Mt. woodson wedding

Your space for queer weddings!

2015.08.21 19:28 marmosetohmarmoset Your space for queer weddings!

This is a space for discussing and sharing same-sex or otherwise queer-identified weddings and other commitment ceremonies. Everyone is welcome, as long as you play nice :)
[link]


2017.01.25 08:32 dpotter05 SoCal Climbing

Upcoming SoCal Climbing Club meetups as well as photos, videos, news, and discussions for climbing throughout Southern California and places SoCal climbers visit. SoCal Climbing Club is a group of friends who enjoy climbing together. Join us!
[link]


2024.05.16 06:45 Anatiny Looking for People from Mt. Vernon for a School Project Focus Group!

Hello!
I'm a grad student at Teachers College. I'm doing a school project, and am looking to see if there's anyone from Mt. Vernon who would be able to be a part of a Focus Group over Zoom at 5pm - 5:45pm tonight (5/16). In this focus group, we'd be asking about the community of Mt. Vernon and thoughts about the schools in Mt. Vernon while sharing some ideas that we've planned as a part of this school project where we've designed our own school in Mt. Vernon. We're making a last-ditch effort to make sure that we have some feedback from community members of Mt. Vernon so we appreciate anyone who would be able be a part of this. We do not need you to be a resident of Mt. Vernon, but be able to at least have some connection to the area. Thank you in advance!
submitted by Anatiny to Westchester [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 04:28 bells_of_notre_tom Custom Marriage Mini-Set

So I've got a treasured friend, we're making a custom set of like 15-18 top-down designs based on him, his wife, their vows, and their wedding, and the designing is going spectacularly. If y'all want the set list I can make an encore post about that; I'm pretty excited about my designs tbh. However, I have two more pressing needs right now; I need to know the following:
1: is there a MtG card creator app/site that does split cards (ideally with the Fuse mechanic)?
2: is there a proxy printing site y'all recommend highly? We've found a couple but I'm curious to hear y'all's takes.
submitted by bells_of_notre_tom to custommagic [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 00:04 jordanh7074 [Static][TEA][5 of 8]

[5/8][Tank][Healer][Ultimate][Savage][NA][Aether][Midcore][DT][TEA]
Hello there! Crown Jewels is an Aether static in need of tanks and a shield healer for current TEA prog (lowest prog point in the group is currently around 3rd NISI pass, but everyone else has seen further [inception+] or cleared). We are ideally hoping to be able to clear TEA before DT! Tank spots can continue into DT savage as well, but are not required to. Please be confident with LL & LC minimum if expressing interest in joining
Team comp: [MT] [OT] // WHM// [Shield Healer]// RP/ SAM// DNC// SMN
Schedule: Tues/Weds/Thurs 7-10pm est
-We typically take two 5-min breaks and one 10-min break within the 3 hours of prog time (raid lead is ND so I need these to help me focus longer, & the additional 5-min breaks help reduce random interruptions in prog for things like water, bio). -Not required, but some of us will prog together outside of these hours in pf
Loot priority: Gear - dps>tank>healer; Mount (savage) reversed - healer>tank>dps
We are looking for reliable team players who are willing to focus and be serious when needed but also down to have fun.
Expectations/Requirements
Please dm me if you are interested!
submitted by jordanh7074 to FFXIVRECRUITMENT [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:22 ShoeEast Need opinion on XUV700...

Need opinion on XUV700...
Update on: https://www.reddit.com/CarsIndia/s/Z4LVpwYFHa
If you had seen my previous post about the hycross, then this is its update
The hycross costs a lot, so we decided to compromise and look at the VX(o) variant. We sat inside the hycross and the interior did not feel the price tag. The hybrid batteries took away footroom. And the ottoman seats (albeit it was in the top variant, not the variant we were looking at) felt too narrow for an average built person like me. Overall, unsatisfactory experience and the hybrid makes no sense as running would be quite low. The On road price came at 33 lakhs, that too for a variant that misses out on a lot of features.
My father has a weird demand from a 7 seater car. He wants the second row to fold flat like the 3rd row so it can be made into a makeshift bed, good enough for sleeping (https://youtu.be/AwKfkNgtdq4?si=yZ15BjnQvMjDZ4dx) My uncle has an XUV500 and to our surprise, it does exactly what we wanted. Upon further research we discovered that both the captain seat and normal seat options of the XUV700's second row fold flat. Thus, we fell in love. The interiors are white, which our family loves and prefers over dark interior. It looks much better than the innova hycross (although we prefer the looks of the XUV500 to the XUV700). By looking at our needs, Our ideal variant would be AX7 Petrol MT. Which would be <25 lakhs. And the price difference (33-25=8 lakhs) is enough for us to cross 100,000 kms on the vehicle which is something we might never even do. Plus our honda city MT has spoilt us so we can only ever get another manual haha. The 380 NM of torque would be delicious lol. The only thing lacking is the inability to move the second row, but we'll live with that as the 3rd row would mostly be used as a makeshift bed. My father and I are sorting our finances and unless some important event occurs (like a wedding, where much of the money we saved might go into, elder son stuff haha), we are all bent on getting the XUV700 before 2025. That being said. What are things I need to look out for in it? 1. I have heard about niggles but how annoying are they? And will they be fixed by Mahindra just like how honda always has an answer when we get any problem with our city 2. Is the mileage way too bad, honestly for a car of that displacement and size, we really dont expect much! 3. Is the ride quality good? How's the handling? I dont expect driving dynamics like our city but our family hates body roll, it makes us feel sick 4. All of this car's competitors have been rejected EXCEPT the alcazar. I'm curious if an update is incoming based on the new creta? 5. Lastly, any XUV700 owners please share your ownership experience and things to look out for
This has been a long read, so thank you to anyone who's still here!
submitted by ShoeEast to CarsIndia [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 04:57 miirshroom Examining Tolkein: Gelmir, Faroth and Beyond

Examining Tolkein: Gelmir, Faroth and Beyond
It has been said that the Lord of the Rings is the origin of the high fantasy genre. I would consider Elden Ring to be something of a deconstruction of high fantasy tropes. A very instructive step of a deconstruction (or of duplicating results) is to look at a thing and examine the elements it is made of. The more general the better - the goal is to find the things that inspired the thing:
  • The setting is inspired by research into many real world mythologies and folk tales. And Tolkein's religious beliefs as a Catholic.
  • Tolkein invented full language systems that were used to add extra significance to the names of people and places
  • The personal history and psychology of the author had an undeniable influence on the themes of the story (when Tolkein writes about the devastation of war it is from a place of sincerity - because he lived it)
So, these are the ingredients of a successful fantasy story that also apply to Elden Ring - draws parallels to previous fantasy stories including mythology, use of bespoke words and naming schemes that are internally consistent as parallel to the real world, and incorporates psychologically-driven themes (in the case of Elden Ring I believe that it is less of the psychology of a person and more about drawing on the psychology of the gaming company FromSoftware...but that is beyond the point of this post).
And regarding the influence of Tolkein there are a few more explicit parallels to be drawn. Which for legal reasons regarding the rights to adapt Tolkein's Legendarium will likely never ever be confirmed by FromSoft. But as I see it getting references under the radar of the copyright lawyers is a time honoured tradition of deconstructive fantasy stories and parodies, so I will attempt to explain these connections as I see them, regardless. Also note that I am writing from the perspective of someone who has been familiar with the Lord of the Rings but never before looked at the extended mythology.
A linguistic connection is formed in the space between two main points that I am aware of: Gelmir of Nargothrond as the possible naming inspiration for Mt. Gelmir, and geographical region "Taur-en-faroth" containing part of the name used for Fort Faroth.

Gelmir

"J.R.R. Tolkien has become a sort of mountain, appearing in all subsequent fantasy in the way that Mt. Fuji appears so often in Japanese prints. Sometimes it's big and up close. Sometimes it's a shape on the horizon. Sometimes it's not there at all, which means that the artist either has made a deliberate decision against the mountain, which is interesting in itself, or is in fact standing on Mt. Fuji." - Terry Pratchett
First addressing Gelmir - literally the volcanic mountain is a reference to Tolkein. As clear of a declaration as possible that Elden Ring intends to stand on Mt. Fiji.
Gelmir in the "canon" version of the Legendarium was an elf of Nargothrond who was captured by the forces of Morgoth at the "Battle of Sudden Flame" which was the fourth great conflict in the War of the Jewels (the war over the 3 silmarils for which "the Silmarillion" is named). He was subsequently blinded and tortured for 17 years until his death - after having his limbs cut off to taunt his brother Gwindor into attacking recklessly - at the start of the fifth great conflict known as "The Battle of Unnumbered Tears". Gwindor himself was captured and held prisoner for an additional 17 years after this battle, before escaping at the expense of having a hand cut off and eventually dying in another battle of the war. He was in love with a golden-haired elf maiden named Finduilas (name meaning "hair of spring leaf") who he also called "Faelivrin" meaning "Gleam of the Sun on the Pools of Ivrin" ("Pools of Ivrin" being a location in the land called Beleriand). She was killed before the end of the war by being nailed to a tree with a spear.
For context, the sixth great conflict was called "The War of Wrath" and was the final one. Morgoth brought dragons to the battle to blast the battlefield with fire and lightning - which had never been done in any previous battle - and the outcomes were that Morgoth was beheaded and kicked through a portal into the void and the northwest corner of the map including almost all of Beleriand (an area equal to the size of the entire Middle Earth map at the time of the Lord of the Rings story!) sunk into the ocean.
There is a lot to work with here already - first being Gelmir's associations with flame and imprisonment and torture that are shared by both Tolkein's and Elden Ring's purposes. Blindness is noteworthy, considering how often this is a theme with Elden Ring characters and even partial blindness is enough to cause madness as indicated by the Prisoner Helmet. Taking a few lateral steps arrives at a golden haired maiden who shares the method of execution used for Marika. And her name meaning "gleam of the sun on the surface of the water" exactly describes the imagery seen in the Elden Ring item "Memory of Grace".
But there's still more to spin from this line! Because Finduilas had another lover named "Turin Turambar" who was a friend of Gwindor and whose family had been cursed by Morgoth. Turin owned a magic helm upon which was perched an image of the Golden Dragon Glaurung - similar to the style of helmet worn by Elden Ring's Banished Knights) - and which allowed him to survive dragon fire. Turin found on the grave of Finduilas a naked woman who he called "NaĀ­niel" or "Maiden of Tears" - because she had lost her memory and was crying - and wed her with neither knowing that they were estranged brother and sister (this is based on the Finnish story of Kullervo, with which Tolkein was especially fascinated). This was revealed to them later to be a machination of Glaurung when Turin was in the midst of slaying the dragon, and subsequently both Turin and Naniel killed themselves. Before meeting his end, Turin also described himself in (probably) poetic terms as having blindness being the curse placed upon him by Morgoth, which is assumed by readers to be more a matter of tunnel vision or short sightedness rather than literal blinding. He is also apparently prophesied to return to life someday in the supplementary materials.
What this means exactly for Elden Ring is up to interpretation. A story could be spun by combining Gelmir, Gwindor, and maybe even Turin into a single character who are motivated by unrequited and/or incestuous love for Finduilas/Naniel also made into a single character - to fill in the empty spaces around the characters of Marika, Radagon, and Godfrey. Or there could be some other purpose for naming the mountain "Gelmir". There is room for more nuance here because there are the alternate Gelmir's to consider.
In one version, Gelmir was king of the gnomes, by which Tolkein was inspired by the Greek "gnomeā€œ" meaning "thought" or "intelligence". But this was dropped due to the cultural confusion with gnomes being wrinkly little creatures.
In another version Gelmir was the same character as Finwe, an elf who was born during the "Years of the Trees" that preceded the era called the "Years of the Sun". At this time, the light of the world was confined to the Lands of the Valinor (a pantheon of Creator types) in the west provided by the female golden tree named Laurelin in the south and the male silver tree Telperion in the north. Finwe's wife was a weaver named MiĀ­riel Therinde and his son Feanor was responsible for forging the Silmarils and jealously guarding them (And also he invented the 7 palantiĀ­ri scrying stones + 1 master stone, and the Tengwar writing system). The grandson of Feanor and last of his line was Celebrimbor, meaning "silver fist". Celebrimbor forged the three rings for the elves (named for air, fire, and water) that were subject to the One Ring but never corrupted by it. So, it's possible that "Gelmir" is selected for being a deceptively niche character who was actually in another lifetime very closely connected to these core events of the history. The appearance of a character named "Miriel" is also interesting in the context of Elden Ring's Miriel, Pastor of Vows.
As a side note, something else of interest from this Tolkein deep dive was regarding the relationship between the silmarils and the world trees of the Valinor. The 3 Silmarils contained the remaining light of the two trees that were destroyed and had the sun and moon forged of their fruits by blacksmith Aule. When the trees were first made they were sung into existence by Yavanna and watered by the tears of Nienna (who was a teacher of the wizard Gandalf and in earlier versions of the Legendarium called "Queen of Shadow"). Nienna again wept healing tears upon the trees to grow the fruits when they were dying. Morgoth stole the Silmarils and set them into his Iron Crown, and upon his defeat the stones were pried out and the crown beaten into a collar for his neck (in the brief period of time before he was kicked into the void anyways). One Silmaril was thrown into the sky where it became the Evening Star. Another was cast into the sea. And the third was cast into a firey pit in the earth along with its possessor.
And as an addition, it is not farfetched that Morgott = Morgoth is an intended spiritual parallel. Considering that Morgoth was indirectly responsible for the blinding and killing of Gelmir (brother of Gwindor) in Tolkein's mythic history. And in Elden Ring this seems expressed in the Shattering War though Morgott pursuing Mt. Gelmir most fiercely. In a more broad sense, Morgoth was the identity taken by Melkor after he was released from the chains made to bind him by Aule, which is somewhat similar to Morgott/Margit using alternate names depending on the circumstance (and Margit's Shackle paralleling Melkor's binding chains).

Faroth

"Faroth" is a Sindarin word meaning "hunters". The "Hills of the Hunters" (Taur-en-faroth) was a location in West Beleriand, the aforementioned western part of the continent that sunk into the ocean at the end of the War of the Jewels. In these hills was hidden the secret elven city of Nargothrond on the Narog River. The same from which Gelmir of Nargothrond is associated. The city began as a Dwarven Hall for the petty dwarfs (exiled and unsociable dwarfs smaller than typical dwarfs), was conquered and ruled by the House of Finarfin (a son of Finwe), and was sacked and turned to the lair of the dragon Glaurung some time after The Battle of Unnumbered Tears. And then fell into the ocean.
At this point there are too many names, which is why I sketched a family tree of all of all these elves that is attached to this post.
Some general trends:
  1. Of the 3 family lines the middle one has significance for being the one to produce the Numenor Kings of Men
  2. The family lines at the two sides have plot significance as discussed in the Gelmir section, but then their lineages die off.
  3. Typically continuity is maintained through the male lines, with sole exception of Idril in the 3rd generation removed from Finwe. The origins of the women spouses are typically left vague (with 3 exceptions near the root of the lineage: Indis has a famous uncle, Nerdanel has a significant blacksmith father, and Earwen's extended family has some substance to it)
If a writer wanted to do a legally distinct take on this mythology while borrowing from it for whatever reason, it would be easy to condense the feats and characterization of these 3 lineages into one truncated one. Maybe fuse Finduilas with Idril - two blonde ladies with minimal character - and also fuse together their lovers and you have a Marika + Godfrey. The narratively satisfying thing about Finduilas being associated to Gwindor (who may as well be made the same character as Gelmir) is that it creates a closed loop for the whole lineage when GwindoGelmir is substituted for Finwe, which is a very attractive proposition for a story like Elden Ring where time is a wheel and return to the origin point is a principle of the Golden Order.
Also this region calls attention to the significance of the river Ringil. That word comes up as: 1) a mountain river through Taur-en-Faroth that is tributary to the Narog river, 2) a sword held by Fingolfin (another son of Finwe), and 3) as the primordial tower - sometimes made of ice - upon which sat the south lamp Ormal (an orb containing the gold light of the world in the First Age that would later pass to the gold tree Laurelin in the Second Age). In an earlier version of the writings. The blacksmith Aule created the lamps at the request of Yavanna, who was herself responsible for the growth of fruits and trees. The end of the "Days before Days" (which preceeded the "Years of the Trees") occurred with the breaking of the lamps by Melkor, after a period of time where he had poisoned the land and caused the things made by Yavanna to rot.
I will note that the early timeline was a bit difficult to follow. I gather that there are spans of time lit only by the stars between the destructions of these various sun/moon light sources, a period of time with Yavanna singing all living life to sleep due to the lack of light. The First Age is also called "The Awakening" but it appears that much of the war between Morgoth and the elves began prior to the beginning of the First Age. There is an aside in which Aule was also responsible for creating the "Seven Fathers of the Dwarves", but he made them too early and they had to go to sleep so that the elves of Iluvatar could be the first sentient mortal life. I found interesting this additional context for the lamps:
"In the middle of Arda, where the light of the lamps mingled, amid the Great Lake lay the Isle of Almaren, where the Valar dwelt." - The One Wiki to Rule them All
"In J.R.R. Tolkien's older writings (not used in the published version of The Silmarillion), the Valar sought peace with Melkor, asking his assistance with fixing the lamps upon Arda. Melkor, still envious and hateful of the rest of the Valar, agreed to give them a strong, sturdy substance. He gave Aule ice. Melkor permitted the Valar to do as they wished until the fateful day when the Lamps' light and heat finally melted the ice. The pillars crashed upon Arda, flooding it with water and darkness." - The One Wiki to Rule them All
I suppose that if I have a point here it is that Radagon's Sore Seal talisman is found at Fort Faroth, which through the winding etymology of words is tied to Mt. Gelmir. Perhaps the blind Radagon was a hunter on a fruitless quest seeking the lost light of the Golden Sun that stood on the ice pillar of Ringil from the days before days - guided by the distant memory of the reflection of it's light on the water. Perhaps there is other meaning to be found. I acknowledge that after a certain point any interpretation found through these linguistics should be cross-referenced with everything that can be learned from all other sources of information in the game.

The Rings of Power

The big brazen choice - in my opinion - was to name the big metaphysical artefact "the Elden Ring"...and then draw actual direct parallel to the Rings of Power. Not the 3 rings granted to the Elf Kings under the sky - I've yet to identify how or if those are expressed in game. Not the 9 rings granted to Kings of Men either - those are seemingly represented in the 9 Night's Cavalry (and possibly the 9 weapon talismans that each feature a ring at the top of the head) . What I find most relevant here are the 7 Great Runes matching "seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone".
The first critical part of that phrase is the reference to "stone", for I find that the shattering of Marika's Hammer equates to the shattering of the wisdom of stone. But the second point of note is that the dwarf lords of Tolkein received their own curse from holding their rings of power - obsession with gold. A similar obsession is seen in Elden Ring where all of the demigods are corrupted by their great runes and covet the grace of gold.
The arrangement of the Elden Ring also has some synergy with the arrangement of its runes - 6 of the 7 dwarf lords pair nicely through the even numbers. The Seventh Dwarf Lord was the chief among them "Durin the Deathless", who was reincarnated 7 times by being reborn as one of his own descendants. His clan also was generally known to absorb members from all other clans due to his central importance. The first Durin (one of the 7 original fathers of dwarves) built the underground city of Khazad-dum that would later be called Moria after a creature of shadow and flame that may-or-may-not have wings (a Balrog of Morgoth) was uncovered in its depths by Durin VI. Durin III was the one to receive the Ring of Power from Celebrimbor, and Durin IV was contemporary to the first rise and defeat of Sauron. Durin VII is appears to be from the timeframe of the Lord of the Rings and second defeat of Sauron, though he did not participate and seems to be known instead for reclaiming Khazad-dum from the orcs.

Why Examine Tolkein?

So what's the point of the elaborate Tolkein parallel? There may be 7 ring-shaped great runes, but there is also clearly one ring that rules them all - the Elden Ring. Examining Tolkein is one of several avenues of analysis reaching the conclusion that the ring is a dangerous object that corrupts everyone who touches it and must be destroyed. Of the six endings the only one that understands this is Ranni's Age of Stars. And in the Lord of Frenzy Flame ending the Tarnished succumbs to the power of the ring with head becoming a ring of flame matching the firey beacon on top of the Frenzy Flaming Tower - itself visually recalling a depiction of the Eye of Sauron atop the tower of Barad-dur as seen in the 2000's Lord of the Rings trilogy adaptation.
And even more, there's one ring bearer in particular who provides another piece to the puzzle of Radagon and Marika's dual identities. The dissociative identity of Gollum and Smeagol can completely describe the relationship between Marika and Radagon. Two thoughts in one body. With this lens I think that Radagon/Marika were likely not separate entities at the time of their Shattering and may have never had a separate existence. They can appear to hold conversations with each other through reflective surfaces, such as a very shatter-able mirror.
It is quite possible that another Great Rune (or more) will make an appearance in the DLC. If this does happen, I'll re-evaluate Ring of Power theory based on the nature of the added rune.
One last note which, again, is oblique enough for plausible deniability. The end of Patches questline would have the Tarnished deliver the Dancer's Castanets to Tanith, inside the volcano. If you know anything about castanets, they are typically made of hard materials such as wood or ivory (or plastic) and carved into a pear shape. Not so for the Dancer's Castanets. From a visual examination these are made of metal cast in a circular shape and with a ring shaped engraving filled with filigree. A metal ring-shaped object delivered to a volcano, echoing the One Ring delivered to Mt. Doom in the Lord of the Rings.
submitted by miirshroom to EldenRingLoreTalk [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 02:10 MircoPeenInspectorv1 Gen III Microtech LUDT - Blue - Drop Point

hey y'all,
Timestamp/Pics/Vid
got a brand new G3 LUDT here. Had to check one out.
Love what they did with it, no more propietary hardware, actual usable finger choil. Griptape for all you sk8r bois out there.
All awesome upgrades, I just know I'll never carry it here as it's illegal and I'm sca-wed.
Brand new in box, comes with everything from MT. Asking what I paid plus a Priority label.
SV: $300 shipped Priority,
thanks y'all,
submitted by MircoPeenInspectorv1 to Knife_Swap [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 00:27 OMGWTHEFBBQ Planning a 2 week roadtrip in northeast USA and into Canada - Suggestions for things to do in the general vicinity of my route? It is very flexible.

I'm planning a road trip for May 25th - June 9th. The only things that I know I 100% will be doing is the Air Force Museum in Ohio, staying in Chicago for a few days. Everything else is just areas I am thinking of exploring.
I am traveling alone, and the main focus of things to do is great nature and great driving roads (I am a car enthusiast taking my fun but comfortable and roomy car (BMW M5).
Any suggestions for great roads to drive, nature to see, great restaurants, or things that are a must-see or do, please comment!
Couple questions/thoughts:
  1. I've never driven to Canada before. I have my passport. Am I able to just drive my car in and that's it? Anything special to do beforehand, or anything I should know?
  2. Is it possible to bring a firearm with me along this trip? I have my Pennsylvania License to Carry Firearms, and generally carry wherever I am legally able to. Traveling alone, it would bring piece of mind to have a form of protection, especially as I plan to camp in some remote areas.
  3. I really enjoy stargazing and have been to Cherry Springs State Park, and seen darker skies while in other countries. Any dark sky opportunities or observatories will be great!
  4. Please recommend any great driving roads near my route! Twisty roads through scenic areas that are good road quality (minimal potholes). Low population/traffic preferred.
Here is my rough itinerary (majority of it can be changed if I take too long somewhere, it's just an idea). I put some notes of what the main objective is.
  1. Sat 5/25 Home to Charleston, WV (planning to stop in Harper's Ferry)
  2. Sun 5/26 explore WV (mostly looking for good nature or driving roads)
  3. Mon 5/27 Charleston to Dayton, Ohio for AF Museum
  4. Mon 5/27 Dayton to Chicago
  5. Tues 5/28 - Thu 5/30 Chicago (visiting a friend, any good driving roads? everything is so flat)
  6. Fri 5/31 Chicago to Toronto
  7. Sat 6/1 Toronto to Montreal
  8. Sun 6/2 Montreal to Quebec City
  9. Mon 6/3 explore QC (seems like a cool place; history, architecture, food)
  10. Mon 6/3 QC to Baxter State Park, ME (for stargazing)
  11. Tues 6/4 ME to Mt Washington, NH (I love a good mountain)
  12. Tues 6/4 NH to Albany, NY
  13. Wed 6/5 Explore Albany
  14. Thu 6/6 Albany to Syracuse
  15. Thu 6/6 Explore Finger Lakes
  16. Thu 6/6 End at Watkins Glen
  17. Fri 6/7 Watkins Glen to Catskills
  18. Sat 6/8 Explore Catskills
  19. Sun 6/7 Drive Home
Please let me know if there are any questions or clarifications needed. Thanks!
https://preview.redd.it/8c1mghqsvg0d1.png?width=2008&format=png&auto=webp&s=f570595c3a7139fc213cd47433f5d1ffa67ea9ac
submitted by OMGWTHEFBBQ to roadtrip [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 23:49 iwannaninja 115 Mt. Tabor Room for rent ~$600

Hey everyone, I'm Sauls.
My roommate and I are looking for a third to split rent on our apartment this upcoming school year. No preference men/women, if you're clean, responsible, and looking for somewhere to live we'd love to hear from you. If you or someone you know is interested, shoot me a dm or leave a comment.
$600 / month 3 bed, 2 bath at 115 Mt. Tabor Rd. Townhouse Available August 1
submitted by iwannaninja to blacksburg [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 23:46 iwannaninja 115 Mt. Tabor Room for rent ~$600

Hey everyone, I'm Sauls.
My roommate and I are looking for a third to split rent on our apartment this upcoming school year. No preference men/women, if you're clean, responsible, and looking for somewhere to live we'd love to hear from you. If you or someone you know is interested, shoot me a dm or leave a comment.
$600 / month 3 bed, 2 bath at 115 Mt. Tabor Rd. Townhouse Available August 1
submitted by iwannaninja to VirginiaTech [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:43 YoniLaika Travel international to Japan for the first time, need advice and recommendations!

Hello! I (22) am trying to plan my very first international trip and id like to go to Japan. I originally planned a trip literally right before covid happened so i had to cancel but now i am graduating collage and would like to celebrate by traveling with my mom! I've been saving up for years and finally feel like I'm ready. We plan to leave Dec 1st and come back on the 10th. Plane tickets will be 1800 each, I'm personally ok with spending 500$ on hotels. 300$ for food costs and 200$ on souvenirs
Problem is, I've literally never done anything like this before. I'm a homebody, I'm never flown, I'm rattled with anxiety, i have no idea what I'm doing. I've come to ask for some help! My mom has flown before but this will be both our first international trips.
After some research I've decided well stay in or around Tokyo and spend our trip there/take day trips to near by places. I'd LOVE to go Osaka but our two main things we want to see are centered around Tokyo so that's a trip for another time maybe. I'd love any hotel recommendations.
Here are some places or events we'd like to attend, please give me your thoughts or advice!: Chichibu Night Festival on Dec 3rd (this is a must), Mt. Fuji, Mitsumine Shrine, Ghibli Museum (i know tickets are hard to get but i have to try!!), Kamakura, Asakusa, and that's all we've got so far.
I'd love to know yall's favorite places to eat, hike, or shop! Me and mom would love to make crafts together and just try new experiences!
(Also any diabetics that have traveled to Japan, how did you find your experience?)
submitted by YoniLaika to travel [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:19 vo_7786 Road Trip from Bozeman, MT to Rapid City, SD

Road trip from Bozeman, MT through Yellowstone (have cabin for 1 night) and on to Sheridan, WY for a couple days for a wedding then the final stop is Rapid City, SD. Trip is from August 7th to August 17th. Have plans for the obvious in Yellowstone and stopping and Devils Tower and most likely Mt. Rushmore too. Any other suggestions must see or do things along the way to add to my list?
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2024.05.14 17:42 yoongibemyhusbandno2 Transpo & itinerary check for 7 days in Kawaguchiko and Nagoya

Hi, all! Weā€™re planning to visit Japan again this June with the main goal of seeing Mt. Fuji and experiencing a private ryokan and onsen. This is also a very spontaneous trip so we havenā€™t planned a lot yet but basically this is what I have in mind:
Sunday Early AM: Arrive at Narita airport / Bus to Tokyo Sta. Late AM: Bus from Tokyo Sta. to Kawaguchiko Sta. Early PM: Lunch at Hoto Fudo Late PM: Hotel check-in Early EVE: Dinner around the lake + onsen
Monday Hotspots around Kawaguchiko
Tuesday Other lakes
Wednesday Late AM: Check-out + lunch Early PM: Bus to Mishima Sta. Late PM: Tokaido Shinkansen to Nagoya Dinner: Asadaya (kishimen)
Thursday Late AM: Nagoya Castle Lunch: Misokatsu Yabaton (option: Yamamotoya) Early PM: Toyota CMIT Late PM: Noritake Garden Dinner: Sekai no Yamachan (tebasaki)
Friday Late AM: Tokugawaen / Tokugawa Art Museum Early PM: Shirakawa (hitsumabushi - eel) Late PM: Osu-kannon Temple / Osu Shipping Street Dinner: Tokugawa Hormone Center
June 8, Saturday Late AM: Checkout Early PM: Midland Square Late PM: Depart from Nagoya (Chubu) airport
Please let me know what you think about this itinerary. Weā€™ll be celebrating our wedding anniversary then so we want the trip to be as chill as possible. Suggestions for accommodations are very much welcome. Thank you!
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2024.05.14 17:21 Far-Ad-6626 Indian Wedding (Black tie optional or indian attire)

Indian Wedding (Black tie optional or indian attire) submitted by Far-Ad-6626 to Weddingattireapproval [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:44 ButterflyLatteVN FoMT ClairexHuang Wedding

FoMT ClairexHuang Wedding submitted by ButterflyLatteVN to storyofseasons [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:01 knudipper Denali Trip Report from 6/2023

Posting to help myself process the climb and provide thoughts for others thinking about Denali unguided on minimal experience. Open to thoughts and critique from people who know what they're doing. I'm obliged to thank all those who provided their thoughts and guidance to me on this subreddit a year ago. Also, to the guidance from Steve House and the other guy in their YouTube Denali video.
TLDR: Did not summit, learned lots.
It was a great idea... We trained pretty hard in the flatlands... We bought lots of good gear... and some not so good..... We were optimistic.....And realistic, we thought....
But... man, oh man. Denali is BIG, Alaska is BIG. And Talkeetna felt very small after 24 hours.
First alert was assembling our food. We drop shipped almost all the food to our hotel in Anchorage. We got in about 9pm, got everything from the desk and walked over to Wal Mart for the rest. Started packing food into daily rations about 10pm. We thought that would take 30 minutes. Try close to four hours, confusion, second guessing ourselves and each other on quantities, days, recipes. Got to sleep much later than we thought. We both worried that we'd be tired, maybe too tired for when we were dropped off on the glacier the next afternoon. HAH!!
Met Gary the shuttle driver the next morning. Watch some other TRs on YouTube and you'll get to know Gary, friendly, outgoing with good info about Talkeetna. We arrive on time, go through check in and somehow we got bumped out of our Ranger meeting. Come back later and we'll still have time to get to our flight. Did I mention it's overcast with light rain? Go through the ranger meeting, head over to TAT to find that we're 76th and 77th on the waitlist with. "Come back tomorrow at 8am for an update." Two guys we met on the shuttle actually make the plane that day because they understood the process with TAT and were all set to go after the Ranger meeting. Guy at TAT checks us in and takes our $$. No other info is offered or asked for. We're aware we need sleds and wands but we guess they just go on the plane with us.
We find the TAT climbing hostel and are grateful to find two bunks in the same room. My buddy is, not germophobic, but he is right up to that line. We eat at a restaurant that night, figuring, hey, 7 climbers per flight, 11 flights, mid afternoon tomorrow right? We check in at TAT at 8am, they're making waffles and have actually great coffee. But they have no idea if there'll be any flights today. Wander back and forth from the hostel, through town to the airfield. This is day 2 of 16 days we've given ourselves to go up. At day 16, no matter where we are, we go down.
Day 3, repeat day 2 but now we're using the hostel kitchen. I'm cool with the level of hygiene because this is only a level or two beyond how I grew up, when things got chaotic. I'm impressed with my buddy's fortitude, and grateful because I don't want to pay for food when it's already been bought. We hear good news that afternoon about the weather. Buddy suggests we get an AirBnB for this night to get a good nights sleep and clean shower before we likely fly out the next day.
Day 4, the weather starts to clear and now there's real activity at the airfield. My buddy, who doesn't sit still well, joins a group of workers at the airfield digging a trench. I sit on the deck, breathing deeply and hoping we can get out today. Then we get word we're up soon. Then I ask, hey what about sleds and wands? Find out climbers should get this arranged right after check in and we scramble around getting this set up. I grab a sled without looking it over well. As we and our gear are being driven over, I see this sled has some serious cracks and swap for a better one 10 minutes before we fly out.
The flight up is amazing. The transition on the glacier is hectic, a short controversy about which mountain can belongs to who and we get off the landing strip quick. We find a spot to set our tent a fair ways up the hill and get to work melting water for dinner and the next day. Take my skis out in order to prep for tomorrow and find the front straps of my skins have torn and are irreparable. I walk around camp, find a guy who's leaving who sells me his skins for $50. Can't believe how lucky I am. I walk around and get pictures, bury, wand and gps tag our cache. I'm blown away, I'm alive in a way I've only experienced a few other times in my life. I'm excited to get going in the wee hours of day 5. Plenty of days left, right?
Get up and going on time. Feels so good to be hauling the sled, carrying the pack. Going down is helpful. Going on flat and climbing isn't bad. I am working harder than my buddy(MB) from here on. He's 20 years younger and places top 5 in regional ultras, I'm a caboose guy at these. Anyhow, I feel like I'm holding him up, like he's disappointed in our pace. We arrive at 8K camp 8 hours later. MB points out that successful groups do this in 6hrs. I'm reply I'm working at a pace that I believe gets me to 14K in good shape, and what else did you want to do today? Ends fine, we each accept where the other one's at. Set up camp, Denali Pizza (simple and awesome) for dinner. Melt water, pull out the gear, food we'll cache at about 9.5K tomorrow. Good day, amazing as clouds lift a bit and we see more terrain.
Day 6, realize we're not eating 2 bagels each per day. We've over planned with bagels and several other foods. Too much weight but unsure about how to move things around. Lighter packs, lighter sleds and the first real climb. We do good work, talk a bit to teams coming down, most not having summitted. Bury, wand and GPS tag our cache. Tie empty sleds to our packs and head down. When we get to the real down hill, it's trashy, flat light, and I'll own this: I was rattled being off balance with a bit more weight and bulk going down. Got in my head and took some time to descend. MB frustrated or just me in my head? Got back down, did camp work, napped, ate dinner.
Day 7, push up to 11K. Snow picking up and visibility still good. I'm slower than MB again, and even though this is a fact we're both well aware of since we talked about Denali 3 years ago, it's in my head and won't leave that I'm holding us back. We start up the first real climb into 11 camp. Wind blown snow is making wands hard to see, we're using his Garmin to verify the route. The skins I bought at the airfield don't cover the width of my skis at the tips and tails. As we're taking an aggressive elevation gain on switchbacks, I'm slipping more and more with less skin to snow contact. We crest the rise and hike through the camp to find a spot at the uphill end. We begin setting up camp. I mention looking forward to having a kitchen tent now that we'll be in the same place for 3 days. MB basically says, go ahead but I don't think we need that and I won't be part of digging it out or setting it up. I get started probing an area, setting the outline of the dig and then realize this will take me hours and give up. Dinner, melt water, discuss tomorrow's back hauling. I propose we boot down from 11 camp and put skis on at the base of the climb and MB seems okay with it.
Day 8, wake up to heavy snow. Dig out our enclosure and have breakfast. Put more food we didn't eat into the "carry forward bag" which is getting heavier by the meal. Dig out again, and again, and again. Mid-afternoon we start getting weather reports through garmin in-reach texts with a guy back home and from other teams and guides. Consensus in 6 more days of this but up to 48" per day. I run the math: 8+6=14. Hmmm: 16-14=2. Then I run the flights per day math and number of teams we've seen descending, number of teams likely to descend with this forecast. My math says we could be stuck here 6 days and at the airfield for that or more. All for 2 more possible days of ascent. MB disagrees and wants to wait it out. We walk through various scenarios and I hold firm. MB agrees we'll go down because we both agreed if one wanted to go down for any reason, that was that. MB is a guy who holds to his word in this and all aspects of life.
We pack up. Fast...and sloppy. We want to fly out tomorrow. I'm not excited anymore, I'm anxious and want off Denali. Not be in a tent for two weeks in snow. We boot down the hill below 11 camp, put on skis and find our cache at 9.5, combine stuff. I get my stuff packed well. We start down. The track is blown in and we are navigating entirely by Garmin, using the standard route. Not reversing our climb up, which followed the visible track and wands. Are we actually on safe snow? We're both thinking that question but not saying it out loud. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm in front setting the track so MB's sled has something to ride in. If he's in front, his sled tips over. He's calling directions to me for the route, "Left...more left...rightish... too far."
We head down the last hill into 8 camp. I allow my sled to be in front of me and steer it like reins on a horse. Snow plow, keep it slow and things are moving along fine for me. MB wipes out over and over. Repacks his sled and gets down the last 200 yards well. We ski right through 8 camp. Someone asks if we're headed down and then says that if we call in to the airfield from there, we're already in line. True or not, we're finishing this in one push. Visibility is still about 15 feet but now we have a track to follow. We're both cautious with the downs. Don't know if we need to let it rip to go up again or if there's a corner we need to be slow for. We get to the airfield in 9.5 hours. Dig up our cache and consolidate our gear.
MB decides he'd rather not cowboy camp with the fly and we set up the tent and go to sleep. Up at the appointed hour and get in the flight queue. The guy says he'll give us plenty of notice so we can take down our tent, IF we fly out today. I am now watching every cloud for signs of building or diminishing. A few planes fly in, circle and leave. We're napping on and off.
Then I hear the guy yelling, "that's your plane". It's being loaded. We're 200 yards away in our fully set up tent, pads and bags. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. I go down and ask "what happened?" "I don't know, two guys snaked your flight." Talk a bit more about other stuff, what he's been reading, we're into some similar literature. He then guarantees we'll be on the next flight that comes in, whether today or tomorrow. I'm listening for airplanes full on now, just want to get down and be off the mountain.
We do get on a flight that day, get a hotel and move flights and shuttle to fly out of Anchorage tomorrow. I walk down by the river and call my wife. "Honey, this will sound weird, I need you to tell me I'm really off the mountain and not dreaming." This helps a lot.
We make all our connections and fly out, get back home the next day. If you got this far, thanks, I guess. It's cathartic to write all this down. I replay this trip or parts of it every couple weeks even now. MB and I did our repair work and still call, text, hang out, run together when I'm in town. I do not regret going one bit, yet not getting further up still hits me hard. My fears and reaction to niggling discomforts on the mountain tell me I'm weak.
If I did it again:
  1. No skis on Denali for me. I'm a competent skier and can get down serious stuff out west without embarrassing myself. A pack and a sled skiing down through crud with low visibility? Snow shoes all...the...way.
  2. 4 people, not two. Enough guys to set up a kitchen tent, split camp duties into smaller tasks. I need a place to spread out, talk, cook and eat in a comfortable position.
2A. Allow way more time, a month total.
  1. Better conversations about pace and relative speed well before the trip.
  2. We did ropes work, simulated crevasse rescue, camped out in -10F. More time winter camping and skinning in the woods together.
  3. MB and I climbed Mt Adams. We summitted Rainier together unguided in 8/2022. Took a 3 day custom guided mountaineering class in 12/2021 to learn skills. Didn't go above 7K in the class. Handled our shit well for two days. Not enough time to really know what we're in for physically and work through team frictions about pace, leisure time, camp life. Maybe we could have climbed Rainier and Baker on the same trip? Maybe spend several days at Camp Muir and summit twice? Climb Rainier early season?
  4. Guided if I try again? Maybe.
I read this back and the inner critic says, "I'm a whiny bitch", just like when I am thinking about it every couple weeks. If I go back it can't be about that, not trying to prove that voice wrong. If I go back...it'll be because of that alive feeling I got on the airfield glacier, to have it again, to avail myself of a second chance to live a dream.
Thanks for reading all this. Part confessional, part TR.
I feel better.
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2024.05.13 19:58 Familiar_Design7131 Price help

Price help
Iā€™m about to purchase a new 23 mt09sp and I want to know if this is a fair price?
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2024.05.13 18:35 punknprncss Wedding Guest Dress Regrets...Help me decide

I am attending a wedding this weekend, I bought my dress early because I have anxiety and was afraid of waiting until the last minute. Wedding is "black tie optional" so basically formal.
We are attending with two other couples, the women went together and bought dresses and they both look stunning. I keep feeling my dress is inadequate compared to their dresses.
Between time and finances - I'm limited on getting another dress. My best option is a local re-seller shop (similar to a goodwill but a local store), but they are not open until Wednesday.
Advice - keep the dress I have or see if I can find something else quickly.
Link to my dress: https://zapaka.com/products/dark-green-1920s-sequined-flapper-dress?currency=USD&variant=31310998437986&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=00ecca6a5505&utm_term=&utm_campaign=C153-20210903%E6%95%88%E6%9E%9C%E6%9C%80%E5%A4%A7%E5%8C%96-1920s+Dress&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=3693312833&hsa_cam=14500287077&hsa_grp=&hsa_ad=&hsa_src=x&hsa_tgt=&hsa_kw=&hsa_mt=&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw9IayBhBJEiwAVuc3fugs204DqMA-zNQBE7nZZ2PYagH6DaBwgKboMjnlGTAZBL3s8IkvlRoChNAQAvD_BwE
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2024.05.13 15:42 AwesomeTiger6842 WIBTBA if I have my sister and cousin walk me down the isle at my wedding instead of my mom?

This is purely a hypothetical situation. Also, to prove this account isn't a bot, here are two of my older posts from the account i used to post on:
THT Post
AITBA Post
Anyway, for simplicity, everyone's fake names will be as follows: Tammy (my sister), Layla (my cousin), Kira (my SIL), my mom, Blake/Jackson/Cyprus (my brothers), Mila (a former teacher who's my friend now and is okay with me calling her by her first name), and Fiora (a woman I'm chatting with currently).
Also, for more context, my sister, Tammy, is technically my half-sister. We have a very close relationship, so I just call her my sister. I don't really need to distinguish if she's my full blood sister or my half sister because I'd love her all the same no matter what.
Anyway, let's get into the story:
Alright, so, I'm a 21 year-old gay woman and also an agnostic atheist (trust me, this part will be relevant later on). As someone in her early 20s, I've thought a lot about how I'd want my wedding to go, whom I'd want in my bridal party, etc. Even though I'm not getting married for a while, I've been thinking about these things for a long time.
I'm currently talking to Fiora (29, Trans MtF). I really like this woman and she's really cool. We've been talking for almost a month and a half. We video chatted a couple times (we're talking on Snapchat) and they were a bit awkward. We click really well. We were going to meet on April 12th, but had to cancel because we had issues with rides.
I'll be honest and say that while Fiora being Transgender and having started her transition isn't a problem for me, I know it'll be a problem for my family. My family is transphobic and thinks that people who are Trans are lying about their gender identity. Especially my mom's side of the family. I know Blake (24M) will be the first to jump on the fact that she wasn't born a female and delegitimize the relationship when he meets her if she and I do decide we want to date after we're able to meet in person for the first time.
My mom's side of the family is very Catholic because that's how they were raised. They always talk about how gay marriage shouldn't be allowed in church because of the whole "love the sinner, not the sin" bs. As a gay woman, I want to speak up and say something every time this happens, but I just hold my tongue and keep my head down because I'm not trying to out myself to them. Also being an agnostic atheist makes me want to challenge them on their beliefs, but I don't do this either because I don't want them or my mom to know that I don't believe in religion.
Blake was never supportive of my journey to a better understanding of myself. Kira (21F) also hasn't really been supportive of me either. I didn't exactly come out to them when I was ready, and when I did they just interrogated me and belittled me. She and I were 20 at the time.
I told my oldest brother, Jackson (30M), over text that I'm gay. I dont think he quite understood what I meant when I told him this. He has some misplaced concern about me being gay, I guess. But that response wasn't as bad as Blake and Kira's response was. He was 29 when I came out to him. My other brother, Cyprus (28M), doesn't know I'm gay yet. I want to tell him, but I have my reservations given Blake and Kira's reaction.
I told my sister, Tammy (56F) and cousin, Layla (30-something F), five months apart from each other. Both had perfect reactions to me coming out to them. Layla is and has been married to her wife for seven years, so needless to say, she was extremely happy when I came out to her in October 2023. I told Tammy five months later and she was also very happy that I trusted her enough to tell her that I'm gay. She's accepting and supportive.
Last May was when I came out to Mila (32F) and my mom (61F). Mila is very accepting of me. My mom said she was supportive, but I've never truly felt like she is. I love my mom, however, she's said a lot of things in the past that make me think she wouldn't want me to marry a woman.
To add a little more context to my and Blake's relationship, I looked up to him when we were kids, but now I can't look up to him anymore. The brother I knew as a kid just isn't recognizable anymore. Now, he's just so hateful and hostile toward me because I'm gay. Kira and I used to be best friends, but now we're just in-laws to me. I can't see her as my best friend anymore and there's a whole backstory to that. Maybe I can write a post about that some other time.
Now, to the part where I'm wondering if I'd be the bad apple. I've thought about who I'd want to be an active part of my wedding when I get married. I want Tammy and Layla to walk me down the isle because I'm very close to both of them. I'm close with my mom, but I don't know if I'd want her to be the one to walk me down the isle. Mila and I are close friends and I see her as a second sister and I'd love her to be my MOH. I'd also have some of my friends I graduated with and a few of my other cousins as my bridesmaids.
I don't want my mom to be an active part of the wedding, but I'd still invite her to my wedding. I want her to be a guest instead of the one walking me down the isle. Also, by extention, I don't want to invite Blake and Kira to my future wedding for the obvious reasons. I especially don't want to invite Blake because he's threatened me with violence in the past if I don't marry a man.
I'm looking for some outside perspectives. I don't think this would make me the bad apple, however, some unbiased perspectives would be very helpful. So, WIBTBA if I have my sister and cousin walk me down the isle at my wedding instead of my mom? Also, would I be the bad apple if I just wanted my mom as a guest and to not invite Blake and Kira?
(I'm AwesomeKitty6842, btw.)
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2024.05.13 15:42 BigDumbGreenMong One month to explore the country between Chicago and Yellowstone

I'm planning a trip with my wife and three kids (aged between 10 and 14) for the whole of August 2025. We're going to fly into Chicago from the UK, hire a car, and drive to Yellowstone then back again for the flight home.
We want to visit national parks, historic towns, and any other points of interest around that region. So far we've listed Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Jackson Hole, Cody, Deadwood, Mt Rushmore and Devils Tower, as places we'd like to see, and I'd love to hear any suggestions for other places we could work into the route.
We've mostly been focused on Yellowstone, but I know there's probably a lot that we should see closer to the Chicago side of the trip too.
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2024.05.12 17:52 dragonwolf60 Paper or dna which is more interesting

I see so many people on hear talking about there dna test this and that. Like the results are writen in stone and that the dna info is so much better than actual records. I have been able to trace Mt genealogy back to when the came to north America several generations though actual records which I find south ore interesting than dna. I have no interest in dna results, would not want connect with individuals who would be a dna match. I have found the war records of a great uncle who died in ww1, a great aunt who was a nurse in ww1 Even a great great what ever grandfather who on wedding record show in was born in Jamaica ( for reference family tree is all irish scottish danish) and a other great whatever grandfather who came from Ireland and is buried 20 mins from where I currently live. Having my ancestors go from there to the other coast and back agian over generations Which to me is so much more interesting. So my question is which do find more interesting dna, actual records or a combination of the two?
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2024.05.12 14:46 AmericanPulisic The letter T

Canā€™t quite work out any reason for this but hence why I am posting on here (you lot are smarter than me lol). In Steveā€™s Twitter (X) post he mentioned ā€˜Train, Trolleyā€¦ā€™ which makes me think all of the locations will start with the letter T. I also remembered in boo to a goose thereā€™s a bit where Wilma says ā€˜The Teacher, the Tramp and the Terroristā€™. Can anyone see any significance?
Iā€™m probably looking into this too much but wanted to see if anyone had any ideas.
submitted by AmericanPulisic to insideno9 [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 08:14 Celmisiaa AITA for asking my (now ex) boyfriend to get a strep throat test after getting sick multiple times in the past month and ruining our relationship.

EDIT: Since someone asked for a TLDR I've added one::: Please understand there is a lot of information to have to compact here which I do not believe can accurately fit into a short TLDR but here goes.
TLDR: I had repeated strep throat infections resulting in over a months worth of constant antibiotics. I asked (ex) bf to please get a test for it as well. He refused and seemed angry. Ghosted me for 3 days then came back calling me self-centered. I tried to reason with him and figure out what his point of view is but instead he ghosted me for 3 days before finally saying he was too busy to reply due to work and stressful job changes. We talked a bit and returned to regular conversation for the following 3 weeks. He came over to stay after going to an event together then left suddenly and despite him previously saying we'd spend golden week together. He has since ignored me for another week.
:::UPDATE::: I have my house key back. He came to my house to give it back and we had a small chat about wtf has been up with him. Unsurprisingly he didn't have reasons for things. Only saying suddenly going on dates costs too much money ( I always offer to pay but he insists he has to) and that his job change is too stressful. Therefore we "no longer match". Whatever the hell that means. He also gave weak excuses that we didn't match because I like gardening and he doesn't and then proceeds to say my clothing and the fact I wear makeup doesn't suit 'his' style. Srsly fuck this guy. We parted ways and he was unable to clearly say we're broken up saying he's got a lot to think about. He can go think all he wants but for me obviously it's over. He suddenly sent me a few random messages last night about starting his new job early and how he's got an exam to take in October. Least to say I didn't reply as I see no point and fail to see what he is trying to achieve.
Thank you everyone for your comments and support !!! This whole event has triggered anxiety attacks for me but I'm receiving treatment for that. The doctor also believes after I have finished my recent 2 week course of mild antibiotics I should be cleared of strep throat. It's been a long journey. ā€--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'd like to start off with I'm a big fan of the podcast and I hope that posting here will help me organize my feelings and perhaps make me see things a different way.
::Warning:: This make take some time to get into the T. Please bare with me and thank you
Starting off I'd like to make it clear that prior to this incident nothing in our relationship seemed out of place. We talked often and despite our busy work schedules would try to meet up atleast once every week or two weeks to spend time together.
About a month ago now, I (30F) was diagnosed with severe strep throat that has reoccured 3 times. Each time I start to get sick the glands in my throat swell up like golf balls so bad that I look like a croaking toad. Swelling and aside it's often accompanied by high fevers close to 40Ā°c (104F). This resulted in trips to the hospital where I was misdiagnosed (This is not uncommon where I live, but that's a separate story) and I ended up just suffering through until my regular doctors clinic would open. During this time my (ex) boyfriend (32M) stood by my side looking after me, changing my cooling pads and made sure my temperature didn't go higher even going so far to take time off his jobs (he has 2) just to look after me through my fevers.
All things seems to be fine again as I began to recover while on antibiotics from my regular doctor. The following weekend we were to meet up for a date and he chose Mt Yoshino, a very popular spot from cherry blossom viewing. I ask him atleast 3 different times if he was sure he'd like to go there as the hike up the mountain is fairly significant. Before we left to go on the trip I checked one last time as I didn't think his shoes were the most suitable, nor his white loose fit pants (as they could get stained) He said there were no issues and we proceeded with the trip. Despite me pre-warning him that it was a long and very uphill hike he solidered on and he later admitted that perhaps he hadn't made the best choice for our date this time. I reassured him that I don't mind at all because I enjoying being around nature and walking and that I'd done this hike once before. He stayed over that evening and everything seemed perfectly fine.
UNTIL
Wednesday morning disaster stuck again as I was hit by swelling and high fevers again. I again went to the doctors to have a check up and was told I have strep again (still) and they would be trying a different course of antibiotics. I was pretty distraught by this as also asked my (ex) boyfriend to please get a test as well. I was worried because he'd spend a lot of time looking after me maybe he'd caught it. He refused and then coldly said "I'm too busy" I replied saying I was worried and to please get one and I'm sorry if it upset him by asking him to also take the test.
This is where I was met with his first ever instance of him ghosting me. Over the 3 days he ghosted me I kept my messages to a minimum trying to accept that he might just need some time to cool off. I thought what I had asked him to do was not so completely unreasonable given how strep throat can easily spread and carriers exists as well.
Well his silence broke 3 days later. He said "I'm not angry. I just think you're being self centered"
I WAS SHOCKED !
I proceeded to try and ask him why he felt that way but he wouldn't give a clear answer. He only said that we shouldn't meet until I'm better because that's how we should deal with infectious diseases. I thought his words and behavior were strange and I tried to explain that by asking him to get a test was I in no way blaming him. It was just a precaution.
He then went SILENT for another day or so and came back said " Sorry my job isn't going well as it's commission based and I have a lot of concerns" He then went on to say again that I was a bit selfish and finished off with this gem a line like Spidermans Uncle "You are free to choose your actions, but with freedom comes responsibility."
At this point I tried not to feel angry since he is showing signs of deep stress. I pointed out that I am here for him and I'd like to support him in anyway I can and that I'm worried about the continous stress his job and my sickness has caused him. I suggested we have a proper sit down and talk so he can express how he's feeling better.
:::: At this point I should mention while I speak English my (ex) boyfriend does not. Therefore we usually converse in Japanese. However, for some reason druning this conversation he chose to use what i assumed was a translation app:::
I also tried to ask him how can I make him feel more comfortable. Did he need more space apart to relax and think. Or had I been asking him to help too much recently. I let him know I'm eternally grateful for everything he's done for me and with me over the past 6 months.
His reply came saying " You told me I should go to the hospital, but you always didn't listen to my advice. And reading your message, I got the feeling that you were only worried about yourself."
I questioned him about this and what he meant by it. As we both know going to a hospital has not worked in the past and my current doctor is the only one who seems to be able to listen to my symptoms and prescribed medicine. I also apologized if my words had made him feel I only cared for myself. I was merely worried about his condition and mine had become so bad. He then said my comments were double standard which I couldn't understand.
The conversation continues and it feels like he's just trying to take hits at me through the messages I'll be honest gaslighting. (If anyone wants pictures I'll try find them)
It boiled eventually to me telling him he had really hurt my feelings by ignoring me for 3 days, and I understand he is stressed but if he needs to have a shutdown moment like that again to please just say I'm feeling stressed/overwhelmed and want to take some time. That in the very least is better than ghosting your partner to wonder what happend.
3 weeks passed and we reverted to somewhat regular conversation, and if I'm being completely honest, I felt that if I pushed him more on the subject he'd have further withdrawn so I tried to draw us back to a happier place. Both of us had been very busy. On top of my continuous doctors trips and different antibiotics I started a new job and was having a good time settling in and realizing my new company treated me 1000% better than what I had left.
We agreed to meet up and spend time together during golden week as he had said he had 4/27 ~ 5/6 off from work which matched almost with my schedule of 5/3 ~ 5/5 We met up during that weekend. I had chosen a meat festival even to go to nearby as he really enjoys eating BBQ and meat. We hadn't seen each other in about 3 weeks and since that initial "fight" so I could tell he looked awkward when we met up. I tried to lighten the mood and play some cute couple hand games and decide what to eat together. His mood seemed to be more relaxed and lifed after this (or perhaps he was just starving up till then, you decide) After the meat festival, we went to a firework event just a bit further out from the city. We were both taking lots of videos and pictures.
IT WAS AT THIS MOMENT that I realized since our initial conflict over the strep throat he'd be hiding his Instagram from me. I had been aware in the back of my head that for about a month I'd not seen any of his stories but had just pushed worries aside, and we'd been messaging still. It got brought to my attention more clearly as I could see him posting to his story which I couldn't view. I turned to him at this stage and tried to casually ask him about it.
Me " Hey I can't seem to view your Instagram posts" Him passive but awkward face Me " did you block me or something?" I asked jokingly as I knew he hadn't. Him "No it's just difficult to explain" Me: "I'll do my best to understand " Him: "No, it's difficult"
Least to say that small pit on anxiety I'd been feeling for 3 weeks sent me sick to my stomach. I tried to reassure myself maybe he's just tired or is being considerate of my language ability. But it continued to nag at my gut as to what possible reason he could have anyway to start hiding it since our initial "fight" 3 weeks ago.
After the fireworks finished we went back to my house for a few last drinks and to go to sleep. The whole night I remember tossing and turning awake because he was wanting to initiate s#x and I was just so exhausted I didn't want any. ( I've mentioned this to him several time that there's nothing wrong I'm just extremely tired and want to sleep first, which he has normally accepted) He got what he wanted in the morning anyway once we were both awake and fairly well rested.
As it was my impression that we had the whole weekend together I said I wanted to go to the home center to get some things for my garden and I'd like a bit of help getting rid of some spiders and this giant 2m thistle that was posing dangers to the road below.
At the home center, I noticed he did not seem enthusiastic at all. I asked him twice if he was okay, was he feeling stressed? That we could go if he didnt like it here and I'm happy to carry the basket and head to the counter . He kept insisting he was fine despite the growing discontent on his face. I tried to quickly finish up and pay as per past experiences over the last 3- 4 weeks he is not wiliing to express his feelings to me.
We arrived back at my house and I asked him if he'd like a break or some lunch. He simply said he was fine and proceeded to sit in the house entryway while I freed the plants from their bags. He stayed sitting down until I asked him for help with a few weeds as I tackled some bigger tree cuttings. He worked for 5-10 minutes before saying he'd sit down for a break. He took a break for 45mins and didn't speak to me, just kept looking down at his phone watching videos or tiktoks. As I was finishing up putting the biggest plant in the ground he suddenly announced he's be going home to shower. I said he's more than welcome to use the one in my house but he continued with wanting to do laundry and play games at home to relax. I became upset by this as it was my understanding we'd be spending golden week together and 50min for some much needed gardening wouldn't be a problem ( if anyone asks, yes he knew I wanted to do a bit of gardening and cleaning up before he came to stay) I finally asked for his help with this 2m long thistle and then I'd walk him back to the station. The whole walk back he just continued to ask if I was angry. At the time I replied yes because he was going home so suddenly.
When we said goodbye at the station, you could cut the tension with a knife. I tried to hold back my tears as we were in public and I just felt so frustrated. We hugged and said goodbye quickly and just like that he was gone.
I felt pretty bad once I got home, and given how things had been going I had wanted to be able to give him a proper goodbye but didn't know of I'd be able to hold back tears. I sent him the following message after we parted ways
怌I'm not angry. Im just feeling very lonely at the moment. I've missed seeing you these past 3 weeks. I felt very sad when we said goodbye and had the impression we'd be spending more time together. We haven't decided on when next to see each other, and Golden week is the longest holiday period for the whole year. We don't know when will see each other next. I miss you怍
What are your thoughts everyone. Have I really been self centered and not properly considering his feelings? Thank you for taking the time to read all of this.
Edit: Apologies for my crappy spelling and grammar. I've tried to fix some
::::::::::Note::::::::: I feel like this has leaned a bit far from the title at this stage but I'll add that after we met up I went to to doctors again and was told I have strep throat again and am on further antibiotics
Since my last message from above was sent he has not replied and gone full ghost.
This man also has a key to my house that I'd need back
I am a New Zealand F and he is a Japanese M. If that matters to anybody.
I didn't use a throwaway account as I figured there's no possibility of him or his friends seeing this anyway and I'm feeling a bit too down in the dumps to make a separate account. I barely use this one for anything anyway
::::EDIT:::: There are a number of comments expressing concerns about stds and for me to get checked. I get checked regularly as it is the normal thing to do for one's safety. I purely just have reoccurring strep throat infections. No stds here. Thank you all the commenter's who were concerned over this.
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