Hello, to begin with I want to add that I never judge people by their look and I do not make assumptions based on that, but in this story I will describe the people as they looked so u can feel it more.
The story that happened to me today:
I had a broken arm and went to the doctor today. In our country, the waiting time in hospitals for such a check is up to 3 hours. The waiting rooms are post-communist, old, white walls and blue uncomfortable chairs. After about half an hour of waiting in a waiting room full of people of all ages, who were also after some sort of injury, a 2-meter middle-aged man came to the waiting room, who at first glance looked somewhat strange. He sat down on a chair and his girlfriend or sister came behind him, I don't know what of those two it was, but she looked even weirder than him. The guy had a tucked-in T-shirt in his pants with the inscription PRAGUE and the Czech flag on the front of the t-shirt. He had rustler pants pulled up high. His posture was stooped. He had brown, thinning hair and thick-rimmed glasses. Blue eyes that only had an empty look. Huge palms, since he was about 2 meters. The woman who was with him was missing several teeth. She was overweight and of average height. She was wearing gray leggings, a t-shirt that was short so part of her stomach was visible, and an unzipped dark green jacket. Both of them showed that they were not completely in order and looked a little dirty, but not like street dirty, more like they just dont take care of them self AT ALL dirty. The woman looked much dirtier. They sat down not far from me and at first it was quiet. Subsequently, the guy started talking, first in silence and to himself, he started commenting everything around him. For example, another patient in the waiting room was wearing a cap and the strange guy said. "Look, the moron still has his cap on. Can you understand that?!? haha" He always laughed really unpleasantly after one of his drastic comments. Horror type laugh. He could be heard and people were looking around at him. As we were all waiting in the waiting room, a nurse came out and according to the ordinary number, called a very old lady who had broken her arm and was going to be checked. The strange guy was sitting closest to the door, so everyone was walking around him. As the grandmother slowly got up from her chair (obviously because she is old), the strange guy aggressively shouted: "WELL MOVE, MOVE, COMMON!!!" Everyone pretended not to hear him and no one ever spoke up. As he commented, he said something that I didn't fully understand, something like: "And what does this tattooed moron think of himself???" That should have been on me because I was the only one in the waiting room with tattoos on my body. So I looked at him and asked him: "You talking to me?"
The strange guy aggressively raised his voice and answered: "YES, I SAID THAT ABOUT YOU AND WHAT DO YOU CARE, DO I MIND YOU?" type shit, to which I replied that he was shouting in a waiting room full of people like he is out of his fucking mind and that's when it started. The guy started almost shouting on entire waiting room: "OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND? YOU CAN BE SURE THAT I AM OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND, I'M 100% SCHIZOPHRENIC. I WILL KILL YOU AND I WILL NOT EVEN GO TO JAIL. THEY WILL JUST LOCK ME IN AN INSTITUTE AGAIN :)… YOU WILL END UP UNDERGROUND BECAUSE GOD DOESN'T WANT YOU IN HEAVEN! YOU WILL DIE!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT, AT LEAST THERE WILL BE ONE LESS BRAT. A VEIN IN YOUR NECK WILL RUPTURE AND YOU'LL BLEED OUT, YOU'LL SEE. BUT I DON'T WANT TO RETURN TO THE INSTITUTE... I DON'T WANT TO RETURN. MRS. GUIDE I DONT WANT TO GO BACK”. The woman who was with him just watched blankly, motionless, without emotion. I didn't answer him, I shook my head and gave a thumbs up as he aggressively said he was going to kill me. I felt a slight fear and a rush of adrenaline, of course I did nothing. WTF? The guy was visibly sick in the head and god knows what would happen if I reacted to this. Afterwards, he kept talking. Totally random stuff. "Look at how he stares at the phone, that's even worse than alcohol, he's addicted. I saw that on TV" again at me. The woman was silent. A hospital bed arrived in the waiting room, on which lay a very old grandmother who had probably fallen and hit herself somehow. She was lying and holding her head up, she told her daughter that it doesn't hurt, when she hold her head up like that so she has to have her head up. The guy heard it and to the entire waiting room: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO. THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO IS DIE. HAHAH. OTHER THAN THAT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. HAHA :) NO ONE HAS TO DO ANYTHING BUT EVERYONE HAS TO FUCKING DIE. END UP UNDERGROUND. HAHAHAHA. PSST PSST… SHUT UP, BE QUIET” he said to himself and started rocking in his chair. As the patients went in order, he was angry that there were people ahead of him. The nurse called the next patient in line to the ambulance. It was a mother with a baby in a stroller. The guy said out loud, "WHY ARE YOU GOING? YOU AND YOUR CHILD ARE SOMETHING MORE?”. No one in the waiting room noticed him, people just nodded their heads. After the check-up, the mother and the child came out of the doctor's office and this strange guy said: "WHAT, YOU'RE FINALLY GOING AWAY. WHY WERE YOU THE MAIN???" The woman said with a very calm tone: my child is sick. The strange guy: "And you work?! You have a job!?" The woman said yes and when she saw that he was aggressive, she started walking away. While she was walking away, the guy was talking louder and louder at her: "DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID? SHE THINKS I'M STUPID AND THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT SHE'S ON KINDERGARTEN WITH HER BABY! HAHAHAHA” . It was really terrible, I was really afraid that he will attack somebody. The guy also said things like: "NO. NO. I DON'T WANT TO GET MY HANDS DIRTY AGAIN. Pssst, psssst. SILENCE!..... I have to drink, I have dry in my mouth. dry like sahara i am. DRINK, BECAUSE YOUR KIDNEYS WILL DRY UP!” The doctor called number 12 in, which was me, and this strange guy was sitting about 2 cm from the door to the ambulance. He said something again, but I didn't even listen to his words anymore, I was just careful when I walked by, that I wouldn't get hit or that something would poke me. I went to the doctor and the doctor asked who was screaming like that. I told him what it was about and he told me that I shouldn't pay attention to such people. He checked my hand and I went away. As I was leaving, the guy was talking loudly: "NOW GO. AND YOU HAVE FREE TIME, EXCELLENT HAHA” . And I walked away.
All this was very strange and my first encounter with such a sick person. ou could see on him that he really mean those things. The whole time I had a very bad feeling. The guy looked exactly like some kind of psychopath, like some serial killer who keeps the heads of his victims in the refrigerator so that he can feel dominance over them forever type shit and cant tell the difference between good and bad. I wouldn't be surprised at all if in a few years I see him and his wife in the news that a dead body was found at their home.
Did you have any encounters like this? I want to know

I (27f) was brought up in a house with my brother (24m), my mum (47f) and dad (45m). When I was younger my parents decided to have 2 more children, 2 girls - now 12 and 10. I now also have my own children, 7f, 4m, and 2f, and am in a beautiful happy marriage.
A little back story, I was pretty much a scapegoat my whole life, my brother the golden child, let's just say none of us are on speaking terms with him anymore due to him always getting what he wanted when he was younger. As he grew and after the 2 younger of us were born, he started hearing more "no's", he didnt like that and after a lot of threats, holes in walls, drugs etc, I decided to cut all contact with him. He then decided to cut contact with our parents 🤷🏽‍♀️
Anyway, we recently found out that our 7yo has adhd, and our 4yo has adhd and asd. I also found symptoms in myself that made me question my brain, and got diagnosed with asd, adhd and cptsd (i dont remember my childhood from 5yo-13yo, but remember all the crap traumatic parts). Whilst we were getting our array of diagnoses my parents decided to go through their own processes with my sisters, still in the process, no diagnoses have been made. This is where it starts, the 12yo, I'll call her Stacy, she is me, I was her, she is the scapegoat, she gets the blame for everything, nothing she does is right, she doesn't get help, doesn't get hugs and kisses or love. I see the ptsd symptoms coming out in her and it hurts my heart, I want to take her, adopt her and run away with her. I give her the love she needs because i can see she doesnt get it from our parents, not gonna lie, she has her faults, we all do, we're only human, but compared to our sister and brother, she's amazing.
The 10yo, I'll call her Anna, she is horrible, she makes mean comments, she manipulates to get her own way, she falsely accuses people - and not of small things, she craves attention and loves to be in the centre, she hates when my 7yo has any sort of attention and will try her best to steal it, especially from our mum, it's like she knows how to hurt your feelings and will do it if you don't do what she wants, she's showed my 7yo inappropriate videos, one day I was looking after her because she was "sick" I was in the bathroom, heard my 4yo (who was also sick with whooping cough at the time), crying begging her to stop she didn't realise I had opened the door and caught her hitting him on the head with a pillow, I told her to stop and she did. Anyway she is always looking for approval especially from female adults, she is just mean, she doesnt do anything wrong, she gets coddled while Stacy gets the blame for everything, and gets punished for everything even if she didnt do anything. My parents do nothing, they don't explain to her what she's done is wrong or why it's wrong, they sit on their phones all day, everyday and just say "oh she just has autism", but it's not an excuse... we're really not dumb, you can teach us that it's not okay to do things. I know this is how they handle it because we live on the same property, in separate dwellings, and it's the same everyday pretty much, I try my best to keep separated from them, especially Anna because she is having a negative mental effect on our 7yo, but they come over uninvited and say "mum and dad are being boring, they're just on their phones like always". Everytime I go over they've either locked themselves in the room or are sitting on the couch looking at Facebook, and expect the kids to just watch TV all day, not doing anything. I just see the same cycle happening again, Anna turning out like our druggo brother, and Stacy ending up with CPTSD and wanting to run away.
Anna falsely accused myself of scratching her with a stick today, when I was nowhere near her, she put on a whole act, crying and everything. This isn't the first time this has happened, the first time was falsely accusing my husband of something similar, when I was with them and told the truth whilst my mum was on her side and was never there. Tonight, I got deathstared by my mum, usually its the silent treatment, but also got told "Anna feels like you treat Your son like he has autism but you don't treat her like she has autism", she hasn't been diagnosed either so we don't know if it really is autism, and I treat my son with respect because he treats me with respect, I treat him the way he treats me, with love and kindness (i told mum this in different words). There is no love, kindness or respect in Anna, and if there is you can't see it, it's like she demands respect but won't give it, to anyone at all. If she doesnt get her way, then all hell breaks loose.
So anyway I told my mum "i have autism too mum. you can't use autism as an excuse for the rest of her life. Females, especially where we live, will not tolerate these accusations and comments and she will get knocked out, instead of saying 'she has autistim' teach her what shes doing is wrong" all she said to that was "well, if that happens, that's a life lesson she has to learn" but I don't think it should get to that point? Just teach her while you can before you regret it?
Now i know no one is the same, i know no autistic brain is the same, i know we say inapproriate things and we dont know the meanings sometimes etc. But i dont think using it as an excuse is okay? Its as if they've got the idea of autism in their head and now they dont have to discipline or teach her whats right from wrong? Anyway, I'm always the bad guy according to my parents, or am I? You tell me, I dunno. I'm used to always getting the blame so I sometimes I wonder if I actually am the AH? 🤔
I love my siblings, all 3 of them. Regardless of what has happened between my brother and I, or my sisters and I, I will always love them. I miss my brother, when we wasn't intoxicated he was the best person ever, intoxication is his life now and he's not the person I used to know. I love my sisters dearly and I would do anything to save both from this cycle.

Am I too much?
My boyfriend and I are new. We’ve been “official” for two months now and are quite serious. We’ve discussed the word love, but haven’t really put it out there. He has stated several times that he believes I’m in love with him but that he believes I’m holding it back to protect myself. He says I should let them out. I’ve repeatedly told him I’m nervous to do so because I’m not trying to rush this already fast paced relationship and that I don’t want my feelings to be vocalized and he not feel the same way. I told him I want to make sure my feelings are safe first, and he insists that they are with him. Just this weekend, he said “what if something happened to me and you never told me?” That statement stayed in my head during the entire scenario I’m writing about.
His wife passed almost a year ago, and since we met, he insists he’s ready to move forward in life. We talk about the future, but I’ve been a bit wary because I know this is all new to him. He is an amazing man and treats me wonderfully.
He’s 56 and I’m 45 but we live about 50ish miles from one another. We make a point to see each other as much as possible. We also make a point to communicate with one another every. Single. Day. We talk every morning before work, text throughout our day, and stay on the phone several hours at night. The only time we break this routine is when one of us is out of town or away visiting family, but we discuss that ahead of time.
This weekend, he came to my hometown, and we spent an amazing weekend together. We had the best time. At the end of the weekend, we both went home, (this was maybe 10am) but I never heard of he made it home safely. I texted him around 1 just to ask. Never heard a word. Then texted around 5pm to let him know I was going to a friend’s house and would call him when I got back home. Told him I hope his day was going well. We usually do check in texts when we know we will be unavailable.
I get home that night around 10pm and ask him to just please let me know if he’s ok. I then call but it goes straight to voicemail. Then again around 12am to let him know I’m worried. I go to bed.
I wake up around 6 am and see no missing calls or messages, so I call him. Straight to voicemail again, so now I’m worried. I go to work and still hear nothing from him, so around 9:30am (24 hours later), I call back. Same thing. This is very unlike him, and I start to panic.
What would you do at this point? I really hesitate doing everything else next, but I’m worried. I call his job to give him a message to contact me. I’m ready to leave it at that and wait. I don’t have his number memorized, so I’m sure with a dead phone that he doesn’t know mine. His job calls me back around 11am and says “ma’am. You called early to deliver a message to ———. Well, I’m calling you back to let you know that ——— isn’t here for us to deliver the message. I definitely was not expecting that and my fear sets in. That was a strange phone call to me.
I’m worried he’s hurt, and especially with not hearing a peep from him for over 24 hours, I leave work early around 12pm and head his way. I get to his house, and he’s not there. I go to his job next, but I don’t go in. Instead, I call a second time. I speak with the same person, and she asks my relation. I tell him I’m her girlfriend. She pauses and says “I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’ll just say this. His family knows what’s going on with him.” I tell her thank you then hang up.
To me, that means something happened. So I go to his mom’s house. Again, I am doubting all of my actions, but at this point, I’m thinking he’s hurt. We are new and haven’t introduced one another to family other than one person. Outside of our own information and the names of our jobs, we don’t have contact info for one another, so I’m unsure what to do during all of this. I decide I’d rather be the crazy lady that did too much than sit back and not know what happened.
So, I’ve been to his mom’s house but never inside. The one time I went, it was late at night and he had to pick something up, and I didn’t want to meet her for the first time in that manner. I have met his sister briefly before. So, I’m at his mom’s house and knock on the door. I explain what’s happening and she invites me in. She does not know who I am, but that’s not unusual. If the situation were reversed, my parents would not know who he is either. She tells me he is in the hospital and that she was there earlier and he should be home later. She told me what happened which is concerning but fits with what he’s told me about his medical history.
She gives me a different phone number for him. She says he had to get another phone the day before because he cracked the one with the number I have. I call it and it just rings. Then I ask the hospital number. She doesn’t give it to me (again, I don’t blame her) but tells me the hospital name and that the system at the hospital is down.
I go to the hospital. The system is down. I ask information, and they say something about ransomeware. After a while of asking, I leave and go sit somewhere to wait. I’m praying he will call me. I text the number his mom gave me and later the number calls back, rings once then hangs up. I call it back, rings then voicemail.
After about 3 hours after getting that number from his mom, the number calls me back. It’s him, and he’s pissed. He says I did too much. He’s mad I called his job because he doesn’t want them in his business. He says he could see if it was two or three days but not one. I told him something felt off and it turns out I was right. He was in the hospital. He asked why I did it all and I told him because he went all outside of our routine in a big way. He told me we don’t have a pattern and not to look for one. We definitely have a pattern. We even talked about it this weekend and I told him how much I love his consistency. I apologized if I overstepped and said I thought we were serious enough for our actions. He said we are that serious but proceeds to say I did too much. He wouldn’t let me come to the hospital to see him and said he needed some uninterrupted time to himself so I went home. I didn’t even respond and I don’t plan to. I feel like I should just step alllllllll the way back. I also think he’s panicking because he’s only used to being loved by his late wife.
I do love this man, but it feels like he took all that love he said he saw and wanted and threw it back in my face. I’ve made it clear that I’m intense. I would have done the same had it been my parents, my kids, siblings, friends, etc. when we talk again, I know I won’t be the same. I don’t trust him with my feelings anymore.
We haven’t talked since. I’m sure he’s doubting me because I’m surely doubting him. Not once did he acknowledge what I went through to check on him. And he wasn’t trying to listen. I told him I’m happy he’s ok but I listened to my intuition which said he wasn’t and it was right. He said don’t listen to that. I told him that had I heard from him just once that he was ok, none of this would have ever happened. Are my intentions even important here?
I know my actions are a lot and this is a lot to read, so if you’ve made it this far, thank you.
Am I crazy? What would you have done? What should I have done? Do you think this is salvageable?

I have a script actively hosting on the Blcklist right now. I recently noticed a "Favorites" category under the Script Stats where you normally see how many views, how many downloads, etc. Is this a new thing? I got 1 with a little red heart (nice!) But what does that mean?!?
u/FranklinLeonard ?

I am looking for some other perspectives on a recent situation in my '40F' marriage to '50M'.
For starters, his mental health has been a struggle in recent years. He has reached out for help medically and is seeing a physician. They seem to have come to some conclusions that his issues could be stemming from being on the spectrum. Unfortunately, this seems to have become his go-to excuse for everything now.
I personally believe that his daily marijuana consumption and online browsing have a much larger mental health impact than any diagnoses, but I am not a medical professional.
We have not been doing well relationship-wise lately stemming from an argument that began after I confronted him about being glued to his phone at a family function and when we returned home, he immediately ran to get high despite other household responsibilities being neglected first, leaving them to me to do.
He proceeded to tell me that he has a hard time caring about me in general and that he "is done" with me. When I asked if he intended to leave our home, he said he was not in a place mentally to make that decision, but doubled down to confirm that he did mean what he said. This, understandably, has left me feeling very sad. For context, we have been together for 24 years.
One of his major arguments for the last few years that seems to be causing the most friction is the temperature in the house. For context, I work from home and he does not. When the furnace is on, it is set to 18C. Otherwise, the windows are open until it gets humid outside and the AC gets set to 19-21C depending on the time of day. He is constantly complaining it is too cold. My suggestions of wearing a sweater, socks, pants, etc. are met with hostility. I bought him an electric lap blanket and he has an electric blanket in his bedroom (we have separate rooms now because I sleep with the window open). He also has set up an area in the basement with a baseboard heater.
I am now being told that I "don't give a shit" about his comfort because the rest of the house is not to the temperature of his liking and I am at my wits' end. If the room he enters is not to his liking, it can result in anything from generalized complaints to full blown toddler-style tantrums (slamming doors, screaming, throwing objects).
I guess I am looking for perspectives on the temperature issue. I feel like if you have tools/locations at your disposal to be the temperature you require, you should use them and act like an adult, but he says I'm unwilling to compromise.
If you're read this far, thank you. You're a champ!
TLDR Husband thinks I am a terrible person because of my temperature preferences. Looking for perspectives. Am I a lousy wife in this context? I have been very understanding of his mental health challenges, but I do feel they are being used as an excuse for his inflexible behaviour both in this instance and others. Has anyone else had a similar experience? How did you overcome it?

This is an old story some of my friends told me (29F) I should share here.. so here I am. Sorry for the long text, but there's a lot to unfold.
This started a few years ago, after I got ghosted by my ex, I decided to switch careers and took the proposal of my brother to work for one of his friend in an organic grocery store in my area. I was 22ish at the time, maybe 21 turning 22, but anyways.
I started working in the fruits and vegetables aisle. Despite having a crazy director, I liked my job and my department manager. After a few months, I got the title of "third key" which is basically I'm the assistant manager when the assistant is gone. Then, they decided to hire a new customer service manager that I will call Linda. That woman was CRAZY. While I was 23 at the time, she was only 20 acting like she owned the world.
To give you an idea, in the span of 8 months being here, she got 11 employees fired for stupid reasons and since our director at the time was just as crazy... it was easier for her to get her way. Also, when I say stupid reasons, I'll give you a few examples: Benji got fired because he was "talking too loud" in the break room and it was disturbing her peace and supposedly making her harder to rest to come back fully ready to finish her shift. Marie got fired because she HAD to take off work to go to a relative's funeral and couldn't give her 2 weeks notice. Rose got fired because she was getting "too old to do her job properly and it was ruining the pace of the team's work" (which is bs, I've never seen someone cut veggies and fruits as fast as her). And I could go on. Yes, some of them could've been able to be protested against and even file a complaint against her. Mind you, outside of Rose, everybody was too young to just wanting to fight for a grocery store job. Even Rose just decided to take her retirement earlier and fucked off the work world lol.
Anyways, she took it too far when she tried to mess with me. To give you the context, we had a huge special on lemons and sometimes, those fruits can get rotten and you don't notice it because there's no smell. The only way you'd know is by going through the several small boxes of like 10ish lemons and look at them all one by one. Which I did regularly, but hey, I'm not a robot, sometimes some of them slipped out of my eyes. I was leaving the backstore with more boxes when I saw Linda with a customer that seemed more than pissed. So I go see both of them because mind you.. she has a LEMON box and I work in the fruits department. So it's kind of my job to help IF I CAN. That's when I asked her "Hey Linda, do you need help with the lemons?" And right away she told me "Fuck off, I don't need your help, I already spoke to your manager. Go do your job for once." My face was literally like this 😳 as I went to my department. Even the pissed customer did a bombastic side eyes.
A few minutes later, I go back to the backstore to fulfill the missing products and my manager pulls me aside. "Hey OP, stay out of Linda's business. I can't protect you all the time for talking back." I stopped him right away asking what does he means cause as soon as she told me to fuck off, I did fuck off. He looked at me surprised and said he'd come back to me with it, but only tomorrow because he's finishing his shift and for some personal reason, he can't stay longer to solve the issue. Since Linda was the manager on guard that night, he told me to stay in the back as much as possible to stay in her good graces. That's what I did.
One hour after my manager left, I heard my name being called in the front office (shared by the customer service manager and director). Big wtf. I go in the front and all of my colleagues are looking at me like I'm a prisoner going to their death sentence. Mind you, I know my laws and my rights. I might be young, but as soon as I got called, I started reciting in my head the main laws and rights she has to respect. I open the door's office and Linda is FUMING. And she is alone. She asks me to close the door and I tell her "No, it is my right to have someone in the room with us for this talk. I am not comfortable being alone with you." She starts freaking out and starts to speak louder, on the verge of screaming. "Linda. This room is recorded 24/7 and the customers can hear you talking to me like that. Lower your tone and find a witness to be in the room or I'll go back to work." She stands up to look outside the office and sees that indeed, there's a line in front of the cash looking to the office's direction. She takes a few deep breaths and calls Gabrielle who takes care of the finances of the store so she can be a witness. From the moment Gab got into the room, she seemed like she wanted to get away, so do I.
Gab took a seat in the back and Linda starts her whole speech. I'll be paraphrasing cause the meeting took almost an hour.
L: You know why I brought you here, right? OP: Not really, I've been in the backstore minding my business. Why? L: Well you disrespected my authority in front of a customer and that's a big no no for the company. OP: For the company or for you? L: OP, this is not the topic. You shouldn't be disrespecting authority in front of customers. It makes the managers look bad. OP: I was honestly just trying to help because you had a box of products from my department. I just wanted to help because the customer looked pissed and I didn't want him to ruin your fragile mood. L: My fragile mood?! Are you fucking serious?! OP: Linda, we are being recorded and we have a witness. I'm asking you to stay polite and not scream or I will file a complaint against you. L: Are threatening me??? OP: No, I am stating my rights and making you aware of where your attitude will lead you. I won't accept being talked like that by someone that ain't even my manager. L: Okay OP, let me remind you where your position stands in this business.
That bitch started to draw a triangle, put her name at the tippidy top and mine at the bottom. I didn't even let her finish what she had to say, I stormed off the office, went into the employees lockers, took my stuff and headed out. Linda ran after me, yelling like a psycho "YOU CAN'T LEAVE LIKE THAT! YOU'RE STILL SCHEDULED FOR THE CLOSE!" I stopped on my steps, making Linda almost run into me and said with the most blank expression I could have "Linda, you crossed a line and since you're so good at your job, close my department for me. I will be filing a complaint against you." And left the work place.
Next morning, I came to work as usual and had to see my manager and the director. I explained them the whole situation and showed the papers I was about to send to file a complaint against Linda. Also, this dumb bitch didn't even throw her pyramid in the trash. It was still on display when the director came in to work and asked me what it was. I asked her to look at the cameras, put the sound on and listen to the whole meeting. We watched it to my director's horror and who came in to work in the middle of our screening time? Linda! She came into the office and Linda being a poc turned white as a ghost. I've never seen her being so so pale. "W-what are you doing?" The director asked Linda to sit down and we watched again the video. Mind you, it took us one full hour to watch because she was in a never ending power trip. She used to be smart when she was bullying and making stories about past employees, doing it far from the cameras and usually using the other office that doesn't have cameras or a microphone, but she wasn't with me. I guess she got comfortable or whatever, but check mate on her ass.
My director said I could go back to work with my manager, that she would take care of the rest. Two weeks later, Linda still had her job, but our director resigned from her job right away. Which was hella weird, but whatever. We got a new director, she was a total sweet heart and she noticed Linda's crazy power trips right away. She decided to launch an intern investigation, but sadly, all the employees Linda bullied were fired. There was only me and my little complaint waiting to be served. When Nancy, our new director, came to me asking if I knew anything about Linda. I gave her the file, the time stamps of the video tape, all the employees she fired for stupid reasons with the old director and also phone numbers of those employees.
Flash forward 2 weeks later, Linda left work earlier, balling her eyes out yelling how Nancy was a bitch and didn't deserve her job. How she always came in earlier, put in the work and yadi yada. Nancy waited a few more days before asking me to come into the office and again, I'll be paraphrasing because a lot have been said.
N: HI OP, don't worry, you're not in any trouble. I just saw your CV and noticed you've had a lot of experience in customer service. OP: Yes, I used to be a cashier for almost 5 years, it was my first job. Why? N: I've seen your file, your CV and how you managed the conversation with Linda. We are actually looking for a new customer service manager since Linda have been let go. OP: What about my actual position? N: It's easier to find a fruits and vegetables commis than it is to find a competent service manager.. as you experienced.
I ended up accepting the position and all my co-workers cheered for my raise. I don't want to brag, but I've always been the one to defend everybody in the place, making sure I'll keep my job in the process and following the laws and rights. A few months later, Linda came back to the store as a customer and the look she had on her face when she saw me at the cash with the manager uniform was priceless. It was even more priceless when she asked me when I got the promotion and I told her the exact date, which matched her departure. "So you got my position when I left?" I just nodded and asked if I could do anything more to help have a better experience in the store. She didn't answer to that and just left after paying her things.
To this day, it's still one of my favorite moments to have been through. I'm not a petty person, but if I can ruin you in the process of me trying to defend my people, I'll be more than happy to do so. Last I've heard of Linda, she was working for the competitor, but never had any promotions.

Bitcoin

• Ok-Affect2924

PSA: I lost nearly all my bitcoin by mining bitcoin
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• GuncelKriptoCom

El Salvador is now in a $58m profit on their #Bitcoin investment strategy! 🚀
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• GuncelKriptoCom

#Bitcoin whales are accumulating at a pace never seen before.
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ethereum

• edmundedgar

Netherlands Tornado Cash judgement (Google Translate)
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• GloopBloopan

MetaMask Optimism Ethereum transaction fails instantly
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• Otherwise_Donkey_375

Georgia Tech's CyFI Lab connected $2 billion of illicit profits to 91 digital wallets on the Ethereum blockchain
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CryptoCurrency

• kirtash93

Is Bitcoin A 90% Surge Incoming? Analyst Sees Bottom As Inflation Data In Focus
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• kirtash93

Bitcoin Regains $63K as Japan Public Firm Migrates to BTC-only Reserve
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• jawanda

Coinbase is heckin' down
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btc

• GeneralProtocols

*Now you can long or hedge BCH against the Euro on BCH Bull! *
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• MikedEACONYURMOUTH

Are these fees for real.
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• JonathanSilverblood

bitcoin cash podcast episode, direclty from bliss
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SatoshiStreetBets

• Historical_Drink_486

Why $Kendu will take over. Dev and early investors are shib ogs. Shytoshi the head dev of shib is watching and supporting the project. We have a 100% organic community with 0$ money spent on influencers or marketing. We don't gamble, we work. A new floor is created at 40m mc after we just did a 20x!
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• HumblestofBears

What does it mean to be the next SHIB?
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• Token_Broker

VoteDoge's $1 Challenge Update and Expansion Plans!
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CryptoMarkets

• 0xJonnyDee

Biden blocks Chinese crypto miner's land purchase near US base in Wyoming
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• coinmonks

$71 Million WBTC Hacker Returns the Entirety of Funds Back to Victim
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• Salonicryptotimes

Hong Kong's Bitcoin & Ethereum ETFs facing rough waters.
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CryptoCurrencies

• AutoModerator

Weekly General Discussion - May 13, 2024
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CoinBase

• LatinumGirlOnRisa

Planned Coinbase Maintenance Suddenly? Everything Worked UNTIL I Tried To Sell To CASH OUT
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• AggravatingLaw5523

After 2 months of trying to unblock my account i get this. WTF
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• Monstercock_roach

Withdrawals not available at this time?!?
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binance

• AutoModerator

Binance Support Thread
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FantomFoundation

• Defiant-Horse-7368

Fantom - Multichain bridge
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• Afrandnia

BTC (Fantom) to USDT
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solana

• red5600

What's your tactic to make money with meme coins on Solana?
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• don911

Do you earn staking interest on the interest too, or only on the principal?
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• 0euy

how’s ur strat for pump.fun?
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cosmosnetwork

• Bupefiend

Saga entries?
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• zapppelphilippp

I just clicked a scam link and connected my metamask and keplr. please help.
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• ZoltanAtom

"XRPL goes interchain" Powered by evmOS
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algorand

• GhostOfMcAfee

Babe. Wake up. New Algorand BetaNet just dropped.
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• GhostOfMcAfee

TDR and NFTR proposals are up on the Forum for review/comment ahead of voting
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• AdministrativeChef47

Algo Hour today at 1pm EST!!
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cardano

• BCHTOMOON

Cardano Foundation CEO Hints at CNT Listing on Gemini
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• cardano_content_bot

Cardano's Biggest News and Updates Live with Paul, Farid and Josh
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• cardano_content_bot

Combining Cardano & Ethereum! APEX Fusion Tokenomics & Airdrop Reveal!
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Monero

• Dopenxans

Haveno situation
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• Dopenxans

*HardenedSteel Haveno published, binaries available *
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• sunchakr

Privacy is Pro-National Security w/ J.W. Verret (MT 310)
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NFT

• jay_pu

I finally completed a collection of JennifeKoyangi mint condition Reddit Collectible NFTs!
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• Noonesees_

Minting soon. Check this out!
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• Melodic-Raspberry-80

*Pollinated *
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Welcome to the headcanon sharing circle! Each week we post a few creative prompts for character development and share our OCs.

Sponsor the weekly thread!

We take turns picking the questions every week, so please volunteer to host if you enjoy the weekly posts!

• Mention your interest in the comments – this week's host will tag the next person.
• Then just copy and paste this pre-formatted pastebin text with any 2 questions of your choice.
• Browse, add, and get ideas over at the list of prompts. (This is for you to put ideas if you plan on hosting; people hosting don’t need to write down prompts they made up themselves for their week!)
• There is the OC Emporium that houses many of the OCs, feel free to put your OC there!
• Don't forget there is an OC wiki Discord server, and we welcome everyone who wishes to join and share! (Linked on the front page of the Wiki)

May 21 –
May 28 – u/student_in_cave
June 4 – u/spinbobbin
June 11 –

THE PROMPTS:

(You can answer just one or both, with as many characters as you want. Pictures and character summaries are fine. Short answers or novel-length walls of text are fine.)
Prompt 1

If your OC were a DND race, which race and potentially sub-race would they be?

Prompt 2

For queer OCs, what does their identity mean to/for them? Is it an important part of them, or is it just a trait they don’t even really think about? Has being queer had a significant effect on their life in any way, either positively or negatively?

And don't forget to take the time to read and comment on other people's posts! The comments, questions and chats are what make the thread so much fun.

I recently began playing GO as a long time pokefan, now I'm questioning if I should continue investing in playing long term.
This is more a discussion rather than a question, but there are questions.
Since I began in Jan '24, there have been 3 days where the UI stops working at optimal performance. What I mean, the ball visuals and throwing mechanic are laggy and do not match real world timing.
If this had happened once and went away same day I would not be worried. Since this has occurred nearly every month I've played, I am thinking of stopping. I would be very unhappy if my account became unplayable after wasting cash that would be lost for nothing.
Finally to the crux of the issue, does the UI glitch occur this often. I enjoy the exercise encouragement and playing with others in raids and PVP, so it would be a loss but better than a glitchy experience that could occur during a community day or raid day. For the day one players or similar, does the UI issue happen more than 1-2 a year?
Data: usually play 2-3 hours a day, 5-7 days a week, using a pixel 8 pro. The throwing mechanic is the worst part, as the throw occurs half a second after I expect it to, from the release. The app as a whole is also laggy, when clicking Pokemon button, settings, etc...
Should I get a different phone? Is it pixel? Any information would be great, I have no clue when app updates occur or are scheduled either, which would be nice but Niantic could not care less, it seems which is also concerning if I am going to put cash money into this app. I still have native resolution disabled because of the last UI issue that made the game unplayable.
Can't play today due to laggy app, which is not the biggest loss but I miss out on the daily bonuses, this makes he game much less appealing, and not effective for encouraging cardio.

When i was 18 years old in 2018 i started to work at a famous restaurant in my state , it was my first job at first it was tough but i managed to deal with it since the restaurant is always busy especially weekends and there is a guy who LOOK LIKE in his mid age i mean maybe in his 30’s he is a regular customer who would come everyday at first he always ask me to add plain water and there’s one time i ask my coworkers to key in his bill since my coworkers is standing infront of the computer my coworkers forgot to print out his bill and when i came to serve him he ask for the bill a bit weird because usually people dont care about the bills i didnt want to upset my supervisor so i just print it out suddenly he ask for my number but i ignore him cause i dont feel comfortable so i decide to share with my coworkers he make a joke about it he said next time if he or some other guy who ask for your number just tell them how much you’ll pay for gettin my phone number well i just laughed at his lame ass joke and forgot about it , since that day i started to avoiding him i ask my other coworker to serve him i’ll pretend to be busy with other things there is one time when my other coworker is busy no one is gonna serve his food i decide to serve it before my supervisor get upset , sigh i shouldnt serve him at the first place and again he ask for my numbed and whats my name but all i said to him that sorry im busy but actually i dont and i forgot to said that this restaurant have 2floor usually he’ll sat at second floor instead at main floor and i always stay at main floor , one day he sat at main floor all i think maybe second floor is full so thats why he sat here suddenky my coworker joking around with me that my FRIEND are coming to visit me i just laugh even tho its fake obviously lmao ngl everytime i saw him its giving me mini heart attack i dont feel comfortable when he is around i started to feel like the panic attack is coming back because of him every morning before i came to work i feel nausea i cant even eat breakfast i didnt want to upset the chef so i eat it in small portion after that he ALWAYS sat at the main floor at the back and there’s one time i thought he left because he already paid for his bill suddenly he came again , one of my coworkers said i think he always came her just because for me and the others just laughing so do i i didnt want people to see that i actually afraid of him idk if they alr know idc , for some reason i need to resign so my coworker told me that he ask where am i but as always idc about him but there is one thing that really disturb me one day my supervisor texted me and send me his picture she asked me that did u know this person did u ask him to find a job because he texted OUR BOSS about my information she asked me if i wanna give my phone number to him i said no i dont want to and i never talk to him that day actually is a special day for me but he ruined it i cried that morning , my other coworkers worried that this guy might be a stalker and some say he is psycho when they saw the convo between our boss and him about me so yall might said why didnt u said no ? for some reason i have dark past about men & i have trust issue especially with man i have my reason for that but i wont say why if u said so u dont trust your father? the answer is yes i dont trust him either im being very CAREFUL around men im really scared of men its not that creepy but it is creepy for me.

Today illustrated that the Democrats have become America’s cheerleaders, emphasizing how investment in the nation’s infrastructure has created jobs and rebuilt the country. This week, the Biden-Harris administration is touting its investments in rebuilding roads and bridges, making sure Americans have clean water, getting rid of pollution, expanding access to high-speed internet, and building a clean energy economy, contrasting that success with Trump’s eternal announcements of an “Infrastructure Week” that never came.
The White House today announced that it has awarded nearly $454 billion in funding from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, including more than 56,000 projects across more than 4,500 communities across the nation. Those include fixing more than 165,000 miles of roads and more than 9,400 bridges and improving more than 450 ports and 300 airport terminals. It has funded more than 1,400 drinking water and wastewater projects and projects to replace up to 1.7 million toxic lead pipes, as well as more than 8,000 low- and zero-emission buses. It has funded 95 previously unfunded Superfund projects to clean up contaminated sites. It has improved the electrical grid and funded 12,000 miles of high-speed internet infrastructure, and exposed internet junk fees.
The White House explained that this investment is making it cheaper to install clean energy technology and lowering families’ monthly energy bills, and highlighted today the available rebates to enable people to take advantage of the new technologies.
On Wednesday, May 8, a report from the Semiconductor Industry Association and the Boston Consulting Group explored the “breathtaking speed,” as the president of the semiconductor organization put it, at which the industry is growing. In the Financial Times on May 9, John Thornhill reported that the CHIPS and Science Act, which provided a $39 billion investment in the semiconductor industry, has “primed a torrent of private sector investment.” With the influx of both federal money and an additional $447 billion of private investment in 83 projects in 25 states, the report forecasts that the U.S. will increase its share of global manufacturing capacity for leading-edge chips from today’s rate of 0% to 28% by 2032. Thornhill compared this investment to that spurred by Russia’s 1957 launch of the Sputnik satellite.
The Economist yesterday announced that the U.S. “is in the midst of an extraordinary startup boom,” and explored “[h]ow the country revived its “go-getting spirit.”
In contrast to the Democrats’ confidence in America, the Republicans are all-in on the idea that the country is an apocalyptic wasteland. At a rally in New Jersey Saturday, Trump announced: “On day one we will throw out Bidenomics and reinstate MAGAnomics.” He promised to extend his 2017 tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations.
But the gist of his speech was an angry, vitriolic picture of a failing nation full of “enemies” that are “more dangerous” than China and Russia and who are “going to destroy our country.” In his telling, the criminal case against him in Manhattan is “bullsh*t,” and President Biden has done more damage than the “ten worst presidents in the history of our country” combined: “[h]e’s a fool; he’s not a smart man…[h]e’s a bad guy…the worst president ever, of any country. The whole world is laughing at him.”
Trump lied that other countries are “emptying out their mental institutions into the United States, our beautiful country. And now the prison populations all over the world are down. They don’t want to report that the mental-institution population is down because they’re taking people from insane asylums and from mental institutions.” Then he riffed into “the late great Hannibal Lecter,” the fictional murderer and cannibal in the film The Silence of the Lambs, apparently to suggest that similar individuals are migrating to the U.S.
House Republicans this week are working to pass a nonbinding resolution to condemn Biden’s immigration policies, although it was Republicans, under orders from Trump, who killed a strong bipartisan immigration bill earlier this year.
The only way to turn back this apocalypse, Trump and his supporters insist, is to put Trump and his team back into the White House. From there, Republicans will return those they consider “real” Americans to power.
The last few days have added new information about what that means. On Thursday, May 9, Senators Katie Britt (R-AL), Marco Rubio (R-FL), and Kevin Cramer (R-ND) introduced the More Opportunities for Moms to Succeed (MOMS) act. Britt—who is best known for her disastrous response to Biden’s State of the Union speech from her kitchen—said the measure would provide a federal database of resources for pregnant women and women parenting young children, but that information excludes anything that touches on abortion.
The measure is clear that it enlists the government in opposition to abortion, but more than that, it establishes that the government will create a database of the names and contact information of pregnant women, which the government can then use “to follow up with users on additional resources that would be helpful for the users to review.”
A government database of pregnant women would give the federal government unprecedented control over individuals, and it is especially chilling after the story Caroline Kitchener broke in the Washington Post on May 3, that a Texas man, Collin Davis, filed a petition to stop his ex-partner from traveling to Colorado, where abortion is legal, to obtain an abortion. Should she do so, his lawyer wrote, he would “pursue wrongful-death claims against anyone involved in the killing of his unborn child.” Now Davis wants to be able to depose his former partner along with others he says are “complicit” in the abortion.
Antiabortion activists are also seeking to make mifepristone and misoprostol, drugs used in many abortions, hard to obtain. In Louisiana, state lawmakers are considering classifying the drugs as “controlled dangerous substances,” which would make possessing them carry penalties of up to ten years in prison and fines of up to $75,000.
More than 240 Louisiana doctors wrote to lawmakers saying that the drugs have none of the addictive characteristics associated with dangerous controlled substances and warning that the drugs are crucial for inducing routine labor and preventing catastrophic hemorrhage after delivery, in addition to their use in abortions. “Given its historically poor maternal health outcomes, Louisiana should prioritize safe and evidence-based care for pregnant women,” the doctors wrote.
Louisiana lawmakers also rejected a bill that would have allowed anyone under age 17, the age of consent in Louisiana, to have an abortion if they became pregnant after rape or incest. Passionate testimony from those who suffered such attacks or who treated pregnant girls as young as 8 failed to convince the Republican lawmakers to support the measure. “That baby [in the womb] is innocent.… We have to hang on to that,” said Republican state representative Dodie Horton.
Today, at the Asian Pacific American Institute for Congressional Studies, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization promoting Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander participation and representation at all levels of the political process, Vice President Kamala Harris encouraged young people to innovate and to move into spaces from which they have been traditionally excluded.
“So here’s the thing about breaking barriers,” she said. “Breaking barriers does not mean you start on one side of the barrier and you end up on the other side. There’s breaking involved. And when you break things you get cut. And you may bleed. And it is worth it every time…. We have to know that sometimes people will open the door for you and leave it open. Sometimes they won’t. And then you need to kick that f*cking door down.”
Harris’s advice reflects the history that happened on this date in 1862, when the enslaved mariners on board the shallow-draft C.S.S. Planter gathered up their families, fired up the ship’s boilers, and sailed out of the Charleston, South Carolina, harbor. The three white officers of the ship had gone ashore, leaving enslaved 23-year-old pilot Robert Smalls to take control. Smalls knew how to steer the ship and give the proper signals to the Confederates at Fort Sumter, Fort Moultrie, and three other checkpoints.
Smalls piloted the Planter, the sixteen formerly enslaved people on it, and a head full of intelligence about the Confederate fortifications at Charleston to the U.S. Navy. In Confederate hands, the Planter had surveyed waterways and laid mines; now that information was in U.S. hands. Smalls went on to pilot naval vessels during the war, and in 1864 he bought the house formerly owned by the man who had enslaved him.
A natural leader, Smalls went on to become a businessman, politician, and strong advocate for education. After serving in the 1868 South Carolina Constitutional Convention that made school attendance compulsory and provided for universal male suffrage, he went on to serve in the South Carolina legislature from 1868 to 1874, when he was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives, where he served until 1887. When President Barack Obama signed an executive order establishing the nation’s first national monument concerning Reconstruction, he cited the life of Robert Smalls.
—
Notes:
https://newjerseymonitor.com/2024/05/12/trump-brings-2024-campaign-to-the-jersey-shore/
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a60774814/trump-rally-new-jersey-weird-speech/
https://www.britt.senate.gov/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/MOMS-Act_FINAL-Britt_Rubio_Cramer1.pdf
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/11/katie-britt-proposes-federal-database-to-collect-data-on-pregnant-people
https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/2024/05/03/texas-abortion-investigations/
https://lailluminator.com/2024/05/08/rape-incest/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/05/13/abortion-pills-louisiana-controlled-substance/
https://www.economist.com/finance-and-economics/2024/05/12/america-is-in-the-midst-of-an-extraordinary-startup-boom
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/05/13/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-kicks-off-infrastructure-week-by-highlighting-historic-results-spurred-by-president-bidens-investing-in-america-agenda/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/05/13/fact-sheet-president-bidens-investing-in-america-agenda-is-helping-american-families-across-the-country-save-money/
https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/icymi-the-great-american-innovation-engine-firing-again
https://www.ft.com/content/0d39e8f0-38ba-40aa-8ec8-d04e82afb690
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/08/us/politics/chips-grants-fuel-industry-growth.html
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/11/trump-rally-new-jersey-trial-fascists-00157482
https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2017/01/12/presidential-proclamations-establishment-reconstruction-era-national
https://www.nps.gov/people/robert-smalls.htm
Twitter (X):
cspan/status/1790048826440503495
Fritschnestatus/1790051154887340473
rosiewestwood/status/1788291766866567439
CecileRichards/status/1789020452855140723
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-13-2024

One of the lesser known and discussed components to David Kibbe’s approach to developing an authentic personal style is his color system.
What I think is quite unique about his approach is that it is rooted in color theory. I know that sounds kind of obvious… aren’t all personal color systems rooted in color theory? Not quite in the same way, no.
To go back to the absolute basics of color theory we start with the foundational concept of Primary Colors; Red, Yellow and Blue. Where In color theory; Yellow is Warm, Blue is Cool and Red is Neutral.
Disclaimer: Yes! There’s such thing as a Warm Blue or a Cool Yellow. David gives every season their own version of Yellow and Blue. However, we’re referencing a *pure** version of these colors - not a blend.*
So when we say “cool toned” this means the colors have a blue base since blue is cool. The same can be said for the concept of “warm toned” which means the colors have a yellow base since yellow is warm.
Now, nobody’s skin tone is literally yellow (we’re not lemons) or literally blue (we are not lizards). We are a complex blend of pigments that create a unique mix of tones within our skin, hair and eyes. What we’re looking to determine with our personal coloring here is wether we have a blue (cool) or golden (warm) undertone. With our hair and eyes providing extra clues but our undertone being the most important factor to consider.
Before we launch into the **Metamorphosis excerpt on David’s approach to personal color, I would like to pause and remind us all, that, as with all things Kibbe, it bares reminding that it is essential we leave all prior ideas on colouring aside and approach this process with a sense of playful exploration and curiosity. Our personal coloring just as our Kibbe ID is part of what makes us uniquely beautiful. So it’s not about there being a “correct” or “incorrect” answer. It’s about celebrating what is innate to us.*

Discovering the magic of your coloring

So much has been written in recent years about your coloring and "having your colors done" that I simply can't take you through this journey without a brief detour in this often confusing area.
As a firm believer in the beauty of our natural coloring, I've always felt that it should be enhanced and prized as one of our greatest gifts from Nature. Since I could be described as one of the pioneers of the modern color movement, I've worked long and hard to educate the public about the possibilities and systems that exist to make working with your coloring easy, clear, exciting, and most of all, fun!
In the past few years, I've watched many variations spring up on the basic theme of personal color analysis. As in all extremely popular fields, some of the "new" variations are simply gimmicks de- signed to cash in on the latest fad, while others bear at least some validity.
For my money, however, the basic system of the seasonal color theory originally developed by Johannes Itten of the Bauhaus School is still far and away the most effective.
This theory divides your coloring into four basic categories named after the seasons, based on two parts of your genetic makeup: (1) the undertone of your skin, which is blue or golden and functions as the "base" of your coloring; and (2) the in- tensity of your coloring, which has to do with the type of "contrast" between your hair. skin, and eyes.
Simply put, your "season" is a general description of the type of coloring you inherited and the palette of colors that will enhance it. Each "season" represents a family of colors that consists of over two million shades within the palette. Here's a brief description of each:

Winter

Blue undertone to the skin. High-contrast coloring (distinct difference between the hair, skin, eyes).
Palette: Cool, clear colors. Blue-based shades with sharp intensity. A jewel-toned palette ranging from vivid colors to very pale, icy shades.
Person: The hair is usually dark (a solid color as opposed to visibly highlighted) with an ash base, and the skin and eyes are quite clear.
Celebrities: Elizabeth Taylor, Cher, Diahann Carroll, Connie Chung.

Summer

Blue undertone to the skin. Blended contrast (the hair, skin, eyes tend to blend together).
Palette: Cool, muted colors. Blue- based shades with a saturated intensity. A dusty palette ranging from pastels to very deep shades.
Person: The hair is usually medium dark to medium light (a dense color with a very subtle highlight) with an ash base, and the skin tone is saturated while the eyes are softly muted.
Celebrities: Grace Kelly, Queen Elizabeth, Jane Fonda.

Autumn

Golden undertone to the skin. Contrast is medium to high, but characterized by richness.
Palette: Warm, intense colors. Yellow based shades with a heavy saturation of richness. A fiery palette ranging from very vivid, hot shades to a few softly muted neutrals.
Person: The hair is usually a richly highlighted shade with a red base, ranging from very deep chestnut to fiery auburn to a very deep honey. The skin tone is rich and saturated (ranging from very pale to very deep) and the eyes are a mixture of marbelized color.
Celebrities: Natalie Wood, Ann-Margret, Diane Keaton, Katharine Hepburn, Shari Bela- fonte-Harper.

Spring

Golden undertone to the skin. Contrast is delicate, but sharp.
Palette: Warm and clear colors. Yellow based shades with a light, bright intensity. A vibrant pal ette ranging from very fresh, vivid shades to a few clear pales.
Person: The hair is usually a medium dense shade (with a subtle natural highlight) and a golden or red base, ranging from medium golden brown to strawberry to golden blond. The skin tone is clear and delicate, and the eyes are crisp.
Celebrities; Shirley MacLaine, Sissy Spacek, Vanessa Williams, Arlene Dahl, Eva Gabor.

Draping the Seasons

Question: How can I determine my "season"? Can I tell by just looking at myself in the mir ror? Can I tell by looking at the underside of my wrists?
Not really. The best way to objectively determine your season is with the help of three or four friends. To correctly determine your season, you've got to first determine both the undertone of your skin (blue or golden), and then the type of contrast between your hair, skin, and eyes. The only way to accurately do this is by a process called "draping," whereby you drape selected shades of fabric under your chin and compare the color of the fabric to the colors in your face. You cannot determine your undertone by simply looking at your wrist because you are merely viewing the "shade" of your skin tone, as opposed to the undertone or base coloration.
In the draping process, you discover your skin's undertone by an indirect method. The aim is to enhance the undertone of your skin by using a complementary base color from the selected fabric.
Here's how to do this: With a group of three or four friends, assemble the following large swaths of fabric:

Four shades of green:

a) a blue-based emerald green (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based sen green (soft and dusty)
c) a yellow-based mossy green (rich and in- tense)
d) a yellow-based bright chartreuse (light and clear)

Four shades of red:

a) a blue-based scarlet (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based dusty raspberry (soft and muted)
c) a yellow-based tomato (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright poppy (light and clear)

Four shades of blue:

a) a blue-based royal (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based cornflower (soft and dusty)
c) a yellow-based teal (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright aqua (light and clear)

Four shades of pink:

a) a blue-based fuchsia (vivid and clear)
b) a blue-based dusty rose (soft and muted)
c) a yellow-based salmon (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright coral (light and bright)
Now drape each other in these colors, following the order in which they're listed. As you're watching this process, be sure to focus on the person's face, not the color. (Remember, you're seeking to discover which color brings the person out, not sim- ply the color you like best.)
In the right shade, you'll watch the person's skin tone become smooth and clear; shadows will seem to miraculously disappear!
In the wrong shades, the color will reflect onto the person's face; you'll notice the color, not the person.
Have your friends vote on what they're seeing. You'll nearly always find the consensus of others to be correct. (Your own opinion may be somewhat prejudiced by color preferences and the thought of having to change your wardrobe!)
If the consensus is that the colors of group a tested best on you consistently, you are a "Winter." If the consensus is toward group b, you are a "Summer." If the consensus is toward group c, you are an "Autumn"; and if the consensus is toward group d, then you are a "Spring."
NOTE: It's very important to perform this draping ceremony in natural light, so be sure you work near a large window with good sun exposure. Also, if your hair has been artificially colored, or has any chemical processing on it such as perms or waves, be sure to cover it with a white turban or bandanna. This will prevent your altered haircolor from throwing any shadows on your face, which could result in a misanalysis. This is crucial in determining your season, so don't forgo it in the name of vanity! Since the skin tone is a much subtler color than your hair, it's very easy to simply match the shades of fabric to the hair, rather than to the complexion. Also, be sure you remove all traces of makeup before you begin!

Questions & Answers

Q. Can I be a mixture of seasons!
A. No, you cannot. It's genetically impossible! Each "season" refers to a specific type of coloring, of which there are only four. For example, you cannot have a mixture of a golden and a blue undertone. Since the undertone functions as the base of your skin tone, it determines whether the shade of skin you have is either warm or cool. A color can only have one base, whether it's skin color, haircolor, fabric, a cosmetic shade, or even the paint on your wall!
The basic law of abstract color theory states that the base of a color determines its shade. For example, a burgundy red has a blue base. It is this blue base that actually causes the shade to be burgundy instead of some other shade of red, say tomato red or rust. Likewise, a mossy green is caused by a yellow base, while an emerald green is emerald because its base is blue! Your skin tone is exactly the same. An olive skin is always caused by a blue undertone. That's why it's olive and not a tawny beige (which is caused by a golden undertone). On the other hand, an ivory skin tone has a golden base, which is what makes it ivory instead of porcelain (which is caused by a blue undertone). There isn't a single individual-dead, alive. or yet to be born who possesses a mixture of undertones. It simply can not happen!
Q. What about "intensity"? Can I be a mixture of the "cools" (WinteSummer) or the "warms" (Autumn/Spring)!
A. No, you cannot. As with the undertone, you have one type of intensity to your coloring. High contrast coloring needs clear shades to enhance and bring it out effectively. Blended coloring needs a saturation of color to allow the subtlety of your coloring to show through gracefully. Mixing the clear colors with the dusty tones only negates your particular type of coloring.
Moreover, the palettes themselves simply don't mix effectively when you translate them into clothing and cosmetics. If you were to try to create color combinations of the cool Winter and Summer palettes, for example, you would never be able to effectively combine the jewel tones of Winter with the elegantly dusty shades of Summer. Since the palettes are of opposing intensities, the shades themselves are not at all complementary. Any resulting outfits of clothing would simply be a hodgepodge of mismatched colors!
Even more disasterous would be an attempt to mix the tones in cosmetics. For a makeup to be successful, you absolutely must keep all the colors on your face in one family of color, both in terms of the base and the intensity. Mixing them is akin to wearing a shocking pink blouse with a bright orange lipstick! While the result might not always be this glaring, opposite color families do not blend together!
Q. But I've had my colors done "professionally," and I was told I'm a mixture. Why would that have happened?
A. Basically, that means one of two things. Either you were analyzed incorrectly, which is, unfortunately, becoming quite common because of improper training and a lack of experience among color consultants, or it's simply a question of semantics.
Frequently, in an effort to delineate among the specific shades that you can actually wear effectively (be cause of the variations in individual skin tone, hair, and eye colors that exist within a season), color consult ants have attempted to make your palette as specific to you as possible. This sometimes manifests in your being labeled a mixture of seasons or having a "subseason." While this is technically incorrect, since the colors within the seasonal palettes do not actually blend with the other palettes, the result is usually a way of defining the range of shades within your season that appear most exciting on you.
From my experience, based on analyzing thousands of clients over a number of years, I simply find it too inaccurate and confusing to try to suggest to my clients that they "mix" the palettes. It's not helpful in a practical sense, for it doesn't actually add any colors that they can effectively work with in clothing, cosmetics, or haircolor. And, since it's technically incorrect, as I previously stated, I find that the clients who come to our salon with a "mixture" of colors nearly always have either a diluted appearance, in terms of focus, or they have a lot of mistakes hanging in their closets! Can my "contrast" change with age?
Q. What about as my hair turns gray? Does this change my season?
A. No, your season never changes with age, or anything else! As your hair begins to gray, Nature is not only changing your haircolor, but is also changing your skin tone and eyes at the same time. The balance among these three elements always remains the same. For example, if you're a mature Vivid Winter, like actress Bea Arthur, the balance among your haiskin/eyes is best described as high contrast. You have a vivid haircolor, a fair skin, and an intense eye color. True, your haircolor is not the same as when you were twenty years old, when it was probably a deep brunette, but you've maintained the high contrast coloring you were born with. As your hair began to gray, it didn't turn a dull or mousy shade of gray, but rather went a brilliant silver, didn't it? Your skin and eyes have actually gotten lighter at the same time, even though this difference is probably imperceptible to you. Do yone that your high contrast has not changed at all! You still have a vivid haircolor, a fair skin, and an in- ten eye color. Your balance has remained the same! You are still a Vivid Winter, and the colors that focus your specific coloring are still cool and clear!
Whatever your season, Nature created your haiskin/eyes as a unit. They always change together, and the balance among them never changes That's why your season never changes!
Q. Does my season have anything to do with style? For example, I read somewhere that Winters should stick to solids and geometrics, while Autumns are very good in tweeds and textures.
A. Not in the least! Having your colors done has absolutely nothing to do with anything other than determining what your skin tone is and which palette of colors to work with to enhance it. It tells you nothing more specific than the range of colors to use. Your specific clothing choices (including fabrics and textures, as well as shapes and lines), makeup shades, and haircolor range all come from developing your personal style through discovering your Image Identity.
For example, Autumns are frequently told to concentrate on use of textures in their wardrobe. Yet Ann-Margret is a Fiery Autumn, but as a Theatrical Romantic, I'd much rather see her in silks, satins, angora, and se quins than rough textures or tweeds any day of the year!
Having your colors done can be a wonderful and exciting addition to your life, and I highly recommend it when it's properly executed. Just be careful not to give it more importance than it's worth. Your coloring is only one part of you - it's worthy of being carefully looked at, but only within the contest of your total look.

Now I’m sure for those of us who are more visual the written descriptions of these colors can be ultra confusing! Unfortunately we can not share the seasonal palettes David has created. However, the palettes as well as a wealth of additional information on the sub seasons, additional celebrities as well as the three make up palettes for each season etc. can be accessed within the Four Season Freedom Facebook Group.
My personal tip is to get a good grasp on basic color theory by understanding what blue based vs yellow based colors look like. A really creative and explorative way to approach this is by getting some paints out and mixing the tones to see how blue (cool) with added yellow (warm) transforms into a warm blue. (Please ensure you use a true Yellow, a true Blue, a true Red, a true Black and a true White).
The goal of the system isn’t to just wear the colors David has in his seasonal palettes - it’s to use these as a jumping off point. So, that you can then take the concept of your coloring and have the ability to intuitively identify colors that harmonise with you rather than pull out a palette on your phone every time you go clothes or make up shopping!
Each season can be quickly understood by what it’s characteristics evoke:

Winter (Cool) is Jewel

Spring (Warm) is Vibrant

Summer (Cool) is Lush

Autumn (Warm) is Fiery

A quick disclaimer!! No season gets boring muted colors. Everyone gets beautifully saturated colors! You won’t see the sad, drab and dull tones often seen in other seasonal color systems here! For example Summer is Lush in tone not muted and Autumn is fiery in tone, again not muted In any sense if the word.

Let’s talk about the defining characteristics tied to certain seasons

I want to preface this part, by reminding us all that much like our Kibbe ID, we are born with the innate characteristics we have ; we are who we are meant to be! And so it’s never a case of being relegated to certain IDs or color seasons based on certain characteristics. But, instead we are embarking on the journey to discover what has always been there with the objective of achieving harmony with ourselves and in doing so bringing out our unique beauty.
Brown eyes Brown eyes are a feature of high contrast coloring and therefore will always be a high contrast season; Autumn or Winter.
Naturally Ginger / Red hair Ginger / Red hair is a warm color (a mix of a golden base with added red) and therefore will always be a warm season; Spring or Autumn.
An Olive undertone Olive is always caused by a blue undertone, therefore it will always be Winter.
Naturally Blonde hair Blonde hair can be any season except for Winter which requires a high level of contrast between the features; Skin/HaiEyes.
The Color Black Black is considered a cool tone that casts a shade on its surrounds, due to its depth of contrast is only given to Winters as with Winters it enhances the clarity of coloring whether-as with all other seasons it muddies their coloring.
The Color White White, on the other hand is universally given to all seasons as it is considered a neutral.

I just wanna begin by saying that this sub really helped me to understand certain things and feel like I’m not alone and what I’m going through is important and valid. I’ve been reading many posts here, made two of my own and got to talk with wonderful people. As someone who has a hard time sharing things that bother me (no matter how much) I find it easier to share here and just get some things off of my chest. Up until recently I haven’t thought about certain things that had happened to me and since I began analyzing memories are flooding my mind. I’ve never realized just how much I’ve been keeping inside. How much was easier to forget. How much all of this had impacted my life. So, now I’m working on unwinding this mess that had been in my head for years and trying to live a healthier life and actually take care of my mental health. I’ve found my diary (yes, I had one when I was 10, I thought I was like the main character in some movie secretly writing about my day with a flashlight) and the things I read about sometimes made my skin crawl. It’s not something absolutely horrific but it explained some things to me. Recently I’ve made a post about feeling like a kid and not being able to grow up and how my mother contributed to that by controlling pretty much every aspect of my life and some things she did I now realize were creepy (like the bathroom thing, controlling my dating life and asking if mast*rbate and how). Now I realize that my sense of boundaries, what is acceptable and unacceptable, my personal bubble is completely skewed. I’ve mentioned in that post that I allow people to touch me when I’m uncomfortable and what I mean by “allow” is that I just take it and never say anything to them. Or I simply don’t notice that something is not quite appropriate until something clicks in my head. (I should add that I’m 24 and I still live with my abusive mother though she’s no longer being physically abusive. I feel and also look like a teenager so people perceive me in a certain way.) Sometimes it’s easier for me to speak through examples as I haven’t quite figured out how to express things yet. There was a situation where I had to take a bus and there’s nothing strange about that. I generally feel unsafe when there’s a person between me and the possible escape route but I also feel deeply unsettled by being exposed in any way(so kinda need to hide but don’t like to be surrounded which on a bus is impossible), so to distract myself I usually have headphones on and I stare at my phone. That time a woman sat next to me at the back of a bus and it was a long ride, so I turned the music up and closed my eyes. I haven’t noticed it at first but that woman was stroking my thighs and to me it didn’t seem weird at all (now it really does as I look back at the situation) until minutes later something clicked in my head and I’ve opened my eyes to just stare at her and she didn’t even stop. I just put my backpack on my lap. As I look back at it all now I’m surprised that was the only thing I did. I didn’t feel threatened in any way, I felt awkward and slightly ashamed thinking what others would think if they noticed that. Something similar happened at a mall when a woman just walked in on me in a changing room. She was just looking at me and was staring back at her. I didn’t say anything until she asked if I need any help trying on clothes and I quietly said “no”. She left but I felt some kind of way, like I was dirty or something. People always invade my space. And I never can say “no” if they’re asking me to do something or to go somewhere. Especially when it comes to strangers and people I don’t know that well. I waste my time doing things they want me to do instead of doing homework or enjoying a book or even eating/drinking and taking care of my needs. I’ve spent hours helping someone rearrange their furniture while being hungry and exhausted but I didn’t say a thing. People get angry with me sometimes when they discovered over I was in pain or discomfort while helping them but in my mind I was afraid they’d be angry with me if told them because it’s an excuse to not help or something. So people who want to use me and have shady intentions can use me and people who think I’m just happy to help end up using me and they didn’t really want to do that but I’ve put them in that strange position because I can’t say “no”. I ended up in places far from home late at night because I was helping friends of friends who thought I genuinely had nothing else to do and nowhere else to be. I really don’t know what to do with this and how to stop being like this. My social life is all weird because people genuinely don’t understand why I’m doing this and up until recently I didn’t either. I hope someone would have some kind of advice. Sorry for such a long post.

I've seen multiple cases where RAM is a bottleneck when trying to game. Why don't manufacturers make faster RAM?
DDR5: max 8000MT/s typically 6000-6400 on higher end models, consumer mobos use dual channel (128-bit configuration). Only servers and workstations use 4 to 8 channels.
LPDDR5X: 9600MT/s max with 8533MT/s readily available in all high end phones. Phones also use quad-channel (256-bit) communication.
GDDR6X: uses 22400MT/s ram with up to 256 bits on the 4080s and 21200MT/s with 384 bits on the 4090. Now both DDR and LPDDR use double data rate while GDDR6X uses 16x data rate.
Why is GDDR5 slower than phone-memory and why does it use less channels? Integrated graphics could greatly benefit from extra speed and channels as well as scenarios where VRAM is overflowing which would mean older GPUs with less VRAM could perform better in modern games.
GDDR7 is right around the corner with the RTX 50 series offering 28000MT/s and even higher in the future. Why don't PCs use more channels and more speed? Like why not put in LPDDR RAM in PCs. Why can't I buy sticks of GDDR RAM? What's the reason behind all this if fundamentally both GDDR and DDR use similar, small memory modules (2 and 4 GB respectively)? Why is it that DDR5 sticks are connected by a 2×32-bit bus while GDDR6X modules each have their own 32-bit bus? Also, a lot of laptops use LPDDR5X. What's stopping manufacturers from making that replacable / upgradable?
EDIT: To anyone saying my RAM is not the bottleneck I've tested the same game, BeamNG drive with AI cars. First test: I set the cars so I'm just below the VRAM limit. Second test: I'm just above the VRAM limit and using system memory My average FPS halved and my 1% lows became absolutely horrific. Terrible 1% lows can only happen in case of VRAM overflow or CPU-bottleneck. Now I was at 20% CPU usage in the first test and had a CPU bottleneck in the 2nd test which means my CPU (13500HX) didn't like using my RAM either. Also I've seen countless benchmarks which showed faster RAM is incredibly helpful in CPU-bottlenecked scenarios.

Hey so my bloods came back evelavted (LFT) and so my GP re did them. They said I wouldn't hear anything if all was ok but they've booked me a phone app so I'm guessing it's still abnormal. It wasn't massively out of range but I'm worried what this could mean for me going forward?
Does anyone know what happens?
I dread the idea of having to stop T, I really really really hope that's a last resort and there's other ways to fix it or some reason for it..
Any advice much appreciated.

I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) For a year, we met when I was 18 and he was 21. My relationship is complicated with him, as we both struggle with our mental illnesses and dealing with school/ work. I’m the only one who to therapy and he used to be but it had gotten expensive for him. Whenever we would have arguments, he was more emotionally charged and more anxious. I am not, I’m more avoidant in conversations because of how he can spaz out sometimes, he’s screamed at me other times because of my tone or aggressiveness (We’re from New York City so it’s a bit of a habit so I get that). And it makes me feel detached a lot of the time because I don’t want to do this with him. I also feel as if he is manipulating me and putting so much onto me in general. We had been on the phone for a while debating about something someone said, a known psychologist . I forgot what his thought was but, I remembered that psychologist from somewhere on social media and I remembered he had some views that I felt were misogynistic and I had said that I thought the guy was a POS out loud. My boyfriend was not too keen on that and said like you don’t have to say it like that, I’m giving him anxiety about me taking about another man’s conservative views and character. To be honest, I genuinely don’t even know why he was upset about it but it’s nothing to me to apologize because I can get excited or have an aggressive tone, it does nothing for me not to apologize.
Next day, I had upset him about saying something he did not want to hear and I was like trying to tell him later on I didn’t mean to offend him, and he groans loudly and tells me he didn’t want to talk about it. (He said he didn’t want ven care about what I said.) I felt some type of way about it because why couldn’t you just say that you did not care in the first place instead of having a mannerism that would suggest otherwise?
In the morning, he was going to work and I had brought it up to him how I felt. I had no attitude, I did not have a reason to pick a bone with him or argue and he just begins to start panicking and crying, saying that I was selfish and I should have never brought it up in the morning (which, that his boundary I did cross that but I thought it was acceptable because he had done the same thing before when he spoke to me about his anxiety and I had to sleep but he wanted to clear it.)
He goes to work and he’s just having a breakdown and I was on the phone with him, I genuinely don’t even know what to do when he’s just breaking down the way he is because I don’t know why he is crying like this in the first place. It sounds horrible. He tried to quit his job because of the stress of it all (me included) and it’s been bad ever since. Yesterday, he screamed at me on the phone because I was telling him how I feel in general about this and how I cannot always be there for him (like drop everything). I just feel so invalidated in how I feel (I’ve always acknowledged how he feels in general whilst saying what i think too. I’ll say ‘I understand how you feel (lengthy part to empathize) and i also feel like (my part.)’ and now his family hates me because I’m making him feel this way and he’s screaming. I’ve tried to go on a break with him before but he always persuades me to not ‘break’ up with him. He kept throwing jabs saying, “No one loves me… You don’t even care. You don’t feel bad, I feel betrayed by you.” I don’t know what to do, my therapist is gone for the week and I always look up to here and ask her if I had been wrong about anything I’ve done in my relationship, she says no but sometimes I feel like I need others words of wisdom, especially since I am younger and he is my first boyfriend. Even today, I had called him after and he had texted me something almost at 12 and I just said I saw your text but I didn’t know if I should respond to it. And he got angry at me, saying I keep disrespecting that boundary and last night should not be in my mouth. I tried to apologize but he said to leave him alone for the rest of the day. Am I wrong for being the way that I had been?
tl;dr: I wasn’t there for my boyfriend’s panic attack because of previous experiences with him and he resents me for it and he keeps screaming at me. i don’t know how we can move on.

About a year ago, I [29 M] was in a toxic relationship with J [29 M]. While there were no serious stakes in it (no kids or messy finances), the relationship and breakup ended up emotionally affecting me in a way I had never really thought possible. I feel guilty because after the relationship I tried to be friends with my ex still, which I now see as a mistake in the context of this relationship, and then after a few months, he blocked me because I didn't respect a boundary he had set about not sending him long messages. He said he didn't feel safe since I "completely ignored" the boundary.
I was devastated, but over the course of the next few months, came to understand a great deal of ways that I feel that I had been abused during the relationship. I felt angrier and angrier, and even though I was seeing a therapist, it eventually boiled over. My ex had blocked me on discord and probably on text, but I went onto an astrology app called Co-Star that he had had me download, and sent a message using it that said something like, "You were an abusive partner, but you can make it right with an apology."
Now, I have no idea if he actually saw the message. It was sent with a weird feature of the app called Chaos Mode that apparently chooses to send the message at some future time, so who knows if it actually ever sent. I don't know if he still has the app, if he unfriended me, or whatnot. But I feel guilty because I enacted exactly the caricature of me that he had created--I hadn't respected his boundaries, and I sent the message anyways.
At the same time, I am still feeling very victimized by the relationship. To give you a sense of the kinds of things that were going on in the relationship, here's a few examples that I currently find a little horrific [Note: this kind of turned into a summary of the relationship after I wrote it]. I'm aware that to heal I should probably not be ruminating about these things, especially if they lead me to boil over and message him, but here you go.
The first time I had sex with him, he slammed the door on me for not being able to finish and said "finish yourself." When I came to bed, I told him I felt shame. He said "good." The next time we had sex, he set a timer for me and said I had to finish within 5 minutes. These were the first times I ever had sex. He was manipulative in bed, telling me he didn't want to perform certain acts because I didn't give him enough praise for them, so that I started exaggerating my pleasure; he blamed me for why certain positions weren't working and was frustrated with how my body worked. On top of this, he admitted at the end of the relationship to having had sex with me around five times after he decided to break up with me (before he did), which just makes me feel a bit icky.
He would put me down in pretty transparently cruel ways. One example was when I exerted myself, he said I sounded like a muppet and that he "didn't want to be dating a muppet." When I offered him a blanket but apologized that it might not have been washed in a while, he called me a baby. He would insult my ability to give complements, asking me to tell him what color his eyes are but then rejecting everything that I gave him, telling me I was bad at complements repeatedly (and saying that it wasn't fair of him because his other exes were artists, so no wonder I was bad). Now, there were times that he was complementary to me--he told me I was hot, good at singing, good at writing, smart--but also times where he would put me down for things I was less good at, like cooking.
He constantly made me feel insecure about my gender. (For context, we are both men, but he was raised as a woman). So he would make pretty sweeping feminist critiques over fairly mundane things, like if I complained when I was sick he would go off about how men are always babies when they are sick and women don't get attention. When I confronted him about some of the things he was saying, telling him that while I wanted him to express these kinds of social problems so that I could be aware and adapt, I was feeling insecure in the relationship--he flipped it around and told me that if I didn't feel loved, he could say "I love you" less, and that I hadn't been grateful enough for when he came to visit me. (I had written him poetry, deep cleaned my apartment, taken time off work, sent my roommate off for the week, bought him a bus pass, planned his visit, met him in the airport despite not having a car, and just an insane amount of work to be turned into, "you weren't grateful enough").
Other than namecalling, he was just plain controlling. The reason that the boundary around me not sending long messages exists is that when I felt insecure--which I think makes sense given the ways he would talk to me--I would often send him a few paragraphs apologizing and explaining how I was growing. Even though long messages were the first thing he said he loved about me, and that he said our communication was like magic, he eventually set up what he called an "Essay embargo" and told me not to write them. The first time he set the "embargo", he had said it was only until we met in person because he didn't want me to write anything that would make him nervous. After we met in person, I assumed the embargo had lifted. Yet shortly after, he set it again, giving a few explanations--the main one just being that he wanted to appreciate our relationship without overthinking it. It seemed playful. He definitely did also say that long messages made him uncomfortable because he felt obligated to send a response. So, when I did send messages, I would add that he didn't have to respond (which I realize is not fully respecting the boundary). I did ask after sending messages whether they were ok and he never responded to those questions.
Despite this, there were times during the relationship that I continued to send long, often apologetic messages. I had felt like this boundary was set playfully and I also was feeling overwhelming guilt that I, for whatever reason, needed his affirmation for. I am conflicted because on the one hand, I was definitely ignoring his boundary--but on the other, I feel like the boundary was not very thoughtful of my own needs, either.
Prior to the breakup, it was hell. He was getting angry at me for everything--for pretty mundane things like using the bathroom before him and stinking it up. He told me he had to show me how to do everything, but I realize now that a lot of this was just him being particular (e.g, he told me I don't know how to drink tea because I left the bag in, when I just like it strong). Unfortunately, I had flown 5,000 miles to visit him and was sort of trapped in his proximity, and was drunk on love still since I was trying very hard, it was my first relationship, and he had sold me on notions of fairytale romance and told me we were cosmically meant to be together and other lovebomby sort of things. We flew to a convention and I met some of his friends, and at one point he introduced me to a girl he had almost dated before, saying I was a friend and not a partner. I pointed this out to him later and he just said "does that make you angry?". He flirted with a woman at a party, telling her she was pretty while demanding that i bring him snacks (I feel so, so weak for not confronting him about this). He got drunk and I stayed with him as he passed out, but he was angry at me in the morning. When one of his friends told me they thought I was nice, because i was opening doors for everyone, my ex said "Is he really?" Questioning them.
The breakup itself was cold and calculated. He started it by telling me that he thought about not giving me any reasons for the breakup because I always overanalyze things. He told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I was a woman. He told me I didn't take care of him and he needs a partner that takes care of him, and that his partners always feel taken care of. He threw some things I had said at the beginning of the relationship back at me--misquoting and misunderstanding them.
After the relationship, I had no idea what to think. It was my first relationship. It had started with fairytale romance. I had been passing his tests, I had been an exception to his long string of abusive relationships. He presented himself as this incredibly moral person (vegan, environmentally conscious, telling me of all of the ways others had abused him that he would never do, even his closest friends). I had completely internalized criticisms that he had had of me throughout the relationship, many of which had led to serious self reflection and my writing messages about my growth. Within a week I told him I still loved him and that I always would. He reminded me of his boundary around long messages and said they made him anxious. I was desperate. We took a few weeks of no-contact. We messaged short-messages back and forth, with a few life-updates to eachother each. He told me he was rescuing a kitten that he found, and I remembered how he could be kind.
But as I processed, more and more, I felt angry. I wrote unsent angry letters in the notes app on my phone for a month. I wrote myself a 20,000 word summary of the relationship. This was not a healthy way to process. It elevated me. (Some of you will probably comment that maybe I shouldn't have written this post for the same reason, but oh well--I wanted to process and I want to hear if others have similar stories). Meanwhile, my ex kept pushing back the date for when we would verbally connect again. Eventually, I boiled over. I did not insult him. But I wrote a long message explaining that I wanted to take 3 months of no-contact. I had entered another relationship and told him that even though I was feeling angry at him, he shouldn't be worried because even though I had baggage from the relationship, I was communicating well with my new partner. I also told him that I felt like if I did talk with him, that I would end up tearing him a new one, and that I needed time to cool down. I'm not proud of the message in general, but I didn't call names, tell him he was awful, or anything like that. I was just insensitive and told him I was angry.
And like that, I was blocked. It was over. A period of about 9 months, five of which we were together, with two before escalating towards love bombing and two after escalating towards my boiling over.
And yet, I had never expressed to him that I thought he had been abusive. I felt frustrated that I had told him that I would always love him, when in many ways now I hated him.
Five months passed, during which I came to realize more and more how messed up the relationship was.
And then I sent the message on Co-star.
Fast forward another four months to now.
I just sent him a text, knowing he probably has blocked me there too. It said something like, "I want my last message to you just be: I'm sorry, and I forgive you." I wanted to free myself. I needed to not feel angry at him or ashamed of myself. I needed to not feel like I had a million things to say to him--I needed to just say, this is it: I'm not sending more messages. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. It was for myself. I was forgiving him selfishly, even though he didn't deserve it, so that I could move on.
I feel like I shouldn't have sent this, but I don't feel bad about it yet, either. I needed closure. It always felt like there was some "message I could send" to detail his abuse, and I needed to not have that standing over me--I needed to forgive. I am now oscillating between wondering about myself--whether I have a problem with boundaries, since I had boiled over at this point three times to message him. Feeling frustrated I didn't assert myself about his abuse, that I doubled down on loving him. Part of me is glad that I sent the message on Co-Star saying that he was abusive, because it was the only indication I ever gave him, really, that what he did wasn't ok to me--he had blocked me before I could articulate anything. But I also know that this message even if received would not mean anything to him.
Anyways, now I'm venting about it here on Reddit. Does anyone have similar experiences surrounding self control messaging exes and feeling a bit out of control?

My son has been having problems with another kid and their friends in school. Used to be kind of friends but stopped because they were being weird and being crap to him. They are both in the same class group y5 in primary school and I think like my son they are both 9. I dont know how it started but both kids have been in trouble a few times for fighting. The school have said that even if my son was provoked him hitting someone back is just as bad which is what Ive said to him if someone attacks him he should defend himself as he needs so long as he isnt starting fights. So I have given up on the school dealing with this.
In the last few months we have had things happening at our house instead of just school. My son does some of our gardening work as a job so he has responsibiliy + reason to earn money and they've started bothering him while doing it because they live a few streets away. Sometimes we're getting knocks on door and windows, our bins pulled over and our bird bath on the front has also been knocked over before and when I look at the video its a kid in a hoodie about the same size
Once they tried starting a fight with my son on the garden and he smacked them with a hose so they then came up at him in a group and ganged up on him. I came out and gave them a backhander and said Id do the job their parents wouldnt if they came back.
The parents are scummers who dont give a toss. Ive tried speaking with them outside of school but they arent interested. I dont think the dad is really about. The mum I almost saw nothing of until the slapping and that day she came at me once being mouthy shouting at my kid on the front to come fetch me and I had to pin her to the wall until she calmed down. She has no interest in controlling them and Im at the point Ive told her that if her kids get hurt itll keep happening until she teaches them not to be scum. I made a point of showing her footage on my phone and she said it couldve been anyones kids. She just isnt bothered. Im not really intimidated but I dont like this stuff being somewhere that is supposed to be mine and my kids safe space away from lifes rubbish.
I dont know how the police deal with kids his age but I assume its not great since they see 10 as the age of responsibility. I was going to go to them but someone tried telling me it would be a waste of time and would just mean social services being in my business. I really dont know what I'm supposed to do. I can keep telling my kid to defend himself but he shouldnt be having to live like this. The school dont seem bothered. The parents dont seem bothered. I obviously cant go smacking other peoples kids about but Im not going to just let them hurt mine either.
What should I do? What is the best way for me to put an end to this?

Wanted to screenshot the balance and send to the wife for a little "see? patience will prevail".
So I logged in to see the glorious back-in-the-black balance and... it shows yesterday's closing price. Does CS not recognize AH pricing?
And even if not... it's still- at this minute- showing yesterday's closing price. What gives with CS?
EDIT- yeah, I saw the "15 min delay" thing. I was thinking that was addressing the reflection of the price as I see it on the site. In retrospect, that wouldn't make sense. Welp- back down into the red anyway at this point lol. That's what 15 minute delay gets you.
So I guess this means, with a 15 min delay, SC will essentially never be able to recognize AH action that may reverse itself once the market opens. Not a deal breaker, but still a shame. Meh.
Peace. ANd hold.
2ND EDIT- so I ventured all the way to the "review and submit" page, showing we are once again barely in the black. And yes, it only then seems to show the current price (albeit 15 min behind.). Hey, at least i get my screenshot... although that opening price would have been cooler.
Still weird that while it now shows the balance based on the current market price... right next to that balance is the last closing price of.... 30.45. Meh. At least now I know what it looks like in there.
Hopefully, we're going to end up at a point sometime down the road here where the 15 min delay doesn't effect much when moving to sell as it would have today. (And yes, there will be a sell point for me, as "phone number" prices will never be realistic as far as I'm concerned.) I have my goal price. It ain't 7 digits, FFS, but we're still not even close yet .
Peace.

I started a fast food job last month. I was the shy and quiet type. I've since opened up more, thanks to my co worker. he tried befriending me and got me to play online games with him and other co workers after work. we've spoken on the phone at night a couple times (in a gc with other coworkers so anyone else can join, but no one else does.)
I started training on his position and now we kind of tag team it. So im next to him for the entire shift. and now we're constantly messing around (I just mention we are both just barely adults, he's less than 6 months older than me as well.) By messing around I mean teasing, and even a little touchy but not inappropriately. he has also made some jokes about me wanting him in a not-so appropriate way. and I was surprised it didn't bother me much. I don't get offended easily. but I really can't tell if he's flirting with me or if he's just really nice. his nickname for me literally means a "woman with a large chest and curves." im a bit thicker than him and short so. idk. I'd be lying if I said I didn't find him attractive and I wish I could go into more detail but I don't want to risk him finding this. So if anyone wants more details just dm me because I could really use some advice on how to handle this and what his behaviors could mean. thank you

TLDR: Spouse was secretly recorded by a coworker who was not present or party to the conversation. Coworker then reported the convo to their boss, who told my spouse they were "caught dead to rights" and to "make it right"
 
An audio recording of a conversation between my spouse and their coworker was recorded by a different coworker who was not present for the conversation. The recording was made using a phone that was left on the counter, set to audio record. The employee claims that they were recording a lecture on their laptop while they were out of the room. Neither of the other two individuals in the room were made aware of this. The conversation that was recorded contained sensitive medical information about my spouse. The employee who made the recording is upset because a portion of the conversation revolved around their poor work ethic.
 
The employee who made the recording called the boss, who works at a separate location, and told them that they were going to file an HR complaint due to 'toxic workplace' based on the recorded conversation.
 
My spouse then received a phone call from the boss, who said to that they were recorded "dead to rights" and that they needed to "get their head on straight and go make this right." This was the first my spouse was aware the recording had been made.
 
The conversation took place in a control room where all 3 individuals work. It is not a large room with other individuals in and out or within earshot. There are no other employees that work in this room. The employee who recorded was not present and all doors were closed.
My understanding is that NC is a one party state, meaning that at least one party to the conversation needs to consent to being recorded. In this case the person making the recording was not party to the conversation. Neither of the two persons who were recorded were aware they had been recorded until my spouse received the call from the boss.
 
My questions are: What is the legality of the recording? What rights does my spouse have?
 
I am happy to provide any other details or answer any questions. Thanks in advance for any insight.

I think my mom has Se, Ni, and Te.... however, two people on my previous post believed she was xSFJ (but didn’t elaborate why). What do you guys think? Please explain why you think yes or no.
NEED TO BE PRODUCTIVE + BUSY

• Absolutely cannot relax without doing something productive first, even on the weekends.
• Once told my cousin (who worked 5 days a week 7am-5pm) that she should look for part time shifts on the weekend since she has all that free time. I legit thought she was insane for believing that.
• I often don't tell my mom when I have an off day because otherwise she would expect me to still be productive otherwise.

NEED TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF HERSELF

• Always keeps an eye out on how she can self-improve and be better. Be it aesthetically, financially, lifestyle-wise, health-wise, etc. She especially pushes it on to me. This also includes education and career, always pushing me to aim for better positions and get more degrees.
• Her favorite topic is finances. Always wants to know how she can live comfortably now and later. But this also causes her lots of anxiety.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE IN STEAMROLL KIND OF WAY

• She's very quick to help give advice to someone, but it's often unsolicited and also quite forceful. Instead of suggesting it gently, her wording is more like "you should do this, then tell them that, you have to also do this or else it'll cause you trouble." She means well, I just don't think it's appreciated or welcome
• Also does not realize that her advice is unsolicited. Which is ironic because she expects emotional support and sometimes lashes out at me if I just give advice, yet she does the same and doesn't realize.
• Really reminds me of Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec for this trait.

DEFINITELY JUST KNOWS THINGS

• Showed my mom this korean tv show, Fantastic Duo, where several contestants perform together and the artist of the song picks one to sing a duet with. Within legit 5 seconds of it starting, my mom pointed to one contestant and said "seems like she'll get picked" and she was right. I was shocked. I showed her another clip and she also immediately pinpointed the right person.
• When I asked her how she knows, she said she always has been able to know things like this without explanation. According to her, it just comes to her suddenly.

SOMETIMES SEEMS UNSURE WHAT TO THINK

• My mom has strong opinions and beliefs, and often cannot be swayed. A little stubborn. BUT there are times where it seems like she doesn’t have a strong opinion (or one at all), and then if I express leaning one way she will strongly agree with me and take on that belief.
• Not out of insecurity or “just because”, but it feels like she was on the fence with no strong opinion and then once seeing points made that she isn’t against, she will strongly agree and believe in it.

VERY ANXIOUS ABOUT THE FUTURE

• This might be an excessive amount for a function, but she's constantly anxious and she very easily spirals. She'll be fine one moment, then if I bring something up, she'll immediately spiral and won't stop ruminating about it even though I said it's fine and not a big deal.
• Also constantly worries abut making the wrong decision. Even if she made the right decision, she'll sometimes be like "What if we chose the other decision?" The reasoning for this seems to be more that she's considering too many perspectives and cannot decide what the overall right choice is.
• My perspective of her anxiety is that nothing can get her out of the muck. If I give her objective reasoning, it only temporarily relieves it and I can see it. She'll firmly say "yes you're right" with relief, but you can tell she still only says it tentatively compared to her usual self.
• Continuously repeats topics and points over and over within one conversation. Or she'll say ABC, then we move on, then a short bit later we come back to the conversation and she'll repeat ABC even if I provided moral support and logical reasoning to try to relieve her thoughts. Her repetitive points on her pain points go nowhere and is also never solved.

FIERY, AMBITIOUS PERSON

• Always been hot-headed and fiery, both in temper and passion. She has this aggression in her to want to get things done. Very Type A kind of person.
• The kind of person to thrive off of negative feedback so she can be like "I'll fucking show you"
• Constantly comparing herself to others like "oh this person has good traits, I should be like that too" or "this person's trait is bad, I know now to not be like that."
• The kind of person to say "there are no stupid questions" but then you ask one and she'll say "use your fucking head, what a stupid question"

RARELY SEES HERSELF IN THE WRONG, BUT EVENTUALLY SELF-REFLECTS

• Self-explanatory, but she very rarely sees herself as wrong. She is stubborn and will hold steadfast to her opinions and beliefs in the moment. I don't think I've ever heard her apologize, and especially not admit she was wrong in the moment unless there's concrete proof.
• That said, if you give her time to brood about it, she'll come around and admit you have a point. She still won't apologize, but she'll say it in a "I get it, objectively it's right" kind of way.
• E.g., she got PISSED at me a couple years ago for not making a big deal on mother's day. Then some months later, she and I were talking and she said "I even told the friend that we have to be understanding of our own actions. I got mad at Gorgo about not celebrating mother's day once, but then I later realized I can't blame her. We never celebrate holidays and I don't do anything big for her birthday either, so why should I have expected her to celebrate mother's day?"
• It was like an indirect admittance through an irrelevant conversation she had, something she never brought up with me.

CARES TOO MUCH WHAT OTHERS THINK

• Yes to what society thinks, but I mean this mostly with personal relationships. If she has to make a decision that benefits some people and not the others, she worries way too much how the unfavored people in the group will be impacted.
• One time we ordered custom clothing from a store, and we weren't very happy with the end result. The tip amount was up to us, so I stood firm on a certain amount. My mom objectively sided with me, but emotionally wondered if we should give more because even though the result wasn't good, the store owner still went through all that trouble.
• I feel like this goes hand in hand with her anxiety.

USED TO BE SPONTANEOUS AS HELL WHEN YOUNGER

• My mom has all these wild stories of her when she was younger. She'd be traveling across the country with her friends by train, then randomly she'd get off at a stop and be like "okay I'll see you guys back at home! I actually wanna get off here" shocking her friends. And this was pre-cell phone times too. My mom today cannot fathom how she never got kidnapped or something.
• Once, she got tuberculosis and had to be hospitalized for some days. Once she was discharged, she went straight to the salon, got her hair done, and went to the club to dance lol
• Definitely was the leader of her friend group and everyone always relied on her for fun and plans
• She no longer is like this. Could be due to growing up, could also be due to the after effects of depression she had a few years ago. More of a homebody now.

KEEN EYE FOR AESTHETICS

• I've always believed that if my mom led her ideal life, she'd be an interior designer. She has an eye for things, and I don't know how to describe it.
• One time, we were figuring out what to do with this blank spot in my room. We fiddled around for a bit, then she had an idea, went downstairs, hauled up the large ottoman we had and placed it there. Looked great immediately and has been there ever since!
• I don't remember this, but she has told me how everyone would compliment the outfits she'd pick out for me, or the younger girls at work would compliment my mom on her outfits. And genuine compliments, not fake ones, as she says.

MISC.

• Not into fantasy/sci-fi. You will never catch her watching that genre. She likes political movies, action, based on true stories, spicy romance.
• Not into deep talk. Very much talks about strictly relationships/people, productivity/how to be your best self either internally or externally, etc.
• Very spiritual and religious (buddhism).

Will answer any questions you may have. Thank you!!