Doxycycline hyclate work for acne

Title. I've been using Paula's Choice azelaic acid for a few years and just picked up Finacea gel 15%. It's surprisingly drying and felt almost gritty when I applied it. The Paula's Choice seemed like it wasn't working as well for my hormonal acne, so I'm hoping bumping up to 15% will help. Has anyone made the same switch and seen good results?

Curious to know what medications and supplements others are taking and what you’ve found the most helpful.
I currently take daily: Birth control (generic yaz) Metformin 1000mg Daily multivitamin Vitamin D (always deficient even with multi vitamin)
Not daily (because I’m bad at routines) but a few times a week I take ovasitol and L-glutamine. The latter is not totally for pcos but helps with ibs bloating and anecdotally seems to help with cravings.
I’m prescribed but not currently taking 50mg spironolactone. I have some excess face hair and experience really oily hair and body acne. Debating starting it again for those reasons but I struggle with muscle cramps and dry skin from it and am not sure I really need it.
I also have NAC supplements that I used to take before I was prescribed metformin last year. I plan to start adding NAC in again because I feel so inflamed and puffy and NAC seemed to really help with that in addition to helping some obsessive behavior and thoughts. I’m only nervous as I have seen a study that suggested NAC and metformin are effective on their own but have reduced effectiveness when combined. On the other hand I see so many people on pcos taking them together with positive results.
All together I often get supplement fatigue by trying to take all of these thing and monitor effects! That being said I am really struggling with my weight and pcos symptoms lately and am feeling desperate for some progress so feel like maybe it is all worth it. Does anyone else get overwhelmed with all the meds and supplements? What do you take and what works for you?

Why do I get so fucking irritable if I don’t eat? If I go over 12 hours without eating I turn into the worst person alive. To be honest I think he’s the real me because they say the real you is what comes out at your worst. Any narcissist can be nice when all their excessive needs are met. A good person is good all the time.
I do not have the money to eat on a regular basis. I’m not a fucking rich kid. My parents pretty much disowned me so I’ve been totally on my own since 2019 scraping by on minimum wage like the toxic life draining parasite I am.
I don’t physically feel hunger or thirst. I only notice the symptoms when I start shaking, cant remember what I was doing five minutes ago, get super clumsy and irritable. Irritable isn’t even the word. Evil is.
When i finally do find something which isn’t often to eat i calm back down, don’t shake anymore and my brain works again.
Unfortunately when I haven’t eaten around the 12 hour mark I get nasty. I am an inconsiderate douche because I get all spaced out and forget things. I do douchebag things like leaving the fan in my room on which pisses off my roommate because he hates the noise. I get clumsy and usually end up hurting myself trying to do the simplest things because I’m a stupid worthless piece of shut who needs to be locked up. Like this morning when all I was trying to do was get a towel from the cabinet and ended up hitting my head on the cabinet (right in the eye) then screaming because of how much it hurt. Then getting acne medication in my eyes during my skin prep which had me screaming for 10 minutes while I tried to rinse them out.
Then hating myself and feeling like the most disgusting thing in the world because when i go too long without eating anything I sweat uncontrollably and kept sweating through everything I put on, fucking smelling like vinegar and cat piss afterwards and having to shower AGAIN because I wasn’t going out like that.
Yeah I’m ok now that I had scrambled eggs. Because I’m no longer uncomfortable and the shaking and sweating has mostly stopped. But no one’s a monster on a full stomach. I’m pretty sure ever deals with these same symptoms and is just fine. They’re just better and raking with it than me. I’m just weak. Or a narc. Maybe both.
I got yelled at by my roommate which I of course deserved. I’m on the verge of being kicked out. Why can’t I just be a decent fucking person?

I’m F18 and currently stuck in a very difficult relationship with my parents. The problem is mostly my mother, who tries to control everything I do. Some people I’ve talked to about this situation have said she’s a narcissist. My mother has never been physically abusive but regularly verbally abuses me (since I was 11) and my father. Once I started getting into my teenage years and becoming my own person, things got worse with me in my mom as she slowly lost more and more control over me.
The types of things she’s done to me include isolating me from all of my friends by taking my phone and I wasn’t even allowed to go to sleepovers, parties, or any of my friends homes. This has led me to develop problems with substance abuse and self harming as well as other mental health problems.
When I turned 18, I started to say no to her more and pushed for more freedom which let me have my phone in my room because I was not even allowed access to my phone on school days until this March.
But it’s not getting any better. I’m still constantly cursed out and verbally berated for literally no reason. My mother has tried opening credit card accounts in my name for her use only to “build my credit” only to call me a bitch when I told her to stop. She still has the password for my bank account which she took over $600 from for repairs on my car which my father had already paid for. She constantly violates my boundaries, using the ‘my house my rules’ logic even though she’s been unemployed since I was 10. I get yelled at whenever I buy something for myself with the money that I worked for. Not like crazy expensive things, I’m talking $40 on two Tshirts and toiletries from target (shampoo, acne care, deodorant)
I have had a stable job since I was 16 and have picked up a second job for the summer. I have never been in any major trouble at school or with the law. But there’s something so wrong about me that all my mother does when she sees me is yell.
My dad gets the same treatment too. As long as I can remember. He will not divorce her for religious reasons. He tells me that if I ignore her or don’t take it personally, things will be fine but it’s kind of hard not to take it personally when your mother tells you too kill yourself because i refused to tell her the name of a coworker. He’s never done anything to call out her behavior. He just lets it go. He hasn’t done anything to truly help me.
I’m tired of living like this but I feel like I can’t leave . I don’t have a credit card, I don’t have my own car insurance. I can get my own car insurance in September and I’ve considered going against my mom telling me to not get a credit card and apply for Chime. But I can’t take that step for some reason and I hear my mom telling me that I can’t survive on my own. I don’t know what to do any advice helps. I feel hopeless

28M, I have about 20 fingernail-sized keloid scars all over my chest and back from acne that never healed correctly as a teen. It’s been a hard decade or so since: being unable to take my shirt off at the pool etc. but I’m much more comfortable in my own skin now and don’t even think about the scars that much anymore. Being in a healthy, happy 3-year relationship a couple years ago definitely helped me as well.
Jump to today, I recently went on a few dates with a woman of a similar age to myself, and when we started to get intimate she saw my scars for the first time and I could tell something changed, and she became distant afterwards before breaking it off, saying she’d wished I was more up front about my scars.
Look, I get it honestly, looks matter. I am currently shredded and in the best shape of my life and I don’t care if that sounds douchey to say because I’ve worked my ass off from the point of clinical obesity to get here. Plus, she saw my scars and the fact that I am fit went right out the window 😂
But this has all got me thinking, what then am I supposed to do on dating apps? Do I need to use a prompt to say something along the lines of “Hope you don’t mind a guy with scars”?? I’d also rather like to avoid casually mentioning it in conversation mid-date because I think that’s just… odd? Unless it fits the course of conversation I suppose.
I’ve always just let it come up naturally and hoped the other person is okay with it, and honestly this person was the first to have a reaction like that.
But at the same time, I really don’t want to waste mine or someone else’s time if my scars are a dealbreaker, and I know how much looks are the first factor on many dating apps. I’m also not the type to put up shirtless pics on my dating profiles lol so that’s a no-go for me.
Any advice or even just a sanity check would make my night, cause this is kinda making me spiral a bit way more than I think it honestly should

Hey there! I just wanted to weigh in with my personal experience taking wellbutrin for 2 years to manage depression, for anyone else out there who may find this helpful.
Before going into details, I want to emphasize that for managing my depression, wellbutrin was absolutely incredible and saved me from a really dark and heavy period in my life. Further, while stomach issues with wellbutrin are not uncommon, I believe my reaction was likely exceptionally severe (so I don't want to fearmonger).
The Good:
Wellbutrin was a huge help for me. I was on 150 mg for ~5 months and then 300 mg for ~20 months. It helped my depression a lot (though not my anxiety). I noticed on 150 mg my mood was quite unpredictable in a way that was really uncomfortable for me, but going up to 300 mg leveled things out.
The Ugly:
How it Started
While I was on wellbutrin, especially after going up to 300 mg, I slowly started to develop stomach issues. I had struggled with IBS-like symptoms on-and-off for a long time, but after about 3 months on wellbutrin it started to get much worse, and within 1 year of being on 300 mg it became horrifically unmanageable.
Stomach Pain & Diet
I lost over 10 pounds within a month last summer and, for context, I am already someone who has been "underweight" my whole life. I lost the weight really rapidly, none of my clothes fit, and I had no energy. I would take my wellbutrin in the morning (as is generally advised) and by around 2 pm would start to feel really bloated, and it would just get worse and worse until the evening, to the point where I could never eat dinner, or even leave the house much, and would just sit on the couch with a hot water bottle. At one point the pain was so bad a family physician sent me to the ER thinking I had appendicitis! I had multiple ultrasounds that came back clear.
I became gluten intolerant (not even a bite of bread was okay) and developed a pretty severe intolerance to soy (even small trace amounts of soy lecithin in things like granola bars and chocolate would take me out for an entire day)
Ultimately, doctors classified it just as IBS and put me on the low-FODMAP diet. It certainly helped, and it helped me identify my 'trigger' foods, but with being vegetarian, on low-FODMAP, and unable to eat soy, my diet felt impossibly restrictive. But, I felt better and stuck to it.
Eventually, the low-FODMAP diet stopped working, and this past January I had another flareup. This time was even worse. No foods were safe foods, and I was constantly in pain and bloated (to the point of looking 6 months pregnant on a regular basis). Eating became something I feared, but not eating would trigger stomach pain as well. I couldn't eat so much as a salad without taking multiple IB-Guard capsules beforehand and ginger gravol after, and even then it was painful.
Menstrual Cycle
While my stomach issues were constant, they definitely became significantly worse around my period and around mid-cycle (ovulation) for about a week at a time (so 2 out of 4 weeks, rip), and it was debilitating. For 2 days before my period and around ovulation, it felt like I had the flu. I couldn't eat, I would have the chills, throw up, be nauseous, and virtually unable to eat. This lead doctors to think I may have severe endometriosis, despite the absence of period cramps or heavy bleeding (which is possible, but unlikely).
Figuring It Out
I went to yet another doctor and she sent me for some tests, but I live in Montreal, Canada, where the wait times for those specific tests were ~8 months each, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. So, I decided to do an experiment on myself. Keep in mind that because the stomach problems evolved slowly while I took wellbutrin, I never realized it could be what was causing my issues-and for some reason no doctor suggested that either.
I realized that I took my medications in the morning, and by lunch I would start to feel unwell. So I did a trial where one day I didn't take the other prescription medication I take (sprionolactone for hormonal acne)-no difference. The next day, I didn't take my wellbutrin. I had the best day I had had in well over a year. No stomach pain whatsoever. I thought it could be a fluke, so I skipped a second day. No pain. Day 3, I took half my usual dose (150 mg)-horrible pain. So, I did what doctors would definitely not recommend and went off it cold turkey. Stomach problems=gone. It was incredible, and I felt like I had my life back.
Today
Today I feel amazing. I have virtually no stomach problems at all, and I have started to re-introduce foods that I could not tolerate a small bite of before. My gluten and soy intolerances completely disappeared, which was shocking. Last week I had pasta for the first time, today I had tofu for the first time again. Having a restrictive diet was not super bothersome to me after I got used to it, and I know many people live their whole lives with eating restrictions like that. But it is nice to be able to expand my diet again (especially as a vegetarian, being able to eat things like tofu and seitan is sooo helpful). I don't feel horrible around my period at all. I feel like I have my life back-I can go out with friends at night and just enjoy myself and not be in pain, not have to take 3 different supplements to eat a meal, can eat whatever I want on occasional restaurant outings, etc. My stomach problems felt like they took up 90% of my thoughts and energy, and now I have that all back to put towards myself and the people I care about <3
Important: Now, for the first few weeks wellbutrin withdrawal was kind of no big deal. I was definitely tired, but it was manageable and went away after a short while. HOWEVER, a month after I had a full nervous breakdown that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was inconsolable for 4 days, and eventually went to the ER, and ended up taking Ativan to get through the couple days that followed. However, I was put on Lexapro (just 5 mg) and have been 100% fine and thriving since, and my anxiety is way better than it ever was on wellbutrin. I should also note that I left a very, very difficult relationship during this time, and it went quite horribly, and so while I would be amiss to not say quitting wellbutirn cold turkey didn't contribute to this "breakdown", I think context is really important.
I should also note that I have a history of having a hard time with prescription medications (so before anyone else says it first, myself or a doctor probably should have guessed wellbutrin was the culprit long before the 2 years). In any case... I had to stop taking Zoloft a few years back because it made me horribly nauseous and bloated, and the same was true for oral contraceptives (I tried 5 different ones over 4 years and all caused horrible nausea)-I now have a copper IUD.
TLDR: Wellbutrin help my anxiety but caused horrific stomach problems (severe and painful bloating, constipation, stomach cramping, nausea) and lead me to develop intense food intolerances (to gluten and soy) and made a strict low-FODMAP diet the only way to keep myself going. Stopping wellbutrin cured my stomach issues within a month, but quitting cold turkey lead to an intense emotional break.
Sorry this was so long, but I hope it helps someone

My god, it just happened. I'm still pissed.
Important context: I have a zit the size of Everest tucked in next to the corner of my eye. It's recurring, and it will go away soon. Nbd, it's just massive.
I work reception, and a woman came in having made her reservation for the wrong day. No problem, I can at least look up the reservation information. While I'm doing so, she goes, "what happened to your eye?!"
Lovely question to ask the person trying to help you.
I blink and tell her, "it's a pimple."
"No way! There's no way that's just a pimple!"
Then I pull The Saying out for the first time: "I'm shocked you feel comfortable saying something like that to a total stranger. I have genetic cystic acne."
She doubles down. "Well, I just..! My daughter has acne, too." I say nothing. "She doesn't really talk to me about it, either."
I double down. "Well, I don't like to talk about it. It got me made fun of when I was younger."
Cue the breathy comments about how I, as well as some guy she's texting, are calling her a piece of shit. If that's what you got from my very calm and decently polite responses, maybe you have some introspection to do! Enjoy your visit, and I hope you think twice before making comments about someone's appearance!
(Fortunately, while the cystic acne is indeed real and genetic, I wasn't ever picked on for it. At least, not until I reached adulthood, for some reason.)

Hello, I have comedonal acne on a combo to oily skin, and occasional break outs. I've been prescribed over the years Epiduo forte twice , and then a combination of Tretinoin, and Avene's Cleanance Comedomed.
Epiduo, while it would work, it would dry out and tighten my skin so much, especially around the eyes (I wasn't applying it there, goes to show how aggressive was for my skin I guess), it was not a viable option. The dermatologist suggested to maybe apply it three nights the week, instead of daily. The results were the same.
Tretinoin which I was really excited about for years, : ( my skin never got over the purge phase, which was so disappointing, as it is a hailed retinoid by so many, and after 3 months of sticking it out with the overproduced oil on my forehead, I had to eventually end it. (It should not have lasted that long right, I always read a purge should be 3-4 weeks).
So I am now rethinking my routine, and I would appreciate any input. I am thinking to join the double cleansing routine, and instead of purchasing a salicylic acid cleanser like the Cerave one, to go for a cleansing oil for removal of sunscreen, and then a foamy water based regular one. Any good recommendations for a lightweight moisturiser for day & night that has not clogged you in your experience, and bb cream/sunscreen? Have been using Thank You Farmer Light Sun Essence SPF50 which is a chemical sunscreen, but would like something even more lightweight and tbh I cannot abide the fragrance anymore. A water based/ super lightweight, fragrance free, SPF 30-50 sunscreen or CC cream with a matte finish/not shiny? Any suggestions on this would be appreciated as this is a hard combo.
In the evenings I usually swap between Salicylic acid from the Ordinary & Retinol 0,2% serum, but open to any more suggestions. And I do the BHA + AHA exfoliation formula once a week
Also the dermatologist had also suggested to maybe apply Epiduo for 30 mins and then wash it off, has anyone with similar problems with this medication ever tried this?

For reference :)
I want to say thank you for all of you who helped me, you all gave me excellent perspectives and I really love you all for it. Happy to report that I did not go to his graduation. I felt guilty for a bit because you only graduate a few times, but why support someone who doesn’t respect you lol. I did politely let him know he was out of line and that our friendship can’t go forward. Ultimately, you all were right, no REAL friend would sexualize me like this.
Some of you asked how I hide my chest so well, so I’m here to share my big boobie gal secrets for ya :) ❤️ My biggest tip is to avoid bras with those huge moulded, padded cups. All they do for me is add volume to my chest.
My holy grail bra is the Celestine bra from Adore M in a 32H for $24!!! I had the luxury of going into one of their stores to try on a couple styles. This bra fits like a SOCK. The cups are stretchy so even when I get period boobs, they still fit. Downside, they’re never in stock and I bully their instagram daily because of it.
Significantly more expensive but so worth it to me is the Chantelle Norah Chic underwire bra in a 32H for $84 :(. BUT girlies I’m telling you, go to Nordstrom, try this one on and your back pain will be GONEEEE. Slight padding for the nips, straps are also padded, and you can hardly feel the elastic on the band.
My go to everyday lounging bra is this $10 Hanes wireless bra in a Medium. Definitely not for long term wear as there’s hardly support but nice when you’re home and don’t wanna wear a wire. Super stretchy, I was shocked when it fit me, I have 4 lol.
Bikinis are my enemy but I found one this year I was really surprised by. TRUST ME HERE!!! This Victoria Secret bikini&cmmmc=PLA--GOOGLE--VSD_VS_Swim_PMAX--&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhOyK_5z8hQMVBZpaBR2MSgZGEAQYASABEgLiNvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) in a 34DDD fits me like a dream!!!! Straps are adjustable and the band is adjustable through some strings. Their bands are quite small, a 34 gave me better side boob coverage. I got it for $30 on sale and the bottoms are cheap too!
For sports bras, this popflex one is incredible! I tried a small and a medium, the fabric is so stretchy- I fit well in both but I like the tighter feel of the small when I’m exercising.
HONORABLE MENTION: since I wear bras with no padding most of the time, nips show through often. These nipple covers are the only ones worth their money. They don’t leave that dumb ring around your nipple under your clothes LMFAO
BONUS TIP: idk about you guys but I get tons of acne on my back and shoulders where my bra sits all day. The Everyday Brightening Body Wash has been the only thing that’s tamed my acne.
PSSSSSSS - the green dress is from H&M for 12.99!!! I’m wearing a small :)
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what works for me and this list is all I’ve got LOL. I’m happy you all find me stylish and have been so sweet to me. I hope this helps some of you out the way you guys help me!!! ❤️

im sending out a major sos for my skin and my routine bc ever since taking my skincare seriously and creating a routine, i feel like my skin has somehow gotten worse. i dont really know much about skincare but i have a friend who works at a cosmetics store and she helped me build a routine. could anyone help me identify what im doing wrong and point me to products that may be better for me?
backround info: im 19 years old, on a budget and would prefer not to spend more than like 20 bucks per product if possible. im assigned female at birth (they/them) (are these important?)
issues: i have severe fungal acne, those colorless little bumps all over my forehead. i have combination(?) skin, my face is extremely extremely oily all of the time except for my eyelids which become so dry they flake horribly, become red, itchy, and inflamed, and even swell. the area around my mouth is weirdly green tinted and my undereyes are noticeably purple.
okay lets go into my routine

1. juno skin clear 10 cleansing balm
2. cetaphil dermacontrol oil removing foam wash
3. whatever lipscrub
4. neutrogena hydro-boost hyaluonic acid exfoliating cleanser
5. cerave hydrating toner for normal to dry skin
6. cetaphil moisturizing lotion for dry to normal, sensitive skin
7. aquaphor healing ointment (the only thing that tames my eyelids)
8. cerave hydrating mineral sunscreen spf 50

in the morning i use the cleansing balm, foam wash, lipscrub, toner, moisturizer, and sunscreen at night i use the cleansing balm, foam wash, lip scrub, toner, moisturizer, and aquaphor on my eyelids i use the exfoliating cleanser twice a week
sos my skincare lovers. any and all advice is appreciated …. i love u all

Hello all! I went in to my gyno with complaints of pain in my lower right pelvic area during sex & sometimes other times as well. He did a culture swab & apparently I have ureaplasma & BV. Which is odd, because I don’t have the traditional symptoms of either. I have PCOS & sometimes have pain due to cysts. Anyways, he prescribed me 100mg of Doxycycline twice per day, however, I started having bad side effects so they prescribed 1g of azithromycin along with Flagyl for the BV. Has this worked for anyone at all? I want to get rid of this because I’ve read it can cause infertility (been dealing with “unexplained” second hand fertility for 6 years) but I will not ever take doxycycline again. Please help!

Hello, I don't make posts very often so I hope I'm doing this right. I wasn't sure whether to tag this as "product question" or "acne" so if this feels more suited for the latter category, please let me know.
I've been struggling with severe acne for a couple of years now. Last week I saw my family doctor, who prescribed me Benzaclin to use in the morning and Retin-A (tretinoin) gel to use in the evening. I've read that salicylic acid should not be used with tretinoin, so I stopped using my previous moisturizer (Clean & Clear Dual Action Moisturizer) to switch to one that I had previously used before and thought I might be able to use with both treatments, aka Garnier Skin Naturals Hyaluronic Aloe Jelly. I had previously never experienced problems with this moisturizer, however, upon applying it I immediately experienced an intense burning sensation. My mom pointed out that my skin was now very red and looked rather puffy, and my skin definitely does feel quite irritating. It's very frustrating because I just want something that WORKS!!!!
I've been using the Benzaclin a bit longer than the Retin-A due to the fact that our pharmacy had a bit of trouble with ordering in the original retinoid treatment that I was supposed to use (I don't remember the name, I apologize). I've only used the Retin-A two or three times so far, I'm thinking of only using it 2-3 times a week to start before going into it every other night and then eventually nightly. I'm not entirely sure what my skintype is, aside from being very acne prone (obviously) and a bit oily along my nose. Might be combination? I'm not entirely sure.
While my parents said that they are willing to pay more for a product that has good reviews and is going to help me in my current condition, ideally I would prefer to keep it under $20 CAD due to the fact that we are struggling and I am still in the process of trying to find a job (been searching for months now with no luck) whilst also trying to apply to college/university.
Any and all help is appreciated. Thank you!

Hey y’all!
So apparently kinship self reflect spf 32 is supposed to be good for acne prone skin, but that was definitely not true for me. Got 2 HUGE cysts the first two weeks I tried it, as well as some other inflamed zits and just very clogged pores (I double cleanse fyi). took a break and went back to my chemical la roche posay spf 50 for two weeks and my skin cleared right back up. I wanted to make sure it was the kinship sunscreen breaking me out so I tried it again for two weeks - once again, got another two cysts, inflamed acne, and clogged pores. Just didn’t fare well with me!
With that all said - the sunscreen itself looks BEAUTIFUL on, has a little hint of a light tint (most are too dark for my fair skin, and too warm toned), works fantastic as a base for makeup and a little bit of a blurring effect. I’m sad I can’t use it!
Does anyone know if there is something similar on the market to try? A nice lightly tinted mineral sunscreen that is acne safe? Could even be a tinted chemical one. I have my eyes on the ultra violette lean screen as well as Paula’s choice light wrinkle defense.

Okay, fourth rewrite, I'm making this in hopes that their is someone who can help me in some way. Maybe someone knows the answer to it all and can guide me, though unlikely. I'll just list out all my issues in seperate paragraphs and hopefully their is just someone out their to help, if you can help me just please do, I really need help or at least someone and you reading this and giving me advice would truly mean a lot to me. Anyways
I feel stupid: I honestly feel braindead, I hate my mind so much. Sometimes it's hard to think or do, sometimes I can't think or do. My mind is so numb, everything about my mind just feels wrong and dead. My mind has felt dead for a year or two now and I just wish it was alive, I want my mind to be normol, I want it to actually work. I also want confidence in my mind, any failure or lack of underatanding makes me defeated and feeling like a dunce. Anything I can do I say was just luck or something anyone should know. I don't know if I'm stupid or not but dam I feel like I am the dumbest in a room. I would give it all to be intelliegent, I wish I was smart, well read, well informed, well versed. I so desperately want to know, so desperately want to be smart. I wish I could understand stuff. I just want to be smart and have a bright alive mind, but my mind is so dead and desolate and compared to the rest worthless. I hit myself in my head whenever I'm mistaken or just feel so stupid, and I honestly deserve it. If I were to kill myself my mind being numb and stupid would be the reason or a big reason why, I just want to be smart. You can likely tell just how much of an idiot I am by reading this via grammer, spelling, complaints. That "likely" was meant to be "probaboly" but I'm just stupid and worthless to spell. If there was just a way to be smart and not such a moron, I fucking hate my life.
I have body issues: I without doubt have body issues, the biggest of which is my weight. As of now I am 5,9 (1.7M) and 211lbs (95.7KG), I was 246lbs (111kg) to begin with and it was also my heaviest. Despite losing a good amount of weight I am not happy and have no pride, I'm still fat and thats all I see sadly. I don't want to be fat or skinny, I want to be muscular:big arms, built chest, flat stomach, no abs (don't like them) that sounds appealing, it's what I want. Unfourtunely I as of now can't work to this goal, I don't have money for a gym or equipment, famliy funds can't do it ethier and awhile ago I turned down a weight bench since I wasn't confident, now I regret that choice. I hate being fat so much, and this deep hatred and desperation has led to a embarassing cycle, for two years now I have been downloading images of muscular bodies. They're all drawings or from videogames since I'm to embarresed to have real images and as mentioned it's a cycle, Download and store -> have them and look at them for awhile -> get ashamed of myself -> purge it all -> regret -> repeat. Like stated this has been going for two years and as of now I have ten different images. Apart from weight I also have some other physical insecurites, acne being a big one. I been suffering from acne for years, fifth grade, early sixth grade is when it started so five years of this. It mostly effects my chin and cheeks badly but also effects more of my face, sometimes the acne hurts and it often even bleeds. I hate touching my face and feeling grime and ripping off a bunch of skin and dried shit. I wash every night and try to be frequent with morning witch-hazel but it dosen't relent. I also hate it when it gets mentioned, it is irratating to be reminded and noticed and nobody points it out more then my own mom who also cliams it would go if I just washed. I do, I fucking do! It's not working and you don't understand that! I also have body acne I don't know how to fix, I like sleeping shirtless which I know is the reason, also inconsistent with bedding which isn't right. Even if I did wash sheets weekly it wouldn't be enough, I would still get acne on my body. I just want to sleep shirtless and not get acne, I wish I could find a way. Another insecurite but not really is my height, I don't mind being 5'9/5'10 I mean it's about average height and I beat out my 5'4 father. But I'm sixteen which mean I still have possibilty to get taller and I wonder, will I? If I do, just how tall? Could I reach 6'0+? All of this speculation makes me a bit insecure, also with being fat I look short and round in the mirror which is defeating. I'm secure besides speculation and weight but at the same time I truly want to be taller, I think any man tall or short wishes they were taller, I wish I could break 6'0 that would be cool (to me). But I don't think that will ever happen, my dad is 5'4, my mom is 5'6 I made it 5'9/5'10 and my chart is stagnating, should just stop thinking I'll get taller. Another phsyical insecurite and likely the last one I'll mention unless I think of another worthwhile one is my hair, I'm insecurie of my hairstyle. Or lack of hairstyle, my mom says I have independence in this choice but whenever I make a choice she complains about it. Any agreement is one sided or changed up a little so she likes it. I have always hated my hairstyles over the years, even now and as of now it's ethier her way or a unorgainzied thick mess that will soon be her way. I hate it, wish I could make my own "independent" choice, even if I could my mom would likely hate it and always bring it up which is something I don't want to deal with. My mom is more for short cuts and fades etc, I hate fades and while I do admire short hair have always taken liking to shagger and longer styles, more rugged style. I have also always liked long hair and even wanted it. I used to openly want long hair for a long time but my mom opposed, I tried to convince her but she was opposed. She wasn't only opposed to it she made sure to express that it was gay and feminine etc, etc. She made me close off and forgot the desire but even now she won't let go. She is so sure to tell everyone: famliy, her friends, the hairdresser, hell maybe even strangers, she tells everyone about how much I wanted it and what she thought of it etc. Often I have been embarresed like this while I was right there, I have expressed that this embarreses me and want it to stop mutiple times yet she'll continue almost as if it's purposeful, she will also bring up an old friend T who had long hair as an example of it looking bad. But he didn't take care of it or do anything, most he would do is give into his moms begging and have her brush it. If I had long hair I would actually take care of it and do stuff to it! She also claims I got the idea from him, but no I liked it since elementary being inspired by personal inkling and rock. I no longer want hair but am starting to find styles I really like, but first I need to get my mom to fuck off. And second I would want to grow a beard, which is another issue of mine. I'm sixteen I shouldn't expect a full beard but I have seen peers with actual good facial hair, patchy beards, five o'clocks, some actually have a beard. Then there is me, with some sideburns and a bunch of peachfuzz, I want to be able to grow a beard and the peachfuzz plus sideburns bother me, I want it to actually devlop, I want a beard. I am also worried about devlopment, worried acne will hurt or even stop growth. I'm upset about my lack of growth though I definetly have unrealistic expectations. Lastly with hair is my chest hair, I'm quite hairy and I like it. And I have chest hair but barely and I just wish I had more over a greater coverage, more of a funny insecurite, lol. One more insecurity I forgot about is my voice. I'm loud when talking and my voice isn't as deep as I wish so that sucks.
(copy and paste from older write) I wish I had a father: I don't have a father or any form of father figure, I'm fatherless and it hurts a lot. My father has been out of my life since I was elevenish/twelveish (the peak of covid passed), we kicked him out because he is and was a meth addict in and out of the jail. He was a fuctioning addict so not violent and not as obvious of an addict but the meth still took him over. My mother says she kept him around and gave him so many chances because she wanted him to be in my life as a father. But he was no father when he was around, he didn't parent me, he didn't play his role as a father and guide as a masculine role model, hell he likely didn't even truly care for me. My only memories of him really are going to McDonold's with him, after which he dumpster dived behind the plaza as I begged for us to go back home. Or me wanting to bond with him so he sets up the brilliant idea of dragging me around with his skechy friends, to skechy places, even at skechy times. I don't understand why I knew sooner, guess I was a stupid basterd but I started picking up that my dad was a bad person around fifth grade. By then I quickly found out more and more and tenstion was growing, by eleven we we're going to kick him out but covid struck it's height and our household seemed palpable. But very quickly we said fuck it and threw him to the curb, we weren't going to have it no longer. Soon after around thirteen I was happy that he was gone but slightly disappointed that I no longer had a father (even if he was useless) and I hoped my mom would find someone, not only for herself but for me. By fourteen this really layed in heavy on me and the lack of a father really bummed me out, I got really stupid and desperate using bitlife to create guys then add me and my mom in to create step father famlies even adding step siblings and shit. By late fourteen it was made clear to me by my mom that "we don't need no man" and that she was done with dating. I very well do need a father figure, every child needs one. Hell I as a guy truly need(ed) one, there are so many lessons and things that come from a fatheson relationship that are crucial to a boy and I missed out on them. Hell even when my dad was around I missed out on lessons, I still remember he was tasked to teach me how to tie my shoes but got mad at me struggling and walked away. He refused to help afterward and I refused to try and never to this day learned the proper way to tie, instead I have my own far less efficent method. I missed out on so much by not having a father and it hurts to know that and I just wish I had the knowledge, without a masculine role model I have definetly missed out what it is to be a man and likely am even a loser of a man. I just want a father so badly, I want what a father provides so badly, I want the bond that it comes with. I wish I just had a guy to talk to and bond with, I want a dad just so badly. I wish I had someone who taught me how to change a tire or fish and all that shit, but I'll never have it and it angers me, I am angry to be fatherless, I am angry and lost without a father figure, and I'm jealous. I kind of want to have children when the time comes, I wonder if I'll fail them as well.
Friends: Growing up I was always a bit introverted, I think it was of my nature but was amplafied by life. In elementary I often acquainted myself with people never having any close friends outside my after school program. Jumping to middle school I had a good friend-group but it turned out my good friend T was really an ass and I was pushed out by him in early nineth grade. Later in nineth I met my good friend, my best friend M. This year in tenth I was introduced to a friend named D by M. These are my only two friends and I'm happy with them, though there are a few issues. Not anything major but just a few things, like how we never do anything outside of school. The only thing I really miss about my old friendgroup is that we actually did shit: springs, houses, events, parks, attractions, food. Now me, M and, D don't and have never done anything outside of school and the computer. M likely couldn't do anything because of his famliy and D just seems completely disinterested and worried about money. But I wish we could really do something, sure videogames are fun but it would be fun if we could just goof off somewhere, be stupid. This is really the only general "issue" apart from that no major strain or issue in the friendgroup. But I do have a few personal grievences, starting with D. I think D has a darker side of him, he seems to not respect or care for me and will sometimes show it in nasty ways. He had told both me and M to kill ourselves, he attacks insecurites, he says rude shit, etc. Also with D, we have never truly connected, never gotten to know each other personally. Without M we would be mere acquaintance, M is the only reason why me and D are friends and being alone with each other is mostly silence and maybe him showing me a TikTok. Then M, I have no personal issues with M only small factors of our friendship I'm upset or worried about. Starting off with is school, halfway through this year (tenth) M started a FLVS-hybrid. I am happy for him and it's something we both expressed wanting but now I never really see him. I could see him at lunch but he dosen't really come in and only other time I can see him is leaving campus. I ethier catch him and barely have a conversation worthwhile or he's to far ahead and I got to give up trying to reach him. The only way to talk to my best friend nowadays really is Discord, and that isn't even reliable since his parents are often controlling the WI-FI or taking his stuff away. This means when I do talk to my friend it can suddenly be ended as he disconnects or I can't even. This sucks, it feels like I can't even talk to my best friend that much. But that isn't all, because I'm worried for my friend M. His parents don't sound the best from all he's told me, I won't share his issues but just as an example he didn't have a bedroom for two months. Hearing what we gose through is alreadly dishearting but something that I worry deeply about is him talking sucide. He has talked and half joked about it several times and it's worry, I been trying to discourage but he continues with it so now I'm just trying to ignore it. That is likely the wrong way of handling it but I just don't know what to do. I hope it's always bluff and he moves out and moves on with he can, I don't want him to kill himself.
I'm lonely: I'm sixteen but I'm lonely. I am the only one of my friends who hasn't had a relationship, I am not the most worried about that, I don't want to date just to date, I want to date to love. But hell I still wish I had a relationship, even just a sterotypical high-school one. But what I truly want is true love, I want a woman I love with all my heart and a woman who loves me with all of hers, I want a woman to provide for, to protect, to matter to. I want to marry and possibly have kids. I want to love someone, be there for someone. But will I ever even have that? I'm alreadly a loser who no woman would want and even then from what I've heard, "modren dating is terrible" so what chance do I even have? Will I ever have someone to love? I hope.
School: School makes me so misereble and dead, this place makes me genuinely want to off myself I hate it so much. And it seems to revolve around my whole life, even at home it's all my mom wants to bring up. I just need a break from it all but it seems like it's the only thing in my life, I don't really have anything else. I failed my nineth grade year, I failed since I'm a stupid, worthless peice of shit. But they "passed" me onto tenth, gave me tenth grade classes, test, etc but say I'm still nineth, tell me do nineth grade "remedation" online. Now I'm failing like a worthless peice of shit once again! I wish they held me back to try again but they didn't they just pushed me on, still likely would've failed like a worthless bitch but I could have had a chance. I fucking hate myself I'm so stupid and I hate my school for pushing my stupid ass onward and onward, I should just kill myself at this point. And when I try to reach out to my counselor in any hope for some chance of help the piss poor communcation at this school means it'll take days for a response, I can't even get reliable help over school. Back in middle school I had a GPA in the high 3s, I made honor roll every other quater or so, I had high grades and sucess. But in high-school, in nineth grade I failed with straight Fs and got a GPA of 0.7, now in tenth I have a 1.7 and sometimes get high grades but mostly fail. I just wish I wasn't so stupid, I just wish I was smart and successful at school. But I'm not, I'm a fucking idiot and an embarssment at school. And maybe it would all be okay if it wasn't for the assholes I am surrounded by, my fellow peers of this overcrowded hell hole. Just seems like I can never catch a break with having to deal with people. I just want to be left alone but they're is just always somebody wanting to bother me, harass me. Can sit at a desk then have a bunch of cunts around me, harass me, call me burgundy because of my shirt. Can sit down and be snickered at by the guys in front of me for whatever reason. Sit down and have paper, pencils, even ice hitting me. Sit down and have some imbecible pull up a chair and use my desk as his and block me in my seat because fuck me, am I right? Just want to be left alone but never am, nobody ever dose it's always something. I can't even get respect, not a single bit, just always mistreated. Hell just the other day when I was given my packet I was also mistakenly given the packet of a nearby girl, I get her attention and hand it to her and she just snaches it and mumbles something, because I can't even be respected, I'm worthless. And even when I'm not being directly bothered I got to deal with slow walkers, idiots who don't know how to inconvience everyone else in the halls, the over crowded school. It all fucking sucks I hate it all, everyday I think I'm on the verge of snapping but somehow just have more patience, I don't know how much more of this shit I can or have to endure. At least my mom finally reconsidered my old forgotten pleads for online school and reopened the idea, maybe by some miracle online school will save me and "help me get caught up and ahead" but I doubt it, I'm an idiot who deserves to die. Why am I so fucking stupid, why am I like this? Why must I exist this way?
No hobbies or interest: I used to love a lot of things: reading, history, coming up with things in my head, videogames and, anything really. Now I have grown apathic to it all except videogames and even that dosen't bring much joy. I want to have my old hobbies back but lack the will to return. And I want new hobbies but yet lack will but also lacking knowing what I want to try. I'm lost with my freetime, it's all bleek and I want to fill my life with pastion. I still love videogames, always will but I need more then just gaming, I want more then gaming. I just want something, anything. I don't want to have such a lack of interest, God I fucking hate my life.
I have no future career goals: I'm sixteen and have no idea on what I want to do as an adult, some may say thats okay but it's not, not for me at least. I want to have a goal in the adult world, and even if that goal led to a path I don't like then I can always go down another path. Despite having no idea on what to do I at least know I don't want to be in an office. I could handle an office job, and be content with an office job but an office job isn't me, it isn't what sounds interesting, I would likely do blue collar or be my own boss. Some jobs I've considered and would do still are: police, SWAT police, house flipper, 911 operator, port worker, mechanic or something tinkeassemble like, enterpuner my book, film and games ideas or, open a store or bar or something. These are some jobs I've considered in the past that I would still see myself doing, I have also pondered over military/reserve but not sure. My childhood dream career that I still have a desire for is SWAT but I don't think I have what it takes, in fact I don't think I have what it takes for anything. I think all my life is destined to is dying homeless on a street corner, it's all I'll ever be "worthless".
I had so much planned, now failed: At age fourteen I planned to by now have a license, a job, a banking account, start savings. I planned to lose weight, I planned to have an idea outside of school, I had a plan. But I'm just a worthless peice of shit and a failure to myself, I don't even have a permit, no job, no savings, still fat, have no idea about the future, I failed myself.
Fidgeting: I can't stop but want to, at school I can't help but twiral a pencil around. I do it all the time at school but been trying to stop, I hate doing it. Worst part is I'm being immated by worthless cunts by it which is annoying. I want to stop this.
Masterbation addiction: I have a severe and low life addiction to masterbation. I do it at least once a day and sometimes mutiple times a day. The longest I was ever able to refrain was just a little over a week and only failed because I got bored. I need to jerk it to be able to sleep unless I'm desperately tired but even then. Also since I "need" it to sleep I regulary soil my sweatpants then sleep in it which is nasty. I can't control this vice, this low appetite and I'm deeply unhappy about it. Also unhappy that I might be ruining my endurence, a bit TMI but just another reason why this is harmful. I want to refrain or atleast drasticly cut out this pratice and fix myself.
I likely have more issues eating me inside as I waste away as a shell of a person but I can't really think of them. I am told my mom is looking into thearpy so that might be nice. Please just help me, I'm so lost and broken, I sometimes consider just ending it all but I just hope it can get good.

Hello! I am asian american and 15 years old, a sophomore in high school, and today we just got out yearbooks for the school year.
To preface this conversation, my self confidence has been on a downward spiral recently as I notice more and more flaws about myself. This has been going on for a few months and my parents are aware of this. My mom, also understanding my struggles, has tried to help me be more positive; she even told me that I started to look prettier because I was happier. My father and I usually have a lot of conversation about my daily life and struggles where I have told him that I like honesty - which I guess I regret a bit now. However, he has told me that he has a high EQ and a great sense of social awareness, so I assumed that would apply to most cases. When I told him about my insecurities, he kept telling me to just "be confident" and that if an average looking person like me wasn't satisfied with my looks, then how could the ugly people live. Looking back, I understand his statement, but in my state of self loathing, I wouldn't let his words through. But still, after his "pep talk," I still kept degrading myself and would look sullen because of this. I would even cry everyday because of how much I hated my looks - both my parents knew somewhat of what I was going through. From time to time, my dad would also comment on my attitude since I was pretty negative during that time (I will admit, I was the AH during those encounters). Recently, however, I am glad to say that I am slowly recovering and experimenting with makeup to enhance my looks.
Sorry for the long FYI, on to the story. When he picked me up from school today I showed him my yearbook picture, and I joked how I kinda looked like a boy (the picture was taken at the beginning of the year, so I look quite different as my acne had cleared up). After saying that, he said how I should stop parting my hair and just put it up in a ponytail without a part. I will admit that this next part may be my fault, but I got a little frustrated and in an annoyed tone, I told him that I know I shouldn't part my hair (he had told me when I was feeling down) and that I can't change the past of when I took the yearbook picture. I also forgot to add that both my father and I are ill-tempered (like father-like daughter I guess). So when I was agitated, he got mad saying that since I showed him, he was going to say something and that he couldn't say nothing. He proceeded to throw the book to an empty seat and angrily drove off. For the rest of the car ride, we didn't talk.
When we got home, I was trying to be a better person (compared to before) so I called out to my mom, trying to hide my anger, for dinner. The moment my mouth blurted out a sound, my dad starts angrily scolding me, saying how he hated my attitude and that if I was so "amazing" why don't I make my own money and do my own things. He said that he and my mom had done so much for me as to attend a great high school and that they had keep working when they could've already retired. He noted that if I was in a family of 5 (referencing to one of our family friends) that no one would care about me. He said that he had spent countless nights unable to sleep thinking about my college app (which I truly am grateful for, but I never implied that I wanted him to do so much work. I will also note, he does go to the extreme, sometimes). He continued to rant about the same things and others along similar lines before he stormed out.
I ran to the bathroom crying. I had a panic attack which made me start to overthink. And I don't know if I'm in teh wrong.
More things I want to point out (sorry for writing so much) is that my dad always tells me how "he's not like other asian parents," and in a sense, he is different, but at the same time, I'm starting to wonder if he is a narcisist. Funny enough, he was the one who introdcued me to a youtube channel about dealing with narcisists (Dr. Ramani). I googled narcisist anger symptoms and other signs of narcisim and I guess they match up, for the most part. I also felt like he was gaslighting me during his rebuke, but I may also be victimizing myself.
I mainly just want identification on my situation and what I should do about it for the next 2 years before I go to college. (if you need anymore information I will gladly provide it).
Thank you! - I was in a rush, so I apologize for grammar or spelling errors.

For a while now i'm been using axis y dark spot serum and its doing a great work! Almost all of my acne scars/dark spots are gone, but im left with small "holes" on my face. Whats the best product to use? I heard amazing this about skin 1004 serums, are they good and which one would you recommend?

Some time ago I replaced my previous skincare for a korea skincare routine with a lot of different products which led to me breaking out quite intensely, cystic acne, pustules and whiteheads… to a degree which I had not experienced before :/ rookie’s mistake… now I removed most of the products and have been keeping to the basics:

• water based cleanser - Etude soon jung ph 6.5 whip cleanser

-toner - Numbuzin no 5. Vitamin-Niacinamide Concentrated Pads
-moisturizer - Dr. G red blemish clear soothing cream
-spf - Numbuzin no.1 clear filter Sun essence
While my acne improved again a lot having had no more cystic acne, I still have some little whiteheads or pustules appearing on my face which wasn’t the case before also… however I am trying to work out from what it might be but these are all very clean products supposedly super soft… I checked nyc acne clinic website and they are all non comedogenic and except for Numbuzin no.1 which has a minor ingredient in the end of the list pointed out but there’s only good reviews from the sunscreen… Do you think it is the sunscreen that is still breaking me out?
Thanks in advance ❤️

I'm tempted by the idea of going straight to the manufacturer and paying €70-100 euros for a mask instead of €300-500 to a European company. According to red light subs on reddit, this manufacturer on alibaba is quite trustworthy and high quality, but I've only seen reviews on reddit for the panels and such.
Does anyone have any experience? How should I go about finding a mask for my specifications? Should I just get a panel, will it work the same?
My concerns are psoriasis, acne, brightness, and small signs of early aging.
Thanks!