Beulah mcgillicutty day dreaming
Just made up my own Marvel Universe for fun. AMA.
2024.05.17 01:48 SpurnedSprocket Just made up my own Marvel Universe for fun. AMA.
Earth-3589
Superheroes have only been around for about Six years now, emerging in the year 2015. Peter Parker is still enrolled at ESU at 21, Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson only just started their new law firm in Hell's Kitchen after graduating from Columbia last year. The Avengers are currently operating out of the brand spanking new base the Impossible City, the FF are going strong at the Baxter Building with the She-Hulk temporarily taking Thing's place, Doctor Strange is Sorcerer Supreme operating out of the Sanctum Sanctorum in Greenwich, the Inhumans are still on the moon in Attilan, and The X-Men are diligently teaching younger students at Charles Xavier's School for gifted Youngsters... for now.
The FF and X-men, and plenty of Street-level heroes such as Spidey and DD debuted in Year One, with the Avengers following suit in Year Two. Though the heroes that formed the Avengers such as Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Black Panther, etc. debuted in year one, they didn't form Earth's Mightiest Heroes until the frozen Captain America was discovered in Year Two, and then there came a day unlike any other.
They operated out of Avengers Tower for the first four years, before it was eventually destroyed during an invasion by Ultron, resulting in them taking up residence in Ultron's former base the Impossible City, currently orbiting the Earth for the pst year. Current members are T'Challa (current chair person), Iron Man, Captain Marvel , Thor, Wonder Man, Beast, Scarlet Witch.
Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne both perished in the struggle against Ultron with Scott Lang already having become the second Ant-Man, and Cap is off looking for Bucky at the moment with the aid of the Falcon.
Peter Parker grew up with his parents until he was about five years old and his parents died, resulting in him being sent to live with his mother's sister May and her husband Ben (they're relatively young only about 50 at the event of Peter becoming Spider-Man). He became best friends with Harry Osborn (and they have a healthy friendship, think Insomniac for their friendship) at around ten, and they both befriended Carlie Cooper (the love of this Peter's life) in freshman year of High School. Then of course, he got bitten by the genetically altered Spider, and selfishly attempted to cash in on his powers, before learning that great Power there must also come great responsibility at a terrible price. But here's the kicker ... Aunt May died instead of Uncle Ben, the robber being an affilate under Kingpin (while Fisk didn't order the murder, the killer still worked under him).
He is good friends with Johnny Storm and Bobby Drake, with the three of them meeting every once in a while at the Statue of Liberty. He also dated Jessica Jones for a while in this reality before she got her powers, eventually ending things just before college started. Meanwhile, Uncle Ben has opened up a boarding home for seniors in his house after Peter moved out for college. J. Jonah Jameson's reputation has been permanently ruined due to his involvement in the creation of The Scorpion, and the Spot to capture Spider-Man through illegal experimentation, which resulting in mass civilian casualties in the former's quest to gain vengeance upon Jonah including his wife and son, leading to Robbie becoming Publisher of the Daily Bugle as of Year Five. And Jameson becomes embittered, blaming Spider-Man for everything that ultimately leads to Jonah embracing the identity of the Spider-Slayer.
Carlie meanwhile has always dreamed of becoming a C.S.I like her father, before recently discovering that her father was involved in a police conspiracy against the costumed heroes, resulting in her turning him in. Peter and Carlie are currently together after a very long wait, and is it actually going rather well for our webhead. Norman Osborn has not yet become the Green Goblin, however Spidey still has plenty of enemies to keep him busy such as Doc Ock, Mysterio, Kraven, and Kingpin to name a few. (Also this is a bit of an aesthetic choice for me but in this reality Peter's webs are actually red instead of white in this reality).
Ben Reilly was created by Miles Warren in Year Four, before he managed to escape and was laying low in the city for a couple of months, and after teaming up with Peter to put a stop to the Jackel, departs for San Francisco to make a life for himself as the Scarlet Spider, with help from Peter who asked the FF to help set up his identity such as forging him a G.E.D, Driver's license, Birth certificate, Etc. Peter and Ben still keep in touch and consider each other brothers.
Twins Matt and Mike Murdock grew up raised by their father Jack Murdock after the death of their mother in a tragic accident that also resulted in Matt's blindness. Matthew had always obeyed their father's wish to be more focused on books and studying to make something of himself, while Mike rebelled and preferred the world of sports and popularity. However, after his blindness Matt secretly trained with Stick to sharpen his other senses, to Eventually when the twins were sixteen they went to view their father's boxing match for the championship title and Jack refused to throw the match against due to his sons' watching, determined to show them that "Their old man may be a loser, but he ain't no quitter." Immediately after the match he was gunned down by Wilson Fisk, before he became the Kingpin. After their father's death the twins dealt with in their own ways, Mike turned to grifting in order to support himself and his brother while in the foster system, while Matt grew determined to use his training to seek justice for his father, and to gain his law degree to fulfill his father's wishes for him.
The X-Men are still in Westchester teaching the gifted Youngsters. In this reality the New Mutants team serves as a junior varsity team for any young mutants hoping to become future X-men, sort of like the big dogs on campus. However within the year things will certainly get rather... firey if you catch my drift.
Current members of the X-Men are... Magik, Colossus, Storm, Wolverine, Psylocke, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, and Sunfire. (Also in this reality Nightcrawler takes Angel's place as one of the founding members of the X-Men.)
Current Roster for New Mutants: Armor, Pixie, Jubilee, Glob, Dust, Sunspot, and Triage.
While the big teams aren't reliably in New York due to their missions, the street-level heroes who are regularly in New York are, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist (the two already having formed Heroes For Hire in Year Three), superpowered P.I Jessica Jones, Moon Knight, and the recently emerged sixteen year olds Cloak and Dagger, having debuted about six months ago. They've all got beef with Kingpin, but none more so than Spidey and DD, with Fisk being considered both of their archnemeses .
Also Punisher's running around, only to get constantly beaten down by the other heroes, cause of his craziness.
As for the FF, the Secret Wars on Battleworld took place last year, with the Thing hanging back on Battleworld to explore the universe for a while after he shedded his rocky epidermis and (think Ultimate Marvel Ben Grimm) ,while She-Hulk has been filling his vacancy on the FF for the past year, and Sue and Reed are gratefully raising their twins Franklin and Valeria Richards.
submitted by SpurnedSprocket to marvelcomics [link] [comments]
Superheroes have only been around for about Six years now, emerging in the year 2015. Peter Parker is still enrolled at ESU at 21, Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson only just started their new law firm in Hell's Kitchen after graduating from Columbia last year. The Avengers are currently operating out of the brand spanking new base the Impossible City, the FF are going strong at the Baxter Building with the She-Hulk temporarily taking Thing's place, Doctor Strange is Sorcerer Supreme operating out of the Sanctum Sanctorum in Greenwich, the Inhumans are still on the moon in Attilan, and The X-Men are diligently teaching younger students at Charles Xavier's School for gifted Youngsters... for now.
The FF and X-men, and plenty of Street-level heroes such as Spidey and DD debuted in Year One, with the Avengers following suit in Year Two. Though the heroes that formed the Avengers such as Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Black Panther, etc. debuted in year one, they didn't form Earth's Mightiest Heroes until the frozen Captain America was discovered in Year Two, and then there came a day unlike any other.
They operated out of Avengers Tower for the first four years, before it was eventually destroyed during an invasion by Ultron, resulting in them taking up residence in Ultron's former base the Impossible City, currently orbiting the Earth for the pst year. Current members are T'Challa (current chair person), Iron Man, Captain Marvel , Thor, Wonder Man, Beast, Scarlet Witch.
Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne both perished in the struggle against Ultron with Scott Lang already having become the second Ant-Man, and Cap is off looking for Bucky at the moment with the aid of the Falcon.
Peter Parker grew up with his parents until he was about five years old and his parents died, resulting in him being sent to live with his mother's sister May and her husband Ben (they're relatively young only about 50 at the event of Peter becoming Spider-Man). He became best friends with Harry Osborn (and they have a healthy friendship, think Insomniac for their friendship) at around ten, and they both befriended Carlie Cooper (the love of this Peter's life) in freshman year of High School. Then of course, he got bitten by the genetically altered Spider, and selfishly attempted to cash in on his powers, before learning that great Power there must also come great responsibility at a terrible price. But here's the kicker ... Aunt May died instead of Uncle Ben, the robber being an affilate under Kingpin (while Fisk didn't order the murder, the killer still worked under him).
He is good friends with Johnny Storm and Bobby Drake, with the three of them meeting every once in a while at the Statue of Liberty. He also dated Jessica Jones for a while in this reality before she got her powers, eventually ending things just before college started. Meanwhile, Uncle Ben has opened up a boarding home for seniors in his house after Peter moved out for college. J. Jonah Jameson's reputation has been permanently ruined due to his involvement in the creation of The Scorpion, and the Spot to capture Spider-Man through illegal experimentation, which resulting in mass civilian casualties in the former's quest to gain vengeance upon Jonah including his wife and son, leading to Robbie becoming Publisher of the Daily Bugle as of Year Five. And Jameson becomes embittered, blaming Spider-Man for everything that ultimately leads to Jonah embracing the identity of the Spider-Slayer.
Carlie meanwhile has always dreamed of becoming a C.S.I like her father, before recently discovering that her father was involved in a police conspiracy against the costumed heroes, resulting in her turning him in. Peter and Carlie are currently together after a very long wait, and is it actually going rather well for our webhead. Norman Osborn has not yet become the Green Goblin, however Spidey still has plenty of enemies to keep him busy such as Doc Ock, Mysterio, Kraven, and Kingpin to name a few. (Also this is a bit of an aesthetic choice for me but in this reality Peter's webs are actually red instead of white in this reality).
Ben Reilly was created by Miles Warren in Year Four, before he managed to escape and was laying low in the city for a couple of months, and after teaming up with Peter to put a stop to the Jackel, departs for San Francisco to make a life for himself as the Scarlet Spider, with help from Peter who asked the FF to help set up his identity such as forging him a G.E.D, Driver's license, Birth certificate, Etc. Peter and Ben still keep in touch and consider each other brothers.
Twins Matt and Mike Murdock grew up raised by their father Jack Murdock after the death of their mother in a tragic accident that also resulted in Matt's blindness. Matthew had always obeyed their father's wish to be more focused on books and studying to make something of himself, while Mike rebelled and preferred the world of sports and popularity. However, after his blindness Matt secretly trained with Stick to sharpen his other senses, to Eventually when the twins were sixteen they went to view their father's boxing match for the championship title and Jack refused to throw the match against due to his sons' watching, determined to show them that "Their old man may be a loser, but he ain't no quitter." Immediately after the match he was gunned down by Wilson Fisk, before he became the Kingpin. After their father's death the twins dealt with in their own ways, Mike turned to grifting in order to support himself and his brother while in the foster system, while Matt grew determined to use his training to seek justice for his father, and to gain his law degree to fulfill his father's wishes for him.
The X-Men are still in Westchester teaching the gifted Youngsters. In this reality the New Mutants team serves as a junior varsity team for any young mutants hoping to become future X-men, sort of like the big dogs on campus. However within the year things will certainly get rather... firey if you catch my drift.
Current members of the X-Men are... Magik, Colossus, Storm, Wolverine, Psylocke, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, and Sunfire. (Also in this reality Nightcrawler takes Angel's place as one of the founding members of the X-Men.)
Current Roster for New Mutants: Armor, Pixie, Jubilee, Glob, Dust, Sunspot, and Triage.
While the big teams aren't reliably in New York due to their missions, the street-level heroes who are regularly in New York are, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist (the two already having formed Heroes For Hire in Year Three), superpowered P.I Jessica Jones, Moon Knight, and the recently emerged sixteen year olds Cloak and Dagger, having debuted about six months ago. They've all got beef with Kingpin, but none more so than Spidey and DD, with Fisk being considered both of their archnemeses .
Also Punisher's running around, only to get constantly beaten down by the other heroes, cause of his craziness.
As for the FF, the Secret Wars on Battleworld took place last year, with the Thing hanging back on Battleworld to explore the universe for a while after he shedded his rocky epidermis and (think Ultimate Marvel Ben Grimm) ,while She-Hulk has been filling his vacancy on the FF for the past year, and Sue and Reed are gratefully raising their twins Franklin and Valeria Richards.
2024.05.17 01:47 SpurnedSprocket I made my own Marvel Universe for fun. AMA
Earth-3589
Superheroes have only been around for about Six years now, emerging in the year 2015. Peter Parker is still enrolled at ESU at 21, Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson only just started their new law firm in Hell's Kitchen after graduating from Columbia last year. The Avengers are currently operating out of the brand spanking new base the Impossible City, the FF are going strong at the Baxter Building with the She-Hulk temporarily taking Thing's place, Doctor Strange is Sorcerer Supreme operating out of the Sanctum Sanctorum in Greenwich, the Inhumans are still on the moon in Attilan, and The X-Men are diligently teaching younger students at Charles Xavier's School for gifted Youngsters... for now.
The FF and X-men, and plenty of Street-level heroes such as Spidey and DD debuted in Year One, with the Avengers following suit in Year Two. Though the heroes that formed the Avengers such as Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Black Panther, etc. debuted in year one, they didn't form Earth's Mightiest Heroes until the frozen Captain America was discovered in Year Two, and then there came a day unlike any other. They operated out of Avengers Tower for the first four years, before it was eventually destroyed during an invasion by Ultron, resulting in them taking up residence in Ultron's former base the Impossible City, currently orbiting the Earth for the pst year. Current members are T'Challa (current chair person), Iron Man, Captain Marvel , Thor, Wonder Man, Beast, Scarlet Witch.
Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne both perished in the struggle against Ultron with Scott Lang already having become the second Ant-Man, and Cap is off looking for Bucky at the moment with the aid of the Falcon.
Peter Parker grew up with his parents until he was about five years old and his parents died, resulting in him being sent to live with his mother's sister May and her husband Ben (they're relatively young only about 50 at the event of Peter becoming Spider-Man). He became best friends with Harry Osborn (and they have a healthy friendship, think Insomniac for their friendship) at around ten, and they both befriended Carlie Cooper (the love of this Peter's life) in freshman year of High School. Then of course, he got bitten by the genetically altered Spider, and selfishly attempted to cash in on his powers, before learning that great Power there must also come great responsibility at a terrible price. But here's the kicker ... Aunt May died instead of Uncle Ben, the robber being an affilate under Kingpin (while Fisk didn't order the murder, the killer still worked under him).
He is good friends with Johnny Storm and Bobby Drake, with the three of them meeting every once in a while at the Statue of Liberty. He also dated Jessica Jones for a while in this reality before she got her powers, eventually ending things just before college started. Meanwhile, Uncle Ben has opened up a boarding home for seniors in his house after Peter moved out for college. J. Jonah Jameson's reputation has been permanently ruined due to his involvement in the creation of The Scorpion, and the Spot to capture Spider-Man through illegal experimentation, which resulting in mass civilian casualties in the former's quest to gain vengeance upon Jonah including his wife and son, leading to Robbie becoming Publisher of the Daily Bugle as of Year Five. And Jameson becomes embittered, blaming Spider-Man for everything that ultimately leads to Jonah embracing the identity of the Spider-Slayer.
Carlie meanwhile has always dreamed of becoming a C.S.I like her father, before recently discovering that her father was involved in a police conspiracy against the costumed heroes, resulting in her turning him in. Peter and Carlie are currently together after a very long wait, and is it actually going rather well for our webhead. Norman Osborn has not yet become the Green Goblin, however Spidey still has plenty of enemies to keep him busy such as Doc Ock, Mysterio, Kraven, and Kingpin to name a few. (Also this is a bit of an aesthetic choice for me but in this reality Peter's webs are actually red instead of white in this reality).
Ben Reilly was created by Miles Warren in Year Four, before he managed to escape and was laying low in the city for a couple of months, and after teaming up with Peter to put a stop to the Jackel, departs for San Francisco to make a life for himself as the Scarlet Spider, with help from Peter who asked the FF to help set up his identity such as forging him a G.E.D, Driver's license, Birth certificate, Etc. Peter and Ben still keep in touch and consider each other brothers.
Twins Matt and Mike Murdock grew up raised by their father Jack Murdock after the death of their mother in a tragic accident that also resulted in Matt's blindness. Matthew had always obeyed their father's wish to be more focused on books and studying to make something of himself, while Mike rebelled and preferred the world of sports and popularity. However, after his blindness Matt secretly trained with Stick to sharpen his other senses, to Eventually when the twins were sixteen they went to view their father's boxing match for the championship title and Jack refused to throw the match against due to his sons' watching, determined to show them that "Their old man may be a loser, but he ain't no quitter." Immediately after the match he was gunned down by Wilson Fisk, before he became the Kingpin. After their father's death the twins dealt with in their own ways, Mike turned to grifting in order to support himself and his brother while in the foster system, while Matt grew determined to use his training to seek justice for his father, and to gain his law degree to fulfill his father's wishes for him.
The X-Men are still in Westchester teaching the gifted Youngsters. In this reality the New Mutants team serves as a junior varsity team for any young mutants hoping to become future X-men, sort of like the big dogs on campus. However within the year things will certainly get rather... firey if you catch my drift.
Current members of the X-Men are... Magik, Colossus, Storm, Wolverine, Psylocke, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, and Sunfire. (Also in this reality Nightcrawler takes Angel's place as one of the founding members of the X-Men.)
Current Roster for New Mutants: Armor, Pixie, Jubilee, Glob, Dust, Sunspot, and Triage.
While the big teams aren't reliably in New York due to their missions, the street-level heroes who are regularly in New York are, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist (the two already having formed Heroes For Hire in Year Three), superpowered P.I Jessica Jones, Moon Knight, and the recently emerged sixteen year olds Cloak and Dagger, having debuted about six months ago. They've all got beef with Kingpin, but none more so than Spidey and DD, with Fisk being considered both of their archnemeses .
Also Punisher's running around, only to get constantly beaten down by the other heroes, cause of his craziness.
As for the FF, the Secret Wars on Battleworld took place last year, with the Thing hanging back on Battleworld to explore the universe for a while after he shedded his rocky epidermis and (think Ultimate Marvel Ben Grimm) ,while She-Hulk has been filling his vacancy on the FF for the past year, and Sue and Reed are gratefully raising their twins Franklin and Valeria Richards.
submitted by SpurnedSprocket to Marvel [link] [comments]
Superheroes have only been around for about Six years now, emerging in the year 2015. Peter Parker is still enrolled at ESU at 21, Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson only just started their new law firm in Hell's Kitchen after graduating from Columbia last year. The Avengers are currently operating out of the brand spanking new base the Impossible City, the FF are going strong at the Baxter Building with the She-Hulk temporarily taking Thing's place, Doctor Strange is Sorcerer Supreme operating out of the Sanctum Sanctorum in Greenwich, the Inhumans are still on the moon in Attilan, and The X-Men are diligently teaching younger students at Charles Xavier's School for gifted Youngsters... for now.
The FF and X-men, and plenty of Street-level heroes such as Spidey and DD debuted in Year One, with the Avengers following suit in Year Two. Though the heroes that formed the Avengers such as Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Black Panther, etc. debuted in year one, they didn't form Earth's Mightiest Heroes until the frozen Captain America was discovered in Year Two, and then there came a day unlike any other. They operated out of Avengers Tower for the first four years, before it was eventually destroyed during an invasion by Ultron, resulting in them taking up residence in Ultron's former base the Impossible City, currently orbiting the Earth for the pst year. Current members are T'Challa (current chair person), Iron Man, Captain Marvel , Thor, Wonder Man, Beast, Scarlet Witch.
Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne both perished in the struggle against Ultron with Scott Lang already having become the second Ant-Man, and Cap is off looking for Bucky at the moment with the aid of the Falcon.
Peter Parker grew up with his parents until he was about five years old and his parents died, resulting in him being sent to live with his mother's sister May and her husband Ben (they're relatively young only about 50 at the event of Peter becoming Spider-Man). He became best friends with Harry Osborn (and they have a healthy friendship, think Insomniac for their friendship) at around ten, and they both befriended Carlie Cooper (the love of this Peter's life) in freshman year of High School. Then of course, he got bitten by the genetically altered Spider, and selfishly attempted to cash in on his powers, before learning that great Power there must also come great responsibility at a terrible price. But here's the kicker ... Aunt May died instead of Uncle Ben, the robber being an affilate under Kingpin (while Fisk didn't order the murder, the killer still worked under him).
He is good friends with Johnny Storm and Bobby Drake, with the three of them meeting every once in a while at the Statue of Liberty. He also dated Jessica Jones for a while in this reality before she got her powers, eventually ending things just before college started. Meanwhile, Uncle Ben has opened up a boarding home for seniors in his house after Peter moved out for college. J. Jonah Jameson's reputation has been permanently ruined due to his involvement in the creation of The Scorpion, and the Spot to capture Spider-Man through illegal experimentation, which resulting in mass civilian casualties in the former's quest to gain vengeance upon Jonah including his wife and son, leading to Robbie becoming Publisher of the Daily Bugle as of Year Five. And Jameson becomes embittered, blaming Spider-Man for everything that ultimately leads to Jonah embracing the identity of the Spider-Slayer.
Carlie meanwhile has always dreamed of becoming a C.S.I like her father, before recently discovering that her father was involved in a police conspiracy against the costumed heroes, resulting in her turning him in. Peter and Carlie are currently together after a very long wait, and is it actually going rather well for our webhead. Norman Osborn has not yet become the Green Goblin, however Spidey still has plenty of enemies to keep him busy such as Doc Ock, Mysterio, Kraven, and Kingpin to name a few. (Also this is a bit of an aesthetic choice for me but in this reality Peter's webs are actually red instead of white in this reality).
Ben Reilly was created by Miles Warren in Year Four, before he managed to escape and was laying low in the city for a couple of months, and after teaming up with Peter to put a stop to the Jackel, departs for San Francisco to make a life for himself as the Scarlet Spider, with help from Peter who asked the FF to help set up his identity such as forging him a G.E.D, Driver's license, Birth certificate, Etc. Peter and Ben still keep in touch and consider each other brothers.
Twins Matt and Mike Murdock grew up raised by their father Jack Murdock after the death of their mother in a tragic accident that also resulted in Matt's blindness. Matthew had always obeyed their father's wish to be more focused on books and studying to make something of himself, while Mike rebelled and preferred the world of sports and popularity. However, after his blindness Matt secretly trained with Stick to sharpen his other senses, to Eventually when the twins were sixteen they went to view their father's boxing match for the championship title and Jack refused to throw the match against due to his sons' watching, determined to show them that "Their old man may be a loser, but he ain't no quitter." Immediately after the match he was gunned down by Wilson Fisk, before he became the Kingpin. After their father's death the twins dealt with in their own ways, Mike turned to grifting in order to support himself and his brother while in the foster system, while Matt grew determined to use his training to seek justice for his father, and to gain his law degree to fulfill his father's wishes for him.
The X-Men are still in Westchester teaching the gifted Youngsters. In this reality the New Mutants team serves as a junior varsity team for any young mutants hoping to become future X-men, sort of like the big dogs on campus. However within the year things will certainly get rather... firey if you catch my drift.
Current members of the X-Men are... Magik, Colossus, Storm, Wolverine, Psylocke, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, and Sunfire. (Also in this reality Nightcrawler takes Angel's place as one of the founding members of the X-Men.)
Current Roster for New Mutants: Armor, Pixie, Jubilee, Glob, Dust, Sunspot, and Triage.
While the big teams aren't reliably in New York due to their missions, the street-level heroes who are regularly in New York are, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist (the two already having formed Heroes For Hire in Year Three), superpowered P.I Jessica Jones, Moon Knight, and the recently emerged sixteen year olds Cloak and Dagger, having debuted about six months ago. They've all got beef with Kingpin, but none more so than Spidey and DD, with Fisk being considered both of their archnemeses .
Also Punisher's running around, only to get constantly beaten down by the other heroes, cause of his craziness.
As for the FF, the Secret Wars on Battleworld took place last year, with the Thing hanging back on Battleworld to explore the universe for a while after he shedded his rocky epidermis and (think Ultimate Marvel Ben Grimm) ,while She-Hulk has been filling his vacancy on the FF for the past year, and Sue and Reed are gratefully raising their twins Franklin and Valeria Richards.
2024.05.17 01:46 Danielator36 Purdue to Chicago Flight: Photos, Video, and Review!
 | I took the first airline flight from the Purdue Airport to Chicago with a friend yesterday, so I figured I'd post some photos, a video, and a review here! submitted by Danielator36 to Purdue [link] [comments] Special Southern Airways Express Purdue livery At LAF: Since it was the first flight, we got to the airport ~60 minutes before our 6:20 AM flight. Judging by emails and calls from the airline, they usually just require arriving 30-45 minutes before the flight. You check in at the airline desk, and then wait nearby until they open TSA for your flight. (Side note- Parking is $5 per day, but there's also a free lot for ABC permits.) Purdue is building a new terminal next door, but it was still cool to see the renovations to the current one. The waiting area has some newly redone seats, general Purdue marketing decor, and vending machines nearby. Southern Airways also has free coffee for passengers, which was nice to see. Pre-TSA Waiting Area Pre-TSA Vending Machines ~20 minutes before departure, TSA opened. It was just like any other airport (including accepting pre-check!), except it took all of us ~3 minutes total! There's then a small waiting area, and airline staff opened the 'gate' for us to board just a minute or so after going through security. Boarding was quick, and everyone was assigned a seat based on weight. Flight: Heading towards Runway 10 We took off at 6:18 AM, and had a pretty uneventful ~1 hour flight to O'Hare. These flights seem to usually be ~45 minutes, but we had a bit of a longer route because of traffic/weather. Rainy day in West Lafayette We arrived in Chicago right on time- pulling into the gate at exactly 6:25 AM local time. All Southern Airways Express flights arrive and leave out of gate F4 in Chicago's terminal 2, which is pretty well-located for connections. N958SP amongst the United gates Final Thoughts: Full disclosure- I used to email airlines recommending that they fly to LAF when I was in elementary school, so these flights are very much a dream come true for me. Regardless, I was honestly impressed with how comfortable the plane was. The seats have way more padding and legroom than normal economy seats, and the large windows make for great views. I also found all the airport and airline staff to be super nice and excited for these new flights, and the small planes make it a much more personal, relaxed experience. On our way back, everyone for the flight arrived to the gate area ~1 hour before our scheduled departure, so our pilots ended up just flying us back way early- I found that really cool, and something you'll probably only experience on a small flight. As someone who visits Purdue/Greater Lafayette regularly, I'm really excited that this'll be an option going forward. I always have a connection when I fly to IND anyway, and the traffic and long shuttle ride out of ORD makes connecting into LAF a much better option for me. Cabin Feel free to ask any questions, and I'll do my best to answer them! |
2024.05.17 01:44 Kaisel_a Will you be able to live out your dream working as a NP?
I would like to first say I do apologize in advance if what I say maybe rude, please correct me below if it does. I'm currently a highschool student going into a 4 years nursing program in Oregon, the end goal was to become a Nurse Practioner. But sometimes reading posts on this sub or just the nurse made me realize the some places are wont pay you as much and sometimes you can't afford your living expenses. My question is, if you are currently a Nurse Practioner, were you able to enjoy your life? Buy/build your own dream home? How is your day to day life as well as your lifestyles? Are you able to do things you wanted without worrying about money? Sorry for these questions but while I do realize that becoming a nurse means you put your patients' health in front of all things, but I just wanted to see how my life would be like after schooling and in the long run. Thank you and sorry if I offended anybody.
submitted by Kaisel_a to nursepractitioner [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 01:44 PresentHabit8154 It’s honestly incredible how smart influencers *think* they are by starting BS companies
 | Enough said with the caption. Most of these influencer companies are absolutely awful but yet they all think they are the smartest people ever. Lol. submitted by PresentHabit8154 to gymsnark [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 01:42 softtechhubus Discover the Secret to Building Profitable Affiliate Stores in Minutes with Automation
 | https://preview.redd.it/ijya3oy7kv0d1.png?width=1663&format=png&auto=webp&s=a8d4135f9f1c44300212d6ca1f6cc11c2a711c4b submitted by softtechhubus to u/softtechhubus [link] [comments] IntroductionIn the world of affiliate marketing, the ability to create profitable online stores can be a game-changer. However, the process of building these stores from scratch is often riddled with challenges, from time-consuming content creation to complex technical barriers. That's where the power of automation comes into play, revolutionizing the way affiliate marketers approach their businesses.Imagine being able to establish a fully functional, content-rich affiliate store in mere minutes, without the need for extensive technical knowledge or hours of tedious work. This is the promise of automation, a solution that streamlines the entire process, allowing you to focus on what truly matters – driving traffic and maximizing your earnings. In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore the struggles of traditional affiliate store creation, the benefits of automation, and introduce you to a groundbreaking tool that promises to change the game forever. Get ready to unlock the secret to building profitable affiliate stores with unparalleled efficiency and ease. The Struggles of Traditional Affiliate Store CreationContent Creation: Time-consuming and Requires ExpertiseCreating high-quality, engaging content for your affiliate store is a time-consuming and often daunting task. From researching and writing product descriptions to crafting compelling sales copy, this process demands a significant investment of time and expertise. Without a solid content strategy in place, your store may struggle to attract and retain visitors, ultimately impacting your potential for success.Technical Barriers: Need for Coding or Technical SkillsSetting up an online store can be a technical minefield for those without coding or web development experience. From configuring hosting and domain settings to integrating payment gateways and optimizing for search engines, the technical aspects of store creation can quickly become overwhelming. This barrier to entry often discourages newcomers and limits the potential for growth.Product Selection: Difficulty in Choosing the Right ProductsChoosing the right products to feature in your affiliate store is crucial for maximizing your earning potential. However, navigating the vast landscape of available products and determining which ones resonate with your target audience can be a daunting task. Without a strategic approach, you risk promoting products that fail to generate substantial sales and commissions.Traffic Generation: Challenges in Driving Visitors to the StoreEven with a well-designed affiliate store, attracting a steady flow of targeted traffic is a significant challenge. From search engine optimization (SEO) to paid advertising and social media marketing, implementing effective traffic generation strategies requires a deep understanding of various marketing channels and techniques. Without a consistent stream of visitors, your store's potential for success remains limited.Affiliate Link Management: Complicated and Prone to ErrorsManaging affiliate links can be a tedious and error-prone process, especially as your store grows and the number of products increases. Ensuring that each product is accurately linked to the correct affiliate program and tracking the performance of these links can quickly become overwhelming. A single mistake in link management can lead to lost commissions and hinder your overall profitability.The Power of Automation in Affiliate MarketingIn the face of these challenges, automation emerges as a powerful solution, offering a range of benefits that can revolutionize the way you approach affiliate marketing and build profitable online stores.Efficiency: Save Time and ResourcesBy automating repetitive tasks and streamlining processes, you can significantly reduce the time and resources required to create and maintain your affiliate store. From content generation to product integration and link management, automation takes care of the heavy lifting, allowing you to focus your efforts on more strategic aspects of your business.Consistency: Automated Processes Ensure Uniformity and ReliabilityAutomation ensures consistency across your store, eliminating the risk of human error and inconsistencies that can arise from manual processes. With automated systems in place, you can rest assured that your store's content, product descriptions, and affiliate links are consistently accurate and up-to-date, providing a seamless experience for your visitors.Scalability: Easily Manage Multiple Stores and ProductsAs your affiliate marketing business grows, the ability to manage multiple stores and products becomes increasingly challenging. Automation empowers you to scale your operations effortlessly, enabling you to add new products, create additional stores, and expand your reach without being bogged down by time-consuming manual tasks.Introducing ShopBuildr AIIn the evolutionary terrain of affiliate marketing, a revolutionary tool has emerged, promising to transform the way you approach store creation and management. Introducing ShopBuildr AI, a game-changing solution that harnesses the power of automation to build profitable affiliate stores in minutes, without the need for extensive technical knowledge or tedious manual processes.Overview: What is ShopBuildr AI?ShopBuildr AI is a cutting-edge software that combines advanced automation capabilities with seamless integration, enabling you to create fully functional, content-rich affiliate stores in a matter of minutes. This powerful tool eliminates the traditional barriers to entry, empowering both novice and experienced affiliate marketers to unlock new levels of success and profitability.Key Features:Automated Store CreationWith ShopBuildr AI, the process of building an affiliate store is reduced to a few simple clicks. Say goodbye to the time-consuming tasks of manually setting up pages, configuring layouts, and integrating various components. ShopBuildr AI takes care of it all, allowing you to focus on what truly matters – promoting your products and driving sales.No Need for Amazon APIUnlike many other affiliate store builders, ShopBuildr AI does not rely on the Amazon API, eliminating the potential for API restrictions or limitations. This innovative approach ensures that your store remains fully functional and accessible, regardless of any changes or updates to Amazon's policies.Integrated with ChatGPT for Content GenerationOne of the standout features of ShopBuildr AI is its seamless integration with ChatGPT, the cutting-edge language model developed by OpenAI. With this integration, you can generate high-quality, engaging content for your store with just a few prompts. Say goodbye to the struggles of writing product descriptions, sales copy, and blog posts from scratch.Over 100 Done-For-You ProductsTo kickstart your affiliate marketing journey, ShopBuildr AI comes preloaded with over 100 high-converting products across various niches. This diverse selection allows you to hit the ground running, saving you valuable time and effort in researching and curating products for your store.Automatic Insertion of Product Images, Descriptions, and Affiliate LinksOnce you've selected the products you wish to feature, ShopBuildr AI takes care of the rest. It automatically inserts high-quality product images, compelling descriptions, and correctly formatted affiliate links, ensuring a professional and cohesive presentation throughout your store.Custom Ad Code and Opt-in Box IntegrationTo maximize your earning potential, ShopBuildr AI allows you to seamlessly integrate custom ad codes and opt-in boxes directly into your store. This feature enables you to monetize your traffic through various channels, such as display advertising or email list building, further enhancing your overall profitability.Step-by-Step Guide to Using ShopBuildr AIBuilding a profitable affiliate store with ShopBuildr AI is a straightforward process that anyone can follow, regardless of their technical expertise. Here's a step-by-step guide to getting started:Step 1: Install the SoftwareThe first step is to install the ShopBuildr AI software on your WordPress site. This process is designed to be user-friendly, with clear instructions and a simple installation wizard. Whether you're a WordPress pro or a complete beginner, you'll find the installation process to be a breeze.Step 2: Upload Your ProductsOnce the software is installed, it's time to choose the products you want to feature in your store. ShopBuildr AI comes preloaded with over 100 high-converting products, so you can get started right away. However, if you prefer to add your own products, the software makes it easy to upload and integrate them into your store.Step 3: Let ShopBuildr AI Take OverWith your products loaded, the real magic begins. Simply click the "Build Store" button, and ShopBuildr AI will take care of the rest. It will automatically create your store pages, insert product images and descriptions, add affiliate links, and integrate any custom ad codes or opt-in boxes you've specified.In a matter of minutes, you'll have a fully functional, content-rich affiliate store, ready to attract visitors and start generating commissions. Benefits of ShopBuildr AIWhile the features and ease of use of ShopBuildr AI are impressive, the real power of this tool lies in the benefits it offers to affiliate marketers of all levels, from complete beginners to seasoned professionals.Newbie Friendly: No Prior Experience NeededOne of the biggest advantages of ShopBuildr AI is its accessibility to newcomers in the world of affiliate marketing. With its automated processes and user-friendly interface, you don't need any prior experience or technical expertise to build a professional-looking affiliate store. This level playing field opens up new opportunities for anyone looking to tap into the lucrative world of affiliate marketing.Fast Setup: Create a Store in MinutesTime is money, and ShopBuildr AI understands this concept well. By automating the entire store creation process, you can have a fully functional affiliate store up and running in a matter of minutes. This unparalleled speed and efficiency allow you to focus your efforts on other critical aspects of your business, such as driving traffic and optimizing your marketing strategies.Increased Commissions: Promote Unlimited Products for Higher EarningsWith ShopBuildr AI, you're no longer limited by the number of products you can effectively promote. The software's ability to seamlessly integrate and manage an unlimited number of products means you can diversify your offerings and maximize your earning potential. By featuring a wide range of high-converting products, you increase your chances of attracting a broader audience and generating substantial commissions.Support and Updates: Continuous Improvements and Customer SupportThe team behind ShopBuildr AI is committed to providing ongoing support and regular updates to ensure that the software remains at the forefront of affiliate marketing innovation. With dedicated customer support and a roadmap of exciting new features and enhancements, you can rest assured that your investment in ShopBuildr AI will continue to pay dividends for years to come.Real-World ResultsWhile the features and benefits of ShopBuildr AI are compelling, nothing speaks louder than real-world results. Let's take a look at some case studies and testimonials from affiliate marketers who have experienced the power of this revolutionary tool firsthand.Case Studies: Examples of Successful Affiliate Stores Created with ShopBuildr AIStephanie's Wellness StoreStephanie, a busy mom and health enthusiast, had always dreamed of starting her own online store promoting natural wellness products. However, the thought of creating content, setting up a website, and managing affiliate links seemed daunting. That's when she discovered ShopBuildr AI.Within a few hours, Stephanie had a fully functional affiliate store featuring a wide range of high-quality wellness products. The automated content generation and seamless integration of affiliate links saved her countless hours of work. Today, Stephanie's store is thriving, and she's able to balance her passion for healthy living with her family responsibilities. Mike's Tech Gadget EmporiumMike, a tech-savvy entrepreneur, had been struggling to keep up with the ever-changing world of consumer electronics. His affiliate store was outdated, and the process of manually updating product information and affiliate links was becoming increasingly time-consuming.After implementing ShopBuildr AI, Mike's store underwent a complete transformation. The software's automated product updates and affiliate link management ensured that his store was always up-to-date with the latest offerings. Mike's commissions skyrocketed, and he was able to focus his energy on expanding his marketing efforts and driving even more traffic to his store. Testimonials: User Experiences and Feedback"ShopBuildr AI has been a game-changer for my affiliate marketing business. I went from struggling to keep up with content creation and product updates to having a fully automated, high-converting store in no time. The software is incredibly user-friendly, and the support team is always there to help. Highly recommended!" - Jessica K., Affiliate Marketer"As a complete beginner in affiliate marketing, I was intimidated by the thought of building an online store from scratch. ShopBuildr AI made the process so simple and straightforward. Within a few clicks, I had a professional-looking store filled with engaging content and high-quality products. I can't thank the team enough for making this possible." - David L., Newbie Affiliate Marketer "I've tried various affiliate store builders in the past, but none of them came close to the level of automation and efficiency offered by ShopBuildr AI. The seamless integration with ChatGPT for content generation is a real game-changer, and the ability to manage unlimited products has opened up new possibilities for my business." - Emily R., Experienced Affiliate Marketer ConclusionIn the evolving world of affiliate marketing, the key to success lies in embracing innovation and leveraging the power of automation. By harnessing the capabilities of ShopBuildr AI, you can revolutionize the way you approach store creation and management, unlocking new levels of efficiency, scalability, and profitability.No longer will you be bogged down by time-consuming content creation, technical barriers, or the challenges of product selection and affiliate link management. With ShopBuildr AI, you can build a fully functional, content-rich affiliate store in minutes, without the need for extensive technical expertise or tedious manual processes. Whether you're a newcomer to the world of affiliate marketing or a seasoned professional, ShopBuildr AI offers a solution that empowers you to achieve your goals with ease. Imagine the possibilities when you have a powerful, automated tool at your fingertips, capable of handling the heavy lifting while you focus on driving traffic, optimizing your marketing strategies, and maximizing your earning potential. Don't let the traditional struggles of affiliate store creation hold you back any longer. Embrace the future of automation and unlock the secret to building profitable affiliate stores effortlessly. With ShopBuildr AI, the path to success has never been more accessible. RecommendationIf you're serious about taking your affiliate marketing business to new heights, we highly recommend investing in ShopBuildr AI – the ultimate affiliate store builder. This cutting-edge software is currently available at an exclusive launch pricing, making it an absolute must-have for anyone looking to streamline their operations and maximize their earning potential.But that's not all. ShopBuildr AI also comes with a robust 30-day money-back guarantee, ensuring that you can try the software risk-free and experience its transformative power firsthand. Don't miss this opportunity to revolutionize your affiliate marketing journey and start building profitable affiliate stores with unparalleled ease and efficiency. Take action today and secure your copy of ShopBuildr AI. Your journey towards scalable success in the world of affiliate marketing starts now. Discover the Secret to Building Profitable Affiliate Stores in Minutes with Automation IntroductionIn the world of affiliate marketing, the ability to create profitable online stores can be a game-changer. However, the process of building these stores from scratch is often riddled with challenges, from time-consuming content creation to complex technical barriers. That's where the power of automation comes into play, revolutionizing the way affiliate marketers approach their businesses.Imagine being able to establish a fully functional, content-rich affiliate store in mere minutes, without the need for extensive technical knowledge or hours of tedious work. This is the promise of automation, a solution that streamlines the entire process, allowing you to focus on what truly matters – driving traffic and maximizing your earnings. In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore the struggles of traditional affiliate store creation, the benefits of automation, and introduce you to a groundbreaking tool that promises to change the game forever. Get ready to unlock the secret to building profitable affiliate stores with unparalleled efficiency and ease. The Struggles of Traditional Affiliate Store CreationContent Creation: Time-consuming and Requires ExpertiseCreating high-quality, engaging content for your affiliate store is a time-consuming and often daunting task. From researching and writing product descriptions to crafting compelling sales copy, this process demands a significant investment of time and expertise. Without a solid content strategy in place, your store may struggle to attract and retain visitors, ultimately impacting your potential for success.Technical Barriers: Need for Coding or Technical SkillsSetting up an online store can be a technical minefield for those without coding or web development experience. From configuring hosting and domain settings to integrating payment gateways and optimizing for search engines, the technical aspects of store creation can quickly become overwhelming. This barrier to entry often discourages newcomers and limits the potential for growth.Product Selection: Difficulty in Choosing the Right ProductsChoosing the right products to feature in your affiliate store is crucial for maximizing your earning potential. However, navigating the vast landscape of available products and determining which ones resonate with your target audience can be a daunting task. Without a strategic approach, you risk promoting products that fail to generate substantial sales and commissions.Traffic Generation: Challenges in Driving Visitors to the StoreEven with a well-designed affiliate store, attracting a steady flow of targeted traffic is a significant challenge. From search engine optimization (SEO) to paid advertising and social media marketing, implementing effective traffic generation strategies requires a deep understanding of various marketing channels and techniques. Without a consistent stream of visitors, your store's potential for success remains limited.Affiliate Link Management: Complicated and Prone to ErrorsManaging affiliate links can be a tedious and error-prone process, especially as your store grows and the number of products increases. Ensuring that each product is accurately linked to the correct affiliate program and tracking the performance of these links can quickly become overwhelming. A single mistake in link management can lead to lost commissions and hinder your overall profitability.The Power of Automation in Affiliate MarketingIn the face of these challenges, automation emerges as a powerful solution, offering a range of benefits that can revolutionize the way you approach affiliate marketing and build profitable online stores.Efficiency: Save Time and ResourcesBy automating repetitive tasks and streamlining processes, you can significantly reduce the time and resources required to create and maintain your affiliate store. From content generation to product integration and link management, automation takes care of the heavy lifting, allowing you to focus your efforts on more strategic aspects of your business.Consistency: Automated Processes Ensure Uniformity and ReliabilityAutomation ensures consistency across your store, eliminating the risk of human error and inconsistencies that can arise from manual processes. With automated systems in place, you can rest assured that your store's content, product descriptions, and affiliate links are consistently accurate and up-to-date, providing a seamless experience for your visitors.Scalability: Easily Manage Multiple Stores and ProductsAs your affiliate marketing business grows, the ability to manage multiple stores and products becomes increasingly challenging. Automation empowers you to scale your operations effortlessly, enabling you to add new products, create additional stores, and expand your reach without being bogged down by time-consuming manual tasks.Introducing ShopBuildr AIIn the evolutionary terrain of affiliate marketing, a revolutionary tool has emerged, promising to transform the way you approach store creation and management. Introducing ShopBuildr AI, a game-changing solution that harnesses the power of automation to build profitable affiliate stores in minutes, without the need for extensive technical knowledge or tedious manual processes.Overview: What is ShopBuildr AI?ShopBuildr AI is a cutting-edge software that combines advanced automation capabilities with seamless integration, enabling you to create fully functional, content-rich affiliate stores in a matter of minutes. This powerful tool eliminates the traditional barriers to entry, empowering both novice and experienced affiliate marketers to unlock new levels of success and profitability.Key Features:Automated Store CreationWith ShopBuildr AI, the process of building an affiliate store is reduced to a few simple clicks. Say goodbye to the time-consuming tasks of manually setting up pages, configuring layouts, and integrating various components. ShopBuildr AI takes care of it all, allowing you to focus on what truly matters – promoting your products and driving sales.No Need for Amazon APIUnlike many other affiliate store builders, ShopBuildr AI does not rely on the Amazon API, eliminating the potential for API restrictions or limitations. This innovative approach ensures that your store remains fully functional and accessible, regardless of any changes or updates to Amazon's policies.Integrated with ChatGPT for Content GenerationOne of the standout features of ShopBuildr AI is its seamless integration with ChatGPT, the cutting-edge language model developed by OpenAI. With this integration, you can generate high-quality, engaging content for your store with just a few prompts. Say goodbye to the struggles of writing product descriptions, sales copy, and blog posts from scratch.Over 100 Done-For-You ProductsTo kickstart your affiliate marketing journey, ShopBuildr AI comes preloaded with over 100 high-converting products across various niches. This diverse selection allows you to hit the ground running, saving you valuable time and effort in researching and curating products for your store.Automatic Insertion of Product Images, Descriptions, and Affiliate LinksOnce you've selected the products you wish to feature, ShopBuildr AI takes care of the rest. It automatically inserts high-quality product images, compelling descriptions, and correctly formatted affiliate links, ensuring a professional and cohesive presentation throughout your store.Custom Ad Code and Opt-in Box IntegrationTo maximize your earning potential, ShopBuildr AI allows you to seamlessly integrate custom ad codes and opt-in boxes directly into your store. This feature enables you to monetize your traffic through various channels, such as display advertising or email list building, further enhancing your overall profitability.Step-by-Step Guide to Using ShopBuildr AIBuilding a profitable affiliate store with ShopBuildr AI is a straightforward process that anyone can follow, regardless of their technical expertise. Here's a step-by-step guide to getting started:Step 1: Install the SoftwareThe first step is to install the ShopBuildr AI software on your WordPress site. This process is designed to be user-friendly, with clear instructions and a simple installation wizard. Whether you're a WordPress pro or a complete beginner, you'll find the installation process to be a breeze.Step 2: Upload Your ProductsOnce the software is installed, it's time to choose the products you want to feature in your store. ShopBuildr AI comes preloaded with over 100 high-converting products, so you can get started right away. However, if you prefer to add your own products, the software makes it easy to upload and integrate them into your store.Step 3: Let ShopBuildr AI Take OverWith your products loaded, the real magic begins. Simply click the "Build Store" button, and ShopBuildr AI will take care of the rest. It will automatically create your store pages, insert product images and descriptions, add affiliate links, and integrate any custom ad codes or opt-in boxes you've specified.In a matter of minutes, you'll have a fully functional, content-rich affiliate store, ready to attract visitors and start generating commissions. Benefits of ShopBuildr AIWhile the features and ease of use of ShopBuildr AI are impressive, the real power of this tool lies in the benefits it offers to affiliate marketers of all levels, from complete beginners to seasoned professionals.Newbie Friendly: No Prior Experience NeededOne of the biggest advantages of ShopBuildr AI is its accessibility to newcomers in the world of affiliate marketing. With its automated processes and user-friendly interface, you don't need any prior experience or technical expertise to build a professional-looking affiliate store. This level playing field opens up new opportunities for anyone looking to tap into the lucrative world of affiliate marketing.Fast Setup: Create a Store in MinutesTime is money, and ShopBuildr AI understands this concept well. By automating the entire store creation process, you can have a fully functional affiliate store up and running in a matter of minutes. This unparalleled speed and efficiency allow you to focus your efforts on other critical aspects of your business, such as driving traffic and optimizing your marketing strategies.Increased Commissions: Promote Unlimited Products for Higher EarningsWith ShopBuildr AI, you're no longer limited by the number of products you can effectively promote. The software's ability to seamlessly integrate and manage an unlimited number of products means you can diversify your offerings and maximize your earning potential. By featuring a wide range of high-converting products, you increase your chances of attracting a broader audience and generating substantial commissions.Support and Updates: Continuous Improvements and Customer SupportThe team behind ShopBuildr AI is committed to providing ongoing support and regular updates to ensure that the software remains at the forefront of affiliate marketing innovation. With dedicated customer support and a roadmap of exciting new features and enhancements, you can rest assured that your investment in ShopBuildr AI will continue to pay dividends for years to come.Real-World ResultsWhile the features and benefits of ShopBuildr AI are compelling, nothing speaks louder than real-world results. Let's take a look at some case studies and testimonials from affiliate marketers who have experienced the power of this revolutionary tool firsthand.Case Studies: Examples of Successful Affiliate Stores Created with ShopBuildr AIStephanie's Wellness StoreStephanie, a busy mom and health enthusiast, had always dreamed of starting her own online store promoting natural wellness products. However, the thought of creating content, setting up a website, and managing affiliate links seemed daunting. That's when she discovered ShopBuildr AI.Within a few hours, Stephanie had a fully functional affiliate store featuring a wide range of high-quality wellness products. The automated content generation and seamless integration of affiliate links saved her countless hours of work. Today, Stephanie's store is thriving, and she's able to balance her passion for healthy living with her family responsibilities. Mike's Tech Gadget EmporiumMike, a tech-savvy entrepreneur, had been struggling to keep up with the ever-changing world of consumer electronics. His affiliate store was outdated, and the process of manually updating product information and affiliate links was becoming increasingly time-consuming.After implementing ShopBuildr AI, Mike's store underwent a complete transformation. The software's automated product updates and affiliate link management ensured that his store was always up-to-date with the latest offerings. Mike's commissions skyrocketed, and he was able to focus his energy on expanding his marketing efforts and driving even more traffic to his store. Testimonials: User Experiences and Feedback"ShopBuildr AI has been a game-changer for my affiliate marketing business. I went from struggling to keep up with content creation and product updates to having a fully automated, high-converting store in no time. The software is incredibly user-friendly, and the support team is always there to help. Highly recommended!" - Jessica K., Affiliate Marketer"As a complete beginner in affiliate marketing, I was intimidated by the thought of building an online store from scratch. ShopBuildr AI made the process so simple and straightforward. Within a few clicks, I had a professional-looking store filled with engaging content and high-quality products. I can't thank the team enough for making this possible." - David L., Newbie Affiliate Marketer "I've tried various affiliate store builders in the past, but none of them came close to the level of automation and efficiency offered by ShopBuildr AI. The seamless integration with ChatGPT for content generation is a real game-changer, and the ability to manage unlimited products has opened up new possibilities for my business." - Emily R., Experienced Affiliate Marketer ConclusionIn the evolving world of affiliate marketing, the key to success lies in embracing innovation and leveraging the power of automation. By harnessing the capabilities of ShopBuildr AI, you can revolutionize the way you approach store creation and management, unlocking new levels of efficiency, scalability, and profitability.No longer will you be bogged down by time-consuming content creation, technical barriers, or the challenges of product selection and affiliate link management. With ShopBuildr AI, you can build a fully functional, content-rich affiliate store in minutes, without the need for extensive technical expertise or tedious manual processes. Whether you're a newcomer to the world of affiliate marketing or a seasoned professional, ShopBuildr AI offers a solution that empowers you to achieve your goals with ease. Imagine the possibilities when you have a powerful, automated tool at your fingertips, capable of handling the heavy lifting while you focus on driving traffic, optimizing your marketing strategies, and maximizing your earning potential. Don't let the traditional struggles of affiliate store creation hold you back any longer. Embrace the future of automation and unlock the secret to building profitable affiliate stores effortlessly. With ShopBuildr AI, the path to success has never been more accessible. RecommendationIf you're serious about taking your affiliate marketing business to new heights, we highly recommend investing in ShopBuildr AI – the ultimate affiliate store builder. This cutting-edge software is currently available at an exclusive launch pricing, making it an absolute must-have for anyone looking to streamline their operations and maximize their earning potential.But that's not all. ShopBuildr AI also comes with a robust 30-day money-back guarantee, ensuring that you can try the software risk-free and experience its transformative power firsthand. Don't miss this opportunity to revolutionize your affiliate marketing journey and start building profitable affiliate stores with unparalleled ease and efficiency. Take action today and secure your copy of ShopBuildr AI. Your journey towards scalable success in the world of affiliate marketing starts now. |
2024.05.17 01:42 SuperbCartographer98 The Gift of Tomorrow
James Reynolds was a planner. At 35, he had a successful career in engineering, a loving wife named Claire, and two energetic children, Lily and Max. His life was filled with joy and purpose, but James had always been acutely aware of life's uncertainties. One day, while sorting through their monthly bills, Claire mentioned a friend's sudden passing and the financial hardship it left on the family. This conversation planted a seed in James's mind.
That evening, James researched life insurance policies. He wanted to ensure that, no matter what happened, Claire and the kids would be protected. After consulting with a financial advisor, James decided on a term life insurance policy with a significant coverage amount that would cover the mortgage, the children's education, and provide a cushion for Claire.
Several months later, the Reynolds family was enjoying their annual summer vacation at a lakeside cabin. It was a time for relaxation and making memories. However, on the third day, tragedy struck. While on a hike, James suffered a sudden heart attack. Despite immediate medical attention, he passed away, leaving Claire and the children devastated.
In the midst of her grief, Claire faced the daunting reality of their financial future without James. She remembered the life insurance policy James had insisted on. With the help of their financial advisor, she filed a claim with the insurance company. Within weeks, the policy payout was processed.
The life insurance benefit provided a lifeline for Claire. It allowed her to pay off their mortgage, ensuring that they could stay in the home where they had built so many memories. The funds also covered the children’s education expenses, giving Lily and Max the opportunity to pursue their dreams without financial strain.
Additionally, Claire was able to take some time off work to be with her children as they navigated their grief. This period was crucial for their emotional healing and helped strengthen their bond as a family. The financial stability afforded by the life insurance policy meant Claire could focus on rebuilding their lives rather than worrying about immediate financial pressures.
Years passed, and the Reynolds family found a new rhythm. Lily pursued a degree in environmental science, inspired by her father's love for nature, while Max followed his passion for technology, aiming to become an engineer like his dad. Claire eventually returned to work, feeling secure in the knowledge that James had taken steps to protect their future.
One sunny afternoon, as Claire sat on the porch watching her children play, she felt a profound sense of gratitude. James's foresight and the life insurance policy had not only provided financial security but had also given them the precious gift of time and stability during their darkest hours.
In the end, the life insurance wasn't just a policy; it was a testament to James's love and care for his family. It ensured that, despite his absence, his presence and support continued to shape their lives in meaningful ways.
submitted by SuperbCartographer98 to LifeInsurance [link] [comments]
That evening, James researched life insurance policies. He wanted to ensure that, no matter what happened, Claire and the kids would be protected. After consulting with a financial advisor, James decided on a term life insurance policy with a significant coverage amount that would cover the mortgage, the children's education, and provide a cushion for Claire.
Several months later, the Reynolds family was enjoying their annual summer vacation at a lakeside cabin. It was a time for relaxation and making memories. However, on the third day, tragedy struck. While on a hike, James suffered a sudden heart attack. Despite immediate medical attention, he passed away, leaving Claire and the children devastated.
In the midst of her grief, Claire faced the daunting reality of their financial future without James. She remembered the life insurance policy James had insisted on. With the help of their financial advisor, she filed a claim with the insurance company. Within weeks, the policy payout was processed.
The life insurance benefit provided a lifeline for Claire. It allowed her to pay off their mortgage, ensuring that they could stay in the home where they had built so many memories. The funds also covered the children’s education expenses, giving Lily and Max the opportunity to pursue their dreams without financial strain.
Additionally, Claire was able to take some time off work to be with her children as they navigated their grief. This period was crucial for their emotional healing and helped strengthen their bond as a family. The financial stability afforded by the life insurance policy meant Claire could focus on rebuilding their lives rather than worrying about immediate financial pressures.
Years passed, and the Reynolds family found a new rhythm. Lily pursued a degree in environmental science, inspired by her father's love for nature, while Max followed his passion for technology, aiming to become an engineer like his dad. Claire eventually returned to work, feeling secure in the knowledge that James had taken steps to protect their future.
One sunny afternoon, as Claire sat on the porch watching her children play, she felt a profound sense of gratitude. James's foresight and the life insurance policy had not only provided financial security but had also given them the precious gift of time and stability during their darkest hours.
In the end, the life insurance wasn't just a policy; it was a testament to James's love and care for his family. It ensured that, despite his absence, his presence and support continued to shape their lives in meaningful ways.
2024.05.17 01:41 Unable-Royal888 Is it normal to lucid dream everyday?
I feel it’s not normal what’s happening to me. I lucid dream every day. It’s got to the point I’m able to control the dreams. I know when I’m dreaming. I can wake myself up on demand. I can even hear myself snore or breathing in my own dreams sometimes. I’m always so exhausted even if I slept 8 hours or more. I feel like I’m going crazy. Is this normal?
submitted by Unable-Royal888 to LucidDreaming [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 01:40 ALaramie1 I’ll trade 3 of these 4stars for either of these 5stars
 | submitted by ALaramie1 to MonopolyGoTrading [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 01:40 Negative-Trick-4166 4 ⭐️LF Tantalizing or One day (Set 19)
 | submitted by Negative-Trick-4166 to MonopolyGoTrading [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 01:40 Difficult_Number1684 PLENTY 1-3 star trades
 | These are some of my extras, if you need me to show a different set and see what we can bargain please just ask. Willing to trade a few for a higher card if possible if not I have a few 3 stars left I believe. Please make sure you have trades left before asking. Thanks! I hope we can all help each other 😁 submitted by Difficult_Number1684 to Monopoly_GO [link] [comments] https://mply.io/DOw44g https://mply.io/DOw44g |
2024.05.17 01:40 Disastrous_Mud_1474 top of my list for “weird shit you find at walmart”
 | 1 |
2024.05.17 01:34 Rough_Bus7262 4 star trades including prestige- 1 trade left.
 | submitted by Rough_Bus7262 to MonopolyGoTrading [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 01:33 Plateau9 The text results from the recent sub poll - Part 1
What other series do you see at the same level as 30 Rock?
Community distant second, Parks and Rec enjoyable but much looser
Modern Family in terms of consistency and Arrested Development 1-3 in terms of hidden/missed jokes
P&R, Justified, Archer
None
None. It’s in a class of its own
Mad Men and Lost. Neither are comedies but these are my top 3 shows. So interesting to me that the 30 Rock writers also referenced both shows throughout. Also so interesting my top 3 shows were on the air at the same time.
Arrested Development, Community
Community, The Simpsons
The office, arrested development 1-3, Nathan for you.
occupies the same space as the office, parks and rec, maybe community (didn’t watch much of that one), tangentially related to iasip and grandmas house
none. but some of my favorites are parks and recreation, letterkenny, shoresy, girls 5eva, parks and recreation, and ted lasso
Kimmy Schmidt
Parks and Rec
Sometimes Community?
Milf Island
Breaking bad.
Arrested Dev, Sunny, Seinfeld
Parks and Rec, The Office
American Dad, Seinfeld, Community
Friends
Kimmy Schmidt
Mad Men but for drama
No other comedies
It’s Always Sunny
Reno 911, Parks and Rec
Frajer
Arrested Development, Hacks, Girls5Eva
I like other Tina Fey shows
Arrested Development, IASIP, VEEP, Derry Girls, golden girls, Parks n Rec, Community, Broad City, Schitts Creek, Abbot Elementary, the good place, WandaVision, Fleabag, The Mary Tyler Moore show
Community, Its Always Sunny, Soap, The Simpsons, Comedy Bang Bang, and Derry Girls
Kimmy Schmidt
Community, parks and rec, the office
Arrested Development, Broad City, Archer
none
Literally none, still searching
Arrested Development, Broad City, Veep, Bob’s Burgers
Parks & Rec
Parks and Rec
None.
maybe Parks and Rec
Community
None. Maybe Arrested Development.
Arrested Development
Great News
Arrested Development
Community
Parks and rec is the closest, and Brooklyn 99
unbreakable kimmy schmidt
Comedy wise? Arrested Development I guess (s1-3 only). Importance in my life? As much as Mary Tyler Moore and ER. It's definitely my most rewatched show ever.
Arrested Development, by sheer jokes per minute
Arrest Development
Arrested Development
Derry Girls, Freaks & Geeks, Schitt’s Creek, Firefly
Seinfeld, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frasier
Blue Mountain State, Psych, The League, Girls5Eva, Band Of Brothers
Girls5Eva, Great News
Parks and Rec (kinda)
N/A
The office
Arrested Development
The Larry Sanders Show
West Wing
Bob’s Burgers
Broad City
None
None, Parks and Rec is close
Hmm, Mrs. Davis rocked my whole shit up?
Veep, Silicon Valley
WWDITS
Kimmy Schmidt, Frasier, Will & Grace, Futurama, Bob’s Burgers (I know they’re cartoons, but the writing is superb!)
Parks and Rec
Arrested Development
Frasier
Parks and Rec, The Office, Community. That whole era of NBC. Kennith can fill you in on the history of NBC and television as a whole.
Malcolm in the middle
Girls5eva, parks & rec
Seinfeld/cheers
Rick and Morty
Peep Show, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dance Moms (really!)
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt, Arrested Development, end of list.
Seinfeld, friends, futurama, mad men
Seinfeld, The Sopranos
Parks and Rec
The office, parks & rec
Arrested Development, Veep
Supercomputer
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Parks and Recreation
None
None, 30 Rock Reaganed through all 7 seasons. I guess I also like Arrested Development, but not in a queer way.
Arrested Development
What We Do In The Shadows is the only thing that’s come close. I love other comedies like the office, parks&rec, brooklyn99, superstore, etc- but they just aren’t 30 Rock level of comedic genius!
Community, Cheers
Community, Bojack Horseman, Parks & Rec, Schitt's Creek, The Good Place
I Think You Should Leave
Community
Community, Arrested Development (season1-3)
Parks and rec
Friends, The Wire
in terms of comedy, there are a few episodes of new girl that come close. other than that, the only shows that really compare are girls5eva, great news, and kimmy schmidt, obviously.
TGS
Parks n Rec, The Office. Not Brooklyn 99, so stop telling me to watch that.
HBO’s John Adams
It’s always sunny in Philadelphia comes the closest but nothing is same level
Mad men
Arrested development, its always sunny in Philadelphia, community
The Office
Office?
The Nanny, Mom, Rockford Files
Veep
Community
It’s always sunny, Peep Show
The Office, Reno 911, Parks & Rec
Community, Parks and Rec, The Office
None. Maybe The Office in 2nd
Parks & Rec
Veep
3rd Rock from the Sun
Parks and rec
Seinfeld
Not the same genre but Simpsons to season 8
Fleabag
Parks and rec
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the Office (US)
SNL and The Simpsons
Literally none
Shitt's Creek
I don’t really have anything else I’m willing to watch over and over like 30 Rock..
Frasier
Archer, Seinfeld, Silicone Valley, Community, Brooklyn 99, How I met your Mother.
Arrested Development, it's always sunny in Philadelphia
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Arrested development, succession
Parks and Recreation, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development
House, Scubs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, MASH, McGyver, Magnum PI, Simon & Simon, 3rd Rock From The Sun
None
There isn't one
None
The Good Place, Superstore, The Office, Parks and Rec
Lost
Arrested development, always sunny in Philadelphia.
Arrested Development, It’s Always Sunny
Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Curse, It's Always Sunny
It’s always sunny in Philadelphia
Arrested development
I’m not going to list my top 10 when I already said it’s top 10 all time
Parks and Rec
Arrested Development
None!
Better Off Ted
Peep Show
Seinfeld
Community, Arrested Development.
Arrested Development
Parks and rec, arrested development
Queen of Jordan, MILF Island, Goldcase
The Office, Veep, Arrested Development, Parks and Rec, Malcolm in the Middle.
Arrested
Hacks, Frasier
Still Game
Community, Always Sunny, Futurams
Arrested Development seasons 1-3.
Schitts creek
Parks. Twin Peaks. SHADOWS. early Letterkenny, the Sate, kith
Parks and Rec, Community, God Cop
Arrested Development
Seinfeld
None
None
Parks and Rec
Arrested Development, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation, Veep, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Archer, South Park
The office, friends, scrubs
Arrested Development
Parks and rec, the office
Simpsons
Kimmy Schmidt
Community
None
Seinfeld, Arrested Development*, Frasier
Milf Island
Queen of Jordan
Arrested development
Frajer, MASH, Seinfeld
Office
Parks and Rec, the good place
Community, The Office, Parks and Rec, Arrested Development
The Good Place; Ted Lasso; Girls5Eva
The Simpsons, the first 3 seasons of MASH, Sopranos, Arrested Development, Frasier
Unreal le Kimmy Schmidt, SNL
Parks and Rec
None
Community, curb your enthusiasm
I see Parks and Recreation as it’s ’emotionally in-touch twin’
Community
Bitch Hunter
Park and Rec, Scrubs, curb your enthusiasm, I’m sure there are others.
BoJack Horseman, Crazy Ex-girlfriend, Superstore
Few
Community, Always Sunny in Philadelphia
The West Wing, The Sopranos,
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Parks and Rec
Frasier, Shorsey
Community
Community Kimmy Schmidt Seinfeld old Simpsons
Parks n Rec, Office maybe
Jay Leno lol
Veep
Seinfeld
Party Down, Seinfeld, Parks And Recreation, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Brooklyn 99
Futurama, parks and rec, kimmy schmidt
They’re not the same humogenre at all, but I also love Who’s the Boss?, The Office, Arrested Development, Hacks, Law & Order: SVU, and Mad Men
Fleabag
The Office, Parks and Rec, Community, Good Place, Brooklyn 99, Always Funny
Breaking Bad, Sopranos, the Office
None.
Community
Veep
Gilmore Girls, another well written comedy
The Office, Parks and Rec, Peep Show (UK)
Nothing, closest are parks and rec, community, and arrested development.
Arrested Development
Parks and Rec
Absolutely fabulous
Parks and Rec! Maybe The Good Place
Nothing! Maybe Parks and Rec
The Office, Parks and Rec, and Community. Bonus points for when they all aired on the same night.
Arrested Dev
Queen of Jordan
Arrested Development
What We Do In The Shadows
Veep
Modern family
There really isn’t one.
John from Cincinati
Girls 5 Eva
Seinfeld
Girls5Eva, Kimmy Schmidt,
Veep
honesty idk it’s a quite good time tho
Community
The comedies I think are on par with 30 Rock, in terms of hilariousness and overall quality, are: Arrested Development (initial run), Future Man (first season), and What We Do in the Shadows.
If you're also wondering what shows are on my shortlist of all time greats with 30 Rock, regardless of genre: Chernobyl, early Game of Thrones, The Americans, and True Detective (first season).
The number one greatest show of all time, though, without any contest, is The Leftovers. The whole show is a masterpiece, but the second season in particular is one of the greatest works of art I've seen.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt if it had been longer
Yes
Community, psych
Veep, what we do in the shadows, Frasier, always sunny
Arrested development
Parks and Rec, Brooklyn 99, Bobs Burgers
None. B99 and P&R are fun but unmatched
B99
Parks and rec
Parks & Recreation, Veep
Always Sunny, Arrested Development, The Office
Scrubs, AD (1-3)
None
It’s Always Sunny
What we do in the shadows, parks and rec
Happy Endings
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Parks and Recreation, King of the Hill
The office, pnr, good place
Letterkenny
Fleabag
Arrested Development, The Office, Community, The Good Place
Arrested development
arrested development, bojack horseman, broad city
Yes
Your mom.
The office, arrested development
Other series?
The Good Place
Arrested Development, Veep
Breaking Bad
Mad Men.
Community and Scrubs
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Community
Seinfeld
Brooklyn 99
Good place
No
mad men, futurama, archer
Arrested Development, Community
South park
Any Michael Shur show, Schitt’s Creek, New Girl
Ted Lasso
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, The Muppet Show
South park
Community, Seinfeld, Arrested Development, New Girl, Paris and Rec
None
Community, arrested development
Frasier, The Good Place, It's Always Sunny
always sunny
X Files, Family Guy, Barry, Venture Bros., Lost, Game of Thrones
Arrested Development
Arrested development
Arrested Development
Literally none
Schitts Creek
Literally other Tina Fey programs and that’s like it lmao
Arrested development
Scrubs, HIMYM
Mad Men
Community
Himym
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Modern Family, The Office, Parks and Rec, Schitt's Creek, Arrested Development
Community
Hacks
Community, Arrested Development (1-3)
Parks and Rec
Arrested development
Community
Curb
No match
American Dad (in terms of how much I quote it)
Veep
Drama: the Americans, the sopranos
Comedy: the good place
Parks and Rec
Veep, arrested development, curb, Seinfeld
Nn
Veep
Kimmy Schmidt maybe
Community
Arrested development, psych, unbreakable,
Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Always Sunny
The simpsons
Arrested Development, Always sunny, community
Parks and Rec, The Office, Community, Last Man on Earth, Kimmy Schmidt
None except The Good Place
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Community
Arrested Development (first two seasons only)
Strangers with Candy, scrubs
Early Simpsons
MASH
Community, maybe the first 3 Arrested Development
Arrested Development
Parks & Rec,
The Office maybe?
Simpsons
Broad City
Happy Endings
Brooklyn 99
Brooklyn 99
Schitts Creek
None
American Dad, IASIP
Arrested Development original seasons
Arrested Development, Community
Community
None
Hacks
Parks and Rec
New Girl, The Office
Frasier
Arrested development
Community
Community, Arrested Development
How I met your mother
Parks and Rec, Crazy Ex Girlfriend
Parks and Rec
Park & Rec,
Red dwarf
Parks and Rec
seinfeld
Breaking Bad
Parks and rec/ what we do in the shadows
I’m also a sex and the city super fan
Community
Veep
30 rock sits alone atop the pyramid for me. But Veep and arrested development get close with script quality and cast dynamic
Arrested development, Veep
Parks and Rec, Arrested Development
Community
Always Sunny
Cheers, 3rd Rock from the Sun
Good Place, Parks and Rec
Archer, arrested development
The Office, The Mighty Boosh
Community, end of list
DeFwan
Futurama, Community
Idk older sitcoms are debatably as cleverly written (i.e. Cheers), but they don’t have that chaotic fever dream quality that 30 has that I love so much
Arrested development
It’s always sunny
Parks and rec, Brooklyn 99
Frasier, Modern Family
Community, parks and rec
The Simpsons
Arrested Development
N/A
The Office, The Good Place
Community, the Office
Schitt’s creek
Arrestes Development or Fleabag.
None
Parks and rec
Scrubs, New Girl, Brooklyn 99
Community
Always sunny, arrested development, broad city, what we do in the shadows
None
Community, Parks and rec
American Vandal
none
Seinfeld, It’s always sunny in Philadelphia
Office
The Office
Bitch Hunter
Arrested Development Seasons 1 - 3, Archer first three seasons, Bobs Burgers
arrested development
Arrested development
No comedy comes close.
Veep
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Community
B99, severance, true det s1
Community
Parks and rec, Brooklyn 99
Comedy: The Office (seasons 1-7), The Simpsons (seasons 2-9)
Other: The Wire, The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Mad Men
Arrested Development
The Office, Parks and Recreation. If only because they were the holy trinity of ABC shows back in the day. I think Brooklyn Nine Nine comes close in a less cynical way, and I think Better Off Ted is equally as funny as 30 Rock, but keeps things a little more grounded in reality. The British version of The Inbetweeners is equally funny to me at times, too.
Seinfeld
The Larry Sanders Show
Broad City; High Maintenance
the offiec
30 Rock
None.
New Girl, the office, arrested development
Community, Seinfeld, Golden Girls
Arrested Development
Always sunny
Community
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the Office, Kimmy Schmidt, I Think You Should Leave
The Good Place
Veep
IASIP, bobs burgers, b99,
Curb
Community
Frasier.
Not as good as Seinfeld but definitely up there with if not above Community
Strangers with candy
Parks and Rec
The Sopranos
can’t think of one comedy/sitcom that’s as well written. nothing compares
The Middle, The Good Place
Ted lasso, parks and rec
The sumpsons
Sunny, Parks and Rec, Curb
None
Broad City
Frasier
The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Cheers, Seinfeld, The Simpson, Arrested Development
don't know, community?
The Good Place
Parks and recreation
Curb your enthusiasm, veep, arrested development
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and BitchHunter.
None. The closest is Veep.
Golden Girls
Golden Girls, P and R, Fraijer, 3rd Rock from the Sun,
Arrested development
*
Honestly I think it's probably the best sitcom ever made. Certainly one of the most accurate ones. I enjoy Parks and Rec for a lot of the same reasons but I've rewatched 30 Rock more times than I can count and I consider it peak TV. Absolutely required viewing for anyone who wants to work in entertainment.
Schitt's Creek
Arrested development, community, parks and rec, the office, archer
Community
Always Sunny
First 3 seasons of AD
The Golden Girls, Fleabag, Frasier, Arrested Development
Arrested Development, Girls5Eva
The Girlie Show
Community, better off ted, parks and rec
Arrested Development
First 3 series of Arrested Development
Community
Community
Seinfeld, frajer
None - it's in a league of its own
None
The Sopranos
Seinfeld, American dad
King of the Hill
Veep, Arrested Development, Superstore, Great News
Girls 5eva. community.
IASIP
None
Arrested Development (first 3 seasons)
Arrested Development
Mad Men, Silo, Bitch Hunter
psych/scrubs/b99
Community seasons 1-3
Cunk on Earth
Arrested Development, Veep, Kath & Kim (USA), and all the Tina Fey shows
Arrested development
Comedy-wise
Seinfeld
Curb
Veep
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Community
Veep, Bojack Horseman, The Good Place, Crazy Ex-girlfriend, Arrested Development (seasons 1-3), Parks & Rec
How I Met Your Mother; Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood; Mr. Robot; Parks and Recreation
Community. Other Tina Fey produced shows have the same spirit (Kimmy, Girls5Eva, etc.) and they fill the void, but can’t quite rise to the exact same level of adventure that Fievel Goes West gave us.
None, maybe Seinfeld
Community, P&R, The Office, Veep
Superstore
The Good Place
Arrested Development
Extraordinary, Derry Girls
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
The wire
Scrubs, the west wing
None
Milf island
Parks and Rec, Better Call Saul
Snl
The IT Crowd, True Blood
My Name is Earl
Parks and rec, will and grace, psych, monk
office
For enjoyment and comfort food rewatchability? The Office, Parks and Rec, Malcom in the Middle, The Middle, Golden Girls, etc. For absolute top notch poignant jokes? None. I haven’t found a show that matches the same level of snarky, smart, zany, and topical jokes. There’s tons of real easy political dig jokes on tv now, but 30 rock was truly something else and something very special, it wasn’t ever heavy handed without letting you know they knew they were being heavy handed and that was part of the joke.
The Office (US), Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Arrested Development (og run), Portlandia, Curb
Nothing
always sunny, kimmy schmidt
Community, Parks and Recreation
Arrested Development
Seinfeld, Arrested Development
Parks & Rec
Veep
The Simpsons, Parks and Rec, Always Sunny
None
Kimmy Schmidt
Milf Island
First few seasons of the Simpsons
Arresed Development, The Good Place, You're the Worst, Hacks
Community, IASIP
Better off Ted
Parks and Rec, The Office, Seinfeld, what we do in the shadows, Brooklyn 99, workaholics, it's always sunny in Philadelphia
Parks and Rec, The Office (early seasons)
Arrested development
Arrested Development, I Love Lucy
Parks and Rec
Curb
TGS with Tracky Jonjon
Parks and Rec, Archer(S1-5), Seinfeld, Abbott Elementary (give them time),
Curb your enthusiasm
Seinfeld maybe?
Ken Burns Civil War
Breaking Bad
Will & Grace
Portlandia
Parks and Rec, Community, B99
Arrested Development, Brooklyn 99
Broad City, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidy
Seinfeld, Beverly Hillbillies, Veep, CHiPs
Girls5eva, Broad City, Arr Development
30 Rock is unparalleled.
Mr Robot - different type of program but also weird and has its own unique world
I don’t love ranking things, bur i enjoy Brooklyn 99, Girls 5Eva and The Other Two quite a bit
Venture Bros, Psych, Seinfeld, Brooklyn 99, Parks and Rec
Veep, Always Sunny, What We Do in the Shadows, Arrested Development
bojack?
Veep
Arrested Development
Arrested Development
Office
Arrested Development
Parks and Rec.
Brooklyn 99
arrested development
The Good Place, Psych, Scrubs, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
submitted by Plateau9 to 30ROCK [link] [comments]
Community distant second, Parks and Rec enjoyable but much looser
Modern Family in terms of consistency and Arrested Development 1-3 in terms of hidden/missed jokes
P&R, Justified, Archer
None
None. It’s in a class of its own
Mad Men and Lost. Neither are comedies but these are my top 3 shows. So interesting to me that the 30 Rock writers also referenced both shows throughout. Also so interesting my top 3 shows were on the air at the same time.
Arrested Development, Community
Community, The Simpsons
The office, arrested development 1-3, Nathan for you.
occupies the same space as the office, parks and rec, maybe community (didn’t watch much of that one), tangentially related to iasip and grandmas house
none. but some of my favorites are parks and recreation, letterkenny, shoresy, girls 5eva, parks and recreation, and ted lasso
Kimmy Schmidt
Parks and Rec
Sometimes Community?
Milf Island
Breaking bad.
Arrested Dev, Sunny, Seinfeld
Parks and Rec, The Office
American Dad, Seinfeld, Community
Friends
Kimmy Schmidt
Mad Men but for drama
No other comedies
It’s Always Sunny
Reno 911, Parks and Rec
Frajer
Arrested Development, Hacks, Girls5Eva
I like other Tina Fey shows
Arrested Development, IASIP, VEEP, Derry Girls, golden girls, Parks n Rec, Community, Broad City, Schitts Creek, Abbot Elementary, the good place, WandaVision, Fleabag, The Mary Tyler Moore show
Community, Its Always Sunny, Soap, The Simpsons, Comedy Bang Bang, and Derry Girls
Kimmy Schmidt
Community, parks and rec, the office
Arrested Development, Broad City, Archer
none
Literally none, still searching
Arrested Development, Broad City, Veep, Bob’s Burgers
Parks & Rec
Parks and Rec
None.
maybe Parks and Rec
Community
None. Maybe Arrested Development.
Arrested Development
Great News
Arrested Development
Community
Parks and rec is the closest, and Brooklyn 99
unbreakable kimmy schmidt
Comedy wise? Arrested Development I guess (s1-3 only). Importance in my life? As much as Mary Tyler Moore and ER. It's definitely my most rewatched show ever.
Arrested Development, by sheer jokes per minute
Arrest Development
Arrested Development
Derry Girls, Freaks & Geeks, Schitt’s Creek, Firefly
Seinfeld, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frasier
Blue Mountain State, Psych, The League, Girls5Eva, Band Of Brothers
Girls5Eva, Great News
Parks and Rec (kinda)
N/A
The office
Arrested Development
The Larry Sanders Show
West Wing
Bob’s Burgers
Broad City
None
None, Parks and Rec is close
Hmm, Mrs. Davis rocked my whole shit up?
Veep, Silicon Valley
WWDITS
Kimmy Schmidt, Frasier, Will & Grace, Futurama, Bob’s Burgers (I know they’re cartoons, but the writing is superb!)
Parks and Rec
Arrested Development
Frasier
Parks and Rec, The Office, Community. That whole era of NBC. Kennith can fill you in on the history of NBC and television as a whole.
Malcolm in the middle
Girls5eva, parks & rec
Seinfeld/cheers
Rick and Morty
Peep Show, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dance Moms (really!)
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt, Arrested Development, end of list.
Seinfeld, friends, futurama, mad men
Seinfeld, The Sopranos
Parks and Rec
The office, parks & rec
Arrested Development, Veep
Supercomputer
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Parks and Recreation
None
None, 30 Rock Reaganed through all 7 seasons. I guess I also like Arrested Development, but not in a queer way.
Arrested Development
What We Do In The Shadows is the only thing that’s come close. I love other comedies like the office, parks&rec, brooklyn99, superstore, etc- but they just aren’t 30 Rock level of comedic genius!
Community, Cheers
Community, Bojack Horseman, Parks & Rec, Schitt's Creek, The Good Place
I Think You Should Leave
Community
Community, Arrested Development (season1-3)
Parks and rec
Friends, The Wire
in terms of comedy, there are a few episodes of new girl that come close. other than that, the only shows that really compare are girls5eva, great news, and kimmy schmidt, obviously.
TGS
Parks n Rec, The Office. Not Brooklyn 99, so stop telling me to watch that.
HBO’s John Adams
It’s always sunny in Philadelphia comes the closest but nothing is same level
Mad men
Arrested development, its always sunny in Philadelphia, community
The Office
Office?
The Nanny, Mom, Rockford Files
Veep
Community
It’s always sunny, Peep Show
The Office, Reno 911, Parks & Rec
Community, Parks and Rec, The Office
None. Maybe The Office in 2nd
Parks & Rec
Veep
3rd Rock from the Sun
Parks and rec
Seinfeld
Not the same genre but Simpsons to season 8
Fleabag
Parks and rec
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the Office (US)
SNL and The Simpsons
Literally none
Shitt's Creek
I don’t really have anything else I’m willing to watch over and over like 30 Rock..
Frasier
Archer, Seinfeld, Silicone Valley, Community, Brooklyn 99, How I met your Mother.
Arrested Development, it's always sunny in Philadelphia
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Arrested development, succession
Parks and Recreation, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development
House, Scubs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, MASH, McGyver, Magnum PI, Simon & Simon, 3rd Rock From The Sun
None
There isn't one
None
The Good Place, Superstore, The Office, Parks and Rec
Lost
Arrested development, always sunny in Philadelphia.
Arrested Development, It’s Always Sunny
Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Curse, It's Always Sunny
It’s always sunny in Philadelphia
Arrested development
I’m not going to list my top 10 when I already said it’s top 10 all time
Parks and Rec
Arrested Development
None!
Better Off Ted
Peep Show
Seinfeld
Community, Arrested Development.
Arrested Development
Parks and rec, arrested development
Queen of Jordan, MILF Island, Goldcase
The Office, Veep, Arrested Development, Parks and Rec, Malcolm in the Middle.
Arrested
Hacks, Frasier
Still Game
Community, Always Sunny, Futurams
Arrested Development seasons 1-3.
Schitts creek
Parks. Twin Peaks. SHADOWS. early Letterkenny, the Sate, kith
Parks and Rec, Community, God Cop
Arrested Development
Seinfeld
None
None
Parks and Rec
Arrested Development, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation, Veep, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Archer, South Park
The office, friends, scrubs
Arrested Development
Parks and rec, the office
Simpsons
Kimmy Schmidt
Community
None
Seinfeld, Arrested Development*, Frasier
Milf Island
Queen of Jordan
Arrested development
Frajer, MASH, Seinfeld
Office
Parks and Rec, the good place
Community, The Office, Parks and Rec, Arrested Development
The Good Place; Ted Lasso; Girls5Eva
The Simpsons, the first 3 seasons of MASH, Sopranos, Arrested Development, Frasier
Unreal le Kimmy Schmidt, SNL
Parks and Rec
None
Community, curb your enthusiasm
I see Parks and Recreation as it’s ’emotionally in-touch twin’
Community
Bitch Hunter
Park and Rec, Scrubs, curb your enthusiasm, I’m sure there are others.
BoJack Horseman, Crazy Ex-girlfriend, Superstore
Few
Community, Always Sunny in Philadelphia
The West Wing, The Sopranos,
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Parks and Rec
Frasier, Shorsey
Community
Community Kimmy Schmidt Seinfeld old Simpsons
Parks n Rec, Office maybe
Jay Leno lol
Veep
Seinfeld
Party Down, Seinfeld, Parks And Recreation, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Brooklyn 99
Futurama, parks and rec, kimmy schmidt
They’re not the same humogenre at all, but I also love Who’s the Boss?, The Office, Arrested Development, Hacks, Law & Order: SVU, and Mad Men
Fleabag
The Office, Parks and Rec, Community, Good Place, Brooklyn 99, Always Funny
Breaking Bad, Sopranos, the Office
None.
Community
Veep
Gilmore Girls, another well written comedy
The Office, Parks and Rec, Peep Show (UK)
Nothing, closest are parks and rec, community, and arrested development.
Arrested Development
Parks and Rec
Absolutely fabulous
Parks and Rec! Maybe The Good Place
Nothing! Maybe Parks and Rec
The Office, Parks and Rec, and Community. Bonus points for when they all aired on the same night.
Arrested Dev
Queen of Jordan
Arrested Development
What We Do In The Shadows
Veep
Modern family
There really isn’t one.
John from Cincinati
Girls 5 Eva
Seinfeld
Girls5Eva, Kimmy Schmidt,
Veep
honesty idk it’s a quite good time tho
Community
The comedies I think are on par with 30 Rock, in terms of hilariousness and overall quality, are: Arrested Development (initial run), Future Man (first season), and What We Do in the Shadows.
If you're also wondering what shows are on my shortlist of all time greats with 30 Rock, regardless of genre: Chernobyl, early Game of Thrones, The Americans, and True Detective (first season).
The number one greatest show of all time, though, without any contest, is The Leftovers. The whole show is a masterpiece, but the second season in particular is one of the greatest works of art I've seen.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt if it had been longer
Yes
Community, psych
Veep, what we do in the shadows, Frasier, always sunny
Arrested development
Parks and Rec, Brooklyn 99, Bobs Burgers
None. B99 and P&R are fun but unmatched
B99
Parks and rec
Parks & Recreation, Veep
Always Sunny, Arrested Development, The Office
Scrubs, AD (1-3)
None
It’s Always Sunny
What we do in the shadows, parks and rec
Happy Endings
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Parks and Recreation, King of the Hill
The office, pnr, good place
Letterkenny
Fleabag
Arrested Development, The Office, Community, The Good Place
Arrested development
arrested development, bojack horseman, broad city
Yes
Your mom.
The office, arrested development
Other series?
The Good Place
Arrested Development, Veep
Breaking Bad
Mad Men.
Community and Scrubs
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Community
Seinfeld
Brooklyn 99
Good place
No
mad men, futurama, archer
Arrested Development, Community
South park
Any Michael Shur show, Schitt’s Creek, New Girl
Ted Lasso
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, The Muppet Show
South park
Community, Seinfeld, Arrested Development, New Girl, Paris and Rec
None
Community, arrested development
Frasier, The Good Place, It's Always Sunny
always sunny
X Files, Family Guy, Barry, Venture Bros., Lost, Game of Thrones
Arrested Development
Arrested development
Arrested Development
Literally none
Schitts Creek
Literally other Tina Fey programs and that’s like it lmao
Arrested development
Scrubs, HIMYM
Mad Men
Community
Himym
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Modern Family, The Office, Parks and Rec, Schitt's Creek, Arrested Development
Community
Hacks
Community, Arrested Development (1-3)
Parks and Rec
Arrested development
Community
Curb
No match
American Dad (in terms of how much I quote it)
Veep
Drama: the Americans, the sopranos
Comedy: the good place
Parks and Rec
Veep, arrested development, curb, Seinfeld
Nn
Veep
Kimmy Schmidt maybe
Community
Arrested development, psych, unbreakable,
Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Always Sunny
The simpsons
Arrested Development, Always sunny, community
Parks and Rec, The Office, Community, Last Man on Earth, Kimmy Schmidt
None except The Good Place
Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Community
Arrested Development (first two seasons only)
Strangers with Candy, scrubs
Early Simpsons
MASH
Community, maybe the first 3 Arrested Development
Arrested Development
Parks & Rec,
The Office maybe?
Simpsons
Broad City
Happy Endings
Brooklyn 99
Brooklyn 99
Schitts Creek
None
American Dad, IASIP
Arrested Development original seasons
Arrested Development, Community
Community
None
Hacks
Parks and Rec
New Girl, The Office
Frasier
Arrested development
Community
Community, Arrested Development
How I met your mother
Parks and Rec, Crazy Ex Girlfriend
Parks and Rec
Park & Rec,
Red dwarf
Parks and Rec
seinfeld
Breaking Bad
Parks and rec/ what we do in the shadows
I’m also a sex and the city super fan
Community
Veep
30 rock sits alone atop the pyramid for me. But Veep and arrested development get close with script quality and cast dynamic
Arrested development, Veep
Parks and Rec, Arrested Development
Community
Always Sunny
Cheers, 3rd Rock from the Sun
Good Place, Parks and Rec
Archer, arrested development
The Office, The Mighty Boosh
Community, end of list
DeFwan
Futurama, Community
Idk older sitcoms are debatably as cleverly written (i.e. Cheers), but they don’t have that chaotic fever dream quality that 30 has that I love so much
Arrested development
It’s always sunny
Parks and rec, Brooklyn 99
Frasier, Modern Family
Community, parks and rec
The Simpsons
Arrested Development
N/A
The Office, The Good Place
Community, the Office
Schitt’s creek
Arrestes Development or Fleabag.
None
Parks and rec
Scrubs, New Girl, Brooklyn 99
Community
Always sunny, arrested development, broad city, what we do in the shadows
None
Community, Parks and rec
American Vandal
none
Seinfeld, It’s always sunny in Philadelphia
Office
The Office
Bitch Hunter
Arrested Development Seasons 1 - 3, Archer first three seasons, Bobs Burgers
arrested development
Arrested development
No comedy comes close.
Veep
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Community
B99, severance, true det s1
Community
Parks and rec, Brooklyn 99
Comedy: The Office (seasons 1-7), The Simpsons (seasons 2-9)
Other: The Wire, The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Mad Men
Arrested Development
The Office, Parks and Recreation. If only because they were the holy trinity of ABC shows back in the day. I think Brooklyn Nine Nine comes close in a less cynical way, and I think Better Off Ted is equally as funny as 30 Rock, but keeps things a little more grounded in reality. The British version of The Inbetweeners is equally funny to me at times, too.
Seinfeld
The Larry Sanders Show
Broad City; High Maintenance
the offiec
30 Rock
None.
New Girl, the office, arrested development
Community, Seinfeld, Golden Girls
Arrested Development
Always sunny
Community
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the Office, Kimmy Schmidt, I Think You Should Leave
The Good Place
Veep
IASIP, bobs burgers, b99,
Curb
Community
Frasier.
Not as good as Seinfeld but definitely up there with if not above Community
Strangers with candy
Parks and Rec
The Sopranos
can’t think of one comedy/sitcom that’s as well written. nothing compares
The Middle, The Good Place
Ted lasso, parks and rec
The sumpsons
Sunny, Parks and Rec, Curb
None
Broad City
Frasier
The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Cheers, Seinfeld, The Simpson, Arrested Development
don't know, community?
The Good Place
Parks and recreation
Curb your enthusiasm, veep, arrested development
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and BitchHunter.
None. The closest is Veep.
Golden Girls
Golden Girls, P and R, Fraijer, 3rd Rock from the Sun,
Arrested development
*
Honestly I think it's probably the best sitcom ever made. Certainly one of the most accurate ones. I enjoy Parks and Rec for a lot of the same reasons but I've rewatched 30 Rock more times than I can count and I consider it peak TV. Absolutely required viewing for anyone who wants to work in entertainment.
Schitt's Creek
Arrested development, community, parks and rec, the office, archer
Community
Always Sunny
First 3 seasons of AD
The Golden Girls, Fleabag, Frasier, Arrested Development
Arrested Development, Girls5Eva
The Girlie Show
Community, better off ted, parks and rec
Arrested Development
First 3 series of Arrested Development
Community
Community
Seinfeld, frajer
None - it's in a league of its own
None
The Sopranos
Seinfeld, American dad
King of the Hill
Veep, Arrested Development, Superstore, Great News
Girls 5eva. community.
IASIP
None
Arrested Development (first 3 seasons)
Arrested Development
Mad Men, Silo, Bitch Hunter
psych/scrubs/b99
Community seasons 1-3
Cunk on Earth
Arrested Development, Veep, Kath & Kim (USA), and all the Tina Fey shows
Arrested development
Comedy-wise
Seinfeld
Curb
Veep
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Community
Veep, Bojack Horseman, The Good Place, Crazy Ex-girlfriend, Arrested Development (seasons 1-3), Parks & Rec
How I Met Your Mother; Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood; Mr. Robot; Parks and Recreation
Community. Other Tina Fey produced shows have the same spirit (Kimmy, Girls5Eva, etc.) and they fill the void, but can’t quite rise to the exact same level of adventure that Fievel Goes West gave us.
None, maybe Seinfeld
Community, P&R, The Office, Veep
Superstore
The Good Place
Arrested Development
Extraordinary, Derry Girls
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
The wire
Scrubs, the west wing
None
Milf island
Parks and Rec, Better Call Saul
Snl
The IT Crowd, True Blood
My Name is Earl
Parks and rec, will and grace, psych, monk
office
For enjoyment and comfort food rewatchability? The Office, Parks and Rec, Malcom in the Middle, The Middle, Golden Girls, etc. For absolute top notch poignant jokes? None. I haven’t found a show that matches the same level of snarky, smart, zany, and topical jokes. There’s tons of real easy political dig jokes on tv now, but 30 rock was truly something else and something very special, it wasn’t ever heavy handed without letting you know they knew they were being heavy handed and that was part of the joke.
The Office (US), Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Arrested Development (og run), Portlandia, Curb
Nothing
always sunny, kimmy schmidt
Community, Parks and Recreation
Arrested Development
Seinfeld, Arrested Development
Parks & Rec
Veep
The Simpsons, Parks and Rec, Always Sunny
None
Kimmy Schmidt
Milf Island
First few seasons of the Simpsons
Arresed Development, The Good Place, You're the Worst, Hacks
Community, IASIP
Better off Ted
Parks and Rec, The Office, Seinfeld, what we do in the shadows, Brooklyn 99, workaholics, it's always sunny in Philadelphia
Parks and Rec, The Office (early seasons)
Arrested development
Arrested Development, I Love Lucy
Parks and Rec
Curb
TGS with Tracky Jonjon
Parks and Rec, Archer(S1-5), Seinfeld, Abbott Elementary (give them time),
Curb your enthusiasm
Seinfeld maybe?
Ken Burns Civil War
Breaking Bad
Will & Grace
Portlandia
Parks and Rec, Community, B99
Arrested Development, Brooklyn 99
Broad City, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidy
Seinfeld, Beverly Hillbillies, Veep, CHiPs
Girls5eva, Broad City, Arr Development
30 Rock is unparalleled.
Mr Robot - different type of program but also weird and has its own unique world
I don’t love ranking things, bur i enjoy Brooklyn 99, Girls 5Eva and The Other Two quite a bit
Venture Bros, Psych, Seinfeld, Brooklyn 99, Parks and Rec
Veep, Always Sunny, What We Do in the Shadows, Arrested Development
bojack?
Veep
Arrested Development
Arrested Development
Office
Arrested Development
Parks and Rec.
Brooklyn 99
arrested development
The Good Place, Psych, Scrubs, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
2024.05.17 01:32 novelpuckhead AITA for holding a grudge against my ex-bestie for longer than our friendship was?
This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.
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In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.
2024.05.17 01:32 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, Avoidant and no Avoidant people
Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
2024.05.17 01:31 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, Avoidant and no Avoidant people
Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
2024.05.17 01:31 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, Avoidant and no Avoidant people
Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
2024.05.17 01:30 SnooChipmunks4981 Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, Avoidant and no Avoidant people
Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
submitted by SnooChipmunks4981 to u/SnooChipmunks4981 [link] [comments]
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now
2024.05.17 01:28 TelephoneDue3814 First trip over the ocean!
Hi, all! Always so thankful for your help and support. On Sunday I'm taking my first flight out of the country EVER! I'm flying from JFK to Dublin on JetBlue. Couple days later, I'm flying from Belfast to Mallorca on EasyJet. Later that week, Mallorca to Paris (I think still EasyJet?) And then home from Paris on French Bee. All planes are Airbuses. The happy news is that flights to California have made me more confident and a year ago I wouldn't have dreamed of taking this trip. The hard part is that I am still very scared! I just know I can do it scared! My OCD just wants certainty. I know I can't have it. But some support and words of wisdom would be nice. Flying over the ocean feels extra scary because: what if there's an emergency and we are just out over the ocean? What if I have a medical issue? Will there be more turbulence? Are outcomes worse over the ocean in general? Sure I'm on an Airbus, but maybe they're "due" for bad news since Boeing has been in the new so much, my head says 😂 I logically know it is all safe and done soooo many times every day, but some tips would help! Thank y'all!
submitted by TelephoneDue3814 to fearofflying [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 01:26 ImCursedM8 [REQUEST] [STEAM] Dark Souls 3
The dark souls franchise is my number one game franchise of all time, I discovered it four years ago when I was a teenager and it completely won me over. I only had a PS3 and an old laptop back then so I only was able to play Dark souls and Dark souls 2, I played them for months I even convinced my grandmother to buy me Dark souls 2 on the ps3 just so I could stop borrowing my friends copy allowing us to co-op.
Three years ago I was fed up with not being able to play Dark souls 3, I didn't have many options then just a laptop with intel uhd graphics and a dream. I didn't have hope back then that I'd get a decent gaming setup so I decided it wasn't worth it to buy Dark souls 3 on steam when it was on sale back then. Instead I sailed the high seas to get a taste, our wifi was incredibly slow back then so I had to come over to a friend's house multiple times to download the game. Setting it up took days of troubleshooting but when I finally got it working it felt like heaven, even though the game was running windowed of 480p pushing only 25 frames at most I played to the end, It was a great experience for me honestly, I made the most out of what I had and it boosted my confidence in what I can do if I set my mind to it.
I'm really good at souls, I have been playing since I was a teen I know the ins and outs, I want to complete the souls journey again but this time not scuffed, times have been tough recently but I know better than to wallow in self pity, things will get better after all what can be harder than dark souls 3 on its lowest possible settings.
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199023137539/
submitted by ImCursedM8 to GiftofGames [link] [comments]
Three years ago I was fed up with not being able to play Dark souls 3, I didn't have many options then just a laptop with intel uhd graphics and a dream. I didn't have hope back then that I'd get a decent gaming setup so I decided it wasn't worth it to buy Dark souls 3 on steam when it was on sale back then. Instead I sailed the high seas to get a taste, our wifi was incredibly slow back then so I had to come over to a friend's house multiple times to download the game. Setting it up took days of troubleshooting but when I finally got it working it felt like heaven, even though the game was running windowed of 480p pushing only 25 frames at most I played to the end, It was a great experience for me honestly, I made the most out of what I had and it boosted my confidence in what I can do if I set my mind to it.
I'm really good at souls, I have been playing since I was a teen I know the ins and outs, I want to complete the souls journey again but this time not scuffed, times have been tough recently but I know better than to wallow in self pity, things will get better after all what can be harder than dark souls 3 on its lowest possible settings.
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199023137539/
2024.05.17 01:24 DeathForever3 [REQUEST] [STEAM] コイカツ！ / Koikatsu Party
Yes, I would play this game on my public account, I am not a coward.
One of the main reasons I'm interested in it is because it's highly moddable. It allows for a lot of creativity and customization, which is really appealing to me. Many people use it to create visual novels or set up scenes and pictures. This is exactly what I want to do.
The community around it is incredibly active and supportive, which means there's a wealth of content of mods available. Whether you're looking for new characters, backgrounds, or specific tools to enhance your projects, you're likely to find it or get help from other users. This makes the whole experience much more enjoyable, to be honest.
My Steam profile is: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198172067087/
Thank you for even reading this, I hope you have a good day :D
Below is details of said game/tool
コイカツ！ / Koikatsu Party ABOUT THIS GAME
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ The Ultimate Anime Character Maker ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Do you dream about your perfect waifu, and curse the fact that she only exists in your imagination? Well, turn that frown upside down, because the character of your dreams can now be reality!
Customizing your own adorable anime character is easy with Illusion's latest and greatest invention—a character creation system that employs ultra high-quality anime-style shaders.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Over 300+ Adjustable Settings ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Are you a man of culture? Do you have very specific preferences? Well, with over 300 different settings you can adjust, we have all the options you need to sculpt a character to match your refined tastes.
Use our custom suite of precision tools to adjust every aspect of your masterpiece, and watch as our engine renders her with ultra high-quality anime shaders. Sleek graphics and textures will help bring your waifu to laifu!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ A Wealth of Options for Customizing Faces ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Our character creator gives you an unparalleled level of control over facial features, and intuitive controls make it easy for anyone to design the perfect face.
Shape, size, position, contours, dimensions—customize them all! Want pointy elf ears? Easy! Want to change the color of just one eye? Piece of cake! You have the ability to make a character for any type of setting you can imagine!
Choose from a wide variety of different hairstyles. And even better, you can select different hair sections and adjust them individually for ultimate customizability!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Sculpt the Perfect Body ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ A wide range of options to customize your character's body will leave you wondering why you ever bothered with real people. Seriously, who needs reality when you have anime?
Sculpt every curve with settings both general and specific. Breasts, hips, arms, busts, legs: seriously, we've got options to adjust pretty much anything you can dream of.
But wait, there's more! Why not give your character purple skin, or add in cool shadows, or even change the color of her outline? We support all sorts of coloring schemes and light options. I mean, this is anime we're talking about. The sky's the limit! ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 30 Unique Personality Archetypes ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Of course, physical perfection is nothing without personality. That's why we provide 30 fully unique personality archetypes for you to give your waifu!
Start with a knockout body, add in the perfect face, and season with a dash of tsundere or tomboy, and blam! You've got your own personally perfect anime heroine!
submitted by DeathForever3 to GiftofGames [link] [comments]
One of the main reasons I'm interested in it is because it's highly moddable. It allows for a lot of creativity and customization, which is really appealing to me. Many people use it to create visual novels or set up scenes and pictures. This is exactly what I want to do.
The community around it is incredibly active and supportive, which means there's a wealth of content of mods available. Whether you're looking for new characters, backgrounds, or specific tools to enhance your projects, you're likely to find it or get help from other users. This makes the whole experience much more enjoyable, to be honest.
My Steam profile is: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198172067087/
Thank you for even reading this, I hope you have a good day :D
Below is details of said game/tool
コイカツ！ / Koikatsu Party ABOUT THIS GAME
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ The Ultimate Anime Character Maker ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Do you dream about your perfect waifu, and curse the fact that she only exists in your imagination? Well, turn that frown upside down, because the character of your dreams can now be reality!
Customizing your own adorable anime character is easy with Illusion's latest and greatest invention—a character creation system that employs ultra high-quality anime-style shaders.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Over 300+ Adjustable Settings ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Are you a man of culture? Do you have very specific preferences? Well, with over 300 different settings you can adjust, we have all the options you need to sculpt a character to match your refined tastes.
Use our custom suite of precision tools to adjust every aspect of your masterpiece, and watch as our engine renders her with ultra high-quality anime shaders. Sleek graphics and textures will help bring your waifu to laifu!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ A Wealth of Options for Customizing Faces ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Our character creator gives you an unparalleled level of control over facial features, and intuitive controls make it easy for anyone to design the perfect face.
Shape, size, position, contours, dimensions—customize them all! Want pointy elf ears? Easy! Want to change the color of just one eye? Piece of cake! You have the ability to make a character for any type of setting you can imagine!
Choose from a wide variety of different hairstyles. And even better, you can select different hair sections and adjust them individually for ultimate customizability!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Sculpt the Perfect Body ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ A wide range of options to customize your character's body will leave you wondering why you ever bothered with real people. Seriously, who needs reality when you have anime?
Sculpt every curve with settings both general and specific. Breasts, hips, arms, busts, legs: seriously, we've got options to adjust pretty much anything you can dream of.
But wait, there's more! Why not give your character purple skin, or add in cool shadows, or even change the color of her outline? We support all sorts of coloring schemes and light options. I mean, this is anime we're talking about. The sky's the limit! ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 30 Unique Personality Archetypes ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Of course, physical perfection is nothing without personality. That's why we provide 30 fully unique personality archetypes for you to give your waifu!
Start with a knockout body, add in the perfect face, and season with a dash of tsundere or tomboy, and blam! You've got your own personally perfect anime heroine!