Funny things to put in about me

So, this is going to be long because context is important. Me and my ex started dating almost 3 years ago and after 2 years and 8 months in the relationship we broke up. During this, we had no problems for over a year and a half and then had some communication issues some of it catalysed by her controlling parents. They were straight up racist after they found out that I was not of the same nationality as them, and without even meeting m, they insinuated to not be in the relationship subliminally or keep her options open.
For context, they are Asian parents who were non-confrontational her whole life and a lot of that showed in her character, She never ever wanted to communicate through a problem, always hung up, always got mad when I brought something up that needed talking about. Her parents are the type to immediately tell her to read the bible if they see her distressed without offering any solace. They don't like when she cried and stuff like that.
I loved her a lot. I went above and beyond for her as per her own confession, no one else had done before. For the first year, I was appreciated for always communicating and just always being straight up with everything. The best way to describe how I was as a bf is that I had boundaries but I respected those same boundaries myself and also I was VERY VERY reassuring of the security of our relationship and I went above and beyond AS MUCH as I could and I really mean that. I was very loving, all I asked was to be reassured as well.
For most of our relationship we were long distance, as we started our relationship in person and I had to go to Uni in another country. I would visit twice a year for a month at a time during which I hung out with her all the time (4-5 times a week). And even in long distance, I structured my schedule and she did as well for the most part to make sure we spent 4 hours + every single day talking and we GENUINELY enjoyed each other's company a lot. For the duration of our relationship we spoke for hours every single day. Chemistry wise, it was undeniable.
Fast forward, So then after my last visit, I noticed she was distant, constantly expressing some sort of negative feelings towards me. I could tell she was distancing and I dealt with that even with support because I asked her why she was feeling a bit distant, she kept saying 'idk' and so I just offered support as she was having exam stress at the time too. To this day I don't know why she distanced. And then finally as she was bringing up stuff that 'she wished could be different' which were all out of my control, I asked her to call it and break up if she valued these things that much, which could be solved all with time, mind you. One was the distance, which weirdly wasn't a problem before and if anything I only had 1 year of uni left. It felt like she was trying to throw reasons like a dart to a wall to see what sticks. And at this point, if we broke up, it would be cordial.
About a month later, we finally broke up while I was back abroad studying, after a fight where she threatened to break up with me and I got sick of her expressing this feeling of not giving a shit about me or us so I said something I shouldn't have and that was it. She called it.
This was all to build up the fact that now she is actively chasing guys 2-3 months later after I regrettably checked her socials (the ones I haven't been blocked on) one way or another I come across it (definitely because I go looking) - Making playlists for a guy subtitled with 'Don't know how else I can make it more obvious' after she blocked me on spotify and this one guy followed her on there. She later changed that playlist name to 'Maybe someday' and then made the playlist private or deleted it. Recently, she tweeted on her public rant page that no one followed other than me when I was with her, after she blocked me on there as well but I had notifs on so I guess it bugged and I could still see it. The tweet read 'I just...want to be appreciated. I JUST WANT TO BE APPRECIATED!!!! I'm so hilarious, why doesn't anyone wanna date me'. She has also never been single for more than 8 months or so since she started dating, has had two exes before me.
Bottomline is, if she came back I would NEVER get back with her. I feel disgusted that I dated a girl like her. I feel like I was lied to about who I was dating - a funny, loving, religious god-fearing woman who had her priorities straight. I feel very very confused that she's like this now and so soon. We did everything together even after our distance, she wouldn't even be able to go to sleep without me being there for her. And now, she pretends I never existed. I know it's normal for her to pretend that I don't exist now, but to pretend I NEVER existed and we never went through what we did? That blows my mind. I know I have to accept it. How do I deal with not having the self control to keep checking some of her socials and stuff or How do I build self control. Like just how do I go about this breakup because another massive detail is that I am studying abroad in a place where it is genuinely impossible to make good quality friends (Berlin, no hate just that the people here are not my type of people) so I am alone with my thoughts a lot. I am trying to get close to God but I keep thinking about all of the stuff that has happened. I don't have the friends back home that would help me just distract myself. And I don't think dating or talking to girls is the answer either? I have hobbies but that doesn't help much I guess. How do I stop thinking about her and deal with this?

I have generalised anxiety disorder, chronic migraines, and a rib condition. All of this has been looked over by my GP, who has said that these qualify as disabilities, I'm on medication for all of them, and I'm unable to drive because the migraines cause random blindness and other visual hallucinations without any warning. I spend about a third of the average month severely debilitated by my conditions, and moderately debilitated the rest of the month.
I got my PIP decision letter back and it's a 0 on everything. Not one single point. In the explanation of the decision the person who decided acknowledges my anxiety, my migraines, my rib thing, but says that because I am a student (and I am able to function in this respect EG being on track with targets) and able to get the train to uni, and because I have not been hospitalised or received any specialist mental health help (I have been on an NHS waiting list for almost three years), nor have I received any specialist input RE the physical effects of my conditions (asked GP for a proper consult at local hospital and GP said there was no point), the assessor does not feel any of my three disabilities actually disable me enough to put me on PIP, or give me even a single point on their scale.
I know I have a mandatory reconsideration, but is it even worth asking to reconsider when I have 0 points? Am I able to reapply and start fresh once I've had my treatment, whenever that is?

We suspect there are 2-3 particular nurses at the NICU ward that are purposely repeatedly putting our child on very strong pain medication in an effort to prevent him from coming home. Yesterday his team of 20 told us he’s healthy, strong, and ready to come, and we haven’t been so happy in a very long time. We have been in there 10-12 hours and haven’t missed any days since birth. This is day 35. I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt and let the medical professionals do their job. However, after some disturbing comments from a few of the nurses, I have suspicions there is some kind of personal feelings and judgement involved, and this is the way they are trying to prevent my son from coming home with us. I didn’t think this would be possible and kept assuming I was being paranoid, but after some very disturbing comments from a couple of the same older nurses, some threatening off putting comments, I’m beginning to think my trust may have been misplaced and not everyone has my baby’s best interests at heart, and that they are intentionally repeatedly restarting him on harsh pain medication in an effort to keep him from coming home for longer. 20 of his medical team just told us he comes home. 2 days. Then I was told because my family didn’t come to a child Cps training I wouldn’t be allowed to take my child home. However when inside the training, the instructor informed us it was entirely voluntary and it is not required in any way. This among some other disturbing comments and being humiliated in front of a large room of medical personell by the same person, I literally was so humiliated I teared up in front of a huge room of his team. She kept asking where my family was and why they weren’t here and despite me repeatedly trying to express it was a sensitive topic and I would rather not discuss, she pressed me in front of everyone to where I had to leave to cry. I am a grown man. I want to know if this is just a personal thing she has against us or if this is something that she has been doing to other parents. I have never been so humiliated and she continues to lie about his condition and how he is day to day, because we have never seen him in these “horrible withdrawal fits” that she apparently only has during her shift despite every other nurse saying he has been improving drastically every day. I know that withdrawal doesn’t show during one shift and completely disappear when the parents show up. Something is wrong and I am becoming really worried that his best interests are not being protected and he is not being spoke up for. The last straw was after a horrible time getting off of morphene as a newborn, she said he was “inconsolable” and restarted him on morphene after he just spent weeks miserable slowly coming off of it. No one called us. I live so close I would have been there in minutes. But when I get there she tells me how inconsolable and horrible his day has been, but when we get there he is smiling and completely fine? It seems there’s only a select couple of the nurses that consistently keep seeing these “symptoms”, but they seem to miraculously disappear at night when mom and dad come (10-12 hours every day). After visiting for 10 hours we were asked to come earlier and stay for longer. As if we aren’t human and aren’t allowed to have jobs. Not to mention as if we haven’t spent 10 hours per day for 35 plus days praying and holding him to help him get through this. I hope no one ever has to go through this and I want to know if this is something just against us personally or if this woman is known for doing this and has done this to other families. The last straw was she yelled at his mother and grandmother for “being late” to a visitation? As if we work for her? And then informed us that he has been started over on his morphene for the THIRD time. I have lost trust and decided I’m not leaving anymore. Dad is camping out because every time I go home to rest for a few hours, I come back to some kind of problem, yet we receive no calls to come help despite being 7 minutes away and begging them to call us if he is having trouble. No one has ever called. But the same people keep starting him over and I can’t keep watching Him go through this. They are hurting him and it’s becoming clear that I can’t trust these people to take care of him. They seem to not have the time and think drugging him to sleep through the day is the way they are supposed to be doing their jobs. Does this sound familiar to anyone. This is my first child and I can’t even sleep anymore I have made myself sick and I decided I’m just not going to leave anymore because I can’t trust his nurses anymore to be honest about how he is doing, and it seems like they want to keep prolonging this despite him being perfectly healthy and normal at this point. Has anyone had this happen or does this sound familiar to anyone? What do I do. Dad can’t take much more and I can’t continue to watch my perfectly healthy son go through this over and over again for absolutely no reason, just because someone decides that they know him better than we do. I don’t know who to trust anymore and I decided I’m going to bring a blanket and just not leave his side until he gets released, because when I am there he has never shown these “symptoms” and seems completely fine when his parents are present. Someone please help or reach out to me if you have had a similar experience. I want to know if this is a personal problem someone has with us for some reason, or if this is something this woman has been doing to other families and is getting away with it because new parents are scared and trust their health professionals to be truthful about needs. My son doesn’t have a voice so it’s my job to speak for him. Please someone help me I can’t take much more i don’t sleep anymore and I’m making myself sick with worry. Where do I turn who can I talk to? I will be getting all of his paperwork and examining exactly what has been going on tomorow. But I need your help Reddit. LANDSDOWN HOSPITAL NICU. PARENTS PLEASE REACH OUT. Any support/comments are welcome and anonymous I just can’t give up but am not sure who to trust or where I turn. I just know something isn’t right and this is fishy. Someone is lying. And I suspect it’s to make the day easier because drugged babys don’t cry…. PLEASE HELP REDDIT.
-nova parents in desperate need of help and tips. Any suggestions I thank you all in advance. I promise, this is not something imagined. I wouldn’t have believed it myself until she started making disturbing comments to me too and acting as if I’m late to a shift ? WE ARE PARENTS VISITING?! WTF!!? As if being there for 10-12 hours per day isn’t good enough because it’s at night time. I am sick over this and I don’t know where else to turn. Plz help Reddit. Your friends in need. I know this sounds unbelievable, but when I was told he’s back on morphene for the third time after going through this for over 30 days , I know something is terribly wrong and someone is either lying, or thinks we aren’t fit to take him home despite continually showing up for 10+ hours every day and doing everything they ask. Any responses are welcome we need help. Thank you for reading.
New nova parents.

im an 18 year old highschool graduate, i want to pick a major, i HAVE to pick a major, there’s no way i’ll make it in life without one.
i wasnt the best at math and physics right off the bat, i mean it’s not really that i’m stupid, i just never cared enough in highschool to ever really push myself to learn, if i put my mind to it could i excel in math and physics? yes, but i feel like im doomed because i havent focused in 10th to 12th grade in these subjects, its not that i tried and failed, its that i never tried, so i feel like any major with a lot of math and physics might be hard on me considering i dont have the basic knowledge for it.
so any kind of engineering i dont think i’ll do good in.
i have a huge interest in anatomy, so medicine would be a good choice but medicine also has math in it, and it’s too expensive for me to afford in any of the unis here anyway. but anatomy in general, anything to do with a human body, i always tend to learn on my own, reading the latest literature about human physiology and nutrition aswell, forgot to say nutrition is a big thing for me aswell.
dentistry seems nice, except it’s also expensive and i get bummed out by people here saying it’s almost impossible for a dentist to start working. and i also thought of business, until people started saying it’s impossible to work in that field too, psychology? also “impossible” because “everyone is doing it” and i think i’d do well in psychology.
so please help me, what the fuck do i do? im an 18 year old who’s had no guidance from his parents his whole life, lived in the middle of nowhere and never met a lot of people, im really just figuring out how the world works and it overwhelms me.

I’m in a bit of a bind and could really use some advice. Recently, I secretly joined an EMT school, and I’m loving it. The course runs on weekends—8 hours on Saturdays and 9 hours on Sundays. My goal isn’t to make a career out of being an EMT, but to get certified so I have more job options once I graduate college. The problem is, I’m terrified of my parents, especially my dad, finding out.
Here’s the background: My dad can be very imposing and always tries to impose his opinions on me. We’ve had several family psychologists and psychiatrists tell him he’s in the wrong for the way he treats us, but it doesn’t change anything. Typical narcissist behavior. I knew I wouldn’t be able to find a course that didn’t conflict with my time at home, so I’m running the risk of being asked where I’m going.
Lying isn’t an option for me because if they get suspicious, they will investigate and find out, which would make things infinitely worse. Here are the reasons why I’m so scared of telling them:
Reason 1: My dad grew up poor and worked his way up to financial success. Anything he considers “lower class,” he immediately puts down. For example, my little brother started fixing iPhone screens in high school, and my dad chastised him, calling it a “poor people job.”
Reason 2: My dad takes it personally if I don’t come home for lunch. He sees it as a personal slight, even when I have classes or am hanging out with friends. Recently, he told my other little brother how sad he gets when I don’t come home for lunch, making it all about him.
Reason 3: If you strongly disagree with him, he applies the silent treatment. He once stopped talking to my sister for 6 months over a fight about her boyfriend. He also cut off my little brother (the one who fixed phones) from money, gas, and family outings because he took a gap semester to focus on his business.
I’m terrified of becoming the black sheep of the family. I’ve battled depression before, and I’m scared of falling back into that dark place if my dad reacts badly. If he finds out I’m missing lunch for EMT school, he’ll take it personally, think it’s beneath me, try to force me out of it, and, if I refuse, stop talking to me and cut me off financially and emotionally.
I feel stuck and don’t know what to do. How can I approach this situation without causing a major family conflict or jeopardizing my mental health? Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.

My boyfriend (52) and I (38) have been together for almost a year and I moved into his house right away. His son has lived in the basement apartment with his 2 sons, ages 3 and 5, for several years. The kids are at the house generally 4 days a week, and we can constantly hear them screaming, crying, banging and slamming things, and their father yelling and swearing at them. They are supposed to move out at the end of the month and time will tell whether that actually happens on time or not, but we have both been looking forward to it.
Several days ago some of my things were nearly destroyed because the kids moved them around, and my boyfriend showed me the message where he told his son not to let his kids touch our belongings, once again. I was livid but tried to let itgo. Today I woke up in a panic to a strong smell of burning plastic. I immediately ran around the house trying to see where it was coming from, and leaned down to smell it coming from the floor vents. I texted my boyfriend and he said that his son told him one of the kids put plastic in the microwave while he was doing laundry. Not long after, I was cleaning up the house and went into the garage to find a brand new can of spray paint that we had bought last week laying on the floor with the cap and tip missing. My boyfriend texted his son about it and he claimed that the kids had not been out in two days, but I know that can was not on the floor when I went out last night.
I lost it. Not only had his son been told multiple times over the last few moths to stop allowing his children to touch things that aren't theirs, I feel like having them there is at the point of being dangerous. When they are outside the kids are not supervised because their father is always on his phone while they dig up the grass, break branches off of the lilac, and play with things that aren't theirs. I have often heard him yelling at them downstairs to tell him where all of the water came from, where did one of them poop, and other signs of them not being supervised. I have even heard the younger boy alone downstairs while his father was taking the older one to school a few blocks away, several times. I told my boyfriend that I think the children should not be allowed to stay in the house anymore, since they aren't watched enough and can't be trusted not to do something that could burn the house down. He replied that it's only for another two weeks, that's still his son and he won't kick his grandchildren out. I feel like it has been proven time and time again over the last year that his son will not do anything to discipline or try to control his children, so things will only continue to get worse and that "accident" today could have ended up terribly.
AITA for saying that the grandchildren should not be allowed to return to the house, for the safety of our home and my sanity?

It candidly sucked being surrounded by constant reminders that you’d lost the genetic lottery. Sure, it was easier than some people thought to get around the world without powers; it wasn’t like the government expected everyone to be a speedster or to be able to fly. Hell, a hundred years ago, nobody even had powers. The infrastructure was there. Life went on.
That said, staying cheery about the hand I’d been dealt was difficult. Enhanced perception was useful for a lot of things, from party tricks to always reading the fine print, but next to flight? Next to teleportation?
I’d gotten hung up on movement powers because I’d taken the bus to the bar, and the only superpower buses had was being late.
I was specifically at the bar for the sake of a blind date set up by my best friend; Todd was about two times my size and could throw a car across the street. His powers did nothing to help me with his current obsession with my dating life, but here we were. I supposed it was a fair obsession. I hadn’t been trying.
It honestly made sense that Todd had been keenly aware of romance since he’d met his soul mate. See, a strange thing with powers was that when you were around your soulmate, they were inexplicably stronger. Todd had met Soo-jung when she’d been on vacation in Crescent three years ago. They’d been inseparable since, and he’d been able to throw a car down three blocks instead of across the street.
Or so he claimed. Nobody was eager to volunteer their car for a demonstration, or anything else heavy and expensive, for that matter.
For my part, I hadn’t spent a lot of time guessing what would happen if I met my soulmate. It was a common train of thought for some, but I never found that it stopped at any fun stations. Instead, I indulged Todd’s meddling because he was my friend and bad dates at least made good stories.
“Gimme a sec, I’ll grab us another round,” Todd announced as he pushed out from our table. “Emma said she’s going to be here soon.”
“You bought the last one.”
“Yeah, now you can buy two in a row once Emma gets here and look generous. Think about it, man.”
“Sure,” I answered, but Todd was already walking away from the table and toward the bar.
Soo-jung leaned in. “You know he’s trying, right?”
“I know, maybe a little too much.”
“You don’t hear the half of it.”
“Oh, good.”
“I had to tell him to calm down when it came to buttering you up to Emma,” Soo-jung explained as she took a sip from her drink. “Sometimes I wonder about him.”
“I’m surprised he says anything nice about me.”
“He’d never say it to your face.” She watched Todd at the bar instead of looking at me during our conversation.
“Does that mean you’ll do it for him?”
“He trusts me to keep his secrets.”
“How about I suggest things and read your reaction?” I asked.
Soo-jung frowned in response before she pointedly rolled her eyes. She knew that reading reactions was one of my party tricks. If you couldn’t be powerful, you could at least read a room.
“Okay, fine. What do you know about Emma?”
“Her last name’s Tavish.”
“That’s it?”
“She works with Todd.”
“I knew that. He kept telling me she was a co-worker.”
“Todd thinks she’s cute.”
“He told you that?”
“No, but he has high standards for you.”
“That’s all the detail you have?”
“Todd’s not allowed to talk about work at hom- Hey, honey.”
Todd was back at the table holding all three pints in one arm; he passed one to each of us despite Soo being less than halfway finished with her current drink. Once he’d finished distributing, he turned to Soo-jung and asked her a question in broken Korean.
He’d been trying to learn, and he was still struggling. Not that I knew the language.
“Yes,” Soo-jung responded in English, “we were talking about Emma; no Korean around Toby. It’s rude.”
“I thought you wanted me to practice?”
“You can practice at home.”
“So we were talking about Emma,” Todd jumped back to the previous topic instead of discussing his inconsistent study of Korean. “Awesome woman, perfect for you, man.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“Oh, she sucks too.”
“Ah, thanks.”
“He means powers-wise,” Soo-jung stepped in.
“So you do know something about her,” I pointed out.
“Something? I’ve been telling Soo everything since we got in the car to come here.” Just as Todd finished, he flinched. Soo had kicked him under the table. “But it wasn’t much, really.”
“What do I get to know?”
“I don’t want to taint your expectations.” He pushed his empty glass away, swapping it with the new one. “But can I be serious for a second?”
I considered it. “Sure.”
“She’s like my boss’, boss’ boss. So best behavior.”
“Wait. Seriously?” I leaned in. Todd worked for the CPRU, which meant that she had to be a heavy hitter if she was high ranked in the city’s power regulation department. “She’s—”
“Not quite.” He backpedaled. “We share a building. She’s straight DPR.”
I blinked twice at that. “Way to set me up to fail.”
“You should believe in yourself,” Soo cut in.
“Todd I w—”
“And she’s here.” Todd had turned his attention away from me and toward his phone. “Hope you’re ready to meet your soulmate.”
“Honey, don’t set that expectation.”
The bar’s front door opened, and I was the only one who could hear it over the atmosphere. I glanced over, and there she was.
She was stunning by any definition, but especially mine. Maybe it was a strange way to describe someone, but she looked beautifully meticulous, from brunette hair to olive skin, to her light blue jacket; everything was in place, and everything about her was gorgeous. Assuming that was Emma, I owed Todd big time.
“Okay, that can’t be her, right?” I asked Todd. After a second, without a response, I checked to see if he was waving at her, but he was stock still, a stupid grin plastered over his face. “Todd?”
Holy shit. The DPR had some crazy people on their roster, but this- I waved a hand in front of Todd’s face and snapped my fingers, then caught the sound of a single cautious heel clicking against the floor.
I stood up from the table and looked back at the door. She’d taken one step into the bar but had gotten caught in the same shock I had. “Emma?” I asked.
She snapped her attention to me -god, her eyes were- but she just looked confused.
“Toby,” I explained, “I’m Todd’s friend.” I motioned over to Todd’s still body and took the first steps to say hello. “This is really impressive. I didn’t think this was possible. It’s cool to meet someone wh—”
“I’m not doing this,” she said. “This is impossible. How are yo—”
“Trust me, this isn’t in my…” We stared at each other for a moment. Somehow, time stopped more than it already was.
“Holy shit.” We both said it at once.
“So this isn’t you?” she asked. Her eyes were still meandering around the frozen bar instead of staying in the conversation with me.
“No, it’s not,” I walked along her gaze and ended up against the bar counter, “did Todd tell you what my power was?”
“He just told me you wouldn’t mind having me around,” Emma answered, which somehow just brought up more questions.
“Enhanced perception,” I grabbed a drink off of the bar to see if I could; As soon as I touched it, it seemed to animate back to life. “What do you mean, ‘mind having you around’?”
“I dampen powers,” she explained, a little quieter than anything else she’d said, “make them weaker, hard to use. The technical definition is long and wordy so…” She sighed as she watched me slosh the beer around. “It’s a lot of trouble, really.”
“Probably good for work,” I offered.
“Pretty much the whole reason I have my job, but Callum wouldn’t admit that.” She approached, but there wasn’t an open seat near where I was standing, nor could we ask for someone to move. “Callum is—”
“Callum Rehsman, head of the D.P.R for the past six years,” I stepped in, “sorry, comes with the perception thing.”
“Honestly, I’m just glad I don’t have to explain it,” Emma took to leaning against the bar instead of walking over to a seat. She undid the top button of her shirt, which was probably too high for a date, anyway. “Emma Terish. Ring any bells up there?”
“No.”
“And you’re?”
“Toby Vander,” I put down the beer to offer my hand, and it froze as soon as I let go. We both paid attention to that instead of the potential formal hello.
“So this isn’t you.” Emma reached for the glass and picked it up; once she did, it animated just like it had with me. “And it isn’t me…”
I swallowed nothing. We’d both said holy shit for a reason, but it felt impossible to admit it. Wasn’t there supposed to be a — Well, something? Anything?
Then again, we were stopping time, and what else could you ask for?
“Do you want a drink, Toby?” Emma asked. She vaulted herself over the bar with a frankly shocking amount of grace for someone in a pantsuit.
“Uh, sure.”
“I’d ask what you were drinking, but we might have limited options,” she was considering her new vantage point from behind the counter.
I took the opportunity to grab the drink I’d left behind on the table. “I’ll use the one I had.” I tapped Todd’s hand for posterity, and nothing happened to him. “Any idea what this might—”
“No idea,” she answered without letting me finish, “but my job involves dealing with unknown powers, so…” She tried to use the soda-gun and swore when it didn’t work. “You learn to roll with it until people cooperate.”
“You still think I’m doing this?”
“I know it’s not me, and there aren’t many options here with us,” she said as she ducked behind the bar and came back up with a lemonade cooler, “but I came here for a date, and I plan to have one. Been a long week.”
I returned to the bar, finding a seat now that she was on the other side. “I just need to establish that this isn’t me. I’m not trying to—”
“If it isn’t you and it’s not me stopping time around us, then someone is giving us a very private venue for our first date.”
“Isn’t that nice?”
“It really is.” She took a sip of her drink, then pulled it away before she had time to swallow. “Shit. Do you have cash?”
“I’ll cover you.” She frowned at that; clearly she wasn’t satisfied with someone else paying for everything. “Plus, you’re serving me tonight. So…” That seemed to be enough plausible deniability to satisfy her. “Cheers?”
“Cheers.”
Throughout drink one, we were casting nervous glances around the paused bar; by drink five, we were laughing, just the two of us. Hours dripped by with the free beer… or they didn’t… It was hard to tell.
Emma added her sixth can to her pyramid and composed herself. “Okay, okay, okay. One second.” She took a deep breath. “This has been so much fun, but I told Todd I’d tell him when I got here so” — she needed another second to find her verbal footing — “can you stop this now?”
“Stop what?” I was halfway through a sip.
“This is the coolest power I’ve seen but—”
“It’s not me, I promise,” my insistence ended up sounding more like a drunk debate. The drunk part was accurate.
“So your power really is enhanced perception.”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Okay. You’re not lying.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because that’s lame and—” She stopped herself. “Shit, sorry.”
“I am so used to it.”
“You wouldn’t say that drunk if you could stop time is my point,” she almost ducked down to grab another drink but thought better of it. “So, that makes us…”
We’d reached this impasse several times in the last hours. I scanned her. The lines on her face. The size of her irises. She was worried. Apprehensive.
So I said it first.
“We’re soul mates.”
She looked down and to the left, considering instead of answering.
“Why else would one of us display a power we’d never seen before? Unless you’re right and someone was stopping time for everyone but me and—”
“And the woman who’s immune to powers,” she cut in. “Maybe we are soul mates, but turn it off.”
“It’s not—”
“Toby, please.”
“I don’t—” I stopped short and instead tried even though I didn’t know how. My perception was passive. I didn’t get to choose whether I used it. Was there supposed to be a switch somewhere inside my head? Was I—
How long had it been at this point? Six, seven hours? We’d planned to meet pretty late and it would almost be light out by now. She was right. We had to get—
“I don’t know how,” I admitted, “if it’s me.”
Emma opened her mouth to say something, then reconsidered. Her perfectly manicured nails were digging into the vinyl of the bar top.
“Okay. It’s been lovely, but if you getting here started this then,” I said as I stood up, “maybe I just need to leave, and that will turn it off so we can figure out what’s going on.” I took the first steps toward the door.
“That’s a good plan,” she nodded along with what she was saying, like she was convincing herself, “I’ll reach out to you. It was an excellent date.”
“Let Todd know for me,” I added as I reached the door; a second later, I stepped into the chilled early-fall air. The door didn’t shut behind me, so I kept walking until I would have been out of eyesight.
Then I stopped.
Should I have turned around? What were the chances that she was my soul mate? What was I leaving behind if I didn’t see her again? It was a dumb thought, but the idea of walking away started gnawing at me.
But what choice did I have? In front of me, a couple was frozen in the middle of a quiet conversation on the way to the bar. Soul mates only affected one another when they were close by. I took a few more steps and started to sprint.
I was three blocks away when the world stuttered around me. My vision blurred, and the moonlight was shattered by the sun. I stumbled, almost crashing into a woman dressed like she was on her way to brunch.
Shit. I’d left my jacket at the bar, but—
I checked my watch; 8:06 AM.
​
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I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position.** EDIT to add that when I say Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have about 1 day until getting kicked out of the hotel. I also didn't need a visa to get here, though I will be getting one for my graduate program in September, but this current program was less than a month long so it was counted as group tourism basically.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for the TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any life advice? Or know any cheap hostels or something? Or even just some moral support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave early or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies.
Sidenote: The professor also said a lot of things insinuating that, because she didn't like me, neither would any of my professors in my grad school program will, and as much as I think she said it in a vindictive way, I will admit it has me second guessing if I want to actually pursue that in September. After all this I just feel like running from academia in general.

Just want to say upfront that I like dark fics - I have enjoyed some truly astonishingly dead doves in my day - and this is not to do with any sensitivity around noncon/dubcon elements. (Also apologies for the ramble ahead, I am not a terribly succinct creature at the best of times!)
I started the fic in question earlier this week, and was absorbed for a while. I enjoyed the premise, and the slow-reveal of adult Draco’s deception was so interesting - especially with Hermione’s conflict around missing the "kind husband" version of him she remembers, even if it was a lie. However, I hit a pretty hard wall around the 38% mark when suddenly ~25 y/o Hermione was sent back in time and consequently had sex with ~16 y/o Draco.
The internal logic of the fic definitely tried to justify this because of time travel and soul bonds, etc, but it didn’t seem like it was framed within the narrative as problematic enough. Like, I can read most dark, upsetting material, as long as I’m confident that the narrative is aware of what it’s doing in that respect. But the scene between adult Hermione and child Draco was framed and written more like classic smut, like it was meant to be tantalising. The various occurrences of noncon/dubcon earlier on were framed differently, even if at times Hermione is conflicted about what she experiences because of the bond.
Also ftr I don’t generally have this problem with age differences in fics, especially dark ones, when it’s clear that the writer is aware of the implications. But I don’t want to read smut involving children. The fic is tagged as "age difference" but it fails to mention that one of those people is underage. Basically felt like this was an unlabelled dead dove because of (what I perceived as) the fic trying to justify sex between an adult and child, with the adult in question being our POV character and protagonist.
Anyway, I would really appreciate anybody who got furthefinished this fic telling me how this all plays out. Does the framing change? Am I missing some crucial detail? Please feel free to spoil the entire thing, this has been eating away at me since putting it down!

Dianne Young, casting director, is a guest host.
​

• During season 1, the initial order was for 12 episodes. No one thought they would actually make it to 12 episodes.

​
David Gail interview:
​

• He is joining from France.
• He thinks his bellhop role is in season 2. When corrected that it’s season 1, he says “excuse-moi” (in his French accent).
• Young cast him because he was nice and easy on the set.
• His son is also on the video. His son’s name is Gautier. His son makes a bunch of funny faces and hand signs throughout the interview.
• His agent would tell him you don’t need to meet the casting director, for auditions in general. Gail wanted to meet them anyways, because he wanted to meet as many people as possible.
• The original season 1 pilot was 2 hours. Rosin passed. It was eventually trimmed to 90 minutes, and about 30 minutes of music videos were cut. Aaron Spelling then wanted to meet him, after the pilot was trimmed. Rosin took the meeting.
• Aaron Spelling did not want to have a season in college. There was a lot of anxiety about the format changing after high school.
• The first two to three episodes of Melrose Place got a higher rating than Beverly Hills, 90210. They convinced the president of FOX, Lucie Salhany,
• Gautier has now taken out a puppet. The entire podcast starts laughing, except for Gail, who doesn’t know what’s happening behind him.
• Rosin then promises FOX that they’re going to have Brenda elope, and that will be the number 1 show that week.
• There was a lot of pressure at this time.
• Young kept waiting for more details about the elopement plot line to emerge.
• No one knew that Doherty was going to be leaving at the end of the season.
• Gail was unaware about any issues Doherty might have been having with the management company.
• Gail had no idea how big this plot was going to be.
• Aaron Spelling gave Gail a kiss and hug after his audition.
• Young does not remember other people that auditioned for this role.
• Mollin says Paul Waigner and Jessica Klein also had a big part in casting Gail.
• Rosin says sometimes during auditions, people talk their way out of a role. They get nervous and talk too much.
• Rosin tells a story of how he once met an actor. Rosin told him he liked this movie he was in. The actor then spent 5 minutes telling Rosin why the movie sucked. This was an example of an actor talking his way out of a future role.
• When Gail came in season 1, he read for a recurring role. They didn’t want him because he was too green. They then offered him the bellhop role.
• During season 4, when Gail was offered the role of Stuart, he asked how they could bring him back as a different character.
• Rosin said at the time, he didn’t think people were watching the show that closely. He didn’t know that there would be dedicated fans like there are today.
• Rosin and Young wanted Gail because everyone had liked Gail from before. Young says she had known him from before, and trusted him.
• Young had reminded Rosin of what Gail had done before, in season 1.
• When Gail went into the Spelling office for this season 4 audition, and saw all of the producers lined up, he was intimidated. Gail had to use psychological tricks like telling himself to breathe. Don’t start when they start, but start when you want to start. Wait until you are in that character.
• Gail cannot walk into an audition and just start being in character. He has to be David Gail first. Meaning he has to say hi to everyone as David Gail first. Then he can get in character.
• Rosin says one of Aaron Spelling’s biggest strengths was casting.
• The first time Rosin heard Aaron Spelling say that his strength was casting, Rosin thought that was BS. But, overtime, Rosin agreed that Aaron Spelling was that good.
• Aaron Spelling knew Julia Roberts was going to be a star, when he saw her in Mystic Pizza.
• David Gail’s son somehow appears on screen, upside down, from the top of the camera. Gail has to shoo his son away again.
• During season 2, Doherty had a boyfriend in Chicago named Chris Lupus. He was wealthy. So Rosin created a character that reminded him of that boyfriend, in Stuart.
• Gail says the plot was fun.
• Gail likes how Stuart was spoiled and possibly dealing drugs. He said it’s more fun to play a character like that.
• Both actors that played Stuart’s parents (Peter Mark Richman, Claudette Nevins) have passed away.
• Mollin likes the dynamic of how Stuart’s dad thought Stuart was a loser, and Brenda was making him a winner.
• Gino Conforti, from Three’s Company, was the mechanic in “Strangers In The Night”.
• Both Richman and Conforti were on Three’s Company.

​

• Jessica Klein created Jesse Vasquez. That was the name of her college boyfriend.
• Young went through a lot of resumes with pictures for this character. She had put Mark Damon Espinoza aside. After a few days, she kept going back to his picture. He didn’t have a lot of credits. She wanted to meet him.
• He was so easy to talk to. He was friendly. He was from Texas.
• He had a good theater background.
• Mollin didn’t like the casting at first. He’s grown to love Espinoza. Mollin says the character worked.
• Mollin: A baby is a show killer.
• Young: All of the cast has an opportunity to give input on casting. Carteris didn’t say things about whether a potential picture on a resume was terrific.
• Rosin and Mollin now think Espinoza was pitch perfect in all of his scenes. Even the ones with Ian Ziering in season 5.
• Rosin: He’s a good friend of this podcast.

​

• As soon as Young saw Kathleen Robertson, Young knew she had to pay close attention.
• She was easy to work with. She wasn’t nervous.
• Robertson had a unique hat. Mollin and Rosin noticed it. They used that same hat in her character’s intro scene.
• Lou Patrick negotiated Robertson’s contract. (A woman).
• Aaron Spelling had accidentally sent out a cast renewal to Shannen Doherty. Lou Patrick saw that and alerted Rosin. It had already been decided by this point that Doherty wasn’t coming back. They were able to stop that from getting to Doherty.
• Young had hired Nicholas Pryor before on another show. He was professional.
• Young: Christine Belford (Samantha Sanders), Pryor’s wife, was a good actress.
• Kelly McDonald, Young’s assistant, met with actors for D’Shawn Hardell. She was the one that recommended Cress Williams to Young. He was very new.
• Rosin and Mollin liked him.
• Unlike Tico Wells from season 1 (whom Rosin beat in basketball), Cress Williams could not play basketball.
• Young had known Dina Meyer (Lucinda) from before. She had always liked Meyer.
• There wasn’t an audition. Tony Shepherd just told Rosin that Dina Meyer would play the part.
• Barry Bonds and Dina Meyer are the only actors that Tony Shepherd told Rosin who to pick. There wasn’t an audition.
• Young loved Scott Paulin (Professor Randall). She had known his credits.
• Young doesn’t remember too much from Tracy Middendorf’s (Laura Kingman) audition.
• Young: Noley Thornton (Erica) was wonderful. She had seen her from “The Martin Short Show”.
• They had to make a lot of arrangements to get her from one set to another, because she was on both shows. But child actors have some limitations.
• One time, they were praying Thornton would be able to make it, because The Martin Short Show was running long.
• Kerrie Keane (Suzanne) didn’t know that there was going to be a scam.
• When Jessica Klein pitched the scam story to Aaron Spelling, Spelling thought the audience would know right away. He didn’t think the scam would work. Rosin had to promise that no one would see it coming, by the end.
• Rosin likes how he can talk to actors that come on the podcast now, because he was never able to do it when the show was being made. Jason Carter (Roy Randolph) is one such example.
• Young says there were a lot of British actors, at the time, because there was a lot of work in Los Angeles. And they were paid more here, then in British Television.
• Young had met Paul Johannson (John Sears) before.
• He was one of Jason Priestley’s friends.
• David Sherrill (Jack Canner) was another one of Priestley’s friends.
• Young would tell Priestley why one of his friends would or would not get the role.
• Young loves Brook Theiss (Leslie Sumner). She had met Theiss on Growing Pains, and Just The Ten Of Us. She was such a joh to be around. Young also introduced Theiss’ husband to her.
• Young likes Theiss so much, that she would cast her for something right now if she could.
• Young does not remember Kari Wuhrer (Ariel Hunter).
• Young remembers Matthew Perreta (Dan Rubin) a little.
• Young does not remember the Minnesota girls.
• Young loves Jed Allen (Rush Sanders). His acting was similar to Ian Ziering’s. She saw it right away that he was Steve Sander’s dad.
• Ryan Thomas Brown (Muntz) was easy to work with.
• Young had known Zachary Throne (Howard) from before.

i’ll keep it brief!! just wanna know if anyone could figure out or know what could be causing the pain. i had a procedure done about 6 years ago called “calcaneo-stop” which is to treat flexible flat-foot. it involves putting two screws into the feet, 1 each, to retain their arch. you’re supposed to remove the screws usually after about 4 years, but bcuz the country i had it in is an awful state, i can’t visit to have the removal procedure done. so i’m 2 years late. i’ll be going to another country where the procedure is done so i can get them removed!
the real question: i have virtually no pain in my right foot and its ok. everytime i move my LEFT foot however as in rotating or tilting the foot itself, i feel EXTREMELY awful pain in my ankle, super sharp and it almost feels like my foot is cracking. It’s extremely brief, maybe a second long, but it has caused me to collapse on several occasions. What could this be? my theory is the screw itself is actually moving around and maybe came loose. Which is kinda terrifying to think about. Would love to hear ur guys’ opinions, thank you! (I’ll try to get these things out asap)

The first dream I can remember was two years ago when my neighbor died (he was family friend) I dreamed about seeing him while I was walking home, I knew he was dead and I was a bit scared of seeing him. He stopped me and said to me say hi to your parents from me, I said okay I will and ran home because I was scared. It bothered me for a few days and then my mom told me she had a weird dream, she described everything that happened in my dream and then I told her that we had the same dream.
I also dreamed about my grandpa's funeral a month before he actually passed, in that dream I was holding my spirit baby (a baby that hasn't been born yet but I know he's my son and we have a strong connection for years now).
A few days after my grandpa passed I dreamed about being in some house with my family and him (he was dead and laying in a casket). Suddenly he came back to life and talked to me asking me to find someone, he even said his name. In the dream I didn't know who he was asking for but when I woke up it clicked. He said my spirit baby's name but somehow in the dream I didn't realize it.
That same night I dreamed about my aunt who also passed, actually her grave, it was following me around, whenever I looked it was there, it freaked me out to be honest.
Fast forward to today, I had a scary dream in which I was sitting in my bedroom with a friend of mine while my mom was in the living room talking to my aunt, I was weirded out and told my friend something in the lines of this can't be happening my aunt is dead how is she here? I went to check out what's happening and my aunt was there but it wasn't her actual body it was a different one but I knew it was her, she had the same voice and everything. She asked to leave and I opened my door and let her out. She told me she'll be back later in the evening. I asked my mom what happened how is she here and she answered me saying: I don't know. She just called me on the phone and asked to come over. The first thing that came to my mind is to get salt and put a line in front of every window and the front door (I don't know if that's a real thing, I saw it in a tv show a couple of years ago I think I've read somewhere that salt keeps the spirits away). I missed one window and she started knocking on it and asking me why don't I want to let her in, suddenly a lot of spirits appeared (I don't know them) and backed me into a corner. I begged them to let me go and threw salt on them but it wasn't working. I told them that I'm pregnant (I'm not) and they left.
It was a really vivid dream and I don't what any of these mean. Could it be possible that I'm somehow channeling them? The thing is my mom also has similar dreams but the catch is she dreams of her mom before something bad happens and my grandma tells her everything will be okay.

I have been trying to buy my little brother a copy of minecraft for over 2 hours now. I am a tech savvy person and its really not like I dont know how this stuff works, but the thing is ive been trying to be completely above board with microsoft, mojang, and xbox this entire time and I just wish I was not for the whole process of this purchase.
​
My brother is 9. Meaning he is at the age that minecraft is rated at, 7+. Considering the fact that he is of the rated age of minecraft, none of the COPIUS amounts of checks for verification should really be there.
First off, I make him a gmail account, then a microsoft account. Now here's the thing, microsoft detects that he is 13 and under because I put his real age in. because of this, he is required to have a parental account linked to him and Im forced to have a family account with him. I find this all to be reasonable enough, and it is done by simply logging into my own account.
I really thought this would be the end of it. I would maybe adjust permissions here and there and it would be fine and dandy. But no.
I go to minecraft.net and log into his account to just buy minecraft and get on with it. But turns out, since he is under 13, he needs a family member to approve the purchase. Ok, fine. but how?
There is a button telling you that a message has been sent to the adult about the request but it does not say whatsoever where this message has been sent, instinctively I thought it would appear in my email as some sort of one time code, 10 mins pass, nothing turns up. Turns out, googling this issue, I have to install a fucking app to even get this notification. ok so I do, I install the app on my phone, logging in and going through 2FA again, and also have to deal with microsoft aggressively trying to take over my phone's autofill, but I did it, and nothing comes through, I wait 20 mins, nothing happens on the stupid app. so I try again, from opening the WINDOWS STORE on my own computer and get the app there. go through 2FA AGAIN to finally see the notifcation on my top right for that request to buy minecraft. Neat. except wait, it is asking for it in dollars, not in my currency, Philippine peso. I thought this would be fine, but later on it asks for my card details in the US, which im not based in. I thought I should be above board with this, and googling tells me I can change this by logging into my own microsoft profile and adding payment details there.
I do this, and yes I could change to PH there, GREAT. Finally, I can give them my money and just buy the game, but WAIT A SECOND, my payment information is still not yet on the family desktop app. its been another 20 mins, and the notification comes through on my phone, where I think maybe itll be updated there, but I never figure out of it does update overthere, because upon clicking the approve button, it opens up a window to what seems to be microsoft store page and 404's. fucking brilliant.
Turns out, on Minecraft.net, I have to switch the region youre trying to buy minecraft from from US, to whatever country, THEN hit F5 to refresh the page, and THEN you can press the button to request the parent for consent, and then finally everything will work to the correct country. Christ almighty, I thought I was done, just buying the game and launching minecraft for my little brother so we can play LAN.
Except, no.
Turns out, now that this computer is tied to someone who is younger than 13, literally every single app that is opened is tracked and flagged by microsoft for being a potentially bad app. and so, now, I have to fucking approve every single app that I open on the mobile app, and I cant even approve them globally, it has to be done case by case and is really slow since it works as some sort of DRM or something. so I cant run the installer, because the installer requires access to the Microsoft store, and I guess it just cant get the correct permissions? So it errors out until I try to get the installer directly from the microsoft store, but since the store is so dogshit, its just constantly stuck on pending and I cant stop it for some reason.
In the end I try to restart his computer in an attempt to force stop the "pending" thing with the minecraft installer and of course, I get a forced windows update.
AAAAAA
...after the restart, the windows store worked, I got the installer, and I ran java edition to try it out, see if it works. I tried buying it for him at 12:30 when I arrived home from school, it is now 2 o clock, and I had a class at 3. so I just wanted to see if things were ok. and of course, I see that MULTIPLAYER IS GREYED OUT.
Like the one thing I wanted to do with him is to do LAN, but he cannot lan with me if multiplayer is greyed out. at this point I was too frustrated to try and I go to school for my class and deal with it when I come back.
When I come back I do some googling to see what I can do, the minecraft sceen tells me to go to my brother's microsoft account settings to get it fixed, but nothing of the sort seems to come up at all in regards to that in the settings dashboard. I do even more googling but the articles keep talking about an Xbos family app? I already have a microsoft family app and minecrafts diagnosics are tracked in the family app so I think the permissions are somewhere there. I keep looking for a solid 30 minutes now, and I come to realize, oh shit XBOX FAMILY APP IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT APP.
WHY is it on a different app? why do I need two?? OK, fine, ill download it. But, to my utter shock, the Xbox Family Settings App, is NOT AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY. And the kicker? THERE IS NO DESKTOP ALTERNATIVE.
I am completely baffled. If I wanted to keep above board with all of this, I would have not only gone through this tedious process, but in the end I would have only had a java edition or bedrock edition account that is effectively useless as it can only play multiplayer because I cant get the xbox family app in any legal way. This is utterly unacceptable.
Who am I even gonna complain to? there are 3 different entities involved here, mojang, microsoft, and xbox, who would I even speak to to try and get any of this resolved???
I'm stunned.
​
TL;DR legally buying a copy of Minecraft for a young person is littered with constant 2FA checks, parental control shenanigans, and app bloatware that is imposed for zero reason whatsoever other than to inaugurate you into the Microsoft ecosystem. If you want to have a smoother experience, it would be easier to just lie about said young person's age.

Hi friends.
Sorry for the long post lol.
I've (25 F) been with my boyfriend (27 M) for 3 years, known him for 7. I've always known he has OCD and I know the details of all the times his OCD has ruled his life in the past.
When we started dating, his OCD was minimal and it didn't really affect our lives. About 2 years ago, I started to notice that it was getting slowly worse, and he was starting to struggle more and more. I suggested therapy but he brushed it off and was clearly in denial that he needed help. Over the course of 18 months, things got worse and worse. He began to live in a state of near constant anxiety, and due to his extreme fear and panic, I regularly got snapped at. Clothes had to be washed multiple times, there were corners of his flat I wasn't allowed anywhere near, food I prepared got thrown away, and there was one time he tried to get me to wash my deceased dad's jumper (he passed away 16 years ago and I have a couple of his jumpers that I don't wear, I just keep and try not to wash too frequently for sentimental reasons). When we moved in together, there were bags of things all over the flat that I wasn't allowed to go through and unpack. We ended up just cramming bin bags of his things in various corners of the place because he couldn't touch them and I didn't want them sat in the middle of the living room. Throughout this time, I was still regularly accidentally doing things wrong by touching things I didn't know he perceived as contaminated, resulting in him snapping and even shouting at me. It's important to add that while all of this was going on, I was having weekly EMDR therapy sessions for C-PTSD, so I was struggling with my own mental health and actively putting in immense amounts of effort to heal. I have since mostly recovered.
It wasn't until September last year that I couldn't take it anymore and told my boyfriend I would not renew our tenancy and I would move out if he didn't get back into therapy. After months of begging and helping him find a therapist, he finally got into therapy in January of this year, 18 months after I initially suggested it.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend was not honest with his therapist, and she was under the impression that his OCD was minimal and he just needed a bit of help. He put a wall up with her and then complained that he wasn't getting better.
About 2 weeks ago, I reached a new point of desperation. I found myself dreading my boyfriend's return from work because half of the time he would bring a black cloud into our flat with him. I found myself avoiding him, staying quiet around him, shrinking myself down around him, all in fear of setting him off and getting snapped at. I've also found myself losing empathy for him and losing my temper with him. I used to be so patient and calm and do everything I could to help him, but now I'm so exhausted and so fed up of his constant anger, I can't cope. We don't do date nights anymore, and I've found myself turning away from him in bed and sitting on the other end of the sofa when we watch TV in the evenings.
I finally reached out to his sister and met her for lunch last week. She's not only very aware and experienced with my boyfriend's OCD, but she's also got 2 psychology degrees and has been working in mental health since graduating. I don't know why I didn't go to her sooner, but she's helped lessen the burden on me and is meeting up with my boyfriend once a week. She's also been there for me to talk to if I'm stuggling or don't know how to manage a situation. My boyfriend and I also wrote letters to his therapist so we could accurately describe how bad his OCD is without him putting a verbal wall up, so now she is aware and is going to modify her approach with him and has also suggested some extra coping mechanisms. My boyfriend has also spoken to a doctor and is increasing his medication ever so slightly just to see if that helps.
All of this sounds great, right? Sounds promising. But I am so exhausted. I am so burnt out. My boyfriend's sister just messaged me to check how I am and I burst into tears. I'm not currently working (job market is hellish) so I'm home all day. I try to do nice things for myself (I go running, I read, journal, meditate, play animal crossing, etc.) as well as doing all the cooking and cleaning, but I just feel like a shell of a person. I just started crying when I got into bed last night and I don't even know why. I wake up miserable and exhausted every day.
What do I do? My boyfriend has just started getting a significant amount more support and help but we won't see any changes for a little while as these things take time.
Leaving him is not on the cards because 1) I don't want to and 2) that would just make him even worse and I will not cause him pain when he is already suffering.
Thank you in advance and I'm sorry this is so long. I hope you're all having a lovely week so far <3

I have debated and questioned what to write for awhile now, how to put into words my feelings like I should have been well past feeling this way and moved on to sunnier days but I haven't.
It's been nearly 5 months since we broke up. Since she told me on that cold Christmas Eve in a hotel in Japan that she's sorry but can't do this anymore. That the long distance relationship we had she hated the distance (and so did I) she felt her love for me fading and in turn found her feelings growing for another.
She ended things because she said she felt lost. That if we stayed together she was worried she'd cheat on me and would never want to hurt me in that way..so she ended it. She ended nearly 4 years together albeit long distance that got screwed around by covid.
Its been 5 months and I know she's dating the other guy now a co-worker who's younger but is there and has plenty in common. I say I'm happy for them because I genuinely feel she deserves happiness..I just wish I could find my happiness..I can tell myself day after day she's not coming back, she's happier now, she doesn't care about you or love you..you probably don't even exist in her memories that's how strongly she's moved on and yet every now and then I break down and cry because I miss my best friend. I miss feeling loved and hearing about her day and one day I'm sure I'll find my happiness again but today isn't that day.
I don't know why I'm writing this and I know others have gone through worse than me but today for whatever reason hurts more than others and I guess I just need to yell into the void and get it out somehow.

There are soooo many questions and stories i want to post here but I keep putting it off because I dont know where to start, plus I always end up typing wayyyyy too much then get frustrated and give up.
I'm gonna try to ask for this advice as best i can without writing a novel of backstory.
My youngest is 17 and going through a breakup. She's been questioning his honesty and from what she's told me its very likely that he's been dishonest and hiding her from his family and friends, but she was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Partially because she and I are currently in an awful, toxic living situation, she doesn't have much opportunity to meet people her age, has more negative in her life than positive right now, etc
She has been trying to get him to go on an actual date with her for awhile, instead of just 'hanging out' at night, but he always has an excuse for why he doesn't have time (but he can manage time to hang out with his homies) and she says this last time she went over to hang out, she felt unwelcome, like he obviously wanted her to leave. Shes blocked him on social media, which is how they communicate because supposedly he got in trouble awhile back for fighting at school, snd and he said the cops took his phone at that point. (obviously bs)
She said she doesn't feel like she owes him any explanation because she's made so much effort to be there for him and the relationship while he seems to not be making any effort at all.
I'm so proud of her for standing up for herself and setting some expectations and boundaries (especially since I haven't been capable of teaching her boundaries). Im just a little worried because I know she's hurting more than she's showing me and I'm not good at emotions, especially negative ones.
I know one of the things they bonded over initially is that they both have issues with depression and I'm worried about him possibility reaching out and trying to guilt trip her or something. Or if he doesn't try to 'win her back' she might start to feel like she wasn't good enough or something.
Can anyone give me advice on how to support her through this and maybe anticipate how he might react once he realizes she's seriously walking away from him?
Any resources for repairing communication with a teen who's been through her own trauma and been affected by mine, while trying to find outside help for us (therapy) would also be appreciated, and resources for learning about boundaries and how to implement them. I'll try to post more about our relationship and what we've been through, when im able to, because I could really use help repairing our relationship before she moves out on her own in the world.
Thank you.

I (24M) have been in a relationship for about a year (21F) and have been having thoughts about our compatibility since the whole inital “honeymoon” stage has come to an end.
I have generally had issues cutting my relationships in the past even though they grow toxic for me. My love for the other person usually stops me from breaking up with them and I feel terrible about breaking their heart. I usually try to make things work at all costs.
I’m also aware that no one is perfect and great relationships need commitment and a certain level of compromise from both parties to be successful.
So, with that being said, when do you all think it’s time to move on? What’s your deal breaker? Where do you draw the line between compromising and leaving?
Currently, I have found someone who’s personality I identify with on a level I never thought possible before, but they have a few habits which constantly irritate me with no sign of them stopping. Even when constructive discussions about issues have resolved nothing.
They have almost identical hobbies and interests as me. I have never felt this similacompatible to someone before mentally. They’re curious learners and incredibly passionate and generous. It’s always easy to talk to them and we truly feel like a team together. I can always talk about anything with them even if it risks upsetting them. Oh, and she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever layed eyes on. I can go on forever listing all the positives…
On the other hand, they’re far too clingy. I feel like my freedoms are limited and I have to justify doing ANYTHING without them. I don’t hang out with friends or colleagues nearly as much anymore and it’s upsetting. They’re also lazy, unmotivated and crippled by ADHD. I’m always eager to go out and explore, and definitely keep in great shape physically. She doesn’t like to exercise and complains about walking for more than 10 minutes. I’ve put on a lot of weight and have stopped exercising regularly.
I also feel a financial burden with them. It’s far from 50/50 and according to them it’s due to their muslim background and thus culturally they feel as if the man must provide. This is a deal breaker for them. It’s so irritating to be stuck paying for groceries and dinner, whilst I watch her blow her money irresponsibly on herself. Generally, despite so many things going for her, she’s pretty stubborn and it feels like I must compromise but she won’t take no for an answer.
What would you do? I’ve been struggling with this for a while so would appreciate any tips beyond the standard “nah bro just move on”. Prior to this I was in a 4 year relationship where I tried all I could to make it work, but ended up in disappointment and heartbreak for me. Although we shared some beautiful memories which wouldn’t have happened if I left as soon as it got hard, I would like to avoid wasting time and possibly risking my mental health unnecessarily.
TLDR: In a romantic relationship, would you stay with your partner if, despite having an amazing personality and many hobbies in common, they have issues with laziness, clinging, and financial demands which are becoming increasingly tiring?
Thanks!

I think this issue is magnified among the old guard salseros, those who've been around for 10 or more years. Now I'm not saying ALL of them, most older men are sweet, sometimes they want nothing but music & dance. But I'll say that some of these men or groups are trying to monopolize the newer, younger dancers, especially women in their 30s or younger non-Latina white women like us.
I've had experiences, and I wouldn't have noticed it if I had quit earlier. These men, particularly those aged 40-50, often chat us up right after a dance, complimenting our moves. While it's flattering, yeah, it's a pattern sure. Though I'll say that it's not just Latino men (so you "salseros bachateros" calm down) but men in that age range. Interestingly, the older guys, around 60, are mostly sweet though a few, but the 40-50 'silver foxes' I think can just be the ick.
And for women who are reading this, share with me too, iykyk.
An example, I do my best to follow but some of these men still use the same old moves from 10 years ago, I've seen the vid Jose.. Linear, dip, dip, linear. It's fine if you like the LA style of salsa, & I'm mostly fun with it, though there could only be so much dips I can take... But if you're going to teach me or correct my moves, maybe mix it up a bit?? And for 10 or so years, it's still these???
Juanito, a good acquaintance of mine. He likes to chat after a dance, most def to secure a second dance & also to flirt, while I don’t mind, he once grabbed my arm and turned me around so that my friend, a decent lead who’s new to this certain dance enclave, couldn’t ask me for a dance. That was really off-putting.
"You're really good at dance, again let's do a second??? My oh my good dance!". Like okay dude, are you here for you, you're literally in every single night and have been doing so for a decade. What is it FOR you types?? Do you like maybe also cultivate the community?? There are newbie leads who wants a chance, what's it with you targeting women who seem to be younger, fresh off in the scene and stick with them as much as you can, like do you get off dancing with us is that your thing??? And if you like dancing so much why the damn same moves. Is this the only dance you do out of more than a decade???? Are you for the community or is it your ego or something?
To the more passive men, thank you for being humble. In smaller, cliquey salsa communities, I'll call little enclaves, egos can inflate, especially near the DJ's floor. You might feel like you have to fight for dances, but please don’t copy these rude idiots. Don’t grab us by the arm and pull us away. It’s disrespectful. Just a rant I needed to share.
My friend told me, it didn't matter if he was about to ask me this other lady for a dance, this 40 year old dude literally pulled her by the arm. it can really be tough when the ratio is bad & 80% of the dancers are acquaintances or friends with each other.
Last rant, these guys with their slick, gelled hair with moves heavily cumbia centric. I came for salsa, & while I enjoy a cumbia or two, I can't help but frown when they insist on dancing cumbia to popular salsa songs. I understand that many of my good Mexican friends have more experience with banda & cumbia, and their eyes light up when the DJ, who specifically announces a salsa night, plays cumbia. I enjoy it too & never turn down La Chona especially in quince's (I help teach sweet 15s dance) however, these slick-haired, & sometimes too greasy looking guys target newcomers and chat them up. They’ve been doing this for over 10 years. So I have to ask... why? I'm fine with it to an extent, but if you’ve been part of a small salsa community for a decade, and you still have the same style, the same type of dance, and the same ego approach, what are you trying to achieve with your life?
Dedicated to my actual good friends Juanito, Jose, Cesar (but Cesar's Colombian) tip for ladies, have a good posture, sometimes these types of men (again not exclusive to latinos so calm down) would really feed off of your type of vibe. Be firm and strong, most guys will get it & categorize you as just an avid salsera & so you just dance & draw in the better types of people after 2 months or so. The silliest part is when you realize the players just start leaving them alone and it's the nightlife whatever but things can change.

Long story short, I’m 26 and the grandson is 34. I never thought about going for someone with that big of an age gap, but I’ve thought about how is just a number, especially when you approach your later 20s. And as I get older, 30 and 35 don’t seem as old as I thought they were. I’m not opposed to being introduced to someone that I know mutually through someone else, but here’s the tricky part of it: his grandmother is also my patient. And at first I didn’t think she was being serious, and so I kindly declined. But as the days went on, she continued to bring it up. And part of me didn’t see it as a big deal, but I don’t exactly have guys lining up for me. But I also took it as a compliment, that she holds me to such high regard, to want me to even meet her grandson. I’ve been told I don’t put myself out there, but is anyone ever perfectly okay with potentially making a fool of themself trying to meet someone organically? Anyway, back to the grandson….normally if it was neighbor trying to set me up with their grandson, I’d be less hesitant, but since it involves a patient’s family member, I feel like major ethical concerns come into play. But also idk if he’s even agreed to do it either. Because at first I said no, but now I feel like I’m shooting my shot but not taking her up on her offer. And call me crazy, but what if I’m stepping in the way of meeting my dare you say…soulmate? Because this grandma (love her dearly, I’m actually quite close with her) is 94, so she knows a thing or two, especially with how well she knows her grandson. And she said I’m just his type. And I know she talks about both of us to one another, she’s literally trying to set us up. And like I said, I’m not sure if he agreed to meeting me. But through all the thoughts I’ve had, I keep coming back to how hard it is to meet someone nowadays, and how sometimes being set up actually works out. My parents started dating by my mom asking a mutual friend of her’s and my dad, if he wanted to go to a party with her. He agreed and after that party, they started dating. So they were age 16 and they’re 59 now, so you do the math. In the few weeks of this going on, the times he’s been visiting her, I’m always busy at that same time with other patients, so we end up missing each other. And I hope she didn’t tell him that I’m hiding, because I’m literally not hiding…except one time when I could hear her calling out about me from down the hall “there she is!”. I felt so awkward being singled out like that, I literally walked into a random room, not thinking they would be coming down the hall and passing me in the room. FML. And as they passed by the room, she shouted “there she is!” again FML 😭 I’m also not trying to come off desperate if I agree to meet him, but what if he wasn’t even on board to begin with. And then I just look Iike fool who agreed to meet him, even though I’m caring for his grandmother. Is that cringe? Men: what should I do? Would you agree if you were the grandson?

I know this is a meme sub. I wanted to post this in the main sub but I don't have clips for a claims and I was worried not being able to post it or being able to and then getting banned because I don't have clips for my quotes. I know I might get banned from here too but if I had to choose between being able to post and reply in a place it would be the his main sub because I'm not good at making memes or jokes but I'm ok at rambling in a self-important way. hopefully I wont get banned at all but we'll see.
Our boy is right about most things. Some things that he has dog shit takes on is 1. Kids protesting don’t have demands 2. If the USA stopped funding IDF the kids would be only 1% less pissed about the conflict. 3. They don’t know anything about the area or really anything about anything 4. Anti-semitism and anti-zionism are the same thing. 5. “We see that the killing will radicalize kids in gaza but we don’t see that on the other side with 10/07/23 or the 2nd uprising etc.” As I’ve said in previous posts here, I’ve been watching Destiny since 2016. He has made me rethink more things than I could count. He’s forced me to read on topics I never thought to read on. It’s for those reasons I expect much more from him than most humans and why I’m so passionate when I come down on him or go down on him or whatever the phrase is.

1. The student groups are demanding the campus they attend stops using their tuition money to fund Israel. That’s a straightforward, clear demand. In fact, it’s much more clear than occupy or mainstream BLM demands were. Destiny knows this. Rather than dropping this talking point he acts as though his quiver is low and he needs every arrow possible and has recently changed it to “They have no demands… or their demands are misguided.” So fucking silly. Divestment, as big Steve knows from studying more history than most people have casually read, is a political tool that has been used for decades with varying degrees of effect. As a capitalist I would think the idea of people ``voting with your dollar” would get him hard. Destiny has defended his support for the war against Hamas. I haven’t seen him defend his position that American universities should be using their endowments to assist Israel in their war. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has some really thought out reasons for this position but I haven’t heard it yet so until that moment I think his position is stupid at best.
   
2. “The students don’t really care about the USA or their college funding this war. If the schools and or the government stopped the funding the kids would only be 99% pissed rather than 100%”. I think this is a stupid take. The kids I talk to think they are/we all are funding a genocide. I know Big D doesn’t think we’re funding genocide… nobody is correct all the time. They want their school and/or government to stop funding it. Many of them don’t agree what the next step should be but they do know they want their school to divest. Brown is the one example that I know of where the school said, “Ok, we’ll vote on divesting in the fall.” The students didn’t say, “We’re staying until you divest.” They said, “Sounds good.” and broke down their encampment. They know what they want and when the school said that they would vote on it months from now the students walked away.
   
3. “The protesters don’t know anything about the area or the history” is something Mr. Bonerelli has said. He’s also said, “The history matters but at the same time it doesn’t matter.” By this I understood him to be saying, “Yes, X happened in 19XX or 18XX and that was bad and it shouldn’t have happened but what are we going to do about what’s happening on the ground right now?” When I see these clips of kids being asked questions they don’t know the answer to, the latter Destiny quote pops into my smooth brian. My second and third thoughts are, “I wonder how many clips did they get of kids answering questions correctly before they found this kid. I hope there were zero clips before and after this kid because protesters should know by now that talking to the media is something the PR people should do.
   

These kids don’t need to know what happened in the six day war to know that they don’t want their dollars going to arming a military that they believe is genociding a people. In fact, they don’t need to know where Palestine is on a map or if Israel was created in 1948 or 1848.

1. “Anti-Zionism and Anti-Semitism”are functionally the same thing” this is such a silly claim. It’s as silly as the blue trench coat. The most EXTREME form of anti-zionism that I can think of, that I’ve never come across naturally (meaning not searching for it), in the anti-zionist circles, would be the end of Israel and killing of every zionist. Even if 90% of jews were Zionists, even after they realized they could denounce their Zionism and not be killed, that still wouldn’t be killing jews because they are jews. It would be killing zionists because they’re zionists. In fact, if someone were to hold that position they'd be forced to, in absolute numbers, kill more American Protestants than Isrealies. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the largest population of zionists are American protestants. Obviously if the most extreme version of anti-zionism isn’t anti-semitism then the same is true for all versions. If I saw the 6mwe shirts being worn by some of the protestors on these campuses I would be concerned. What's more likely is some of these counter protestors at UCLA were wearing those shirts on Jan 6 in DC.

Anti-Zionism is no different than anti-facism or anti-capitalism or anti-communism. Immutable traits are not necessarily connected to one's ideology. Obviously if you're missing a leg you're likely to support the ADA. If you're queer you're more likely to support equal rights for queer people. That being said, most of the time, Ideology is not connected to things you can’t change about yourself. I know it would be convenient for the zionists if Anti-zionism is Anti-semitism but it’s not. In fact, IMO, a decent argument can be made that Zionism is anti-Semtic. “The jews can safely co-exist with any other population for an extended period of time even in today's international western world with international institutions like the UN, the ICJ and the ICC. It just can’t be done. They need to have their own place that was already partly inhabited.”

1. While in debates sometimes people bring up the fact that the IDF is creating the next generation of Hamas by killing the families of all these kids. If Destiny is given time to reply he says that we talk about it one way but we don’t ever talk about how the rockets and 10/07/23 might radicalize young Isrealies. He’s correct that not many people talk about it but they should. I think it’s very important to point out that if you grow up hearing rockets flying over head, are told in school about all the violence Hamas and those that came before have committed against Israelis (but for propaganda reasons they’d probably say jews rather than israelis) and and that the Gazains have always wanted to kill jews (calling them jews not israelis) and then you’re trained in the IDF and sent into Gaza you might make statements via humorous skit or whatnot about enjoying killing Gazians or that not enough Gazians have been killed while in a bombed out apartment complex in Gaza. What I assume is happening a little bit more than TikTok posts being made is people shooting rather than not because they've been radicalized. Destiny is correct; we need to talk about the radicalization that if Gazians are experiencing then young Iraelis must be experiencing too.
   
2. “Americans don’t care about foreign policy. They care about domestic policy. The college kids ‘care’ about foreign policy because they’re still suckling on the mommy and daddy teet. Domestic policy doesn’t impact them so they look to the most morally loaded thing they can, which currently is foreign policy.” is something I heard Destiny say in a tone of disgust. Destiny also recently said he might stop saying he’s progressive or far-left. IMO His perspective on the above mentioned topic is a perfect example of why he should stop thinking of himself in this way. It says so much to me that when people in a society have their basic needs met they think about the world broadly. They look for international injustice and they do what they can to try to minimize it. From Destiny’s comments it seems as though he prefers for Americans to be so wrapped up in their own survival that they aren’t thinking about international affairs.
   What makes Steven valuable to online politics and philosophy is not that he’s a progressive but his desire to put in the work, show that work being done, to become educating about topics and then expose others for not being educated. 99.9% of factual matters Destiny knows and remembers about this conflict than many scholars. That’s impressive and very important to show people that if you can put in 7 hours a day, 6 days a week, not just read but study for those hours you can come close to having nearly scholarly knowledge on the topic. Obviously there's a difference between having the knowledge and bringing new knowledge to the academy’s attention, that realm is still best left to the scholars but it's incredibly empowering for us all to know that if you put in the work it is possible to know more than 99% of the population on a topic in a short amount of time.
   It would do Destiny and the far-left good if he was more clear about the fact that he’s a classical liberal who’s influenced by The Founding Fathers, Adam Smith, Ricardo and the Marquis de Sade.
   

Once again yesterday I was jumping through hoops to help my LO (M32), and I always feel so many mixed feelings over it after it happens.
We had been texting all afternoon after I went to an appointment in the hospital for my pap smear (3 years being monitored for a cervix lesion), I was in so much pain and it was a bit traumatic. He was being sweet and understanding. He was going to photograph an event in another city after his day-job, and he couldn't find his reusable battery charger, so he asked me if I could lend him one.
Well, I don't have a reusable battery charger. I used to, but it was my ex's. I was just waking up from a nap, but immediately started calling my dad, brother, and friends to try and get one lended. My friend F (M28), his GF (F28) and I were going out for dinner and he told me he had one he could lend. I called LO and told him I got it, and he doesn't deserve me. Then I offered myself to drive him to the train station because it rained all day and his car is in the shop. Boy.
So, can you guess it? I go to the dinner - that started late at 9.30pm -, and leave at 11pm super fast to go meet him. I felt like shit leaving my friends, but they understood. I waited for him outside the restaurant he works at. He then asks if I can still take him to the train station. I said yes, and I drive him there. We joke a bit on the way, he tells me about his day, asks if I'm feeling better.
When I park in front of the train station, he asks me if I want to keep him company while he waits for the train. Of course I said yes and went in with him. We joked for a bit more. He made fun of me over something I said and I jokingly hit him in the arm, and we laugh a lot, I am always so happy near him. His train arrives and he kisses me on the cheek and I hug him. I tell him to text me later. As he is entering the train, he looks back and yells for me to text him when I get home. I leave for my car, giddy.
Then I go home. And we text until I go to sleep and he gets to the event. I answer him at 6.30am, he answers almost immediately and we text a bit until I leave for work and he goes to sleep. I tell him to go rest and he wishes me a good day at work.
And I'm thinking I'm such a simp for him. Why do I feel compelled to have girlfriend actions towards him? There's no benefit for me, expect for his attention. Stupidly I am waiting for him to realize how great I am and give it a chance, but I'm too much of a chicken to tell him I like him. I'm not sure he likes me back, because while on one hand he seems to make too much of an effort for a simple friendship - coming to see me regularly, seating next to me on group hang outs and almost only talking to me, texts me everyday, kisses me on the forehead, etc -, on the other he never made a proper move and the only flirty thing he does is sending me flirty reels and memes (this has only started happening over the last two weeks, and I'm not sure if he just finds it funny or if he's testing the waters for my reaction).
I know I show love through acts of service, so it's not foreign for me to try to be helpful and get taken advantage of, especially by a LO. I'm always trying to prove my worth and value and I feel tired of not feeling "seen". I know it's not his fault, even if he doesn't like me back. I'm the one not setting boundaries for myself because I am so infatuated with him and want to be with him all the time and make him happy...

i’m sorry for my english, i know it’s not really good and i don’t have the strength to put extra effort to check if everything is written well. i lost my baby yesterday night, he died while i was asleep and i found him dead as soon as i woke up. he was a senior hamster, i knew that he was about to go because i took him to the vet every month since november and in april he was diagnosed with kidney cancer, nothing could be done because he was old and surgery could be more dangerous than the cancer itself for him. i am devastated, we shared our daily life since i adopted him in january 2022, and in the last seven months i did everything in my power to give him attention every moment of the day and to make him happy, because i have never felt this connection to any other pet and he truly was my soul pet. i never left my house for more than a couple hours during this months because i was too scared i would be missing out on his life or he could die anytime. since march his health condition became really bad and i had to feed him from my hands 3 or 4 times a day, because otherwise he wouldn’t eat or drink, amongst other things. this really consumed me but nothing is as bad as the void left in my soul after he is gone, i could not be prepared for this pain and i find it unbearable, in addition to that the members of my family don’t show any compassion towards me or him because ‘he is just a pet’ or even worse ‘he is just a hamster’. my world collapsed yesterday and i don’t know if i am ever going to be able to find another purpose in life, and honestly i don’t really care, i just want to express my feelings. i have been really depressed for many years, and i have had many suicidal thoughts, almost every day since october. he was a strong emotional support for me and i did my best just to take care of him, but now i really wish i had the strength to finally end things for me. i pray every day god to give me a natural death because i don’t want my parents to feel guilty or ashamed and i don’t have what it takes to do it myself, i’m a coward. i want to reunite with him, he was the center of my life and he will always be.