Videos. sexuales

Last night and the day before that, my ex-girlfriend, who was also my mommy, sent me a bunch of texts and called my phone saying that she's doing better and apparently wants to "re-do our previous relationship". But, she has said hurtful things to me and people I know. During a video game match I was having with me, her and one of my friends,
she had called my friend the r-slur and completely went nuts on him because he joked about something that was embarrassing to me, even though I had already told her that I would handle the situation that happened and talk to him just because I personally know him better and he said that she scares him, she still crossed that line.
Also, there was a time in which she sexualized me for being hyper-sexual while I was regressing or about to regress. she would ask creepy shit like if I was a "horny baby" or making sex related noises in my ears and just being very sexual with me whilst knowing i was regressed, not to mention that my regression ages are 0 to 2 years old and her doing that is very fucked up.
Although, I think it might just be little me missing her and wanting to share things I brought for myself while she was away. I'm not sure... but I know big me doesn't really miss her like that. Anyway, she is now harassing and spam calling/texting in an attempt to get back with me, Little me wants her very badly even though I know that people are telling me I shouldn't even go back to her because I've never gone back to past ex's in my life after a breakup. I don't even know what the hell to do anymore at this point.

Okay do where do I start? I figure that this post is suitable to post here because I feel like it has something to do with PA. So my dad has always been a good dad but I got a bunch of examples of him being a PA, the signs were all there when I was a kid but my mind was still developing.
-At my parents wedding in the 90s, he got drunk and was grabbing EVERY woman's ass dancing! Including my mom's sisters, my grandma, etc. Being drunk is no excuse but now that I think about it, it does make me shudder. That's so gross omg like it really is wild. If I were my mom I would've caused a scene and the wedding would be canceled. Just how nasty do you have to be? And to do that with his side of the family there!! Madness
-When I was under 10 years old, he told me that women were objects after I said that they were people.
-when my mom and him were out on a date , she told me he flat out was staring at a black lady's 🍑 in front of her
-When I was a kid I stumbled upon porn magazines and would look at them sometimes. I always thought porn was cheating even as a kid, I did feel sad for my mom at the time too.
-when my dad would take my brother and I to the dentist , he would leave us in the car for an hour or more to go to an adult video shop. Looking back, why couldn't have that been done on his free time when he was alone? Was he really that controlled by his last?
-also when I was a kid , there was this show on spike called manswers and it was pretty sexual. He would watch that show in front of me, which is pretty odd.
-also as a kid, I was at my grandma's house from my mom's side and the male family members were in the garage, and I was in there too. I see my dad flipping through a magazine with scantily clad women (the magazine was my older cousins, which he isn't any better)
-Dated a 13 year old when he was 18 and their families knew -when he first made an IG account (he's a boomer), he was following some women younger than me (I'm 24), it's weird as fuck. Shouldn't ones taste in women change as they get older?
I'm telling yall, I'm so fucked up from dating addicts as well. My dating life is no acception. It just sucks that so many guys are slaves to lust. I got severe trust issues. There is so many weak guys, what happened to real men? I don't want to but I find male sexuality very revolting. That is my vent. I feel like how my dad seen women is the root of why I think every guy will be that way even behind my back.

I've said things like this before in posts and comments but here it is again because I think is always helpful a friendly reminder.
YOU HAVE TO DO THE WORK! I'm on day 56, life is better, sex is better, health is better and for the first time in over 21 years I feel like I'm in the right direction. So here's a short list that will help you on your journey to recovery.

1. You have to do your research online (I personally recommend Dr. Trish Leigh videos on YouTube).
   
2. You have to erase all of the triggers you have online (definitely delete X/Twitter, Telegram and all porn sites you have and you have to clean your social media, if you don't want to erase or unfollow then mute all the profiles that trigger you).
   
3. You have to talk to someone (family, friends, partner, whoever you trust, you need to speak about your addiction so you can be accountable; and if you don't have anyone you trust then talk to a free online therapist or to yourself).
   
4. You need to stop shocking your system and avoid shocking content (Don't watch things involving violence, gore, sexual content, sexual trauma, depression, death, abuse, etc.) because watching these things will make you feel bad or will make you numb, either way your brain will look for porn as a stimulus to get better.
   
5. You need new hobbies that create instead of destroy (this means things like exercise, art, music, board games, yoga, books, professional wrestling, meditation, etc. Avoid things with a toxic or violent fan base and environment, things related to sex, abuse or violence in general).
   
6. You have to forgive yourself (You have to, it's important).
   

Don't give up, you got this! It doesn't matter if it's hard, it doesn't matter if you relapse, it doesn't matter if you slip-up, just don't give up!
Good luck to you all! -Angel

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I wasn't planning on watching Thrice Upon A Time. I had not liked the previous films and they seemed like a very inferior product compared to the original anime. However, the good reviews and opinions I saw about it encouraged me to do so. I did it with as open and tolerant a mind as possible, knowing that there was a good chance I wouldn't like the film. "What's the worst that could happen? That I don't like it and continue to prefer the original series? At least I'll be entertained for two and a half hours," I thought. What I did not expect at all is the deep feeling of disgust and repulsion that this film provoked in me, in a way that no other film has provoked in years.
I hated the movie from start to finish. I could spend hours talking about the boring action sequences, about its ugly, excessive CGI that ruins the already ugly mecha, about its disgusting hypersexualization of fucking 14-year-old girls, about how Misato's plans don't make sense, about how Last Kiss almost made me tear my ears off, or its plot full of Deus Ex Machinas with concepts conveniently taken by Hideaki Anno from the place that his last name suggests; but the real reason I'm writing this is because I feel like these movies spit on everything the excellent original work represents.
Not only because as adaptations they fail miserably, but also because they retroactively damage the original work (we'll talk about that later).
Before I begin to explain why the rebuilds are bad adaptations, I want to warn that I am going to do a relatively exhaustive review of the 4 films, so this rant is going to be very long, like staying up late on a winter night with chronic insomnia. That said, let's start to see the reasons:
WHAT IS NEON GENESIS EVANGELION?:
To understand why rebuilds fail as remakes, I must first ask you, dear reader: What does Neon Genesis Evangelion mean to you? (it should at least be familiar to you, unless you've spent your life under a bridge) What do you think about when you read that title, apart from Shinji fucking in front of a comatose Asuka? What comes to mind when you hear the most famous opening in anime history, apart from Shinji strangling the otter against Happy Thursday's throat? (in more ways than one). If your answer is: "It's a mecha anime for emos with a coomer protagonist", that's fine, I respect that; but please press the red "X" in the top right corner of your screen, you can now leave.
Now, I'm going to get serious and explain my definition: Evangelion is a work about the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties of forming emotional bonds that human beings have, as well as the consequences of trying to separate from them for fear of rejection. It is not a story about heroes. It's not a story about saving the world. In Evangelion there are neither heroes nor villains, but rather a group of emotionally broken characters trying to be happy in a world just as broken as them. The real enemy of Evangelion is not the angels. It is the lack of communication and empathy.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilema_del_erizo
It is that same lack of communication and empathy that progressively causes everything to go to hell to conclude with a cathartic and bleak ending, but consistent with the themes of the work. It is therefore an existentialist work about human relationships disguised as a mecha anime. This, added to a unique visual style, daring direction, and mechas like never before seen on television, made Evangelion one of the most influential anime in all of history, as well as a true commercial success for Gainax Studio. Success that encouraged other studios to carry out projects such as Cowboy Bebop or Serial Experiment Lain, taking anime towards a new golden age.
Even today you can hear the echoes of that Third Impact of End of Evangelion in 1997. The list of works influenced by Evangelion both inside and outside of Japan is endless. Of course, it is not a perfect work, nor extensive in errors: its target audience is ambiguous, many of the biblical references are more for decoration than anything else, and several aspects of the ending(s) could have been explained better. However, many of these errors can be attributed to a lack of time and budget during the production of the original anime (which was quite chaotic and improvised); therefore, they are understandable and forgivable.
In summary, we can conclude that Evangelion is a dark, introspective, provocative and unique work (at least at its time). This is also combined with a unique visual identity and complex characters whose relationships intertwine and interconnect throughout the work. The sum of all these factors is what led Evangelion to be such a critically acclaimed work that it transcended its own genre and became an icon of popular culture. And this in turn constitutes the biggest mistake of rebuilds; because they commit the biggest sin that an adaptation can commit: denying everything that made the original work great.
ADAPTING WITHOUT A CLEAR PURPOSE:
One of the biggest problems with these remakes (as well as a clear example of what I'm saying) is their total narrative inconsistency. Let me explain: the first rebuilds movie (1.11) is a literal copy-paste of the first 6 chapters of the original anime, with practically the same scenes, dialogues and even music. This makes the film completely redundant and unnecessary (and makes one wonder why it exists); But in any case, the message is being conveyed that the purpose of these remakes is to adapt the original series as faithfully as possible to the cinema with a current animation style.
However, the second movie (2.22) is a... something. A pastiche of new and old things where the plot broadly follows that of the original anime, but with many things changed (of course, for the worse) and a different ending. All this compressing no less than 14 chapters of the original anime into two and a half hours. Here the message that one can infer is that it seeks to adapt the original story (very briefly) by changing and rearranging certain elements, now more in line with what an adaptation is.
However, then we get to 3.33 and... well, after a 14-year because reasons timeskip, we're now in a post-post-apocalyptic world (repetition intended) where ex-Nerv members fight against Nerv itself. Nerv in giant spaceships, there are mechas everywhere, Misato is a sociopath, and Shinji and Asuka still look exactly the same because "DAMN JEBA." Here we can infer that what is sought is to create a totally new story and take it in different directions than the original. The following movie (3.0+1.01) is the only one that is consistent with this purpose.
Whether all these narrative pirouettes were planned in advance or not (clearly not), we can see that there is a clear incongruity between what is intended to be done and what is finally done. All of this generates a strong narrative chaos where the elements and themes of the original anime are mixed with the new ones, creating a total inconsistency. Since also in 3.0+1.01 it is revealed (unfortunately to me) that everything is part of the same universe and this is not really a remake, the excuse of "they are different universes, they don't have to be the same" doesn't work either.
In fact, one thing that you will see me comment a lot throughout this article is the lack of narrative consistency of these remakes, especially in comparison to the original work.
A HEDGEHOG WITHOUT TICKS:
No character in Evangelion better embodies the central theme of the work than Shinji Ikari, its own protagonist. Shinji is not a hero: he is not brave. He is not a genius. He is not charismatic. He is not selfless. He doesn't want to save the world. His reason for piloting the Eva is to gain recognition and appreciation from others; especially from his father, whom he hates, but at the same time admires; He feels that she despises him, but he also wants (and needs) that she loves him. Shinji spends the entire series in the dilemma between escaping from what hurts him (classic avoidance behavior) or accepting it and moving on, even at the risk of being hurt again.
This theme is rock solid throughout the entire original series: from the first to the last chapter of the anime, and from minute one to the very end of End of Evangelion. Even the opening itself makes several visual references to Shinji's hedgehog dilemma. This can make Shinji an infuriating character for audiences accustomed to typical anime protagonists; but it's those same things that make Shinji such a unique and special character. He deconstructs and subverts the hero's journey. And it's not as if this hinders the plot: Shinji is not proactive, but he also does not spend the series crying, as many often claim.
https://files.catbox.moe/eolho0.mp4
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomito
And as you may already be imagining, the Shinji of the rebuilds does not have a hedgehog's dilemma. Or rather, he has it, but only during the first movie (copy-paste of the original anime) and part of the second. This is a problem, because it creates a strong narrative inconsistency (again) where it seems that two Shinjis exist at the same time or that this one is bipolar. As of 3.33, Shinji's entire character arc is based on trying to redeem himself for his past mistakes first by unleashing "Almost Third Impact" (what a stupid name) and subsequently preventing Kaworu's death while trying to right said mistake.
Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. The problem is that I have already seen the arc of the hero who fails to eventually rise up and succeed in 100 trillion works, while the hedgehog's dilemma in none more than in Evangelion (at least in my case). Which makes Shinji a much less interesting character. Some might argue that in 3.0 + 1.01 Shinji does have such a dilemma because he spends half the movie crawling on the ground; but there is not a hedgehog's dilemma, but rather depression for having seen Kaworu's head go KAWOOM (I know, the joke was very bad, but if he didn't do it, I would explode too).
End of Evangelion's Shinji did have such a dilemma because the reason for his depression was having been manipulated and used by someone he had previously opened up to and then forced to kill him, not for failing in his mission (in fact, he was very efficient in her mission to separate Kaworu's head from her body), which in turn brings sexual (and later, deadly) results for Asuka. I insist: narrative consistency. But this is not the worst: the worst thing is that at certain moments in these films, Shinji becomes the typical shonen savior hero, betraying the central point of his character in the original series.
https://youtu.be/E-x-f2OrWeA
A perfect example of this is the ending of 2.22, where the fight in chapter 19 (COINCENTLY from where the original anime starts to get more introspective) is transformed into a ridiculous shipping attempt, with Rei turned into a damsel in distress and Shinji into a savior hero while spouting all the typical cliché lines, topped off with a disgustingly cheesy ending. But of course, how could it end otherwise? With Shinji's Eva practicing cannibalism on Zeruel's corpse (the original scene)? Too disturbing for current times. Shinji and Rei fighting as a team to defeat him? Yes of course. Rei has enough not being in the kitchen. Besides, Asuka already takes care of that, hoping to receive her alpha male's cock as a reward.
https://youtu.be/TPS0Uk0TkP0
Because, like any good modern anime protagonist, Shinji now has a harem.
FETISHING WITHOUT CONTROL:
Of all the characters who are now part of Shinji's harem, the one who is most harmed by this is Rei (Asuka's case is different, and the other character is an infernal creation from Anno's sick mind). Not only because acting like a bitch in heat goes totally against her personality and because of the murky situation, considering that she is a clone of Shinji's mother, but also because her character is reduced to a mere fetish object that does things cute to produce tenderness in the viewer and make coomers buy their figurines.
Rei is an interesting character because he raises numerous existential questions based on the ship of Theseus paradox: the concept of identity, to what extent we can consider ourselves still ourselves, the construction and definition of a "self", etc. But here, her screen time piloting her Unit 00 is minimal (COINCENTLY most of it in 1.11) and her exploits are practically irrelevant or non-existent, also being reduced to a mere damsel in distress at the end of 2.22, as I said before.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradoja_de_Teseo
In 3.0+1.01 he doesn't even get to pilot an Eva. Her role in the film is to cause pity and produce tenderness with her total ignorance (I see that the idiot Anno forgot that all the Reis are born with basic knowledge) while she is seen with different hairstyles, different outfits, working as a farmer, taking care of a baby, etc. In short, a fetish object where she wants the public to value her for how "moe" she is instead of for her abilities or as a character. In Anno's mind, feminism advances in reverse. Ironic, considering that it was precisely Rei who unintentionally started the moe culture.
Of course, it goes without saying that Rei is not the only one who suffers from this extreme fetishization of her character in these films. Under the excuse of paying homage to End of Evangelion, Asuka now always wears an eye patch (needless to say it has nothing to do with having been injured there), a cap with cat ears, in addition to having a very convenient trend for the coomer public of walking naked and semi-naked through other people's houses. She sometimes puts on the plugsuit, but near the end of the movie, it is conveniently torn off, lest we forget that this is made by the Japanese.
One of the best examples of how this hareminication has destroyed the main female characters is in the elevator scene. In the original anime, Rei tries to advise Asuka in a time of particular vulnerability and depression. Rei's limited social skills, coupled with Asuka being Asuka, cause her to misinterpret the attempt to help as mockery and an act of condescension, triggering a slap from her towards Rei and a worsening of her already strained relationship and Asuka's mental state. Rei doesn't fight back because she knows that doing so would only make things even worse.
It is an excellent dramatic scene because it once again brings to the foreground the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties between human relationships, very much in line with what Evangelion is. In 2.22, this scene is gratuitously introduced and turned into two horny bitches fighting over which of the two will let their alpha male penetrate first, with a highly OC Rei stopping the assault attempt in a 100% gangsta way to make her see more "cool." The scene doesn't even make plot sense, because Asuka at that moment is not even depressed, and in the original anime this occurs at a much later time under a very different context.
and speaking of asuka...
SOMEONE CALLED ASUKA:
When I started watching these movies, I was afraid that Asuka's character had undergone modifications to make her more "palatable" to new audiences. What took me completely by surprise was how radically different this Asuka is from the original. So different that they can't even be considered the same character. To show it very clearly, we are going to review the personality of both:
Asuka from the original anime: An energetic and outgoing half-German, half-Japanese girl (actually it's 1/4, but who cares) who loves to be the center of attention and have everyone praise her due to the lack of parental love received during her childhood having been abandoned by her father and supplanted by her mother, who suffered from severe mental disorders. She is extremely proud and competitive because she feels that being Eva's pilot is the only thing that gives her an identity and purpose, which makes her tend to become quickly frustrated when things don't go her way and become defensive when she feels like she is being outmaneuvered. . He loves to make fun of others (especially Shinji), to the point of being cruel at times, but he does not do it out of malice, but rather to compensate for his enormous inferiority complex due to the rejection suffered by his mother and having witnessed her. committed suicide (and possibly even tried to kill her) the day she was chosen as Eva's pilot and came running to wish her a Happy Thursday. She admires Kaji and wants to fuck him because she hates her own adolescence, she needs to feel adult and independent due to suffering from a certain Electra complex for having lacked a true father figure during her childhood. She has a sweet and vulnerable nature, but she rarely expresses it to anyone except her best friend Hikari and I better stop this now because too much text.
Rebuild Asuka (hereinafter "Asuka"): A girl soldier created by Nerv as part of a series of clones who has always been alone and thinks she doesn't need anyone, although she secretly wishes to have a family. She hits and insults others for no reason, she yells a lot, never smiles or makes jokes, and hates socializing with others, which doesn't stop her from looking for Shinji's dick within 2 days of meeting him. She always plays video games while someone is talking to her and at night she talks to herself with a doll like an autistic person.
As we can see, these two characters not only look nothing alike: several of their traits directly contradict each other. Because they look alike, they are not even alike in aesthetics: the original Asuka had red hair and dressed in the traditional feminine way, while "Asuka" is light brown and dresses in a tomboy style (which I'm not saying is wrong, I'm just commenting to show the radical difference). It's not that they have changed Asuka: it's that they have directly murdered her to supplant her by someone with whom she only shares her first name (not even her last name). And needless to say, the change has been VERY for the worse.
To describe the first character, I had to spend 15 damn lines, and even then I had to leave out many important facets of his personality, his development in the original series and his entire character arc in EoE, because if I didn't have one endless bible For the second, 6 lines were enough for me, and I could have had more left over if I had been more concise. The first character is a complex and three-dimensional character, with multiple facets, edges and layers. She feels like a real person. The second character is a generic tsundere that you can find in any mecha anime of the week. She is not even comparable to the first; She's not even a good character.
We cannot speak of Flanderization because not even the most basic traits of the character have been respected. Nor can we speak of a deconstruction because that same absence of basic traits means that there is no character construction on which to stand in the first place. Obviously, this change greatly resents the interactions between characters: the original Asuka was a charismatic and fun character with the ability to drive the plot on her own (as soon as she appears in chapter 8 of the original anime she is already changing the entire dynamic between characters) , while "Asuka" is mostly only in the background or to fight; He doesn't even have a character arc as such. In fact, in 2.22 he has even less screen time than several supporting characters.
His chemistry with Shinji is also non-existent (and I'm not just referring to the romantic level) and they barely have any development together. They like each other here because... ehhhh... she likes how he cooks and he thinks she's hot? It's not that the AsuShinji (or ShinSuka, or whatever the hell it's called) here is forced: it's just that it doesn't even make sense. The only reason people still ship them together is because they did it in the 90s. Yūko Miyamura's performance also feels very lackadaisical and lacks passion, which is quite unlike her. Although perhaps this is intentional, since her character always talks as if she has the spear of Longinus permanently stuck up her rectum. In fact, the few times she says her iconic "Anta baka?" This one feels very forced, in addition to not having her characteristic high-pitched tone.
In short, the character has suffered the same fetishization as Rei (gamer girl, tomboy, one-eyed, etc.), but also with the aggravating factor that not even her basic characteristics have been respected here. This is especially disconcerting when we take into account that the rest of the characters have their original personalities more or less intact (albeit simplified). Even more disconcerting if we take into account that Asuka is possibly the most popular character in all of Evangelion, and even more so if we consider that she is Anno's favorite character (in fact, the initial idea was for Asuka to be the protagonist).
https://evaresources.wordpress.com/der-mond/
Given this, the inevitable question arises: "Why?" What was the point of turning Asuka into an inferior and tsundere copy of Rei, even more so when there are already three clones? It has always been rumored that Asuka is not popular in Japan, but that is completely false. The only semi-rational explanation I can think of is that they did it to please the haters. It's no secret that a portion within the Evangelion fandom (and outside of it) hates Asuka with a passion. They see her as someone toxic and cruel who dedicates herself to screwing others for no reason, without understanding that you don't have to like a well-written character.
https://imgur.com/a/KznXE1x
What these people fail to understand is that Asuka's verbal abuse is a defense mechanism to avoid opening up to others, since Asuka constantly says things that do not fit with what she really feels or thinks (clear proof is chapter 16 from the original series). It's not like it matters much, considering they were never more than an extremely vocal minority. That the character is so popular is proof of this. The great irony of all this is that the new "Asuka" is a much more unpleasant and detestable character than the original, since she lacks the redeemable qualities of the original and her moments of comic relief.
And if until now I have been more or less benevolent with this remake, this is something I cannot forgive: because changing a character just because a group of people doesn't like it is one of the most cowardly and pathetic acts in the world. that a writer can fall. The fact that this was also at the expense of one of the best female characters in the history of anime and with a wonderful story arc makes it even more bloody. Any other halfway competent writer would have responded with this.
https://youtu.be/5Js0ea6yPKM
...although if we go by Ockham's razor, the most likely explanation is simply that Hideaki Anno is mentally retarded.
A CHARACTER TO DESTROY A FRANCHISE AND BIND IT TO DARKNESS:
Mari Makinami Illustrious A.K.A María Iskariote (what an appropriate last name) is one of the worst creations ever made by humans. Not since the atomic bombs has humanity created something so horrible. Worse than the holocaust. Worse than fascism. Worse than Facebook memes. Worse than stepping on a lego. I would even dare to say that it is worse than pizza with pineapple. No character better reflects Anno's mental decline or better embodies all the problems of the current anime industry than this trash.
This character contributes absolutely nothing to the plot, he does not contribute at any time to its advancement, he lacks his own development or story, he does absolutely nothing relevant in the 3 films in which he appears, and he does not even have a defined personality. So much so, that all of her scenes could be eliminated or replaced by any other character and she would barely affect the plot, or not affect it at all.
The character is so frighteningly one-dimensional that she doesn't even show different emotions or moods during the three films in which she appears, always being perpetually happy and carefree even in tense situations for literally no reason. This leads to moments as surreal as her starting to sing and hum in scenes that are intended to be serious or dramatic (or so I think; perhaps what they wanted was to turn this into an unintentional comedy), again generating a gigantic narrative dissonance. The last third of 3.33 is the best example of this.
But that's not the worst: this character is clearly made for otaku coomers to masturbate to. She has almost every fetish possible: glasses/lenses (whatever they call it in your country), pigtails, miniskirt, schoolgirl, saying "nya", big tits, obsession with smell and tight outfits, etc. To make matters worse in 3.0 + 1.01 we discover that she is 48 years old, so we can also add the milf fetish. Evidently, her tits always bounce in her plugsuit (she would swear that never happened in the original series) and there are many close-ups of her ass. In addition to constantly making sexual advances towards Shinji, which also turns this piece of shit into a potential pedophile.
If the thing simply ended there, we could say that this character remains a mere annoying and unnecessary secondary character. Unfortunately, the character is also disruptive to the plot, occupying long filler scenes that do nothing more than waste time that is already scarce in a film, and that could have been used on something else more interesting; like Pen Pen watching TV, Pen Pen eating a sardine, etc. Without going any further, both 2.22, 3.33 and 3.0+1.01 begin with a long filler scene of her hitting on her. Well, to be honest, the 3.33 one is more Asuka, but this abortion is still out there fucking and singing.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that discussing why this character exists is much more interesting than any other debate that can be created about these films. I still think about it. However, the ending of 3.0+1.01 gives a good clue: the character was created solely and exclusively to stay with Shinji. I can only imagine that Anno made this tired of the fandom shipping and the arguments over who Shinji should stay with, so he decided to end the matter by creating his own ideal waifu with all the fetishes he likes in a woman to end it. with this. It's disgusting, but considering we're talking about a Japanese, totally possible.
It's surreal coming from the man who harshly criticized the use of anime as escapism and the excessive female objectification and sexualization in it, but it's the only semi-decent explanation I can think of. Basically, he is what is called a mascot character in literature. That would explain why this character never shows doubts, nor any kind of internal conflict, or why he is a better Eva pilot than Asuka and Rei themselves. It is also very revealing about the quality of the Rebuilds: creating a self-insert OC just to be the partner of the protagonist or another main character is the quintessential trait of all bad fanfiction.
However, among all this tsunami of disqualifications, I also have to say something positive: spending three movies giving hope to the shippers only to have Shinji be cuckolded simultaneously by Rei and Asuka in the last one and end up with a character with which had zero development (before 3.0+1.01 I didn't even know its name) is a true trolling masterclass, worthy of the best of ball pumpers. Only a true emperor of evil would have come up with such a twisted and at the same time perfect way to screw over a large part of the fandom. I give you my tens, Anno.
THE ANTI-UNIVERSE OF ANTI-NARRATIVE:
Of all the new concepts that Anno brings up at the last minute from the place named after his last name, none stands out more than the "anti-universe." Or, as I like to call it, the "anti-good writing." Basically because it perfectly represents all the problems of the rebuilds and their script. In the final stretch of 3.0+1.01 we have the last-minute revelation of a quantum plane of existence capable of turning imagined worlds into reality and changing this through Lilith, which cannot be understood by the human mind (wow, WHAT CONVENIENT!) and whose existence has never been mentioned or even hinted at in the entire franchise until CONCIDENTLY the aforementioned last third of the film.
In other words, a gigantic Deus Ex Machina created in an improvised way to avoid repeating End of Evangelion and forcing a happy ending where Shinji creates an ideal universe for each character (although that is questionable, as we will see later). And it is far from being the only one: the spear of Cassius, the Eva of Infinity, the key of Nebuchadnezzar, the Book of Life, and so on. None of these concepts are integrated into the plot in an organic and natural way, but rather they arise spontaneously at its convenience when it needs it. Except for the new "Super Berserker Mode" of the Evas, which is simply a power-up to sell figurines.
As I said before, if at least this were an alternate universe separate from the original anime, all this bombardment of concepts pulled out of the ass would be a little better justified. But the revelation that everything is a cycle and we are in the same universe as the original work only makes it even worse, generating countless inconsistencies about why they never mentioned this or never used that (what's the point of the seeds of life If you can create universes simply by imagining them?). Although without a doubt, the worst of all these new concepts is "the curse of Eve."
Here we have a new concept with very strong repercussions completely launched, which is not even an explanation in itself, it does not answer anything and to make matters worse, the same films contradict each other several times. Needless to say, this is a cheap excuse for the three main characters not to grow up and continue sexualizing 14-year-old girls after the most gratuitous timeskip ever seen. And speaking of timeskip, putting such a long one in the middle of the story is a first-time writing error. If you are writers, never do that: the bigger the time jump, the more things you will be forced to explain, since the less you do it, the more plot holes will form as a result.
And of course, here it explains little to nothing of what happened these 14 years. Like where Nerv got such a tremendous base from, if in 3.33 it seemed that together with Rei and Kaworu it was made up of four people. Or how they have gotten such an army of pseudo-Evas, especially when these are supposed to be extremely expensive (wow, and SEELE with all her unlimited resources was barely 9 in EoE). Or worse yet, how Kaji managed to stop Almost Third Impact (seriously, the name couldn't be stupider). None of these questions are answered at any time. Obviously because they can't do it.
Evangelion has always been characterized by leaving things up to the public's interpretation, but here I feel that they are vilely taking advantage of it so as not to have to give any kind of explanations. And in the case at hand, do not even pay attention to contradictions. Like Touji and Kensuke got on Unit 01 and that doesn't stop them from being 28 after the timeskip. Or that Mari appears to be 14 despite looking like an adult in Gendo's photos and flashbacks, plus the fact that Evas, by simple logic, could not exist back then.
The height of absurdity is when near the end of 3.0+1.01 the "unexpected" revelation occurs (actually we all saw it coming) that everything is a cycle and we are facing a reboot of the original timeline, of which only Kaworu seems to be conscious. He let them guess without giving them any clues how many times Kaworu mentioned or even hinted at such a thing in the original series. Needless to say, nothing is ever explained about it: Who created that cycle? (Adam? Lilith? The First Ancestral Race? Hideaki Anno's last name?) For what purpose? How does it work? How long does it last? Why is Kaworu the only one who remembers him? Do these remakes make sense?
THE DEATH OF A STYLE:
Fortress-cities folding in on themselves. Designs and constructions oscillating between the nineties, the utopian and the cyberpunk. Meshes of flesh and blood animated with the souls of the dead fighting with classical music in the background. A mysterious and ambiguous lore where aliens, technology and conspiracies mix with gnostic, cabalistic elements and the most esoteric aspects of Christianity (did the History Channel predict Evangelion?). Minimalist posters moving quickly between frames. Monochrome backgrounds flashing aggressively (bad luck if you were epileptic). So consistent with its themes that the A.T. fields themselves. They were an allegory of the hedgehog's dilemma (I'm not making this up, Kaworu himself says it in chapter 23).
https://imgur.com/a/2M0eDVK
The sum of all these factors is what allowed Evangelion to build an absolutely unique identity, the one that allowed people to say "hey, that's an Eva!". Starting in 3.33, all that is lost to disappear in 3.0+1.01 in favor of giant spaceships, mechanical mechas made of pure CGI, battles full of colored lights, multiverses and time loops. I'm not saying these elements are bad in and of themselves, but I've already seen a thousand mecha stories with these. For that, I start watching any of the versions of Gundam or Macross. I could also complain about the boring shots without audiovisual language and always using the same color palette, but to be fair, that is an endemic evil of current anime.
And like any bad remake, 3.0+1.01 can't help but pay homage to several scenes from the original work, completely failing to understand the point of said scenes. As an example, we have Ritsuko shooting Gendo for no reason other than to pay homage to End of Evangelion, ignoring that the context between both scenes is very different. Furthermore, here they never explain the relationship that exists between the two, so the scene makes no sense; especially for those who never saw the original series, who will also find mentions of facts that these films have never shown or bothered to explain.
Even worse is when they try to pay homage to the iconic battle between Asuka and the Eva Series. Not only because of the total absence of the graphic violence and choreography of the original, but because what makes that fight so remembered is its emotional component, since it is preceded by a narrative catharsis in which Asuka discovers that the Her mother's soul was always in Unit 02, in addition to being marked by the constant tension of knowing if she will be able to finish the fight before the Eva's energy supply runs out. Here the Evas never run out of energy (why do they need the power supply, then?), so there is no such tension.
In the original fight Asuka may not be shooting 1387945 Evas with a super cannon larger than her as she falls through an... interdimensional hole?; But there you feel every blow, you can appreciate every movement in detail, and the dramatic tension in crescendo only improves the result. If this were a shonen, the logical thing is that Asuka would win. After all, her character arc has been wrapped up in a climactic way. Unfortunately, this is Evangelion. When the Evas Series manage to cause a mortal wound with the pseudo-spear of Longinus and the energy counter reads zero, the outcome is already decided. What happens next is horrific (Asuka's enemies are cruel to her even after she is dead), and just as horrifying are Yūko Miyamura's screams and Miki Nagasawa's performance as Maya announcing that Asuka is dead. In the Rebuilds there are no performances anywhere near that level.
End of Evangelion will be as dark and uncomfortable to watch as you want, but it is a film where all those responsible put their souls into achieving the best possible result, both on a technical and artistic level.
and well, I think that for today I have already downloaded too much, an apology for the large amount of text, I will make a second part at another time because I have so many things to comment on... anyway, I hope you have a good day/afternoon/night or when you read this .

Hello, I'm a 32-year-old guy seeking genuine connections and captivating conversations. I thrive on direct and honest discussions about life, passions, and everything in between. If you appreciate authenticity and straightforwardness, let's dive into meaningful conversations without the need for formalities.
Should our talks lead to a real-life meetup, the prospect of sharing pictures and video chatting could enhance our mutual understanding and attraction. Personally, I find intimacy to be a significant and unique part of a relationship, creating a deep bond. I'm on the lookout for someone who shares this perspective for a potential journey together.
Moving at a nice pace is important to me as it demonstrates a serious commitment. I'm inclined to transition to voice and video chats swiftly to ensure things progress smoothly. I'm also a very sexual being, and once we're in person, I'll be eager to explore the physical aspect of our connection, including the chemistry in bed from day one. While I understand that meeting in real life takes time and effort, understanding our compatibility in various aspects is crucial to me.
Shifting gears, I'm an enthusiast of recreational activities and gaming. Whether it's enjoying a smoke, gaming on my PS5 and PC, or exploring virtual reality with a headset, there are various avenues for connection. Virtual hangouts, discussing diverse topics, enjoying music, and Netflix and chilling are all open for exploration. In previous relationships, I've cherished moments at museums and fine dining.
I consider myself easygoing and approachable. While I lean towards being a bit of a loner, I highly value quality time with a partner. Currently single and open to new connections, I appreciate individuals who are 420-friendly, but it's not a deal-breaker if it's not your vibe. If you're genuinely intrigued, don't hesitate to reach out. Let's craft unique and memorable moments together!

Hello, I'm a 32-year-old guy seeking genuine connections and captivating conversations. I thrive on direct and honest discussions about life, passions, and everything in between. If you appreciate authenticity and straightforwardness, let's dive into meaningful conversations without the need for formalities.
Should our talks lead to a real-life meetup, the prospect of sharing pictures and video chatting could enhance our mutual understanding and attraction. Personally, I find intimacy to be a significant and unique part of a relationship, creating a deep bond. I'm on the lookout for someone who shares this perspective for a potential journey together.
Moving at a nice pace is important to me as it demonstrates a serious commitment. I'm inclined to transition to voice and video chats swiftly to ensure things progress smoothly. I'm also a very sexual being, and once we're in person, I'll be eager to explore the physical aspect of our connection, including the chemistry in bed from day one. While I understand that meeting in real life takes time and effort, understanding our compatibility in various aspects is crucial to me.
Shifting gears, I'm an enthusiast of recreational activities and gaming. Whether it's enjoying a smoke, gaming on my PS5 and PC, or exploring virtual reality with a headset, there are various avenues for connection. Virtual hangouts, discussing diverse topics, enjoying music, and Netflix and chilling are all open for exploration. In previous relationships, I've cherished moments at museums and fine dining.
I consider myself easygoing and approachable. While I lean towards being a bit of a loner, I highly value quality time with a partner. Currently single and open to new connections, I appreciate individuals who are 420-friendly, but it's not a deal-breaker if it's not your vibe. If you're genuinely intrigued, don't hesitate to reach out. Let's craft unique and memorable moments together!

Yesterday I was dumb and continued this conversation on Instagram with a girl, she said she was 19, turning 20 in December and I told her my age being 21.
It started off good and then turned sexual fast, the usual with most people on this subreddit.
The thing is, she sent pictures and videos back and she matched the PFP.
I didn't pay anything and eventually blocked them on telegram and Instagram, even shutting down my social medias as people mentioned to do on here.
The thing that scares me is how she added me to a Instagram group chat so fast with what I saw 2 real people I follow but there were more people.
She went went on to say "look what I got here" and sent out DM's and photos/videos with my Instagram next to it in one of the video of me jacking it. She has the convo, my face and videos unfortunately.
I'm dumb, I know I shouldve known it was a scam but the thing that got me is that she sent pictures and videos which matches her PFP so ofc I thought it was real.
I just need reassurance about the group message on Instagram.. will my followers who were added actually see everything that she sent of our convos, my nudes, etc.
I feel dumb as fuck and I'm never getting Instagram back, I only have messenger, discord and reddit and I DONT EVEN WANNA ASK MY FRIEND ON DISCORD IF HE SAW ANYTHING FROM INSTAGRAM AS IM JUST EMBARRASSED.

Hey there, I'm looking for someone new to talk to with the possibility of it becoming something more! (as the title says, I do prefer much larger body types as they're cute to me, but please know I'm not looking for sexual chat!) I really love learning about people, and would love to learn about someone new, about their passions and interests, and have someone who loves doing the same in return! I ideally would like to talk on discord eventually!
As the title says, I'm definitely more of a nerd than anything, haha. I love reading, cooking and baking, video games, and generally more homebody hobbies. I currently live in California and I'm going to start my first year of College this fall! To describe myself, I'm around 5'10, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and I'm on the chubby side myself (although I'm losing weight, down 10 pounds and counting!). I'm also asexual, so I'd like someone who's okay with that!
For a partner, I'd ideally want someone genuine and caring, and while not required, it'd really help if you shared some of my hobbies! I don't have many appearance preferences, tbh!

TL;DR
I’ve been talking to this guy for more than a month and I met him online on a chatting app. I’m 19 and he’s 34. Our relationship is basically based on a flirtatious nature. We exchanged pics and videos and we called few times. I kinda got attached to him since he is the first guy to see my personal intimate ( not nudes) pics.
He started to get more demanding about me sending him more pics of sexual nature which is draining and sometimes I don’t feel like to send such pics. But he keeps getting mad over it and he feels sort of entitled to my pics. He once blocked me because of this and then unblocked me after a day and told me that he missed me and he’s not used to not talk to me..he told me that has feelings toward me and that he feels something different with me..
so I don’t know what to do. I just kinda feel stuck between ending this and trying to continue the relationship and it’s hard for me to say no. So I don’t know why am I like this? Any advice how to get over this relationship and end it?

I have been struggling a lot with my mental health lately, and can’t shake the feeling that I may have been through something traumatic in my childhood which is causing current problematic behaviour. I need an outsider to weigh in here. This is going to be long.
(For context I’m a trans guy, AFAB)
I am an extremely hypersexual person who has for a number of years now sought increasingly risky sexual encounters with strangers, especially older and violent men. It is starting to take a huge toll on my mental health as I try to figure out what might be causing this.
For context, my parents divorced when I was 4 and I have had semi-contact with my bio dad for a number of years now. Not the best relationship but nothing too damaging. I thought at first this relationship was causing a lot of abandonment complex which causes me to seek out sexual validation. I then started examining my relationship with my mom and step-dad and realised there may be something else here. I have always felt slightly uncomfortable around them without really knowing why.
My mom does not really have a sense of boundaries, physical or emotional. She has on multiple occasions given unsolicited “advice” about my appearance and how to appear more good looking and sexually attractive. She has also on a few occasions demanded to touch my chest when I’ve explicitly told her no. Most times I’ve just had to give in and let her do it. Her reasoning has always been that she “wants to check how big they are” (which obviously as a trans guy has always made me super uncomfortable). She thinks it’s fine because she’s my mom and “has seen it all before”.
My step-dad, whom my mom married when I was 6, has always had very raunchy sense of humour and will often make sexual jokes around me and my siblings. He has made several incest jokes throughout my life, where he insists he would never do such a thing, despite constantly bringing it up (most recent example was around Christmas when he made a joke about step-dads molesting their step-daughters). I distinctly remember an incident when I was around 10 where I accidentally grabbed his private parts while in a swimming pool, and he kept bringing it up for the rest of the day, as if to shame me.
Before I transitioned he would always make remarks like “if I were younger I would date you” and “if I could choose between you and your sister I’d choose you”, and he was very very opposed to my transition, almost defensively so. I have never reciprocated these “jokes” like my sister has, and I could always tell it bums him out. He has also “accidentally” showed me pornographic videos before, blaming it on his friends for sending it to him.
Not only that but I have a few distinct memories/dreams from my early childhood that involved sexual situations. The first one I can remember I was around 7, where I had a “dream” that I was sitting on an older man’s lap while he made me grind on him. Another “dream” was age 9-10 where I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror topless while an older man was fondling me. I had a friend around the same age with whom I would play the “forcing game” (my idea), which involved us lying down pretending to be sexually assaulted by an older man who I would voice. I would also regularly between the ages 7-10 “play out” sexual assault scenes when playing by myself. I know kids might have some idea of sex at that age but it always seemed weird it involved older men and non-consent. I had a brief phase where I was terrified to turn my back to the door when sleeping in case someone snuck in and assaulted me. I was also terrified that the outline of my bum would be visible under the covers whenever anyone was around.
For as long as I’ve been sexually active I remember being drawn to non-consensual pornographic content. Due to my high sex drive I’ve also consumed a lot of porn and it has inevitably let me down the inescapable incest tropes. Sometimes it’s the only thing that can get me off and I feel grossed out and hate myself for it.
I am hesitant to think that my parents ever intended to be incestuous, and nothing physical (other than my mom touching my chest) has ever taken place to my knowledge. I feel weird for even considering that their actions may have caused such shameful behaviour in me. However this has been on my mind for too long and I just needed to get it out. I do suspect I have BPD though and sometimes I feel like I am just imagining things or blowing things out of proportion.
I may delete this shortly but any thoughts or advice is much appreciated thank you.

I 100% believe she actually doesn’t care her kid was jumped as soon as she saw that video she went “ooh content” “I’m going to monetize off this” she seems so disconnected from her kids, this wasn’t about getting Sven justice it’s all about lining her pockets! And the pain in that girls voice saying this is what you get for touching me! Heartbreaking!! She needs money to move because her child sexually assault’s people, is that what why you “fear for your lives” adrihell maybe get your son some help.

Hola, hace poco vi un comentario de mi pareja donde menciono que le provocaba deseo sexual ver videos de "ladyboys" en ese momento ya estabamos juntos, no sé q pensar..

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

Sorry this ended up kind of long. So this is about the biggest mistake I ever made while manic, before I was diagnosed with bipolar and generalized anxiety disorder. I’m not proud of who I was before diagnosis and it didn’t help that I had a very messed up childhood that I needed therapy for but couldn’t afford.
I was 22 at the time and I was only diagnosed last year at 27. Needless to say my whole life made sense after being diagnosed. I see all the patterns now looking back. But let me stop rambling and get to the main point.
This happened during a manic or hypomanic (not entirely sure) episode when I was 22. I went on a hyper sexual escapade and met this older guy who was in the military. From the start I got a weird vibe but I didn’t listen to my gut and kept seeing him. After only like a month of seeing each other like a day or two a week he suggested marriage and I have know idea why but I agreed. I knew I didn’t want to even as we were driving to the dmv but a different part of my brain justified it. That and my anxiety to not piss the guy off combined and I just went along with it. Worst decision I ever made. It didn’t take me long to run back home to my family and it’s been a battle ever since.
But today I went to court, almost blacked out when he showed up on video chat late ( I thought I would maybe get away with not having to see or hear from him but no such luck) my lawyer laid out how he has been harassing pretty much everyone including his office and because the only thing I wanted was my freedom, I was granted my divorce! I’m finally free from him and feel like I can move on with my life.
I’m not who I was, and while I’m not proud of that person, I know the deck was stacked against me. And all I can do moving forward is to take my meds and work on being the person I want to be. But damn freedom is sweet!

My previous post covers some relationship history and issues we've been having
It's been a long time since I felt the need to look in her phone but I did this time she left it out.
I saw a recent image sent in chat on Snapchat she had sent someone of neck down cleavage at 8 pm a week before I found it. Taken during the day. Shirt and bra clearly adjusted to have her popping out way more than usual. Glass of wine. Clearly took some work and forethought. He saved the picture. He also saved a comment the next morning. It was a reply to a video she had sent where he said "best day ever of my life."
She had mentioned trying one of those "get the right size bra" things but said it was way too small of a cup and she was popping out of it. I didn't get to see it before it got returned but seemed like he got a picture.
Heart drops. Shaking hand. I'm in shock but I take a couple pictures with my phone and a video of their saved chat history, his username, start date (6 months ago). A bunch of cute but tame selfies with our kids. One more tame snap with one of our kids sent an hour before while I was getting the older one to bed. Checked a couple other places like texts, pictures, and Facebook quick to see if there was anything else recent. Nope. Put the phone back to avoid getting caught in the moment and retreated to the basement to calm down and process it.
I confronted her that night after she got into bed, recording audio with my phone. Mentioned how she should go bra and panty shopping and get some good stuff in person now that our youngest is getting older and she has her body back. That [snap username] would probably enjoy it. No reaction. I repeated it. "Huh?" "Who" I still remember the confused/expressionless face she held while I repeated the name again and she finally said "Oh. Him." Like damn right him. She denied doing anything inappropriate. I said well then you and I have vastly different definitions of inappropriate and showed her the picture of it and asked what other videos she had sent that night. She broke down a bit and said that the picture was a mistake but she hadn't sent anything else. I asked what the video was and she "didn't remember." I said I don't believe that for a second. It's only been a week and was sent right after a cleavage shot? I don't believe it for a second. She still "doesn't remember" as of today. Who is it? "My ex." I asked her how long it had been going on for. "Doesn't remember." I said stop lying. I don't believe you. And "I don't remember" just means I'm going to assume the worst and act that way so it's better if you tell me that truth. That my assumption is full nude/masturbating/etc and it she doesn't remember when it started because it never stopped. Her memory still wasn't working. I showed her the picture of when their friendship started 6 months ago and left the bedroom.
She came after me and it continued with more of the same until late in the night. Her saying that our marriage and kids mean everything to her and she sorry she fucked up and will do anything to make up for it. Apologized for the last few years of resentment fueled attacks and arguments. promised to make a change and that she would do whatever it takes to fix it. I told her that my trust was completely broken but that I wouldnt give up on our marriage and would give her another chance to fix it for the sake of our kids. I just don't know how to fix it and I need time to cope and think and process the shock. That we should see a therapist and I probably need one for myself too. Meanwhile she's not volunteering any more information that I hadn't already discovered myself. Just saying that they only talked about life stuff and she didn't care about him at all but she could vent to him about me. Again, "nothing inappropriate." Which I shut down hard again. That's still an emotional affair with someone you have a history with and if it hasn't been sexual the whole time it's definitely trending there now.
Ended up going to bed at the same time together, tired and emotionally drained. We had sex. It's been too long since we were intimate and I told her we can try to end the night on a positive.
I couldn't sleep.
Over the next days, I started reading whatever I could find about affair recovery. Found some therapist articles and videos. Found this sub and the other related ones. Followed some links. Went to work. Talked to her late into the night after the kids went to sleep. It kept bugging me that she didn't seem to be willing to be fully honest with me. She definitely made other changes and has been helping more around the house and being a lot nicer like when we were dating. Offering time for me to do things for myself and being receptive and showing empathy for my emotions. Still not willing to really share anything that didn't get discovered. Doesn't remember anything else. Says "nothing inappropriate happened." I tried to explain that I can try and move on and work to rebuild the relationship and that I appreciate it that she was making a good effort to make those changes, but that my trust was broken and continuing to lie about the content, extent, etc. would just tear all that work down when it came out. That I needed her to be totally honest and not put her guilt or shame or whatever ahead of the need to disclose everything and end the lies or I might never trust her again.
I asked her to let me go through her phone. She initially said yes. I also said I wasn't comfortable with her staying on Snapchat and I'd like her to delete it. She didn't share the phone right away and then later in the talk changed her mind saying she wasn't comfortable because she was feeling attacked. I said I don't like that answer because it seems selfish and she hasn't shown that she deserves privacy. And what happened to the "I'll do anything to fix it" promise because our marriage and kids are the most important thing to her? She still said she wasn't comfortable with it after I went behind her back to look at it. Typical cheater excuses and deflection, right? I told her she's on exceedingly thin ice and that she had better not delete anything. I allowed it, thinking internally it can serve as a test because I'm already checking out and losing faith that she'll do what it takes to reconcile or change. Also knowing she probably wouldn't think to clear out the trash and she'd do my work for me to smoke out anything she's hiding. I checked the next day and there were a bunch of pictures sent to trash that day. Oddly enough, nothing that bad from the quick peek I got. Mirror shot of her back but fully clothed was the closest thing to sexual. Didn't say anything yet, figuring I'd wait until the kids went to sleep and see if she'd give up the phone willingly and find them there in the trash. Before that though, I noticed on my phone that she disappeared off of Snapchat. Asked her if she deleted it already and she said "yeah, you asked me to." To which I said yeah, but that was when you agreed to show me first. When you prevented that, I told you not to delete anything and it seems like you just used that as an excuse to justify covering your tracks. Also, that deleted all of our saved snaps in chat of our relationship and our kids from both sides. I said I would have liked to back those up because she used it regularly to capture memories instead of her camera.
Whatever. Turns out Snapchat doesn't actually delete anything for 30 days and they come back if you download and log in, so nice try I guess?
She told me his name at one point but I'm bad with names and forgot it in the stress. I looked at her phone again in the middle of the night. Found a conversation between them on instagram from when she was ~7mo pregnant with our first. He initiated, asking to see her sexy belly and she was quick to comply. Went back and forth with compliments and pictures and he asked to video chat. She said she didn't want to because she looked big and exhausted. He said not now, but what about ever? She didn't respond. What do you know, a few days later he spontaneously decided to reinstall Snapchat and asked to add her, giving the same username as the one I saw but his real name was on instagram. Then that went silent. Theres a 3.5 yr gap from then to the latest add. He seems to delete and make new snapchat accounts often. I took a video of the chat history. Go to take an extra picture of the contact info. Fuck! Phone has flash on and she stirs. Oh well. I'm pissed and I don't really care if she catches me. I just don't say anything when she asks what I was doing, but I've got more evidence saved now and I'm
trying to figure out how to check the rest thoroughly before it's totally scrubbed or I'll never be able to confirm anything she says when the gaslighting comes.
He's been married for over 10 years. Has 3 kids. No wonder he has to delete Snapchat

Currently 18 living in Texas.
sorry if this is a stupid question. I was raped when I was twelve years old and it was handled by the FBI. I didn't get any updates on it and since I was in foster care at the time, the people who worked on the case couldn't really track me I suppose so I never got to testify in court or be notified of anything.
A few years ago I searched up my rapists full name to see if there was any information on him that I wasn't informed of. It was released that he attempted suicide after being caught, owes me 3,000 in restitution, and was sentenced to 17 years in a mental health prison under possession of CP. I was not made aware of any of this, but what upset me is the description the article uses for me. It says that I "engaged in sexual acts" / "had sex" with him even though I was 12. It includes details of the city I lived in at the time and the date it took place, etc. If I didn't know his full name it's honestly really likely I would've been totally unaware that I was owed money or how long his sentencing was, etc.
A lot of this is paranoia but I do sometimes get creep messages from people who found those videos of me and it just makes me uncomfortable to have my worst moment plastered online with a flashy news article. Does anyone know if there's a way to get rid of it?

I started watching porn when I was 12 years old. I remember vividly what the video was that my friend showed me and it is crazy how I still remember it to this day. Ever since then, my porn addiction escalated to the point where I was suicidal and depressed. This is because I became addicted to transgender porn, which was not even aligned with my heterosexual nature, which made me incredibly ashamed of myself. This impacted my self-confidence and my overall life quality because of how disgusted I felt everyday from this addiction. But, I was able to quit watching porn and masturbating when I was 20 years old by creating a framework for myself that was an immense help. A part of this framework was visualizations.
A visualization is when you take some time out of the day to close your eyes and visualize a certain scenario in intricate detail. In this case, the scenario was having a strong sexual urge, but being able to successfully combat that urge and not watch porn/masturbate. Success visualizations are incredibly powerful because the more you do them, the more you will act accordingly in reality. It is an incredibly weird concept to understand, and I also had trouble understanding at first, but I'll just tell you the process I went through with these visualizations.
First, find a quiet area to do this visualization, preferably in a chair or laying in bed. Now, imagine you are laying in bed scrolling on social media or just feeling incredibly horny. Now, visualize yourself consciously making the decision that you will not watch porn and instead doing something productive like going to the gym, taking a cold shower, or working. Do this every day for at least 10 minutes at a time and you will slowly see a change in your actual behavior when you do get an urge. I hope this helps and if you want to learn more DM me and I'll be happy to help.

I started watching porn when I was 12 years old. I remember vividly what the video was that my friend showed me and it is crazy how I still remember it to this day. Ever since then, my porn addiction escalated to the point where I was suicidal and depressed. This is because I became addicted to transgender porn, which was not even aligned with my heterosexual nature, which made me incredibly ashamed of myself. This impacted my self-confidence and my overall life quality because of how disgusted I felt everyday from this addiction. But, I was able to quit watching porn and masturbating when I was 20 years old by creating a framework for myself that was an immense help. A part of this framework was visualizations.
A visualization is when you take some time out of the day to close your eyes and visualize a certain scenario in intricate detail. In this case, the scenario was having a strong sexual urge, but being able to successfully combat that urge and not watch porn/masturbate. Success visualizations are incredibly powerful because the more you do them, the more you will act accordingly in reality. It is an incredibly weird concept to understand, and I also had trouble understanding at first, but I'll just tell you the process I went through with these visualizations.
First, find a quiet area to do this visualization, preferably in a chair or laying in bed. Now, imagine you are laying in bed scrolling on social media or just feeling incredibly horny. Now, visualize yourself consciously making the decision that you will not watch porn and instead doing something productive like going to the gym, taking a cold shower, or working. Do this every day for at least 10 minutes at a time and you will slowly see a change in your actual behavior when you do get an urge. I hope this helps and if you want to learn more DM me and I'll be happy to help.

I started watching porn when I was 12 years old. I remember vividly what the video was that my friend showed me and it is crazy how I still remember it to this day. Ever since then, my porn addiction escalated to the point where I was suicidal and depressed. This is because I became addicted to transgender porn, which was not even aligned with my heterosexual nature, which made me incredibly ashamed of myself. This impacted my self-confidence and my overall life quality because of how disgusted I felt everyday from this addiction. But, I was able to quit watching porn and masturbating when I was 20 years old by creating a framework for myself that was an immense help. A part of this framework was visualizations.
A visualization is when you take some time out of the day to close your eyes and visualize a certain scenario in intricate detail. In this case, the scenario was having a strong sexual urge, but being able to successfully combat that urge and not watch porn/masturbate. Success visualizations are incredibly powerful because the more you do them, the more you will act accordingly in reality. It is an incredibly weird concept to understand, and I also had trouble understanding at first, but I'll just tell you the process I went through with these visualizations.
First, find a quiet area to do this visualization, preferably in a chair or laying in bed. Now, imagine you are laying in bed scrolling on social media or just feeling incredibly horny. Now, visualize yourself consciously making the decision that you will not watch porn and instead doing something productive like going to the gym, taking a cold shower, or working. Do this every day for at least 10 minutes at a time and you will slowly see a change in your actual behavior when you do get an urge. I hope this helps and if you want to learn more DM me and I'll be happy to help.

My wife (24f) told me (24m)in early April she wanted to separate. I was kind of blind sided. There is obviously a lot that I can’t say here but here are the main points. We have been together for 7 years married for almost 3. We have 2 kids before we got married. She also had a 5 month old when I met her. Before we got married I messed up a lot. I basically wanted to cheat and tried to but (thankfully) I never did. A lot of these times I lied to her about it and gaslit her. Before we got married I realized I was a piece of shit and needed to get myself together, because she is an amazing woman. We also got into hard drugs. We got married in church gave up drugs, and gave our lives to god. The first 6 months were perfect. But I started to abandon my faith. I dealt with a porn addiction since I was 8 years old. And lied to my wife that I had it under control. When I started going to church I quit porn for about 4 months but then went back. I never told her. And that was the beginning of my faith abandonment.
Sometime after we stopped attending church my wife started a nursing program. She told me recently that this was when she decided she was going to leave me. She was driving more and made more friends. Her plan was to graduate and then leave me. At this time I was an assistant manager at Sonic. My in-laws bought a new house and let us move into their old house so we had to give up our education and jobs to move. I ended up getting a crappy job as a cook. And I’m stuck there right now because the kids started school and I have to leave early everyday to pick them up. My wife started a private nursing program, this was around August. My wife ended up meeting an old friend and cheated with him 2 times. She told me this in January of this year. She said they only did hand stuff. I later found out she was lying. She gave him head. She told me she was sorry for wanting to leave me and she realized I was a great guy. I forgave her, because I love her and also because I felt it was my karma for all the porn and attempted cheating. She told me she wanted to go back to church because she felt guilty, but I didn’t want to because of the porn and I had planned on doing drugs again. She tried hard to get me to go to church.
After that things were great. But sometime in march she started wanting to cheat again. She ended up finding a man named Dominic (25) on march 20th, on Snapchat. He lives way out of town and is a truck driver in training. Within the week she was sending nudes. All the while I was oblivious. She told me in early April that she wanted to separate. She told me there wasn’t any other man and she just felt like she didn’t want to be with me anymore. I agreed that we needed a little break. But then I went through her phone and found Dominic, nothing sexual at first. She said he’s just a friend and doesn’t like him. The next day I went through her instagram and found that they were calling each other baby. She said she loves him. I told her that she was moving way too fast and wasn’t thinking clearly. She agreed to take it slow. I looked through her messages again and found nudes and videos. And they were planning on meeting up. I felt so hurt and betrayed especially when I realized that they were doing that while I was at work, the other room, taking care of the kids or asleep. She is planning on marrying this guy and already is picking out baby names. She is serious and didn’t want to go back to church. That’s when I realized that I needed to go back to church and change pretty much everything about me. I gave up porn, drugs and alcohol and started sexaholics anonymous.
I then confessed everything to her, all the lies I told her and about the porn. Now, she has a big opinion on porn, it basically ruined her family. When I noticed the way that her and Dominic were talking I told her that he more than likely watches porn if he talks like that and has fantasies like that. She said she trusts him. And wants to be with him forever. I can’t move out right now because of the kids and also she’s going to be done with school in October . And all the stuff she’s doing behind my back is really hurting me. I want to fix our marriage, I’m willing to forgive. She agrees that she needs therapy but it’s hard with her school schedule.
What do you think the chances are that she makes it with this guy?
TLDR: My wife wants to leave me for another guy who possible has the same problems as me.