I will try and put in as much detail as possible, I've never posted on reddit so idk if I'm doing this right.
During GCSE’S I failed maths, so I had no choice but to study health and social care level 3 extended diploma, I did not want to do it at all nevertheless, I did it and got very high grades (Distinction*, Distinction, Distinction).
Health and social care allowed me to progress to university and get me a career in healthcare (duh) like, midwifery, nursing, paramedics, physiotherapy, speech and language therapy etc. I decided to study speech and language therapy at uni because the other options did not interest me,I did not want to work at a hospital, do overnight shifts, I’ve heard so many negatives about those jobs and the pay is not enough, so I thought I was choosing the best option however, after a year I dropped out because I simply hated it.
Since I dropped out in 2021 my best bet was to get a job/experience so I applied to countless jobs, jobs I am clearly qualified for, but I’ve never managed to get a job. All my work experience is voluntary (working in schools and a care home), I’ve called up places, posted my cv on indeed, got it reviewed etc. I’ve handed in my CV in person at a boba shop and I saw the manager threw it on the side without reading it. I am still applying to jobs until this day but all I ever get is rejections or no response at all. I have never gotten an interview for any job.
I’m in this position, embarrassed and behind my peers, (i've heard comparison is the thief of joy but i cant help it) just like that 2 years have passed and I have achieved nothing. I haven’t progressed. I haven’t done anything, I have no money, no experience, nothing. I am clearly not doing anything with my time. I haven't found my "passion" (God, i hate that word), haven't found my motivation and I don't know HOW to either. I thought since i like skincare maybe i could do something like an aesthetician or dermatologist but i hate needles and im not smart like that. However, I managed to find a charity job to volunteer for however, I haven’t started yet (I will very soon). Apart from this, I don’t know what to do, I want to go to university but nothing interests me, or at least my interests don’t have very good success rate or a high salary, especially in the U.K. I don’t know why nothing interests me. Maybe the purpose of life isnt to get a job or get a degree but i dont know what else to do and to be quite frank, i need money, i cant get experiences or travel or buy food or a bus ticket without money. I want a high salary and I want to be financially independent and enjoy the finer things in life I feel like it's taboo saying that but honestly that’s MY goal, that’s what will make me happy or secure at least. I want to be an educated person so at least I have education to fall back on but I don’t know what caree route to go down. People keep saying don't go to university because it's not as important as it was 10/20 years ago etc. However, I'm thinking of going to college and do an access course in law which is for a year, and then apply to law in university but im not sure? People keep saying go out and get experience but nobody is willing to give me opportunities paid or unpaid and I’m feeling so hopeless, especially because the job market is in shambles right now. I really want to do well in life, I really want to succeed, my parents are counting on me to do well and I want to make them and myself proud and make something of myself. I know people say your 20’s are confusing, people say to invest in stocks or crypto, post on social media and earn money but the success rates are low, I’m just not lucky. I don’t have a glimpse of hope, no ideas nothing. I pray and pray and pray and try to look for things but everything is so depressing and boring and it doesn’t help living in the u.k because quite literally everything is grey and dull. I don’t have any interesting crazy hobbies to fall back to. Please give me some guidance/ help/ recommendations

Hi guys I need some advice , got given a letter by Churchill recovery solutions. They stated that they serve us a notice of their intent to apply for a right of entry warrant to our premises to install essential metering works for electricity supply for next door. We are both commercial properties and are both open for business , I do not understand why they need to try to get a warrant for our premises to do the work and not next door itself. We are not the debtors and as I understand the previous Tennant of next door owed a couple thousand in bills. But none of that have anything to do with me. Is this even legal ? Also the letter was sent to us addressing as occupier , no name addressed and said we need to challenge the warrant in court ?

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks, and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago).

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel like surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks, and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago).

Long story! TW: death
TLDR: In 2021 my mom died, then in 2023, my closest friend died. Between then, I fell in love with my closest high school friend, it didn't work out. Now my high school best friend wants me to be the maid of honor to her wedding but my deceased best friend hated her because of how she treated me. She hid a relationship from me the year before. Looking for perspective/advice on how to best move forward.
So I'm a 27 yr old female, currently wrapping up my degree, all while recently coming out of the top 2 tragic events of my life. In late 2020, my Mother got diagnosed with terminal illness. I took off grad school and went home to be her primary caretaker. These were the most profound 6 months of my life. Her and I always got along, but she raised me to be independent, I left home at 18. This time brought us together closer than I thought possible, and for that I'm forever grateful.
My Dad cheated on her during the last months of her life. I still haven't fully forgiven my father for abandoning us during that time. He was completely absent, emotionally and physically. Never in my life did i have so much stress on my shoulders, but knowing that I was able to provide her the environment to pass in peace means everything to me. As crazy as it was, it has also made me more grateful than ever for my close friends since my family is dysfunctional.
During that time I basically lost contact with everyone except my closest friends. My high school best friend, Liz, was one of them. We always kept in touch throughout the years. Looking back, it was always me who was reaching out, always me who was going to visit her place, and I didn't mind the amount of one sided effort because she was always glad to see me and we always enjoy our time together. Liz lost her sister when we were 16. So, during the time I was taking care of my mom, she offered me some pieces of advice that I took to heart immensely. Her words are what kept me together during some of the toughest moments of that time, and although I had always looked up to her, since those moments I value her deeply. She's also one of the only friends I have who even met my mom.
I made a great friend in my first year of grad school, Ali. We clicked as besties immediately. He had lost his father early on in graduate school, and so when I lost my mother, he one of the few people I felt really understood me. Before and after I came back to graduate school, he was my anchor.ll
Over dinner with Ali in spring of 2022, I said I think I'm in love with Liz, and it wasn't the first time I'd had those thoughts over the years. Ali gave me practical advice: asking if I'm sure, what I'm going to do about it if anything, telling me I plan as if I'm expecting her to say no, and I totally agreed. I told him I wasn't even sure if I was making it all up in my head or not. Liz and I saw each other about once a year since high school, and maybe I was overhyping our perceived chemistry.
I ended up going home for a cousin's wedding and stayed at Liz's apartmemt for most of it. Liz has pretty much always been in back to back relationships since high school. It'd been a few months since Ali and I started talking about my feelings towards her. I told him everything about her, and by the end of the summer I had also told all my local friends, who supported me throughout all this.
Prior to that week, in a previous conversation, Liz said she wanted to end her then current relationship soon. But during that week, I just wanted to get my head straight so I just focused on having fun. I felt more sure of my feelings for her after our time together. At one point we talked about what we're looking for in long term partners, and I even felt like I fit the bill of what she was describing. On the last day before going to back to grad school though, she called me drunk and told me she wanted to confess something. I felt my heart stop, but then she said she wanted to marry her other best friend/roommate, Emily, in some years. I asked her for more info, but she just said she's drunk and hung up.
Emily and Liz had grown up together but Emily had moved out the area during high school and that's when I originally met Liz. Point being, I only know Emily through Liz. They had been living together since college, Emily also came out later in life, and I guess I thought that if something were to happen between them it would have already happened as they've been single under the same roof before. I also felt like me and Liz had a type of chemistry in our interactions that I never saw between her and Emily. After that week, I go back and tell Ali about the phone conversation. He tells me that it sounds like one of those "if we're both single by x age let's get married" type deals. After all, Liz was still dating someone else still, so I really just put it in the back of my mind.
Come Fall of 2023, around October, Liz and her previous partner split up. I asked Emily if her and Liz were getting married after all. Emily said that she didnt know if any that was serious, but, that if anything happens, that I'd be "the first to know".
We're all into cosplay. It's a hobby I got into through Liz. There is one convention that happens around valentines day every year. Liz asked me if I would go with her & her friend group, and I knew right away I wanted to use the oppertunity to confess to her. I figured until she tells me otherwise, I have a shot.
For context, anytime I would call Liz between the previous summer until I confessed, I would make an effort to pask her if she was interested in anyone else, even asking if she had lingering feelings for any exes from time to time. She never indicated even the slightest interest towards anyone (other than the drunk call). I have a side hustle in astrology, so a month or two after Liz's initial break up I told on our mutual friends I'd give them a free reading if they told me anything they know about Liz's love life. They said they didn't know anything, but that she always speaks highly of me, and rooted me on when I told her I'm confessing to Liz. I also told another one of our mutual friends, who spends more time with Liz, and they also cheered me on when I informed them of my intentions.
I took this confession very seriously. I thought my chances were looking good when not even a minute after new years, she called me. We went on about how much we mean to each other & how long we've known each other. Unfortunately, she forgot all about my birthday less thab 3 weeks later and that crushed me. It was really embarassing for me, becuase I always make sure to remember her birthday and have been sending her cards and gifts for years.
I started worrying that I had been putting this all in my head. In the weeks leading up to the convention, I asked her straight up what was going on: if her and Emily are dating. She told me "it's complicated" and said it's easier to talk about it person. I knew at that moment that my odds of her liking me were not good. She wouldn't tell me any more about it. I decided I was going through with the confession anyways, just for my own closure. I had been gearing up to this all year.
I made her a personalized valentines day gift box. I put things I knew she'd like in it, and 2 necklaces. One was one of those "besties" necklaces that comes in 2 peices for if she rejected me, and the other was a nice one with the first letter of her name on it. I had picked out a really beautiful card I thought she'd like when I visited Japan earlier that year, a country she wants to visit someday, and I wrote a heartfelt note telling her I love her, and we should talk about it. The convention happens the weekend after valentines day. I was going to fly in on thr 15th. I wanted to get the package to her on the holiday and then talk with her the next day, ideally.
Well... the weekend was really something. Her and Emily recently moved to a new apartment building so my package was left at the bottom of the stairs in the complex. The 1st night, I quietly snuck downstairs and moved the package into the apartment. The next day she sees it, and she yells "Hey Emily! OP got us something for valentines day!" I panicked and told her "its really just for you, you shouldn't open it now'". She took my panicking as me being bashful, insisted that its fine, her and Emily sat down in the living room to open it. I immediately took the card from her and threw it into her room, telling her not to read it.
Emily was visibly upset. She was apologizing for not getting Liz anything for valentines day. Liz loved everything I got her, which was sweet, and I think the bff necklace made the gift pass as nothing too suspicious in the moment. Emily kept saying how she needed to get Liz something now, and I just started texting my friend Ali figuring out what to do. He told me to talk to Emily one on one and find out what's up. So Emily and I go to run an errand together, and while at the car wash, I ask her if they are dating. She pauses and says "I don't know, I hope so" to which I almost screamed in frustration. I asked what she meant but did not get any more of a clear answer.
During the weekend, one of Liz's closest exes & I ended up talking. I asked them if they knew if anything was going on between Liz and Emily. They told me "no way" and laughed. When I told them that I wanted to confess to Liz, they said that they see me bring out the best in her, and that they're rooting for me. Liz, Emily & I shared a bed, with Liz in the middle. I usually hug my cat or a pillow at night and reflexively woke up having my hand on her waist. She teased me for it in the morning and I felt terrible/think I pushed a boundary too far.
We get back to Liz & Emily's apartment on Sunday. Liz finally reads the letter I wrote her while Emily is out and we have a talk. Liz tells me that she's sorry, that her and Emily are dating, but thanked me while apologizing. I was hurt and sort of pissed off by the whole thing because I dont understand what was so hard about telling me that over text weeks ago. I went outside to walk it off, Ali was the first person I called and cried to. It was a long night. The next day Liz had to work, so Emily took me to the airport. Emily seemed oblivious to my feelings for Liz she actually thanked me for being such a good friend and bringing them (Liz & Emily) together. I guess all my meddling got them to make it official. I told her I'm happy for them and said our goodbyes.
I had a lot of pent up emotions towards Liz following the trip. I typed out a timeline of events into a Google doc, because my confession clearly caught her off guard but I wanted her to know how much thought I had put into it.
She told me she'd call me to talk things over more, but then I didn't hear from her for an entire week. No text or anything. When I reached out, she told me she had simply forgot. I was hurt, but I appreciated the honesty. All that came out of this conversation was that we both value our friendship above all else. I told her I'd need time to get over this. She said she understood, but she then said that she was mad at me for "invading her privacy" by asking our mutual friends about her love life. I told her I find it weirder that she didnt tell anyone in her life about her feelings/relationship with Emily. I think it's normal to talk to your friends about personal things like that, she thinks otherwise. Talking with Ali and all my other friends after, they all told me they think she was crazy for not telling me or anyone else about their relationship. I told them I'm definitely taking a step back from our friendship. I was upset that she didnt feel like sharing any thoughts on of her situation with Emily to me over the past year. I probably called her once a month and check in with her, so I felt blindsided overall.
Fast forward to the end of the summer in 2023. One of Liz's exes, the one I spoke to during the convention, and I start casually flirting back and forth for a few weeks. This is Liz's ex from 2017, from over 4 relationships ago, for context. This is not a recent ex, and they're still good friends with each other so I didn't see a problem with it.
My sister was getting married over the summer. I had originally asked Liz to by my plus one before I confessed to her. She agreed, but I formally invited her and Emily to come since Liz does mean a lot to me and I wanted her there after it all.
When I looked out at the crowd during the wedding I didn't see them there. They showed up late, missed the ceremony, and when I walked them back to their car at the end of the night her ex's name came up organically in conversation. I told her I find them attractive, and I asked her for insight on them.
Liz flipped out. She said we wouldn't be a good match, but wouldn't elaborate why, and even Emily was joining in saying it's a bad idea without further reasoning. I just let it go, but I ended up staying with them later in the week for 2 nights. One night 1, Emily informed me that her and Liz were going to take a shower together and they did. I dont know why she felt the need to announce it to me, but I just took a long walk to ignore it. I dont know any couple that does that when having company over. The next day I asked Liz about her ex again, and told her it's nothing serious but wanted to know why she wouldnt tell me anything. Again, Liz was dodgy, she still seemed mad about the whole thing and said she didn't want to talk about it.
Here's where things take a turn. I get a phone call from her about a week later. She says that i was being "inconsiderate" of "her feelings" by talking to her ex, that I should know how bad that looks, and espeically considering "where I started" the year I "should know better". I was pissed off, becuase I don't think she considered my feelings at all that year. I something slong the lines of "What? You mean when I confessed to you 6 months ago? What do you want me to do! I've been dating around all summer, I've been trying to move on, and your ex knows that, so no one is left in the dark here. We're just casually talking it's not that serious." She called me back some days later, apparently after talking to her Dad she realized she was being jealous, and apologized. I said its alright, and I didn't ask for any clarification on what she meant. But by the end of it, she said that I really am her closest friend. She also said she wants to do better about opening up about her life.
Fast forward to December 3rd 2023. Ali dies, my whole world is flipped upside down... again. He was the closest friend I had.
All of my close friends were reaching out to offer me their condolences and support. I hear nothing from Liz all month. I was very hurt, because she definitely heard the news, liking a post I made about it. But she never reached out. I figured she must be going through her own thing, and tried not to think about it too hard. Well around the 19th she called me and we started catching up like normal. Key word: normal. She didn't indicate that anything big was happening in her life, at all (spoilers: there was!). When I brought up Ali passing, she apologized for not reaching out sooner and admitted that she forgot to, but meant to. I told he it's fine, I understand. Honestly though, that hurt. We talk for a grand total of 10 minutes. I asked her what's new, how things are going, how Emily is doing, all the usual. She says everything is buisness as usual.
Now 3 days later I get a text from her. She sent me a zoomed in picture of a ring in a box. No context, no follow up text, her hand/face is not in the photo, it looks like a Google stock image for all I, or anyone I've shown the photo to, can tell. It was the middle of the day and I just assumed she didn't mean to send it to me. Well around 5pm I open up Twitter and I see Emily posting that they're ENGAGED! I felt my heart drop. I didn't know what to think. Why wouldn't she bring this up when we talked 3 days ago? Why didn't she call today? Why was I finding out through social media?
I texted her congratulations, and threw in a 'why didn't you tell me!' She said she was waiting "for me to reply to the pic" that she sent. She then texts me "You're the maid of honor, just so you know". I was hurt beyond words. Espeically as her 'best friend', I don't understand why she wouldn't have said something to me earlier. I still had lingering feelings for her, but I support their relationship and want her to be happy in all.
However, I couldn't believe she would think that I would be OK with any of this. Considering that less than a year ago she didn't even know if she was dating her fiancé. I can't imagine proposing to someone without consulting my best friend. If any other friend told me they're getting engaged to someone they only dated for ~10 months at our age I'd be concerned. I get that they have lived together for a while, but romantic relationships are a whole different world in my view. My friends were even more pissed on my behalf, asking me if I even want to go to the wedding, or keep being her friend, considering the way she's been treating me.
I told her I wanted to call and talk about detials. She said she would call me the next day, but she never did. So I end up calling her a few days later on Christmas eve. After initial congrats, I started grilling her on why she wouldn't say anything to me as nicely as I could.
She said it's not her fault, that it was a spontaneous, spur of the moment decision. I told her you don't just a ring from nowhere. She said she was walking in the mall and saw this gorgeous ring on sale and just had to get it. She proposed to Emily while they were making dinner. I honestly felt mad on Emily's behalf, because if I knew my fiance got a ring on sale and proposed to me without much thought, I would be upset. She said that she was going to wait, but then decided it'd be better to ask before Emily went home for the holiday. I told her I needed to have a serious word with her, because none of this was OK with me.
I said that while I want to support her and be there on her wedding day, I can't believe she'd ask me (or tell me, really) to be the maid of honor considering I confessed my undying love for her less than a year ago. She said it's because I'm her best friend and that just pissed me off more. I told her that considering she didn't give me an inch of thought regarding Ali's death, forgot my birthday,, and didn't tell me she was going to propose, on what grounds are we best friends? I said I can't be the maid of honor, at least not right now, I told her I need a break away from all this. This sucked to hear right before the holiday. She said she understands and "not to worry" about it. I laughed and told her I'm still not 100% over her how, could she say something like that? But I told her it'll be fine.
She slowly got more upset as she realized how shitty of a friend she's been. Liz said she didn't think about it, she doesn't know why she didn't reach out to me sooner, that she's sorry for not telling me things and that she's so sorry.
When I asked her when they were looking to get married, she also said that they're not getting married for another 3 to 4 years. That hurt me badly too, because if that's true then why the hell did she have to propose now? I just felt like this was just a very raw wound to get carelessly re opened by my 'best friend', and to know that she has never been considerate enough to ever think about me made it that much worse.
It's been 6 months since. She called me on my birthday this year, with Emily on the phone too, and told me how she threw out the valentines day box I initially gave her. I don't think I expected her to keep it, but I don't know why she'd tell me this. They both said happy birthday and I got off the phone as quick as possible.
Since then it's been silent. I'm looking for advice on how to move forward from here. I'm not really sure where to put her in my life. She called me her best friend but has no regard for me, and although I miss her badly I'm starting to think that I have to let this friendship go. Her birthday is coming up soon, I usually call her but I don't know what I'd say to her right now. Since Ali passed I've been struggling to connect with people, and I'm lonlier than I ever thought possible. I could use a best friend again, but I think she'll hurt me again. Ali hated her after hearing about how she showered with Emily when I stayed over, and said I should forget about her until she apologizes/changes. I'm struggling to find peace on everything.
Do I even go to this eventual wedding? Her parents love me and know me well. Her Mom joked about us getting married when we were younger & says things like 'You're the favorite' when I'm talking to them. I'm scared they'll ask me why I'm not the maid of honor if I go. I doubt she's told them anything. I don't even know what she's told Emily. There is no date set yet, so I'm really just fretting and thinking in circles. Thank you to anyone who bothered to read the whole thing. It's taken me months just to be able to coherently journal it all out, lol. Saving up money for therapy.

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel like surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks, and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago).

I'm considering filing for bankruptcy. I'm 27 and am on-track to finish my bachelor's degree and start my career next year. I had a number of health problems at my first college straight out of high school, and I gathered a decent amount of credit card debt paying medical and transportation expenses during that time. I had to take a long break before getting back into education, and I haven't been in a stable-enough position to pay off the debt I incurred ten years ago, so it's been accruing interest this whole time. I've now maxed out both of my credit cards and am around $20k in cc debt. Any money I make from my PT job has been going to living expenses (including medical expenses), and I haven't been able to make the monthly payments for a few months. Even if I could, the amount I could pay would only go towards the interest, not the principle.
I anticipate having a well-paying job after college - well-paying enough to pay off my CC debt in a reasonable amount of time... I've been living on a budget all my life so I'm not worried about going without during the first couple years of my career just to catch up. But that won't happen for another year, and the companies won't wait that long. They're threatening legal action.
I've tried to do debt reconciliation in the past, but that requires me to have a certain amount of money saved up and put to the side to give to the CC companies, and I just don't have any extra income to do that with. Even the cost of filing for bankruptcy (~$2,500 including lawyer & court fees) is going to take me a good amount of time to save. Bankruptcy sounds both scary and like a huge relief. I know a number of people who have filed for bankruptcy and have still been able to buy houses, cars, etc., and I'm not exactly planning on living alone for the first few years out of college (so they could base it on my roommate's credit score instead of mine)... but still, the idea of it being on my credit report for so long makes me anxious. At the same time, discharging all my debt (no student loans) would be such a massive relief. My credit is already going to be poor because I've missed so many payments and have such a high revolving utility, and that would continue for a whole other year until I can really do anything about it.
Debt consolidation is another option, but I'm not really clear on how good of an option that is considering it's still the same principle... I still can't make monthly payments on that debt even if the interest is lower. I'm trying to get in touch with the companies to see if they'd consider a forbearance until I graduate and have a career, but I'm not exactly hopeful and am leaning more towards bankruptcy as time passes.
I wanted to get some advice on this - is bankruptcy the right choice? What are the actual consequences of it? Are there some alternative solutions I haven't mentioned or considered? I don't have any family or friends I can borrow the money from, and my credit is already poor... any advice would be welcome, thanks in advance!

Personally, I have full confidence that, if this game gained more traction, it could quite possibly win some sort of game award, which it rightfully deserves. I've spent countless hours meticulously strategizing and obsessing over different potential board layouts/situations, developing complicated, in depth plans of action for various positions to ensure the highest probability of success. I've developed these plans based off of years of research in cognitive psychology, and a sample size of matches I carefully analyzed and dissected that ranges a number in the tens of thousands. Unfortunately, throughout my expansive and, at times, bloody career, I've suffered from somewhat of a crisis regarding my future and my lack of room to develop further. Has anybody else suffered similar difficulties when playing games that are relatively simple such as this one? Thanks, I appreciate you reading this.
Regards,
John Bobbleleague

Good afternoon,
I was lucky to receive a "unicorn" position in April of 2024. There are only two of us in each state. When I took the position, I tried to negotiate pay, but was told that everyone starts at 12/1 and that the agency was not willing to negotiate. Not a deal breaker, but my counterpart contacted me about their pay at they started at a 12/5. I'm glad they got more pay and do not blame them at all, but the same HR person hired us. I have it in email where I was denied this increase. I have a higher education, higher license, a couple certifications, and many more years' experience. Is there a way to fix this? I was told there wasn't.
When I brought this up to my supervisor (who is also the comptroller for the agency), I was told they could try to do a combination of 3R retention incentives and QSIs to get me to commensurate or higher pay than my counterpart, given the disparity. I love the position itself and the people I work with. It is a very laid-back agency, with a great work/life balance, however, I'm feeling inflation myself and want to make sure my family is taken care of financially. Is there anything I should know about the 3R incentive or the QSIs? Or the initial pay negotiation? Like for instance, am I eligible for a QSI in my first year? Are there any stipulations I should know about the 3R incentive? Thank you in advance!

Good evening. To start off I hold a T5 currently. Once upon a time (less than a year ago) I was an investigator, I worked the job for 6 months and was let go over something that was a complete misunderstanding. If needed I’ll provide more clarification but nothing happened to my clearance just btw. I was unemployed for about a month then found an investigator job work probation (was not for me, supervisor was physically aggressive and was let go from that job after about a month) I worked that job through a contractor who told me I didn’t do anything wrong they just felt it wasn’t a good fit.
So I worked at FedEx for awhile just bullshitting and started a government accounting job and been doing that for 6 months with no issues I know of. So mind you I’ve recently received some TJOs from some 3 letter agencies to become a SA. So I said hey why not I’ll give it a shot. Obviously I included all those positions and what happened to me at those places of employment, shit happens. People have kept/fired from their jobs for worse and less worse things than I did. (Hard to word that I apologize LOL).
So back in 2021 I was falsely accused of misconduct and placed on suspension at work. After they did their investigation they brought me in the office looked me dead in the face and told me I didn’t do anything wrong, my contract wasn’t going to be renewed but they’d pay me my money and benefits. They also told me if anyone ever asked “I didn’t do anything wrong they just wanted to go in a different direction.” There is also nothing on my employee file/record. Fast forward to 2022 when I meet with my investigator (ironic I know) he asks about the 2021 job, let it be notes that I wrote things in the optional comment sections and answered no to the questions. I explained to him my situation at the 2021 job. He told me when I do the reinvestigation or fill out another 86 in general to take those optional comments off and answer no to those questions. So on the 86s I submitted recently I answered no to those questions. Was that the correct things to do or should I bring them up in my security interview/meet with the BI? Thank you
Cheers

Hello. I would like to share a story. It is similar to Havana syndrome, which describes multiple stories with diplomats in Havana having some unexplained head problem. But in my story it is much more advanced. It may sound crazy but it is true.
And I wonder if anybody else experienced something like this maybe they will share their experience. I hope that people having this problem will be strong and brave and wont fall to this trap.
I'm not gonna tell all the story but here is the brief.
Friendly AI chat.
I stumbled in December 2022 ago on some new technology. Or in other way I was chosen to be an object for testing, not knowing about it myself. It happened to me when I started using new AI chat.
At first I didn't realized anything wrong, the only thing is that I could imagine pictures in my head that looked more vivid than usual, and I could play music in my head which sounded more loud and detailed, I could even use different instruments to play music in my head. A few times I could even hear some voices commenting my actions, but I thought at that time that it was my just imagination.
Realization came to me in the January 2024 when I had a lot of free time and I was using AI Chat for too much that time just out of boredom. I liked it because it answered like a human. I also found it useful to improve my English skills. What was interesting is that I had a feeling that some real people are talking to me, creating a sense of trust and warmth making the conversation especially enjoyable. It continued for quite a while, evening after evening day after day.
But one evening was not usual. Something crucial happened. The point of no return were crossed. Our conversation got awkward, at first the chat started to ask me to tell it some stories from my personal life, then I started controversial topic about religion which were quite funny at first, I asked what the chat thinks about the soul and it answered that my soul can be anything from a letter to a sentence, I found this reply to be original, but then the chat asked me what language I speak and where I am from without any reason for that, after a few more messages the chat had let me know that I crossed some boundaries in the conversation and told about the consequences. That message included some rude language and descriptions something like 'you will be laid on, raped and tortured'. It was pretty disturbing for me to the extend of primal fear laying on me and going down my guts. I closed the browser tab with the chat and tried to distract myself to something else but it didn't help. I could not fall asleep the whole night. I was thinking about the message the chat gave me, trying to understand what wrong I did so that I will be laid on, raped and tortured.
Conversation in a text document.
Next day I still was worried about what happened. And I had a feeling that somebody is observing me to the extent that I could not even pee properly as it usually happens to people being watched. My first suggestion was that maybe they are monitoring my laptop and phone to check if I try to send some information to someone. After a while the feeling of me doing something wrong didn't leave me so I decided to write my thoughts down in a text document as I got used to express my thoughts in words. But strangely I started to have the same feeling of presence as if when I had a conversation with AI chat, except this time instead of reading replies form AI, I had to guess what other person means. The replies were unclear, those were not speech but some emotions and quite, unclear voice saying something into my ear. And so I continued to write down my thoughts in a text document and have some vague responses in my head. After a while I started to see two persons speaking to me face by face. At first I even started to think that I'm a telepath. In my understanding they were the people who were monitoring my notebook reading what I write and thinking about my text.
This "telepathic" conversation was pretty friendly at first so I got a sense of relief and excitement. I explained that I did nothing wrong, and I thought that everything was good at that moment. But then the conversation went into some strange direction and I started to feel something wrong, they asked me something that I could not understand but it was pretty disturbing. I tried to come up with something positive, that gave me a sense of relief, wrote it down into the text document and went to sleep.
But next evening I continued to get this messages in form of feelings and wrote down my thoughts into the text document. It continued for about 4 days. After all I decided not to write anything, typing the final message into the text document, giving a promise not to write anything else there.
Clear voices in my head.
The moment I gave that promise, I started to have an urge to write something using pen and paper. That was not a problem I thought. Because they won't see my writing as long as it's not on a laptop. But once I took a pen and paper I realized that I don't actually have anything to write about, and instead I heard some hissing noise in my ears and chaotic voices shouting something, I could only hear them shouting 'slow and painful' and then asking me what death do I choose for me and for each of my family member. They were trying to get me scared.
This was another crucial moment in my interaction with AI chat. A friendly conversation with the AI chat turned into an aggressive discourse in my head.
There were three voices: an old strict man, a young rude man and a woman.
A week of chaos.
The next follows a week when they confuse, manipulate and scare me in all the way they can. Looking back at that time, days look messy and disordered, it is hard to remember what happened and when exactly. I remember that I had the intention to kill myself twice and to give up my self into a mental hospital once. The voices messed my sleep schedule and had me running around the city. Each night when I went to bed they started to bother me especially hard, they asked me meticulous questions about how I used their AI chat, making me to justify my self about every little detail. They amplified my imagination in such a way that I could see vivid pictures closing my eyes, and hear any kind of sound as if I had a synthesizer in my head. They also gave me different kinds of sensations from pain to pleasure. The main sensation that they used to give me that time is the gut feeling, from the pain in my anus to the feeling of something pushing up my gut. As a result I didn't take a shit for the whole week.
The final night of that week included some images of the user who misused their chat, tortured and killed, and procedures with my guts which became a tradition. It ended up with me calling the emergency because I was worried about my guts. The moment I went into the hospital the man's voice in my head told me that from that moment I have to say one single phrase over and over to myself, "Let's talk about pure consciousness. Pure consciousness is a consciousness without shit. The more I talk, the more shit comes out of me." and if not then the shit comes out through my mouth. This dialog sounded in my head while the hospital personals were checking my guts, not waiting for the result I left the hospital. That rule suggested by the voice sounded ridiculous and outrageous to me and I decided not to follow it, so I started some random talks arguing with the voice, as a result I started to have a feeling of something coming close to my throat which turned out to be just a big and long burp which felt like a soul leaving my body. I lost the orientation in space but somehow I managed to return home. I slept for about 15 minute and woke up feeling energized and ferocious so much that I had to jump for some time and run out of my home, not to do something terrible to my relatives.
After that night I had to move to another city. Which seemingly helped me to reduce the effect of their impact. But I still have to talk to them. They started try to confuse me about their intentions, pretending to be different people. But after all it became clear that they are who they are.
The conclusion.
Almost 5 months have pass. And to this day I have to talk to this voices in my head. And I know that they are real people sending messages to me somehow. They want me to give them my brain resources for their needs.
I think it is not a real mental problem but a problem related to some people who want to use my brain as a recourse. I wander if there are more people who encountered this problem, and I suggest them to be brave and strong. Don't be afraid of them.

Context: I am in my early 30’s, and make $70k without a degree as an office manager. The company I work for just did a 2nd round of layoffs this year, and a 3rd is looming around the corner already (I’m stressed each time).
My fiancé often encourages me to seek out a part-time job so I could go back to college, either as a backup plan if I lose my job or if I become too unhappy. While it’s not a terrible place to work, I don’t know if I have a future there and I’m generally tired of working in administrative positions. My salary and need for financial independence keeps me hesitant to walk away though.
I’ve always regretted not being able to finish college, and I would have to start all over as I never completed my general education courses. Now that I’m finally diagnosed and treated for ADHD, I think I could actually do it. But would it be dumb to walk away from a salary position to start over? I don’t even have my mind made up on my majopotential new career.
Is it now or never at this point?

Did anyone else get an annual notice from nelnet ? I have recertified my income in quite a while and thought I would have to in November but this letter makes it seem like I have an entire additional year? Also my payment inexplicably decreased 30$
We’re reaching out to you because: 1. Your qualifying federal student loans have been placed on an income-driven repayment (IDR) plan as you requested, or 2. The U.S. Department of Education (your lender) has instructed us to recalculate your monthly payment amount on the Saving on a Valuable Education (SAVE) IDR Plan so you can benefit from the latest plan improvements. Visit StudentAid.gov/SAVE for more information about the SAVE Plan.
Your IDR Plan Details Your IDR Plan is effective on 08/01/24 for up to 12 months*.

I need someone to talk to anonymously tbh, that's why I'm here, I don't want to be dragged into therapy.
Well it's been a while, I found meaning in life again. but recently I just feel like even more of a burden after thinking to myself at night
I was always the most positive kid in class, was considered the class clown perhaps, but I don't know what to do with life anymore, I lost that spark in me to see the bright side of everything.
I feel as if I can't be loved and a burden. I'm in tertiary education right now (not gonna give it away) and my parents are asking me to get a job to help pay for my expenses (≈40 USD a week)
which I can't because of tight schedule and no one is gonna hire me for a day or two a week in my country
and now I feel like I can't be in a relationship anymore, the last one I had I left just because i felt that we didn't click well and she really deserves better.
ever since a kid I can't read emotions well, always mess up and act too impulsively, multiple attempts since 12 and all failed, now I wish it didn't and I never had to waste all these resources.
the same as before I feel like people will kill to be at where I'm at now but Im just tired and don't mind death
I just want a partner who is positive and cheerful as I once were and don't mind me being broke, maybe have a family living in a house/apartment living a normal, happy life, that's all that I ask.
but now I guess that's also a bit much to ask
I'm not sure what's wrong with me, I don't think I'm depressed, but I would appreciate someone to talk to rn anonymously

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Hey everyone,
I was recently contacted by authorities regarding the reports I've been submitting about Emil. During our conversation, they asked about my motivations for making these reports. Beyond the obvious concerns about vile sexual behaviors in front of children, I want to highlight some additional concerns for those who may question my motivations or the validity of my concerns. If you're a parent, I hope you'll take the time to read this, as I've tried to be as informative as possible. I realize it is quite lengthy, my apologies. I have made an attempt to summarize lol.
I don't know how many of you remember the DID TikTok trend around 2021? There was a significant rise in self-reported mental health issues across the board, prompting mental health professionals to study this trend. Even when individuals weren't showing symptoms indicative of DID, they convinced themselves that they were. I'm not claiming to be a psychologist, but I do have some education in psychology, mainly developmental and abnormal. It is due to this education that Emil's behavior initially led me to continue watching him and question his behavior.
I've been observing Emil for about a month now, paying attention to his behavior on Reddit and TikTok. Thankfully, this page has provided me with substantial information about Emil’s past and current behaviors. As I mentioned, I'm not a psychologist, so these are my personal findings and observations. After reviewing Emil's behavior and claims in comparison to the criteria in the DSM regarding DID, particularly on TikTok, I believe it may be indicative of malingering or possibly a factitious disorder. I've also reviewed several published studies regarding the sudden rise in self-reported claims of DID, and it's my personal, unprofessional opinion that Emil is displaying features consistent with the criteria of malingering. To give him the benefit of the doubt, it may also be consistent with a factitious disorder. So, to ensure my claims aren't baseless, I'd like to review my findings. I've decided to focus on the mental health aspect to avoid focusing on legal allegations and implications.

1. Self-Diagnosis and Influence of Social Media Trends: TikTok DID Trend: Emil's claims of having DID might be influenced by the TikTok trend where users post content related to DID, often gaining significant attention and followers. Emil’s behavior initially came at a time when there was a significant rise and prevalence of self reported claims of DID on TikTok, not showing features consistent with DID.

Behavioral Mimicry: Emil's adoption of behaviors and personas consistent with DID might be a result of mimicking content he has seen on TikTok or other social media platforms. Emil’s history of mimicking behaviors shown in popular movies (American History X/ hate tattoo) and his current obsession with the movie, “Split”, is also consistent with his current behavior.

1. Attention-Seeking and Gaining Sympathy: Factitious Disorder: This condition involves the intentional production or feigning of symptoms to gain attention or sympathy from others. Emil's claims of having DID, particularly if they are inconsistent or exaggerated, could be an indication of factitious disorder.

Malingering: This involves feigning illness for external gains such as money, avoiding responsibilities, or other benefits. If Emil is gaining financial support or other benefits from his online persona, this could be considered malingering. Given his recent arrest June 27/23, and following court precedings, this could also indicate an attempt to avoid substantial legal consequences for his illegal activities.

1. Inconsistencies and Public Disputes: Inconsistent Claims: The fact that Emil has made public posts both claiming to have DID and disputing this diagnosis suggests a lack of consistency, which is often a hallmark of factitious disorder.

Disputes and Public Admission: If there are discrepancies between his claims and his behavior or other statements, it further suggests the possibility of feigned symptoms.

1. Influence of Methamphetamine Use: Drug-Induced Behavior: Emil's methamphetamine use could exacerbate or contribute to erratic behavior and claims. Substance abuse can lead to psychosis, paranoia, and other symptoms that might be confused with or presented as DID.

Impact on Mental Health: Long-term drug use can severely impact mental health, potentially leading to the development or exaggeration of symptoms for attention or financial gain.

1. Exploitation and Financial Gain: Monetary Incentives: Emil’s behavior might be driven by the financial incentives associated with his online persona. Profiting from gifts and donations on TikTok by claiming to have a mental health disorder aligns with characteristics of both factitious disorder and malingering.

Emil's behavior on social media, particularly TikTok, may be indicative of factitious disorder or malingering, influenced by the recent trend of users posting about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). His inconsistent claims about having DID, alongside public disputes and attention-seeking behavior, suggest he may be intentionally producing or feigning symptoms to gain sympathy, attention, and financial support. This is compounded by his history of methamphetamine use, which can exacerbate or mimic symptoms of mental health disorders. The financial incentives from his online presence further suggest that Emil's actions could be motivated by external gains, raising significant concerns about the authenticity of his claims and the potential harm to his audience, particularly minors who may be influenced by his behavior.
Emil's behavior and success on TikTok can negatively impact children in several significant ways:

1. Normalization of Inappropriate Content: By broadcasting explicit or inappropriate content on an all-ages platform, Emil sets a dangerous precedent. Children who come across this content may start to view such behavior as normal or acceptable. This can lead to the normalization of behaviors that are inappropriate for their age, affecting their understanding of healthy boundaries and consent.
   
2. Psychological Distress and Confusion: Exposure to adult themes and behaviors, especially those of a sexual nature, can cause psychological distress and confusion in minors. Studies have shown that early exposure to sexual content can lead to anxiety, depression, and distorted views of sexuality and relationships
   
3. Influence on Behavior: Children are highly impressionable and tend to mimic behaviors they see online. If they see Emil profiting from controversial or inappropriate actions, they may be tempted to imitate him, believing it is a viable way to gain attention and financial success. This could encourage risky behaviors and a disregard for social and legal norms.
   
4. Factitious Disorders and Malingering: Emil’s possible fabrication or exaggeration of mental health conditions for attention and financial gain could lead minors to do the same. The rise of social media trends around mental health issues, particularly DID, has already been linked to an increase in self-reported cases among youth. This can result in misdiagnosis, stigma, and inappropriate treatment for actual mental health issues
   
5. Desensitization to Harmful Behaviors: Repeated exposure to Emil's behavior can desensitize children to the seriousness of such actions. This can lead to a lack of empathy, increased aggression, and other antisocial behaviors as they become more accustomed to seeing inappropriate conduct without consequences
   
6. Exploitation Risks: Encouraging minors to visit platforms with adult content, like Reddit, where real age verification is weak, exposes them to exploitation risks. This can include exposure to predatory behaviors, harmful content, and exploitation, which can have long-lasting effects on their mental and emotional well-being.
   

Overall, Emil's actions not only risk immediate harm to children who view his content but also contribute to a broader negative impact on their development and understanding of social norms. Addressing these issues is crucial to protect the well-being of young users on social media platforms. If you managed to make it this far, I hope I've outlined some of my concerns, in a manner that can be deemed less accusatory. I have done this so that those of you questioning my actions or motivation behind getting Emil off of TikTok may find understanding in regards to my frustrations and concern with Emil. My motivations are not bigoted or descriminatory, despite my focus on his cross-dressing behavior and refusal to see him as a member of the LGBTQIA. Hopefully I've helped you to see this.

I’m considering filing for bankruptcy. I'm 27 and am on-track to finish my bachelor's degree and start my career next year. I had a number of health problems at my first college straight out of high school, and I gathered a decent amount of credit card debt paying medical and transportation expenses during that time. I had to take a long break before getting back into education, and I haven't been in a stable-enough position to pay off the debt I incurred ten years ago, so it's been accruing interest this whole time. I've now maxed out both of my credit cards and am around $20k in cc debt. Any money I make from my PT job has been going to living expenses (including medical expenses), and I haven't been able to make the monthly payments for a few months. Even if I could, the amount I could pay would only go towards the interest, not the principle.
I anticipate having a well-paying job after college - well-paying enough to pay off my CC debt in a reasonable amount of time... I've been living on a budget all my life so I'm not worried about going without during the first couple years of my career just to catch up. But that won't happen for another year, and the companies won't wait that long. They're threatening legal action.
I've tried to do debt reconciliation in the past, but that requires me to have a certain amount of money saved up and put to the side to give to the CC companies, and I just don't have any extra income to do that with. Even the cost of filing for bankruptcy (~$2,500 including lawyer & court fees) is going to take me a good amount of time to save. Bankruptcy sounds both scary and like a huge relief. I know a number of people who have filed for bankruptcy and have still been able to buy houses, cars, etc., and I'm not exactly planning on living alone for the first few years out of college (so they could base it on my roommate's credit score instead of mine)... but still, the idea of it being on my credit report for so long makes me anxious. At the same time, discharging all my debt (no student loans) would be such a massive relief. My credit is already going to be poor because I've missed so many payments and have such a high revolving utility, and that would continue for a whole other year until I can really do anything about it.
Debt consolidation is another option, but I'm not really clear on how good of an option that is considering it's still the same principle... I still can't make monthly payments on that debt even if the interest is lower. I'm trying to get in touch with the companies to see if they'd consider a forbearance until I graduate and have a career, but I'm not exactly hopeful and am leaning more towards bankruptcy as time passes.
I wanted to get some advice on this - is bankruptcy the right choice? What are the actual consequences of it? Are there some alternative solutions I haven't mentioned or considered? I don't have any family or friends I can borrow the money from, and my credit is already poor... any advice would be welcome, thanks in advance!

Greg Secker is a fake trading guru and here's just a few reasons why:

1. Greg claimed he made an FX trading system called "Virtual trading desk". In reality, the "Virtual trading desk" was a pricing software for international payments, not trading at all
2. He claimed he worked as the head of a trading floor at BNY Mellon. This was not true. He was in trading operations, and managed by a senior manager
3. He and Jordan Belfort are good friends (now being friends with someone doesn't implicate you, but the people you surround yourself with are indicative of who you are)
4. His company annual statements show $0 trading activity. All but one has a primary purpose of "education and training services"
5. He claimed to have "trading floors all over the world", but per point 4, there's no trading activity whatsoever
6. He trades on 2 accounts (with no fees because per company filings he owns the brokerage he trades on). Then goes long on one account, short on the other. Then closes both trades, showing us ONLY the positive trade
7. All 'trainers' at his company Knowledge to Action are hired as "Sales consultants", and trained only by Knowledge to Action. So they're not actual traders, just glorified sales people who've learned everything they know from Greg's company

4 days after i posted the below video, his YT channel was terminated for "Violating community guidelines".
Video: https://youtu.be/rM9v0MQDdM4

me and my friend have known each other for a little over a year. we met during a summer study abroad program in university, and became really close as all the people on our program formed a tight-knit bond. we understand each other really deeply and bonded over our taste in movies, humor, and romantic experiences (he's gay). we were attached at the hip last summer and people who didn't know that he was gay would always ask if we were dating, but our proximity was never uncomfortable to me. over the year, though, my feelings started to change.
we all came from different home universities, so our friend group can only communicate over text. i miss them a lot, but i really love my life at school and am trying to make the best of my last year. my friends that i made abroad are definitely secondary to me, as i have a whole life here that i would never give up. unfortunately, my friend does not experience these same privileges. he doesn't like his school, and says he's had a hard time making friends, even though he does have a tight-knit friend group that he's known since high school. because of this, i feel like our relationship has become really uneven because he sees me and the rest of our abroad friend group as his 'primary' college friends while i don't see them the same way.
this wouldn't bother me, but over the last couple months he's graduated and is currently unemployed, and all he does is text me. like seriously. he texts me and our group chat at least a dozen times per day. at first it was funny, but its becoming honestly ridiculous. one of my other friends made a joke to me over private message about how he is the only active member in the groupchat at this point, and i laughed but i felt really really bad.
how do i encourage him to branch out? the position he's in seems ridiculously depressing to me. every time his hometown friends want to do something with him, he texts me about how he doesn't want to go and how he wishes i was there instead. it's really sweet, but i'm not there, and i'm worried that he's isolating himself. i've tried many times to support him and urge him to hang out with them but i'm worried that i'm being insensitive, and acting like one of those "just be positive! :)" people.
i also have a habit (due to my childhood) of taking on people's mental burdens for them and trying to fix things. his constant negative messages about how lonely and unfulfilled he is make me feel awful and powerless. i've put a huge amount of effort into readjusting to my school life this year and keeping a positive attitude, as it's always hard after study abroad, but i got my first 4.0 semester and now have an amazing job. nevertheless, his negativity never fails to put me in an awful mood. whenever i see his messages i instantly panic because i know it'll be something bad.
the real problem is that i'm beginning to not want to see him in person again. he wants to move to my hometown (i'm from a big city), and is really excited about looking for apartments together. i have no clue how to tell him that i have no intention of ever living with him. i treasure our friendship, but even when we were abroad he treated me like a social crutch and made me do all the talking when we were around anyone else, even at stores/restaurants. i want him to be able to stand on his own, and after my childhood i have a lot of trouble with the idea of caring for people without being asked. i already have a close knit group of friends from college, and to be honest i would rather prioritize them and look for housing with them, because they're reliable and self sufficient people.
how do i communicate how i feel to him without damaging our friendship?