For the following situation, I would like to hear your opinion.
I've been with my girlfriend for about 3.5 years. In the first 1.5 years, (almost) everything was perfect, but for about 2 years now, there have been increasing problems. About 2 years ago, her parents moved to Germany from abroad. I took care of all the paperwork (government, apartment search, job search, etc.). I'm already working, my girlfriend is still studying and earns a monthly income of about €600 to €700. I cover rent, groceries, and costs for dining out. When we go on vacation, I usually cover 2/3 or 3/4 of the costs. She pays for internet and electricity. Now, here's what bothers me:

• When her parents first came to Germany, they didn't have jobs. They received money from the government. During this time, my girlfriend and I regularly invited them to dine out. Even when I wasn't there, my girlfriend would cover the bill with her student income. Even though the money from the government for her parents is more than what she earns monthly from work.
• Now, at least the mother works, earning about €2,300 net per month. My girlfriend still feels the need to invite them out and does so, and the parents accept, even though €2,300 is significantly more than what she earns.
• When the parents go out alone, they don't spend a cent on dining or drinks. But when we go out, they gladly join and let themselves be treated. They also don't hold back and order several alcoholic drinks with their meal.
• Recently, I did the parents' tax return, and they received about €1,500 back.
• They recently went on a city trip for a few days (5 days), and the flights and accommodation were split by 3. Even though I believe the parents could contribute more. My girlfriend didn't want that. On-site, sometimes the parents paid, and sometimes she did. Even though I believe they earn significantly more now and could contribute more due to the tax refund. She also didn't allow that.
• My girlfriend tries to save about €100 from her salary every month. The parents put €1,000 into a savings account.
• Now, I've learned that she wants to go on vacation again with her parents in the summer, leaving me alone at home. Again, she wants to split the costs fairly, each paying 1/3, but I would mostly cover the costs for our private vacation.
• I have to adjust my plans for our travels, meaning I couldn't go away for a long weekend because she was away with her parents.
• In the summer, I also have to check when they are away and when we can go away.
• It's always odd to take two vacations because she has to take time off work twice, and the budget that would be for our vacation is spent on theirs.
• We've invited them out so many times, but I've never been invited out to dine.
• They got their jobs through me.
• I'd like to travel over Christmas and New Year's (I'd also cover the costs). But she doesn't want to because she doesn't want to leave her parents alone over the holidays.
• I've also had to spend the last two New Year's with her parents.
• The parents hardly speak German, so I can't have a proper conversation with them.
• Even today, I handle all the paperwork.
• She talks to her parents at least 2 to 3 times a day.

Conclusion:
I'm bothered that I always have to restrict myself. I'm bothered that the parents allow their daughter, who is a student and earns little, to always treat them when dining out.

I don't really know what i'm looking for here. Advice? but also trying to find a way to write this down without it all seeming absolutely mental.
My father has been an alcoholic for as long as i can remember. Growing up there has been more than one occasion me and my mum have fled to a hotel overnight or went and lived with my nan for a number of weeks before my dad would come begging for my mum to come back (spoiler: she did). When I was 12 he pushed my mother into the fireplace and broke her arm. I remember being told we had to tell everyone that the dog did it running into her. It was always seemingly perfectly timed around some sort of important event (e.g the night before i had my first a level exam). I could list off things that have happened but we'd be here all night so i'll skip ahead. My mother never left him.
Back then he was what you would call a high functioning alcoholic. Binged Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday night but maintain the normal work week life. My mum would say he was a different person in the weekdays, on the weekdays he was David, and on the weekends he was 'Dave'. Over the years hes got worse but since the pandemic he has sunk so low that I didn't know it was possible without a body failing. He is his own boss now in his company and so with that mixed with work from home he will be binge drinking almost every night. When he drinks he is incredibly abusive to my mother. He will send her abusive text messages when she has excused herself to bed early. He has blocked her cards before when she goes out grocery shopping in order to embarrass her. He hides her items around the house. Broke her phone multiple times so she cannot contact me.
Just before the pandemic he convinced her to move away from her family to a new city 2 hours away (alot for uk) I'm now 28 living in Norway with a family of my own. I didn't set out to move to a different country but it has led to my mother being even further isolated. When we visited 2 summers ago and i was pregnant I walked in on him holding a knife to my mums throat in the kitchen and when I got him off her he tried to attack me (all was okay but incredibly scary). Ever since this i have been recording incidents down as they happen and sending them to myself so I have the memories as they were at the time incase i need it in the future.
I tried to get my mum to call the police and she is just too scared to do it. She is scared if she finds somewhere to go she will not be able to to take her dogs with her (2 golden retrievers) and they truly are her babies. He has also been working on her to tell her she is the abusive one, not him and that's where i lead to.
I talk to my mum on the phone almost everyday around 8pm so she can talk to her grandson a little and we talk about how things are. the last few days shes been telling me about my dads recent ailments. a few days ago he fell down the stairs from drinking and has smashed his shoulder in and needs an x-ray. He has turned this into saying my mother did it to him and she is abusing him. Last night he went out to get more alcohol and the bag with his red wine broke and smashed on the floor, he stood on it and got a deep cut on his foot. Now he is saying my mother has also done this to him,
Today I get a message on my phone from him telling me that he is filing for divorce from my mother on the grounds of physical abusive.... that she will get no money and its what best. she thinks he is clever enough that he will be able to pull this off...
I just can't believe the audacity of this man, but i'm also really scared for my mum. In my honest opinion he needs sectioning.
I wonder if anyone has been through anything similar with an abusive partner and have any outcomes they can share with me?
tldr: my abusive father is filing for divorce against my mother and saying she is the abusive one. She thinks he will be able to convince people of this and she will end up with nothing. How can i help her?

I have been struggling with this topic for so long. my dad was not a great dad and my mom raised all four children by herself. he cheated on her but it was a great out for her. i’m grateful for the divorce but other aspects of life wasn’t enjoyable. even when they were married he was not there (e.g., going on business trips, parent conferences, emotional availability, egotistical). he stole my sibling and i money when we were young and many other instances. i have forgiven him but i don’t want a relationship with someone who was never a parent to me and continues to disappoint me. when i try to talk to him, he doesn’t listen and is on his phone. it’s like he doesn’t even know me. he keeps saying im his blood and all this bs. he brainwashed my siblings overtime and got them to be okay with his wife & get them to see her as “mom”. i don’t want to be the only one who has a tough relationship with him even though it’s my choice. my sister always tells me i need to fix this and stop resenting. but i truly don’t think i resenting him. i just can’t handle being disappointed anymore. i keep thinking about what people say about forming relationships before they pass away or else you will regret it. i’m still hurt from the abandonment but i don’t know what to do.

Excuses for "met" a stranger
Hi everyone, I'm 16 years old and there's a girl a little younger than me that I always see in the morning on her way to school, I'll start by saying that the title is a bit fake, I don't even know how to explain it but I like interacting with girls, what I'm looking for is neither a relationship or anything like that, but simply an interaction. The sense? I don't even know, but I'd like to interact, it seems a bit maniacal, but in truth I suffer from incredible social anxiety especially with people of my age, I think it's precisely because of this that I developed this thing of interacting. Even talking to her dealing with her for 1 minute or even less is enough for me, it would make me feel incredibly satisfied. (Don't ask any questions) But how can I do it? I thinked about dropping some coins (Money) so maybe she helps me pick them up and let's say a few words. Please help me, school will be over soon and I will most likely never see her again.
(Im sorry for some gramar error im from italy.)

My parents got separated when I was 8, it wasn't shocking, the only memory I remember of them being together is when they fight, reason-money huh normal ig. Until it wasn't, they went on with their separate lives leaving us with our grandparents (mom's side) whom I've adored because they we're so kind, not until they showed their true colors. They we're reprimanding and always complains about money despite them taking all what my parents send for us. I also lived with an uncle who caused multiple murder attempts on them and sometimes threatens me- he's a drunkard and chainsmoker. When I was 16, my father took me because I simply can't handle that abusive kind of life anymore and my siblings are gonna work soon. But he's no different. The first few months he was okay and very supportive throughout my studies until again, he wasn't. He's a gambling addict and I really thought I could escape people with addiction but no, he can't even give me money for my tuition but he "parties" (i doubt, he's definitely gambling) every night. He even comes home with a girl I don't know, then yesterday, when I told him I saw her on his bed he said it was his girlfriend and she's gonna live in. I was mad at him, very, for always giving bare minimum. My siblings always say "appreciate it, he wasn't like that before remember." But I just can't, it's so low and I feel that I have right, every right to be mad at him and yes, for gambling my mother's money. And even my siblings' money NOW. I grew up hating him because as the youngest the people around me taught me to hate him for what he did to my mother. Every mistake I do now that I live with him, he asks my siblings "how did you raise that kid, i don't know." Which is definitely foul, we fight every day now and today is my birthday and he still reprimands me. I just hope he pays my expenses, I don't want to have a relationship with him anymore or whatsoever, and once I'm finished, I'll cut him off because I'm afraid he'll definitely take my money away too once I finish studying.
Today is my birthday, and he promised me a gift but of course he didn't fulfill that, instead he asked me why I only talk when I need something from him now, and he's become more mad at me and I don't know what to do.

throwaway account <3, NY Metropolitan Area based
Hello personalfinance!
I am currently a senior in college that is looking down the barrel of some relatively (?) serious debt that I would like help navigating. Let me lay out my situation as best I can below:
Got into some legal trouble last year, and it is still pending, so lawyer fees will likely increase, but right now they are sitting at just over $22k. I did not take out a loan, but this was money lent to me by my father. We sent a retainer of $25k that we have been eating at, but with the case pending this could end up being anywhere from $25k to $50k. We have not sorted out a payment plan yet, as the focus was and has been on making sure I am legally okay.
Despite being a senior in college, I am returning in the fall to finish some classes I need to graduate. Tuition + living (and food) expenses are looking to be around just above $17k. The bulk of that ($14k) is really my tuition. I will be subletting from a friend on campus so my living expenses are already far lower than the norm for my university/area. My 4 years of college have already been covered, I just have to cover my remaining semester. This is an upcoming cost, and not something I have paid for yet, but will have to come end of summer.
Those are my two financial stressors at this point in time. As for income and savings, lets dig in:
I plan to work at least one job this summer. I am currently interviewing for positions in NYC doing software engineering and data science. I am entering the final rounds of interviews at several companies, and I hope *knock on wood* to receive offers from 2 of them. If that is the case, I will work both, one full-time, and one part time. I have already talked to the (prospective) part-time company about this, and they have told me if I get a full-time offer from them, they would still take me part time. With that said, I do not have wages for either.
I also plan to work in the fall. I have started applying for positions, but most of my job search has been focused on this summer for now. I would love to find a computer science adjacent role for next fall, but if I cannot, I will at the very least find an on campus lower wage position, to have some income. After graduating in December I plan to find a full time position somewhere and be salaried where I can start earning real sustained income.
The real meat of my question though, is that I have $45k sitting in a fidelity account that has been earning interest (variable based on rates). This account has been continually added to by my parents as I grew up. The purpose of the account is to start off my life/career with a good sized fund to keep adding to and use a solid foundation for savings moving forward. As I look down the barrel of more debt, I am wondering what is the best way to deal with this. I understand it is hard to say with certainty without having a total value and payment plan setup for my legal debt, but I hope I can still get some valuable advice.
For example, is it more advantageous to take out however much is needed and cover my tuition and legal fees, or is it better to pay those off over time while that $45k keeps working for me? I feel like people are always anti-debt (for obvious reasons), but I also know that there are cases where leaving your money in the market may be more beneficial.
Anyway, thank you very much in advance, I will answer comments as best I can and edit this is I missed anything big.
tl;dr I have $22k in legal debt lent to me by my father. Case on going, legal debt will likely increase, but not more than $50k. I have to pay $17k in tuition/housing fees for next fall (final classes before December graduation). Have income prospects, but nothing locked in at the moment. Have 45k in savings account accruing interest. Spend savings or other options??

I have decided to end it all, because it is not convenient for me to continue living.
I don't even want to practice my career anymore, I don't want anything, I don't want to face anything anymore. The only thing I see in the future is unhappiness and making money, that's right, I can only make money, I'm in the best possible position and yet I'm miserable, I'm fucking stupid.
I used to think that writing could support me because I can't talk about it with my parents out of fear, I have no friends, no partner, and my therapists basically tell me to suck it up while I fill up on pills, but now even that doesn't help me. Maybe I'm a crybaby and a faggot for denying the very nature of life, but I don't care anymore, I've already given up my pride.
I am only writing this to alleviate some of the anxieties for Thursday to arrive. The pills are waiting

I (35F) was on my street and saw a girl (about 8) deliberately drop a kitten from shoulder height to the ground. The kitten had to brace itself to land safely. A man (I presumed dad) was watching and made no comment. I approached the kitten and noticed it was a bit thin. Instinct got the better of me and I took the kitten in. I posted on a local fb group about what I saw and asked if anyone knew the owner. Got the cat some food which it ate like it was famished. Didn't see anything on fb until the next morning when I found a flurry of messages.
First a female I'll call Milly, called and told me the whole story. The kitten was born under her bed. She moved out because of a breakdown in her relationship with her mum. She was sad to leave the cats, said there were about 9 in the home and 2 dogs, none of the animals were cared for properly and she asked me to keep the cat called Buddy. She said if I gave him back he'd disappear like the others eventually do.
Second female, I'll call her Annie. Messaged and begged me to return Buddy, confirmed she is Milly's sister. Agreed her younger sister was the one i saw with her step-dad and agreed her siblings needed to treat Buddy better. I offered to care for him and money to buy him but she insisted she was very attached to Buddy and would take better care of him, she also estimated 9 cats in their property and one likely pregnant.
While talking to Annie, her stepdad (we'll call him Gary) chimed in on the post I made on Facebook saying his younger daughter was just trying to "stop the cat following them" and she was crying all night because she was worried about her cat and I shouldn't have taken him and he's well fed.
I took the kitten to the vet who confirmed no microchip, his weight was OK but he had signs of worms so i got dewormer. Told Annie I'd return Buddy once he'd has his worming treatment and suggested chipping and neutering all the cats which she agreed she would look into.
Annie and I agreed a meet up point at which time step dad started sending angry messages from his workplace because I wasn't returning the cat yet and I was communicating with a child instead of him. Turns out Annie is 13! But WAY more mature than stepdad. He became threatening and I was home alone with a poorly toddler so I went to meet Annie. Sweet kid, took my advice on board and asked questions.
Told Gary cat was home, that from 10th June if Buddy isn't chipped someone can legally take him and claim him. I told him why I took Buddy and that if I'm concerned about an animal I'll check for a chip and act accordingly. I also told him Annie is a good kid and to neuter his cats! Then blocked him. Now Gary's teenage son is trying to intimidate me on my walk home.
TLDR; I kept a neighbours cat, even after finding out it belonged to them because I was worried he was being mistreated. Returned him after 24hrs but some of the family think I'm an asshole for taking him.

Had a talk with my mom and she is upset that my older siblings don't want to speak to her anymore since they've moved out. My brother currently moved out a week ago, and he is really happy. I remember him being basically depressed and sad when he was here.
I'm currently the only kid in the house now, as soon as I came home from school, she went off about having a spotless house and made me clean the refrigerator, and bathrooms. There's so much more negativity pointed at me now that my big brother is gone. I almost cried when he left because he was the only one I could relate to being in this house. I've never felt so alone, I barely even have friends.
I'm really not an emotionally strong person at all, I was bullied for most of my life. So I have zero self esteem, and can easily be sent into suicidal tendencies and depressive bouts by emotionally negative events.
When she went grocery shopping I didn't go because my feet were hurting and I was pretty tired from cleaning. Then she "woke" me up to help bring in groceries, but I was half asleep so I didn't get up immediately. Then she went on a berating rampage saying "ALL YOU DO IS EAT AND SUCK UP MY MONEY, YOU SIT ON UR FATASS. YOU WANT TO ASK FOR THIS AND THIS BUT YOU DO NOTHING!" then I said that I helped her clean the house today but then she says "THATS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME!"
I feel like I can't win, some people tell me to just be quiet and don't say anything but when I do that she gets angrier and says that I'm disrespectful. I can't give her any advice as to why my older siblings don't talk to her anymore since they've moved out because I can't relate.
Me and my mom have nothing in common, I don't understand how someone can act like she does. How can someone berate someone like that? she even talks shit about strangers appearances. I never berate someone's looks because I know how that feels myself. The other day she was talking about some fat I got on my chin when I bend my neck down. I felt nothing in that moment, I'm used to it. I'm used to being treated like trash and less than human.
I want to get a job and help out but I constantly feel like I can't and get anxiety thinking I'll never be anything, I don't have any confidence in myself or my decisions. She even told me "You won't get a job, you'll just suck up my money!" Now I feel like Its true.
I got anxiety yesterday night, I felt scared of myself because maybe one day I won't be alive anymore, maybe I'll finally take my own life one day. All the small nice memories I had will mean nothing. I don't want to die, suicide is embarrassing it's just proof that I am a loser. If I ever do it I want to go somewhere where no one will ever find my body and do it there so nobody will ever know that I died.

Importance of a business bank account

A business bank account is of utmost importance for sustainability enthusiasts who are running their own underwater photography business. It provides a dedicated financial platform to manage all the monetary transactions related to the business, ensuring transparency and accountability. With a business bank account, sustainability enthusiasts can easily separate their personal and business finances, making it easier to track expenses, monitor cash flow, and prepare accurate financial statements. Additionally, having a business bank account allows sustainability enthusiasts to accept payments from clients, pay suppliers, and manage payroll efficiently. It also enables them to build a strong credit history for their business, which can be crucial for future growth and expansion. Therefore, having a business bank account is a fundamental aspect of running a successful underwater photography business for sustainability enthusiasts.

Benefits of a free business bank account

A free business bank account offers several benefits for your underwater photography business. One of the key advantages is the ability to diversify your revenue streams. By having a separate bank account dedicated to your business, you can easily track and manage your income and expenses related to your photography services. This allows you to have a clear overview of your financial situation and make informed decisions to grow your business. Furthermore, a free business bank account provides a professional image to your clients and partners, enhancing your credibility and trustworthiness. With a free business bank account, you can also take advantage of various banking services and tools tailored for small businesses, such as online banking, mobile banking, and merchant services. These features enable you to streamline your financial operations and improve the efficiency of your business. Overall, a free business bank account is an essential tool for any underwater photography business looking to succeed and thrive in the industry.

Challenges of finding a free business bank account

Finding a free business bank account can be quite challenging, especially when it comes to underwater photography businesses. While there are numerous options available, it is essential to navigate through the complexities and find the right fit for your specific needs. The primary challenge lies in identifying a bank that offers free business accounts while also catering to the unique requirements of underwater photography businesses. However, with thorough research and careful consideration, it is possible to get a business bank account that suits your needs and provides the necessary financial services to support your underwater photography venture.

Researching Free Business Bank Accounts

Understanding the requirements

Understanding the requirements for opening a free business bank account is essential for any entrepreneur. Whether you are starting a new business or looking to switch banks, it is important to know the criteria that need to be met. In order to qualify for a free business bank account, you will need to provide certain documents and meet specific eligibility criteria set by the bank. These requirements may include having a registered business entity, a valid tax identification number, proof of address, and a minimum deposit amount. By understanding and fulfilling these requirements, you can ensure a smooth process of opening a free business bank account for your underwater photography business.

Comparing different banks

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Reading customer reviews

Reading customer reviews is an essential step in the decision-making process for any business. It provides valuable insights into the experiences of previous customers and helps potential customers gauge the quality and reliability of a product or service. When it comes to choosing a business bank account for your underwater photography business, reading customer reviews becomes even more important. One keyword that stands out in customer reviews is organic SEO. Organic SEO refers to the process of optimizing a website to rank higher in search engine results without paid advertising. Many customers highlight the positive impact of organic SEO on their business, as it helps them attract more targeted traffic and increase their online visibility. By incorporating organic SEO techniques into your underwater photography business, you can enhance your website's visibility and reach a wider audience of potential customers.

Applying for a Free Business Bank Account

Gathering necessary documents

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Completing the application form

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Submitting the application

Submitting the application is a crucial step in obtaining a free business bank account for your underwater photography business. It requires careful attention to detail and an entrepreneurial mindset. To successfully submit the application, it is important to gather all the necessary documents, such as proof of business registration and identification. Additionally, it is recommended to highlight your entrepreneurial mindset by showcasing your business plan, demonstrating your passion for underwater photography, and explaining how you plan to grow your business. By emphasizing these key aspects, you can increase your chances of approval and secure a free business bank account for your underwater photography business.

Managing Your Free Business Bank Account

Setting up online banking

Setting up online banking is an essential step in obtaining a free business bank account for your underwater photography business. With the convenience of online banking, you can easily manage your finances from anywhere, at any time. To get started, you will need to choose a reputable bank that offers online banking services. Once you have selected a bank, you will need to provide the necessary documentation and complete the online application process. This may include submitting your business registration documents, identification, and proof of address. Once your application is approved, you will be able to access your business bank account online and take advantage of the various features and benefits offered by online banking, such as convenient fund transfers, online bill payments, and real-time account monitoring. By setting up online banking, you can streamline your financial management and ensure the smooth operation of your underwater photography business.

Tracking income and expenses

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Utilizing banking features and tools

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Maintaining Compliance and Security

Understanding legal and regulatory requirements

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Protecting your account from fraud

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Regularly reviewing account activity

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Conclusion

The importance of a free business bank account

A free business bank account is of utmost importance for any entrepreneur, especially those running a specialized business like underwater photography. It provides numerous benefits and safeguards the financial health of the business. Firstly, a free business bank account offers a dedicated platform to manage all financial transactions related to the underwater photography business. This ensures that personal and business finances are kept separate, maintaining transparency and facilitating accurate bookkeeping. Additionally, having a free business bank account allows for easy tracking of income and expenses, enabling the business owner to assess the profitability and make informed financial decisions. Moreover, it enhances the professional image of the business, as clients and partners perceive a dedicated business bank account as a sign of reliability and credibility. Lastly, a free business bank account offers access to various banking services tailored to the needs of entrepreneurs, such as business loans, merchant services, and financial advice. In conclusion, the importance of a free business bank account cannot be overstated for underwater photography businesses, as it provides financial stability, credibility, and access to essential banking services.

Tips for finding the right bank

Finding the right bank for your jewelry business is crucial for managing your finances effectively. Here are some tips to help you in your search. First, consider the specific needs of your business. Look for a bank that offers specialized services for jewelry businesses, such as merchant services and inventory financing. Second, compare the fees and charges of different banks. It's important to find a bank that offers competitive rates and low fees. Third, consider the convenience and accessibility of the bank. Look for a bank with a wide network of branches and ATMs, as well as online banking options. Finally, don't forget to read reviews and gather feedback from other jewelry business owners. Their experiences can provide valuable insights and help you make an informed decision. By following these tips, you can find the right bank that will support the financial needs of your jewelry business.

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hellos. it is me again. i am back with update about last post (if don’t know what i mean, feels free to check profile) will warn again, english is not best so if hard to understand, i apologize! but i have been practice more 😄
i finally am fully move in with bf. other night he let decorate a room to be girly because i always had dedicated room for art. i did not feels safe having one as soon as roommate allowed dog in house, but there is no dog to ruin me here. i feels so happy, safe, loved because he love me and respect me and there is no dog here to growl and act aggressive at me here. he always tell me how important i am to him, how much he love me and how he will make sure i stay happy with him.
a little over week ago (my birthday) roommate calls and ask for my part of rent money. i send her text about me move out and landlord should told her but she either ignore or didn’t receive message. she did not ask how am i, no happy birthday, no ask about where i have been. like they not notice i have been gone. now she reach out on my birthday of any day to ask for money for place i do not live anymore? i tell her i live with bf now and am sorry but no money for rent can come from me, especially now because i am looking for new better pay job. she sends sad message making me feel bad because she knows am really easy to make feel bad about stuffs that is not my fault. she says she is pay to get stuff for dog and wants to be a good gf and dog mom (what is that? i do not understand how can be mom to a dog?) and want to use money for that but needs money for rent too. i was confuse because should rent not be bigger importance? she can spoil dog later i think but no, she wants take money from me. cut it short my final answer is no and she does not respond message.
a few days later i happen to be getting out of car after buying hair products when they stop by taking stroll. i still wonder if they were going out of way to see me or if just happened to be walking around area. dog is barking and pulling on very weak and dirty leash. it does not look like the leash strong enough to hold dog of size, much less clearly aggressive pitbull. it not break around me but whole time i was scare leash would snap and dog would attack me. bf was not home he was at work so it was me, roommate, her gf, and dog. gf says they were taking walk and ask how i am doing. i tell her honestly, very happy. i did not mean to sound bragging in any way but not resist telling her how life has treat me now that i can feel safe in own home again. not scared to walk to another room for fear of be attacked. she act happy for me but she also looks so angry at me. i don’t know why? it is not like i told them to get rid of dog. do i wish they did? yes. not just because it is dog but because it is clearly aggressive. i realize now thanks to you all that moment dog was brought into home, they stop caring about me, their friend, for a dog that made miserable. even if i ask i doubt they would have rehome dog. i did what best for me, and i guess them, and move in with man who love me and would not hurt me like that.
as we are talking dog looks like ready to take bite out of me, pulling on leash. i wondered if both were angry enough to let dog loose to intimidate me just by way they were acting. i could not believe how quick we went from friends to me being scare of them and dog. while they did not say anything threaten exactly (we were catching up talk about life, i did because i did not want be childish), the body behavior and emotions were clear. they hate me for move out, but only notice because they need rent money? i tell them many time before i left that dog is making life hell but never listened. then i told was moving out before i officially did. when they brought dog with it felt like a threat, just having such dangerous thing around. like a warning and disrespect. “look, we only care about dog. here it is on very weak leash that can snap any time. we know how you feel about dogs and how scare you are, but not care about you anymore! by the way, can borrow some money for rent even though is not your responsibility anymore? here is sad story to make you feel guilt so say yes.”
i told bf what happen when he got home later that night, and he called them and said some very angry thing. i think he should have calm down (for his sake), but he basically told them never come my way again, especially with dog. that if they want talk, talk like adults and don’t include the thing that was a reason i move out. he said is dangerous dog and to not come crying to me when it gets put down because it kill someone or cause life change injuries. he can get very angry but he later tell me he just gets upset that NOW they decide to come sees me. NOW they want talk. we blocked both of them and i don’t really want be friends with them again because they toss me aside for dog like it was nothing. we went hell and back and it went down drain because of dog. not just any dog but badly train dog who might attack someone one day. i tell my family and they thinks am overreacting but i don’t think they ever understand until this happen to them. i mostly made post to tell you all am currently live dog free. am happy living here. it always smell clean, i can walk freely no fear. bf give me much love and attention. we have video game night or go out to eat or just be outside. i also got job for doordash today and am getting second job somewhere soon hopefully too because have interview tomorrow! it can get better, for anyone struggle living with dog. can be mentally drained but you are not alone. 🤗 thanks much for people that commented on last post. am thankful when people don’t make me feel crazy for saying dogs scare me and impact mental health in bad way. i don’t hate dogs for existence, just wish people could know that not everybody has to like them.

I recently came out to my parents about being transgender, and my mother told me that I am a "fucking weirdo" and that I'm gonna have to leaver her house. My dad told me that "this family doesn't support any gay/queer shit" and that I'm a fucking faggot. They kept calling me a fucking weirdo and that they're going to disown me. What my parents forgot was that they took out $50,000 in parent plus loans for me to go to college at a private college. Therefore, this debt is in their name. I told them that I would pay it back after college; however, I've done my research, and verbal agreement is not enough to put me in responsibility for the loans. Therefore, I'm thinking that since I'm going to need money to pay for transition, and I'm gonna be in debt, why not just leave them with that debt since they wanted to treat me the way that they did.
I used to hear people on youtube and in person talk about how their brains were telling them to hurt themselves, and I never understood what they were saying. It wasn't until they treated me this way that I felt what they meant. This was the first time in my life when my brain literally was telling me to k*ll myself. I had to fight through horrible emotions that I've never experienced before. I'm already alienated in my life, and I have no friends. I don't talk to anyone at my college because I'm in the closet there, and I basically live with my own thoughts in my head. I'm ready to transition and become myself and leave my disgusting parents.
My question for you is if you think that I should pay the money back because I said I would or if I should leave them with the debt and forget them and start my own life in Boston or New York? I'm from texas btw.
Thank you
Edit: I have a little brother in 8th grade who didn't say anything bad to me, but he will experience the repurcussions of their actions. I feel bad for him, but I've definitely decided that if I don't pay the 50k back that I will be sending him money so that he can buy clothes, laptop, etc to get him through high school. basically, if he wants/needs any money, I'll give him money.

How does it usually look like when you get online remote work? How does the system look like? Do you show your CV, or some homepage, or talk i some interview? Do you set up an VPS if you get the job, or get some login details for ssh? Are there one devops, and do you have the passwords, or many devops on the same VPS? I can set up a VPS, virtualmin and design a homepage, but i could probably learn some devops, i did see a 100 day course online on github, but is it worth it? Is it easy getting remote work even? Are devops much needed even? It would be nice to know some about how it usually looks like with a VPS or server access when you get hired and such. Thanks!

Me and my wife have been married for 7 years. We’ve known each other for around 12 years. 2 kids. 5 and 6. I’ll be 30 in two days and she’s 26.
4 years ago, I had an affair. It was pretty rough but I Cut off all communication. Left the job I had where I was making great money. Left all of it to work on our marriage and go to counseling. The last few years have been tough. Emotionally, financially, mentally, etc.
Fast forward to present time.
About a month ago, I got a phone call from a family member who is a police officer. My wife wound up having 14 warrants for theft.
She had to turn herself in and I bailed her out the same day.
She’s currently waiting on her court date which is in July.
Around fall of last year, she came home from work and said that she needed to tell me something.
She warned me that I might hear a rumor about her and a coworker sleeping together at work. She told me that it wasn’t true and we spoke nothing of it again. She works thirds and during that time, she was working part time. Maybe 2–3 days a week.
A few months ago, maybe thanksgiving? We went on a lunch date. She opened up to me and told me that she did not sleep with him but had been hanging out in his vehicle on break times with him. She also said that he had sent her a D*** pic on Snapchat and that she never sent any nudes back. But she has snapped him in a low cut tank top.
I believed her. She cut off all communication with this guy and he no longer works there.
But with this new information about her stealing multiple times over the course of two months, part of me feels like she’s lied to me about the whole thing and that she did sleep with him.
I’ve known her for a long time and always found my wife attractive, easy to talk to, great to be around.
But her attitude has gotten pretty rough. She’s really vocal to the kids.
She only works maybe a week out of the month.
We homeschool.
And it seems that she has no motivation for anything. She constantly says she’s “just done with everything” and “defeated and wants to throw in the towel”. Not suicide wise. But just run away.
All of this has caused my love for her be very minimum.
The only reason that’s holding me back from divorce is my children. I’m in Alabama and it’s extremely difficult to win a custody battle.
I could make one phone call and be back in the line of work that I was in when I was making close to 100k a year.
I don’t want to do counseling again. It was a temporary solution. And deep down, when I had my affair, my kids were the motivation for going to counseling. I hate the idea of not seeing my children that often.
But I’m to the point to where I just want to run away. I hate my current job even though I work M-F and I’m home by 5:30. We’re a family of four and my wife only works when it’s needed.
She’s obviously going to be continuing to work since she’ll be paying a bunch of money due to her warrants.
But I’m just to the point to where I wish I could throw clothes in a suitcase, grab my essentials, and just go.
AITAH for feeling this way?
P.S. this is a burner account

My boyfriend's account got hacked yesterday. He fell for the "can you do me a favor" scam, not going to go into detail about it. The hacker stole a photo and is snapping and messaging people trying to get their accounts and money from them. We reset the password multiple times on multiple devices but he still has access to the account. We tried to deactivate it but he was able to reactive the account. He is still active on the account and keeps adding more people every time we remove them. We have contacted snapchat support forms multiple times to try to get the account terminated so he can't do anymore harm but all they do is send us password reset links instead of actually helping. All of the help forms I submitted mentioned multiple times that reseting the password didn't help but we just keep getting password reset links instead of help. If anyone has any idea what we can do, please. Someone already sent the dude money. Nothing we can do can get this guy off the account. Snapchat support is doing nothing, I've been having people report hid account for spam but it doesn't seem to be helping.

This is a niche thing I've been wondering for a while but in one episode they talked about how Jay gave the down payment for both Claire and Mitch. This was the same episode that Cam won a 'big' inheritance. I don't live in the US so I don't know much about the real estate market. How much do you think Cam's inheritance was and how much money did Jay give them give or take?

1. I'm nervous about it. Many years ago in the 90s I was a mentally ill teenager and without going into details me not respecting boundaries got me in a lot of trouble. It was traumatizing and I don't want to go through it again.
   
2. Even before that when I was a child and throughout most of my adult life every idea I've had has been laughed at, I've faced constant discouragement from family, basically every time I go even a little outside of my comfort zone bad things happen.
   
3. I want to respect your boundaries. You've never told me explicitly not to contact you like others have said to me before but you blocked me on pretty much every app. I purposely deleted your number from contacts just so I wouldn't even be tempted to cross that line. If I really really want to reach out to you I'm sure I could find the number in a backup here somewhere. But I get the feeling it's a bad idea.
   
4. The ratio of my messages to your responses when we did communicate is weighted very heavily towards me. It gets very discouraging after awhile.
   
5. I said I wasn't ok and didn't get a response for months. I know you might say "go get a therapist" but I wasn't looking for a therapist. I would have been fine with "hey I'm sorry to here you are not feeling well. Let's get together for coffee sometime".
   
6. I felt a little used. I did a lot of work for you. It was never about the money. I would have helped you for free. It was just I wanted to help you with something long term and you used my help as a short term fix and I ended up doing work through you for people I didn't want to be doing work for anymore. I left because those people didn't appreciate me, and through you I ended up doing it for pennies on the dollar. Again, the money didn't matter, it was the principle. I would have gladly helped you for free.
   
7. I'm afraid you might think I was using you. Like this was some long term devious plan. I'm really not that clever. As I got to spend time with you I liked you.
   
8. We're defintiely at different stages in life because of our different ages (late 20s vs early 40s). It's definitely a factor holding me back.
   
9. Even if you for some reason wanted to be with me, I was and am too weak. Without getting into a sob story about my life, it's been a very bad one. I'm depressed and overweight and not wealthy (though I do alright). I could just never give you the things you deserve. I would want you to be with someone that makes you happy and that you would feel fine showing off to your friends. Someone who doesn't have to struggle to do things around the home to maintain it. Someone who can do fun activities outside with you. Unfortuantely that's not me.
   
10. Anytime I've opened my heart to be vulnerable, I've been hurt. I've already told you in person about a couple of those times. (If you remember the only reason I was telling you was to make you feel better since you were telling me about your crush on one of your coworkers).
    

Those are the reasons. I doubt you'll ever see this. But it felt good writing this out.
Just please don't think me staying away or being mean has anyting to do with you. It's been hard for many years now. It would be nice to have someone here to help. To talk to. About anything. I could just sit here and listen to you complain about work for hours. And I know I'm far from blameless. I could write a longer letter with all my faults.
I sent you one last thing on your birthday earlier this month. I just wanted perhaps the last thing you ever got from me to be something nice. Because the message before that came from a place of hurt.
But even me with all my faults deserves some happiness, kindness, and respect. I hope you find those in your life. And I hope someday I get to experience them too.
Sorry for the paragraphs and paragraphs and not respecting the boundaries of friendship. I guess to the void the words go. I've lost my train of thought.

Naturally, I came to know Orwell with 1984, which I read roughly three years ago in a Russian translation. I was at my humble beggining in discovering literature, and the book impressed my chiefly trough its deep theoretical base, the atmosphere of utter lack of hope and ingenious terms such as 'doublethink' - anyway, you probably know what I am talking about
Yet it was only much later that I have read his other literary works - namely, those indicated in the title. There I discovered Orwell as a great analytic of human psychology, an inventive storyteller. Both novel have a bleak atmosphere with a bit of dark humor, and somewhat foreshadow themes that would appear in 1984.
In *Keep the Aspidistra Flying', Orwell depicts a peculiar intellectual named Gordon Constock, almost thirty and "already moth-eaten". The gist is that he refused his status and prospects of a "good job" in order to avoid being subservient to "the Money God" - that is, he lowers himself on the social scale, living in self-imposed penury, working in a bookshop. Generally, this Gordon would seen like an off-putting person, constantly frustrated, whining and complaining, raving about the 'end of civilization', a little bit sexist and a great deal pessimist. The reader is plunged into his interior monologue and obsessive thoughts, which are captivating to follow. The plot revolves around his fight with the Consumerist system - however, as you might have guessed, he is not a valliant knight in shining armor, but rather a vain nihilist with questionable worldview. This affects the relationship with other characters - his friend Ravelstorm (a self-proclaimed Marxist, who is distracted from thougths about the rough conditiond of the Proletariat by the soft appearance of his mistress), his self-abnegating sister Julia, etc. Also, Gordon tries to write poetry - and one of the poems is gradually 'conceived' throughout the novel, containing his impressions and emotions in a self-piteous, frustrated style - with quite a decent result I'd say. Besides, Orwell realistically describes some unpleasant aspects of London's life through the protagonist's actions: slums, squalor, drunkenness and prostitution. Per general, a great read!
On the other hand, 'Coming up for air' describes a character who is an organic part of the system - a middle-aged clerk from a London's suburb, on the surface - a typical lower-middle-class and a family man, called George Bowling. The novel is written entirely through his perspective and keeps a rather melancholic tone. The narrator, with a rueful humor, talks a bit about himself, expressing a dissatisfaction with his menial life, yet remaining fatalistic about it. Then he starts a 80-or-so pages description of his pre-WW1 life and memories from a small town - and, frankly, it stirred my interest, being related in a vivid language. His rustic life is placed in contrast with the modern, after-war existence. This leads to nostalgia, and basically the plot of the novel is consisted of an attempt to chase this feeling, to make it come true, to revive what has been long forgotten. The novel (published sone month before the WW2) contains a distinct feeling of uncertainty, fear, anguish about the future, expressed in various instances. The narrator ask himself what would become if the war starts - if the bombers arrive - which, as he thinks, will happen in 1941. But he fears not the destruction itself, but what would come after the pains of war - a new world of rubber truncheons, slogans, suppression, hate. Something that Orwell will describe 11 years later in '1984'.
Overall, I think both books are worth reading. However, you have to expect that the protagonists - Gordon Comstock and George Bowling - might not be quite prepossesing.

Time of Reading: 3 Minutes
My gf & I have been together for almost 13 months now.
She's my cousin which means her father is the brother to my mother (it's not inappropriate or taboo in my country to be in a relationship with your cousin FYI) & she's very caring - considerate - kind - overall great & we go on date nights regularly. Even had intercourse a couple times. Never fought or cursed / yelled at each other & only had 3 - 4 calm arguments where we talked about an issue over the phone. The issue being:
She believes she's not important to me even though honest to god - I love her greatly. She studies in a university - works a 9 - 5 & goes to gym every other day. We text during the day & I try to reply asap to hers. I make sure to call her when she's off from work when I was busy during the day & couldn't text her - & we talk at length about different topics. We go on date nights once every two weeks for two reasons both of which are because of me. 1st being it's a 90 minutes drive from my place to hers & I have to use my father's car. 2nd being I'm currently unemployed (finished my mandatory military service 3 months ago & I'm burning through my savings) & even though sometimes she pays our checks with no complains - I'd like to be the one paying & for her to save her money.
A couple of nights ago I called her to ask about her day & her answers were cold (either one word or short sentences). When I asked what's wrong, she brought up the argument that she believes she's not important to me & that she's disappointed that I ditch her to do other things, then continued to talk about instances of me "ditching" her the past couple of weeks when tbh I actually was busy with something, wasn't my intention to make her feel bad.
I tried explaining & that I'll try to make it up to her but she kept saying that I don't "understand" what she meant & started talking from the beginning. This happened 2 - 3 times & she kept mentioning that I didn't "understand" her words which made me slightly angry, to which I said: maybe "we" should spend a couple days away from each other to think about what the other person means since I don't "understand" what you're saying & talk to each other again in 2 or 3 days - to which she replied sarcastically: "take your time. you like spending time away from me anyway".
Afraid that our argument might turn into a fight, I said goodbye, waited to hear hers & then hung up. We haven't communicated in anyway for 3 days.
I intend to fix my relationship because I love her very much. But here's my question:
How can I assure my girlfriend that she mean more than everything to me? How do I show her my affection & feelings other than hugging - kissing or saying things like "I love you" to her? How do I make this "insecurity" of hers go away?
TLDR: My GF Thinks She's Not Important to Me (even though she is & I love her very much) & It's Causing Serious Problems to Our Relationship. How Do I Assure Her That She IS In Fact Important to Me?

TLDR: My partner had a very sudden manic episode turned into a psychotic break over the past week, and I'm not handling him being in a psych ward for the time being very well. It's honestly killing me, I'm so worried for him - I'm looking for advice and support on how to cope with this event.
My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together for nearly 3 years. For 2 years, we were long distance. In August 2023 is when we closed the distance and began living with each other in real life. Last week, the week of May 5th, is when this situation begun.
We frequently took edibles (weed) as part of our routine. Last Tuesday, he did just that - and while he was high, he started to get curious about his parents' finances. He began to text both his mother and father, asking questions about what they've saved up for their retirement. His mom seemed to be dodging his questions a lot, but eventually she told him that she estimated that both she and his father would have around 10-13 million after retirement. Not only this, but she also both implied and outright confirmed that my boyfriend would be inheriting this large amount of money after they pass away. This quickly unlocked a hyperfixation for him, and we began to talk about it together. It's all we talked about for that week, because we thought, why is this something that his mother would lie about? There's absolutely no understandable reason that she would have to lie about this. I should mention that, after Tuesday, he did not take any more edibles or substances, though regardless I feel that weed may have partially played a role in why this happened.
Throughout the week, as he was delving into this hyperfixation, his behavior began to change. I didn't truly notice it at the time, and just thought he was very reasonably acting a bit odd and excited because, this was a life changing thing that was presumably happening for the both of us. I didn't think to question his mother's statement. Me being passive to his behavior and not suspicious of his mother's statement and behavior is something I feel I am to blame for, because it turned out to be a slowly building manic episode. On Friday, May 10th, is when we found out that the 10-13 million inheritance was a lie. He was distraught - absolutely broken. Something snapped in him after that day.
On Saturday, he woke me up at 6-7 am. I suspect that he may not have slept Friday night into Saturday morning. He reassured me that he would be okay, we would both be okay after this, that we would get over it and be able to focus on something else. But very quickly throughout Saturday his behavior shifted drastically, and it turned into a full blown manic episode. For the entire first half of the day, he paced around our apartment, glued to his phone, spamming everyone in his life about the thoughts he had been having. It's normal for him to be on his phone a lot, so I didn't question this. I regret it so much, I should have noticed the signs. It's difficult for me to convey what exactly his thoughts were or what his hyperfixation was, because most of it didn't truly make sense, but the short version of it is that since the inheritance wasn't real, he began to hyperfixate on starting a business from the ground up with both me and his friends. It spiraled from there.
In the evening is when his behavior began to become violent and increasingly more erratic. He began to direct his frustration and anger towards me, starting to hyperfixate on me and our relationship, blaming me for the entire situation. We've had a difficult relationship, but we've always managed to come back full circle either way. He became paranoid of me, believed that I could hurt him, and so much more. It broke my heart. It's more than I can convey into words. Saturday evening into Sunday morning I stayed up all night with him, trying to handle the situation as best as I could, but it only got worse. Eventually, his parents arrived at our apartment. He's always had apprehensions about introducing me to his parents for multiple reasons, especially including the fact that we met online. He believed that they wouldn't understand it, and he didn't have a close relationship with his parents to begin with at all. It sucks that I could only meet them as this situation was going down.
Sunday, May 12th, is when his parents took him to the emergency room. It is only just yesterday that he was admitted into a psychiatric hospital. I'm heartbroken. I'm keeping in contact with his mother, but I haven't gotten many updates from her besides the fact that he's in a hospital and that they're waiting to hear from the doctor. Based on what I've seen with his behavior and researched, it seems that his manic episode eventually turned into a psychotic break. I also suspect that he may have bipolar 1 disorder. I'm not a doctor, but it matches up with everything that I've seen, and I'm devastated. It was horrible. His mother has bipolar disorder, though im not sure what type - though my partner did mention that his mother would have occasional manic episodes.
It's been two days since he's been gone. All I've been doing is grieving. I've eaten very little, all I've been doing is crying, and everything in our apartment reminds me of him. It's incredibly painful to be here without him because we spent all of our time together. I'm also worried about him being in the hospital itself - I don't want him to be mistreated by others or misdiagnosed. Psych hospitals can be very hit or miss, and it terrifies me. It's possible that he could be there for several weeks at the very least given how severe his mental state was. I just don't know what to do, or what this means for us in the future. He hasn't even gotten a diagnosis yet, from what I know. I just feel like I'm being kept in the dark. I don't know anything about what's happening at all. I just want him to be okay. How can I get through this? I don't think I can get through this. What happens when he gets back? Is he gonna be okay? Have any of you experienced what it's like to be kept in a psych hospital? I don't know what to do with myself when he comes back, I don't know how to support myself in the mean time, and I don't know what this means for us or for our relationship. I'm so, so scared. I'm terrified. I love him so much, I just want him to be okay.
I don't have many people around me to support me, so posting here has been my last resort. I feel awful, I feel horrible, I feel like this is all my fault. I feel like if I saw the signs earlier, I could've prevented this, I could've grounded him, I could've brought him down from where he was headed. I don't know what exact mental illness he has yet, I can only assume based on what I've seen. But, has anyone ever been in a similar situation like this? What do I do with myself? I know he's getting the help that he needs, but I can't help but worry for him. I feel super isolated and alone and anxious in our apartment. It's empty here without him, incredibly empty.
If you've read this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means more to me than you know. So, once more, TLDR: My partner had a very sudden manic episode turned into a psychotic break over the past week, and I'm not handling him being in a psych ward for the time being very well. It's honestly killing me, I'm so worried for him - I'm looking for advice and support on how to cope with this event.