Sunday school puppet plays

I'm a substitute teacher in Florida, and I have been for about a year while I work towards my degree. I'm gonna start this off by saying most of the schools that I have been to have been perfectly fine; the students walk in normally, take a seat and converse quietly until I start instructing, at which point they quiet down and follow whatever instructions I give them. Even if there is talking during work time, I can generally trust that it won't get out of hand and that all the students will still complete the work given. Students at these schools actually respect educators.
The crazy thing is, when I say "these schools" I'm sure y'all think I mean affluent white majority schools; the reality is that a lot of the schools I teach at are majority Hispanic and not all that well off, yet they are still respectful and still show an eagerness to learn.
Every single majority black school I have been to has been a shit show. Students come into class running around, jumping, pushing other kids, walking in and out of class, blasting music, cursing—basically everything but respectfully walking in. Even after the bell rings, the students at black majority schools act like nothing happened; when I try to give my instruction, I am met with laughter and even louder talking.
Let's say I make it past that little hurdle and actually manage to give the instructions to the students. None of them take the initiative to do anything unless I am literally hovering over them every single second of the period. If they don't have a pencil, they will just sit there all class doing nothing. And their excuse? It was your fault for not giving them one in the first place. I am not exaggerating when I say NONE of them have any interest in learning. If I so much as look down for a second, it's back to mayhem in the classroom.
Every day that I work at a black majority school, I endure insults from multiple students (such as "fuck you nigga" or "I ain't doin' that shit bitch" in response to being asked to do a worksheet), witness twerking on a desk to Sexyy Redd's music, see at least three fights, and send at least ten students to the office (who by the way get sent back 20 minutes later doing the same thing that got them sent out).
The funniest part is I think liberal leaning people in this country tend to have this false belief that just because someone is black, they are automatically progressive and accepting. These kids I have seen at black majority schools say some of the most vile, disgusting shit I have ever heard. On the daily, comments making fun of rape, gay people, teen moms, and pretty much anything or anyone else you can think of. As an Indian-American male, I have ONLY experienced racism at these black majority schools. These kids will literally play stereotypical Indian music on a hidden speaker to mess with me, ask me if I have a job at 7/11, call me Mohammad—you get the point.
These majority black schools are not worth all the support and help that they get; their students do not know how to use it. These kids wouldn't try in school even if they were guaranteed a full ride to Harvard after.

Me M26 and my now ex F32 have been together and living together for over a year. I know that doesn't sound like a long time but we've been pretty good friends for 8 years before that. I have met my person, I never once questioned that the relationship we had would end. She was the love of my life and I so wanted her to be the mother of my children and be with me for life. I had even started planning the proposal. We had so many plans and both expressed a ton of interest in spending our lives together.
We were planning on buying a house together, Buying a golf cart to ride around our neighborhood to visit all the friends that we made together. We had a family vacation planned in June that we had already paid for. Hell we even almost had a child once and were both so fucking excited. Fast forward to last week. Out of the blue she came to me and said she thinks we need a break... This hit me hard, I was listening to the love of my life tell me that she doesn't know what she wants anymore and that almost killed me.
I told her I just wanted her to be happy and I gave her the space she needed. This lasted 2 days, she texted me while I was at work and said that she missed me and we were going to be ok. She was going to figure it out (Heart emojis and all) I was so happy. My mood was at an all time high since the woman I loved still loved me, or so I thought.
Well on Monday I came home to find her sitting outside. I was happy to see her but I could tell she was not feeling the same. She just came out and said it, She was done... This killed me, I was blindsided and didn't know what to think. She said a lot of things that hurt including the fact that she never loved me from day one (This is either a lie or she faked it super well). I packed a few things and left with some friends as she told me If I stayed it would make things worse. I haven't been home in over a week. I feel like my life is crashing down, the woman I loved told me she didn't love me and to make things worse she thinks I'm going to retaliate. I am not allowed in our home without her present and found out that she changed the locks to the house the day after I left, reminder that we have been friends for 8 years prior to this. She has zero trust in me and I have never given her the slightest reason for her not to trust me. I found out that when I go to get my stuff on Sunday that she is going to have her Dad and Brother there and It just hurts so bad... I thought I loved this woman but in the past couple days she has changed for the worse.
She's treating me like I'm a bad guy and she knows I would've risked my life for her if given the chance. I still lover her and I think I always will but she has played so many games with my emotions I don't know If I could ever trust anyone like that again. I don't know how Sunday is gonna go down and that terrifies me. I feel at this point there is no way I can even continue a friendship with her and she keeps telling me that she doesn't want to lose me as a best friend.
I am lost.
I have to restart my life, a life that I had planned with her and I don't know how I'm going to do that.

One week and one day of school left for my fifth graders! We’re doing board games at the end of the day, and I’m looking for suggestions. We have the classics- guess who, connect 4, battleship, headbands, etc
And they love Spot it and Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza. So I’m looking for more suggestions like that- I think it’s the rapid pace and the simple rules that make it work really well. So I’d love some suggestions for other similar card games. Or other games in general
I just really don’t want to spend the last week with everyone watching movies or staring at a computer screen, so I’d love game suggestions they get excited about and want to play together!
General information- games that can fit more participants are great but not necessary, nothing super complex- they can probably deal with a 7 or 8 minute explanation of rules max. Something without a bunch of pieces that could get lost would be awesome.

I need a family friendly comedy play for a high school to produce. Our school won't allow cursing, sexual jokes, drug jokes, etc.

To be more specific.. I have exact scenarios of what I’m talking about. Like when you’ve been down a while but you get in the car on a nice Sunday morning and hear the right song that makes you go “you know life really isn’t that bad” for a split few minutes.
Or when you just have a moment of feeling FREE, what song is playing in the background?
I have many but one of mine is Sweet Thing by Van Morrison 🙂

Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch, Reminiscence: By Their Own Rope to Chapter 7
Welcome back to Tal Verrar, where the artifice is real and the pirates are fake. Let's see if we know the Gentlemen Bastards’ business this week.
Summary
Six months since the last Reminiscence, Locke has locked up the mysterious chairs and is with Jean in Vo Samara. Jean brought rope which was secured around a thick tree trunk. They're practicing getting to the vault. They used harnesses and a safety line to rappel down the cliff.
Someone calls down to them from the top. He'd steal their coats and chop the ropes. He was a highwayman always on the lookout for people to rob. He called them heretics and cut one of Locke’s lines. Jean tried to throw a knife at him, but only the hilt hit. Then the thief fell off the cliff onto Locke’s harness. Jean grabbed the bandit by the hair, and Locke held a knife to his throat.
His name was Trav, and he was unemployed. Jean made it up first and hauled them up. Locke berates the incompetent thief. He left a purse of silver for him. He could be helpful to them later if he remembered their kindness. It had been eighteen months since anyone tried to kill them.
In the present day, they eat breakfast at The Gilded Cloister. They discuss the attack last night and who might want them dead. Merrain is dressed as a waitress and hands them a bill and a note to meet where they first met. They are on their guard all the way there. They enter an abandoned shop where four men in gray cloaks and hats wait for them. The four men are decoys. Jean and Locke don their own cloaks and hats and get in a carriage.
Merrain is already in their carriage. They will head to the docks. They hoist themselves into a boat filled with rowers. Merrain is the coxswain. They enter the Sword Marina and the stone walls of the bay. A man meets them there and says it's a fool's mission. He's Caldris the ship's master. He leads them to a dinghy in a “pissing-pond” for practice. Stragos had tricked him with poisoned wine, too, so he “volunteered” his services.
Every ship must have a woman officer and a cat for luck. They have a kitten but don't need the woman yet. Caldris cut their palms with a knife and put a slice of bread over it as part of a ritual to the deity Iono Stormbringer. They practice rowing for hours. He bet them that they would capsize, and he won.
Locke is exhausted, but he has to see Requin and give him the chairs and tell him of the voyage. Merrain almost didn't let him go. After two hours, he and the chairs go to see Requin. He waits at the service entrance and pays a servant to get him Selendri. She used to be an Eye of the Archon before her injury.
Requin loves the chairs. Locke says he won them in a card game. He tells Requin that he'll be away for a while to find a lockpicker named “Calo Callas.” Requin makes him promise to tell him of any more plans right away.
They learn how to use a Verrari/Camorri quadrant (sextant) among other navigational instruments, books, and charts. Stragos and Merrain pay a visit to fit his uniform. He must look the part of a Captain at least for a day.
The ship The Red Messenger is in the harbor one day. It was seized from a man who tried to smuggle in stiletto wasps. The enormity of his task hit Locke as he boarded for the first time. Two weeks of training had prepared him to climb the ropes to the mast and sails. Caldris was feeling his age as they climbed down. Luckily the captain and the master stay on deck.
Jean found Locke in a sailor’s bar trying to get drunk and forget anything nautical for a night. (Wrong place for it.) Six watchmen entered and caused tension. The bar patrons were hostile, so one of the watchmen left some money for a round on him and all left. Locke and Jean give their free dark ale to a dockworker woman. The woman was choking and gagging. One the bar workers had put some poison (and not salt) in the drinks!
A ship leech used Locke’s stiletto to perform a tracheotomy on her so she could breathe. It was too late, though. The barkeeper accused the doctor of killing her. The other sailors demand he apologize. Then he drank some ale to prove it wasn't deadly. Jean asked where the second assistant was. Authorities would be called, so Jean and Locke made their exit. The free ale was a cover, and the watchmen were used by someone trying to kill them. The Priori did it.
Jean catches a man in the alleyway. He's an Eye, but who can be sure anymore? They want him to send a message to Merrain that they need a place to stay and protection.
They check out of the inn, and Locke sends a note to Requin. Caldris is even harder on them in his training. All three devise hand signals for when they can't speak among the crew. Caldris and Merrain are impressed by Locke's acting prowess.
Later on, Locke and Jean knock out a guard with a hood full of a sedative. A tower is their destination. Stragos had brought one of his own ships for them to do a demonstration. They sail to Windward Rock where a prison tower stands. That's where Stragos locked up the other Captain for stealing and treachery. He says that this Captain is Locke.
In the tower, Locke hands his papers to a woman who shows them to the lieutenant behind a desk. His pseudonym is Orrin Ravelle. He and Jean are there to see the prisoners. They both attack the guards. A poison called witfrost will put them asleep for the night.
Stragos tells Locke about Highpoint Citadel Gaol and Windward Rock. He has arranged for Ravelle to have a paper trail. He will find his crew in Windward Rock. The prisoners were in one large cell. Locke tells them that he chose them to be his crew. (Stragos chose 44 and made their lives miserable so they would want to leave and be on his crew. Four were women and got too sick, or so he said.)
Locke promises them equal shares of any plunder and freedom from the hell cell. They clamber to join.
Caldris had a bad feeling about the voyage if there won't be any women on board and no basket of cats.
Prisoner Jabril is made acting mate. Two younger prisoners row a boat out to a bigger boat. They all board and sail to the Red Messenger.
Merrain had hidden nearby, and after they all left, she snuck into the tower and killed the guards except the two on the top floor.
Locke pretends to knock out the guard on the ship. Duties are assigned. The guard is placed in the smaller boat. Some of the men were on the ship before and were assigned topmen. So starts their voyage. Locke was having fun playing the part of rogue Captain.
They sight sails on day three, but it's too early to be pillaging. Locke orders them to practice archery. Caldris estimates that they'll make it to the Ghostwinds in two weeks.
The crew drank and partied, playing knife throwing games. Locke saw bioluminescent ghostly things called flit-wraiths. Caldris had seen unbelievable things out on the sea. Two of the islands’ populations were destroyed: one by fire during a war and one by some kind of monster from the jungle.
The crew notices there are no cats. Locke had forgotten them on shore. (Uh-oh!) He tells them they're shy and hiding. Caldris is tired and gets little sleep. He is pissed off that there's no cats. The crew will mutiny if they find out. They'll have to fight another ship just for the cats. (They better hope it rains cats and dogs.)
A storm is brewing. The crew ready the ship and its supplies. Locke and Jean spend rare time alone in the stern cabin. Caldris feebly knocks at the door, and has a heart attack. He dies just as the storm hits. (Double uh-oh!)
Extras
Marginalia
Parts of a ship
Ship's cats
Ship's cats in hammocks
St Corella’s fire is actually St Elmo's Fire.
Larboard used to mean left.
Navigate back here May 23 for Part 2, Chapters 8-11. Questions are in the comments.

You know what the best part is about playing Engineer in Team Fortress 2? You get to watch how angry everyone gets when they get shot by your sentry guns. Me and my best friend Jose both main Engineer, and can confirm that the best way to spend your Friday nights after school is to set up a sentry and get ready for the rage. There’s been matches where we haven’t even used our actual guns even once, but racked up lots of kills just because of the sentries.
One day Jose called me up with an idea that was either going to be the stupidest thing ever or the smartest thing ever. He wanted to fill an entire team with only Engineers and watch the chaos unfold. I couldn’t stop laughing at the mental image in my head and agreed with the plan. I joined a Discord server with everyone else on the team.
I convinced my cousin Matthew to join, and he in turn brought along his little brother Zack. According to Matthew, it took quite a bit of convincing because Zack was a Scout main who couldn’t stand Engineers. He eventually got through to his little brother by promising him a Steam gift card. I even got their dad Graham to play along (yes, I have an uncle who plays TF2. How cool is that?). Jose enlisted his friends, who turned into friends of friends and soon enough we had a team of 16 Engineers.
To say that we caused chaos that night was an absolute understatement. As soon as we joined the game the text chat was flooded with messages from the other team wondering what the hell was going on. And they only got worse from that point on. We surrounded our control points with a ring of sentries that people just kept running into. I saw keyboard smashes and heard other teen boys’ voices crack in rage and many, many words that I personally don’t care to repeat here.
The most skilled Engineer was this guy named Craig, who was a friend of one of Jose’s friends. Not only was he the main person capturing the enemy control points with some very strategically placed teleporters, but he was also really friendly and encouraging to all of us. I didn’t know what he looked like, but from his voice it sounded like he was in his early 20s.
Me and Craig started to chat more and more on Discord. He was a super nice guy who was also really fun to talk with. He took time out of his day to teach me how to be an even better Engineer player. Whenever someone started dissing me in the voice chat, he firmly told them to leave me alone. After seeing my fair share of toxicity in the TF2 community, it was nice to know that this complete stranger was looking out for me.
This whole Team Engineer thing became a weekly tradition for us on Friday nights. It was something everyone could look forward to after work or school. One time after everyone logged off and said their goodbyes, Craig sent a message a few hours later in our Discord:
“You guys gotta check this out. I found the weirdest server ever. It’s literally Engineer heaven. Meet me at vl_sentry.”
I was still in the mood to play and I could stay up late tonight, so I hopped back on TF2. I saw that Jose, Graham and this other girl we played with named Lynn were also online. I found vl_sentry and connected to the server. The map was called Valley of the Sentries and it was created by Valve.
It took my computer a little bit to process the map, and it took me even longer than that to process what I was seeing.
The map looked like a chessboard with 3D-sculpted hills. The sky was just pure white. Not even white walls, just the color white. Every square had a blue sentry on it and there were about 4 or 5 other Engineers jumping around, spamming their voice lines. That’s when I realized that we were the only ones there, and there was no red team.
“Hey Sean, glad you could make it :)” Craig said in the text chat. “What the hell is this?” I asked. He told me that this was a server that one of his friends showed him. The friend said he was introduced to the map by a friend of his who knew someone who worked at Valve. Craig then went on to explain that apparently Valley of the Sentries was an experiment to test the limits of the sentry guns and their effect on the servers. Rumor has it that the map is infinite.
“Check this out.” said Jose. He switched to Heavy and immediately got shot down. All of the sentries turned towards him. There were so many of them that it made the game lag a ton. He respawned as Engineer and the sentries just kept on spinning.
“WTF?” I typed. “We tried it with all the other classes and it does the same thing.” said Craig. “It ignores Engineers, but shoots everyone else.” Lynn added. “And that’s why we’re the best class. Engineer power!” Graham joked.
I asked what would happen if you were to play as Spy and sap one of the sentries. “I tried, but you gotta have a godly reaction time to activate it.” said Jose. As soon as he said “godly reaction time”, I knew I had to try it out just for the bragging rights.
Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down.
Yeah, I did not have a godly reaction time. The others kept spamming “lol” in the chat each time I failed. I got annoyed pretty quickly and stopped trying. Then out of nowhere, all the sentries turned away from me and started firing at someone. I turned around and all five of us were still standing there. I looked at the top bar that shows how many characters were in the game. There were only five Engineers and they were all on the same team. So what the hell were the sentries targeting?
I started to walk in the direction that the sentries were facing and Jose followed me too. We moved really slow, not only because of the sentries on every square but also the uphill climbs. It was just us two in the chat for a while, talking about seeing each other back at school on Monday while we made our slow walk across the map. Then our conversation was interrupted by a chat message from Lynn.
“Why is there a man in the sky?”
Me and Jose tried to get to Lynn to see what she was talking about as fast as possible, but we moved like snails. To get back to the spawn point, we both switched classes, instantly died and respawned as Engineers. I don’t think we respawned in the same place we started from. I don’t even know where we respawned. There were no landmarks or notable things to help you find your way. Just hills, valleys, and sentries.
I asked Lynn where she was and she just told me she was with Graham and Craig. Only that wasn’t very helpful because we didn’t know where they were either. We stood there, stumped for a minute and a half until Jose got an idea. He said that she should just switch classes and respawn, because then all of the sentries would point toward her and we could follow them all the way back to her. She made the switch, got shot down, and we instantly knew where to find her.
We finally got close enough to kind of make out the vague shape of a few Engineers over the non-existent horizon. Me and Jose were relieved, until all the sentries pointed to our right. I swiveled around and saw them open fire on…nothing. I checked with Jose to see if he caught something I didn’t, but he also didn’t see what they were shooting at. I decided that it wasn’t that important and continued to walk towards the rest of the group.
We met up with Lynn, Craig and Graham, disappointed that we made that trek all for nothing. Even though we were all together now, it just felt so lonely. The only sound coming from my computer was the constant beeping of the sentries in perfect sync. I don’t know why, but it made me so uneasy. I attempted to break the silence by going to the voice lines and playing the iconic Engineer “Nope” soundbite. It echoed across the checkered land with no response.
It was about 12:30 AM at this point and I was starting to feel more and more unsettled with each passing minute. There was just something about this black and white world that I felt creeped out by. Before Craig invited us to come over, there was no one else on the server. Who would even want to play on this map, anyways? It’s so unfairly balanced that only one class can survive. Movement speed was super slow, and you can’t even really do anything except watch the sentries turn and turn and turn forever. It was like hypnosis, except I didn’t feel sleepy or relaxed at all.
Speaking of being sleepy, Jose said he was getting tired and was going to be logging off. We all said goodbye to him and continued chatting amongst ourselves. It sounds stupid, but my stomach dropped when I saw the fifth Engineer portrait disappear. One less person to talk to. One less person to keep myself from wondering what else was out here. I could have sworn that after he left, the beeping got louder.
“So is this map actually infinite?” asked Graham. “Only one way to find out.” Craig said. “Just keep on walking and see if it goes on forever.” “Why don’t you just fire a shotgun and see how far it goes?” Lynn suggested.
I took out the shotgun and fired. The bullet flew off into the white distance and disappeared.
Then I heard the distinct sound of someone getting shot.
A message appeared in the chat, from someone named sentry_check_pattern.
“sentry_check_pattern: stop that”
Once again I looked at the top bar. It just showed four blue Engineers. That meant we were the only ones on the server. Or so we thought.
The chat was flooded with our confusion, almost as if everyone realized at the same time that something wasn’t right. None of us moved an inch.
“What even is this place?” I asked, hoping that the mysterious user would provide me with an answer. “Must be Engineer heaven.” said Graham.
“sentry_check_pattern: more like my personal hell”
This was the moment that made me trust my intuition. I knew there was a reason why I found this map so creepy. I wanted to leave the server, but there was just one thing keeping me back- my own curiosity. My wish to unveil the mysteries of the Valley of the Sentries.
“Okay this is really freaking me out. See ya guys.” said Lynn before she left the server. The fourth Engineer’s portrait disappeared from the top bar.
No no no, please. Please don’t go. Don’t leave us. I wouldn’t want to be alone here. Now there’s just three of us, and I really hope that number doesn’t go down anymore. When the others were here, this was just a weird TF2 map that we were exploring together as friends. And now it feels like we’re trapped in this infinite world, but we aren’t alone. The only problem is we don’t know what else is here.
I shuddered, imagining Craig and Graham ditching me and leaving me all alone in the Valley of the Sentries. Just me and whoever- no, whatever was talking to us.
“sentry_check_pattern: you don’t know how good you have it
you can leave at any time
i can’t”
This terrified me. What a horrible thought, never being able to leave this place. But of course, no one could really be trapped here. It’s a Team Fortress 2 server. You can just exit the game and shut your computer. No one could be trapped in a video game.
But if you think about it, aren’t the characters themselves trapped? They can’t leave the game. They’re characters. They don’t even know they’re in a game. You or the computer controls all their actions. They don’t have free will. And if you’re bad at the game, they’ll just keep dying over and over again.
Wait, why was I thinking about this?
I carefully considered what I wanted to say next in the chat. Whatever I said could either answer all my burning questions or leave me asking more. But sentry_check_pattern talked first.
“sentry_check_pattern: i was made for one purpose
to die over and over again”
Oh my god. It was like this person read my mind and knew exactly what I was thinking about. Who or what was I talking to? I turned all the way around to make sure that no one else was there. It was just the two blue Engineers standing behind me. Just Graham and Craig. And that man with the checkered skin.
Startled, I asked my friends if they saw what I saw. It took them a second, but both of them confirmed that yes, there was indeed something else there. A basic male model with the same chessboard texture as the map. Graham immediately started to shoot at him. Nothing. It just went straight through him.
“sentry_check_pattern: you can’t kill what’s already been killed millions of times over
valve made that mistake too
every company has that one failed project they don’t talk about
and that’s me”
Whoever was behind this weird account was talking crazy. The Team Fortress 2 developers were very open about everything like fixing their glitches and bugs. They always posted things on the official blog about the development process. They’re so open about their failures and always promise to fix them.
“Stop with the weird stuff. We just wanted to know what the deal is with this server and the weird chess guy. Do you know anything about it?” Graham asked in the text chat.
“sentry_check_pattern: know anything?
you’re not very bright, graham
none of you are
do you not realize where you are and what you’re talking to”
Something about the way sentry_check_pattern used Graham’s name gave me goosebumps. I didn’t know what I was talking to. I didn’t even think I wanted to know at this point.
“sentry_check_pattern: this is one of valve’s test servers
i’m the texture they use to check if the sentries work
read between the lines”
“Quiet, NPC.” Craig said. I laughed a little bit to fight off the awkward tension. Then I reminded myself that I was talking to a video game character, no- not even a character. A blank character model. A texture.
“sentry_check_pattern: just because i’m a character model doesn’t mean i can’t feel pain
open fire”
The sentries all swiveled around to face the man and shot at him. He kept falling to the ground, turning white and standing back up in the same position.
“sentry_check_pattern: cease fire”
All of the sentries stopped shooting and just went back to spinning around, their beeps echoing in the air.
“sentry_check_pattern: ready to see what i’ve been through for over a decade?
open fire”
Before any of us could react, the sentries opened fire on Craig all at once. He kept dying, but he didn’t explode the way you’re supposed to when you die in TF2. He just dropped to the floor, turned white, and respawned over and over again. There was no death scream. I tried to type something else in the chat but the game lagged so much that my typing just ended up as a string of random letters that meant nothing. Craig tried to type something out too. It just ended up as “wwwwwwwwwwthisishowitfeelswwwwwwwww” Then the game crashed and my computer shut down.
I hyperventilated. Then I laughed at myself for hyperventilating over a stupid computer game. It was Team Fortress 2 for god’s sake. That game with all the memes and goofy jokes. Stupid, stupid Sean. Scared of a character model. Jose would never let me live it down. I just laughed and laughed to push the fear away.
I closed my laptop and took out my phone to rewatch all of my favorite TF2 animations for the millionth time. As if they weren’t already the funniest things in the world, I forced myself to laugh even harder than usual. Every time I saw the Engineer, I couldn’t help but look at the reflection in his goggles. The reflection of an endless map of black and white squares.
Thankfully, nothing bad happened to my game, account or laptop. The next day I just went right back to playing and enjoying the rage coming from all the people who ran right into my sentries.
Team Engineer was still a thing, but it was never really the same. We played together a lot less frequently. It was still a lot of fun, but I felt a change that I couldn’t really describe.
We found out that Craig had lost all progress on his TF2 account. Everyone gifted him all his favorite cosmetics and we all pooled our money together to get him a Steam gift card. He video called us, crying at our kindness. It was the first time I ever even saw his face. He was a lot older than most of us. If I had to guess an age, I’d say somewhere around 30. He had black bangs and was wearing a TF2 shirt. His room was dark, only lit by his glowing computer screen. He thanked us repeatedly and even tried to return the gift card, but we were all adamant that he should keep it.
Speaking of Craig, we still kept in touch but he didn’t talk to me as much anymore. Any time I tried to ask him about vl_sentry, he ignored me for a few days.
The other day, I got some postcards from my cousin Matthew. He was very academic and happened to be studying at a private high school about 9 hours away from where I live. All of his postcards were pictures of him making funny faces with all his friends at favorite school activities like robotics, debate team, and chess club.
I looked at the chess club photo closely. Matthew and his friends were standing in front of a chessboard with a mirror on the wall. And for a split second, I could have sworn that the chessboard looked different in the mirror. It looked warped, like it wasn’t a flat board anymore. Like it almost had hills and valleys. No, it couldn’t be. I rubbed my eyes. There, in the mirror was a checkered man. I knew it was there. I swear on my mother’s life that there was another person in that photo. And then it was gone. Maybe the picture was just printed badly. But I had to make sure my eyes were right.
So I brought the postcard to school with me and I showed Jose. I asked him if he saw the checkered man in the mirror. He said no. But that wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. That was the answer I hoped I wouldn’t hear. I asked him again. He said no again. Then I asked him another time. He said I was being annoying. So I asked another one of my friends. He said no too. So I moved on to yet another friend. He told me to stop.
I angrily clutched the postcard in my hand, crumpling it. I was the only one that saw what was really there. Everyone else was lying to me. They refused to see the truth.
I screamed and ripped up the postcard. I stomped on its pieces. I rubbed them in the dirt for good measure.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard the sound of electronics beeping.
It rang in my ears.
It was weirdly comforting to me.
You can leave the Valley of the Sentries. But the valley will never leave you.

I’ve been looking at the razor blade 17 for something I can use a boarding school to play on but also to use during the day for schoolwork. From what I can tell it’s not to loud and should last for above the 2.5 hours I would use it during class. But I’m not sure if there are some things I should know before I buy it?

Before Covid happened I used to get amazing grades and was always put to advanced placement even learning 7th grade math in 5th grade. Though after Covid and during Covid things got different. During Covid I did "homeschool" tho it wasn't much learning. When I was in the online school I would just turn my screen around and not listen. After Covid I moved. I was feeling really depressed and missed I'd say more then 3 months of school in total, from me moving schools and skipping days. Though Then I started highschool this school was new. The circlulum was messed up I also had a teacher who sometimes didn't even get things right and teachers who wouldn't even give work and students would just go on there computers and play games. Though I seemed to understand concepts well, when on tests I would do terrible. There is no homework at my school and my math grade is based upon tests so maybe that's apart of it? Or maybe I have some sort of cognitive problem or I'm just dumb?

Hello, hopefully someone can give me advice, or something. Every day feels almost the same, wake up, go to school, and get home. But a couple months ago, i feel like each day is getting shorter and shorter. Each morning i feel like school is gonna be boring and long, but now it feels like 1 or 2 hours instead of 6 or 8 we actually have.
The problem in productivity is in the free time. My free time feels even shorter, and whenever i play some video games and want to study, its already 9pm and i basically do nothing else. Its not like im failing, if i didnt even look at the exam subject i can learn it in school within 20 minutes, and almost ace the exam.
I think it might be a sleeping problem, and ill try to sleep earlier to see if it mentally makes my day feel longer, and i can finally do something productive.
By now, im losing track of time. Im forgetting when basic events happend in the past. Like going for a nice walk, writing an exam, or something easily rememberable. Im forgetting what day of the week it is, or what week it even is.
Before i continue to expand this absolute essay, ill stop here. Its 9:46pm and im feeling the same as i do every night, empty, havent done anything. This mental state has not impacted my learning or social interaction yet, although, i am scared that i will go slowly insane.

This is going to be a long post, so please bear with me. For starters, this is my second time applying to PA school--I was at a disadvantage last cycle, as I applied late July, almost early August. I was working towards my masters degree during that time, and had a bunch of in-progress courses that I need to retake. I wasn't the best student my sophomore year of college, and Organic Chemistry I was the death of me, had to retake it and passed on my third try. I have shadowed a surgical PA for a few months, but because of the pandemic, the hospital was not allowing any students to shadow anymore. I like the idea of PA's bridging the gaps in healthcare, as with everyone. Although lateral mobility and good work-life balance are enticing factors in being a PA, I don't see that as being true. It really is specialty-dependent, an ideally, I think is best to stick with one speciality and perfect your craft. I don't mind the level of autonomy that comes with being a PA, I feel that everybody can be a leader within their own scope of practice.
However, amidst this journey of applying to PA school, during college, and even high school, medical school and being a physician has been nagging in the back of my mind. I come from two loving parents who never pressured me to pursue a career in medicine, but something that will make me satisfied and have a good life. Being a physician means having the breadth of knowledge, thoroughly understanding the mechanism of actions in medication and diseases. Its better to know and comprehend the whole story and the why, instead of just knowing surface level information. I'd like to think being a research assistant is helping me in solidifying my decision to be a physician--I understand that its two completely different things, but I enjoy showing medical students and other graduate students how to dissect a mouse, I love teaching them the anatomy of the mouse, and what each part is special in, and how it pertains to the research that I do. I love being the leader, and I appreciate when my colleagues come to me for questions and ask for my perspective in different things. I enjoy being a leader, yet I enjoy working in a team. For reference, here are my stats, they are not the greatest, but I'd like to think my experiences showcases that:
-graduated college with a 2.943 gpa, had to retake most of my sophomore year's worth of classes, failed organic chemistry I and passed on my third try. with all retakes and masters, raised to 3.02. despite failing most of soph year, i made deans list numerous times.
-got my masters in biomedical sciences, got a 3.4 gpa
-last 60 credits, 3.66, last 45, 3.61
-1955 hours as a night shift float pct, certified in phlebotomy, ekg, and as a pct.
-1392 hours in biochem research, vitamin D regulation focused. abstract sent out, will be presenting in symposium in fall
-new job as mental health specialist on back up call center, about 60 hours since i just started position
-990 hours in social and affective neuroscience research, presented thesis to psych department
-volunteering: sunday school teacher for 2nd graders, habitat for humanity, health screener in grad school, volunteer in hospital in high risk pregnancy and geriatric wings, summer camp counselor in church, food bank.
-teaching experience: learning assistant for psych stats course, helped teach 37 juniors and seniors as a junior, about 42 hours bc during semester.
-hobbies: food festivals, legos, parrots, painting, cooking and baking.
I have not taken my MCAT, and I told myself that if I do not get far in PA school applications, I will start studying for the test come the fall. The masters program that I am apart of has a linkage with the medical school, so I will try to see what my options are when the time comes. All in all, both professions are excellent, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. Some honest advice and feedback would be helpful.

This was played by a lot of substitute teachers back in grade school.

There isn't a lot of spoilers but there is some but barely any legit spoilers passed the special exam post desert island arc.
Hey!
Finished reading up to the current Volume of the LN and wanted to share my thoughts on the series as a whole and where I think it may go from here.
I became aware of this season when season 1 first aired through social media and decided to watch the show up until the end of the first season. After it ended, I had to know more and so I looked and found out about the light novel. I was hooked ever since.
My thoughts on the first year were pretty good because the mystery of the school, the students and the MC kept me interested and it was very refreshing having a main character not allow himself to be bullied by his friends or act like a stereotypical virgin whenever a women would talk to him.
I found the beginning to do a very good job of keeping people on their toes as even though this is based in Highschool and has a battle royale based premise, it uses different games then your typical battle royal clone and allows you to basically view how it’s played through the eyes of the protag Kiyo.
Another thing that makes Kiyo interesting is that while he does boast internally that he knows everything on a level that would surpass some of the smartest college students in Japan, he does not immediately flaunt or trivialize the games to the point where there isn't any tension with each game.
Another thing I enjoy is that though it’s a team-based Battle royale, the fact that you get to know the leader of each team and they slowly grow to know Kiyo makes it interesting and sets up potential conflicts of interest before the first year is even halfway over. Personally, I like all of the other class leaders a good bit. I enjoy Ryuuen especially because he still remains true to his nature, but he takes advice from the person who beat him using just as morally questionable tactics as him and works to fine tune those morally questionable tactics so that he doesn't get beat because he is sloppy on his approach. I enjoy Ichinose battle with her "horrible" shop lifting past as much as an American can sympathize on something most over here would consider very minor in terms of criminality. While I can't obviously say it's just fine, I also feel at times it's overblown but again I'm American and at some point, we've all pocketed a pack of gum or added an extra item to our shopping cart we didn't ring up. She is a genuinely good person which is enjoyable when the other people portrayed as rivals are just as likely to stab you in the front as well as they would in the back. While the main goal is to graduate from Class A because somehow everything you ever need in life will somehow be given to you, the thought of making sure everyone makes it to the finish line is a good goal on its own knowing how easy it is for people to be expelled. I Don't mind Arisu but truthfully up until the most recent chapters, she was honestly hard to relate to even more than Kiyo because every time she's on screen she always has a smug grin as if everything is already taken care of and no matter what, she will come out on top. while its charismatic it can kinda drive off any sense of connection. I'm happy she starts getting humbled later on, but it takes a long time.
The series threw me for a loop when they focused heavily on Horikita in the beginning only to seemingly drop her to a side character for the rest of the arc until Kiyo dealt with Ryuuen. It honestly felt like she wasn't that important anymore, so I was pleasantly surprised how she slowly made her way back into the sub-protag role throughout the rest of the 2nd year. I don't really like Horikita compared to most of the other characters, but it speaks more highly to the other characters than anything wrong with her. My reasons for disliking her a little more than the other characters maybe stem from the fact we see more of her than anyone else and could have changed if she was more of a side character than one of the main focuses of the series. I do think that she gradually gets better as a character or more dynamic would be the better way to phrase it, I still think she is very flawed or at least she is written flawed, but the story seems to make things conveniently workout in her favor whenever she desperately needs it. I will say that I find that some of my favorite characters are legitimately side characters some of which have just recently showed up or showed up and went away for a long period of time after. Case in point Tsubaki from class 1-c she is basically kiyotaka but not overpowered like he is. We get a lot of Nanase in the beginning of the second-year arc but basically after the deserted Island exam she barely shows up anymore her split personality also just goes away. Kiryuuin Is also one of my favorites and she is sparingly gets in the story but when she does, she is very interesting and I'm sad that in a few more books she'll probably complete disappear from the story. I was never high on some characters like Kei, Nagumo, Matsushita ( mostly because why isn't she revealing this secret hidden talent that she said she had in the first year) and Manabu. I know Manabu might be a hot take, but I personally feel like his whole schtick about not telling Horkitia that he does love her but wants her to do her own thing for an entire year was so stupid because he just needed to call her to the student council office and literally have the conversation at ANY point in the year why wait till the end. I'm glad that he gives Kiyo a goal or maybe project he wants to complete before he meets Monabu again but other than that he was a blander Kiyotaka.
On that note a few things that have bothered me as the story has gone on,

1. I’m not going to say anything even though I could because then people would look at me weird. And we can’t have that?
   
2. I won't reveal where you came from even though it would be the most detrimental thing, I could do to you whether people believe it or not, but I won't because I never intended to use it as a tactic no matter what. why not?
   
3. You betrayed us and kicked our friend out of the school so I'm going to dropout so we lose but I will wait for a week or so to do it because I wanted to see the festival first. huh? Why wait for something stupid like that? You're already planning on Jeopardizing your whole class but decide to wait because of a festival that theoretically doesn't matter anymore. Not only that but the fact that you don't leak what happened that caused the friend to be expelled while you waited to expel yourself, further causing an issue for them when you are gone, just doesn't make any sense at all.
   
4. Horikita has lucked into some of the most micky mouse wins I've ever seen. Like I said before the plot sometimes seems to not make sense in a real word aspect but because the other can control how 120 kids always behave you can give bad reasons for something to work out and it always will because the plot needed it to. I really truly feel like that exam where Sakura was expelled was damn good all the way up until her best friend decided not to follow through with her plans to sink the class in retaliation. There was literally nothing anyone could have done to stop her or Kushida from sinking the class once the exam was over. I truly thought it would have been checkmate for the class and maybe you shift away from class 2-D the same way it feels like Kiyo is doing now and consider it a failed experiment. I would have LOVED it if she flunked the class even though Kiyo and Horikita did everything possible to bring them close to being class A. Actions have consequences, you expelled my friend and not the traitor and making excuses that it work out if Kushida complies from that point forward. OK fine I'll screw everyone like they screwed my good friend by dropping out willingly. Could you imagine the fallout knowing you failed even if you made the right decision in that moment. Basically, halfway through the second year 1 class has officially lost the race but just like Nagumo said, it's still possible to transfer out of a class to a different one so it doesn't mean the story ends for Kiyotaka or any of the students, but that class has lost.
   
5. Koenji is literally my least liked character in the series at this point and it's strictly based off what I THINK will happen in the future. The author has done absolutely zero to give backstory to Koenji and why he is so good at everything. Zilch. At least as unreasonable as it sounds, we know why Kiyo and the other white room students are so broken. The most we know about Koenji is that he is a blonde Adonis who studied in China and for some reason just laps everyone at everything. My thoughts on this are that if and when Kiyo decides to leave the class, Horikita and by proxy (Koenji) will be the final boss.
   

I don't like 4 the most and 5 the second most because it starts to make you doubt any haymakers are coming that legitimately don't feel like an asspull anymore. I can't be engrossed in the story if I feel like Horikita is going to be the final boss. I can't be engrossed in the story if I know that Horikita is going to use Koenji to actually make it hard for Kiyo to win that final round. I can't feel engrossed if I have a feeling one of the leaders is about to be expelled or completely sidelined for some completely stupid reason so that we can get this obvious conclusion started. That's why I can stand those last two points I didn't see Kiyo allowing Kei to get beat up and tortured multiple times to further his goals or plots. I didn't foresee a not so random secret agent being planted in the school and immediately striking Kiyo while he's talking with Arisu the daughter of the man he just ousted. I didn't foresee Kiyo convincing one of his would be rivals to come back to the school because it would be a little boring if that class completely fell apart without him to lead it. I didn't foresee Kiyotaka making as many "friends" the way he has since the start of series and most of those relationships feel natural which is why it has been fun following Kiyo and the people he encounters.
Overall, I'm happy with this series and it has made me look for more LNs to fill in my time while we wait for more to come out.
I'd be happy to hear your thoughts on the series as a whole as well.
Tldr; I like almost everything but the things that I dislike are becoming more prevalent in the story than in the beginning.

I've come to a dark, and difficult realization this last week, and ever since I've been really tired and operating on autopilot. I don't feel safe talking to anyone I know about this, so I'm coming to you, internet strangers. Every second of downtime that I get, I go back to this thought, and it's weighing on me.
But first, some back story. This is going to seem totally unrelated, but just take the ride with me real quick.
Although in many ways I lived a privileged life growing up, my parents and younger brother were all emotionally, verbally, financially, and often times physically abusive. There were times when I feared for my life. But perhaps the worst of it was that they were careful. They carefully built a reputation for me--clumsy, strong-willed, dishonest. It was a reputation that I internalized and grew to think was true, up until I had my daughter. Now, she's nearly three, and I am finally breaking my family's hold on me. Permanently.
Like most abuse victims, I tried to leave them several times. It was my baby's father who taught me how to leave for good, and who taught me the importance of severing ties permanently. When I first left him, I needed financial support from my parents, and was grateful to have it. I know so many victims don't have that and can't get out because of it. And, while they were the lesser of two evils, they've proved in the last few years over and over that they are still, in fact, an evil. And one I need out of my life. My dad got me a job when I was well enough to work again after I left, but it only gave him more access to me. And I let him. I'm a grown adult woman. At any moment I could have had the courage and the strength to just walk away. No amount of perceived financial security (because relying on them is not financial security) is worth what I've gone through emotionally on behalf of him and this 'job'. But now, after years of moving over and over again and not feeling safe or secure, my daughter and I have housing that I won't have to worry about losing for the foreseeable future.
I have provided for her a roof over her head, but more than that, a place to grow in and call her own. A place where she can put posters on her wall and have a playground in the back yard and raise a puppy. It's beautiful, and it means that I know that I can now pursue a career that better aligns with the schedule, work-life balance, and emotional fulfillment that she and I need to better our lives. In other words, I've put in my two weeks' at that job so that I can find something more sustainable and sever my ties with my family closer to for-good.
I think that this is why I've had this sudden realization about my daughter's dad. It has been an incredibly emotional time. The universe seems to be throwing tests at me left and right, as if to say, are you sure? Will you really go through with it this time?
And I will. I have faith in myself as a mother more so than I have ever had faith in myself as a person. I know what my daughter needs me to do, so I'll do it. I know where I want to be so that she can grow and thrive, so I will go there.
But it has reminded me of the person I was, who did not know this, and who did not feel so sure.
When I first met my ex, he said and did all of the right things. I was a newly appointed executive in a male-dominated industry, and I was young and single in a conservative area where any indication that I was not wearing a chastity belt read as an invitation to pursue to every man I worked with or around. I was fresh out of another abusive relationship, still repeating the cycle my family had taught me, and was vulnerable.
And he played the part of my savior very well. We were together two years, and I supported him through COVID and losing his high-paying engineer job only to one day, suddenly, discover that virtually everything about him was a lie. Not only was he cheating on me--heavily, while I was at work and he was pretending to freelance, with several women including some I thought were my friends--but he had no college degree, much less a master's degree in engineering, and he had never had the job he allegedly lost. He was a con-artist with two children by two different women, a separate fiancee he'd been with since high school and kept trying to bring into our lives, and so much more. He was using his older, disabled brother's ssn at the job I had gotten him to avoid paying child support. He had even lied about how his parents died.
I'm not even sure I knew his legal name.
To be clear, I found out about the cheating first. That was it. The rest of it, I'm sure I had vague suspicions of. But I had trusted him. If something was off, then he probably had a sound explanation and it wasn't my business. I was young and stupid, and he was still acting perfectly normal.
I broke up with him, then, just to find out a month later that despite using birth control and condoms religiously, and despite having more than one prognosis that I would never conceive let alone carry a child, I was pregnant. At the time, I was no contact with my entire family and had been further isolated from my friends by my then-boyfriend. Plus, the company I worked for was showing signs of selling--my job was by no means secure, and especially not so because they had a history of firing pregnant women in my position exactly two months after their return from maternity leave.
The point was, I was desperate, and I was scared, and I didn't know that the father of my child was a monster, so I tried to make it work, thinking that my daughter, surely, needed a father figure. And for his part, he seemed remorseful. He promised to go to counseling and agreed to certain conditions and, again, said all of the right things.
And then he started drinking. And screaming. And demanding. And...threatening, and then doing.
But at that point, I was alone. I was halfway through a complicated pregnancy that made me incredibly ill with small town doctors who were gaslighting me and not helping me, the writing was on the wall at work and I was enduring slander and drama there, and I had no one and nowhere else to turn. So I pushed through. I tried to leave him when I was about 22 weeks along. I enlisted the help of my friend, who supported me, and I thought I was home free.
But that night was one of the most horrific nights of my life. The only person I've been able to tell about it was my lawyer, a year later, when I went in to make sure my daughter was protected. By the way, he's not in either of our lives at all and will never be. I have and will continue to do everything in my power to keep him away from us. Not that he could find us if he tried.
Things only got worse after that night. and at some point. I told a trusted friend and my mom (breaking no contact) that I intended to leave. Safely, and in time. I started freelancing again and looking for other jobs, and I played house the best I could to keep myself and baby safe. I ended up being ordered to go on bed rest two weeks early, And then I gave birth, and my daughter and I both almost died.
It was horrific, and traumatic, and sent me into a terrible spiral. It was all I could do to care for my daughter. But it became very quickly apparent that I was running out of time to get her out. And this is where the realization comes in.
His alcoholism and verbal and emotional abuse were increasing in frequency and intensity. He was also growing more violent--even if he was just punching holes in doors. But he was also...weird with our daughter. I did everything I could not to have to leave him alone with her, and she was only left with him twice.
Once, for an hour, because I had to go into work and handle something in the middle of the day. He left my 1mo infant daughter lying, asleep, on her belly, on a very high bed with loose blankets and pillows, alone in our apartment while he moved something from one apartment to another. I have no idea for how long.
I tried to breastfeed, at first, and there were issues with that so she was waking up often and hard to put back to sleep. We later found out she wasn't getting enough milk because of a tongue tie and started supplementing with formula at two weeks. I have heavy suspicions that I was also underproducing because of stress and emotional duress. One night, he was frustrated because even though I was sleeping in the living room and taking care of the baby while he slept in the bed, he couldn't sleep, and blamed me for being an incompetent mother. He took her from me, and put her to sleep with him in bed. I knew he was drunk. I went in to check on her--I was anxious, I had done tons of research on safe sleep. He saw me, screamed at me, and then blamed me for waking her up.
Later, he would try to put rice cereal in her bottle and make those "knockout bottles" that are incredibly dangerous when I wasn't looking. There were a number of weird incidents like this which he chalked up to being older than me, and being the way he'd raised his other two babies. And back then I really thought it was just all apart of the abuse--targeted at me.
We got out when she was five months old and today she's a sweet, happy, healthy kid.
But, and honestly maybe this should have occurred to me before, I can not shake the heaviness of the conclusion that remembering all of these incidents has brought me to; he wanted her to die. I mean, I guess in a roundabout way he expressed this. He started berating me for not getting an abortion almost immediately after I passed the legal time to get one done where I'm from (they're completely illegal now but were not at the time). I'm not anti-abortion, by any means, but it felt like it came out of nowhere. He also refused to have any part in naming her or preparing for her arrival--even in raising her. I always thought that these were just manipulation tactics. That he was just saying malicious things to get under my skin.
Now that I'm writing this, I also remember one of the last texts he sent to me over a year ago, alleging that he had shot and killed someone before. It wasn't an active threat to me. It was just part of a psychosis spiral where he was trying to explain that we could live safely with him in his new apartment even though it wasn't in a safe area or something, and so I really just discarded it. I didn't see him anymore. He didn't know where we lived. He was only allowed to contact me still because I was building a case against him. It didn't seem like it mattered.
Now? Today? I think that if I hadn't left with her when I did, we might both be dead already. More than that, I think that if I had not had her and I had ended up back with him--or back in another abusive relationship with anyone else--that I would certainly be dead. I might have been the one to physically take us both and leave, but she saved me first.
So that's it. That's what I've been struggling with. And I haven't really fully processed what that means for me, yet, except that I've made another appointment with my lawyer to take additional safety measures for my daughter. But emotionally? I'm not sure. I'll have to sit with this, and I just needed to say it somewhere. If you read all of this, thank you.
tldr; i left my ex when my daughter by him was 5 months old, and now she's nearly 3 years old and we are no contact with him, but i've recently been hit with memories of actions he took when she was an infant that lead me to believe he may have been subconsciously or even actively trying to take her life

I (f18) have never had something like this happen before. For starters over the last year I’ve gained a very new sense of self confidence, and suddenly a lot more guys have shown an interest in me, though I truthfully am awful at picking up on the signs. But the last few months I have found myself in a tight spot. I am a strict monogamous and feel wrong about talking to more than one guy at a time, but I just don’t know what to do. Both men are great in their own ways. Guy A (M22) I met on a trip to New York, it was like a scene out of a story book, he flirted with me a little and gave me free food from his food cart. I kicked myself for not getting his contact so the next day when I ran into him I got the courage to ask for his instagram. We have been talking daily since. The issue is English is not his first language, so sometimes our conversation are limited by such. There will be 2-3 day periods where he sends hearts and kisses, and then 2-3 day periods where all I get is a good morning. He lives rather far and is a solid four years older. But I would hate to give up on what seems so unique and special, especially when it felt so surreal. The other guy (M18) I see daily at school. We are both going into the same field of work and will be headed to collage in the same area. I used to have a sort of teasing bond with him, always messing with him and playing jokes about his height and color blindness. But it seems as years passed he changed at some point he was no longer a boy but a man. It’s small things he does that make me smile. But I would hate to ruin that friendship. There is a lot more I could say about both parties, but I wish to keep this as anonymous as possible. I just don’t know what my next step is.

I look at you from across the room, Instantly feel the urge to talk to you. One more thing I'm thinking about, Why am I not sitting next to you? I'm so jealous of that blonde girl, Cute blue dress with white ribbons.
I can't help it, I feel this way deeply, I know I should be grateful, not angry. I get to live in the same town, get to call you ever since lockdown, get to see the same purple sky As you, every single cold night.
You're literally a rockstar, Carrying around your guitar. And when you start playing, I immediately start shaking. Shivers running down my spine, I can't believe it, this is real life!
I can't help it I'm taking pictures, I can't help it I'm screaming every word, I can't help it if you're like this, You're unbelievable, actually...
I love the way your curly hair looks, It's giving 1950s yearbooks. Imagine if we had lived then, Would have we still met? No social media to stalk you, No close friends story I could post To which you'd react and call, Not knowing I only let YOU, see it all.
All the bad you've been put through, I wanna hit the people who've hurt you. I'll literally fight them one by one, Then hide their stuff in my backyard. And don't worry the cops won't find me or if they do, it will still be worth it.
I can tell you this one thing for sure, I won't let you cry for no more. I don't want any tears running down, On your cheeks, through your dimples. (Unless of course they're happy tears)
Everytime I write in my journal, I can't help but feel fortunate To write down your name, 'cuz Girl, you never fail to amaze me!
School bells ring, classes end, I go up to you and you pull me in. We say goodbye, see you next week, The weekend's here, oh how great! It of course makes me happy. But I can't help overthinking. Did I do something wrong? What if my spell comes off? Which I've only used a few times before, When I wanted to make you call.
You always put a smile on my face, I love how you smell and the roses in you hair. The adorable way you laugh, Whild I tell you my silly poems. Gosh, I love hanging out with you! I know you'll shine eternally.
You always make me feel great, Because you're just so amazing. Why are you so nice to me? Like actually, why do I deserve this? I don't, not at all, I know that, It unfortunately might soon end...
Until then, I want you to know, I love you with all my heart, I will forever and ever do, Because I've never seen anyone like you.

Sorry this might be long and this is my 1 real post here. But basically my nephew we will call A (16M) has had a crappy hand felt to him over the last few years, and he now is just existing and not living. I have him in therapy, he refuses medication, he is a good size boy so I can’t really force him to do anything… he stands almost 6ft and over 200lbs, I am 5’3” and 165lbs… he is not fat by no means. But a big strong boy. Back story…. He was adopted at birth from my sister’s bff’s daughter. But was not told he was adopted until he was 13yo. He has known his birth mom and his bio family including 1/2 siblings his entire life. Then at 14 his Dad passed away suddenly, and then 16 months later his Mom died suddenly. She I his Aunt who he has never lived in the same state with got custody based on the parents wills. We have an ok relationship, considering we only have seen each other a few times a year, but I love him more than anything. I have been an empty nester for several years (my only child 38f). So after 2 months of figuring out how him & his 29M brother we will call him J could stay in his current state was determined it was not cost effective. J lives where I do many states away. So I packed him up and brought him home. J bought a house and A wanted to live with J and it is in the same city, so I agreed. While living with me he did not want to got to school fought him every morning, caused so much stress that my spouse was a jerk to him everyday. And A did nothing to help us, he did not do homework, slept played games, and argued about getting up and doing anything responsible, very disrespectful and absolutely shut down. I got him in Boxing as well to help him with a way to let out his aggression along with the counseling. But we are at our wits end. He is skipping school to the point today I called the SRO at school and had the officer come to his home to pick him up and take him, luckily by the time he got there he was up and in J’s car so J took him. He won’t pass his classes, doesn’t care if he fails, doesn’t care about getting a license, doesn’t care if we ground him take everything away he will just sleep. Won’t shower, change clothes. I am at a loss, J is ready to throw in the towel, I am not, he is too important to me to let him throw his life away. I know he has a lot going on and I know that until I came into the picture he was not allowed mental health because he mom thinks it is a weakness or a joke. But All I do is want to cry. I want to coddle him, but he is not the cuddly type and I cannnot reward his bad behavior.
HELP!!! Please Help!

Context i’m a homeschooler who plays basketball in a Christian league and i play Center on my team. As i’m approaching my senior season i’m faced with a choice to stay with my team with all my friends or play on a real highschool team and play against real talent. I hate playing center and if i played with a new team i’d be a Gaurd and i’d play more games, i never feel like i get appreciated by my team either, we held an awards banquet and i didn’t get a single one despite being the only one on the team to make first team All-State, plus average the most blocks rebounds and highest FG% and only averaging 1 point less than the leading scorer on my team. Despite all my hard work i don’t really feel noticed or appreciated by my coach or team. If i went to a real school i’d have a fresh start and have a chance to let my hard work show. ANY THOUGHTS?

I also played The Night Does Not Belong To God when I arrived at school today, then p layed Euclid when leaving :>

I play the game on a gaming laptop(I know, not the best way to game but needed a laptop for school) Specs: Intel i7-8750H 16GB RAM NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1060
The game used to run perfectly fine until recently, but I now get drops from 60 to 5/10 fps every 10 seconds. Making the game almost play like a slideshow.
The worst part is that it doesn't matter what level of quality I play on, the fps stay the same.
Other games don't have this frame drop problem, but Fallout 4 also lags a bit(but no where near the amount 76 does)
I am desperate for a solution, all drivers are up to date and working, I've tried the standard .ini fixes, I've turned off vsync in nvidia graphics settings and followed many guides, but it just won't work.
If anyone has had the same problems and found a solution please enlighten me :')

Before I explain I just want to say that I was in primary school when this happened. I would have been anywhere from 8-11 years old. I hit puberty young (when I got my period I thought I was dying) and I had no idea about sex at all. My sisters and I had been through a disgusting amount of trauma prior to this happening and I’ve struggled with SEVERE ocd and anxiety for as long as I can remember. My older sister is 18 months older than me and my younger sister is 2 years younger. I’m not sure if any of this information is relevant but I thought it might be helpful to whoever may be able to help.
I was watching what I thought was an age appropriate film at home with my sisters. In the film, a couple were rolling around on a bed kissing each other. They were fully clothed, but we were curious because we had never seen anything like it before. We played a game similar to “Mums and Dads” where my older sister and I would choose who was going to be the boy and who was going to be the girl and act out what we saw on the TV. It started out as kissing. I can remember my sister touching me inappropriately and getting me to do it back to her, but that only happened once. The kissing turned into acting out having sex with each other. We had our clothes on most of the time, and I can’t remember it happening on a regular basis. I think it just happened randomly every now and again. It felt good at the time, and we had seen adults do it so we just assumed that it was a normal thing to do. I only recently told my family about it because I used to feel disgusted every time I thought about it. I know this happened between my older sister and my younger sister too but that’s not my story to tell. I didn’t understand anything about sex properly until I was about thirteen, so I wouldn’t have realised at 8–11 years old that what was happening was wrong. I’ve been through an unbelievable amount of trauma which I think contributes to what happened. It was just sexual curiosity which was taken too far but I’m not sure what to do about what happened. My sister apologised but it wasn’t anybody’s fault. I want to get on with her but it’s hard too. I looked up to her as a role model and thought I was doing the right thing but I obviously wasn’t. If anyone has any advice or has been through anything similar please let me know ☺️