Anyone else get this? I'm on Vodafone (who often drop out on calls within my own house), but I've also seen one other post here about someone's experience with Optus:
During work commutes, I find that the mobile coverage when I'm trying to stream podcasts, video etc completely drops out between Rushall and Thornbury stops on Melbourne's Mernda train line. Even if I 'preload' the content before say Clifton Hill, it will often still cut out once you go past Rushall.
People offer the possibility that it's congestion from several users on the train, but it happens even on a quiet train in the middle of the day. In exactly the same spot.
Black spot info online is as sketchy as the reception itself can be, so I thought I'd put it out there to gauge anyone else's experience/insights.
Anyone else get this? What provider? Or what provider do you have that doesn't do this? Also, anyone else in the area change providers for the better due to this? If so, to which provider?

Instead of typing one long paragraph, here are the worst parts of that job. Feel free to pick and choose what to read.

• manager said my first day I would just be watching videos all day then go home. My actual real day on the job would be the following day. Show up on my first day, watch the videos for 5 hours, then all of a sudden they threw me on the cash registers with no warning. I was not trained at all. So I was there all day from 10am to 10pm with no break.
  
• I was not trained. Period. I was thrown into work and when I asked how to do something, other employees were SO bothered to help me and sometimes pretended like they didn’t hear me. I would get screamed at and berated for not knowing how to do something when I kept asking.
  
• There is no actual system you can use to look up the price of an item if it’s missing a price tag. They give you a list of items that are similar to the product, and you the cashier, have to pick which price you think is best. There is no actual no real way of knowing what the actual price is. That sucks for both me and the customer.
  
• Managers played favorites and their favorites were allowed to leave the store whenever they wanted to go get Starbucks, even when still on the clock. They’d be gone for an hour doing god knows what when I needed help at the register.
  
• going to the bathroom counted as a break.
  
• I was verbally harassed by one employee who always told me that his insults were meant to be taken as a joke. But being called a whore and a slut every shift started to not be funny anymore. I complained to a manager and they thought I was being dramatic and needed to lighten up because the employee harassing me was gay, so that apparently meant that “it’s all in good fun”. I DID NOT KNOW THIS EMPLOYEE LIKE THAT FOR HIM TO JOKE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I DID NOT KNOW HIM ON A PERSONAL LEVEL AT ALL.
  
• One particular manager made my life a living hell by not doing her job when I needed her to. Cashiers cannot return items over $50 without a manager approving the return first. They have to put in a a manager code into the system first. Every time I had a customer returning something over $50, I would call up this manager to put in her code. When I tell you she would never come, she would NEVER come. Period. One time a customer was in a hurry to leave and was so upset that this manager wasn’t coming to help me. When I tell you I waited 15 minutes for this manager to simply walk up to the front of the store to type in four numbers…you should’ve seen the look on the customers face. She was so angry, not just because she had to wait, but she felt sorry for me that this is what I had to deal with everyday. All that manager does is sit in the office on her phone all day and eat. She will even turn off her walkie talkie so no one can page her. She simply couldn’t be bothered to work.
  
• the same manager above also one time called me at 4am to come open the store. We didn’t open until 10am.
  
• I worked with an insufferable nursing student who body shamed me and basically called me every horrible thing a girl could be called…all because I said I didn’t enjoy going to the gym. I looked her up randomly one day and found out she’s dating a guy named Simon except that his name is spelled “Semen”. So I guess karma took care of that one.
  
• Both during and after my employment I complained to HR about all of the above and NOTHING was ever done about it. I wrote a brutal but respectful review on all their job networking platforms just for the reviews to be taken down because they don’t want to admit what goes on in their stores.
  

I have never worked in such a hostile and unorganized environment like this ever before

At 5'0 and 110lbs I know weight isn't the issue. Even when I go down to 102 I still have the jiggle on my inner thighs that annoys me. And, my arms a bit too.
I just wonder have any of you lost the jiggle with walking alone and strength training videos where you dont keep on adding on heavy weights? Can walking at an incline tone me up enough?
For months when I did programs like Caroline Girvan for 3 months with weights. I didn't see any change. And, of course when I asked this question in health forums in the past people always harp on progressive overload. With me I dont need to be a body builder lol. I just want to lose the fat jiggly parts in my thighs lol. I know obvi you cannot spot tone.
I have 5, 10, and 15 pounds weights and not going to go to the gym. But, am thinking about adding on in walking on the treadmill? I hate the treadmill lol. Still want to give it a go.
Anyone just walk at a incline and lose your jiggle and tone up.

Hello all! I came here the other day asking for help finding 10 additional zombie movies to bring my list up to 100. With all your recommendations, I far surpassed that. And as I've been watching these movies, I realized I’ve watched at least one movie for each letter. There are tons of alphabetized lists of zombie movies, but I thought it would be fun to list my personal zombie alphabet, by picking my top choice for each letter.
Note: I’m not counting the word “the” in titles. So, for example, The Return of the Living Dead would fall under “R”.
Without further ado:

A

Army of the Dead (2021)
Runner up: A Little Bit Zombie (2012)

B

Boy Eats Girl (2005)
Runner up: The Battery (2012)

C

The Cured (2017)
Runner up: Contracted (2013)

D

Dawn of the Dead (1978, 2004)
Runner up: Day of the Dead (1985)

E

Eat Brains Love (2019)

F

Fido (2006)
Runner up: Final Cut (2022)

G

The Girl With All the Gifts (2016)

H

House of the Dead (2003) (I didn't actually like this one but it's the only one I've watched so far that starts with an H)

I

It Stains the Sand Red (2016)
Runner up: I Walked With a Zombie (1948)

J

Juan of the Dead (2011)

K

King of the Zombies (1941)

L

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie aka the Living Dead at Manchester Morgue/Don’t Open the Window (1974)
Runner up: Life After Beth (2014)

M

Maggie (2015)

N

The Night Eats the World (2018)
Runner up: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

O

One Cut of the Dead (2017)

P

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
Runner up: Pontypool (2008)

Q

Quarantine (2008)

R

Reel Zombies (2008)
Runner up: [REC] (2007)

S

Savageland (2015)
Runner up: Shaun of the Dead (2004)

T

Train to Busan (2016)

U

Unhuman (2022)

V

The Video Dead (1987)

W

Warm Bodies (2013)—not as good as the book.
Runner up: White Zombie (1932)

X

I cannot find a single zombie movie that starts with X anywhere. Please let me know if you know of one.

Y

Yummy (2019)

Z

Zombie (Fulci, 1980)
Runner up: Zombieland (2009)
What would your zombie alphabet look like? Are there any on here that you would switch out for another movie?

Of all the Asylum Volume 1 work outs Vert Plyo is a full on ass kicker for me. The saving grace is every time I look up at least two of the video participants are pausing and dying as well.
It’s also the only one that really leaves me still feeling like I got hit by a train hours later.
Anybody else think this is the toughest in Asylum?

I work overnights in LTC. We just got a new temporary DON. Last week I was trying to sleep and I got woken up by the constant buzzing of my phone, it was blowing up! The new DON sent a picture of a memo we were supposed to read & reply when done. So there were like 30 messages with all my coworkers responding. I was annoyed but read it & replied. 2 days ago a similar thing happened, but this time it was a video we were supposed to watch & respond when we had watched it. I was freaking pissed I got woke up again with the same bs. I deleted & blocked. Management is delusional if they think their staff should watch training videos on their own time with their own devices using data they pay for! Makes me mad! Wondering if blocking is going to have any consequences….

So, I just watched the GPT-4os presentation video today (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MirzFk\_DSiI), and I have to say I'm extremely impressed by how far this technology has come. When Chat-GPT first became a thing, I started wondering how long it'll be before artists in filmmaking are a thing of the past? We already see how realistic CGI motion capture is with actors like Carrie Fischer and Peter Cushing in Rogue One and Arnold in Terminator Genysis. And, this might seem super cringe, but the de-aging is pretty good for what they're doing RDJ in Captain America and Michael Douglas in Ant-Man (honestly anything CGI Disney does is pretty fucking solid IMO). And with how much trained AI voices are advancing, I'm curious how long until we have "actors" that aren't real?
I could easily see studios obtaining a license for actors to train AI with their voices to be used in animated films. Then, you could license faces and use a stagehand to motion cap them in movies. That way you could get someone like Matt Damon to make multiple movies simultaneously. And then, you could just start creating actors using the data gathered from everyone else. There are those who wouldn't want to do it because they enjoy physically playing a role, but all it takes is for one big name to do it, whether it be because they want the easy money, or because they're too old, or because they just want their legacy to continue after their death. Then you'd have the rest of Hollywood competing against "coworkers" that are charging pennies on the dollar for what "real" actors are demanding for their roles. And there's no reason the studios wouldn't go for it. They have big names that have no scheduling conflicts, don't get sick, don't show up late, can't have a bad day on set, don't need makeup, a trailer, food, etc. And eventually they could create "perfect" looking actors that do well with any focus group they're marking a movie towards.
I'm curious how feasible or realistic would it be that, within the next 30-50 years, we have actors that aren't physically real, that appear in every Hollywood blockbuster and who win every Oscar, every year.

[OC Intro: The game is modded to increase basic jobs cost, seasonal events are disabled. Much of the crash details are based on NASA/SP-2008-565 Columbia Crew Survival Investigation Report recommendations especially Chapter 3 "Occupant Protection".]
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries. He has only a few minutes of APU power left, goes over the best clearing he can find, and radars it. It varies by only a few feet from the aerodynamic glideslope there. He spots it out on the cameras and circles to go after that spot. He's only at two hundred feet now. With one hand on the stick, he uses the other to open the pressure equalization valve on the side hatch, then at one hundred feet, gets it undogged. Depending on how much damage he's going to get, it's less likely to be stuck closed and trap him. The dynamic vacuum this pulls in the cockpit rips most of the survival pack data cards from that rack and scatters them across the landscape. Crap, I'm gonna need those! Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, he turns on the radar for the final approach, takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and PFD, he clicks his HANS and shoulder strap locks in; after that, he can barely move, but that now is better than dying in this crash with a broken neck. He's a decent pilot and brings up the flare gently. Bringing up the alpha on this delta-winged ship, he balloons a little, but keeps the nose going up and restores a zero aerodynamic sink rate just above the highest terrain indicated by the radar altimeter. The ship bumps a little in the ground effect, and he can see the radar altitude cycling irregularly up and down about five feet at a time. Rougher than it looked from higher up! The body flap protecting the dead engines hits first, and the nose comes rapidly down. It hits, the screens go blank, and Tightniks is surrounded by airbags, some lifting his feet from the rudder petals and his hand from the control stick. It's blinding, it's disorienting, it's noisy, and, to his relief, it's long! It takes several seconds before the crashing cockpit stops moving. How many times did he flip over? Did he go sideways and roll? Am I rightside up? Are we really stopped on the ground? The airbags deflate, and he can move his arms. He gets his restraints loose and inspects himself. "Uck!" he says out loud (without the 'f'). No broken bones. His pressure suit can take his blood pressure. 116/81, pulse 112, blood oxygen 99 reads off on his left arm, I'll friggin' take it!
The ship is amazingly intact from what he can tell. He can't get any readings. The systems test meter seems to be working, but can't find any voltages anywhere. The ship seems to be completely dead. Behind him, 10 passenger seats are all surrounded by airbags and the back of the cabin ends in some sort of dirt-and-gravel and there's a bit of daylight seeping in around the edges. He was the only one on board, though, so their deployment was mostly academic (they might have stiffened the structure a little during the crash, but that's probably trivial.) Tightniks gets out of his spacesuit. The air on this planet is actually breathable. He gets the hatch open, steps outside and-
"A green shimmer erupts then disappears, and you hit the ground."
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. Where am I? What's my name? I remember nothing. Aren't babies born naked? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Gets up, looks around. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He picks up a small stone from the ground, this also feels heavier than it should. He rises to his feet and holds it out somewhat (he's unable to fully extend his arm) and lets it go. The stone hits the ground near his feet quickly and with remarkable speed. It's the gravity, it's greater than it is on- ...where am I from? This is- ...not my home planet? "Oooh..."
"Ka?" it says.
What is that? It's cute, at least.
It is not tame. He has no hope of catching it on foot. The creature seems to like the berries. Maybe if I gather some of those into one place and set some kind of trap...
33s: First trap.
I got one! The human lumbers up to the trap and gets the catch open. Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to me; I'm so friggin' screwed.
It doesn't. It looks at the human with a sense of wonder, actually. A blink and tilt of the head. Seems almost to be asking, Is it you? My purpose? My savior? Once out of the trap, which is totally wrecked, he has to make a new one from scratch, it follows him around like a imprinted hatchling bird.
Wiry little fella, you are. You're going to need some bulking up to do anything useful. The- ...'trimp', I guess... The trimp seems just barely able to feed itself. The human lets him into the broken ship's intact cabin, and it curls up comfortably in a passenger seat for a nap.
1m03s: Second trap.
"Apparently the Trimps breed if they're not working. Doesn't look pleasant."
What are they doing?
The trimps appear to be androgynous, and these two have paired off in the back of the ship. They're holding something carefully within a few hours, feeding it berries, grass, and- ...corundum.
Corundum?? Whatever that is, it isn't a baby.
1m35s: Third trap.
Only it IS a baby! The third trimp he trapped immediately joined the other two in raising it. They have a strange diet of food the human has found compatible with his own body, but they also eat rocks! They're careful to crush and sort aluminate minerals from silcate ones and only eat aluminate. Actually, they don't eat aluminate, they're only feeding it to the baby.
2m06s: Fourth trap.
All four are raising the same child, who is just starting to toddle. It seems these fellas have alumina or maybe even aluminum bones. The human takes a nap and wakes to find the first child grown up and they're starting to raise a second child, all five of them.
2m46s: Huts.
The human found a working bit of electronics. He calls it a pad, but maybe it's more like a smartphone. It has plans for two residential structures. The first, the smaller one, he can build right away, but the second one needs something called "drywall", and he has to figure out how to make that before he can build it. Huts and houses, apparently.
3m13s: 10 pop, full, first farmer.
The trimp he trained to farm and make paper took an incredible 50 units of food to get bulked up to do the work, and now it's not participating in rearing the child. But less than an hour after the trimp started farming and pulping, the child was out on its own, and the trimps did not start another. The ten seats on the ship were all full. Well, eleven counting the one up front that the human sleeps in. The pilot starts exploring the area.
3m28s: Battle.
Wait, what are you do-
The hostile roars and charges at the human, but one of his trimps jumps in front of him with a stick and they fight. It started right when the human got far enough away from the ship that the hostile non-trimps away from the ship began to regard him as leaving his own territory. After the trimp defeats the first enemy, it continues after other hostiles.
3m53s: Shield I in Z1c5.
The human is easily able to recover the loot in the territory cleared by the fighting trimp. Then he sees something glinting in the- That can't be! What the heck is that? It's a data card that fits his pad. It quite clearly regards trimp combat. He gets it loaded into his pad and studies it. I can do this, it just takes some wood. He returns to the ship to discover that they had already started on a new child before the fighter had even expired in battle. The human concentrates on his research.
4m38s: Mskel in Z1c11 defeated.
The remains of this one seem rather white and shiny. It's titanium! This enemy had titanium bones! He'll store them away. They'll be useful someday, I'm sure.
5m52s: Dagger I in Z1c20.
Where are these data cards coming from? The human wonders as he loads this one into his pad, It's for a weapon it calls a dagger. He blinks. I don't know what a dagger is. I'll take your word for it, data card. Needs metal. He has gathered some, but ore is plentiful. He can just dig and smelt it whenever he wants. For now, I'll continue researching.
6m18s: Arable in Z1c21.
It's an old cave that trimps like to live in. Why weren't they able to live there before? How could these friendly critters be confined to only the exact spot where THAT thing, he looks back where he came from, not remembering that he piloted the wrecked ship to its current resting place, crashed? This is really strange. I'll let them fill up this cave before advancing further. Wait, what about defenses? The hostiles never try to reclaim territory that they've lost, so he stops worrying about that fairly quickly.
8m22s: First hut is 0.3% first ever AP.
The trimps seem fairly easy to please in terms of living quarters. Two move into his first hut and start raising a child. The human has his tent, uniform, and the heater pilfered from his space suit. Not much of a mud fan.
9m59s: Miners in Z1c30.
Oh, what's on this data card? Sl3niw? Oh, I'm holding the pad upside down. Miners. I can teach trimps how to mine ores and smelt met- 200 units of food? Each job is getting more expensive to train a trimp for. He puts his bee nickels to his eyes and spots another data card probably 10 enemies away. "Sc"? Does that means science? I can teach trimps to do science??
13m57s: Scientists in Z1c40.
Due to the expense of training trimps, the human couldn't afford to build them shields until now, he's got Sh1-3 made for the fighter to capture the science training data card. 14m02s: One head went into that turtlimp shell, that of his fighter, but two came out: his fighter still has his head on, and he managed to get the turtlimp's head off. It rushes off after the deadly penguimp in the next cell. The shields are not doing all that much good, actually, but they're better than nothing. The human picks up and loads the science data card and- Holy runny sugar-free fudge crap! 1000 food units, but it'll endow them with the ability to speak. Good. I'm getting bored with no one to talk to.
14m28s: Bloodlust purchased and AutoFight enabled (that delay after getting it is an effect of jacking up the job cost.)
As the human buries this expired little trimp warrior, he comes to the sobering realization that he has more trimp graves in his growing trimp colony than he does live trimps. And yet they seem more hopeful now than before I got to know any of them. They seem to think I'm the solution to all their problems or- Those two look east somberly, then notice that he's watching them and smile back and wave at him. ...one problem that is specific, but very, very huge for them. [The only reason I say 'east' is because that's right on a map, and the game advances right across a row, then up. I might say 'northeast' on occasion for that reason.]
20m47s: Z1c73, Miners taken.
Are you my new mining foreman? The trimp who took to the mining training has dark brown fur that lays flat on its head. It's unusual in not having any bits that stick out from its head, ahoge or whatever. This one is relatively quiet, and while it has assimilated the mining and smelting knowledge, it needs to bulk up to do any mining. Smelting is relatively easy, and getting a strong natural draft going in a furnace is almost trivial with the increased gravity. This trimp builds furnaces like nothing. And likes to nap in holes it digs right on the spot; it's weird that way. [Puchim@s Yukipo, and furnaces are not explicit in Trimps.]
21m58s: Farming in Z1c80.
The resourcing "books" are not data cards but paper scrolls, apparently lost to the trimps. It seems that they were civilized in the recent past and some calamity swept over the planet to reduce them to this. Did I have something to do with it? Amnesia sucks harder than a Dyson- ...what's a Dyson? Whatever, it sucks. This disaster happening just before I crash in the only spot with trimps still alive would be a seriously crazy coincidence! Something is really, really wrong about all this. [The author has not sought or received product placement permission or fee from Dyson Technology Ltd. or any resellers of their stuff, just they literally suck balls and made my favorite vacuum cleaner.]
23m50s: Builder in Z1c90.
They've rescued an, I dunno, gelding trimp? It just started to build a shed around the piled lumber I left to build one. It's really slow compared to me, and just banged its thumb, but it is super cute with that long reddish head fur. That particular trimp is also fascinated with pink ribbons and likes to decorate its head fur with them. Because of its inherent inability to participate in rearing children, it isn't counted in the population. [Puchim@s Io, builder on the basis of Iori seen building in 1x10.]
26m02s: Zone 2, 44 pop, 5.5s RC with Z0/1.
It's some sort of tactical manual - tactical coordination. Coordination! He's starting to sort out some trimpese on the research he has done so far. It needs a lot of metal, so they won't be able to implement it for some time. Hopefully, they're still good one at a time, but these enemies seem to be getting bigger as we go along. Uh oh!
27m33s: Gym in Z2c5.
It's some sort of training dojo or sporting arena. The human examines the ruins, I think I can back-engineer drawings for this, get one built, and see what happens.
29m02s: 1g, 47 pop, 10.8s RC with Z1/2.
The two fighting trimps now with their gym and coordination are dodging and blocking enthusiastically, and making much faster ground against the bad guys then a little while ago when it was just one trimp fighting at a time and unable to avoid the enemy hitting back.
40m46s: Fresh turkimp in Z2c74, 63 pop, 7.9s RC, Sh1-10, Da1-5, Bo1-3, Ma1-3, Hm1-3, 6g.
Oh, wow, the laborers seem really hot after this turkimp. He cooks it up and tries a slice. It's really awesome! I have to work alongside his laboring trimps to share it, but I'm getting used to the gravity now. That scroll we found back in Z2c10 really helped. Trimps' techniques and appliances for handicapped individuals, and I'm really handicapped in this higher gravity. He joins the woodcutters with the turkimp; they're the most numerous resource laborer right now, building more gyms, enough that the block/dodge ability of the fighting trimps is almost caught up to the enemy's ability to cause damage.
43m15s: Zone 3, 63 pop, 7.9s RC with Z1/2.
I'm neglecting my science and trimp scientists are really expensive. Curiously, that grey-haired one can't speak all that well, only says "Tai" and "Shijou", but it can write and draw like nobody's business. It's the only scientist so far. [Puchim@s Takanya: Online references probably still claim that she can utter the first two syllables of any word, but she can actually utter only the first two kana syllables of someone's name, most often the given name of basis human Takane Shijou, who also has that habit. (All the utterances of the puchidoru are based on the speech foibles of their basis humans except maybe Piyopiyo, where I haven't seen anything match up so far.)]
47m32s: Finally, we can make drywall and houses. 59m30s: Z3c77, 94 pop, 7.8s RC.
Oh, those poor things are really struggling up at the front. These trimps are enthusiastic and know no fear, but I still feel like telling them to stop for a while. I don't have the heart to keep them from trying while they're still doing some damage.
1h05m24s: Zone 4, 107 pop, 9.3s RC with Z3/4. 1h15m26s: Zone 5, 120 pop, 8.2s RC with Z3/4.
"What is that?" the human asks. He has three scientists. His first does all the writing, but the other two can actually speak. One of them hops up on a rock spire beside the human to reach his eye level.
At the next ridge line, over the lowest and most passable gap in the terrain, this really mean looking hovering sausage monster.
"I dunno," the scientist trimp shrugs, "But it's making me hungry. Looks like a perfectly cooked frankfurter from here." [John Morell's dubious dirigibles.]
"Oh, yeah," the human nods, "that's a blimp."
"A blimp?" the trimp tilts its head quizzically at the human, "How could you know?"
"I wish I could tell you, little buddy," the human extends his arm braces to descend the pass on the side of the zone boundary in the boss enemy's direction, then grunts, "Let's go kill it."
1h16m11s: Z1c9, 120 pop, 10.3s RC with Z4/5. 1h33m34s: Zone 6, 151 pop, 7.4s RC with Z4/5.
1h33m54s: TP in Z1c3.
"What's this?" the human asks, having picked up the little square document with the curling corners.
"Oh," the hungry scientist looks at it, "It's a garden path, follow me."
"You want to lead me down the garden path?" the human says.
"Yeah," the scientist says.
"Are you kidding?" the human asks.
"No," says the other scientist, "We don't get human humor. Listen, these fighters can't go, let them wear themselves out here, then we'll take the next group through this garden."
"Okay," the human nods, watching two more trimps join the fray as he issues the Z5 coordination orders, "they're doing pretty well after all that block training research we just wrapped up." [That's a common artifact, even in normal games, Z5 Traintacular combines with many gyms, enough population to add several trainers, affording Blockmaster, which is expensive on a run zero, plus a break on Tion Z5, a 40% all-stat increase. I don't think Zach designed it into the game on purpose, it just worked out this way.]
1h34m07s: 151 pop, 10.5s RC with Z5/7. 1h37m44s: Drop from Z6c39, TP for 3.
"Now we have these access map frags we can use to route through the old trimpopoli," the scientist explains, "Atlimpis for food, Morimpa for gems, Everimp for metal, and Impazon for wood."
"What about the garden?" the human asks.
"Well, we got lucky with Tricky Paradise," the scientist says, "but you can randomize the route and maybe get lucky. What's with that look?"
"Somehow, I'm remembering 'frag' as something that blew up with deadly pieces," the human says. [Different video games - ones with better graphics and worse gameplay Ｏ(>▽<)Ｏ]
1h39m59s: Blues back up to the top on series I...
"Tai, Tai!" the first ever trimp scientist stops the human just before he upgrades the mace and dagger to Mk.6 and Mk. 8 respectively. It has a note for him.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" the human asks, "Do you think that's my name?"
"Shijou, Shijou," it nods as though to indicate, I KNOW it is. Then it proffers its note again. The human takes it and reads, "Don't upgrade the first row equipment right now."
"Why not?" the human asks.
"Shijou," it points at the end of the mapped route, where there's a scroll sticking out of the thistles.
2h24m07s: Zone 8, 224 pop, 12.2s RC with Z7/12.
"Your settlement is getting crowded, there's Trimps in the streets, and you're taking heat. You feel a sudden strong desire to create a map, though you're not quite sure how that would help."
2h49m10s: Zone 9, 357 pop, 9.5s RC with Z8/15.
"You can't shake the feeling that you've been here before. Déjà-vu?"
The trimps really seem to like the new high capacity mansions, and the village has rapidly expanded since they started building them.
"There's something familiar about this," the human says.
"Tai," the grey one that writes clings to his arm and shows him a note that says, "Don't give up now."
"We must persist," says the yellow one has found a foothold it can grab onto and grabs the human's shoulder gently, "If you give up to early, we'll never solve this. You'll be stuck here forever."
The human puts his hand over the trimp's paw on his shoulders, then looks at him, "I can die, too."
"No, you can't," the trimp says quietly, "Please don't test that, tall one."
"Death is just another path..." he remembers.
"Gan," the grey one squeaks. [That's the first two kana syllables of "Gandalf"]
"...one that we all must take," the human continues, "The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it-"
"A green mist," the yellow trimp interrupts, "flash of fire, we're all gone and our progress forgotten. The wandering stars return to that day, and you again crash that ship- ...a little better every time."
"Wait," the human looks around, "have I been here before?"
"I-" the yellow trimp tries in futility to share what little it knows, "...or... somebody got just a little coolant into the-"
"Into the what?"
"This side up," the grey one's note says.
"Into the that," the yellow one points at the note, "It really helped. You- ...I don't think we've ever had mansions before."
Well, of course they didn't have mansions before. That was one of my ship's data cards. How did it get way out here? Will anything start to make sense?
3h02m13s: Zone 10, 387 pop, 8.7s RC with Z8/15; '28s: 11.1s RC with Z9/19. 3h16m41s: Tough snimp after food book, L10 rand dept from lo-hi-med 118/25/96, 4 Items.
"That's twice our frags led us to gem-rich Moria," the human says.
"Morimpa," the new red trimp scientist corrects, there now being 5 scientists. [There'd be more if there were more turkimp.]
"The question is how do we use all these gems?" the human looks at the village zoning plans again, "I like those mansions and all, but they use hardly any gems compared to, well-" he gestures at the pile of over two dozen thousand gems they've gathered, "-that! And still a lot of wood and lumber."
"I think there's something," the yellow one sighs, "I wish I knew more."
Quite some time later, after they're done looting that route for equipment plans, the trimps are again advancing through Zone 10, and he hears it.
"Tai?" the grey one wonders.
"Where are you going?" the yellow one asks.
"To the farm," the human answers.
"Whatever for?" the red one seems exasperated.
"Shijou?" the grey one sighs, then looks at the fighting front. It's been around long enough to remember, "Shijou!"
"You guys already get so much to eat this doesn't do you much good," the human explains.
3h32m33s: L11 112/35/78 rand sea, dropped from Z11c6 with disband, 4.
"What's wrong?" the red one asks.
The human comforts one of the wounded. Once trimps start into a zone fight, they have to finish before they bleed out. He's really bothered making them desert in front of that second turkimp. "They had a lot left in them," he sighs, rubbing his eyes, "but we can't keep that much dead turkimp at once, we have to leave it alive to use up all of this one."
"Shijou," the grey one presents a note, "We need this map right away, anyway. Don't worry about it, Tightniks."
"Tightniks?" he looks at the grey one, "Is that me? How do you know?"
"Tai," the grey one points at the top of the human's left breast pocket.
"Ah, crud," the yellow one curls its tail around in front of itself as trimps do when they're embarrassed, "Is that really a name tag?"
The human hadn't even noticed it since the green flash blew up his memory as he was stepping out of the ship.
4h04m22s: Block (sub-8h AP is only 0.3%), taking it, 504 pop, 9.8s RC with Z10/24.
It's a pretty thick book about using shields for block instead of hit points. The pad has the stats analysis. Sh3-1 is only giving us 9% of our hit points. Turning to his trimp scientists, he says, "It seems to me to be worth it."
"Let's," the yellow one nods.
"Shijou," it hands him a note, "It scales badly, but that won't matter for a long time. I think there's a way to undo it before it matters."
"Doing it." The human takes out his pad and starts scanning.
4h29m05s: L14 rand moun 137/26/80 is really good for a lo-hi-med. 4h30m52s: Hotels.
"Ah," the yellow one says, "I knew there was something. That must be it."
5h08m09s: L15 lo-hi-hi rand gard 129/28/82 (just got explorers). 5h09m32s: Picked up Wall.
"Dam," the human says.
"Damn?" the red one chuckles.
"No," the human says, "Earthen wall dam; it's a thing that makes artificial lakes by holding rivers back."
"Lakes?" the yellow one asks, "Rivers?"
"Oh yeah," the human says, "This planet doesn't have enough rain for those..."
5h48m21: Leaving Wall from about c70 to fetch Tion Z15.
"You can't resume the map from the same point if you start another," the human reads the grey one's note.
"We can go back to the same point on that route if we hold there and finish Zone 15, right?" Tightniks asks.
"Shijou!" it seems to be saying yes.
"Yes," the yellow one adds, "but we're out of Series III upgrades, and you need a fresh map route to start up Series IV."
"We should be okay," Tightniks says, "but if we have to start it over, I don't see that being a big deal." As they advance through the rest of Zone 15, Tightniks resumes his usual duties at the research desk instead building and running traps like he was before.
The trimps seem hopeful at this decision.
5h49m10s: Fresh turkimp. 5h50m16s: Zone 16, 1071 pop, 13.4s RC with Z15/75, 13m43s turkimp (skel in c1.)
"Z:16 Seriously? Another Blimp so soon?"
"So," Tightniks lowers his bee nickels and looks at the red one, "is it going to be boss fights at the end of every zone from now on?"
"Hmm," the red trimp looks up past the human at some random rock spire or cloud.
"Well?" the human persists.
"Yup," he says.
"Hmph," Tightniks grabs a Sw3-1 of the rack and advances towards the front, "Before then, we have another Mister Titanium."
"What does he like about skeletimps?" the red one asks the grey one as the human marches off.
"Shijou?" the grey one seems just as confused by that.
"He's not going back to the ship, and he's not getting himself killed," the yellow one smiles, "so I'll take it."
5h58m32s...
"Hey guys, go for the mortar!" the human suggests to his 75 fighting trimps in the Wall's boss fight.
"I can tell from your bedtime stories that you're used to the artillery in that other place," the yellow one gripes, "but fighting works differently here, there's no artillery."
And the human instantly collapses laughing, the scientists a little worried he might have injured himself in the planet's severe gravity. But he's okay, at least physically, "Mortar is the stuff between the bricks, fellas. That's is a brickimp, right?"
5h59m18s: Wall, 1076 pop, 13.3s RC, 1% AP for sub-8h finish, first L16 roll good 156/35/84 moun, 10 for the metal.
Beyond the Wall was a more edenic section of the trimpolis ruins, doubling the production of the lumberjacks. The trimps are actually really happy with the mode of all of the laborers moving between the three big jobs, along with the turkimp, except for the foremen specialized at leading the job. It isn't enough to boost their productivity, but the human goes to them with trays of sandwiches.
6h06m52s: 50 map run 0.3% AP...
6h19m13s: Zone 17, 1141 pop, 16.0s RC with Z16/94, no turkimp.
"Z:17 You climb a large cliff and look out over the new Zone. Red dirt, scorched ground, and devastation. Is that a Dragimp flying around out there?!"
"Hmm," the human surveys the new zone with his bee nickels, "Looks like crap. Any ideas?"
"You're the idea man," the yellow one groans.
"Set the map flag," he puts his bee nickels away, "We'll run a depth for practice and to load up on gems for more hotels."
"Righto," the red one gets to work.
6h44m34s: First DCP. (Draglimp Care Package; I refuse to call it a tribute.)
"Oh," the human says, "It's tame now, so it brings back gems in exchange for food?" He looks at his gaping scientists, "That's what it looks like, huh? Guys? Yo!"
"Tai..." the grey one sighs.
Draglimp, the dragimp imprinted on Tightniks, lands beside the human, drops some gems at his feet, and accepts some scratching behind its horns before diving into the food bowl.
"You tamed a dragimp???" Grey's note says.
"Well," the yellow one huffs, "I guess that happened."
8h18m53s: L20 depth of 154/27/79.
"Mapping up here?" the red one half closes one eye and tilts his head.
"Yeah," the human says while fitting together the depth map fragments, "With the coordination book not right at the end, we have an extra mark of coordination to take advantage of. Let's take our housing up to 2000 or so, shall we?"
"Okay," the yellow one says from a pile of logs, "What's all the wood for?" They had been collecting it for days now.
"The series upgrades follow a rather specific pattern," Tightniks explains, "Just on the other side of this blimp is Zone 21, where we should be able to find the Shield series V, right?"
"Shijou!" the grey one nods.
8h56m17s: 1% AP for 100 map runs, leaving it, 1751 pop, 24.8s RC with Z20/232. 8h56m54s: Zone 21...
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from that."
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes. [Whether it looks like the one in Puchim@s 1x61 is anyone's guess. That one annoyed me as well as Chihya.]
9h02m37s: L21 moun first roll was a decent 160/26/84. 9h21m00s: Starting run 5 of that map...
Tightniks had taken his anger out on some food and wood to build about 8000 traps. Now he's leaning against a rock spire in his increasingly tattered uniform. A nap begins, perhaps unintentionally.
Wild trimps are examining the pile, finding it unwelcoming, and also finding no place in the town, just mill about. It looks like they want to help.
"Ku?" it's a blue trimp, probably a farmer waiting for stuff to grow, climbs up on the rock spire the human is leaning against, starts patting him on the head, "Ku. Ku ku." [Puchim@s Chihya.]
9h23m09s: Still working that lap...
Tightniks wakes up from that nap, and the grey one is standing there. "Shijou," it says with a note of concern, although not much of one. The note it holds says, "It wasn't me."
"Oh, what wasn't you, buddy?" He stretches out a bit, feeling somewhat refreshed. It feels like somebody washed his face and hair while he was sleeping.
The grey one is also holding a small mirror, apparently broken off from a larger mirror and with the sharp edges filed down to make the edges safe.
The human takes it from the grey trimp and holds it in front of his face to discover that somebody has bound up all his hair into about twenty little pigtails. He touches them with his other hand to confirm. "Eh, whatever." He hands the mirror back and goes back to sleep. [Puchim@s Koamimami.]
9h30m08s: The following run...
"He's not throwing stuff every which way yet," the yellow one whispers to the red one, watching the human snoozing with his pad on his knee.
"You remember that, too?" the red one asks.
"'Remember'?" the yellow one turns to face the red one, "I s'pose that's better than imagining it."
"I remember it, too," the grey one says via a playing card sized note.
"If we're stuck in a time loop," the yellow one sighs, "maybe this cycle will be different."
"Tai..." the grey one admires him for a moment. Then thumbs in the direction of the mountain, "Heh, Shijou!" it laughs.
9h35m58s: Run 8, c9 of that map.
The scientists nap and take notes, and meditate and take notes, and draw stuff. The grey one often storyboards for the other nine because it's the best at drawing stuff. They have come up with a list, and most probably "order" (they're debating whether their ranking means "order" (sequence of things happening over the various loops) or "frequency" (what proportion of previous loops they have happened in). But they've come up with this, from first (or perhaps most often) to most recent (or perhaps least often):
- The ship crashes (they're pretty sure that happens every loop) - The human builds huts - The human teaches some of his trimps to speak and do science - The human builds houses - The human makes maps - The human builds mansions - The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp - The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels - The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp - The human only recently/rarely maps the Dimension of Anger
They're all agreed that that they have never finished the Dimension of Anger. What they are not all agreed on is that they've never done this conference to figure out whether they're in a time loop or what that might mean. [See also Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Cause and Effect" ...which was sort of a time loop but they weren't going back in time. It's very interesting, but its meta makes no sense - no one ever went looking for the Bozeman in 80 years? No one who went looking for the Bozeman also got stuck? No one noticed the passage of time outside the little area of space where the not-quite-a-time-loop was happening? Errr... sci-fi writers, don't be half-assed about your time loops, lmao! Be like Harold Ramis- ...what am I saying?? (That would be Groundhog Day, which grafted a time loop into a romcom; there are no other sci-fi elements. But it was a full-blown time loop and not half-assed like "Cause and Effect".)]
9h54m06s: Dropped from Z21c95...
I think it would be a bad idea to bypass that green area, as much as I'd rather not face it. Both his domesticated trimps, which are breeding up a new group of fighters, and the wild trimps he has decided just now not to open the traps for, stare at him and point in that direction. He shoulders a huge Shield V-3 and grabs an Mace IV-2 as well and announces, "We're doing it." Thus equipped, he marches off into the Dimension of Anger.
10h27m53s: Taking Pi4-2; recently had taken Pa4-2...
The group at the front had expired, and the snimp in DoAc95 glares at the advancing colony of trimps, which had halted only because of it. It refuses to counterattack the vulnerable colony and its human, instead snorting and huffing, waiting for the next bunch of 232 fighting trimps to come in range.
Tightniks runs along the line of traps, releasing the recently tamed trimps, singing a song that he doesn't remember the meaning of, that he doesn't remember was crafted by an ethnically Chinese guy out of an African language, and later mastered by two caucasians over the internet before they ever met in person. "Baba yetu yetu uliye, mbinguni yetu yetu amina..." because it just happened to be stuck in his head. [Because the Doylian author decided on a whim to. Christopher Tin got it into Civilization IV and at the time (2010 July), I made the best video for it on YouTube, which got subsequently blown to shreds when Peter Hollens and Malukah re-recorded the song from scratch in their own voices and instruments in 2014, pity with no English translation, the purpose of my video.]
Noticing the last batch of metal he needs coming out of the furnace, he waves the waiting grey scientist to fire up the forge [to use the term properly and not as the game does], for it was time to wrap up the forging dies for the Spetum IV, Mark 2 pike heads.
"Shijou!" the grey one cheers, setting aside a snack that looks like maybe ramen, and starts jumping up and down on the bellows handle.
It takes a while for the human to chip out the tip in the two halves of the forging die, and then polish it, and then heat it up in the forge, and then quench it, inspect it, and put it into service crafting thousands of new pike heads for the fighting trimps.
But only one second passed on the map frame clock (10h27m54s) four cells behind that snimp, in the case being brooded over by this huge, and if it's honest, rather concerned megablimp.
10h35m45: Portal PB, 45 He, 4.247 He/hr, 1891 pop, 22.7s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' mace heads bounces of it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Mace IV, Mark 3 with both hands and gets it over his shoulder, its target obviously this object, anger at the realization he screams at the top of his lungs, "We are stuck in a mutha FAH-king time loop!!" His swing begins. [Tightniks almost never cusses, unlike Snugniks.]

TW: Discusses SA and stalking, although not graphically in any way.
I want to preface this by saying, I'm new to being a women, I (35F) started transitioning MtF last year. I'm discovering just how scary this world can be for women. Not that I didn't have any idea before, but experiencing it is something else entirely. I started "passing" somewhat recently, and it's made being out in public, especially alone, very stressful. Something I wasn't prepared for tbh. When I didn't pass, or was clocked as trans, men left me alone. So I think being a "pretty woman" has the most to do with it. I'm whistled at, catcalled, told to smile, have unwanted comments made about what I'm wearing or my body. I've been stalked, followed into a bathroom, and groped (separate events, different guys). All within the last 4-5 months. Needless to say, my confidence about handling myself around the general public has been shattered. I honestly didn't see this happening that badly to me, a 6' tall 160lb 35 year old transwoman. Blows my fucking mind.
Anyway, point being is that I've been particularly sensitive to discussions around SA and violence against women. I find it extremely triggering, and a stupid graphic novel I read recently is just living in my head, torturing me. In brief, it's about a young women who is kidnapped and assaulted by a stalker. Why oh why did I read that comic when it's literally a huge trigger for me? Your guess is as good as mine. It was like a train wreck, I couldn't look away. It was stupid of me to do. Something about it kind of broke me, however.
I've been having nightmares about the male antagonist, I feel like I'm actually being stalked to some degree, even tho I know I'm not. I'm paranoid, having trouble socializing, I'm not eating much, I think about that poor fictional woman constantly... I honestly don't know what's wrong with me, but it's honestly kinda embarrassing. It isn't real, but all I can see is myself I her situation. I've never experienced anything like this before, and I hate it. It sounds ridiculous to say outloud, but it's seriously harming me.
My best guess is that reading all of that brought the new fears forward based on my recent bad experiences. But still, I feel like a fictional story shouldn't be tormenting me like this. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Is there something wrong with me? Should I seek professional help? If so, what kind?
Any advice or support is welcome.

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Hi folks. The TL;DR: I'm looking for recommendations on books, YouTube channels, etc., that will help me build "basic" bike knowledge.
I have been riding for 4 years now and put in about 6,000 miles on a hybrid bike before I finally finished my degree(s), got a job, and had the money to invest in a road bike. Prior to this point, I was using a too-big Marin Muirwoods a friend gave me for free, and I just didn't have the money to do much in the way of upgrading--I slowly bought cycling shorts, bibs, and jerseys as I had money, and I learned a bit along the way, but I just didn't have the money/community around me to help me learn or step up to the next stage. I almost always ride alone on rail trails because there isn't much of a cycling community where I am.
So, all this to say I am not a "beginner" to bikes but I am a beginner in the sense of not really knowing anything technical. I'm obsessed with my new road bike and ride ~100 miles a week as part of my training for RAGBRAI, and my lack of knowledge is starting to catch up with me. I can change a flat (usually! ha), know about taking care of my chain, can take off the wheels, etc. I know some basic concepts about using the gears, obviously, and I have a sense of what "cadence" is, tho I don't have a bike computer yet (planning to get one soon--money has just been the issue as I adjust to having savings again after 7 years of school). Most recently, I've been looking at indoor trainers for the winter or on days when my dog is too anxious for me to leave the house for a ride--but I'm bumping up against not really having the technical knowledge to understand what I'd need or why one might be better than another. But it's...so hard to learn?? The videos I watch usually end up being way too technical, even when I look for "beginner" etc., and I imagine that I don't need to tell y'all that asking male cyclist friends questions is often more frustrating than trying to figure it out myself. Again, not much of a cycling community here, and local bike shops don't offer classes or anything. So, I'm looking for recommendations on books, YouTube channels, etc., that will help me build "basic" bike knowledge to help me move to the next level of understanding my bike and improving in my training. What helped you learn?
I suppose also if you have comforting words about finding all the cycling language and tech stuff confusing, I'd appreciate that, too, lol. I literally have graduate degrees! I'm not dumb! But I just don't have the head for a lot of the technical stuff at all.

alright so basically roughly 6 months ago I heard a french song in my freind’s home, it was on youtube and looked like either an album or single, It sounded good so I had to know what it is.
DETAILS

• I’m 90% sure the title was in french
• the thumbnail was a man’s head angled slightly to the right with a train on a mountain platform kinda thing going around his head with a red background
• when clicked on the video the man’s head was looking slightly to the right side at a side view, he had traintracks with an ANIMATED train going around his head (not like a necklace, it was like a mountain base with a train going around the mountain and his head being in the centre)
• I think the background is red on the animation and thumbnail
• the voice was a male french voice with french lyrics
• the beat was very good and made up a good portion of the song, it was catchy and the main reason why I want to find the song, there are some segments where it’s just music and no singing

MISC

• in a way, the thumbnail was similar to this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4omiKjgwoI

Nothing scandalous here, I just need to vent. I'm less than two months away from turning 30. I've never been in a relationship. I've never had sex. I've never seen a girl naked in person, been seen naked, felt up a girl, slept in a bed with a girl, or even cuddled. I did kiss a girl, but it was just a couple quick kisses on the lips. Hell, my first kiss was also when my last date was, over eight and half years ago. I feel like a failure, a weirdo, an outsider.
I know not everyone is out there having sex in high school, or hooking up in college. But I wanted to have those cliche experiences. Instead I just let my anxiety control me. I stay in my comfort zone and now it feels too late to get out. I know I'm still young, but after four years of therapy I don't feel I'm much different.
Sure, my therapist will say I've made dramatic improvements. I moved out of my parents house, I'm on meds, I got convinced to get on dating apps. I have a decent paying job, I'm reliable and always there, no student loan debt, no car debt, I have a 401k, I have friends, I'm smart, friendly, funny, and just in general a good person. But I still have low self-esteem and confidence. I built some up over the first two some years of therapy, I started to think I'd had a chance with women. I mean, I can actually have conversations without making it sexual and I'm respectful.
That's why my therapist was finally able to talk me into using dating apps. After a year I've had zero dates. In real life I still can't approach strangers in general so forget approaching a cute girl and trying to flirt or as her out. Hell, I don't even know where the hell people go to meet people. And now that I'm living on my own I'm lonely all the time. I come home to nobody. I eat dinner alone. I go to bed alone and wake up alone. And what's worse, I'm tired.
Just... tired. I work manual labor so I get home tired. I relax and I'm still tired. I tried exercising, still tired. I'm just tired of being tired. And I don't have the motivation to change anything not that I even know what to do to change. It's like I'm suffocating but I don't know how to get air, and if I did I don't have the energy to get it. I'm so tired I came the closest I'd been to suicide since high school. Probably the only reason I'm still here is I don't want to burden somebody else with the mess. Rope, gun, pills; somebody will find me and somebody will have to clean it up. Train, car, bridge; somebody will be traumatized and have to clean it up. I can't inconvenience somebody like that. I'm not sure if that means I'm thoughtful or so low on myself that I'm not worth the hassle.
So if this is how I feel after years of therapy, how many years until Im good enough to be in a healthy relationship? How will I even handle a relationship? How bad will I be at sex? How off put will women be by a 30+ year old guy who has never been in a relationship, dated, had sex, or even got to first base? How bad will I be living with somebody else? How long until I learn how to date or flirt or kiss? How long until I feel like I can really live?
I'm just torn. I want to live life. But I don't know how. There's things I want to do. But I'm too tired and too caught up in my own thoughts and anxiety.
So I turned to reddit. I met some wonderful people, they told me I'm cute, I'm kind, good at writing and conversing, that I'm a catch. A couple of them even talked about meeting and maybe seeing how we vibe and maybe having sex. Of course then they stop talking suddenly and I'm left to start over again. Finding someone you can just easily track to is so hard. Finding someone to talk to who isn't trying to sell you something is fucking hard and exhausting. And then you find them, put in energy and effort into cultivating that friendship, you see it start to blossom, and then one morning you come out and find out a deer ate the friendship down to the roots overnight. Now all you have left is a pot of dirt with what was something that made you smile. Something you looked forward to seeing.
I'm just tired of being tired. I'm tired of wanting to have a woman want me, desire me, want to hold and comfort me, wanting someone to choose to spend their time with me. I'm tired of wanting to have someone I can spoil, I can put my skills towards making happy, who I can hold and comfort and support. I'm tired of wanting to feel someone's embrace, their head on my chest and their arms around me, a simple kiss, moments of lust and passion, a simple touch on the arm or their fingers weaving with mine. I'm tired of not knowing what I want or what to do or what will make me happy. Im tired of not even being sad, just feeling tired.
I just don't know what to do, what to change, how to change. I wish I could just give up and live alone, happy to play video games and be alone. I always remember a quote from a TV show:
"The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't the search for meaning; it's just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead." - Mr. Peanutbutter

i’m 22F and i recently started thinking about joining the military (currently leaning towards air force). i’ve been doing my research and watching videos on basic training and i’m kind of scared ngl. i can easily work to get the PT requirements down but how do you deal with getting yelled at like that? i feel like im gonna cry and embarrass myself. how did you deal with it? do you just kind of get used to it? pls send any advice my way

Hi all, today was my second day at Harley Davidson Riding Academy and I feel so defeated. I could really use some advice.
I used to ride a motorcycle 22 years ago, and have been wanting to get back into it, but since it's been so long I really wanted to take a class. I heard about the Riding Academy, signed up, and took the MSF e-course. The first day was watching lots of videos, quizzes, discussions, and a tour of the shop. All that was great, and I was looking forward to starting to ride today.
Until we got out to the training area, and I sat on the bike. I am a small woman, 5'1", 105 pounds. The motorcycles we are learning on are MUCH bigger than I anticipated - they are a sports style 500, which wouldn't be such a big deal, but I can't touch the ground. There were no smaller motorcycles for me to ride, so all day today I struggled with a bike I could barely maneuver on my tiptoes. I dropped it twice just in the first 20 minutes of walking it around in neutral. The instructor explained that HD forbids them from making any changes to the bikes, such as lowering them or changing the seats. I ended the class bruised, hurt, and in tears after falling so many times on a bike that is clearly way too big for me. I am dreading going back tomorrow to try to finish the class, and my confidence is completely shot.
Should I try to wear taller boots? Should I just give up? I wish I'd known more about the bike I'd be using before starting the class, because if I'd known the standover height I wouldn't have wasted the $375 and missed 3 days of work. I'm afraid after all this they're just going to fail me anyway. But maybe I can squeak by, get my license, and just practice more on my old Honda that's safe and comfortable.

i have 3 months of experience laying ceramic but i can't afford to keep working with the guy i'm currently with. i have an opportunity lined up to go do commercial lvt with a union but i'm not sure how well i'd fare as i'm still basically a complete newbie. the commercial job said they're willing to train somewhat but are more looking for guys that can direct themselves. i watched some videos and read up a bit on lvt installation and it seems pretty straightforward compared to ceramic but i just wanted to get some opinions from people that have done both. thanks