Quotes on losing a friend to death

This is my last attempt for awhile. *Do Not message or add me just to unfriend me or ghost me. * Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a fiscally stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance will be a problem and you aren't willing to make it work then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one Must be free from venerial diseases and must be willing to get tested(will discuss) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise

I’ve recently been going though a potentially life changing situation that would end my career potential jail or prison time and Ive been having routine dreams/ ideas on suicide as in how I would do it where I would do it the steps I’d take before actually doing it and even dreams of going overkill to insure I die.
Some have been 2 guns one at my heart and one at my spinal cord with a rope around my neck to insure my death.
I don’t want my family or others to have to deal with my death in some of the dreams I even do it within a small blowup pool to make cleanup easy for law enforcement.
I’m not sure how to process these images these ideas I have a loving family but am deeply troubled and don’t know how to process it I feel I can’t talk to a therapist because I’ll be thrown in a hospital. Just struggling right now and don’t know where else to turn I don’t have many friends and definitely none I can discuss this with. Just lost idk why my brains coming up with all these things.

This will mostl likely be my last attempt in trying to find someone for awhile. * Do Not message me just to ghost or block me! Think it through before you message me!! I don't want to get emotionally hurt again.*
Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a fiscally stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance is an issue and you aren't willing to commit then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one MUST be free from venerial diseases (must be willing to get tested) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise

State your age. Anybody under 18 will be ignored, so don't even bother trying to approach me.
I'm writing from somewhere in Europe, a place that really isn't hard to guess. I'm looking for a friend, a companion if you will, long-term. No, I do not mean the romantic kind. I'm already occupied on that front with two lovely people and that's more than enough because I barely have time for myself, unless it is late at night (usually). Yes, that means we'll probably be talking late at night so if you're a night owl, bonus points. If you live in a timezone where this doesn't affect you, even better.
Stating things I'm fond of makes this feel more like a weird shopping list than anything else. I enjoy Crystal Castles, atmospheric black metal, and more. I appreciate fantasy, from lord of the rings to the souls series. Not really big into anime and manga anymore, or TV series. But I can chime in. History, spirituality, religion. Those are fascinating topics that I love, but many do not share this sentiment.
I just want someone to keep me company while I'm playing videogames or just existing, to talk with. I do not play many multi-player games at all these days, especially the popular stuff, I end up spending my play sessions in single-player environments. So if you are on PS5 we can sharescreen while you do your own thing or if you're not we can just voice chat on discord.
That brings us to voice chat. That is very important, and I'd want it from the start. Texting is dry, doesn't tell me anything about you nor does it make me feel like the conversation is even close to being "real", it makes me lose interest.
No, I'm not going to sit here and pretend you have to be super high energy and interesting/cool, I'm not that. You just have to be "normal", which I define as not having anything nsfw or weird intentions. Or anything politics related, I don't want that brainrot.
Don't comment. Send me a dm with your discord and an introduction, a voice message would be cool too. I can be very selective and not reply for any random reason, so account for that. I don't want to build any expectations.
See you.

I just joined reddit to write this post and I don't expect people to comment, I just wanted someplace to post about my feelings. I am sorry if my english isn't the best it's not my native language. TLDR: a former friend of mine abused me and my girlfriend psychologically and lied to me for about 6 years. Now everything escalated, the "friendship" ended and I regret texting him a very awful message.
I (20f), my girlfriend(20f) had a friend (19m) who we knew around 6 to 7 years. We went to school together and did everything together, on almost a daily basis. After school, 2 years ago we started mostly talking over discord with him because of college/work and last year everything changed. He started ignoring us most the time, we just thought he was stressed because of work but he ignored us for multiple weeks on end. We decided to talk to him about it and even offered him to just text us once on the weekend or something. But the more we tried to understand the more he ignored us, if we would ask him if he wants to go out he answered with "no" nor did he want to speak to us. Other people would probably just get over him but both us didn't want to lose the friendship until now. Last month he just started telling us that he doesn't care about our friendship and I kinda understood (as far as you can, in that situation) and I mentally gave that friendship up, because of his actions. My girlfriend wanted to continue the friendship and offered him a compromise, he can just meet up with us once in 2 months and he accepted it. Forwarding to a few days ago he just blocked us everywhere, except WhatsApp which baffled us, because he told us that he will not leave without saying a word. Before I continue I have to mention that I went through a toxic friendship that lasted 12 years and he knows about that. My girlfriend called him and later told me what he said because he didn't want to talk to me. In short, he blames me for everything because he jealous of me because I got together with my girlfriend and he seemingly had a crush on her for 4 years. Non of us knew that and we would never think about that because all he talked about was being gay and in love with every dude who talks to him. The effect of that jealousy was that he started to hate me and told her that he never saw our "friendship" as a friendship. I was so hurt, because he didn't even tell me himself and not only that, but he also hurt and used my girlfriend. I just cannot forgive him and I hate him so much. He deliberately did the same things my former best friend did to me to get me to end the friendship. And he begged my girlfriend to stay friends with him, luckily she is not stupid and said that she never wants to see him again. I on the other hand couldn't talk to him, he refused to talk to me and started telling my girlfriend that he is going to maybe explain on a short message what he felt but not really and before I get the opportunity to answer him he'll block me. And the whole situation made me feel like a burden and absolute horrible human being I just started to hate him even more and out of anger and disappointment I wrote him a very horrible message and blocked him and I don't really feel bad about it. And of course he had to complain about that to my girlfriend that via text and told her if she agrees on anything in that message she should just block him, which she did. That whole situation messed with my mental and I am even more scared that people around me secretly hate me. As bad as it sounds but I hope that men will never find happiness for what he did, not only to me but multiple people. I just wanted to get that off my chest and I hope I will never get hurt that badly again in my life. I hope the post ist coherent and in some way understandable.

Me and my friend just did and failed a duo difficulty 6 bot extraction mission. We are newish, only playing about 2-3 weeks but we're fairly decent and have a pretty good understanding of the meta and game and around level 30.
We spawned in near little off the edge of the mission zone and instantly got 3 drop ships. We killed them all exhausting every strategem while running to the extraction area and instantly got another 4 drop ships. We got overwhelmed by hulks and a few tanks and hordes of bots and spawn/die loop until we failed. We managed a total of 6/40 civilians saved.
Just 20 mins before that we did a difficulty 9 flag raise mission on 4 player and did every single optional, point of interest and fabricator on the entire map with practically no-to minimal deaths.
I just don't get this game sometimes.

There's possible trigger for transphobia as I might get into what my family has been like.
I've been wanting to medically transition for years now and have only been able to do more cis acceptable things like take pills to stop the monthly problem, cut my hair, wear masc clothes and all that.
I'm out to my partner and my friends but that's about it, last time I came out to my family it was a slow and painful struggle to get them to acknowledge my gender despite them "accepting" me, they'd cry to me about how they wished I was "just a lesbian", I wasn't allowed to correct them, but on the few occasions I would (because I would get really depressed about it) they'd make themselves into the victims all because I would say "I'm not a girl".
I eventually got kicked out a year ago, (it was more they were trying to threatening me to not transition but I packed my things and tried to leave, they forced me to stay at my grandparents place and then I just ran away from there because I didn't want to be trapped anymore). So fast forward to now, me and my partner live together and both have jobs, I got back into contact with my parents around Christmas, but I still don't let them know where I live.
These days I'm too afraid of coming out to people, my housemate got me a new job at her work but I feel unsafe to come out and risk losing that job, and although my family has been less awful they still don't see me as a man, I literally don't want to see the rest of my family as they said straight up awful and transphobic things to me.
I feel like it would be less risky for me if I just tried to medically transition without formally coming out as some people just wouldn't notice the changes and the people who would, would not be able to stop me as I'm already transitioning.
Idk I'm just tired of being stuck in this body, but I don't want to just lose what I've built up.

I (35F) want to leave my abusive husband (32M combat veteran) so badly but I don't know the best way to do it. I'm sorry this is so long but I'm begging for help, insight, any reassurance...
He says he used to have major anger issues but I never thought he would take them out on me. He has PTSD and a traumatic brain injury which makes his moods unpredictable.
I talked to his ex two days ago and she said he shoved her once, put his hands around her neck during a flashback, and also had a gun pointed at her during a flashback. He said they were engaged but she insisted they never were. She also said he was supposed to pick her up from the airport one time but he texted back saying he couldn't, because he wasn't sure if he was going to do something bad to her.
His abuse started when we moved in together while we were still engaged. I found out he had been on Onlyfans at the beginning of our relationship and just shortly before we got married... I was angry but I downplayed it and thought I could get over it. All it did was cause massive trust issues that have never healed and never will. He was subscribed to one of his exes and he also messaged one of the girls asking to meet just shortly after I stayed the week at his place for my birthday.
I spiraled mentally once the anger phase passed (severe depression and anxiety) and told him what I saw. He tried to deny it but when I said I knew his "pictures" he caved and said he wished I never told him and punched the headboard of our bed. He's my only source of comfort so I went to him countless times telling him I was still struggling with my trust issues and worried about whether he was still looking at other women, because he is subscribed to tons of women like that on Instagram and Tiktok. I started snooping looking for any evidence I could get so I could finally convince myself to leave him.
Everytime I confronted him about what I saw he made excuses and flew into a rage at me for snooping, screamed in my face, threw objects and furniture around (including our wedding rings and he broke my engagement ring in the process), punched walls, threatened divorce, demanded me to leave, or walked out without saying where he was going which made me call the police one time to look for him. I blamed myself because I was the one snooping and I told myself how would I feel if my partner constantly snooped on me? I blamed myself for everything and still kind of do. But he says it's his fault I'm like this and he just has to deal with the consequences.
Other times he says he has changed and it's my fault for getting in my head all the time, that my lack of trust is always so hard on him, and that my depression and anxiety are constantly dragging him down even though he says he's doing everything right to make me feel better. When I come to him to talk he usually sighs or treats it like a chore.
He says he beats himself up everyday for what he did and has apologized multiple times. But I never see any true regret. He told me "everybody else gets over their problems, why can't you?" He says he went through so much worse in the military than I have ever gone through and he got over his problems, so why can't I? That I need to "unfuck" myself and "everybody has depression."
One day when he came home I was feeling very low but he was in a bad mood already and he came at me, screaming that he's getting tired of me always being down and threatened divorce. I asked if he hated me and he looked at me and said in a really frightening way "if I hated you you'd be dead." That crushed me. Another time I got mad and said I was this way because of what he did to break my trust and he screamed at me multiple times to STFU, "waaah waaah waaaah you're always a Debbie downer" and threw in my face "you have no friends." He said he was done with the marriage but I talked him into staying because he has me so convinced the problem is me.
Other things... rough/forceful/demeaning sex... always saying "fuck you baby" in a cutesy way as a way to interact when we're doing our own things separately... slamming a controller down on my knee accidentally because he flew into a rage over losing a game... continuing to yell and saying he wasn't allowed to express anger even when I said it was scaring me... telling me once "I don't THINK I'd ever hurt you" (physically)... almost never helping with house chores and shopping... using me for money even though he makes more than I do with his disability payments... insulting my mother who helps us financially... trying to kick my cat one night when he couldn't sleep.
He's always so mean and critical of complete strangers when we go out and he acts like a macho narcissist who has everything figured out and he knows the right way about everything, like someone who is super opinionated to an obnoxious extent.
There's more but this is the worst of it all.
I read Lundy Bancroft's book asking myself if he's really that bad because 90% of the time he's good and loving. I know what I'm involved in and I know how much I've trauma bonded with him. But I've reached the point where I wake up every day in panic and despair knowing I'm still here and I want to get out. I already tried to leave before with a go bag and my cat but he talked me back. Some days I still try to convince myself the good times are worth staying for because I'm exhausted and I just want a good day for once. I've been miserable for months but I'm a pressure cooker now just waiting to blow. I'm falling apart.
I know I'm going to talk to a divorce lawyer and at least see if I have a case to have him evicted through a PFA. In that case he would be moving back in with his dad but he'd be close by. I could get the locks changed but I wouldn't put it past him to stalk me and try to hurt me (PFA or not -- he is suicidal anyway and has a lot of contempt for laws and the police), vandalize my car, or try to break into the apartment to hurt me or my cat. I don't even know if I would still be happy here where all these bad memories happened. And I wouldn't feel safe for myself or my cat everytime if I left the apartment.
The only other option is moving back in with my alcoholic narcissistic mother (my abusive alcoholic scizophrenic brother lives with her too) who doesn't know how to provide emotional support and hasn't been supportive at all throughout this marriage except financially. I would have to live in her garage, trust her not to let my cat loose if I go out, and make multiple trips back to my abusive husband still in the apartment to get all my belongings and furniture. He doesn't work, he's on school break now for summer so he's always here. I know I can get a police escort but they're not going to wait around for me to pack up the entire place. Almost everything is mine.
My husband might even just volunteer to leave and move back in with his dad like he has done before. I might not even need a PFA. I'm more afraid he'll try to hurt me if I actually get one versus if he just left by himself. I also don't know if he would offer to leave then just try to come back and hurt me before I could get the locks changed. The landlords constantly ignore the residents so I'd have to wait days or weeks for a lock change. Our lease ends next March.
I don't know what to do. All I want is to be by myself again with my cat in a safe place and it seems like no place and no escape plan I can come up with is entirely safe or secure. I'm at a loss but I can't keep living like this.

Republic 7^th Fleet, Centaurus Sector, 407 light years from Earth
RSS Vercingetorix, Independence-Class Carrier, 2174 A.D.
Vice-Admiral Mei Zhou had just finished making the final changes to the fleet’s reconnaissance patrol routes with her senior staff when the comm panel on her desk chirped, displaying an incoming comm request from Admiral Thompson. She quickly thumbed the pad being offered by her aide so that he could issue the orders they were just working on and turned to the rest of her staff. “Nice job, people. Let’s get to work. Dismissed.” As the staff filed out the door, she started entering the codes needed to decrypt the incoming comm channel and looked up to make sure the room was empty. She pressed the open channel icon, and Admiral Thompson’s holo image appeared in front of her desk, ending just below his waist and making it seem as if he was actually there, sitting.
“Mei, how’s your new ship treating you?” he asked, smiling. “She is an absolute beauty, Karl. I still can’t believe that she is mine.” She responded, returning his smile. “What can I do for you, Karl?” Thompson chuckled, and his holo image leaned back as he reclined in his chair. “Straight to business; I always liked that about you, Mei. Alright, here we go. We have received intelligence reports that the Commonwealth has begun evacuating one of their last remaining coreward periphery worlds that is now dangerously close to the expanded Insectoid border. We have also received an update from our spy drones in that same region that six Hive ships and almost four hundred cruisers that were patrolling their side of that border area have disappeared. This is too much of a coincidence, and I want you to detach a combat patrol and send them there.” Thompson finished speaking, and a flashing icon popped up on her comm panel, indicating that she had just received new orders. She tapped it and quickly scanned the new orders as the admiral waited. She looked up at his holo image. “Karl, I acknowledge receipt of the new orders and will implement them. Between me and you, why are we getting involved with this? The Commonwealth has a navy, and they should be fighting to protect their space. We can’t keep coming to the rescue and defending their members; we are already spread too thin as it is.”
Thompson nodded his head in agreement. “Mei, I agree with you in principle, but there are social and political considerations involved here. The near extinction of the V’rni has caused considerable turmoil among the citizens of the Republic. They know logically that we could not have stopped such an attack like that one, but the perceived failure to protect them or prevent the attack still weighs heavily on their souls. The Commonwealth is currently attempting to evacuate the Jaleen system, and they are one of the last surviving members that voted yes before our petition to join the Commonwealth was denied. It also doesn’t help that the Jaleeni are avowed pacifists and look like bipedal Newfoundland dogs. They are technically a bear-like species, but to humans, they look like humanoid dogs, and the government is unwilling to lose the popular support it currently enjoys by allowing the Jaleeni to be exterminated. I mean, look at these guys.”
Another flashing icon popped up on her screen a moment later, and she pressed it. It turned into a hologram depicting a typical Jaleeni family of a mother and father with a litter of six pups, and she couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the photo. They were wearing their traditional rough-spun linen clothes that made them look like dogs cosplaying as monks. They looked adorable, and she felt her heart melt while staring into their deep brown eyes, which looked sad. She understood the reasoning behind it, especially after the mass extinctions that occurred in Earth’s biosphere because of World War 3.
After the war, humanity had an awakening when they surveyed their destroyed world and came to terms with the disappearance of thousands of species and the near extinction of thousands of others. What followed were three generations of desperate measures to salvage what remained and a worldwide effort at habitat restoration and de-extinction efforts utilizing a wide array of methods such as back-breeding, cloning, and genome editing. Dogs were almost driven to extinction by the war as they were uniquely susceptible to the BioChem weapons that were developed and refined by the Eastern Coalition animal testing on poor innocent canine subjects. Between the Biochem weapons, owner deaths, abandonment, and starvation, almost 90% of the domesticated canine population and entire breeds were lost by the war’s end. Cats fared much better, but they still suffered a loss of almost half of their pre-war population, and a large percentage of the survivors reverted to a feral state. The result of all of this was an almost religious reverence for the preservation of sentient animal life on human worlds and a somewhat fanatical tendency of humans to take on the mantle of guardians for sapient alien species that resembled animals to them.
“Karl, I understand; I do. I just don’t like the fact that we are operating on so many fronts. Some of our fleets and task forces are patrolling areas far enough away that I worry about them getting reinforcements on time if they are attacked, and now my fleet is being partitioned to send a combat patrol almost three hundred light-years away from our current position. After the assault on the V’rn system, half of our combat power was recalled to Republic space to prevent the same thing from happening to us, and yet we are still being tasked with properly defending Eleani and Xenxin territory with half the ships we had before. Have they lost their damn minds at HQ?” She realized she was almost yelling at the admiral, and Mei took a deep breath, recognizing that her outburst was unbecoming of a Republic naval officer. She attempted to quickly apologize to Admiral Thompson. “Karl, I’m sorry that was uncalled for-“
The admiral raised a hand to stop her, an amused expression in his eyes. “Mei, I said the exact same thing to my boss as you did almost verbatim, and not as diplomatically as you, I might add. My concerns were addressed to my satisfaction, and I think yours will be when you get to your destination. There will be a task force joining you there, and I think you will be pleased. That is all I can say for now over the comms. You will lead the combat patrol to the coordinates listed in the orders you received, and the task force joining you there will fall under your command. I have a personal favor to ask of you. Please keep an open mind when you link up with the task force. You will rendezvous with Commodore Therax, and he is instrumental in our efforts to undermine the increasingly despotic Commonwealth government. More information about him and the Nekuli were added to your orders, make sure you review it. I took a big gamble on this, and I would be grateful if you did your best to make this collaboration work. That is all for now, and I wish you and your crews good fortune and godspeed, Mei. Take care of yourself.” The admiral finished speaking, and Mei noted the personal nature of his last few words, nodding an affirmative to his request.
“Admiral, I thank you for your words, and we won’t let you down. I need to issue the orders now to get there and link up with the task force on time. I’ll send a null space comm drone to the nearest relay to confirm our arrival and integration. Vice-admiral Zhou out.” As she leaned towards the comm panel to close the channel, she saw Admiral Thompson doing the same, and he gave her a wink and a mischievous smile before she pressed the icon, terminating the connection. She leaned back in her chair and blew out a deep breath. “Now what the hell was that all about?” She asked out loud to herself, as the confusing and secretive nature of her orders and the personal request of the admiral added to the uncertainty of what she was expected to do. She keyed her wrist pad and texted her aide to come back to her office for new orders. He was going to be livid that they just wasted half a day revising the patrol routes to maximize efficiency and increase their patrol range. A small smile crossed her lips as she waited. He had an obvious tell of his lower left eyelid spasming when he was mad despite displaying no emotions on his face, and she knew it drove him nuts that he couldn’t control it. Witnessing it was one of the small joys she had in her difficult job as vice-admiral, and she was looking forward to it.
Fifty-six hours later, her task force flashed out of null space at the designated coordinates and right on time. She felt a measure of pride as she watched her bridge crew go about confirming their location and verifying it with the navigational array and astrometric sensors. Once the navigator gave her confirmation that he verified their position, she turned towards the comms officer and ordered her to send a burst transmission with the pre-arranged code and waited for the response. A few seconds later, the comms officer raised her left hand and signaled receipt and confirmation of the code by the task force waiting in null space. An agonizingly long minute crawled along as she anxiously waited for her navigator to confirm the telemetry from his counterpart in the other task force as they verified their positions. The navigator activated the main viewscreen on the forward bulkhead as they waited. Suddenly, there were a multitude of exit flashes 200,000 kilometers from the bow of her carrier, and hundreds of warships appeared at a dead stop relative to her position.
Her jaw dropped as she took in the unexpected fleet in front of her. There were dozens of Commonwealth dreadnaughts, battleships, and heavy cruisers arrayed before her, as well as an additional one hundred and twenty light cruisers, destroyers, and missile frigates. On the flanks of the main formation, there were more exit flashes, and the bridge AI started categorizing them on the screen, and she saw that they were the new Eleani and Xenxin warships that she had been hearing about. They shared a design lineage with the Commonwealth ships, but there were definite differences that became obvious as they assumed their positions next to the Commonwealth navy ships. She was particularly intrigued by the Xenxin ships, as they seemed to be bristling with weapons, almost excessively so relative to their ship sizes. The Eleani ships seemed to have taken a different design philosophy, and they gave the impression of deadly speed and grace, and she was hard-pressed to spot any obvious weapons on their hulls despite the AI confirming that the ships were indeed well-armed.
There was another coded signal from null space that appeared on the comm station panel, and her comm officer turned to her. “Vice-admiral, we have received a coded message on the sigma frequency for your eyes only that requires biometric and voice verification to decrypt.” Zhou nodded and pressed a button on her arm panel, activating the privacy screen around her chair and feeling the pressure change as the bridge around her became opaque and silent. She pressed the biometric toggle on the panel, and a retinal scanner popped out of its alcove on the side. She leaned in and scanned her right eye first, then her left. An icon appeared on the screen, and she thumbed it as it flashed and confirmed the print. Finally, she spoke and addressed the bridge AI: “Suzy, please confirm the voice command for verification.” The AI answered immediately. -Of course, Vice-Admiral Zhou, please proceed.- “Zhou, one-red-seven-green-four-tango-alpha-zero. Execute.” -Voice command verified. Thank you, Vice-Admiral Zhou.-
A small holographic display popped up in front of her; the admiral appeared on the screen, and his pre-recorded message started playing. “Mei, I know all this cloak and dagger stuff seems excessive, but we couldn’t take any chances. The receipt of this message will activate a program in your bridge AI and allow it to take control of the new drone ships waiting for you in null space. They are a new class of upgraded null ships and are top secret. Your AI will anchor them to your task force, and they will follow you, remaining hidden in null space unless you absolutely need them.”
“There are also two troopships with them that are carrying a complement of two thousand Mark XII ATS Bio-Synths and an expeditionary brigade each of rangers and pathfinders in stasis. They are also to remain in null space unless circumstances require that you need them; they are an insurance policy for an ongoing mission in Insectoid space. The details of that are top secret as well and can be accessed with your AI. If the troopships are required for that mission, they are to be escorted by a detachment of null ships and sent there immediately. After you have met your task force counterpart, there are orders in this packet that are to be accessed by you both and executed. I have the utmost faith in you, Mei, and I can’t wait to take you out to dinner again when we can both coordinate our next leave together. Thompson out.”
The hologram message disappeared, and she waited a little longer to allow the blush from his last sentence to fade from her cheeks and suppress the smile that was trying to form on her face before she put on her command mask and lowered the privacy screen. The bridge crew was going about their usual tasks, trying hard not to seem interested in her top-secret message. “Comms, open a channel to the task force flagship, please.” The comm officer acknowledged the order, and a few seconds later, the Bridge of the Commonwealth flagship appeared on the viewscreen.
A Nekuli male was sitting in the command chair, resplendent in the uniform favored by Nekuli officers. He took a moment to look around her bridge before settling his eyes on her. He bowed his head slowly in a gesture of respect, which she returned in proper fashion. The proper courtesies having been observed, he raised his eyes to meet with hers and started speaking. “Vice-Admiral Zhou. May the ancestors grant you and your clan honor and good fortune. I am deeply honored to meet you, and I hope our integration is a successful endeavor. I now entrust the honor of myself and my crew to your safekeeping.” He remained stone still as he awaited her reply, and she tried to remember the proper return greeting that she had been studying during their trip here.
“Commodore Therax, the honor is mine, and I promise you that I shall never ask you or your crew to undertake any action that will bring dishonor to your clans and your ancestors. We are now joined as one; may our cause be just and pure.” She finished the response, and the gravity of what she just promised to someone she had never met before hit her hard; it felt almost sacred to her. Commodore Therax heard her proper reply, and he stood up, followed by the rest of his bridge crew. He addressed her again. “Our honor has been given, and we have received a promise to safeguard it in return. Our joining is now consecrated in the eyes of the ancestors, and you are now our clan leader. What are your orders?
She recovered from the ordeal of the emotionally charged exchange of vows and stood up to give her first order as clan leader to the Nekuli. “I request the presence of you and your senior staff aboard my ship tonight. I will prepare a feast to honor our new friendship and alliance. I have studied your cuisine, and I have found a selection of Earth cuisine that should suit your taste. It is called tartare and sashimi; I think you will like it.” Commodore Therax looked at her dubiously, and she had to stifle a laugh at his expression as she knew that he was imagining being forced to eat vegetables and overcooked meat out of politeness. She spoke quickly to assuage his fears. “Commodore, tartare, and sashimi are raw red meat and fish; I would never inflict vegetables and burnt meat on you or your crew; are we not friends?”
As his translator finished converting her words into his language, he smiled at her, baring all of his fangs in true happiness.

Hello, my name is Lililian Ashcroft and I am a trans-fem writer. Okay, so I am looking for LGBT+ Beta-Readers to look over a bunch of episode scripts for a series of LGBT+ Audio-Drama series that my Audio-Drama House is working on. I have a wonderful team of very dedicated and passionate LGBT+ artist and voice actors who deserve to have these series they are working so hard on to pay off and so these episodes I wrote really REALLY need to shine and so I would deeply appreciate ANY constructive feedback I can get. I run all of this out of Discord and my Discord name is lexshira. I have many disabilities that make long-form texting hard and so any potential beta-readers must be willing to engage in some level of Discord voice calling. My works are aimed at an older audience so ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS PLEASE. I will post a basic summary of the series being worked on below:
The Piper Wars S1 Synopsis: The fallen Death-Reaper known as the Piper has gone rogue and is leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. He has made an infernal alliance with the cursed heathen gods of old, throwing all of reality into chaos in an all or nothing bid to become the most powerful being in the Multiverse. In Wonderland, Alice must make a terrible trek to find her way home before the Red Queen can claim her head as Captain Hook sails deep into the forbidden waters to seize godhood over the Neverlands. On Earth, The Darling Children and the Lost Boys face a fearsome battle for survival against dark inter-dimensional forces.
The Piper Wars S2 Synopsis: Time is running out for the multiverse and all life hangs in the balance as Alice races against time to complete her training to become the new Witch of Gates. John Darling does battle against demonic forces in a desperate bid to save the tortured soul of a young boy as Wonderland is consumed in bloody civil war. In the Neverlands, Hook launches a savage campaign of conquest against Pan and the resistance forces of the Ten-Nations while on Earth the K.B.I. braces for multiversal conflict as the Piper continues to pave the way for cosmic calamity.
The Piper Wars S3 Synopsis: War has finally arrived as the Piper makes good on his deal with the Lilithian Order to collapse the worlds of Oz, Wonderland, and Neverlands onto Earth merging realities into one and sowing cosmic chaos. The KBI must organize all the nations of the world to wage a global war to hold back the forces of evil while trying to save a cursed child destined to become the Abyssal God of a new Earth born of blood and destruction. Can the armies of light prevail or will all of humanity be lost to the darkness.
The Piper Wars S4 Synopsis: The Piper War may have been won but at the cost of billions of lives and the precious blood of friends. Mankind now struggles to rebuild from the most destructive war in history but evil never stays gone for long and new would-be gods are already positioning themselves to take advantage of the chaos and confusion. Wait… Did someone say Dracula? Wait you heard Dracula? I heard Cthulhu. I think we both have been working too many night shifts.
The Eternal Chronicles S1 Synopsis: In the year 1974 on Earth #8193 a small group of wealthy kids have their lives dramatically changed forever, sending their destinies on new and unexpected paths, threatening to unravel key points in time as an evil queen of unspeakable power watches with bated breath and wicked schemes. As on Earth N.E.V. #11 The Nazis have won WW2 and conquered the world using technology stolen from a crashed Time-Ship from another dimension but in a final-desperate effort to fix history, the global resistance sends a messenger running through realities to deliver a message upon which the fate of a million worlds now hangs.
On Earth #8193 in the year 1995, a lonely and workaholic therapist is assigned the three most deadly psychopaths in the world at the time... Psychopaths everyone else at the Ashcroft Asylum has failed to rehabilitate. In a world protected by extraordinary superheroes, evil rises to meet the challenge and the apocalypse is never far behind... soon there may be no tomorrow left for anyone. Oh, and did I mention on Earth #8189 a group of friends with superpowers must make a deadly trek in search of sanctuary from the zombie plague that has ended their world and turned them into prey.

My now ex job(food factory)has fired me because I kept complaining about a line lead who has harassing me and calling me fat ass, weak man, unintelligent man and whole bunch of other out of pocket names in Spanish thinking I did not know what he was saying. He been doing it from day one I started working there and at first I let it slide because I try not start even more work hostilities even more than what is all ready there at work or respond to the bulling or better yet out of pocket thing someone be saying. However it got to the point where I wanted to hurt the guy because I told him many times to stop fucking with me but he wouldn’t listen so I reported him to the higher ups. Nothing was being done about it so I told the guy to his face one day that if he didn’t want to fight me stfu and stop fucking with before something terrible going to happen to you. He stop bothering me for awhile but then started it back up later on so I took it up even higher ups but when I did they said I was terrible at my job and I can’t do my job that I was shit at it and that I complain to much about others but can’t take responsibility for my own work and that is when I lost it. So I got into a heated argument with the higher up about showing me respect and you can’t talk to me like I’m a child we are both grown ass man who do you think you are? So I cuss him out about his behavior so he hit me with the power trip I send your fucking ass home and document you for your bad behavior. I look him in the eyes and respond with, so you going to write me up but won’t do anything about the other guy? For harassing me and making a hostile work place? Fuck you I’m going home for the day I’m not putting up with this bullshit! Got a call the next day saying I’m fired for cussing out a supervisor and a HR lady which I never did is one of the craziest part. The HR lady me and her have a very honest conversations so Ik the supervisor is a full of shit unless she lied to them as well idk anymore. I change the name of the company to factory below.
“You are not allowed on the property. They are going to cut your lock. They provided a very detailed report of what happened when they moved you from the dough room. That behavior really isn't acceptable at all. They noted you do not have take responsibility for any of your actions. You always blame someone else, or your tools, or the equipment. That is an issue in a work environment. Everyone messes up, that's how we learn.”
“The factory stated you got hostile with the HR coordinator and the production supervisor on why you were not in the dough room. Working with factory an associate can be moved around where they are needed. And using any type of swearing against any factory or temp associate is not tolerated.”
(Side note) I have high standards and I don’t like to joke or play around at work. I’m not there to make friends or make people happy I’m there to do a job make sure everything is running smoothly and go home. I’ve never apologies for who I am and been unapologetic for it all. I don’t take my personal life to work and work life home Ik how to separate the two once I hit the clock in and out machine. Lots of people hate me for how I am but I could care less as long as my job gets done. You are hired to get a job done so get it done. ( side side note) my grandfather always told me that A man should get a job done no matter what if he was hired for it. When he was on his death bed he told me to not stop going to work and keep moving forward don’t cry for him and be happy and just move forward. Yea it was really hard but that man kept me going. I understand not everyone can just move on and whatever but at least separate your lives Best you can. I understand what I said earlier will get lot of people mad but I’ll live with it tell I die. I’m looking to sue the company for loss of wages, emotional distress and hostile work environment. Maybe discrimination since they know I have a disability… talk to me people. How should I move forward!!?? Am I wrong?? I’ve never been so humiliated at a job before and felt betrayed that I just lost it.

So, you said Lord Nicholas has no personality, which is true lol, but since I'm the devil's advocate, I took that as a challenge. Make yourself comfortable for a long read. Have some popcorn.
Why is this guy more of a tragic character, rather than a villain? And how does a man lose identity, and becomes a monster through desperation? I'll answer this for you below.
• Throughout Plague Tale Innocence, there are various signs that although he is personally close to Vitalis (no use of titles or formalities when speaking to each other) he is the execution, and not the mastermind behind the plans. For example, when Hugo's Macula was to be tested, he urged Vitalis on to put an end to the plague already, they are not here to play games.
• In the very same chapter, we get a little insight on what he believes and thinks about the conflict between the Inquisition and the De Runes. He doesn't understand why Beatrice De Rune resists their persuasion for information regarding the Macula, since their goals are shared -> ending the Plague. Ultimately, he blindly believes Vitalis wants to control the Plague to save them. And he does anything, ANYTHING to make that happen.
Commit genocide against peasants, and in the end, even go as far as killing Hugo.
Now, let's take a little turn to make a background check for this guy. Or at least what is hinted, and what can be assumed with intuition and theories.
• Like I mentioned before, him and Vitalis are personally close, and in the preultimate chapter of Plague Tale: Innocence, after his death, guards talk about him in the city. They are confused why Vitalis hasn't sent anyone for his search (I'll get to that one later), since he was his Protégé. This alone in itself wouldn't mean anything, but right after that a guard added "Maybe he found himself another Protégé" regarding Hugo of course.
Since this game is about innocence and children, it's almost safe to assume that Nicholas likely got taken under Vitalis' wings just as Hugo was now in the present. That would explain why they are close, and why Nicholas blindly trusts his master. Another dialogue backs this up, between the Arch Bishop and Vitalis. "Puppets like you will kneel and beg me to save them." and look who appears and kneels right there and then? Lord Nicholas. This is my theory, I can back it up but it isn't 100% surely true of course. Take it with a pinch of salt please.
• Now, time to get to why Vitalis didn't send anyone after Nicholas' disappearance... We saw nothing of the two months Hugo spent in the Bastion, but based on the Cathedral's state, it's safe to assume things didn't go that well with controlling the Macula. The plan was to get Hugo through the threshold finally, so that the Conjuration can begin. (Note to self: another essay later about that one). Although they tried to push Hugo through with hurting his mother, it didn't work. Because of this, Vitalis tasked Nicholas with taking Hugo to his sister, to end her life. This is simple, but it doesn't stop here.
In the chapter Blood Ties (where we control Hugo), we already meet an impatient Nicholas who wants to put an end to the Plague. Not only that, but let me get to one crucial sentence told by Vitalis. "Nicholas... You cannot understand." This hints at the disagreements between the two, and that Nicholas is not indulged in how this should be done. Nicholas tries to help Vitalis up, but he rejects the help too. It's quite symbolic for the one-sided trust between the two. Due to this growing mistrust, and how Vitalis didn't expect Nicholas to come back after his mission later on, to me it seems like Vitalis cut the ties and sent him exactly to his death to get rid of him.
• Vitalis' plan was never to get rid of Hugo once they pass the threshold ("I have a lot to teach the Carrier, and his friends."), and knew well, that Nicholas has no chance against Hugo and Amicia with the rats alongside them. He sent the man who trusted him the most to his death, and with that also chose his ultimate protégé - Hugo. It's also likely that Nicholas' mistrust grew because his position in the hierarchy was compromised, since it's likely Vitalis got obsessed with Hugo, and Nicholas almost realized he is played with. There is also the idea, that Vitalis sent him away to actually save him from the white rats he meant to send on the crowd anyway. Anyway, Vitalis is for another essay...
• The betrayed, the sacrificed. Who is he? There is absolutely little we know of him, except for his title and occupation. What always speaks in Plague Tale: Innocence though, is the design. I mean look at that drip- sorry.. In "A Making of Plague Tale: Innocence" the creative developers mention the importance of faces, and overall pure, intuitive impressions we get of our characters.
• There is only one character whose face we never see, and that is Nicholas. That doesn't only play as a psychological trick to make him more terrifying, but also hints at certain points. First of all, his robes are Dominican. This is historically fitting (although there were no dominican knights) since Dominicans were those entrusted by the Church to handle trials against heresy and begin inquisitions. This also hints that he is very religious and dedicated to serving the (assumed) good. I know, no way. Let's not forget about how faded out it is, or bloody. In NO way he is a good guy, but a tragic believer? Likely. Under the robes is the armour, which is hit all around. It's no news we talk about a very experienced and efficient knight who also happens to be serving Vitalis (NOT the Church! Explained in another essay, chill.). Knights start their training at 7, and only nobles are in for the job, obviously. I made the connection, that since he likely knows Vitalis from his childhood, and his training also began when he was 7 years old, and his name was Nicholas...
Side note: In medieval times, children were named after Saints to inwoke their blessing, in this case, among many things, protecting children.
It's likely that he himself, just like those he hunts, was an orphan, perhaps even a sinner, who had to be saved by none else, than Vitalis. Give it a thought, maybe he was a lost little boy like Hugo, whose innocence was stolen way too early. With how Plague Tale likes to play with irony and parallels between characters, I don't see this as unlikely.
• All in all, he is what his occupation is, and nothing human. He is the machine that serves. The cross, the judgement. We cannot see his face, because he has no identity except what Vitalis gave him. His role, his title, his mission (perhaps even name). As it can be seen, Hugo too, was dressed in robes showing the Inquisition's sign, like a mark of ownership over him.
• From the very start of the story, he was the representative of that time's barbaric cruelty, unforgiving, misplaced judgement. And as though from the children's perspective he was a monster from the very beginning, how did it go down? As I said before, he has no identity except his committment, and through that his morals, ambitions are shown. At the very start, they ambushed the De Rune estate, and we CANNOT know, if the violance was planned beforehand or it came due to Robert's resistance.
People were taken hostage for questioning, the goal was to capture Hugo, the Carrier, and Beatrice, the only one who can help them understand the plague's origins. It was bloody, but after this chapter, you can hear guards clearly say "capture children" and not just Hugo. Now, unbelivably, I don't think he wanted Amicia bad at the start. They confront each other in the English camp for the second time (where he paid a ransom for both of them), where he tries to negotiate with her to give them Hugo and stop running. Later his methods change, telling the plain truth that there is nowehere for her to go out there (These methods of convincing show a lot of personality and insight especially in the boss fight).
Later on, it's mentioned Vitalis is going hard on him but "he is used to it". Again, their shared history is hinted. The hunt for Hugo is fruitless still, and the plague is spreading day-by-day.
Next we hear from him, is in the chapter where we visit the city with Amicia. Or rather, that he is not exactly participating in the mission killing the sick. Since him and Vitalis disagree with methods of solving the Plague, and he is occupied with catching Hugo, there is a possibility this order of slaughter was carried out without his consent. Though, this is a high take and it would be totally in character to do such a task in the means of self-preservation.
Amicia's visions of him from Penance is not reliable, but at the very same time she clearly dreamed what happened and it's likely she mixed reality with hallucinations from exhaust. If, the hallucinations were true, that means Hugo did hear Amicia, but Nicholas directly diverted his attention from her and led him away.
It's hard to speculate if he did this to let nature do its work, or to actually show mercy, which is equally possible, since it was clear from the beginning that even though she killed his men, he knew she is simply running and kills as a means to survive.
Now, as I explained earlier, many things go down when Hugo resides in the Bastion, and we can only guess what that causes. I mentioned Nicholas' growing distrust, now let me introduce you to the psychological denial he experiences during the boss fight, along with his reflections pointing at the children. The man, becoming the monster. The fire (another essay since fire in Plague Tale is symbolic) causing him to destroy himself.
In the chapter Remembrance he goes to the Château d'Ombrage along Hugo, to ensure the boy passes the threshold with killing his sister, with this enabling Vitalis to pass as well. At first, Nicholas is quite calm and confident, sending Hugo to kill her "Go, and do what has to be done.". Interestingly, despite this, he still has his sword prepared, which shows he still doesn't trust Hugo. Later on, he knocks Arthur out, but doesn't kill him senselessly, despite the fiasco at the English camp. He takes Amicia to Hugo, and now threatens him to kill her, or else he kills his mother in front of him. After that, he tells him, if Hugo does as he tells him so, maybe Vitalis keeps him by his side.
This could hint that only by accomplishments such as this, and proving devotion, can one remain important in Vitalis' eyes. Also, that maybe, Nicholas had to go through something similar, "She means nothing to you now".
Doubts and frantic impatience take hold, which ultimately lead him to take matters into his own hands. He decides to kill her, himself. As he pushes Hugo away, she calls him a bastard, which he then turns back at her, to question her morality and self-righteousness. She betrayed him, that is why he gave himself up. It can be perhaps far-fetched, but this also can count as self-reflection already. Betrayal -> causing giving up, which happens later to him too.
After Arthur "takes care of him" (not exactly...) and the siblings reunite, Nicholas wakes up and this time, immediately kills Arthur. The death is not just a shock value as many believe, it also shows the already progressing monster stepping forth, and losing humanity entirely.
The boss fight has three phases. His methods at provoking the children, and self-reflect change and become way more intense with time.
In the first phase, he tries to separate them and tells Amicia that he knows it must be difficult to live in the Carrier's shadow. Also, that they are terrified. He is poking at her most vulnerable place, their biggest fear, which's "face" is ultimately him. Also, reminding Amicia of her biggest desire, that is to be acknowledged by her parents. Especially this can count as self-reflective, since as I said earlier Nicholas likely noticed Hugo is slowly replacing him in Vitalis' eyes. The wish to excell, and be acknowledged for the devotion is a deep scar this character could carry. He also reminds them of how their father died, to remind them of honour, which Nicholas obviously has a twisted sense of.
In the second phase, his first voice line shows surprise and fear, and anger in response to those feelings. He is more reckless and aggressive too. Here, again, he manipulatively reminds them how little they can do, and threatens them. This is both calculated and instinctual, since he says such things to bring the children out of their hiding places, but at the very same time also because he is slowly losing himself. There are also lines which can be reflective to his beliefs and assumptions based on himself, such as: "Your sister won't be able to save you child.... You are alone." There were already connections made between how Vitalis saved him, and if one puts it all together, this line shows how he doesn't believe in the siblings' bond, because his own bond with Vitalis broke, and Nicholas is (alike to Hugo) alone. Or there is also the line "What do you think you can do? You are nothing. [...]" I wanted to highlight this line because Plague Tale (among many other things) is about the helplessness one faces trying to protect loved ones, and/or trying to rewrite their fates. The fact that Nicholas dehumanizes them entirely, shows he knows the fact one, them or him, cannot change the course that has been set, but he is still in denial trying to fight it (a lot like Amicia in Requiem, by the way. Also, fire (this is why that needs another essay....).
In the third phase, he becomes uncharacteristically reckless and desperate, where he succumbs to the wrath and, his fate. "Come to me, come into my arms my dear children." His sanity decreases and he knows death is unavoidable. The question left is whenever he can bring them down with himself or fails. And failure, is unacceptable. He is better dead, than failed. "I will teach you the meaning of sacrifice" this line shows that likely, he accepted his last quest knowing well he is going to die probably. That he rather burns himself, bring hell, than letting go. He keeps shouting the motto of his order, because that is the only thing that he clings to. It's pathetic and forced, inhumane. "[...] We'll die together" <-> "I will boil your blood until it spurts from your eyes", "You are going to pay, [...]" by this time, he keeps switching tactics at approaching and luring them out, frantic and monstrous. His words mean nothing by this time and desperation takes hold. What line of him is the purest, rawest, and most honest, between all the threads and claims, self-convincing attempts to maintain devoted is this: "The pain... To feel oneself alive... And deliver death." This line might seem like one among the many terrible threats, but it in fact shows his deepest belief. That is, of pain and life. Sacrifice and death. That those who live, have to kill, and that is what it means to exist in this world.
• In Plague Tale Innocence and Requiem, we see Amicia's development into a murderer who follows similarly blind committments.
She ultimately becomes, what she condemned, and what caused her great misery. What, in the end, she herself becomes if Hugo doesn't lead her on the right path. A monster.
So, to sum it all up, Lord Nicholas represents the human being of that time, whose identity is what he serves, and nothing else.
It makes one selfless, righteous, but at what cost? Violence spreads from one person to another, while everyone tries to save what is precious to them. Hope this helped seeing him as more human and with more personality. Cheers. A few more points I couldn't exactly integrate are the following:
• A few things showing the underlying morality and plain intentions: at first he tried to negotiate with both Robert, Amicia, and Beatrice as well. He condones stealing entirely. He doesn't kill Arthur at first.
• In the concept art he is left handed. In Middle Ages, left handed people were considered sinful, since it was the "devil's hand". This added with the self-punishing- self-destructive-Catholic mindset, added with his devotion, signs that he is penitent, and does what he should for a greater good, a salvation, and carries the burden of "sacrifice".

I genuinely need some kind of advice from anyone about what I can do or anything when it comes to my faith in God.
For context I’ve been a Christian ever since I was a kid. There were other times where I struggled with faith but managed to get through it. But now it’s worse than ever to be honest.
As some examples, I’ve been praying to God almost every day for him to change something in my life or give me a nice Christian friend who has some things in common with me. The reason I pray for these two things almost every day is because it’s what I want and as well they’re things I really need in my life to be honest, things I struggle with or haven’t had in a very long time. I don’t see why it’s wrong to be praying for these kinds of things.
But it’s like no matter what I do or how many times I pray none of it has happened, it’s been almost a year now. It’s causing me to lose the most of my faith because I feel like he isn’t listening to me or that he just doesn’t care for some reason, I don’t know why but it just makes me sad and feel like he doesn’t want anything good for me.
The other thing is I’ve been getting this really terrible temptations to turn to other things, which I don’t actually want to, but the temptation is there and I think it’s mainly because as I said I feel like he’s just not there for me at all, but either way I don’t like it because it’s not how I want to live the only issue is it’s really hard to resist and I pray to God he would help me with it but nothing improves. I know it says in the Bible that “you aren’t tempted anything you can’t handle” basically, but idk… also, I’ve had a hard experience with some mental health struggles which caused me a lot of doubt in God too.
I don’t know if maybe I’m praying wrong or asking for the wrong things, or if maybe my faith is just somehow too weak to make any actual difference..
I just in general feel like he isn’t there for me and it makes me sad and disappointed, and kind of depressed because of course I want him to be there and actually help me with the things I struggle with for once. It’s caused me to lose so much faith in him and it’s barely hanging on by a thread every day to be honest. Any advice or words would be helpful. Thanks.

I keep going back and forth every day between wanting to leave and thinking I should just try harder to fix things. I don’t know if we should take a break, split up fully, or try to overcome the issues. I can’t tell if he will ever change. I keep wondering if he is actually emotionally abusive or if I’m just manipulating myself into blowing his behaviors out of proportion and ignoring my own. I’m just so stressed out all the time and I’m afraid if I keep putting up with it I will damage my brain. I’m already a heavy people pleaser and I fear I’m losing my independence. I’m also just afraid to live a life without him. I have this future built up in my head and that’s part of why I can’t let go. I moved with him to California from Massachusetts away from everything I’ve ever known. My family, friends, job, car, etc.. I’ve been trying to build something here but it’s slow and our situation is way too stressful. I’ve tried to deal with it and get over it for the past year but it’s only gotten worse. It’s like he’s a different person, like the stress of our situation has taken a toll on him. Although, he has had these behaviors since long before this, so I can’t tell if it’s getting worse.
I’m also afraid that if I do decide I want to move out and live alone he will say I am quitting on us or that I’m regressing. He doesn’t understand that I have tried so hard to make it work. I don’t want to leave him lonely.

I say this as your friend and fellow rabbit hole diver.
Is there some sketchy shit going on? Absolutely, that’s why we’re all here. But not everything is a symbol/metaphoconspiracy/breadcrumb.
Pause for one second. Which one of these seems more likely to you:

1. Drake and his goons separated a disabled man from his caretakers, sexually assaulted him, and then extorted him so he wouldn’t tell anyone.
   
2. Drake spent an hour chilling with a disabled journalist and snapped a few photos to make this dudes day and also make Drake look like a decent guy.
   

I’m sorry but the CA article seems very credible. It’s a miracle that dude is alive and he seems to care a lot about what he does. Also seems absolutely likely that EP is taking advantage of the internets obsession with this mess to troll/gain clout/milk more money from this. To me, that is more likely than one of the most famous people in the world sexually assaulted a disabled man for no reason at all.
You’re gonna lose credibility, and not solve a damn thing, if all you do is chase threads and connect loose dots.
Skeptics need to have skepticism. If you give credit to every “coincidence” or “allusion” you’re gonna lose the plot. Unfortunately kendrick has fueled this fire by layering in like 17 entendres and hidden meanings into each lyric, but you have to acknowledge there’s gonna be some threads that don’t lead anywhere and dots that just don’t connect.

I have a crush on my guy friend and he might not feel the same. I think I may need to go no contact with him to get over him. I take it as protection everytime God didn’t give me the guy I wanted we weren’t meant to be. But I’ve known him for years and I just really like him and the idea of us being together I mean I have for some time and just really wish it could happen for me but it doesn’t seem like it will. We are both in our mid 20’s btw. Him and I have never been in actual relationships and just date people or have had flings. It just hurts to think about when he would actually take a girl serious she’d be the one and it won’t be me. Because guys are so selective and they can have fun and mess around with whoever with no strings attached but eventually he’ll take someone serious & I’ll pretty much lose him forever UGH. Like how do I even prepare myself to see him with another woman? 😭

I have traveled a bit lately and have gotten behind on my thank you post, my deepest apologies, I know how it feels to send something out and not know if it ever got to its destination!
I deeply love this sub and am still amazed at how talented, kind and awesome you all are.
u/_pickupthepieces thanks for the Owl card and exchanging happy mail with me. Yes this week we have had plenty of sunshine!! Although temps are still yo-yoing.
u/amyt13 thank you so much for the Madeira postcard. Sounds like you had an amazing time there. I took my family there for New Year's Eve one year. I book a excursion on a boat with drinks and snacks, I few minutes before midnight they sail out in to the harbor. The fireworks display was truly AMAZING, they were going off in sync 360 degrees all around the boat.
u/articfox_12 thank you for the handmade postcard. Very clever idea to laminate and send. We did and will have a wonderful vacation. I like to travel about every month from March to Nov...
u/babyraspberry x 2 thank you for the Spring mail postcard and all the spring themed ephemera, good for you for taking Mable out for so many walks. I bet she loves it. Thank you too for the Munro's Books postcard, I love the Carl Sagan book quote. I really want to visit Vancouver Island, I hear their gardens are stunning!
u/cake-at-midnight thank you for the thank you postcard, I am glad you liked the birthday card I made for you :) I love my Cricut, I don't use it nearly as much as I should. You can create some amazing things with it!
u/cassius1213 thank you very much for the Awesome Eclipse postmarked postcard. Love that they actually created a specific postmark for the total eclipse.
u/DanerysWon lol love the ballerina hippo postcard, thanks so much, sounds like you had an amazing time at Disney. What a fun place to honeymoon too!
u/DaniGeek what a beautiful hummingbird card you found for me on your treasure hunt! And so fitting as I just saw my first hummingbird yesterday, finally!! Thanks for your book recommendations, it just so happens that I have not read Life of Pi but I just got tickets to see the theater production! I am trying to decide if I should read the book or watch the movie before I see the play. Thoughts? Redwall is a series I read with my son years ago. and the Dresden files is something my son also recently suggested.
u/doughe29 thank you for the Holland MI tulip card. I went to the tulip festival a few years back, very lovely. Yes, Cincy Zoo has a wonderful display of tulips, do come one year. It also has a great Holiday light display in Nov/Dec that is worth seeing.
u/duygusu thank you for the sparkly Awesome thank you card. I am glad you liked the card I sent, wishing you a quick settling in process. Thanks too for the pretty pansy sticker.
u/ez330 thank you for the Ohio Eclipse postcard. Did you not get to see it? We drove up to Dayton to the Air Museum and the clouds parted at just the right time for us to enjoy the majority of the eclipse. Love all the cool space themed stamps you used.
u/Ginger_ninjah thank you for the sunflower mini card and all the fun stickers. Sounds like you have been busy, still loving your Ninja food processor? LOL still shredding cheese?
u/HexagonalRainbow x 2 Thank you for the Legoland postcard. I could see how it would be really easy to spend way more money than intended at the Brick Factory. And a outlet store too - yikes! How many things have you built with what you bought though? I bet a ton of cool things. Secondly, thanks for the Mount Fuji postcard, very pretty! How did you qualification go for work?
u/keqani thanks for the Krieg postcard, love all the cute stickers you adorned the postcard with!
u/libertyprogrammer x 3 thank you for the Cincy OH postcard. Hmmm Leicester UK in 2044? Not sure I would make plans that far ahead lol. Thank you for the Houses of Parliament postcard, I walked around that area so often, I will respond to your update soon. Believe it or not I just today got your postcard you sent from Kruger National Park! It is dated Dec 20th. Can't believe it took so long to find its way to me. Awesome that you saw so many amazing animals!!
u/Mediocre_Radish_7216 thanks for the wonderful and cute snail mail postcard. You should do a scavenger hunt sometime, I had so much fun with it.
u/melhen16 Thank you for the National Postcard Week rainbow postcard, and thanks for the history lesson on the birth of the postcard, wonder what John Charlton would think about the industry he started?!
u/Mysteryvus x 2 thank you for the beautiful lemon thank you card, it is really very pretty. I am glad you liked the bday card I made as I thought about the things you mentioned you liked. Thanks to for the travel postcard, I really do like to travel. I am calling the travel agent my friend used tomorrow to start the planning of our Australia/NZ trip :) wish me luck!
u/ninayjang thank you for the Rome postcard, I love those art type postcards. I will tell you more about my NM trip soon.
u/PinkPengin thank you for the birds and penguin upcycle postcard. Good to hear from you my friend. I too have a pile of things I am supposed to finish up......I keep getting distracted with making travel plans, people visiting, or one of many other things that grabs my attention.
u/princecowboy thank you for the pen and ink dog face postcard. You were absolutely right, by the time I got this you had made it to your 100 flair - Congrats again. And by now you have received my 100 flair congrats card LOL.
u/purpleroots thank you for the CRAVE postcard with all your doodles :)
u/raspberrypoppyseed thank you for the awesome Disney Gang postcard. Did you have an amazing visit? Did you see any of the parades? They are one of my favorite things to do there.
u/rennbrig thank you for the beautiful artwork postcard of "Shaw Island Meadow" it really is so pretty, so glad you reached your sending goal :)
u/TheFeistyFox thank you so much for my sticker bomb scavenger birthday card, it was fun getting something to stretch my bday celebration this far :) thanks for the washi samples too, love the watermelon!!
u/TyeDyeAmish thank you for the bull fighting postcard, I would have to agree, the bulls probably don't like it! It is not something that I would want to see. I have heard how they are done and I just don't think I could watch it.
u/zenshark33 x 2 thank you for the Happy Spring orange flowers postcard, I have moved several times and the think I like the most is getting rid of things so I don't have to move them, so I am right there with you! Thank you for the purple flower Random Happy Mail postcard, always fun to get unexpected happy mail!
u/Zznightzzz thank you for the birthday postcard from my Scavenger hunt! I loved hearing all about your island and the people there. No problem on its delay in getting sent, been there, done that!! I love that you sent it. I still have one other person that I have not received from so if it makes you feel better you aren't the last one :)
u/wabisabi_sf, u/ninajyang and u/littlemermaidxx thank you so much for the Meet Up postcard from the SF stamp show. What a great venue to meet up and get together!!

What happens after you die? Is there a religion in the game I should look into? All jokes aside what really happens when you die on a planet/ your ship gets destroyed in space? Im playing on whatever is considered just the “normal” difficulty and i haven’t died yet but have come close a few times due to pirates. I also wanna try to fly into the sun which will definitely kill me but if that means i lose all progress i probably should avoid the temptation best i can. How serious is the death penalty in this game?

So I lost my honor mode awhile ago, nbd I was going to finish it out anyways with the one save rule.
Flash forward and I am in the inquisitors chamber, the e fight isn’t going well, and there’s is no way to turn it around. Again no big deal i saved before entering so after I lose I can leave and come back later. Mostly keeping the one save rule so I can’t save scum rolls.
Anyways my friend ask to get food so I close out the game mid fight and when I come back … I’m permanently stuck in that battle, where it is not going well because the game saved there.
Since I can’t win, the reload on death keeps taking me to the middle of the battle
Is there any thing I can do or am I screwed?