Dry itchy spots on hands

Hey Fellow Redditors I’m(22yr Old Male) here to talk about my bad experience with a THC Vape in hope that maybe I’m not the only one that’s gone through something like this i’ve never been a true smoker only would take a couple puffs off the homies Joints on rare Occasions & did a couple puffs off friends Carts back in Highschool . So On 4/19th / 2024 I had bought a Stizzy a “type of weed pod” the THC percentage like around 80. Something off a friend I grew up with in Highschool to enjoy for 420 I end up trying it that night I took a puff from it held it for like 5-10 secs and maybe 5 minutes later it’s hitting me hard I watch a movie for like maybe a good hour knock out watching it & wake up perfectly fine the next morning. On 4/20 i started the day doing laundry & after a few hours ate 2 chicken sandwiches with some fries anyway about maybe an hour and a half later I went out to the alleyway & Took two puffs of the pod this time off the first hit I was coughing for maybe a minute & a half so I went in for another hit after the coughing stopped I was Dying from Two puffs I didn’t feel bad instantly but I was just laying on my bed when I got hit with anxiety after walking around for a bit I literally was seeing my life flash before my eyes anxiously walking around I had convinced myself that I was dying so I tell my siblings I didn’t feel well & needed to go to the Emergency Room i told them I felt like I was gonna die , I think my dog started to catch on that I wasn’t feeling well because she would just whine at me following me around this led me to panic even more so we head out I’m not even thinking about how I’m gonna drive there but I just start the car & we head out once we get to the hospital I tell them that I don’t feel well at all & that I would have to wait and sign paperwork before anything . So I sign the paperwork and tell me to sit tight I sit with my younger sister and notice my chest full of sweat and my left hand & leg shaking like crazy after maybe five minutes of waiting like this they do an ECG / EKG and the readings show I’m fine so they tell me to wait outside so they can get me a room , 20 minutes pass my parents are here my mom noticed my lips were dry & I looked pale so I drank some water ,I felt a bit better after drinking water but kept shaking my fingers after another ten minutes of waiting they lead me & my mom to a room give me a gown & say they’ll be right with me shortly well after 8 hours they never came by so by then I felt calm with my mom by my side having drank some more water I asked them to be discharged as I felt better & wasn’t being attended anyway so after 15 minutes they give me a paper with the diagnosis being (Cannabis intoxication without complication / HCC)I should contact my healthcare provider as soon as possible next day so I contact my doctor and she give me an appointment in two days , well within those two days I ended up not being able to sleep well at all because I was having palpitations & anxiety so I go to the Emergency Room again this time at a different hospital & they do a EKG right away it comes out as abnormal so they get me a room & do blood tests they end up coming out fine except for my LDL cholesterol kinda high (116) they tell me it’s a extremely low chance I would have a heart attack so that relieves me a lot , they tell me I should concentrate on breathing & ignoring the palpitations, so the day I go see my doctor she does more blood work ,I tell her I’ve been having anxiety & palpitations she asked if I want to talk to someone about it and I said no as I wasn’t feeling too bad at the moment so she prescribes me Hydroxyzine HCL 10MG for anxiety & sleep which I haven’t taken at all because I seen online sometimes they make palpitations worse so i haven’t touched them as I think they would make me more anxious about my heart so I’ve just been looking up natural things that would help me. Fast forward to now 5/13 it’s been 3 weeks I’ve been toughing it out I’ve changed my diet completely avoiding foods with too much saturated fat like pizza burgers etc , I began drinking a lot more teas & water I still get anxiety from time to time but noticed distracting myself with things to do like Going to work , laughing with friends & family going out for walks with my siblings and my dog playing video games here and there etc I don’t know what exactly the explanation is for what I’m going through is but I haven’t lost hope that I can recover seeing my parents breakdown telling me they believe in me and are with me all the way make me want to push through this even more I’ve gotten closer to god as I’ve been going to church again with my parents I hope this makes my siblings want to get close to god & come along with us to church every Saturday . As of right now I’m still following my diet eating mainly chicken ,turkey vegetables fruits & drinking black teas & peppermint teas to help me sleep I’ve also been taking a (magnesium +malate + Glycinate + Citrate)supplement and have noticed my brain feels a lot less foggy I still feel anxiety & my fingers twitch from time to time but distracting myself with anything else helps so much I also still struggle sleeping I find laying down will make me anxious triggering my palpitations with a tight feeling in my upper left chest causing me to panic sometimes if I’m focused on just my palpitations , box breathing and deep breathing drinking a bit of water seem to help me ignore them . I’m currently waiting on my appointment with a cardiologist next week 5/22 for more reassurance that nothing is wrong with my heart. Prior to this incident I would say I had little to no anxiety at all I’m hoping it’s not any serious condition & maybe just my body dealing with the trauma & if it happens to be anything serious I have hope I can learn to continue living a normal life without much of a learning curve . Anyway I know this is super long but if anyone has gone through or had something like this before leave any tips or comments below of things that could help please & thanks god bless us all .🙏🏽

I am a male
34 years old
Hey so I have had some serious skin problem for just over two months now and I was wondering if I could get some advice. It started just as dry itchy skin around my neck and some spots on my arm , I went to the doctor who said eczema and hoped that would be it . But it's just got worse and worse . I have badly dry skin on my neck and forehead, I have spots appearing all over my legs, and also on the back of my neck and lumps on the back of my head . I also have some cuts that just appeared on the back of my neck. I have a skin rash on my neck , chest shoulder back and stomach that is red and patchy and this burns and itches like crazy . I've been to the doctors multiple times but none have looked into it or listened much . I am an expat living in Hong-Kong so maybe the language barrier is preventing them looking into it more but they just keep saying allergy. I have changed everything in the last two months but it hasn't seemed to effected it , it has just got slowly worse and worse and the burning and itching is unbearable now so I was wondering if anyone here might have any advice?

I know injections is better and have done that in past but my anxiety gets th better of me every time and I end up worrying all day that I didnt inject a blood poision virus or enough air to cause a heart attck (never happened but still.. made me feel nauseous all day just from the thought of it before injecting too and I’m not scared of needles at hospital just from doing it myself).
So I prefer nasal spray and just spend a bit more instead and easier to carry around and do while on the move.
I found an old bottle that I bought and pretty sure unused. Can I just wash it out with some hand sanitizer or something and then add my mixture after it dries or?

“He's still the same.”
This thought, an unexpectedly quick shadow flashing somewhere on the border of the conscious and unconscious, for some reason gives Ashley a strange feeling of peace. It seems to her that nothing good could have happened in Leon’s life since their last meeting, and she would be sad to see him upset about something bad.
However, one cannot say that he is delighted with the upcoming “mission”. Ashley can understand this, although under the pressure of stress she probably underestimated how difficult it was for him, and at that moment she couldn't have fully empathized with him... these were probably excuses that she came up with later, rethinking the experience.
One way or another, Leon was here again, and Ashley was sure of one thing - she missed him no less than on the first day after separation. But noticing that all his attention is directed exclusively at her father, she allows herself to relax and sigh.
He is not here for her, he's here because this is the president's order. It was stupid and inappropriate for someone like agent Kennedy, but apparently, the government didn't want to leave him completely free, and there were no more important things to do. Well, that, or Ashley's dad just made his own adjustments to the priorities. One way or another, Leon didn't seem to agree with it, and, to be honest, neither did Ashley, although she was happy to see Kennedy again.
“Thank you for...” she doesn’t even know how to start a conversation, and even opens her mouth only because the prolonged silence could lead to misunderstanding. ”Um... I'm sorry... sorry you had to...”
Ashley waves her hand vaguely and finally causes the flow of speech to dry up again. Fortunately, the situation also helps her.
“Here is your room,” Ashley carefully points to the door, which looks more like the entrance to a hotel room than a room in which anyone would be comfortable staying longer than the vacation required. ”Tomorrow after classes I was going to take a little walk. You'll probably have to come with me, but if you want to stay, you just need to avoid getting noticed by dad, I... won't be knocking at your door.”
It seems that she is ready to turn around and run away like a frightened, big-eyed deer, but then she slightly tilts her head to the side and for the first time in the entire “conversation” looks Leon in the eyes. Not to say that it is very bold, but it is clearly testing the waters, and this is already something in comparison with cowardly caution and quiet apologies.
“You were in a lot of trouble back then. How are you feeling now? Are you tired from the trip?”
P.S.: Here's the starter message. If you'd like, we can roleplay on Discord. This isn't a sexual RP. Timeline is sometime after RE4, Leon is hired to be Ashley's personal bodyguard.

I bought a second hand series 3 watch with a broken screen to repair for my son. I was successful with the repair but unfortunately he forgot he had it on and wore it in the bath and managed to get some water inside it. I opened it up and managed to dry it out but it won't turn back on. It starts with charging cable screen, which goes green when on the charger but shows a high temp warning after about 10 minutes.
Does the battery have an internal temperature sensor? I'm tempted to just replace the battery but I don't want to if it's completely water damaged ☹️

Dessicant powder has been a game changer for my dry fly fishing game...but that's not what this is about.
I was recently fishing in a destination stream and after an obligatory selfie, went to put my phone back into my wader pocket. But I missed. My heart sank as I heard the distinct plop/splash as my phone hit the river and sank into some aquatic weeds before I could even see where it had landed. Realizing that my phone is also my wallet, I quickly dropped to my hands and knees and began feeling around in the muck until my fingers felt the hard rectangular shape of my cell phone. Relieved, I quickly pulled it out, shut off the power, removed the case, and shook it off, but resigned myself to the sad reality that my phone (which is a cheap, non waterproof android) was likely toast. Then the thought occurred to me. If my dessicant powder can make a waterlogged Adams float like a a piece of sun-dried balsa wood, it would be worth trying some of its magic on my phone. I pulled out my trusty container of Top Ride dessicant powder and poured a generous portion into the charging port. Then I put my phone on the dash of my car to dry out for several hours. And....it worked!!! I'm using that very phone to type this post.
Let that be a lesson to you. If you take your phone fishing, keep it in a waterproof pocket. If you use it for selfies, keep it on a lanyard. If you ignore that advice and drop it in the river...good luck finding it! But if you do, and all else fails, try dumping some dessicant powder into the charging port and pray for a miracle. It might work for you, too!!

I'm scratching my head on the odd experience I'm having with my battery straps for my HTC Trackers (v2).
If not 2020, 2021 I ordered my three battery straps, and been working fine until Sept 2022.
Sept 2022, worked with support, shown the oddity I was having with my Right foot tracker.
Show charging when plugged in, but wouldn't show any status lights if anything when discharging, including the tracker, nor would anything plugged in show it was receiving a charge.
They sent me a new one, and I sent them my old one back. Never heard what I, if I, did wrong.
May 2024 (this past weekend), had a different, but now become the same, issue, with the Left strap battery.
Thursday and Friday nights, all worked fine. (Slipping in to add, as it'll otherwise sound conflicting later, rare I'm on outside of Saturday, down time from work.) I know without a doubt the left tracker showed full charge (100%) when I left VR Friday night (VRCX Overlay on my left hand).
Saturday night, geared up as always. About maybe an hour in, I noticed in the VRCX overlay, the left tracker was sitting at 85%, not charging. Suspected maybe a loose cable, didn't charge the battery somehow, the basics.
Went to unplug from the battery, and plug it into my right. Two things I noticed.

1. The port on the left battery was very warm, like something was draining it far too quickly, or it re-charged too quickly, something I've noticed with cell phones mostly. Wasn't "hot" to the point I felt unsafe, but continued checking it through the following few hours. Stayed warm, but not hot. Noticed, with the room lights off, there was a dim dual light inside, dim in comparison to when it's full bright from a full charge.
   
2. The left tracker showed charging, with a % increase after a short bit, off the right battery. Plugged the Right tracker into the left battery, and swapped cables to be sure, no charge.
   

When I finished VR, removed the tracker from the battery strap, and placed the battery strap in a safe place, just in case it did catch fire. Thankfully none the next morning. No cables plugged in. Dim lights stayed on.
Sunday morning, no dim lights. Plugged in to charge, no lights. Plugged in the Tracker to charge via passthrough, to see if maybe the port(s) were damaged, received a charge. Left it for 30 mins, keeping a close eye on it. Warm from the charge I presume, and the battery was lit up as though it had a full charge. Unplugged the tracker, and the battery lights dimmed. Unplugged from the wall, still dim. Plugged tracker back in, tracker showed receiving a charge, then fully charged. Battery lights stayed dim. Unplugged the battery entirely, left to the side still warm. Over night the dim lights went out.
Now, if I plug it in to charge, nothing, but pass through works. Plug the tracker into the battery, no status lights on either. Basically same end result as my 2021 replacement.
I'd believe if the batteries were nearing their age. However...

• Most batteries last between 4-6 years of use, pending how heavily they are used. Presuming I did buy these in 2020 (I'm still trying to find facts to confirm or deny), odd two of the three died so soon.
  
• For the last couple or so years, my VR sessions have been rather limited. Once a week, sure, two to maybe three times a week is a rarity. Saturday nights I'm on for 3-8hours. Rest of the week it's maybe 2hours a session. Short sessions I don't bother to recharge the strap batteries, as I could normally make it through two Saturday nights before the batteries run fully dry. Recharging generally happens hours before I jump in, none are sitting at a full charge for days, maybe a day if I planned to jump in on a Friday and doesn't happen.
  

I'm on the fence to buy a single strap, due to warranty going out. Ordered SlimeVR a little while ago, so I'm looking at a couple months, at least, before the kit arrives.

These are things that collected over time that i would like to eventually see, in no particular order.
Lvl 85 / 300ish hours in.
1) emote wheel (with even more emotes)
2) missions for more than 4 players
3) stack of c4 stratagem. 4x on deployment.
If you have none to place- you hold the trigger. Sticks to surfaces and enemies.
4) infiltration objective. Where it's an underground bunker with a sealed door and you need to break in and destroy valuable data inside / kill VIP without orbital help (cause underground)
5) A delivery mission where squad has to deliver the flag (tutorial one) on a vehicle (ideally) into an area outside of destroyer control, place beacons for destroyer that map out the area and then- come back. (Like a setup for the missions we are doing) should kind of feel like old school halo capture the flag
6) random primary weapons to be in the mix on the map to pick up and try out, including warbond ones.
7) ability to drop EVERYTHING. Once had a bug in a helldive where my character dropped without any gear. Was very hectic 4 minutes but very fun where i ran around just with stratagems looking for a dead body to get some guns. (Character worked fine empty handed otherwise. Melee didnt work i guess it used pistol animation)
8) thermal/night vision but i heard theres plans for helmets in the works
9) weapon attachments silencemuzzle break/sights variations/stock (where applicable and i guess tied to weapon use or something) which would modify weapon slightly and nerf it elsewhere depending on attachment for a net neutral change.
10) more voicelines. To be exact- more voicelines representing things we mark. As new things get added and they have names. Marking targets can be wonky when character doesnt call the thing correctly.
Notorious lines/variations of lines missing:
"Need assistance"
"Bunker located" - triggered by marking either of the buttons
"Stalkers spotted" - last noticed marked stalker even if they are about to stealth. Just keep the marker there longer even after it's gone.
"(Factory) strider incoming" - marked strider
Idle chatter when someone spaces out or has to wait a while. This could be a comedy gold mine. Especially if it's a few players together.
*"Wonder how mom is doing?"
1- Do you ever wonder why we're here?
2- Is that Treason I'm hearing?
1- Uh... no... nevermind
11) animations for certain commonly used military commands/comms and certain useful comms missing.
1- wait
2- on my mark/countdown
3- go
12) creatures museum. Where you need to complete the entries on each unique enemy type (maybe you can find some maybe you can spend samples/sc on some rare ones)
13) shooting range / room that can simulate specific enemies based on completed museum entries
14) let me run on my destroyer... with a tradeoff. Let there be an rng leak with a wet floor sign and turn on ragdoll if we run on it.
15) destroyer upgrade: "patriotism pad".
A little table on the little balcony of the destroyer with a square foot of premium super earth Grass (totally not astro turf)
With a prompt "press e to feel inspired" and you proceed to touch grass. Not like you'd know with those gloves on... or what actual grass is supposed to feel like. Has no effect. Can support up to 4 helldivers touching grass.
Costs "whatever the current sample cap is"
Thanks if you read it all, I guess.
I just think some of this could be fun if done right.

Hi everyone!
For the last few months, right before my period I have been dealing with dry-skin that gets itchy and even quite painful due to how itchy it is. It’s located only on a small part of the labia (TMI IK SORRY). At first I thought the dry skin could be related to my imbalanced hormones and searches on the internet said right before your cycle estrogen drops which can cause dryness and itching. It’s not an STD and I’m pretty sure it’s not some sort of bacterial or viral infection since it only occurs the few days leading up to my period and the rest of the month is fine. From further searches on the internet I think it is cyclic vulvovaginitis….
It’s been happening for a few months now, I am going to speak to my doctor soon.
Has anyone else experienced this?? Is this PCOS related at all? I’m only 23 not sure if this is related to hormones or not but my estrogen is normal, with low progesterone and high DHEAS.
Thanks for your insights!

Keeping this simple. Got off Firenze today, and Im a bit disappointed.
Beautiful ship, but felt small and too enclosed.
Never could understand why ships that hold 2-4k ppl only have pools that hold a combined total of 50ppl.
Lido had the smallest pool ive seen on a ships lido deck, with no whirlpools.
Checkin at port was atrocious. No one knew where to go or what was going on. They seemed to have rushed, but hey got everyone on fast once it got started around 1ish.
Water shuttles to Cabo took them 4 and 1/2 hours!! Alot of ppl didnt get a chance to get off, and missed excursions, even with there number system... Reason, Panorama was also in port, and basically commandeered all the water shuttles for themselves, for 2 hrs.
Gym gets very hot! And is quite small, but nice equipment.
Dry sauna in mens and womens locker rooms.
Food was surprisingly decent and not too bland. The New Mereto spot (might have spelled that wrong) qas great!
Oh and my Midwest/Eastcoast ppl, dont expect warm weather. Idk when it gets hot off the west coast, if not by May then when?? But besides Cabo, temps stayed in the 60's and low 70's, cloudy.. The Pacifix ocean seems angry lol. If you looking for super warm and sunny, go to the Caribbean.
Banned info just inbox and I can let you know my perspective.

• Childhood friends with the Guillimans, grew up on Macragge and was a family friend of the family
  
• Knew Guillimom, they got along so well that many often joked that they were of some distant relation (pure speculation)
  
• Has a notorious sense of humor, one of the few people capable of making Guilliman laugh and they find the primarch's often dry jokes hilarious
  

-Good at noticing the little details, the "fine print" of an operation, to help support Guilliman's bigger picture style of thinking

• Calls Marneus Calgar "little Marnie", remembers what he was like as a recruit and jokes with him about it
  
• Was put into stasis alongside Guilliman, refused to spend any moment without her
  
• When they were eventually taken out of stasis, they were immediately distrustful of Yvraine (not particularly against Xenos, just Yvraine), but accepted that she was vital to reviving their beloved Primarch
  
• Was the first person to see Guilliman's face after she met with the Emperor upon being revived, reassured her that things could get better
  
• Often a steady hand of support and reassurance for the Primarch, who is often extremely stressed in the modern setting
  
• Was best friends with Regalia Dorn's SO, similar to their respective primarchs
  
• Had a bit of a rivalry with Leona El'Johnson's SO, their respective primarchs were NOT deeply invested in watching their SO win (They would assure you, ;) )
  
• Made a childhood drawing of them and Guilliman as a family on Macragge, Guilliman has it framed (much to the embarrassment of the SO)
  
• Affectionately called "Dearest Consort" by Guilliman, had their position officially declared within one of the many Codex Astartes subsections
  
• Similarly to how Guilliman is poetically referred to as "The Avenging Daughter", the SO is referred to as "The Consort Eternal", something that they are uncomfortable with, though Guilliman assures them that they are deserving of the title (both blushing wildly)
  

I have been experiencing perioral dermatitis for the better part of a year and I thought that I should share my experience and my *current* remission, including the process of which I *healed* my perioral dermatitis.
Presentation:
I presented with a rash that was very red and bumpy around the perioral region, including the nasolabial folds, the tip of the nose (with only redness), the sides of my chin, and just under my nose on the philtrum.
The rash itself was very red, bumpy, and itchy. It felt as if I had a severe sunburn and felt raw, as if I had been blowing my nose for a week straight.
The rash began one day after using a new vitamin C serum, but I believe this is also when I was trialing nasal steroids for post-nasal drip. I can't remember exactly.
Diagnosis/Treatment process:
I initially felt that the use of betametasone (topical steroid) would help the rash and I had some on hand, as I believed it was an irritant reaction to the new vitamin C serum I had used (or that it burned my skin). The steroids temporarily resolved the rash. I discontinued the new vitamin C serum (and nasal steroids, as I didn't like them), but the rash returned. At this point, I knew it was perioral dermatitis and the steroids weren't a good course of action, so I discontinued this too unless it was extremely irritated to temporarily relieve the burning/ripping sensation.
I then saw a dermatologist, who agreed with me that this was perioral dermatitis. I was advised to discontinue the topical steroids and to refrain from heavy moisturizers, which I had already done, but the rash persisted.
I work at an allergy clinic and decided to complete cosmetic patch testing to identify any potential contact allergens. Patch testing identified formaldehyde, propylene glycol, linalool, and gallates, of which are in almost every cosmetic I own.
I researched new cosmetics that I can use (as I am very into skin care) and found new cosmetics that were allergen free and safe for me to use, including my shampoo and conditioner(s), with the help of incidecoder.com (awesome website to find cosmetics free of specific ingredients).
The perioral rash resolved and the bumps, itchiness, and ripping sensation resolved after a week of my new skincare regimen. The redness slowly went down and it was as if everything was resolving.
After a month or two, the rash came back (though not as bad). I then decided to switch my toothpaste to a fluoride-free (and also SLS free by chance). This resolved the rash again, and it did not persist.
I did some work on a car part (that involved sanding, wearing a respirator, etc)., and my rash came back. I am also very allergic to thiuram, and I suspect that the mask had thiuram in it (also allergic to the epoxy in the clear coat, so that might have also played a role).
At this point, the rash was only really redness (which never really fully resolved) and a dehydration line in the nasolabial folds, but I did not have any itching, burning, or any visible bumps.
Over time, the rash subsided again. Except, now, every time I apply skin care (even ones I am not allergic to), I develop pin-sized red bumps all over the perioral region that look like tiny pimples (white top), though unpoppable. However, this occurs immediately after application of some skin care products (though not consistent; sometimes my cleanser, sometimes toner, sometimes moisturizer, etc), and then resolves within 30 minutes. This suggests to me that it is an irritant dermatitis and not an allergic reaction to my cosmetics.
Currently, I hypothesized that my previous perioral dermatitis, due to allergic reaction, fluoride, steroids, and/or thiuram, etc., compromised my skin barrier and I am now dealing with an irritant dermatitis.
I have removed all actives from my skincare regimen (was exfoliating every few days/twice weekly), removed treatment serums (i.e., THD ascorbate/vitamin C, niacinamide, etc), and decided to focus on repairing my skin barrier.
My current skincare regimen:

1. Farmacy/Clean it Zero cleansing balm (at night)
2. Dermalogica ultracalming cleanser (at night)
3. Anua heartleaf 77 soothing toner (morning and night)
4. Skin 1004 Hyalu-cica hydrating serum (morning and night)
5. Skin 1004 centella ampoule (morning and night)
6. Peter thomas roth Water Drench Hyaluronic Cloud Rich Barrier Moisturizer (morning and night)
7. Supergoop Unseen screen (morning)
8. A thin layer of penaten diaper rash cream all over the nasolabial folds, cheeks, and chin area (at night).

Following this regimen, I have had a full remission of my rash, including the redness and the dehydration lines are beginning to subside. I have been on this regimen for just under a week now.
Moral of the story,

1. Remove fluoride, steroids, and the common perioral dermatitis triggers from regimen.
2. Check for contact allergens. Almost all "hypoallergenic" or "allergen-free" products that I have found contain my allergens, as propylene glycol is not a common "allergen" in cosmetics.
3. Focus on repairing skin barrier and hydration.
4. Apply zinc barrier cream at night and/or in the morning if rash is particularly bad.

It may also be helpful to investigate for nutrient deficiencies. During this time, I also had dry, flakey skin (especially over my forehead/eyebrows) that I had considered was as fungal reaction; however, it was resistant to both moisturization and topical clotrimazole (anti-fungal cream). I was then found to be extremely vitamin D deficient, and the dryness/flaking went away with regular vitamin D supplementation!
Photos:
1-2. When my rash was its most symptomatic

1. Cut out allergens, rash was beginning to settle.
   
2. Rash gone, but left with extremely dry and flakey skin.
   
3. Rash/irritant dermatitis immediately following application of any skin care product
   
4. My skin 5 minutes ago, with a skincare regimen focused on barrier repair, void of known contact allergens, and applying zinc barrier cream at night time.
   

I hope that this may be of benefit to someone!

Round 1, Pick 8 - Michael Penix Jr., QB, Washington:
NFL: I’m not sure anyone expected Atlanta, which signed Kirk Cousins to a four-year, $180 million deal in March, to take a quarterback in the top 10, but here we are. Penix is a big-time playmaker who is the top deep-ball passer in this class. He has surgical precision and throws with good anticipation from the pocket.
CBS Sports: B-. They opted to take their quarterback of the future by taking Penix. He has all the tools, but will learn and wait behind Kirk Cousins. I wonder if he can rush the passer. Like the player, but don’t like the pick.
ESPN: Stunner. The Falcons pulled off the shocker of the first round, taking Penix earlier than just about every expert predicted. He was the fourth quarterback taken in the top 10. There's no doubt Atlanta saw something in Penix when watching him on tape and visiting him. The team sent a ton of staff to see him in recent weeks. Obviously, they felt comfortable with his durability, despite four season-ending injuries in college. Penix, a lefty, has an incredible arm, and from a skill standpoint, he's certainly right up there among the best signal callers on the board. And now he's the successor to Kirk Cousins.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Has devoted his life to the church of the flying spaghetti monster.
Round 2, Pick 35 - Ruke Orhorhoro, DT, Clemson:
NFL: Another trade, with the Falcons swooping up. And this is their second curious pick of this draft. Nothing against Orhorhoro, who has some intriguing skills and might be a better stat stuffer in the NFL than he was at Clemson. But with Johnny Newton on the board, this pick felt like a reach when you consider Atlanta's biggest need -- pass rush.
CBS Sports: B. Big, long, powerful interior rusher without many pass-rush moves. But his traits shine against the run and has enough explosion to win between gaps or with bull rushes. Expensive trade up though hurts his grade despite Falcons filling a need with quality prospect.
ESPN: The Falcons needed a pass-rusher, particularly an EDGE. Most of the impact players at that position went in the first round. Atlanta attempted to trade back into the late first, but weren't able to do so. Instead, the Falcons took Orhorhoro, a defensive tackle who has pass-rushing chops from the inside. Since 2021, Orhorhoro had 9.5 sacks lined up as a DT, which were tied for third in the ACC. The Nigeria-born Orhorhoro didn't start playing football until he was a junior in high school, so the Falcons probably like his upside.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: His bright green fanny pack when traveling is a must.
Round 3, Pick 74 - Bralen Trice, LB, Washington:
NFL: Trice was a consistent pressure source the past two years for the Huskies but had a rough pre-draft process when he shed a bunch of weight for the NFL Scouting Combine but failed to display better speed because of it. Trice was smart to bulk back up for his pro day because I think his game is predicated on winning with a combination of effort and surprising pop in his hands.
CBS Sports: A-. Bad testing hurt his stock but this is as productive of an EDGE as there is in this class. Slippery with pass-rush plans galore. Smaller than his listed weight and doesn’t have serious burst. Flashes of bend though.
ESPN: The Falcons got their pure pass-rusher and, boy, did they need it. This is a team that has had 18 fewer sacks than any other franchise in the NFL over the past three seasons. Atlanta's pass rush win rate was dead last in the league in 2023. Trice had 16 sacks over the past two seasons, which was tied for the fourth most among Power 5 players during that stretch. He's had 12 games with five or more pressures since the start of the 2022 season, which leads all FBS players. Trice played mostly outside linebacker at Washington and he had a reputation for being able to get to the quarterback.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Smells like Celestial Seasonings sleepy-time tea.
Round 4, Pick 109 - Brandon Dorlus, DT, Oregon:
NFL: Round 4 is for the Ducks. I haven't followed the Falcons' logic on every one of their selections this year, but I like Dorlus here. He can play multiple spots along the D-line and be a movable piece for Raheem Morris' unit.
CBS Sports: A-. Fun, twitchy and thick “tweener” who can literally win at any alignment along the defensive line. Isn’t the most sudden, nor the best with his hands but is so slippery between blockers. Overall athletic profile is impressive. Rushes can get too high, doesn’t play with much power. Can get washed out vs. the run. Has frame to add more weight.
ESPN: It was somewhat surprising the Falcons didn't take a cornerback here or even a safety. But the team is clearly and rapidly reshaping its defensive line, which already had quality veteran players in Grady Jarrett and David Onyemata. Dorlus is Atlanta's second straight defensive line selection. And Dorlus, who led Oregon with five sacks, is extremely versatile. He can play inside, as a defensive end or even outside linebacker. Pass-rushers were the Falcons' biggest needs and now they have three rookies who fit the bill after not taking a defender with the No. 8 overall pick as many expected.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Wants you to call your family and tell them you love and cherish them.
Round 5, Pick 143 - JD Bertrand, LB, Notre Dame:
NFL: An Atlanta native, Bertrand is a coach's dream in spite of his subpar length and injury history. He's instinctive and tough and carries a hard-hat mentality to work every day.
CBS Sports: C. So active, so smart. Always around the ball. Reads his keys in a flash. Block-avoider. Ascending coverage skill just minimal ball production at Notre Dame. High tackling numbers but also misses many.
ESPN: The Falcons are completely reshaping their front seven in this draft. In Bertrand, they not only get their second collegiate defensive team captain (Bralen Trice was captain at Washington), but also someone with significant physical tools. Bertrand was a three-year starter at Notre Dame, led the team with 76 tackles in 2023 and had 16 tackles behind the line of scrimmage this past season. He's also a former Eagle Scout and was a finalist for the Wuerffel Trophy for community service.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Prefers to code in Notepad with the wingding font.
Round 6, Pick 186 - Jase McClellan, RB, Alabama:
NFL: McClellan is a power back who runs with great toughness and exercises great ball security, fumbling only once in college on nearly 400 touches. But he's a one-dimensional runner on a team pretty loaded at running back.
CBS Sports: C+. Jack of all trades, master of none with minimal mileage on his legs. Will run away from some slower defenders but not a true burner. Receiving ability is there. Vision is a strength between the tackles. Elusive but not special in that regard. Classic scatback.
ESPN: The team needed a third running back behind Bijan Robinson and Tyler Allgeier, and that's presumably where McClellan will fit. McClellan was Alabama's primary starter for one year after returning in 2022 from a torn ACL. He ran for 890 yards on 180 carries with eight touchdowns this past season. McClellan, who's only 21, isn't flashy, but Atlanta has been taking upside and translatable physical attributes over flash this entire draft.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Kept calling the NFL at 800-635-5300 to complain about the refs.
Round 6, Pick 187 - Casey Washington, WR, Illinois:
NFL: A strong pro day helped solidify Washington as a draft pick. He looks like a solid, reliable possession receiver with natural route-running skills, but he's not special at any one thing.
CBS Sports: C. Good sized outside WR who plays with a throwback style. Jump balls, back-shoulders, etc. are his speciality. Good speed for his size too. Just doesn’t have the bend or suddenness to separate consistently.
ESPN: Depth at wide receiver was absolutely a need going into the draft, though it's still surprising the Falcons won't pick a cornerback until their final pick, if at all. Washington was sixth in the Big Ten in receiving yards during conference games (589) and finished his career with Illinois very strong -- 218 yards on nine receptions and three touchdowns against Northwestern back in November. Washington is 6-foot-2 and 200 pounds, and Atlanta did need size at the position. He'll be tied for the second tallest wide receiver on the roster after top wideout Drake London (6-4).
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Taught his goldfish to play fetch. Not the most exciting game but they’re happy.
Round 6, Pick 197 - Zion Logue, DT, Georgia:
NFL: Logue was a flash player for the two-time champion Bulldogs, often stuck behind a ton of talent in Athens. His length is outstanding, even if his production (1.5 sacks in 50-plus college games) isn't.
CBS Sports: C+. Big, long, thick SEC-tested DL with some above-average burst for his size and a pass-rush move every so often. Production never matched his size or athleticism.
ESPN: This draft, after all the controversy in the first round, was all about front-seven versatility and depth for the Falcons. Logue is a big body at 6-foot-6 and 314 pounds. And the team's fifth front-seven selection of the week. Atlanta has put a premium on length with its defenders so far and Logue has that to go along with his massive frame. The Tennessee native only started one year at Georgia, so he's relatively inexperienced with potential upside the Falcons are once again banking on.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Can eat twenty scones in a single sitting.

More of a discussion rather than a question but I am curious of the thoughts of others. I’m a Capricorn and my ex is a Cancer and we were together for 7 years till 03/2024. She broke it off because of me not realizing childhood trauma was affecting our relationship but in addition she lost someone close to her late last year.
Fast forward to this month we were in kind of a no contact period for a few weeks. She said she wants to take things slow so that we do not fall in the same cycle which is fine by me. So she is hot and cold when communicating. I know if Cancers you go at their pace so I have not tried to pressure her into hanging out almost at all.
My best friend had his wedding this past weekend and I did sent her a screenshot a few weeks ago. She reached out the day before and said she will go to the wedding.
So we had a great time and after the wedding we hit up one our favorite spots to eat and etc. She still says she needs time to just focus on herself but then she initiated all the kissing and hand holding and etc. yes we even were intimate at the end of the night. All that to say idk if all cancers exes are like this but it is definitely a rollercoaster.
Since the breakup she has been just doing a lot of going out and drinking which in return has caused weight gain and etc. I have thought long and hard about being patient with her. I still want to but I just do not know how to proceed with this Cancer. Curious the thoughts of others.

Introduction to Chapter 8 ("Heralded by Columns of Smoke: Pee Dee River to Fayetteville, North Carolina"):
"Once across the Pee Dee River, General Sherman's army marched in the direction of Fayetteville.
"Resistance from Confederate cavalry under Generals Hampton, Butler and Wheeler was steady and continuous. Wheeler attacked at Rockingham on March 7, and Hampton surprised and captured Kilpatrick's camp on March 10. But Sherman's army marched steadily on.
"General Joseph E. Johnston, with headquarters at Fayetteville, was following General Lee's first instruction, 'Concentrate all available forces.' He moved his headquarters to Raleigh and directed the assembling of his army to Smithfield.
"Eighty-four years earlier, in January of 1781, North Carolina had suffered another march by an invading army. Lord Cornwallis and his army followed almost the same route on their way to Wilmington. This army had come three thousand miles to put down 'a rebellion'; and to pursue retreating 'rebels' through a wild and thinly scattered country. His army had passed through Cross Creek, which was now called Fayetteville.
"On March 11, General Sherman and his army entered this town. 'We have swept the country well,' he reported. 'The men and animals are in fine condition.'"
--------------------------------------------
"Miss Alice Campbell was President of the Fayetteville Knitting Society when Colonel A. H. Hickenlooper, of Sherman's army, chose her home for his five-day sojourn. Bummers also visited her."
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"'Sherman, with his hordes of depraved and lawless men, came upon us like swarms of bees, bringing sorrow and desolation in their pathway. For days we had been expecting them, and our loved boys in grey had been passing through in squads, looking ragged and hungry. We gave them food and clothing, especially shoes and socks, for many of them were bare-footed. The enemy seemed to be pouring in by every road that led to our doomed little town. Our Cavalry were contending every step, firing and falling back, covering the retreat of our gallant little band, Hardee's forces, with General Wade Hampton, Butler, and others -- the scene in our town baffled description, all was consternation and dismay. In less time than I can write this, Sherman's army was in possession of our once peaceful, quiet homes. Every yard and every house was teeming with the bummers, who went into our homes -- no place was sacred; they even went into our trunks and bureau draws, stealing everything they could find; our entire premises were ransacked and plundered, so there was nothing left for us to eat, but perhaps a little meal and peas. Chickens, and in fact all poultry was shot down and taken off with all else. We all knew our silver, jewelry and all valuables would fall into their hands, so many women hid them in such places as they thought would never be found ....
''They went into homes that were beautiful, rolled elegant pianos into the yard with valuable furniture, china, cut glass, and everything that was dear to the heart, even old family portraits, and chopped them up with axes -- rolled barrels of flour and molasses into the parlors, and poured out their contents on beautiful velvet carpets, in many cases set fire to lovely homes and burned them to the ground, and even took some of our old citizens and hanged them until life was nearly extinct, to force them to tell where their money was hidden; when alas! they had none to hide. They burned our factories, and we had a number of them, also many large warehouses, filled with homespun, and dwellings, banks, stores and other buildings, so that the nights were made hideous with dense smoke and firelight in every direction. The crowning point to this terrible nightmare of destruction was the burning and battering down of our beautiful and grandly magnificent Arsenal, which was our pride, and the showplace of our town.
''On our vacant lot behind our home .... were a number of Confederate prisoners who had been captured by Sherman's army, and placed there under guard. They numbered about one hundred, I think. They were hatless and shoeless and ragged ....'
"One of General Howard's young officers chose to stay in the home of Sally Hawthorne whose father and uncle owned two large cotton mills in Fayetteville. General Howard appropriated one of her uncle's houses and his men camped in the surrounding fields and grounds."For five days, Sally, her mother who 'refused to leave her room,' her father, and a houseful of young brothers and sisters and servants were under strict orders from the officers of invasion.
"'Never will I forget,' said the little girl, Sally, whose story follows."
--------------------------------------------
"'Those last days were busy ones for General Sherman and his staff. The beautiful arsenal was destroyed and, as it happened, several private residences also caught fire and burned down, no help being given to save them, and the helpless owners rescued little, thankful to escape with their lives. Also the office of the town paper was blown up, as the editor was an especially obnoxious person in the eyes of the invading army, having waged a bitter fight against the North, and as his office was in the centre of the business part of town, more buildings were burned. (2) Then came the last day of the occupation; the troops were gathering and horses and supplies were being moved. All horses found there were taken along and many in the surrounding country were rounded up. Then there were the warehouses of cotton and rosin. The cotton was brought out, the barrels of rosin piled on them, and all set afire in the street. If houses caught, they burned, and that was all; many did. So a pall of black smoke hung over everything and the people were in a sad state of excitement and nervous exhaustion. As many houses were without a man to help or advise, the men of the family having been killed or being still in the army, the women and children were alone with the servants. The servants, with very few exceptions, proved true to their trust; they had been left to take care of the mistress and children in the master's absence, and though much excited, and sometimes frightened, they looked after the household faithfully. Of course there were some foolish and giddy young men and women who followed the army as it moved on from place to place, but they were the exception, not the rule ....'
"'No spot seemed safe from Sherman's bummers, but homes in the country or suburbs usually suffered more keenly than those in a town or city. The experiences of an unidentified woman who lived near Fayetteville were shared by many neighbors who were visited by the men from Sherman's army."
---------------------------------------------
<< Fayetteville, N.C., March 22, 1865 >>
".... Sherman has gone and terrible has been the storm that has swept over us with his coming and going. They deliberately shot two of our citizens -- murdered them in cold blood -- one of them a Mr. Murphy, a wounded soldier, Confederate States Army. They hung up three others and one lady, merely letting them down just in time to save life, in order to make them tell where their valuables were concealed; and they whipped -- stripped and cowhided --several good and well known citizens for the same purpose.
"There was no place, no chamber, trunk, drawer, desk, garret, closet or cellar that was private to their unholy eyes. Their rude hands spared nothing but our lives, and those they would have taken but they knew that therein they would accomplish the death of a few helpless women and children -- they would not in the least degree break or bend the spirit of our people. Squad after squad unceasingly came and went and tramped through the halls and rooms of our house day and night during the entire stay of the army.'
"At our house they killed every chicken, goose, turkey, cow, calf and every living thing, even to our pet dog. They carried off our wagons, carriage and horses, and broke up our buggy, wheelbarrow, garden implements, axes, hatchets, hammers, saws, and burned the fences. Our smokehouse and pantry, that a few days ago were well stored with bacon, lard, flour, dried fruit, meal, pickles, preserves, etc., now contain nothing whatever except a few pounds of meal and flour and five pounds of bacon. They took from old men, women and children alike, every garment of wearing apparel save what we had on, not even sparing the napkins of infants! Blankets, sheets, quilts, &c., such as it did not suit them to take away they tore to pieces before our eyes. After destroying everything we had, and taking from us every morsel of food (save the pittance I have mentioned), one of these barbarians had to add insult to injury by asking me 'what you (I) would live upon now?' I replied, 'Upon patriotism; I will exist upon the love of my country as long as life will last, and then I will die as firm in that love as the everlasting hills.
''Oh,' says he, ' but we shall soon subjugate the rebellion, and you will then have no country to love.
''Never!' I interrupted, 'never! you and your blood-handed countrymen may make the whole of this beautiful land one vast graveyard but its people will never be subjugated. Every man, woman and child of us will sleep quietly in honourable graves, but we will never live dishonourable lives .....'"
"When Sherman Came: Southern Women and the 'Great March'" by Katharine M. Jones (1964). Chapter 8: "Heralded by Columns of Smoke: Pee Dee River to Fayetteville, North Carolina." New York: The Bobbs-Merrill Company, Inc. Pages 273-286.

So im a quiet guy and i walk around school with 1-2 friends next to me but if i look around and spot a girl looking at me i get this feeling in my stomach of love... First time it happened i was thinking about us cuddling and chilling together hanging out, but i barely even know her we just made eye contact. This has happened 4 more times and the last time it happend was today.. There came thiss girl from another school to visit some friends and again i was walking around and just listening to my friends and i notice her taking quick looks at me... Again I was imagining us together holding hands and so on.... I mean she has curly hair and a nice body but thats not the point. Anyway whenever this happens i get this feeling of love or sometimes nervousness! Im so confused

I felt myself getting a little heated in today's CASA group discussions about "trauma." For every 10 times you'll hear that word, "resilience" will come up maybe once. I think most of us are aware of how arm-chairy and buzzworthy trauma and therapy have become. It's one of the latest cultural trends that facilitate a fluidity to presumed-more-informed conversation, without the practice of developing finer lines of understanding and distinction.
On the basis of your invocation of "trauma" you can rush to provide "help" and "services" and begin blaming an incredible amount of "mental health issues" or "unresolved childhoods." It's literally the cliche of a freshman's behavior after enrolling in their first college psychology course on blast. They've already invoked unsubstantiated pseudo-science and pop-culture explicitly not psychology as tools to provide frameworks for understanding your families. When someone infers substance abuse from a story just because the accusation was levied or any kind of drug was referenced at any level, their conclusions or assumptions go unchecked. It's predictably baking a recipe for an unnecessary mess on top of whatever the family is going through.
You can feel the tension every time you speak in "checking" ways. This happens to me routinely. One of the presenters spoke to the biased and incomplete ways that foster parents or aggravated family members might speak to the nature of the case or anyone's character. I pointed out that case managers can leave out details and massage stories to fit their ends as well. That got ignored and we moved right along. It's a real concern, and you need to know how to protect your relationship with someone who might be specifically directed to undermine your effort to advocate with the evidence.
But it doesn't feel "pleasant" or "decent" when you "want to believe the best" about your colleagues. Is it less true? Absolutely not. I was literally forced into that position from predatory supervisors and watched dipshit coworkers skip along those disingenuous lines without hesitation. Anecdotes fawning over better-inclined and capable FCMs do nothing to erase that.
So I started thinking about "discomfort" broadly. Another concept that's been wholesale abused. We needed to be way too on guard for what or whether we said might be a "micro aggression" or would cause someone to feel "unsafe" or "uncomfortable." Again, our pop psychology and propensity to overstate the noisiest out-ragers, made it so critical thinking and doubt became sinful in and of themselves. Facts don't matter in that space. "Being heard" is afforded only if you're claiming victimhood, but then, only victimhood of a certain type. The own-goal that is reactionary politics when you forgo any genuine attempt at taking someone's, almost certainly mostly irrational but nonetheless real, concern seriously is the ongoing consequence we get to suffer.
I think the more you practice observing conversational patterns, word choices, and trends, you can start to see previously "abstract" things considerably more acutely. One thing I notice is a propensity for "moving right along." I don't care what the topic is, there's a "normal" pace and pater that is preferred. Violate that, and it's time to move on. Point out the failings of the people you're supposed to trust most or even ingratiate yourself to? Let's move right along into the next module, as we all know there's nothing much more to say about that.
Another pattern I notice is the "taken aback pause." It's not precisely a reaction to being "offended," but it's a stark enough detail or way of relaying information that who you're speaking with was not prepared to engage that intensely. If they're quick, it'll be a brink-of-condescending acknowledgement before moving-right-along, or if they're not quick, it'll be a placating obfuscating of what you said to "even things out."Again, these are imprecise norms of conversational behavior around the particulars of one culture at one point in time, but they're real and of consequence whether or not you can see them.
When we use the word "bias," we let ourselves off the hook on the myriad ways it manifests. We let "bias" obscure in the opposite way that we let "trauma" obscure. Trauma is abused to over-explain what should be considered a necessary series of responses or consequences. Bias is abused to overlook how deeply it colors your propensity to engage that over-explaining behavior. You are biased, first and foremost, to your subjective experience of reality. In my experience, almost no one is that clued into their own flow of experience. Even the ones that are, or are showing the most growth and evidence, struggle, and will struggle indefinitely. This includes myself.
That's the point, though. You need the struggle to keep your wits about you. You need appropriate stressors against the things that will help you grow and incorporate. By definition, norms put that insistence to the side so we can all find a baseline mutual understanding to move right along down. The more cliched you sound, if you don't have a reflex to pause and pull back, the more you're training yourself to believe and act on "just whatever it is you say." You're a circular and totalitarian monster by default.
Add to that, you may not have any real ability or willingness to recognize how many cliches you truly are under the spell of. This is what the unironic attempts around discussions of "privilege" do a generally miserable job of explaining. We all have privileges up and down hierarchies and competencies and dozens of other metrics we fluidly transition through all day. None are necessarily going to jar you awake or indicate there's anything worth examining on their own. Your cohort speaks your language. Your education taught you the "right" things. Your hobbies and interests conform to a person of your state and stature. "It's just how things are done."
This provokes people's insecurity as a standing state of a lack of readiness. When you poke people, you'll find they don't have "real" reasons for their behavior, beliefs, or words. It's all been handed to them. They're a series of unconscious forces they're more or less molding to because that's how our brains work. Your brain doesn't care what it forms a pattern around, just that it can do so. There's survival reasons for this, as well as a story of basic capacities to function regardless of the nature of the environment that's all-but certain to otherwise kill you if you can't figure it out.
I, routinely, provoke that insecurity. I've learned to show considerably less ambivalence about the person after they've been provoked, but it happens just as an ongoing and predictable course of my practice. This is my practice. I analyze. I pull back. I try to identify and speak to patterns, even if they're abstract, but certainly concrete enough for me to anticipate them and work with or around them. I know what kind of response I need built into what I can reliably anticipate is going to be yours. I know how to piss off and get ignored by "the internet," and I know how to illicit a thousand likes. What's important to me is that I'm speaking as closely to my real perspective or agenda as possible, and not being driven by an elusive brain chemical game subject to the mercy of algorithms or inarticulate desires to unhealthily fit in.
I want to fit in, but with an ever-winnowing type of person. I want to be less-wrong in the information I share, but not at the expense of someone's capacity to hear it or learn from it if I can't be bothered to temper how I say it. I want to grow in my capacity to accept people, but not at the expense of their obligation to better account for and relay their own experience. I've been told my whole life that I'm not allowed to expect the same things from other people as I might of myself. I think this is fundamentally wrong and condescending. I think I should maintain the expectation while doing everything in my power to reduce the barriers to any one person getting to whatever heights you think I've managed or been born with.
Here again, we stay lost. How do you remove barriers you can't see or might even be dispositionally against even acknowledging can exist altogether? How many "boot straps" types can even be bothered to acknowledge the impact of the villages they're living in? How many "deeply empathic" people would entertain pairing their sensibilities to the word "toxic" under any circumstance? It's pretty easy, now, for me to see when my forthright manner acts as too blunt an instrument. Can you see where your baseline disposition and sympathies cloud your judgment and capacity to act more accountably?
I feel like "accountable" itself is poorly understood. Just count! Count the disquieting contradictory thought. Count the intensity, frequency, and severity of the feelings. Count the attempts to mitigate or times you recognized forgoing to do so. Accountability doesn't mean wildly wielding an axe to bring down dramatic consequences upon everything and everyone that wasn't noticed until now. It's just asking yourself, over and over again, what can I control about this situation? What can I act on that speaks to my values and perception?
Let's take the real world example of me and Byron. I can't control his perception of what he thought he was doing in service to the kid. I can't control his awareness of any creeping mental health issues that might have arisen. I can't control whether or not he responds affirmatively to my new boundaries. I could control telling him what those boundaries were altogether, so I did. I can affirm that I'm only going to communicate along the lines that hopefully help the boundary conditions get met before I'm willing to get more colloquial or back to friendly. I can respect that he told me our friendship is "invaluable." I can't truthfully say I think we'd be using that word in a mutually understood way until I see practical, tangible effects upon my life that counteract where I feel I am as a direct result of my expression of friendship getting grossly taken advantage of.
Until then, I'll treat him like I would any client. Show me. I'll patiently-enough nod along, provide whatever perspective or reframe that I can, and remain open to demonstrated behavior changes. I don't have to throw myself back into his fire. If I'm going to claim a desire to protect and maintain genuine friendships or care for those in my life, I'm not going to treat myself with the ambivalence I see others suffer from themselves every day.
I choose that level of discomfort. I only mildly complain today, as it's gotten dramatically better, about doing things alone and never having anyone to hang out with. Byron was my go-to spot for killing time or hanging out. Not once in my free time have I said, "You know, fuck my boundary, let's hang out there!" How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I advocate for you establishing better boundaries with people in your life? How could I ignore what I would characterize as gleeful and willful defiance of doing "better" than playing out battered-wife excuse making? I will not play-act friendship with someone who can't be bothered to work as hard on themselves or in service to me as I've been for them. That's not the kind of friend I am, so it's not the one I'll let back in lightly.
What's normal, though? No matter how bad someone fucks you, forgive and pretend to forget, right? They're "family." Life's too short. It is what it is. They didn't mean to or weren't aware. That's not who they were in the past. Holding grudges is unhealthy. Your insecurities around being isolated or alone betray you. Your obligation to play along and appease your mutual network takes over. Whether any real healing or mutual understanding comes into the equation is perfectly mute because we need to just move right along and "love each other."
I watch that dance justify literally every conceivable level of atrocity. It is the exact same self-servicing motivatedly ignorant pattern. From your god's behavior right on down through your secret satisfaction and smirk at punishing your pet a little too aggressively just that one time. What you don't account for counts on you to carry out its consequences. And you are, every day, in big and small ways, and it's predictable and fixable, but only with stuff like this. You have to own it. You have to "yes, and" like it's an improv class. You have to perpetually entertain the thought that you are a misguided monster, but that fact doesn't have to dictate your behavior going forward nor need to illicit some special amount of stress or talking in circles.
Then you might have a prayer of genuinely helping anything, because you see how you're otherwise fucking it up within yourself. You can resist the insistence to move past meaningful details. You can point to specific repeatable demonstrations of your values. You can see other people responding to your confidence of relatable recognizable capacity, and not the shadow game of peacocking virtue signaling and mantra echoing.
I will spend thousands of dollars, use all my tools, and spend every waking hour I have trying to help. I think most people I've met would say the same thing. Who is actually doing so? And in service to whom? Do you trust what drives them? Do you see equitable put in get out dynamics? Or is it codepedence? Or insecurity? Or some noble story of infinite sacrifice and unconditional love?
I'm willing to set the conditions because I expect better than what's normal of and for myself. Were circumstances reversed, I wouldn't treat you as I've been treated, and most importantly, have the demonstrated behavior from myself to trust. I've spent the time and money. I've opened the conversations. I've challenged the mismanaged powers and privileges. I've risen to the challenge of creating circumstances that inch me closer to what I actually want or think is better versus what's expected of me. It never ends. Every second you pretend otherwise, you disappear, and I have to fit your abstract abdication into my specific constructs.

I just finished {Peaches & Honey: These Immortal Truths by R Raeta} and had to come straight here to rave about it!

Synopsis

Anna is a young, poor woman in England 1184, outcasted for her vitiligo. Struggling to survive on her own, she one day saves a girl in dire circumstances. This girl - actually a god in disguise - thanks her with the gift of a divine peach. Anna eats the entire thing, intrigued by its hollow center and lack of a seed. The peach grants Anna a gift: her wounds heal faster than they can kill her. But this gift comes with the challenges of outliving everyone she has ever known or will ever know. As the centuries pass, the only constant in her life is that her creator - Khiran - always returns to see her.

Review

The often-made comparison between this and The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue are very apt. That book is pretty polarizing, but I actually liked it quite a bit. However, I liked this one even better. This is the first book in a duology.
This book was excellent for a lot of different reasons:

• Beautiful, lyrical prose
• Anna is a deserving and kindhearted FMC, with not an ounce of sass or irony
• Khiran is an intriguing MMC, a powerful and somewhat depressed man who wishes to live in a world of Anna's creation
• Khiran's chemistry with Anna leaps off the page
• Lovely historical settings, cultures, time periods, and people give each chapter a fresh feel
• More character driven than plot driven, but with characters this great, that's a good thing
• Deeply romantic pining over centuries
• Third person POV

My only complaints about this book are quite minor:

• At some point, it does seem a little silly that Anna just so happens to experience many major world events that a freshman in high school would learn in history class. I mean, yeah she just so happens to be in London during Jack the Ripper and in the US during the Civil War and underground railroad and in Italy during the initial spread of the black plague and in Spain during the first circumnavigation of the world and expansion into the New World and in Boston during the Boston Tea Partyand she's in Germany leading up to WWII At some point those coincidences do seem improbable and very western-centric (only one chapter focuses on the east; a chapter on China and piracy).
• In addition, there are a 4-5 times in the story that anachronisms pop up that really stood out to me; calling the War of the Rebellion / War for Southern Independence the "American Civil War" in the 1860s just doesn't make sense. Referring to German LGBTQ+ people as "gay" in the 1930s when that term just didn't exist in that context then...

These complaints are very minor, however, because the prose is so beautiful and the characters are so wonderful to read about and experience all these different events through their eyes. The occassional incorrect, anachronistic word used every hundred pages or so is truly not a stumbling block to enjoying this book.
I couldn't put this book down and I am very eager for book 2 to come out in early June!

This book is for you if you like:

• Flowery, purple prose
• Slow burn romances
• Subtle, slow-moving fantasy elements
• Historical time periods
• Character-driven stories
• Mature, complex, deeply human characters
• The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue and/or wanted a kinder, more loving version of that book
• Books that are free on KU (and currently on sale if you wanna buy it)
• Stories where even minor characters feel like real humans
• Stories where the FMC is loved because of her genuine kindness rather than for her beauty or some inexplicable quality that draws others to her
• Books featuring insecurity due to feeling like an outsider
• A really cool take on magic / gods / powers that feels almost mythical

Quotes

That night, when she curls up under the blanket and lets the tears drip silently from her cheeks, she wonders how it’s possible to grieve the loss of something she never expected to have.

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“What we want isn’t always what we need,” Eira says, setting the jar on the table before reaching out and setting her ancient hands on Anna’s shoulders. “Immortality is a fickle beast, dear girl. Stay too long in one place and you’ll rot there.” “But I’m happy—” “No,” she interrupts, “You’re not unhappy. It’s not the same.”

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Truths are for those who can afford to live it, not for those struggling to find any bright spot of light in a world that casts them into darkness.

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“It’s easy to be righteous, to be angry, when you weren’t there to see all the blood and misery that came before you,” he says. “Most of these soldiers will only ever see one war firsthand in their lifetime. The ones who survive will grow old and sit in front of their hearths and pass stories of this battle to their children and grandchildren. They’ll romanticize it. Sing praises of how bravely their battalion fought. They won’t speak of the squelch of their fellow friend and soldier’s blood in their boots, or the fear that painted every soldier’s face. Enemy and ally alike.”

Kingmaker: A Game of Thrones in Brevoy
System: Dungeons & Dragons 5e
Format: Discord Text pbp
No. of Players: 5
[Notice: This is a 18+ campaign. It contains NSFW and adult elements.]

The same message has appeared on bounty boards and in taverns across Brevoy.
HEROES WANTED!
Those able of body and brave of heart are invited to the mansion of Lady Jamandi Aldori, Swordlord & Chief Defender of Restov, to embark on an expedition into the Stolen Lands.
Bandits and monsters have been allowed to infest our southern borders for far too long. Those selected will be divided into groups and given a charter to reopen old trade routes and secure the surrounding territory. The brave-hearted mercenaries and adventurers who choose to take on this quest will face unimaginable danger, but whomever succeeds shall receive honor, glory, and a noble title granting dominion over the lands they've claimed to pass on their children.

For generations, the Stolen Lands have spanned the southern border of Brevoy. Many attempts have been made to settle them, but to date, none have succeeded, making these 35,000 square miles of wilderness the largest swath of unclaimed land in the entire region. As tensions mount in Brevoy, one ambitious swordlord hopes to change that fact.
Lady Jamandi Aldori is issuing charters to several groups of adventurers, sending them south into the Stolen Lands to reopen old trade routes and defeat the bandits and monsters who have made them too dangerous to use. By sending free agents south, this swordlord of Rostland hopes to alter the political balance of power in Brevoy without sacrificing her own position or forces. Yet, as with most complex and brilliant plans, the future holds plenty of opportunities for disaster.

"When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."

Hello! I'm a longtime DM and a huge fan of A Song of Ice & Fire. I'm looking to run a campaign that's heavily influenced by the series I hold so dear. If you're a casual fan who's only seen Game of Thrones or House or the Dragon, you're more than welcome! The main things I'm looking for here are quality roleplay and enthusiasm. If you've got that, I promise we can have a good game together.

"Winter is coming."

Kingmaker is an Adventure Path originally designed by Paizo for the Pathfinder RPG but has been converted to be compatible with the 5th edition D&D ruleset. I'm taking so serious liberties with it but the bones of the adventure remain the same. Kingmaker is a high fantasy campaign that thrusts the player characters into a unique situation of building their own kingdom and carving out their own niche upon the world. You may be a scion of a lesser branch of the great families with ambitions that can't be hindered by your place in the succession. You could be a commoner whose witnessed your humble community suffer at the hands of the lawless bandits pillaging the countryside and will take on this great challenge so your family can live free. Perhaps you are a bastard child of a powerful figure and now seek to carve out your own kingdom knowing that you stand to inherit nothing you don't build for yourself.

"When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives."

I've got a couple of expectations for the characters that will be brought into the adventure. I am looking for characters with reasons to have a desire to venture into hostile territory and work as a team to build a kingdom. Good or evil doesn't matter but chaos doesn't serve to further the group. So, no chaotic alignment will be allowed. This is not the campaign for chaotic evil players looking to betray the other players, loners or free-spirited vagabonds.

"Backstabbing doesn't prepare you for a fight, and that's all the realm is now. Backstabbing and scheming and arse-licking and money-grubbing."

Political intrigue is a pillar of the series inspiring this and a big part of my plans, but in order to keep charisma from being everyone's primary stat I will be using a reputation system to even the playing field when dealing with individuals of consequence. In certain circles, a knight renowned for their honor and bravery is going to be as respected and influential, if not more, as a traditional face will be anywhere else. I think this will do a lot to allow the party to have a proper balance of classes with no one feeling handicapped in the social aspects.

"Let me give you some counsel, bastard. Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

You may have noticed the tag, and the catch is: This is an adult only game, featuring erotic roleplay where characters can engage in sexual activities with no fade-to-black, etc. Lewd events, plans, consequences, and more are all on the table in this campaign. If you've watched either of the shows on HBO, this probably isn't much of a surprise to you. I'd like to be clear that just because it's on the table, this game will not become a raunchy, never ending orgy. There is usually meaning behind how sex is used in the series and that's what I'm looking to emulate.

"Distrusting me was the wisest thing you've done since you climbed off your horse."

GRRM often uses the intimate scenes to peel back layers to a character. Sometimes to paint them in a different light, other times to drive them further into the role he wishes to present them to the reader in. Some examples would be Tyrion's lingering trauma and emotional vulnerability, driving him to purchase the closest thing he believes he can have to real love being a way to earn Tyrion the reader's sympathy. Contrast that with Cersei's narcissism making her seek lovers, she can view as idealized male versions of herself, the only match worthy in her deranged mind. Or how Littlefinger justifies his pitiless ambition, being something forced on him by a cruel and unfair world that's kept him and his one true love apart by no fault of their own.

"Love is the death of duty."

PCs are encouraged to find and nurture romantic relationships with other characters or NPCs. Weddings are considered the truest way of sealing alliances, after all. Beyond the love lives of the characters, there are many other scenarios. A corrupt noble might be willing to trade information to carry on an affair on their spouse. A sex scandal could undermine the legitimacy of a claimant in a contested succession. Barbarian raiders may attack a village under your protection and take the women as slaves. Spies might attempt to seduce you in order to secure a position in your court and feed information to a rival house. A neighboring tyrant might earn your ire when reports of him abusing his authority to take advantage of an unfortunate captive or innocent reaches you.

"The things I do for love."

Because I'm sure it needs to be said. ERP will not be my main focus while running this; it may or may not even happen on my end. I'll already be responsible for the story, so trying to match everyone's taste in smut on top of that might be biting off more than I can chew. That being said, I'm all for your characters sharing a tent during the long weeks of adventuring because I think a good amount of sexual tension adds player investment and fun to the story. While I'm not promising anything, I'm not firmly ruling things out on my end either. You all could charm your way into a few NPC's pants to loosen a secret from their lips or secure a favor down the road. You might decide to blow your coins on prostitutes while visiting the capital. If the scene serves the story (or I'm just feeling horny that day), I may indulge you! Just wanted to make sure you're aware that just because I am open to ERP does not mean I'm making a commitment to provide it to everyone, expecting all players to take part in it, or putting it ahead of the actual campaign in any capacity.

"There are no other men like me. Only me."

If it's not apparent by now, I'm very serious about making this game something great. I love the ASOIAF books; I love the adventure path; I love the cRPG, and I desperately want to do justice by all three influences. Expect a bit of gritty realism and tragedy in this story. Your triumphs will be hard fought. Your holdings will face constant peril. Your enemies will always be lurking with their knives out for the moment you drop your guard. However, the rewards for your success in this campaign are unlike any other. I truly don't think there is another adventure that matches the sense of accomplishment that comes from taking a stretch of hostile wilderness and carving your own thriving kingdom from it.

"Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less."

A little bit on my approach to DMing this. I plan on running this very differently from traditional D&D 5e. Combat is obviously what the system does the most of, but if you've ever watched GoT or HotD you'd see the main characters don't draw their swords all that often. In fact, a lot of the main cast never have their own fight scenes. I like this less is more approach a great deal and think it'll bring a lot to the pbp experience. Outside of encounters with a named enemy, I won't be using initiative. This is so the RP isn't held up by any individual's schedule. I'll also be utilizing the minion rule from 4e where all the monsters have 1 HP. Their AC remains the same, so if you have trouble hitting them, the danger remains but low damage rolls won't cause encounters to drag unnecessarily.

"Hard truths cut both ways."

Matching the tone of the books this campaign is inspired by will take collaboration. I want the heroes of this story to have lives that involve more than their swords and spells. If you’re just looking to roleplay a non-stop fantasy porno, this isn't the game for you. But if you are interested in writing a character who is enriched by getting to explore their desires, be influenced by lusts, make compromises out of attraction, and maybe even experience heartbreak if their trust and affection wound up in the wrong hands-- then you're exactly who I'm looking for!

"If I do not press my claim, my claim will be forgotten. I will not become a page in someone else's history book."

If you can't be bothered to respond to the RP for days at a time, I'm going to kick you out! Plain and simple. I won't be reaching out. I won't be constantly giving you reminders. There will be no stoppages for you to get your shit together. It's a big world, and I'm not going to hesitate to find someone else interested in actively participating in the adventure if you go ghost. I understand that IRL always comes first, so if you have the common courtesy to reach out and explain your circumstances that prevent you from putting together a couple paragraphs every day, then I will still be replacing you, but I will move your character out of the story for you to pick up later on when you can. If you can't manage to let me know what's going on, then I'm just going to forget about you and move right along so everyone else can continue the fun!

"I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things."

My plan to be pretty rules-light with this campaign since while I run a lot of D&D, I haven't run that many text games. I'm still confident I can handle it, but I'm just throwing it out there in case there are bumps along the road. If you're more experienced in the pbp arena than I am, I'd greatly appreciate your advice as things are coming together. We will be using dndbeyond and the standard discord bots. In my experience, these games work a lot better when the story is put above mechanics, so keeping things to PHB races and PHB/XgtE subclasses. If you're looking to do some awesome game-breaker build you've theory crafted for months. This may not be the game for it. I don't plan on meticulously tracking things to make sure you get your sentinel feat trigger each turn.

“Oh, my sweet summer child, what do you know about fear?”

Alright! That's my pitch. Sorry you had to read all that, but hopefully you're still interested and can see I don't have a problem handing out paragraphs, so this game ought to be in good hands. I look forward to reading your applications and will be leaving the form open for the next week while I work on the discord server.

“The night is dark and full of terrors.”

So that was a lot, but any of you who are still interested please don't hesitate! I'll be happy to have you and look forward to playing with you. As well as hopefully some fun debates about who we're rooting for in HotD season 2 as it airs.

“There is only one god, and His name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: 'not today'.”

The application link is down below! I'm going to leave it open for a week so folks don't miss out. I will be checking it regularly, so if I find a bunch of folks I like over the first couple days, I'll reach out to them, but I'm sure we all know how these sorts of games go. People may drop out or prove unreachable, so even if you're not someone who hears back from me immediately, we might be writing together soon!
The Stolen Lands await you!
https://forms.gle/bnmHsUt2Qmq5D1jK8