Closure from relationship quotes

Inspirational Ideas

2016.11.06 01:24 fallen_star87 Inspirational Ideas

A subreddit for discussing positive, inspiring and enlightening thoughts from around the internet.
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2009.01.10 06:20 Lets talk about life!

Inspire us. Tell a story. Tell us about your life. How's it going? Good? Great? OK? Not so great? Either way, we want to hear it.
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2017.02.02 21:15 A place to encourage emotional and over- eaters when feeling down

Inspired by jspost, this subreddit is here to help people struggling with having a healthy relationship with food. A place meant for cheering people on, just as you would cheer someone on in a marathon, except this marathon is life.
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2024.05.16 13:40 Incman [long read, ~10 mins] I delivered "goodbye for now" letter to nMom that I still rent a room from, and I'm feeling vulnerable but also hopeful for my own future.

[I just recently learned of this community after I had shared this in the raisedbynarcissists sub, and I couldn't figure out how to crosspost it so I'm just copy&pasting]
As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding my nMom's treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship".
 
Reading through some of the posts on this sub over the past day or so has been very validating, as one thing she's always been extremely committed to is making sure she's the loudest voice in my life telling me how invalid all of my emotions and experiences and realities are.
 
I am very grateful for anyone who takes the time to read this post, and any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is welcome and appreciated (especially on the topic of being NC-except-as-a-tenant). Her lifelong response to my needs or inconvenient requests for respect or attempts to hold her accountable for her behaviour (throughout literally hundreds and hundreds of interactions that she has walked away from or hung-up on) has essentially been "tl;dr 🖕". So I'm acutely aware of the length of what I'm written, and I'm very used to her cold (or even mocking) avoidance and dismissal of valid issues by commenting on the length or format of my communications without ever engaging on the merits.
 
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the full letter (all of the square-bracketed disclaimers and AI-summary are part of the letter as delivered to her, to try and counter the acute and selective illiteracy she develops whenever she begins to read something she doesn't like):
 
[Start of Letter]
 
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
 
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
 
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
 
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
 
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
 
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
 
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
 
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
 
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
 
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
 
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
 
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
 
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
 
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
 
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
 
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
 
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
 
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
 
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
 
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
 
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
 
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
 
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
 
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
 
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
 
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
 
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
 
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
 
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
 
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
 
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
 
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
 
- [my name]
 
[/End of Letter]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)
submitted by Incman to EstrangedAdultKids [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:39 JobHunter2 What is Christian Religious Education?

Introduction

Christian religious education is defined as the process where by Christian learning takes place. It often involves “teaching which enables practicing Christians to adopt and deepen their Christian belief, values and dispositions to experience and act in a Christian way. It depends to a greater extent on how this process is adopted and practiced in different churches.

Different practices in Christian education in local churches

At some degree of certainty that all Christian churches have a similar aim’s and practices. The liturgical aspect is of paramount importance in the Trinitarian belief and practices in that it serves as introduction to what Christianity is all about. This is where the process of Cognitive learning takes places it involves the worship service where hymns are sang, lessons extracted from the books of the bible are read, sermon often punctuated with exhortation, admonishment and instruction in righteous living is delivered and prayers are said. It also involves the celebration of the holy Eucharist which Jesus Christ himself, recognized as the head of the church, initiated based on experience acquired in the worship service, it can be seen as Christian religious education is a confessional churchly activity of evangelism, instruction and nurture.
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I assure that “Youth are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion”. Today, common inhabitants do pray and accept the holiness in church for Christ which they are aware that Christ constitutes the sacred bread and wine, but do not entirely act upon worshipping and fail to confront the thoughts and feelings to masses which would spread dignity of godliness among selves. The moral lies in the fact that this creates lackness to reach spiritual beliefs through worship and liturgy resulting in declination the faith which affects the divine nature approaching positivity.
Christian education is a vital important part in youth development. For Christian education to be explored, generation of today should be brought into contact through various practices. In the early centuries, reformers emphasized and trusted true faith and doctrines, to change and reform behaviour as the only solution for salvation in Christian education. Christian school movements prove a challenge as a messenger to convey god’s given mission and honour god.

Traditional approach

This approach was practiced since many decades and is still continued to be practiced which helps in binding and governing the ethics and morality within the religion and belief. Since beginning described, in leaving our homeland to teach the gospels throughout the world through scriptures, god conveyed his message – by sending his son Jesus for us, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Church, and Baptism for building unity.
Christianity consists of three things – Religious faith, way of life and community of mankind towards salvation are most important. The most vital of all belief preached is that there is only one god. The term Christian does not imply on the fact that a Christian should grow up in a Christian community, but precisely accepts Christian faith and belief, follows and leads the path of life on which Jesus walked on and made mankind accept Christian community through involvement and participation physically and mentally, as a result, traditional approach is how the local churches and preachers go about conducting their services. The apostle’s creed was apparently developed to summarize the Christian doctrine for man who baptised himself.

Theological and Biblical approach

This approach is regarded as an abstract discipline which teaches what bible is written. It is the study of god expressing god’s thought. The movement of bible indicates the doctrines to the kerygma to didache, to theological ethics, to revealed truth, to the way of living in Christian community.
God’s salvation to the world, worshipping the holy spirit, baptizing people in the name of god, preaching gospels as the word of god, share Christ’s own body and blood as bread and wine in holy communion, repenting and confessing god’s forgiveness etc are the concepts of theological and biblical foundation to Christian education. Even though mankind is aware but fail to involve due to the increasing evil and greed.
The service is organized to accept the call of god and to love him and others and which aims to gather people to worship him in return allowing him to take control over the world and through his presence spread peace, righteousness, justice, joy and helps in the growth of the life in an individual through increased faith.

Activities organized and performed in different local churches through to these practices

Some churches develop the initiative of the worshippers by confessing their faith in the words of the apostle creed. Each activity is correlated and composes a range of varied elements. Their current activities reflect the lives of an individual and drive them for a purpose through various numbers of activities to attain a better quality of life.
Due to activities, all age group gain variety of skills through many spiritual centred activities. Church acts as an interpreter between god and the worshippers to support in training the composition of these activities which are far more complex to solve a disturbed youth. They have to thereby standardize their curriculum and activities in regards to implement it. Different denominations organize activities to resolve the aim therefore to meet the need of the youth. Curriculum should be more focused than just on providing knowledge.
Activities are necessarily planned to build youth commitment. I believe it is necessary to reach them, i.e. train them to be strong future leaders. They should be kept one step ahead, for their life is very challenging. I believe that the best way to outreach youths mind is to be a youth like them to understand their psychology as it differs from every individual. The same activities do get affected as the youth is choosy and subtle.

Changing activities for tomorrow

Here the question is voiced that, what substantial change can be brought apart from the current activities to eradicate the above upcoming and dynamic problems in nature with respect to behavioural management or of what medication of healing would work out.
I would comment, the activities in the practices should be expanded and conduct likewise programmes workshops on educating purity before marriage, sex, child abuse, exploitation, rape, adultery, adolescence sex, teenage mothers, drugs addiction, aids, and divorce. Workshops, seminars for sex, abuse, peer mentoring, identifying preventive measures instead of curative measures targeting the social, political and the economical factors would be effective for incorporating the overall issues to bring the insight of the good and evil sides of every consequence, discussion on essential real life skills. Our goal is to create “world changers”, inviting the sacrifiers of evil and giving and sharing healthy priorities to save ourselves and the world, before it becomes a terrible fate and a debt for our own selves.
As the world is in unsafe fists of crime, terrorism, corruption, violence, youth have been diverted to a fast-paced and expects instant opportunities. Perhaps, the approaches of these local activities tend to be helpful and may bring positive results but I still feel that there is something missing, to monitor the youth from within. In an article – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, by Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), submitted on, May 18, 1997, states that, “In a world that is so busy, and demands so much of all of its inhabitants, young people need a secure environment, where they can experiment and decide who they want to be. They need significant people to be there to help them through this process. They need role models to follow”.
Above statement eventually satisfies the fact that these folks are craving for friendly support socially and for stimulation. Overall factors which conglomerate are peers, parents, teachers, church members and Christian community. All factors rely on one common feature which constitutes leadership. Ironically, most youth do understand the surrounding factors but the factors themselves become tough unknowingly that they can’t quite control the situation which then becomes too late to recover. The task is questioned commonly as what kind of leader a person should be to prove creditability and capability to influence the youth to pursue the direction towards god? In an article again stated by, Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, submitted on, May 18, 1997, “Young people are not just “little adults” (cf. Elkind 1984:18). They are complex individuals who are battling to deal with the awesome transformation of their bodies, minds, and emotions. They are in a time of transition and growth, developing from the birthed bundle of potential to a fully integrated, functional member of society. The church is in a unique position to assist in this process”. Church as a role model fosters spiritual growth in every youth making them responsible to participate in Christian faith; she is a sign for an entrance of the god’s kingdom to the world of salvation, repentance, justice and peace to bring equality. She struggles hard and performs her duties wholly and solemnly reminds parents to structure their offspring’s life in Christian formation.
Church members acting as supporters, preach to establish and to promote a platform and share to encourage several types of civic, cultural, religious educational associations. In an article by Arthur Paul Boer – What must a Pastor know? Reflection on Congregational studies defines on writer James Hopewell’s statement saying beyond the embarrassment. “He has also observed that churches are sometimes chagrined by the change of hypocrisy and lament that they cannot measure upto ideals of Christian community”. Writer James Hopewell referred by Arthur Paul Boer notes that Christian leaders are incharge and build a church thereby rise in hypocrites. I observe practically that, though the world is changing, church strategy is also changing in complementing the growth. It still targets the set mission. Even though, somewhere in the corner hypocrites do exist but church leaders aim to find out what is the outcome in the people from the traditional, theological and biblical practices.
Perhaps according my research, I suggest they experiment bringing out good approaches to youth’s growth. Instead of the current activities followed in churches I would want to suggest the approach can be focused to bring in the outcome irrespective to exploration and innovation of ideas and thoughts for internal and external behaviour of an individual related to the surroundings around him, deepening of commitments to the teaching, provide opportunities to analyse socially and theologically and viewing his life in a theological manner. To build a framework of an activity consist of – to have an experience “like us”, to sense new boundaries by exploring new links to every Christian among themselves and to god across social and cultural boundaries.
In addition, exploration and inventive programmes can be executed to judge youth’s spirituality. Daily opportunities resulting in disorientation gets support through mission of god. Integration conceptual activities also can help in building and to capture ‘a born leader’. Church leader serves them as task leaders in the corrosion and freeing the task of a disconnected mind by planning tactics and dividing the burden of other’s through consultation. As the purpose is commitment, to serve the lost, skill based leadership formation training programmes can be organized to develop an effective leader so as to sustain the capability and capacity of the leader to solve the complaints lies in the dimensions of the ability. Workshops on intersections to shape boundaries of an individual and communities through theological and biblical language, symbols, and rituals to attain certain centered objectives.
As growth of globalization is tremendous, these leaders come across and face new opportunities and challenges. I believe they help in building an integral performance in conducting entrepreneurial business-based activities, describing the activities because youth’s mind is business-oriented, therefore the activities are to be structured keeping business in mind involving biblical and theological approaches with the existing resources for a business oriented youth. They tend to produce facilitate management sources to sustain and develop faith and love. When the youth develops a church from within, he will be able to observe and analyse the holistic environment.
The activities require presence of not only church members but also worshippers for youth development in successful implementation of these practices. Some worshippers form in small groups, some large varied to race culture. Arthur Paul Boer also examines simultaneously that when a group of pastors were having service of congregation, one among them exclaimed in deep breath “It showed me I’m not alone”. So often in our churches we berate ourselves for problems we face: not enough men, too few youth, preponderance of a certain race or culture. He is clear with the fact that a single person fails, unity increases strength. We ourselves give birth to a problem and then strive hard to face it because as there are few leaders left to catch a grip to support a large community. Due to less number of youth, less support is achieved to sustain the laws and policies of the church and unable to accomplish god’s mission. It is not only one who contributes but many. Above mentioned statement “It showed me I’m not alone” expresses that each race and culture form their own group; build small churches for their own community within their own boundaries, where god expects togetherness, wholeness. It requires lot of efforts to help small churches grow whereas large church with mass contribution grows as their already exist efforts in large numbers which take over the chained actions for development. Whether single church group or many, big or small, the development is important.
On this contradiction, I would suggest that this also includes that in small group the development is paid more attention and given a close eye, problems are spotted quickly and easily to meet the challenges. No matter how large or small challenges occur, the way we approach it is unique and comprehensive as this brings out effects of development in the youth. Whereas in large it becomes difficult to assist as there are more than one individuals. Due to small groups according to races and culture, differentiation exists. But the important criterion is group commitment and work effort in all sets of practice for congregations in any race or culture for a healthy youth so that to accomplish god’s mission. As a result both objectives are co-related to each other.
To understand the nature of Christian youth it is a very distinguished and a unique phenomenon. Due to the increasing issues of ‘peer pressure’, this has led to the obstruction in the development of youth. There are negative as well as positive aspects of it. Negative aspects influence a weaker mind. It is the most consistent findings revealed in observation. Due to the inquisitive innocence, an innocent becomes a prey of the negative aspect, thereby exploited and develops an evil companionship where he adopts negative qualities and habits. But there is positive aspects as in there are some groups who work towards peer relationship. Here innocent gets an opportunity to identify his fear, weakness and have control over his own power. The peer mentors play the part in organizing programmes to understand the behaviour. They interact with the teens and open lines of communication, build up action plans to change the behaviour by using the discipline skills wherever necessary. As church members play an integrate role, it is a challenge for them to develop the youth and make Christian education reachable to them.
Teachers are responsible preachers. Youth growth depends on a teacher infact they are the true facilitators of our learning, are Baptist figures and true authors of an individual’s life book. They also act as the resource developer and planner setting the curriculum for the healthy growth of an individual, depending how the curriculum is designed with the kind and level of leadership skills to recognize the youth psychology. Parents play a significant role in Christian education. They are the promising leaders which shape up Christianity, infact are the real teachers of Christian education. Parents act as a moral standard and support, therefore can synchronize to their growing youth to be aware from their early hood to gain knowledge in Christian faith and this is done when they themselves too experience a fullness of church.
Misunderstandings and miscommunication between parents and their children are one of the issues which follow breakings in the development of the youth. Due to parent’s own principles, for respect and love of family values often creates harmness to the children’s growth which tempts them to behave against them. Thus youth becomes a totalitarian of his own life by going against the values and ethics and unknowingly gets stucked in the torturous situations. Most Christian youth, fail to act upon the 10 commandments of bible.
I must say, I myself as a youth in my real life experience have observed that the originality of the commandments has changed excessively and replaced with the following:
Thou must worship money
Thou must “lyrically” murder
Thou must have evil possession
Thou must have sex
Thou must enjoy drug addiction
Thou must prosper, worship own self
Thou must not feel guilty
Thou must have no respect for ancestral values
Thou must not serve, sacrifice
Thou must differentiate
Due to the above, youth fails to feel guilty in which guiltness is a part of our conscience creating a false belief system as an obstacle in his maturity and creating structure of his own. Under such circumstances he avoids promoting prayer, sacrifice, grace, redemption, worship and meditation, atonement. Considering money and sex are the only two things reliable to satisfy the needs, creating a limitation and a boundary for establishing personal spiritual growth and development.
In general terms, when the efforts of religious and educational institutions, society lack to perform the planned task for Christian education, a positive approach is expected and constructed to gain knowledge and teaching through parents and teachers. Youth must be aware of guiltiness which is a gift from god to help us in being and doing well.
Still the question is raised in a Journal: Volume 5 Number 4, October 2003 by Author Charlene Tan, “Can Christian teachers and parents teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children?”
Yes, they can teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children they need to be careful when a child is to be handled as their minds are immature. At times it is difficult to understand them because their way of thinking is varied. Firstly before going to the next process, the first process has to be resolved. As teachers and parents are the role models for the development. In order to develop and understand these three role models should be systematically developed first. Only by abiding this rule, they can achieve the development in child. But the point lies beneath that how teachers and parents can prove themselves as an effective source of development by keeping in mind the relative factor of Child’s mind compatibility and psychology? As there are variations in psychological behavior teachers and parents should be mentally prepared, be changeable and adjustment oriented accordingly.
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The political and current affair of the nation is affected by corruption and evilness rationally which gave birth to vivid factors like jealousy, modesty and so on, making human’s built a tendency to mislead the positive factors. The situations have made the teachers adapt those inequalities within them, affecting the surrounding factors. Parents have too due to their increasing self priority created barriers of understanding among their families.
Many people are often drawn towards the attention of the church because of their felt needs and not for spiritual needs.
For instance, it does occur that why the youth is tuned out of his own way? Even in their interaction with their own members it tends to happen with them that they fail to hear a word said to them – stating “I didn’t hear a word you said?”, even though it is obvious that they have said something relating to us. This proves a kind of negligence in contacting the positive mechanism which grows in the back of our minds. Such system blocks all the wanted and useful messages allowing us to hear and see only what our mind tells us to hear and believe. As this tendency is increased in the youth generation, it is creating gaps between a believer and faith of god.
The question is – How? How can we overcome this problem? Youth have themselves developed a capacity in mind to hear only what pleasures them without taking a decision that whether it is false or truth. My query is – How we can bring these groups of youth closer to god? Unconsciously resulting in unexpected calamities and unknowingly they are unable to repent it wisely. Due to this increasing factor, youth can’t get a grip of effective communication and develop themselves internally. Here the parents then enter the scene to play their role.

The main question lies whether the local churches fulfill and meet to mature disciples in Christian education?

As stated above, ‘youth’ are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion. In this modern era, youth is distracted to church because they are building castles in air due to the unmaterialistic desire. Youth today have focused their vision to crave success and prosperity for their rising life graph; they exploit their own ones due to greed and selfishness. During the primary phase of struggle and hard work, youth craves to achieve prosperity, at the same time, do thank god and accept his involvement for success, but hand in hand, lack to follow the bibles ethics which says to respect others in and with unity. Due to the competition and growth politically, more often youth seem to push the fellow mates and strive to takeover their place. They themselves are unaware that they give birth to exploitation and inequality. And due to inequality, unity is declined, wherein bible does not specify inequality. In a book source, Pastor – “Rick Warren’ – illustrates in his book – The Purpose-Driven Church -“The issue is church health, not church growth!” declares warren. “if your church is healthy, growth will occur naturally. Healthy consistent growth is the result of balancing the five biblical purposes of the church.”
In addition to this he also declares that “If u concentrate on building people, God will build the church”.
I agree at a certain point with the above statement. I herewith would want to magnify on “How would one build a healthy youth for a healthy church”? In this sense I believe that both are co-related with each other. Again the issue arises in my mind ‘How will the church be healthy if the youth is unhealthy?’ The issue can’t be only concentrated on church. For a church to survive, the basic foundation is the youth and for the youth to be saved and attracted the church has to be healthy. In my knowledge it is a ‘Vicious Circle’.
Local churches upto some extent do specifically fulfill the discipleship through the practices and play a great emphasis in fulfilling and conveying the message of god to us, but still lack to read the minds and bring the youth closer to her, for which she has to upgrade her atmospheric appearance with new packages to reach the youth in a new taste due to the competitive modernism which is hovering on the youth.
The latter part can play the best part coz when first falls in place, everything else falls in place, from the beginning to the end, from all angles in all walks of life. Towards a healthy faith, healthy church can turn and seed a growth of spirituality through which mankind will grow spiritually from within thereby causing church growth.
Author Perry G. Down states in his book – “Teaching for spiritual growth” that ‘how can we best enable Christians to grow towards maturity?’ For this question he suggests three key concepts- ministry, believer, and purpose. But my understanding says that these concepts are incomplete somewhere to create a bond in reaching the results because today’s youth is attracted towards the unrealistic worldly matters, but has resulted in declination towards the god’s spiritual growth. The major role connecting these three concepts is commitment and effort. As the church ministry is the foundation pillar, the main aim is how much measure of commitment is valued and given to achieve the target successfully. Mankind is able to commit only when he chooses the right direction in fear and is able but this is unfortunate as the alien world tend to let us unidentify the type of strategies of growth for maturity. By identifying the type of strategies of growth, we can understand the level of growth required towards maturity at which we can be spiritual. Another reason for in growth is fear. As the youth fears to face unexpected problems, the efforts are less and require the hierarchy’s support.
Author Gary C. Newton stated in his book – “Going towards spiritual maturity” quotes the principle that “God is ultimately responsible for all spiritual growth”. The question arises at this point that if god is responsible for everything, what will be the purpose and role of human? I comment that while god supplies the resources like bible, church, Holy Spirit, baptism, it is also our responsibility to supply effort and commitment to utilize those resources and give results to god. In bible, Paul highlights this principle of his personal lifestyle and in his teachings comparing with the example of a soldier or athlete to illustrate the amount of sincerity and efforts. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27), Paul states that “In a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize”. I herewith conclude in a Christian race all runners (ministry, believers, purpose) will fail to get a prize if there is no effort that is commitment from everyone.
Along with the concept of ministry, believer, purpose; effort is also the key concept and it has to be achieved from the youth as well. A healthy youth will gain efforts only when the growth will favour them from within, when the forces of the ministry believers and youth will collide with each other to form a healthy growth.
This will create a mutual relationship between god’s provisional resources and our active involvement in process which is more clearly in Philippians 2:12-13: “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is god who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose”. This principle is intricate but the application is clear.
If one is to grow towards maturity in Christ then one must cultivate and demonstrate the efforts with passion, Philippians 2:17-18: ” But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you be glad and rejoice with me”.
Therefore the conclusion lies in the above concept, both; effort of the youth along with the work of ministry, believers proves in the healthiness of the church. In the book “Youth At Risk” by Peter Christian Olsen, 2003, he highlights four basic needs which he has clearly created an awareness of the effects that affects the development of youth:
Acceptance – belonging
New beginnings and second chances – forgiveness
Significance – generosity
Freedom – independence
I agree with his confirmation that he examines in deriving the above developmental needs from the provision of the Almighty’s resources as the absence of these needs do intentionally contribute in how they shape the personality, maturity, responsibility and stability of emotions. He emphasizes Christian community in respond to the needs determining that, the resources will be polishing youth through support during the fear and avoid them from destruction. At times the concepts will be foreign, indigestive for youth because unable to realize its importance. Rather the community need not re-interpret or change the language but simplify their thoughts and improve their visionary and understanding by change in structure through a friendly communication by becoming an effective leader to bridge the gap between the church and the youth. Therefore forces and efforts are needed for decision making which is an effective key in respond to ministry believer and purpose for a possibility of a healthy youth to build a healthy church, which will make the church flourish.

Supporting surveys

According to a survey, some findings proved that church fails to answer every question of the youth.

Q.1 In what way and sense is Christian religion, faith and church viewed by today’s modern youth?

Youth of today’s modern era is firm on the point stating that inspiration is lacked in religion; they feel that the world is divided through religion and is the major factor which is affecting the growth. A 17-year-old Jude from Kent says confidently that “He does not agree with the church who talks on subject morality” and is “Overfilled with traditionality”.
Youth pick their ideas which suit their taste through various religious beliefs. There are few in bunch who strongly believe, there exist only single religion which has controlled the truth. Young generation refer to perform all activities as per their own desire which in return less importance to the religious belief are being given, which gives birth to the side effects of the conduct.

Q.2 Why do young crowd feel that Christianity is not a ‘happening’ cultural activity?

An 18-year-old Marcus said that he left church when he was 15 because the teachings did not amuse him and it did not interest him of anything as a youth.
The major quest, a struggle for a religion is to impose an exertion of force of involvement in terms of attraction. I usually attend church service wherein I find young ones missing the services. I kept questioning myself that, where the young crowd has disappeared? Surprisingly the young ones have taken charge for the attendance of the church. In this consequence the church should give priority to change its curriculum and its way of presenting the services with new attractive packages for enhancement.

Q.3 Are the young preachers practicing different approaches in Christianity declining. What are your suggestions?

As the attendance of the youth in church has declined, but on the other hand people practicing approaches are increasing in numbers. The following is revealed through one of the youths that more the deepening are the studies of the bible, more a person becomes a hypocrite of the Christian leadership and unintentionally accepts and performs the lifestyle of the clergy right or wrong at times unknowingly. In such case, the practices are affected and become different from those which are to be precise. Seen are still some true Christian youngsters who are different in their attitude and conduct, but in spite of such difference, they are not involved into the immorality and violence activities with other youths. They present themselves as they are from a different unknown religion, but practice the religion and it
submitted by JobHunter2 to StudentsUniQuestions [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:32 Sunkizer AITAH I simply really want some answer and closure, I don't know what to do or feel.

Good Afternoon redditor, this would be my first ever post after listen to multiple reddit story podcasts.
I mainly want to figure out where went wrong as I’m super confused and hurt at the moment I don’t even know how to process my emotion. I will try to be as factual as I possibly can.
This is going to be a long post, so apologize in advance.
So my girlfriend (F24) and I (M28) has known each other for 12 years and dated as long distance online couple for half of the time and have broken up twice. 2 Years ago we communicated again and decided to give this another try. We had a very good game plan and she moved all the way to my country to stay with me June of last year. We had a quite good and lovely time as I thought, and I tried to provide all the necessary support I could think of.
Little over two months ago, I had an opportunity to move to an very rural small town 5 hour away from home to become an apprentice in a very competitive field. I value this opportunity but was very reluctant to accept based on how far away it is. My girlfriend is the one encouraged me and saying it will be a great opportunity for improvement, and I thought that is very true, it will give us great future together, so I accepted the job.

Few weeks ago, I got noticed that she meets a new friend at some sort of gathering, because there is only 2 other young people there, their become friends and she asked me if it’s okay to pick up this new male friend for shopping. Of cuz I didn’t think of anything and thought she is just providing me with closure, and I said yes.
Everything changed on the Thursday night, Generally speaking we withhold out video chat to until she is finished with her study and homework because I know how difficult a student trying to rush DUE feel like. She finished all her work on Wednesday so I thought Thursday would be our chance to catch up, so I was very excited. Turns out she had other plans without telling me. She went groceries shopping with the guy, (this is when I know their had plan to do weekly groceries trips as she have a car and the guy didn’t). Followed by staying over at the guys house until 9PM, (I finish work at 5PM, but I work early so I have to get to bed at 10PM), We had an extremely quick video chat followed by her wanting to end the chat due to forgot to buy toothpaste, this got me very disappointed so I pushed and asked you know I been waiting for a video chat for a week, and yet you prioritized him over me and weekly groceries shopping is not something you do with a guy friend, but rather someone really close. She just said, “well, is already planned.“
This entire conversation and event of what happened without me knowing got me really upset, especially I been asking before hand for the Video chat after she finish her DUE.
She than replied back to me saying she believe everyone is an individual, than is couple and family, she deems individual growth, friendship over the need of the couple. Therefore I should not butt in with what she is doing and chill. My upset and insecurity is none of her concern.
Literally the next day on the Friday after we had out fight, she went over to the guy’s house again while I was out doing Friday night shopping as I have Overtime lined up for Saturday and won’t have anytime to do shopping in my small town. While I was shopping she didn’t reply back to any of my text message, so I had a look on the iphone find my app and noticed she is at the guy’s house so I facetimed her and asking where is she and why is she not answering my calls. She picked up after a few tries and shown me a dark backyard as it was last at night. She said she just dropped off a friend (Not telling me who) and is heading home soon. She than hanged up on me, I just texted, when she gets home give me a call, I will be driving but can pick up the phone.
Not only did she not call me afterwards, she stayed at the guys place until 9PM again. With me fuming and angry thinking how could she do this. Meanwhile our dog is going berserk in the security camera as no one is home, because our dog always get jumpy after dark and we always try to have someone at home normally. I texted her during the silent saying the dog is going off really badly, can you go check on them. Not until 9PM when she left the guys house she texted me saying,” I’m so tired, the dog always bark like that after dark.” I’m so angry at this point I cant think straight so I choose silents.
At this point I know something is off, something is definitely not good, so on Saturday afternoon after I got off work we talked. She said she is so tired of compensating for me. I make her feel so tried, insecurity is my issue not hers. She won’t care if I go out with another girl and go over to her house for visit.

This got me extremely upset and ended it on a bad note. On Monday, While I was at work, she went over to the guys house again, (I noticed during my lunch break her car was parked at the guys house again) So I called her saying what is she doing, we are currently fighting due to the guy and you still want to go over there. She replied with I didn’t go, I was only dropping those two to school today and I didn’t go. Followed by leaving the house at 4PM and did not return until 9PM, at this point she took me off all location tracking app. (The location tracking was for both of us, we had the agreement to turn it on as I was in such long distance and sometime driving hours to go home I can’t pick up the phone, so we can track each other when we become unreachable).
When she turned at night, we had our last phone call, she decides to break up with me. I got Tuesday and Wednesday off to confront her why. We talked and she emitted that she has been talking non-stop with the guy about how much of a bad boyfriend I am, How dare I confront her for her personal friendship choice. How everything I have done in the past is just what a guy friend would do, nothing special and won’t make me a good boyfriend. I knew there must be more to what she has emitted by at this point im too tired and hurt to push on. So I agreed to the break up.
I really want to ask you guys, what have I done wrong. How can the relationship end simply within 5 days.
submitted by Sunkizer to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:31 Sunkizer Am I in the wrong? How could we end it instantly after only 5 days.

Good Afternoon redditor, this would be my first ever post after listen to multiple reddit story podcasts.
I mainly want to figure out where went wrong as I’m super confused and hurt at the moment I don’t even know how to process my emotion. I will try to be as factual as I possibly can.
This is going to be a long post, so apologize in advance.
So my girlfriend (F24) and I (M28) has known each other for 12 years and dated as long distance online couple for half of the time and have broken up twice. 2 Years ago we communicated again and decided to give this another try. We had a very good game plan and she moved all the way to my country to stay with me June of last year. We had a quite good and lovely time as I thought, and I tried to provide all the necessary support I could think of.
Little over two months ago, I had an opportunity to move to an very rural small town 5 hour away from home to become an apprentice in a very competitive field. I value this opportunity but was very reluctant to accept based on how far away it is. My girlfriend is the one encouraged me and saying it will be a great opportunity for improvement, and I thought that is very true, it will give us great future together, so I accepted the job.

Few weeks ago, I got noticed that she meets a new friend at some sort of gathering, because there is only 2 other young people there, their become friends and she asked me if it’s okay to pick up this new male friend for shopping. Of cuz I didn’t think of anything and thought she is just providing me with closure, and I said yes.
Everything changed on the Thursday night, Generally speaking we withhold out video chat to until she is finished with her study and homework because I know how difficult a student trying to rush DUE feel like. She finished all her work on Wednesday so I thought Thursday would be our chance to catch up, so I was very excited. Turns out she had other plans without telling me. She went groceries shopping with the guy, (this is when I know their had plan to do weekly groceries trips as she have a car and the guy didn’t). Followed by staying over at the guys house until 9PM, (I finish work at 5PM, but I work early so I have to get to bed at 10PM), We had an extremely quick video chat followed by her wanting to end the chat due to forgot to buy toothpaste, this got me very disappointed so I pushed and asked you know I been waiting for a video chat for a week, and yet you prioritized him over me and weekly groceries shopping is not something you do with a guy friend, but rather someone really close. She just said, “well, is already planned.“
This entire conversation and event of what happened without me knowing got me really upset, especially I been asking before hand for the Video chat after she finish her DUE.

She than replied back to me saying she believe everyone is an individual, than is couple and family, she deems individual growth, friendship over the need of the couple. Therefore I should not butt in with what she is doing and chill. My upset and insecurity is none of her concern.

Literally the next day on the Friday after we had out fight, she went over to the guy’s house again while I was out doing Friday night shopping as I have Overtime lined up for Saturday and won’t have anytime to do shopping in my small town. While I was shopping she didn’t reply back to any of my text message, so I had a look on the iphone find my app and noticed she is at the guy’s house so I facetimed her and asking where is she and why is she not answering my calls. She picked up after a few tries and shown me a dark backyard as it was last at night. She said she just dropped off a friend (Not telling me who) and is heading home soon. She than hanged up on me, I just texted, when she gets home give me a call, I will be driving but can pick up the phone.
Not only did she not call me afterwards, she stayed at the guys place until 9PM again. With me fuming and angry thinking how could she do this. Meanwhile our dog is going berserk in the security camera as no one is home, because our dog always get jumpy after dark and we always try to have someone at home normally. I texted her during the silent saying the dog is going off really badly, can you go check on them. Not until 9PM when she left the guys house she texted me saying,” I’m so tired, the dog always bark like that after dark.” I’m so angry at this point I cant think straight so I choose silents.
At this point I know something is off, something is definitely not good, so on Saturday afternoon after I got off work we talked. She said she is so tired of compensating for me. I make her feel so tried, insecurity is my issue not hers. She won’t care if I go out with another girl and go over to her house for visit.

This got me extremely upset and ended it on a bad note. On Monday, While I was at work, she went over to the guys house again, (I noticed during my lunch break her car was parked at the guys house again) So I called her saying what is she doing, we are currently fighting due to the guy and you still want to go over there. She replied with I didn’t go, I was only dropping those two to school today and I didn’t go. Followed by leaving the house at 4PM and did not return until 9PM, at this point she took me off all location tracking app. (The location tracking was for both of us, we had the agreement to turn it on as I was in such long distance and sometime driving hours to go home I can’t pick up the phone, so we can track each other when we become unreachable).
When she turned at night, we had our last phone call, she decides to break up with me. I got Tuesday and Wednesday off to confront her why. We talked and she emitted that she has been talking non-stop with the guy about how much of a bad boyfriend I am, How dare I confront her for her personal friendship choice. How everything I have done in the past is just what a guy friend would do, nothing special and won’t make me a good boyfriend. I knew there must be more to what she has emitted by at this point im too tired and hurt to push on. So I agreed to the break up.
I really want to ask you guys, what have I done wrong. How can the relationship end simply within 5 days.
submitted by Sunkizer to amiwrong [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:31 Sunkizer What have i done wrong. How could long distance fail so easily.

Good Afternoon redditor, this would be my first ever post after listen to multiple reddit story podcasts.
I mainly want to figure out where went wrong as I’m super confused and hurt at the moment I don’t even know how to process my emotion. I will try to be as factual as I possibly can.
This is going to be a long post, so apologize in advance.
So my girlfriend (F24) and I (M28) has known each other for 12 years and dated as long distance online couple for half of the time and have broken up twice. 2 Years ago we communicated again and decided to give this another try. We had a very good game plan and she moved all the way to my country to stay with me June of last year. We had a quite good and lovely time as I thought, and I tried to provide all the necessary support I could think of.
Little over two months ago, I had an opportunity to move to an very rural small town 5 hour away from home to become an apprentice in a very competitive field. I value this opportunity but was very reluctant to accept based on how far away it is. My girlfriend is the one encouraged me and saying it will be a great opportunity for improvement, and I thought that is very true, it will give us great future together, so I accepted the job.

Few weeks ago, I got noticed that she meets a new friend at some sort of gathering, because there is only 2 other young people there, their become friends and she asked me if it’s okay to pick up this new male friend for shopping. Of cuz I didn’t think of anything and thought she is just providing me with closure, and I said yes.
Everything changed on the Thursday night, Generally speaking we withhold out video chat to until she is finished with her study and homework because I know how difficult a student trying to rush DUE feel like. She finished all her work on Wednesday so I thought Thursday would be our chance to catch up, so I was very excited. Turns out she had other plans without telling me. She went groceries shopping with the guy, (this is when I know their had plan to do weekly groceries trips as she have a car and the guy didn’t). Followed by staying over at the guys house until 9PM, (I finish work at 5PM, but I work early so I have to get to bed at 10PM), We had an extremely quick video chat followed by her wanting to end the chat due to forgot to buy toothpaste, this got me very disappointed so I pushed and asked you know I been waiting for a video chat for a week, and yet you prioritized him over me and weekly groceries shopping is not something you do with a guy friend, but rather someone really close. She just said, “well, is already planned.“
This entire conversation and event of what happened without me knowing got me really upset, especially I been asking before hand for the Video chat after she finish her DUE.

She than replied back to me saying she believe everyone is an individual, than is couple and family, she deems individual growth, friendship over the need of the couple. Therefore I should not butt in with what she is doing and chill. My upset and insecurity is none of her concern.

Literally the next day on the Friday after we had out fight, she went over to the guy’s house again while I was out doing Friday night shopping as I have Overtime lined up for Saturday and won’t have anytime to do shopping in my small town. While I was shopping she didn’t reply back to any of my text message, so I had a look on the iphone find my app and noticed she is at the guy’s house so I facetimed her and asking where is she and why is she not answering my calls. She picked up after a few tries and shown me a dark backyard as it was last at night. She said she just dropped off a friend (Not telling me who) and is heading home soon. She than hanged up on me, I just texted, when she gets home give me a call, I will be driving but can pick up the phone.
Not only did she not call me afterwards, she stayed at the guys place until 9PM again. With me fuming and angry thinking how could she do this. Meanwhile our dog is going berserk in the security camera as no one is home, because our dog always get jumpy after dark and we always try to have someone at home normally. I texted her during the silent saying the dog is going off really badly, can you go check on them. Not until 9PM when she left the guys house she texted me saying,” I’m so tired, the dog always bark like that after dark.” I’m so angry at this point I cant think straight so I choose silents.
At this point I know something is off, something is definitely not good, so on Saturday afternoon after I got off work we talked. She said she is so tired of compensating for me. I make her feel so tried, insecurity is my issue not hers. She won’t care if I go out with another girl and go over to her house for visit.

This got me extremely upset and ended it on a bad note. On Monday, While I was at work, she went over to the guys house again, (I noticed during my lunch break her car was parked at the guys house again) So I called her saying what is she doing, we are currently fighting due to the guy and you still want to go over there. She replied with I didn’t go, I was only dropping those two to school today and I didn’t go. Followed by leaving the house at 4PM and did not return until 9PM, at this point she took me off all location tracking app. (The location tracking was for both of us, we had the agreement to turn it on as I was in such long distance and sometime driving hours to go home I can’t pick up the phone, so we can track each other when we become unreachable).
When she turned at night, we had our last phone call, she decides to break up with me. I got Tuesday and Wednesday off to confront her why. We talked and she emitted that she has been talking non-stop with the guy about how much of a bad boyfriend I am, How dare I confront her for her personal friendship choice. How everything I have done in the past is just what a guy friend would do, nothing special and won’t make me a good boyfriend. I knew there must be more to what she has emitted by at this point im too tired and hurt to push on. So I agreed to the break up.
I really want to ask you guys, what have I done wrong. How can the relationship end simply within 5 days.
submitted by Sunkizer to LongDistance [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:29 DumButFun Sharing some information!

Thanks mods for letting me post.
Sharing some stuff that I can share to see if it helps you and if you can help me in return perhaps.
EbonyPrince identity (with name redacted) https://imgur.com/a/C3DAx0l
Information on XXXtentacion, who Daylyt in this video claims was killed by Drake. Also notable that X said if he dies it was drake. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qmcJe3xXVQ
  1. XXXTentacion, born Jahseh Onfroy, was approximately six years old when he lived with Emmanuel Bruno Jaramillo, a period that had a significant impact on his life. This was after his mother was no longer able to take care of him, leading to a tumultuous upbringing that involved frequent relocations and unstable living conditions​2
  2. [23:18]https://www.miaminewtimes.com/music/the-real-story-of-rapper-xxxtentacion-10410980
  3. [23:19]https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/a-timeline-of-rapper-xxxtentacions-abuse-allegations-10424586
  4. XXXTentacion, whose real name was Jahseh Onfroy, did speak about experiencing abuse and mistreatment during his upbringing, including his time living with Emmanuel Bruno Jaramillo. In Jonathan Reiss's book "Look at Me!: The XXXTentacion Story," it is detailed that XXXTentacion faced significant challenges and hardships during his childhood. This included alleged instances of physical abuse and severe disciplinary measures. XXXTentacion himself recounted various forms of mistreatment in interviews and personal reflections. He described a tumultuous relationship with Jaramillo, who was a prominent figure during his formative years. The exact nature and extent of the alleged abuse have been subjects of various accounts and reports, contributing to the complex and troubled image of the rapper's early life.
  5. [23:22]- - "Jahseh would later describe being brutally beaten by Bruno, including instances where he was left bruised and bleeding."
    • quote from Look at Me!
My theory on Alvarez: "drake told me to come here and listen to beats" "uh okay man u can wait inside so u dont freeze to death" drakes buddies: "why did u let him in we dont know him we didnt invite him" security guys (2) get fired alvarez took the invitation to 'listen to beats' as a sincere gesture
Drake's unc on his mothers side - allegedly sex trafficked at N05 bar. Testimony. Working on image of him at 905. (purposely leaving out information to avoid this showing up on google search) (more sources needed)
From a handsome redditor's post: https://web.archive.org/web/20090416184520/http://www.jupiterindustries.com/company.html
apparently the Juniper CEO (someone also named Stephen Sher) had a father named Reuben Sher. interestingly Drake's grandfather is named Reuben Sher. https://www.zoominfo.com/p/Stephen-She8744013061 https://www.frasersdirectory.com/suppliers/jupiter-industries-inc-16693231412/ https://www.zoominfo.com/pic/jupiter-industries-inc/65832017 https://www.frasersdirectory.com/suppliers/jupiter-industries-inc-16693231412/ https://jupiterindustries.com/about-us.html https://twitter.com/Jupiter_Ind https://www.instagram.com/jupiterindustriesbaby/?hl=en
"Jupiter started in Toronto in 1981 when the CEO was asked by his father Reuben Sher to pioneer a new sleep product for his grandchildren. The result was the first dust mite resistant mattress ever made. Being ahead of our time has always been and still is the basic principle in our company. Innovative products with purpose is now our mandate."
Update on Kdot (from 2 days ago) Been in the studio and TDE doesn't know what he's working on (info not from fucking coolee)
Update on TDE on the day EbonyPrince had set the deadline for, Monday, TDE went to UMG offices for a meeting. Phones left in cars. TDE feels relationship with UMG is being harmed thru EbonyPrince stuff and people associating TDE with EP. The fact that the vids appear to be from Kdots appartment or nextdoor don't help the paranoia. Mentioned this before but Daylyts video with Lebron raised concerns over TDE/Lebron relationship too.
I know nothing about what's going on at UMG.
submitted by DumButFun to DarkKenny [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:19 Find_Your_Job Remote Entry-Level Sales Associate in Financial and Insurance Services

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submitted by Find_Your_Job to u/Find_Your_Job [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:11 Interesting-Umpire35 Blindsided and Betrayer

Part of me is venting because I'm angry at myself for being too trusting of people. Red flags smack me in the face and I'm still oblivious.
Someone I had been helping through a bad time of his life suddenly(and romantically getting involved with) disappeared on me. Literally hid from me. He stopped answering texts and calls. When I called him after a month from a different number.....he pretended not to know me.He hung up and didn't answer until I persisted. He pretended he had NO freaking clue who I am. He kept repeating I had the wrong number. I was so shocked but I argued because I became defensive.I gave him specific details about myself and our relationship.... Turns out this guy who had been trying to court me is addicted to meth and had relapsed. He relapsed and went back to his off-and-on-again ex who also partakes in drugs.
I'm completely blindsided. I guess I didn't spend enough time getting to know him more or picking up on subtle lies. I can accept his relapse, the lies about his involvement with drugs, and going back to his ex. By accept I mean I have closure and can move on. The part that hurts and has kept me up all night was the legitimate gaslighting. The betrayal that came with hearing him tell me he has no clue who I am. I am 100% sure it was/is him....well kind of. Him on meth. Someone I had never met, so he hadn't met me. Makes perfect sense or none at all. Seems like both simultaneously.
It hurts. It hurts so much I can't cry.
TLDR Man I was "dating" for months and helping through a rough patch turned out to be a drug addict and went back to his ex. Now he's pretending he doesn't know who I am.
submitted by Interesting-Umpire35 to Vent [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:10 Necessary-Shift-7963 Do things get easier when you actually start dating

(20M) Been talking to this girl (18F) for about 3 weeks. Everything seems to be going really good, but have had a couple of bad experiences with other girls, generally just getting played the fuck out of.
She has also been through some pretty rough Ex’s with physical abuse.
She moved to my city from a very small country town, and we have had many conversations about how we seriously do not want to play any games, or pretty much just fuck with each others minds in general. we are just both keen to have a good healthy relationship.
I just cannot help the fact (due to past girls I’ve talked to) to think all day every day, if this girl genuinely likes me, and is not just saying bullshit in the heat of the moment, because I convinced myself after the last girl I talked to, to really never trust what a girl says, although we do hang out a lot and she makes the effort to come see me multiple times a week.
This may sound silly but I really just need help, is there such thing as ‘closure’, after asking her to be your girlfriend and her saying yes?
I know we are young, but I’m struggling with this and I’ve really been overthinking whether asking her to be my girl is a good idea, because I do not want to get hurt again.
submitted by Necessary-Shift-7963 to datingadviceformen [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 13:07 -----z- I miss and hate my ex and best friend.

Throwaway account, obviously, but I (M18) both miss and hate one of my two best friends(18F) and I don't know what to do, but I have to get this off my chest. To sort of understand why, you need to know some things first.
Me and this friend of mine used to date for about a month laat year from late July to late August, shortly after my birthday. She had gotten out of a toxic relationship of four years the week prior, and we both had strong feelings for each other, but rushed into the relationship too quickly; we said we loved each other the first day together, and in the first few days was promising her that I'd marry her in the future, as soon as I could.
The relationship didn't last long, though, as she was very clingy, our schedules didn't work well and we could only spend an hour on-call together most days(it was a long distance relationship) and I was very nonchalant about most things and didn't express myself as much as I should have or in the correct way, which resulted in me saying very hurtful things to her without even realizing it most times. Point is, I felt like the both of us were miserable in the relationship so I ended it a bit after my birthday, and didn't want to talk to her anymore, but she was practically begging to stay friends, and it felt like it would have been cruel of me to deny her that, so I stayed friends with her.
Sometime in October, though, about two months after the breakup, we were on a late night call and things led to us admitting that we both sort of missed some aspects of the relationship, and we mutually agreed to enter in a sort of friends with benefits type relationship, but that ended after about a week because I realized that it was just going to lead to us getting into a relationship again after she started exhibiting some behaviors from our relationship, so I unofficially ended it by not bringing it up anymore after that.
Cut to January, both her and my other best friend(19MTF(refer to her as B)) get into relationship, and I don't mind them being together at all(but I don't know if I still feel that way anymore), and she asks me if I still held feelings for her, to sort of get some closure and fully commit herself into a relationship with B. They are genuinely a good couple, and it's the happiest ive seen B in a relationship before.
But then in early April, B flies her into the state to spend about five days here, and B wont let me meet her, and I practically had to beg to get B to allow me to meet the both of them somewhere, because she's my only other friend at that point and I can't even see her. Whenever the topic of her maybe visiting our state came up in the group chat we had, we always talked about the three of us hanging out or doing stuff together, and it felt like I was betrayed.
Then, late April comes, the date is April 27th, and I see that she has me blocked on all social media platforms, and I call B multiple times to ask what happened, but because they have each other's account's info, she picks up instead, and says that B doesn't want her to be friends with me, and she went along with it. The day goes by, and I cant talk to either of them until midnight because of plans that I already had. Midnight comes and I don't talk to B like I said I would, but I talk to her instead, where she reveals that ever since March or so, she basically secretly hated me, and that she didn't want to be friends with me; she said that I was a horrible person, that she forgave but had not forgotten, that all she saw in me was pain and regret, that she'd rather have no friends than be friends with me, and before she could finish I blocked her and went on every other platform to block her on those too.
It is now currenty 3:59AM on Thursday, May 16th, I haven't slept, and B flew out to meet her in her home state and hasn't mentioned or said anything to me about anything since Monday. I thought I didn't care about her anymore; I thought that I had resolved myself to not feel hate, or longing, or anything resembling those two about her anymore, that I'd move on with my life and not let her words get to me, but I don't know anymore. I don't know how to feel
By the way, sorry if any of you felt confused as to who I was reffering to, I had already written most of everything before I thought to refer to B as B, and I cant call refer to her as some random letter without changing a lot of what I've typed out already, or im too lazy too. If further clarification on some things are needed, Ill provide it, and Ill accept anything anybody has to say about me, negative or otherwise.
submitted by -----z- to confessions [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 12:37 shrugir Travel Agency CRM

What Is Travel Agency CRM?

A travel agency CRM is customer relationship management software that helps travel companies or tour operators improve their lead management and conversion processes, increase sales efficiency, streamline follow-ups, and rapidly expand their customer base. Software is particularly designed for both TMCs and DMCS.

Travel Agency CRM is an all-in-one CRM solution for travel agencies and tour operators built on award-winning travel CRM. Created specifically for the needs of travel agencies using award-winning travel CRM, Travel Agency CRM delivers outstanding value with an astounding array of features for a fraction of the cost of any comparable industry system.

In fact, CRMs can be used for and customized to a number of different industries! When it comes to the travel industry, a CRM can help guide prospective clients through the sales process and give them access to important, relevant data.

What Is the Purpose Of A CRM For Travel Agencies?

Travel agency CRM platforms help agencies manage their online presence, schedule meetings, and even automate their usual tasks. They offer a comprehensive view of sales pipelines and customer relationships, making them an invaluable tool for any travel agency.

Teams can use travel agency CRMs to assign leads to agents, track performance, and manage transaction processes. Features such as drip campaigns and marketing automation tools enable agencies to maintain a consistent client experience and build stronger relationships.

A travel CRM will assist you in:

· Track travel inquiries from start to finish, ensuring a flawless sales process.

· Auto-send WhatsApp, email, and SMS to the client on each status change.


· Deliver exceptional, tailored service according to each traveler's requirements.

· Gain a comprehensive view of customer interactions, packages, and sales from analytics.

· Automate repetitive tasks to increase productivity, boost sales, and generate revenue.

Why Is Travel Agency CRM Important in The Travel Industry?

To run sales and stay competitive, businesses in the travel industry must meet and manage their customers' needs across the entire inquiry, booking and follow-up journey. Because a travel agency CRM lets you focus on traveler profiles and expectations more accurately, it helps you deliver an exceptional user experience that's more likely to bring in repeat bookings.

Customer Information: Travel agents deal with various customers, each with unique preferences and travel histories. A CRM system helps agents keep track of all this profitable data.

They can record details such as travel dates, destinations, preferred airlines, and hotel choices. This enables agents to provide an extremely personalized service, recommending suitable options and making the booking process smoother for customers.

Organization and Efficiency: Travel agents juggle a multitude of tasks, from booking flights and hotels to arranging tours and transfers. A travel CRM solution acts as a digital assistant, helping agents stay organized. It can handle bookings, set reminders for essential tasks, and even automate routine processes. This efficiency means agents can serve more customers beneficially without compromising on service quality.

Communication: Good communication is the backbone of the travel industry. A CRM system helps travel agents keep customers informed. It can send automatic email confirmations, flight updates, and travel tips. This not only ensures that customers have all the essential information but also reassures them, building trust and enhancing their travel experience.

Customer Loyalty: Establishing long-term relationships with customers is crucial. Best Travel CRM helps agents create and manage loyalty programs. It can track user points, offer rewards, and send personalized discounts or special offers. This inspires customers to return for future bookings and refer friends and family, which is vital for a travel agent's success.

Competitive Edge: In today's digital age, travelers have access to a huge amount of information online. To compete effectively, travel agents must come up with added value and exceptional service. A well-implemented CRM system enables agents to stand out by delivering personalized, efficient, and convenient services that customers appreciate. This can be the difference between travelers selecting a travel agent's services over booking independently online.

Who Can Use Travel Agency CRM?

Travelopro is the best travel CRM software specifically designed for travel agents, tour operators, and DMCs, which can easily streamline and automate your travel business. It caters to individuals at various levels within the organization, including business owners, operational staff, transfer drivers, tour guides, and the sales team.

· Hospitality businesses are striving to boost guest engagement, drive direct bookings, and generate loyalty.

· Tour operators focus on optimizing itineraries, automating tasks, and providing personalized recommendations to travelers.

· Travel agencies seeking to simplify bookings, manage customer relationships, and enhance the overall travel experience.

· Travel startups seeking to gain a competitive edge by leveraging technology to boost the travel experience.

· Travel management companies: help corporate customers with travel arrangements and expense management.

· DMCS (Destination Management Companies): DMCs benefit from advanced destination management systems that help them coordinate every part of a visitor's vacation.

· Corporate travel managers seeking to optimize travel spend, handle compliance, and improve traveler safety.

How Travel Agency CRM Can Transform Your Travel Business?

In the travel and tourism industry, CRMs are used to track customer bookings, itineraries, and preferences. This data can be used to upsell customers on extra travel products and services or to simply provide better customer service.

A CRM becomes useful when it is completely integrated operationally and strategically into the travel business. Once integrated, the CRM can help save time, increase the team's efficiency, establish better customer relationships, enhance team collaboration, and boost overall business performance.

Whether you need to manage multiple bookings, track customer preferences, or communicate with your partners, this CRM offers a comprehensive solution tailored to the unique needs of travel agencies. By using this CRM, you can streamline your operations and improve the overall efficiency of your travel agency business while also providing a better experience for your customers.

The best travel agency CRM systems have additional features necessary for running a travel agency smoothly and effectively. Besides, this is also useful in examining all the vital information, such as company performance, sales, and stock, and makes the whole process easier.

It enables you to serve your customers better with a simple user interface and hassle-free management. Maintain coordination among your team and avoid repetition of work. It empowers you to have a better lead management system. It is designed so that all your leads land in CRM from your website or social media ads.

Travel agency CRM helps in focusing your services, business processes, and employees on the acquisition and retention of faithful customers by answering their personal needs and values in the travel and hospitality business.

Companies may be effectively streamlined through the automated processes of activities like marketing, advertising, and customer support. The program assists in managing B2C and corporate clients with individualized trip schedules and fee sheets.

Currently, this software provides an advantage for the travel industry and also leads to a better customer experience. It also enables you to analyze customers more accurately, convert more leads, and produce references from happy customers.

In fact, Travel CRM authorizes you to keep an eye on booking management, user management, payment collection, alerts and notifications, email management, and so on. Thus, make sure to select the robust Travel CRM software that matches and fulfils your business requirements.

Want to Take Your Travel Business to Next Big Level? If Yes Then Travelopro Is Here

In a competitive industry, travel agents want to get travel software that manages each and every aspect of a project, streamlines workflow, and improves business efficiency. There are numerous travel CRM software programs available, each with several features, so it is important to choose the right software that is the perfect match for your business.

Choose the right cloud-based CRM for your business that is able to satisfy your needs. Here at Travelopro Travel CRM software, we provide the best travel CRM, which comes with incredible features and functionalities that enhance your work productivity and also help in the growth of your business.

We are the best travel CRM provider that helps various travel companies cope with challenges including inquiries, itineraries, payment schedules, and lead management. Our travel agency CRM solution enables simple connection and communication with branch visitors, customers, agents, and suppliers with both automated and account-specific communication.

Our CRM solution is designed to simplify your operations, automate processes, and enhance customer satisfaction. From managing itineraries to tracking user preferences, our CRM system provides a comprehensive platform to centralize your data and optimize your workflows.

Our CRM provides you with up-to-the-minute data on bookings, customer preferences, and market trends, allowing you to make informed decisions and seize opportunities in the dynamic online travel landscape.

We develop travel agency client management software so you can maintain information about your customers, their preferences, purchase capabilities, and buying behavior. This makes it easier for your agents to present the best deal to your customers and complete the sales easily.

Travelopro's smart software spells impeccable business benefits through its CRM for travel agencies. With a comprehensive package, Travelopro easily boosts operations for tour companies of all sizes, from lead management to customer relationships and massive calculations to time management.

Travelopro's Travel CRM Software also equips businesses with robust features to build a high-performing sales funnel. Owners and managers could track the status of each sale in real-time, map the customer journey, and visualize sales performance based on several metrics.

We contain powerful features such as itinerary management, quotes, proposals, forms, tasks, lead management, etc., which can help travel advisors expand their business and provide extensive experience to their customers. It is an all-in-one solution for the travel business to manage qualified customers, quotes, and itineraries through simple CRM and forms.

We developed a travel website, and for the travel agency, we provide travel agency software that is sophisticated and automated for the travel work. By using the travel CRM tool, travel agents can collect all data regarding other travel agents, staff members, and travel itineraries.

We have a dedicated team of the best travel agency CRM software providers that offers you the best and most reasonable travel CRM software, which is exclusively made for small businesses to handle their workflow.

At Travelopro, we offer a ready-made CRM solution designed exclusively for tour operators and travel agencies. Our CRM comes equipped with features, capabilities, metrics, and reporting that are specifically customized to meet your unique needs and completely customized for your branding.

Travelopro is an expert in this field, having helped many travel agencies and tour operators find the right travel CRM solutions to meet their needs and budget. We understand this and have over 10 years' experience in helping travel businesses find the right solution.

When Selecting A Travel Agency CRM, Which Factors Should We Consider?

· Features: Make sure that the CRM has features suitable to your travel business, such as booking management, lead tracking, communication tools, and reporting.

· Scalability: Choose a CRM that can amplify with your business as it expands.

· Integration: Check if the CRM integrates with other software you use, such as booking engines, marketing tools, and accounting systems.

· User Interface: The CRM should be user-friendly and smooth for your team to learn and use.

· Support: Look for a CRM provider that offers superior customer support and resources for training and troubleshooting.

· Cost: Consider your budget and whether the CRM's pricing structure corresponds with your financial plans.

Why Should You Choose Travelopro Travel Agency CRM?

· Travelopro is the leading provider of CRM for travel agencies and tour operators to let them work efficiently.

· Our travel agency CRM provides tailored solutions such as travel CRM software, holiday CRM, etc.

· Our cloud-based travel agency CRM tool offers apps that make the services one step away from the customers.

· Our travel agency CRM software helps businesses build robust customer relationships, generate revenue, and increase conversion rates.

· Our travel agency CRM helps travel businesses focus on their core tasks and any specific strategy.

· Our travel agency CRM helps retain existing customers by automating the travel process and employees in the organization. Further, it ensures flawless business administration.

· Through our years of expertise, we are in the best position to deliver the travel agency CRM solution that matches your business.

· We understand the market and, correspondingly, develop travel agency CRM software for the travel industry. It supports our clients in serving their customers better.

What Kind of Benefits Can A CRM Built Specifically for The Travel Agency Give to Your Business?

Improved Customer Retention: Retaining customers is vital to your business. Using a CRM allows you to better track your customers and instantly address their questions and concerns.

Centralized Database of Information: A CRM creates a centralized database of your customers' data, so anyone who may need it can access it. Travel agents can then see what types of trips customers may be interested in based on their past interactions with your company. As a result, your customers will have a more positive experience, and your employees will save time.

Increased Sales: By using a CRM program, you can design a particular sales plan, automate key parts of your sales process, and help you analyze the data being collected about your sales. All of this can help you improve both your sales and productivity. Furthermore, you can create a process for your employees that is easy to follow and can be effortlessly adjusted when necessary.

Higher Productivity: CRM systems use automation technology, which speeds up non-priority work. It also authorizes employees to focus on work that cannot be automated, such as creating content. This automation also ensures that no work is missed, and it even helps you enhance your workflow.

Better Customer Service: CRMs store information such as demographics, purchase history, and past communications in a single location. Storing all necessary data in a single place makes it easy for anyone in your company to find it. Observing customer information becomes much easier with all of your data in a single location.

Personalized Traveler Experience: Every person who travels is different, with their own preferences and interests. Some people prefer to go to the beach, while others stick to the mountains. Some people want to visit a big city, while others would rather go to a secluded cabin in the wilderness. With travelers who are so diverse, the way you interact with them should be as well. You can better understand the preferences of your audience with a CRM. You and your travel agents better tailor the experience you are offering them.

What Major Features Does CRM For Travel Agencies Have?

Travel agencies can utilize the CRM to manage their contact information, log communications via multiple channels, and automate endless tasks

· Attract and convert leads into recurring travelers.

· With custom fields, create traveler characters.

· Book your appointment at any channel or touchpoint.

· Securely store valuable data in the cloud.

· Get detailed analytics for sales reports.

· Monitor conversion rates and track lead conversations.

· Reporting data can help you make the necessary decisions.

· Personalized messaging sent to users based on their segments

· Automate invoicing and accounting with seamless workflows.

· Build pipelines to support all your communications, outreach, and workflow efforts.

Wrapping Up:

In the evolving landscape of the travel industry, travel agency CRM is a game-changer. It empowers travel agencies to harness the power of data for efficient retailing and personalization for success in the modern travel market.

Convert your travel agency into an easy-to-use and cost-effective CRM solution. Contact us today to schedule a demo and unlock the complete potential of CRM for your travel agency.

For more details, Pls visit our Website:
https://www.travelopro.com/travel-agency-crm.php
submitted by shrugir to u/shrugir [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 12:24 Viral-conclusionz8 How your temper translated to serious of actions and decisions affecting the backyard of your pre established process map

Temper, or emotional reactivity, can significantly influence a series of actions and decisions, potentially disrupting pre-established processes and impacting outcomes. Here’s how temper can translate into actions and decisions affecting various aspects of a structured process map:

1. Immediate Reactions

2. Process Disruptions

3. Long-term Consequences

Case Study: Impact on a Process Map

Scenario: Managing a Project with an Established Process Map
  1. Process Map Overview:
    • Initial Planning: Defining objectives, scope, and milestones.
    • Resource Allocation: Assigning tasks and allocating resources.
    • Execution: Implementing the project plan with regular monitoring.
    • Evaluation: Assessing progress and making adjustments.
    • Closure: Final review and project completion.
  2. Temper-Induced Disruption:
    • During Planning: An argument during the planning phase leads to impulsive decisions, such as unrealistic deadlines or scope changes without proper evaluation.
    • Resource Allocation: A flare-up results in reassigning tasks without considering team members' expertise, leading to inefficiencies and delays.
    • Execution: Frustration over minor setbacks results in harsh feedback, demotivating the team and causing a decline in productivity.
    • Evaluation: Anger at missed milestones prompts knee-jerk reactions like abandoning parts of the process map, undermining the project’s integrity.
    • Closure: Resentment from the team due to temper-induced decisions leads to a lack of cooperation in the final stages, compromising the quality of the project’s closure.

Strategies to Mitigate Temper-Induced Disruptions

  1. Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence:
    • Recognizing Triggers: Identifying what triggers your temper and developing strategies to manage these triggers effectively.
    • Mindfulness Practices: Engaging in mindfulness and stress-reduction techniques to maintain emotional balance.
  2. Structured Decision-Making:
    • Pause and Reflect: Implementing a pause before making decisions to ensure they are not driven by emotional reactions.
    • Consultation: Seeking input from colleagues or mentors to gain perspective and prevent temper-driven decisions.
  3. Communication Skills:
    • Calm and Constructive Feedback: Providing feedback in a calm, constructive manner, even in stressful situations.
    • Active Listening: Practicing active listening to understand others’ viewpoints and reduce misunderstandings.
  4. Process Adherence:
    • Commitment to the Process Map: Adhering to the established process map and making changes only through a structured, collaborative approach.
    • Regular Check-ins: Conducting regular check-ins to monitor progress and address issues calmly and systematically.
By integrating these strategies, individuals can better manage their temper, ensuring that their actions and decisions align with the pre-established process map, thereby maintaining consistency, efficiency, and positive outcomes.
submitted by Viral-conclusionz8 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 10:59 Fabulous-Dentist903 Am I '35F' the asshole for ending my relationship with my best friend L '33F' years old, because of her boyfriend? Apologies in advance for the long story.

Hi Reddit,
I'm a 35-year-old female, and I’ve had a close and supportive friendship with my best friend, "L" (female, 33), for nine years. Recently, our friendship has become strained due to her boyfriend, now fiancĂ©, who disapproves of me.
I've been married for 11 years, which is not conventional. My husband and I are very supportive of each other and have different interests, so we don’t hang out often except for certain activities. His job also makes our days off different. We’ve had some rough times, but we’re working through them, and no matter what we are always looking out for each other and never stop each other from doing what we love.
Because of my chill, open lifestyle, and bubbly personality, L's fiancé views me as a negative influence on her. even thou i know her way before he did.
Her boyfriend has made derogatory comments about me, which she only mentioned after I pushed her to tell me what was wrong. L and I usually spend much time together because we work together and sometimes go to the gym or grab food after work. On weekends, we do other activities like beach or horse riding, and I had no issue with him joining us. However, after a few times when he joined us at the beach, where I met friends for football and paddle boarding, he started criticizing me and my driving skills and the routes I take. Soon after, he stopped coming with us, and L started acting weird. Eventually, I discovered he had called me a “hoe in an open relationship.” and claimed I did not respect my husband or myself because I was too friendly and attract men, which he thought would ruin his relationship with L.
This situation led to a heated discussion and a temporary break in our friendship. I needed to reconnect with myself, especially because she was always fighting with him whenever she was with me, making me feel like a burden. After a months, I felt okay and resumed communication with her, explaining why I needed a break. However, we significantly reduced our activities together (her choice i guess).
L tried to mend the situation by encouraging my husband and me to socialize with them, hoping to show our positive qualities as a couple. My husband refused after learning about her fiancé’s disrespectful behavior. Honestly, I wasn’t ready to socialize with a hater, either. Her fiancé’s controlling behavior goes beyond his opinions of me. He discourages L’s interests, like singing, and displays other red flags that she seems to overlook (which me & others has motioned) to which she fired back that we are not supportive.
Despite L’s efforts to defend our friendship against her fiancé’s attempts to drive a wedge between us, he wanted her to choose between him and me. She claimed she tried to keep everything that mattered, but I was wrong. After our break, we were good for the next six months, even though we didn’t hang out as much (4 times). Whenever we did, she would fight with him and leave early or without saying goodbye, just leaving a message.
My birthday was approaching, and every year as a tradition, L and I have dinner together to celebrate before having a party with other friends. Two weeks before my birthday, I asked her to attend dinner on Friday or Saturday which my husband was to plan for us, she agreed. Two days later, she asked to confirm if it was happening and where. I said I would let her know once my husband confirmed the plans (this is very normal as i inform her always 1 day before). She kept asking the same question daily, which was unusual for her. Finally, she admitted that her fiancĂ© wanted to leave the city for a few days and needed to know if our plans were confirmed. I canceled so she could go with him, but they didn’t go at the end. and that didn't feel great for me.
A week before my birthday, I asked her and other friends to keep their Sundays open for a pool brunch my husband was planning for us. Everyone, including L, confirmed, and she even added, "Count me in +1," assuming I’d be okay with her bringing her fiancĂ©. I was mad but decided to let it go for her. A few days before the event, she messaged me saying she might be unable to come because she had a minor surgery and couldn’t swim. I was shocked she hadn’t mentioned the surgery before and asked why she didn’t tell me. She replied that she didn’t have to tell me everything and that I didn’t need to come. I was mad and asked if it was because of him. She yelled, accusing me of not understanding how much I hurt her by taking a break and moving on, while she didn’t.
She blamed me and our friends for not being supportive, even though we had helped her in the past. For example, she lived with my husband and me for almost a year rent-free when she was jobless only for 2 months. Her fiancĂ© had issues with most of our group despite our welcoming attitude. She kept making excuses and gaslighting us for not being there for her since she got serious with this guy. I listened and asked how I could make things right. She dared to say "I needed to apologize for taking a break to care for myself and moving on while she didn’t". I calmly refused to apologize for taking care of my mental health, knowing how much I had worked on myself. If she wasn’t okay with that, it was her issue.
She tried to be nice the next day, realizing she messed up, but I was a bit cold with her as I didn’t expect her to say those things, especially knowing how much I cared for her and what I had done for her. The day before my birthday, our friend supposed to pick her up before picking me up. When I came down, she wasn’t there. I asked my friend if she was coming, and he said no. I messaged her, asking if she was coming or not. She said yes, but later, as her fiancĂ© wasn’t ready. We went ahead, and three hours later (the brunch is for 4 hours), they finally showed up. Her fiancĂ© didn’t say a proper hello and started complaining about wanting to sit at a table instead of the poolside beds we had booked. Despite arriving three hours late, she had the nerve to ask me to move to accommodate him. I refused and suggested they sit at the table if they preferred.
I saw them arguing a few times, and she kept coming back and forth between the beds and the table. When dessert was served, I decided to join them at the table to be the bigger person. Her fiancĂ© picked up his phone and didn’t speak to anyone. When he decided to leave, he gestured for her to follow him and walked away without saying goodbye.
That was the last straw for me. She seemed okay with his behavior as if it is normal, and there was no way we could convince her that he was mistreating her. I messaged her, saying I didn’t blame him but blamed her for ruining my day and trying to force us to adjust our boundaries for him. She didn’t acknowledge my message. And the next day, she sent me a message to remove my brother’s car from her parking (the car had been parked there for two years without issue). I removed the car and stopped all communication with her and blocked her everywhere. we work with each other, so we are keeping professional.
FYI: This guy has told her in a message that I saw accidentally. Quote his exact message: "you don’t deserve to be a mother if you associates with this people (AKA - any of us), as we have no values and brings only shame and “cockroaches” to her perfect relationship.
I am disappointed and feel sorry for wasting so much time and effort on someone I never knew, apparently.
I want to make sure that i will not look back. hence am asking advice if you think i wronged her in any way?
submitted by Fabulous-Dentist903 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 10:50 rosyposy86 Timeline halfway through season 5.

Yes, I’m a Chenford fan. Was just watching a video on YouTube of their moments from season 5. It had a short clip in it from an episode of a boy who has cancer. Tim’s in Metro and Lucy says to him (likely not a direct quote), “I got mad at you one day for a Tim Test a few months ago and signed you up for Make a Wish
” or something like that. So my question is, about how long between Tim being her TO, to them working undercover as Dim and Juicy to their relationship? It seems like a very short timeline.
submitted by rosyposy86 to TheRookie [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 10:47 mylostlights Ice Cream Piano Analysis

I get frustrated with genius annotations, especially re: Vampire Weekend's discography. While I was reading through some of the lyrics last night, it struck me how surface level many of the associations are on the lyric page for "Ice Cream Piano," which is a shame for such a thematically rich song.
That said, I decided to take a stab at dissecting the song as a whole, while tying some of the more obscure references with themes in the larger project.

Verse 1

"Fuck the world," /you/ said it quiet No one could hear you, no one but /me/ "Cynical, you can't deny it" 
Ezra seems to be describing a conversation between "himself" and "his partner" reacting to an unspecified issue. "She" reacted to something, and "he" criticizes that reaction. However, there is some ambiguity regarding who exactly is saying the last line; is it the singer himself, or is he quoting her as he did the opening line?
This ambiguity is a carried theme throughout the rest of the song, and as the lyrics continue, which side is throwing out accusations becomes less relevant. The implied goal of these first lines is to frame the rest of the song as an argument between two individuals, and to show the sneaky ways in which their conflicting viewpoints mirror each other.
I think it's important to mention here that, ahead of "Father of the Bride," Ezra spoke about wanting to move away from the more impressionistic style present in earlier Vampire Weekend records and experiment in writing lyrics where the general theme of the song can be understood in the first few lines. Furthermore, during the Zane Low release interview for "Only God Was Above Us," Ezra dove deep into the track listing process, stating he knew early on that "Ice Cream Piano" needed to be the opening track.
Knowing these two facts, these deceptively unassuming lines in fact carry a significant weight. Where the high-level reading describes a conflict between two individuals, the deeper understanding is that they each represent a conflicting philosophy or idea -- a conflict that will serve as the central thematic core for the album as a whole.
"You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace Armistice, /we/ never tried it *You're* the soldier, *I'm* police Listen, baby, we can't deny it You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace" 
As this section of the song is accompanied by a second vocal track, we can assume these lines as sung to each other, implying that their only point of agreement is the recognition of the other's uncompromising nature.
Armistice, simply stopping conflict, is so beyond an option because they're hypocrites -- criticizing the other based on one's subjective position. In her eyes, he's the soldier; in his, police. In this metaphor, one serves as the agitator and the other as defender.

Verse 2

The word was weaponized as soon as it had passed your lips 
The "word" here seems to be either war or peace. But with either it's a loaded offer because, as implied earlier, they're not engaging with the other's viewpoint in good faith and, as such, their criticisms are unfounded. His distaste towards cynicism and her more myopically aligned viewpoint sit diametrically opposed. Their definition of peace is incompatible. As the music builds, it seems to come in conflict with Ezra's vocals; he's nearly shouting as they climb and create a barrage of competing sounds.
I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 
What's interesting about this verse is that, on first reading, the beginning of each statement seems to support the last -- as if said by the same person. However, on closer inspection it seems as though the following mocks the prior; "I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness" is clearly self contradictory -- as are the other two when read as single statements.
When split at their conflicting point as "I am a gentleman," and separately, "I refuse to show my gentleness," it continues to follow the theme set in Verse 1 of a conversation between two individuals. So, the verse can be read as:
I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 
When one side says something, the other interrupts and mocks that statement. This pattern can be observed in the following two lines. However, by choosing to frame both the initial statement and its contradiction in the first person, Ezra is able to explore the narcissism present in the respective ideologies of the two individuals. They cannot see past their own egos to agree with the other, because the criticisms levied by one are exactly those which the other is accusing them of. As the verse continues, this rising tension and anger becomes more pointed and prevents either side from finishing a complete statement, the screams of one silence the other; and as they are both screaming, neither is able to say anything of import.
Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day 
Following this, the second line is a slightly more direct accusation, presumably in the third person.
The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 
The final line is a direct accusation, and the only of the three in second person.
It becomes clear here that Ezra seems to be less interested in the specific opposing ideas and more in the conflict between the two, and the dissonance between that conflict and each of the participant's apparent similarities. The words each one says are weaponized before they are even uttered, demolishing any chance for good faith discussion.

Chorus

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 
There are a couple bits of wordplay happening here, outside of the dream imagery.
The first, and most obvious, is the phrasing of "Ice Cream Piano" in the title and "I Scream Piano" in the verse; pointing back to the song's overarching metaphor, "Ice Cream Piano" and "I Scream Piano" are simple homophones, which is to say they are two different phrases spoken the same way -- here, two ideas saying the same thing.
The second bit of wordplay is the actual usage of "I scream piano." Ezra is purposefully employing the Italian-rooted musical usage of "piano" which, when present in a composition, means to play that section quietly. The second half of the line turns yet another self-contradictory observation into a double-entendre; the "screaming" piano is softened by the instruction of "piano."
The first line of the chorus, when coupled with the second, paints a picture of someone who desperately wants to express their beliefs but, whether it be because the screams are quiet or because screams themselves are not songs, the "singer" and their "song" are rejected by the world at large.
Framing this whole verse as a dream connects these ideas to the larger themes of the song, as being unable to run or scream in a dream is a fairly common experience for people, it seems as though Ezra is using the chorus here to highlight the end of the second verse, "the truth which is you've got nothing to say."
Another equally valid analysis is to literalize the quiet screaming; the anger and animosity between the couple motivates them only to scream, and never to sing. Their unending fighting reduces any opportunity for growth through debate to rubble; at this point, they just don't fucking like each other.

Verse 3

You talk of Serbians, whisper Kosovar Albanians The boy's Romanian, third generation Transylvanian I see the vampires walkin', don't be gripped by fear, you aren't next We're all the sons and daughters of vampires who drained the old world's necks 
Russian iconography is further mentioned throughout "Only God Was Above Us," and serves as one of the more important throughlines of the album -- connecting Ezra's familial history in Eastern Europe, their ties with Russia, and its relationship to modern issues. This, as the first reference in the album to Russia at large, works as a bit of place setting.
Here, the specific namedrops highlight the same conflict described earlier in the song; the Serbians and Kosovo were once a united country as Yugoslavia, but were split by civil war as a result of fundamental ideological differences at the end of the last millennium. Moreover, the usage of "talk" versus "whisper" implies open discussion about the first (Serbia) and the need to sweep the more complicated history of the second (The Kosovar Albanians, the Kosovo War) under the rug.
The conflict between Romania, Kosovo, and Serbia is a deeply complicated and delicate situation that spans generations of ideological and political conflict. The mention of the Romanian's history surrounded by the context of Serbia and Kosovo, and the subsequent criticism of that observation, again highlights the nature of the conflict between the two individuals in the song: where one recognizes the material legacy of these terrible "vampires," the other points out that the new generation is not the old, and are not necessarily beholden to their crimes or traditions.

Chorus 2

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

Outro / Chorus 3

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 
The repetition of the choruses at the end of the song, combined with the strong call-and-response of the instrumentation between and after the chorus and outro sections, points towards an unending conflict. By the end of the song's narrative, neither side has arrived at a compromise. In reference to the album, "Ice Cream Piano" serves as a massive "YOU ARE HERE" marker on a larger map of western and American political culture. There's a pretty clear line to draw from the struggle between the two characters described in this song and the ouroboric nature of modern-day political discourse, as we witness two parties cannibalize each other in an attempt to garner support from a majority of peoples. But to say that's the entire message of the song feels reductive to the incredible songwriting here. Even that conclusion lends to the broader observation of two ideas that exist only to oppose the other.
Fuckin Ezra, man
submitted by mylostlights to Vampireweekend [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:18 Demoneyeskels AITAH for reaching out to my estranged mother against my sisters’ wishes

I (35f) have found evidence that my mother who has been missing 20 years is still alive and is out and about. I have 4 siblings, Jane 37, Ann 33, Fran, 33, and Crystal 30. We were all raised together, even though some of us our half siblings. Jane and I are full siblings. I never really separated any of us because we all share the same my mom and were raised together so I just call every sister; sister. When I was 12 years old, my mother asked me a question “if you had to choose with being with me or your sisters, who would you rather be with?”. I remember telling my mom I would rather be with her, then a month later, she woke me up in the middle of the night and told me we were leaving. A bit a background, we were extremely poor, living in shelters or government assistance. There were many times we went to bed hungry, but sometime my mom would wake me up and take “us” (me and her) to get food. My mom was my everything from a very young age. Anything she believed in, thought or taught me, I retained over the years and found them to be important. Like “join the military, if you don’t know what you want to do” “treat every relationship like it will be you last (i.e. do everything to take care of your man). I did 4 years in the army, and every relationship, I put way more into than I should’ve. But in my eyes, these were things I was supposed to retained and respect. When I hit 13.5 years old, everything changed. In 2002, the state, government, DCS, CPS, DCFS, whatever it is in your state found me. They found me at school and took me away to live with my sisters and Grandfather (someone I was always told was dead). I finally saw my sisters again, I was happy about that. But it also came with its own set of problems. “Where have you been? What happened? Why did you?”, Ect, etc. Of course, I had no answers, the choice to pick my mom or them, I couldn’t say how it all went down in the beginning, keep in mind I was 12 to 14 in this whole process. After a while my sisters and I were able to get passed that decision I made. We ended up having “visitation” with my mother. She came to two visits, promised we would see her again and then disappeared. She reached out one other time after the 2nd visitation to tell ME, she was in the hospital for trying to kill herself, literally my last conversation with her. This happened in 2002/03, it all blurs this point in 2024. So they found out me with my sisters and grandfather (someone I remember my mother saying was dead already when I was with her). So my mother raised me until I was 13, and my grandfather took care of me from 14 to 24. Over the years, I would always try to look for her, I would used reverse address sites, stuff like “BeenVerified” “Truthfinder” and other reversed address websites. Anything I could afford to find her, never had enough money for a private investigator. But thought all the websites I never found substantial information. And I did this at least once every other year for about 14 years. It was devastating nothing ever panning out, but life goes on. May 2016, her father my grandfather passed away. He left $100,000, to each of his children. At the time I definitely thought, this is when I’ll see her again, this is when I’ll know what happened, because of course she will show up to get her inheritance
. Wrong
 so wrong, she never popped up and just continued to be gone. Our original state is California. In Cali, if someone is missing for 5 years you can you can have the courts declare them deceased, it’s paperwork and exhausting, but also totally doable. I waited 8 years to start the process of trying to get the inheritance (it was never about the money, but in my mind, if it’s just there with the State, forget all that, give it to her struggling kids). So in January 2024 I started the process so me and all my sisters can get the inheritance. I was preparing documentation for the next court date and stumbled across a copy of my mother’s ID and birth certificate. I found it through the court because she was trying to get her inheritance exactly at the 5 year mark. I feel awkward. I prayed and hope for a long time that I would see her again, but after 20 years, I figured she must have died, People don’t just leave 5 children behind and forget about them
. Now that I was trying to better the lives of me and my sisters, now I find her information
. (It’s all too weird) I know life isn’t fair, and people have it better and worse than me. But I’m also like, what type of bullshit is this, I was finally ready to move on, now’s there’s a small glimmer of hope that I’ll see her again
 you have got to be shitting me
 I found her info a 2 days before Mother’s Day, just another slap in the face. So all that is the background to the AITA post. So now after explaining to 3 of my sisters that “she” found and I have an address for her, this is where the disconnect starts. Jane and Ann, wants nothing to do with her, they’re hurt, she left us, I get it, atleast to a certain extent. There’s so much hate because she disappeared. But myself and Fran, wants any and all information to understand what happened. It’s not normal to go AWOL so we want to know wtf happened. Unfortunately Crystal died in 2022, but she has explained her feelings before and she would definitely be on Jane and Ann side. Once again, I get it, we were all abandoned for over 20 years. I’m just a person that needs/ wants closure. And Fran is with me on that. Jane and Ann don’t want me to “poke the bear” there are completely over the situation, so when I mentioned reaching out, they both want absolutely nothing to do with it. And Jane doesn’t want me to reach out at all. But in my mind, I’ve been searching for years, so I want some contact if possible. So earlier today, I wrote a letter and sent that along of a copy of my youngest sister obituary to beg, super beg for my mom to respond me to try to have a relationship with her against my sisters wishes. I asked Jane and Ann for permission to send the letter, and the answer was pretty much “don’t do it”. I usually try to be super mindful of other peoples feelings and what they have been through ( I’m a Social Worker). But I felt like I couldn’t deny my feelings and I had to reach out. I’d be lying if I said I hated her, or didn’t want a real relationship with her. Over the years I started to say the same things as Jane and Ann, but I know part of that is believing I would never have the chance to see her again. But as of right now, that’s no longer the case. So AITA for reaching out to my estranged mother against my Sisters wishes?
submitted by Demoneyeskels to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 09:13 n-0625 Going through the worst phase

I need help. I apologise for the long post.
I was in a relationship with a guy that I met in my last office. We instantly had a strong connection as we were meeting in a foreign country and we have the same nationality. Our connection was strong and we were like best friends. We were drawn to each other. We started dating two months after meeting.
When we met he was already facing some problems regarding his visa. Also, he was facing issues with his residence at the time. Before we started seeing each other, he told me about not being able to find a place. I jokingly mentioned to him that one of my flatmates has gone to her country for a while. So he asked if he could live with us. My flatmate and I agreed upon having him in the house for a few days. Later on those few days turned into 6 months, 4 months without even paying the rent. It got to a point that my flatmates were also getting frustrated because of a guy being in house. Even though, he was veru respectful of us.
During this time we were living together, we started dating each and we got intimate. We were happy with each other. We used to joke and have fun. We used to do our groceries and plan our dinners together. I used to cover the expenses sometimes and other times we split. But I was the one who always cooked. So we were sort of like in a live in relationship.
After 6 months of dating his visa got rejected and he went back to our country. We decided we would continue long-term since we had made each other a commitment of marriage. The plan was for him to find a job and once things get settled down, we will talk to our families. We both are in our mid twenties.
However, what ended up happening was that he stopped replying to my messages. I gave him a lot of space for two months, without him asking for it. There were times when I used to just ask him how he is and he did not reply for days. I was still being patient.
Until one day I randomly decided to open his profile on Facebook and I could not find it. I found out that he had blocked me for no reason as my friend could see his profile. It was only on facebook. We were still connected on the other platforms. I called him and messaged him all day when I found out. When we finally talked he denied all of it. Then later on he completely deactivated his profile. My gut instinct was that he is hiding something from me.
Maybe his family got him engaged somewhere (this is common in our culture). I wanted to breakup with him that day but he said I am going through a lot so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I stayed quite again for 2 or 3 weeks more. Then one day I decided I need my answer, I need to know why is he doing this. So I texted him. Called him a few times. To no avail. Then finally at night he texted and we talked. He broke up with me on text saying that our personalities are very different and he does not think we should be together. I absolutely do not agree with him because we had a lot of fun together and we were good together.
Anway, at that time I did not reply because I simply did not know what to say. The next day I replied to him when I found out he removed me from his Instagram. I confronted him for everything but he ended up blaming me for everything. He said I am the one who put all of this in his head. I am the one who made him breakup etc. I did no such thing. He was ghosting me for 2 months and I justed had to know if the relationship still exists or not.
Now, we are absolutely no contact since the past one a half month. However, I can't seem to feel better no matter what. Every day is worse than the day before. I still don't know why did he do this to me and that is eating me up from the inside. Even though I have not lived an easy but I have never come to this point before. I can't take this pain anymore. Its killing me. I need to know why. I want my closure but I know I won't get it because he acts like I don't exist anymore. He knew my heart was already broken before but he ended up breaking it more.
Plus, I have a lot of religious guilt for being intimate with him. I am not the sort of girl who would usually do something like this.
I would appreciate any advice, tips, or a third person insight into the situation. Thank you very much
submitted by n-0625 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 08:23 johnruby Meursault - Character Speculation & Analysis (based on the source literature)

Meursault - Character Speculation & Analysis (based on the source literature)
I feel embarrassed that I've been playing Limbus Company for 2~ weeks and only now I found that he's based on Albert Camus' L'Etranger, one of my favorite novels of all time (I'm native Taiwanese and more familiar with the Chinese translation, therefore I forgot how to spell Meursault in English/French smh).
I know LCB Sinners are only loosely based on the source literature, but I really like both Meursault's characters in the game and in the source, and through this post I want to provide my preliminary speculations of Meursault's in-game story from a more source material oriented perspective.
____

Plot Summary

If you're interested in the novel's plot, here's a previous post summarizing the general storyline. But in short, the novel is entirely narrated from the main character Meursault's perspective, who only speaks in an extremely descriptive and indifferent manner (just like LCB Meursault). His mother passed away at the begining of the story and he couldn't even confidently specify the date of her mother's death, hence the world-famous opening line "Mom died today. Or perhaps yesterday, I do not know."
Later in the story, under the overwhelming heat from the sun, Meursault ── quite inexplainably ── shot an Arab to death on the beach with a revolver, and got incarcerated for a year prior to trial. His seemingly indifferent and atheistic attitude towards his crime and defense infuriated the prosecutor, and ended up causing him to be sentenced to death. Before execution, a chaplain visited his cell and asked him to abandon atheism and apathy, to which Meursault furiously refuted that people are all condemned to die one day, so nothing ultimately matters, which is the first time (iirc) Meursault displays any significant amount of human emotion. The novel ends with Meursault alone in his cell, contemplating his imminent death and opening his heart "to the benign indifference of the universe".
visibly confused
So, that's the gist of the novel. "What a weird and somewhat perplexing story" you might say. It's natural for you to want to follow up with the question: "What is the story truly about?"
____

Philosophical Context

L'Etranger is a very philosophy-oriented story, which means it's more intended to assert a philosophical standpoint or raise a philosophical question rather than trying to be intriguing, entertaining, or straightforward. I'd say Meursault's character is key to understand the novel. He seems weird because the author is not trying to make him realistic or relatable (which doesn't mean he's impossible to relate to, though; I find myself often agreeing with his reasoning throughout the story). He is basically a tool or device, embodying and presenting Camus' absurdism philosophy.
So, what is absurdism? It's a school of thought orignated from existentialism. Existentialism is a broad term used to describe various philosophies that explore the issues caused by human's existence in the universe, such as meaning, purpose, value, free will, and the ramifications of their absence, while absurdism is more laser focusing on the issues dervied from "absurd".
"Absurd" refers to the uncomfortable situation in which humans try to find (often futilely) meaning in a meaningless world, reason with an irrational world, plead against an indifferent word, etc. Due to the conflicting nature of the relationship between humans and the external world, absurdism claims that the entirety of human existence is "absurd" ── It makes no sense and feels hopeless and paralyzing. Absurdism is essentially people trying to figure out how to deal with such an awkward situation. At one point, Camus even seriously discussed if suicide is a legitimate solution for the absurdity of human life (tldr: it's NOT. Don't try it at home.) in his othoer book Le Mythe de Sisyphe, and Sysyphis futilely rolling a boulder up a hill only for it to roll back down in eternilty subsequently becomes the most well-known symbol for absurdism.
sorry for the lengthy explanations
Back to Meursault. He is basically a thought experiment by Camus, attempting to answer the question: "What if a person is fully aware of the absurdity of human existence? What kind of person he/she will become?" The result is a man who seems apathetic towards human emotion and societal rules, who feels like a stranger (hence the title) in the world. However, deep down he is brutally honest to both himself and others, is perceptive and even somewhat passionate about nature, and is constantly suffering from his acute awareness of absurdity, but will never cover up or trade away this suffering with a lie.
It's worth noting that, from Camus' perspective, Meursault is not the only possible result of a man directly staring into the abyss of absurdity. In his other fantastic work Caligula (minor spoiler ahead!), the main character Caligula is fully committed to fighting aganist the absurdity, and ends up spiraling into madness. Meursault is way more passive and submissive than Caligula, but the starting points of their reasoning are surprisingly similiar: the conlict between humans and the inhuman universe is irreconcilable, and the most important thing in our life is how to continue living happily and fulfilling despite the paradoxical nature of human existence. Also btw, both stories start with (or are triggered by) the death of a close family member: Meursault's mother, and Caligula's sister and lover.
If you're interested in further exploring the concept of absurdity, I'd highly recommend giving Jean-Paul Satre's novel La Nausée a read. This existentialist philosophical novel also presents its main character more as a presentation device than a conventionally engaging protagonist. It's bascially the main character's diary and random thoughts and can hardly be described as a well-structured story. But that's the point: humans crave to be a story character in a world deprived of any storyline. Every time the main character is struck by the feeling of absurdity, he often feels irresistible nausea (hence the title).
Chains of Others
Interestingly, Satre's philosophy may also be relevant in terms of in-game Meursault. Meursault's basic EGO is called "Chains of Others", and its passive is called "Refusal to Judge", which is likely a reference to Satre's world-famous quote from his play Huis clos: "Hell is other people." To be clear, Satre is not saying that other people are always adversaries or hellish. Instead he meant that people become frozen after death, unable any longer to fend off other people's interpretation and judgement. In life, we can still do something to manage the impression we make; but in death, we're left entombed in other people's memories and perceptions. This may imply that Meursault feels powerless against the gaze and judgements of others, which could be his main obstacle to overcome during his future Canto before moving forward.
____

Speculations

So, that's all the literary context I'd like to provide here. What can we speculate about in-game Meursault from these source materials?
Tbh, I don't think PM will incorporate many philosophical elements into Meursault's backstory, becasue it'd be difficult to make him engaging and accessible to a broader audience. Here's the list of speculations I made based on (very loosely) the source literature mentioned above:
  1. Despite the indifferent and monotonous manner, Meursault probably craves (or used to crave) for purpose, for serving a higher and meaningful cause. This could be the reason why he initially joined N Corp, to find meaning via the religious fanatism.
  2. In his promo trailer, Meursault said "Today, I killed mother. Or maybe it was yesterday." which is quite different from the original quote "Today mother died. Or maybe it was yesterday." Assuming Meursault indeed intentionally kiiled his mother, it could be because his mother disobeyed the religious rules set by N Corp or defied their authority, or something horrible happened to his mother and he had no choice but to end her life (e.g. his mother turned into a Distortion. He did mention he's dealt with Distortions in the past). His cold description of his mother's death could be due to his apathy or nihilist worldview in general, or due to him strictly following N Corp's rules and trying to suppress his normal human emotions.
  3. Meursault mentioned (in Intervallo III) that his mom used to reprimand him the same way Outis does. His mom could've been very strict in raising Meursault, which may contribute to Meursault's monotonous demeanor. Their relationship could've been quite intense before she was killed by Meursault. This may also contribute to Meursault's reticency (children often criticized tend to become less likely to speak up) and efficiency (children often punished tend to do things more efficiently in self-preservation), both traits are more prominent than in-novel Meursault.
  4. In his promo trailer, Meursault said "They are difficult to understand... Nevermind. That was a pointless anecdote. It was a waste of my energy." It seems that he's genuinely perplexed and has difficulty understanding normal human emotion. This line gives me a strong neurodivergent vibe. Therefore I think in-game Meursault genuinely doesn't (fully) understand how human emotion works, while in-novel Meursault intentionally chooses to be apathetic due to his philosophical stance.
  5. In his promo trailer and in the picture of "Chains of Others", it seems that Meursault was on trial in front of a crowd. It could be a reference to the trial scene in the novel. I think in-game Meursault was being tried for his murder (potentially of his mother), similar to in-novel Meursault being tried for murdering the Arab. Her mother could be an important figure within N Corp or the community, hence the dramatic reactions from the crowd.
  6. I think Meursault was genuinely feeling pain and all sorts of negative emotions during the trial. The EGO "Chains of Others" and the passive "Refusal to Judge" may imply that deep down he's trying hard to resist the negative judgement by others or by the crowd shouting in the court, or by his mom, or by his other comrades in the past. But his neurodivergent personality prevented him from wailing or shouting back or seeking help in a conventional manner. Instead, he can only describe the pain in a very objective and detached monologue: "Questions shaped from various emotions smothered my breath slowly."
  7. At the end of his promo trailer, Meursault said "... the sunlight was just overwhelming, that's all.", which is a reference to the novel scene in which Meursault killed an Arab on the beach and attributed such murder to the sweltering sunlight (which I believe is symbolizing the absurdity). I think maybe in-game Meursault killed his mother under a similar circumstance (in an outdoor sunlit environment), but for a different reason. This line could be that he's merely tired of the roaring crowd, and instead of wasting his breath explaining his motivation, he used this random sunlight as an excuse instead. Tbh, I'm not sure what's the meaning behind the "sun" or "sunlight" in terms of Meursault's in-game story. It seems very important to him, but there're too few pieces for me to speculate further.
Meursault's in-game icon
____
Overall, I feel that in-game Meursault has less autonomy than the novel version, and was definitely way more traumatized by certain undisclosed events in his past (which seems like the common trait of all Sinners). But both of their worldviews in general could be similar. They both seem aware of the dread of the inescapable silence and indiffernece inherent in the outside universe. But in-novel Meursault had already disenchanted all the illusions of meaning at the begining of the novel, while in-game Meursault seems to still be struggling to find something to grasp onto, to anchor his purposeless and directionless life.
____
Thank you for the patience reading this long post!
Lastly, I'm no expert in philosophy or literature in general. I'm also very new to the PM universe and unfamiliar with previous games and stories. So if any of the above is laughably misguided for you, feel free to corret me.
https://preview.redd.it/xq7qhvo9nr0d1.png?width=461&format=png&auto=webp&s=003274b8feabf19d4697bd06d3acd255e92692df
submitted by johnruby to limbuscompany [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 08:03 Mindless-Society_ Neighbours want to remove dead trees instead of replanting it

I moved recently to a new development that was build 2 years ago. We bought the house from a previous owner, who had bought it from the developer. When I saw the house I was very excited that there were 4 trees planted in front of the development/house, at that point it was winter and I thought the trees were naked because of it. Recently I found out that they are actually dead 💔
I found a gardener and got a quote to replace the trees and let the neighbours know to see if they’d agree with the quote, for my surprise, majority wants the trees removed, apart from another house. This is a small development with only 8 houses. The thing is, on the contract it says that the front area can’t be touched for 5 years and that the trees must be replaced if dead. Neighbours want to break contract by leaving the dead trees for 5 years there and then remove them.
I plan to make this house my home for many years and the trees are really important to me, as I would love to be able to look outside and see them. I want to reason with the neighbours to convince them not to break the contract, saying the consequences and also that I don’t feel comfortable doing it.
Would you be able to help me with this, please 🙏 What could be the legal consequences for everyone if we break the contract? I didn’t buy the house from the developer, does this contract applies to me? Can they remove the trees after 5 years or would they need planning permission? Would the developer be liable to pay for new trees, as the ones dead died in the first year during their care?
Sorry for all of the questions, but I really don’t know what to do. I want to keep a good relationship with the neighbours, but I also want to make sure the house I bought is like it should be.
Thank you in advance!
EDIT: the trees are located in the common area of the development, where all the houses share the ownership.
submitted by Mindless-Society_ to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 07:54 Opening-Order626 Getting your confidence back

My baby d and I have been separated for almost 5 months. He’s said some awful things to me like “good luck trying to find somebody to love you and deal with you.” My confidence and self esteem have taken a significant toll. I know I’m a hot mess sometimes but I got so hot and so messy after having a baby
. Like I just had a baby?!
He’s ready to date again
lol. I’m definitely not. Not feeling myself lately nor have I gotten the closure I need from our relationship. So sad yo close this chapter with him but if he’s ready to move on I guess I have to one day too. How can I get my confidence back? I just feel so awkward trying to date in my late 20s again as a single mom.
submitted by Opening-Order626 to singlemoms [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 07:51 Helpful-Language1077 My friend (M27) who I used to have a crush on confessed his feelings for me (F26) as I was dating my boyfriend (M26). I didn't say anything at the time, and we're both in relationships now. I still think about it 2 years later. How should I go about this?

My friend (M27) and I (F26) had been friends for 5 years before me and my boyfriend (M26) started dating. I had a mini crush on him when we first met, but I didn't really think about it too much because I valued our friendship so much. He saw me date guys on and off but never really talked about other girls. In the fall of 2022, after talking about it for a while, he finally moved to my city. Right at that time, I met my boyfriend and was quickly falling in love.
I was totally oblivious to the fact that my friend was interested in me. About 3 months into me and my boyfriend dating, my friend confessed that he had had a crush on me since we first met. He said he needed to step away from our friendship because it was too hard to be around me. At the time, I didn't know what to say or do - so he just walked away. Honestly, I thought about telling him that I used to have a crush on him too, but I didn't think it would be fair to my boyfriend to do that. Weighing between the two options, I felt like my boyfriend was probably the best fit for me. So I let it go and decided it was in everyone's best interest to not explore that option or say anything.
Shortly after, he started dating his now girlfriend. They're still together.
I haven't spoken to him since he confessed his feelings for me. Now almost 2 years later, I still think about it and regret not saying anything in the beginning.
I'm coming to realize that there are certain personality traits with my boyfriend that I'm not happy with, i.e. traits that make it harder for my family to come around to liking him. I find myself thinking about my friend and how it could've made my life a bit easier. I know it's not helpful to compare because they're both completely different people, but I still find that I can't stop thinking about it. I also am feeling more pressure because my boyfriend wants to get married soon.
Is it ever okay to reach out to a guy that's in a relationship? I acknowledge that it would be more for myself to gain closure and to at least express my feelings about it, since I never gave him a full answer.
TLDR; my friend who I used to have a crush on confessed his feelings for me as I was dating my boyfriend. I didn't say anything at the time, and we're both in relationships now. I still think about it 2 years later. What should I do?
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2024.05.16 07:45 Helpful-Language1077 My friend (M27) who I used to have a crush on confessed his feelings for me. I was dating my boyfriend (M26), so I didn't say anything back. I still think about it 2 years later - what should I do?

My friend (M27) and I (F26) had been friends for 5 years before me and my boyfriend (M26) started dating. I had a mini crush on him when we first met, but I didn't really think about it too much because I valued our friendship so much. He saw me date guys on and off but never really talked about other girls. In the fall of 2022, after talking about it for a while, he finally moved to my city. Right at that time, I met my boyfriend and was quickly falling in love.
I was totally oblivious to the fact that my friend was interested in me. About 3 months into me and my boyfriend dating, my friend confessed that he had had a crush on me since we first met. He said he needed to step away from our friendship because it was too hard to be around me. At the time, I didn't know what to say or do - so he just walked away. Honestly, I thought about telling him that I used to have a crush on him too, but I didn't think it would be fair to my boyfriend to do that. Weighing between the two options, I felt like my boyfriend was probably the best fit for me. So I let it go and decided it was in everyone's best interest to not explore that option or say anything.
Shortly after, he started dating his now girlfriend. They're still together.
I haven't spoken to him since he confessed his feelings for me. Now almost 2 years later, I still think about it and regret not saying anything in the beginning.
I'm coming to realize that there are certain personality traits with my boyfriend that I'm not happy with, i.e. traits that make it harder for my family to come around to liking him. I find myself thinking about my friend and how it could've made my life a bit easier. I know it's not helpful to compare because they're both completely different people, but I still find that I can't stop thinking about it. I also think I'm feeling more pressure because my boyfriend wants to get married soon.
Is it ever okay to reach out to a guy that's in a relationship? I acknowledge that it would be more for myself to gain closure and to at least express my feelings about it, since I never gave him a full answer.
submitted by Helpful-Language1077 to Advice [link] [comments]


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