I was in a facebook messenger group chat and blocked one of the members. So facebook said i had to leave the group chat. Which i did. But for the other members it's always shown them i was still in the group chat.
now the person i've blocked has been removed from the group chat as well and i want to rejoin it. But i cant find it at all.
the admins have tried manually removing me and re-adding me. It always shows on their side that i'm active in the chat when i'm added.
But on my end i still have no access to it. Even to search it up.
I've tried uninstalling and reinstalling the app. No effect. I've also tried unblocking the person (who is no longer in the chat anyways). Still no effect.
Any advice?

I 19 female, I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years with John (fake name) 19 male. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 16. For context, John and I met in a group and since then we started talking. (I was dating my ex, but when I realized that I had developed feelings for John I ended that relationship.) In this group he was a big womanizer, and he talked to his ex, which didn't bother me since I never thought there was anything malicious about it. 4 months later I asked John if he felt anything for me, because he was acting romantic and sweet toward me, he said yes and then we started dating. (Note: he was jealous of my friends). A few weeks after we started dating, and all of our mutual friends knew about our relationship, and he didn't feel uncomfortable with people knowing about it, I sent him Intimate photos, he went on and sent these photos to our group, where there were more than 100 people, including our friends. When I saw it I was shocked and immediately left the group. My friends came to talk to me and so did he. He apologized, said he was going to send these photos to a group that was just him because according to him it was easier for him to see. Reading this now I realize it's a strange thing... but at the time I was so in love that I excused him. That same day we made a video call until I went to sleep, he praised me a lot, dedicated some songs to me, it was very romantic.During the next few weeks we made video calls every day, watched movies, listened to music, talked a lot until the early hours of the morning. There was a day when a girl joined the group where we were, and she and I became very good friends, there ended up being a lot of confusion because she wanted to date John, but he didn't want to. However, he always asked for intimate photos for her or for another girl in the group, he said it was to make me jealous, he ended up sending some intimate photos to her too. Well, a few months passed and I was suffering with my mental health, a few months before I met him I had tried to take my life, and I was under psychiatric care. During that time I started smoking and hurting myself, but he always helped me not to do so and always asked me to stop smoking and never use drugs. Until one day I was having an anxiety attack and felt the need to hurt myself while I was on a call with him, so he asked me to write his name on my skin with the razor. I did, he laughed. Some more time passed and I experienced what I think was an attack of schizophrenia, I saw and heard a person talking to me and asking me to do certain things that would hurt me. John stayed on video call with me while he tried to calm me down and said everything was ok and asked me to pray. That day my mother had gone to work, so I was alone at home, she wouldn't come back until 1pm. A few months later he asked me to buy some sex toys, I initially refused and was a little afraid, but then I agreed and bought my first vibrator. He always asked for videos and photos, or even for me to use the vibrator on a video call, as he always sent photos and videos and even did things on a call, I accepted. It turned out that I got sick, I couldn't walk, I felt a lot of pain, very strong cramps, I went to the hospital but it didn't help. I took some medication but none of it helped. Jonh was worried about me and asked me to go back to the hospital, which I did, but once again it didn't do much good. Then in December he asked me to buy another toy, but this time it would be a dildo. I was very afraid to buy it since I didn't have much privacy at home, but I bought it. When it arrived, he asked me to use it but I said I wasn't going to use it at that moment because I wanted to wash it first and then use it but my mother was in the living room so there was no way. He was extremely upset, he said that I had promised to use it the day I arrived and that he was tired from work and just wanted it to cheer him up a little. We argued a little and went to sleep.Cut to a few months later when he got a new job (he worked with his father), met some new people and completely changed. He became cold, distant, wanted everything his way or he would get upset and give me the silent treatment. Since then we started fighting almost every day, sometimes several times during the day. He always said he would break up with me if I didn't do what he wanted or the way he wanted, as I was "blind", so to speak, I always did everything. I don't want to go into too much detail but this but one thing you need to know is that during one of those fights he told me "welcome to hell". Since then everything has gotten worse. For me to achieve the minimum I had to do everything he wanted, how he wanted and when he wanted, in his time. If he wanted videos, I had to record them and send them to him, otherwise he He said he was going to break up with me or that he wouldn't talk to me until I sent the videos. I'm not a saint either, I often freaked out because of jealousy and when I saw that he had followed his ex I got really upset, because she was the only one who made me insecure, and he knew that. One thing I forgot to mention was that he told me at the beginning that he only followed some friends and family (he told me who was who and that if I wanted I could remove someone). Another thing I forgot to mention was that he's been in a group for a few years where his friends who are in that group always hit on him, he's kind of reciprocal with them. He never let me go there because according to him I wouldn't like the type of humor they have there... a group that sends a lot of videos and photos of naked women, women dancing.. But he refuses to leave because he "is already a long-time member there, and his friends are there", in his words. Coming back, he told me that he only followed her because she followed him first and I told him that if she followed him it was because he unblocked her, he was upset that I said that and blocked her again. Some time later I returned to the hospital with some urgency as I was unable to cope with the pain, I needed to stay there overnight whilst receiving medication. He wasn't happy about it at all since that meant there would be no videos or photos. The doctors asked me to do some tests as quickly as possible to try to find out the cause of this pain, which they thought was the kidneys (but it wasn't).This meant I had to leave the house and go to the clinics to schedule exams and take them. He was never happy when I needed to leave the house or when I went out with my family. Cut to a time later when we broke up (my initiative) and I put all the toys in the trash. He was super upset and we kind of talked back and forth (I know what many off you will think But I couldn't really break up with him. So he made me buy all the toys again. That is what happened. Well, I bought not only the toys but also some lingerie. He really liked that and it seemed like we were finally okay. But it didn't last long. Soon we fought again and broke up, once again I put everything in the trash, he came back, he forced me again Buying but he was the one who bought the things. He continued to force me to record the videos and send them to him. During this time of ending the relationship and coming back, ending the relationship and coming back, I called his friends to ask for help. John was super upset with this attitude of mine. He told me that I made a mistake and broke his trust. Then time passed and he went on a trip with his family when he returned home, it was on a day when there was a party in his city and his friends were going. When he got home he told me and said he was going to sleep. I was suspicious so I went to look at his friend's profile and guess what? His friend had just post a story where John appeared. Same t-shirt, same cap. The same face. Obviously I confronted him about it and he told me it wasn't him because he was sleeping at home. I didn't believe it but leave it behind. At this point, my best friend couldn't take it anymore, almost every day of me crying to her about John and his actions. A few weeks went by and I asked his friend if it was really John or not, he said no (I believe he was covering it up.So he went to get a tattoo, on his neck. When it was over he went to sleep. I don't remember that day well but I remember that I called him many times that night and when he answered I heard moaning.. so I hung up and told my best friend. I called again and again and when he answered I heard the sound of a car. I was devastated, I couldn't believe it. The next morning he freaked out at me, and said he was sleeping. First he said that his mother had answered the phone, then he said that he had answered the phone and that the moans were his because of the tattoo. I pretended this situation hadn't happened and we moved on. (note: I was emotionally dependent on him) Cut to January of this year, when he asked me to open up the relationship as this wasn't working. I said no, and that in my view it was like cheating but without the burden of conscience. So he continued to treat me badly. He admitted that when he first started treating me badly it was only because he wanted me to break up with him. (he thought traumatizing me and triggering me was a good idea) He told me he didn't want me to see his Facebook so I wouldn't see his relatives' profiles. When I asked about some people he followed that he had already said were cousins, he said that they were friends or that he didn't know that his friends had asked him to follow them and sending messages to them. When I followed someone he always freaked out and asked who he was over and over again, for example: I followed someone, John saw it and sent me a message asking who it was, I replied "he's a friend of mine" Then John would go on "who is he?" and again "who is he?" and again and again... Two months ago he said he wanted some time, I said very badly, he said it could be but that we wouldn't be with other people nor would there be flirting with other people. He agreed. But then we got into a big fight where he threatened me with a lawsuit, he didn't give me reasons or anything, he just said he was going to sue me. I insisted on knowing why he only said he was going to have to pay him a high price and I would probably go to prison. So for the next 3 days this was our topic of conversation, him threatening me, me crying, and asking why. Then I reached my limit On the day of the last lawsuit threat, I told my mother about him, the way he treated me and that I wanted a new cell phone number.(She didn't know, I never told her about him. Although he tried to contact her a few times. But I blocked him) So we went to buy a new contact for me, as he couldn't call me or get in touch with me anywhere. He asked some people to call my mother and my friends. My friends were talking to me and sending me screenshots of everything, so someone sent him the link to our group and he went in there and found out my new number. I was weakened when my friend told me that he was crying and that he told him that he loved me and that he was afraid of losing me. So I said okay I could talk to him. He told me some things like that he was sorry for making me suffer. I tried to understand his side. We came back. But I told him that the first thing he did I would leave. I did not go. And I regret it. He was never affectionate, or cute with me again. He continued to force me to send him photos and videos. And doing what he wanted. He was upset when I left. He didn't like me posting full body photos or showing more. Whereas he could go around shirtless, send shirtless photos to his group, post shirtless photos online. Once he published a photo of a photo with his cousin and hid it from me so I wouldn't see it (I knew he was going to this party, he had told me, it was a family party) Since then, I went to lawyers to ask for advice. One of the people I managed to talk to, as it was online and free, told me to contact the police and that what he was doing was wrong. Every time I ask him something he gets upset and says they are useless questions, that I'm stupid, I don't understand anything. Whenever he forces me to record something, he never sends anything. He always says he's tired, But if his friends ask him to go out or go to dinner or do anything, he'll go, even if he's tired. This is it. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really afraid that he'll do something, after so many threats, and all the lies. I have the support of my family and friends. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes, I used the translator and tried to explain more or less all the information you should know. Please be friendly.

So a couple of months ago we broke up and she blocked me on everything. And she’s in a new relationship now. I went on Facebook on my break and went to my search bar and she popped up in the search. I’m not reaching out until she does, but why would she unblock me without any context?

TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?

TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?

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Content Warning: Abduction, Child Abandonment, Drug abuse, Suicide
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I would link to my post history but I think I posted years ago with a throwaway, so I'll try to summarize here. I've been with DH for over 20 years. He went NC with his mother earlier this year after she sent him a series of text messages complaining that he doesn't call her enough, what a bad son he is, and how miserable she is. He ignored her until he couldn't anymore and then called her to tell her off. She immediately hung up on him and they haven't spoken since. She abandoned him and his brother when they were children to run off to Mexico to be with her boyfriends, kidnapped them from their father (they were literally on milk cartons). DH is still dealing with the trauma of his upbringing, his little brother became a severe meth addict and committed suicide over ten years ago. She has only met my child once. I agonized a lot over that visit and it went pretty much how I expected it...that was over five years ago and she hasn't been back to my house, which has suited me just fine!
I haven't spoken to her in years. DH told me a couple of years ago that she had changed and wanted to "apologize" to me, but couldn't for the life of her remember what she did to make me so angry (there's too much to go into it now), and I said nope, that wasn't an apology, and when she had a clear memory of the way she had treated me and wanted to be accountable for it, maybe I would reconsider my position. I told him what I really needed was not to have a relationship with her, and he agreed and then a couple years later, finally followed suit after she had a few more psychodramas and proved me right. I've never tried to pressure or convince him to go NC, I knew that was a decision he needed to make on his own, but I fully support his decision to finally cut her off. We almost never talk about her and life is generally peaceful.
Until last night. My phone dings around midnight and there is a text from a number from her state (which thankfully is all the way across the country) and I know immediately from the area code who it is. It says in Spanish "I don't have to prove anything to you," which I find weird because I don't really speak much Spanish and she knows it, and a link to one of those sappy reels, also in Spanish, the gist of which says "let them lose you… you don’t owe it to anybody to explain the great person that you are." Right on brand for her, because nothing is ever her fault. I didn't reply and blocked the number, but then after a night of no sleep, I stewed about it and finally decided to unblock her and go off via text:
"You're absolutely right, MIL! You don't have to prove anything to me. If I ever want to remember what kind of person you are, I only need to think of the last 22 years, my traumatized husband, and my dead brother-in-law. You've done an EXCELLENT job showing me exactly who you are, so please, never trouble yourself about that...I've had your number for years!
What I will never be able to understand is a woman who has managed to alienate her entire family, including her two grandchildren, burn almost every bridge of friendship possible, and yet STILL has convinced herself that she is not the problem. She will literally choose estrangement with her only living son rather than do the necessary work to heal and be accountable for her mistakes. Absolutely anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid admitting that she has behaved like an utter spoiled child and has inflicted terrible harm on the people who loved her the most. That level of obstinate lack of repentance takes some real commitment...quite impressive!
I wish you the best of luck on your desperate quest to remain a perennial victim and convince yourself that we're all crazy and none of it is your fault, ever. I'm sure you'll find an endless supply of TikToks, YouTube videos, Instagram reels, Facebook groups, and self-help books created by your fellow Boomers, so feel free to continue indulging your delusion that you are a wonderful person, but kindly do not ever disrupt my peace again to share with me. I'm simply not interested, and believe me, MIL. I see you. I don't ever need any help from you on that front."
Two decades of trying to be diplomatic, kind, and then silent were enough. I know that none of it will land for her or have no delusions that she'll do any kind of self-reflection, but it felt good to finally say it. And frankly, that's what she gets after waking me up and costing me a night of sleep! #isaidwhatisaid

How should I (31F) respond to my old friend (28F) who hasn’t messaged me in a year?
I 31F have a cousin/friend I grew up with 27F. She had issues with her mom and spent a lot of time with my family growing up. We were very close and have lived together both as children and as adults.
We’ve had a few semi fights, but nothing major until last year. My mom and her got into it big time. I tried staying out of it best I could. I was pregnant and trying to appease them both.
I lost that pregnancy in April last year. My friend asked to come over the next day and I told her I wasn’t ready for company (I had been halfway through that pregnancy and it was my 13th loss in a row). I wasn’t handling it very well and my mom was also visiting. I didn’t want their drama. My friend responded back that she wanted to leave something on my porch, not that she wanted to come in.
That was the last message I received in over a year. I had told her that was fine I just didn’t want company (I wasn’t in a good headspace). She never responded. A few weeks later, I got out of my funk and felt more like myself. I reached out to meet up and again, no response. That same day, she was with our other cousin hanging out just up the road from me. I was upset but figured she’d message me eventually.
She never did. Actually, she deleted me as a friend on Facebook and at some point, blocked me. Fast forward to now and my mom is talking to her again. There was a death in the family and the two of them had to handle things together. So now they’re texting, meeting up for lunch, etc. I’m upset with my mom as well because part of my saying no to her visit last year, was because of my mom. They went to lunch this last Saturday, day before Mother’s Day and the day I was celebrating it. My mom missed out on the lunch my husband made for me, her, and his mother to go hang out with my friend. I was hurt, but that’s another issue.
Last night, Mother’s Day, my friend texted me for the first time to tell me happy Mother’s Day. I didn’t want to be rude and said “thanks, you too” but now she’s messaged again and seems to be trying to start up a conversation. I checked, she’s also unblocked me on FB. I’m not sure if I should ignore her, tell her I’m not interested in talking, explain things and see what she says, or just turn over a new leaf. I should note, I’m pregnant again and I know I’m emotional. So I don’t want to make a rash decision.
It pisses me off that she dropped me after a loss like that. She had just said I could always call her and she’d always be there for me and then stopped speaking to me. No true friend would do that. But we were very close once, have kids the same age, and a part of me wants an explanation. Any advice on what I should do?

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(I made a same post but with the photos of texts that "she" sent to me on my account since all the communities that I want to post don't allow them)
So it's mother's Day and my mom is absent in our lives until "now". I won't go into my whole life story but tl:dr tried her best but made hard by being emotionally unstable, unavailable, and would aid it with alcohol and verbal fights. Ok the reason why we're here. I (elder sibling) got kicked out with my dad in 2021. shit got worse in early 2022 with her in financial. Kicked my second oldest sister out during that time. Mom's mom died later that year in September. Forced the rest of my younger siblings to live with us for no reason after it. Horrible funeral/week due to her shit talking, and has been absent pretty much since then. Sure my younger siblings had the visits every other week but it slowly turned into months and now going into more than half a year. During the months of no visits "she" would text my younger siblings through social media, we come from a foreign family so older family members don't have much of an English grasp (unless its my dad multilingual mf) and "her" messages got more articulated in English grammar, at first it was more noticeable with the emails between my parents with her usual simple and poor one sentences, all of sudden proper English with paragraphs. It took so time after those first emails that the text between my siblings and mom started to look the same as the emails. This may be wrong on our part but we had suspicion that someone else was texting for her, so dad found some new guy that was friends on Facebook with her and when the kids visited her they confirmed that it was the same guy living with her. Dad found the 2 ex-wives (out of 3) of his and found out he's a huge con artist that's not allowed to fly internationally (due to his arrest as a con artist, his visa is stripped.) The new boyfriends plan usually was to meet some hopeless women, have a kid and then get married, then proceeded to lie about needing money for sick family in the USA, at first he was in the USA then left to the CAD after he left his first wife. He proceeded to do that for the rest of them. Currently, he's not allowed to talk to the kids from his first and one of the kids from his third ex-wives, while he still allowed visitation rights for the other one and the one he has with his second ex-wife. You may be wondering why this was included but it's because since dad still talks to the second and third ex-wives, he's found out that mom has been seen her boytoys kids more than her own kids, since he needs a supervisor when he visits his kids. When we found out he was texting for mom, dad emailed them telling him to stop texting to the younger kids as mom or else the cops were going to get involved, he replied showing no means to stop and this had happened in December 2022-Jaurary 2023. Ever since then they stopped trying hide the fact that it was him texting as her, and slowly over time though we had blocked her on all social media platforms. Before we had blocked her though, my oldest younger sister, started texting mom telling her to leave us alone and that, us, as the kids didn't want anything to do with her anymore until she stopped the abusive cycle she's put us all in. During all of that, she was calling the same sister at random times at night which started to affect her mental health really badly and she couldn't go to school cause of it. It got worse when she randomly showed up at my her and my little brothers school doing something with their school information, mom tried saying hi and saying she missed them, which scared my sister more thinking she was going to show up again. She tried telling mom that what she was doing was affecting her really badly, they proceeded to respond in the most foolish way, "thinking" that dad was texting, when my sister was trying to be the most professional she could be in that situation. After that situation, all the siblings blocked mom on everything and mom had previous encounters on social media already, so I kept her unblocked on gmail so I could laugh at the emails she can send, like today. The first email is proof how they would respond when they though it was dad, and the second one is from today and you can see the grammatical difference between the two, which explains our suspicions and why we did what we did. By the way, the reason why we can't do anything to restrict communication between mom and my siblings is because here we have a law where only 15+ can get some sort of a restraining order against someone and the oldest sibling of the youngest is a year or 2 from being able to, and for dad, this all still going through court trials (this why 2022 was shitty to begin with) cause of that, dad's been trying co-operative while mom has been doing the complete opposite, causing the court stuff to drag on. As much as what we're doing isn't the nicest or what you would call supportive but 18+ years of neglect, harm, and deprivation has caused a lot of pain and struggle coming into adulthood and with mom doing these moments still, I feel like I'm getting dragged back into my little self. Every one of my siblings shows their hurt from her in their different ways but not gonna lie with these months of no communication with mom, I've seen my family grow into people we should've been growing up with her, I don't have my old habits like tiptoeing everytime, everyday just for talk or food, or having to blust music 24/7 into headphones because she'd always scream at anyone for doing something wrong, we joke without worrying about someone commenting negative, we can play and rough house without yelling, we can be loud without someone screaming to shut the hell up, we can do our chores whenever we can, not being screamed at to do it at this moment. There's been ups and downs with our growth but this is a lot better than being not human living with her.
This year's mother's Day hasn't been pleasant, but I do enjoy the company of my grandma's, alive and dead. Happy mother's Day.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lolfuckno.
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:

• they've had to rebook three times because venues and vendors kept cancelling when infection numbers got worse even thought their wedding was months away
• Beth has been flipping between having the wedding while she's pregnant saying she's proud of her bump, and wanting to wait until they're born because she feels fat, which is unfortunate because she's been breaking down due her insecurity on a public platform
• Beth is currently seven months pregnant
• Beth's great aunt was going to give her her wedding dress to wear (after she gives birth) but Beth's mom freaked and stole the dress from said aunt before Beth could get it and is now keeping it, the great aunt says she's too old to get in a fight and has shrugged it off
• Chad's immediate family is paying for the wedding and has been cut off by the rest of their extended family for 'choosing Chad'
• Beth's wedding colours are pink and green, which is usually a nice combo but the specific shades don't go great together, they're her and Chad's favourite colours, which is fine but she literally made a video talking about these colours for 14 minutes on her insta and both of her kids are just full on bawling in the background and she's ignoring them and she's gotten some flack for that
• Adam is finally settled into his trade and has now hired a lawyer and is trying to get primary custody and not allow his daughter to go to the wedding
• she's planning a zoom baby showebachelorette party and has sent out a registry and she's asking for crazy expensive things
• she's also set up a go fund me to help pay for a honeymoon and is making a lot of posts about how no one loves her cause the fund only has $1267 of the $20k she wanted

I'll update when I can but I'm still in school and while I do want to help her, she's refused help offered in the past and there's only so much of this I can take mentally right now.
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UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;

• all women must wear heels (for a wedding in the beach???)
• no one is allowed to have a baby or be pregnant (really?)
• girls must have longer than shoulder length hair, boys must have very short hair, only and inch or two long
• no one is allowed to be skinnier than her
• she will be providing diets for everyone attending based on how she wants us to look
• she and Chad must get bachelor and bachelorette parties both in Canada and in Mexico that need to be "fit for a king and queen" and both must be paid for but anyone but the bride and groom "cause that's just tacky"
• no unnatural hair
• no tattoos (you have five tattoos, Beth, and in the dress you want all will be on full display)
• no one is allowed to talk to her directly, they must speak through the MOH and BM

Honestly there's a lot more but I didn't feel like typing all that out. She's posted the list on FB and IG and people are already calling her a bridezilla.
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.

• Baby A is still with Adam, Beth signed away her rights
• Baby B and Baby C have been given to a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad who is infertile (tbh I didn't need that last tidbit of info or the three paragraph long rant about how God hates infertile women, I didn't even read all of it, I couldn't, and I didn't think that Beth could be so cruel to even think those things). I checked out the FB page of Baby B's grandparents and they're happy with their grandchild's new parents, it looks like the cousin and her husband and welcoming them to the family as another set of grandparents and will let them have access to B. So yay!
• One thing I do need to stress though is that because of COVID the courts in our areas are either moving at a snail's pace or closed, so none of this is "official" but Beth (and Chad) has signed paperwork and all that needs to happen now is presenting that to a judge.

And when I rejoined our convo she said the doc she had for baby C gave her brith control, and she was surprised cause after her first pregnancy she asked her doctor for it but he refused to give her any. She mentioned that her old doctor was also her mom's and sister's doctor, she ended up asking the doc who delivered baby C to be her new doctor, so I hope that works out.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
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I'm not the OOP!

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So me and my ex ended our relationship in October time, I ended it due to how he was acting. In December he blocked me everywhere the day after saying he loves me, he also text my mother saying he loves me and wants me back, and I respected that he needed space but he gave me zero explanation as when we finished he still wanted to stay friends. But since then he’s came back every month reaching out to my family asking how I am. Eventually he unblocked me so I text him asking what he wanted. He told me that he wants to fix things so I agreed to meet him, he didn’t make plans to when and where so it never happened, he told me there’s nothing more he wants then to fix what we had. But then the next day text me saying he can’t be friends as we’ve been through too much. But then continued talking and said it’s best we don’t talk because it won’t work, I said I respect that if you truly want then then replied saying he doesn’t know what he wants. For the last few weeks we’ve spoken every day, just small talk. But I just don’t know whether to tell him how I still feel about him or if he’s just manipulating me. He has me unblocked on instagram but blocked everywhere else, and has kept some of my family but not others. He kept adding and unadding my mother on Facebook, when she accepted him to see what was up, he blocked her. I don’t know if he’s unsure on how I feel so doesn’t want to open up to me or is just playing games.
Any insight from a males perspective would be great. I am a psychology student so behaviour fascinates me and I am interested in this stuff, but when it’s about myself bias takes over, obviously there are some clear signs of somebody not being over you and so on, but I can’t understand him. I feel like he isn’t over me and wanted to test the waters but keep his options open. I appreciate it if you take the time to read this or offer some advice, thank you.

Children under the age of 14 will be banned from holding social media accounts such as Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat, Instagram and X under Australia-first legislation that could be proposed by Premier Peter Malinauskas. Mr Malinauskas said he was motivated by growing evidence that social media is harming children’s mental health.
“There has been a massive spike in mental health issues globally, and it seems to coincide at the exact same time that we saw the proliferation of social media on handheld devices with front facing cameras and I don’t think that’s a coincidence,’’ he said. Mr Malinauskas, a father-of-four, said he was concerned about the world his children were growing up in. “As a parent, this is something that worries us and our eldest has just turned nine,’’ he said. “The idea that such a young mind could be exposed to excessive adult themes when they’re just understanding their place in the world is concerning.’’
Mr Malinauskas has appointed Robert French, former Chief Justice of the High Court, to examine whether it’s feasible for the state government to ban children under 14 from holding social media accounts and for parental consent to be given for children who are 14 and 15. Mr French will examine legislative, technological and constitutional issues that could arise from such a ban.
Currently, social media platforms including TikTok, X, Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram require users to be at least 13 to start an account, but the limit is not well-policed and it is believed many children younger than the minimum age have signed up. “I don’t think there’s much evidence of robust enforcement or application and age verification on the internet is tricky. But we’re going to have to crack this nut,’’ Mr Malinauskas said.
It is not known how many children under 14 have social media accounts, but a 2021 report by the eSafety commissioner found that 12-13 year olds used an average of 3.1 social media services. It found 42 per cent of 12-13 year olds used Facebook, 39 per cent used Instagram, 26 per cent were on Snapchat and 66 per cent on YouTube. It is believed those numbers would have grown since 2021, in part driven by habits learned during Covid lockdowns.

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