Caught the primary swarm and put them in a newer hive with some comb (last week) and they seem to be doing good. They were 30 feet up in a tree and it was a 3 day process capturing them again. Came home from work to work from home and was informed my original hive swarmed again and they were in my neighbours tree at sholder level. I thought oh thank god they aren't 30 feet up in a tree this time this will be easy.
As I'm working from home I couldn't just immediately capture the cast (?) swarm, so I walked over to tell my neighbours about it (and to tell them I'd take care of it), as I was showing my neighbour where the swarm was they all went swarm mode and began moving again. They went about 1 km away as I followed them shoeless and they went up into a thick forested area where I couldn't follow without my shoes. I grabbed my shoes and went back although I have no idea after a search where they went. I looked for a solid 30 minutes but I have to work so I couldn't spend all day looking :(
I don't think I'll be able to locate the swarm but Ill look after work and i'm keeping an eye on my small towns Facebook group. I'm pretty mad at myself that I didn't immediately capture the swarm and I've definitely learned my lesson not to wait. The primary swarm stayed for 2-3 days on the high up tree and the cast (?) swarm went past where the primary swarm went but the last I saw they were about 50 feet away from the primary swarm's tree. I assumed I would have at least a few hours before the swarm moved but it was midday so I should've known they were likely to move.
Will the hive be okay? Is there too much of a loss of bees for it to survive? The primary swarm was quite large and the cast swarm was maybe 1-2000 bees (definitely smaller). Both hives have normal activity and look fine but will that loss of so many bees severely impact my original hive?
I think both hives will be fine but I'm kind of mad that I missed an opportunity to have three hives. What can I do to support both of my hives after this hectic week?

I received a job offer from Morgan Stanley at the end of March. I am now in week 7 and still currently waiting for my background check to pass. My current role is in a different city from the one that this new Morgan Stanley job is in and Morgan Stanley is expecting me to move to that city upon hire. Because of this, I have to stay with my mom as I cant sign a lease in the city of my current job because I wouldn’t be able to move to the city Morgan Stanley is requiring me to move to upon starting with them. My mind house is not in the city of my current job and is actually 4 hours away from it. I have been stuck commuting 8 hours every day from city to city for the past 7 weeks because Morgan Stanley refuses to complete my onboarding in a timely manner.
The recruiter claims she has no idea who my hiring manager is and the other HR lady on my case claims she does not have information regarding my background check. My question is, who does have any information? I turned down other offers for this job and they have been drawing out this process much longer than expected and needed.
I have only been working professionally for 3.5 years and have only worked at easily verifiable companies. I have also lived at the same address my entire life. Please note they are not doing a criminal background check as I have already completed that.
The background company, Cisive, has erroneously completed my background check stating they couldn’t verify two jobs. I submitted employment verification letters for both jobs and had the owner of one of the companies call Cisive to verbally verify as well. Cisive went ahead and left all that information I sent over out of my completed background check and now Morgan Stanley is threatening to revoke my offer.
Do I have grounds to sue Cisive for the erroneous background check? And am I being unreasonable being extremely irritated with this process?

I, (18F) moved in with my boyfriend (19M) a couple of months after I turned 18, and my parents were furious and hurt. There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so bear with me.
My parents (40F and 42M) are very religious and were somewhat strict while I was growing up. I have two younger brothers, one 17 and one 8 (this will be important later). For context, my father is a pastor at a local church and my parent’s religious beliefs are the reasoning behind most if not all of their actions. Growing up, I was never a stereotypical girl. I didn’t have many female friends and was usually not accepted in groups with guys as I was a girl and we were kids. I was extroverted as a child but due to being repeatedly rejected by kids my age, I became more introverted. I was a major nerd who loved superheroes and I wanted to play sports. Again, for context, the town I grew up in was very conservative and my parents are very conservative themselves. Girls liked girl things- even if they claimed that’s not how they felt, it’s how they acted. However, as a kid, I did not realize this. I played soccer and basketball growing up, regardless of how “weird” it made me because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I was probably around 9 or 10 at this point. It was around this time my parents started having issues with my hobbies. I remember my parents trying to convince me to be a cheerleader because I would “like it more,” but I insisted on playing basketball. (This basketball/cheer program was through our church by the way). Because I was still young, they let it slide, but to this day I remember them being annoyed with it. This is also around the time dieting was introduced to me as well as calorie counting. I have always struggled with my weight and so has my mother, so they were very adamant on making sure I was being “healthy.” I didn’t understand it, but as a child, the only thing I was worried about was making my parents happy. A lot of discipline I received revolved around emotion. What I was doing was right or wrong and if I did something wrong, I felt terrible and awful and would often come crying to my parents about the mistakes I made, fearful of their disappointment and anger if they found things out themselves. They also made everything a moral dilemma- everything was about God and religion and as a kid, it really messed with my head. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, seeing it as God’s punishment for my behavior. When I was 9, I went so far as to blame my grandmother’s death on myself because I was hanging out with boys instead of girls. This made me to be more of an introvert and my now anxiety disorder is much much worse.
About a year later, my parents sat down with me and my brother and told us they wanted to adopt. At first, I was very excited. I loved the idea of having another brother or sister. And I wouldn’t trade my 8 year old brother (let’s call him Scott) for anything, but adopting kids is part of what triggered a huge change in my parent’s behavior. Also- I had started getting older. I loved playing video games, watching cartoons and writing. However, these weren’t the things they wanted me to like I guess, because I started to feel their judgment become more clear and apparent as I got older. Now, I assume this is because as a kid, I just did what I was told, or my oddities were assumed to fade over time, but that is not the case anymore. Anyways, entering middle school, our family fostered a little girl, let’s call her Ally. A young woman in our church had told us that Ally’s family was out of the picture, and as her aunt, she couldn’t take her in as she was already a single mom and planned on adopting her brother, but couldn’t handle all three alone. So my family stepped in- however, we had come to find that her father was still in the picture and was actively fighting for custody. And Ally was a bit of a handful. My parents have admitted that they expected to swoop in, save a child from a hard life and be the heroes, and when things were harder than that they were very upset. Ally was about three- she remembered her mom (who was in jail i believe), her sisters, her grandma and grandpa, as well as her dad. She didn’t want our family, she wanted hers. She didn’t listen to my parents and rejected their parenting. This is what started to make my parents snap. I understand it was hard for them, but now that I’m older, I get it. She was a little girl who wanted her family. But they took her rejection very seriously and were constantly unhappy with her and made sure she knew it. Children not listening immediately was newer to them as my brother and I both did pretty much whatever they asked, and they did not take well to being told “no” by a child. 8 months after living with Ally, she was taken in by her grandparents to live with them and her sisters. The next day, my parents took my brother and I on a small trip. I’m not sure if it was to cheer us up or to celebrate. I was quite sad though- I had started to really care about Ally and had convinced myself that “God would take care of things” and I would have a sister. But I was angry- God took someone away from me and I was doing everything right. Why was he punishing me? Nothing made sense. Yet, only a year later, my parents were considering taking in another child. I wanted nothing to do with it- God had already taken one sibling away from me. I couldn’t do it again. In the end, I agreed and soon became attached to this little boy, who was two when we met him. This was Scott. I immediately became attached- and I love this kid more than I can describe- he’s my little brother and I would do anything for him.
This is where things start to go further downhill. Scott has a lot of trauma and mental issues, one of those issues being oppositional defiant disorder. That basically means that listening to any form of authority is near impossible for him, and causes him to lash out and act younger than he is. This is probably due to a number of reasons, as he was severely neglected and abused as an infant and his birth mother was on several different substances while pregnant with him, to the point where he was born high on several illegal drugs. He was left in a car seat for most of his infant life, so the back of his head is slightly flattened due to this. My parents are very obedient/disciplined-based parents, so his behavior rocked their world. In my opinion, the way they handled things with Scott was borderline abusive. There were several occasions where he would say he hated them (as young children do when they're mad) and they would flip. Telling him that if he didn’t want them that was fine. They didn’t need him. He could run back to his other parents, but his mom was in jail and his dad didn’t want him, so good luck with that. If we were in the car when this happened, they would threaten to leave him on the side of the road and good luck finding his way home. Once my mother literally pulled to the side of the road, placed him outside the car and started driving so he would “think they would leave him if his actions didn’t change,” but she turned around to get him. Because they would “never actually abandon or hurt him,” their actions were justified and perfectly fine. They would tell him he was acting like a baby when he started to cry and scream. “Little baby Scott, do you need a diaper?” Is how they would tease him when he became older, which just made his tantrums worse. They would tell him how disappointed they were with him and that he should be ashamed of himself and the way he acted because they gave him everything. They would call him, to his face, “an ungrateful manipulative piece of shit.” Because according to my parents, he could control his actions 100% and was choosing to act out to make their lives difficult. While I understand that this was hard for them, in my opinion, this in no way excuses their behavior. One time, Scott was crying and was upset (who knows why, but the kid had a lot of trauma and mental issues so it didn’t bother me too much), and my mother picked him up and put him in his room. She told him that every time he tried to leave his room, she would take away one of his stuffed animals. (He had several that he loved very much). Because this sounded so terrible to him, he ran after her trying to say it wasn’t fair. So she went into his room and took a stuffed animal. This cycle continued while he cried and begged for her to stop, because he just didn’t get it that she was going to keep doing this over and over and his trying to convince her was making it worse. Eventually, there were none left, and she told him if he didn’t stop crying she was going to throw them all away. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do know that several of them were thrown away, if not at that time than others. There are many other instances of things like this and worse occurring, but we’d be here for a while if I tried to recount them all. Moving forwards to closer when I was moving out-
Now, several years later, when I turned sixteen, I had come to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. This went against everything my family was for, and I knew exactly how they viewed queer people. So, I started learning about different branches of Christianity and felt like I knew a God who loved me as I was and was happy in my decision to switch denominations. (My parents were baptists, and I wanted to be non-denominational). A few months after this, I decided to tell my parents the truth. I had done my best to give them hints, but I wanted to be honest with them because I trusted that they would love me and be there for me no matter what. When I told them I wanted to talk to them about something, they pushed and pressed and I had been trying to wait to talk to them until the next day. I had been seeing my high school counselor, and she suggested giving them a heads-up before springing that conversation up on them. However, after telling them to wait, they went through my phone and saw that I had researched different denominations and read different sermons on queer-accepting faith. They were livid. To be clear- I had a friend over while this was happening. We were watching a movie and joking about how I lost my phone and couldn’t show them this picture I wanted to. Then, I was called upstairs. I had apparently betrayed my parents and, “how could I do this to them, when I had someone over?” My father demanded I send my friend home, but my mother convinced him for one more hour. I was told not to tell my friend anything they had said and to act like things were fine, but I couldn’t. I went back downstairs where we were hanging out and started sobbing. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Everything was over- and the people I thought would love me no matter what made me so afraid and sad, I was completely broken. My friend did their best to comfort me and even felt weary to leave me alone with my family but I told them I’d be okay, and asked that they update our friends about the situation. That night was hellish. So many conversations, them trying to understand what I felt, but not taking me particularly seriously either. That night turned into weeks of books, slideshows, conversations, and prayers. It felt like at-home conversion therapy. Eventually, I was given a choice “put my convictional flag in the ground or loose their trust.” As the petrified 16 year old, I chose to lie. I put my “flag” in the ground and did my best to, “earn back their trust” and repair their reputation that I had tarnished. The next couple months were a blur. I felt so terrible about myself. I didn’t know what I thought or believed and I became extremely hyper anxious and depressed. I had lost all sense of privacy and I did trust my parents further than I could toss them. My 17 year old brother (he was 14 at the time, let’s call him James) was 100% on board with my parents. My life felt like a living nightmare. My parents had it so that all my texts sent or received from my phone would go directly to theirs, so I couldn’t even confide in my friends without getting into trouble (which had happened and was how I found out that they did that because I deleted the texts immediately after sending/receiving things).. Everything felt like it was about me and how I needed to earn back their trust and how I was a terrible betrayer who they were not proud of in the slightest. I had gone to get a pixie cut (with their approval) and after they told me I was disgusting and repulsive and would never find a man to love me. I was heartbroken and felt so alone and unloved in my house, while I had to watch my younger brother be treated the way he was by my parents.
Luckily, I had a lot of friends and our school counselor who had been there for me through everything. They showered me with support and love and made sure I had a safe space to exist and truthfully I think they’re the only reason I didn’t do anything drastic and am still here today. It was hard though because James went to the same school as me and would tell my parents if I was with anyone he knew was queer or queer accepting. This caused me to be very very paranoid about who I was with, when, where, etc. Constantly covering my tracks, having an excuse set up and ready to bolt if I saw anyone I knew. What made things equally hard is that the church my father works at is quite big in our area. So if someone from our church or someone who knew my family saw me with anyone they labeled as “queer” or “gay,” they would tell my family as well. For the most part, I didn’t feel safe anywhere. I was constantly alert and on guard, even when I was asleep as my parents had woken me up before to confront me about someone I was friends with at school.
Fortunately for me, despite everything being such a mess, I am quite academically smart. I got a job the second I turned sixteen as I had heard the horror stories of queer kids being kicked out and wanted to be prepared. I had been saving money, taking college classes (we have a state program that pays for the classes while you’re in high school), and putting on a show for my family for quite some time. After saving some money, I paid my parents for an older car that they had paid off ten or so years ago. After my brother turned 16, he claimed it was too hard to share a car with me, so while I was away visiting a friend they bought him a car and told us that they expected each of us to pay them one thousand dollars before we graduated high school and that when we did so, they would sign over our respective cars to us. To be clear, I contributed to insurance and paid for my own gas, as well as contributing to my phone bill and money for food. Meanwhile, my brother had no job, and was constantly asking my parents for money to go out with friends. He had also taken up golfing, which as most people know is extremely expensive, and my parents funded everything. James had actually admitted to asking for more money than he needed and save the leftovers for whatever he wanted. I was also expected to chauffeur him to golf events and to get togethers with his friends, and my parents would in return give me some gas money. Another thing to note is that the only reason I was contributing to our phone bill is because James wanted unlimited data and my father said it was unreasonable unless we both contributed financially. I refused as I was trying to save money (as I would have with the car situation), however things per normal went James’s way. However, because he did not have a job, he was not expected to pay anything and would not be charged for the months and years that he did not contribute to. I did my best not to let these things get to me and to keep a level head. I paid my parents for the car because I already had over two thousand dollars saved as a seventeen year old high school student due to my hard work.
I focused on my classes and joined theater to help fill the hours in between school and work. I was much more active my sophomore year but when James also decided to join theater I retreated a bit as my once safe space to freely exist was no longer safe. I joined the stage crew but honestly that was also very enjoyable and lethargic for me and I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways, I was mostly a straight A student besides the stray Bs and one or two Cs (psychology and AP government screwed me over) and was working 15 or so hours a week. This is on top of my commitments to the church which were most of my Sundays and my Wednesday evenings. The funny thing is though- James missed more church than I ever did yet because my absence was because of work and not golf, I was the one consistently reprimanded for my lack of attendance and socialization whilst I was there. Yet because James could never do anything wrong and was a very extroverted person his lack of attendance wasn’t as serious as my own. I had one close friend through our church, let’s call her Grace (now 18F) and she actually knew about everything and was very supportive of me. I also had some other friends who really only showed up to church so I didn’t have to go through the torture alone which I don’t know if I could ever repay them for. Besides the people I was comfortable with though, I was pretty much a loner there and this heavily displeased my parents as it made them look bad and messed with their reputation. I never realized how much appearances meant to them until all of the shit that happened took place. As I mentioned before, our church is very conservative and traditional, and many sermons and lessons revolved around gender roles and the sinfulness of the world in terms fo the LGBTQ community. I consistently felt targeted because of my looks and my personality and stopped feeling comfortable there a very long time ago.
Now that more context is in place, fast forward to the end of my junior year. I had at this point finished all my high school requirements for graduation and was given an incredible opportunity to go to our local college full time for my senior year. I was very excited and happy because not only did it give me more freedom but it also meant I would get more than a year of my college education paid for by the state.
It was also around this time when I met my now boyfriend, let’s call him Dean. We were coworkers and had begun to get to know each other. We had a lot in common and while were different people personality wise, we enjoyed each other’s company quite a bit. By some miracle, I convinced my parents to allow me to hang out with him outside of work by claiming he was just a friend and saying that he was a Christian (which is by no means true). They were extremely skeptical but allowed us to hang out. We had an incredible time- and by the end of our first date he asked me to be his girlfriend which I happily accepted. I was so happy, but when I got home, things spiraled out of control. I told my parents about our time, and they were extremely unhappy as they felt fooled (which they were to be fair) and told me I was not allowed to see him ever again. I was devastated and they said a lot of very uncalled for things and but I understand why they were angry. To be clear, they knew I had a romantic interest in Dean and that this hangout was to see if we would be compatible partners and get to know each other better. They did not call it a date though because they weren’t comfortable with it, even if it was a date and they kinda knew it. So while they were on some level “fooled,” I feel that their anger and harshness wasn’t called for as they knew the intentions of our hanging out. The next morning my father demanded to see my phone. This is when I started to panic. You see, they had stop tracking my texts and I had openly flirted with Dean over text. Nothing that explicit and no photos of any kind. But the flirting would be enough for them to tear my world apart and I knew it. They had gone through my personal conversations before and made me feel terrible because of it and I refused to let them do it again. So I deleted everything. The entire conversation chain, I removed it from my phone 100%. My parents absolutely lost their shit. They had been manipulating and gaslighting me for years, doing anything and everything to keep their control and with my actions I showed them they couldn’t control me forever and things went very downhill. I lost all my privacy and was once again told how I had betrayed them and I was terrible and couldn’t be trusted. Again- I partially understand their anger here because I had directly disobeyed a command. But at the same time, I feel as a young woman I should be allowed some sense of privacy and the ability to talk to people without being constantly monitored. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and would happily do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d be where I am today. Regardless of this, my life became a living hell once again, and my parents compared this to when I came out, “which was maybe the worst night of their lives.” They stripped me of all my privileges even if I didn’t have many to begin with. They made me feel absolutely miserable and awful about myself and I was monitored like never before. I would be working and receive texts upon texts of how I was so terrible and how could I do this to them because they had done everything for me and I’m a terrible daughter who should be ashamed of myself for the deceit and malicious nature of my actions. Again- this was because they could not read the messages between me and my now boyfriend. I understand them being mad but they took it to a completely inappropriate level. I shared everything happening with my friends and counselor and they supported me and assured me I did nothing wrong and they would be there for me which helped but as my home was now a living hellscape it was hard to hear it. I found a way to tell Dean about things and at first he felt guilty but I assured him that their actions were not his fault but theirs. He then asked me if I wanted to pause our relationship but I told him honestly that they had taken so many things I cared about over the years and I refused to let them take this. I did tell him however I understood if he didn’t want to put up with all the complicatedness of my family but he told me he cared for me and would be there so long as I was okay with it. He also told me if things ever got really bad at home, regardless of the fact we had just started dating, he had spoken to his family and they offered me a place to stay if I needed/wanted it. This really touched me, but I reassured him that it was not his job to offer that, but I appreciated the offer.
This begins our relationship and we were very happy. We had found a way to communicate over email, and we were able to hide our relationship with my family. Luckily for me, over the years I had made a habit of hanging out at the park by myself so it was not strange for me to head to the park for a couple of hours. There, I would leave my car and phone (my phone had a tracker on it) and Dean and I would hangout multiple times a week and it was heaven. At this point, we’ve only been dating for a year but I can admit without any doubt that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. During the school year, it became easier for us to hang out in between classes as we both went to the same college (I am older for my year in school and he is younger, so he was a sophomore in college while I was a senior in high school. However, we are barely a year apart in age for anyone who is concerned). However, in order for us to communicate and hang out, I had to be extremely diligent and was consistently covering my tracks while “once again, earning my parents trust and repairing our relationship.” Because of course their actions were completely justified and I was the one in the wrong, per normal. Anyways, every day, I was editing search histories, erasing messages, and looking over my shoulder. Our church had a program on campus where Dean and I went to school, so being together in public was risky as my father’s friends and coworkers were always on campus and I knew I would be screwed if we were caught together. We had a couple of close calls over the months but it was all worth it because I hadn’t been that happy in years.
Now, to the day I left and why. You see, my parents' behavior towards Scott was becoming more aggressive and worse over time. They also had, in my opinion, a drinking problem. Considering they didn’t deny it when I called them out, they may agree. They would behave more hostile after several drinks and it was happening so consistently I was constantly walking on eggshells. Between the way they treated Scott, the way they treated me and the constant stress I was under trying to balance my life in fear of the repercussions, things became too much. When things weren’t going to shit, I was consistently expected to either babysit my brother and do chores while being a full time college student and working a part time job WHILE attending church multiple times a week and keeping up with my responsibilities as a senior. This is on top of the stress my parents' behavior caused, meanwhile James was expected to do almost nothing in comparison. Don’t get me wrong- he didn’t do anything, but he had almost no responsibilities outside of school and his extracurriculars which were exclusively funded by my parents. Yes he helped with dishes during the week and would keep his space tidy. But as my schedule became much more flexible due to my school schedule, my expectations around the house became much higher than his. Even though I paid 200 a month on gas, 50 a month for insurance and 50 a month for the phone bill, and he paid nothing for his car, insurance, phone, gas, nothing. So you would think he would be expected to help in the house more but no. Also, James’s behavior towards Scott mimicked my parents and so all babysitting responsibilities fell on me as they couldn’t be trusted alone together. I was rarely if ever paid for my cleaning or babysitting services as it was my responsibility as their eldest child. They would also consistently judge me for my weight, cloths, hair, hobbies, etc. Why did I think it was a good idea to get fast food? I clearly didn’t need it. They would “outfit check me” to make sure the outfits I wore were feminine enough because the way I look effected their reputation and I couldn’t be trusted. I was not allowed to cut my hair after their tantrum over it. As for my hobbies, I stopped playing sports in middle school as I am very short (currently 5 foot even) and was unable to keep up with my peers. However my interest in video games and cartoons wasn’t feminine enough and they proceeded to compare me to my best friend Grace because she was skinnier and liked more feminine things than I did which hurt a lot. Another thing for context, I have PCOS. It’s an endocrine disorder that heavily effects your metabolism and hormones, which in turn severely effected my weight, however my parents never acknowledged it and again made everything my fault. So from what I wore, what I ate, who I hung out with and what I enjoyed doing was constantly criticized, scrutinized and eventually controlled by my family for years. On top of everything else, I was done. I was 18, I had resaved the thousand I paid my family and knew I was at a place where I didn’t need them and was tired of being treated like shit. So I left.
The night I moved out was a total shit show. I had rallied Dean and my other friend, let’s call them Rita (18NB), and they helped me form a plan. When I returned home, Dean and Rita would be on their way. I would pack everything that belonged to me or I felt they would let me take, and prep the bags outside. After Rita arrived I went to try and explain to my parents that I would be leaving and explain calmly why. In a perfect world, we would have had a long deep talk, and things would have ended alright. That is far, far from what happened. They immediately starting screaming, and took my phone and car keys as both belonged to them, which I calmly handed over. Rita was there for emotional support, and put themselves between me and my parents as they got more angry and seemed to be turning aggressive. After that, my father called the police and claimed that there was an intruder in their home trying to take their child. Yeah. Complete bullshit- which to this day I’m surprised they were never charged with falsifying a 911 call. They screamed at Rita to get out of their home and was screaming that I was throwing away everything and I needed to reconsider. I ignored them and attempted to calmly walk out, and my parents attempted to barricade the doors while harassing Rita to leave. Because Rita is incredible and one of my closest friends now, they refused to leave without me which was very calming. While my parents were distracted yelling at them, I slipped out through the garage. My mother saw this and then grabbed me, attempting to drag me inside by my arm. Rita saw this and assisted me in getting her off me, and after doing so we continued to walk towards Dean’s car where he was waiting for us. He figured it would be best if my family didn’t see him for the time being as they would definitely lose their minds at seeing his face. My parents continued screaming and then the cops arrived. They were quite confused at first because they had been sent to deal with a potential kidnapping, only to see two grown adults throwing a tantrum because their adult child didn’t want to live with them anymore. That night was honestly so insane I could write three more pages about everything they said and did. The most notable events were first when my mother tried to explain to the police that because I was her child, she was allowed to put her hands on me, which they humorously informed her was not the case. The next was when James came home from theater rehearsal, to which my parents told them that I was abandoning our family. He was an emotional wreck through all of it, and to this day has told me that until I “fix” things with our parents he is not okay with having any form of relationship with me. Throughout all of this Scott was in his room, and I was allowed to give him one last hug before leaving. The final and most notable thing, was as the cops allowed my boyfriend, Rita and I to leave, my father threatened violence towards my boyfriend and accused him of "taking advantage of his underage daughter," which is just ridiculous as we are practically the same age, and anything we had done together was consensual and reserved for after I turned 18. Another thing my parents did was go through each bag I had packed and took everything they felt belonged to them, including the laptop provided to me by my high school, which they hilariously were made to give back to me several days later as it was not theirs and they had no right to take it. They tried claiming they were giving it to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but that bullshit meant nothing as after I informed the school of their behavior, the school assured me they would be made to give it back. Another thing they threatened to do as I left was pull me out of high school, which I was assured by the police they were not capable of doing as I was 18. The police were for the most part annoyed with my parents, tired of their bs and told me I seemed to be a capable young woman and wished me the best of luck. My parents had tried to ask the police to say I was mentally unstable for the time being so I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, as their “she’s still in high school” excuse didn’t do anything. You see, as my father is an influential church figure and had friends in the police force, he thought they would be on his side but was sorely mistaken as the chief told him they wouldn’t be doing him any favors. And with that, I was free.
My boyfriend's family has been nothing but unconditionally kind and supportive and have accepted me as part of their family which has been a huge blessing in all of this. I am in contact with my father’s sister and his father, my aunt and grandpa, and as I have expressed my unhappiness at home, they are supportive of me as well. However, as my aunt lives further away and my grandpa is not in the best place to have me live with him, I have been with my boyfriend's family since I left home in October. I have a lot more I could say but I already feel like there are way too many parts here and so for now I’ll leave it at this. So yeah, AITA for moving out after I was treated like shit for years while witnessing the mistreatment of my sibling?

Okay... this is a difficult post to make as the WS, because I have debilitating shame and remorse and fear., so putting it all out there is scary... But here goes...it's a long one....
I am 41F, married to my wonderful wife, 33F, for almost 4 years, together for 8. She is gay, the first woman I have ever been with and I identify as bisexual. My 15 year old son from my previous marriage lives with us and my wife has taken the role of stepmother beautifully.
Some background....She cheated on me, physically with one woman (a drunken one night stand) and an emotional affair with another woman (a "friend" I always had bad feelings about - texting inappropriate pics, sharing loving feelings with each other and talking badly about me). This was only a few months into us dating, but I didnt find out until 2 and a half years and moving in together. She was extremely remorseful, claimed she was planning on telling me, and ultimately did everything right as far as helping me heal and reconcile. I felt like it took about 2-3 months for me to decide I was ready to forgive and move on. But I did. I mean, I never really forgot it, and still would look at the both of the other women's social media accts and would compare myself to them constantly. But overall, I felt like we were in a good place after a few months and really did come out stronger. My trust in her was restored and we were good. We got engaged, got married, bought a new house. We were truly happy.
Okay. Now... deep breath.... About 2 and a half months ago I had an emotional affair, texting and talking on the phone, with an old friend who lives in another state, that lasted a little under two weeks. This friend and I did share a history of hooking up, but this was years ago when we were teens/early 20's. He had reached out kind of out of nowhere, to tell me his marriage was on the rocks. I expressed sympathy and offered support. Then he went on to tell me he has always been in love with me, for 22 years. I was taken aback. In hindsight, I wish so badly I had just shown my wife this text right away. But I stupidly thought I could just handle it on my own and avoid making her uncomfortable (again...huge regret). Anyway, I told him that I cared deeply for him, but that I was happily married and boundaries needed to be respected. He agreed. We continued to text, at first just innocent things about what we had been up to over the past few years since we last saw each other. Then he told me he had made a suicice attempt recently. This scared and upset me, so I went on to tell him how much I loved him. He then told me I "saved his life" by telling him this, because he had been in such a bad place. The texts just got out of control after that. I am not saying that to act like I had no control. I know I did. But I started to feel feelings for him (or I thought I did) and honestly, was eating up the ego boost he was giving me. Messed up, I know. I have serious insecurities and vulnerability when it comes to men from my past. Again, no excuse. Anyway, eventually it lead to us being really inappropriate, talking about our past sexual moments with each other, how much we wanted to see eachother, how great it would be, etc. I sent him a picture of me, no nudity, but definitely suggestive.
Shortly after that, the guilt consumed me, I blocked his number, and I confessed to my wife. I admittedly trickle truthed at first, saying it was all him, but as the conversation went on, I admitted I also reciprocated, told him I loved him, talked about sex, and sent him a photo of me. Wife was of course pissed and devastated.
The NEXT day, this man's wife texted me. She said she knew all along. He had been deleting our texts, but she was seeing everything on their phone records. Shockingly, she wasnt flipping out on me. She actually said that their marriage was terrible for years, that this was mild compared to other things he had done, and this was finally her out. She actually even thanked me. But of course, also said this was real disgusting of both of us. She said she could have reached out to my wife several times but didn't. She said she had possession of her husband's phone (including the picture, and that he would never see it again), and that everything she had would be destroyed after their divorce was final. She also told me that he manipulated me (that he uses threats of suicide with her all the time), and that even though I was wrong too, it was him "who sunk his claws into me". She told me to show my wife what she was saying so that maybe it would help. I did, and it did help a little bit. She also said she believes I am a good person. All of this was a relief to hear, even though I didnt feel deserving of such grace. She said that I could give my wife her number if she ever needed to vent, but that she wouldnt pull up the facts she had because that is not helpful or healthy. My wife didnt want to do that. All of my texts with him had already been deleted on my phone, which I had done in state of panic before confessing. So my wife hasnt actually seen anything that was said and has only my words to go off of.
After about three days of talking and crying, and me telling her how remorseful I was and that I would do anything to save us, my wife said she wanted to work through this and stay with me. I was relieved of course, but still felt so awful, and honestly, still scared that she will leave. At one point, she even said she felt like she deserved this because of her cheating. And that what she did was worse because she actually physically slept with someone else. I told her that I didnt feel that way.
Flash forward, Dday was about two and a half months ago. I am still a wreck. Wife says she has already forgiven me (she is still "mad" but she is ready to move on). She believes me when I tell her I would never do this again. I know for a fact I would never.
I cant keep my intrusive thoughts of losing her from making me spiral. I feel so ashamed. I cant eat or sleep. I have constant anxiety attacks. I am trying SO hard not to put this burden on her, because it was ME who did the terrible thing. But i am just crying constantly and not myself. She even told me "the only thing keeping us from moving forward is you. We cant move forward as long as you are stuck."
We are in MC and our own IC. Wife is giving me so much reassurance, so why cant I hear it? And I dont want to keep putting my feelings on her. I know it is just overwhelming her which she doesnt deserve, and I know if I dont pull it together, it will drive her away. She said she misses me. She wants us to be ourselves again. She is still mad that I did this, but says she trusts me overall. Why cant I get out of this terrible depression? I think a part of me worries that if she actually SAW our texts, it would be too much. I dont know. I told her that it was way too emotional, but didnt really give specifics.
I am not totally sure what I am looking for here.... advice? positivity? Anything from anyone who has been there and successfully reconciled and give me hope? Advise on what I can do to snap out of this and move forward. And that reconciliation truly is possible. That what my wife is telling me is true and that alone should help me. She is the love of my life and the idea of losing her because of my disgusting actions is an actual nightmare. I feel terrible for the reprucussions this could have on my son if she left. He loves her so much. Our life was truly amazing, so why did i do this? I hate myself so much. How can i forgive myself??

Hello all! I find myself in a difficult position, I refuse to attend church each Sunday because I feel less confident and less desire to continue my faith when I go. For some very needed context I’ll start with stating I am a convert so I lack any family to attend with me, my area the ward is relatively small but very close everyone knows everyone deal so gossip and “tea” is widespread as expected so no chance of blending in. The issue is the girl I spent the last 4 years with, who brought me into the church, and I spent significantly more time and made many sacrifices that I shouldn’t have to be with her, unfortunately after a nasty breakup that left me completely broken my therapist made me realize, although unofficially, what I experienced would be called “narcissistic abuse” and due to my ADHD, poor childhood and very ignorant on mental health or even abuse made it rather easy to be stuck in such a situation. Anyway the point is I know she lied to anyone who’d listen that I was the issue with every fight (I believed it for a long time) it caused me to feel such anxiety in church from her parents gaze and even many other members, I felt hated and despised and understood why they would. I cannot attempt to argue my side out of fear they wouldn’t believe me over their daughter but regardless I stopped going but kept reading and doing as many actions to feel connected as I could, I now feel better with the church by not going, unfortunately I would love to pursue the priesthood but I’m forced to put it on a back burner until I move. Unfortunately no I do not have another ward to attend as an option within reasonable commute. I would love any reassurance or understanding that my decision and substitute is acceptable although not a replacement to taking the sacrament or just any sort of kind words to help with my guilt by not attending.

I didn’t know we had money like dat. I mean he it’s just like 30k euro and has no running water or toilet but like still!!
It’s a summer home. It’s like the size of a living room but it’s still fucking awesome
She said I can even visit it on my own whenever I want. It’s like 1 hour and 30 minutes away with train and then u just take the boat out to the island
She’s told me about this before but I just thought it was a thing she talked about but never really was going to happen, like her wanting to buy a horse or moving to Portugal

https://reddit.com/link/1cswpsg/video/g1zppdhrjn0d1/player
Pious knew something was deeply wrong. It wasn't the inherent taint that now infested every inch of the once glorious Vengeful Spirit; although that certainly disquieted him in its own perverse manner. No, this was something else, something distinctly human, intimately familiar to himself. Yet it was deeply wrong.
It had hit Ollanius like a bolt round, powerful enough to knock him to the ground. He had been alone, his instincts and centuries of training had made him certain of such. Still his hand clutched at his chest. Over his heart, Pious felt a familiar overwhelming agony. Yet there was no wound. At least not a physical one.
Around him, he sensed the dread powers that clung to The Vengeful Spirit recoil, as if they too had somehow been gravely wounded. The knowledge did not provide any sense of reassurance.
He thought of his wife. The pain that now afflicted him was just as debilitating as it had been when he had first lost her. Truly it always was. However, Pious Ollanius Perrson had been carrying that pain with him for centuries. It belonged to him and he was grateful for it; for it reminded him always of the woman he loved more than anything.
Pious closed his eyes. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, he moved his hand to tenderly touch the cross he always wore around his neck but kept hidden from view. Silently, he prayed and steadied his mind.
He then abruptly stood, checked his lasrifle and as always, Ollanius kept moving forward.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
On his journey the only other individuals he encountered were already long dead. Corpses of astartes and humans wearing loyalist and traitor colours alike lay alongside each other. Many had fallen from obvious wounds of battle but not all. Not even most. There was no time to investigate further though as far more pressing matters were at hand.
As he navigated the labyrinthian halls, corridors, stairways and various compartments of the ship, Ollanius Perrson was cautious of every step, glance and turn he took. The Vengeful Spirit was far too quiet. Far too empty. Another man may have assumed it was deserted, but not him. He knew better than to make such assumptions, let alone to act upon them recklessly. It was a lesson Perrson had learned and indeed relearned more times than he would care to recall during his long life. Still, he felt as if he was completely alone.
Of course, he knew there were others on the ship. His allies hopefully amongst them. Although they had all been separated, Pious believed that at the very least The Emperor himself would have made it aboard. Likely Sanguinia as well. The others though, he was less certain of. After all, anyone else would be beneath the concerns of their target.
Despite his certainty Pious wondered, what if he was alone? Could he figure out how to do it by himself? If that was the reality he found himself in, could he, Ollanious Perrson slay The Warmaster?
He was used to fighting those more mighty than himself and had overcome impossible odds more times than he could remember. Being a perpetual and having the inevitable wealth of experience in combat it brought had often given him that vital advantage.
This was different though. His target was a primarch, a being many considered to be a living god. Not just that though, Hathor was the one chosen specifically by The Emperor to act in his stead. The so called gods of the warp had also declared Hathor to be their champion, further complicating matters.
Truly, Ollanius knew he wouldn't stand a chance. Even if he did have something stronger than a lasrifle.
It was whilst considering this, when it suddenly hit him again. That wrongness, that pain, that sorrow. Once again, it nearly overwhelmed him. This time though, Ollanius was ready for it. He had steeled himself mentally after the first time, believing it may have been some sort of heretical sorcery meant to break his mind and spirit.
Feeling it again though, that was obviously not what was happening here. In truth, it was as if someone or something was screaming silently but with enough raw power to snuff out the sun or make time itself stand still. As he allowed the sensation to flow through and past him he was exposed to each of its components.
Anguish, rage, sorrow, love, pain, hatred, despair and a multitude of other turbulent emotions assailed his mind, body and soul like a ruinous storm. At its centre though was grief. That all encompassing kind of grief which can drive a person down a path of senseless destruction without reason or aim. It was a feeling Ollanius Perrson understood all too well.
Whilst reflecting on this, he was hit by it again. This time the feeling was stronger and it had come upon him far more quickly. It also didn't dissipate this time. Instead, he felt it reverberate around everything he could perceive as The Vengeful Spirit shuddered both physically and emotionally.
Then it happened again, and again, and again. Each time stronger than the last and emanating from the bridge of The Vengeful Spirit.
To Ollanius it seemed strangely akin to contractions. Instinctively, he somehow knew that something terrible was being born aboard this ship. Was this Hathor’s plan? A profane ritual meant to manifest some great entity of the warp for her to unleash upon Terra?
Pious didn't know. He was certain though that if this thing came into being, it would herald the ending and the death of not just Terra of the Imperium, but of all mankind.
Ignoring his battle trained instincts to be cautious, he raced for the bridge. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Approaching the bridge, he could hear the sounds of a furious battle taking place. Blades clashed, energies of empyrean origin cracked deafeningly and godlike beings roared in pain and rage at one another. Upon his arrival though, the sight before him caused Ollanius to freeze.
The Arch Traitor, The Warmaster, Hathor lay dead at the centre of the bridge. She had been torn to pieces by a vicious array of stab wounds, slashes and bites along with a multitude of other injuries. On her brutalised face was an expression of horror and eyes filled with the deepest regret. Despite all she had done, he felt a pang of pity.
Nearby also lay the body of the individual Sanguinia had referred to as The Little Dove. From what Pious could tell, the mortal lover of The Great Angel had died by Hathor's hand as their body lay broken in the manner only a demigod would be capable of.
Yet this was not the most devastating thing before his eyes. What Ollanius had initially dismissed as warp phenomena, he soon realised was actually two beings of godlike power fighting. They were so relentless that he could barely comprehend what he saw. However, what truly disturbed him was the identity of the combatants. The Emperor Of Mankind and The Great Angel Sanguinia were locked in a duel before his eyes.
Sanguinia herself seemed almost feral. She was a blur of wings, blood and blades as she assailed The Emperor with an unrelenting barrage of attacks. Her eyes were blood red and bloody tears ran down her face as she screamed incomprehensibly in a mixture of rage and sorrow. Most alarming to Ollanius though was that with every strike she attempted to land upon her father it became clear that she was the source of the phenomena he had experienced since arriving on The Vengeful Spirit.
Black energy akin to the void of space cracked around Sanguinia, growing more intense with every moment. She looked like something made manifest from the scriptures of his faith.
Stuck on the defensive, The Emperor moved with impossible speed, precision and agility in order to parry, deflect or otherwise redirect the unending barrage of attacks from his daughter. It wasn't enough.
Pious could see she had The Master Of Mankind pinned down with her unrelenting assault. He was completely helpless, unable to even speak less The Emperor lost concentration on simply defending his own life.
Before Pious could react, it was already too late. Sanguinia forced an opening by wrenching the sword from The Emperor's grip with her great wings. Less than a second later, she buried The Blade Encarmine to the hilt through her father's chest.
The Emperor fell to his knees as his daughter pulled back her blade. Readying herself to deliver a decapitating strike, she hesitated as she me her father’s eyes.
Seeing his chance, Ollanius ran towards the two gods. Sanguinia swung her blade down to slay her father, unable to stop her swing as Pious dove in front of the blow. Ollanius felt the intense black energy tearing at his very soul and realised and knew his end had come.
With his last strength he glanced at Dove's body, then back at Sanguinia and says "You know they wouldn't want this."
Sanguinia’s eyes followed his gaze and a look of horror flashed across the face of The Great Angel as she stared sorrowfully at the body of her fallen lover.
As the darkness that enveloped her began to flicker away, he fell but was caught by The Angel cradled him in her arms.
"I'm sorry" she whispered as tears filled her eyes and Pious Ollanius Perrson faded away forever.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I originally posted this story as a comment on the this post. Between the OP and the story posted in the comments I got inspired to write something of my own and ended up cooking a bit. I'm not anywhere near the Ending And The Death yet in the Horus Heresy so this is probably very different from anything in the canon story but I thought it would be interesting write out and had fun doing it.
After reading over it again I've redrafted it and made some general corrections and minor tweaks and thought I might as well share it here alongside a related meme.
Ngl, I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to writing stories so I apologise if it's a bit shit haha

Me (38M) broke up with my partner (33M) after 8 years in the relationship.
Its been a couple of months now and he still lives in my house.. Because he hasn't been able to find a new home and I hadn't had the heart to push him out.. giving him space to figure out whats next seemed like the best thing to do.
I'm extremely depressed right now.. I feel like I made the right decision because we were very unhappy together. But I am constantly questioning whether I made the right decision. Obviously I still love him. But I can't move on. I don't know what to say other than I am in a lot of pain. And I'm sure it's my fault.
I just don't know how to move on from here. I wanted a partner and a family, kids even if we could adopt, by this time. He didn't want any kids.. though he told me he changed his mind torwards the end. We argued all of the time. And never could communicate well.
But now I am lost and having to start over.
Now that the relationship has ended we share space and are more cordial than ever. It made all the bad feelings go away for a short period. Be he reminds me that he is calmer just because he doesn't see us in a relationship anymore. We probably would have been better as friends right from the beginning But I always wanted more.
I think I may be rambling, sorry. Best of luck out there.

So, me (19y/o F), and my best friend, 'E' (19y/o F), met during the first semester of school this year through our sorority. She was my big and I was her little, and we connected instantly and because close friends fast. We literally spent every waking moment together, and I even brought her home with me on some weekends from campus so she got to know my family and became a part of it quickly. Eventually I turned into the same for her family, and it even got to a point where people started asking if we were dating because we we're always together plus, I'm bi and 'E' is pan. Though we've kissed, (among other things) and did consider starting a romantic relationship, we both have a lot of issues when it comes to juggling life so we just decided to stay friends.
Anyways, so one time in November, Me, E, my sister, and my mom all went out to lunch near our campus. It was going great and we we're all having a good time, and the group arrives at the conversation of where E is from. Her family lives in Barbados, and she was explaining how she's had a few friends fly with her family from the states to her home when the school year ends, and they stay at their house for a week or so at the beginning of the summer.
I automatically jump at the opportunity and start trying to convince my mom to let me go. I mean, who wouldn't want to go on a vacation to a TROPICAL ISLAND with your BEST FRIENDS for an entire WEEK in a new country where I'm LEGAL DRINKING AGE??? It would literally be a DREAM come true.
**side note and background**
I've only been on ONE trip with friends without at least one of my parents, and it was last summer before I moved to college in Charleston, SC (we live in GA). Me and 4 of my friends paid for an AirBnB out of pocket, and left the next day for a week. It was great! I didn't tell my mom where I was going until the night before, and she couldn't stop me because I had already paid for it and my friend was driving us. She argued a little but didn't say much else because she "trusted the group I was going with.". She literally only knew one person in the group who was a close friend of mine for 4 years and is a Marine.
*back to the story*
I try to sneakily start talking my mom into even considering the idea because I know she won't go for it at first; she's one of those helicopter moms that has to know every teensy-weensy detail of her kids' plans and daily lives, though since I moved out, she can't keep hovering. I don't even get through my first line of begging before she flat out looks at me and E and says. "Yeah, I think we can make that happen."
Me and my sister stare at her like she's grown another f*cking HEAD and E jumps up and down excitedly. I questioned her multiple times on this, saying like,
"Seriously? You're not messing with me right now?",
and, "You're sure? Like 100% you'll let me go? No strings attached if I can pay for it?".
She even goes so far as to PROMISE to PAY FOR IT IN FULL as a birthday present if I don't ask for anything else.
I literally was on the verge of tears because I was having a really rough semester and ready to be done with school already, and this gave me something to look forward to at the end of the year.
Over the next couple of months we continued planning this trip to a tee: we figured out the best dates to plan the flights with the cheapest options so my parents wouldn't have to pay a sh!tload of money (even though we could pay the amount just fine). We planned it around both my little sisters and E's little sisters graduation ceremonies so we could both attend them and fly down together after, with her dad accompanying us. We had a daily workout routine planned so she could get ready for summer golf and so I could get into shape for pre-season basketball. We had friends that we we're planning on meeting for parties at houses in the neighborhood and had a huge schedule-packed-day for E's birthday, which would be on the first couple days we landed on the island.
March hits and the school year ends, and E comes and stays with me for a week after we move out. E had been having some health problems and hadn't been in the best of moods but otherwise everything was pretty quiet other than a few altercations my siblings and I had with my mom before she went out of town. The week goes by quickly, then E's mom comes to pick her up from my house and we try and get E's mom and my mom to collaborate to figure out plane tickets because it's about time to book them, and my mom keeps changing the subject. Before we even have a chance to bring it up again E and her fam have to leave.
Flashforward to a about a week or so later, I've been fighting a bit with my mom and walking around the house on eggshells, but I decide to bring up the flight and ticket booking to my parents the day before mother's day. My mom immediately shoots down the idea and suggests that we talk about it another time, but I push back because it's already mid-May and we're supposed to leave May 27th.
I explain how 'if we don't talk about it now, it's not going to happen, and I want to have an adult conversation about it because I am indeed an adult and want to be treated like one and expect to be treated like one.'
She goes off on me and says:
"Fine, if you want to have an adult conversation then listen to what I'm saying. I don't want you going to Barbados. I don't like the fact that you'll have to fly back on your own. I thought that E's mom was gonna be with you there and back. E's little breakdown the other day makes me think that she needs some time away from you and you going to Barbados with her wouldn't help that. Plus, Delta doesn't fly there and your dad couldn't use his sky miles so the ticket is gonna be expensive. This is just a lot for your first trip and I don't think it's a good idea. Going to a third-world country your first time out of the US just isn't something I think you're ready for. Also have you seen the crime rates there?? It says here that robberies and assault are a huge thing there."
She then had my dad pull up articles and papers on the crime rates on the island, which is little to none.
Ironic because we live in the US and in the 15 different states our family has lived in, I've personally been through 2 school shootings, gone to school on countless days with bomb threats, had to stay home because of armed robberies in neighboring houses (in nice-ass neighborhoods too), and had copious amounts of friends and loved-ones die or get sick from alcohol and drug abuse and/or become a victim or witness to SA.
I tried to cut in multiple times during this rant to give my opinion and talk through this with my parents. My dad listened to a bit of it, but ultimately my mom has absolute say, and she wasn't having any of it. All of the reasoning my parents gave me are just weak excuses that I have a rational solution or failsafe for. The worst part is the fact that I'm not even surprised. I should've known this would happen.
**sob story and me feeling sorry for myself lol skip if u want**
I'm the oldest of 4 and adopted; I try to step up into that role and be helpful as often as I can, but I've missed out on so many core memories throughout high school and college because I feel so obligated to them. I even got a full-ride scholarship, so my parents don't have to pay as much for my college. I'm truly becoming a functioning adult, but I will admit I still depend on my parents for a lot of things. I will never take that for granted. I know my place and know that I am spoiled as hell, but I also know that I'm not being unreasonable for being angry at them for breaking their promise to me.
**OK sob story done
AITA for staying mad at my parents for saying I can't go on this trip, and would it be even worse if I simply just figured out a way to pay for it myself and went without their permission?
Should I try to keep convincing them to pay for it??
SHOULD I JUST GO TO THERAPY? (definitely, yes)
E and me got off the phone about an hour or so ago and she told me some news. Her mom offered to pay for half the ticket (and then some if necessary) to help get me out of the house, even if it's not the week of E's birthday. I start working this coming Monday, and hopefully if I can work as many hours as I can in the first few weeks, I can save up some money and go to Barbados with the help of E and her mom. She's transferring to another college, and I may be dropping out, so we're not going to be going to the same school anymore. We had kinda hoped that this trip could be our last hurrah before the dynamic duo got split up for awhile.
Sorry for such a long post, this just has so many different aspects to it and I need some outsider advice. I keep seeing these on SMOSH and figured people might have a different way of seeing this than me and my friends.
**(PS my mother may or may not have BPD, Anxiety, a split personality and just a lot of childhood trauma that causes her to act like this. My dad is lowk absent and travels a lot but he tries his best; E's parents are almost the opposite from mine.)**

I am thinking about a new console setup for our theater, but I am not sure if there is a bettemore suitable setup for us.
​
Facts: Community theater Germany 99 seats 4 wash moving heads (should be more in the future and some spots too) 54 conventional channels in use 12 LED Bars Some spare channels for effects like fog, wind, triggering video content or some individual build light/effect things for specific productions. Current console: 2x Strand 520i We play: comedy, plays for kids, criminal Typical cue count is like 35 but varied between 10 and 120 so far 6 productions a year with 3 to 5 shows a week.
I was thinking of using ETC Eos because I use it for other small theater groups/projects on a pc with a nomad. I thought about Gio@5 as a console for programming and Ion Xe for playback in the show linked via network.
We need two consoles because we have to play back in an awfully placed room during our shows, but we want to program in the auditorium.
A friend of mine suggested two Zerro88FLX, but I am not really sure about its use in theaters.
​
Questions:
- What do you think about the combination of Gio@5 and Ion Xe?
- Could you give me an approximate pricing for these two? (Can't find used ones in Germany and haven't asked any supplier so far)
- Did you use Zerro88FLX for your theater? Any sharable experience?
- Any other thoughts about consoles you want to share?

Hey all! You can find my first attempt here. Thanks again for all the advice. I'm hoping it made this draft a bit stronger. I tried to pair down a bit and focus a bit and make its happenings a bit less vague (hopefully).
I cut off the section about keying his car because it's a moment that ushers in the end of Act 1 for the book and help keys off some of the threads in Act 2 and 3—I was worried it occurred too late in the novel to really make sense in the letter.
I've included my first 300 (and a bit extra) below as well!
Letter: I am seeking representation for my work, SPLITTINGS, a queer coming-of-age literary fiction novel set in Kansas during the early 2010s, complete at 90,000 words.
If Derek wants to feel like an actual gay person, he just looks at his phone. He doesn’t know how to exist in a world he can’t curate. In real life, there are protests against gay marriage. He listens to his twin, Jason, call people “fags.” When Derek meets college student Andrew, he believes the only relationship they can have is an online one.
Derek grows jealous his brother’s relationship with a neighborhood girl and escalates his relationship with Andrew. Suddenly, he's not just watching GIFs spliced from gay movies. Derek is sneaking out of house and lying about where he’s been. He’s starring in his own scenes.
But Derek doesn’t how to act. Or even how being gay should feel like. What does should he say on a date when he can’t look up a fact or send a meme? What’s the right expression to make when he sees Andrew’s dick for the fist time? It’s not the same as being on his phone. Derek feels like he’s not even a real person. If he was, he’d know how to behave. He’d know which person he is: the one he is around his family and friends, the one entangled with Andrew, or the one he witnesses online.
SPLITTINGS would appeal to fans of novels like Sarah Thankam Mathews’s All This Could be Different and Brandon Taylor’s Real Life.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
300:
The light from my phone made it hard to see the rest of the world. I read life expectancy statistics. A website siloed the information into demographic categories. Tabs on medical and family history collared the top of the page. I almost couldn’t tell I was in my bedroom. The smell from my sheets, my own scent, filled my brain. I didn’t know how I was breathing, how there was still oxygen available. In the morning I sometimes struggled to believe there was a whole world. I understood this as a nihilist issue: life was an object, a frictionless ball in a pachinko game, pinging off different immutable factors set generations before birth.
An advertisement for superfoods flashed across my screen. The picture, a man’s chest, made me want to dissolve but in a way that would somehow be good for the environment. I checked Andrew’s profile. It had only been thirty minutes since I last looked, which made me feel ashamed. Nothing on his page had changed since we met a few days ago.
Jason moved inside of his room. The sound came through our shared wall. Moving souvenirs on his desk. Laying his upper torso on the bed.
He had been annoyed at me since we went down to the river to celebrate graduation. Everyone had worn Class of 2013 t-shirts or collegiate apparel. As a twin-joke, Jason had made us switch shirts. He wanted to reset our relationship to a previous, juvenile state. People confused us all night. Because he was there, no one noticed when I left to walk the banks.
I had been practicing being alone. In a few months I was moving states for college. People kept saying it would be difficult being away from everyone, but the isolation would reveal a purer version of myself. My own removal made scenes more interesting and alive. At the party, my absence was the only novel detail. Relationships wove together in an uncomplicated net. Our friends believed they knew each other and that made them feel safe.

It has blown my mind that even today, being pretty far removed from the Family Matters/MTG/NLU/THP6 drops, people still are sort of holding onto pretty intense fantastical views. There are the obvious ones that truly I don’t think even Kendrick holds, and that he only said in retaliation for Family Matters.
But I am mostly focused on the idea that Drake is dumb. The idea that Drake is dumb has been an underlying assumption in the interpretations of his lyrics and an outright criticism, and it’s just entirely unfounded? You don’t make 14 number one songs, many of which debuted at number one, if you’re dumb. You don’t stay relevant for more than a decade if you’re dumb either. But even setting that aside, listen to the man talk. I can acknowledge that he’s a dog, but he doesn’t sound dumb at all.
So when I hear people say he misinterpreted mother I sober, a song that really doesn’t leave room for misinterpretation because Kendrick goes out of his way to make it abundantly clear that he didn’t have the experience Drake said he had, I’m stunned. Like you’re telling me that all of us got it, but the guy in the actual rap battle didn’t? He didn’t understand that Kendrick’s trauma was that Kendrick’s mom didn’t believe him? And I can accept people saying “oh I see what he was trying to do but it just fell flat for me,” but they won’t even give him that. They’re convinced that he didn’t understand the song (as though genius isn’t a search bar away).
I just don’t understand why people need to create a fake version of Drake to criticize him. There’s plenty to criticize about the real version.

We moved to a new apartment around a month ago and we let her stay inside for three weeks before she started going out again, she went out and came back in usually the next day/night and often relapsed to being called, but it’s been two days now, almost three and last time I saw her was on Monday around 5-6pm.. she was running into the forest with an arched tail but seemed fine, she hasn’t responded to us and we’ve looked around and have t seen her.. I’m really worried, I lost my cat to the road two years ago and I can’t experience another loss.. (the place we lived before was much more dangerous since we lived so close to a road which we don’t anymore but there is a road a few blocks away) I’m really worried, is this normal? There is a lot of cats in the area and my dad thinks she’s just exploring and making her territory.. should I be worried?

Haha, hi, I’m really shy
I’ve been kind of sick of life
But when you walk by
I see you’re lovely eyes
Hazel like the two moons in the sky
So close, yet so far away
I wish I could be with you
For all these blurry nights and blue days
I wanted to call you babydoll
Wanted to love you with my all
But you said no, she said no
And now I’m having migraines, all alone
I thought we could share our bad things, our trauma
Our nightmares and dreams
But no, so I stand and watch as you leave
I’m homesick without you, I’ve lost my way
I feel the bad blood running through my veins
I was falling for you
But now I’m tired of wanting you, tired of missing you
Now I’m lovesick, like Romeo to Rosaline
I just wanted to be contigo, for you to be mine
But now you’ve faded, just like a ghost
I stare out my window towards the coast
Eating animal crackers, small fries, and bok choy
Wearing my sweater made of corduroy
I’m the king of nothing, terrified inside
I cried but wore camouflage to hide
I wanted to be a rockstar but you crushed me down
But now I think I’m glad you’re out of town
You were so cold, had a heart of ice
How did I think you were ever nice?
You were toxic and a psycho
I’m not mad for all the shit that I sat through, though
But I still don’t think we can be friends
Yeah, I don’t think there can be amends
Cause I can’t do these long drives sitting in the backseat
Hoping one day you’d understand me
You let me down and now you’re out of my reach
But I don’t give a fuck anymore
I’m sick of you and your lies I had to ignore
I had nosedived straight into love
But now I’ve grown above
It was a all problematic mistake
I found a new girl that isn’t such a snake
I hope you forget me just I like I forgot you
No more lucid dreams of wanting you to come through
Now you’re a stranger, you gave me toxic affection
I’m heading in an easier, happy direction
I’m no longer scared, I had to runaway
Yeah I’m glad I didn’t stay
Now I’ve moved on to the next best thing
Yeah, I might just give her my ring
We can be a family, her and my cats
Don’t worry, I give them lots of pats
You sucked and I see it now
Can you feel it, aren’t I supposed to feel it meow

So in reality i dont want to quit but with my medical condition things at work arent looking very prospective. Theres a lot at play here to so ill try to sum this up.
So i have severe scoliosis and i received bracing options years ago but- the main thing to take away from here is that my back pain has always been manageable no matter what task i do- up until about three months ago. The pain has always been chronic but its just on a different level now, it’s unmanageable. I wouldve informed my hiring boss of this in the interview but the pain level was nothing compared to what it is now.
This is my very first job, my area is rural so there not many job opportunities but i landed this job at the brand new tractor supply- i was so excited when after 7 months of waiting to hear back they told me i got the job. So i hope you can all understand how immensely frustrated i am now that my back is limiting me to work after finally getting the job position.
So I had a schedule worked out with my hiring boss which was 3 days a week, 7 hours shifts, morning shifts. Im almost always done with work by 3:30pm or 4:30 pm. Its a brand new store and the managers say they need lots of help which i understand. I’m supposedly “their best cashier” and my managers keep saying they really need me since nobody else is as good at the register as me. Because of this they keep scheduling me for evening shifts and on days ive listed im not available for. One of my managers even asked me to just “power through it” and work a full week as a part time employee.
So the factors here are as listed:

1. I rely on my dad and boyfriend for rides to work as i dont have my license.
   
2. Its impossible for me to work multiple days in a row or more than 7 hours per day with my pain level.
   

So with those in mind, my bosses are scheduling me for these late evening shifts that i cant attend due to my lack of transportation, which they are well aware of. In addition to this they arent scheduling me for my 6-7 hour shifts anymore, I know only have 8 hours shifts every day im scheduled for.
I do need this job because eventually ill be moving to texas and itd be amazing to have a TS job set up for me there when i move with my boyfriend. Also by then ill have gone through spine surgery and be able to work normal.
I dont want to jump the gun and quit but my managers just arent very understanding of the fact i have severe scoliosis. They have worked with me on the fact that i need least a day off in between work days to rest but they still want to schedule me for 8 hour shifts, want me to come in and cover when people call out, and expect me to work later than what i agreed to when hired. I was very clear i can only work mornings due to transportation.
I just dont really understand why they always call the girl who is unlicensed and has a severe medical condition to cover for other employees who do have cars and no conditions- especially when theres other workers who would love to pick up extra hours.
My boss came off as totally chill and understanding in the interview but he doesnt speak to me at work now and they just want me working all the time i suppose due to my good work ethic. I feel as though they were nice to me at first and lured me in I mean i feel trapped now. The management is shitty and they always leave me on read and never answer when i call them about my schedule.
Im considering getting a doctors note stating im unable to work for more than 7 hours a day, 3 days a week seeing as how i have a physical therapy appointment in a few days.
Absolutely any and all advice is appreciated im feeling very discouraged and stressed out right now physically and mentally, this job is really doing a toll on my back and im scared.

I received a job offer from Morgan Stanley at the end of March. I am now in week 7 and still currently waiting for my background check to pass. My current role is in a different city from the one that this new Morgan Stanley job is in and Morgan Stanley is expecting me to move to that city upon hire. Because of this, I have to stay with my mom as I cant sign a lease in the city of my current job because I wouldn’t be able to move to the city Morgan Stanley is requiring me to move to upon starting with them. My mind house is not in the city of my current job and is actually 4 hours away from it. I have been stuck commuting 8 hours every day from city to city for the past 7 weeks because Morgan Stanley refuses to complete my onboarding in a timely manner.
The recruiter claims she has no idea who my hiring manager is and the other HR lady on my case claims she does not have information regarding my background check. My question is, who does have any information? I turned down other offers for this job and they have been drawing out this process much longer than expected and needed.
I have only been working professionally for 3.5 years and have only worked at easily verifiable companies. I have also lived at the same address my entire life. Please note they are not doing a criminal background check as I have already completed that.
The background company, Cisive, has erroneously completed my background check stating they couldn’t verify two jobs. I submitted employment verification letters for both jobs and had the owner of one of the companies call Cisive to verbally verify as well. Cisive went ahead and left all that information I sent over out of my completed background check and now Morgan Stanley is threatening to revoke my offer.
Do I have grounds to sue Cisive for the erroneous background check? And am I being unreasonable being extremely irritated with this process?

Just like the title says, my boyfriend called me almost as soon as I woke up, and told me he no longer wanted to be together. This happened my first day back for summer break (we both go to college together and have been dorming together for 2/3 of the years of our relationship).
While I won’t get into all the details, essentially he told me that he felt burdened and unhappy in our relationship. For context, I have extreme anxiety that has gone mostly untreated for my entire life. This anxiety often prevents me from doing things like leaving the house, spending time with our friends/roommates, responding appropriately to stressful situations, and just about everything else.
Before we left for break, I had felt that he was getting stressed out by how my anxiety dictates his emotions and actions, and I sat him down and told him that I was unhappy with how things were and I promised to get medical help (I’ve already made an appointment with a new physician to talk about trying new medications, as all the previous ones I tried never worked, and therapy was unhelpful, so I gave up for a few years). I told him that I was tired of anxiety ruining my own life and ruining our relationship, and that I didn’t want to be this sort of person anymore. He didn’t prompt this conversation, I did.
Despite this, the day I get back from break, he calls me and tells me it’s over. I tried very hard to be gracious and understanding, telling him that if he was unhappy he shouldn’t stay, because I never wanted to do anything but make him happy. My anxiety makes me an incredibly difficult person to live with, and I left it untreated for so long because I was scared of things changing, and I see now how hard that was making his life. I told him it was okay and I understood, and that I would still seek treatment without him. He told me he needed to chose his happiness over anything else, and I told him he should.
After 4 hours of sobbing into my mother’s arms, he texts me asking if he can still text me. I told him that I was completely heartbroken and needed to be left alone if I was going to be able to heal and move on with my life, and we couldn’t be friends because I was always going to want him back and that wasn’t fair to either of us.
After that, he starts telling me that he regrets what he said, that he does actually think the issues in our relationship can be fixed. He says he wants to help me with getting treatment and he wants to be more open about his emotions so I’m not blindsided like I was by this. He says he wants to work on the emotional/physical labor inequality in our relationship, and that he can’t imagine life without me.
I feel completely lost and confused now. My heart tells me to take him back immediately, but I don’t know if that’s that right choice. I don’t have really any close friends I can talk to about this (see aforementioned severe anxiety), so I’m coming to reddit.
I love him, and all I want to do is say yes and forget this ever happened. I feel as if no one will ever understand or love me as much as he did again, and I want to fix things so badly.
At the same time, I worry that I’ll never feel secure again. I feel like I’ll always think if I have a bad day, or I ask him for anything, or I slip up in my mental health recovery journey, I’ll be dumped again. I also feel as though my agency was torn away from me, just answering my phone for a nice morning call with my boyfriend and coming away sobbing and single, and now I’m being forced to make the choice for him when I never got a say in it in the first place.
I believe we can fix things, that I can become a better partner, but I don’t know that he believes that. He says he wished he could just take back today but I don’t understand how you can go to deciding to breakup with me the second I get home from college to four hours later saying it was all a huge mistake.
Any advice is appriciated, and if anyone has ever been in a similar situation please tell me what you did and how it worked out.

seems like something new every day with her , but the past couple days have been difficult at best . Mothers Day weekend was last weekend , and i got her something , along with something from our 10 year old . Her 18 year old daughter also wanted to buy her some workout clothes.. so they went and did that .. when they got home i found out that the 18 year old spent almost $500 bucks .. i felt that was a bit much , as we are not rich people , and she is heading to college in a few months.. would be better to save that money for things that will be needed in the fall. but whatever , not really my issue. other than I'm sure I'll get a phone call in the fall for money...
So on Monday i get home from work ( wife is off on Mondays) and we start trying to figure out what's for dinner to have her tell me.. she doesn't have money for food this week ( i pay everything but the food, twice in the past month , she hasn't been able to pay for that) so have to come up with something , and end up going negative to put food on the table. I was already tight as i just paid for kids summer camp , and didn't have anything left .
i kind of felt like , well she knew on Friday or Saturday that she didn't have the money, we didn't go anywhere or spend anything ... so why wait till Monday ? i would have used gift money to put food on the table , as that is more important . I'm starting to feel like she knew, but wanted gifts , so didn't say anything until the money was already spent on gifts ...
so onto yesterday we both work, i left work , drove and picked up the groceries , got home and started unloading and bringing them upstairs . at this point she came home as well. Now something new that has started , she wants to park right in front of our side door that we go in and out of , so if I'm there because i get home before her , she wants me to move my car ( not that she doesn't have her own keys to my car, she does) , last week i was in the bathroom ,and she was upset she had to wait.. last night.. she sees me unloading and going up and down the stairs , but decides to sit there and watch me until i can move the car . its like what.. your too good to help out now ?
so i get everything upstairs , car moved out of " her" spot put it all away. load the dishwasher. wash the pots i need to use. start dinner , get her package from the front , make dinner.. and she just sits there.. playing on her phone.. no offering to help or anything..
she sees me running around and struggling to get everything done and just no idea of helping or assisting.. its like we are not a team.. I'm the breadwinner.. and the house husband,,... just do it all while she gets to sit around..
I'm pretty much at a loss here....
​

I'm looking at Speed tuning Robin and wow, there's a lot of disorganized information out there. Here's my findings in case they help someone else.
tl;dr: if you're not looking to 0 cycle, run 120 Speed Robin. If you are looking to 0 cycle, 120 Speed Robin might still be the best option
Basically there's 2 core ways to run Robin:
First - Slow: 120 Speed, no Vonwacq, with allies at 134. Robin's first turn is AA'd by her trace, and she acts again before the allies second rotation. This gives her ult, which she holds until allies have acted, and then she ults. Allies get 3 turns in the first cycle, 1 of which is under Concerto.
Robin > allies > Robin > allies > Robin ult > allies > end of cycle 0
Second - Hyperspeed: There are many variations to run this, with a sliding scale - the faster Robin is with Vonwacq, the (relatively) slower her allies can be. This can boil down to 170 Robin / 144 allies, or can go slower with something like 157 Robin / 157 allies. IWinToLose has a simple calculator here for Speed matching.
Robin's first turn with AA from Vonwacq and her Trace. Then, allies all move. Robin's second turn is after ally turns, and she ults immediately following her turn. This AA's allies, and they are fast enough here to get 2 rotations before the end of the first cycle, thereby having 3 full rotations, 2 of which are under Concerto in cycle 1.
Essentially, Robin's first turn is so AA'd that her next turn is between her allies' first and second rotations, and then she ults while there's still enough AV in the cycle for fast allies to move twice under concerto before cycle ends.
Robin > allies > Robin > Robin ult > allies > allies > end of cycle 0
Ultimately, this requires a ton of Speed subs on all allies, and Vonwacq farming for Robin to get 1 more turn under Concerto in wave 1, which only benefits if that turn is the make-or-break when it comes to 0 cycling Wave 1. Because you reset with 150 AV when you move to wave 2 in cycle 0, you get the same number of rotations under Concerto in the full 0 cycle (with more Concerto rotations in the second wave), unless entering ult early in wave 1 allows you to reenter ult in wave 2 when otherwise you wouldn't. That is probably doable with a dedicated FUA team, but relies on a lot of extending variables like ERR, attack counts, times attacked, and so on.
DDD Variation: Now, all of this gets thrown out the window a bit when you drop a full FUA team and start running a hypercarry with DDD Tingyun, who can ult in the 1st AV of a cycle and boost your carry enough to run Attack boots and still get the full 2 rotations under Concerto. It's the same basic concept as hyperSpeed Robin, and you still need 170-180 Speed Robin with vonwacq for her to ult early enough in the cycle for your slow allies to get their second turn under Concerto, but this allows you to run Attack boots on a hypercarry
Bronya Slow Variation: By running 134 Bronya/135 DPS, you can use Bronya to AA a 120 Speed no-Vonwacq Robin for the first turn. This allows Robin to act as a pseudo hyperspeed build, taking her turn immediately after the rest of your team and pulling everyone up. Then you just run Slowya, giving your carry 4 turns under Concerto.
I think this is how triple AA Blade should run, and then throw DDD on Sparkle (with another DDD on Bronya if you're lucky enough to have it), but that's neither here nor there. I definitely want to try a showcase on this, because I think it's possible for Blade to 0 cycle vs a good set of enemies, but this MoC doesn't really play to his strengths haha.
In Conclusion... I was willing to throw a ton of TBP at hyperspeed Robin, but after some research, I've found that, even for 0 cycling, hyperspeed Robin doesn't seem worth it to me. You drop so much Attack or team slots on your allies in order to build Speed for ultimately the same number of actions in the first ult rotation. The only difference would be if you need 2 rotations of Concerto to clear wave 1, but if you do, then... farm better DPS relics instead of throwing everything away to build hyperspeed.
Let me know if I've missed anything, and happy farming!
Sources:

• Set up a FAST Robin team by Lisara
• Slow Robin x Bronya by Lisara
• These 3 builds show Robin's full potential by IWinToLose
• Robin Guide by Sevyplays

after the whole mothers day brunch bs, my husband went with MIL just like we planned little did I know she was going to completely poison him against me. I’m sure she boosted his ego and then snuck all her demands in the same tone. I’m feeling totally at fault because I allowed him to go and get basically brainwashed and manipulated to work against our family. I can’t stand my husband right now because I feel like I’m speaking to his mother every time I bring up this conflict, because he defends her by saying things like “ she deserves to see the baby” “ your mom can see the baby, but my mom can’t that’s wrong” and then I realize those are not his words at all, and these words are only coming out because she has her tentacles in him. Such a sad update after all of the progress I made. I basically ended the argument with my last remaining words being, “ how could you defend the very person that was against us from day one? ( dating, traveling to see your family , moving out, Getting married , putting your now WIFE on your insurance , respecting me postpartum, and now parenting) the only thing funny enough is she was never against us having a baby ….. figures.. How can this be right in your eyes? She doesn’t deserve to see our baby because she didn’t want to support us from the very beginning. She now realizes that she lost the battle and has to give in because she wants so badly to Be inside our family circle and manipulate our daughter against me and play Mommy because in her sick mind, you are her husband and LO is her child, bottom line, she HAS to love me before she GETS to love my daughter, that’s fair. That’s how this works and that’s the only way this works., how can I forget all the nasty disgusting behavior and things that she said and did to me in the past, the trauma that she caused, and then now every time she comes over it’s like I’m invisible and I’m not respected as my daughter’s mother, it brings back the entire reason on why I don’t want to be around your mother, it completely re triggers me, and puts my body into flight or flight mode. Does she really deserve to see the baby at that point?” DH had nothing to say anymore.

Anyone else have experiences where as you move along in your transition that you have a series of increasingly deep realizations about how grossed out you are at male norms and behaviors?
I’m increasingly confronted by that I’ve always been really grossed out by most men in my life, and while I used to think I was pansexual, I think my starting HRT and presenting more femininely basically shut the door on my interest in men or male spaces of any kind. Not sure if it’s common or even heard of among transfeminine people that taking clear steps away from presenting male suddenly shines a truly disgusting light on past male-centric experiences and also memories of being celebrated for male traits.