Frame purse patterns free
A game a week
2014.03.12 00:18 philipes A game a week
Creating one game per week.
2024.05.14 04:16 Ilyelyel Stability issues on games - Did I troubleshoot correctly ?
Video games performance issues, why and what to take ?
Hello all, For context: My PC is in a weird state, as it's quite old and I've been barely upgrading it in the past years due to financial priorities. But the time has come for me to finally make my pc more balanced, and get rid of the stuttering, input lags and 1% lows that really can make a difference in high ranks competitive games. Example of games I play regularly: CS2, Apex Legends, Valorant, Battlefield 2042. I'm top 1-3% in all the games including ranks that I mentionned. I really value smoothness, and want a smooth 144fps experience on all those games. I don't care about playing in ultra settings as I prioritize visibility in games. [Which most of the time require low-medium settings] Maybe good to mention, but I am currently always below 100fps on BF2042, which I find frustrating and noticeable, with big frame drops when things get very heated.
Here are my current specs:
Motherboard: Asus TUF Z390M-pro gaming GPU: RTX 3060 12GB CPU: i7 9700k RAM: 2x8gb 2133MhZ OS: Windows 10
One big issue that surely plays a big part in my current performance problems is the ssd on which my OS has been installed. My SSD only has 120gb. Don't ask me why the hell I have that, SSD's were expensive at the time and my brother gave it and installed it for me when I was too young to know that there is a difference between ssd and hdd. Nowadays, with all the drivers, the OS and its updates, and with the bare minimum of softwares installed and all game saves moved out, I struggle to even have 4gb of free storage left on that disk... Of course, since then, I got new ssd's with several tb's on which all my games and software not requiring my OS drive are installed. And don't worry, I already plan to move my OS to a NVMe gen3 SSD, which I will receive 2 days after this post.
However, I know that even in the days when I still had +40gb left in my os drive storage, I still experienced stuttering to a similar level, so I'm quite pessimistic on the improvement this will bring. Except for Battlefield, I don't think the games mentioned really need a lot of performance, so I assume that my GPU and CPU are good enough and not bottlenecking, and are not the cause.
I think that the only culprit left, after storage, is my RAM. Although 16gb is enough, 2133mhz seems very low compared to today's standards. That's where I am uncertain of what to do. Could my performance issues be originating from my RAM speed ? Should I invest into new RAM sticks ? I have seen benchmarks for 2x8gb 3600mhz cl16's, and I am getting pretty convinced, but I am worried of spending money on it just to still face stuttering afterwards... but I have seen that a fast RAM can make a big difference for 1%lows, so I'm hesitant.
And the reason why I post is this, I need some advice: would a RAM upgrade improve my performance stability noticeable ? If yes, what RAM speed and timings would you recommend for maximum stability and performance with my current specs ? My understanding is that cl16 3200mhz/3600mhz would be what to aim for. Is that correct ?
TLDR: I play competitive games and experience performance stability issues. I will soon upgrade the ssd on which my os is installed, which was very bad, but I'm worried that I will still have performance issues. I don't trust my RAM speed to be enough, and need advice on what would be the best speed and timing for stability with my specs, and if that would make a big impact on my stability.
Thank you!
submitted by Ilyelyel to PcBuild [link] [comments]
Hello all, For context: My PC is in a weird state, as it's quite old and I've been barely upgrading it in the past years due to financial priorities. But the time has come for me to finally make my pc more balanced, and get rid of the stuttering, input lags and 1% lows that really can make a difference in high ranks competitive games. Example of games I play regularly: CS2, Apex Legends, Valorant, Battlefield 2042. I'm top 1-3% in all the games including ranks that I mentionned. I really value smoothness, and want a smooth 144fps experience on all those games. I don't care about playing in ultra settings as I prioritize visibility in games. [Which most of the time require low-medium settings] Maybe good to mention, but I am currently always below 100fps on BF2042, which I find frustrating and noticeable, with big frame drops when things get very heated.
Here are my current specs:
Motherboard: Asus TUF Z390M-pro gaming GPU: RTX 3060 12GB CPU: i7 9700k RAM: 2x8gb 2133MhZ OS: Windows 10
One big issue that surely plays a big part in my current performance problems is the ssd on which my OS has been installed. My SSD only has 120gb. Don't ask me why the hell I have that, SSD's were expensive at the time and my brother gave it and installed it for me when I was too young to know that there is a difference between ssd and hdd. Nowadays, with all the drivers, the OS and its updates, and with the bare minimum of softwares installed and all game saves moved out, I struggle to even have 4gb of free storage left on that disk... Of course, since then, I got new ssd's with several tb's on which all my games and software not requiring my OS drive are installed. And don't worry, I already plan to move my OS to a NVMe gen3 SSD, which I will receive 2 days after this post.
However, I know that even in the days when I still had +40gb left in my os drive storage, I still experienced stuttering to a similar level, so I'm quite pessimistic on the improvement this will bring. Except for Battlefield, I don't think the games mentioned really need a lot of performance, so I assume that my GPU and CPU are good enough and not bottlenecking, and are not the cause.
I think that the only culprit left, after storage, is my RAM. Although 16gb is enough, 2133mhz seems very low compared to today's standards. That's where I am uncertain of what to do. Could my performance issues be originating from my RAM speed ? Should I invest into new RAM sticks ? I have seen benchmarks for 2x8gb 3600mhz cl16's, and I am getting pretty convinced, but I am worried of spending money on it just to still face stuttering afterwards... but I have seen that a fast RAM can make a big difference for 1%lows, so I'm hesitant.
And the reason why I post is this, I need some advice: would a RAM upgrade improve my performance stability noticeable ? If yes, what RAM speed and timings would you recommend for maximum stability and performance with my current specs ? My understanding is that cl16 3200mhz/3600mhz would be what to aim for. Is that correct ?
TLDR: I play competitive games and experience performance stability issues. I will soon upgrade the ssd on which my os is installed, which was very bad, but I'm worried that I will still have performance issues. I don't trust my RAM speed to be enough, and need advice on what would be the best speed and timing for stability with my specs, and if that would make a big impact on my stability.
Thank you!
2024.05.14 04:13 randomperson17723 Help my girlfriend not get scammed by Secure Data
Girlfriend's 4 TB drive failed (soft buzzing or ticking sound) literally 20 minutes before she left to catch a flight overseas, so a well meaning family member took it to a "local specialist" for diagnostics, which of course was just a shill for securedatarecovery.com. They won the family member over with the "no risk, free" diagnosis and it was shipped to their lab (my girlfriend obviously signed the paperwork remotely, but wasn't in a position to do her due diligence).
When she returned, she read about Secure Data's shady practices, but it was too late. In the interim, they sent her the following diagnosis:
Failure Types: - Errors : Slow Read - Reallocation Errors - Errors : Read Errors - Mechanical : Failed Read/Write Heads
Make: Western Digital Model: WD40EDAZ-11SLVB0
Device Capacity: 4000 GB
After realizing that Secure Data Recovery engages in bait and switch tactics (naturally, her quote was on the higher end of what they promised), she wanted to get the drive back and work with a more reputable company instead. But she is also afraid that Secure Data will sabotage the drive (as per other posts on this subreddit), so she gave them the whole "not in a financial position currently to pay and would like the drive back until I save up enough to use your services in the future" spiel.
They countered that they would be willing to go as low as $1000 + $88 for a 1 tb drive (the salesperson failed to notice that she submitted a 4 TB drive!) + $38 shipping on the condition that she submit favorable reviews (BBB and Google), including a video testimonial PRIOR to them shipping her data back.
She has many concerns, including their requirement to pre-authorize the $1000 (they claim they won't charge her until the job is complete, but what if they suddenly come up with new reasons why the data is unrecoverable?), how does she even verify that the recovery was successful, how does she prevent more extortion, etc?
They also haven't given her a time frame, stating that it "will be worked on during off-peak hours in order to allow for this adjustment".
She is unsure how to respond. She really just wants the drive back because this job shouldn't cost more than 1k (assuming that it is a matter of replacing the heads via a donor drive) and she no longer trusts them, but is still afraid of what they might do to her drive if she declines.
submitted by randomperson17723 to datarecovery [link] [comments]
When she returned, she read about Secure Data's shady practices, but it was too late. In the interim, they sent her the following diagnosis:
Failure Types: - Errors : Slow Read - Reallocation Errors - Errors : Read Errors - Mechanical : Failed Read/Write Heads
Make: Western Digital Model: WD40EDAZ-11SLVB0
Device Capacity: 4000 GB
After realizing that Secure Data Recovery engages in bait and switch tactics (naturally, her quote was on the higher end of what they promised), she wanted to get the drive back and work with a more reputable company instead. But she is also afraid that Secure Data will sabotage the drive (as per other posts on this subreddit), so she gave them the whole "not in a financial position currently to pay and would like the drive back until I save up enough to use your services in the future" spiel.
They countered that they would be willing to go as low as $1000 + $88 for a 1 tb drive (the salesperson failed to notice that she submitted a 4 TB drive!) + $38 shipping on the condition that she submit favorable reviews (BBB and Google), including a video testimonial PRIOR to them shipping her data back.
She has many concerns, including their requirement to pre-authorize the $1000 (they claim they won't charge her until the job is complete, but what if they suddenly come up with new reasons why the data is unrecoverable?), how does she even verify that the recovery was successful, how does she prevent more extortion, etc?
They also haven't given her a time frame, stating that it "will be worked on during off-peak hours in order to allow for this adjustment".
She is unsure how to respond. She really just wants the drive back because this job shouldn't cost more than 1k (assuming that it is a matter of replacing the heads via a donor drive) and she no longer trusts them, but is still afraid of what they might do to her drive if she declines.
2024.05.14 04:02 Bochai127 $1259 -$200Q THSUPER 104'' Microfiber Sectional Sleeper Sofa with Pull Out Bed and Storage Chaise Ottoman, L Shaped Sectional Couch with Adjustable Headrest and Stools for Living Room - Brown
 | https://amzn.to/3yu3lBa 4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars submitted by Bochai127 to AmazonDealsSavers [link] [comments] Durable & Sophisticated: Crafted with a sturdy wood frame, stable block legs, and draped in a chic grey microfiber upholstery, offering both durability and a modern aesthetic appeal.
https://preview.redd.it/tfsvwxffta0d1.png?width=1500&format=png&auto=webp&s=7fa5e460454d43febf1989a1af81d7458b30e00d https://preview.redd.it/6w4gc1agta0d1.png?width=1500&format=png&auto=webp&s=855e1ea0a257a1e56d9277d619b98880987b748f |
2024.05.14 04:00 DavidDawnDeluxe When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether!
Hi, David here!
Everyone has flaws and imperfections, either physically or personality wise.
Don’t get hung up on things about yourself which may be unalterable.
Don’t always be trying to overtly hide such flaws. The insecurity shown when trying to hide a fault often comes off as being way less attractive than the actual fault itself.
Obsessively trying to hide a fault highlights a person’s insecurity and shows low self-confidence.
In the cases where the fault could potentially have an impact on your performance, it’s often much more effective to directly address the issue upfront, and call out the elephant in the room as it were.
But for the scenarios where the fault is inconsequential, you could choose to address it instead in a more nonchalant manner. If the fault does not matter to you, why should it matter to other people?
You can joke about your flaws, but do not do so in a self-deprecating kind of way. If you joke about yourself in a self-deprecating kind of way, then you are probably hoping that people will laugh with you instead of just at you. And while perhaps funny, this does not make you look attractive.
However, being able to openly joke about yourself in such a way that you are not simply searching for approval from others, shows that you are truly comfortable with who you are.
You can also re-frame a fault as a positive.
Being overly defensive or qualifying oneself let’s someone know that they have successfully accomplished getting under your skin, which may have been their very intention. Completely ignoring such remarks or either responding nonchalantly or with a joke is often a much better response.
There are actually many benefits to having flaws:
When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether.
Especially if the flaw is physical. Internal confidence is a way more attractive than some external superficial flaw.
If the flaw is blatantly obvious, and yet you conduct yourself as if it has no drastic effect on your self-worth, it shows great self-confidence.
Similarly, if others try to actively attack you over a flaw, but you remain nonreactive, confident and well-grounded despite their provocations, you can come off looking even better than before.
Faults can also allow other people to find you more accessible and relatable. People can’t identify and connect well with others who appear perfect.
And finally, learning to overcome certain shortcoming in life is what allows you to build resourcefulness, character and work ethic.
Adding to that, I just finished putting together my dating eBook "How to Date Any Girl" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
The eBook is 27 pages long and gives you a practical step-by-step solution to meeting women (15+ years of knowledge put into it).
You can get the eBook by clicking here!
This book is the result of going out and socializing with girls for over a decade. I have put in there all the fundamentals I have learned over that time so I would really appreciate all the feedback I could get!!
What are your thoughts? Do you have any tips to add?
Let's discuss in the comments :)
Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
Coach David
submitted by DavidDawnDeluxe to PickUpArtist [link] [comments]
Everyone has flaws and imperfections, either physically or personality wise.
Don’t get hung up on things about yourself which may be unalterable.
Don’t always be trying to overtly hide such flaws. The insecurity shown when trying to hide a fault often comes off as being way less attractive than the actual fault itself.
Obsessively trying to hide a fault highlights a person’s insecurity and shows low self-confidence.
In the cases where the fault could potentially have an impact on your performance, it’s often much more effective to directly address the issue upfront, and call out the elephant in the room as it were.
But for the scenarios where the fault is inconsequential, you could choose to address it instead in a more nonchalant manner. If the fault does not matter to you, why should it matter to other people?
You can joke about your flaws, but do not do so in a self-deprecating kind of way. If you joke about yourself in a self-deprecating kind of way, then you are probably hoping that people will laugh with you instead of just at you. And while perhaps funny, this does not make you look attractive.
However, being able to openly joke about yourself in such a way that you are not simply searching for approval from others, shows that you are truly comfortable with who you are.
You can also re-frame a fault as a positive.
Being overly defensive or qualifying oneself let’s someone know that they have successfully accomplished getting under your skin, which may have been their very intention. Completely ignoring such remarks or either responding nonchalantly or with a joke is often a much better response.
There are actually many benefits to having flaws:
When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether.
Especially if the flaw is physical. Internal confidence is a way more attractive than some external superficial flaw.
If the flaw is blatantly obvious, and yet you conduct yourself as if it has no drastic effect on your self-worth, it shows great self-confidence.
Similarly, if others try to actively attack you over a flaw, but you remain nonreactive, confident and well-grounded despite their provocations, you can come off looking even better than before.
Faults can also allow other people to find you more accessible and relatable. People can’t identify and connect well with others who appear perfect.
And finally, learning to overcome certain shortcoming in life is what allows you to build resourcefulness, character and work ethic.
Adding to that, I just finished putting together my dating eBook "How to Date Any Girl" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
The eBook is 27 pages long and gives you a practical step-by-step solution to meeting women (15+ years of knowledge put into it).
You can get the eBook by clicking here!
This book is the result of going out and socializing with girls for over a decade. I have put in there all the fundamentals I have learned over that time so I would really appreciate all the feedback I could get!!
What are your thoughts? Do you have any tips to add?
Let's discuss in the comments :)
Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
Coach David
2024.05.14 03:59 Ilyelyel Video games performance issues, why and what to take ?
Hello all, For context: My PC is in a weird state, as it's quite old and I've been barely upgrading it in the past years due to financial priorities. But the time has come for me to finally make my pc more balanced, and get rid of the stuttering, input lags and 1% lows that really can make a difference in high ranks competitive games. Example of games I play regularly: CS2, Apex Legends, Valorant, Battlefield 2042. I'm top 1-3% in all the games including ranks that I mentionned. I really value smoothness, and want a smooth 144fps experience on all those games. I don't care about playing in ultra settings as I prioritize visibility in games. [Which most of the time require low-medium settings] Maybe good to mention, but I am currently always below 100fps on BF2042, which I find frustrating and noticeable, with big frame drops when things get very heated.
Here are my current specs:
Motherboard: Asus TUF Z390M-pro gaming GPU: RTX 3060 12GB CPU: i7 9700k RAM: 2x8gb 2133MhZ OS: Windows 10
One big issue that surely plays a big part in my current performance problems is the ssd on which my OS has been installed. My SSD only has 120gb. Don't ask me why the hell I have that, SSD's were expensive at the time and my brother gave it and installed it for me when I was too young to know that there is a difference between ssd and hdd. Nowadays, with all the drivers, the OS and its updates, and with the bare minimum of softwares installed and all game saves moved out, I struggle to even have 4gb of free storage left on that disk... Of course, since then, I got new ssd's with several tb's on which all my games and software not requiring my OS drive are installed. And don't worry, I already plan to move my OS to a NVMe gen3 SSD, which I will receive 2 days after this post.
However, I know that even in the days when I still had +40gb left in my os drive storage, I still experienced stuttering to a similar level, so I'm quite pessimistic on the improvement this will bring. Except for Battlefield, I don't think the games mentioned really need a lot of performance, so I assume that my GPU and CPU are good enough and not bottlenecking, and are not the cause.
I think that the only culprit left, after storage, is my RAM. Although 16gb is enough, 2133mhz seems very low compared to today's standards. That's where I am uncertain of what to do. Could my performance issues be originating from my RAM speed ? Should I invest into new RAM sticks ? I have seen benchmarks for 2x8gb 3600mhz cl16's, and I am getting pretty convinced, but I am worried of spending money on it just to still face stuttering afterwards... but I have seen that a fast RAM can make a big difference for 1%lows, so I'm hesitant.
And the reason why I post is this, I need some advice: would a RAM upgrade improve my performance stability noticeable ? If yes, what RAM speed and timings would you recommend for maximum stability and performance with my current specs ? My understanding is that cl16 3200mhz/3600mhz would be what to aim for. Is that correct ?
TLDR: I play competitive games and experience performance stability issues. I will soon upgrade the ssd on which my os is installed, which was very bad, but I'm worried that I will still have performance issues. I don't trust my RAM speed to be enough, and need advice on what would be the best speed and timing for stability with my specs, and if that would make a big impact on my stability.
Thank you!
submitted by Ilyelyel to PcBuildHelp [link] [comments]
Here are my current specs:
Motherboard: Asus TUF Z390M-pro gaming GPU: RTX 3060 12GB CPU: i7 9700k RAM: 2x8gb 2133MhZ OS: Windows 10
One big issue that surely plays a big part in my current performance problems is the ssd on which my OS has been installed. My SSD only has 120gb. Don't ask me why the hell I have that, SSD's were expensive at the time and my brother gave it and installed it for me when I was too young to know that there is a difference between ssd and hdd. Nowadays, with all the drivers, the OS and its updates, and with the bare minimum of softwares installed and all game saves moved out, I struggle to even have 4gb of free storage left on that disk... Of course, since then, I got new ssd's with several tb's on which all my games and software not requiring my OS drive are installed. And don't worry, I already plan to move my OS to a NVMe gen3 SSD, which I will receive 2 days after this post.
However, I know that even in the days when I still had +40gb left in my os drive storage, I still experienced stuttering to a similar level, so I'm quite pessimistic on the improvement this will bring. Except for Battlefield, I don't think the games mentioned really need a lot of performance, so I assume that my GPU and CPU are good enough and not bottlenecking, and are not the cause.
I think that the only culprit left, after storage, is my RAM. Although 16gb is enough, 2133mhz seems very low compared to today's standards. That's where I am uncertain of what to do. Could my performance issues be originating from my RAM speed ? Should I invest into new RAM sticks ? I have seen benchmarks for 2x8gb 3600mhz cl16's, and I am getting pretty convinced, but I am worried of spending money on it just to still face stuttering afterwards... but I have seen that a fast RAM can make a big difference for 1%lows, so I'm hesitant.
And the reason why I post is this, I need some advice: would a RAM upgrade improve my performance stability noticeable ? If yes, what RAM speed and timings would you recommend for maximum stability and performance with my current specs ? My understanding is that cl16 3200mhz/3600mhz would be what to aim for. Is that correct ?
TLDR: I play competitive games and experience performance stability issues. I will soon upgrade the ssd on which my os is installed, which was very bad, but I'm worried that I will still have performance issues. I don't trust my RAM speed to be enough, and need advice on what would be the best speed and timing for stability with my specs, and if that would make a big impact on my stability.
Thank you!
2024.05.14 03:56 CroFishCrafter Latest project - second project bag
 | Just finished up this project bag. submitted by CroFishCrafter to crochet [link] [comments] Relatively simple, BLO with drawstrings. The original plans suggested a ribbon or rope, so I decided to crochet an i-cord. I used this pattern with 3 skeins of this yarn. |
2024.05.14 03:52 ALapsedPacifist Asymmetric Observations
It's a little too late in the current round of asymmetric battles for this to be a guide, but I've played a lot of the mode lately and I've observed some patterns, both in the AI and in the players. A lot of these things are probably also true of other game modes, but the consequences of poor play in asymmetric are much more immediately felt.
submitted by ALapsedPacifist to WorldOfWarships [link] [comments]
- Battleship players, if you spawn on the right flank of Neighbors and you drive into the open water in the middle of the map, you're trying to throw the match. That trio of islands on that flank is perfect for you, especially if you have good secondaries. You can go in there and kill the 2-4 ships that charge in, and then point your bow through the gap to shoot the broadsides of ships charging through the middle of the map.
- Your spawn buddy is your lifeline, and you are theirs. If you spawn on the flank with another ship, stick with them as much as possible. Bots win through focus fire, but they won't focus the same target forever, especially if you're both presenting unattractive bow-on targets. If you turn away from the fight in open water, you get focused. If you turn away behind an island, your buddy gets focused.
- Bots don't launch their torps from maximum range, and they're more obvious about it than players in randoms. If you see a torpedo boat show its broadside to you, you have torps coming at you. It seems like a lot of them prefer wide spreads to narrow ones, so dodging them usually isn't an issue if you're presenting your bow or stern.
- Tier VI submarines do really well in this mode, since they get to fight tier IV ships that have no ASW to speak of. In one match I played at this tier, the submarine player got 6 kills and carried us to victory solo after the rest of us died.
- The player in the supership is a liability. The player in a DD or a submarine is an underdog, but still an asset.
- The bots all charge on domination maps, but usually two or three battleships (plus the CV, if there is one) will hang back on standard battles.
- A "circle the wagons" approach works on standard battles, provided everyone stays close enough to the green cap circle to get shot at by the oncoming enemies. Showing five targets keeps the enemy focus shifting around. Showing one target gets it killed.
- Even if you're not in a BB, it's worth taking shots at the bows of incoming ships with AP—at a two- or three-tier advantage, you might overmatch some of them. (Obviously switch ammo or targets if you get ricochets.)
- Two cruisers in a division is worth a battleship and a half.
- It doesn't matter what tier you are; Vladivostok and Nagato are not to be trifled with.
2024.05.14 03:52 pineapplekid8 On to the next!
 | Not sure what possessed me but here goes! I definitely f’ed up by not completing the frames on the edges - at least I caught it on block three and can adjust from now on. Also, I intentionally started with the bottom row as it’s my least favorite fabrics and I won’t feel as bad scrapping this and adding another to the top if necessary! This is going to be a LABOR of a project! So far it’s been a complete scrap/stash quilt. submitted by pineapplekid8 to quilting [link] [comments] Swipe for some in process photos (so that I remember placement after chain piecing 😅) and the pattern design I’m after! |
2024.05.14 03:31 relationshipguy254 Leaving a Toxic Relationship: Is it Okay to End a Toxic Relationship via Text?
I've seen people ask this question, wondering what is the best way to really end a relationship with a toxic person? They might be verbally abusive, even have some bit of physical violence to it. So you are contemplating, like what's the best way to end the relationship? Actually... It's very OK to end the relationship with a text or even. This is because when it comes to ending a relationship with a toxic person, the only priority is your safety.
Forget about everything else. Forget about morality because some people may advise you that it's not good to end these things via text or it's not good just to leave like that. Actually the best way is even just ending it even without telling them, just leaving and going. But if you want to end it by text then it's very okay. Just keep it as a simple closed-ended text which doesn't really open up lines of communication.
It's very okay to end the relationship with a text because with a text you are prioritizing your safety and do not end with a text when you are still with them, just be far away from them because something about toxic people is they won't really take it lightly when you reject them.
They might erupt with rage, they might feel so angered at times they may get violent as they are afraid of being abandoned or being rejected. So for your own safety, if you really want to break up with them via text, just do it, but be far away from them as far as possible.
Don't get too hung up on societal rules like "oh, it's not proper." In reality, when someone starts mistreating you or using you for their own gain, any sense of morality went out the window long ago. Ending things via text might make you feel guilty, but don't let that cloud your judgment. Being in such relationships already messes with your emotions and your ability to make sound judgments because you've been through a lot—you've been treated poorly, insulted, and called all sorts of names.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.
submitted by relationshipguy254 to healfromabuse [link] [comments]
Forget about everything else. Forget about morality because some people may advise you that it's not good to end these things via text or it's not good just to leave like that. Actually the best way is even just ending it even without telling them, just leaving and going. But if you want to end it by text then it's very okay. Just keep it as a simple closed-ended text which doesn't really open up lines of communication.
It's very okay to end the relationship with a text because with a text you are prioritizing your safety and do not end with a text when you are still with them, just be far away from them because something about toxic people is they won't really take it lightly when you reject them.
They might erupt with rage, they might feel so angered at times they may get violent as they are afraid of being abandoned or being rejected. So for your own safety, if you really want to break up with them via text, just do it, but be far away from them as far as possible.
Don't get too hung up on societal rules like "oh, it's not proper." In reality, when someone starts mistreating you or using you for their own gain, any sense of morality went out the window long ago. Ending things via text might make you feel guilty, but don't let that cloud your judgment. Being in such relationships already messes with your emotions and your ability to make sound judgments because you've been through a lot—you've been treated poorly, insulted, and called all sorts of names.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.
2024.05.14 03:28 peachpandarodriguez4 What are the Best Gifts for Dads for Fathers day Birthdays and Special Days?
I have decided to come up with a list of Amazing Gifts Ideas for Dad's and fathers.
Most of these are Sold on https://Amazon.com FREE Shipping So here is the List.
I recommend the following top items personally
Massage/Relaxation Gifts:
submitted by peachpandarodriguez4 to ConsumerAdvice [link] [comments]
Most of these are Sold on https://Amazon.com FREE Shipping So here is the List.
I recommend the following top items personally
- Leg Messager
- Picture Frame for memories
- A Tool Rack.
- Michael Kors Watch.
Massage/Relaxation Gifts:
- MOUNTRAX Foot Massager Machine with Heat
- UMARMUNG Leg Massager with Heat
- RENPHO Eyeris 1 Eye Massager with Heat
- Gifts for Dad Mom Men Women Christmas Mother Day Father Day, Air Compression Massager with Heat
- COMFIER Shiatsu Neck Back Massager with Heat
- ALLJOY Cordless Neck Massager with Heat
- Snailax Back Massager for Back Pain with Heat
- Canupdog 10.1 WiFi Digital Picture Frame
- Gifts for Men Dad Husband, PU Leather Wireless Charging Station and Valet Tray
- ANERIMST Outdoor Bluetooth Speakers with Torch Flame Light
- Novium Hoverpen 2.0 Interstellar Edition Ballpoint Pen
- VFZO Temperature Control Smart Mug
- 2win Engraved Wooden Watch
- CCCEI Modular Power Tool Organizer Wall Mount with Charging Station
- KingTool 325 Piece Home Repair Tool Kit
- CCCEI Power Tool Organizer Cart with Charging Station
- Kitchen perfection Handmade Meat Cleaver Knife
- Hey Dude Mens Wally Sox
- Fossil Nate Men's Chronograph Watch
- Michael Kors Oversized Slim Runway Men's Watch
- Carhartt Men's Rain Defender Quarter-Zip Sweatshirt
- UGG Men's Scuff Logo Slipper
- Dan's Gourmet Gift Basket - Sausage, Cheese, Chocolate
- Ultimate Jerky Lover's Gift Box
- Personalized Whiskey Decanter and Stones Set
- Cooking Gift Set Co. Wood Smoked BBQ Grill Set
- CASABREWS Espresso Machine
- LEGO Star Wars/Harry Potter Building Sets
- 2024 Dad Jokes Boxed Calendar
- Golf Practice Net
- Ufree Professional Hair Clippers for Men
- Condolences Gift Basket for Loss
- Grillbot Grill Cleaning Robot
2024.05.14 03:23 CasualHooligan7 Trying to recreate some of the FNaF minigames as what they'd actually look like on an Atari but I need some help
 | I've been using this guide as a... well, guide for the most part and also been looking up playthroughs of various Atari games. Though I'm mostly having trouble with how I should be recreating certain objects. submitted by CasualHooligan7 to Atari2600 [link] [comments] This is a scene from the Foxy minigame from FNaF 2: https://preview.redd.it/dbj9nw17ia0d1.png?width=713&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddd3049c7702dc3171a4f9415c4ac85beb45fc1e And this is my "accurate" recreation of it: https://preview.redd.it/axvnhiriia0d1.png?width=576&format=png&auto=webp&s=49b90e8bd76d3d11a60d2e8e8937ec4facf8d8cf I know the Atari could upscale sprites so the Purple Guy and Foxy sprites here are twice their size since they originally looked too small. I'm not sure if the curtains are accurate though. If I'm understanding the guide correctly, the border and curtains would be made of "playfield" objects, which have to be the same color per row. That means I can't make the curtains striped like in the original, right? And I also can't make them a different color than the border without also affecting the border, right? Now here's the Purple Guy minigame from FNaF 3: https://preview.redd.it/pp0t55m0ka0d1.png?width=952&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e3d83401799e1d80c6ac812100e5e1fb7c2f47e And here's my recreation: https://preview.redd.it/duiosejpka0d1.png?width=576&format=png&auto=webp&s=8495298916d7e26bc90b9696b76c74b1c3b165c2 Again, Purple Guy and the Springtrap suit (the yellow thing) are upscaled 2x since they originally looked too small. The background can only be one color so I can't have the checkerboard pattern floor. Since the arcade cabinets (the three things at the top left) would, I assume, be made of playfield objects, I don't know if they have to be the same color as the border walls, or if I'd be allowed to make them more detailed like this: https://preview.redd.it/5rc59lhzka0d1.png?width=576&format=png&auto=webp&s=697d2788352c8c2323c10612cb4e2c43ce38d2fa The guide seems kinda vague at parts, like The background color generally stays the same per row.The "generally" part throws me off, are these elements restricted like this or can the restrictions be broken in actual Atari games? Can I have player sprites more than 8 pixels wide? Feel free to point out any other errors I might've made in my recreations. |
2024.05.14 03:19 NomadicManiac_x [S] [USA-WV] Voigtlander bessa r2 black with trigger winder. Voigtlander bessa r2 olive with black trigger winder and manual
I've recently acquired two voigtlander bessa r2's and just want the lenses they came with. They're both in great condition with working light meters. ALL shutter speeds fire correctly. Beautiful illumination of the framing lines through the viewfinder. I've always had their lenses on them so I ordered a body cap to ship with them.
Camera Specifications:
Shutter Speed: 1sec-1/2000sec
Lens Mount: M Mount
Frame Lines: 75mm, 35mm & 90mm, 50mm
ISO Range: 25-3200
Batteries Required: x2 LR44 Cells (not included)
BLACK bessa r2 https://imgur.com/a/oN17ACd Asking: $850 shipped
OLIVE bessa r2 https://imgur.com/a/qIucLDa Asking $900 shipped
Please feel free to message for better quality photos, I've just taken these quickly with a phone camera.
submitted by NomadicManiac_x to photomarket [link] [comments]
Camera Specifications:
Shutter Speed: 1sec-1/2000sec
Lens Mount: M Mount
Frame Lines: 75mm, 35mm & 90mm, 50mm
ISO Range: 25-3200
Batteries Required: x2 LR44 Cells (not included)
BLACK bessa r2 https://imgur.com/a/oN17ACd Asking: $850 shipped
OLIVE bessa r2 https://imgur.com/a/qIucLDa Asking $900 shipped
Please feel free to message for better quality photos, I've just taken these quickly with a phone camera.
2024.05.14 03:03 TurbulentTangelo [WTS] Kifaru Reckoning Backpack
Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/6CYcXNp Was purchased and never used, has just been sitting in a closet Smoke-free home Bag only - frame sold separately 5980 Cubic Inches (98L) One of the best brands of backpacks on the market for hunting, camping, bug out bags, etc. $225 shipped (lower 48 states) + fees
submitted by TurbulentTangelo to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 03:02 03gg4 A Meltdown (Maybe)
SOME BACKGROUND:
I'm going to be upfront; the one thing truly stopping me from saying I am autistic with full certainty is my lack of an official diagnosis, despite having the knowledge that one does not need to be diagnosed to be autistic. I'm almost entirely certain after about 8 or so years of consideration. I'm attempting to seek a diagnosis not only for personal validation though, but also to have something concrete to give to my parents. For now, I consider myself self-diagnosed, though I've given my psychiatrist a 20 page document detailing why I believe I would benefit from a proper evaluation as well as all of the experiences and the collection of traits I have that I attribute to being autistic.
For some background: I am 20 and AFAB, transmasc but presenting as female due to not being out of the closet. I am Vietnamese and part of the first generation in my family to be born in America. My parents and grandparents were born and raised in Vietnam, and thus were raised with a very different culture surrounding things such as mental health and disability compared to the information I've had access to growing up in the US. I still live with my parents and am struggling with already diagnosed mental health issues including major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, unspecified ADHD, and an unspecified trauma disorder. Because of the language and cultural barrier, my parents are really only aware of the depression in name, and the ADHD they understand even less. They are trying their best, though my dad hasn't looked at any of the resources I've sent him about ADHD or autism in my attempts to help him understand better.
On my dad in particular: he has always been the kind to believe in toughing things out and simply trying harder. Over the years he has grown to be more understanding, especially as my mental health issues grew to degrees that became harder to hide, but we have a history in terms of what I'm about to describe re: my very recent meltdown.
WHAT HAPPENED:
The day before Mother's Day, my dad sprung up on me without warning that me and my younger brother were going over to our paternal grandparents' house to wish our grandmother a happy Mother's Day. This immediately upset me not because I didn't want to go, but because I hadn't had the time to mentally prepare myself for the shift in my routine—I had only done so for the actual date of Mother's Day. I've asked my family before that I am told ahead of time when plans to go out of the house where I'm involved are made, preferably at least a day beforehand. Unfortunately, my family is comprised of very spontaneous people who tend to make plans on the fly.
I made it clear I was fairly upset about not being told ahead of time to my mother, who thanked me when I got up to get ready to go. Something about being thanked for this was the final nail in the coffin for the upset that was gripping me. I think it was the idea that she knew full well that I was attempting to set aside my own comforts(? for lack of a better term) for the sake of family normality; something that I've had to do often.
I had a quiet breakdown in the bathroom while I washed myself, which came with the annoyance of how snotty tears would make you. Very annoying when bowing your head to wash your hair. I've had practice locking myself in the bathroom to have my breakdowns in a private place where I couldn't be walked in on and then questioned, because I always knew that I could never explain why I was having such a disproportionate reaction, especially given the cultural barrier. It would all seem stupid, immature, selfish, spoiled, and an overreaction. My plan was to cry it out in the shower and come back out after composing myself so we could leave. Tried and true method. I bit the back of my hands—to stifle my crying, to give myself a physical sensation to ground myself with, some combination of those two. It helped only a little bit.
As it turns out, there was a lot of baggage behind this upset outside of just this one incident. There is a very long-running pattern in which I must sacrifice my comfort or suck up my complaints in order to appease whatever my parents have decided to do, or whatever I was expected to do.
Sometimes it was their obsession with taking billions of family pictures—I vividly recall one instance where I was horribly upset about having to wear a dress, especially for the sole sake of driving to some flower field just to take pretty family pictures of which we have thousands. I was much younger at the time, maybe 14, and was expressing my upset in the only somewhat acceptable way I could, i.e. being incredibly grumpy. Eventually my dad blew up at me for being spoiled and various other things while I cried in the back of the car, my mother and younger brother dead silent. He drove to cool off. We did not talk about it ever again afterward.
Sometimes it was school-related. When I was around 11, I was struggling to complete an assignment for school for reasons I couldn't articulate, and honestly still can't. It was simple, and it was a drawing assignment, and I absolutely adored traditional art. But I was simply Stuck on some part, and was working myself into an anxious mess up until midnight. I was terrified of getting bad grades, of not meeting the expectations of people I considered authority figures, such as teachers. So much so that I wanted to stay home. And knowing I had no "proper" excuse, I tried to use a different one when I asked to stay home for that one day: menstrual cramps. I was told to see how I was doing in the morning.
In the morning I still said I wished to stay home from school due to cramps. After a lot of deliberation with my mother, she relented and allowed me to stay home. Despite the fact that I had gotten what I wanted, I was already horribly upset. Looking back on it, I think it was the fact that I had to fight so hard to stay home for just one day. It was upsetting that my visible upset wasn't enough. It was upsetting that they weren't just getting it.
I had a breakdown in the bathroom (there's a trend here as you can see) and slammed my arm against the heater in there so many times that I ended up with horrible bruising on the back of my arm the days after. My family members knocked on the door because people needed to get ready, and that only made me more upset—couldn't they hear me crying? Didn't they care? When I finally came out and crawled up into the upper bunk, my dad came in and started yelling at me.
Your average stuff, things like, "If I had a stomachache I wouldn't just be able to not go to work." I blocked a lot of it out of my memory, but most of the time I was under the covers crying while he engaged in a one-sided shouting match with me. Eventually my mother came in and gently asked me to stop crying, and to stop making my father mad.
While these two incidents and the others like them happened years ago, they were defining moments in my life and inform how I handle conflict (as in: I don't) and how I go about expressing my struggles (as in: rarely, and often with great shame). Standing in the shower and being unable to not think about these things, I spiraled further. It felt like I was being swallowed by my emotions. I don't know if angry or sad or upset really capture what I was feeling properly. My thoughts were like a car with its brakes cut, going at breakneck speeds on the highway.
By the time I was done with my shower I still wasn't composed. As it turns out, when you abuse a coping mechanism that relies on repression as long as I did, it stops working at some point. There was just too much to try and hide. More hand biting happened along with some hitting my head with my fists. So I sat in my room, and eventually my mom came in and saw my face. Unsurprisingly she didn't acknowledge the fact that I had clearly been crying—instead, with a soft voice, like she was coaxing a small child into doing something vaguely unpleasant, she told me, "Come on, let's go." And I'm sure that's how she was seeing me at that point. An oppositional, defiant child. I struggle not to see myself in that way, and still have been trying to unpack how much shame I feel when things like this happen.
My crying started up again because my tear ducts really don't like listening to me, and I asked somewhat incredulously, "You're still going to make me go?" In retrospect, it probably sounded bratty. Here I was, 20 years old, complaining about being "made" to go somewhere.
It took maybe a couple of seconds for my mom to decide to just let me stay home instead.
Once everyone was out, I had the loudest cry I'd ever experienced in my life. I'd never had the opportunity to, and so it just kind of... came out once the house was silent. I think I might've wailed. And then I promptly shut the hell up once I heard my [maternal] grandmother coming back upstairs. She passed by my room, asked why I didn't go (not noticing the state of my face, maybe due to eyesight). I gave a non-answer and she made some exasperated remark that I don't know how to translate into English. It nearly set me off again, knowing how inconvenient I was, how tired they all were of me and my antics.
I had a headache for the next 20 or so hours, which I knew would happen based on past experiences with breakdowns as emotionally taxing as this one. I'd also predicted during the whole thing that the next day I would be pretty nonfunctional, which I was unfortunately also right about. Whenever these things happen it throws my entire week off. It's upsettingly debilitating. Two days later, I'm somewhat functional, but the whole thing disrupted my... everything. I have an exam that I had planned to study for during the days I was busy trying to get myself back together emotionally. The headache actually came back, and is sitting with me nicely while I type this. Hey there.
The day immediately after, Mother's Day: I was pretty fearful the entire time. Mostly of what my dad was going to do. Best case scenario, he'd come into my room and we could have an open dialogue and communicate about what happened. Worst case scenario, he'd regress and revert back to how he'd been like years ago, screaming at me for my incompetence, my selfishness, my refusal to cooperate with the smallest things despite all our family does for me. After a little bit I had to add on a third possibility: that he would simply go about like nothing happened, which he has also done before. Generally though, I wasn't optimistic about my chances here. I learned through this that I absolutely don't trust him to handle my larger, more intrusive, more ugly issues with grace.
He's been ignoring my existence since my little meltdown. No hellos, good mornings, not even looking at me. He's talking with everyone else as normal. I've been keeping my head down and can really only assume that he's angry with me as I'd expected and based on what I know about him/understand in terms of his personality through prior experience.
While I could give benefit of the doubt and say he may be attempting to give me space, he's the kind of person who you can tell when he's angry. It's something we share. And it's truly more likely that he's upset about me throwing what looked to him like a shitfit over something small and inconsequential, refusing to do something as simple as a visit to make his mothemy paternal grandmother to give Mother's Day gifts. And I didn't get my propensity for avoiding communication and unpleasant conversations at all costs from nowhere, so. Here we are.
I still don't really know if what I had was an autistic meltdown or a "standard" emotional breakdown, whatever that even looks like. I think I'm used to framing my behaviors with neurotypical language, and often language that isn't too kind to myself. So on top of venting a bit, I also wanted to get an outside perspective, and see whether my breakdown sounded similar to any other autistic peoples' experiences with meltdowns.
If there's any advice out there to give in terms of my relationship with my dad, that would also be appreciated. I love my family, but it all hurts, and this has also made me realize that I may have a lot more trauma to unpack surrounding my family than I've acknowledged.
I've been considering getting a physical copy of Sincerely, Your Autistic Child to annotate and highlight certain sections, putting sticky tabs on chapters I find relevant, and providing definitions for words I know he hasn't come across before, to give to him and ask him to at least attempt to read those bits. The more bitter and angry part of me, the part that are tired of having to be the one to accommodate for everything interpersonally, just wants to go up to him and tell him the reason I never go to him when I'm upset is because I'm scared. To tell him exactly what all those times he yelled at me did to my ability to self-advocate, to tell him what all those times my emotions and emotional well being were devalued did to my self-esteem. That the "interpersonally submissive" phrase from my 40 page psych report has roots in the way he raised me entirely on obedience, and how I am still learning that I am allowed to say no in all sorts of contexts. Maybe I can do both of these things, and probably when he isn't pretending I don't exist, and when I feel less like I'll fall to bits the moment I open my mouth in his direction. I'll likely try and avoid using language that outright blames him for the sake of maintaining a good relationship whenever the talk comes around.
I'm still trying to accept the fact that I might need more support than I allowed myself to think. I only recently found out that truly voicing that I'm having academic trouble is something that brings me so much shame that tears spring up in my eyes—going to the Disability Support Services office on my campus made me far more emotional and nervous than I'd expected. With how I'm navigating my own self-acceptance, I don't know how I'm going to get my family to accept that I'm not the "normal" child I know they still wished I was.
submitted by 03gg4 to AutismTranslated [link] [comments]
I'm going to be upfront; the one thing truly stopping me from saying I am autistic with full certainty is my lack of an official diagnosis, despite having the knowledge that one does not need to be diagnosed to be autistic. I'm almost entirely certain after about 8 or so years of consideration. I'm attempting to seek a diagnosis not only for personal validation though, but also to have something concrete to give to my parents. For now, I consider myself self-diagnosed, though I've given my psychiatrist a 20 page document detailing why I believe I would benefit from a proper evaluation as well as all of the experiences and the collection of traits I have that I attribute to being autistic.
For some background: I am 20 and AFAB, transmasc but presenting as female due to not being out of the closet. I am Vietnamese and part of the first generation in my family to be born in America. My parents and grandparents were born and raised in Vietnam, and thus were raised with a very different culture surrounding things such as mental health and disability compared to the information I've had access to growing up in the US. I still live with my parents and am struggling with already diagnosed mental health issues including major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, unspecified ADHD, and an unspecified trauma disorder. Because of the language and cultural barrier, my parents are really only aware of the depression in name, and the ADHD they understand even less. They are trying their best, though my dad hasn't looked at any of the resources I've sent him about ADHD or autism in my attempts to help him understand better.
On my dad in particular: he has always been the kind to believe in toughing things out and simply trying harder. Over the years he has grown to be more understanding, especially as my mental health issues grew to degrees that became harder to hide, but we have a history in terms of what I'm about to describe re: my very recent meltdown.
WHAT HAPPENED:
The day before Mother's Day, my dad sprung up on me without warning that me and my younger brother were going over to our paternal grandparents' house to wish our grandmother a happy Mother's Day. This immediately upset me not because I didn't want to go, but because I hadn't had the time to mentally prepare myself for the shift in my routine—I had only done so for the actual date of Mother's Day. I've asked my family before that I am told ahead of time when plans to go out of the house where I'm involved are made, preferably at least a day beforehand. Unfortunately, my family is comprised of very spontaneous people who tend to make plans on the fly.
I made it clear I was fairly upset about not being told ahead of time to my mother, who thanked me when I got up to get ready to go. Something about being thanked for this was the final nail in the coffin for the upset that was gripping me. I think it was the idea that she knew full well that I was attempting to set aside my own comforts(? for lack of a better term) for the sake of family normality; something that I've had to do often.
I had a quiet breakdown in the bathroom while I washed myself, which came with the annoyance of how snotty tears would make you. Very annoying when bowing your head to wash your hair. I've had practice locking myself in the bathroom to have my breakdowns in a private place where I couldn't be walked in on and then questioned, because I always knew that I could never explain why I was having such a disproportionate reaction, especially given the cultural barrier. It would all seem stupid, immature, selfish, spoiled, and an overreaction. My plan was to cry it out in the shower and come back out after composing myself so we could leave. Tried and true method. I bit the back of my hands—to stifle my crying, to give myself a physical sensation to ground myself with, some combination of those two. It helped only a little bit.
As it turns out, there was a lot of baggage behind this upset outside of just this one incident. There is a very long-running pattern in which I must sacrifice my comfort or suck up my complaints in order to appease whatever my parents have decided to do, or whatever I was expected to do.
Sometimes it was their obsession with taking billions of family pictures—I vividly recall one instance where I was horribly upset about having to wear a dress, especially for the sole sake of driving to some flower field just to take pretty family pictures of which we have thousands. I was much younger at the time, maybe 14, and was expressing my upset in the only somewhat acceptable way I could, i.e. being incredibly grumpy. Eventually my dad blew up at me for being spoiled and various other things while I cried in the back of the car, my mother and younger brother dead silent. He drove to cool off. We did not talk about it ever again afterward.
Sometimes it was school-related. When I was around 11, I was struggling to complete an assignment for school for reasons I couldn't articulate, and honestly still can't. It was simple, and it was a drawing assignment, and I absolutely adored traditional art. But I was simply Stuck on some part, and was working myself into an anxious mess up until midnight. I was terrified of getting bad grades, of not meeting the expectations of people I considered authority figures, such as teachers. So much so that I wanted to stay home. And knowing I had no "proper" excuse, I tried to use a different one when I asked to stay home for that one day: menstrual cramps. I was told to see how I was doing in the morning.
In the morning I still said I wished to stay home from school due to cramps. After a lot of deliberation with my mother, she relented and allowed me to stay home. Despite the fact that I had gotten what I wanted, I was already horribly upset. Looking back on it, I think it was the fact that I had to fight so hard to stay home for just one day. It was upsetting that my visible upset wasn't enough. It was upsetting that they weren't just getting it.
I had a breakdown in the bathroom (there's a trend here as you can see) and slammed my arm against the heater in there so many times that I ended up with horrible bruising on the back of my arm the days after. My family members knocked on the door because people needed to get ready, and that only made me more upset—couldn't they hear me crying? Didn't they care? When I finally came out and crawled up into the upper bunk, my dad came in and started yelling at me.
Your average stuff, things like, "If I had a stomachache I wouldn't just be able to not go to work." I blocked a lot of it out of my memory, but most of the time I was under the covers crying while he engaged in a one-sided shouting match with me. Eventually my mother came in and gently asked me to stop crying, and to stop making my father mad.
While these two incidents and the others like them happened years ago, they were defining moments in my life and inform how I handle conflict (as in: I don't) and how I go about expressing my struggles (as in: rarely, and often with great shame). Standing in the shower and being unable to not think about these things, I spiraled further. It felt like I was being swallowed by my emotions. I don't know if angry or sad or upset really capture what I was feeling properly. My thoughts were like a car with its brakes cut, going at breakneck speeds on the highway.
By the time I was done with my shower I still wasn't composed. As it turns out, when you abuse a coping mechanism that relies on repression as long as I did, it stops working at some point. There was just too much to try and hide. More hand biting happened along with some hitting my head with my fists. So I sat in my room, and eventually my mom came in and saw my face. Unsurprisingly she didn't acknowledge the fact that I had clearly been crying—instead, with a soft voice, like she was coaxing a small child into doing something vaguely unpleasant, she told me, "Come on, let's go." And I'm sure that's how she was seeing me at that point. An oppositional, defiant child. I struggle not to see myself in that way, and still have been trying to unpack how much shame I feel when things like this happen.
My crying started up again because my tear ducts really don't like listening to me, and I asked somewhat incredulously, "You're still going to make me go?" In retrospect, it probably sounded bratty. Here I was, 20 years old, complaining about being "made" to go somewhere.
It took maybe a couple of seconds for my mom to decide to just let me stay home instead.
Once everyone was out, I had the loudest cry I'd ever experienced in my life. I'd never had the opportunity to, and so it just kind of... came out once the house was silent. I think I might've wailed. And then I promptly shut the hell up once I heard my [maternal] grandmother coming back upstairs. She passed by my room, asked why I didn't go (not noticing the state of my face, maybe due to eyesight). I gave a non-answer and she made some exasperated remark that I don't know how to translate into English. It nearly set me off again, knowing how inconvenient I was, how tired they all were of me and my antics.
I had a headache for the next 20 or so hours, which I knew would happen based on past experiences with breakdowns as emotionally taxing as this one. I'd also predicted during the whole thing that the next day I would be pretty nonfunctional, which I was unfortunately also right about. Whenever these things happen it throws my entire week off. It's upsettingly debilitating. Two days later, I'm somewhat functional, but the whole thing disrupted my... everything. I have an exam that I had planned to study for during the days I was busy trying to get myself back together emotionally. The headache actually came back, and is sitting with me nicely while I type this. Hey there.
The day immediately after, Mother's Day: I was pretty fearful the entire time. Mostly of what my dad was going to do. Best case scenario, he'd come into my room and we could have an open dialogue and communicate about what happened. Worst case scenario, he'd regress and revert back to how he'd been like years ago, screaming at me for my incompetence, my selfishness, my refusal to cooperate with the smallest things despite all our family does for me. After a little bit I had to add on a third possibility: that he would simply go about like nothing happened, which he has also done before. Generally though, I wasn't optimistic about my chances here. I learned through this that I absolutely don't trust him to handle my larger, more intrusive, more ugly issues with grace.
He's been ignoring my existence since my little meltdown. No hellos, good mornings, not even looking at me. He's talking with everyone else as normal. I've been keeping my head down and can really only assume that he's angry with me as I'd expected and based on what I know about him/understand in terms of his personality through prior experience.
While I could give benefit of the doubt and say he may be attempting to give me space, he's the kind of person who you can tell when he's angry. It's something we share. And it's truly more likely that he's upset about me throwing what looked to him like a shitfit over something small and inconsequential, refusing to do something as simple as a visit to make his mothemy paternal grandmother to give Mother's Day gifts. And I didn't get my propensity for avoiding communication and unpleasant conversations at all costs from nowhere, so. Here we are.
I still don't really know if what I had was an autistic meltdown or a "standard" emotional breakdown, whatever that even looks like. I think I'm used to framing my behaviors with neurotypical language, and often language that isn't too kind to myself. So on top of venting a bit, I also wanted to get an outside perspective, and see whether my breakdown sounded similar to any other autistic peoples' experiences with meltdowns.
If there's any advice out there to give in terms of my relationship with my dad, that would also be appreciated. I love my family, but it all hurts, and this has also made me realize that I may have a lot more trauma to unpack surrounding my family than I've acknowledged.
I've been considering getting a physical copy of Sincerely, Your Autistic Child to annotate and highlight certain sections, putting sticky tabs on chapters I find relevant, and providing definitions for words I know he hasn't come across before, to give to him and ask him to at least attempt to read those bits. The more bitter and angry part of me, the part that are tired of having to be the one to accommodate for everything interpersonally, just wants to go up to him and tell him the reason I never go to him when I'm upset is because I'm scared. To tell him exactly what all those times he yelled at me did to my ability to self-advocate, to tell him what all those times my emotions and emotional well being were devalued did to my self-esteem. That the "interpersonally submissive" phrase from my 40 page psych report has roots in the way he raised me entirely on obedience, and how I am still learning that I am allowed to say no in all sorts of contexts. Maybe I can do both of these things, and probably when he isn't pretending I don't exist, and when I feel less like I'll fall to bits the moment I open my mouth in his direction. I'll likely try and avoid using language that outright blames him for the sake of maintaining a good relationship whenever the talk comes around.
I'm still trying to accept the fact that I might need more support than I allowed myself to think. I only recently found out that truly voicing that I'm having academic trouble is something that brings me so much shame that tears spring up in my eyes—going to the Disability Support Services office on my campus made me far more emotional and nervous than I'd expected. With how I'm navigating my own self-acceptance, I don't know how I'm going to get my family to accept that I'm not the "normal" child I know they still wished I was.
2024.05.14 03:00 DavidDawnDeluxe When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether!
Hi, David here!
Everyone has flaws and imperfections, either physically or personality wise.
Don’t get hung up on things about yourself which may be unalterable.
Don’t always be trying to overtly hide such flaws. The insecurity shown when trying to hide a fault often comes off as being way less attractive than the actual fault itself.
Obsessively trying to hide a fault highlights a person’s insecurity and shows low self-confidence.
In the cases where the fault could potentially have an impact on your performance, it’s often much more effective to directly address the issue upfront, and call out the elephant in the room as it were.
But for the scenarios where the fault is inconsequential, you could choose to address it instead in a more nonchalant manner. If the fault does not matter to you, why should it matter to other people?
You can joke about your flaws, but do not do so in a self-deprecating kind of way. If you joke about yourself in a self-deprecating kind of way, then you are probably hoping that people will laugh with you instead of just at you. And while perhaps funny, this does not make you look attractive.
However, being able to openly joke about yourself in such a way that you are not simply searching for approval from others, shows that you are truly comfortable with who you are.
You can also re-frame a fault as a positive.
Being overly defensive or qualifying oneself let’s someone know that they have successfully accomplished getting under your skin, which may have been their very intention. Completely ignoring such remarks or either responding nonchalantly or with a joke is often a much better response.
There are actually many benefits to having flaws:
When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether.
Especially if the flaw is physical. Internal confidence is a way more attractive than some external superficial flaw.
If the flaw is blatantly obvious, and yet you conduct yourself as if it has no drastic effect on your self-worth, it shows great self-confidence.
Similarly, if others try to actively attack you over a flaw, but you remain nonreactive, confident and well-grounded despite their provocations, you can come off looking even better than before.
Faults can also allow other people to find you more accessible and relatable. People can’t identify and connect well with others who appear perfect.
And finally, learning to overcome certain shortcoming in life is what allows you to build resourcefulness, character and work ethic.
Adding to that, I just finished putting together my dating eBook "How to Date Any Girl" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
The eBook is 27 pages long and gives you a practical step-by-step solution to meeting women (15+ years of knowledge put into it).
You can get the eBook by clicking here!
This book is the result of going out and socializing with girls for over a decade. I have put in there all the fundamentals I have learned over that time so I would really appreciate all the feedback I could get!!
What are your thoughts? Do you have any tips to add?
Let's discuss in the comments :)
Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
Coach David
submitted by DavidDawnDeluxe to datingadviceformen [link] [comments]
Everyone has flaws and imperfections, either physically or personality wise.
Don’t get hung up on things about yourself which may be unalterable.
Don’t always be trying to overtly hide such flaws. The insecurity shown when trying to hide a fault often comes off as being way less attractive than the actual fault itself.
Obsessively trying to hide a fault highlights a person’s insecurity and shows low self-confidence.
In the cases where the fault could potentially have an impact on your performance, it’s often much more effective to directly address the issue upfront, and call out the elephant in the room as it were.
But for the scenarios where the fault is inconsequential, you could choose to address it instead in a more nonchalant manner. If the fault does not matter to you, why should it matter to other people?
You can joke about your flaws, but do not do so in a self-deprecating kind of way. If you joke about yourself in a self-deprecating kind of way, then you are probably hoping that people will laugh with you instead of just at you. And while perhaps funny, this does not make you look attractive.
However, being able to openly joke about yourself in such a way that you are not simply searching for approval from others, shows that you are truly comfortable with who you are.
You can also re-frame a fault as a positive.
Being overly defensive or qualifying oneself let’s someone know that they have successfully accomplished getting under your skin, which may have been their very intention. Completely ignoring such remarks or either responding nonchalantly or with a joke is often a much better response.
There are actually many benefits to having flaws:
When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether.
Especially if the flaw is physical. Internal confidence is a way more attractive than some external superficial flaw.
If the flaw is blatantly obvious, and yet you conduct yourself as if it has no drastic effect on your self-worth, it shows great self-confidence.
Similarly, if others try to actively attack you over a flaw, but you remain nonreactive, confident and well-grounded despite their provocations, you can come off looking even better than before.
Faults can also allow other people to find you more accessible and relatable. People can’t identify and connect well with others who appear perfect.
And finally, learning to overcome certain shortcoming in life is what allows you to build resourcefulness, character and work ethic.
Adding to that, I just finished putting together my dating eBook "How to Date Any Girl" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
The eBook is 27 pages long and gives you a practical step-by-step solution to meeting women (15+ years of knowledge put into it).
You can get the eBook by clicking here!
This book is the result of going out and socializing with girls for over a decade. I have put in there all the fundamentals I have learned over that time so I would really appreciate all the feedback I could get!!
What are your thoughts? Do you have any tips to add?
Let's discuss in the comments :)
Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
Coach David
2024.05.14 02:58 TurbulentTangelo [WTS] Kifaru Reckoning Backpack
https://imgur.com/a/6CYcXNp
Was purchased and never used, has just been sitting in a closet Smoke-free home Bag only - frame sold separately 5980 Cubic Inches (98L) One of the best brands of backpacks on the market for hunting, camping, bug out bags, etc.
$225 shipped + fees
submitted by TurbulentTangelo to GearTrade [link] [comments]
Was purchased and never used, has just been sitting in a closet Smoke-free home Bag only - frame sold separately 5980 Cubic Inches (98L) One of the best brands of backpacks on the market for hunting, camping, bug out bags, etc.
$225 shipped + fees
2024.05.14 02:43 NerdyOutdoors Exeter City Season 7: 3 Pressing Questions as Exeter Prepare for Season 2 in the Premier Leauge
 | After Exeter City secured safety in their first-ever Premier League season, with four matches remaining, the fans' hearts, and the backroom staff's minds, all turned toward the upcoming season. Exeter's season was marked by thrilling highs (a 6-1 thrashing of West Ham, a convincing victory over Tottenham) and shocking lows (a 1-6 loss to LUTON TOWN of all teams, a pasting 1-5 by an ascendant Arsenal), but manager Andy Maher remained steady at the controls. submitted by NerdyOutdoors to seriousfifacareers [link] [comments] With the summer 2029 transfer window slammed shut and the new-look teams having played a few matches, we run the rule over the teams in the 2029-2030 Premier League. Up today, the south coast side Exeter City, the only fan-owned team in the Premier League. With the Supporter's Trust helping contribute to financial operations and the canny Julian Tagg still directing the football side of things, Exeter look to consolidate their precarious position and craft a long-term place in the top flight. Exeter finished their season in a commendable 13th place, with an impressive attacking line that was able, sometimes, to overcome the worst defense outside of the relegation zone. Known usually for a solid backline, Exeter's players were generally exposed by the pace and attacking verve of the Premier League. Only Sonny Cox and the rest of the attack, who posted the league's 8th best scoring record, kept Exeter afloat. https://preview.redd.it/1u8kinxnfa0d1.png?width=616&format=png&auto=webp&s=ae29e48269936f51392d1e89c08201b630a33d35 Cox, in partnership with assists co-leader Idrissa Camara, led the Premier League with a stunning 27 goal tally in 38 appearances, topping Chelsea's Nkunku by 3 goals. As Exeter turn to the new season, we ask three pressing questions of the team and examine the answers to find out if Exeter can repeat the trick, or if their security in the top flight is merely an illusion. Question 1: Will the defense improve? Whether down to tactics or formation, or players themselves, Exeter's defense in the 2028-29 season was lacklustre at best. Many point to the relatively thrifty spend in 2028-29, with only Jordan Storey and Etienne Kinkoue coming through the door to bolster the ranks last season. This season looks already off to a different start. While Exeter continue to parsimoniously clutch the purse strings, they sold some excess players and finally made a significant, record-smashing, splash in the transfer pool, this time bolstering the backline. Exeter splashed £22.5m to sign Czech Republic international star Martin Vitik away from Salernita, who escaped relegation by just a few points in Serie A. Able to offer improved wages and a competitive environment, Exeter had clearly committed to improving the defense here. https://preview.redd.it/h7kuk06rfa0d1.png?width=624&format=png&auto=webp&s=6404ef1fdc28f0f63a70fec072fd675b08da639b "We saw a number of transfers out early in this window, where players had not quite fit in, or even where we decided, as much as we wanted to keep the man, we needed to fund improvements across the squad," said Tagg. "Last year we saw a net spend for the first time ever, and while we are very far from the spending limits imposed by the EFL, we need to make sure we balance the books. So this was a very involved, drawn out, patient process that we were only able to conclude in late August." In keeping with Exeter's thrifty ways, they added another option to the midfield as well. "We really felt that if we could possess the ball better, maybe use David's skill set to break up plays more, and add another player there, we might see improvements across the whole defense," said Maher in an interview. "So we managed to convince Mateusz that we were the best option for him." https://preview.redd.it/42qm1upufa0d1.png?width=621&format=png&auto=webp&s=aa1023b98c02609d700604365462115fed2e8a45 With Kowalczyk now roving the middle of the pitch, Exeter truly have competition at the central midfield position, and have the flexibility to move some of their talented pieces around the board. "Mateusz really freed up and gave us some interesting lineup choices, and you saw that in some of these early matches where we came out and surprised people," said Maher. The new look for Exeter's base 4-2-3-1 looks like this, with Kowalczyk pushing forward into a CAM role, while Camara plays just slightly forward of Watson, who remains in a true defensive midfielder role. Hlynsson moves wide to the left, while Clark has the right touchline to himself. The new partnership of Storey and Vitik protects the center, while young starlet Maguire has impressed at right back, and former Exeter Academy man Ben Chrisene slots into the left wingback position. Time will tell, but early results are promising. A rocky 3-2 win over Brighton was followed with a much more competent series of performances. Pundits are optimistic that Exeter can improve last season's defensive performance, and fans can only hope that the starting line avoids serious injury. Question 2: Can Exeter keep their stars? A smashing season from Cox, the silky smooth midfielder Camara, wide man Bobby Clark, the revelation of young fullback Rory Maguire-- these are the main men around whom Exeter has built its team. With Cox and Camara both having played with the squad since their League One days, there's an intuitive chemistry and connection built over hundred and thousands of hours on the training ground. Meanwhile. Clark has impressed on the wing, as the former central midfielder enjoys the space to threaten opposing fullbacks with his craft. "We had one major bid for Sonny [Cox]," revealed Tagg recently, "but it was miles still from our valuation, and this is about more than just money anyway; Sonny has told us he will stay with us as long as he can, as long as our trajectory for success matches his. We go where Sonny takes us." The bid, which remains undisclosed, was regarded by some as an attempt to pry away a future world-class leader, at a cut-rate price. One indignant fan noted, "Just because we're Exeter and a small club doesn't mean they can offer rubbish fees." With goal scoring on par with elite teams like Chelsea, some were surprised by the rumors of the fee offer. Still, a handful of commentators, looking at Exeter's profit margins and football operations, noted that Exeter take a risk in declining a major fee--even a low offer. "£40, 50, 60 million? That would be huge for Exeter to take in, and then to reinvest across multiple positions of the squad," one said. "What good is that reinvestment if you can't score in the Prem," replied Gibbons in her analysis of Exeter's roster. "Cox proved last season he could score here, that's invaluable to the team. We've seen too many failed major purchases-- even Exeter signed a player who was a bust at this level." Exeter did lose a handful of significant players in the transfer window. Published estimates from football bloggers show that Exeter currently enjoy a small profit on sales, although this is subject to official confirmation. Much of Exeter's reputed profit came from three sales. Moving on from failed striker Erik Botheim, Exeter unload the player and his contract to Bristol City for £9.9m. Kinkoue, who never really broke through into the first team with any consistency, accepted terms with Middlesbrough. But the shock move was relegated Crystal Palace, desperate to shore up its bid for immediate promotion, buying Ngoma for £17.1m. The promising American winger showed great potential last season and was 2nd in assists for Exeter. His touch and crossing acumen helped Exeter through a challenging spring season and some thing that his departure is a significant dent in Exeter's futures. https://preview.redd.it/u3dtrri3ga0d1.png?width=1256&format=png&auto=webp&s=5ade1c2f9d7f11b2f808252150e630f9fb2791dd Ultimately, Exeter made few moves to bring in players, counting on a smaller number of hopefully shrewd choices to lead the way. As Gibbons notes, "There was some roster bloat last season; even with many players out on loan, Exeter carried more players than they could really find time for. This was a smart offseason to make a profit on academy graduates, while still identifying the core players who will help the team. The season looks promising, with star man Cox already notching 4 goals in 6 appearances, while Camara and Clark both have tallied 2 goals and 1 assist each. Gyokeres hasn't lost much of step, with 2 assists and a goal to his name. Meanwhile, young star in the making Rory Maguire continues his run of excellent form. The young fullback had a bad day at the Carabao Cup, but has put in stellar shifts in the Premier League, and is quickly becoming one of Exeter's top choices in the back line. With his work, Exeter already have two clean sheets in the league. https://preview.redd.it/h3drn3b6ga0d1.png?width=625&format=png&auto=webp&s=bef145182381d710da2ac09c87b4f4f16df2084d A new star is rising in the defense also, with another academy product impressing in duty. Sebastian Benson, another 20-year-old defender, has been earning minutes in the starting XI and as one of the first off the bench. The centre-back is explosive in short areas and a dominating aerial talent to win headers away from even the fiercest attackers. https://preview.redd.it/xgmf1mrdga0d1.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=6516c3628a14539f245f6611c130e5bc3aed8936 Question 3: What tactics will Exeter adopt to maximize their players? With Gyokeres and Cox both on the field, Exeter found themselves in a surprising bind: The two forwards would either force Exeter into something like a 4-4-2, and thus push either defensive midfielder Medon Berisha or attacking midfielder Kristian Hlynsson to the substitute's bench, OR, Exeter could drop into a 5-man back line, and sacrifice the talented winger Bobby Clark to the exigencies of the formation. Exeter usually chose the 4-4-2, and the gamble SOMETIMES worked in Exeter's favor. Analyst Beth Gibbons explains: "When Gyokeres is on the pitch with Cox, this is a dangerous and pacey attack. Gyokeres has proven adept at both holdup play where he links Cox to the midfield, and at running onto balls from the wings or from Camara, who's incredibly talented as a passer. But if Camara and [midfielder David] Watson get forward, there's nothing in front of that back four to protect against the counter, and Exeter were exposed frequently there. But if Watson stays back to shield that line, or if Maguire doesn't track forward, Exeter were too one-dimensional, and really strong defenses absolutely stymied the attack. Exeter have adopted a more flexible approach this year, including a surprise 5-4-1 that absolutely gobsmacked Manchester City in the early running this season. Gibbons on the new look: "This was a real surprise, as it put Camara deeper than usual. But it was incredibly effective as it provided two defenders to cover Haaland, and freed the wing backs to come inside to help against the centre-mids, or to cover those wide wingers. Maguire's work against Foden was absolutely stellar, as he stymied the England international all match." The lineup for the shock win over Man City Exeter put on a defensive clinic against the champions, winning 2-0 in style, with a Cox brace to lead the team. Camara was incisive as usual, but the real hero was Watson in the middle to cut off the Manchester transition, and Maguire wide, who posted 6 successful tackles against Foden and won almost every battle on that side. Exeter shifted onto the attack for its match against Brighton and revealed a swashbuckling 4-3-3 with a fascinating double-pivot in the midfield. "The one defensive midfielder was often over-run," said Maher in a podcast interview after the match. "So we took the usual midfield triangle and inverted it, giving us two men to break up attacks. Idrissa's so good at launching after an interception or a tackle, so we let him sit deep and orchestrate, but he has free roam of that side of the pitch, to work into space more or push forward. So he and Matty [Kowalczyk] act almost like 2 attacking mids when we had the ball, but then he comes back to defense really quickly." Wide, Gyokeres and Clark pushed up field and menaced the fullbacks. Brighton struggled with this positioning and gave up goals to both of the wide men, while Cox facilitated with an assist and a number of key passes. The positional flexibility has been impressive from the Grecians, and Exeter now sit 5th in the table after six matches. The most impressive stretch has come in September, with matches against Manchester City, Tottenham, and Arsenal. Most fans would have been ecstatic to come away with one draw in those 3 matches, and maybe add one point to the total from those three. Instead, Exeter took points in every one of the matches, including the clean sheets against Manchester City and Arsenal. Recent Results "If you told us, draws against two teams there, any fan would have taken it, right?" said Maher in the post-game press conference after the Arsenal match. "A clean sheet against Arsenal? Absolutely, you take that. But the fans have been excellent in their support, and the lads stepped up and executed against Manchester, and all of a sudden, they have this confidence to go out like they did. We fell behind against Tottenham but got the 82nd-minute equalizer because they never quit, they feel like they can go against any team." With the 5-game unbeaten streak, Exeter have laid down a marker that they wager they'll improve on last season's finish, and they're a danger to take points from any of the usual Big Six. "We're not scared," said Idrissa Camara. "We're hungry. Everyone else should be scared." The Verdict: Exeter look to have improved the defense and kept the most important cogs in the attack, although there are rumors that some elite Champions League sides are eying up winger Clark. The lineups will be a man-management challenge for the coaching staff, as there are simply a few too many great midfielders to balance out--someone has to drop to the substitute's bench. If Maher and the staff can manage playing time and player expectations, this will be an exciting team to watch this season. Our prediction: 10th place. Player notes: PC, mods include gameplay mods (Anth James), Career Realism Mod (PaulV) and homemade loan/transfecontract mods to improve free agency. Full ruleset can be found here. Sheet 1 details general rules and principles; subsequent sheets track transfers and finances. Finances are paramount for a small club. The first season in the Prem, we operated with a net spend in the transfer window, to bring in important players that bolster the squad. Last season was the first season (out of 6) to see this spending. Maybe I'll do a finances post soon because I find that stuff fascinating. Randomizer for transfers; transfer targets are limited to +1 over position average, with 1 player per year allowed to be significantly beyond that. This season, we targeted a CB to improve the defense and lucked into the signing of Vitik. He was actually our 3rd choice-- there was a top-notch free agent but we lost him to Chelsea and thus we had to wait for some player sales before we could afford a move. For transferring players at or below the team average, I use a very simple weighted randomizer that's built into my google sheets. For the players that are +2 or more beyond the team average, I use https://5ungc6-joseph-boyd.shinyapps.io/FifaDiceRoll/ crafted by another excellent member of this subreddit. It changes the probability of signings depending on how far above the average your intended signing is. If you read this far, you're fabulous, good-looking, and intellectually gifted. Happy gaming! |
2024.05.14 02:31 DizzeeAmoeba Free program to rotoscope?
Looking for suggestions on a free program for frame by frame roto, onion skinning would be a welcome feature…
I have premiere but i assume this isnt the move…
Any insight?
submitted by DizzeeAmoeba to 2DAnimation [link] [comments]
I have premiere but i assume this isnt the move…
Any insight?
2024.05.14 02:18 Marana231 My boss difficulty tier list
From easiest to hardest (in my opinion) 7th. Hecate 6/5th. Charybdis, Cerberus 4th. Scylla 3rd. Polyphemus 2nd. Chronos 1st. Eris
Eris’ final phase where she just starts shooting you for 20 damage each with aimbot always takes out my death defiances even if I haven’t died before then.
Chronos definitely shit on me at first, but once I learned his patterns he became much easier (the key is to camp like a bitch). Second phase is definitely easier.
Polyphemus is just annoying, I’ve definitely been caught out by his random kicks and boulder throws, as well as his minions he summons.
The rest I’m not going to explain since they’re all free and I only put them on here for the sake of the list
submitted by Marana231 to HadesTheGame [link] [comments]
Eris’ final phase where she just starts shooting you for 20 damage each with aimbot always takes out my death defiances even if I haven’t died before then.
Chronos definitely shit on me at first, but once I learned his patterns he became much easier (the key is to camp like a bitch). Second phase is definitely easier.
Polyphemus is just annoying, I’ve definitely been caught out by his random kicks and boulder throws, as well as his minions he summons.
The rest I’m not going to explain since they’re all free and I only put them on here for the sake of the list
2024.05.14 02:18 cmanAC130 [WTS] COMPLETE AR9 conversion kit
Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/22A4wZw
Price of shooting 5.56 got you going to the range less? Shoot much cheaper 9mm instead! This kit comes with:
-Complete AR9 upper with 4.5" barrel (extremely average) and a compensator
-AR9 heavy extended buffer
-Colt magwell conversion to run Colt 9mm magazines
-3 Colt pattern 9mm magazines, 1 30 rounder and 2 20 rounders
Simply pop these onto a complete AR-15 lower and shoot cheap 9mm all day.
Asking $375 shipped, must use PayPal G&S (I'll cover the fee)
Feel free to PM if you have any questions, thanks!
submitted by cmanAC130 to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]
Price of shooting 5.56 got you going to the range less? Shoot much cheaper 9mm instead! This kit comes with:
-Complete AR9 upper with 4.5" barrel (extremely average) and a compensator
-AR9 heavy extended buffer
-Colt magwell conversion to run Colt 9mm magazines
-3 Colt pattern 9mm magazines, 1 30 rounder and 2 20 rounders
Simply pop these onto a complete AR-15 lower and shoot cheap 9mm all day.
Asking $375 shipped, must use PayPal G&S (I'll cover the fee)
Feel free to PM if you have any questions, thanks!
2024.05.14 02:01 AutoModerator "Type Me" - Please post all "Type me" questions in the comments
Welcome to the world of Enneagram! Please do not create posts regarding interpretation of your test results or typing questions ("type me", "what type am I?", "what type do you think this is?", “guess my type”) in Enneagram. With so many people trying to determine their type, it creates clutter and repetition in the feed with similar answers given for every post, and is frustrating to the community.
Instead, please comment on this post with questions related to finding your type or typing other people and we will try our best to help you. This post will be refreshed at the end of every Tuesday in order to ensure your comment is seen throughout the week. You can also head over to EnneagramTypeMe and TypingEnneagram for subreddits dedicated to helping you find your type.
‘Type me’ Tuesdays
The exception to the above rule is every Tuesday, type-me questions are welcome on the main page (12:00AM-11:59PM UTC). Please flair your post appropriately, and still no test results please.
Interpretation of test results
The enneagram is a model of personality that focuses on why we do what we do, rather than our external traits themselves. Because of this, test results are, at best, a starting place for discovering your type. The top results give you an idea of what types you might be, but in order to know for sure, you’ll have to read up on the types and do some introspection of your internal motivations in addition to your patterns of behaviour and coping mechanisms.
You can find some basic starting summaries of the 9 types at enneagram institute: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions
Typing help
If you do decide to ask for help with typing on Tuesday or in this thread, others will need descriptions of how you relate to the core motivations, fears, harmonic triads, defence mechanisms and / or coping patterns of the types you’re torn between to help you in a meaningful way. Because the enneagram is based on your own internal motivations, only you can ultimately confirm your type, but the more detail you can give and the more honest you can be about your internal motivations and how these relate to possibly dysfunctional behaviour, the more likely someone will be able to help you get there. Be sure to indicate what types you're considering for yourself /others and why you think you may relate to those types for the best results.
Please feel free to post on the main page (anytime) regarding questions about the types you’re considering or subtleties between them in order to try to understand the types better while you figure things out, but make sure this is phrased such that you are looking for understanding of the types themselves, not a typing.
Resources
Lastly, for deeper knowledge, here are some recommended books:
The Complete Enneagram(Beatrice Chestnut)
The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Riso and Hudson)
The Enneagram (Helen Palmer)
Character and Neurosis (Claudio Naranjo)
Thank you so much for your understanding and cooperation in helping to keep this community fun & engaging for everyone. Best of luck in finding your enneagram type!
submitted by AutoModerator to Enneagram [link] [comments]
Instead, please comment on this post with questions related to finding your type or typing other people and we will try our best to help you. This post will be refreshed at the end of every Tuesday in order to ensure your comment is seen throughout the week. You can also head over to EnneagramTypeMe and TypingEnneagram for subreddits dedicated to helping you find your type.
‘Type me’ Tuesdays
The exception to the above rule is every Tuesday, type-me questions are welcome on the main page (12:00AM-11:59PM UTC). Please flair your post appropriately, and still no test results please.
Interpretation of test results
The enneagram is a model of personality that focuses on why we do what we do, rather than our external traits themselves. Because of this, test results are, at best, a starting place for discovering your type. The top results give you an idea of what types you might be, but in order to know for sure, you’ll have to read up on the types and do some introspection of your internal motivations in addition to your patterns of behaviour and coping mechanisms.
You can find some basic starting summaries of the 9 types at enneagram institute: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions
Typing help
If you do decide to ask for help with typing on Tuesday or in this thread, others will need descriptions of how you relate to the core motivations, fears, harmonic triads, defence mechanisms and / or coping patterns of the types you’re torn between to help you in a meaningful way. Because the enneagram is based on your own internal motivations, only you can ultimately confirm your type, but the more detail you can give and the more honest you can be about your internal motivations and how these relate to possibly dysfunctional behaviour, the more likely someone will be able to help you get there. Be sure to indicate what types you're considering for yourself /others and why you think you may relate to those types for the best results.
Please feel free to post on the main page (anytime) regarding questions about the types you’re considering or subtleties between them in order to try to understand the types better while you figure things out, but make sure this is phrased such that you are looking for understanding of the types themselves, not a typing.
Resources
Lastly, for deeper knowledge, here are some recommended books:
The Complete Enneagram(Beatrice Chestnut)
The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Riso and Hudson)
The Enneagram (Helen Palmer)
Character and Neurosis (Claudio Naranjo)
Thank you so much for your understanding and cooperation in helping to keep this community fun & engaging for everyone. Best of luck in finding your enneagram type!
2024.05.14 01:56 Significant-Usual-98 Noah The Pilgrim - Chapter 1-2: The Odyssey
Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.
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First Next
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.