roca’s bathtubs are epitomes of elegance. Their range encompasses both contemporary and classic designs, catering to diverse aesthetic preferences. Beyond mere functionality, Roca bathtubs serve as sophisticated focal points, imbuing bathrooms with an essence of refinement. WoodbridgeCompany Location: Woodbridge, New Jersey, USAYear of Establishment: 2005 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: Woodbridge specializes in a wide range of luxurious and innovative bathtubs. Their product line includes freestanding bathtubs, alcove bathtubs, drop-in bathtubs, and whirlpool bathtubs. Each bathtub is designed with premium materials and advanced technologies to provide a sophisticated and indulgent bathing experience. About Company Background and Advantages: Founded in 2005, Woodbridge has swiftly cemented its reputation as a premier bathtub manufacturer, renowned for its unparalleled quality, sophisticated aesthetics, and cutting-edge designs. The brand’s unwavering commitment to excellence is underscored by the consistently favorable reviews from its clientele and its extensive product range. Constructed using premium materials such as acrylic and fiberglass, Woodbridge bathtubs promise enduring resilience. Leveraging state-of-the-art manufacturing techniques, the bathtubs are furnished with a robust finish that is adept at warding off stains, scratches, and fading, ensuring the product’s immaculate appearance is sustained over the years. A hallmark of Woodbridge’s offerings is the harmonious blend of avant-garde design with user-centric comfort. Numerous models are equipped with hydrotherapy features, including whirlpool jets and air massage systems, providing an oasis of therapeutic relaxation. Furthermore, their bathtubs are meticulously crafted, boasting capacious interiors that amplify the bathing experience. Attuned to the evolving needs of their clientele, Woodbridge designs bathtubs that seamlessly complement a myriad of bathroom decors. Their steadfast dedication to premium customer service ensures reliable product support and post-purchase assistance. KaldeweiCompany Location: Ahlen, GermanyYear of Establishment: 1918 Types of Business: Manufacturing Products Offered: Kaldewei specializes in the production of high-quality bathroom solutions, with a focus on luxury steel enamel bathtubs and shower surfaces. They offer a wide range of product options including freestanding bathtubs, built-in bathtubs, shower trays, and whirlpool systems. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1918 and headquartered in Ahlen, Germany, Kaldewei stands as a distinguished pioneer in the luxury bathroom industry. Over the years, the company has ascended to the zenith of the international market, distinguishing itself as a purveyor of premium bathroom essentials and state-of-the-art water systems. At the heart of Kaldewei’s ethos is the fusion of aesthetic excellence, pioneering technology, and sustainable practices, culminating in products that set industry benchmarks. A salient attribute of Kaldewei’s offerings is their incorporation of steel enamel. This superior material guarantees not only the longevity and resilience of their bathtubs and showers but also ensures effortless maintenance, encapsulating the essence of a lavish yet lasting bath experience. Their manufacturing paradigm marries avant-garde methodologies with meticulous craftsmanship, all underpinned by rigorous quality oversight. Beyond their product excellence, Kaldewei’s commitment to the environment is unwavering. They champion eco-conscious manufacturing paradigms, judicious utilization of natural resources, enhanced energy efficiency, and the production of recyclable goods. This unwavering commitment to environmental stewardship has garnered them commendations and certifications in recognition of their sustainable initiatives. With an expansive portfolio that caters to diverse aesthetic preferences, Kaldewei meticulously curates bathroom solutions that resonate with individual tastes and design inclinations. They are unrivaled in delivering opulent bathing experiences that seamlessly blend sophistication, comfort, and functionality. DuravitCompany Location: Hornberg, GermanyYear of Establishment: 1817 Types of Business: Manufacturing and design Products Offered: Duravit specializes in a wide range of bathroom fixtures and solutions, offering innovative designs, exceptional quality, and functionality. Their product portfolio includes toilets, basins, bathtubs, showers, furniture, accessories, and wellness systems. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1817 in Hornberg, Germany, Duravit stands at the forefront of contemporary bathroom solutions. As a globally acclaimed entity, their unwavering commitment to superior quality and pioneering designs sets them apart in the industry. Each bathtub from Duravit exemplifies unparalleled craftsmanship and meticulous attention to detail, manifesting their ethos of excellence. Constructed using premium materials, these bathtubs guarantee robustness and longevity. Duravit is celebrated for its sophisticated designs which seamlessly blend aesthetics with practicality, transforming bathroom ambiances and providing unparalleled comfort. In its operations, Duravit ardently champions sustainability, placing emphasis on resource conservation, ethical production processes, and the creation of enduring products. Their dedication to environmental stewardship has garnered them numerous recognitions. With an expansive portfolio of bathroom products, Duravit caters to a wide spectrum of preferences and requirements. Whether one desires understated elegance or opulent grandeur, Duravit persistently ensures impeccable quality and utmost customer satisfaction. DeltaCompany Location: Indianapolis, Indiana, USAYear of Establishment: 1954 Types of Business: Design and manufacturing Products Offered: Delta, along with its major flagship brands Peerless, Brizzo, and First Wave, offers a wide range of bathtubs to meet both kitchen and bathroom needs. Their product line includes freestanding and drop-in bathtubs, all available in acrylic. These bathtubs come in multiple finishes such as nickel, brass, chrome, and matte, allowing customers to customize their bathing spaces. Product Offered: Delta, along with its flagship brands Peerless, Brizzo, and First Wave, specializes in manufacturing a wide range of faucets and fixtures for both kitchens and bathrooms. They offer different styles to suit various design preferences and requirements. Additionally, Delta provides freestanding and drop-in bathtubs in acrylic with multiple finish options such as nickel, brass, chrome, and matte. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1958, Delta is renowned for its unparalleled quality in faucets, fixtures, and bathing solutions. The design versatility and enduring resilience of their bathtubs are particularly commendable. As of 2023, Delta’s bathtubs are the preferred choice for discerning clientele. Engineered with meticulous precision, these bathtubs epitomize structural integrity and superior user satisfaction. The utilization of high-grade acrylic not only imparts a sophisticated appearance but also efficiently retains heat and necessitates minimal upkeep. This robust material is exceptionally resistant to discoloration, fading, and cracking, ensuring a product that retains its elegance over time. Collaborating with esteemed brands such as Peerless, Brizzo, and First Wave, Delta presents an expansive array of designs. Whether the preference is for a freestanding bathtub or one that harmonizes with its surroundings, Delta caters to a spectrum of design inclinations. An extensive range of finishes, spanning from nickel to matte, empowers consumers to customize their bathroom ambiance. Delta’s distinguishing trait is its unwavering commitment to innovation and customer satisfaction. Their bathtubs are designed with a keen emphasis on comfort, showcasing ergonomic contours and consistent water flow, facilitating a tranquil bathing experience. Bolstered by an extensive retail framework and a seamless online interface, the process of selecting and acquiring a Delta bathtub is both convenient and efficient. MansfieldCompany Location: Perrysville, Ohio, USAYear of Establishment: 1929 Types of Business: Manufacturing Product Offered: Mansfield Plumbing Products (MPP) offers a comprehensive range of plumbing fixtures and fittings, including an extensive lineup of bathtubs. Their current line of bathtubs includes various types and styles, catering to the diverse preferences of their customers. About Company Background and Advantages: Established in 1929, Mansfield Plumbing Products stands as a distinguished purveyor of premier plumbing fixtures, including shower bases. With a strategic presence across the United States, Puerto Rico, and Canada, and fortified by an expansive network of over 4,000 distributors, Mansfield ensures the consistent availability of its superior products to a broad clientele. Mansfield’s bathtub collection exemplifies a sophisticated convergence of functionality and visual elegance. Each bathtub is a manifestation of impeccable craftsmanship, constructed with resilient materials guaranteeing enduring efficacy. The assortment offers an abundant spectrum of designs, accommodating a wide range of aesthetic preferences and interior bathroom styles. Continually dedicated to innovation and superior quality, Mansfield diligently refines its product range, presenting an all-encompassing array of bathtubs fashioned to address the varied demands and inclinations of its clientele. Every product is meticulously designed, seamlessly integrating quality, style, and practicality. Central to Mansfield’s ethos is an unrelenting commitment to client satisfaction. Beyond delivering exceptional products, the company emphasizes exemplary customer support and post-purchase services. This steadfast dedication to service excellence, product quality, and innovative design solidifies Mansfield’s esteemed standing in the plumbing industry. How to Choose Bathtub Manufacturers?When selecting bathtub manufacturers, it’s essential to approach the decision-making process with a comprehensive perspective. Here are some refined considerations to guide your selection:
Why KKR?
ConclusionIn conclusion, the industry dedicated to the production of bathtubs is undergoing significant growth, primarily catering to enterprises within the furniture manufacturing sphere as well as various other commercial entities. Our portfolio encompasses an extensive variety of bathtubs, each distinguished by its unique design, composition of materials, and functional attributes. Esteemed manufacturers, including Kingkonree, contribute to our collection through offerings of bespoke customization options. For more comprehensive information, we invite you to reach out to us via email or engage in a direct consultation with our expert team. |
2024.05.14 05:54 PaleontologistKey571 Rant of a frustrated intern
THIS IS JUST A RANT
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish; people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or a Microsoft Word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (the pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the boss's view (if he is in), then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now that I come an hour earlier than the others, I would read, scroll on social media, study, or whatever to pass the time until 9 am (work hour), and if I was late, I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 minutes late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I had never studied before, so to prepare myself, I self-studied and hired a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact that I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things, but I get in trouble if I do them. What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me, and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma: I was told that everyone was going on a work trip that week, which at the time I thought was just the bosses and the executive lawyers, but it turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck with a lawyer who chose to stay behind. OFC, I had some issues with MW, which I tried the hardest to research on Google, YouTube, and even call some friends for help, but to no avail, and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously, I got in trouble the next week when my supervisor was back. Hence, I applied for courses after working in MS so I could enhance my skills and be useful to my superiors, so I wouldn't get that resentful and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day; heck, I even asked people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text, but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were closer to each other—heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even though the secretary told me it was okay to talk on a first-name basis. I won't do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch, I am lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and I was never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think). From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them. However, in the past, working with men was a different story; they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PICs because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. I was contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussycat by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated, and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice and feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand is that I'm an intern at the bottom of the totem pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good, and I need this for CV purposes.
submitted by PaleontologistKey571 to venting [link] [comments]
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish; people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or a Microsoft Word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (the pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the boss's view (if he is in), then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now that I come an hour earlier than the others, I would read, scroll on social media, study, or whatever to pass the time until 9 am (work hour), and if I was late, I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 minutes late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I had never studied before, so to prepare myself, I self-studied and hired a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact that I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things, but I get in trouble if I do them. What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me, and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma: I was told that everyone was going on a work trip that week, which at the time I thought was just the bosses and the executive lawyers, but it turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck with a lawyer who chose to stay behind. OFC, I had some issues with MW, which I tried the hardest to research on Google, YouTube, and even call some friends for help, but to no avail, and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously, I got in trouble the next week when my supervisor was back. Hence, I applied for courses after working in MS so I could enhance my skills and be useful to my superiors, so I wouldn't get that resentful and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day; heck, I even asked people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text, but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were closer to each other—heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even though the secretary told me it was okay to talk on a first-name basis. I won't do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch, I am lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and I was never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think). From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them. However, in the past, working with men was a different story; they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PICs because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. I was contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussycat by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated, and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice and feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand is that I'm an intern at the bottom of the totem pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good, and I need this for CV purposes.
2024.05.14 05:50 J2SavesTheDay AITA for suing my former employer for unpaid overtime wages for me and 20 other former employees resulting in friends/co workers hating me/uninviting me from a wedding?
I was fired from my sales position at the beginning of March due to missing some time going through some mental health issues. I made peace with the company’s decision because I spent the last 18 months of a 5 year stint wishing I was closer to home so this was a welcomed “reset”.
The ownecompany has a history of just flat out screwing over employees as far how they’re treated, not paying their commissions after they leave, you name it, it probably happened. Suffice to say, I was skeptical that I would be paid out all of my commissions since I was no longer there to really have a say.
In an attempt to feel out the waters this with the owner, I reach out. I get a text back saying that I’d get paid any commissions owed after a number of deductions. Which was fair. I did have a few claims that I would/should pay my share of. What ticked me off on that list was a trip I won for me and a plus one Over $4,000 in value. For context I was expecting a final commission check roughly around $8k not factoring in the trip I suddenly was on the hook for. I did not attend the trip due to the health issues I mentioned at the beginning but my plus one DID go. A friend who happened to work there. Again, this was a trip I earned and nowhere was there any fine print that this could happen if someone didn’t go on the trip.
I decided that he wasn’t going to take advantage of me like he had done to so many others there and I filed a class action lawsuit for unpaid overtime wages so that anyone else who had been unfairly treated would finally have a voice and stand up for themselves. It’s going to cost a lot more than if he had just paid me my commissions owed sans the trip deduction. This isn’t a cash grab as I had done well for myself the last 3 years but the company treating me as if I wasn’t one of their top revenue earners the last three years, felt wrong.
This has not gone over well with the coworkers who I thought as of friends and one high ranking official there even uninvited from his wedding via text. “Just a heads up, don’t worry about watching the mail for a wedding invite. Seats are filled.” Realizing why I received the text, I call the bride and find out she’s blocked me on social media to apologize that my legal battle is having an impact outside of the workplace and in our personal lives but I never got the chance to before being cut off/out.
I can’t blame my friends/former colleagues for how they’re taking it because I’m not sure how my legal action is being portrayed to them. They might be fearful of their job security as I pursue this matter.
AITA?
TLDR: Boss with shady business practices withheld my commissions to recoup a business expense/trip I earned for two. I filed a lawsuit to stand up for myself and others wronged by the company and now I’m hated by friends at the company / uninvited from a wedding.
submitted by J2SavesTheDay to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
The ownecompany has a history of just flat out screwing over employees as far how they’re treated, not paying their commissions after they leave, you name it, it probably happened. Suffice to say, I was skeptical that I would be paid out all of my commissions since I was no longer there to really have a say.
In an attempt to feel out the waters this with the owner, I reach out. I get a text back saying that I’d get paid any commissions owed after a number of deductions. Which was fair. I did have a few claims that I would/should pay my share of. What ticked me off on that list was a trip I won for me and a plus one Over $4,000 in value. For context I was expecting a final commission check roughly around $8k not factoring in the trip I suddenly was on the hook for. I did not attend the trip due to the health issues I mentioned at the beginning but my plus one DID go. A friend who happened to work there. Again, this was a trip I earned and nowhere was there any fine print that this could happen if someone didn’t go on the trip.
I decided that he wasn’t going to take advantage of me like he had done to so many others there and I filed a class action lawsuit for unpaid overtime wages so that anyone else who had been unfairly treated would finally have a voice and stand up for themselves. It’s going to cost a lot more than if he had just paid me my commissions owed sans the trip deduction. This isn’t a cash grab as I had done well for myself the last 3 years but the company treating me as if I wasn’t one of their top revenue earners the last three years, felt wrong.
This has not gone over well with the coworkers who I thought as of friends and one high ranking official there even uninvited from his wedding via text. “Just a heads up, don’t worry about watching the mail for a wedding invite. Seats are filled.” Realizing why I received the text, I call the bride and find out she’s blocked me on social media to apologize that my legal battle is having an impact outside of the workplace and in our personal lives but I never got the chance to before being cut off/out.
I can’t blame my friends/former colleagues for how they’re taking it because I’m not sure how my legal action is being portrayed to them. They might be fearful of their job security as I pursue this matter.
AITA?
TLDR: Boss with shady business practices withheld my commissions to recoup a business expense/trip I earned for two. I filed a lawsuit to stand up for myself and others wronged by the company and now I’m hated by friends at the company / uninvited from a wedding.
2024.05.14 05:45 UnluckyValentine611 My (26 NB) work friend tricked me (25 NB) into going on a date with them. Where do we go from here?
I (25 NB) met my friend (26 NB) at work, we have the same position at work and usually end up paired with each other. We get along great and have a lot of similar interests. I’ve given them rides home from work a lot cause we live near each other, and I thought we’d developed a strong friendship. They’ve worked at the company a little longer than I have, I’ve been working there since August. We’ve only been friends really since Januaryish when I got promoted.
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.
submitted by UnluckyValentine611 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.
2024.05.14 05:44 Constant-Waiting Best way to set up a game night
Hey all. I’ve been playing games with my friends at lunch lately and I’d love to have them over at my house. What’s a good way to invite them over? What should I do prior to it too?
submitted by Constant-Waiting to boardgames [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 05:43 PaleontologistKey571 Rant as A Malaysian Intern
THIS IS JUST A RANT
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish, people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or made some Microsoft word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (Pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the bosses view (if he is in),then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now I come an hour earlier then the others, I would read ,scroll socmed,study or whatever to pass the time till 9 am (Work hour) and if Iam late I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 mins late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I never studies before, ,so to prep myself, I self-studied and hire a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things but I get in trouble if I do it . What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma, I was told that everyone was going to a work trip that week, which at the time I thought it was just the bosses and the exec lawyers but turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck wfh aiding a lawyer that chose to stay behind . OFC I had some issues with MW , which I tried the hardest to research , google, youtube and even call some friends for help but alas to no avail and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously I got in trouble the next week by my supervisor when they were back. Hence why I applied for courses after work in MS so I can enhance the skill and be useful to my superiors so I wont get that resented and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day, heck I even ask people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were more closer to each other, heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even tho the secretary told me it was okay to talk on first-name basis . I wont do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch time is lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and Im never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think) . From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them, could be a racial thing as well but I'm not bringing that in. However, in the past, working with men was a different story, they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PIC because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. Im contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussy by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm, is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice/feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand, that I'm an intern, ,bottom of the totem- pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good and I need this for CV purposes.
submitted by PaleontologistKey571 to Bolehland [link] [comments]
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish, people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or made some Microsoft word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (Pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the bosses view (if he is in),then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now I come an hour earlier then the others, I would read ,scroll socmed,study or whatever to pass the time till 9 am (Work hour) and if Iam late I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 mins late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I never studies before, ,so to prep myself, I self-studied and hire a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things but I get in trouble if I do it . What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma, I was told that everyone was going to a work trip that week, which at the time I thought it was just the bosses and the exec lawyers but turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck wfh aiding a lawyer that chose to stay behind . OFC I had some issues with MW , which I tried the hardest to research , google, youtube and even call some friends for help but alas to no avail and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously I got in trouble the next week by my supervisor when they were back. Hence why I applied for courses after work in MS so I can enhance the skill and be useful to my superiors so I wont get that resented and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day, heck I even ask people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were more closer to each other, heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even tho the secretary told me it was okay to talk on first-name basis . I wont do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch time is lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and Im never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think) . From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them, could be a racial thing as well but I'm not bringing that in. However, in the past, working with men was a different story, they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PIC because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. Im contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussy by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm, is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice/feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand, that I'm an intern, ,bottom of the totem- pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good and I need this for CV purposes.
2024.05.14 05:42 PaleontologistKey571 Rant of a Malaysian intern
THIS IS JUST A RANT
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish, people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or made some Microsoft word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (Pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the bosses view (if he is in),then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now I come an hour earlier then the others, I would read ,scroll socmed,study or whatever to pass the time till 9 am (Work hour) and if Iam late I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 mins late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I never studies before, ,so to prep myself, I self-studied and hire a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things but I get in trouble if I do it . What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma, I was told that everyone was going to a work trip that week, which at the time I thought it was just the bosses and the exec lawyers but turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck wfh aiding a lawyer that chose to stay behind . OFC I had some issues with MW , which I tried the hardest to research , google, youtube and even call some friends for help but alas to no avail and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously I got in trouble the next week by my supervisor when they were back. Hence why I applied for courses after work in MS so I can enhance the skill and be useful to my superiors so I wont get that resented and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day, heck I even ask people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were more closer to each other, heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even tho the secretary told me it was okay to talk on first-name basis . I wont do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch time is lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and Im never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think) . From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them, could be a racial thing as well but I'm not bringing that in. However, in the past, working with men was a different story, they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PIC because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. Im contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussy by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm, is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice/feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand, that I'm an intern, ,bottom of the totem- pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good and I need this for CV purposes.
submitted by PaleontologistKey571 to malaysia [link] [comments]
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish, people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or made some Microsoft word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (Pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the bosses view (if he is in),then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now I come an hour earlier then the others, I would read ,scroll socmed,study or whatever to pass the time till 9 am (Work hour) and if Iam late I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 mins late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I never studies before, ,so to prep myself, I self-studied and hire a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things but I get in trouble if I do it . What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma, I was told that everyone was going to a work trip that week, which at the time I thought it was just the bosses and the exec lawyers but turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck wfh aiding a lawyer that chose to stay behind . OFC I had some issues with MW , which I tried the hardest to research , google, youtube and even call some friends for help but alas to no avail and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously I got in trouble the next week by my supervisor when they were back. Hence why I applied for courses after work in MS so I can enhance the skill and be useful to my superiors so I wont get that resented and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day, heck I even ask people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were more closer to each other, heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even tho the secretary told me it was okay to talk on first-name basis . I wont do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch time is lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and Im never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think) . From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them, could be a racial thing as well but I'm not bringing that in. However, in the past, working with men was a different story, they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PIC because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. Im contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussy by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm, is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice/feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand, that I'm an intern, ,bottom of the totem- pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good and I need this for CV purposes.
2024.05.14 05:23 spicysenpai6 I’m pretty sure this guy tried to Recruit me to an MLM
Quick story. I was at a gas station to get my usual grub before work. On my way out, this guy asks me about my work shoes, which are super comfortable. We chat for a little bit, and he tells me about a couple him and his wife met who “retired in their 20’s”. Tells me that there’s an opportunity for me to “meet my financial goals”. It’s already sounding like an MLM to me, but it’s more intricate with how he’s going about it. He offers to meet at Panera Bread to discuss more about this opportunity. I’m like alright my MLM flags are already going off, but I’ll hear this guy out.
I go to Panera the next week and we chat some more. He asks me “what would you do with your time if you didn’t have to worry about money?” I was unsure. But then he explained more about “David and Angela” the couple who “retired” in their 20’s. Yadda yadda, more conversation. He’s really pushing the lifestyle of this venture rather than explaining what the actual job is. The meeting ends, he invited me to a meeting that’s happening tomorrow (5/14/24). At first I’m like okay I’ll think about it and get back to you.
I get to my car, drive home, then google this retired couple. Found the guys LinkedIn and dug deep, found his twitter and immediately saw buzzwords like “this team made our goal” “sold this much product” “team meetings” “up line” this and that. Definitely is an MLM by my book lol. So I texted him and told him I wouldn’t be attending as I’m satisfied with where I am career wise and all that. He asked me what had changed my mind? And that I didn’t have to make a decision yet until I can see what the meeting is, but I’d personally rather not waste my time lol.
I’m pretty sure this dude was trying to recruit me to his downline or however you put it. But I caught it in time to confirm my suspicions lol. This dudes “company” doesn’t even have a valid website, the link from LinkedIn led nowhere, and his twitter just gave up huge red flags that reeked of MLM schemes. Glad I decided not to go through with it lol. Hope the dude lives his best life, cause he was nice, but that’s a big no thanks from me.
submitted by spicysenpai6 to antiMLM [link] [comments]
I go to Panera the next week and we chat some more. He asks me “what would you do with your time if you didn’t have to worry about money?” I was unsure. But then he explained more about “David and Angela” the couple who “retired” in their 20’s. Yadda yadda, more conversation. He’s really pushing the lifestyle of this venture rather than explaining what the actual job is. The meeting ends, he invited me to a meeting that’s happening tomorrow (5/14/24). At first I’m like okay I’ll think about it and get back to you.
I get to my car, drive home, then google this retired couple. Found the guys LinkedIn and dug deep, found his twitter and immediately saw buzzwords like “this team made our goal” “sold this much product” “team meetings” “up line” this and that. Definitely is an MLM by my book lol. So I texted him and told him I wouldn’t be attending as I’m satisfied with where I am career wise and all that. He asked me what had changed my mind? And that I didn’t have to make a decision yet until I can see what the meeting is, but I’d personally rather not waste my time lol.
I’m pretty sure this dude was trying to recruit me to his downline or however you put it. But I caught it in time to confirm my suspicions lol. This dudes “company” doesn’t even have a valid website, the link from LinkedIn led nowhere, and his twitter just gave up huge red flags that reeked of MLM schemes. Glad I decided not to go through with it lol. Hope the dude lives his best life, cause he was nice, but that’s a big no thanks from me.
2024.05.14 05:19 wreckArtTho Help me decide
Bpo or Government agency?
I am (24M) a licensed professional and I am currently working at a bpo company (1 month trainee). After I graduated college, nag trabaho ako kaagad as an office secretary sa isang private company for 11 months. Nag resign ako para makapag review and take board exams last year. Fortunately, naka pasa kahit late na compared sa mga batchmates ko. After makapasa, nag apply2 kaagad ako kasi financially drained na kme. So ayun, after ilang months naka pasok ako sa bpo. I really like the office setting and of course the salary and benefits.
Fast forward kanina lng, na invite ako for interview sa isang government agency na related talaga sa profession ko. Eh nirefer lng ako at d ko alam ang full job details. Ang alam ko lang is “research technician” ito and project based. After ko mag tanong kung ano ang job description, sabi ng interviewer more on manual labor and overtime without pay daw. Kinumpare pa nila na baka d ako sanay sa laborious tasks kasi previous and current job settings ko is nasa office lng ako.
For further context tinanong pa nila if how much ba salary ko sa current bpo job ko, sabi ko 18k after deductions. D nila dinisclouse ang salary grade kasi d naman ako nag tanong. Pero sabi2 ng mga kaibigan ko, if below 20k, d ko na tatanggapin.
So yeah. i badly need your advice if i should accept the offer if ever maka pasa ako or wag na?
Btw, Sorry for bad sentence structure haha
submitted by wreckArtTho to PHJobs [link] [comments]
I am (24M) a licensed professional and I am currently working at a bpo company (1 month trainee). After I graduated college, nag trabaho ako kaagad as an office secretary sa isang private company for 11 months. Nag resign ako para makapag review and take board exams last year. Fortunately, naka pasa kahit late na compared sa mga batchmates ko. After makapasa, nag apply2 kaagad ako kasi financially drained na kme. So ayun, after ilang months naka pasok ako sa bpo. I really like the office setting and of course the salary and benefits.
Fast forward kanina lng, na invite ako for interview sa isang government agency na related talaga sa profession ko. Eh nirefer lng ako at d ko alam ang full job details. Ang alam ko lang is “research technician” ito and project based. After ko mag tanong kung ano ang job description, sabi ng interviewer more on manual labor and overtime without pay daw. Kinumpare pa nila na baka d ako sanay sa laborious tasks kasi previous and current job settings ko is nasa office lng ako.
For further context tinanong pa nila if how much ba salary ko sa current bpo job ko, sabi ko 18k after deductions. D nila dinisclouse ang salary grade kasi d naman ako nag tanong. Pero sabi2 ng mga kaibigan ko, if below 20k, d ko na tatanggapin.
So yeah. i badly need your advice if i should accept the offer if ever maka pasa ako or wag na?
Btw, Sorry for bad sentence structure haha
2024.05.14 05:14 UniKitten01 22/NA/PC horror, survival and strategy
Looking for some like-minded people who are very welcoming to all walks of life. I am a very open-minded person, accepting of all people. I am a gaymer who may eventually try streaming, but for now I just want to find nice people to try some games with. Maybe make a discord server or something so everyone can invite friends and we can all be friends. I mostly play horror and survival games on the PC with the occasional Strategy game. I also own a switch for some games. Feel free to drop me a link if you are interested in playing with me.
Some games that I have been playing recently include 7 days to die, lethal company, content warning, genshin impact, raft and plateup!
I have a ton more, I’m also down to do some tabletop with some people.
submitted by UniKitten01 to GamerPals [link] [comments]
Some games that I have been playing recently include 7 days to die, lethal company, content warning, genshin impact, raft and plateup!
I have a ton more, I’m also down to do some tabletop with some people.
2024.05.14 05:09 itsthekeri AITAH: For struggling to forgive my husband after he ghosted me on a guys' night and came home at 5 am?
Last Friday, my husband (34M) was invited by one of his bosses to attend an Angel’s game. I (39F) encouraged him to go because we rarely take time off, and it's important to connect with higher-ups in the company. It turned out to be a guys-only outing, which I didn't mind as I was looking forward to some solo time playing Red Dead Online. The plan was dinner, the game, and then heading back home. He left around 2 pm, and the next time I heard from him was at 7:30 pm when he sent me a video from his seat behind the Angel’s dugout. We discussed our plans for the following day, including an early trip to SeaWorld, and shared affectionate messages before he mentioned that he wouldn't be home late as the game would end at 9 pm.
As the game carried on, I kept an eye out hoping to catch a glimpse of him and I did! 😅 I sent him a text at 9:25 pm telling him how crazy the ending of the game was. (KC Royals ended up winning after trailing behind most the night). By midnight, with no response, concern started to creep in, but I resisted blowing him up with messages to avoid seeming overly anxious. Despite attempting to keep busy with laundry, my mind was spiraling. By 2 am, there was still no sign of him at home or my message being read. Exhausted and with plans for a family visit to SeaWorld in the morning, I finally drifted off at 4 am to get some rest as to not be a zombie around our kids (7F, 4F). However, I was awakened when he returned at 5 am, smelling of alcohol, and attempting to cuddle me.
I immediately jumped up and began asking where the hell he was all night. He explained that he lost track of time and his phone while out and assumed everything was fine after our earlier conversation. He says after the game they came back to his bosses house. Frustrated and tired, I questioned why he didn't just call to let me know about the delay. He claimed he thought I was asleep, disregarding the assurance he gave me earlier that he wouldn't be late, which caused me to worry and stay up in the first place. We argued all the way until 8am and I ended up just taking the kids to SeaWorld by myself and left him behind.
Despite his apologies and assurances these past couple days, I finding it really difficult to move past feeling disrespected. Being under the influence isn't an excuse to vanish without a word and dismiss it as unintentional when confronted. I'm struggling to find a way to forgive or even believe his story. Am I overreacting?
submitted by itsthekeri to AITAH [link] [comments]
As the game carried on, I kept an eye out hoping to catch a glimpse of him and I did! 😅 I sent him a text at 9:25 pm telling him how crazy the ending of the game was. (KC Royals ended up winning after trailing behind most the night). By midnight, with no response, concern started to creep in, but I resisted blowing him up with messages to avoid seeming overly anxious. Despite attempting to keep busy with laundry, my mind was spiraling. By 2 am, there was still no sign of him at home or my message being read. Exhausted and with plans for a family visit to SeaWorld in the morning, I finally drifted off at 4 am to get some rest as to not be a zombie around our kids (7F, 4F). However, I was awakened when he returned at 5 am, smelling of alcohol, and attempting to cuddle me.
I immediately jumped up and began asking where the hell he was all night. He explained that he lost track of time and his phone while out and assumed everything was fine after our earlier conversation. He says after the game they came back to his bosses house. Frustrated and tired, I questioned why he didn't just call to let me know about the delay. He claimed he thought I was asleep, disregarding the assurance he gave me earlier that he wouldn't be late, which caused me to worry and stay up in the first place. We argued all the way until 8am and I ended up just taking the kids to SeaWorld by myself and left him behind.
Despite his apologies and assurances these past couple days, I finding it really difficult to move past feeling disrespected. Being under the influence isn't an excuse to vanish without a word and dismiss it as unintentional when confronted. I'm struggling to find a way to forgive or even believe his story. Am I overreacting?
2024.05.14 05:03 ajlxflxme AITA? Girlfriend Edition
Strap in. This is gonna be a long one.
Okay so Im a 19 year old guy in my first official relationship with a girl and we’ve been dating for about 4 months now, and at the beginning of the relationship I lied about something I didn’t need to and it broke the trust for her a bit but Ive been built it back up, nothing REALLY BIG since then. Recently me and her had a bit of a dispute about her feeling neglected and I have a friend who often(damn near everyday) shows up at my house to hang out with me, mind you me and my sister both have told him to chill on that but he hasn’t listened. So I was on the phone with her all day today and just enjoying her company because I asked if she wanted me to and what not and he decides to call me, and out of curiosity as to why he’s calling me I tell her “Hey, my bro is calling me let me answer this really quick” and she gets frustrated, me noticing tries to make the call quick as possible. He asks if I want to hoop with him, I say no and he asks if I’m otp with her and I say yes. And so he invites her to come with us so that she doesn’t feel neglected or left out. She responds “Ill go but just know I’m gonna be irritated” so me being considerate of that I just say nevermind and tell him Ill stay at the house and that was that. After I hang up she gets mad about the fact that I answered his call and makes it seem like I’m ditching her and she gets angry. And Im explaining everything thats going on. After while she comes back and apologizes for getting angry and I say its okay, its fine and just brush it off and everything is fine. Fast forward after me being out with my sister(and letting her know that) I get back in the house and call her and I see that she’s visibly upset, so I tell her Im gonna chill with her for the rest of the day. LITERALLY 5 MINUTES AFTER I SAY THAT MY BRO SHOWS UP UNANNOUNCED and I start getting frustrated because I know how this is gonna go. He comes and knocks on my room door and then I mute her while I talk to him and tell him that Im trying to spend time with her. After talking to him for about 5 minutes I come back in my room and I ask her is she okay and she doesn’t respond, so I ask whats wrong and tell her is it him and she then she gets upset and starts assuming that I show him more attention more than her. Ive only been out of college for 4 days 2 of them were spent at her house and every other day she’s always been on the phone with me or whenever he’s over and we’re playing the game I stop in-beween games or pause in between moments to text and make sure shes okay or hasn’t sent me anything and sometimes even when he’s here ill still be in my room talking to her while he’s downstairs playing the game but she still thinks I show more attention to him than her. Mind you he ALWAYS COMES OVER EVEN WHEN IM AT COLLEGE, and she knows that as well. Then she started to put me in a position to where basically it was either choosing her or him and I said I wasn’t gonna pick between the two and she got even more upset because at the end of the day he’s still my best friend of 4+ years and I don’t want to be rude to him and you’re my girlfriend and of course I care about and for you and now she won’t talk to me but she still has our tiktoks, highlights, and posts up.
AITA?
TLDR: Girlfriend upset because she thinks I show more attention to my best friend than her
submitted by ajlxflxme to AITAH [link] [comments]
Okay so Im a 19 year old guy in my first official relationship with a girl and we’ve been dating for about 4 months now, and at the beginning of the relationship I lied about something I didn’t need to and it broke the trust for her a bit but Ive been built it back up, nothing REALLY BIG since then. Recently me and her had a bit of a dispute about her feeling neglected and I have a friend who often(damn near everyday) shows up at my house to hang out with me, mind you me and my sister both have told him to chill on that but he hasn’t listened. So I was on the phone with her all day today and just enjoying her company because I asked if she wanted me to and what not and he decides to call me, and out of curiosity as to why he’s calling me I tell her “Hey, my bro is calling me let me answer this really quick” and she gets frustrated, me noticing tries to make the call quick as possible. He asks if I want to hoop with him, I say no and he asks if I’m otp with her and I say yes. And so he invites her to come with us so that she doesn’t feel neglected or left out. She responds “Ill go but just know I’m gonna be irritated” so me being considerate of that I just say nevermind and tell him Ill stay at the house and that was that. After I hang up she gets mad about the fact that I answered his call and makes it seem like I’m ditching her and she gets angry. And Im explaining everything thats going on. After while she comes back and apologizes for getting angry and I say its okay, its fine and just brush it off and everything is fine. Fast forward after me being out with my sister(and letting her know that) I get back in the house and call her and I see that she’s visibly upset, so I tell her Im gonna chill with her for the rest of the day. LITERALLY 5 MINUTES AFTER I SAY THAT MY BRO SHOWS UP UNANNOUNCED and I start getting frustrated because I know how this is gonna go. He comes and knocks on my room door and then I mute her while I talk to him and tell him that Im trying to spend time with her. After talking to him for about 5 minutes I come back in my room and I ask her is she okay and she doesn’t respond, so I ask whats wrong and tell her is it him and she then she gets upset and starts assuming that I show him more attention more than her. Ive only been out of college for 4 days 2 of them were spent at her house and every other day she’s always been on the phone with me or whenever he’s over and we’re playing the game I stop in-beween games or pause in between moments to text and make sure shes okay or hasn’t sent me anything and sometimes even when he’s here ill still be in my room talking to her while he’s downstairs playing the game but she still thinks I show more attention to him than her. Mind you he ALWAYS COMES OVER EVEN WHEN IM AT COLLEGE, and she knows that as well. Then she started to put me in a position to where basically it was either choosing her or him and I said I wasn’t gonna pick between the two and she got even more upset because at the end of the day he’s still my best friend of 4+ years and I don’t want to be rude to him and you’re my girlfriend and of course I care about and for you and now she won’t talk to me but she still has our tiktoks, highlights, and posts up.
AITA?
TLDR: Girlfriend upset because she thinks I show more attention to my best friend than her
2024.05.14 04:58 chubbybaldblackguy Delivering some good news!
 | Hello everyone! Your local, friendly, chubby mailman back again with another delivery. This time delivering what I believe is some good news! submitted by chubbybaldblackguy to notmycat [link] [comments] I’ll just start with the good news right off the bat…2 of the Churu gang have homes! Little Hope, the Tabby that would always climb in my truck (that I was worried about a few days ago) seems to have been taken in by someone in the park! She was so sweet and I’m glad she gets to live the good life now! Remember Tyson, the void that would climb in my truck and take a nap? Well, Tyson also has a home in the park! One of the sweet lady’s in the park took him in and he gets to live the good life as well. I see him every now and then looking out the window, and he escaped for a bit a few days ago for a quick minute, but now he’s nice and warm and gets to look out the window all the time. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little bit sad. These two were the first ones I kind of befriended (as they would always climb in my truck) and I always said if I could have I would have taken them home myself. But I’m also extremely happy that someone took them in and they are taken care of. I would gladly go back to eating my lunch by myself every day if it meant that all of the Churu gang and the rest of the fuzzballs got good homes. Unfortunately some of them just aren’t into people at all and I guess (?) they are happy where they are. Also some other good news…Lynn, the lady I got in contact with that has done the TNR in the park has said she has finished up. I believe the final number was around 32 or so that she was able to TNR (including our little Hope, Tyson and my buddy Marvin) and her work and expertise are needed elsewhere. I can’t thank her (and everyone on here who gave me points of contact and groups to get a hold of) for all the help. Because of everyone (especially Lynn) 32 little fuzzballs have been spayed/neutered and vaccinated. And a few have even found homes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone that offered advice and helped! Other than that, not much else to report out here. Just feeding and giving water and churus to my buddies whenever I can. As a reminder you can see more of the Churu gang on instagram at mailmanmacsroutecats. I also have a little store where you can get some things with their pictures on them. If there is something you want with a certain picture let me know and I’ll throw it up on there. I’ve also opened the wishlist back up if anyone would like to donate some food to the fuzzballs. Have a good day everyone! |
2024.05.14 04:58 timakudo Tools/Processes for Effective Project Management
I'm a project manager at a small MSP that has little in the way of consistent standardised processes and policies around project management and implementation. I'm working to change this, but I'm hoping to get some assistance from the community.
Depending on the project and the lead, our implementation varies widely. Our current process generally involves quoting from an estimation of labour and specific hardware needed, creating a "project ticket" in Zendesk and utilising third-party plugs to create linked sub-tickets for tasks. A very simple tracking files is whipped up in excel and used as a to-do list to ensure that tasks are completed, and incomplete tasks can be identified. Used more heavily for on-site implementations/upgrades to make sure that all items are ticked off. Lots of opportunities for post-implementation follow-up, review of lessons learnt, etc.
Being Zendesk, it's fairly limited, with updates in the ticket becoming permanent records and next to no collaboration tools, but it's the central platform used by our technical team, so it's familiar. Teams is used for chat functionality along with meetings to discuss project requirements, risks, implementation strategy etc but it's disjointed, to say the least. I personally use Loop pretty heavily and invite internal stakeholders, but this is barely used by others.
In the hopes of standardising our process to be a scalable solution, I was considering the following:
Some common projects that we action at the moment for our clients are Google Workspace/IMAP → Microsoft 365 migrations (turnkey), onboarding new managed clients, network upgrades and optimisations for existing pay-as-you-go/unmanaged clients and similar.
Our current internal tools are Microsoft 365 for email, Teams for internal chat communication (company updates, SharePoint/OneDrive for company documents (generally as references rather than collaboration), requests for additional support from the junior technical team, etc), Zendesk for tickets, IT Glue for documentation, configuration (data pulled from some other platforms to help streamline) and credentials management for each client (managed and unmanaged), Watchman Monitoring + Team Viewer + Jamf Pro/Intune/Meraki Systems Manager for device management (mix depends on the client), Xero for quoting (manually) and invoicing (triggered with an integration from Zendesk for unmanaged clients). We don't have anything for proposals, automated quoting/estimating.
Any and all suggestions and recommendations greatly appreciated. Thank you.
submitted by timakudo to msp [link] [comments]
Depending on the project and the lead, our implementation varies widely. Our current process generally involves quoting from an estimation of labour and specific hardware needed, creating a "project ticket" in Zendesk and utilising third-party plugs to create linked sub-tickets for tasks. A very simple tracking files is whipped up in excel and used as a to-do list to ensure that tasks are completed, and incomplete tasks can be identified. Used more heavily for on-site implementations/upgrades to make sure that all items are ticked off. Lots of opportunities for post-implementation follow-up, review of lessons learnt, etc.
Being Zendesk, it's fairly limited, with updates in the ticket becoming permanent records and next to no collaboration tools, but it's the central platform used by our technical team, so it's familiar. Teams is used for chat functionality along with meetings to discuss project requirements, risks, implementation strategy etc but it's disjointed, to say the least. I personally use Loop pretty heavily and invite internal stakeholders, but this is barely used by others.
In the hopes of standardising our process to be a scalable solution, I was considering the following:
- Teams group chat (small/simple project) or a dedicated Team (larger project) for centralised collaboration
- A tab to a Loop Workspace for project planning and full-team collaboration
- A tab linking to a (new) Microsoft Planner plan for tasks management
- A tab for some kind of project quality/timeline/budget tracking option (excel file?)
- A tab for some kind of project performance dashboard for at-a-glance visibility
Some common projects that we action at the moment for our clients are Google Workspace/IMAP → Microsoft 365 migrations (turnkey), onboarding new managed clients, network upgrades and optimisations for existing pay-as-you-go/unmanaged clients and similar.
Our current internal tools are Microsoft 365 for email, Teams for internal chat communication (company updates, SharePoint/OneDrive for company documents (generally as references rather than collaboration), requests for additional support from the junior technical team, etc), Zendesk for tickets, IT Glue for documentation, configuration (data pulled from some other platforms to help streamline) and credentials management for each client (managed and unmanaged), Watchman Monitoring + Team Viewer + Jamf Pro/Intune/Meraki Systems Manager for device management (mix depends on the client), Xero for quoting (manually) and invoicing (triggered with an integration from Zendesk for unmanaged clients). We don't have anything for proposals, automated quoting/estimating.
Any and all suggestions and recommendations greatly appreciated. Thank you.
2024.05.14 04:54 _rosalea_ Was I wrong for walking out after waiting for 30 mins for an interview?
I had a job interview today that I wasn’t really that stoked for (the job was pretty low-level), and when I arrived, it took 10 minutes before I was even let into the HR room (I had to just wait there and no one was around). The guy that had invited me to the interview (not sure if he would’ve interviewed me or if it would be someone else) looked surprised and then asked me to sign in and take a seat.
I then waited another 20 ish minutes and he disappeared and no other staff were around. I had an interview call shortly that I was sort of running out of time to make and the guy/interviewer was nowhere to be seen so I just left.
I didn’t really think much of it and I didn’t reallyyyy want the job anyway. And I figured if this interview was so badly organized then the role itself and company itself probably wouldn’t have been good.
But now I’m feeling kind of like an idiot and like I should’ve waited a little bit longer or at least tried to communicate with someone. Or tried to reschedule or something. Idk, maybe I’m just overthinking it. I can’t do anything about it anyway, and I have other interviews lined up.
Just wanna know your thoughts on this!
submitted by _rosalea_ to jobs [link] [comments]
I then waited another 20 ish minutes and he disappeared and no other staff were around. I had an interview call shortly that I was sort of running out of time to make and the guy/interviewer was nowhere to be seen so I just left.
I didn’t really think much of it and I didn’t reallyyyy want the job anyway. And I figured if this interview was so badly organized then the role itself and company itself probably wouldn’t have been good.
But now I’m feeling kind of like an idiot and like I should’ve waited a little bit longer or at least tried to communicate with someone. Or tried to reschedule or something. Idk, maybe I’m just overthinking it. I can’t do anything about it anyway, and I have other interviews lined up.
Just wanna know your thoughts on this!
2024.05.14 04:48 Sub_a1122 Ugh I hate my life. Am I in the wrong to not want my cousins to come to my graduation?
I don’t want to invite my cousin and his wife to my graduation so much has happened in the past here that made me hate them and they obviously are just so fake. People are just gonna be a long story but just to give a background of why I don’t want to invite them last year in August my uncle is my cousins dad passed away, in a little while later, like less than a month later, my grandma passed away I thought that after the passing of his father, and then also my grandmother, that they would be more closer to us and treat us like family, but they are just stupid morons first we my family help them move into their house help them paint, takeoff the wallpaper‘s and do it and basically everything. Wow they didn’t have their “friends” to help them out at all yet when they decided to call people over to have dinner they did not invite us and we also knew those people to so it’s honestly so stupid. They have us do the hard work and then party with other people. What the fuck they did whatever after that they called us for cultural festival but honestly my parents didn’t like that they were celebrating too early because it hasn’t been 45 days since my grandma died but it’s been long enough since dad died and they said it’s celebrating all other people and they lied and said that they were only calling us, I feel like after that, they started to things behind our backs and started being big fat liars, especially my cousin his wife, already giving some looks at us whenever we go to their house and pretending to be busy. My cousin lies a lot now he’s also been the biggest liar of all. His wife freaking stayed in our house for like 2 weeks, twice because of the passing of her father-in-law and then my grandma and yet she treats us like shit it looks like she never wants to actually like make dinner whatever for us specifically because we’re re too much or whatever that’s why like five people even though now she’s pregnant with freaking twins soon gonna be a family of four and they eat way more than us anyways, there’s been quite a few instances where they had parties at their house with a lot of other people and then don’t even call us at least me and my siblings because we’re cousins like they didn’t call us for one of them. One time my mom and my brother went to her house and walked into a party that we were not invited to really embarrassing. What’s even more stupid is that my cousin’s wife didn’t even care to say that food in the kitchen it during lunch nor offer, no, she just gave apples lmfao. I am really mad at them all the stuff they’re doing and they’re not changing OK fine but I don’t want to be with them. I blocked both of their phone numbers. Now my parents are saying that I have to invite them to my graduation or else it’s gonna be an embarrassment to the family and we’re gonna look stupid. Even my siblings are saying that so I don’t know I don’t want to come to my graduation, especially since my cousin didn’t even come to my high school graduation, which is ultimately more significant since I’m just graduating from community college and transferring to a university this fall. I didn’t even feel like having a graduation this year. I just wanted to chill but after I got a notice that I got a very prestigious, recognition or or whatever you would call it now I have to go to the graduation for that and I would only be saying this and I want to invite them because of all the stuff the shit they did last year and this year. So am I being stupid 😭 Those people are just toxic!
submitted by Sub_a1122 to college [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 04:44 ShaneFerguson Roadside assistance on the Turnpike
OMG, there was so much detritus on the Turnpike Cars, Trucks, and Buses southbound lanes today. In trying to avoid some shredded truck tire I accidentally drove over some plastic body panel that ended up giving me a flat tire. Given the how close I was to the rush hour roadway I didn't feel comfortable changing the tire myself. So I called my insurance company for roadside assistance. After a long time sitting on the shoulder the private tow truck they contacted called me to say that they weren't allowed to service motorists and that I should call the state police who'd send someone. And that's what happened (thankfully they came within 30 minutes).
But the lock in the shins is that while I have roadside assistance through my insurance company the Turnpike contractor charged me $85 to come and change my tire. The mechanic have me a receipt and told me that my insurance company should reimburse me. Is this right? Has anyone been reimbursed by their insurance company for charges invited by the Turnpike's roadside assistance vendor?
submitted by ShaneFerguson to newjersey [link] [comments]
But the lock in the shins is that while I have roadside assistance through my insurance company the Turnpike contractor charged me $85 to come and change my tire. The mechanic have me a receipt and told me that my insurance company should reimburse me. Is this right? Has anyone been reimbursed by their insurance company for charges invited by the Turnpike's roadside assistance vendor?
2024.05.14 04:40 Dry_Forever4368 Are they the asshole?
Recently I have been on crutches and honestly shouldn’t be walking at all. I have tendonitis in my wrists and Achilles. I told this to my friends I have lunch with everyday and said I need to eat somewhere closer to my class because I can barely walk. One of my friends (who I eat lunch with everyday) said she wasn’t going to eat with me because it was too loud (it was in the Quieter area of work) and she needed to do some work. However she has said multiple types she needs to get in that room to do work, but every time she’s there she never does work and instead talks. I have never seen her work during our break once. I know this may seem small but it pissed me off. All of my other friends were busy. Am I overreacting? FYI: I have invited her to multiple events that were very expensive. She has canceled plans on me multiple times and said she’s busy then never makes new plans. However she’s always hanging out with her other work friends. She also got two other friends tickets to an amusement park and said she didn’t think I’d want to go.
submitted by Dry_Forever4368 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 04:35 dadamesirable Detaching myself from them
Since high school hanggang nag college ako never ako nagkaroon ng circle of friends. Napapasama naman ako minsan sa mga circle nila pero alam niyo yung feeling na extra ka lang dun? Like pag may kailangan sila lumalapit sila sayo pero pag may mga gala sila sila sila lang nagyayayaan tas makikita mo nalang na nagpost na sila ng picturr together.
Then after we graduated, nagkaroon ako ng close friends na classmates ko ,dalawa. Sabay kaming nag enroll sa review center, sabay kaming nagfile for board examination, sabay kaming nag aaral, basta super close kami that time. Hanggang sa natapos yung board exams and naging close din namin yung isang circle na classmate din namin. Sinasama kami pag may mga gala sila like sa beach or fiesta or kahit sa bahay lang nila to hang out. Sabay sabay din kami pumunta nung oath taking kasi thankfully pasado kami lahat. Then sa mga thanksgiving parties nila invited kami lagi. Tapos yung kinasal yung isa kasama kami sa mga bridesmaids.
Then recently yung unang naging close ko na kasama ko mula nung before pa kami nagreview hanggang sa nakapasa kami eh di na masyado nagchachat sakin. I mean I understand naman na may work na siya and iba na priorities niya. Actually di ko pa nga alam na may work na siya eh. Dun ko na nalaman nung nag attend kami ng kasal. Sabi niya need daw niya ng picture as proof kasi umabsent lang siya. Nag ask ako ano ba work niya sabi niya secret. Okay, di ko na pinilit. Pero malalaman ko na sa bago naming naging close nag oopen up pala siya at nagsheshare. Nadisappoint ako kasi kami unang naging close ehh. Okay lang sana kung kung nagsesecret siya sakin tas ganun din sa mga bago naming friends diba. Kaso hindi, sakin lang siya ganun, tas malalaman ko sa bago naming naging close na alam pala nila kung anong work ni girl pati boyfriend ni girl. I felt so left out. Parang sila na yung mas close tas ako out of the picture na?
Tas eto pa, dati iniinvite ako ni girl sa birthday niya at fiesta sa kanila tas recently nakita ko nalang sa post na umuwi pala siya tas nasa kanila yung bago niyang circle of friends kasi fiesta sa kanila. Wala na talaga. Di ko nga alam may nagawa ba kong mali para bigla nalang maechapwera. Pero di ko na pinilit sarili ko sa kanila. I unfollowed them para di ko na makita mga posts nila. Yung iba minsan nagchachat sakin para lang magpatulong pero I restricted them na kaya ayun di na din talaga sila nagchachat and nalaman ko nalang din na kinasal na pala yung isa ang I'm not invited na.
I just get this off my chest. Pero I'm okay now. I still have 2 bestfriends na kasama ko talaga through ups and downs. I totally detached myself from them. I don't know if they say something bad about me dahil di ko na sila tinutulungan pero Not invited = Don‘t go. Not told = Don‘t ask. Late invites = Decline. You were never part of the plan.
Pinapangatawanan ko na yan. Ayoko isiksik sarili ko sa kanila nagmumukha akong desperada.
submitted by dadamesirable to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
Then after we graduated, nagkaroon ako ng close friends na classmates ko ,dalawa. Sabay kaming nag enroll sa review center, sabay kaming nagfile for board examination, sabay kaming nag aaral, basta super close kami that time. Hanggang sa natapos yung board exams and naging close din namin yung isang circle na classmate din namin. Sinasama kami pag may mga gala sila like sa beach or fiesta or kahit sa bahay lang nila to hang out. Sabay sabay din kami pumunta nung oath taking kasi thankfully pasado kami lahat. Then sa mga thanksgiving parties nila invited kami lagi. Tapos yung kinasal yung isa kasama kami sa mga bridesmaids.
Then recently yung unang naging close ko na kasama ko mula nung before pa kami nagreview hanggang sa nakapasa kami eh di na masyado nagchachat sakin. I mean I understand naman na may work na siya and iba na priorities niya. Actually di ko pa nga alam na may work na siya eh. Dun ko na nalaman nung nag attend kami ng kasal. Sabi niya need daw niya ng picture as proof kasi umabsent lang siya. Nag ask ako ano ba work niya sabi niya secret. Okay, di ko na pinilit. Pero malalaman ko na sa bago naming naging close nag oopen up pala siya at nagsheshare. Nadisappoint ako kasi kami unang naging close ehh. Okay lang sana kung kung nagsesecret siya sakin tas ganun din sa mga bago naming friends diba. Kaso hindi, sakin lang siya ganun, tas malalaman ko sa bago naming naging close na alam pala nila kung anong work ni girl pati boyfriend ni girl. I felt so left out. Parang sila na yung mas close tas ako out of the picture na?
Tas eto pa, dati iniinvite ako ni girl sa birthday niya at fiesta sa kanila tas recently nakita ko nalang sa post na umuwi pala siya tas nasa kanila yung bago niyang circle of friends kasi fiesta sa kanila. Wala na talaga. Di ko nga alam may nagawa ba kong mali para bigla nalang maechapwera. Pero di ko na pinilit sarili ko sa kanila. I unfollowed them para di ko na makita mga posts nila. Yung iba minsan nagchachat sakin para lang magpatulong pero I restricted them na kaya ayun di na din talaga sila nagchachat and nalaman ko nalang din na kinasal na pala yung isa ang I'm not invited na.
I just get this off my chest. Pero I'm okay now. I still have 2 bestfriends na kasama ko talaga through ups and downs. I totally detached myself from them. I don't know if they say something bad about me dahil di ko na sila tinutulungan pero Not invited = Don‘t go. Not told = Don‘t ask. Late invites = Decline. You were never part of the plan.
Pinapangatawanan ko na yan. Ayoko isiksik sarili ko sa kanila nagmumukha akong desperada.
2024.05.14 04:31 passwordstolen “I’m obligated to go to the board and tell them what I saw”
Cliff tells Howard he is obligated to go to the board, after Howard appears to be on drugs and blew the arbitration hearing.
But wouldn’t he have been obligated to tell the board back when he saw “cocaine” fall out of his locker, tossed a prostitute out of his car and maybe even tell them about the hookers at lunch? There was a judge sitting right there watching at lunch, so people definitely hear about that and word would get back to the board and possibly blow back on Cliff.
Cliff’s character seems unimpeachable and I don’t see him covering for Howard for felonies or any behaviors that could damage the firms reputation. Owners have been fired for much less than that. Take John Scully and Steve Jobs for example, and that was a tech company, not even a high profile law firm.
submitted by passwordstolen to betterCallSaul [link] [comments]
But wouldn’t he have been obligated to tell the board back when he saw “cocaine” fall out of his locker, tossed a prostitute out of his car and maybe even tell them about the hookers at lunch? There was a judge sitting right there watching at lunch, so people definitely hear about that and word would get back to the board and possibly blow back on Cliff.
Cliff’s character seems unimpeachable and I don’t see him covering for Howard for felonies or any behaviors that could damage the firms reputation. Owners have been fired for much less than that. Take John Scully and Steve Jobs for example, and that was a tech company, not even a high profile law firm.
2024.05.14 04:16 raifoundnemo I got fired today.
I just got fired from a major corporation. I’ve been a pharmacy technician since October 2021. I’m near Charlotte, NC. USA
I can fill in more details as needed. I feel like so much has happened during my time with this company, I’m not even really sure which parts of the story are relevant.
But to start, I was at a store that didn’t have a store manager for 6 months and I was having issues getting hours, support, literally any paperwork being done because my pharmacy manager (pharmacist in charge, RXM) did not like me. We were understaffed, there was a ton of drama. I had spoken to the district manager (DM) about my issues several times and finally after a technician lashed out and threw some filling totes and some bagged prescriptions at me and another technician, I called him after work and told him I no longer felt safe and wouldn’t be returning to work until he handled the situation.
I help out at other stores all the time and one of the stores I help out offered me to transfer. Additionally, right after I left pretty much everyone quit, I was not the only person with issues at that store. After that situation, since I was already starting the process of transferring, instead of waiting two more weeks I immediately went to the new store. During this time I had started the process for ADA accommodations through HR and with my doctor.
The week I started at the new store, I sat down with the pharmacy tech manager (RXOM) and the store manager (SM). This probably should have been my first red flag, but the SM basically asked something along the lines of why he should let me transfer because it sounds like I had a lot of problems at the old store. So upon starting at this specific store, I disclosed issues I have socially due to my disability and stated that I needed clear communication because I do not pick up on hints or subtleties and that I needed clear feedback when I have made a mistake or in a situation where I upset someone. I also disclosed that I would need additional assistance in tense situations with customers and coworkers. I explained there was a lot of drama and pettiness at my old pharmacy and that I inadvertently caused a lot of issues because I was oblivious to it. The SM basically decided that it didn’t sound like an issue to be clear and concise and kind of guide me through situations that come up. He assured me I could talk to him anytime. I was repeatedly ignored when I requested aid in those situations. And then if the outcome was less than satisfactory, I was punished. The tech manager became my support needs liaison, but the store and assistant manager refused to accommodate me. The tech manager actually got a lot of crap for trying to help me. I have a disability that can affect the way I am perceived by other people and speaking to people about it usually helps clear up any problems. I was not given an opportunity to do this. I thought I was protecting myself my disclosing my needs and weaknesses.
So at this store a few things happened with different people all at once and the store became short staffed. I started helping out a lot, staying late when I could, picking up shifts even though I had to find extra childcare. The pharmacy manager quit a few weeks after I got there, a few technicians quit or drastically reduced their hours, a couple people went on leave. So the ESM (assistant store manager) started helping out in the pharmacy more, mostly with filling prescriptions. I was warned before she started helping out that she was really prickly and if I had any issues that I could talk to the RXOM. There were a few things that came up and he told me that I wasn’t misconstruing things, to just ignore her.
And then came a day where we had a ton of call outs, my RXOM wasn’t in that day and the SM had left. It was Christmas eve weekend. So the pharmacy was gonna be closed the next day. So we were extremely short staffed, extremely busy and the phones were insane. The ESM started out the day basically complaining to us about how nothing was done, it was a mess, etc etc. I wouldn’t even call it passive aggressive. She was outright threatening and saying she would definitely be telling the RXM and SM about how incompetent we were, how out of hand everything was.
There was an incident with a customer, he was yelling at me because I went to lunch before helping him and instead of letting me handle it, the ESM jumped in without really even getting a handle on what was happening. I got written up for the way I spoke to the patient and how I handled the situation with the ESM because I had stepped over to the floater pharmacist and when asked I explained the situation. She told the story as me mumbling under my breath and complaining and carrying on. The rest of the day was pretty much the same, her carrying on about how useless we were and at one point she said it was a mess and that we (the techs) would be staying after to clean it up. I was slightly irritated that she told me I had to rather than asking, especially because the mess was from the days previous, from other techs, etc. It just had been a hectic few days, with short staff. I knew how she was though so I just decided I would stay. Right before we closed, she told me she wanted to speak to me. I had assumed she was going to give us a game plan for how to clean up quickly so we could go. I went over to her after we closed and she started to tear into me for disrespecting her and then noticed I wasn’t making eye contact. It had been a long day and I was feeling really overwhelmed. She made a big deal about it and I told her I couldn’t make eye contact with her because I have a disability but assured her I was listening to her. She went back and forth with me a few times basically trying to force me to look her in the eyes or I was disrespecting her. She ended up saying that she couldn’t speak to me if I wasn’t going to look her in the eyes when she spoke to me. I took this as a dismissal, so part of my write up was for insubordination because I left and refused to have a conversation with her. I reported the incident to HR, briefly spoke with them and thought that was the end of it.
Well shortly after, she started being extremely short with me, very dramatically avoidant like when I walked in the pharmacy would say things like “that’s my cue to leave”. If she asked for help out loud, if I tried to help her she would tell me she didn’t want my help and she would get someone else. I tried not to let it bother me but it definitely stressed me out over time. The few times I did help her, she would throw whatever she was working on down and storm from the pharmacy muttering that she would tell SM about whatever, usually swearing. I asked the other managers what I was doing wrong and was never given any answers. Or guidance. I brought it up a few times and was always brushed off. That never really ended.
An important detail is that the schedule was consistently put out on Wednesdays, usually evenings and our week started on Thursdays. Our weeks run Thursdays-Wednesdays.
There were a few other small issues, I had talked to the managers about issues with scheduling and basically just got constantly brushed off. I had agreed to a general schedule of opens and mids and every other Sunday when I transferred and they weren’t able to accommodate it anymore, they started scheduling me all over the place, closes, several weekends in a row. This made childcare difficult especially with short notice because daycare has set hours. When I got my first warning about tardiness, I brought this up and was accused of blaming everyone else for my tardiness and told to have some accountability.
By this point, I dreaded going to work when the SM or ESM was there. I would get so anxious, I would be physically sick, throwing up, gastro issues, migraines. I was constantly in a state of overstimulation. Again, I asked for help and got blown off.
So in February there was an incident that led up to me requesting short term leave. My son had a minor medical issue that I took him to the doctor for, she made an appointment for the following Thursday at an eye doctor at 8:15am. I told my RXOM I couldn’t work Thursday, he ended up scheduling me to close. 12-9. I called out around 9am after getting to my son’s appointment and learning he had to do some tests for underlying issues including being dilated. He’s 3 so I needed to be with him because he was really disoriented. We finished around 4pm and my RXOM had texted me several times for updates telling me other people called out and they really needed me. I told him that my son needed me and he basically begged me to come in for a few hours to close. I finally relented and got there around 5-6 and stayed until close. No one said anything to me, so I didn’t think anything of it. A few weeks go by and on February 19, I was called into the office for a meeting with the SM and RXOM and received a write up for being 5 hours late that day. If I would have just left it as a call out, there would be no disciplinary action because I had not used any yet for the year. This was incredibly frustrating and the way it was presented was really overwhelming. I told them I was getting overwhelmed and would like to step out, the SM continued to talk down to me. I was getting increasingly agitated, my stims were getting faster and I started to rock back and forth, beginning to have an autistic meltdown. The SM told me I needed to calm down, tried to get me to speak to him while I was shutting down and just kept scolding me, I honestly don’t even know what he was saying by this point. I told the RXOM I needed to step out and I walked out of the office next door to the break room to turn on the sink and I just completely shut down, I crawled under the counter in the break room and had a complete shutdown/meltdown. My muscles locked up, I was crying and rocking back and forth and covering my ears and had my arms over my eyes, all stimulation was bothering me. The RXOM came to check on me and saw me having a meltdown and that I was unable to communicate so he pulled my file and called my emergency contact and basically just told him I was melting down and I was under the sink and needed to be picked up.
My partner came to get me, we left my car, I went home and calmed down and then called my company’s HR and put a request in for short term medical leave. My doctor had been urging me to do this for over 6 months. I texted my RXOM and SM asking what I should do next and heard nothing so I reported to work on 2/20. Upon arriving, the guest pharmacist notified me we had a call out. After everyone arrived, I asked who the call out was and the ESM, pharmacist and other techs didn’t know. The SM was not there. The RXOM wasn’t answering my texts. An hour into my shift, the RXOM told me that they were told my leave was approved and I wouldn’t be there. I asked what to do and got nothing in response.
During my lunch break on 2/20/24, I received a call on my personal phone from HR outlining my short term leave and giving me instruction on paperwork. They verified leave was supposed to start 2/19 and I explained no one answered me so I reported to work. She told me she would have to change my leave to go into effect starting 2/21.
Fast forward, my leave ends 5/8/24, and I had not heard anything beyond communication with HR about it ending. I text my RXM and tell him I am returning to work and ask what my next steps are. He replies late evening and tells me to reach out to SM and I tell him I will in the morning. The next morning, I receive a text with my name written in and highlighted, I’m not scheduled for the first few days (Thursday-Sunday) and I’m scheduled Monday-Wednesday. So I go in for my scheduled shift on 5/13/24. During my leave, my RXOM and a bunch of technicians quit. We gained a full time staff pharmacist and a couple technicians. I get there at 10:00 and I work until 12:00 (so for two hours) and I’m called into the office with the SM and RXM and told the SM told me that I received a final written warning for insubordination and tardiness so they decided to terminate my employment due to my continued insubordination and job abandonment and because a member of management complained about my attitude. He went on to say that he contacted HR and reported that I had an “episode” and walked away from him when he was trying to communicate with me and resolve a conflict which was the insubordination and then after my “episode” I went home instead of finishing my shift. Despite putting my leave in the day it happened, because the date of leave was changed, the day I left early wasn’t covered under FMLA.
So far, I have submitted a request to the EEOC, but their first available appointment was 11/4/24. I was not in a state to call lawyers today, but I filled out a couple online forms for Employment Discrimination lawyers that had online contact forms. Immediately after being terminated, I went to my car and logged into the employee portal and downloaded all of my available paystubs and the documented disciplinary action sheets. There wasn’t one for termination, I asked my SM how I would obtain that information and he told me to contact HR. I have some screenshots from text message communication mostly asking the RXOM for help with conflicts, but the SM would really only talk to me in the office.
I’m looking for advice on what to do next. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed. Obviously, I am going to work on my resume and start applying to jobs, but beyond that I’m not really sure what to do next. Any advice is appreciated. Even if it’s to tell me that I’m in the wrong. If you read my novel, thank you. <3
TLDR; I have autism and I was bullied into having a meltdown and then fired after returning from short term medical leave for going home early. I feel like they were looking for reasons to fire me as retaliation for reporting the ESM to HR.
submitted by raifoundnemo to legaladvice [link] [comments]
I can fill in more details as needed. I feel like so much has happened during my time with this company, I’m not even really sure which parts of the story are relevant.
But to start, I was at a store that didn’t have a store manager for 6 months and I was having issues getting hours, support, literally any paperwork being done because my pharmacy manager (pharmacist in charge, RXM) did not like me. We were understaffed, there was a ton of drama. I had spoken to the district manager (DM) about my issues several times and finally after a technician lashed out and threw some filling totes and some bagged prescriptions at me and another technician, I called him after work and told him I no longer felt safe and wouldn’t be returning to work until he handled the situation.
I help out at other stores all the time and one of the stores I help out offered me to transfer. Additionally, right after I left pretty much everyone quit, I was not the only person with issues at that store. After that situation, since I was already starting the process of transferring, instead of waiting two more weeks I immediately went to the new store. During this time I had started the process for ADA accommodations through HR and with my doctor.
The week I started at the new store, I sat down with the pharmacy tech manager (RXOM) and the store manager (SM). This probably should have been my first red flag, but the SM basically asked something along the lines of why he should let me transfer because it sounds like I had a lot of problems at the old store. So upon starting at this specific store, I disclosed issues I have socially due to my disability and stated that I needed clear communication because I do not pick up on hints or subtleties and that I needed clear feedback when I have made a mistake or in a situation where I upset someone. I also disclosed that I would need additional assistance in tense situations with customers and coworkers. I explained there was a lot of drama and pettiness at my old pharmacy and that I inadvertently caused a lot of issues because I was oblivious to it. The SM basically decided that it didn’t sound like an issue to be clear and concise and kind of guide me through situations that come up. He assured me I could talk to him anytime. I was repeatedly ignored when I requested aid in those situations. And then if the outcome was less than satisfactory, I was punished. The tech manager became my support needs liaison, but the store and assistant manager refused to accommodate me. The tech manager actually got a lot of crap for trying to help me. I have a disability that can affect the way I am perceived by other people and speaking to people about it usually helps clear up any problems. I was not given an opportunity to do this. I thought I was protecting myself my disclosing my needs and weaknesses.
So at this store a few things happened with different people all at once and the store became short staffed. I started helping out a lot, staying late when I could, picking up shifts even though I had to find extra childcare. The pharmacy manager quit a few weeks after I got there, a few technicians quit or drastically reduced their hours, a couple people went on leave. So the ESM (assistant store manager) started helping out in the pharmacy more, mostly with filling prescriptions. I was warned before she started helping out that she was really prickly and if I had any issues that I could talk to the RXOM. There were a few things that came up and he told me that I wasn’t misconstruing things, to just ignore her.
And then came a day where we had a ton of call outs, my RXOM wasn’t in that day and the SM had left. It was Christmas eve weekend. So the pharmacy was gonna be closed the next day. So we were extremely short staffed, extremely busy and the phones were insane. The ESM started out the day basically complaining to us about how nothing was done, it was a mess, etc etc. I wouldn’t even call it passive aggressive. She was outright threatening and saying she would definitely be telling the RXM and SM about how incompetent we were, how out of hand everything was.
There was an incident with a customer, he was yelling at me because I went to lunch before helping him and instead of letting me handle it, the ESM jumped in without really even getting a handle on what was happening. I got written up for the way I spoke to the patient and how I handled the situation with the ESM because I had stepped over to the floater pharmacist and when asked I explained the situation. She told the story as me mumbling under my breath and complaining and carrying on. The rest of the day was pretty much the same, her carrying on about how useless we were and at one point she said it was a mess and that we (the techs) would be staying after to clean it up. I was slightly irritated that she told me I had to rather than asking, especially because the mess was from the days previous, from other techs, etc. It just had been a hectic few days, with short staff. I knew how she was though so I just decided I would stay. Right before we closed, she told me she wanted to speak to me. I had assumed she was going to give us a game plan for how to clean up quickly so we could go. I went over to her after we closed and she started to tear into me for disrespecting her and then noticed I wasn’t making eye contact. It had been a long day and I was feeling really overwhelmed. She made a big deal about it and I told her I couldn’t make eye contact with her because I have a disability but assured her I was listening to her. She went back and forth with me a few times basically trying to force me to look her in the eyes or I was disrespecting her. She ended up saying that she couldn’t speak to me if I wasn’t going to look her in the eyes when she spoke to me. I took this as a dismissal, so part of my write up was for insubordination because I left and refused to have a conversation with her. I reported the incident to HR, briefly spoke with them and thought that was the end of it.
Well shortly after, she started being extremely short with me, very dramatically avoidant like when I walked in the pharmacy would say things like “that’s my cue to leave”. If she asked for help out loud, if I tried to help her she would tell me she didn’t want my help and she would get someone else. I tried not to let it bother me but it definitely stressed me out over time. The few times I did help her, she would throw whatever she was working on down and storm from the pharmacy muttering that she would tell SM about whatever, usually swearing. I asked the other managers what I was doing wrong and was never given any answers. Or guidance. I brought it up a few times and was always brushed off. That never really ended.
An important detail is that the schedule was consistently put out on Wednesdays, usually evenings and our week started on Thursdays. Our weeks run Thursdays-Wednesdays.
There were a few other small issues, I had talked to the managers about issues with scheduling and basically just got constantly brushed off. I had agreed to a general schedule of opens and mids and every other Sunday when I transferred and they weren’t able to accommodate it anymore, they started scheduling me all over the place, closes, several weekends in a row. This made childcare difficult especially with short notice because daycare has set hours. When I got my first warning about tardiness, I brought this up and was accused of blaming everyone else for my tardiness and told to have some accountability.
By this point, I dreaded going to work when the SM or ESM was there. I would get so anxious, I would be physically sick, throwing up, gastro issues, migraines. I was constantly in a state of overstimulation. Again, I asked for help and got blown off.
So in February there was an incident that led up to me requesting short term leave. My son had a minor medical issue that I took him to the doctor for, she made an appointment for the following Thursday at an eye doctor at 8:15am. I told my RXOM I couldn’t work Thursday, he ended up scheduling me to close. 12-9. I called out around 9am after getting to my son’s appointment and learning he had to do some tests for underlying issues including being dilated. He’s 3 so I needed to be with him because he was really disoriented. We finished around 4pm and my RXOM had texted me several times for updates telling me other people called out and they really needed me. I told him that my son needed me and he basically begged me to come in for a few hours to close. I finally relented and got there around 5-6 and stayed until close. No one said anything to me, so I didn’t think anything of it. A few weeks go by and on February 19, I was called into the office for a meeting with the SM and RXOM and received a write up for being 5 hours late that day. If I would have just left it as a call out, there would be no disciplinary action because I had not used any yet for the year. This was incredibly frustrating and the way it was presented was really overwhelming. I told them I was getting overwhelmed and would like to step out, the SM continued to talk down to me. I was getting increasingly agitated, my stims were getting faster and I started to rock back and forth, beginning to have an autistic meltdown. The SM told me I needed to calm down, tried to get me to speak to him while I was shutting down and just kept scolding me, I honestly don’t even know what he was saying by this point. I told the RXOM I needed to step out and I walked out of the office next door to the break room to turn on the sink and I just completely shut down, I crawled under the counter in the break room and had a complete shutdown/meltdown. My muscles locked up, I was crying and rocking back and forth and covering my ears and had my arms over my eyes, all stimulation was bothering me. The RXOM came to check on me and saw me having a meltdown and that I was unable to communicate so he pulled my file and called my emergency contact and basically just told him I was melting down and I was under the sink and needed to be picked up.
My partner came to get me, we left my car, I went home and calmed down and then called my company’s HR and put a request in for short term medical leave. My doctor had been urging me to do this for over 6 months. I texted my RXOM and SM asking what I should do next and heard nothing so I reported to work on 2/20. Upon arriving, the guest pharmacist notified me we had a call out. After everyone arrived, I asked who the call out was and the ESM, pharmacist and other techs didn’t know. The SM was not there. The RXOM wasn’t answering my texts. An hour into my shift, the RXOM told me that they were told my leave was approved and I wouldn’t be there. I asked what to do and got nothing in response.
During my lunch break on 2/20/24, I received a call on my personal phone from HR outlining my short term leave and giving me instruction on paperwork. They verified leave was supposed to start 2/19 and I explained no one answered me so I reported to work. She told me she would have to change my leave to go into effect starting 2/21.
Fast forward, my leave ends 5/8/24, and I had not heard anything beyond communication with HR about it ending. I text my RXM and tell him I am returning to work and ask what my next steps are. He replies late evening and tells me to reach out to SM and I tell him I will in the morning. The next morning, I receive a text with my name written in and highlighted, I’m not scheduled for the first few days (Thursday-Sunday) and I’m scheduled Monday-Wednesday. So I go in for my scheduled shift on 5/13/24. During my leave, my RXOM and a bunch of technicians quit. We gained a full time staff pharmacist and a couple technicians. I get there at 10:00 and I work until 12:00 (so for two hours) and I’m called into the office with the SM and RXM and told the SM told me that I received a final written warning for insubordination and tardiness so they decided to terminate my employment due to my continued insubordination and job abandonment and because a member of management complained about my attitude. He went on to say that he contacted HR and reported that I had an “episode” and walked away from him when he was trying to communicate with me and resolve a conflict which was the insubordination and then after my “episode” I went home instead of finishing my shift. Despite putting my leave in the day it happened, because the date of leave was changed, the day I left early wasn’t covered under FMLA.
So far, I have submitted a request to the EEOC, but their first available appointment was 11/4/24. I was not in a state to call lawyers today, but I filled out a couple online forms for Employment Discrimination lawyers that had online contact forms. Immediately after being terminated, I went to my car and logged into the employee portal and downloaded all of my available paystubs and the documented disciplinary action sheets. There wasn’t one for termination, I asked my SM how I would obtain that information and he told me to contact HR. I have some screenshots from text message communication mostly asking the RXOM for help with conflicts, but the SM would really only talk to me in the office.
I’m looking for advice on what to do next. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed. Obviously, I am going to work on my resume and start applying to jobs, but beyond that I’m not really sure what to do next. Any advice is appreciated. Even if it’s to tell me that I’m in the wrong. If you read my novel, thank you. <3
TLDR; I have autism and I was bullied into having a meltdown and then fired after returning from short term medical leave for going home early. I feel like they were looking for reasons to fire me as retaliation for reporting the ESM to HR.